#kate barr

[anorganizedstreet]

[laf-outloud]

kat.mcnamara Happy #ValentinesDay to all the boys and girls I’ve loved before… Love stories bring a little magic to the mundane. Here’s a little walk down memory lane through some of the on-screen love stories I’ve been a part of telling. Hope your day is full of love and magic! Love to you all! ♥️💋🌹💝 Which one is your favorite?

It's a trip down WIndy memory lane with pics from behind the scenes, and in front!

[loisfreakinglane]

WALKER: INDEPENDENCE || 1.11 “The Pittsburgh Windmill”

[just-ray]

North Carolina, vote Kate Barr for Senate Elections!

[whumpypepsigal]

Walker Independence s01e06: “What the hell was that? You almost got yourself killed.”

[amateur-detectivedrew]

[houseofbrat]

Even Jane Barr--a diehard Kate fan through and through--thinks Kate was papped on purpose.

[inafieldofdaisies]

Walker: Independence (2022) | Season 1, Episode 13 “Let Him Hang”, the season finale | Favorite scenes

“This town, these people, you, Hoyt Rawlins, have grown on me.”  “This is the part where Kate would say… "like a fungus".”

/ This episode was on another level and such a good season finale. The way I cheered at the gang kicking ass, at Hoyt and Kate's legendary scenes... and absolutely living for the bromance between him & Calian. The final scene with Abby & Hoyt was so precious, and ending it with her stealing something of his, a parallel to episode 1 where he kept stealing her ring was such a neat touch. <3

[gimmiesophiebaek]

Season Four: What Do We Know

Returning: Luke Thompson (Benedict, lead), Claudia Jessie (Eloise), Hannah Dodd (Francesca), Will Tilston (Gregory), Florence Hunt (Hyacinth), Ruth Gemmell (Violet), Victor Alli (John), Adjoa Andoh (Lady Danbury), Masali Baduza (Michaela), Golda Rosheuvel (Queen Charlotte), Hugh Sachs (Brimsley), Emma Naomi (Alice), Martins Imhangbe (Will), Daniel Francis (Marcus), Jonathan Bailey (Anthony), Simone Ashley (Kate), Luke Newton (Colin), Nicola Coughlan (Penelope), Polly Walker (Portia), Lorraine Ashbourne (Mrs. Varley), Geraldine Alexander (Mrs. Wilson), Julie Andrews (voice of Lady Whistledown)

Status unknown: Chris Fulton (Phillip), Jessica Madsen (Cressida), Kathryn Drysdale (Genevieve)

Joining: Yerin Ha (Sophie, lead), Katie Leung (Araminta), Michelle Mao (Rosamund), Isabella Wei (Posy), Susan Brown (Mrs. Crabtree), Gracie McGonigal (maid), Summer Knox (debutant), Sachin K. Sharma (Louis), Pablo Diska (“Pretty boy”), David Anthony Barr (“Demimonde Man”)

Rumored/Unconfirmed: Elena Saurel (Miss O), Yoyo Chan (undetermined), Arthur Lee (Richard), Chloe Park (young Sophie), unnamed baby Edmund and unnamed baby Lord Featherington

Shonda Rimes: EP

Besty Beers: EP

Julie Ann Robinson: EP

Chris Van Dusen: Creator and EP emeritus

Jess Bronwell: Showrunner

Kris Bowers: Composer

Tom Verica: Director

Jaffar Mahmood: Director (rumored)

Possible flashbacks of Sophie’s childhood: There are two actors who follow each other on IG that could be playing the Penwood (Arthur Lee) and young Sophie (Chloe Park: please do not repost her social media). Rumored young Sophie also follows Shondaland and Bridgerton IGs.   

Sophie "Baek" background. Sophie has a Korean last name but we don't know if that's from her mother or something her dad made up. His last name was Gun (as far as I understand, also a Korean last name), but her stepsisters' last name is Chinese (Li).

Masquerade: Most likely in E1 because it's the season's first ball. It's the place where “attendees are encouraged to transform into whomever they choose”.

It seems that Benedict arrives late to the masquerade ball.

Benophie dance lesson is switched from the terrace to inside a gazebo. One of Sophie's gloves is *involved*. We still don't know how but probably as in the book (i.e. Cinderella's shoe). Sophie's dress is regency style. Benedict's costume is all black or dark brown.

Lake scene. Since both Yerin and Luke have already talked about this I think it's safe to say it will be the big talking point in the season's promo with the Masquerade.

There will be a Xiangqi game, a popular Chinese board game.

Benedict's bachelor place: Confirmed thanks to the designer's mood boards on Pinterest).

Kilmartin Estate in Scotland will also be featured (also from the designer's mood boards in Pinterest).

Both Li sisters will debut at the same time.

Rosamund is vain and Araminta's favorite. She tries to win Benedict, who is "the ton’s most eligible (if totally reluctant) bachelor".

Posy is kinder, chatty, overly friendly and socially embarrassing. According to Wei, Posy goes “on a nice journey” throughout the season. 

Leung: Araminta is fabulous, discerning, blunt and does "not respond well when anything -or anyone- threatens her standing in society". She is a "mother-slash-villain" and would “never call her evil because I adore her – I think she’s absolutely fabulous. She’s just heavily misunderstood”. She is also "feeling the pressure to get at least one of her girls married of" and “chemes to marry off one… to Benedict Bridgerton”.

Leung said Araminta’s costumes “are something else”.

Eloise, Francesca and John return to London, specifically to Bridgerton house.

According to Andoh, there is a garden party in E1 or E2. Not sure if Danbury is hosting that party.

The Demimonde is back. We have seen the Demimonde in Granville's parties in S1.

The story most likely begins in spring (social season's time) but there will be a time jump to autumn. There are leaked photos of the Bridgerton house with changing seasons. In an interview, Brownell mentioned how this will “open the Bridgerton world: this could mean the autumn, the countryside or the working class with a main character (or all three at the same time).”

Benedict will begin the season "aimless" and "loveless". Despite "his elder and younger brothers both being happily married, [he] is loathe to settle down"

Benedict’s fluidity will be explored.

Sophie doesn't know how to dance.

Ha: Sophie "craves and yearns for love despite all of her trauma and neglect". She is "a victim of tragic circumstances" and "has trouble trusting others". She has "been forced to work as a maid for one of the most demanding employers in the ton… [but] her resourcefulness helps her persevere".

Thompson: Benedict is "a man of many interests, and that’s great in some ways, and in some ways, though, can betray a sense of being lost or a little bit restless. And that goes quite deep… There is clearly something in him that’s not very comfortable, a bit scared or a bit worried about the idea of really committing to something. And that’s partly the struggle".

Sophie's decision to disguise herself in order to attend the masquerade will be "risky". This probably means they are following the part of the book where Araminta throws her out into the street after the ball.

We'll see a "shift" in Benedict when he meets a "mysterious lady in silver". He will "find himself on the hunt for Sophie".

Sophie is not "like the debutantes that usually populate Bridgerton". There is a "sincerity of her face".

Love at first sight trope confirmed: Sophie's decision also means that "both lives [hers and Benedicts] are forever changed" after the ball. Ha described it as "prismatic… when the light comes in and then it goes into a rainbow".

Ha: The season will be an "emotional tug of war, this kind of push and pull between what their hearts desire and what society desires for them".

Thompson: Also a "struggle between a proper old-school fairy tale -the romance of it- and the actual reality of the world… both are true. You have to hold both of them -the romance and the reality- in your hand. In its best version, 'true love' happens in the middle of that".

Sophie will struggle with her own mask because of the "battle of social status" or when she is "trying to hide her feelings from Benedict".

Upper and lower class trope: Confirmed. Ha: "It is the first time we really see the upper and lower class come together this season… My character is someone who constantly has her guard up. She… is always reminded of her place and doesn’t dream of more than her station as a maid. However, she is human after all, and craves that human-to-human love and connection. And it’s not until she meets Benedict that she slowly lets her guard down, bit by bit, and starts to create space to let love flow in for her."

Thank you to Mado_93 on Reddit for gathering all this info and allowing me to bring this over to Tumblr!

[therockstarsmuse]

𝐵𝓁𝑜𝑔 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃

˖ . ݁𝜗 . 𝜚. ݁₊

(Seen a few people do this so why not !)

Things about me:

˚₊‧⁺ my nickname is amaya

︎୧༺ l ’m British and I’m south-Asian

݁˖°✧ | im 1083 years old (totally)

Hobbies/interests:

˚₊‧⁺ izzy stradlin, fashion, 60s-2000s Modeling era, poetry,psychology (schools killing me in it), French new wave filmography, philosophy,i ♡ horror,physiological and Thriller movies, physical media, skateboarding, Human nature/ body language, Journalism, true crime, slyvia Plath, playboy, Franz Kafka, vintage trinkets,reading , photography, crocheting, playing the electric guitar (and so much more)

My music taste :

︎୧༺ Jeff Buckley,Elliot smith,led zeppelin, mötley crüe, the Rolling Stones, Radiohead, the runways, the sex pistols, Françoise Hardy, pink Floyd, Fleetwood mac, the Beatles, oasis’s, guns n roses, Metallica,Pantera,Frank and Nancy Sinatra, the doors, Pj Harvey, Jimi Hendrix, nirvana, Bon Jovi, the kinks, Wham, Depeche mode, poison, misfits, the b-52s, Duran Duran, the velvet underground, babes in toy land, hole( once again so much more)

Top 4 movies:

݁˖°✧ the Doom generation, the piano teacher, slc punk, old boy

My personal inspos :

ೃ࿔*:･ Kate moss, Bettie Page, Pamela Anderson, Stevie Nicks, Joan Jett, Jane birkin, Pamela des barres, Nancy spungen, Olsen twins, Patti smith

Socials :

𐙚₊˚⊹ Pinterest

♡ Instagram

౨ৎ letterboxd

Extra:

°❀ my post is dedicated to Izzy<3 (who’s actually my husband) but I like to post about Lana del rey, 50s-90s stuff, “girl blogging” and hopefully more In the future 𝜗𝜚

Finalè:

୨♡︎୧ if anyone wants to be Friends or wants to message me please please do! don’t b shy ( I am) my DMs r always open for literally anything

༺୨♡︎୧༺

[thousandfireworks]

Authors whose books you have to avoid because they are problematic.

Abigail Hing Wen.

Alex Aster.

Alice Hoffman.

Alice Oseman.

Alison Win Scotch. ‘Terrorism is never acceptable. Not in Israel.’

Allie Sarah.

Amber Kelly.

Amy Harmon.

Annabelle Monaghan.

Anna Akana.

Aurora Parker.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz.

Brandon Sanderson. Islamophobic.

Carissa Broadbent. Said that hamas is doing violence against innocence.

Chloe Walsh. Siding with Israel in the name of humanity.

Christina Lauren. Believe that Israel is the victim. A racist, also Islamophobic.

Colleen Hoover.

Cora Reilly. Travel to Israel despite criticism.

Danielle Bernstein. Islamophobic.

Danielle Lori.

Deke Moulton. Said hamas is terrorist.

Dian Purnomo.

Eliza Chan.

Elle Kennedy.

Elyssa Friedland.

Emily Henry.

Emily Mclntire.

Emily St. J. Mandel. Admiring Israel.

Gabrielle Zevin. Wrote a book about anti-Palestine. Mentioned Israel multiple times without context on his book.

Gregory Carlos. Israeli author. A zionist.

Hannah Whitten.

Hazel Hayes. Reposted a post about October 7th.

Heidi Shertok.

Jamie McGuire.

Jay Shetty. ‘Violence is happening in Israel.’

Jean Meltzer.

Jeffery Archer. Wrote a book with a mc Israel operative (mossad) in a positive and anti terrorist light.

Jennifer Hartman. Liked a post about pro-Israel.

Jen Calonita.

Jessa Hastings.

Jill Santopolo. Said that Israel has right to exist and fight back.

John Green.

Jojo Moyes.

J. Elle.

J. K. Rowling. Support genocide. Racist. Islamophobic.

Kate Canterbery.

Kate Stewart.

Katherine Howe.

Katherine Locke.

Kristin Hannah. Support Israel. Shared a donation link.

Laini Taylor.

Laura Thalassa. Islamophobic.

Lauren Wise. Cussed that Palestinian supporters would be raped in front of children.

Lea Geller. Thanked people who supports Israel.

Leigh Dragoon. Islamaphobic and anti Asian racist rants on Twitter and threads

Leigh Stein.

Lilian Harris. A racist. Blocking people who educates about colonialism in Palestine and call them disgusting.

Lisa Barr. A daughter of Holocaust survivor. Support Israel.

Lisa Kennedy Montgomery.

Lisa Steinke.

Liz Fenton.

Lynn Painter. Afraid of getting cancelled as a pro-Palestine and posted a template afterwards.

L. J. Shen. Her husband joins idf (Israel army).

Mariana Zapata.

Marie Lu.

Marissa Meyer.

Melissa de la Cruz.

Michelle Cohen Corasanti.

Michelle Hodkin. Spread false rumors about arab-hamas. Islamophobic.

Mitch Albom. ‘We shouldn't blame Israel for surviving attacks or defending against them.’

Monica Murphy. Siding with Israel.

Naomi Klein.

Navah Wolfe.

Neil Gaiman. Suggested Palestinians unite with Israel and become citizens.

Nicholas Sparks.

Nic Stone. Talked nonsense that children in Palestinian refugee camp are training to be martyrs for Allah because they felt it was their call in life.

Nyla K.

Olivia Wildenstein. Blocking people who disagree with Israel wrongdoing.

Pamela Becker.

Penelope Douglas.

Pierce Brown.

Rachel Lynn Solomon.

Rebecca G. Martinez.

Rebecca Yarros. ‘I despise violence’ her opinion about what's happening in Gaza. Blocking people who calls her a zionist.

Rena Rossner.

Renee Ahdieh.

Rick Riordan.

Rina Kent.

Rivka (noctem.novelle).

Rochelle Weinstein.

Romina Garber. ‘These terrorist attacks do nothing to improve the lives of Palestinians people.’

Roshani Chokshi. Encourage people to donate to Israel.

Samantha Greene Woodruff.

Sarah J. Mass. Her book contained ideology of zionism.

Stephanie Garber. Promoting books by zionist author (Sarah J. Mass)

Skye Warren.

Sonali Dev.

Talia Carner.

Tarryn Fisher. Said ‘there was terrorist attack in Israel.’

Taylor Jenkins Reid. Posted a video about genocide.

Tere Liye. Rumoured to have ghoswriters to write his books and never give credit to them.

Tillie Cole.

Tracy Deon.

Trinity Traveler (Ade Perucha Hutagaol). Rumour to wrote book about handsome Israelis.

T. J. Klune.

Uri Kurlianchik.

Veronica Roth.

Victoria Aveyard. ‘Israel has the right to exist.’ quote from her about the issue.

V. E. Schwab. Shared a donation link and video about Israel.

Yuval Noah. ‘Israel has the right to do anything to defend themselves.’

Zibby Owens.

[laf-outloud]

What a beautiful love letter to Walker: Independence! This is just a sampling, and I didn't include the 80+ responses from fans, but it's wonderful to see WIndy so loved!

[loisfreakinglane]

WALKER: INDEPENDENCE || 1.11 “The Pittsburgh Windmill”

[omegaremix]

Favorites For 2019.

Boy Harsher “Face The Fire”

KVB, The “Afterglow”

Silent Servant Shadows Of Death And Desire

Void Vision “The Source”

Lebanon Hanover “Babes Of The ‘80’s” (Tobias Bernstrup RMX)

Ron Morelli Disappearer

Daylyt Let There B Light

Kanga self-titled

Nas “Simple Things”

Masta Killa & Inspectah Deck & GZA “Silverbacks”

Schwefelgelb Dahinter Das Gesich

Cash McCall “Omega Man”

Wild Man Fischer “I’m Working For The Federal Bureau Of Narcotics”

Dick Walter “The Fat Man”

Firefall “Strange Way”

Ice Cube “Arrest The President”

Figure Study “Wait”

Fontaines D.C. “Too Real”

Adrian Belew “Big Electric Cat”

Azar Swan Savage Exile

Primitive Weapons “Keep The Lights On”

ChandraTransportation

End Of A Year / Self Defense Family “Alleta”

Mirrors For Psychic Warfare “Tomb Puncher”

Body Of Light “Holding You”

Vatican Shadow “Tonight Saddam Walks Amidst Ruins”

Adult. “Lick Out The Content”

Molly Nilsson “A Slice Of Lemon”

Broken English Club “Channel 83”

Urochromes “Night Bully” (Boy Harsher RMX)

Strahinja Arbutina “You Don’t Need This In Your Life”

White Ring “Leprosy”

Cabaret Nocturne “Blind Trust”

Natural Assembly “She Walks In Beauty”

Drvg Cvltvre “I Look For Your Face In The Neon Lights”

Soft Moon “Like A Father”

Primitive Weapons “Negative Mass”

Drvg Cvltvre “Blood Eagle Brigade”

Soma Sema “Artificial Heart”

Grun Wasser “Limits For Limits”

Undertheskin “Cold”

Emptyset “Dissolve”

Pink Turns Blue “I Coldly Stare Out”

Soko “Ocean Of Tears”

Annabel Lee “Hi Hi Hi”

Exasperation “Full Story”

Bangzz “Your Boyfriend Is Really Bringing You Down”

Lost Under Heaven “Black Sun Rising”

Fa-5 “El Blue”

Clear Soul Forces “Get No Better”

Meyhem Lauren & DJ Muggs “Hashashin” (ft. Conway)

Feel, The “You’re Not Around”

Doe “Team Spirit”

Sky H1 “Huit”

Tera Melos “Men’s Shirt”

Earth “Cats On The Briar”

Thanks For Coming     ”Underboxesbehinddoorsinsidepocketswithindrawers”

Evidence “10,000 Hours”

Priests “The Seduction Of Kansas”

GFXR & Alchemist “Ajax”

BadBadNotGood “In Your Eyes” (ft. Charlotte Wilson)

Hookworms “Negative Space”

Joe Moks self-titled

Billy Cobham “Tenth Pinn” (live)

Iodi “Sonrie”

White Mystery “White Mystery”

Kruangbin “August 10”

Marcio Montarroyos “Pedra Bonita”

Midnight Oil “Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained”

Thanks For Coming “Five And A Half Feet Under”

Ripped Jeans “Afraid”

America Fuck Fertility Clown

Trouble Knows Me “Trouble Knows Me”

S. English “Sanctuary”

Free Time “All Four Seasons”

Sky Ferreira “Down Lullabye”

Terekke “Closer”

Boulders self-titled

Tony Williams drum solo

Drift “Say It Right”

Water From Your Eyes “You Never Admit You Could Be Better”

GG Allin & The Holy Men “Tough Fuckin’ Shit”

Anderson .Paak “Come Home” (f. Andre 3000)

HTRK “Summer Rain”

Priests “Jesus’ Son”

WGSC “Ajax”

Model/Actriz “New Face”

Kedr Livanskiy “Kiska”

DJ Premier “Headlines” (f. Westside Gunn & Conway)

Planit Hank “Life In Crooklyn” (ft. Jeru The Damaja & Buckshot & AZ)

Gnarcissists “Models”

Promiseland “Take Down The House”

Will Haven “When The Walls Close In”

Aurat “Dhokebaaz”

Raekwon “Silk”

Walt Barr “Creepin’”

DJ Muggs “Day Of The Dead” (f. Kool G Rap)

Jeru The Damaja “Harriet Tubman”

*unknown artist “Anastenaria” (Pete Swanson RMX)

Miss Red “Loco”

Deep Red / Canal Street Electronics “Pig And Beast”

Uniform & The Body “Penance”

Preoccupations “Espionage”

Percee P “Put It On The Line (BX)”

JK Flesh “Rub Me Out”

Freddie Gibbs & Madlib “Crime Pays”

Kate Tempest “Holy Elixir”

Big Brave “Holding Pattern”

Rong “Cup”

Chris Connelly & William Tucker Songs For Swingin’ Junkies

Model/Actriz “Matador”

Cave In “Winter Window”

Furbie “Skiball”

Your Old Droog “Bubble Hill”

Teddy Lasry “Riverhead”

Nite Jewel “Real High”

Mike (Bonema) “Ipari”

Heavy Metal Kings “Merciful Fate” (f. Goretex)

Ill Bill “Awaiting The Hour” (f. Killah Priest)

Remote Viewing “Whitney Houston, We Have A Problem”

Ayya “Second Mistake”

Adrenochrome The Buzz Or Howl Sessions

Les Rallizes Denudes “The Last One” (soundboard)

Blonde Tongues “Hey Good Lookin’”

Daniel Avery “Stereo L”

Sleazy “Cauchemar Administratif”

Chastity Belt “Ann’s Jam”

False Figure “Exhale”

Zotz “Vacio”

Gong Gong Gong “Siren”

Weeping Icon “Teeth (& A Handbag)”

Copper Sounds & Franco Franco “Accelerazione Generale”

Free Time “Esoteric Tizz”

CRVEL Sombras.

Preoccupations “Pontiac 87”

Cruz De Navajas “Imperialismo”

Palm “Forced Hand”

False Figure “Cardinal Cross”

Strobobean “When You Won’t Look”

Phil Upchurch “Black Gold”

My Brightest Diamond “Quiet Loud”

Lungbutter “Vile”

Silversun Pickups “It Doesn’t Matter Why”

Bad Tracking “Generic Music”

Strobobean “Keep It Together”

Thanks For Coming “That Way”

Diat Positive Energy

Zotz “Fatal”

Dry Cleaning “Magic Of Meghan”

Tropical Fuck Storm “Can’t Stop”

Temples “You’re Either On Something”

Dude York “Falling”

Halshug Drom

Ing “Closet”

Gong Gong Gong “Down Quantity Road”

Taiwan Housing Project “Buy Buy Buy”

Pure Bathing Culture “All Night”

Dry Cleaning “Phone Scam”

Spirits Having Fun “Auto-Portrait”

Zotz Ultima Noche

Stonefield “Dog Eat Dog”

Kurraka Otra Dimension

Gong Gong Gong “Notes Underground”

N0V3L “To Whom It May Concern”

Necking “Big Mouth”

Pllush “Soft In The Dark” (1st VER)

Lunch Lady “Sweet One”

Sub Dio “Peachy Keen”

Dumb “Club Nites”

Second Still “You Two So Alike”

Mystique 2019 demo

Mock Identity “Where You Live”

Patio “Legacy Continued”

Necking “Spare Me”

Otzi 2014 demo

Kitten Forever “Hell Hole”

Sneaks “Tough Luck”

Duckis “Ohio”

Thanks For Coming “We Can’t Both Be Crazy”

M.A.Z.E. “Human Brain” (re-recording)

Duckis “Issue”

Jeanines “Is It Real”

C.H.E.W. “Bread And Circus”

Knife Wife “Every Living Thing”

Pure Pressure Relampago De Furia

Les Rallizes DenudesHeavier Than A Death In The Family

Pasteur Lappe “Na Real Sekele Fo Ya”

[synthapostate]

@lastdaysofwar, Day 20: Photographs/Media (Raleigh Becket, Mako Mori)

Author’s Note: This one is a day late because I might have had a little bit of a meltdown and convinced myself I wasn’t allowed to write it? Imposter syndrome is real.

With the world saved and their work done, Mako and Raleigh don’t have much to do besides hang out in each other’s rooms, just kind of—being friends. Getting to know each other. Talking. Watching martial arts movies, and then Three Stooges shorts, and then some vintage Ultraman. Eating junk food. Not worrying about the fate of the world.

It’s been a long damn time since Raleigh had a real friend. Even as a teenager, before Trespasser shook the foundations of everything he knew—well, he wasn’t exactly a popular guy in high school. No close friends. He wasn’t a great student, he wasn’t a jock, he didn’t know much about people and he knew even less about himself. Mostly, he just bummed around in his big brother’s castoff hoodies, smoking weed behind the gym and waiting for the day when life would make sense. Even his sister didn’t much understand him in those days. Yancy was the only one he had.

And now he has Mako, the coolest girl he’s ever met, and she’s moving him on from old movies to modern music.

“I can’t believe you’ve never heard this song,” she says, unconsciously echoing the words of a different girl, one he knew a million years ago as a high school freshman. He hasn’t thought about that classmate in years, memory faded into obscurity in a way he’s positive Mako never will, but he does remember the song, which, months later, was repurposed as a sort of unofficial memorial song for San Francisco.

(And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing’s changed at all?)

The song Mako wants him to hear will be less momentous than that, he hopes.

“I’m not really a music guy,” Raleigh warns as Mako hands over her tablet. Not that he hates it or anything, but he doesn’t listen to enough to have a clear idea of what his own taste is. He won’t be able to tell her much more than, “Cool.”

“It’s not a test,” Mako says with a smile. “It’s just a song.” She bounces up from the bed and wanders over to the wall, where he’s tacked up all the photos he keeps around to remind him where he came from. “May I look at these?”

“Sure, if you want. They’re nothing special. Just snapshots I’ve taken over the years.”

“And that’s not special?” She leans in to get a closer look at the pictures while Raleigh presses play.

The song is cool, that’s all he can say. Kind of a throwback to the Kate Bush, Tori Amos kind of thing his mom used to listen to, so he has some kind of frame of reference for it. And there’s a part of Mako that’s bled into him like watercolors in the drift; he probably couldn’t hate the things she loves even if he tried. And he doesn’t want to hate it anyway. Mako is happy, bobbing her head and humming along as she looks at his pictures, and he’s happy, too. Really, honestly happy, for the first time in too many years.

“Did you take all of these?” Mako asks.

“Yeah, most of them.” He likes being behind the camera, getting lots of nature shots and cool architectural details of the various places he’s lived, but there are a few pictures of people. Pictures of Raleigh, even, that other people have taken. He really likes the one Tendo snapped of him and Yancy back in Anchorage, the one where you can see in their eyes that both of them were planning to live forever.

“Is this your sister?” Mako asks. Raleigh looks over to see that she’s found the picture of a bunch of girls in ballet class, lined up at the barre. He has to laugh.

“Jazmine’s the one on the end, with her arm up,” he says. “That blond showing off a grand plié is me.”

“Oh!” Mako looks from the picture to Raleigh and back again. “But, you looked like…” She realizes what she’s about to say, and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay. I looked different in the drift.” Mako has never known him as anything but the man he is now, and she’s never seen his past except through his own eyes. It’s not surprising there’s some cognitive dissonance now, seeing the camera’s objective view of how he used to be.

It’s just as weird as his first drift with Yancy, when they had to reconcile his memories of being a boy with Yancy’s memories of having a sister. And it’s not like Yancy wasn’t the first to accept him when he came out, but he had fifteen years of not knowing. Memories are hard to change. But by their third drift, Yancy was remembering Raleigh like Raleigh remembered himself.

“How strange, to be so—mismatched,” Mako says. “To see the wrong face every time you look in the mirror. Does it hurt you to look at this?”

“No, not really. It’s like that girl is just someone I used to know. I don’t hate her or anything. She’s just not me.” It could have been different, he knows. He’s been lucky in a lot of ways. He could feel a lot worse than this persistent mental disconnect when he looks at old pictures of himself. But he doesn’t, and maybe that has something to do with Yancy—and now Mako—getting into his head and seeing him for who he really is.

“I am glad I get to know you now. But I wish you had told me you were a dancer,” Mako says with a mischievous smile. “Were you any good?”

“No, I was awful! At least as a sugarplum fairy. I kicked ass at the Russian dance, though.” He hadn’t realized back then how heavily gendered ballet was. The female parts were all grace and beauty, movements that required both phenomenal strength and the ability to make it all look effortless. The visible athleticism of the male roles always did suit him better. “I guess I’m lucky I was too tall to partner. They gave up and just let me dance the boy roles. It actually helped me figure some things out. But I still quit as soon as my mom would let me.”

“And never danced again?” Mako asks with mock-solemnity.

“Not quite. I’ve been known to Charleston.”

Mako laughs, but Raleigh’s not joking. He jumps up, feet hitting the floor like a bag of rocks—no, he never could have been a sugarplum fairy—and holds out a hand to her. The song ends and moves on to something else, something with a beat fast enough to dance to. Raleigh takes two steps toward her and two steps back, twisting to kick out his heels on each beat. Mako watches him long enough to catch the rhythm, then, still laughing, takes his hand and joins in.

Mako has a beautiful laugh, so he exaggerates his movements to make her do it more, elbows swinging, free hand up in the air like an old cartoon. Mako follows him through this dance, a century out of date, matching him beat for beat and laughing so hard she snorts and goes red in the face. It makes him want to grab his camera and get a picture.

But, hey, it’s not like they’re going anywhere. He has plenty of time for pictures. And he’ll have plenty of time with her.

[amateur-detectivedrew]