#kare partners

[natkhat-sa-shyam]

Date idea.

How amazing it would be when i buy books for her and she buys books for me.

And then we discuss about our shopping over a cup of chai.

आखिर में भी तो एक ऐसा पार्टनर deserve करता हूं जो मेरे लिए बुक्स खरीदे!

[respectthepetty]

My Beautiful (Colorful) Man

Over the course of two seasons and a movie, we have witnessed My Beautiful Man/Utsukushii Kare's Hira and Kiyoi be the most dedicated color-coded boys in love.

Hira is a Blue Boy. He is stable and sincere.

But above all else, he is loyal to his idol, Kiyoi. Obsessively so.

Because even though all of the world sees Kiyoi as an arrogant, sophisticated, and secretive Black Brooder

Hira sees him as a Heavenly Human.

To him, Kiyoi is a god who should be worshiped, so Hira always lowers himself as he believes he could never be equal to such an ethereal being.

But what Hira misses is that Kiyoi is not a god in all white, but a man devoid of color and love.

Hira worships Kiyoi, but Kiyoi just wants Hira to love him, not as a god, but as a man.

So when Hira finally shows Kiyoi that he not only worships him, but loves him, he finally gives Kiyoi some of his color.

And Kiyoi quickly picks it up since all he has ever wanted is for Hira to love him.

Because as much as Hira openly admires Kiyoi, Kiyoi loves Hira immensely more.

Kiyoi's entire world is Hira, and without him, Kiyoi's world would be colorless.

Which is why Kiyoi demands that Hira sees them as equals.

He knows Hira would never cross a line with him, so Kiyoi always crosses the line first, but it's to lift Hira up and make him understand that they both love each other and are both worthy of this love.

Because when this all began, Hira wouldn't even look Kiyoi in the eyes.

But slowly, Kiyoi continued lifting Hira up.

Until finally, Hira rose on his own to meet Kiyoi where he was instead of admiring him at a distance from below.

So even though on the outside, Kiyoi comes across as dark and guarded

When it comes to Hira, the Blue Boy who gave his world color,

Kiyoi really is heaven sent.

Hira gives Kiyoi the support and love he needs. Hira gives Kiyoi color.

And as a result, Kiyoi gives Hira confidence and purpose. Kiyoi gives Hira's life meaning.

Although Hira would gladly give up his life for Kiyoi,

Kiyoi would never let that happen because he needs Hira by his side just as much as his Blue Boy needs him.

At the core of their relationship is a Blue Boy whose love for Kiyoi is deeply rooted and firmly planted in his heart.

And a Heavenly Human whose love changed him from a boy devoid of love into a man with a devoted partner.

Even if Kiyoi has to be the one to cross the line first

Hira will always follow him without question.

Because they would be adrift without the other. They are equal in life and in love. They are both beautiful men whose world is made brighter by the love they have for each other.

Their love is eternal and not even the heavens could contain it.

Gross.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - April

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.04.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

I am happy about gif-requests 🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

Tracking: #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in April with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 25 Ju, Akasaka de 🇯🇵 (2/10)

They were fellow students and now they have to play in a BL together. One of them is two years older and popular. For the other one, this is his first big role and he needs it, so he is determined to to anything he needs to do, to be a good actor. Even when this means to find a partner and fall in love to be able to play the role perfectly. Why not try to be lovers with your co-star. All for the sake of the series of course.

2. Blue Boys 🇰🇷 (2/4)

This short series is quite good. I saw the first episode by chance and I was hooked, but lost it again, because I couldn't track it on MDL. Now it is up there. I hope these two can resolve their missunderstanding, with talking! But they are too hungry for each other...

3. Boys Be Brave! 🇰🇷 (2/8)

Enemies to lovers, but different. Jinwoo likes Kisub and Kisub knows this. But while Kisub gives his heart away to every person who hits on him and can't really say No to anyone, Jinwoo loves to build up his wall and hide behind a strong No. Their worlds collide, when Kisub moves in with Jinwoo, if he likes it or not. Great first episodes!

4. Cityboy_Log 🇰🇷 (12/?)

They are back and unhinged like before! Jihan and Jaejun met after a while because they were busy and it seems they had some catching up to do the night before. We get some daily vlogging, some cuteness and some jealousy, which wasn't that cute. But they are finally back and I am happy. The acting is still very good. There is no deeper story behind, just some idols, models and actors falling in love with each other and theit daily lifes.

5. Deep Night 🇹🇭 (3/8)

his is everything I was expecting, so it didn't disappoint, I guess. To be honest, I watch this for First. I guess he would have chemistry with a stick, soooo this is nice. And I hope the story, at least stays like this and won't get worse... Update: This show is a mess 😂 there is so much going on all at once and at the same time nothing really happens? It is so confusing, yet very entertaining. But Wela, my dear, it is totally okay to be pissed if one fucks with you, while you are so drunk you can't remember shit the next day... Just a thought.

6. Kare no Iru Seikatsu 🇯🇵 (3/8)

Kazuhito has no girlfriend and the ones he had, broke up with him, because they felt he likes someone else... Who might that be?... The story is simple, I guess? (But perhaps not that simple... The preview for ep 3 looks interesting.) Childhood friends are forced to move in together after spending time apart. One is a little bit naive and is trying to find out why girls breaking up with the most charming and handsome guy he knows and the latter is in love with the naive one and in the end they have their happy ending. I like it. I want to see their growth.

7. Love Is Like A Cat 🇰🇷 (10/12)

Who thought this was a good idea? Who wrote this? Who said cut at the end of scenes? Who thought this is be the way Mew should act? I cringe so hard and not in a funny way. This series is just bad. I keep watching because of this little bean. But I had to skip so many scenes in today's episodes, because it was just so bad! And I can't figure out if Mew just didn't want to be there and act or if that is the way the director wanted him to act... But the acting is bad. Bad choices everywhere. And the dialogues? Cringe... Why would a bean like Dae Byeol fall for Uno? Nope...

8. My Stand-In 🇹🇭 (1/12)

Okay, hear me out. I watch this for Poom and for Poom only. But the story lookes interesting, it was quite intriguing. I don't know why, but I cringed a bit too much at some scenes. But Poom is beautiful and that is all I care about. Yes, I can be this shallow!

9. Only Boo 🇹🇭 (4/12)

The cringe was so strong with this one this week! I had to pause multiple times, but at the same time I enjoyed it so much! Moo is so unhinged and I love him! But please! Don't let Moo's cousin become a possible love interest for Kang. I know we got this dream sequence this week, but there is something in the air between Shone and him... and I don't like it. The second couple... I felt really sad for them this week. Beeing in love with your best friend is never easy...

10. Unknown 🇹🇼 (12/12)

The story about found family, childhood trauma and struggling topped with a lovestory between "brothers". They aren't really brothers so I really don't care and just enjoy this forbidden and hurtful lovestory to the fullest. This is exactly what I hoped for! The longing, tension and hurting is so good! It is the aftermath of the shooting and Qian is still dealing with his emotions and his feelings for Yuan. The love between them is real and strong, but Qian is afraid and can't just let his heart decide over the head, yet. He loves Yuan, but is afraid what that means for them and especially for Yuan's future. And yet he held him back. He was the one reaching out in the end! I have said enough about them and this first part of ep 11 in my post. I love them. My heart belongs to them. I wish we had more developement between these two as a couple, but I still love them and I forgive this show the rush in the end, because I love it so much.

11. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu.

Finished in April

Series

My Strawberry Film 🇯🇵

This is what I call a love triangle. And the fact that the screenwriters worked for Eien No Kinou or Jack o'Frost promised some heartbreak and teenage angst. And they delivered. I really like this series. And I felt so many emotions, especially for Ryo. And I really loved the ending. No fake relationship and no unrealistic confessions, just some teenagers in love and being friends. And I think Hiraku was such a sweet friend in this last episode. He apologized and he finally recognized Ryo's feelings for him. And I believe they stay friends in the future. It might be difficult, but a good friendship is worth fighting for. It has so much to do with respect and love for each other. It is a solid 8 out of 10 for me.

Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto 🇯🇵

The story about highschool sweethearts, who didn't have the chance to enjoy their young love, because of horrible family backgrounds. Their story is devastating and I am happy they found their way back to each other. The story was good, the acting was good, I am in love with Furuya Robin, which is nice, and the side characters were special (shoutout to Yuto!). I wish there was more "passion" from Miyata, but I guess it is due to his character. Overall it was a good watch and I enjoyed it! A good 8 out of 10 for me.

Jazz For Two 🇰🇷

I love bls about music and about traumatic pasts. The second couple has my heart. I just love them coming together. Usually I hate this bully-trope, but with them, I kinda enjoyed it. Perhaps because Jooha always looked like a hurting puppy. Overall the homophobia in this one is strong and I think it is interesting to see them deal with their own feelings. Internal and external homophobia is such a big thing in all their stories and I wish they had more time to show the developement from hating themselves to loving the other person and themselves. But in my opinion they made a good story and a good show. I like it very much. And what was that kiss in the end? Wow! A good 9 out of 10 for.

To Be Continued 🇹🇭

I really like this one! I read some comments that the reason they never got together was just stupid, but from their perspective I can understand why they reacted how they reacted. They were young and unsure what to do and what all of this meant for them and their friendship. What I liked about the show was the present and past scenes. We learned so much about their past and the scenes fitted perfectly. It was a really good series and I am glad I waited to binge it. Guess I come back to this one from time to time. Rewatch value is there. And those two have really good chemistry! A good 9 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in April

We are 🇹🇭

I dropped this after the first half of the first episode. There are a few reasons for that. First, I need some shows to binge on lonely sundays. And second, I just don't feel like watching this one. It was so quirky for me. Not my kinf od humor right now.

Looking forward to in April

Love is like a cat - Trailer (Apr 1st)

We are - Trailer (Apr 3rd)

Memory in a letter - Trailer (Apr 6th)

Grey Shelter (Apr 11th)

Kare no Iru Seikatsu - Trailer (Apr 12th)

The Spirealm (Apr 15th)

Boys be brave! (Apr 25th)

25 Ji, Akasaka de (Apr 19th)

Kimi to Yukite Saku: Shinsengumi Seishunroku (Apr 25th)

My Stand-In - Trailer (Apr 26th)

Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024

Knock Knock, Boys - Trailer

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 Emotional Outbursts

See if no one else on this website has my back, I know Ben has my back because he is giving me a chance to talk about my boy Patts once more

TOP 5 EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF 2023

Patts, La Pluie

gif by the beautiful, marvelous @liyazaki

Episode 10 was just an absolute masterclass in emotional outbursts. The fight between Lomfon and Patts, then Patts and Tai, then Lomfon and Tien, then Patts and Tai again. Like goddamn, finally thank fuck, Patts is able to let out years worth of frustration and pain at Tai's silence was just so beautiful, and cathartic, and necessary. What an absolutely incredible moment to not only witness but experience. Patts has been so kind, so patient, so forgiving, and it was time for all the pain that he's been letting simmer for two years out. Good! For! Him!

Uea and His Bio Family, Bed Friend

There are few characters in this world I hate more than Uea's mother, and it was so so so so so so wonderful to see Uea finally give her a piece of his mind. I am so proud of him for speaking his mind, standing his ground, and getting the ever living fuck out of his bio family's house. Too personal, sorry, but this fight hit especially well for me because I too have had a parent say they'd live perfectly happily without me, and it was great vindication of my reaction to that to see Uea GTFO immediately after.

Secondarily, James' sobbing screams at the beginning of episode 4 and in the flashback of him getting dragged in to the bathroom when he was an adult have never left my brain. James absolutely crushed those scenes and this was going to be my Bed Friend pick before I remembered this fight exists.

Jim and Li Ming // Heart and His Parents, Moonlight Chicken

I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that Jim and Li Ming's relationship dynamics is one of my favorite of all time. Aof is such an incredible screenwriter/director and I feel like he's able to make such realistic depictions of families in all their complicated glory. The screaming match between Jim and Li Ming is SO good, and really is what solidified my appreciation for Fourth's acting skills because there was a fucking storm cloud on his brow. Happy fucking birthday to you Uncle Jim I guess. Poor fucker.

And then of course, one of the first ever posts I made in the BL Sphere of tumblr was a full essay on Heart's confrontation which I loved so motherfucking much. Once again a much needed fight with lots of interesting, complicated emotions flying around the room.

Kiyoi and Hira, Utsukushii Kare Season 2

gif by @itsallaboutbl

"I'm sorry that I like you" one of the best moments of the year for me by far. This fight between Kiyoi and Hira was desperately, and I mean desperately needed. I know changing will be a slow process for the two of them, and even in Eternal they are no where near where they need to be, but Hira needs/needed to cut this Pebble to a God bullshit out and I am so glad that Kiyoi was able to call him on it. Also from a performance standpoint, Yagi Yusei had his work cut out for him as a scene partner to Hagiwara who absolutely bodied his role as Hira. In season one Yagi did not need to do all that much for his performance because we didn't know as much about Kiyoi until closer to the end, but that cannot be the case for Season 2 and Yagi knocked it out of the motherfucking park.

Sunshine and Q, 7 Days Before Valentine

Okay, almost positive this isn't a BL but I love when people structure TV shows like stage plays, and there was a fight between Sunshine and Q in like Episode 4 or 5 where they were shouting over each other and it just felt so real and the dead silence that hit the room when Q said something that struck a chord with Sunshine was expertly handled, and some of the best work I've seen out of Atom the whole show. I don't think anyone gifed it so I can't put the scene in, but I think you talked about it in your Stray Thoughts @bengiyo

And just cause I wanna, the Top 5 Emotional Outbursts of the pre-2023 shows I watched this year:

In and Wang's fight in 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 8

Gav sobbing about his aunt in Gameboys (the movie, i think?)

Pran sobbing in to Pat's shoulder in Bad Buddy, Ep 10

Tarn's fight with Teh in I Told Sunset About You, Ep 4 (shout out to Smile there because I still cannot believe it was the first thing she filmed on set)

Shiro being terrified Kenji was dying and Kenji being worried Shiro was dying and the resulting clownery from them blurting that out in What Did You Eat Yesterday? I think it was the New Year's special.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[dawnthefox24]

Cole: *Is flirting with Hanzo*We should be partners~ Hanzo: You mean like, partners in crime? Cole: *dies on the inside and wants too cry*Yeah… that’s precisely what I meant. ~after the mission~ Genji: Anjia you know he was flirting with you right? Hanzo:... Hanzo: *realises that Cole was flirting with him* H-He was? Genji: *takes in a deep breath before trying very hard not too laugh* Anata wa monogoto o bunmyaku kara mushi suru keikō ga aru koto o kare ni tsutaeru no o wasuremashita (I forgot to tell him that you tend too take things out of context)

[negrowhat]

do you have any bl recs for a celebrityxnormal person? i've watched be mine superstar and want more of the same vibe but i cannot seem to find any, thank you!! x

Hello Anon! I absolutely have a few recs for you! I hope you don't mind venturing out of the Thai BL realm for a bit. These 3 are actually some of my faves. Top 10.

To My Star. TMS is a Korean BL. It's centered around famous actor Kang Seo Joon and local chef Han Ji Woo. Seo Joon gets caught in the middle of a scandal and has to lay low so his manager makes him move in with Ji Woo who coincidentally lives in the apartment building he owns and rents out. Seo Joon is very charismatic and outspoken and Ji Woo is very reserved and set in his ways. As they live together and work together, they get closer and closer to each other. There are 2 seasons of To My Star and s2 shows a lot more of Seo Joon's celebrity presence because he's not hiding out and waiting for the scandal to pass anymore. You can watch it on VIKI.

Utsukushii Kare aka My Beautiful Man. Utsukushii Kare is a Japanese BL. It doesn't quite start off as Celebrity x Regular Guy but it becomes that. Hira is a quiet anti-social guy who doesn't really have much interest in anything at all until he sees Kiyoi who is the most beautiful person he's ever seen in his life. Kiyoi is the school's most popular guy, people hang around him to gain something and he's fine with it because he likes the attention. Kiyoi has aspirations of being famous. He eventually becomes a model and then an actor while Hira goes to Uni. Kiyoi gets his big break as an actor and Hira is right by his side. The problem is Hira doesn't think enough of himself and Kiyoi thinks the entire world of him. There are 2 seasons and a movie for Utsukushii Kare. It's available on VIKI and Gagaoolala.

Lovely Writer. This one is a Thai BL. This series is about a up and coming, but low profile fantasy author Gene who got his start by writing a BL novel. That novel is being turned into a BL series. Enter our other main Nubsib who will be starring in the drama. They ask Gene to be on site while filming to offer character insight but he wants no parts of it and really is against his novel even being made into a series. He's not proud of his tropey and toxic novel. Anyways, Nubsib shows immediate interest in Gene who just wants to remain unseen and unheard. Nubsib wants to be everywhere Gene is. He's super taken with him and he thinks he's super cute and maybe he knows Gene better than he's letting on. They must juggle their growing feelings while also dealing with the media, Gene writing his new BL novel, and super fans who ship Nubsib with his onscreen partner Aoey.

[13as07]

Patience #4.5

(Jiraiya Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Kare-Chikin]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 4,703

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

You know the deal by now; Part four from Pervy Sage's POV

Also super long like most of my Jiraiya POVs

Titty Fondling

Nick Names: Sensei, Little One, Sweet Thing, Princess, Obedient Girl, Kitten, Sweetheart

Masturbating

Power Difference (Teacher/Student)

Nude/Sexual Modeling/Pictures

Oral (Female Receiving)

Hair Pulling

Overstimulation

Cock Warming

———————————————————————

     I feel like I'm walking on air as I exit Tsunade's office. My new book passed its proofreading, which leaves nothing but the illustrations to do and my lovely ex-squad mate gave both me and my kunoichi 'a reasonable amount' of time off so I can work on it. Nothing but my house, my student, and me... and the six hundred and forty or so panels I need to illustrate, send out, and get approved.

     It doesn't take long for my student to fall into my sights, the beautiful girl waiting for me a few paces away from the office. "Little One," I say, quickly settling behind her. She looks gorgeous today. She looks gorgeous every day, but the sun filtering through the windows makes her features stand out more than usual.

     "Guess what?" I mutter, slightly giving in to my wants. The sun showering on her and the promise of a lot of alone time has my groin tumbling. I toy with the hem of her shirt, quickly passing it, my fingers crawling up the skin of her sides.

It doesn't take long for my hands to cup my Princess's breasts. They're warm and soft and melt through my fingers like butter. How'd I get a partner so perfect? So pretty? So damn addictive?

It also doesn't take long for the material of her bra to upset me. I want to feel her skin on mine. I run my thumbs over the edge of her bra, debating how likely Tsunade would take away my time off if she found me fiddling with my Sweet Thing's chest right outside her office. I decide I don't care very much, letting my fingertips slide down, cupping her bare breasts.

"What?" My Little One mutters, her breath heavy as I mess with her. I shift my hands on her, sliding my thumbs over her nipples, encouraging them to perk up.

My excitement only grows as I watch my Princess's eyes flickering around the hallway. No matter how many times or how many places I mess with her, she's always so anxious about getting caught. It's adorable.

I tilt my head down, resting it against hers, my lips pressed against her ear as I speak. "Tsunade agreed to give me some time off so I can work on my concept sketches for my new book." I catch my Sweetheart's earlobe between my teeth, softly biting it once my words are out. I focus on her body, pinching her nipples when I bite down on her ear and then softly twisting them when I relax my jaw. Her breath picking up doesn't help my swallow professionalism. It encourages my thoughts of pushing her against the wall and enjoying her sweetness.

"Oh, that's good," my kunoichi whispers, the sound of people down the hallway almost drowning out her voice. Her hands cling to my arms, trying to shove them off.

     I tug my hands out of her bra, adjusting the material before clinging to her hip bones. "Yes it is, Sweet Thing, and you, Princess, are going to help your Sensei," I tell her, herding her down the hallway as I start pulling up her dress. Maybe a quickie in a supply closet won't be too bad.

     "How am I going to do that?" My Little One asks, leaning her weight against me.

     "Well, you're the muse for my book so why not be the muse for the artwork as well?" I counter, enjoying the way her cheeks redden the higher I pull her dress up.

     "What?" She mutters, leaning her head back to look at me.

     "Don't worry about it, Little One. Just know you're going to be my pretty little model." The thought of my student modeling nude makes blood rush to my penis. I grind my growing boner against her ass, deciding a quickie is the way to go.

                       ————————————

     My naked Princess clings to me, squirming in my hold as her nails dig into my shoulders. "Sensei, I can't," she whimpers, squirming against me more.

     This is going to be a long and hard battle to stay focused on my task. "Yes, you can," I encourage her, wiggling my fingers under hers so I can undo her hold on me. "I've seen you naked before, I've seen you in the shower before, I've gotten you off in the shower before. How is this any different?" I ask, placing her in the bathtub, my eyes jumping over her nudity.

     She's so cute, thighs rubbing together and cheeks a soft pink as she looks up at me. "Because you're watching me get myself off," my Sweetheart whines, standing on her tippy toes to grab at my shoulders again.

     "I have before. I watched you use a shower head to get off and then watched you hump a pillow. The only difference is I'm going to sketch it this time," I remind her, catching her wrists before she has the chance to get a grip on me again. My hand looks good wrapped around both of her wrists, reminding me how much bigger Mr frame is compared to her.

     "Sensei," my Sweet Thing whines again, wiggling her arms around to try and get her hands free as I turn the water on.

     I tighten my grip, shifting her forward before I rest my face against hers, our eyes locked as I speak. "Sweetheart, we have three options. One, I pay a model to act out your little sins so I can do my concept art. Two, you can be an Obedient Girl and act out the scenes again while I sketch. Or three, you act out the scenes and I take photos to refer to. The choice is yours."

     I hope she chooses option three. My poor Princess wouldn't be able to stand being in the same position long enough for me to do a sketch, let alone mess with herself for that long. Though as long as she doesn't pick option one I'll be fine. I want to draw her, not some other woman.

     "Option two."

     I let go of her wrists before bending down to kiss her. "There's my Obedient Girl. Now, you get all wet and soaped up while I go get my pencils and sketchbook," I tell her, starting to work myself up. Maybe it wasn't the smartest option to have my Sweetheart model for me.

     I shake the thought out of my head, turning the shower on before I turn away. As I leave the room, a whimper and the shower curtain closing fill my previous space.

     I hurry around my office, collecting my things as fast as I can before returning to the bathroom. When I snap the curtain back open, my blood rushes so fast that I'm a tad worried I'm going to pass out. I rest my sketch pad and pencil case on the sink before turning my attention back to my pretty kunoichi. "Let's fix your position, Princess," I whisper, slowly moving my hands to position her how I remember her looking during the not-so-long-ago accidental peep show I had. "See? Perfect, and so sexy, Little One," I compliment when she's in place.

After a beat or two, I pull away from her, using the toilet lid as a makeshift seat. Once my pad is in my grasp, it becomes easier to focus on the task at hand. I sketch out a quick outline, eyes jumping around to start laying out some simple details.

"Jiraiya," my Little One whines, her eyes swimming in arousal, big and round and already ready to burst with her first orgasm. She isn't going to survive this.

"Sweet Thing?" I whisper, my focus caught on her pussy. I could say screw it and fuck her against the shower wall, try my best to sketch the situation from memory.

"How long is this going to take you?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart," I whisper, trying - and failing - to keep my mind where it needs to be. I need my sketches, I need to finish them semi-soon, I need to send them out, I need to finish my book. "The whole detailed sketch will probably take thirty to forty hours but right now I'm just doing a rough outline. That'll take an hour or two," I ramble, snapping my eyes closed to see if that'll help; it doesn't.

"I can't," my Princess whines, making my eyes snap back open. "Two hours?! I can't do that. Sensei." My title comes out as a moan, my Little One's orgasm spilling over.

"Princess," I whisper, my eyes trailing the path of her cum mixing with the water and soap of her shower. "I gave you options," I remind her, sinking to my knees next to the shower, and using my pencil to spread her legs apart further. For research, only research, and not because I like how wet and gushy my kunoichi's pussy gets when she cums. "We can do option three if you prefer," I mutter, dropping my pencil to the ground before wrapping my hand around her thighs, and tugging her legs further apart.

A little taste won't hurt. It'll help even, I'm willing to bet. If I have the fresh taste of my Sweetheart on my tongue it'll help me sketch her better. Or, at least that's what I'm going to use to justify disregarding my work.

I tug my Sweet Thing's leg up, resting it on my shoulder, spreading her open even wider. My free hand wraps around the one she's using to hold the shower head, keeping it put to encourage a second orgasm to spill out and drip onto my tongue.

"Jiraiya," she whimpers, taking a fistful of my hair. My tongue slides past my lips, eagerly sliding across the delicious mess on her legs. I let out a hum, eyes bouncing up for a second to make sure the water streams are still aimed toward her clit. "I don't... what if... my photos get out?" My Sweetheart stumbles out, leaning her weight against the shower wall. That's another pretty sight, maybe I'll add that one to my book too. But, for now, I need to focus on making her feel safe. My book can wait.

I move forward, helping her lean against the wall easier as I slide my tongue into her pussy a few times. "I'd never let that happen, Sweetheart. Whatever needs to happen for you to feel safe, I'll make happen. You can keep them, you can be around when I need them for my sketches, we can get a lock box for them, you can have the only key to the box, whatever you want," I coo between more dips of my tongue. I swear I could live off her pussy and her pussy only.

Nails dig into my scalp, heavy breathing and small noises spilling out between my Sweet Thing's words. "Oh... okay... ya... that... that seems okay." She comes undone again, fresh and warm juices spilling onto my tongue. My eyes flicker up as I flatten my tongue against her cunt, trying to slurp up as much as I can before the shower water washes it away. "Sensei, I can't... I can't take anymore. Please?" She mutters, nails no longer scratching me, but her hand does ball up my hair, tugging my head away.

I give in, letting my Little One pull me away from her pussy. "Whatever you want, Princess," I mumble, my eyes jumping around her form. Her chest is pumping a mile a minute, her legs threatening to shake, and her eyes soft and ready to burst into tears any second now. "Do you think you can hold on long enough for me to take some pictures? Are you going to be okay with that? Can Sensei take pictures of your pretty cunt?" I ask, forcing the shower streams to move up and down, giving her sensitive clit a small break.

Her head shakes rapidly, my Princess's legs fully shaking now. Dear Lord, her pussy is so wet and warm and inviting. I could just fuck her, watch the tears roll down her cheeks as she babbles about wanting more but wanting me to stop... but I have work to do.

I slowly climb to my feet, taking a second to kiss my Sweetheart. "What an Obedient Girl. You're so good to me. You keep this right here," I order, running the streams down her pussy once more before situating it against her clit again.

"Yes, Sensei," She mumbles, pulling a silent laugh from me. I peck her lips again, taking my time with the kiss before I pull away.

I tear through my office again, in search of my camera. The whole time my dick pulses almost painfully. Lord, I should fuck my Little One, I should fill her trembling pussy with my cum, I should do my work. Right, work. That's why we're in this situation, because of my book, my work.

Once my camera is found, I dart back into the bathroom, being met with a crying Sweetheart. Her legs look ready to give out, tears spilling down her cheek with just as much cum and water spilling down her thighs. "Sensei," she whines, causing me to lunge forward. I press my lips against hers again. When I pull back, I snap a picture of her messy face. I think that'll be the cover photo for my book.

When the picture prints out, I eagerly shake it, excited to see how pretty my Princess looks in her photo. Once I'm done looking over the photo, I settle it on the bathroom sink. "Just a couple of photos, Sweetheart," I tell her, gently situating her back into her original position.

After My Sweet Thing is situated, I pace backward, snapping a string of pictures. Once I'm sure I have every possible position, I decide I want her back how she was before I left. She looked hot like that too. "Alright against the wall again, Princess," I mumble, helping her shift back into place. "Just like that. You're such a pretty model. Who's Sensei's pretty model?" I ask, taking more pictures from different angles, even going far enough to adjust her position a time or two.

By the time I'm satisfied with the range of photos, my Sweetheart is a trembling mess from a mix of the chilled air running across her wet body and the overuse of her pretty cunt. What a poor Little One. "You did so good," I praise, setting the camera down next to the stack of photos I've collected.

I take the shower head out from her shaky fingers, putting it back in its place before turning the water off. "Let's get you warmed up," I say, wrapping my kunoichi in a fluffy towel, and rubbing it up and down her sides to help her warm up. "And get my pretty model a warm drink and some kisses and maybe a nap," I continue to coo, peppering kisses across her nose.

Her hands shoot forward, digging her nails into my shoulders as she clings to me. "And then you'll fuck me?" My Princess asks, a huge smile on her face despite the tears still rolling over her cheeks.

"Yes, Sweet Thing. Then I'm fucking you," I laugh, picking her up and looping her legs around me. I swear my student would live on my cock if I'd let her.

                       ————————————

     "Sensei?" My Sweetheart's voice rings out, tugging my attention away from the art piece I've been working on.

"Sweetheart?" I mutter, a smile already tugging at the corners of my mouth. She's been so patient, so sweet, so perfect over the past couple of weeks. I've been drowning in work, trying to get at least a handful of sketches finished to send to my editor. That's left me in my office almost all day most days. "Come here, Princess. Sensei wants to hold you," I mutter, craving the feeling of having her in my arms.

My Little One comes racing towards me, footsteps careful as she makes it through the maze of a floor my office is at the moment. It feels like all my stress and tension melts when she settles into my lap, a soft sigh escaping my lips once the weight of her is pressed into me. My student's eyes skirt over my desk, eyeing my recent sketch.

I rest my head against her neck, wrapping my arms around her to feel more of my Little One's body against me. "Do you like it?" I ask, a bit worried she won't enjoy the picture. The photo is very much her, based on her, everything of her, but I have made changes.

"It looks cool. My hair is sketched a lot longer and my thighs are puffier. My skin tone is a bit darker too." Changed she has noticed apparently.

"You're the muse for my book and for the art of that book. That doesn't mean I want people to see you in those ways. Making small adjustments to the artwork makes it a little more the character and a little less you," I explain, shifting my head so I can brush my lips across her jaw.

It's a truthful answer, she is everything in my new book. On the other hand, I would go ballistic if people figured out it was my Sweetheart that I was writing about, that I was drawing, if people saw her in those ways, thought about her in those ways.

There's a tear in my jealousy, a dribble of worry that my Sweet Thing is taking the changes in the wrong way. "It doesn't mean I want your hair longer or your thighs thicker or your skin darker. You're perfect as is, Little One," I mumble, shifting her head so I kiss along the other side of her head.

"Promise?" She whispers, squirming in my lap.

"Promise," I echo, pressing her to my chest so she'll calm down a bit. My focus shifts to searching for my pile of art, wanting my Little One to look them over. I should give her back the photos I'm done with too. "I'm done with those ones. Destroy them if you want or I can get you a lockbox next time I leave the house like I said I would," I tell her, giving my kunoichi a few options as I place the photos into her grasp.

My Sweetheart shoves her photos into her pocket, attention on my hands flipping my folder open. "I'll probably destroy them. What's in the folder?"

I carefully lay out the finished art, worried about messing them up. "These are the pieces I've finished. I've done two or three versions of each one so there are options," I tell her, cuddling her in my hold again. I love it when I get to hold her like this, get to smell her, get to feel the warmth of her body. I could die a happy man in this situation.

My eyes trail over her face, watching her reactions to them. "After I finish the piece I'm working on now, I'll send out whatever ones you approve," I tell her, squeezing my student, continuing to enjoy the feel of her against me.

Princess's head tilts back, eyebrows pressed together as she looks at me. "Whatever ones I approve?"

"Ya," I mutter, a little confused. Of course I'd ask her permission before I sent out any of my art. Again, they don't look like her but they are her. "I might have changed them up so you're not recognizable but it's you at the core. If you don't like one or aren't comfortable with one or simply don't want it published then I won't send it in," I explain, shifting my position in hopes it'll help the anger I'm feeling, at the situation, not at my Sweet Thing.

She leans against me, eyes still scanning the artwork. "That's very thoughtful of you," my Sweetheart mutters, meaning it nicely but pissing me off even more.

What kind of people has my student been with before me? Why wouldn't she expect to have a say? To have a right to decide what can and can't be published? "It's my job to make you feel safe, Little One. It's not thoughtful, it should be expected," I mutter, pressing my lips against her neck, trying to use it to calm myself down. It doesn't matter, it's not her fault, I'm taking care of her now and that's all that counts.

"I still appreciate it," my Princess mutters, squirming in my lap again so she can get a better look at the art.

                       ————————————

     I shift in my spot again, careful not to wake up my Sweetheart as I move. I've needed to pee for an hour now and I don't think I can keep putting it off, but I don't want to wake her. I already stirred her awake when I took my shirt off.

Carefully, I wrap my arms around her, moving slowly as I lift her. "Jiraiya?" She yelps, panic in her voice as she grips my hair.

My head is snapped to the side because of my Princess's grasp. "Sorry, Sweetheart, I was trying not to wake you. That didn't work out. I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back," I shortly explain, eyes scanning her face, watching the panic melt away to contentment. Reluctantly, I set her down, pressing my lips to her forehead before pulling away.

I take my time going to the bathroom, walking slowly, and stretching my muscles during my little break. When I re-enter my study, the thought of this being a longer break is burned into my head.

Sweetheart is sitting on my desk, her almost bare back facing me, sitting in nothing but her underwear. Maybe a long break wouldn't hurt, but I'm almost done with my sketch. If I give in now, the rest of the night will be spent having sex and not working. We're going to wait, just long enough for me to finish.

"I have work to do, Sweet Thing," I mutter, slowly walking through the room, towards my temptress of a student. "I need to finish and send out my concepts." When I get to my desk, I let my arms snake around her body, feathering my fingers over her covered pussy.

Princess's legs fall open, her back leaning into my chest, and her head lying on my shoulder. What a pretty Obedient Girl I have, so eager to be pleased, so willing to give me her body. "So? It wouldn't hurt to take a break," she tempts, trying to chip away at my decision.

My arms tighten around her, leaving her pressed against my body as I lift her off the desk, starting the short walk back to my chair. "I have work to do. You have to wait, Little One." My unwillingness to cave gets me a spoiled princess acting like dead weight and a pitched whine.

I settle back in my chair, my Little One's hips instantly going into action, grinding against my growing boner. "Please? Just a quickie," she tried again, trying to pull my hand towards her cunt.

It's probably not the best choice, but I do give my kunoichi a bit of relief, rubbing circles into her clit. "Have some patience, Princess," I order, keeping my fingers light as I shift most of my attention back to the drawing I've been working on the last few days.

Little One grips my arms, nails digging into me for the hundredth time as she whines into my shoulder. I swear I'm more scratch marks than skin at this point. Again, her legs widen, openly putting her growingly slick panties on display for me, only a glance away. What an obedient girl I have. "Jiraiya?" She whines, nails deeper into my skin now. Maybe she's more needy than obedient.

"Sweetheart, you can't stay in here if you're going to be noisy. I'm trying to focus," I tease, giving into her neediness by adding just a tad more pressure and moving my fingertips faster.

"Jiraiya!" She whines again, threatening to break the skin of my arms.

I let out a sigh, knowing if I don't give in just a bit, I won't get any work done or my dick wet. What a needy sex-driven student I have. "Stand up, Sweet Thing," I order, burying my hand into her hair and using it to force her to her feet.

I keep her in place, enjoying the view of her ass as I tug my dick out. If she's so eager to be filled, then who am I to deny her? Once I'm free, I fix my hold on her hair, ready to tug her back into place. "Turn around."

My Obedient Girl is well, obedient, turning around to face me. Her eyes are stuck in my dick, mouth almost watering as she looks at it. "Jiraiya, please?" Sweetheart whines, thighs rubbing together as the rest of her almost vibrates with want.

     "I already told you, have some patience, Little One. For now, come warm your Sensei's cock," I order, letting her go and spreading my legs wider so she can situate herself.

     She does just that, crawling into my lap after dropping her panties on the floor. "Sensei," Princess whines, wiggling my tip into her pussy before letting herself tumble down the rest of my dick.

     Before I have the chance to stop her, my student starts riding me, fucking herself on my cock. I grin at her, settling myself into a more relaxed position, happily watching her bounce like the hormonal bunny she seems to be. "Look at you. Princesses don't act like this. What are you acting like Little One?" I tease, annoying the way her pussy squeezes me because of the soft degrading.

     Like usual, her hands shoot forward, gripping my locks and using them to help herself bounce faster. "I... I don't... know," my Sweetheart whines, her eyes as desperate as her movements, so eager to have me fill her pussy before I make her sit still.

     I tilt my head, pressing a kiss or two against her wrist before I continue mocking her. "You're acting like a desperate kitten in heat but Sensei asked you to be a little cock warmer. Be an Obedient Girl for your Sensei." I grip her hips, forcing her movements to stop and in turn, denying myself the orgasm that was threatening to burst and fill her.

     My unhappy girl yanks on my hair, whines and whimpers spilling from her because of my no. "Sensei, please? I want sex," Princess whines, squirming and failing to get out of my hold.

     I tilt my head again, this time forward so I can kiss her between my words. "And I need to finish my work. Show Sensei those pretty patience we've been working on. If you're good, I'll spend the rest of the night pleasing you, Sweetheart." It's not fair of me and I know that. She's been patient the last two weeks, letting me work, modeling so pretty for me, but I need to finish my work.

     "Promise?" She whispers, giving into my orders and stilling herself.

     "Promise," I repeat, moving us forward and littering her shoulders in kisses. My student's hands fall from my hair to my shoulders, head buried into my neck as she sighs. "There's my Obedient Girl," I praise, adjusting us so I can continue to work, purposely shifting my dick buried in her soaking pussy to tease her.

     She tightens around me, more babbled whines slipping past her lips. "Hush, Little One. Sensei is trying to work," I continue to mock, tilting us back a bit so I can thrust my hips up, making her bounce on my cock.

     Pressure is added to her fingers, nails present against my skin again and legs tightening around me because of my soft teasing. "Jiraiya?"

     "Patience, Sweetheart," I remind her, fully planning to test her patience as I finish my work. Maybe I'm not as nice to her as I thought.

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[lurkingshan]

Top 5 BL characters you wanted to hug and send to therapy?

Ooh good one, thank you for sending! Caveat that I think just about everyone can benefit from therapy, including every character in bl. So for this list I’m sticking with 1) characters I genuinely like; 2) who could clearly use a little more support. Here are the five I most want to give a big old hug and then sit them down on the therapist's couch:

Han Baram, Sing My Crush

Baby boy, I am very glad you found your Im Hantae and your voice again but I still think getting some support to unpack some of the damage that evil man did to you is a good idea.

Uea, Bed Friend

Do I need to explain this one? As @bengiyo says, dick is not magical and it cannot fix you. Uea, please enlist the help of a licensed professional to work through those mountains of trauma.

Kiyoi, Utsukushii Kare

I am honestly so proud of you already my guy, you have grown leaps and bounds in your ability to communicate with your partner. That said, you have plenty of your own shit still to work through and Hira is a real next level psychological minefield, so you definitely need help.

Tien, La Pluie

Who takes care of the caretaker? Certainly not any of the self-centered assholes you have surrounded yourself with, baby bro. You deserve someone who will actually pay attention to you.

Gun and Cher, A Boss and A Babe

These two get a two-for-one deal, straight into couples counseling so they can learn how to tackle things as a team rather than running their own schemes for the others' benefit without communicating.

Bonus: Jae Won, The Eighth Sense

I know he is already in therapy but it is very important that he continues and I just want to make that crystal clear. If we ever get that rumored season two I better see you at that office looking through the fishbowl lens every week.

Ask my top 5 anything in bl

[mono-recom]

Even if God punishes me, I still love you~ I can't escape from his distorted passion~

Title: tenbatsu ga kudatte mo kimigasuki 〜 kare no ibitsuna netsujō kara nige rarenai 〜 | 即使降下天罚我依然爱着你～无法逃离他那扭曲的热情~ | 天罰が下っても君が好き〜彼の歪な熱情から逃げられない〜 Artist: Nocori Tags: Yandere, Obsessive Category: Manga, Oneshot Warnings⚠️: Rape, Dub-con

Summary: [ The god suddenly fell into my hands. ] Asuha, the only daughter of the shrine, and Daikichi, who has a crush on her. For Asuha, Daikichi was "a close friend," so she overlooked his appeal. One day, Asuha panics when she hears the marriage and birth announcements around her. Partly because of the pressure from his parents who wanted him to succeed him, she casually registered for the matching app. However, when Daikichi heard about it, he got into a fight ... "If there is a fait accompli... will you see me as your marriage partner?" What is the fate of the two who are repainted with intense passion?

Read online: Link

[wwrenwrites]

Jason Todd x Filipino! reader headcanons

A/n: i don’t care if this will be my most flopped post, I had to do God’s work

He would LOVE Filipino food

Jason is pretty open with food considering he has traveled frequently for work.

Being accustomed to seeing rice available even if it’s high in carbs lol. Started as a pancit (stir fried noodles) boy to a BIG garlic rice boy ever since you’ve introduced him to it.

Could see him really liking champorado (chocolate rice porridge) for some reason, since there is something so homey about it. Plus it’s not that sweet. He definitely have tried it with tuyo (salted dried fish) when you mentioned it but prefers it just the champorado alone.

Jason enjoys Jollibee most specifically the fried chicken, both of you have movie nights with a bucket on the coffee table with pineapple juice or alcohol. Would find Filipino spaghetti ‘meh’ cause it’s a bit too sweet for his liking but he wouldn’t mind it after a few more tries since there’s that child-like taste that makes it addicting.

Would 100% love lumpiang shanghai (Filipino spring rolls) and quotes as he explains it to Roy or any of his brothers ‘a way better version of Chinese spring rolls’, just like how you told him. He stops craving for the usual spring rolls if you guys go for Chinese take outs from then on.

Despite what the media depicts of having adobo (soy sauce & vinegar chicken stew), sinigang (tamarind stew) or ube hyped. He does think Filipino food is still very underrated compared to Thai, Chinese, Japanese etc.

Could also see him enjoying clear soup stews like pork sinigang & bulalo (clear soup with beef shanks & bone marrow) because of the homey taste versus the flavored stews but he definitely still enjoys them (also see him being a big kare- kare (peanut butter stew) lover by your influence.

Like every other man, he would be a sucker for San Miguel beer. He knew about it even before both of you were dating since there is a small Filipino town in Gotham. Considering he goes to different bars from time to time. He would enjoy the concept of food on sizzling plate but it would take time for him to actually try exotic street food specially Balut (duck embryo) lol. But he’s down for it!

Spicy White Boy

Canon- wise, he knows Portuguese and there are lots of similar words with Spanish. Which I’m sure he knows maybe the most basic and common sense ones; so Jason understanding a good amount of Tagalog shouldn’t be surprising but would baffle you when you find out he started learning bit by bit for you.

It is very impressive indeed, there are not a lot of good resources in studying it. However, Jason is a Wayne and if his father was able to learn Kryptonian. He would easily be in a level of fluency by time.

And being the intelligent simp he is. He would understand it in a good level in less than a year or two when both of you are pretty much ‘all in’ in the relationship. Especially when you brought up one time before you were both exclusive, that you were scared of the idea of your partner being left out in family events even if English is pretty much the second main language in the Philippines.

Though I feel he would have more confidence in trying to speak the language after a few more years including a few slangs cause he doesn’t want to handle the anxiety of being roasted by your family & friends even if he obviously has thick-ass skin.

You keep telling him that he has already won his parents approval (too fast) when he swoon them with just the use of ‘po’ and ‘opo’ the first time meeting them. Plus the very occasional whispers of ‘gwapo’ , handsome, or ‘matangkad’, tall, here and there would give him a mix of a sheepish ego boost.

Culture Differences

THE ‘NO SHOES IN THE HOUSE’ RULE is a mutual practice that both of you have no problem doing. It has always been a routine for Jason when he gets home and right away he would wash up just so he could be in bed with you.

The no shoes rule seems to be only followed by Alfred when he drops by with groceries for him in his apartment. It bewilders his siblings when he makes a big deal out of it even if they are just dropping by (uninvited as usual) but also more like so you wouldn’t get triggered if you get to meet them but frankly it triggers Jason more since he’s quite neat as a roomie (plus future hubby points too.)

THE FAMILY CULTURE in a Filipino household is usually a mix of chaos and laughter which Jason is quite familiar with but with your family he could tell how close all of you are from all the frequent get together celebrations or holiday trips.

But also he was told a few times from some neighborhood titos (uncle) when he was still in the streets that the number 1 rule when dating a pinoy (shortened term for Filipino) is if you’re ‘dating a Filipino you’re also dating their whole family.’ You even tell him when you show pictures of your immediate relatives and family, that it’s basically a whole village if you include your extended relatives which shocks him even more. You don’t even know who are all your aunts or uncles names nor your second cousins.

You gave him a heads up and number of pointers to Jason when you were both talking about your families plus the never ending group pictures and selfies that awaits. You get worried if he would be overwhelmed even if he tells you, “Doll, don’t worry you literally met mine” “It’s not the same.” With a kiss on your forehead and the cute pout he loves still present.

He immediately gets interrogated and compliments which takes him a back getting him a bit shy. Would vibe with your cousins and would be forced to sing. The karaoke machine playing till midnight, the never ending food being offered in his plate but also your baby cousins getting attached to him which you greatly adore. He would purposely annoy you with flirty gestures in front of your cousins just for you to swat his arm or his biceps multiple times getting a reaction from your comments mixed of ‘yiee’ or ‘landi!’(flirt).

SOUVENIRS in Filipino is pasalubong, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re materialistic it’s more of the thought when a person is away; may it be for family & friends.

Jason bringing home food or snacks when he goes out or something unique when coming from a long mission for you has been natural. You don’t expect him to always bring something home for you of course. Fortunately, Jason loves spoiling you and seeing you sulk when you rummage his duffle bag filled with used clothes and is helmet is too cute. Plus, this is definitely one of the first words he would understand besides the word ‘makulit’ (a neutral connotation of annoying, cheeky, and naughty combined.) and other cuss words.

The first time Jason brings you to the Wayne manor Alfred and Bruce immediately doesn’t see you as a threat especially with a bottle of wine or fruits as formalities. You panic a bit when both of you weren’t able to bring anything to the manor every time you go after that, he has to reassure you it’s fine. Though he appreciates and finds it adorable on how much his family becomes fond of you because of how genuine you are.

When you and Jason travel, you would be having an extra luggage for goodies and shopping and would get endless teasing from Jason. You would tease him back though if he needs something but you would also use his luggage as well if needed for everything you bought.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

paradoxical roles; or, I think I finally figured out the pursuer-distancer dynamic in Utsukushii Kare

I was stewing about the pursuer/distancer thing and how it applied or didn’t apply to Utsukushii Kare for more than a week before I wrote my last post and then as soon as it was up, talking in the comments with @ltrllynbdy and @corollahoist got me thinking about it in a very different way. I don’t want to write any checks my butt can’t cash, but I think maybe I’ve sort of cracked it? First, I want to harken back to some stuff from my first post on pursuer-distancer dyads in BL. These ideas are more fleshed out in the post but I’ll quickly summarize here.

In Harriet Lerner’s writing on the subject, she says that pursuers and distancers respond to stress in different ways. Pursuers respond by seeking more closeness in their relationship/s while distancers respond by “seeking emotional distance or physical space.”

I put it this way in my earlier post:

Lerner sees [these roles] as a sort of unspoken deal that we make with people we’re close to because deep down, we want to avoid acknowledging certain needs and the emotions that come with them. It’s a fairly universal thing that human beings both crave intimacy and fear it. But this is hard to acknowledge. It’s tempting to disavow either our need for closeness or our need for independence....Distancers can convince themselves that they don’t have a need for closeness because their pursuer is holding all of the neediness for them. Pursuers can convince themselves they don’t have any desire to avoid intimacy because their distancer will hold that for them.

So, this is the prototypical pursuer/distancer situation. And it’s complicated enough as it is! Plenty of paradoxical stuff happens in that model. But I think with Hira and Kiyoi we’re looking at an additional layer of stuff that makes the picture significantly more complicated.

Usually, when roles get polarized in a relationship around pursuing and distancing, each partner is either trying to avoid acknowledging either 1) their need for separateness or 2) their need for closeness. If they’re avoiding 1, they usually pursue, and if they’re avoiding 2, they usually distance. In both cases, they’re pretty aware that they’re pursuing or distancing; they’re likely to think of it differently but they more or less understand. For example, a pursuer might say, “I’m always trying to get my partner to talk to me about their feelings, but they refuse most of the time,” or “I always have to be the one to make opportunities for us to spend time together.” A distancer might say something like, ‘My partner is always hounding me to talk about my feelings, it’s too much,” or “My partner is always complaining that we don’t have enough ‘quality time,’ but their expectations are too high.” The needs they don’t want to admit they have are hard for them to admit to, but their behavior mostly isn’t.

Hira and Kiyoi are each avoiding one side or the other of this set of polarized terms. But they’re engaging in behaviors that don’t match the needs they seek to avoid. What they’re avoiding doesn’t match up with whether they are pursuing or distancing. And unlike typical pursuers and distancers, they don’t want to admit to themselves that they’re behaving in the ways they are (more of a Hira thing), or if they do admit it, they feel strongly that they shouldn’t have to behave this way (more of a Kiyoi thing). In addition to being in denial about their needs, they’re often in denial of their behaviors and the effects they have.

Hira disavows his need for independence and separateness, like we would expect from a classic pursuer. And he tells himself he’s a pursuer in many ways. For example, he talks about “chasing” Kiyoi on quite a few occasions. But he’s not actually pursuing most of the time. There are certain things he does reliably. He’s always ready to gaze adoringly at Kiyoi, compliment him (often excessively), and do things for him like being a “gofer” or cooking for him. But when it comes to the kinds of pursuit that actually result in intimacy? This would include things like creating opportunities to spend time together or having open and honest discussions about vulnerable topics. Hira very rarely takes this type of action. How does he justify this to himself? Mostly, he does this by telling himself that his inability to start a relationship with Kiyoi, be close to him in certain ways, get him to stay with him long-term, etc. (depending on where we are in the story) isn’t because of his own choices or his inability to face his fears but rather because of the laws of the universe or Kiyoi’s immutable nature or something like that. For example:

The idea that the amount of happiness a person can feel in their lifetime is finite and that this guarantees he’ll lose Kiyoi and then be miserable for the remainder of his life. This isn’t geared toward justifying anything specific but makes him fatalistic and distracted in a way that lends itself to just not trying (except in the areas where he’s already comfortable putting in effort).

The metaphor about stars he launches into during their argument at the end of s2e3, in which he says that he can’t understand Kiyoi and he shouldn’t even try because “[i]f I try to touch it or to understand it, all I’ll do is pull the star down to my level!” This is a justification for not even trying to see things from Kiyoi’s point of view--in short, to completely avoid any actual emotional intimacy, since taking the other person’s perspective is a prerequisite for that.

Telling Kiyoi he doesn’t want to date him “because you’re the king, and I’m your servant.” This is an excuse not to try to start a relationship with Kiyoi in the first place, and it lays the groundwork for a pattern of substituting servicing Kiyoi for showing up for him emotionally.

Kiyoi starts out by disavowing his need for closeness and intimacy. Well, he mostly disavows it. Early on, he admits to being curious about Hira’s adoration of him, then he gradually admits that it appeals to him at least a little bit. But even as he finally admits to himself that he loves him, he remains totally insistent that he doesn’t need Hira. Think about how many times he says he “doesn’t care” or “doesn’t give a shit” about something involving Hira. Even privately, when he thinks about putting the Hira stuff behind him, he makes it sound way too easy. In season 2, he starts to have a healthier attitude toward these needs, but it’s gradual and hard-won.

Despite disavowing his need for closeness, Kiyoi ends up acting as a pursuer in a lot of ways. Sometimes he just denies he’s doing it, or denies that pursuing is the purpose of the behavior. And it works, because some of the ways he pursues Hira are subtle and have a lot of built-in plausible deniability. For example, making Hira the “gofer” for his friend group was an attempt to find out more about him and planning to rehearse at Hira’s house was just an excuse to see him alone. But he often tells himself he’s doing these things for other reasons. When Kiyoi is conscious of pursuing Hira, he’s often frustrated and resentful. He sees himself as someone who shouldn’t have to be the pursuer. And it makes a certain amount of sense. For one thing, he’s used to being pursued. He’s had people throwing themselves at him almost his entire life. Also, Hira has made so many declarations of love to him, given him so many extravagant compliments, and spent years relentlessly eye-fucking him, so it would stand to reason that he wouldn’t, or at least shouldn’t, have to work so hard to get close to him. And yet, he does. It’s legitimately frustrating.

I wrote previously that pursuers sometimes sabotage their own attempts at experiencing intimacy (because deep down, they’re ambivalent about it) by choosing either distancers or people who are downright unattainable as their objects of interest, and that Hira is a prime example. Hira picked the most desirable boy in school to fall in love with, which should have kept him safe from having to experience the anxieties of real intimacy. But he didn’t know what he was getting into with Kiyoi, who turned out to have a number of reasons to be more interested in what he had to offer than Hira could have expected.

Kiyoi makes a similar, complimentary miscalculation. He chooses Hira to get emotionally invested in because it seems like with Hira, he’ll never have to pursue his partner, feel insecure, or fear abandonment, because Hira is so devoted and downright worshipful. What he doesn’t know is that Hira’s idealization of him is actually a paradoxical way of keeping him at arm’s length.

So it’s like there’s this overlay. A pursuer who’s too afraid to catch his beloved, so he makes up elaborate stories to make sure he can’t. A distancer who has been so starved for love for so long that he chose someone who loved him more than anyone else ever had, then found out too late that he wasn’t going pursue him back in the ways he wanted.

In both cases, the die has already been cast. They’re already deeply attached to the other person. Hira has put himself in a weird double bind where he’ll be miserable if he loses Kiyoi but he’s deeply afraid of actually putting himself out there in the way that would be required for a more balanced, sustainable relationship. Kiyoi has been a bit more successful. His love for Hira has convinced him to push himself to be more flexible, both about acknowledging his need for closeness and about engaging in pursuing behaviors and other ways of meeting Hira halfway. By the end of season 2, Hira seems ready to start to show more of a similar kind of flexibility, but he has just barely gotten started, so time will tell if he sticks with it. They’ll both have to keep it up if they’re going to bridge the gap between them.

[sea-owl]

I request a governess polin au, hell we can add kathony too.

So let's say that in this au, Kate never went to London and Penelope never had London debut. To help with the family finances Kate set out to become a nurse/governess (I am aware they are two different positions, but just roll with me.) After discovering Lord Featheringtons debts Portia only had enough money to debut one more daughter. After debating she decided to place her bets on Felicity. Neither ever met the Bridgertons.

Somehow Penelope ended up as a sort of apprentice/partner to Kate and the two found a good job within the house of the Duke and Duchess of Hastings. With two of them they are able to take care of the children, Auggie, and Amelia, when they are younger and later teach them as well as any other children the Duke and Duchess may have.

The two get along well with their employers and they have each other so the loneliness that usually comes with their kind of position isn't as bad.

Then comes 1816 aka the year without summer. Things were wet and cold, some of the ton had decided to forgo that season and stay in their country homes. One of those families was the Bassets, who decided to invite the family to Clyvedon for the rest of the season, with possibly taking some time to go to Aubrey Hall.

Of course Kate and Penelope are also at Clyvedon, helping take care of the young lord and ladies.

"Oh Kate, Penelope," Daphne greeted as she walked into the nursery. "You two can take a break for a little while. Just bring the children down to the drawing room, my family will be here soon and I'm sure they'll want to see the babies."

"Yes your grace," Kate and Penelope bowed.

"Thank you-," Daphne cut herself off with a yawn. "Oh forgive me on that."

"It is alright your grace," Kate said.

Daphne fought another yawn as she walked out of the nursery.

Kate and Penelope looked at each other before letting out soft giggles.

"I suppose we'll have another little one soon enough," Kate said as she held onto Auggie's leading strings in one hand and held Belinda in another.

"Good for us, it keeps us employed longer," Penelope joked. She gently bounces Caroline, while her other hand holds Amelia's leading strings. "Looks like you won't be the baby for long young miss."

Kate grinned. "That it does."

The two lead the children down to the family drawing room where Simon was waiting. After that they were temporarily free for probably most of the afternoon if this was like the other visits from the duchess' family. Not that Kate and Penelope haven't really had any more than brief glimpses at the infamous Bridgertons.

After that Kate went to take a walk while Penelope went down to the kitchen for some leftovers cook left since she missed breakfast.

Enter Anthony and Colin.

Anthony had ridden separate from his family as he had to make a stop on the way for business. Unfortunately this also meant that Anthony had gotten caught in the rain on his way. Colin had gotten back just in time for them to leave and had not yet had a chance to change out of his traveling clothes nor a chance to really eat anything. Suffice to say they did not really look like sons of a high bred family.

Kate just happened to be passing by when Anthony rode up to Clyvedon.

Kate had to stop herself from raising an eyebrow at the soaked man who was foolish to ride out into the rain. If she had to guess he may have been one of the tenets. Just as they always did during the first day of guest arriving, the duke and duchess gave strict orders that they are not to be disturbed.

"Excuse me," the man said. "You could you direct me to where Simon and Daphne are?"

Kate was taken aback. She has never heard of a tenet being so informal. "I'm sorry sir, but their graces are not seeing to any business today. The duchess' family had arrived today."

The tenet looked annoyed. "I assure you they are expecting me."

"Sir," Kare sighed, then yelled when he pushed past her. "Sir!"

That's when Kate heard the bell designated for the nurses and governesses. Well fine, she'll just let her employers handle the tenet.

Meanwhile Colin had sneaked down to the kitchen. He was a growing boy after all, and he hadn't eaten all day.

He was surprised to see a cute red down there happily eating an eclair.

"Is there anymore?" Colin asked her.

Penelope jumped, just barely catching the custard that fell. Turning towards Colin she did in fact raise an eyebrow. She has not seen this man before. Penelope could place almost all the servants at Clyvedon by face and she has seen this one. Plus his clothing does not look like anything any of the servants would be wearing. Nor is he looking at her food like anyone else she has met before.

"I'm sorry sir, but this was the only one Cook had set aside. The rest are being served to her grace's family," Penelope said.

The man's eyes lit up at the mere mention of more food. "Really? Oh must show me where they are!"

What was this man? Some kind of interloper? Penelope would rather not show him where the duke and duchess are, but blast. It looks like she might not have a choice. That was the bell to summon her and Kate. Well hopefully if he does follow the duke will take care of it.

Kate and Penelope met at the entrance of the drawing room both of them looking at their partner with a questioning look at the strange man following.

Before Kate or Penelope could stop them the tenet and the interloper both walk into the drawing room.

"Anthony!"

"Colin!"

Oh fuck, Kate and Penelope knew those names. Those were the names of the duchess' brothers, the Viscount Bridgerton and the third Bridgerton. And now among the rest of their siblings Kate and Penelope could see the resemblance.

[neuroticbookworm]

Current Tag Game

Tagged by my dear friends/mutuals/incoherent scream sesh partners @twig-tea (here), @colourme-feral (here), @blmpff (here), @telomeke (here) and @waitmyturtles (here)

Current Time: nearly 5:00 PM

Current activity: Doomscrolling on social media (not recommended), writing this post (highly recommended, please interact on Tumblr, that's what makes this hellsite fun!)

Currently thinking about: Just watched the IFYLITA finale this morning with my bestie @lurkingshan, so my brain is currently ??????-ing all the different iterations of Yai we got to see (I like that Commander Yai looks more self-assured and confident than our widdle-20-something-lost-and-confused-baby Yai, but, DEAR LORD, The Mustache has to go. Just.. nope. Get that man a razor, STAT). Oh, and also, thinking about dinner.

Current favourite song: I recently watched Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man (Season 1) a few days ago and I have the song from the opening credits stuck in my head on repeat: Caramel / カラメル by Mosawo / もさを。(Original MV with English captions)

(I'm also gonna link the Utsukushii Kare Lyric MV from MBS because I want Kiyoi's pretty face on my post)

I've also been feeling nostalgic lately and listening to some decade-old bangers from my teen years (ah time, thou art a cruel wench)

Patakha Guddi lyrics, translated from Hindi, here

Mogathirai lyrics, translated from Tamil, here

Currently reading: Nothin' but meta posts from the lovely big-brained folks of Tumblrville

Currently watching: Oooooh. I actually wrapped up a lot of live watches and caught up on some incredible shows last week, so lemme do 3 mini-lists:

Recently Watched: Only Friends, Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man, If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo, I Feel You Linger In The Air

Currently Watching: Midnight Diner / Shinya Shokudo, endless reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Community

Next-Up on the Watchlist: I Cannot Reach You / Kimi ni wa Todokanai, Shadow, Dark Blue Kiss, Middleman's Love, Last Twilight, Playboyy, The Whisperer

Current favourite character: Ryuji from If It's With You.

< mild spoilers ahead for If It's With You >

This show did an incredible job portraying two people who have different levels/intensities of desire for one another and I was *floored* when Ryuji responded to Amane's confession in episode 4 with so much care, thoughtfulness and respect for both Amane's desire and his own boundaries. "Please make it one sided for a while" will live in my head rent free for the foreseeable future.

And Amane and Ryuji's conversation at the beach in the finale was another heartfelt and expertly written moment. I deeply adore how Ryuji basically went "I miss you and want to meet you whenever I feel like it, and if that means being a lover, then so be it. Let's date".

So yeah, I'm in love with this highly articulate, fictional, Japanese teenage boy

Current WIP: Ohhhhh man, SO MANY. The most pressing one is a retrospective meta on the Only Friends finale, which I must release into the wild before people move on from the show

Tags: I'm epically late to this one, so I might tag folks who have already done this, so if I do, apologies, friends!

@bengiyo, @italianpersonwithashippersheart, @sunshinechay, @syrena-del-mar, @ranchthoughts, @troubled-mind, @sorry-bonebag, @so-much-yet-to-learn and anyone else who wants to participate. No presh!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Top 5 moments that made you go HANDS, HANDS, HANDS, HANDS in bl

I have answered three of these so far, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to answer:

Top 5 Hands, Hands, Hands Moments from Pre-2023 Shows I Watched in 2023

I have been in BL for a little under a year and a half, which means I have binged a metric fuck-ton of shows from before 2023 (for context, I have completed over 100 shows, and I've only seen 40 made in 2023)

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

180 Degree is one of the best shows I have ever seen in my life, it fully...like it fully caused me to have a breakdown, it was incredible, and the second this shot came on screen, I am pretty sure I paused, and immediately started screaming at @bengiyo about how fucking gorgeous this show was. It is my dashboard photo for a reason and I do not see it changing any time soon.

My Ride

gif by @sollucets

Speaking of @bengiyo, he and @lurkingshan told me to watch this when they re-aired it this year on YouTube, because they have my best interests at heart and knew I would lose my goddamn mind over the Sunshine Boys and especially this hand scene where Mork washes blood off of Tawan's hand.

I Told Sunset About You

gif by @ficklefackle

gif by @tenprems

Literally all of ITSAY, but there are three that drive me absolutely batty, in order of appearance: when Teh draws a red circle on Tarn's hand before they kiss in Ep 2, Teh grabbing of Oh's non-existent breasts in Ep 3, and when Teh pulls his fingers away when Oh reaches out when they are studying.

Manner of Death

gif by @indifferentinfatuation

Hair pull. Enough said.

Utsukushii Kare, Season 1

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Hira, Kiyoi, and the horn dog energy that comes from sucking fingers. They were insane for this, but it's Hira so we knew that already. Love Kiyoi and his Stalker.

Bonus: Old Fashion Cupcake

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Cause 180 Degree is not actually a BL here is an extra Supreme Hand Scene

Japan in 2023 seems to have a thing for baby-birding water in to a romantic partner's mouth. Pre-2023 Japan had a penchant for sticking fingers in to a romantic partner's mouth but I can't say I'm mad about it.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023

[luvfy0dor]

Hello! I was wondering if you could maybe write bsd x gn or m reader who’s proficient enough in Japanese to.. well, manage, but still isn’t great at it? Not sure who you write for but maybe Atsushi or Dazai or Ranpo?

(Totally didn’t just request this because I’m learning Japanese and some of this grammar and kanji are killing me lmaooo)

Thanks :DDD

"A Little Help!! ♡⁠˖" Atsushi Nakajima x M!Reader

Warnings; I have very minimal knowledge on Japanese, so please do bare with me lol, probably bad translations, but other than that pure fluff!!

Description; Atsushi and Ranpo helping their partner with their Japanese skills

A/N; IM SO SORRY I ONLY DID ONE CHARACTER BC I HAVE VERY LIMITED KNOWLEDGE ON THE LANGUAGE AND DIDNT WANNA REPEAT SCENARIOS SO I USED GOOGLE TRANSLATE BUT I PUT WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO SAY AT THE BOTTOM BUT PLS DO TELL IF YOU WANT ME TO RE-WRITE IT THO I ABSOLUTELY WILL ♡ GOOD LUCK IN YOUR LEARNING 💓

Atsushi is gonna teach you everything you need to know if you're struggling with the language. He'll teach you how to memorize and recognize the kanji since he is well acquainted with the symbols.

Scenario !! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Recently, you've really been taking the initiative to better your Japanese skills, but identifying all the different kanji was quite the hurdle to jump without landing flat on your face. When speaking the language, you had no problem with basic stuff, but when it came to actually reading the language, it got a little more difficult. Luckily for you, you happened to have a boyfriend who was fluent in the language.

Occasionally you would hang around the Ada, using it as an opportunity to utilize the words and phrases you knew. Ofcourse there was some anxiety regarding conversation going further than you pleased and crossing into topics you couldn't fluently speak on. You figured it could be a good learning experience though, so you powered through the long days at the agency, acting as a secretary.

Your ears perked up at the quiet sound of the door opening, a woman walking in, your boyfriend Atsushi following behind her. You give them both a small smile, not quite sure if she was going to speak with you or not yet. Then, she opened her mouth.

"Kon'nichiwa, Kunikida-san to hanashite mo īdesu ka?" ¹ She asks, her head tilted ever so slightly. Her short brown hair sways to one side while she speaks. You think for a moment before replying

"Mōshiwakearimasenga, kare wa ima koko ni imasen." ² You tell her, remembering that Kunikida and Ranpo had gone somewhere on investigation earlier that morning and have yet to return. You give her that one look of faux sympathy or apology as you talk. Atsushi listens to you speak, smiling and giving you a thumbs up from behind the woman, essentially cheering you on. He walks around the woman and stands at your side.

"Ā, daijōbudesu. Ashita no yoyaku o shite mo īdesu ka?" ³ You swallowed a small lump on your throat before looking over at Atsushi for help. "She wants to make an appointment for tomorrow to speak with Kunikida. Do you know how to reply?" He asks, a reassuring smile on his face. "Kare wa mada gengo o benkyō-chūdesuga, wa i, dekimasu." ⁴ You hear him say to the woman, to which she replies with an understanding nod. You wrack your brain quickly for a response, and you find one.

"Nanji?" You reply, praying that you remembered the correct phrase for your question, but when you aren't met with a small giggle or sigh of annoyance, you feel a lot better. She tells you the time and asks to have it written down on a small piece of paper because of her poor memory. You grabbed a sticky note from the desk with a pen, scribbling down the time and handing it to her. Atsushi watches you write, his gaze soft as he takes a seat next to you. The woman thanks you and leaves, the door clicking again just as it had done when she entered.

"See, you did pretty good." He says with a smile, resting his head in his hand. You sigh, doubtful of your accuracy in the conversation. "Yeah, I probably did, but I couldn't have the conversation fully on my own. You had to translate one of her sentences." You say, putting your head down and resting it on your folded forearms. He rubs your back gently, patting it after a couple seconds.

"Hey, that's not a bad thing. Me telling you what that means is only gonna help you recognize it later." He says, trying his best to reassure you. "If you really want to be able to strive without..in the moment help, you can always ask me to teach you stuff." He smiles warmly. You give him a smile and sit upwards again, his hand sliding down to the small of your back now.

"That would actually be really nice." You stare into his pretty eyes, taking in his facial features, seemingly studying them harder than you studied Japanese. He blushed under your stare and averted his eyes to look at his lap instead. "What specifically do you have a hard time with?" He says, his voice relatively quiet as you both sat in the otherwise silent room. "Kanji." You reply instantly, knowing that if a part of a language could oppose you, it would be kanji.

Your boyfriend nods in understanding, having figured that kanji would be your toughest subject, given how similar a lot of them look. "Okay. You can come back to my apartment tonight if you want and I can teach you. We can scrape together some money and buy take out, too." He says with a smile. You nod in agreement before you both go about the rest of your day, eagerly looking forward to that evening.

When you both arrive back to his apartment, Atsushi grabs some paper and pens, handing you one of them. He guides you to sit at the kitchen table. He writes down some kanji symbols in his neatest handwriting.

"Alright, here, tell me the difference between these two." On the paper, the symbols "緑" and "縁" are written. "Well..the bottom right corners are different from the other." You say. He nods in confirmation. "Yeah! See? You have to really observe each symbol." He says with a smile. This goes on for a while, Atsushi teaching you how to differentiate the symbols as well as telling you their meanings before you've both tired yourselves out enough to nearly fall asleep as soon as your body hit the couch. Atsushi hugged your torso as he layed on your chest, his head in the crook of your neck.

"But yeah, that's basically as simple as it is." He says with a yawn, seemingly dismissing the topic of your second language for the moment. You brush some of his hair out of his face while he cuddles into your chest some more. "Yeah, I mean, it really doesn't seem that hard, but it's easier to say something like that then to act like it." You murmur back, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. "But I've got such a great boyfriend to help me, huh?" You say happily, to which he nods. "And I've got such a great boyfriend to teach."

A/N #2; here's the guide as promised 😞💔 this sat in my drafts for like the past two weeks but im so glad i finally fulfilled it. Sometimes

1~ Hello, may I speak with Kunikida?

2~ I'm sorry, he's not here right now.

3~ Oh, its alright. Can I make an appointment for tomorrow?

4~ hes still learning the language, but yes, you can

5~ What time?

[hxhhasmysoul]

In your personal opinion, does Kirara Hoshi uses he/him or she/her?

I think the he/him thing was because Panda knew them/her by those pronouns when they/she was still at school. And once they meet Kirara in the present, Panda switches to they/them and Megumi uses "this person", they notice what Kirara looks like and aren't sure what to make of it.

In Japanese, people will be often referred to in gender-vague ways like just by their names or by "this/that/morethat person" aka konohito このひと/sonohito そのひと/ anohito あのひと. And if you look these words up in the dictionary you will see translations like "the person in question"(sonohito) or "she/he" (both for konohito and anohito) <- the binary genders are there because dictionaries are not the fastest to catch up with language and cultural changes, these words don't indicate a gender binary in any way, they are exactly genderless. That's why it's very easy to have nonbinary characters in manga, or characters whose gender is unclear. (Kono/sono/ano are a wonderful quirk of the Japanese language. "Ano" doesn't mean "morethat" it's a bad joke way for me to indicate that ano and sono are different but I'm not going to explain it because it'd turn into a Japanese lesson - if you're curious I'm sure there are lessons on it online)

The thing about pronouns in Japanese is that they aren't used that much. The clear gender pronouns do exist (he = kare かれ 彼; she = kanojo かのじょ 彼女) but if you look these words up you'll see that they also are translated to boyfriend/girlfriend and they are often used like that, to indicate the romantic partner. It's complicated like that.

That being said, when it comes to Kirara I think that if it's not the safer choice of they/them, it's she/her because in chapter 181 Hakari says: "I don't know when I'll be able to bring a woman here". He uses the basic and unambiguous word for woman (onna 女).

He's referring to the Ferris wheel ride, clearly treats it like a date spot/activity and is disgruntled that he's there with a guy. It indicates that he's interested in women - exclusively or mostly, because that's the gender that automatically comes to his mind. And Kirara's heavily indicated to be his partner so he's the most likely to use the right pronouns and gender identifiers for her.

Thank you to @cursedvibes for the raw image.