#kara twelves

[aceouttatime]

Alliums, for your patience.

Artfight revenge time! I've got @lunargazing-png's Kara and Azailick here on a little Citadel date after work <333 I had a blast drawing these two, and their story is super cool--if you haven't, go check them out!

[fictiongods]

Kara in the stronger together (1x2) ending scene with Alura is actually the most heartbreaking thing you will ever see and they added it just so I would cry. “Whatever it is you wish you could ask Alura, you may ask me.” “I’d ask for a hug.” Oh okay. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, I’m fine. I’m good and fine. I feel so normal and fine and the mommy issues are un-quaked. Do you grasp this? All she wants IS A HUG FROM HER MOTHER. She wants to be held and protected by someone she loves and knows would hold her like she’s fragile, like she’s weak, and she wouldn’t be ashamed of that. She would be protected like she protects everyone else, but it’s a hologram so when she asks she can’t get it. She can’t hug her mother. Then in season three she got that hug. Finally, she got to be held and protected and safe and fragile and weak. She got her mother. And then she chose to leave that behind. Willingly. For the people she needed to protect. I hate it here Kara you precious little baby.

[bobbinalong]

what earth names do you think otho and osul would pick if they had to pick some?

[jakascoo]

Kara: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

[meyerlansky]

oscar had one monologue and i am now a tully stan

[sugarsnappeases]

poliziano wishes he could write an orpheus and eurydice musical that hits as hard as this one

[unknownbard]

Suddenly feel the urge to write domestic Supercorp. Long day at work, they get the booze out, Lena’s already pouring herself some fancy aged Scotch when Kara opens a twelve dollar bottle she picked up at some corner store on the way home.

“That bad, huh?”

“You wouldn’t believe the absolute drivel I had to endure today.”

[natalievoncatte]

Alex slowed her breathing, finally. She was okay. Kara was okay. Her sister was okay. There was a lot for her to think about after the last few days but right now all that mattered was that she was sitting on Kara’s couch holding a beer, just relaxing with her sister and the two cold ones she’d already slammed back.

Alex stretched out her legs and put her feet on the table. Things were going good. This Children of Liberty were getting mopped up, Kara was… Kara seemed okay, she had a date with Jimmy (James! *James!*) Olsen’s hot sister that she had a feeling was going places, and it looked like the next few weeks or months would settle into a run of the mill routine of alien mop-ups and bank robberies, while Kara was in the running for a Pulitzer.

Alex sighed, contentedly, and then Kara popped up from the couch and said “Lena’s in the hallway.”

Alex smiled secretly to herself.

“Go get ‘er,” she said, stifling a burp. “Tiger.”

Kara shot back an odd look, and Alex wondered when she’d figure it out herself.

After all, filling an office with flowers was not a romantic gesture. Nor were the saves and hugs and little forehead touches. Alex and Nia had talked about starting a betting pool. Shit, there were rumors in the press.

It seemed that Lena and Kara were the only two people in the world that didn’t realize that dropping almost a billion dollars on a whim for someone is not what friends are fucking for.

Kara rushed to the door and yanked it open.

Lena stood in the hallway looking shellshocked and shaken, eyes wide and trembling. Kara half-lifted, half ushered her inside and slammed the door.

“Lena?” she said. “Lena what is it, what’s wrong?”

Alex sobered up in an instant -mostly- and was on her feet. She saw the bulge in the pocket of Lena’s hoodie and fixed her eyes on it. Lena seemed to remember that she had something in there and pulled out a gun.

“Lena?!” Kara chirped.

Alex’s hand flew to the nonexistent holster on her hip; she’d locked her gun in a drawer when she started with the beer. She caught herself, scolded herself. Lena was a friend. To Kara she was more than a friend.

Alex rushed forward instead. Lena didn’t resist as Alex took the gun, a brightly polished and valuable classic Colt Python six shot with a chopped barrel and coco bolo wood stocks, a real high end custom job. A rich girl’s gun, if a bit bigger than a girl would normally carry.

“Whoa, you have a permit for this?” Alex said, trying to be cute.

“I shot Lex.”

Kara tensed, rushing from behind Lena, dipping down as she put her hands on the other woman’s shoulders.

Oh fuck.

“You couldn’t have,” said Lena. “I… it was me, when we fought in Sentinel Island.”

“He used this,” said Lena, pulling her hand out of her pocket with a watch in her fingers. “It’s a portal watch. He can teleport with it.”

“He must have had it as a backup,” said Alex. “Teleported out before impact.”

Kara shot her a shocked look.

“What do you mean?” said Kara, “What do you mean you shot him?”

“Two to the chest, one to the head,” Lena repeated, robotically. “We want ‘em alive but we’ll take ‘em dead. Lex taught me when I was twelve.”

“Lena,” Alex said, as she flicked open the cylinder and saw there were three shells left in the gun. “You’re not making sense.”

Lena looked at her.

“I knew where he’d go. I knew what he’d do. So I got there first. I was going to stop him, make sure that he didn’t get away, then call for help. I didn’t want to do it. He made me.”

“Lena,” Kara began.

Lena looked at her and Alex tensed.

Kara wasn’t wearing her glasses.

Oh shit.

“He was going to kill you. You were becoming his latest fixation. He couldn’t get to Superman so he’d get you. I tried to stop him but I was too late.”

“Me? Why would he care about me?” said Kara. “I’m nobody.”

Lena stared at her, looking directly into her eyes.

“You’re Supergirl.”

Alex almost dropped the gun. She gaped at Lena, open-mouthed. Kara’s eyes went wide and panic shocked through her face.

Alex waited for the excuse, the denial, the deflection.

“Yes,” said Kara. “I am. I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, I swear I was,” her voice cracked and began to waver. “I know I lied. I,”

Lena grabbed the collar of Kara’s sweater, and when she pulled, Alex briefly thought that she was lunging in to kiss Kara. Instead she pulled her into a hug and Kara hugged her back, fiercely and protectively. Alex stood there dumbly with the murder weapon hanging from her hand.

“I was too late. I’m sorry. I was too late.”

“Too late for what?” Alex demanded, panic rising hot in her chest. “Too late for what, Lena?”

Still tucked in Kara’s arms, Lena turned her head and looked at Alex.

“He already did it. Turn on the TV.”

Alex swallowed, hard.

She walked over to the coffee table and grabbed the remote, turning off Netflix and switching back to cable.

She didn’t have to flip channels. It was on every station. Every network. Alex and Kara’s phones were buzzing wildly on the table.

“Oh shit,” said Alex.

***

Should I continue this one?

[kiarrahatesboys]

Realistically, today had been a good day. Most of Lena's technology worked perfectly, and any tweaks she needed to make went smoothly. Nia had bought her coffee. At a private moment around noon, Kara had kissed her cheek before flying off to do rounds on the city.

Lena, however, stands in the hallway of Kara’s apartment building wishing she could punch a hole or twelve into the drywall. Her keys - including the spare key to the loft that she had been given - fall out of her hand to the floor, and she feels the tension in her chest build.

It takes an eternal four seconds to pick them up, unlock the door, and step inside.

Kara stands by her kitchen sink, sipping from her purple water bottle. “Hi, baby.”

There is no will to look over and smile in response. Lena drops her purse on the floor and trudges straight to the bed. She falls face-first into it, feet dangling in the air.

All the blankets and abandoned clothes from this morning smell familiar. Lemon and woodsmoke – Kara. Lena likes to joke that the woodsmoke smell is because she flies so fast she burns up.

She can feel the furrow in her eyebrows, and what's worse is that she has no idea why it's there. It was a good day. She didn't even have to make a pit stop at Luthor Corp to put out any fires. There's nothing wrong.

The lack of explanation for her frustration makes her even more frustrated.

“Hey.” The mattress dips as Kara sits down. “Rough day?”

“No,” Lena says into blankets, suddenly near tears. She rolls over onto her back. “That's the thing, it was good. So why am I in meltdown territory?”

Kara’s hand is in her hair – soothing, home, safety. “I’m sorry. Let me help you?”

Lena nods, toeing off her shoes. They clatter to the floor. Kara offers her hands and pulls her into a sitting position. She helps Lena out of her day clothes and expertly offers the right pajamas. Good texture, good match, good breathability.

It takes a moment for her to start pulling them on as she prepares to go from stationary to in motion. The clean air surrounding her body after she changes helps to lessen the dread in her shoulders. Kara knows the little details to make her comfortable - hood up over her head, a fresh pair of socks. Once dressed, Lena flops over onto her side and curls up tight.

Kara leans over to kiss her head. She draws the curtains. The room becomes dark, and Lena feels her eyebrows relax. It’s a warm summer day outside, and the sun has made its presence clear. The darkness now dampening her vision offers peace.

“Do you want me around?” Kara asks, voice soft.

“Yes, please.” Lena sounds childlike. Her voice is fragile, muffled under her hands.

“Okay, scooch. Make room.”

Lena falls limp as a smile ghosts her face.

“Wow. Okay.” Kara heaves a dramatic sigh.

She feels Kara’s arms snake under her body. For a moment, she’s weightless, and then she’s gently set a foot or two over from where she was before. The mattress bounces again as Kara settles.

Lena reaches behind her to pull Kara's arm over her stomach and takes a deep breath.

“Good girl,” Kara says innocently.

“Hmm?”

“The deep breath. Proud of you.”

Lena’s body feels warm with love. “Thanks.”

The conversation lulls. Lena keeps breathing. Cool air keeps her temperature regulated under a hoodie and Kara’s body. Tension still weighs in her chest, but the accommodations matter. Kara doesn't even ask what she needs, she just knows. Lena barely has to move. She's surrounded by so much love.

“I wish I knew what was wrong.” she says into silence.

Kara hums, sounding sleepy and content.

“Like, nothing bad happened. I had a good day. Why do I feel like I want to implode?”

“You’re autistic, love.” Kara slips her hand beneath Lena’s hoodie to hold her tummy. “That happens. Sometimes there's no answer. I know you don't like that, I’m sorry.”

Lena hates how whiny she sounds. “But I want an answer! I want something to fix.”

“I know, baby.”

She sighs, then rolls over into Kara’s embrace. Having nothing to blame makes the situation feel unresolved. Agitation swirls in her gut, but she knows there's nothing to be done. Sometimes there are just days where the world is too much.

“Too much world.” Lena mumbles.

Kara puts a hand in her hair. “I know. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

As much as the lack of answer makes things unfinished, the hoodie helps. Having the hood up helps. She has clean socks and a dark room. Her girlfriend loves her, and is warm and solid against her.

Despite it all, she's loved. And that’s important too.

"Thank you." she whispers into darkness.

Kara scratches gently at her scalp. "Always, baby."

Always.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Portal Children AU Pt 2 - Supercorp

At the age of 12, Lena earns an expulsion from her fifth boarding school. By that point, her parents are at the end of their wits with her, and when they learn of the Home for Wayward Children, they're relieved to dump Lena there and leave as swiftly as their car can manage.

Who can blame them, when their darling little girl returns from an afternoon walk in the grove bitter and bereft and uninterested in the world around her? How can they hope to salvage a relationship with a daughter who glares at them with far too much resentment than an eight, then ten, then twelve year old should contain?

They leave her, and Lena doesn't give their trail of dust a backwards glance. She has work to do, and the Home for Wayward Children-- in truth a refuge for children just like her-- may just be the place to get it done.

Any time she's not in class Lena is outdoors and in motion. She runs across the acres of land the school is situated upon, from fence to fence in every direction. She climbs trees, hopping between them across bending branches, on nimble feet. She boxes with shadows, throwing jabs and elbows with sharp, precise blows.

She harvests a thick fallen branch, and carves it down to a smooth staff, swinging it around her body and over her head in a violent single person dance. The headmistress of the school tries to scold Lena when the paring knife reported missing by the school cook ends up on Lena's belt. But no matter how many times it's confiscated, it always ends up back on Lena's person, until one day the headmistress (once a wayward child herself) gifts her a proper dagger with a chide to stop stealing from the cook.

When Lena's not moving, she's strategizing, studying, plotting. She's spent 20 years as a general, leading her fellow freedom fighters in sabotage runs, blitz attacks and full frontal assaults all. She has negotiated with royals and peasants and everyone in between, with the fate of an entire world solidly on her shoulders.

Even five years after her return to her childhood body, that responsibility has yet to release her. Her thoughts tumble with catastrophizing what ifs, wavering between wondering what happened to her friends after Lex banished her and knowing that he's already executed them all.

Her entire existence now focuses on finding a way back to her world, and being ready to resume the fight as soon as she does.

The students at the school are used to oddness amongst their peers. But even among children all individually shaped by their specific circumstances and worlds, Lena is considered odder than most. She shows no interest in making friends, and even if she did the other children find her intensity unsettling.

Except for her roommate, Kara.

Kara fares better than most. Coming back with the knowledge that the journey back would be a long one helps, even if it can't totally dull the pain of missing her chosen home. Her return had been voluntary, and she knows that however long it may take, she *will* make it back, and that her friends will still be there waiting for her when she does.

So she doesn't understand what drives Lena's unhappiness, at first. Lena doesn't share in group therapy, so no one really knows what her world or her role in that world truly was. But where they see a girl removed from the world, Kara sees only a friend she hasn't met yet.

Kara also likes to be active. Or rather, she likes to be strong. Where Lena moves and moves and moves, Kara is perfectly content lifting weights in her little fitness corner. She exercises for strength where Lena exercises for survival. Even so, Kara sees the value in Lena's movment, the lightning quick economy of motion. And Kara adores it.

One day, Kara leaves a gift on Lena's bed, then crawls into the tree outside their window to wait for her roommate to return. When she does, Kara sees Lena freeze in place, her eyes jumping swiftly from the oddly wrapped package on the coverlet to scan her surroundings, searching for any sign of a threat.

Realizing her error, Kara makes a point of rustling the leaves around her before poking her head through the foliage.

"It's okay!" she chirps brightly. "I left it for you."

Lena's gaze narrows on Kara, mouth twisting to something just shy of a frown.

"Will you open it?" Kara continues, then adding, "please?"

Slowly, Lena eases her book bag from her shoulder, and finally sits on the edge of her bed, lifting the awkward bulk of the gift into her lap. When the wrapping paper falls away, Kara hears Lena gasp.

An unstrung bow glimmers in the afternoon light, it's surface smooth with untouched polish. Kara knows from wrapping it that the wood is dense, strong but flexible in a recurve shape, perhaps a little large for Lena's frame. But the way Lena stares at it, Kara has no idea if she'd made a huge mistake or not.

"I saw you trying to find a suitable branch in the woods the other week," she says quickly. "I think I got the size right, based on what you seemed to prefer, but if it's not I can let my parents know. They helped me get this, and--"

Lena stands sharply, gripping the bow shaft in one hand while the other scoops up the loosely coiled string. In a single fluid motion she strings the bow and draws it back to the corner of her jaw.

Kara stops and stares, amazed and dazzled by the efficiency of her roommate's movements, and the laser focus of a hunter, a warrior, on Lena's features. Then, as quickly as she drew it, Lena relaxes the bowstring, spinning to face Kara where she's perched outside the window.

"It's perfect," Lena breathes.

Then she smiles, a bright dazzling beam of delight that no one in this world has ever seen. In that moment, Kara knows she'll spend the rest of her life collecting as many of those smiles as she can.

[thejuveniledelinquent]

random headcanons/scenarios that i think are funky fun

Lex tried to copyright the word "lexicon" after releasing a book called "The Lexicon" (the capitialization is often debated; nobody agrees on anything or confirms it, especially not Lex) that details his vocabulary, phrases he often uses and quotes he claims are his, including but not limited to "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take," "all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players," and the entirety of the bible.

bro didn't even make it into court with that one

Kara was once supposed to write a memoir about krypton or something but ended up sending the publisher her K/S genderbend femslash fanfic instead :/

they published it without a word. she stayed on the nyt bestseller's list for like two years. lesbian Spirk is canon now.

Dick was a stripper for a few months. mostly just for funsies, but also because Bruce dies inside whenever he brings it up and he thinks that's the funniest shit in the world

also Bruce got sent to jail one time for reasons he refuses to elaborate on, and he was cellmates with Lex. he acted like Brucie the WHOLE TIME.

buddy did not drop the act. not even in his sleep. he is an actor committed to his craft.

on that note, Bruce has been in at least twenty-five romcoms, four horrors movies ("i can't do those anymore! they're just so terrifying," Brucie had told the press when speaking about his latest film, Movie That Is Not Scary That Nobody Knows The Name Of), ten movies about dogs, twelve animated films james corden style, one very emotional family-focused western considered a cult classic by hardcore fans, and three buddy cop films in the past month

Dick, Jason and Cass drag the rest of the family to see Hamilton on broadway during opening week. none of them initially want to be there, but they're all ugly crying at any character's slightest inconvenience and they somehow know all the lyrics within ten minutes because they're homosexuals like that.

Bart Allen bites people. he is an animal and humans are his chew toys.

Damian played Assassin's Creed 2 once, and it was on thin fucking ice purely because it wasn't realistic enough

"i am not caught up on my italian and vatican history, father, but i don't think the pope had a mind control staff. why does he need it? is he stupid?"

Oliver once sang Four Jews in a Room Bitching in front of Bruce, the resident bitching jew who has not seen Falsettos, and he got served the batglare of a lifetime

also, Oliver's favourite musical is Falsettos because i said so.

"the big grey block isn't real, Oliver. the big grey block can't hurt you," Dinah lied mere moments before the big grey block hurt him.

anyway give me YOUR headcanons and scenarios!!!!! give them to me and let me eat them :D

[automaticsoulharmony]

Guys I’ve been thinking so much about Kara arriving at the same time as Clark so much

Two pods containing not only a baby, but also a twelve year old girl, crash into the Kent’s property. Still they take them both in.

Kara speaks Kryptonese, she doesn’t know English. She wear a translator device that her mother made for diplomatic purposes, and it’s not perfect but it’s how she understands these strange people.

The Kents are patient about it. Even though her voice comes through as a slightly robotic translation, they love her. And they love Kal.

Kara only speaks to Kal in Kryptonese, Ma and Pa talk in English, Kal grows up in a bilingual household.

Most things are completely different for Kara, this planet looks and smells and acts differently than hers ever did. There are a few similarities.

The first time it rained, she ran outside and danced. It was one of her favorite things on Krypton, and she cried, because for once, the water felt the same.

She smelled Ma’s apple pie for the first time and bounded down the stairs. They had apples on Krypton, even if called by a different name. It quickly became her favorite dessert, it had been the same on Krypton.

She cried, a lot. She flew around frequently as she got a hold of her powers. She had always been good at science and she didn’t let this planets strangeness stop her from that. She learned to live here, and she grew to love it.

[eqt-95]

a new kind of romance, pt 1

🕯️ | s'mores

Kara had been talking about graham crackers.

Correction: she’d been talking about s’mores which were currently scattered in various states of completion across a very polished and very expensive coffee table because Lena Luthor, genius, billionaire, and the most thoughtful very best friend in the whole world set up a bunsen burner in her living room while the three magical ingredients were delivered lightning fast when Kara, nostalgic and sharing about her favorite Kryptonian dessert, explained s’mores were the most comparable earth treat. 

Then she dove into a very impassioned and detailed history of graham crackers.

Which was very in character.

What was also in character was how she managed to eat no less than twelve s’mores at a rate that challenged the poor little bunsen burner’s flame power.

So absorbed by her own explanation, she failed to notice the weight of cushions shift next to her until a thumb brushed against Kara’s chin. 

Voice screeching to a stammering halt, eyes widened, and cheeks flushing the color of the forgotten flame, the Girl of Steel could do nothing but watch as a very soft Lena, clad in sweats (Kara’s) and a scooped neck sweater that hung low and revealing (Lena’s), crawled into her personal space.

She crawled like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it didn’t send Kara’s heart sky-rocketing with uncontained and undefinable excitement.

And then.

Then.

The pad of Lena’s thumb rubbed at the skin just to the left of Kara’s mouth with focused intensity while her own mouth broke into the tiniest grin of adoration. And before Kara could process any of it, the touch was gone and the digit slipped between Lena’s perfect lips and against her swirling tongue. 

“Marshmallow,” Lena explained when her thumb popped out, slick and cleaned of the sugary threads that had just been shellacked across Kara’s face. She settled back into her side of the couch, snatching a blank graham cracker to munch on before asking, “You were saying?”

And, golly, Kara didn’t have a clue.

- - - part 2 | purple purple part 3 | zippers part 4 | frosting part 5 | could we? wood we?

[jakascoo]

Kara: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Jason: ICARUS?

[luthordamnvers]

See all the Marks of my Wounded Past on AO3

Kara Zor-El was sent to Earth to protect her baby cousin. She landed, but never found him. Instead the name of a stranger was indelibly written in her arm since her landing. She never paid much attention to that name; survival was much more important to accomplish, with no one to take care of her anymore.

Lena’s life was forever changed when her soulmate mark made her appearance at the age of twelve, when not only one name showed up, but two. It didn’t get any better when more kept appearing and appearing. Exceedingly alarming, she was sure one of the names wasn’t even human. And then they met each other.

OR Soulmate AU

Language: English || Words: 50,640 || Chapters: 3/3

I am extremely excited to share the supercorp fic that I wrote with the incomparable @snowydragonscave for @supergirlmayhem. And art from the amazing @rustingcat who did a FANTASTIC job understanding what the fic was about, first of all, and second making it come to life with her honestly breathtaking drawing [Here]

This was a labor of love, (and tears because... this was never supposed to be this long) and truly I couldn't ask for a better co-writer than Snowy. It was a joy, and truly an amazing experience that I hope we get to repeat. Thanks to everyone who cheered on us, and to the creators of the event. It was an honor to participate.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt from the one where Clark forgot to introduce Kon and Jon.

Kon doesn't even know how to make a connection with Jon. Every time he's tried to talk to the kid, it's been weird and stilted and awkward, never mind how the kid opens up like a flower beaming up at the sun whenever it's anybody else he's talking to. He's adorable and sweet and friendly and just so fucking nice right up until Kon says "hey", at which point it's all one-word answers and unhappy mutters and quick excuses to get out of the room. 

The kid doesn't even call him "Kon". It's always, always "Conner". 

Kon doesn't know why it bothers him so much. He was never a twelve year-old with a loving family and amazing parents and a near-idyllic childhood or whatever, so like . . . what would they even talk about, anyway? They have absolutely nothing in common, aside from being the only fully successful Kryptonian-human hybrids in possibly the entire fucking universe, considering Match's (fucking terrifying) degeneration the past few years. Like–that's it. That's all they've got. A genetic similarity, when Kon already knows just how damn little genetic similarities mean. 

And Jon exists because Clark loves Lois, while Kon only exists because Lex hates Superman. So like . . . yeah. Those are two very different origins, aren't they. 

Jon's never going to like him. 

Meanwhile, Kon would literally fucking die for this kid. Like, Jon is just–he's so good. He's all bright sunlight and eager optimism and bold determination, and there is not a single damn grenade that Kon wouldn't throw himself on for him. 

Admittedly, fine, Kon is grenade-proof and also would literally fucking die for a lot of people. Fully-committed willingness to die for somebody is not any kind of an outlier in his personality and never has been. Just . . . the rest of those people can at least make fucking small talk with him. Lex has more to say to him than Jon does. Clark has more to say to him than Jon does.

Kon actually can't think of anyone in his life who wants less to do with him than Jon does. There are literal supervillains in his life with more emotional investment in him. Multiple ones!

Jesus, what a thought. 

He loves this kid so much. When Jon gets excited about something that he thinks is cool, Kon's chest gets tight and warm. When Jon's upset or in a bad mood, Kon can't concentrate on anything except how bad he wants to fix it for him. When Jon's in trouble or needs help or just wants something–

He knows the kid's heartbeat like it's his fucking own. 

Kon digs his fingers into Tim's pillow and does his damnedest to just be normal about this. To just deal with this. 

He will, he knows. He always does, doesn't he? Every time he looks at someone else and feels something that they don't feel for him, he deals. He deals with the amicable and uncrossable distance that Clark keeps between them and Kara's polite disinterest in his existence and Tim having a boyfriend and Match being an asshole and Lex being Lex and whatever else. He can deal with Jon, too. 

Not like he has another choice. 

When has he ever? Tana didn't want him like he wanted her. Knockout didn't care about him like he cared about her. Rex took advantage of him and Roxy was more invested in the fact that he didn't want to kiss her than in just being his friend and he hasn't heard from anyone who ran off with Cadmus since–

Kon shuts down his brain. It's not helping right now. Which, well–when does it ever, really?

He wonders if maybe he shouldn't have come back. Maybe he should've just stayed gone. Stayed forgotten. Stayed . . . away. 

Stayed out of the way. 

He wonders if maybe he should leave on purpose.