#kanha you see this?

[krsnaradhika]

I want Kanha to kiss my forehead, boop my nose and call me a little cutie patootie so that I can keep going with my day. It's not hard, life's been great lately but I just miss him hehe.

[krishna-sangini]

Living The Vrindavan Dream

(Warning: Very long post)

This is the post describing my trip to Braj Dham <3

Day 1:

We reached Vrindavan at around 3 p.m. Had prasad and then after resting for a while, we left for the Banke Bihari Temple.

Tbh, my experience in Banke Bihari wasn't very good. Not because of the temple itself, obviously, but because of the people. Rushing in like literal animals! Like, yeah I understand y'all are excited to see the lil Manmohana there, BUT SO ARE WE! Anyyyyway, we did catch a good glimpse of Him there sooooo 🫠❤️🥹❤️

Anyyyyway, we then went to the Sneh Bihari Temple. It was way less crowded and people were civilised. Soooo yeah, that's where I broke down. Like, my Keshav looked so freaking beautiful there, I just couldn't bring myself to dam my tears. It was simply ethereal...✨

He just looked so freaking beautiful and I felt like I had transcended all limits of the world...💫

And guess whaaat? The pandit of the temple called me near him AND GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL GARLAND FROM KESHAV! IT WAS LIKE THE BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE; I HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPIER FR FR!!! OUUUUFFFF KESHAV I LOVE YOU TOOOO!

We then visited the Ashta Sakhi Temple, Radha Ballabh Temple and the Keshav Mahadeveswar Temple. The serenity there is to die for. Like, why not? It's our Kanha's place after all!

Day 2:

JANMASTHAMI DAAAAY!!!!!!! THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE? HELL YEAH!

Soooo, I wore this beautiful ghaghra for my Keshav's bday celebrations.

But ek haadsa hogaya. Four monkeys legit jumped on me to snatch my beautiful latkans. One of them even managed to rip one of the latkans off my ghaghra🥲. One grabbed my ghaghra, and the rest three grabbed my chunari. But Kanha saved another me from a full-on Vastra Haran sooo yeah. I just got a few scratches.

Anyyyway, first, we went to Seva Kunj Temple. There, I did my Keshav's abhishek!!!!!! I've never felt happier, fr fr; I almost cried. He looked so freaking cute like aaaaahhhh!

From there, we went to the Radha Raman Temple. Again, it was crowded to the point that breathing became laborious. Couldn't catch a proper glimpse of Keshav there 🥲

Next, we went to Radha Damodar Temple. This place was great. Crowded, but organised. Plus, they had an almost empty bhajan hall. There, we could sit peacefully and I could get lost in my Keshav's thoughts...😌

From there, we went to the Meera Bai Temple. There was a super beautiful cow sitting in front of the idol. It felt as if the Murlidhar himself was petting her gently as she sat there calmly with her eyes closed. <3

We then visited the Govindji Temple. That place is so freaking beautiful! Like, you can feel the walls echoing the name of the darling of Vrindavan; it was simply blissful.

After that, we went back to our guest house to rest. In the evening, we went back to Seva Kunj for the Janmashtami celebrations.

IT. WAS. THE. HAPPIEST. I. HAVE. EVER. BEEN. IN. MY. WHOLE. ENTIRE. LIFE

Firstly, we had a beautiful pravachan by a Maharaj Ji. He basically talked about the birth of Krishna.

So, it's a lesser-known fact that Yashoda maiyya actually gave birth to twins, Yogmaya and Vrindavan Krishna. So, when Vasudev brought in Devaki's Krishna, both the Kanhas became one. And when Krishna and Balram were leaving with Akrur ji, the Vrindavan Krishna stayed back in Vrindavan. So, he technically never left. AND THAT'S WHY VRINDAVAN'S AIR REEKS OF LOVE AND DIVINE BLISS TO DATE!

Anyway, the Maharaj ji said so many other sweet things about us Krishna lovers. He was like, "We all sitting here for our Krishna; do you know in what roop y'all are sitting here? We're basically gopis here."

And I was like, "YES, YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT!!!!" It made me so happy for real!!!!!

Sooo, after the pravachan, there was kirtan. And each one of us, men and women likewise, danced our hearts out for our Kanha. It was so blissful, y'all. Dancing without a care in the world with complete strangers tied to each other with a single thread of love for our one and only Keshav; it was one of the rare times when I've felt truly joyous... 💫

At midnight, we all welcomed our Kanha by doing mandir parikrama. After the festivities were over, we had prasad after thanking Krishna for being with us always <3

Thus ended the best day of my life...🌺

Day 3:

The Janmashtami hangover was still there when we got ready for Seva Kunj again. We did kirtan there again before having prasad. Then in the evening, we left for ISKCON.

Now, I don't have any words to describe how freaking beautiful and ethereal our sakha looked there! Like, he looks so perfect that you can't help but tear up...✨ His beautiful lotus eyes legit glimmer at you overflowing with love. There's nothing more peaceful than just staring at his face there for real. Everything in ISKCON was so freaking beautiful; simple exquisite. All the lovely mural paintings, the mesmerising idols, the gorgeous architecture; I could spend the rest of my life there without any regrets.

Moving on, we left ISKCON for Prem Mandir.

F. I. N. A. L. L. Y

And there, I legit became oblivious to my surroundings. Like, my friend legit had to guide me through cuz I was in a trance-like state. The freaking delightful and charming statues showing different phases of my Keshav's life looked as if they were speaking to me. The lovely statues of Radha Rani with her Kanha were just so so so pretty! The temple interior gave heaven vibes for real. Like, I just don't have the words to describe how happy and tranquil I felt in there despite the crowd... ❤️ I completely lost my heart and soul to the Makhan Chor that day...💫 Did that quite happily, I'm telling ya.

Thus ended another glorious day.

Day 4:

The day I've probably been the most heartbroken, cuz that's the day we left Vrindavan.

But not before visiting Nidhi Van. Y'all, if anyone ever tells me Krishna is mythology, I'm cutting their throats off without batting an eyelash. Like, you literally FEEL Kanha walking beside you and caressing your arms lovingly as you walk through Nidhi Van! The trees there, gracefully twisted and intertwined with each other, are a living testimony of our Kanha's raas with his Radhe and sakhis... ✨ It was just so soothing to feel His presence right next to you there!!!! I'm just repeating the same thing again and again, cuz that's basically what you live there in the land of Keshav 🥹❤️

Anyway, melancholy struck immediately after we left Nidhi Van cuz yeah, we left Vrindavan... Yeah... It was heartbreaking. Like, yeah, He is with me always, every day, every second. But I LEFT VRINDAVAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT!? Also, it was raining cats and dogs when we left. Call me over-dramatic, but I'm just gonna assume that it was my Keshav's bittersweet way of sending me off.

Anyway, we left for Radha Kund where we stayed at a मठ. In the evening, we went to see Radha Kund and Shyam Kund. Again, I felt His mischievous blissful presence pulling my leg right there <3 I felt my sakha lingering beside me, smiling at me with all His love. And I have no idea what overcame me, but I started singing 'Natnagar ki hai Saari Leela' aloud. Like, I hope no one minded that. But at the moment, my mind couldn't think of anything or anyone else but my Manmohana for real.

And yet another day in Braj passed by.

Day 5:

Our last day in Braj. We went to Barsana!!! We visited the Radha Rani Temple, of our very own Madanmohini... ❤️ The temple is so beautiful, y'all. Architecturally, aesthetically, and spiritually; it's simply perfect! And our Radha Rani, oufff! Unke baare me kya hi kahun? She's ever gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, and whatnot! 🤩 And we both laughed about how Kanha is such a simp for her soooo, yeah!

The rest of the day, it simply rained. So we couldn't do much. But yeah, I listened to songs thinking about the past couple of days I spent with my Keshav himself... 💫

And yeah, the next day we left Braj... No further elaboration.

Photo/Video Dump:

My Vrindavan trip in short

I MISS THAT PLACE SO MUCH ASDFGHJKL!

P.S. I called up my bestie @pragyan05 and made her ugly cry by telling her about my Vrindavan trip 😌 I mean, why should I suffer alone.

@cheolliepdf @kanhapriya @krishakamal @krishna-premi @krishna-priyatama @krishnasamyuta @swayamev @stardustkrishnaverse @mindless-tirade @satakshiwrites-blog @janaknandini-singh999 @etherealmistt @celestesinsight @saanjh-ki-dulhan @whaelien @idllyastuff @kimbapeukidding @iwanttobeagopi @desi-yearning @ramayantika @pragyan05 @sambhavami

[krishna-sangini]

So. Freaking. True. It's like i know he's around, but the feeling when he's actually there is a whole different thing.. now i wanna cry :)

At this point, I don't need the "krishn toh har jage hai", I need him to be in front of me so I can cry in his arms and rest on his lap and he can listen to everything I have to say

Physically bhi aa jao na kanha, ab bhaut ho gya.

[misssclumsy]

Desi parents be like "tumne abhi duniya dekhi kanha hai" and won't let you see duniya as well.

[zeherili-ankhein]

Ok so I got inspired by @desigurlie 's comment and in general every other comments on @whysatoru 's post

And here's some incorrect quotes T_T

#1

Yudhishthir: Ahh it's good to see you Vasudev-

Krishna: Do you wanna know how much I love Arjun?

Yudhishthir:

Krishna: *continues to spew out a 56 page essay about how much he loves Arjun*

Arjun: .... please stop I beg you

#2

Balaram: Kanha you need to-

Krishna: Dau do you wanna know how much I love Arjun?

Balaram:

Krishna:

#3

Draupadi: Keshava-

Krishna: dO yOu WaNnA kNoW hOw MuCh I lOvE aRjUn

Draupadi: *sigh*

#4

Duryodhan: I-

Krishna: DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE ARJUN

Krishna: DO YOU??

Krishna: DO YOUU??

Krishna: SAY YOU DO??

Duryodhan: *scared for his dear life* Wha-

#5

Krishna: DO YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE ARJUN OH MY ME DO YOUUU

Arjun: *who's really really tired and embarrassed at this point* Madhav stop-

Krishna: *an entire 8 book novel series about how much he loves Arjun*

#6

*randomly on the middle of the night*

Krishna: do you wanna know how much I love Arjun?

Literally everyone else: *reciting the 8 book novel about how much Krishna loves Arjun*

....

Ok bye-

[desikanya]

Sometimes I think coming to Tumblr just feels right, I have no one to talk to in real life. So whenever I have a bad day, I come here and see @groovycynicalcheesecake spam and her sweet nick names for me and it makes my day, I see @sajra-savera sharing her thoughts, or what she's doing, and suddenly I have a smile, I see @lalennI and it instantly makes me think how cool is she, I see @syamakrishna wrote something about Kanha and it made me happy, @depressed-bi-twerking shared her music and it made me feel good, I talked with @kanha-ki-fangirl @sumiyxx @lotuseaterwhowistlesinthedark and my mood just got better. My mutuals make my day better without even knowing it, I feel seen with them, and I think at least someone out there is happy to talk to me too. I hope you guys know how much you all mean to me, I feel so glad to have you guys. Love you 3000<33

[janaknandini-singh999]

After Krishna left for Dwarka, Radha used to keep herself a lot busier than usual; doing her chores back in Vrindavan, talking to the trees finding Krishna in everything, taking care of the people and animals. At night she would go to her room and sit in front of the mirror, sigh and take out her shringaar. Tonight, as soon as she looked into her reflection, it was her Kanha smiling at her.

"How's Dwarka dheesh doing?" she carefully kept her tone as teasing, afraid that if he suspects even a little bit of sadness then he will come running to her right away, leaving everything behind

"Oh please, Radhe. You should come sometime, you used to before but you barely do now."

Radha cupped Kanha's cheek in the mirror

"My sweet mohana, you know I can't. It's my duty to give you and your ashtabharya all the space and love," laughing, she added a little wistfully "As it is I don't really have a good reputation out here. Krishna's lover. But why? Krishna has millions of lovers. The whole brahmaand is his lover. Why worship one exclusively with him? If he loves all his lovers equally then why just worship this Radha with him? She isn't even his wife. Unlike Mahadev and Parvati, they aren't even legitima-"

"Radhe." Krishna stopped her with tears in his eyes

Radha, hurting as much as him, apologized and continued "but it is true, my love. People only view love as black or white. They think marriage is sanctity when it is the bond that is. Not the label."

Nodding, Krishna whispered "do you miss me?"

She laughed till there were tears in her eyes too "Oh Kanha, you are everywhere I look. Every time I breathe."

"Then why talk to me like this? Why summon me here?"

"Because you are everywhere. Everywhere but right here."

Kanha's eyes softened "I am within you, sakhi. Always."

Nodding and smiling, she looked away to wipe her tears "yes yes, I know that." she looked back in Kanha's eyes "only if I could somehow tell that to Yashoda maiya, Nand baba and all the gopiyan and people here. Maiya is inconsolable, kanha. She cries and says 'that boy always tricks me. I saw the universe in his mouth when he was a child. Now wherever I look, I see him. But I just want him to come steal my makhan. Kanha, where are you? I promise I'll never scold you.'

Krishna touches the mirror ever so gently

"Kanha, they think you are not real when you are everywhere. They think it's an illusion and all they do is weep."

"But they forgot that Maya is Krishna and Mohana is Krishna. Everything that involves krishna is as real as the morpankh falling from the sky quietly into their palms when they think of Him." Radha and krishna whisper at the same time

"Tomorrow the Pandavas and Kauravas fight and I'm Arjuna's saarthi. After killing Kansa mama, the trajectory of my life has changed completely. But I miss Vrindavan, Kishori. I honestly don't even know what to do. They call me God but forget I'm a human in this avatar too. All I can feel is Gandhari's pain. Even if she hates me with everything she has and cursed me for my existence but I just can't help but feel for her so deeply. What can I do?" he sobs

"What Kauravas did was wrong but Gandhari is a mother, kanha. Her pain can't be measured. It is unbearable but justified. But so is your karma and dharma. Whatever you do will be remembered forever. They all need you. So go, sakha. Do what needs to be done. I believe in you. I love you. We all do."

Krishna smiled through the tears

Radha whispered "we parted physically to fulfill our dharma in this lifetime but you know? I.. I'm just so tired, Kanha. It's been so long. I just want to go home. To Goloka. Our home. I feel my purpose here is coming to an end..."

"So is mine, Radhe.. so is mine. We are One." Kanha clutched the mirror closer to his chest and Radha did too - both of them in an eternal embrace.

"We will go home very soon. To everyone we love, finally. It's my vachan, sakhi."

[stardustkrishnaverse]

okay inspired by this post

🦚 MY HCS ABT HOW KRISHNA TEXTS 🦚

- sends you cheesy rizz like 'did it hurt when you fell from swarg 😩💘✨️' BUT IT WORKS EVERY TIME

- AND SOMETIMES ITS RLY SMOOTH FR

- sends outdated memes

- when you send meme spam he reacts to each one of them individually

- the most charming sweetheart texter ever

- wants all ur attention

- *sends cute couple activities or cafes* thought of you sakhi~ 🥰

- dramatic af

- also top quality advice for literally every life problem

- pvt snapchat story for gopis and gopas where kanha posts daily fit pics hahaha (he know its the 💅kanha thirst💅 grp fr lool)

-- > takes a selfie with radharani literally every time he sees her and posts it with caption 'RADHE ❤️'

-- > (leads to some rly funny candids of radharani 🤭🤭)

y/n: *sends cute pic of self*

krishna : *sends selfie of him swooning* caption: AAAAAAHHHHHHH MY HEARRTTTTT 😩😩😩😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵💘💘💘💘💘🫶🫶🫶🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💞💕💕💕💞💞😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕💓💓💓💓💝💝💝💝💝

krishna : SAKHI IM DYING

y/n : OMG WHAT

y/n : KANHA???

y/n : ?????

y/n : WHERE R U

y/n : BALDAU DOESNT KNOW HWERE U ARE EITHER 😭😭😭

y/n : TELL ME IF UR OKAY

[10hrs later]

krishna : dying without ur love 😩👌

[left on seen]

krishna : SAKHI COME BACK

krishna : 🚨🚨🚨 DANCE PARTY DROP EVERYTHING NOW 🕺💃🪩 🚨🚨🚨

y/n : *sends a meme that's not even that funny tbh*

krishna: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

krishna : you're so funny sakhi~~

krishna : 🤣🤣😂😂

krishna : hey sakhi have u seen my flute anywhere i can't find itttt 😭😭😭😭

krishna : nvm it was in my dhoti waistband

krishna : silly me !

krishna : 😆

krishna : got worried for a sec !

- its all for the attention of his beloved sakhis 🥰

y/n : ...yknow u don't have to try so hard u already got me whipped 😂

BONUS BALARAM:

- literally everyones contact name for him is 'Dau'

- sophisticated texter, reacts to all ur msgs with 👍 emoji

- replies either the second u msg him or 5mins after with profuse apologies for late response

- daily hydration reminders

- daily bedtime reminders

- daily "Sorry, but have you seen Kanha anywhere?"

- "I have posted you some herbal tea and face masks. Take care of yourself, you deserve it!"

- will cook for u in exam szn

- 'Some positivity for your day 🥰' *sends 7 cat vids*

- on ur speed dial

- on everyones speed dial

[krishna-sangini]

Why is this so trueeee asdfghjkl!!!!

Like, Keshav, you planning something big for us, love?

good morning, im in love with my beloved kanha

[ceramicteapot]

i sit with my back pressed to the wall. i lean against the tables when i stand, slouch down in chairs, and need something to clutch as i sleep. i put my head on your shoulder when we sit side by side.

don't you see how tired i am? how i can't even hold myself up?

how i'm silently asking to be loved?

taglist-

@kanha-sakhi, @rheas-chaos-motivation, @kai-the-first, @missgirlicous, @islyingtoyou

NOTE- be notified everytime i post by joining my TAGLIST

[theramblergal]

Thoughts on Arjun Subhadra and how do you think the relationship between subhadra and other Pandavas would have been?

Arjuna and Subhadra to me, have this sweet sort of love. Not any less passionate than their siblings' loves, but a deep and passionate and sweet love like rasmalai, like the baby blue of the sky, like the fond half-smiles you give someone you love endlessly, like the soft feel of silken flower petals in your fingers.

Something deep and abiding like the stillness of a placid lake, hiding its true depth until obstacles rock it; the calm is broken but it always returns to that placid nature that reflects what you want to see.

Even though Subhadra is perceived as passive, especially in comparison to Arjuna's other wives, she is more like a strong-rooted tree, that bows to the wind but stands still in the face of adversities.

I think Subhadra fell first. Having heard of the gentle youngest son of her aunt, and hearing a soft fondness in her Bhrata Kanha's words when speaking of him, it was the beginning of her sweet affection for him. Arjuna was definitely head over heels for her by the time of their marriage, but I think it took him a few years to nurture and recognise the softness he had towards her, more than the affection he felt for his other Yadava cousins.

As for the other Pandavas:

Yudhishthira: Mutual respect, I would say. Subhadra gives him thoughtful advice when dealing with inter-kingdom politics, especially if the royals are related to them and tensions within the family itself. Being a Vrishni herself, and the fact that the Yadavas are actually a conglomerate of different clans, she would definitely have experience smoothening tensions within the family. Yudhishthira is fond of her, and Subhadra respects him, but they're not super close.

Bhima: Bhima loves everyone with a fierce sort of love, of course. He was probably one of the first people to recognise the mutual feelings between them, so he would gently rib Arjuna whenever they visited Dvaraka/Mathura before they were married. Subhadra acts as his sounding board whenever he wants to make/do something for anyone in the family. She occasionally joins him in the kitchen.

Nakula: He and Subhadra are probably the closest to each other. They tease Arjuna mercilessly and prank him often, which Arjuna just accepts with a fond shake of his head (Kanha: *mock gasp* Partha, you need to retaliate, you're the best friend of the best prankster in the universe, don't let me down!) She's his go-to person when he's feeling insecure about anything, and she goes to him when she needs romance tips, especially when dealing with Arjuna.

Sahadeva: They chat. A lot. About the most random of things, they debate philosophy and ethics and politics, and anything under the sun. They're super protective of each other too, and she understands the twins better than most. If there are times Sahadeva isn't willing to talk, she will fill the silence with the most random of stories.

Ahh, can't forget her co-wives and sisters-in-law.

Krishnaa: She's the closest to Krishnaa, of course. Krishnaa will not tolerate a word against her, even if it's from their family members. Say the slightest negative word about her? The empress will be standing behind you, her normally gentle expression thunderous. They spend the most time together, and Subhadra assists her Jiji in all her duties. I like to headcanon that she and Krishnaa were pregnant at the same time with Shrutakarma and Abhimanyu, with the two of them being weeks/months apart. They also team up against Arjuna a lot.

Devika: She helped Subhadra adjust to life in Indraprastha; they also play board games often. Their way of unwinding after stressful days. While their duties don't normally intersect, they try to spend time together outside of mealtimes. Devika sometimes seeks out Subhadra to remind herself that her family does love her (her relationship with her maternal family was pretty fracticious), and Subhadra coming from a large family knows the right way to reassure her.

Hidimbaa: They've met only a few times, because Hidimbaa rarely visits Indraprastha, but Subhadra respects her immensely. She journeyed once at the beginning of the exile to ask her advice on how to raise Abhimanyu alone and bear the separation from her husband. (Most of her sisters-in-law did that as well, considering that Hidimbaa was the only one who had experience in that.)

Valandharaa: In my mind, she looks over the religious aspects of the kingdom, from the pujas to the yajnas and everything else. So Subhadra often seeks her out when she needs a little bit of calm and they both perform small pujas together in silence. Valandharaa often also mock-scolds Subhadra for her irreverence towards her brothers who are the literal lords of the universe, but it's all in good faith.

Ulupi: They get along like a house on fire. Ulupi takes Subhadra diving in the Yamuna when she visits Indraprastha, and they spend time by Ulupi describing the waterlife and they have conversations about their differing customs between the Nagas and the humans. Ulupi is intimidating to most; Subhadra is not fooled, however. She arranges for Arjuna to be "stolen away" by Ulupi on occasion, and it's become a running joke by now.

Chitrangada: They're a little distant, not because of any slights against each other but simply because they don't have many things in common and Chitrangada very rarely visits Indraprastha. They sometimes exchange tips on warfare, but very rarely. A running inside joke between them about their names being Chitra does exist though. (After the war though, even though they live in the same complexes, Chitrangada cannot bring herself to speak to Subhadra because her son is still alive. Probably the same for most of her sisters-in-law.)

Karenumati: It took time for Renu to warm to Subhadra because of her father's hatred of the Yadavas. But they bond over being the youngest daughters-in-law of Pandu, even though Subhadra sometimes has trouble seeing Renu as little more than her younger sister who should be cared for. She secretly likes coddling Renu because she's been the younger sister for so long.

Vijayaa: Subhadra likes watching Vijayaa at work, it's pretty soothing. She always makes sure Vijayaa has clean clothes, because her dresses tend to get messy when she's fussing around with something. Subhadra also loves it when Vijayaa tells stories to the children, and she always sticks around to hear them. She falls asleep most of the time, and Vijayaa smiles fondly at her and calls Arjuna to carry her to their chambers.

Welp, long again. Ahhh I have so many headcanons for the wives of the Pandavas I really need to jot them down.

[krsnaradhika]

Murmuring humare saath shri raghunath under my breath at every step of my life wasn't what I originally planned but it surely has proved out to be the best thing ngl.

[krishna-sangini]

My All For You

The dark grey clouds The light blue sky The heavy mist shroud and the playful lies The caressing breeze The soothing rain All of these breathe through your eyes again

The joyful yellow The serene blue The reserved black The pleasant flute The peacock feather and the kadamba tree Bring back the images of your smiling face

The elegant lotus with its dainty pink The pious tulsi with her blessed green The beads of Vaijayanti with their tranquil white Bear the reflection of your beatific light

My longing eyes with your carvings in them My restless heart pulsating with your breaths My battered soul healing with your grace My sanguine self waiting for your blissful embrace...✧

-T.P.N.

------------------------------

Something I finished writing for my Keshav yesterday...❤️

Idk wth is wrong with me, but I'm freaking blushing in front of my roomie while typing this as I listen to 'O Rangrez'.

Asdfghjkl! Keshav, YOU LIKE THIS?!🫠

[thedesirenaissance]

The Awaited Return

A piercing scream echoed through the night, slicing through the pin-drop silence of the night. Just then, a girl's limp body is dumped in an alleyway, bruised and broken, by 2 men, no, demons, dressed as humans. They laugh around, while one of them land a kick to the girl's stomach, as she breathes her last. Her last prayer to her murlidhar, Oh Kanha, when will you return? You will avenge me, right? And so, she dies, remembering her murlidhar.

A little girl, barely 5 years old, clutches her Krishna plushie, as the demon, whom she calls baba strangles her maa. She stares at her maa, with her knees curled up to her chest, fingers tightly clutching the Krishna plushie, tears brimming at the corners of her eyes. Then, with a call for her giridhar , her mother breathed her last. The devil's eyes then dart to his daughter, his own flesh and blood, as he strangles his little daughter, to death. Even in death, the little girl, clutched her Krishna, as her body turned blue, just like her gopal.

In a lone classroom, a girl, no, not a girl, a student, barely 15 years old, cries, while clutching her mouth, to muffle her screams, as the devil, dressed as her guru does unspeakable horror to her. She, who only wanted to make her parents proud, herself proud. She, who only wanted to do better, now laid there, feeling dumb, feeling betrayed. What is her fault? She trusted a devil, dressed as a man. She goes home, rubs herself raw in the shower, while she cries to her kanha, How will long will you make us wait, kanha? Please return.

A woman, holds the knife in one hand, shaking tremendously, as tears drip down her eyes. Her phone buzzes continuously, but she doesn't dare open them. Who would want to see themselves being called disgusting and vile names? What was her fault, one might ask. Her fault was, she trusted a man, a friend, rather, a devil. She slices her wrist, does the unthinkable. I apologize Kanha, I apologize. I just couldn't save myself, without you in this world.

Then, the fateful night came. The night was dark, not a single star in the sky. The rain pouring, the winds blowing, it resembled that fateful day. An old, feeble woman, in her 80s thought, woh aarahe hain aaj, with a smile on her face, as she put a garland over her murlidhar's murti. The reign of terror was coming to an end. Elsewhere, a woman was crying out in pain, as the midwives urged her to push harder. The woman could only handle so much more. Still she pushed, she pushed through the pain, for her soon-to-be born child. Then, she heard it. A cry, the cry of her child, her life. She breathed a sigh of relief, as the midwife exclaimed, "Lalla huwa hain! Mithai batwao!"

The woman finally closed her eyes, let darkness overcome her. But, no, not darkness, a figure, with 4 hands, holding a lotus on one, a mace in one, a shankh in another and... the sudarshan chakra in another. Madhav, she thought, madhav paid me his darshan. Tears welled in her eyes. "Maa!" She heard it. The silhouette called her "maa". Her madhav called her "maa." Then, it clicked.

Yada yada hi dharmasya glanirbhavati bharata | Abhythanamadharmasya tadatmanam srijamyaham ||

Paritranaya sadhunang vinashay cha dushkritam | Dharmasangsthapanarthay sambhabami yuge yuge ||

(Inspired by a fic I saw, if I find it again, I'll tag the creator.)

[main-koi-aisa-geet-gaun]

Heyyyy! How's sem2 going? I know ur not online that much here but I hope ur busy growing! And sath mai taking care of ur self, also just a gentle reminder u are loved here 🫶 and I miss you 🥹

hiiiii swap!!! ive missed you too !!

felt sooo good to see your sweet message (its the first thing i saw when i opened tumblr lol)🫶 thanks for checking in on me 💗💗

hope youre doing great and coping well with college and stuff ❤️❤️

2nd year(ik you meant sem 3) has been soooooooooo busy and hectic... have my midsems in a few days.... itna saara syllabus cover karna hai 😭😭😭 its been pretty manageable ab tak toh(except for dsa, uski lab is killing me 😭), but i want to change my situation from 'barely surviving' to 'happy and thriving' (tbh idek if this makes any sense lol)

i miss my tumblr friends sm, but mujhe tumblr kholne tak ka bhi time nahi milta kyunki insta chalane mein hi itna time waste ho jaata hai like, my brain knows insta is bad for me aur itni baar toh insta chalake fomo bhi hone lag jaata hai aur mood bhi kharab ho jata hai lol fir bhi i keep going back to it... for the past few weeks ive been trying to use my phone lesser, which is kinda working BUT mera goal ye hai ki agar main social media use bhi kar rahi hoon, toh let it be something thats actually not that time consuming, like pinterest or tumblr instead of yt or insta (basically brainrot kam kar doon apna 😭)

also ive been doing kanha seva at home, thats going well!

im so sorry if this became a rant lol... but it felt soo good to be able to talk to you!! hope to be more regular in the future hehe...

[futuretherapoo]

Just saw your post

It'll be okay ... Don't quit pls... I've tried to quit too ... A lot of times but believe me NONE OF THE OUTCOMES were good.... Pls don't quit... You've friends here and even if you don't.... I ... A random stranger... I believe in you.... I believe and I mosy surely know that you'll do great in life... U just need to calm down a bit and pls rethink abt this decision... Pls don't take any wrong decisions

Kanha will always protect and guide you... Pls have faith in yourself and in him... Everything will turn out right

Hii. Thank you so much for sending me this. I'm sorry you guys had to see that post- I didn't think anyone would since I didn't add any tags. I'm okay now, I've just... Given up on trying. Thank you so much for caring and sending these messages even though you don't know me, because I know people irl won't give a damn

It means a lot. Really. May God bless your soul. Once again, thank you.