#just- a queer love story about finding a safe place and a character who is being loved through his anxiety

[mykonossalome]

„I wish to always be a safe place for you to close your eyes and rest.“ (PotS, p. 243)

[relaxxattack]

Piggybacking off the last anon, what is it you like about Jane so much? I find my feelings on her kind of mixed but I lean towards positive.

okay i haven’t read act six in probably like 5 years so bear with me here. *cracks knuckles*

jane is sooo so interesting and it’s really a shame people miss like everything fun about her.

pre-scratch she used her detective work to literally succeed at tearing down the crocker cooperation, to the point that HIC has to fucking abandon ship and head into another universe to have another shot at her evil empire. pre-scratch jane is also fucking hilarious! if you didnt enjoy her antics with john as nannasprite you must just have no heart

meanwhile HIC breaches a new universe, and her FIRST fucking order of business is to NEUTRALIZE JANE CROCKER because of how goddamn detrimental she was to HIC’s plans the first time around.

not ONLY does HIC pump subliminal messaging and brainwashing into nearly every aspect of jane’s life, she also tries to straight up mind control her basically whenever possible! she ALSO sends assassination attempts after jane 24/7! (people will seriously try to say that jane lived a safe normal life… as if she wasn’t almost killed by walking into her backyard.) this is because HIC is fucking scared of jane, as she very well should be!

jane is also NOT a boring weepy annoying crybaby like everyone and their mother complains about. jane is literally the most fucking supportive friend and emotion-repressing dumbass you could ever hope to meet. jane combines john’s emotional repression and jade’s intentional cheerfulness together into one of the most fucked up cases of emotional repression in the whole comic

act 6 suffers from a LOT of shitty writing choices, but it’s not jane’s fault the whole act turns into a soap opera— and she’s ALSO not the only one who acts all soap-opera-y either! literally all of the alpha kids suffer from this, people just like jane the least so they project it all onto her. despite the fact that she did her very fucking best to NEVER talk about her feelings, to the point where she ONLY started telling people about shit when she was mind-controlled or took mind altering substances to make her do so! and you can say “ohhh that’s stupid she shouldn’t repress things in the first place how dumb” but, one she’s sixteen, and two, everyone eats that shit up when it comes from like. literally any other character.

people (cough hs2 writers) act like she would actually be “pushy” with a relationship on jake— as if she wasn’t literally the one who helped him make the decision to explore dating dirk?? because she thought it was the right thing to do???

jane is incredibly thoughtful and mature and people really throw all of those traits out of the window with preference for a version of the story where she Comes Inbetween Their Fave Gay Pairing as if she wasn’t, again, the one who got them together. jane is also extremely interesting in terms of queerness; she’s got the makings of a really interesting arc, not to mention she’s the only human girl that dresses mainly masc! there’s a lot there that people just don’t care to explore.

people just have less patience for the prospit kids in general. not to mention homestuck fans love to be misogynistic and berate jane for stuff they love the men doing, or claim she’s coming between them when she’s not, etc etc. and then because no one was writing fun meta posts about her, nobody ever rereads the comic to grab little scenes or lines to expand the online discussion about her! and then because there’s no discussion about her, people assume she’s boring and don’t go looking for bits to start discussing, which cycles on and on forever until we have the ripple effects we see of that misogyny today. which mostly consists of, “oh i hate jane because she was a villain is hs2”, or, “i know hs2 isn’t canon but i still don’t care for jane because she doesn’t do anything that interests me.” (and she’s only not interesting because of the cycle i mentioned before causing NO ONE to have meta discussion about her).

idk, it’s been a while since ive read so i could be talking out my ass but that’s what i’ve got.

TL;DR: jane is fucking COOL, she just suffers from intentional fandom ignorance. and she’s also a canonically hot, fat, masc woman, so i don’t know what else you could possibly want.

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

I’ve seen someone else mention this, but I also wanted to talk about this

The erasure of queerness in the movie is something I definitely did not expect.

Sure, it’s a love story between two men, but grab Alex and Henry and make them a man and a woman, the movie doesn’t change much. Maybe monarchy instead of being homophobic and racist now it’s only racist, and they hate Alex not because he’s a man but because he’s brown. They kept it a secret because of monarchy’s racism, but love triumphs at the end. That’s why the movie didn’t hit as hard as the book. The movie is just some forbidden love movie, rwrb is a book where the main characters are in a forbidden relationship, but it’s not the whole point of the book.

Alex discovering his sexuality, Nora being bisexual, whatever Pez had going on, whatever June and Nora had going on, Alex learning about queer history, the historical lgbt love letters at the ends of their e-mails, all the references to queer history and literature, THE SHELTERS, monarchy’s homophobia (yes, it appears on the movie but it’s really glossed over. It doesn’t show just how homophobic they actually are in the book), Alex stating how he knows more about himself the more intimate (both in the sexual and non sexual sense) he is with Henry, Luna being gay and unapologetic about it and being exactly Alex’s queer role model, even before Alex knew he was queer himself, THE FUCKING SHELTERS

I’m so so mad about the shelters being missing.

Henry and Pez made shelters for lgbt youth, so they can never feel as alone as Henry once felt, so they can always have a safe space so they know there’s nothing wrong with them no matter what the adults in their life might say, no matter what the preacher or their classmates or the right wing politicians in their tv might say, where they can find hope, and friends, and a home if they never had one before, or at least, one where they could truly be themselves. The shelters are, I would say, crucial to Henry’s character development. He went from hiding, believing being gay was “the most unforgivable part of him”, not even trying to come out because he just succumbed to live an unhappy life in the closet, to someone who’s out, living with his boyfriend and running lgbt shelters with his best friend so young queer people can move past all the things he felt and believed time ago, so they know they are perfectly normal and loved and safe in there, as long as Henry and Pez are there they’re safe, they don’t have to hide anymore.

Henry became the queer elder he needed in his life when he was younger. The lgbt adult who could tell him than it would get better, no matter how bad it was at the moment, no matter if he couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, because it was there, he just had to hold on a bit more. Than there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

Another thing than I seen changed than a normal person might not notice, but I did, because im obsessed, is the karaoke scene.

In the book, it takes place in something resembling a gay bar (maybe not exactly, but it’s full of queer people), and look at this

Three rounds of shots appear —one from a drunk bachelorette party, one from a herd of surly butch chicks at the bar, and one from a table of drag queens. They raise a toast, and Alex feels more welcomed than he ever has before, even at his family’s victory rallies.

Look again

and Alex feels more welcomed than he ever has before, even at his family’s victory rallies.

This book is about about finding community, finding yourself, finding love and letting yourself accept that love.

Do you think Alex in the movie has felt “more welcomed than he ever has before, even at his family’s victory rallies” at any point? Has he been with another queer person in the whole movie, except Henry, at all?? Because Nora’ sexuality was not mentioned at all no references nothing and with the whole Pez thing everyone could see Nora as just straight

Henry and Alex in the movie are kind of without community, alienated from it, they are, in my personal opinion, the kind of gay people republicans would consider “good gay people” who “don’t shove it on everyone’s faces and just wanna be left alone” (in the rwrb universe where they exist and are real not actual republican people watching the movie). They don’t really take a role on the community, in the book, Alex and Henry being queer is an important part of themselves, again, Alex feeling like he knows himself better, Henry whole internalized homophobia, their shared interest for lgbt history and literature, Henry and Pez making the shelters, etc etc meanwhile in the movie Alex and Henry just happen to be gay and bisexual, but it’s no deeper than that.

And don’t get me started on creating Miguel, a queer character, and making him the one to leak the e-mails or smth instead of a republican candidate

[siblingskissing]

Ronance headcanons?

Ronance Headcanons

I have had the BIGGEST brain rot about these two, you guys don't even know, so please excuse my rambling session in this post. As always- feel free to share your headcanons, opinions, thoughts ideas, just be kind <3

-Robin is the biggest simp to ever exist. Nancy mentions liking a color? Guess who's suddenly adding it all over their wardrobe! A favourite food? She's already learned how to cook it. Allergic to something? Robin will destroy it with her bare hands and make it go extinct to protect her girl.

-Likewise, Nancy would and will kill for Robin (come on Robin tell her to kill for you she wants to)

-Their favourite dates include them sitting in one of their rooms, a movie or music playing as they discuss conspiracy theories or whatever story Nancy is working on

"There's been a ton of missing items from farms in the areas. Animals, tools, bales of hay-"

"could it be aliens?"

"Alie- Robin it's not aliens!"

"What? Interdimensional monsters are real but aliens aren't?"

-Many people assume Nancy would get annoyed by Robins carefree joke centered attitude but actually she calms down whenever Robin tries making jokes.

-She doesn't like when people don't take things seriously, but she knows Robin is taking it serious, but using humour to make sure they don't spiral with the problem

-their relationship definitely started off rocky but with some time, understanding and surprisingly really deep conversations they learn to appreciate the little things about one another.

-Robin loves Nancy's drive and her leadership skills. She makes sure that everyone takes her seriously and if the kids complain about Nancy being a hard ass she brings them back to listen.

"Nancy's not our boss!"

"No, but she's the one keeping you dipshits safe- she knows what she's doing so listen up and quit complaining"

-They kids listen to Robin more and so when she follows Nancy with no complaints, the kids unconsciously follow suit.

-When Nancy gets stressed/aggravated Robin will be there to lend her a shoulder. They're very much leader/Right Hand man coded to me.

-Nancy doesn't know much about queer culture so when she does eventually come out Robin is happy to talk to her about it and share what she knows.

"So we use Blue violets because Sappho used to describe women wearing garlands of them,"

"Sappho?"

"... Do you have a spar 3 hours so I can explain Sappho and Greek poetry to you?"

-They take all kinds of cute little Polaroids that they keep at Robins place

(examples of said Polaroids)

-Robins family is more supportive so often Nancy goes over there to spend the night

-when college comes up in discussions Robin mentions that she enjoyed investigating with Nancy, the research was fun when they didn't have death looming over them.

"Yeah, learning Russian to break the code was awesome- the torture kind of ruined it though-"

"The WHAT?"

-Nancy asks Robin 1000X if Robin is sure she wants to go to the same college/same field and Robin promises her that she isn't only going because of her.

"I'd follow you anywhere, but this is also for me- if I have to do one more customer service job I might kill someone."

-They love movie nights, curled up under a blanket watching whatever film they can find. Robin always finds the oddest ones and sometimes some really deep indie films. Nancy also enjoys the foreign films she can find and let's her choose.

-on nights Nancy chooses- she likes care free fun films. Nothing too heavy because she likes the simplicity

-Theyre a gross matching couple- but in a new fun way.

-Mat hing colors in their respective styles, using each other's clothes and making it go with their personal choices, matching patterns/designs.

-They also shared shoes sometimes

-On the 90s Nancy gets a more "Rachel from friends" style like this

-Robin eats it up like no one is watching and often has to hold back from just kissing her 24/7

(also I badly wanna do a look book of the characters so Please someone ask for that because I love fashion)

I definitely probably have more but here you are!!

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

remembering this Extremely correct post about how lis2 is the only game in the lis series where your choices actually matter and thinking about how ironic is that it's also a game where your playable character is so strikingly powerless. Sean is the only lis pov character who not only has no superhuman abilities, but has to share an environment with someone who has (confirmed, sorry Rachel) abilities of their own, someone he loves and wants to protect, someone who can do incredible things he'll never be able to do, making their already weird brother-brother parent-child dynamic a thousand times messier.

it's a huge shift for Sean--you can literally see it in the mechanics, which go from helping Daniel with tasks in the first episode to increasingly relying on his help in the rest. ep 4 is the one where Sean gets beaten up the most because he's the most separated from Daniel then, even the whole game begins with Sean beating Brett up for Daniel, before he kept ending up in situations where he's so wildly outclassed. it's all shit that interweaves with the powerlessness that already comes from being queer/brown/disabled in america, but the difference is that those are the result of oppressive systems and the people who enforce them, systems Sean is trying to break away from, but he can't break from Daniel, he loves Daniel, and Daniel isn't oppressive, he's just a little boy trying to love his brother as much as his brother loves him, protect him with the only tools he has

and it's terrifying. like, from the perspective of a character of Max or Alex, they're overwhelmed by their own powers, but the player is in control of them and can try to find a way to use them, even if it doesn't always work. Sean doesn't have that, he just have to live with being extremely aware of how vulnerable he is to Daniel losing control. the truly fucked-up thing it's not like Daniel ever means to hurt anyone, none of the powered lis characters do, their intentions are beneficial at best and mischievous at worst, it all just has such earthshaking affects on everyone around them. we don't see Chloe's inner monologue about all the ways Max alters her reality to keep her safe, we only get so much insight into the way Haven's Point's residents feel Alex messing about their emotions,

but Sean's perspective makes it extremely clear on what a roller coaster it is to have someone with abilities to shaping your life like this, as if you're sharing your world and your heart with a tornado, a wonder and a terror all at once. idk, there just aren't that many superpower stories with this kind of look about what it's like to be on the outside looking in on godhood, certainly not to this degree, not with the focus on how intense it is, like the difference between standing in the eye of the hurricane and being caught outside. I honestly think that's one of the reasons people are dicks about this game, they don't like that feeling of helplessness, they get used to Max and Alex's incredible abilities and it's a very different feeling to have so much of your story tied to a character out of control instead.

but Sean is at once the most powerful playable character in the lis series if "power" means power over how the story plays out, over destiny. because as has been mentioned, your choices in lis2 really do matter more than any other game. it's not power that comes from what he can do, it's his relationship with Daniel, it's whether he's able to maintain high enough brotherhood to get Daniel to do some things and figure out what to do when he can't convince Daniel on others. it's whether he's shaping them both into people who will give up their combined power to the very systems they're running from or if he'll die trying to do what he thinks is best or if he'll take his control back by giving up his control, in a way, trusting that Daniel has what it takes to protect them both, and doing what's necessary to guide Daniel to that place where he can do that.

he has to choose what smaller, emotional influences he's going to have in order to build up rather than more direct displays of power. and it works, because lis series has always been all about how messy, human relationships can change and destroy so much more psychic abilities ever could by themselves--i honestly believe that no one game encapsulates that quite the way lis2 does.

[respectthepetty]

I was going to respond to @waitmyturtles' ask about if a person should finish Step by Step, but instead of taking that post hostage, let me be honest on my own post:

Step by Step has problems.

Step by Step isn't perfect.

Step by Step has pacing issues.

Step by Step's timeline is all over the place.

Step by Step's second couple was not fleshed out.

and yet . . .

Step by Step has consistently stated that being gay is its biggest problem.

AND I LOVE THAT!

A BL about how being gay is a problem in an industry profiting off of gay stories is what I'm showing up for each week. Mostly when it directly stated that in the series, only to have to be edited due to fan outrage.

Put being an actual gay man in the BL industry is a problem.

Jeng being an actual gay man in a company that made a BL to promote a product is a problem.

Pat being an actual gay man, who successfully marketed a product using the BL concept he was adamantly against yet pulled off with a limited budget and time, rising to a leadership position is a problem.

All was fine and dandy when we were watching a BL about two men falling in love and providing each other balance, but the problems started to spring up when the story became about gay men trying to balance their work with their lives.

The pacing fell apart as their work started to take over their lives and everything work related sped up as their personal stories stopped.

The timeline became muffled as life and emotions started to cut into their work. PAT FORGOT HIS OWN BIRTHDAY because time escaped him as we dug further into the corporate world.

The second couple fell apart before they even started as the show began to tell us that life-work integration was never going to work

when

you

are

gay

especially in spaces that want to profit off of the queer community without openly accepting its members in those spaces.

A gay man can't integrate his life into a job that doesn't want to accept that actual gay men exist.

It's performative action at its finest, and it demands that queer people become compliant in their own oppression.

Jeng never caused a problem at work, yet those men sat there and told him their biggest problem with him was that he was gay. Then they made Jeng apologize for it.

Put never caused a problem at work, yet his manager told him that revealing he was in a gay relationship was going to be an issue. Then he pushed Put back in the closet.

Two years ago, both of them sacrificed their relationship and their lives for work, and as result, their entire lives became their work.

They lost track of time. They missed important moments happening in their family and friend's lives. Entire events passed without them being present. They had to compromise themselves to succeed.

And we witnessed that happening to Pat until he realized he didn't want to be manipulated into doubting his skills, his work, or himself.

I'm sticking around to see what justice this show brings to its characters who gave up everything just to be left with nothing.

But I stuck around because this show told us from the very first line in the very first scene what it was about.

This wasn't a story about falling in love while balancing each other out. This was a story about trying to find a balance between a job that doesn't want to accept your life exists and a life that can't exist because of your job.

One gives you security.

And the other makes you feel safe.

Pat made his choice.

Now it's time for Jeng to make his.

[imsiriuslyreading]

i keep seeing people on tumblr saying “if you like harry potter you are a bad person” “anyone who likes harry potter should go to hell” “liking harry potter makes u a transphobe btw” and it really bothers me to be lumped prejudicially like this but also most people making these posts are trans and i’m like ok fair of you to be pissed at j*r but… i just read silly fanfic on the internet and reblog queer af art of characters she spent all but three pages on… i get that the books are rife with the author’s prejudices and bigotry but we literally *fix* all that stuff in fan work…. why do i have to be treated like a literal fascist you won’t even have a convo with me just because ur making a blanket statement? makes my blood boil. i just want to enjoy gay fanfic idk about what the transphobic cunt says… how do you cope with this, if ever?

hello! how are ya?

oh boy do i have thoughts on this.

recently, i've been thinking a lot about this.

there have been a lot of assumptions made without me actually being asked what my thoughts on this are, so I'll jump on this and tell you what I think.

i think queer and trans people, people of colour, along with other 'minority' groups have a lot to be furious with her about. I think she's a despicable excuse for a human and the way she has acted so dangerously to the group of people who needed her stories the most growing up is one of the saddest things to happen in our lifetime.

as a queer arab woman in this space, i often ask myself how do I balance and walk the line of engaging in fandom whilst keeping true to my beliefs and protecting the people in this space. i think it's different for each and every person, but what I know for sure is that if there's one thing JKR hates, it's the queers. its the lgbtqia+ gang.

something I think about a lot is that making this place what it is for us and our trans friends is one of my favourite parts of finding fandom. Being able to facilitate and offer safe spaces for people who are targeted is another.

so i think one of the most fierce and beautiful ways we can and should reclaim this world from her is by being as loud and as proud here as we can. i don't think we should hide in the shadows and skulk around pretending we don't love the parts that she created. i think we should continue doing what we do, and making these works of art of who we are, what we love, and keep writing the stories of ourselves we want to see in the world.

because if not us, then who?

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Thoughts: Happy One-Year Anniversary ❤️🤍💙

I think it’s safe to say my life changed because of this movie.

I didn’t buy the book with the thought of it being this significant, but the moment I started reading and followed the promo leading up to movie, I could tell this was something different. Something bigger.

For one, because of this movie, I was happier than I ever was since Form 6 Farewell in January 2022. Waking up happy to check out what updates there were, counting down the days to the movie’s release.

I cannot pin point what in particular made this so different, so much more to me. Whether that be seeing characters similar to me, even in age navigate a strange and wild world, or the delight of watching my book come to life on my screen brought, or finding comfort in seeing Alex and Henry come together and end up being the one pair in all of the historical queer couples they quoted in their email to announce their relationship, no hiding anymore, just being themselves, and being accepted.

And this is the first time I ever joined a fan community. Partly because I think I’m finally at the age where I know how to handle my online presence, partly because I was just bursting with excitement from the movie I needed a place to scream about it and be heard, be responded to, I joined Tumblr, and made so many now personal friends through the fandom. Friendship with different backgrounds, from different countries, all united by this love for this little movie, all sustained with a deeper connection.

I found people to turn to when things for me were getting too much, or when I needed advice but didn’t know where to turn to. I went to sleep crying from a big family argument and woke up to ten messages checking on me. I found another place to belong. A sanctuary.

The movie saved me. I was drowning and suffocating for most of the last quarter of 2023, and the one thing that kept me from sinking into the void was RWRB and the community I found.

On the day of my calculus exam, we got a sequel, and I felt such a burst of euphoria that I, someone who’s been terrified of maths exam and has never passed an advanced math exam, went into the venue feeling like I could conquer the world. This was the best I’ve ever done in Math since primary 6. I went from an F to a B+ in this course.

After sobbing my eyes out at Alex’s telling Henry “Nothing will ever happen to you” and being afraid that the same would apply to me, and asking advice from a lot, a lot of people, and reading about Alex’s story of finding a new dream, turning from politics to law, and Taylor’s story of giving up what his parents wanted from him (funnily enough, biochem) to pursue what he wanted, I gathered up my courage and applied for a program transfer, and got into the program I wanted in the first place. I think I’m gonna be a lot happier and more motivated now, and hopefully the demons will pop up a little less.

I could not have had the bravery to take my life into my own hands and break out of the path I was stuck on without RWRB, Alex and Henry, Taylor and Nicholas, and my many new friends inspiring and encouraging me to do so.

My life is better because of this movie. That’s insane, but it’s also the truth.

So happy anniversary to our little movie that’s not so little anymore. Happy one year to our Emmy-nominated, sequel-in-progress queer rom-com. I love you, I love you all. Thank you for all the wonders and salvation you brought me.

And I’m so excited for what comes next for us.

(yes that is me singing the birthday song to a movie)

[jev-urisk]

Heyo, call me Jev. 👋

Near-30s trans goblin, they/them/he

Haunted equally by my horniness and my disdain for the patriarchal and capitalistic hellscape I find myself in.

Drag artist, dog parent, dnd DM

I generally write urban fantasy, queer romance/smut, adventure, mystery and horror undertones.

Open to tag games, asks, exchanging ideas, and general mutual support

I enjoy fanart! However please do not use Ai to recreate anything of mine.

I'm here to learn and laugh and lament and lust alongside other goblins like me, and hopefully my work inspires those feelings in those I meet here!

My writing disposition:

I'm genderqueer, mixed-race, autistic, poly, and pansexual and not only put those qualities in my characters but love fucking with dry uninspiring stereotypes.

I'm talking more poc vampires, non-animalistic natives in fantasy, black women in charge and black women who get to be gentle and delightful. Hybrid species/race characters who learn their cultures and where they fit in instead of just being 'I'm mixed and angsty'. I'm talking middle eastern men as honest protectors, an incubus with asexual qualities, disabled faefolk, and soft gardener orcs. I'm here to serve chubby lamia, small characters who aren't infantalized, and build terrible societies for my ocs to burn and I hope someone dies mad about it.

✨️Thanks for visiting.✨️

-Wips below break-

Works in Progress

🌐 Seven Circles 🌐

Intro Post Here

WIP I post about most. This is where I store my hate for capitalism, my trauma, my hope, and my kink for fangs. Urban fantasy, 100k+, queer relationships, and smut

Criminals from districts 2-4 are sometimes made to work in district 1 for 'rehabilitation', subject to demonic contracts that get extended over any slight the demons perceive in your service to them.

Four characters are caught up in this system of subjugation and they each have their own ideas of handling it: complacency in servitude, manipulating a way to escape, diplomacy to bring change, and revenge fueled rebellion.

♦️🤠Post Paedicom:

Version of our world where monsters, witches, and an original humanoid race called Elja exist- all of which are considered dangerous by humans.

Takes place in Texas where two men, a witch and an Elja, fall for each other whilst hiding among humans and quietly keeping their town safe from monsters. Casually writing for now but may post art at some point.

♦️⚔️Prodigium

Historic precursor to Post Paedicom when there were kings and carriages and sexy swordplay. Before the modern era where Elja are considered either government dogs or rogue monsters. In this era, the strong monster-immune species had a thriving civilization that lived in mutualism with humans, offering protection from monsters in exchange for produce and other farmed resources.

This story is about the downfall of Eljankind, the deception of a coven of witches, and the punishing freedom of love.

Please lmk if you would like to be added to my taglist for these, tag games, or my art posts 🩷

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

Good Omens Fic Rec: It Was Always You

A chance encounter during one of the worst times of Ezra Fell’s life reunites him with his once best friend and the one who got away. Though, that would imply he ever had him in the first place. Anthony Crowley and his son, Warlock, relocate to the quieter city of Tadfield from that of London. In the process, manages to find again that one person who always made him feel less alone, the one person he was pretty sure he was never going to speak to again. But the road to true love never did run smooth (something that’s been true from their very beginning). Despite the easy way they fall back into each other, their lives don't seem to follow suit, and if it's not one challenge its another. But despite everything they find themselves facing down, the ten years without each other taught them one thing: they’re better together than they are apart.

Length: 236,585 words

AO3 Rating: Teen and Up

Best for: Safe in Public, Taking Breaks, Human AU, Slow Burn, Romance, Fluff, Pick-me-up

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by mltrefry

*Minor Spoilers* Strap in, because this is going to be a long rec post. This story hit pretty much all my personal buttons on the parent AU side, so I knew it would end up being a favorite of mine. But then, to combine it with such a rich and wonderful story of how Crowley and Ezra grew up together as best friends? It felt tailor-made for me.

Let's start with the present. Crowley is the father of five-year-old Warlock, owns a very successful flower shop, and has moved to Tadfield to be closer to that branch of the business. Ezra has just lost his sister Eliza and is now the guardian to his nephew Adam. Both men are content with their lives, but the memory of their fallout plagues them both. In the past, we follow their entire history—from their first meeting, to new boyfriends, supporting each other through hard times, and the unbearable pain of their unspoken mutual pining.

I loved everything about this story. As parents, they're both amazing. They love being dads, they never see their sons as a burden, and I'm so thankful that this story doesn't cause any unnecessary angst for them in this aspect. Their family is built on love, safety, and trust. I adored the boys, their new routines, and their entire extended family of side characters.

I was fascinated by their past relationships. Every person each of them dated was such a complex and interesting side character. I appreciated how even when a partner is flawed, they're not portrayed as evil—especially Gabriel. Yes, he's an asshole, and he can't take no for an answer, but he's not evil. He does nothing to purposely sabotage Ezra's happiness, which was something I was honestly expecting a bit. The character of Oscar here was a particular standout for me. I also loved how the red string of fate kept connecting them in ways I don't think they'll ever realize. Which is lovely, but also a little silly in that it almost feels like there's only like 8 queer men in all of Britain. But each relationship taught them more about life and themselves, and yes, maybe it would have been easier for them if they confessed their love earlier in their lives. However, that wasn't meant to be; they came together at exactly the right point in their lives. They were meant to have this wonderful family together.

And watching them grow up together? I was glued to every moment. Their family lives were unique and complex. Completely original to this story, which sometimes can feel too removed from canon. But it didn't feel that way to me ever. Or if it ever did, it wasn't a negative. I don't believe this is the kind of story you could scrub out the Good Omens and repackage it as any other couple. Even though technically it should be easy to do with this set up. There isn't that much Good Omens canon in it, but still, this just feels like Crowley and Aziraphale despite how much of an AU it is.

Ok, I gotta stop before this becomes even longer, there are SO MANY plot points I could talk about. But seriously, if you love parent stories or stories of them being friends as kids, this is a must-read. It's satisfyingly long, but also so effortless that you will spend hours in this world, and it'll feel like seconds. The writing is excellent, so detailed that you'll feel like you're actually there, but never gets bogged down in itself. This is now a forever favorite of mine!

Read it here, fic by mltrefry

[grayseeker]

The Spark of Inspiration: Why Starscream Means the World to Me

I vividly remember the moment I became a die-hard Transformers fan. It was in 1985, during the episode Starscream's Brigade. The scene where Starscream confidently flies up to perch on Bruticus' shoulder took my breath away. There was just something about him. His attitude, his defiance. His sheer audacity in standing up to Megatron's attempts to put him in his 'place' - and all of this balanced by a emotional vulnerability that I found all too relatable.

For me, Starscream embodies the quintessential outsider striving for acceptance and power; an archetype that speaks to anyone who has ever felt overlooked or underestimated. His clashes with Megatron mirrored my own experiences with bullying, as well as my struggles to find my voice. His relentless pursuit of his ambitions taught me the importance of sometimes being just a little 'selfish.' That prioritizing one's own needs–for time, space or creativity–is an act of courageous rebellion in a world that pre-defines one's 'correct' role as being in service of others.

Despite being labeled a coward, Starscream's never-say-die attitude in the face of setbacks provided me with a model of courage and resilience that has inspired me for decades. Even his death in Transformers: The Movie couldn't suppress his passion for life. Following the open-ended finale of Ghost in the Machine, I felt compelled to continue Starscream's story. He got me past my fear of the dreaded blank page, and kicked off what has become a lifelong passion for storytelling.

Starscream also awakened my sense of myself as a queer person, and inspired me to explore gender, sexuality and identity in ways I might not have if he had not planted the seed through his delectably flamboyant brand of queer-coded villainy.

Starscream perched on Bruticus' shoulder.

Why Supernova, Why Now?

It's safe to say that Starscream is more than a character to me. He is my Muse. He swooped into my life in '85 and took up residence, capturing both my heart and my imagination. Supernova, one of my upcoming zine projects, is a way to extend that love to a wider community, inviting others to bring their own Starscream-fueled perspectives, experiences and creativity. Supernova will accept submissions in the form of art, fiction, comics, poetry, and essays in what I hope will become a vibrant homage to the inspiration Starscream has provided me and many other fans, both old and new.

Want to join in?

Supernova is currently in the interest-check phase. Fill out the interest-check survey below, and let me know what you’d love to see included in the zine. I can't wait to see what we create together!

[arliedraws]

Did anyone ever send you spicy takes for literary analysis? If not, here's one: I wanna know where in the books people are getting the idea that in a boarding school in the UK in the '70s, MWPP and their classmates would ALL be some flavor of queer and also have the modern vocabulary to go with it.

I am still taking spicy takes! My week at work has been absolute chaos, so I haven’t had a chance to tackle some of these prompts yet.

But I’m going to push back a bit on ya (with love and respect, of course). Below the cut are some mentions of violence against LGBTQ+ folks, fyi.

No, I don’t think that the 1970s would have been a magical place full of openly queer teens with modern vocabulary (and weirdly cell phones?). But I do understand where it comes from. Imagine you’re a teen in 2024 where LGBTQ+ rights are being stripped away one by one in many western countries. Then imagine you’re a teen from the United States: you’re not 18 yet, you can’t vote, yet you are directly affected (or have friends who are) by anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Maybe you aren’t allowed to use a public restroom because you’re trans or maybe you have ultra-religious parents who would kick you out of the house if they found out you were gay or maybe there was a story circulating about a non-binary kid who was murdered by their peers in a bathroom at school…

So these things are all around you. You’re fifteen, and you feel absolutely powerless. Maybe you’re cut off from the queer community. Maybe you just wish there were a place where you could be around other queer teens who just GET you, who know what you’re going through. Okay, maybe you read Harry Potter when you were younger, and you find that there’s this fantasy world within the world of HP where the kids are cool and hot and wear whatever they want and say “fuck you, parents!�� and they’re all in love with each other and at school, it’s all okay! The parents will never find out! This is the safe place!

While I have MANY critiques of this corner of fandom (the reinvention of heterosexuality with the hyperfeminization of Sirius and the hypermasculinization of Lupin, the blatant mischaracterization of MOST characters, etc.), I understand a young person’s hunger for it. It’s a fantasy. Plain and simple.

Do I personally find it more interesting to see what would happen if James and Sirius hooked up in an ultra-conservative pureblood society and were forced to confront internalized homophobia? YEAH. Is that an appealing story to someone who has to live that reality everyday? Ehhh…Maybe? Maybe not? It’s appealing to me because I like to explore human suffering lol. I love drama! I love complicated relationships. I love when fictional people love two people at once—I love MESSINESS (I love when they cheat! I love when they have miscommunication!). But here’s the difference—I am a thirty-something person who has a solid support system and acceptance within their community. I have the emotional space to accept complexities. Most teenagers do not have these things.

We have to remember that for everything an artist or writer creates, there’s an intent. Who is the audience? What is the effect on the reader of your stylistic choices? Is historical accuracy important to the overall message of the work? Does it detract from meaning/understanding?

My point is, sweet and beautiful Anon, you are probably right! There is plenty to critique (and I have complained about this side of the fandom before), but I accept that many young people are looking for community, and apparently this fandom created by a transphobic millionaire is where they found it.

[qqueenofhades]

i'm going feral about queer icon hob gadling thank you very much. I JUST CAN'T WITH HIM. i cry because in the comic in the 1989 panel there's a person at the inn talking about how "of course AIDS isn't a punishment from god." hob has to sit there and hear that and just. JUST. hob being visible! hob being vulnerable in his love! hob surviving all his friends. hob buying the fucking pub with the power of his queer money!!! committing the crime of graffiti to SPRAYPAINT A SIGN FOR HIS LOVE TO FIND

It is... probably because I am a queer historian and that is why I imprinted on Hob in the first place, but uh, yes, I have many feelings about this too, and the subtle way in which queer places and spaces work both in the show and in the Dreamling story specifically. Obviously there are many queer characters in Sandman (and we love it for that), but the White Horse, and then the New Inn, is one of the few physical locations I can think of that is a literal embodiment of queer devotion. Hob buys the old pub and builds the new one so Morpheus, if he does ever come back, can find him! He appropriated the spot where they met the first time, where their relationship was built over centuries, and he both saves the old one and builds a NEW one (new step in their relationship etc etc). And physically paints giant signs because his immortal boyfriend is very stupid! He makes it visible and explicit, he builds his devotion into every fiber of that pub, he does it especially so Dream can still come back and find him if he chooses, he waits patiently, and like... the New Inn is absolutely brimming with queer adoration, and ack.

Also, there was that tantalizing tidbit about the real, historical White Horse pub that the Sandman version was based on, being best known for being run by two women in the 18th century who called themselves "Mr. and Mrs. How." Granted, I found that in the IMDB trivia section and if I was writing an actual paper on it, I'd have to do a heck of a lot more research. However, happily, I am NOT writing a paper, and I say it's real because it feels right. In that case, the White Horse itself is embodied as a queer establishment, a place previously run by married lesbians in Hella Gay 18th-century London, and adds another layer to that being the place where Hob and Dream meet every century to conduct their careful, tentative, tender, unspoken romance.

But then! Tragedy! The pub has been bought and will be shut down, and with it, the physical and literal heart of Hob’s relationship with his "stranger!" As I wrote in my meta about the 1989 scene, everything is so careful, so subtextual, so unspoken, whether it is Hob saying he has been stood up and the bartender deliberately not assuming it was by a woman and offering oblique reassurance that Hob is safe here, as a queer man in violently homophobic 1989. So of course Hob can't stand to think of it going away, and has to save it both for himself and as a queer-friendly establishment! So he takes his queer money, as you say, and does something about it! Maybe bad people get to do whatever in this country with that money too, but so does Hob, and he can claw back a little of the place that has always most belonged to him (and him with Dream).

Hence the New Inn, where Hob absolutely hung Pride flags in the '90s long before it was cool or popularly accepted to do so, was able to use his status both as owner of the establishment and Queer Who Can Kick Your Ass to deal with anyone who had a problem with it, and otherwise keep it ready for the day when his love might get to show up again. It's beautiful! It's visible! It's symbolic! And then when Dream does walk in and make their relationship "visible," i.e. apologising and calling Hob his friend, they get to sit down together in that space that Hob has created and kept as an altar of queer devotion both private and public, they smile at each other adoringly, and then what scene/setting do we cut straight to??

THE GIANT BEATING HEART OF THE THRESHOLD OF DESIRE. FROM ONE BEATING HEART OF DESIRE MADE VISIBLE DIRECTLY TO THE OTHER.

They were insane for this, truly. Insane.

[maryellencarter]

so i'm in a really weird position here. i'm not sure i'm capable of participating in transformative fandom anymore. i'm that burned out on ahipping.

i've been in the lupin iii fandom for the past couple years, as y'all know. at first it was a lot of fun. but there was a ton of really aggressive biphobia, a ton of the "anybody who writes or draws Icky Stuff is a sex criminal irl and must be loudly shunned by all right-thinking people", it got into "if you point out that no one on this show is canonically queer you are a pedophile and must be dogpiled on every social media platform we can find you on"... it's a really, really toxic place.

about a year ago, a streaming miniseries called "lupin zero" aired. it's very well done, very nuanced and subtle. this fandom couldn't find nuance or subtlety if it tried with both hands. lupin zero tells the story of lupin and jigen's friendship, if they met in school as teenagers. it's the only story i've ever seen that manages to show a primary friendship, a friendship with the narrative importance and the story beats you only ever see given to romance. it was -- it *would* have been, could have, should have been, incredibly important to me. i thought i had some representation.

instead, the entire fandom went nuts. they announced that lupin/jigen was canonically romantic (which is a complete misunderstanding of the show and the themes: it's cram-packed with cagliostro references, and jigen is set up as a clarisse figure at every turn, including the direct reference to lupin stealing their hearts). they congratulated everyone within earshot on "not being lied to anymore". they announced that "every queer" was happy to have the relationship "confirmed romantic". they announced that anyone who wasn't overjoyed was a homophobe. and on and on.

i've had to block the lupin zero tag entirely, because every piece of art or screenshot includes a caption like "that moment when you realize you're in love", "this means family as in married NOT as in brothers!", nobody can so much as mention it without aggressively pushing the "it's canon romantic" down everybody's throats. the arophobia is incredibly vocal and continuous.

Only two other people who were watching the show said so much as "it can be read either way", when I was crying out against the fandom-wide celebration that there's no place for me here. One of them is dead. I haven't been able to start writing on a new idea in the Lupin fandom since we lost her.

All I wanted was a little corner. A space where I could fiddle around with my own interpretations, maybe bounce some ideas off people. Be allowed to exist in peace. I wanted to celebrate a friendship that wasn't second best -- that mattered, in the way only romance is normally allowed to matter in this world.

I've spent the last year trying to find that space. It doesn't exist, *can't* exist. Romance is like kudzu here. You always have to be actively fighting it, and you'll never win.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. There's no joy left in this fandom for me. And I don't know -- I think about trying to pick up another fandom, about characters I like or stories I might tell, and I just can't. I can't bring myself to write a shippy story, not when it means aligning myself with more people who will probably also call me homophobic and anti-queer for not loving the exact same way they do. But that's what Leia and I write best, it's what we enjoy writing. And I don't want to take up the same exact fight for a tiny isolated box where it's safe to whisper that nonromantic, nonfamilial love might exist or even (shock horror) be love.

[possumcollege]

Y'all, I feel like all the love for Mikey and Nicky really glosses over the part where Nick takes Mikey to his girlfriend's place, has sex with her on the floor against her wishes while Mikey waits awkwardly in the kitchen like 10ft away, then offers her to Mikey like she's a drag off his cigarette and when she rejects him, Mikey fucking strikes her. Fucking nuts if that ain't a dark turn.

The earlier scene where Mikey blows up over the cream at the diner felt like an act of desperation to care for his friend. It's aggressive and dramatic, but the scene with Nick's girlfriend is disturbing. Mikey is led into a scene that none of us can unsee and he knows it. The scene feels like Nick saying "I need you to want what I have for once, and then feel bad for wanting it." It shows us how irreparably broken and toxic this relationship is.

From then on, the movie is so much less, "find ya a buddy who'll fight you like a puppy for your own good" and more about how this mode of fraternal loyalty has brought them into this escalating doom spiral where Nick, jealous of his best friend, sets him up to be shamed, tested and put in very real danger while still depending on him for his literal survival. Mikey is pulled deeper and deeper into Nick's narcissistic self-destruction and it's almost certainly been the arc of their entire relationship.

Neither of these characters are "good" people, but we see the way Nick gets into Mikey's head. Mikey starts to become more hostile with his wife after Nick's jabs leave him feeling like she doesn't see him as clearly as Nick does and that was done on purpose. Nick needs to be the most important person in every interaction. He needs attention, power, validation, comfort, and protection, and he needs to constantly test the limits and devotion of the people around him.

In the end, Mikey is pushed into the understanding that the only way to retain his own identity in the face of Nick's increasingly unstable behavior is to be rid of him. In that moment of breaking free, we see Nick play every emotional card, love, pity, rage, resentment, in an attempt to hold on to what he has even if it threatens to pull everyone he loves down with him.

I've seen the film described as an exploration of friendship and betrayal or self-preservation vs loyalty, but no amount of love, support or sacrifice will change or help Nick. Nick has many opportunities to escape, but he needs the people in his life to prove to himself that he is real. He clings to Mikey like a security blanket. He degrades and humiliates his girlfriend who for whatever reason hasn't turned him in. He can't stop calling his wife just to torment and emotionally blackmail her. He keeps returning to places he knows aren't safe to solicit comfort and validation.

Mikey's commitment to his friend consumes and compromises him. There is real love between them but Nick cannot conceptualize other people existing independently of him. Mikey is willing to put himself at risk to give his friend the slightest chance of escape and Nick repays that by playing shit-magnet on Mikey's actual front porch.

Nick's last words may as well be, "I can't live with myself, so watch me die and know it's your fault." Nick sucks.

Before I actually watched this movie, I kept getting the impression that people saw something sweet and *maybe* a little queer in the relationship between Mikey and Nick. Now, honestly the queer angle is neither here nor there for me on top of what feels like romanticizing a toxic and abusive relationship through omission. The memes and gif-sets can't convey Nick treading on Mikey's Jewish values or undermining his other relationships.

I see the appeal from arms length. Nick is impulsive and intense. Mikey is fiercely loyal and sweet. They have a series of little adventures and from a distance, it's a damn near love story but any closer, it's clear this is a tragedy. The only way for Mikey to live his own life is to let go and let his best friend burn out alone.

(edited 12/1/22, after it was noted that it sounded like I was calling the potentially queer angle toxic. Not the case. Maybe if they'd just made out when they were younger this might have gone differently)

[batwynn]

are people still into drarry at this point? as far as i know the entire hp fandom basically died when a certain someone spoke her political opinions. anyone still talking about hp gets harassed to oblivion and so many callout posts pop up saying that if you still like the franchise you're supporting terfs. i honestly don't know how to feel, i'd simply deleted all my hp content on my blog because seeing them just makes me uncomfortable in hindsight :/

So, I wasn't planning on replying to this because I didn't want to hurt anyone by sharing it, or by my reply. It's something that calls for some nuance that I worry I won't be able to explore properly. But I had a thought and I wanted to share it. Trigger warning: Mentions of transphobia, JKR, and suicidal thoughts. Note: This has been tagged for black lists so people can avoid it. Apologies for those in the fandom tags.

-

So, I'm trans. That's something I'm always pretty open about online, especially as I haven't had much safe space to be open about it in real life. My transition process has been somewhat public, even if I've been pretty quiet about things in the past few years. If you search my blog, you can probably find the posts where I started exploring my gender around 2016-2017ish. They're posted along side Drarry posts, among other fandoms I was in. You will also find that I stopped posting as much Drarry a few years later, with little correlation to what the author was saying or doing at the time because I wasn't on Twitter and hadn't heard the news yet. I drifted fandoms a bit, then I went on Twitter and... yeah.

Now here's where it gets a bit complicated, and personal. A Drarry fanfiction saved my life because it helped convince me that I could transition. That I could be trans and it was okay. A Drarry fanfic told me I wasn't too old, I wasn't wrong, it's not too late, and it's okay to do the things that make you happy even if you spent half your life doing the things that people told you were right but were wrong for you. I'm not dramatizing this in any way. I read this fanfic when I was in a really bad place, when I was figuring out I was trans and in a horrible relationship with a shitty person and I was scared to death. All I could think was that there was no way out for me. I'm not saying this to guilt anyone for not liking Drarry/Harry Potter. I'm not saying it to defend JKR or any of the things she's made, said, or done. I'm not saying it because I'm a traitor to the trans community or that Harry Potter is even that important to me. I'm saying it because a writer out there wrote a Drarry fanfiction with no intention of it being life saving, and yet they did save my life. They just wanted to create something fun, and meaningful, with two characters from some books. Did it have to be Harry Potter? For them, yes. They read those books and saw more to the characters than JKR ever could, and they gave us a story that is so meaningful and transformative that I literally did the thing JKR hates with her entire bitter, little heart. Because of a person in the fandom. Now, I personally feel a disconnect from those books these days. She's really, truly ruined those memories for me in ways I can't even put into words. Worse even, was seeing that there were bigotries in those books that I was ignorant to, as a child. Things I didn't see because I didn't know. And knowing now that it was always there, the hatred and ugliness, makes the original material poison to me. And god, don't get me started on messy fandom spaces. Don't look towards the Interview With a Vampire fandom at all. It's, unfortunately, a large part of being in a group space with people who like a thing. There will be hateful people, there will be Bad people. But there are also NOT those people. There are queer people who still love their fandoms. There are people writing trans Harry Potter fics. There are people cosplaying Draco in a skirt and fuck gender rolls we're vibing here. There's also a massive difference between enjoying a community built by fans, and directly supporting JKR with money and attention. What you do in response to her cruelty is totally valid, however you decide. Deleting the content is completely understandable. Not wanting to see anything Harry Potter related is also valid, especially when so many of us have been seriously hurt by her. Not supporting JKR in views or money is important to supporting trans people. But I can't tell people how to respond, how to behave, or how to experience the fandom. Trauma responses vary by person. Being angry and yet completely embracing the fandom to the point where it belongs to the fans is also a super valid reaction. People are a complex system of experiences and reactions. There is no one set way to respond. There is always room to learn, there is always room to listen. The unfortunate truth, however, is this has happened before with creators who we learn are complete assholes, and will happen again. The best we can do is support one another and regularly tell the people who are out to hurt us to fuck right off.