#just wanted to post before I sleep lol
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breezycheezyart · 1 year ago
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28, babyyy 🥳🎂
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deoidesign · 4 months ago
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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turtletoria · 5 months ago
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i want to smash her with hammers
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raiiny-bay · 1 year ago
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sleepy morning with the boys
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napping-sapphic · 11 months ago
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Obviously I’d want them to do whatever makes them happiest but part of me really does hope that if i ever get married that my spouse takes my last name, not because it’s traditional or whatever but because i just really want to take my own name back and actually form a family that i love and that loves me in return out of it. I want to overshadow my past and reclaim my identity and share it with you, i want us to be so intricately tied together in every possible way i want to make a little family of just you and me where there’s so so so much love, just as families are supposed to be
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wildstar25 · 11 months ago
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MiqoMarch Day 08 - Fav. (Side) Job
When she's not running around as Ninja or Summoner , Arsay's next choice is the lance. Being bestowed a source of draconic power by Midgardsormr moments before his slumber, and knowing how to channel the powers of Bahamut with dreadwyrm trance, Arsay's power as a Dragoon rivals that of even the former Azure Dragoon. With that said, she'd much rather use her polearm to hunt monsters.
#miqomarch#miqomarch2024#ffxiv#miqo'te#arsay kain pose pog??#an attempt was made#I didn't want to repeat myself two years in a row lol#do love playing drg though its so fun#praying it doesnt become too different in dawntrail#in my canon Arsay never does the lancer or dragoon lv 30-60 job quests#She gets Estinien to teach her some basic moves while on the road trip to drivania#one cause she thought it looked fun two because its hard to back stab a dragon without going full shadow of the colossus on them#Shes pretty good with the lance too so she does use it on that first nidhogg fight#then she continues hvw as ninja/smn#she doesnt have any of the dragoon part of the dragoon kit until she goes through the great gooble library with y'mhitra#where they learn about dreadwyrm trance and arsay discovers her surprisingly strong connection to bahamut#y'hmitra: wow thats weird didnt you say you werent around during the calamity how did you connect to him so easily#arsay: so there's this massive hole in the ground in eastern la noscea-#When its time to end the dragonsong war for real this time in the patches she picks up the lance again and enters trance mode#She does get a job stone finally after that#its a gift from aymeric#a symbolic 'you were part of the troops' type thing#oh and later during stormblood arsay does go through Those job quests#because of course shes helping a little dragon friend#and during the omega raid series when Middy saves her life just before he goes to sleep again he gifts arsay a scale to carry with her#a bit of dragon aether to tap into when she needs it !#anyways thats arsay dragoon lore thanks for coming to my tedtalk#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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france-the-third · 2 months ago
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man i love trying making plans with a friend and 1) they forget or 2) they answer my request to shift the plans slightly after the time we made plans for /s
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no-light-left-on · 9 months ago
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thinking still about how the Heart calls the Whalers 'puppets' and the amount of mystery there is around them, when playing as Corvo and perceiving them through the Heart, in comparison to how they are in reality.
we see them talk to each other in a manner any people would. they consider insubordination, they talk badly of Daud behind his back, we have Billie betray him. there are some that are loyal, yes, be it because they believe in Daud or because they see gain in this path, but by no means are they a monolyth.
however, we do hear from the Heart about a 'fog that surrounds them and hides their secrets' and it is even confirmed, by Billie (and also Galia in the books) that leaving Daud made them 'think clearly for the first time in years'
I've seen a couple theories and I do want to dive into each, to an extent.
there's the suggestion of the Heart talking badly of them, calling them mindless drones that only kill out of hatred and hurt. which, valid. the Heart also says certain things about Daud, 'why did you bring me here? do you expect me to forgive him?', so it's not unlikely that their attitude towards human lives and their willingness to kill for Daud is repulsive enough that the Heart does not see past it
another option is that the mindless puppets is more of a metaphor and is meant to talk about how the Whalers are, in a sense, a cult. which would be incredibly interesting to explore if we had more information on how the Whalers function. now I do want to point out that by cult I do not mean it in a Secluded Religious Organization but as a sociological thing. a literal cult if you will, with a leader that charms their followers, the seclusion and all the unhealthy attitudes of losing oneself to the group. and, that does check out - the loss of individuality, they are as one, following someone's orders without hesitation, someone they would die for. there are a lot of unsavory implications here (if you know how cults work, you probably had some cross your mind already), but arguably Daud is not charming enough to be a proper cult leader. the appeal is the magic, and his excellent skills as an assassin and a leader. maybe it's because of the time we see the Whalers at, right before a collapse, but Daud is regularly doubted and we see a lot of insubordination. the Whalers are not necessarily loyal to him because of who he is as a person. they want the power, they want the influence, maybe the protection, and the things keeping them from disobeying are fear, rather than loyalty.
the third thought or theory is, then, that many of these symptoms can be explained by the influence of the Void. we know the Void affects people, both physically as we see with Delilah's Witches or the Eyeless, as it influences them mentally, if the high numbers of people going mad because of their worship are something to go by. if, then, the Whalers are bound to the Void through Daud, it only makes sense that they would be influenced by this link to something that messes with people's brains. Galia saying she feels better after her Arcane Bond faded could easily mean that the influence the Void had on her has faded, and the creeping madness of it has subsided significantly.
all of these most likely come into play. one of the Heart's lines in dh2, if we point at a Witch, is reciting some of the recipes the Witches chant before quickly apologising. we do learn significantly more about them than we do about the Whalers, of course, possibly because Jessamine has more ill will towards the Whalers than to the Witches. still we see the Void affect the Heart. there is also a notion that the Witches are 'not quite human' due to their Arcane bond.
there's no real conclusion. it's just interesting
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evansbby · 9 months ago
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You guys I’m posting so many polls to get my engagement up but it’s not like how it used to be before 😂😭😂😂 ever since even before March when i took that month long break for Ramadan, my notifs were so dry n dead and it’s just not how it was before and i wish i could go back in time when everything was lit and fun but i just don’t know what happened it’s like everyone tuned out and then when i took that break, even more people tuned out and no one came back 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲
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shattered-pieces · 4 months ago
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Perhaps my psyche is too fragile to immerse in this kind of stuff...
But because I'm sensitive and empathetic i care about it.
But because not much of it kind of starts making me fall apart.... i can't really do much. It feels like a lot but is barely anything
I want to do more than research and post things on tumrblr and facebook...
But perhaps i should put my own oxygen mask on before i try to help anyone else....
By then it'll probably be too late to help in any meaningful way.
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non-un-topo · 9 months ago
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Just got a wave of affection for my horse OCs... as in, the random horses that appear in my fics
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summertimemusician · 9 months ago
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Honestly I don't know if I'm remembering it wrong due to sleep deprivation, but out of everything in TOTK one of my favorite little details is that Zelda's eyes in her Divine Noodle (affectionate) form when Demon King's flames hit or graze her tremble a little, more so around the pupils than the iris
The implications are absolutely delicious when you think about it, either it's an expression of deep seated, primal fear which she would probably feel as a dragon even if her main instinct is to help Link, it makes sense she'd feel distressed when faced with a bigger predator if we assume the dragons actually work like wild animals (I mean have we looked at Demon King's full size and length? He absolutely overshadows her and he's clearly going in for the kill, what with that initial bite, he's clearly not only gunning for Link and for Hyrule but also for her specifically), because Zelda by nature is not a warrior, she will fight for her people and to defend her people but she's not one to start the conflict, she's not one to HUNT, so when faced with something actively doing so it makes sense she'd be a little afraid, just because you are made to fight the divine threat from birth doesn't mean you can't fear death in the process('Courage is not the absence of fear but the will to rise against it even when you're afraid' and all that), immortality or not and trust me I'm getting to that part-
And arguably the more interesting implication: that dragons can feel pain/get hurt from other beings in a similar status, which also puts their immortality into question. Because that little twitch can also be because the flames actually hurt her.
One thing I always found interesting in TOTK is the dragon skeletons deep down in the Depths, they're parallel with the Leviathan skeletons, sure, but the fact that the dragons that we know can come and go from the depths and that there are actual skeletons there makes me look at them side by side and think "Oh those are dragons" rather than Leviathans, which begs the question: what could have killed them if dragons are immortal and can live for such long periods of time? What could have killed them when none of our weapons (including the Master Sword mind you) can't hurt Naydra, Dinraal, Farosh and Zelda in a way that matters?
I think the best answer in this case is given to us by Zelda's reaction (assuming I'm not wrong and didn't just imagine it due to sleep deprivation) to the Demon King's flames.
Maybe, just maybe, what caused them to die was likely another dragon. Which means that dragons can actually die, just not through age or natural means, but have to actively be killed through the right means/being for it to stick. Which also tracks with a lot of divine lore in LOZ in general, Demise/Ganondorf only being able to be brought low by the Master Sword wielded by someone who posseses the Hero's Spirit (or that has become worthy of it is we see in Wind Waker) because it's quite literally a divine blade, Hylia actively giving up her immortal form to become a mortal but still slumbering/existing in a separate realm outside of time can also be considered a form of divine death, not to mention Bellum being in the process of killing the Ocean King in Phantom Hourglass. Divine beings have always had an element of mortality to them in LOZ, and it's not too much of a stretch to think that pattern might hold true in TOTK.
(Personally I think maybe the dragons we know might have killed the others in a territory/route dispute, if we go with the fact that a person loses themselves when they consume a secret stone and is guided by their base instincts/whatever goal they had before becoming a dragon, I don't think territory disputes would be all that far fetched, or some other goal which would motivate possible aggression.)
Although there's also the other possibility to consider: we get the armor set of the wild on the heads of those skeletons in TOTK, and we know for a FACT there was a hero before BOTW/TOTK Link, not only through the Ancient Hero's Aspect (which I have so many thoughts/headcanons about) but also through the tapestry in BOTW no matter what the heck happened to the lore in between games, you can still work with the information that there was a hero before BOTW/TOTK Link, and possibly one even before that one if we assume the armor set in the depths isn't from the Original Calamity Hero.
What I'm pitching here basically is, Original Calamity Link/another possible Link was likely a dragon slayer (not uncommon among Links, but how many Links killed an actual possibly divine dragon?), and possibly the one to kill the dragons in the depths and that maybe, just maybe we should have a game one day or a manga which either clarifies or debunks that- wait I know it sounds insane but listen stop walking away-
(Also if it's indeed a sign that Zelda feels pain it honestly ramps up Wild's/TOTK Link's motivation to kill Ganondorf WAY up because I too would want to eviscerate anyone who hurt Zelda even if she can't outwardly show it.
Also also- divine flame scars on Zelda where the gloom fueled fire grazed/hit her in her dragon form, you wouldn't be able to see it normally, but once she turns back into hylian they're there as another showing of how her time as a dragon will always stick and haunt her.)
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seventh-district · 18 days ago
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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recent things
#With the heatwave combined with being ill for like an entire week it seems I've lost like 16 days this month#where I basically did barely anything... grrr.... The passage of time... My Enemy...#Now that I can finally hold down food and stuff I'm feeling a little better mostly and my sickness has probably passed. But I still#feel weird a little bit like.. some lingering weakness or something. I think I'm just already having so many Problems at all times even in#my 'Normal' state that whenever I get sick or something my whole system is thrown off for a while lol#I'm supposed to be writing like 2000 words a day still ghbjhb... I've had multiple days of maybe 1000 - 1500. And a lot of days#where I write maybe 20 - 300. I've still been chipping away at the same single quest dialogue for all 20 something#days this month so.. AUGH.. Though that also counts the 16 days I did nearly nothing but be sick and overheated#I finally edited that whole big sims video I wanted to post!!! but now there's an issue with it ... T o T#My fault for still almost exclusively using windows movie maker in 2024 lol.. but HHHHhh.. It's like every once in a while randomly#a fully edited video will not be able to be exported. so evil for this to happen to my first sims build tour in a while. but alas..#ANYWAY... I have been slowly working on little things here and there.. in my little scraps of time.. Wishing to be fully productive at#some point. Maybe I can finally finish and post some things soon. like costume photos or sims videos and etc.#BUT HEY.. that solitaire thing is crazy to me.. I don't think I've ever finished a challenge in under 20 seconds#before. huzzah.. tripeaks squad.. OH.. and an image of#curly tail boye.............. he..... I took him to the vet for a check up and he seems surprisingly okay for a 16 year old. except he has#a mild thyroid issue or something so I'll have to give him medicine. But every time he goes in I'm always expecting them to be like#Sorry. Your Son Is Truly Doomed. or etc. so I'm always shocked when he's fine... a strange boy with many strange behaviors#so I can never tell if he's just Being Weird or if he's sick or soemthing ghjbjh#Also the bad thing about never ending summer heat is that when it IS finally cool for a few days. I don't want to do ANYTHING. It's like wh#n it's hot I feel too sick to do anything. And then when it's cooler I'm like 'OUU the first cool day in WEEKS.. i want to just relax and#fully ENJOY the coolness..'' So it's always constant warfare with my body like.. NO ..we cannot SLEEP. We must utilize this small patch#of Non Heatwave to finally be productive and finish things while we don't feel sick. But then it's like ''ohoho...to lay in the cold air of#the morning restfully.. i shall have a little nap with a blanket on for once.. perhaps.. tee hee'' Always at war with the Tired Sleepy#it seems. AAAANyway...... grr............ slowly finishing things. still usually missing my target writing goals..#Hopefully will have some actual art or costumes or something to post soon. Fumbling through the summer weather as usual lol
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kolbietheaggrievedwriter · 11 months ago
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oh i understand you, if the protagonist cannot intrigue me within the first two episodes/chapters and cannot charm me within three, then i’m dropping the anime/manga/novel. sometimes if i don’t like the main character but still stay, it’s bc i got into fandoms through fics and they focused on other characters, so i stick for that specific character. but generally speaking, it confuses me when people display hate towards their main characters.
:O Can't believe I missed this ask! Sorry 😅
Anyway, YOU get me. I don't understand why anyone would want to subject themselves to a narrative focused almost entirely on a character for which they harbor such intense dislike, even for a side character or characters that they clearly love. Couldn't be me! For one, I don't engage with media that makes me angry (at least media that isn't supposed to, i.e. typical shounen). Secondly and probably most importantly, I don't get into said media long enough to latch onto or even mildly care about side characters, so this scenario could never come about in the first place.
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lemonsilly · 2 months ago
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john crocker one chance please please (raising my hand pick me pick me i want to know more about him!!!!!)
YES YES YES HI HI HI HERES THE JOHN CROCKER DUMP!!! this is gonna be a long one bc im literally explaining his entire character, pls mind the autism
Jonathan "John" Crocker (lemonsilly ver)'s lore kind of follows the typical Alpha John structure with two critical exceptions!!
He stayed with the Crockercorp corporation
He's a bit younger here lol (I'd say 50s or maybe late 40s at the youngest, rather than the 86 y/o ver of Crocker we see in homestuck!)
To elaborate on point 1, I mean he kind of stayed tied to his mother and never really broke out of this familial tie. He's still an actor and comedian, however, he's also working under CrockerCorp (and thus, HIC). I've always imagined him being used for propaganda (and I get that HiC's rule was kinda more lowkey in HS proper but its not in my version!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc im insane abt the alpha guardians) and kind of seen as Hollywood's Darling.
His main reason for still sticking with Evil Troll Mom is a mix of obligation and a weird attachment to her. You know the experiment with monkeys with cloth mother and wire mother? She's John's wire mother.
Having been raised alone after Jade's escape, he grows to resent his sister (both from a combo of his own personal feelings and HIC's influence) and kind of clings to his mom like a baby koala. TLDR; big mama's boy in his late 40s-50s because trauma
Being a big time comedian and actor, John is probably the most charismatic man in Condywood (as I like to call it), next to David "Dave" Strider (more on that relationship later). He's very charming and quite silly too! In AUs where he's raising Jane (or any of the egbert/crockers for that matter, if you wanna get silly with it and include beta john), he's actually very good with her. Despite his erm .. everything! he is a doting father (which I guess is kind of OOC in terms of breath players and their massive fears of commitment, but we're already incredibly OOC for what any variation of John stands for so I kinda dont care)
His charisma is lethal, though. He doesn't use it for ill will very often! Because above all else, he's a pretty nice guy (usually). This unfortunately makes him HIC's biggest weapon in her arsenal.
This is where Dave Strider -- biggest anti-HIC fighter beside his sister, Rose Lalonde -- comes in.
Now, Dave and Rose's works are subtle. They're not too overt. This pushes them into stardom. Dave's movies are pretty pretentious, and even more pretentious if you actually pick up on the subliminal messaging. Bottom line is, HIC sends John to try to scrape as much information off of them (and possibly deal with them) as possible.
But the thing is, John kind of gets a weird fascination with Dave. Dave is kind of easy in terms of John's mission, as he's much more ... pliable ? (at least in my au JKGHHAGJK). Dave is a coked out, eccentric director who dances on the thin line of self-hatred and egocentricism. Dave is smart, don't get me wrong, and this is kind of what attracts John to Dave.
John kind of gets a desperate need to constantly one up this guy. It is always power and control to him. Once he somehow slithers into Dave's life, he holds what Dave wants just enough out of reach. Even outside of Condywood AU, I really like to portray them like this lololol. And being much more powerful than Dave, it is so easy to get one over him, even in the most subtle of ways. This need also stems from Dave also being able to get one over him (because Dave is smart). And Dave (rags to riches, new director) is a little guy -- in terms of society -- compared to John (born into wealth, famed comedian and actor). It's kind of a threat to John's ego, so he's kind of obsessed with catching Dave before he does anything.
Ok it's like 1 am and I've had a bit to drink and I need to wake up for work tomorrow SO I WILL END IT HERE but ohhhh i lvoe you john crocker. imagine that heart locket gif animation but with him
i imagine his voice to sound like Ian Bruce (The Correspondents) or Shayfer Jaymes... if this means anything ... i listen to Puppet Loosely Strung by The Correspondents and im like OMFG ITS HIM!!! (abt his feelings toward dave, bc he also kind of has this jealousy of how free dave is compared to him LOL)
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