#just wanna kms. lol.
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#things are just happening to me and I'm just like. yeah okay. might as well happen. I'm so tired I just let him do what he wants#because im truly too tired to fight anymore#just wanna kms. lol.
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Hangman Page birthday week → Day two: Favorite promo
#hangmanpagebirthdayweek#aewedit#wrestlingedit#hangman adam page#adam page#hangman page#aew#my gif#all of these are big as hell like i had to trim a lot i wanna kms they looked so perfect but tumblr is a little bitch#ig it's also my fault for thinking of this format of only two gifs per promo lmao but no we'll blame tumblr#anyway so here's day two#presented in no particular order btw.. ig just in order of how they popped into my head lol#thank u for being born and all of that ily 🫂❤️
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#girlblogging#girlhood#i’m just a girl#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lipstick on a pig#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#tumblr girls#coqquette#source: pintrest#pintrest girl#pinterest#pretty#ready to kms#i wanna kms#im going to kms#kms#kisses#xoxoxo#lol#lizzy grant summer#lizzy grant aesthetic#lana unreleased#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#cock lust#do you love me#daddy's good girl#just girly things#hell is a teenage girl
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Hi! I was wondering how did you learn how to draw? You’re so talented !
hii i just started when i was a kid & never stopped 🤔 everyone starts out drawing bad / wrong whatever but all it is is training ur eyes to see and ur hand to replicate what you see :3 like ur gonna make a drawing that doesnt look right, and you go hmm what about this is off, and compare it to reference photos / whatever it is you are trying to draw and try to figure out what is different between ur pic & the original thing / ur ref photos etc and thats the whole constant process of learning 😅 and u can also google tutorials like "how to draw hands / cats / cars / whatever." i also went to art college which was a ton of life drawing / model drawing / naked ppl drawing / skeleton & anatomy drawing etc.
to improve at drawing u gotta just keep doing it constantly long term, like get obsessed with something (anime characters, for me) & go to town. find art that looks good to u and try to figure out what specifically u like about it (line quality? color? shapes?) & u can practice emulating it, maybe it will show up in your own art style as you develop it.
im still learning obviously, and i feel like theres sm i dont know how to do yet, so using a boatload of reference pics is key, sometimes i take my own ref pics lolz good luck :') just keep drawing ah
also if you look thru my #art ref tag theres some helpful link stuff, i feel like 80-90% of the tag is me saving reference pics lol but every time i find resources or guides or a helpful site i also put it in that tag 😵💫
#also seeing other ppls amazing art and feeling bad / sas abt jrsel#urself* is 100% also part of the process LOL i hope it doesnt discourage u but instead motivates u to improve!!#i def look @ things and think dam this person is so good god i wish that were me i should kms BUT u gotta always get over that p quick and#use it as inspo & improve ur own craft :3#no one can make the art U wanna see except urself so theres that too.....#asks#drawing is totally a love hate relationship tho its so frustrating in the moment when u cant do smth right#but just remember over long term one day u will figure it out and u'll just keep getting better!!!#also u gotta b ok w making bad art sometimes like it is what it is LOL cant make smth good ALLLL the time ahahahaha
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how i want to feel : fearless, painless, flawless
vs
how i actually feel : helpless, useless, worthless
#lol#mental health#maladaptive daydreaming#hilarious#mentally fucked#dank memes#poetry#humor#i wanna kms#im sorry#im not okay#please ignore me#rant post#professional yapper#certified yapper#im not okay so im just stress posting#why am i crying#i hope i die
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lawd i haven’t posted in like a million years
#girlblogging#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#just girly things#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#forgot to post lol#i wanna kms#ahaha help#fine shyt#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets
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i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸
#i'm not coming back but :') hello#i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk#i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure#life is weird :')#remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design#welp i won an award for my design thesis :')#jsjdjdkdkdkdj#turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂#having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol#i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc#my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk#felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me??#:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird#i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭#now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend#time with them again and play games with them again :')#literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like#😭#god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :')#my life is good...#???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS#wild af#even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me?#ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj#:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super !#man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live#:') anyway#i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨#it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨
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it's kinda fkn awful that the therapy for personality disorders im being offered will be "taped" (both group & individual sessions) for educational purposes.... i have avpd... the thought of them filming everything and everything i say and my facial expressions and emotions will be on tape for ppl to review and study makes me sick to my stomach. this is just one of the many reasons i despise people and society and why i am anti psychiatry lmao....
#genuinely my entire stomach sank when i read that#i dont wanna be filmed tf........... its hard opening up just for that one therapist#i dont care if the purpose is that this therapy istdp is newer and they film to yk#study it and see how they can improve it etc#idc.... i cant even talk to just one person and being filmed?!?!? i wont be able to make a single facial expression lmao#if i start crying i will also go to the bathroom and kms real quick.. have all of that on cam? no thanks#now i dont wanna do this anymore lol. foolish me trying to get help lol.#they also said this is very intense and that sometimes u need to take a sick leave from school/ work during this period to avoid burn out#ummm i HAVE to finish school next semester or im fucked so no.... this world is really hard for u to try to get anywhere in
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XD
(I don't know why I'm sooooo inactive on Tumblr)
#xd#tokio hotel#bill kaulitz#georg listing#tom kaulitz#gustav schäfer#xd?#xd xd xd#lol#my edit#jajaja#i just wanna sleep#i just wanna be part of your symphony#please help#send help#pls help#help#i wanna kms#i wanna be sk1nn1#i wanna die
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i wanna quit my job so bad but i like having money obviously i just gotta make it thru the holidays at least jesus christt. it shouldnt affect me so much but i hate it so much its not even hard but still draining
#the work itself isnt that hard but dealing w customers sucks (unsurprising) and its v monotonous#but even more than that interacting w my coworkers and my managers stresses me out so much sometimes i just break down and cry after.#it reminds me sm of highschool where i was miserable and stuck in my head always cuz i couldnt tell if ppl thought i was annoying or stupid#i feel like i always say the wrong thing or come across as weird/off putting. like i just feel so so stupid constantly#when i just wanna b friendly and get my work done so i can go home.#sometimes i make small mistakes n this one lady keeps correcting me but can be quite harsh and nitpicky abt it#and gets visibly annoyed and starts telling me off but im still new cuz they just switched me to a new department. like pls im trying#actually nvm the work itself is that bad i hate standing for so long cuz the pain in my legs also makes me wanna kms#no logical reason to me why we cant have a chair to sit for even a few minutes here n there. employers are just fucking assholes#my managers have this fake niceness about them too it actually disturbs me. but im sure most managers r like that LOL so insincere#ok 2am rant abt work over . if anyone actually reads all that mess
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Waking up to see blood on your pants
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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I have nothing ahead of me
#girlblogging#girlhood#i’m just a girl#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del rey#lipstick on a pig#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#tumblr girls#coqquette#ready to kms#i wanna kms#im going to kms#kms#kisses#xoxoxo#im just a girl#hell is a teenage girl#daddy's good girl#just girly things#lizzy grant summer#lizzy grant aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#mistki#i crave validation#male validation#do you love me#mental health#music#lol
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and when i live on my own ill be able to decorate like real life decorate ive never gotten to do that in real life b4
#like im not barred from doing it Nd i do like. a little bit kind of but its like. Idk my entire life is a very transient thing and im rly#rly rly not used to being in one place for a long time so as a kid we never rly decorated ever#and like obv i wont be Owning a house or anything like that so itll still have to be moveable but i can like. but furniture that i like and#stuff... ive never gotten to do that b4 even in um. wa. i didnt rly get to do any of the decorating even when i was in the actual house bc#him and the roommates umm. did all that. Okay well now ive sort of freaked it by making myself think of that so im going to go stare#longingly at the floorplan i did#bc umm. well ideally id like to move into one of the apartments thats right across the way bc theres a couple of apt buildings like right#there 5 min walk tops and one of the places Has an open one but no floorplan#i wont be movjng out for ages i just wanted to look at floorplans yk#but like i said no floorplans BUT theres one a bit further away not rly walkable bc its umm#youd have to walk on the interstate and stuff and um. no sidewalk and everything but theeeeeeeeee thing had a floorplan#still very close by like 2 min drive but yk. but i still did my little mockup floorplan with that apartment instead#i want it to be closeby so everybody can come visit and so that i dont die and explode . i dont rly want to continue living in this town#4ever once km like Normal and have savings and ive got everything worked out i wanna maybe move to chicago or something since il is better#for the transgenderisms. + ive always wanted to try living in a big city at least once and i think itd be awesome#but thats Ages and ages away like maybe 5 years depending on how good i am. weeee will see if 5 years in the future is like on the table 4#me LOLLLL 24 year old connor seems rly crazy to imagine. but anyways....#but itll be nice to move out and still be in town bc then i can have the same job yk . and maybe ill know how to drive atp and i can like .#buy a car ..or something . if i do know how to drive#which i probably should since this town very car dependent and i dont want my mom to have to drive me to work esp if umm. i dont live with#them ... im just rly rly rly rly rly fucking scared of driving but i know also in my heart that when i do know how to drive the bond between#me and that car will be crazyyyy like. idk how many of you followed me last year but you may remember my insane bond with angel my cart from#work and there was a lot gokng on woth that <- was Very delusional at the time and i was convinced that she was a sentient thing and had the#power to make my life better or worse if i upset her so i said good morning and goodnight to her every single day so that i could have a#good day . looking back on it probably was something to be concerned abt but whatever.... she is still my best friend and i do miss her#deeply#her bathtub and heater were my besttt friends when i was in wa LOL. i was quite unwell#bathtub is still in my room tho yayyy. heater lives with lamp now and angel is of course at my old job....#bathtub currently is holding a project i gave up on. everyone say thank.you bathtub im looking at her right now
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Not me watching Star Trek TNG and calculating the amount of time they're gonna take to get somewhere based on the distance and warp factor mentioned
#i used a warp speed chart and a calculator#i didn't get the exact calculation#just a rough estimate (mostly cuz i don't really wanna finish the math lol)#anyway it would take them just under 6 minutes apparently (hope the math was right lol )#which is INCREDIBLY fast considering the distance was like in the BILLIONS of km#also why did the chart i look only have mph and not kph?#everyone knows the metric system is better /hj#i had to edit this post twice cuz i kept writing the values wrong#and reorganizing the tags in the order i want them to be on mobile is a paaaain#star trek#silly posting
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this fucking thing
#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#digital art#drawing#object stuff#object oc#objectsona#guh#look at him#wow#the silly ever#yep#do people even read these#i hope not#i could start venting here#i wanna kms lol#sometimes i feel like ripping out my hair#the only reason im still alive is cus im just scared to find out what comes after death
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