#just two lesbians living peacefully with their child i lovee!!!

[saoriplease]

Remiii my baby

[stevesbipanic]

@steddiemas Day 26: Fake Dating

Steve was ready for Hawkins to open up again and for the Upside Down to swallow him whole. Christmas was meant to be fun, well at least it was supposed to be fun now that he spent it with the Buckley's. Right now though he was glaring at his boyfriend and best friend across the table. Or wait not his boyfriend this evening, no tonight, Eddie was Robin's boyfriend.

Steve could only blame himself he supposed, one for loving the two idiots that were currently badly suppressing giggles and two because it was all because of what he'd said last week.

One week earlier...

"Robin, just tell your mom you're a lesbian or I'm not coming to Christmas lunch next week."

"Steve I can't do that do you want to ruin Christmas!?"

"She was already fine with me being bisexual she's not going to send you to hell, that's why we tested her with me in the first place!"

"No, I'm not ready!"

"Well I can't sit through another Christmas of your mom suggesting a Spring wedding!"

"You're my boy space friend can't we just let her live in a fantasy world where she marries into the Harrington's?"

"I don't even want to be one!"

"Could pop down to the courthouse and become a Munson, baby," Eddie supplied watching the back and forth while blatantly stealing from the candy display.

Steve gave him a deadpan look, "You need to propose to me better than that, Eds. No, Robin that's it I'm not going, I'm not being your boyfriend anymore!"

"What am I meant to do then, she'll be asking about you all day!"

"I'll do it!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Do what?" The other two asked giving him a questioning look.

"No, stop I hate when you do that twin thing it's creepy. And I'll be your boyfriend for Christmas, Birdie."

Which brought Steve to now. It had seemed like a brilliant idea, one Steve could enjoy his Christmas lunch peacefully being the golden boy of the table as Mrs Buckley dawned over him and two, no boyfriend questions. There was also the added bonus that lesbianism might seem like a better option than the town's drug dealer in the Buckley's minds. What Steve hadn't counted on, was the Buckley's loving Eddie.

"Oh, you're in a band that's so lovely, you know I played tamborine for a band back when I was your age, we thought we were going to be a big girl group."

"I hear you're working over at Thatcher's son, they're good men there you're certainly going to learn a lot."

Steve had been relegated to peeling the potatoes while Eddie was literally putting his feet up in the living room. He felt like the middle child of a family that just got a newborn baby, how dare Eddie steal his pseudo parents. What was worse was that Robin was finding this hilarious.

"Oh poor Stevie Wevie are you sad mom's not asking about how EMT school is going?"

"Yes! I had such a fun fake heart attack story she was gonna love." Steve pouted and for a moment he thought about stomping his foot in protest.

"Hey, it's ok, next year I promise I'll have told them, and Edward over there can come as your boyfriend, ok?" Robin reassured wrapping an arm around him.

Steve guessed that he could give up being the favourite this time, and it was nice seeing people be kind to Eddie, it hadn't been easy after Spring Break. It didn't stop him shooting daggers whenever Eddie and Robin decided to reassure Steve at lunch that he'd find someone nice eventually.

Steve and Eddie waved goodbye after lunch, promising to visit soon and hopped into the van.

"Have fun?"

"Oh yeah, I think Janice is already planning the Spring wedding."

"Well, I hope you enjoyed getting fawned over because we've got dinner with Wayne now, and guess who's his favourite?"

"Just because you know the difference between the Chiefs and the Packers, I'm his own blood and the minute you're there it's like I'm chopped liver!" Eddie exclaimed as they drove towards the trailer park.

Lunch had been interesting but he was very glad it was over as he laughed and slid his fingers between Eddie's between them, happy that he had his boyfriend back.

Ao3

[respectthepetty]

Season two of Chaser Game W was just as wacky as the first, but I'm going to go on record and state I believe season two was better because Fuyu really got to evolve and kept me entertain with all her hilarious facial expressions.

The finale began with the Red Devil back and back to her old habits, but instead of Fuyu immediately caving, she figured out this was her father's doing.

And when Itsuki was spiraling after Fuyu's mother visited, Fuyu was like, "You told my mother to eat poison, right?"

Because this is a color-coded family and her mother would not abide by the assigned color-coding. She also made their sweet daughter beg to not be sent away, so grandmama gotta GO!

Everything comes back to those gay penguins! I'm not even slightly upset that Fuyu's ex suggested she not tell people about her relationship with Itsuki. Not everybody can be out in all aspects of their lives, so it's reasonable to protect their child, they must rethink how not everyone can be trusted with the truth.

Our mama penguins decide that is solid advice and encourage their daughter to call Itsuki her aunt in public, so the bigots aren't mean to a five-year-old child.

But the bigots are doing the most to teach their children to hate others at a young age.

And even though my babygirl was thrown off by their decision, she also understood the reasoning behind the decision because it's clear they are in love (the color exchanges say so), and they love their child. Not telling others doesn't make that love any less valid.

But after all of that, these two show up in almost-matching outfits to tell the entire PTA that they have big old lesbian crushes on each other, so suck on that, ay yay yah!

As wild as that school scene was, I liked that it ended with the child repeating the question of "What is normal?" because two color-coded parents in love seems pretty normal to me!

Then Fuyu actually told the entire world they were in love as if the colors didn't already do that!

This is how peacefully everyone should sleep after they come out on international platforms and ruin bigoted bitches' day.

Especially this Red Devil's day since she threatened them so many times!

Even though the show went left in the last minutes by making the father be the one to say China needs to change,

And having the Red Devil take the credit for Fuyu's bravery,

I don't care because in fictional works, I want my happy endings however I get them, and this IS a happy ending.

Instead of being a poly series *sad face*, we got more of the story about two women in love!

We have Itsuki being the most adorable Heavenly Human wife to Fuyu.

And Fuyu still being the cringe corporate Black Brooder wife!

Then we have other color-coded girls in love who have witnessed the journey of our protagonists.

We have Itsuki finding other parent friends who aren't homophobic asshats.

We have grandma sending her lesbian granddaughters and cute great-grandchild gifts!

Because grandmas in QLs are really proving the Boomers didn't protest wars and fight for our rights to be wrongfully considered the bad guys now.

We have the ex-husband finally getting to live his best life too with someone who gets him.

And I got COLOR-CODED GIRLS IN LOVE.

And a babygirl.

[reviewsthatburn]

*I received a free review copy in exchange for an honest review of this book. 

DNF 24% in.

The worldbuilding is pretty dense and frequently relies on descriptions of visual details in a way that’s hard for me to process due to my aphantasia. Ultimately it didn’t work for me, so I’m stopping.

Full review at link

[migilini]

Could you please write one of those Tiktok "I tried to kiss my bestfriend / crush" challenge for either Charlie or Owen. Thanks!

Crushtok - Owen Patrick Joyner

A/N: Yes ofc I can! I never wrote for Owen so let me know what you think! I hope you like it :)

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: tiktok and noise (so none really)

Requests are open!

MASTERLIST

--------‐--------------

The sun poked through curtains and you swore that you had heard birds the day before but it was loud, uncomfortably so. All you heard was the clacking of metal and the rattling of the machinery that the construction in front of Owens Appartement made. All the unpleasant noises woke you up in the early morning. Grumbling, you tried to block out the noise with a pillow pressed against your face.

"That's not gonna work sleepy beauty" a lower voice croaked, catching you completely off guard so you let out a quiet shriek. "Oweenn why do you have to scare me badly in the morning?" You whined and took the pillow away from your face.

He sat on the other side of the couch, just underneath your feet and looked absolutely tired. His blonde hair was standing up in every possible direction, his normally piercing blue eyes trying their best to stay open. By the way, he was looking at you with a little smirk on his lips, you figured that you didn't look any better.

"Because it's 6 am on a Saturday morning and I didn't want to suffer alone. So lucky you for visiting me this week!" Owen exclaimed and hit your leg in a joking manner.

"I've got thrown out by my landlord. I'm not here on my own terms..." this earned you a shocked gasp from the boy sitting in front of you. "And there I was, thinking this friendship meant something to you." You just rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Do you want to come back to my bedroom? With some music playing it's much quieter than out here." Nodding tiredly, he held out a hand to help you stand up; you only noticed when you nuzzled into his bed that he didn't let go of your hand.

You woke up a couple of hours later, quiet pop music filled the darkroom and it was hot, your bare legs sticking to the duvet covers. You turned around and faced a back with broad shoulders that were just moments ago pressed against your back. Groaning, you stuck your legs out of the bed, the cold air cooling you down immediately. Owen stirred next to you and sat up slowly.

"Morning part 2." you chuckled and automatically pushed some of his hair out of his face.

"Mornin" he mumbled back.

"You were right it's much quieter in your room."

You stood up, stretching your limbs, before heading back into the living room where all your stuff was stored, quite impractically but it was stored.

You heard a shower running, that gave you the perfect time to change from your big shirt and little pants sleep attire to a more comfortable day outfit. After rummaging through your boxes, that you packed in a freezy, you choose some brown cotton pants with a white body and to top it off your favourite purple cardigan that Owen gifted you one Christmas. With some extra time, you put on your glasses and started to search for a new place to stay.

"So what do you wanna do today? I have nothing going on so..." you stopped listening as Owen walked into the living room shirtless. He wore some blue sweatpants that hung quite low on his hips, his chest still sparkling from the water.

You would have probably started to drool if he wouldn't have worn his hair in a towel bun.

You let out a laugh that made him stop in his tracks.

"What?" he stared at you intensely.

"Oh, nothing princess... nothing. We uh... could look at some apartments for me and just go for a drive?"

"Am I that bad of a roommate?" he said and plopped down next to you on the couch his arm resting on the top comfortably.

"No but I would really appreciate a place to store my stuff properly." you continued to scroll through places to stay.

"This one looks good." he pointed out and put his finger on the screen, you hadn't realised that he rested his arm just above your shoulders so it took you off guard when you suddenly felt his arm on your neck.

"Mhmm, but you cant look at it today... This one though has a viewing in the late afternoon."

"Then that's our plan for today."

++

"Y/N! Y/N!" Owen screamed loudly from the kitchen "Come here real quick."

With your phone still in one hand, you waddled over to your best friend. "What's the emergency?" you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Do this TikTok with me." he pleaded and looked at you with a slight pout, shoving his phone in your face. Your eyes scanned the screen and then you scoffed, "First of all since when are you on lesbian TikTok? And secondly, that's a bit... explicit... don't you think?"

"W- Our lips don't have to touch! I don't have anybody else to do it with! Y/N Come On!" he yelled after your figure who left the kitchen with a shaking head and hot cheeks.

Your thought didn't stop racing for the rest of the day. Did Owen want to kiss you? Or was he just so comfortable with your friendship that he really didn't care? You hated that you were a cliche, falling in love with your childhood best friend. Growing up you were always the one rolling your eyes at your parents who thought that you and Owen would make just such a cute couple but here you were, sitting on his couch, your heart beating in your chest and extremely conscious of his presence.

Little did you know that Owen felt the exact same. Over the years and especially puberty, he started to develop feelings for you. At first, he tried to deny them, telling himself that it's just that he's used to you being around but then he left to pursue his acting career and he missed you more than everything in the world. Not a single day went by when he didn't think of you or tried to call you. Ever since then, he tried to be close to you in one way or the other, he didn't care if it was just his leg touching yours or your body heat warming him up.

Due to the fact that you were both anxious people, neither of you ever made a move. He missed your longing stares and you missed the way he was checking you out every time he looked at you.

His friends finally talked some confidence into him and so he took little steps into what should eventually lead to him confessing his love for you. He started to flirt more with you, give you loads of compliments and asked you if you wanted to do some TikTok or lives with him.

Tapping on your shoulder made you look up from your phone, the TikTok you've been watching looping on your screen. Owen stood next to you, his phone pointed to you, a mischievous smirk prominent on his face and whipped cream can in his other hand.

"No." you tried to be serious but a chuckle escaped your lips. Owen turned the camera to him and sprayed some cream into his mouth then stared at you with squinted eyes, the whipped cream flowing out of his mouth.

You stared at him for a couple of seconds, your brain in overdrive, hands sweaty and heart beating rapidly. An idea washed over you and you tilted your head before leaning in close. Owen's eyes went wide and he nearly choked on the cream. But you weren't gonna kiss him seconds before your lips would have met, you halted. Then you slowly took the can of whipped cream out of his hand and sprayed it all over his head.

"You didn't!" he gasped with a full mouth while you laid on the floor, holding your stomach in laughter. Something wet hit your face that stopped you from laughing further. Owen had a massive grin on his face, one hand dripping slightly and his hair, less creamy.

"Be cautious Joyner" you warned standing up on your tiptoes to be as close to him as possible, your pointer finger pressing into his chest "I know where your bed sleeps."

You tried to back out of the situation, knowing damn well that it can easily get out of hand with you two and a whipped cream match would make a lot of mess. But Owen being the child he is, didn't back out, instead, he ripped the can out of your hand and sprayed it down your back.

The war ended peacefully. The cans of whipped cream, yes you found more cans, laying somewhere in the living room both of you covered from head to toe, breathing heavily. Owen held his hands up in surrender and looked up to your position on the coffee table.

"Ha! I win! Told you I didn't want to do the TikTok." you smiled triumphantly. "I say loser cleans this up." before Owen could protest you sprinted to the shower. Lucky for you he actually started to clean up when you walked out of the bathroom, dressed in comfortable sweats and one of Owens hoodie, your damp hair falling over your shoulders.

"Hey Y/N?" Owen asked somehow nervously. "Yes darling?" you answered with a bad British accent.

"Can you come here for a second?"

"Owen I'm not doing that TikTok with you, you just saw how that ended," you argued but made your way over to him. He stood in the middle of the room, his phone propped up on a shelf.

"You have something on your face." you chuckled and whipped away some dried leftovers from your previous war.

"Can you react to this song? I don't remember where I know it from" he asked, his voice shaking slightly. You furrowed your eyebrows at his odd behaviour just moments ago he was normal and now he acted very strangely.

"Sure." he pulled you in front of him, his hands resting on your shoulders.

'Baby, you're like lightning in a bottle

I can't let you go now that I got it'

“Sounds like BORNS…” you whispered more to yourself than to him and continued to listen to the song “Are you sure you just haven't…” you turned around to face him.

Owen took this as his opportunity to cup your face with both of his hands, softly pressing his lips to yours.

Your breath hitched and it took you a second to realise what was happening. The confidence Owen had just moments ago vanished when you didn't kiss him back immediately. Why should you? You never gave a hint that you liked him like that as well.

Just as he was about to pull away and apologize profusely, you overcame your state of shock. Your arms grabbed his hips to pull him closer, deepening the kiss. You felt him smile against your lips. Your stomach erupted with butterflies, your whole body tingled and your cheeks felt hot.

He was the first one to pull away, resting his forehead on yours. Both breathing heavily, the filming camera was completely forgotten, you looked in each other's eyes.

“I wanted to do that for so long,” you admitted and unconsciously bit your lip. Owen gulped heavily, “Me too but, what the hell! I mean how crazy is that?!”

[promptsausandshit]

Picture this; #411

A Month of LGBT+ Prompts;

(Note; While the goal is to do one a day, please go at your own pace, this is for fun after all!)

1.  She had not been keen to go bowling with some strangers but now she couldn’t take her eyes of the girl in the 80′s get up and couldn’t care less if she missed every time.

2.  Coming out to via interior decoration wasn’t the first option they would have gone with but their best friend had at least made it tasteful.

3.  Unknown to most, the lead singers of supposedly rival bands are all members of the same polycule, several of their biggest hits are about each other.

4.  “Have you seen my partner? About so high, questionable fashion sense, likely holding a dog and laughing maniacally.”

5.  A shoal of trans mers have decided to take in this lost werewolf as one of their own.

6.  Engineer was excited to reveal the upgraded prosthetic he had designed for his boyfriend.

7.  Adoption was thrilling as it was nerve-wracking, even more so when several of your kids weren’t human with varying levels of understanding of gender.

8.  “Be warned, the first time I talked to him I realised I wasn’t straight, so if you’re not ready to potentially be hit with sudden realisation you might want to take a minute.”

9.  They freaking loved the fashion of this planet, their fabric shifted shape, style and colour according to the wearers mood and preference, meaning their days of fussing in front of a mirror were over.

10.  Bi lovers bemoan how oblivious their collection of friends and former crushes are to their charming nature.

11.  They loved their team mates, they really did, but not enough to deal with all of them being so nosy and doing poor job of hiding to spy on their first date. Luckily their date had a plan.

12.  A prince sent on a mission to save a princess from an evil king ends up in an unlikely alliance with said kings son, soon enough their partnership becomes a lot closer than either expected.

13.  “The only binary I follow is that of 01010011 01010100 01000110 01010101.”

14.  Social awkward lesbian just really wants to be able to give the lead actress a bouquet and ask her out like a normal person.

15.  A battered ragdoll becomes enamoured with a cracked porcelain doll.

16.  Single mother regularly buys new books for their child from a particular book store so she can talk a little longer with the writer that often hangs around the cooking section.

17.  Just the daily lives of an aromantic god of love, the asexual god of lust and the pansexual god of death as they observe their favourite mortals.

18.  It had been three years since they had completed the transition, and now he was was going to ask the best woman in the world to be his wife.

19.  “Thankyou for trusting me and know my love for you is unchanged, but don’t think that suddenly coming out is enough to distract me from that portal in the kitchen.”

20.  Old painter loves to give out free face painting sessions during Pride, individualising each design to give each costumer a little special encouragement.

21.  They had been peacefully driving their ship around the solar system when suddenly their was a star skinned person stuck to their window and staring at them.

22.  Of all the universes they could have been transported to it was that of a dating sim, well, time to set up this assortment of strange characters with people that were actually interested in that sort of thing.

23.  The princess has become infatuated with the local bog witch, at least they’re not evil this time.

24. Labels never really suited them, each day their feelings and preferences shifted around making it impossible to simplify it to one category, so they stuck to collecting clothes that had suitable quotes to define their self for the day.

25. Superhero is delighted to find out that their boyfriend got the staring role for the latest superhero movie.

26.  Music shop owner can tell when confused and questioning kids need a little motivation and suggests particular musicians and albums they think will make them feel less alone.

27.  Genderfluid skeleton ends up working as a model for a photographer, allowing for them both to express themselves through art.

28.  “Oh right, I have a daughter now, turns out she was the one whose been swiping my hair pins. We’re going shopping this weekend.”

29.  Getting lost in the woods isn’t all that bad when a cute hiker finds you and lets you hold their hand so you won’t get lost again.

30.  Dragons love drag queens, they’re always so shiny and colourful.

31.  How do two characters fitting the con artist and the wise fool archetypes fall in love in an office setting?

Completion Bonus!;

Do a one shot or a sketch for something you love that you haven’t had the chance to do for a while! Or read one chapter of an unfinished story! Or watch one episode or movie of that thing you like! Satisfy whatever urge you have right now, you have all the time in the world for this so relax and treat yourself, you did great!

[slasherscream]

ok hear me out. platonic claudia and reader BUT reader is like the rich lesbian wine aunt archetype

this is everything 

it all starts when claudia has run away from home. louis and lestat are beside themselves with worry. although         admittedly, lestat is more angry at her audacity to run away than concerned for her safety. 

claudia doesn’t expect to be away from the pair for long, she just needs a moment. an instant of peace. a peace that alludes her no matter how diligently she searches for it. she wonders if the emptiness inside of her, that tears her chest wide with longing, is anything like the turmoil that so easily eats away at louis day in and day out. 

she doesn’t know what she’s looking for when she leaves. she didn’t know she was looking for anything at all. until she finds you. 

she ran in the dead of night during one of the many tiring spats between louis and lestat. nothing but the clothes on her back and the shoes on her feet. 

when she thinks she’s traveled far enough to rest it’s been days since she’s fed. she only used the night to run, and slept fitfully during the day. she finds and eats her meal with relish and is then left to wander the city streets with her dress and golden curls dripping with blood. that’s when she comes across you. 

you gasp at the sight of her and move quite fast for a human, rushing to kneel before her, tugging her this way and that, looking for wounds you won’t find. you smell sweet and heavy. the perfume of a rich woman lingering in the air around you, blending pleasantly with the sweetness of your blood beneath your skin. 

just because you can find no source of the blood doesn’t mean you jump to the conclusion that the child is a murderer, obviously. 

you take her in your arms - intending to bring her to the law in order to get to the bottom of whatever horrible ordeal she’s been through - when she asks you where you’re going in a voice as light as wind-chimes. you tell her to the police and she begins to weep and crushes you to her body with a strength that startles you, the blood upon her dress seeping slowly into the fabric of your own.

against your better judgement you’re overtaken by a motherly instinct that has never gripped you before and you walk back to your estate, intending to calm and care for the young girl and deal with the law later. 

you didn’t know, at the time, that you are living out your last few moments as a human. claudia, as well, did not know that she was going to keep you alive. 

you strip her of her bloodied clothing and run her a warm bath. you clean her skin gently with a washcloth made of fine, soft materials. you tilt her head back to wash her hair and tell her to close your eyes now, sweet girl and though she has entered a period of fierce rebellion she finds herself listening to you mindlessly. 

there is a moment, while you are washing her hair that she opens her eyes and your gazes meet. she’d been observing you as you went about your task with a seriousness that was nearly comical (you had been around few children and were already considered a spinster by everyone who knew you or knew of you). you look briefly from her perfect, spiraled curls to her piercing eyes and your face softens. 

claudia is no stranger to people being disarmed by her looks. it is what makes her such an effective, deadly predator. but for once when she sees your face soften her own does too and she           wants. 

she doesn’t know what she’s feeling but then you kiss her forehead and tell her don’t worry, love and i’ll take care of you now and in an instant she knows. lestat as her maker, she doesn’t know how to deny herself anything, and already she knows she wants to keep you with her always.

in immortality she gained two fathers, louis and lestat, but she was robbed of so many precious things mortal girls experience, like growing old or having a mother. 

she hadn’t known she’d wanted a mother until you. 

there was still a hole in her chest that she knew could never be filled. that hole was for things like becoming a woman, watching as her face lost its baby fat and gained wrinkles and lines, falling in love, having a family of her own one day. but looking at you the hole ached less, which was more than enough for claudia, as she was nothing if not realistic. 

you only spend one night and morning together with you as a human. claudia knows her fathers are not far behind her and she can’t risk lestat killing you as a punishment or being talked out of turning you by louis. 

she turns you while you are sleeping. you wake to her bite. she is not a gentle feeder, but she is draining you of blood so quickly that you faint from sheer lightheadedness, let alone the pain. when you wake you are forever changed. 

claudia has already hunted down a human for you to feed off of by the time your heart has stopped and your eyes reopened. they are the same eyes but the person who looks through them is transformed. you are a predator now. you react like a predator when claudia throws the weakened human she has caught and injured onto the bedside beside you. your newly formed fangs rip through tender flesh to taste the most delicious thing you’ve ever smelled and all the while you hear the sound of a delighted laugh and excited clapping. 

when louis and lestat find you two it’s been two months since you were turned. long enough that claudia has taught you some semblance of control but more importantly, long enough for you two to grow close. you are both maker and creation. new friends and yet old, kindred spirits. sisters damned by the same curse, the same affliction. mother and daughter bound by affection.  

claudia is ready to be reunited with louis and lestat by the time they find her, but only on the condition that she is allowed to keep you. that you are allowed to be part of their family. 

louis, while disappointed that claudia turned anyone else, agrees nearly instantly. he’d been beside himself with grief and guilt (which, although not a new state of being for him, was much more severe considering the circumstances) over her disappearance. the mere sight of her cherub face had brought him to his knees. 

lestat was angry at the beginning of her disappearance but though he could, potentially, live for eternity, the longer he was without claudia the more his anger transformed to worry. he’d thought louis doted on the girl too much until she was out of sight and suddenly his every thought was consumed by her. was she alright? was she alive? was she lonely? was this, finally, the all consuming bond of a maker and their fledgling that he staunchly ignored? 

he pretended to think the decision over so as not to give claudia the gratification of him caving to her will like softened candle wax but she knew and he knew that she knew, that she would be coming home with you, and that you would all be a new kind of family. 

it’s an interesting transition for you all.

you’d already been eccentric in life. an orphan who was lucky enough to be left with a family fortune, you’d never had to marry to secure wealth and comfort. you’d kept mostly to yourself despite the depth of your inheritance and the pull it could gain you and you were considered strange by the high society you were born into, to say the least. 

being removed from the limitations of human morality was terrifying and freeing. you’d thought you’d been a rebel before. someone on the outside looking in, mostly by choice, and the choice had empowered you. claudia hadn’t offered you the choice to become a vampire but nonetheless you felt more free than you ever had before you met the young vampire. 

the two of you would prowl through the streets, dressed in finery, hand in hand, looking for prey and then playfully competing on who could take it down the fastest. 

there were many nights that you two would come home covered in blood, melodic laughter drifting through the halls of your estate that had once been occupied by only you. 

it amused you endlessly that the halls you’d once lamented had been void of life were now occupied by your newfound, undead family. 

matching high society outfits you had made so that the two of you match one another when you go out onto the town? yes, absolutely. what’s the point of being wealthy if not to get matching dresses made for you and your vampire daughter?

i cannot stress enough how lestat, who cannot fathom being close to anyone without using the powers of seduction, would be baffled by your lack of reaction to him. he wonders at first if claudia has already poisoned you against him but you seem perfectly content to be in his company. you just don’t react to any of his flirtatious comments or physicality. 

he doesn’t understand until he takes you to a bar and a prostitute, seeing your fancy dress, playfully straddles you and asks if you’d like to spend a night with her. no longer is there enough blood in your cheeks to make you blush but instantly your body language becomes sweeter and softer.

lestat, a known and notorious bisexual, understands immediately 👀

lestat bursting into a room where claudia and louis were peacefully playing piano together: don’t worry everyone! it was a false alarm! i’m still beautiful! it’s just that y/n is gay 

claudia is ENRAGED, by the way, that lestat kept making passes at you. you’re hers. you’re the only thing in the world that’s not immaterial and that’s just hers. for awhile it was just a fight to get claudia to let you talk to either man alone. louis was honestly a bit shocked that he was also subject to such treatment by claudia.

( bitter that he is no longer the #Favorite Parent? ..... maybe so... )

louis belongs to lestat, though claudia is sure louis loves her more; and lestat is taken by louis, though he is her creator as well. most days she feels like she is a pawn in a game she didn’t want to be part of. 

with you she is just claudia. claudia, your beautiful girl. claudia, your maker. claudia, the family you’d lived without for so long. claudia, the daughter you never would have had or wanted if she’d been forced onto you by way of marriage. 

you found one another in the perfect, shakespearean way. a maelstrom of beauty and tragedy alike. two lonely souls, never meant to truly belong anywhere, coming together. 

despite being a strictly familial relation the passion and fierceness of your devotion is enviable to all who meet you two. 

women will come up to you, drawn by your charms and looks and claudia will cling fiercely to your skirts, fangs barely suppressed. the women, unfortunately, never live for long once they’ve spoken to you.

when you catch eyes lingering upon your brilliant, vicious maker you tug her closer to your side and thank the lord - who you’re sure sees you as an affront to his grand plan - for the unholy strength in your body, fueled by the sweet blood of man. you imagine ripping apart the people who look at your claudia limb from limb. 

claudia encourages this protective, instinctual display of your love and affection. she praises you, no matter how bloody or careless a scene you leave behind. she doesn’t say it but you can see it in her eyes. she’s never experienced a mother’s love. maybe she’d had it once but she holds no memories of the woman who gave birth to her. for so long there was just louis and lestat. now there is you        mother. the first face she has ever been able to conjure when hearing the word. 

after you kill a despicable man who smiled too charmingly at claudia from a darkened alleyway you ask her if you feel so strongly towards her because she is your maker or because you’re family. she places a bloody hand gently upon your equally bloodied cheek and says ‘can’t it be both, my dearest y/n?’ you share wide, fang-tipped smiles with one another. 

[squidproquoclarice]

On a rewatch and can I just say I appreciate so much how LOK pushes the boundaries of representation so much further, and gives people of all ages characters they can better see themselves in. I adore the ATLA Gaang so much.  But there’s a lot of heteronormative, erotonormative, and amatonormative narrative there that these children are almost all full of romantic and carefully-implied-for-Y7 sexual longing, that they need to be paired up with an opposite sex partner, and are in presumably endgame OTPs before age 18, where they’ll live happily ever after, have children, etc.  Toph is the only single one, and given she’s 12 (and doesn’t have Aang’s trauma-based attachment from losing his entire people plus a pressure on TPTB to demonstrate he’ll marry and have kids to continue the Air Nomads) the ready presumption is of course she’ll soon “grow up” into that and find someone. Then we hit LOK and we find that’s not so.  That there are different ways to live your life and that’s OK.  You have the happy hetero/eroto/amatonormative and cheerfully childbearing couples like Tenzin and Pema, yes, and they’re still great.  But Toph has kids by two different fathers, never married, and didn’t seem especially fulfilled by parenting.  You can debate whether Sokka maybe married Suki, but given their glaring absence in LOK with everyone else’s kids front and center, he never had or has no surviving children (please don’t @ me with the fanon theory that Suyin’s his seekrit love child, not buying it.)  Bumi and Kya are both middle-aged, peacefully single, and peacefully childless, and we find out in the comics that Kya is a lesbian as well.  Korra and Asami are both bisexual.  Mako ends the series peacefully single.  Korra, Asami, and Mako are all still friends after the inter-team romantic drama, and we’re shown with them and with Bolin’s numerous romantic fails that breakups are normal, that a teen romance isn’t necessarily meant to be your lifelong partner.

So we’ve got bisexuals, a lesbian, probable aro and/or ace representation, single motherhood, people who weren’t fulfilled by childbearing, childless adults who aren’t miserable about it, single adults who aren’t miserable about it...it’s just a much richer tapestry, and I love seeing it.

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿��✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰��. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[lettersformiu]

I never liked the idea of being a wife. Marrying someone and being supposed to put all my trust in them for the rest of our lives? I had problems solely with the perspective of being with someone and letting them know me, reason behind why I never made an honest effort to get a relationship, so one can easily assume that I was not planning to get married this year (although a buzzfeed quiz said it was going to happen. Guess I should have taken it more seriously). There are also the sexuality problems (I didn’t want to assume that I am a lesbian and I didn't want to be any more different for that), but this is not particularly relevant to the point I am trying to make.

Of course, I’ve already told you that, but it’s hard to have brand new thoughts when my girlfriend, fiancee and soon to be wife is sleeping very peacefully and beautifully on my side. Unfortunately, insomnia doesn’t let me do the same, so I will enjoy this wonderful time to watch you sleeping and write you a silly letter. I may repeat a lot of stuff I have said before, but I guess part of loving someone is being repetitive. I want to take good care of you, wash your hair at night when you are too tired to do it alone, hold your hand when there’s no need to be brave (and at this point I hope you already noticed that I am just quoting Mitski lyrics), among other things; I talk incessantly about this wanting and how much I want to do it; I finally fulfill this wanting and then everything goes full cycle and I do it all again. See how repetitive love can be? I don’t see a problem with that at all. I love you and I expect us to be together for many years. Life can’t always be a drama movie with lots of trauma discourses and big romantic gestures and this is okay. Sometimes we are going to fight. Maybe you will complain about my cigarettes and I will insist to keep smoking around with caring. Sometimes we are just going to live. We will go to work and then come back and deal with each other. Sometimes we will have the best days of our relationship. We will travel and have amazing dinners and pet our amazing cat child. A natural relationship has the good, the bad and the ugly, and I can’t wait to live it all with you.

There are so many things that I want to do with you. I am not talking only about the romantic stuff, but also the trivial things. Grocery shopping, buying goodies for our child, do laundry. More important, I have to take you to Japan so I can introduce you to grandma and show you the place where happened most of my happy memories. Also, we gotta go to the house I lived in Canada, because after six years my things are still there and I want to get the journal I started after our trip. You will love it: lots of entries about your soft lips and notes reminding myself of the movies you recommended me: you can say whatever you want about fifteen years old Harper, but she had her priorities straight. It's funny to think about this journal now, actually, because I've never been someone good with words. I never liked to talk, but imagine me at that time: a teenager who spent most of her time alone at home, studying and being depressed. That trip was my first big thing, my best life experience until then and I wanted to talk about it. At the same time, I wanted to keep it private: only for me, and you, of course. I had to get it out of me somehow, so I bought a journal and instead of spending my free time reading math books and playing chess alone I wrote at least twenty pages about that french girl who was sooooo much cooler than me. I am glad we are soulmates and we are together now, because that memory would be plain boring and sad otherwise. Maybe I will talk about it on my wedding vows.

Talking about the wedding, we have to choose our first waltz song. I know we aren't a traditional couple and we won't have a lot of guests, but we deserve to be a little extra, right? Brides have to have everything they want on their wedding day, they say, and that's even more important when there is two brides. It's our chance to go crazy and do whatever we want. Are we even going to have a traditional honeymoon? I will ask you that again when I wake up, but think about it.

I love you so much that I want to scream about it as much as I want to hide it, just to keep my love for you safe from the curious eyes and mean tongues. Jealous as I am (a side that I didn't know I had, to be honest. Always felt so pride for not feeling jealous, and now I am biting my tongue for it), the ugliest part of me also wants to keep this love safe to make sure no one will try to disturb it. My baby is sweet as can be, I know that very well, in a sense that I know how easily it is to fall in love with you. I remember when people in college used to talk about Marianne and how great she was and the only thing that could help my jealouness (now I know the feeling) was remembering that I knew you better than anyone there. Don't worry about it, though, because I am working on that. Soon everyone will be talking about the famous amazing and talented director Marianne, and there will be no such place for that kind of feeling when everyone is going to be properly praising and complimenting my wife.

This letter was supposed to be a short thing, and now I've written so much! Still, I feel like I haven't said all that I could. There are still missing feelings and memories, things that I will say to you in other situations, but the important thing is that I love you and I am so glad for that.

Undoubtedly yours, Harper Martin-Ono-Laurent-Lee.*

* I am practing it for my bank checks. Did you like it? It's kinda long, I know, but it sounds nice to me.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

what are your thoughts on the skeleton twins

Hi! I finished watching it last night but desperately needed sleep after because I knew I had things to do this morning, and I also wanted to process it (sometimes I have to take some time to process movies, other times I just word vomit about them).

This is kind of long but I’ll add a read more later when I have the chance!

Anyway; The Skeleton Twins...I really enjoyed it! I went in knowing absolutely nothing except that Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig were in it and playing twins, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I think, given the two actors I mentioned, I was expecting pure comedy or something? But I was so blown away by the film and the performances they gave.

Obviously I love both Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig anyway but this movie really showed their serious acting chops. There were some funny moments too, of course, but they’re both really talented doing genres outside of comedy too, and it sometimes takes me aback when I see comedians do such a good job with non-comedic roles - then again, comedy is probably the hardest genre to pull off, and so it’s no wonder they’re both talented anyway. (I’m rambling, sorry!)

{below here I’m talking about themes related to mental health/suicide, and I can’t put a read more at the moment because I’m currently on my mobile - I will be putting a read more here when I get the chance later!}

I was so taken aback though because the film starts with Milo attempting to commit suicide and Maggie contemplating it, and I guess...it’s something I have struggled with, and so it really made my heart drop especially when I saw Milo in the bathtub and the water turn red. It doesn’t show him actually cutting but we all know what happened. Without going into too much detail, SH and mental illness is something I really struggle with, even though I’m slowly recovering these days - it never truly goes away though, you know it’s there even if you’ve gotten better and it’s something you learn to cope and deal with.

Honestly, I was sort of pleasantly surprised by how well the film portrayed mental illness and suicide with both the main characters. I felt at times I should have hated Maggie for cheating and lying to her husband but I also sort of empathized with her (not with the cheating, just the whole situation and being in a huge mess), and I think what made the film was the relationship between the two siblings because it’s so real and natural, especially if you consider the circumstances when they were younger. Their interactions as siblings was so believeable too, like sometimes you’ll watch movies with siblings and the siblings are all mushy or too at each other’s throats, and it’s unrealistic. They both feel so relatable and easy to connect to, though I suppose I am kind of more biased towards Bill’s character because he’s the reason I watched it (after seeing the clip of him dancing online - that was literally the only part I had seen before).

This is kind of dumb, but as I said, I thought they did a great job portraying depression and the aftermath of the suicide attempts? Like when Maggie was drowning herself and then panicked and tried to swim back up but couldn’t - I’ve heard stories of people who have survived jumping off of bridges or whatever, and they’ve said that after making that jump they instantly regretted it. I think that’s so accurate - it’s not glamourizing suicide either, like it would have been so easy to have her sink peacefully and be rescued without her wanting it and then realize what she’s doing but instead they showed the panic, the regret.

I think what especially caught my eye, however, was the fact that Milo was wearing bracelets on his wrists later in the film to hide his scars and like...? That is so relatable, that is something I do during the summer if it’s been one of those instances, I wear bracelets and wristbands and sometimes even tie a bandana around my wrist to hide it.

I don’t know if that’s just something I do/have done and I’m projecting, or if it’s because actual research/thought was put into it, but either way it was something that really stood out to me and made him more relatable?

I can’t remember the name of Milo’s ex teacher but he can get fucked for all I care. He took advantage and manipulated a teenage boy and I think that’s important to remember. It would be easy to just freak out because omg cute gay couple but to me I just saw it as a one-sided unhealthy relationship where one is manipulative and abusive to the other who feels like they need their love, and it’s kind of depressing - but then Milo basically says “fuck that” by the end, and it’s beautiful because it’s like he’s deciding “you know what, I deserve to be treated better” - and he does, he really does. Beforehand it felt (to me) like he allowed himself to be used and mistreated because he felt like that was the only way he could feel worthy, but then he grows and develops and I think that’s so important.

I think I should also briefly mention that the scene where Maggie tells Milo “maybe next time you should cut deeper” genuinely broke my heart for many reasons - because she’s so upset and her marriage is ruined and everything is a mess, so much so that she actually says that to him before immediately regretting it. And ofc I was so upset because that’s literally something your brain tells you when you’re depressed and suicidal/self harm, that maybe next time...yeah. You can see the flurry of emotions on his face as he processes what she said, like he’s in genuine disbelief that she - his own sister, his twin - said such a cruel and disgusting thing to him like that. It genuinely broke my heart to see, though I was glad they did eventually mend things between them.

Some other things I want to mention but don’t have the brain capacity to talk about properly because I’m exhausted and a dumbass:

The Marley and Me joke was so relatable omg, I read the more child friendly version when I was little but I had no idea the dog died and it broke my damn heart, so that little joke about Marley and Me was hilarious to me

Honestly I’m talking a lot about Bill Hader but I do truly adore Kristen Wiig too, like she’s probably one of the most diverse actresses who does all sorts of genres and projects - from voice acting to drama to SNL etc - and she’s incredible in this film.

Lance was a sweetheart and I feel sorry for him? Like he genuinely loved Maggie and was such a nice guy, and while some of the stuff he said wasn’t always helpful or correct, it came from a place of caring and that’s what matters. Also he was totally cool with his brother in law who he never met before coming and living in his house, and he even helped Milo get some work (even if said work WAS clearing brush away)

The scene where the twins go out and Bill Hader is dressed in drag is honestly a highlight of this movie

Actually the scene where he sees himself the first time in drag is also a highlight

The scene where the mother is making a long ass toast while everyone is waiting to drink their wine, and Maggie/Kristen Wiig just downs her glass before she’s finished is so relatable

Okay but there’s a scene where Milo goes to a gay bar looking for a lay and just...the night he goes, of course it’s fuckin “Dyke Night” (their words, not mine!) and then he comes home absolutely pissed and telling his sister and his brother in law that he just wanted “some c*ck”, omg I was laughing way too hard. Also let’s not forget that he said the two “lesbian ladies” he met were lovely and taught him to play darts, we love mlm and wlw solidarity!!

Well since we’ve already established I’m fucking trash for Bill Hader, let’s just include that moment where his character is shirtless (kinda) in bed

That scene where Maggie meets up with some woman she knew (in high school I think?) and that woman has a son, and the son is a little dick and the mom and the son are cussing at each other was a whole new level of hilarious I didn’t expect, like I was deadass expecting this chick to go on about how wonderful it is to be a mother even when he’s a dick to her, how it’s a great gift, but nope, she knows and even says he’s a fucking dick 😂

THE DENTIST OFFICE SCENE JESUS CHRIST I HAD TO PAUSE BECAUSE I WAS GENUINELY PISSING MYSELF WITH LAUGHTER?!

THAT DANCE SCENE AM I RIGHT, OMG, like he’s so cute and happy in that scene and then she joins in and it’s so dorky and fun??

I LOVE all the water imagery and shit, like maybe it’s just because I’m an absolute geek for swimming (it’s one of maybe three sports I don’t totally suck at??) and I love the cinematography underwater, whether it’s the skeleton key ring sinking or the scuba diving or Milo’s goldfish. So much wonderful cinematography and imagery!

This film has ultimately shown me that Wiig and Hader deserve Oscars and awards ASAP

Also this is just a general note to anyone reading, feel free to recommend movies to me anytime because I’m a cinephile and love getting to watch new films!

[killscreencinema]

The Last of Us Part II (PlayStation 4)

When this game came out in June, I could care less.  I enjoyed the first game well enough, but here’s the thing with Naughty Dog - once you’ve played one game in a franchise, you kind of know what to expect from that point forward.  I really enjoyed Uncharted:  Drake’s Fortune, but damned if I remember any other game in the series, as they’re all so similar they kind of blend in with each other (although I will admit Uncharted 4 was a little more stand out).  My brother bought the game and offered to let me borrow it while he was out of town for two weeks, so I figured... what the hell.  Why not? 

The Last of Us was a neat Naughty Dog take on the exhausted zombie genre, with compelling characters and decent, if extremely repetitive, gameplay.  With the previous sentence, I could just say I also reviewed The Last of Us Part II, and just wrap things up here, but I won’t do that to ya.

SPOILER WARNING!

TLOU 2 picks up about five years after the events of the first game, with Ellie and Joel both living peacefully in a bucolic town called Jackson.  Their peace is shattered when a mysterious girl named Abby abducts and murders Joel to get revenge for his mass murder fest in the last game’s climax.  Consumed by vengeance, Ellie follows Abby’s trail to the decaying metropolis of Seattle, where feuding factions are about to explode into all out war. 

So two things I want to cover about the story:

1.) Before the game’s release, there was a lot of manufactured outrage over the game being some kind of “SJW” vehicle.  This came about after the reveal in one of the trailers that Ellie is a lesbian (although Ellie’s sexual preference was already revealed in DLC for the first game).  When people start losing their minds over shit like this, and start throwing terms like “SJW” around, I immediately dismiss is hysterical nonsense.  While, yes, there are certainly media out there that shamelessly panders to minorities or the LGBTQ community more as a form of marketing than inclusion, I still support representation, even if its terrible and obvious exploitation. 

That being said... none of that is at play in this game.  Yes, Ellie is a lesbian, but other than an implied sex scene and a little PDA, the game isn’t “shoving it in your face” any more than the cis heterosexual relationship between Abby and Owen later in the game.  Ellie’s sexuality isn’t part of the plot whatsoever, beyond very mild unresolved tension between herself, Dina (her GF), and Dina’s ex-boyfriend Jessie.  Even then, it’s not a big deal.  There’s maybe one scene where Ellie and Dina are hassled by a bigot, and yes it feels a little hamfisted, but it’s hardly enough to condemn the game as an SJW Clap Trap.  So fuck all that noise.

Besides, being a lesbian is minor compared to the fact that...

2.) ...Ellie is a goddamned monster.  Granted, she was raised in a violent world full of *actual* monsters, but the way Ellie cuts a bloody swath through Seattle, murdering men, women, and dogs alike, is deeply unsettling, and made all the more so because the game *forces* the player to do it.  There are even moments in the game when you disarm an enemy and they beg for mercy, but the only option is viciously murder them anyway or, if you grant them mercy, they attack you anyway.  It would have been nice if, for those moments, you could just knock them out or something.  Ellie doesn’t even attempt to open a dialogue with the opposition ever - it’s just kill kill kill.

This becomes all the more onerous once the game switches perspectives and you play as Abby, where you get to see that the people Ellie is butchering aren’t the psychos she’s convinced herself they are.  They are, n fact, not much different from the community in Jackson, albeit more militaristic.  Abby’s motivations for killing Joel are 100-percent justified, not only on a personal level (because he killed her father), but because Joel’s actions fucking doomed mankind.  Although, Abby didn’t have to go about it so cruelly, torturing Joel before finally murdering him while making Ellie watch.  That was shitty.  Nevertheless, once the game goes out of its way to show you the other side of the coin, even going so far as to make you FIGHT Ellie in a penultimate “boss battle” of sorts, it’s extremely difficult to be sympathetic with Ellie’s psychopathic desire for revenge, especially in the final confrontation, when she INSISTS on fighting Abby to the death. 

Before this, Abby and her young surrogate brother Lev are captured by a vicious gang called the Rattlers while looking for a rumored Firefly enclave in Santa Barbara.  A couple months later, Ellie follows Abby’s trail to the Rattlers, and finds out, after freeing the Rattler’s other prisoners/slaves, Abby and Lev have been “sent to the polls” for attempting escape. 

So Abby has been tied to a poll, similar to a crucifixion, for several days and has obvious physical signs of starvation and extreme dehydration.  Lev, who is a child, is in just as bad or worse shape, so Abby’s immediate concern is to escape to safety and tend to their condition.  However, Ellie, who by this point is on the verge of bleeding to death due to a stab wound, is all like, “No, my bloodlust must be sated!  I must get revenge for my murderer father figure!”  This whole time, as I was fighting, I was screaming, “OH COME ON ELLIE!  THIS ISN’T EVEN A FAIR FIGHT, YA VICIOUS BITCH!”  This is all the more galling considering Abby showed mercy for both Ellie and Dina during their last confrontation, after beating Ellie into a bloody pulp, albeit reluctantly and only because Lev talked her down. 

I guess my point is, after that big, long, spoiler filled rant is I left the game never quite certain who to root for.  That might have been Naughty Dog’s intention, although I can’t help but feel they still expected gamers to ultimately side with Ellie.  I’ll give them credit though - the story is compelling enough that it got me yelling at my TV and that’s not nothing.

Gameplay wise, though, it’s exactly the same as the first Last of Us - you walk around dilapidated buildings, collecting supplies to upgrade your weapons and abilities, before occasionally fighting infected zombies or hostile humans.  The stealth elements feel a lot tighter, though, which made these action sequences more interesting for me as I like me some stealth.  The game even flirts with the concept of an open world sandbox, similar to that part in Uncharted 4 when you drive around the plains of Africa to look for bad guy outposts.  I wish The Last of Us Part II had gone all out with the open world gameplay, as it would have worked well considering the bulk of the story takes place in one location.  Also, scavenging would feel less tedious in an open world, as it would feel a little bit more like treasure hunting than scavenging (kinda like how you can scavenge random houses and bunkers in Far Cry 5). 

As it stands, The Last of Us Part II isn’t breaking any new ground, except for maybe impressive advancements in graphics and character model animation.  However, if you loved or even liked the first game, I think it’s fair to say you will enjoy this one as well.  If you hated TLOU, and Naughty Dog games in general, well, this ain’t gonna change your mind.

[the-quiet-winds]

Sure to Outlast this Catastrophe (part two)

so a lot of you loved the aragon content! which is good! because @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts and i worked hard on this one! (i say that every time because it’s always true)

things start to... heat up.

[part one]

[Part 2: Spend the Rest of Your Nights with the Lights On]

when she reaches the house, she is surprised the living room isn’t empty. jane is laying on her couch, under a blanket, watching some house show and occasionally sipping tea. she gives aragon a small wave as she enters. 

“you were supposed to be asleep,” aragon deadpans. 

jane just shrugs. “couldn’t.”

aragon shakes her head in mock disapproval. “i’m going to take this to anna,” she says.

anna is already asleep by the time aragon reaches upstairs, so she leaves the cough medicine on the bedside table along with a medicine spoon.

she heads back downstairs and settles down on the couch next to jane, looking over at the woman.

aragon comes over, gesturing for jane to move. jane lifts her head as begins to scooch down the couch, but aragon stops her. she puts the pillow jane had been using in her lap and gently pushed jane down to lay on the pillow, trailing her fingers lightly in and out of blonde hair.

“let someone else be mum for a change,” aragon says with a mock huff of annoyance, and jane gives a weak laugh.

“i’m not purposefully being difficult.”

“i know, jane,” aragon smiles softly.

they fall into a companionable silence as the tv buzzes quietly, the host of the programme showing the couple of the day around a large farmhouse.

aragon’s mind drifts back to caroline, and her breath catches in her throat. that looked like her girl. it looked so much like her girl that it hurt. 

jane looks up at her. “what is it, love?” she whispers. 

“i... uh...” aragon stammers out, “i thought i saw mary at the supermarket, that’s all.”

jane doesn’t say anything for a moment, but her eyes encourage aragon to carry on.

“and it was stupid because i know it couldn’t have been her. i just... i got my hopes up anyway,” aragon admits.

she’s glad it’s just jane in the room; if boleyn had heard this bit of vulnerability then who knows if she’d ever have let it go. or maybe aragon wasn’t giving boleyn enough credit.

“do you want to talk more about it?” jane asks quietly. “i can tell you some more about her.”

aragon nods shakily. “if you’re up for it.”

“she was the smartest girl i’ve ever met,” jane says softly, nostalgically. “loved poetry. we went to mass together often.”

“she’s always been smart,” aragon says quietly, a faint smile on her face. “i could never hide anything from her, even when she was young. and when she was older, well...” she trails off, voice dying in her throat. mary was well into her teenage years by the time henry decided to cast her and aragon aside, and even before any official announcement aragon knew mary had her suspicions.

jane reaches up a shaky hand, the pads of her fingers drifting over aragon’s cheek. “i know, love,” she rasps out. “she knew i was pregnant before i even told her.” jane chuckled softly. “she said i was glowing and she just knew.”

aragon nods. 

“she loved you,” jane continues. “she spoke so highly of you, you know that?”

“we were close,” aragon barely whispers. “she was so strong even though she was so young.” she swallows, then looks down at jane. “thank you for looking after her when I wasn’t there.”

“of course,” jane nods, voice weak.

aragon looks back to the tv, trying to push images of mary away and resuming her soft ministrations in jane’s hair. 

it isn’t long until jane succumbs to the soft warmth of the moment and drifts off to sleep again, and aragon is left alone with her thoughts.

aragon’s mind drifts into her memories, of mary when she was young, so vibrant and full of life. she’s just recalling a ball when mary was eleven or twelve, the first one she was allowed to stay up for, when she hears a fresh wave of hacking coughs from upstairs.

she gently extracts herself from the couch and heads up the stairs, trying to work out which room it was coming from.

her first instinct is anna’s room. but when aragon gets there, she is still peacefully passed out. 

the coughing continues. 

from next door. 

anne. 

aragon gently opens the door, surprised to see anne sitting up, coughing into her fist. 

aragon sits down next to her and rubs her back as anne coughs. 

when she pulls her fist back, there are traces of blood on her hand.

“anne,” aragon half-gasps. “anne, are you okay?”

“‘m fine,” boleyn begins, but then she coughs again. aragon pulls her phone from her pocket.

“i think we need to call an ambulance.”

“i’m fine, aragon, seriously!” boleyn wheezes.

aragon helps boleyn stand. “i’m taking you to the hospital,” she declares. 

anne stumbles down the stairs, aragon holding on to her. 

jane is on the couch, no longer looking quite as sickly. 

“annie?” she asks. 

“we need to take her to the hospital, she’s really unwell,” aragon says, not stopping her movement of herding the wheezing and coughing anne to the door. 

“i’m coming too,” says jane. “i want to help.”

“no,” aragon says, a little firmer than she anticipated. “no, you need to stay here. if one of the others takes a turn for the worse, they’re going to need you here to call an ambulance for them.” she pauses for just a moment, locking eyes with jane. “they need you here. we’ll be okay.”

jane falters, but nods. “i’ll keep an eye on them.”

aragon thanks her, and presses a quick kiss to her cheek. “i’ll call you.”

anne giggles stupidly and delusionally as aragon pulls her to the car. 

“come on, you,” aragon mutters as she gets anne situated. “you need help.”

“/you/ need help,” anne replies immediately, then coughs violently again. aragon sighs and buckles anne’s seatbelt.

the drive is mostly punctuated by boleyn’s coughing fits and slightly delirious muttering, and when they park in the car park aragon rushes to get anne inside.

they are forced to sit and wait for far longer than aragon would like, if she’s being quite honest. can’t they see anne is hacking up her lungs?

just as she’s about to say something, nearly half an hour later, some doctors come and sweep anne off into a testing room.

just before they make it, she makes a horrible retching noise and empties the meager contents of her stomach on the floor, and even from her position, aragon can see blood.

the doctors say something far too quickly for aragon to catch, then anne is being whisked off to another part of the hospital. aragon tries to follow but she’s stopped.

“sorry, the doctors need some space,” the nurse kindly tells her, before leading her off to a smaller waiting room for friends and family.

aragon sits restlessly, her knee bouncing rapidly as she waits for news about boleyn’s condition. 

she and anne may never have been the closest of friends, not like aragon was with jane or parr, but she still very deeply cared for her fellow queen. 

if something bad were to happen... aragon doesn’t know what she would do.

aragon is so wrapped up in her worry she misses the fact her phone is buzzing in her pocket, and when a doctor steps into the waiting room she jumps to her feet. she sits shamefully back down again when he makes his way over to a man in the corner of the room instead, and she again focuses her attention on waiting for news about anne. her eyes are fixed on the doorway the first doctor came through in case anyone appears looking for her, except for the occasional glance over to the clock ticking away on the far wall.

—-

jane hisses in frustration as her call goes to voicemail again. either aragon was busy with anne... or...

had something happened to aragon?

she couldn’t worry about that now. katherine is battling an absolutely raging fever, nearly 39 C, and is seemingly trapped in some sort of nightmare as she writhes and sweats. 

it absolutely pains jane to watch as she puts an ice filled towel on her head and her neck, crying softly as she prays that whatever horrid illness this is doesn’t take anyone with it.

cleves appears in the doorway, still coughing but standing much more solidly than before.

“what’s happening? is she okay?”

her eyes are filled with concern and jane shakes her head, close to tears.

“she’s-” jane begins, but she’s cut off by katherine thrashing around in her bed, sounds of distress filling the room.

jane’s tears stream down her face as she continues pressing the iced towel on kat’s face and neck. 

“come on, kitty-kat,” jane mumbles. “it’s me, love. it’s mama. wake up, sweetheart.”

katherine doesn’t make any indication of having heard her. 

“anna,” jane says suddenly, “can you check on cathy? make sure she’s alright?”

cleves nods gravely and heads out of the room. jane can hear the door to parr’s room open, then cleves saying something quietly.

katherine whimpers in her distressed state and jane redoubles her efforts in trying to soothe her.

“kitty-kat, please,” she half-chokes. “i need you to wake up so i can help you, love.”

but katherine doesn’t wake up. her eyelids flutter and twitch - whatever fever dream she’s having is far from pleasant - but she doesn’t wake up. 

———————————————————————————————————–

tag list: @percabeth15 @kats-seymour @qualquercoisa945 @jane-fucking-seymour @a-slightly-cracked-egg @justqueentingz @annabanana2401 @wolfies-chew-toy @broad-way-13@tvandmusicals @lailaliquorice @aimieallenatkinson @sweet-child-why03 @gaylinda-of-the-upper-uplands @funky-lesbians@thinkaboutitmaybe @hansholbeingoesaroundzeworld @anaamess@beeskneeshuh @prick-up-ur-ears @theartoflazy @justqueentwo  @brother-orion @paleshadowofadragon @lafemmestars @beautifulashes17 @jarneiarichardnxel @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @sixcago @mixer1323 @boleynssixthfinger @aimieallen @elphiesdance @boleynthebunny @krystalhuntress @lupin-loves-chocolate @bellacardoza16 @bluify

[redorblue]

White Chrysanthemum, by Mary Lynn Bracht

I saw a few posts going around recently about how books and movies and shows who are all about suffering and pain and general awfulness only get it half right - how there should be light somewhere in the story so that it doesn’t drift off into “everything sucks anyway, so why bother” territories - and I think I just found the perfect example of how it’s supposed to work. It’s this book. Don’t get me wrong, it gets very dark (and if rape, child abuse, violence against women, animal cruelty, dead children and related matters trigger you, please be careful with this book). But as surprising as that sounds after this caveat, it’s an amazing book that tells an important story and doesn’t end nearly as grim as it would seem for the most part of the book.

Plus, on a concretely unrelated matter, there’s a very sweet f/f relationship that is very loving and mature and supportive, but also refreshingly no big deal - not even in the eyes of one of the women’s 80-year-old mother who just found out that her fifty-something daughter is a lesbian. So even if the ending is still too bittersweet for you to count as a proper ray of light in this dark story, there’s that.

(major spoilers, but believe me, it’s better that way)

There are two separate storylines: One set in 2011, on the day of the 1000th Wednesday demonstration to demand justice for the so-called comfort women that were taken by Japan to be sex slaves for their soldiers in WWII; and another in 1943 that tells the story of one such comfort woman (or rather girl, she’s 16 at the time). The 1943 storyline takes up the bigger part of the book. It starts with the day when Hana, who is part of a centuries-old tradition of women divers on the Korean island of Jeju, lets herself be abducted by a Japanese soldier in order to save her younger sister from the same fate. She’s transported to Manchuria and kept prisoner at a brothel alongside a few other women. Over time, the soldier who abducted her develops an obsession with her and ultimately helps her break out of the brothel - but not to set her free, but to have her all to himself. He deserts and leaves her with a Mongolian family that he’s acquainted with in order to set up their new lives. At first, Hana is immensely scared of the male members of the family, but over time, their unassuming kindness allows her to lower her walls somewhat. It’s also them who ultimately save her from the obsessed soldier and the Soviet army who catches them both, at great cost to themselves, and ultimately take her in permanently. The 2011 storyline is told from the perspective of Hana’s sister Emi who goes looking for traces of her at the Wednesday demonstrations while suffering flashbacks to her own life as a forcibly married orphan in civil war Korea. She doesn’t find her personally, but the comfort women memorial that is unveiled that day bears her sister’s face, which is close enough. She dies at the end of the book (she’s old at that point, as you might guess), but she does so peacefully because she has found a connection to her long-lost sister and she finally opened up to her children about her life before their arrival.

So yeah, it’s definitely heavy stuff. I’m an emotional iceberg, and even I was close to tears a few times, and itchy to beat the soldier to death a few times more (seriously, when Hana planned to cut his throat? I crumpled my bookmark into a little ball because I needed to grip something and I didn‘t have a knife at hand - fortunately). Part of the emotional punch is due to the writing. It’s mostly pretty sober and descriptive, which I‘m grateful for because it’s the only thing that makes the rape scenes at all bearable, but I think it works all the better because of that. It doesn’t flood you with details and excruciating interior monologues, but leaves the story space to breathe. Some of the scenes in this book are horrifying enough as is, and I’ve found that excessive detail sometimes even cheapens things after a while - it has a desensitizing effect, which is not what you want if you tell a story such as this, about something so terrible that has happened to so many women. Instead, it finds a good balance between descriptions and blank spaces that (in my opinion) manages to do the topic justice.

Now I’ve also lingered with the dark stuff for so long, but my point is, that’s not how the book ends. From a realist perspective, it would make perfect sense if Hana had died alone somewhere along the road and Emi had taken her trauma to her grave, without ever talking about it and without any clue of what happened to her sister. Some pseudo sophisticated critics might even claim that it should have ended that way because *male voice* life’s not a picnic, darling, that’s just how the world works!!  And that might be true for many cases, but... This is fiction, or a fictionalized account of a real-life event that has made more than enough people suffer already, so why not let it end on a lighter note that doesn’t in any way devalue what came before? Humans tell stories because they teach us lessons, they inspire us and ultimately give us hope. That’s what they’re for - plus entertainment value, but anyone who finds stories where everyone suffers and then dies a gruesome death entertaining should think long and hard about why that’s the case. So even if an ending like that might be unrealistic, statistically speaking, I’m still glad that the author chose to go that way. Because that’s what turns this story into an inspirational one, and because grimdark nihilism is just plain uncreative.

[thegayfromrulid]

Fic request: Yuukisuna pls father, just make it anything ye want, but any angst and I will sword you

This is basically improv, I made it up on the spot. So. Lesbians. The lesbians, Harold. (One shot under the cut.)

               Twofingers walked their way up a bare arm until they came to a standstill right infront of the face blocking their path. One of the fingers then reached up, everso carefully, and touched the tip of the nose right in front of it. Twoamber-colored eyes snapped open. The sleeping girl sat up quickly, her chestnuthair stuck to her face oddly from her nap.

               “Yuuki!You scared me!”

               Agiggle escaped from the other girl’s lips. She clasped her hands behind her andleaned over to give the now-awake Asuna a tender kiss on the lips. Momentarilydistracted, Asuna leaned forward a little to return the kiss.

               “Goodmorning,” Yuuki said. “You fell asleep at your desk last night. What on earthwere you working on that made you wind up there instead of in bed cuddled up tome?”

               Thereseemed to be a teasing pout on Yuuki’s lips. The bottom one was jutting forwardfar enough that it didn’t seem serious, but the puppy face was so convincingthat Asuna felt bad for not climbing into  bed last night. She glanced down at the deskand smiled. Her excuse hopefully wasn’t a lame one.

               “I wasjust working on this,” she said, shifting her body so that Yuuki could see whatwas on her desk.

               It wasa photo album, one that was rather thick and looked like it might be heavy. Theopen pages showed a mixture of pictures that were screenshots of herself and Yuukiin ALO as well as pictures they’d taken in the real world after Yuuki wasdischarged from the hospital. Asuna watched as her wife gazed down at theimages, the purest of smiles gracing her lips.

               “It’swonderful!” Yuuki said.

               Sheflipped through the pages, laughing and shaking her head at different pictures.Some of them included other friends. There was a particularly amusing screenshotof Yuuki overpowering Kirito, even with his two swords. Asuna and Yuuki bothstopped to giggle at the memory. She subconsciously reached over and slippedher hand into Yuuki’s.

               “Well,it’s not just random,” she said. “I’m putting it together for when we finallyget to adopt. I want our child to get to know us, so when the time comes that theyallow us to adopt them, we can share our lives as much as possible with ournewest family member!”

               Yuukilet out a giggle.

               “I’msure we’ll be approved in no time,” she said. “We’ve worked hard to get to thispoint. Now we have a home and a steady enough income to be able to bring home akid who needs a family. All we have to do is be patient.”

               Sighing,Asuna stood up and walked over to the doorway.

               “It’shard to be patient, Yuuki,” she said. “I’ve always wanted a family. And Isuppose that’s why I ended up playing house in SAO with Yui-chan and Kirito,but I was just a kid back then. Now, I’m old enough to be able to do it, but it’staking forever.”

               Yuukiwalked over to her wife’s side and took both of her hands. She pushed herselfup on her toes and gave Asuna yet another kiss.

               “Wealready are a family,” she said. “A family can be just two. There’s no need torush anything. Our third member will be here before we know it. And we willlove them with all of our hearts. We’ll get to be moms, Asuna. I promise. We’reso close!”

               The twowomen hugged each other tightly, in an embrace that only lovers understand. Ahug that went further than simply expressing affection—a hug that reassured theother that everything was going to be alright; a hug that expressed as muchlove as the one had for the other. Yuuki then pulled Asuna back over to thephoto album and turned to a page that was near the very front.

               Hereyes rested on an image of the Sleeping Knights and Asuna posing in front ofthe wall that listed the names of the first people to clear a boss. The memorymade her heart feel so light and airy. She didn’t hide her emotions well. Tearswelled up in her eyes—tears of joy.

               “I’m soglad I met you, Asuna,” she said. “And I’m so glad we did become family.”

               Asunasmiled and wrapped her arms around Yuuki’s waist.

               “Iremember you called me sister that day,” Asuna said.

               Yuukihummed.

               “Fromthe moment I met you, I felt a connection to you,” she said. “I didn’t know whoI was going to be to you, but I knew that there was something between us. I thought at first it was a sisterly bond.Then we grew closer the more we worked together.”

               “And youasked me to marry you,” Asuna teased.

               Evenwithout looking down at her, Asuna knew that Yuuki was flushing red withembarrassment just recalling the moment. As they’d walked towards Yuuki’s oldhome, she’d quipped about them getting married. It was a point often brought upbetween the two of them ever since Asuna had sincerely proposed five years ago.

               Of course,Yuuki had been speechless. It was like a gift for being told she could leavethe hospital after her physical therapy. Asuna had taken her out to a café to geta snack, and there, she’d gotten down on one knee and asked Yuuki if she’d beher loyal partner until death. She was happy to remember that she’d had enoughstrength in her frail body to thrust herself into Asuna’s arms and accept theproposal.

               “Imeant it then, just like you meant it when you proposed!” she said, puffing upher cheeks.

               Asunagiggled and tilted her head to give Yuuki a kiss on the cheek. The woman’scheeks were warm from blushing so furiously. Asuna was glad that she couldstill make her blush like that. It was adorable to her.

               “I don’tdoubt for a second your sincerity,” Asuna said.

               Theyboth gazed down at the photo album. Asuna let out a sigh. Yuuki simply gave ita smile. The fact that it was such a thick book that was filled almost all ofthe way with pictures of them and their many adventures meant that they’dgotten more time than they’d hoped for. And they were both so grateful for thattime they got to share. The back of it had twenty to thirty pages empty still,even despite the size of the thing.

               “Whatare you going to fill these last pages with?” Yuuki asked.

               Asunahummed.

               “I wasthinking of saving them for when our child comes home and makes memories withus,” she said. “If we run out of space, though, I’m definitely getting anotherone just as big.”

               “Oh?”

               Shenodded.

               “We’regoing to live long, fulfilling lives together, Yuuki,” she said. “I know it.Me, you, and our future child. Nothing will stop us from having that future. We’llgrow old and grey together. And then we’ll rest peacefully side by side in theafterlife.”

               “Noneed to think of sad things,” Yuuki said.

               Asunashook her head.

               “I don’tthink it’s sad at all,” she said. “Spending an eternity with you is thehappiest outcome of them all.”

               Atthis, Yuuki blushed again.

               Laughing,Asuna turned Yuuki around and pressed her lips against her wife’s. They shareda long, passionate, warm kiss.

               “Evendeath won’t part us,” Asuna said. “Our love is stronger than that.”

               Yuukinodded, cupping Asuna’s face in her hands.

               “Yeah.We’ll always be together. Always.”

               Oncemore, those two inseparable souls met with a gentle kiss. Two lovers wantingnothing more than to live a happy, long life together lost track of time asthey gazed into the other’s eyes. They would ger their happily ever after, nomatter how long they had to wait. The worst was behind them, after all.

               And thebest was yet to come.

[blankhound]

The Wrath of Bluebeard - short story based on Angela Carter’s ‘The Bloody Chamber’

A short story I wrote for my University English class last year. There is a critical component at the end explaining why I wrote this and the text it is based off. Thank you

Warnings: violence, abuse, blood, lesbianism, drunk

Everyone knew about Bluebeard. The castle where they lived loomed above us, cut off by a perilous trail that no one dared to venture. The stories were elaborate and cruel, intended to make wives obey their husbands. Fear of Bluebeard coming down from the castle in the dead of night to steal them away if they misbehaved, the horrors of what happened to those taken, never confirmed but feared greatly. No one I knew had ever seen Bluebeard, in fact the town I lived in only knew that was the castle owners name because it had been told to us by a messenger when they first brought the property, as was law for anyone planning to reside in an area with other inhabitants.

Though our fathers told us of the horrors a disobedient wife may face in the castle, secretly, in the safety of knitting and reading clubs, which no man would ever dare set foot in, our mothers and aunts told us a different story, one of hope.

The story goes that Bluebeard was only cruel to men who abused their wives, that in fact the master of the castle on the hill was kind and merciful to the abused women they saved. It’s said that if you cannot take the abuse of your husband a day longer, all you must do is pick a blue flower, paint a single petal red, leave it on your windowsill for all to see, and within the night Bluebeard will come and save you from your life.

I reflected on all of this as I painted a red petal onto an otherwise blue flower. I stained my fingers doing so, trying my best to be as precise with the tiny flower as I could. I worried that the flower was too small, that Bluebeard wouldn’t see it, wouldn’t save me. But more than that I worried it was all a lie, that I wouldn’t be saved and that my only salvation would be in the form of death, which I was greatly considering as my broken bones and bruises from last weeks beating healed.

My husband was gone for the night, which was why I chose now to lay the flower on the windowsill, when there was no chance of him seeing and disposing of it, though he would never know what it meant.

I feared my husband. When we were first wed he was kind. He offered much for my hand, for I was a beautiful young woman, perfect for producing beautiful children. But after two years he had grown distasteful. I was still beautiful under the bruising, but my body had yet to provide a child and for that he hated me. I couldn’t understand why; my body was capable, and I had been checked by the towns doctor multiple times. I once suggested that maybe the fault was his, perhaps he was unable to sire children and that was why we had yet to conceive. That was the first night he beat me.

I said a prayer over the small flower that I hoped would be my salvation as I laid it on the window, then turned and blew out the candle, laying for sleep on the bed just below the window itself.

***

When I woke I was still in my bed, with nothing different but the clear lack of the small flower. In its place rested a small egg, and with it a note. The note read,

“My dear lady, I have seen your call and wish to help, but am unable to rescue you until the night your husband returns. Please guard this egg while waiting for me for I will be back for you. With warmest love, Bluebeard.”

The writing was neat and elegant, on thick paper that smelt of lavender. It gave me hope for the future. The egg itself was small, speckled with tiny blue spots, but as I picked it up the dye from painting the flower the night before rubbed off and stained the egg with a large red spot.

I tucked the letter into my pocket, then hid the egg in a place my husband would never look, for I was sure he would break such a delicate thing as soon as he saw it, and I couldn’t risk my chance of Bluebeard saving me.

My husband came home near lunch time that day, to a meal I had spent the morning cooking, which he took one bite of only to spit it out in disgust.

“Do you wish to poison me woman! First you bear me no sons, now you serve me inedible food?!” he yelled as he beat me. His closeness made it easier for me to smell the beer on his breath, for he had clearly been to the tavern before arriving home.

I didn’t say a word, just took the beating in silence, accepting that this was to be the last one, whether I was saved or not. He split my lip and broke my face, blackening my eye, before he was satisfied I had paid my debt for the wrongs I had committed.

He went to his room, tired from the exercise, and lay down to sleep. I knew from other days that he wouldn’t awake until morning unless I made too much noise, in which case he would do worse than beat me again. I sat on my cot by the windowsill, we had sperate beds for if we did not I would never have peace from him.

***

I awoke to darkness and a looming figure above me, holding a candle towards me, blocking their face with the light.

“Do you have my egg little bird?” asked the person, a rough but kind voice.

I rushed to the hiding spot, and then hurried back to my saviour, holding the egg out to them.

They picked the up gently, holding my hands in one of their own as they did, though I noticed that our hands were almost the same size, not nearly as big as those of my husbands.

“Thank you my dear, now I have one question for you. What do you want done to your husband?” the way they spoke was kind but the way they asked the question implied violence, the type that had been inflicted onto me but worse.

I just shook my head, gesturing to the door, too frightened that this was a dream to say anything.

“In that case let us be gone, you can rest now my dear, no one will hurt you now.” They picked me up and cradled me against their body as they carried me out the door and started walking to the castle, the soft rhythm of their walking lulled me into a deep sleep.

***

I woke afraid, in an unfamiliar bed with someone sleeping calmly beside me, it took me a minute for me to realise that I had been saved. That the stories were real, and that Bluebeard had saved me from my husband in the night.

I looked at the person next to me and saw a beautiful woman, resting peacefully but no longer asleep as she had been when I awoke, instead looking up at me happily.

“How are you my dear? Would you like some breakfast?” from her mouth came the same voice as the night before, rough but not unfittingly so.

I must have looked startled because she laughed and stood, tall and broad shouldered, and held her hand out to me. “Would you like a tour?”

I nodded shyly and took her hand. As we walked she explained that she was in fact Bluebeard, a result of her husband beating her so much a blue beard of bruises was on her face for months after she escaped him. She told me about the other women that she had taken in, how most of them had left to find better lives, but some had stayed and now lived in the one of the castles many rooms, allowed to do whatever they wanted. Some had chosen to marry other women that she had rescued. She warned me against exploring the eastern bays lower levels, explaining that some women when saved had wanted their husbands punished and so that was were they resided, and also that if I ever wanted my husband could be brought here, though he would never be allowed to leave if I did. I trusted her and so agreed to stay away but couldn’t help asking if her own husband was down there, she just smiled.

I asked her what was to happen to me now and she simply said anything I wanted. I could stay and live in the castle, I could take some treasure and leave, make a life for myself, or I could choose something else, whatever I wanted.

So, I took her hand in mine and smiled, my face and body hurt from the bruises I still had but I knew now that they would heal, never again I would be beaten by my brutish husband, for now I had a protector.

And how beautiful she was.

 Critical component

For my short story I chose to rewrite Angela Carter’s “The Bloody Chamber” (1995). I chose this text as I wanted to write the story in a way that Bluebeard is not a horrible monster, but someone who saves women from the real monsters of the world. I decided to make to the story not in the perspective of Bluebeard but of her “wife” much like Carter’s (1995) own story. The castles in both stories are large and impressive, isolated from anyone nearby and hard to get to, which is used to symbolise the secrets kept there, in Carter’s (1995) story the dead wives, in my own the saved wives and stolen husbands. I wrote in past tense so that it would seem like a recount of what had happened to the main character, to imply how she survived to tell the story, maybe to other helpless women or her children later in life. I referenced the staining of the key from the original story, and also referenced Margaret Attwood’s “Bluebeard’s Egg” (1999), by having the main character receive a small egg to guard, which is then stained not with blood from a past wife of Bluebeards like in the others, but with the ink that she hopes will save her. I included the forbidden area of the home in my story, much like in the originals, but unlike the originals, in which the wife disobeys to find death and sorrow, the “Bluebeard” of my story explains what is in there, instead of wives suffering the abusive husbands of women saved suffer instead. I think Carter’s (1995) and Attwood’s (1999) stories read as cautionary tales, written to be read as a warning, that you should choose your partner carefully, just in case you don’t know them as well as you think, that all men could hide something dark. I wanted my story to one of hope, that someone can always find a saviour from their situations, even if only in a story, and that sometimes the person who saves you is not who you might expect. I chose to make Bluebeard a woman to further emphasise one of the messages of both Carter’s (1995) and Attwood’s (1999) stories, that men are monsters, abusive and cruel, and that women save each other. Granted in the originals the other women, the mother in Carter’s (1995), and the sisters in Attwood’s (1999), save the wife from Bluebeard, in mine Bluebeard is the woman that saves others from their husbands. The original stories are very gory, describing the forbidden chamber as a blood bath, with dead women and blood everywhere. I chose not to do this as I believe it takes away from the story, making the reader focus on the horror of what Bluebeard had done, and therefore not remembering or focusing on how the women are saved from his cruelty. I wanted mine to focus on the freeing of the women, not on the cruelty they suffered.