#just to be clear that was fucked up of the MG lol

[sickgraymeat]

I’m just saying Bonnie was not raised In A Society or with any outside moral guidance so she tried to replace that with her own inner sense of justice which is, of course, skewed by the fact that she is actually one individual person. This concept is difficult for her to comprehend having spawned from the mothergum, which we can assume had a similar ethical consequence system, based on Simon needing to prove himself before it gave him the soup, but which ostensibly contained more than one consciousness to act as jury, whereas Bonnie is only one. She often assumes that she has all the necessary information to make calls on her own, but because she has trouble balancing logic with empathy and/or sympathy, this lack of outside societal moral influence leads to hypocrisy/inconsistency, self-serving rule, and some calls that are just bizarre. It also leads to her feeling more responsible and favorable toward people she can identify with (or project on, like Lemonhope, the unusually talented and intelligent child whose family resented his genius lol) and failing to meet the needs of those she doesn’t understand and/or care for personally. Sometimes the reverse happens because she doesn’t want to identify with a person, like Lemongrab— she sees in him some of her own qualities that she’s uncomfortable with and fails to distinguish his unique needs from a sum of the parts she associates with herself and the parts she associates with Neddy. All outside influence appears to her as a threat, but when she allows herself to consider it, she grows more and more flexible and less and less alone.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @spideronthesun!

Blorbo Crime Bingo

Rules: mark off the felonies that your blorbo has committed (not necessarily been convicted of)

I did this for the Outcasts before, so now I'll give the MG crew a try :)

Up first is Astra! Not a bad spread for my witchy gal. It's not apparent at first how much of a thief she is, but it becomes very clear by book 3

Next is Mashal! He's just a little sweetheart, ok? Except for the murder

Ivander is third. Don't ask how he managed to impersonate an officer as a government detective

And for my only bingo so far (some-fucking-how) is Elsind? I mean, they are part of a paramilitary group enacting violent revolution, so I guess I can't expect anything else, but still. Elsind?

Avymere is last but certainly not least. Technically, nothing they do is illegal because they are the law, but they're still out there doing some sketchy shit

I'll tag @foyle-writes-things @fortunatetragedy @elsie-writes and anyone else who wants to play :)

Edit: I forgot the blank lol

[sicksweetcreamy]

PMMMWitchtober

23: Magi in their Witch’s Outfit 2: Witch in their Magi’s Outfit 5: A Witch’s Magi 16: Make a Costume for a Witch 1: Anime Witch 8: Magia Record Witch 21: Design Witch Merch 29: School Uniform Witch 6: Mobage Witch 15: Portable Witch 10: Nightmare 7: Crossover Witch 12: Kimochi 17: Doppel 31: Halloween Costume Witch

this is already seriously long, so commentary under the cut. Happy Halloween everybody! enjoy your Halloween AliKari unit while I’m still waiting for all of those sweet sweet uncapped Doppels to release

23+2: [Magi in their Witch’s Outfit] + [Witch in their Magi’s Outfit] They really named this Forest unit, Meru Anna (which sounds like “marijuana”). No wonder her and Kanae shared an event. Witch Etteilla is...whatever. She has good attack animations, I suppose. Obvious Fun Fact: Mel, Nagisa, and technically Ui and Isabeau are the only characters whose witches can be fought against ingame.

5: A Witch’s Magi "It's raining again today. How long will I continue to be unlucky for?" You can’t draw a MG Patricia that’s not in a school uniform, it’s just against the rules! Wish I made it more clear, but she’s wearing a t-shirt underneath the dress, since I was going for “an ordinary girl who became special but is still so everyday” sort of look.

16: Make a Costume for a Witch Christmas Patricia: School’s out for the holidays, so she’s put on a festive Santa coat and new gloves, but still wears her school uniform underneath. Perhaps she had to dress up for some school-related obligation handed over to her, when nobody else in her class wanted to deal with it during their break.

1: Anime Witch Patricia was a fucking beast in her Magia Record cameo. Not only did she totally wipe the floor with Madoka and Homura, but she also probably wiped out half of the remaining budget on a fight scene that was too overanimated to even understand.

8+29: Magia Record Witch + School Uniform Witch Of course, what other school uniform would suit the witch who considers herself the personification of cuteness best, than the school uniform that belongs to the cutie Himena Aika?

21: Design Witch Merch The decapitated head of Candy I mean, a Candy-shaped beanbag cushion

6: Mobage - Witch of Frogs They probably can’t add Mobage witches to Magia Record for legal reasons, but it’s not like they would, since new witches don’t make people spend their money on the game lol.

15: Portable Witch Quitterie in her Kyubey cosplay. Technically a Halloween costume, but I decided to be generous and drew that as a separate prompt.

10: Nightmare The second Nightmare design, which I have lovingly designated as the “Not Hitomi” Nightmare. Hitomi: no homura please don’t turn me into a marketable plushie Hitomi Nightmare: nooooo

7: Crossover Witch - Artiswitch Have you heard? Has anybody told you? The Rumor of the Artiswitch! The Uraura Harajuku witch will grant deep inside of your wishes! Even if she’s still only an apprentice.

Hey, Nina is technically a “witch”, I just really love Artiswitch, okay? All six 8-minute episodes are free on Youtube, go stream it right now

12: Kimochi - Terror/Diamond Hair Diamond Hair, Opal Head and Garnet Pinky are the best Kimochi designs, but it’s obvious why Diamond Hair is my favorite. Cute and creeepy!

17+31: Doppel + Halloween Costume Witch Literal Ghost Kazari Jun Halloween event where Jun has totally returned back to Japan from America overseas, and tells everybody about her time trick-or-treating and the cool horror movies she watched, and everybody in Neo-Magius has a fun Halloween reunion.

Her outfit is based on the Michael Myers sheet ghost outfit and the film reel shows stills of Psycho because by the time I finished, I remembered Michael Myers came from Halloween, but I was too lazy to do the fix. I have not seen either of those movies. The holes are supposed to show a corn field, but I couldn’t find a good picture. The hair is white, like somebody’s been shocked so bad their hair turns white.

Trolley (original) is honestly such a charming Doppel, since I too also have my nostalgia trips on occasion. The design, lore and battle animation is sooo good and I like Jun’s character, but damn did her character design do her so dirty. Sorry Jun, we can’t all be winners or alive

[snaamagica]

mala overthinks swimmura’s MGS

here is a link to the story if you haven’t seen it yet + there will be spoilers for arc 1 in relation to where magireco fits in with madomagi’s timeline in this post

okay so as absolutely wild swimmura’s MGS is, there’s actually some seriously fantastic and understated characterization going on here. like, holy shit. i have. so much to say. long post ahoy, jump under the cut to take a look

tl;dr talking points: 1. mitama’s hypnosis 2. oktavia’s behavior 3. homura’s reaction to oktavia 4. homura characterization wrt saving sayaka

1. mitama’s hypnosis

so, at first it’s very easy to assume that this is mitama fucking around with someone’s soul gem without permission a la swimkyoko (even if this was before she came out)

BUT hear me out: that’s not what happened at all. firstly, mitama actually did get permission, and she didnt actually skirt around it. secondly:

mitama didn’t mess with yachiyo’s soul gem at all

she used regular ass hypnotism

which, btw, has been scientifically proven to not work unless the person being hypnotized wants it to. you can’t make someone do something they wouldn’t be willing to do. this fact alone clears up the whole thing for me, and raises so many funny questions about yachiyo instead LMFAO like -- i don’t think yachiyo was fully cognizant of her surroundings, as proven by, y’know, what just happened. it was probably as if she was in a dream, from her perspective -- that kind of funky reality perception is what i think was going on

and i don’t know if the writers wrote this with that intention? buuut it makes everything both make more sense to me and less icky, so i’m rolling with it

besides which, there’s nothing saying mitama was GOING to mess with soul gems for it? her talking about “illusions” makes it sound like its magic-related, and maybe she did want to step up to that, but -- anyway i feel like that’s leading to definite overthinking so i’m gonna stop there since i still have so much to cover. the important takeaway is deep down, yachiyo definitely wanted to have fun in a fishing competition, apparently. LOL

2. oktavia’s behavior

it’s actually pretty cute that oktavia was delighted to be in the water -- in her element. she was very visibly having fun, if observers were able to figure out that just from seeing it

which, imo, reflects on how sayaka feels when she’s in HER element? very, very cute. even if the entire surrounding circumstance (sayaka almost witching out bc she was scared she was dying) is, uh, BAD

3. homura’s reaction to oktavia

friendly reminder that the magireco timeline replaces the one in madomagi where homura told them the truth about witches, sayaka having contracted was a part of their group and didnt believe her, culminating in sayaka witching in front of everyone and mami flipping her lid and at the end madoka asks homura to kill her so she doesnt turn into a witch

that didnt happen here

so homura has not ever seen oktavia previous to this

idk i just thought it was interesting to think about. the stark difference here, seeing oktavia in the sun and the water versus in the dark train terminal, underground

4. homura characterization wrt saving sayaka

this has multiple parts to it because like. god. GOD. THERE’S A LOT GOING ON HERE

4a. homura is actually in her element, too. she talks about needing to remember  yachiyo’s stance, which she would’ve seen for only a brief moment before chaos happened. mimicking something she saw another girl do once -- tapping into her very practiced learning skills -- this is another take on a battle with a witch, when you think about it. and she’s trying to save someone

4b. the situation is utterly fucking ridiculous but seriously comes down to saving someone. even if we know sayaka couldnt have actually died from it, she didnt know, and it still was painful and terrifying, and she definitely needed rescuing from it

4c. HOMURA SUCCESSFULLY SAVING SOMEONE OTHER THAN MADOKA, especially sayaka, who she never gets to save in madomagi, not even once, AND BEING ACKNOWLEDGED FOR IT. HOLY SHIT GUYS

4d. “i’ve never received a trophy this big before” more like she’s never won a trophy before, period. she’s never been able to do physical competitions like this before becoming a magical girl and she typically doesn’t get to anyway bc of their lifestyle. so not only is this acknowledgment but this is one of those “normal life” landmarks she never got to have before

4e. homura still being full of self-doubt and feeling undeserving of the acknowledgment and reward even once it was over. extremely realistic and also ow my heart

4f. “you’ll definitely figure out a way to save me” UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

4g. ending by circling around to swimmura’s doppel story is just fucking OWCH. and makes so much fucking sense. even after a single victory like that, it just reminds her of all the times she failed. especially recently, with kuro. especially after everything. and that doppel story really drives home how close coolmura was to becoming homulily all along, you know? she really was right there on the edge. and homulily talking the way she did just really drives home that akumura still has the mind of a witch... just. god, y’all, holy shit

4h. moemura refusing to go away. refusing to let herself be stifled and buried. UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

netflix shadow and bone s1 e5 pt3: peak darklina

the first kiss scene Alina is so beautiful Her little smile as she picks up his kefta after he hears him call out for Ivan to get it like ooh I'm gonna play a little trick on Alek Her making him smile with a joke that's not even funny The tentativeness of it all, them tiptoeing around each other, testing the boundaries Him being taken aback by her offering to help him put on his kefta but still wanting her to and immediately resorting to business voice asking questions about official sun summoner stuff And putting on his serious business face him trying to explain away the gloves by calling them a safeguard, not a sign of him not trusting her abilities the face he makes after saying spectacle either depicting his distaste for the showiness of the event or depicting his embarrassment at how he phrased the sentence, like what the fuck did I just say (more likely the first one) Her quickly turning around and walking away after the eye contact makes her realise how close they are and him pulling a puzzled look as she does so Just. Just how adorable the energy is. Both of them making jokes to diffuse the tension, her gripping the table to maybe steady or calm herself, the looks they give to each other as if engaged in a delicate dance; god-like Him straight up just blinking and looking down and gulping as she says 'we can offer Grisha and Ravkans hope' (could be multiple things he's thinking at this point, and all of them interest me) 'That means a lot to me, Alina.' *her turning to look at his face* 'You mean a lot...' *her immediately lowering her gaze and tracing where her mal scar used to be lmao* 'to everyone' *her raising her gaze to him again* The music swelling as she walks up to him, her barely grazing her fingers against his collar, his eyes looking across hers as if in disbelief, her looking at his lips, and then her closing the gap between them. Him being a little stiff, indubitably from being shocked, and yet giving into it almost instinctively as if he can't help it. The violin coming in powerfully yet softly to emphasize the tenderness of it all. This thing has been made with so much love and I can't contain myself about it. Him opening his eyes half a second after Alina, almost as if waking up from a dream and then, following a relaxing of his facial muscles as he clearly regains his composure, immediately looking inscrutable. Her doubting herself, not losing eye contact as he stands up from the desk, but her sudden fear, regret, and embarrassment clear on her face. Her sides of her lips slowly rising giving way his own self mirroring her and breaking into smile and composing himself and breaking into smile again before saying 'Not many people surprise me, Miss Starkov'. Her now fully breaking out into a smile, her face a picture of unguarded joy, she looks down only to have his gaze follow her face. Both of them giddy in the other's presence and the audience can feel it. It feels like he is leaning in for another one when the sound of the door opening makes them spring apart, regaining their composures and standing at a respectable distance from each other. Her poorly suppressing a smile, him looking at her visibly, her mimicking him with a glance out of her periphery, causing her to give in to her smile completely. Him looking visibly distracted as he attempts to pay attention to whoever came into the room. the Jesper of it all Jesper the mega idiot not being able to control his face from doing a thing as he realises the person who caught him where he wasn't supposed to be is the same person he was making sexy eyes at before and yet regaining his composure in record time The poor stable hand actually being interested in Jesper and being adorable with Jesper just being like charm itself Can you believe looking at Jesper Llewellyn Fahey in the flesh and having him make sexy eyes at you and then forgetting about it? Because I simply cannot. The line about light role play? Felt a little not right. GO OFF STABLE HAND WHO PUSHED JESPER AGAINST A WALL AND KISSED HIM, HE LITERALLY SAID IM POPPING OFF AND

THEN HE DID Zoya Zoya saying fuck off to the random racist comment made by one of the guests, but she was racist to Alina herself? (I mean South Asian-East Asian hate is not uncommon so idk) David omg the cutie pie adjusting his hair at the fete HEARTRENDER FUCKING HUSBANDS Fedyor insisting on Ivan eating the sweet and Ivan's solemn head shake like no babe im on a diet and Fedyor being like heart eyes please eat the sweet my love and then Fedyor holding Ivan's face to make him nibble off a corner and Ivan's face splitting into a reluctant grin Kaz the actor Seeing Kaz the actor instead of Kaz the master of trickery and plans is an interesting thing Kanej being Kanej cute banter interaction, would recommend, 10/10 hints at Arken being sus The look Kaz gives Arken when Arken leaves, I really should have known, I was simply being a clown Darkling and the dumb royalty We love the Darkling suppressing his anger at these otkazat'sya rulers dissing the grisha and the little palace Alina's entrance The soft hum that we hear when Alina enters but we don't see her face Alina's adorable peeking The Darkling's expression changing despite being done af with these mfers and instantaneously on catching a glimpse of Alina, she really has that power huh He really made it look like his pupils dilated and who knows maybe they did Him trying to call her out for not following protocol but him melting and saying 'you look lovely, by the way' Her saying 'you look like you needed saving' I can't breathe you're so cool ballroom at the little palace I must confess I expected the ballroom of the winter fete to be bigger

GENYADAVID looking at each other and pretending not to look at each other, my fucking heart Kanej being Kanej Kaz implying they're gonna try to trick the people into thinking that the fake sun summoner is real and Inej being done with his shit Alina's demonstration HER NAME IS ALINA STARKOV yes mfer The way people back away as he steps, god the power of this man Inej looking at Kaz omfg Okay him clapping the darkness into the room was cool af I love the shadow summoning effects so fucking much The first bit of light that Alina summons lighting up the gold parts of her black kefta, absolute perfection Alina just enjoying her power and then looking to Alek, his lips parting when she does Aw Fedyor looking at Ivan in a I told you she could do it way Genya and Fedyor exchanging glances as Alina besties THE CROWD SAYING SANKTA ALINA INEJ SAYING SANKTA ALINA WITH HALF A TEAR IN HER EYE DAMN THIS IS POWERFUL Jesper and Dima IMMEDIATELY TRANSITIONING TO JESPER SAYING 'SAINTS' AS A NAKED STABLE BOY GETS OFF OF HIM AGAHSJSJSJKS I CAN'T IM CACKLING AT THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW HOW ARE THEY SO PERFECT (his name's dima btw) Poor fucking Dima getting frightening orders from his superior as his hookup sneaks out with horses that are definitely not his Arken the little shit Ah Arken why'd you have to go and do this I was actually amused by you before the malyen factor omg Mal's here and someone saw him getting here apparat and faith? The apparat literally jumping out of the palace walls at Alina lol man I do love the religion angle of this universe and it would have been so fucking cool if it were explored a bit better ew apparat that grab was very violent mal/darkling interaction the darkling's reaction at his recognition of mal was so funny ah yes my arch nemesis, the other angle of this teen immortal love triangle how utterly delightful someone explain the darkling's 'are you alright' to mal, is it because Alina was worried sick, is it mind games, is it curiosity, what is it Im still don't know how to feel with them attaching a literal symbol to the sun summoner, to Alina's dreams and to the stag itself 'not until I see Alina' THE LOYAL HIMBO ENERGY IN THIS ONE ISTFG I have never known nose acting until I saw Ben Barnes, he uses his nose in his acting and it is absolutely wonderful; case in point, the 'i beg your pardon' to mal with the rage making his voice shake okay but why is every mal darkling interaction like, everything the prompt answer our baby mal gives and the satisfaction it brings to his face, fucking amazing the darkling being literally struck by this, his mouth literally agape, king this is a 20 year old lmao Baghra! OMG WE GOT A GLIMPSE OF BAGHRA'S FIRE YES Genya supremacy Genya beating Arken up let's fucking go Marie's plot influence and Racism? Yellowface? again? hmm bardugo (then again, I have no authority over this, I'm south asian) Ive already talked about how I'm interested in knowing if and how changing Marie's time and place of death going to influence the plot much because in the books it caused a chain reaction doing a lot of stuff Alina, my love Alina just, laughing with other Grisha, feeling at home, ah be still my treacherous heart Mal's confrontation scene with Alina that was in the books being retconned to Mal calling out to her body double, hmm, probably to make Mal more likeable, I don't have any feelings about this particularly Nadia and Fedyor Okay the both of them, smiling and walking, hand in hand, cute mlm wlw solidarity moment that I missed during the first watch Kanej interacting with Alina Why is Alina literally so adorable The music picking up as the Inferni catches sight of the 'limping man' (what? it was funny when he said it) Blue Irises Alina's face showing a certain sense of calm when Alek shows up Alina's face after the Darkling says 'for you' and presents her with blue irises is something like gasp okay you've got game sexy shadow man mal fite time omg I thought she was taking mal to talk to Baghra or smth not to kill him 🤡 aren't oprichnikis like

otkazat'sya or am I missing smth? Because Baghra's spy is obvs a fabrikator THE DESK SCENE omg the scene hath arriveth the fact that Alina can't stop smiling gods, the flirting 'I don't recall this, being part of the schedule' him turning back and saying 'it isn't' her hiding her face through the cover of smelling the flowers and just how coy she acts, like the literal eyelid batting Ma'am how embarrassing for you to have feelings rn these two are my absolute favs of all time the camera moving as they move from their spots on which they had to stand on to get the shot of their shadows almost kissing her nodding and smiling at him saying 'she'll probably be alright' like okay I'm ready for smooches kiss me already and him going 'don't you think' trying to savour this moment IM SORRY BUT THE FUCKING SCORE AT THE MOMENT THEIR LIPS MEET YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CANNOT COPE the way his hand is so big that he can almost hold her entire face in it the way she grips the back of his head I'm sorry I feel so disrespectful saying this but the sounds they make+I think that's a um titty grab or maybe it's just a holding someone and the placement was um unintended but I doubt it because everything in this fucking show is so intentional+ the lift up onto the desk+ the faces they make+ um god I'm going to hell for this but when they sort of grind into each other (I understand this is acting and they're just good at their job) but god does all of this make my heart race and also makes me happy I guess LITERAL GIGGLES I can't I'm soft 🥺🥺🥺 his little head shake at the knock on the door when he goes in for one last kiss before she gets off the desk and her eyes going all oy you, go get the door, I'm not going anywhere don't make whoever it is wait is so adorable and domestic her just standing there mouth agape to herself when he walks away HIM STILL FLUSHED AND BLUSHING AND HIS HAPPINESS CLEAR AS DAY ON HIS FACE WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR his gaze flits to her when Ivan says Alina was the target 'I'll be waiting' love, I physically can't anymore Little cheek hold and walk away Her little smile to herself nearly fading before he jumps back in again to her surprise and to ours to hold her face with both his hands and kiss her one last time, and yes, he does kiss like he's being drafted for the war in the morning Her little mouth open and close and then her little smile to herself after he leaves I refuse to watch the rest of the episode right now because no let me steep in the darklina bliss

[pinkhysteria]

i just think it's funny that all the hosies seem to be physically incapable of speaking about legit any of the hizzie interactions this ep. like they all seemed to blackout during their scenes beyond a few comments being annoyed that the show had lizzie make up with hope so easily. like that's it. if you based the ep off of their live tweets you would think they didn't even talk (just like idk... a certain other ship...)

They have made it very clear through a lot of the things they throw “OOC” at that they don’t pay attention to anybody outside of those two girls - and think that’s cute and funny, when they simultaneously keep pretending they can make a single coherent theory to save their lives - so I’m sure this was rough for them!

And the crazy thing is, it’s not like their fave wasn’t in the episode. It’s not like Josie didn’t get any fun content. A lot of the fandom has been begging for Josie and MG to be friends again, and that’s what happened. Elena stans are being more positive about that girl, coming up with headcanons for what sort of stuff her and Josie are talking about while there. Majority of them favor Josie, so they’re not being completely bereft of content.

A lot of them like to sit around and pretend any episode with Hosie is actually a cinematic masterpiece, and I can’t, lol. Suddenly Legacies is a corny cheeseball show (it is) in the worst of ways when those two aren’t staring at each other, but. Their Holy Grail of an episode has been the one with a dumb looking cartoonization clip, that awkward scene of Hope spinning in the air, horrific pacing and editing, and Josie being a fucking pig. That’s quality television to them, that’s Hope having independent focus, nothing in that episode was dumb as hell and horribly written, beyond the fact that they didn’t kiss of course. They’re always talking about how they have “taste” and “standards” but just like anybody else watching this stupid show, they really don’t.  😭

It’s unfortunate because they are meant to be friends (I don’t think they were always written consistently, same as most of the other dynamics, but it’s never been this bad) and there’s no good IC reason Hope shouldn’t even be allowed to refer to Josie by name. But a good chunk of them are so full of themselves and would absolutely be cheering and laughing if any other dynamic was in that place, that I find it hard to feel bad for most of them.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Don’t even need to “-if it was Hizzie.” They already sit around and crack obsessed quip after obsessed quip about “at least we’re getting content 🤪“ about Posie, but... as far as I can tell canonically Penelope has thought more about Josie in a completely different country than Hope has thought about Josie this season, and she’s just at a different school. :( Sad to see, sad to see!

[jenleigh1]

for the MGS ask game (oooh these are all so cool but I'll try to restrain myself ... a little): 3, 8, 15, 18, 27, 40, 42, 45

It is a very juicy list, lol!  These are very nice choices. :)

3. Is there anything you would change about the plot?

AH... I have so many mixed feelings about this.  Probably the single biggest aspect of the plot that I wish had been different, from a purely selfish emotional standpoint, is the ending of mgs4.  But would I actually want to change it, if I could?  Yikes.  Hard to say.

I remember playing through 4 for the first time, and hoping SO HARD that they were going to find some kind of miraculous solution to save Snake because that entire game is, like, one big gut punch.  But watching the narrative arc unfold, it became increasingly clear that a surprise “happy ending” like that would ultimately feel cheap, and unearned.  That tension between what I *wanted* to happen, and what I knew made sense for the story as written.  

(I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about the mgs4 ending in general, but I will try hard to rein them in here since they’re not really all that relevant to the question here.  Ha.  Self control is hard!)

So, yeah.  Ultimately, I think things played out in a way that felt right.  BUT, DAMN.

8: Favourite little detail in a game?

I have lots of these that I love!  For this round, I’m going to say - the way your cardboard box starts to look increasingly battered if you’ve been shot at while wearing it.  Looking a bit crumpled, flaps falling off, etc.  And just the way you look when you’re running around in it, in general.  LONG LIVE THE BOX.

15: Quotes you think about most often?

Another good one, that I’m happy to give multiple answers for!  I’m quite partial to the exchange that Snake and Otacon have over Sniper Wolf’s body, as Snake is walking away through the snow:

“What was she fighting for?  What am I fighting for?  What are you fighting for?”

And Snake’s answer: “If we make it through this, I’ll tell you.”

It’s a good character moment between the two of them, and a bit of insight into what’s driving them both at that point in the story.

18: Most wtf scene?

Another wonderful moment from mgs2... God, I wish I could go back and play that whole game again for the first time.  So much great stuff.

Raiden being freed from the torture table in Arsenal Gear, and getting control again as the player while he’s... completely naked.  Running around with his hands over his junk.  And then you proceed to play like this for a fair amount of time before you finally get your clothes back - because why the fuck not, I guess??

NAKED CARTWHEELS, people.  You can’t make this shit up.

27: Underrated character?

Hmm... I’m going to go with maybe Strangelove, here??  I like her a lot, and I think it’s interesting to think about how different Hal’s life might have been if she had lived.  I do feel like she gets a fair amount of love in fandom considering that she’s a relatively minor character, but I wish she could have had a bigger role on-screen in the series.

40: Do you own any merchandise?

Ha - I do indeed!  I will sometimes get mgs stuff from my family for birthday/Christmas gifts, etc.  So I own a couple of T-shirts, a couple of the Figma action figures (which are pretty fantastic), and the Otasune plushie set that just came out recently.

42: Most memorable codec call?

Can I award this to all of Otacon’s “save frequency” proverbs in the mgs2 tanker chapter, collectively??  This was another thing that sold me on the series, right off the bat.  Those convos are pure gold.

45: Do you want another game or should the series be left alone?

Oh, that’s tough.  I’m torn, because it’s hard not to want MOAR CONTENT, when it comes to anything you love.  But there’s also something comforting about having everything be *finished,* so you can look at it as a whole and appreciate the overall story from beginning to end.  (Though of course that’s always a bit muddy with mgs, since the games tend to jump around a fair amount as far as chronological order goes, and you have different main characters doing things in different time periods, etc.)

If there were going to be any further games, I would potentially be interested in seeing remakes of mg1 and 2.  Otherwise, honestly, I’m pretty satisfied with what we’ve got, and I’d be afraid that any further additions would just make the story messier.

[ddaengyoonmin]

Faerie Realm 13.5

Pairing: Ot7xReader; currently mainly Jungkook x reader with past Jimin x reader and future other members. ;)

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(In previous and later chapters)

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings; Drunken bar argument with threats and mentions of killing. 

Word count: 1.2k

Taglist: (I definitely think I missed some of you and some usernames were changed from my last list😭  so im sorry if this is all wrong lol.  I am doing away with taglists for the most part but ill keep on for faerie realm if anyone wanted to be tagged let me know) : @taekookandyoongi @life-anime-food @i-like-puppy-mg @seesawsmin-flower @karissassirak @btsvisuals @vynia

A/N: Okay it's been months but Faerie Realm is back y'all! So let me explain myself.  Faerie Realm is my baby, and this series is FAR from done.  But, I got stumped, really bad lol  The way I ended the last chapter I honestly didn’t have a plan on where to go to transition to what I wanted to happen next, and I didn’t totally know what to do for the boss fight scene.  So, I hope we aren’t mad about this but there is a time jump happening.  

This chapter is called 13.5 because I wanted to have an explanation of what went on in our characters lives during the months that pass between chapter 13 and 14. 

Thank you to those who still send asks about Faerie Realm, and to the new readers who I see binging through the series in my notifications.  I love you all and appreciate you patiently waiting for this update of my ridiculous fic I love so much. 

The boss battle had gone smoothly, without a hitch.  Yoongi and Namjoon’s fire attacks were extra effective against the type of creature that was in the cave, and many other groups had joined in to take it down. 

You and Hoseok were thanked and rewarded by quite a few of the other groups for your healing you’d done for their team during the attack.  Though you insisted you didn’t need to be compensated you both wound up with quite a lot more gold in your inventory than you’d started with. 

You didn’t feel like you needed to be rewarded though.  You did heal quite a few people from other teams,but there were quite a few times where you knew you could’ve been healing another team’s member, yet, you were too scared to take both your hands away from Jungkook.  Memories of the attack in the woods where you’d almost lost him running through your mind. 

After defeating the boss, a giant glowing blue portal with white flecks swirling around in circles like dye dropped into water appeared.  It sat in the back of the cave where the boss had spawned.  

The first team to go through wasn’t your own.  Jungkook had held your team back, skeptical of the newly spawned portal, saying it wouldn’t hurt to let someone else test it out first. 

Almost instantly the guinea pig team as you’d all called them, a group of all Fire Fairies, returned back the way they came.  They gave it the all clear, and upon realizing this really was the portal to level 2 the surviving players of Faerie Realm started to pour in to the next floor. 

There were those players who chose to stay back in the starting village, not many but a few.  It was mostly those who had been too scared to leave it in the first place.  

A lot of people made fun of them and many whispers and harsh words were passed around by the other players. 

“Why should we be out here risking our lives for players that aren’t going to even help.”

“You know this game has limited resources right? Certain things don’t respawn and yet here we are sending food back to the main town.” 

That sentiment tied in to an even darker one floating around the groups. 

“We should just kill the players not helping out.  All they are doing is being lazy, and taking resources we need to live.” 

Upon hearing that spoken in a bar on floor two Jungkook had stood up on his table, well drunk, but speaking clearly. 

“Say that again.” He growled, now looking down at the group of Sylphs that had been drunkenly muttering those words far too loud. 

The tallest of the men turned around to Jungkook, staring up at him unphased. 

“I said, we should get rid of all the leeches in Main Town, who sit around on their ass all day while *we* get our ass’s kicked down into the red to get us all out of here.” 

Jungkook paused for a moment. 

“You think that they wouldn’t help if they could?” He asked, “You don’t think that they wish they were out here helping.  Some of those people back there have never played an MMO in their life let alone even picked up a video game, and you expect them to be out here doing what you’re doing?” Jungkook hissed. 

“Ah bullshit, we all know your girl started out as a first time player, word gets around.  I don’t see any excuses for them not just putting in the effort like she did.” The green haired man rolled his eyes. 

Jungkook now jumped down from the table, you had gasped for a second thinking in his drunkenness he’d fall but he landed smoothly in front of the man, their chests now almost touching. 

“You think just cuz one exception happens that means anyone can just do it huh? That everyone has the resources and opportunities and people to coach them through the game? 90% of those people back in Main would die the instant they stepped foot out of the safe zone.  Those are people’s families.  People’s moms who decided to pick up the game to try out before giving it to their kid for their birthday.  So fuck you.  I’ll fight to get them out of this game.  I’ll fight to get us all out of this game.  If you’re just doing this for yourself you might as well just fly into a dragon's mouth and get fucked…” 

“Ohhhh kay.” Taehyung was now pulling Jungkook away from the fuming sylph who was now turning beet red and pursing his lips together so tightly you thought he’d pull a muscle. 

You were proud of Jungkook though, his attitude had greatly changed from when this all had first gone down.  He’d gotten less selfish, more caring, he was a hero in this game. 

You on the other hand found yourself turning opposite.  The longer you stayed in this game, the more you cared just about you and your team getting out of this alive than anything else. 

It wasn’t easy knowing how to feel.  You certainly wouldn’t go around talking about killing the townspeople of main though.  Some people in this game were just vile, not far off from the real world. 

--------------------------

In the months after the boss battle that led your team to floor two, you’d grown close with all of the boys.  Your newest additions Yoongi and Hoseok had stuck around the whole time and there was no doubt this was your permanent group. 

You and Hoseok had especially grown close, being that the two of you shared the rare trait of being a water fairy you’d often get grouped together when doing raids so that you could use a series of double team healing spell moves that you’d come up with together. 

He was honestly becoming your best friend. 

Things with Jungkook had stayed the same, you loved him, and he loved you. 

Jimin and you still kept each other at an awkward distance, but the months spent every day together had certainly healed much of the strain between the two of you.  

Though Jungkook never quite fully got on board with being fond of Jimin, he was kinder to him and things had been civil. 

Namjoon and Yoongi became quick friends over similar reasons to you and Hoseok, a shared set of skills made for some great bonding moments. 

Jin you’d gotten to know better, realizing there was an extremely funny and entertaining man under the fear that he’d had for so long was one of the highlights of your time here.  

Growing closer to all of them was such an odd gift you’d gotten through this life or death game.  

----------

--(Snippet from chapter 14 :D) 

“Y/n?” Taehyung called out from behind the almost unreal blue veil of water separating the two of you. 

“I’m still here…” You spoke quietly.  Not quite sure how to respond to his confession. “I just don't know what to say.  Jungkook is…” 

“I know.” He cut you off.  

You couldn’t see him well, you wanted to just push through the water and run over to him, shake him, ask him why the hell he thought it was okay to say this to you now. 

“I just thought you should know.”

[thegiftedoneishere]

Thoughts on Legacies 2x15

- - Lawd Raf...don’t tell me they done killed him over some Necromancer bullshit. He can’t never get anything decent happening to him.

- Josie sure does know how to make an exit and entrance lmao. That bitch floated down the stairs lmao

- Yes with the squad and all black.

- Aww MG...he’s such a cupcake.

- Kaleb is hilarious. Kinda dig Hope and Kaleb taking command.

- Come the fuck on Landon he was about to remember...he’s such a fucktard sometimes.

- These lacefront wigs this season...at least they made Hope’s look better.

- Holy shit...not the merge. 

- Bet your ass wished you hadn’t TKO’s Ric now, huh Hope?

- Well this plan is stupid...

- Lord Josiemort lmao hahahahahahahahaha. That damn Lizzie

- Damn it. I forgot about that eye.

- Dark Josie is kinda cool

- Did they forget Raf killed someone last season...not on purpose but still.

- Lmao Lizzie is truly fucking hysterical. 

- Damn...did she just kill Alyssa Chang? Holy shit! I mean I didn’t like that bitch but still...

- Well it’s clear Hope didn’t really care about Alyssa too much.

- Lmao Kaleb’s accent in this world

- WTF is goins on with my baby Raf.

- I don’t blame Lizzie honestly. Josie done lost her damn mind. 

- AWWWWWW MG gonna run with her.

- THE ENTRANCES!!!! YES BITCH!

- WTF, how is Alyssa still alive? Lawd Jesus fix it!

- Of course...Hope. Saves the day cause that’s all her plotlines are about. Oh and Landon.

- They done killed my baby Rafael Waithe and I’m simmering.

- Lizzie a low key nerd lmao

- I’m using double damn it from now on.

- Me too Ric...don’t like snakes either.

-Wtf even is this show. 

- Pissed the fuck off!!!

- Again!!!!! Isn’t Hope supposed to be an all powerful witch?!!!

- Lizzie saving someone for a change...I like.

- And Hope was just gonna die? WTF is happening here!!!! This episode is pissing me off.

- Oh shit!!!! Lizzie and MG kiss...I dig but not really

- Rafael lips always juicy...

- Lawd he did the white girl ‘trip and fall in the woods’ smh

- This is bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Lol at MG in on the family hug.

- I guess the plan wasn’t stupid...but still I’m angry at all of this.

- I do love their brotherhood....awww fuck. Awww fuck....awww fuck.

- A really good episode. Like really good but emotionally I’m all over the place. That was way too much shit to stuff into one episode. It felt cluttered and rushed to get to a point. Maybe that was done because we don’t have a lot of episodes left but damn. 

- Fuck Julie Plec for doing that shady shit to Landon. Fuck her for always falling back on that age old trope of killing of POC...the shit is tiring and quite frankly fucked up. I try to ignore it most of the time while watching anything from this world but damn that shit is exhausting. 

- Fuck Legacies...

- I’ll be back next week. 

[sparklyandchic]

🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋

okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!

5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.

cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.

meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today. 

relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND. 

ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward! 

[roses-and-arrows]

🍊 - What are your favourite genres of threads? Fluff? Angst? Etc 🍇 - Have you even encountered any partners that threw a tantrum at you? 🥕 - What do you think about the current theme trends?

🍊 - What are your favourite genres of threads? Fluff? Angst? Etc

I love me a good fluff and romance RP. Especially if it’s a slowburn deal. Not just that immediate “I love you” after three weeks bullshit that I’ve seen more often than not. It leads to a lot of issues down the line when the RP itself gets stale. It makes it worthwhile if you actually worked for it. Worked through all the insecurities, trust one another, and finally coming to the realization that you love the person. *chef kiss*

🍇 - Have you even encountered any partners that threw a tantrum at you?

GOD YES. The first really bad one was when I didn’t want to hop over on a toon I had with someone and spent my time on MG until that imploded after the GM left. She would constantly be poking me  and guilt tripping me into going over to WrA. Which yes, I get it, we had characters together. I should have been clear that I didn’t know if I was going to come back, but she was also gone for two years with some IRL stuff. Fast forward down the line and because I didn’t want my character to just sit there in some ivory tower and couldn’t interact with people. So when I pushed back, she basically wrote it off that my character didn’t care for her, the character had found someone else, and I decided to just say fuck it and retcon everything. Not even a week later, their character was with someone else. Pretty sure they were planning it from the get go.

The next one was recent and why I purged some of my characters. You ever have a friend that you just want some time away from? Like you’ve been around them on a near daily basis and just need a break from them? Said friend just jumped to assumptions that I was ditching them entirely and didn’t want to be friends with them. When you have to reassure them that’s not the case, that’s one of the few indicators that this isn’t going to work. Said person ended up messaging me after I told them not to after two days of not talking. As if I was their girlfriend and needed to reaffirm that we weren’t breaking up. Told them to leave me alone, but they wouldn’t stop. Pile on every other thing I had told them to stop with and it just got ugly.  There’s other details to it, but that’s the jist of what I’m willing to share.

🥕 - What do you think about the current theme trends?

I’ve been away from WoW RP for like... a year or so now? I have no idea what people are doing and what’s really going on. Hell I don’t even know if people are still together, if they finally got into a relationship or whatever. Are people going ham with the veil of life and death being shattered? Makin’ all the angsty stories seeing dead loved one? I don’t know! lol 

\o/ @helryder666

[casually-inlove]

I'm a bit curious about the change in He Tian's attitude towards Mo in some earlier 2016 moments. He looked like he was playing around with Mo and even taunt him then, but the kiss came out of nowhere, and he is now having a crush on the boy. What do you think that makes him interested in Mo in the first place, and at which point did he start taking their friendship seriously, and started loving Mo?

Hey there, anon!

That’s a fabulous question actually. At some point, I also wondered what it was that made He Tian interested in Momo to begin with, or when this transition actually happened, and I was addling my head a lot over it, lol. I can only speculate here, but nonetheless here goes.

First of all, let’s take a look at how OX initially presented He Tian. We saw a wealthy, privileged and somewhat snobbish boy, who enjoyed top grades and enduring popularity among other students. Hell, even the teachers were fond of him, while girls flocked around He Tian every break. Whatever he said or mentioned was being met with giggles and bashful sighs. You get the picture. 

Unfortunately, it’s all but a pretty wrapping. In reality, none of those people knows who He Tian really is. We as readers know that in fact, He Tian suffers from profound loneliness. We know that despite all that money, he barely has any noteworthy personal possessions. That he still experiences the aftershocks of childhood traumas. That his relationships with his family are deeply fractured. People who surround He Tian on a daily basis could be described as sycophants. Their adoration towards him is pretty shallow. They are so crazy about him why exactly? Because he’s handsome, rich, popular, etc. Not saying that it’s a bad reason to like someone, but it’s not particularly meaningful either.

Anyway, this leads me to my main point. He Tian is used to that sort of shallow attention and plays along with it for his own reasons. He’s used to people nearly applauding him for whatever he does. He’s used to people wanting to be near him. If we think back to his childhood, we’ll see that instead of a mother he had been (apparently) surrounded by maids (?), who were hired to care for him (and that’s apparently why he’s so bad at house chores, haha). 

Case and point: he’s used to being in the center of attention and having people bend over to his whims.

And then… cue Mo Guan Shan, who gives zero fucks about He Tian. Who gives zero fucks about his popularity or his money, who has the balls to tell him to bugger off in the rudest ways possible. Momo doesn’t dance to his tune, and that’s something new to He Tian, something he hadn’t experienced before.

So… Momo comes off as belligerent, dirty-mouthed school bully who is contemptuous towards those rich and powerful (he has reasons for that, but still Momo’s view is tinted through his own childhood experiences). There’s raw honesty in Mo Guan Shan and that initially fascinates He Tian. Let’s admit it: He Tian comes off as being bored or somewhat indifferent towards life. The fact that there’s one person who doesn’t bow and kowtow before him is refreshing. That’s probably one of the reasons why He Tian hires Mo to cook and clean for him in the first place. He’s bored and Mo is the cure to his boredom. A cure that runs his mouth, threatens to knock his teeth out and outright calls him fake and dangerous, haha.

If I were to give a Tvtrope to this one, it would be “I love you because I can’t control you”. He Tian cannot approach MGS normally, like how he would have approached anyone else. Friendly attitude doesn’t work with him. Momo truly reminds me of a stray dog that is used to people treating it so badly that it would bite the hand that tried to pet it. There’s also a matter of MGS being very prideful. That raw honesty of his doesn’t fade away even when He Tian gives him beatings or pays him to do house chores. Sure, he takes the money but he never sugarcoats his attitude, never hides his distaste for He Tian and people like him. He makes it clear that he HATES every second of being near HT or in his apartment, yet he manages to put it aside when needed. 

Anyway, I digress. I believe that fascination on He Tian’s part had been rather instantaneous. It may have very well happened during the fight between XiXi and MGS. Momo has shown that he didn’t follow any rules, and literally had a savagely pragmatic side to him (when he used a stone to hit XiXi). That was probably the moment when HT’s curiosity was aroused. He’s not used to seeing people like that.

The kiss scene is also very telling. From the easiness with which He Tian invades personal bubbles of the others, we can surmise that he thinks it’s no big deal, and if it’s no big deal to him, he literally thinks it’s the same way for everyone else. As I mentioned before, he’s used to people being willing to “give in” to him, hence he seems to have a mindset that he can take whatever he wants (like a spoiled brat, haha) and that nobody ever would mind — precisely because they are willing to begin with. This fails with MGS. Not only he reacts violently, he begins crying. That’s absolutely not the kind of reaction He Tian was expecting; you can blatantly see it written all over his face. He even asks Momo if he finds HT disgusting. 

I believe that’s when He Tian actually felt a pang of guilt for his doings. The way Mo Guan Shan reacted is extremely human and understandable. Someone he DESPISED came up and forcefully pushed their tongue into his mouth, forced him into a kiss that is by all means just another taunt or a joke, not to mention that by the looks of it, it was his first kiss — something that in many cultures is considered to be nearly sacred. And He Tian probably for the first time in his life experienced a rejection. He wanted someone who didn’t want him, and there’s nothing his cool reputation or money could do about it. He also realized that he disgusted somebody — also something new to him. The novelty of it all, the unexpected guilt — these are the new feelings in his otherwise stale daily life. Mo Guan Shan made him experience something dramatically different.

Another point is that there are rather obvious parallels drawn between Momo and that puppy He Tian used to care for. He saved that puppy from a violent mountain torrent and nursed it back to health, just like he saved Mo from She Li and the angry mob later. He Tian’s failure to protect that puppy from “death” (like He Cheng made him believe) is one of the unresolved issues of his past, which he tries to rectify (or I should rather say, prevent from repeating itself) with Mo Guan Shan. Subconsciously he might be projecting that dog onto Mo Guan Shan, although he seems to be very much aware of his own associations, as he calls Momo his puppy.

During the time He Tian spends taunting and forcing Mo to do stuff, he learns things that make him admire Mo. Like Mo’s refusal to sugarcoat his attitude, the fact that he’s shouldering a heavy financial burden, that he’s actually extremely hardworking, that he has pride and doesn’t entertain shallow ideas of being someone’s monkey on a display even for a princely reward. He Tian discovers traits that he likes. He Tian discovers that under that hard-shell hides someone very honest and raw.

Lastly, if you think about it, Momo and He Tian are somewhat very similar: both of them have been marked by isolation. Mo has been ostracized because of his father’s imprisonment, and grew up being mistreated by likes of She Li and possibly looked down on due to his poverty. He’s withdrawn into a shell out of fear of being hurt, and he the way he views others is marked by suspicion and trust issues. He’s used to people acting nasty to him and, as sad as it sounds, to Mo this is a normal occurrence. What’s abnormal and suspicious is when somebody pulls a random act of kindness on him. And that’s what makes him think “why? what’s their agenda? what’s the catch?”. He Tian, on the other hand, is isolated because of his money and family influence. People who surround him are sycophants, those fangirls and fanboys, whereas in reality not only they don’t care for who he is, they probably wouldn’t even believe if he admitted to being a broken bird. Cause that’s unfathomable, right? Someone who has been born with a silver spoon in their mouth cannot be unhappy or hurting or alone. On top of that, he also has experienced his trust shattered, by his older brother, no less. He feels betrayed. He Tian is just as lonely — if not more — as Momo. So I guess that makes them — two coyotes from the same hill? Or how that Chinese “two peas in the pod/birds of a feather flock together” saying goes, haha. But even still, Momo has something that He Tian never had: someone to love and fight for (Mo’s mom), a home where he’s cherished. I think on subconscious level He Tian craves that, and Momo enables him to vicariously live that life he never had. Does it even make sense? xD

At which point He Tian’s playing around grew into something more serious? I think the kiss episode was akin to a bucket of cold water doused over He Tian’s head that made him reconsider some of his ways. What really triggered his desire to help MGS was probably the plot devised by She Li and the consequent fight. It may have made him suspect that MGS with his financial issues is far more vulnerable to shady vultures than he initially thought and that MGS is walking on an edge here. A little push to the wrong side and he would end up in deep shit. It’s after that fight that He Tian realizes how much Momo is shouldering by himself, and it’s then when we see him try helping him, like getting him a part-time job in that photography studio. Incidentally, it’s also when he’s started to find out Momo’s other sides. Like him being industrious, or unwilling to entertain an idle crowd of onlookers, etc.

Undoubtedly, He Tian’s feelings grew after the mob fight, where Momo got badly injured. We actually see him scared of losing MGS. Not to mention his consequent visit to his father — well they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s also clear to me that Momo’s display of care (during He Tian’s nightmare) had a big impact on HT. That’s when his violent tendencies of forcing Mo gradually fizzled out and became a lot more playful.

So all in all, He Tian probably started to gain feelings once he realized that Momo had his reasons to act like a delinquent, and that underneath it all there lay a person with integrity, who had been simply disenchanted by life and the circumstances that befell on his shoulders.

Whelp, that’s again a long-ass post. These are but my speculations and I don’t aspire for it to be 100% accurate, but I think I jammed in most of my ideas here.

[thephantomporg84]

if i may, what did you mean by 'what happened to Metal Gear and Silent Hill' in particular? im pretty out of the loop but i did like both franchises.

you’re good! Lol.

Konami had been on a downhill slide for ages with shitty behavior/practices/cutting corners and shipping it’s franchises out to be made by studios that had no earthly idea what they were doing (because they think anyone can make a game), but things looked up briefly for a bit in like 2013-early 2015 because they had Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain coming, tiny rumors of Metal Gear Rising 2 floating around, and Hideo Kojima + Guillermo del Toro teaming up with Norman Reedus to produce P.T., a teaser for a Kojima/del Toro directed Silent Hills.

And then they proceeded to lose their collective fucking mind, isolating Kojima from his staff/team and later firing him from the company and canceling Silent Hills entirely. You can even go back through GdT and Reedus’ tweets. They were both baffled and furious.

Hideo Kojima — whether you like him and/or his work or not — is a very well-loved creative personality and has celebrity in his own right and outside of Metal Gear. So, when he was fired, and his trademark ‘A Hideo Kojima Game’ was removed out of spite by Konami from MGSV: TPP, people were pissed. Konami even caught wind that Kojima was supposed to accept awards for MGSV + an ‘industry icon’ award at the 2015 Video Game Awards and basically got their lawyers to bar him from even showing up to the event.

It was bad enough that, even in a 2019 interview, Kojima said that he “thought he’d lost everything”.

And to be clear, it’s not just Kojima — he was just the dev famous enough to draw people’s attention to what was/is going on. This is the current state of Konami:

(I won’t go into more detail on this, because it is genuinely depressing and terrifying, but if you’re really curious about all the shit at Konami, I highly recommend Jim Sterling’s videos on Konami.)

The reason I’m saying all this in relation to DMC is because I’m glad Devil May Cry/Capcom didn’t take the route of Silent Hill/MGS/Konami, and that Capcom, despite its faults, seems to have taken notes on the shitshow Konami has become and the ugly PR hit they took after the Kojima debacle.

Hideaki Itsuno, according to Reuben Langdon, wasn’t happy at Capcom and was ready to resign after DmC: Devil May Cry. Control of DMC as a property + a sequel to DMC4 was part of his conditions for staying. That could have (and likely would have) easily blown up in Itsuno’s face if Capcom functioned like Konami. Or worse yet — we could have ended up with a Devil May Cry V that had quality on par with Metal Gear Survive and not Metal Gear Solid V.

(For the love of my sanity and the protection of your own, do not google Metal Gear Survive.)

[eldritchsurveys]

864.

@soulflysurveys

1 Which would you rather learn more about: Christianity or Rastafari? >> I thought Lane had disappeared because he is just not showing up in the #surveys tag for me anymore. Had to go to his actual blog like a god damn barbarian. Fucking really starting to hate this website. Anyway, I know far more about Christianity than I do about Rastafari at this point in time, so I guess the latter for the sake of variety. 

2 When was the last time you cried listening to a song? What song was it & what made you cry? >> Uh.... hmm. I went through my Last.fm scrobble (who invented that fucking word) log to try and jog my memory, and the last possible candidate is on the fifteenth of June, because I have Fundamentally Loathsome by Marilyn Manson scrobbled on that day. And that song is pretty reliable about putting me in my feels, so it’s possible I might have shed a tear then. But I don’t remember.

3 If you have a YouTube account, what do you use it for? >> I just use it for keeping track of my subs and playlists and viewing history. I don’t post on it.

4 How often do you watch interviews with musicians/celebrities? >> Rarely. For example, I’ve watched interviews with Darren Aronofsky because I’m interested in his process (watched a bunch of them after I saw mother! lmao).

5 How often do you read biographies/search up more information about musicians celebrities? >> Not as often as I did in my early twenties. Read a lot of musician bios then.

6 Do you enjoy visiting book stores? What section are you typically drawn to? >> I don’t visit bookstores much anymore (for the obvious pandemic reasons, of course, but also even before that). I read ebooks the most, after all. Also, bookstores are just kind of overwhelming. Too much to look at, too many things to pull at my attention.

7 Is there something about Xanga users that used to frustrate you that no longer does? >> I don’t even remember by now. I haven’t experienced much frustration with tumblr survey takers. tumblr users on a whole, though... well, that’s a whole nother kettle of dicks and I’m not getting into that here.

8 Here’s a typical question, which do you feel is worse: using marijuana or using alcohol? Why? >> I hate this question. Especially because for me it’s very subjective -- sure, alcohol has a caustic and long-term effect on the body, even with moderate usage. It sucks, as a moderate drinker who was a former frequent drinker myself. And marijuana’s dangers are both contextual (depending on method of consumption) and person-dependent; you’re definitely not going to get cirrhosis of the liver or whatever from popping edibles. But personally, if I were to consume more than a couple mg of THC right now, I’d probably go fucking todash. Which is a situation that is dangerous for me, mentally (and possibly physically, like when I threw myself down that flight of stairs that time -- I was fine, fortunately, but like...). Meanwhile, I can drink this beer and not go through that at all. So, you might want to be more specific when you ask me a question like this.

9 Have you ever had any bad experiences while under the influence? >> Yeah, I’d imagine that’s pretty clear from my above answer.

10 The last time you went out to eat, who were you with & where did you go? Did you enjoy yourself/the meal? >> Whew. I’m guessing that was... February? We went to Long Road for the cocktails-and-chocolates event, although that wasn’t exactly going out to eat, per se. I don’t remember the last restaurant we went to for actual food.

11 How would you feel if you had to deal with the police? Would you feel nervous, upset, angry? >> I would feel anxious and restless as fuck, at best. Regardless of the context of the situation, even. I’m a neurodivergent Black American with glaringly clear post-traumatic issues, what else would you expect from me.

12 Have you ever had to deal with the principals at school? For what? >> Well, yeah. Stuff.

13 Have you ever done anything pretty daring/against the law with a police officer around? >> I don’t think so. I mean, in NYC cops are all over the place, so maybe accidentally.

14 Is singing something that you enjoy doing? Do you feel you are a horrible, alright or very good singer? >> It is something I enjoy doing, yes. I am a passable singer, I sing well enough for my own purposes and that’s all that matters.

15 What is something you’ve never done in front of/around your best friend? >> ---

16 Are you looking forward to Halloween?  >> I haven’t thought about it.

17 What is the best spirit day your school has? If you’re graduated, what kinds of spirit days did your school have? >> ---

18 Is there anything other Xanga users still might not know about you? Would you like to share it? >> I don’t know, man. How am I supposed to keep track of that? Also, what people know about me depends less on what I’m sharing and more on what they’re reading and how they’re interpreting it. I can take a million revelatory surveys but if no one reads them, then they still don’t know any more about me than the average person...

19 What was the last song that you listened to on repeat? >> Probably You Ain’t Coming Back by Zeal & Ardor. I listen to songs on repeat so infrequently that that’s probably going to be my answer for a while.

20 Who would you rather meet: Marilyn Manson or Skrillex? If you don’t know who either of them are, would you be interested in making dubstep or any kind of music along those lines? >> I don’t want to meet either one of them. I love Manson’s music, though. Not so interested in Skrillex’s.

21 Do you like to make playlists? What kinds of playlists do you usually make? >> I don’t make playlists (save for the “car” playlist, which is my liked songs with all the metal and hard rock and other stuff that Sparrow wouldn’t like removed. so, like, 250 songs, compared to ~1400 total liked songs...... lol). I just shuffle my liked songs on Spotify.

22 Is there anything that you’re terrified of due to past negative experiences? What is it? >> Of course. I’m not going to list all my triggers here, lmao.

23 When was the last time you had a dream related to something that had happened that day? Can you explain it? >> I don’t remember. 

24 How often do you have hot flashes? Are you able to deal with it or does it frustrate you? >> I don’t really have hot flashes, per se. I get hot without environmental triggers sometimes, but that’s usually like... psychosomatic or something. Like, I get really hot and jazzed up when I perceive I’m about to be or currently am in conflict or some other kind of social danger.

[thisiswhymomworries]

Week One

OK so let's start this off with some info stuff first, just for context since I'm on a form of T that seems to be less common

When: I started taking T on Friday, October 18th, so this is for 10/18/19 - 10/25/19

Testosterone: I'm using Androderm, which is a daily patch you stick on exactly like a nicotine patch

Dosage: 2 mg per day, although you can get them in 5 mg per day patches

Changes: Increased hunger, slightly increased acne

Yeah so I fucked up using these patches bc I read my prescription, the doctor's instructions, and ALL the fine print and none of it said FOR HOW LONG you wear the patch. So I was taking them off at night before I went to bed for this whole week, and they're 24 HOUR patches, sooo. This is week one on a half dose basically smh

So the only change I really noticed this week was that I got hungry sooner, more intensely, and more often. For context, going out to eat at a Mexican restaurant, I'd have to be careful not to get too full off of chips and queso before the meal. At the end of this week though, I went out to Ted's Mexican Café, ate half a basket of chips and a whole cup of queso, ate my usual amount of beans, rice, and chicken tamale, and THEN went out and got a single scoop ice cream sundae at Freddie's Custard

(more on the changes, patches vs shots, and comparison selfies below the cut)

That might not sound like a lot to normal people lol but I've struggled my whole life with ARFID (autistic sensory issues with eating and the vague stomach problems we all seem to have). Going on T hasn't made me any less of a "picky eater" or otherwise helped with the sensory issues of not tolerating strong tastes (spices), smells, or mouth feel (food texture), but it HAS let me eat normal proportions of the food I do like and not feel sick afterward.

The increased hunger has also resulted in my body sending CLEAR signals to my brain about when I'm hungry and when I'm full, versus previously my stomach would just hurt and that's all the info I got. Was I hungry? Hurt 😊 😊 😊 Full? Hurt 😊 😊 😊 Nauseous? Overheating? Anxious? HURT 😊 😊 😊

Now I can actually tell a difference between all of that and actually being hungry!!

So yeah, that might not really be trans-related, but goddamn has this one single change improved my life.

As for the acne, that was really just extra redness around the areas I tend to break out in during this first week, but I did get a large pimple and a few smaller ones in those areas once the second week hit

No bad side effects at this point either. I didn't have any mood swings, exhaustion, or nausea. The patches are kind of known for people having a bad reaction to them, like redness, swelling, and itching, but this didn't happen. Spoiler: I do get all that bullshit the second week, but that's also when the weather changed SUPER abruptly (literally from 90 to 60 to 30 in less than a week) and my skin always dries out, gets red, and starts itching during the winter, so I'm not quite ready to blame all of that solely on the patches

more info on them down below!

***

Patches technically give you the same amount of testosterone as shots, just applied daily instead of in a big dose all at once either every week or every two weeks, but the anecdotal wisdom is that the changes are less pronounced and/or happen more slowly. Gels and creams seem to be the same on that front, from what I've heard

I personally wanted to use patches instead of shots because I want slower changes to make sure I'm OK with the side effects. You can't pick and choose, and I'm not too excited about some of them, plus anything uncertain and/or changes in my life give me anxiety, so I'm actually happy with a possibly slower transition

Since patches are applied daily, that also keeps your T levels more stable, versus getting a big spike with a shot that slumps down over the next week / two weeks until the next shot. I didn't want a sudden jump in my hormone levels in case of mood swings, and again, I very much prefer slow, steady, and small changes over a longer period than a sudden big change

If anyone's interested, I can make another post about how I got a prescription for Androderm, how much it costs (it is a lot more expensive than shots), the coupon I'm using that makes it actually affordable ($95 for 60 patches), and all the bullshit doctor visits / insurance stuff

***

all right, I think that's everything, so I'll move on to making the Week Two post now! feel free to send me an ask or a message if you have any questions ^^

comparison selfies from the start of the week to the end of the week:

(friend next to me cropped out for her privacy)

[justselfloathingthings-blog]

Me Ranting About a Bad Magical Girl Meme

So on discord an acquiatance-friend shared a magical girl meme about how “SJWs” ruined MG anime for the “West” that got me so angry that I need to rant about it here. 

Their friend (that showed to them) sadly couldn’t find an original version so here’s one with some rapid-fire responses for reference

I think that really most of the appearance ones are good and dealt with though I need to personally say “lolfuckyou” for “sexy girls and guys”. 

Let’s look at the others?

mostly apolitical beyond same ethnicity

The points in the response are accurate but we can go much further. If having one, broadly speaking (setting aside outliers like Anthy who don’t count I guess) ethnicity is perceived as a political statement (and I don’t disagree it is one essentially), what are we supposed to make of the messages like “have compassion for people even if they’re different?” that when possible, people should always strive for non-aggressive solutions and try to talk things out, even if in the end an aggressive solution is sometimes required? 

If the inclusion of a single ethnicity is a political statement, what should be made of the constant reminders by magical girl anime that gay people exist (more on this later) and that they are people with their own struggles and should be treated just as fairly as everyone else? 

Or themes and messages like that people shouldn’t be judged for superficial differences that really don’t matter, and that people should always strive for forgiveness, even for people that they have distaste for?

What about Utena’s portrayal of an unjust system that essentially perpetuates itself through the lack of desire of people at the top to tear it down and allows for people like the Student Council to have dominion over the rest of the school? Or how Utena’s story very, very frequently is used to deconstruct common shoujo tropes and expose their sexist undertrappings? Hey, remember that time in Huggto that Masato told Emiru that she shouldn’t play the guitar because it wasn’t “for girls” and Lulu is portrayed as justly taking Masato a-fucking-part? Surely no political implications there!

What should be made of episodic points like Miki utilizing Utena’s own critique of the dueling system removing Anthy’s autonomy for his own selfish ends, to the point of repeating it basically word for word? Or how about that scene in Sailor Moon that is basically devoted to softly criticizing Japanese academic culture? 

I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without noting that the blending of femininity and the masculine, in saying that one can be “girly” and still have the ability to save the day and defeat the villain (very very often without any sort of male aid), something soundblasted at the climax of Huggto that “anyone can be a Precure” is ridiculously political at its core?

(psst the SJWs are coming from inside the house) 

P.S. I love how Star Twinkle Precure managed to arguably make this out of date even at the time of its creation. 

generally leaves Yuri to the fandom

lol okay here have a couple canonical manga pages

oh and here’s an actual movie screenshot

(This is roughly an encapsulation of the entire scene btw I’m really not cherry-picking with this one)

Things the Ace Memester is also conveniently forgetting

1. That time in the manga that Chibiusa and Hotaru’s relationship is directly paralleled by Usagi herself to her and Mamoru’s?

2. How Saki and Mai, and Itsuki and Tsubomi, and Setsuna and Love, and Kanade and Hibiki and Lulu and Emiru (excusing the two examples I already gave) are so super clearly supposed to be love interests that it’s borderline text? And on the male end you have the super obvious basically transparent subtext in the Sailor Moon R movie. You also have to deal with Seiya’s super clear interest in Usagi and Usagi’s interest in... basically everyone. 

3. How about the time Regina used the nearly explicitly romantic Japanese word for love in reference to Mana in Doki Doki Precure? Or that time in the manga Rikka explicitly imagined Makoto and Mana getting married? Or that other time in the anime where Rikka talked about how life would be actually genuinely meaningless if she didn’t have Mana in it? How that’s an actual thing she really says?

4. If i’m allowed to include adult-oriented MG anime, how about how Togo from Yuki Yuna is explicitly stated in the extended materials to have a crush on Yuna (as if the show isn’t obvious enough about it)? Or how Nanoha and Fate live together and adopt a kid? Or Homura and Madoka and the subtext Kyouko and Sayaka have going on? Or the canon lesbians in Magical Girl Raising Project that get killed off to show how gritty the show is, but certainly exist? I’e gone this long without even mentioning Utena and Anthy or Shiori and Juri. 

Like “generally” is doing so much heavy-lifting that the poor soul collapses due to the weights simply being far too heavy to be held up with any sort of intellectual honesty. 

“better art and animation”

If you only watch the super-streamlined and high-budget shows, maybe?[1] But like, I am old enough and have enough residual memory to recall how Crystal got lambasted in its first season for its low-grade animation quality, ignoring the often wonky animation in the original franchise.

Like, if you don’t see the poor animation in MG anime, it’s often because of all the short-cuts animators really clearly take to disguise it, typically pouring pretty much all their budget into the important scenes that people really do need to remember. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

“Original ideas and no parodies” 

1. Hey, remember how much inspiration Naoko got from the tokusatsu shows she loved for Sailor Moon? And how things like the team dynamics and color scheme of shows like Precure are so obviously cribbed from the team dynamic in Sailor Moon? 

2. Hey, remember how Futari wa (even though this one does die), Splash Star, Fresh, Suite, Doki Doki (arguably), Princess, and Huggto have eerily similar redemption arcs for one (or more in Splash Star’s case) of their villains? 

3. Hey, remember how basically every season of Precure has a “the Cures are going to break up!?!” episode?

4. Or how plot elements of Princess Precure (like the Haruka-Kanata dynamic) are really clearly inspired by Utena? 

5. Or do you want to talk about how Nanoha was pretty clearly inspired by Cardcaptor Sakura at points? Or how adult-oriented MG anime quite often cribbed from Madoka tonally, thematically, and even in terms of character/plot beats? (MG Raising Project is often the most blatant about this.) 

6. If we’re talking about “parody”, see above vis a vis Utena and shoujo tropes. 

Like oh my god there’s so many examples that I’ve forgotten some as I’ve tried to write this up.

In sum, can reactionaries who want to co-opt MG anime please get out of this fandom? They’re really not wanted. 

1. Though I recall all the nitpicking that Madoka’s animation got back in its time.