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awkwardtickleetoo · 7 months ago

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Lee!George Summer Day 3 - Minecraft, But…

hello everyone!!!! it’s officially pride month which means all gay people are real again isn’t that exciting :) that’s why i’m making my comeback!! even more exciting tho, it is lee!george summer!!!! woooo!!!

if you guys don’t know, lee!george summer is an event created by @wishitweresummer !! make sure you check out this post for the prompts and this tag if you wanna see what everyone else has written for the event!!! originally i wasn’t sure if i was gonna be able to participate, because i’ve been so busy in my personal life and i didn’t know if i would be able to work out any of the days in time, BUT!!! i believe (fingers crossed) i will actually be able to get three whole fics done!!! yippee!!! so this is the first of hopefully three, this is for day 3 of the week which is ‘minecraft, but…’

shoutout to @mushiewrites for reading this as always <3 hope everyone enjoys!!

lee!george, ler!dream, semi-ler!sapnap (indirectly), 3.1k words

“George! Holy fuck, for the love of god, I’m–“ Sapnap yelled, grabbing the headset that had been pulled half off his head by the mischievous man behind him. He heard the signature giggle, shaking his head and sighing, setting his jaw and turning back to the screen. Just as he did, he attempted to slide his headphones back on, but caught his character just as he was shot by a skeleton. Twice. “Oh, shit–!” He yelped, letting go of the crooked headset in favor of jumping back to his mouse and keyboard, killing the enemy mob and quickly sprinting away to safely eat a piece of chicken.

“You literally suck,” George teased, biting his bottom lip to hold in another laugh when he heard Dream scoff on the couch behind him. He glanced over, a proud smile on his face when Dream looked at him in fond disapproval, raising his eyebrows and shrugging as if to say, ‘hey, you reap what you sow’– or whatever dumb thing he would say to warn George of consequences he would never listen to.

All three of them had been just hanging out in Sapnap’s office as he practiced for a Minecraft tournament he was due to play in a few days after, before George had gotten bored of sitting on the couch and scrolling through TikTok and Twitter with Dream. He has gotten antsy, constantly shifting positions, moving from resting his head on Dream’s shoulder, to looking up at the ceiling, to chilling with one of the cats as they strolled in and out, to sprawling out over the couch, to laying upside down with his head hanging off the cushions. He has played mindlessly with his phone, his fingers, some trinkets in the room, Dream’s fingers, and really anything he could to keep himself occupied.

But he was bored. And when George gets bored, George becomes a menace. And this time, his target was Sapnap.

“I do not suck,” Sapnap grumbled, only half thinking about his words as he focused more on crafting the iron in his inventory into armor.

“You do,” George leaned against the back of Sapnap’s chair. “Minecraft but Sapnap sucks,” He said, putting his hands on Sapnap’s shoulders and shaking him slightly. The action made Sapnap growl, trying to keep himself still as he finished the armor and put it on his character, instinctively going into third person mode as he swung his arm in the air and crouched a few times. The shaking made his headphones fall off again, and he stopped playing to reach up to grab them again.

“Jesus Chri–“ He mumbled under his breath, cut off when George grabbed his hat instead. “George!” He yelled, grabbing for it, but George held it up above his head, standing on his toes while Sapnap stayed seated, the distance too far for Sapnap to grab without standing up. George laughed as he struggled to reach for it, throwing his head back and clutching the hat to his chest.

“Minecraft but Sapnap is short!” George said through his laughter, and he heard Dream chuckle at the comment as well. “That’s just real life!”

“Fuck off!” He warned, standing and snatching his hat back, putting it backwards on his head and situating the headphones on top of it– straightened out now– to make it a harder target to reach. “Come on, G, I’m trying to practice, please?” Sapnap said softly, getting back to the game just as a spider was approaching him, preparing to attack. He caught it just in time, whipping around and aiming his sword at it.

“Okay, fine. Fine. I’ll stop,” George conceded, leaning over Sapnap’s chair again, this time wrapping his arms around the back and resting his cheek on the cool leather to watch his friend as he played.

“Good. Thank you,” Sapnap said, earning a hum from his friend, and the room became enveloped in a warm silence once again.

This went on for a few minutes, the three boys only breaking the silence with small comments and conversations, until the next in-game night rolled around and Sapnap was trapped in a field full of creepers and zombies. He had started off okay, able to weave between the mobs he could avoid and kill the ones he couldn’t, but his pattern was broken eventually, and he was hit with back to back punches from a zombie and an explosion from a creeper that had the all too familiar red hue covering the screen. He let out a groan, but George barked out a laugh from behind him, and he already knew he was in for an earful.

“Shut the hell up,” Sapnap said before George even spoke, but George just grabbed onto the back of his chair and pulled on it slightly.

“You literally just died to a creeper, you’re so bad,” George teased, giggling when he heard Sapnap chuckle first.

“I’m just rusty at survival!”

“But a creeper, Sapnap! You’re playing a big tournament and you’re dying to creeper explosions!”

“George, be nice,” Dream reprimanded lightly, not looking up from where Naomi had been perched next to him for a very generous amount of time, petting her little head as she purred.

“I am nice! It’s not my fault Sapnap decided to play ‘Minecraft but I die to the easiest mob in the game before i even get diamonds’,” George pulled Sapnap’s chair back further, tilting him backwards and making him squeal in shock and lean forward to level himself, the sudden noise of a dropping chair scaring Naomi back into the hallway with her brother and pseudo-sister.

“Watch it! You’re scaring my daughter!” Sapnap yelled, shoving George away, pushing him into the arm of the couch and almost making him lose his balance.

“She loves me, it’s fine,” George defended, steadying himself and resting against the arm of the couch willingly.

“Do that again and we’ll be playing ‘Minecraft but I kill George in real life’, you freak,” Sapnap teased, and they all laughed as Sapnap turned back to his screen and respawned, running towards his death point to grab all his stuff. There was a moment of brief silence, barely even ten seconds, before someone spoke again– this time being Dream.

“Wait,” He said, resting his hand on George’s arm where he stood next to him. He looked up at George, who looked down at him, and right as Sapnap collected his dropped items and ran away he looked over as well. A smug smile crossed Dream’s features, his eyes trailing from George to Sapnap, his hand sliding from George’s arm to rest softly on his back. “Oh… I have an idea.”

“An idea?” Sapnap asked, glancing between Dream and his screen as he moved into a cave to explore it.

“Yeah. You’re trying to practice, George is annoying you because he’s bored, I have a solution that will benefit all of us,” Dream explained, earning puzzled looks from both other men. His hand slid the rest of the way around George’s waist, gently tugging him to the side, making him lose footing at first before he helped steady him to stand between Dream’s own knees.

“What are you doing–“ George muttered, a slight flush on his cheeks like he always had when Dream’s fingers grazed his body so gently, but he was cut off when Dream pulled him down to rest on his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist. Sapnap scoffed at the display, looking back to the game and assuming that was the end of things. George couldn’t help the nervous giggles he let out, always giddy when Dream held him in his arms that way, and he squirmed where Dream had sat him until he found a comfortable enough position. “Dream– what is this, what…”

“You wanted entertainment, so we’re gonna play a game while Sapnap plays his. We’re gonna do our own ‘Minecraft, but’, so Sap is gonna play and every time he takes damage I’m gonna tickle you.”

“What?!” Sapnap exclaimed, whipping his chair back around to face the couch.

“WHAT?!” George yelled at the same time, much louder and definitely more appalled at the idea, immediately fighting against Dream’s hold and attempting to escape.

“It’s the perfect– stop moving–“ Dream reprimanded, squeezing George tighter and making him squeak and giggle, nerves setting in already. He pushed at Dream’s arms, but Dream simply responded by wrapping his arms around George’s arms and squeezing just as tightly, laughing happily as George broke into nervous giggles and curled his legs up when he couldn’t escape the hold.

“Dreheam!”

“It’s the perfect way to have you both get what you want. But, Sapnap, you actually have to try, you’re the one who wanted to practice,” Dream reasoned, and Sapnap put his hands up in surrender. “Disconnect your headphones so we can hear any damage you take.”

“Sure! That is totally fair!” Sapnap agreed, doing exactly that, and then getting back into the game, continuing his quest for diamonds as the other two argued in the background.

“No?! It’s not! Lehet goho!” George protested, pushing against Dream’s hold as much as he could, but Dream decided to shift his position further, throwing him back onto the couch and quickly jumping to kneel above his legs. “N– AH! Noho!” George kicked out behind Dream, propping himself up on his elbows, trying to give himself some sense of control over the situation. He stared up at Dream pleadingly, silently begging him to forget the idea, but Dream simply winked at him and plopped down to sit comfortably on top of his thighs. George let out a long whine, dropping into his back and hiding his face in his hands, earning a laugh from Dream.

“Okay. Game starts now. Good luck to you both,” Dream said with a single exaggerated clap, mimicking a movie slate that is used at the beginning of filming, making George scoff and roll his eyes as he watched Sapnap’s screen anyway.

“This is so stupi–“

“Oh, shit!” Sapnap exclaimed as he saw lava flowing towards him from a hole he’d dug in front of him, and the tell tale singing sound of him catching on fire filled the room as he filled the space and ran backward. Dream wasted no time, and he grabbed George’s hips and dug his thumbs into the spot above his hip bones, until Sapnap grabbed the water bucket out of his inventory and extinguished his character’s flames.

“NAHAHA!” George squealed through his laughter, smacking Dream’s hands away and being left with leftover tingles that made his hips flinch and jump even after Dream pulled away. “Sahapnahahap!”

“Sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize!” Sapnap apologized, and George let out a groan that trailed off into another pathetic whine.

This was going to be a long afternoon for him.

Luckily, the rest of Sapnap’s cave journey went pretty smoothly, with only a few close calls that had George screaming at him to “run, idiot, what the hell are you doing, RUN! It’s gonna get you!” until he reached safety, and only one shot from a skeleton that earned George a hefty raspberry to the side that left him tingling. But, when Sapnap reached the surface to the sight of a blue sky and mob-free path, George let out a sigh of relief.

Well, until Sapnap ended up carelessly jumping off the top of a tree less than a minute later. Dream decided that was the perfect time to shove his fingers under George’s arms.

“AH– nohoho! Dreheheam!” George whined as he clamped his arms down, the sensation over as quickly as it started and allowing him to air out his grievances with Sapnap. He slid his fingers under George’s t-shirt gently, curling his hands around his sides and resting his thumbs in the center of George’s tummy, softly trailing over the skin there in a soothing motion. “Behe more carefuhuhul, freheak!”

“I forgot what we were doing, I’m sorry!”

“You’re an ihidiot!”

“He’s trying his best, Georgie, leave him be,” Dream defended, but all three of them knew he was only doing it to rile George up more. And, if the way he groaned and rolled his eyes wasn’t enough proof that it was working, he didn’t know what would be.

“Yeah, plus you’re distracting me with your little giggles over there!” Sapnap teased, running along the edge of the beach to look for the desert temple he had spotted from the treetops. George felt his face grow warmer, no doubt more pink than the lights Sapnap kept on for his streams, and he ran a hand through his hair before crossing his arms over his chest angrily.

“Maybehe if you dihidn’t suck so muhuch!” George threw the words angrily, pushing at the man on top of him and squirming underneath the still fingers on his tummy. Sapnap stopped and whipped his head back to look at him, jaw dropped at his audacity, before shaking his head and turning back to the computer.

“That’s it, I’m drowning,” Sapnap threatened, jumping into the water and letting his character sink under the surface. He let go of the mouse and keyboard, sitting back against his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

“WHAT?!” George yelled, eyes wide, propping himself up on one elbow and leaning over to see Sapnap’s screen more clearly. To his horror, he had heard right, and he watched pixelated fish cross the monitor as the tiny bubbles on the bottom of the screen slowly popped one by one. “NO! Sapnap, STOP! Get– gehet out!” He yelled, gasping when Dream’s fingers tightened around his waist as a warning, his heart going a mile a minute in his chest. “WH– that’s– DREAM! Tell him he can’t do that!”

“I’m not sure what you mean, drowning is something that totally happens by accident all the time in Minecraft, you should know this,” Dream played up his confusion, sliding his palms up and down George’s side and smiling when he felt his skin jump and tense under his touch.

“NO! You– h-he’s doing it on purpose, and you– yohou said he couldn’t do thahahat!” George complained, his arm shaking as it held him up, the constant moving of Dream’s hands sliding over his skin making him jumpy and weak. He glanced at the screen, seeing the bubbles get closer and closer to the end.

“I don’t remember saying anything like that,” Dream said with a smirk, his far hand stopping when it was cupped perfectly around George’s ribs, on the side that was already stretched from him leaning over, the other holding his hip to offer him some comfort. George whimpered, curling in on himself, breathing heavily as he watched the third to last bubble tick away… then the second to last… and then the final bubble…

“Uh oh,” Sapnap teased, turning the rest of the way towards the couch as the first damage sound played through his speakers, smiling as Dream’s fingers sprung to life, digging harshly into George’s ribs and tickling him mercilessly.

“NAHAHAHA!” George squeezed his eyes shut and broke into loud laughter, falling back onto the couch and immediately shooting his hands down to grab at Dream’s wrists. George knew he already didn’t stand a chance against Dream’s strength on a normal day, but he was already weak and nervous and trembling, and he knew it was no use to try and pry him off. He heard the other two coo at him, and he shook his head wildly at the sound, tears forming in his eyes as he kept them shut tightly. “SHUHUT UHUHUP!”

“We can��t! You’re just too cute!” Dream teased, earning a particularly wild flinch from George when the knuckle of his middle finger pressed too hard into the bottom of his ribcage. Naturally, he decided to dig in there next, and George let out a yelp not far off from accidentally stepping on a dog’s paw.

“AH! NOHO, STOP! AHAHA, STOHOHOP, PLEHEHEASE! I CAHAHA–“ His loud laughter was riddled with whimpers and whines, and his entire body squirmed and flinched with every new movement of Dream’s fingers– at that rate he was convinced Sapnap’s stupid character would never even drown!

But, to his luck, the tickling finally came to a stop only a few moments later, and he managed to squint his eyes open for just long enough to see the red hue over Sapnap’s screen again.

His body went completely limp against the couch, his chest heaving as he gulped down air he desperately needed, his hands still resting on top of Dream’s wrists as he rubbed the ghost tickles out kindly.

They gave him a moment to catch his breath, before Dream pulled his hands away and tugged George’s shirt back down, swiping the spot under his eyes gently with his thumbs and rubbing a hand through his hair to fix how messy it had gotten. George giggled at the actions, blinking his eyes open slowly and seeing the other two looming over him. He whined at the attention, throwing his arms over his face and turning towards the back of the couch. Dream and Sapnap chuckled at him, and Dream scooted off him, before shuffling himself to lay down next to George.

George whined again, hiding his face further the closer Dream got, and Dream just laughed and pulled him into a hug, his hand holding the back of George’s head and playing with his hair as he hid in his chest.

“Aww, Georgie,” He soothed. “It’s okay.”

“That was so dumb,” George complained, voice muffled.

“Very. But it was fun,” Sapnap added as he laid on the L-shaped part of the couch, his head perpendicular to Dream’s as he wormed his arm between the two of them to hold George’s hand, squeezing it gently.

“Whatever,” George grumbled, but he squeezed back anyway.

“Hey,” Sapnap began, turning his head and waiting for George to look up at him as well. “Just be happy I didn’t go into the Nether.” George’s eyes widened, his jaw slack, lost for words.

“That’s true,” Dream agreed, leaning down to whisper in George’s ear. “I would’ve gone for your thighs if he had.”

George couldn’t help the whine he let out, burying his face into Dream’s neck and curling in on himself. The other two laughed at him again, and he could only whimper again, clinging onto Dream like a koala and forcing the ‘what if’ thoughts out of his head as he tried to relax into their cuddles.

After all, Sapnap still had another three days before the tournament to fit in more practice sessions.

#i like how this came out i think :D #lee!george #ler!sapnap #ler!dream #lee!georgesummer #cals writing

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sunnyie-eve · 1 year ago

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2 | Proud of You

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.6k

| MASTERLIST |

"Sam! Sam! Sam!" Penelope rushes down her stairs since he was over at her house getting a snack in the kitchen at the moment.

"What?" He freaks out as she rushes in.

"So I've been keeping a secret from you and Colby but I can now tell you because I made it through the prosses and shit. Look!" She shows him her phone which was on an Instagram modeling account.

"Glad to announce our beautiful newest model to the family, Penelope Lane Hill." Sam reads the caption then looks at her, "Wait? What?" He makes her laugh.

"Yeah, umm last few months when I've said I was too busy. This lady reached out to me so I took her offer. Actually modeling kind of helps me with how I see myself." She lets him know.

"I can't believe this... Congratulations, Pen!" He hugs her then looks back at her phone, "That's a really good pic of you. You surprisingly pull off blue lipstick." He hands her phone back. "Also today is a filming day." He lets her know.

"And I still have to go?" She pouts.

"Yep." He takes her hand dragging her out of her house to the car.

When they get to the house Colby was outside waiting for them with his arms crossed, "You're late."

"How can we be late if there was no set time? Also, I have some news to share." She hands him her phone and her looks over it before looking at her.

"No fucking why! My bestie is a model now! Look at you!" He squeezes her picking her up a bit. "I'm so proud of you!" He lets go of her.

"Thank you. I told Sam it helps me a bit feel better." She smiles.

"Are there any others we can see?" He asks as they go inside.

"Yeah, I'll post them to my Instagram later."

"Ok, are you gonna hang alone or watch us?" He asks her. "We're doing dares people sent us on Twitter."

"Maybe both. Depends." She laughs taking a seat.

"Okay." They leave her alone just to see one dare say to have her take part in one video. "PENNY!" They yell for her so she comes in huffing what.

"Our first date is to have you be in one full video." Sam shows her the tweet.

"It's dares for Sam and Colby. Not Sam and Colby and Penelope."

"Come on." Colby pulls her into the frame.

"Fine. I'll do it." She makes them cheer and the first dare was to put ice in their front pants pockets.

"We're just gonna keep it here the whole entire video. Oh! It's already cold!" Colby complains.

"This is easy for me." Penelope laughs at them.

"Of course it is." Colby playfully glares at her.

The next dare was a one-handed handstand and the guys couldn't do it but Penelope did it for a few seconds. "How?" Sam asks surprised.

"She was in gymnastics from four to seventeen." Colby answers for her.

"Yeah, I hated it but my mom wanted me to be like Harper." Penelope tells the camera. "Luckily, she stopped taking me one day." She winks.

"I dare you guys to eat a tablespoon of mustard with ketchup." Sam reads the next one making Penelope make a face shaking her head no.

"Penelope will not do this one. Even if it was for all the money in the world. She hates mustard with a passion." Colby says leaving to go get the things while she stays with Sam.

"Why do you hate it so much?"

"Because it's terrible. I'd rather kiss a snake than eat mustard." She says making him crack up.

"You're terrified of snakes though."

"Exactly!" She laughs with him as Colby comes back.

She watches the two and wants to puke just imagining it as they do it. They both make noises at how disgusting it was.

"Want a kiss? I think I got some on my lips." Colby jokes with Penelope and it wasn't odd for them to joke like that.

"Eww and EWW!" She moves Sam closer to him.

"I dare y'all to switch shirts in under 20 seconds." Sam reads the next one.

Penelope didn't care since she was in a sports bra so she took Colby's shirt, Sam took her shirt, and Colby took Sam's shirt.

"That was easy and this shirt is so soft on the inside." Sam says touching her shirt.

"I know, right. I love that shirt. You're mom actually bought it for me." She tells him.

"Really?" He says surprised.

"Yeah, birthday gift." She laughs.

While the guys wall twerk for a minute, Penelope keeps track of the time for them. "Colby, I love that you peed yourself." Penelope laughs at him and he sees how the ice melted.

"Is y'all's not cold yet?" Colby asks them and they say it's cold for them.

For the next dare, Penelope gets her lipstick out of her bag for the dare, "I'm gonna need to get a new one now." She watches Sam ruin it a bit.

"It's fine. Here put it on me." Sam hands it to her so she does it to him almost perfectly till Colby nudges her arm on purpose.

"You ass." She glares at him.

"Okay, now let me put it on you." He turns her to face him.

"I'm gonna look like a clown." She tilts her head up a tad.

"Pucker your lips so I can do this."

"You don't pucker your lips to put on lipstick." They both bicker so she stops for him to just do it and she ends up having a long line on her bottom lip. "I can't." She wipes it off so she doesn't look stupid.

Colby and Sam look at each other as if they could communicate with their minds so they grab her both kissing her cheeks so their lipstick was on her face.

She just stands there shaking her head annoyed with them, "I quit." She laughs leaving the room.

"Keep that on till we're done!" They shout at her.

"Whatever!" She shouts back.

Sitting around on her phone messages a friend of hers the boys tell her there's a dare to slap Colby in the face with hot sauce. "I'm not excited for this." Colby groans heading outside and Penelope follows wanting to watch.

"Just be careful with it going in his ear." She tells Sam as he sets the camera up.

"I can't help where it goes."

"You sorta can since you're slapping him." She laughs.

"Why can't we see your ice cubes melting? Did you take them out?" Colby touches where her pockets are and can feel the cold melted water. "How is that not bugging you?"

"Sometimes I take super cold baths when I don't take super hot ones." She explains to him.

"Alright, guys. What's up? We're out here. You got about to be slapped with some hot sauce." Sam claps his hands.

"I'm not excited for this." Colby says again, "I'm gonna take off my beanie. Here, hold this for me." He puts it on Penelope's head.

"What am I a coat rack?" She giggles.

"A beautiful coat rack." He pats the top of her head.

"It's in my ear! She even said to be careful." Colby complains.

"Sam, you barely even slapped him in the face. That was all ear." Penelope pulls Colby's head towards her to see how bad it was.

"Why is it burning?!" He walks away.

"Come on. I'll help you clean it." Penelope helps him take off Sam's long sleeves and holds it by his ear so it doesn't get on the carpet as they walk to the sink. "This is gonna be difficult not to wash it down in there more." She huffs.

"You always clean us up after stupid shit so you got this. You're the mom of the group." Colby laughs as she carefully cleans his ear up.

"I'm the mom yet you two ignore me?" She tugs on his hair.

"Exactly. Plus you're still younger than us."

"You're two months older than me so shut up." She finishes up.

"What would I do without you?" He stands up smiling at her.

"Clean the hot sauce out of your own ear for starters." She smiles back, "I texted Harper to come pick me up so she should be here soon. I have to meet with some people tomorrow so." She lets him know.

"I still can't believe you're a model now. I'm happy that it helps you. You needed this because me telling you isn't enough apparently."

"It's just nice hearing from people who don't know me personally saying it. Trust me, it means a lot coming from you. It shows you care about me but still." She explains to him as her sister honks for her. "I would give you your shirt back but Sam is still wearing mine." She looks down at herself.

"It's fine. It's not the first one you've taken and never gave back. But this I want still." He takes his beanie back.

"I didn't want it in the first place." She shoves him as she leaves the room, "Bye Sam!"

Jumping in her sister's car, Harper has Taylor Swift blaring making Penelope laugh. "Sing it with me, baby sis!" Harper starts to drive.

This was the very first page Not where the story line ends My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon I was enchanted to meet you Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew This night is flawless, don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you Please don't be in love with someone else Please don't have somebody waiting on you

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #katrina stuart #jake webber #corey scherer #elton castee #tara yummy #colby brock imagine #colby brock ff #colby brock fanfic #best friend #friends to lovers #tfil

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matthewkniesys · 2 years ago

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best - mat barzal

summary: you treated him like shit but he still stuck around. you fucked it up and mat deserves so much better than you. you never were the best to him.

a/n: so this is set during mat's second year in the nhl. it's a fic based on the song best by gracie abrams and it's the first fic for my good riddance fic series. i strongly recommend listening to the song before or during reading but you don't have to. i'm very happy with how this turned out and i hope yall like it 🫶

pairing: mat barzal x gn!reader

warnings: swearing and very angsty

good riddance fic series

It was exactly like you to go and fuck it all up. To get bored and not want to try anymore. To just stop putting in the effort. You stopped caring enough to put any work into your relationship with Mat Barzal and because of that you lost the best person in my life.

You and Mat started dating in your senior year of highschool and it was fun. But that’s all it was to you. You never wanted more. You couldn’t see your relationship going past highschool, but Mat did.

You both graduated and he was moving away from Seattle, where he had been playing for the Thunderbirds, to New York. He made the big leagues and you were really proud of him. But then he asked you to come with him. You didn’t want to break his heart right before all his dreams were coming true and you just didn’t know how to tell someone who was fucking asking you to move into a whole other city with them no. So you said yes.

You and Mat made it 2 years in New York before everything imploded.

And that’s not to say that during those 2 years you both were always happy. Actually it was kinda far from it. You were constantly grating on each other's nerves and you began to resent him. Afterall he was the only reason you were in this dumb city you didn’t want to be in anyways. But Mat, the amazing person he is, was always trying to fix everything. To make sure you were happy. That’s all he ever wanted for you.

You stayed because it was comfortable and that’s probably why Mat stayed too.You didn’t have to try. Mat loved you so much that he ignored the fact you were hurting him so much. And by the end you knew you were hurting him too. You just didn’t know what to do about it.

The night that everything went up in flames had been in the making for awhile. For the past 2 weeks before that you and Mat had constantly been at each other's throats. Making passive aggressive remarks, not speaking much but still just trying not to push it too far that it teeters over the edge.

That night Mat walks into the house from a late game. He’s already agitated because the game went horribly. Well at least according to twitter. You didn’t actually watch the game cause you couldn’t care less.

“Hey y/n. Did you watch the game?”

You look up and, “Nope, I don’t really care,” Is all you respond with, going back to reading the book on your lap. After a few seconds you realize Mat is still standing in the same spot just looking at you. He looks…incredulos.

“Are you kidding? You don’t care? I care and that should be enough to make you care. I’m your fucking boyfriend, y/n. All I ever try and do is make you happy but you never fucking try at all. I’m constantly there for you. I’m the best to you. You treat me like shit but the second you need me I'm there. You shut yourself off from people and the world and I still try to stay. I want to be a part of your life so bad. I want to be more to you than just some guy to you, because to me you are everything. Or you were. I don’t know anymore. ”

You sit there baffled, not knowing what to say. You sit in silence cause you aren’t ready to admit that you know he’s right. You’ve never treated Mat the way he deserves. He’s always loved you in this all consuming way and it was never more than a strong liking for you. You’ve grown to resent him for something that isn’t his fault, it’s yours. It’s not right to keep fucking with him, to keep playing with his feelings. You need to be a grown adult and leave something that isn’t right. If you stay you’ll keep hurting him, and in turn hurting yourself.

Taking a deep breath, you draw your gaze Mat. The amazing person who has never done anything but give you unconditional love, while you hurt him over and over again.

“Mat, we both know what needs to happen now.”

That night no other words were exchanged between you two. You started packing up and Mat went to stay at a teammates house. It was always gonna end like this. You knew it but still stuck around. You knew you would never say yes and marry him but you never left. You let him hope and you fucked with his feelings. Even you can’t make sense of why you did that.

You fell into a deep sleep that night. Your body was worn through and even though there were a hundred different thoughts spinning in your head you still couldn’t stop the exhaustion from seeping in.

You woke up the next morning disoriented. Last night your whole world had shifted on its axis. You’re sad that what was between you and Mat was over but you had never truly loved him so it didn’t hurt nearly as much as you know it hurt Mat. Whoever Mat chooses in the end is going to be really lucky. It just won’t be you. It wasn’t right.

You grab your phone from your night stand and check your notifications. One makes you pause. Mat unfollowed you on instagram last night. You’re in shock for a minute. It hurt. It made everything feel final and you guessed it was. Mat was ready to be rid of you and that was fair. He needed to move on in his life. Find his forever people, but it didn’t mean him unfollowing you hurt any less.

Everything came crashing down after that. It really hit you. Mat wasn’t gonna be a part of your life anymore. For the last 2 years you had been so caught up in your resentment towards Mat, you had never once thought about his. At some point he had probably started to hate you for how you treated him and that was completely valid. He was the worst of your crimes. You had never treated anyone the way you’ve treated him the last couple of years.

You open your messages glad to see that Mat hasn’t yet blocked your number. You text him a simple I’m sorry. You aren’t trying to get back with him. You don’t love him and that’s just a fact that will never change. You just want him to know that you genuinely feel terrible about what you did. You would tell him in person but you don’t think he wants to see you. You respect that. If he had just spent 2 years leading you on, you never would want to see him again.

You shower and get ready for the day, feeling numb. It’s funny, cause even though you didn’t love him you’re hurting. You feel guilty and you just lost someone who regardless of how you feel about, you cared for. That much was true. You did care for Mat. Maybe more than he would ever know.

It’s been 20 minutes and when you check back on your phone, you see that Mat’s read your text. He didn’t respond but you never thought he would. You send him another text saying you’ll be moved out in a day. He just replies okay.

You feel a little lonely without Mat around the next few days. You move out of his apartment without seeing him and you’re temporarily crashing at a friends. There’s a little hole in your chest that used to be filled up by Mat. You might not have loved him but his companionship was nice.

You haven’t thought about much the last few days, other than how you treated your ex-boyfriend the last few years.You mostly just feel a lot of regret. He was so good to you and you just weren’t. You hurt him beyond measure and you’ll never forgive yourself for that. It was never your intention. You’ll be okay but it might take awhile. You aren’t struggling to get over Mat. You’re struggling to get over what you did to him. You never were the best to him and that is what hurts you the most.

thanks for reading 🫶

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues

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weaponizedhorse · 2 years ago

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Very curious to see that write-up, having only seen illuminautii's own video on the matter from her perspective

Dude I completely forgot to reply to Nunya about this also so thank you so so much for sending this ask!

@beardedmrbean

And oh shit if all you saw was iiluminaughtiis video I am here to inform you that basically everything she said was a lie. Strap in it's gonna get CRAZY

basically iilluminaughtii brought this entire situation on herself by trying to "call out" legal eagles editors on Twitter for "stealing/ copying" her style? And the style was a highlight effect? And a ripped paper effect? Which legal eagle has been using for like literal years. Like this is literally the examples she gave on Twitter

And Illuminaughtii legit just flew too close to the sun cause a TON of crazy shit has come out about her since she made that tweet

But it turns out Illuminati used to be in a group channel called sad milk with a bunch of other YouTubers One of them was the click and one of them was wonderstruck TV and after all this shit went down with the group channel she paid people to dig through The Clicks old videos from 10 to 14 years ago where he was saying no no words because he was 17 and learning English (he's swedish) she posted in this discord about the click saying retarded 10 years ago and when someone said "it was 10 years ago irrelevant" she went on to say how "disgusted" she was with this person for "excusing" 10 fucking year old videos?? Blair said "that word was never okay to use and was never in my vocabulary" good for you?? And apparently Blair says retard/ed in private anyway

Then she made an alt Twitter and alt Reddit account and on the Reddit account she made up conspiracy theories about why sad milk broke up then replied with her iiluminaughtii reddit account debunking her own post?? and then on Twitter she tweeted to the click, to anybody he's coworkers, with like that he shares a podcast with anyone, who is even been on the podcast anyone who has any sort of affiliation with Click saying "oh do you know your friend said the n word Did you know your friend sent the f slur etc" And I mean it was non-stop the click said in his video that he remembers this account and thought it was some random troll but it was Blair the whole time.

Illuminati deleted the doobie Smurfs Reddit account after this was found out but the Twitter is still up so you can actually go through the doobie shmirtz Twitter and see all the unhinged fucking shit she did.

In her video about Click she said that he basically allowed a pedo to stay in his discord for months knowingly. And it turns out as soon as this guy said he was a pedo the mods kick him out while Click was asleep cause time zones. Illuminaughtii in discord messages said she was proud of Click for how he handled the situation

That's not even counting what she did to wonderstruck TV The worst of which is in her quote unquote response video about everything that happened on Twitter she put out his would-be suicide note. For what fucking reason I have no idea and then she revealed that she called the cops on him even though he said he had already calmed down and talked to his therapist? It's it's fucking insane

I very much encourage watching clicks video

#i am v sorry this took me so long to write up my health has not been good lately #iiluminaughtii

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alittledizzy · 1 year ago

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My post video ramble - not an analysis so much as just an emotional reaction/my feelings.

I'm really proud of Dream's video and what all he put into it. I think this was something he needed to do on multiple levels, many just for his own personal peace of mind, but being honest about things he never should have been forced to lie about in the first place (the doxxing details, his previous weight, information about his childhood, etc) took a lot of guts. He's never lacked that so I'm not surprised but I'm also sure he knows he probably could have continued on having a career by staying silent and saying nothing on those topics, and he chose not to. (And as one post I saw said, voluntarily handing over multiple new pictures of himself when he was fat was a cunt move that I love him forever for.)

In terms of the allegations, I think most people who followed the situation (more closely than just looking at twitter trending topics or people that blatantly hated him and wanted to drive him to suicide) already knew that the accusations were a mix of blatant and malicious lies, misinformation, and a dash of interpersonal drama from people Dream knew four years ago. I think he laid the evidence out neatly and as clearly as possible considering these are some complex topics and trying to prove a negative always puts you at a disadvantage.

For anyone reading this post from other fandoms that aren't aware, immediately after the video the person that provided the burner account with information came forward saying she was lying to the burner account and Dream did nothing wrong. This is the situation where there was no victim to begin with, because the woman involved (16/17 at the time, 21 now) has said she was never a victim and was not groomed. So the video also served the purpose of the people making those false allegations being forced to come forward about them being fake/wrong. Which is unsurprising since the people involved were basically dredging up the equivilent of high school drama where they were trying to get with the most popular kid at school (Munchy, mcyt in general, friends with popular streamers before he was even posting on youtube) and mad when they can't bag him. So it's unsurprising that people who tried to get something going with him and it didn't work felt scorned and then shit talked him, and fair enough, that's what humans do. But that years later it has turned into grooming allegations and pedophilia is just fucking inhumane and would never have happened if this had been anyone but Dream. Sites like KiwiFarms decided years ago, before any of this, that Dream was someone they wanted to take down and they spent years slowly poisoning public opinion and people's eagerness to believe anything bad about him is just an end result of this.

In terms of the rest of the video: I think the Quackity part wasn't necessary to the video but I do think that was just a part of what Dream felt like he needed to say. Same with the bit about shipping and nsfw fanworks/the fanart account, I think he wanted to cover all bases in terms of things people could possibly try and use to discredit him, and so those don't even feel like they were geared toward us at all. That was Dream talking to outside fandom people and trying to image rehab. I think fandom should continue on as before except with less people clamoring to show Dream every single thing they make in terms of shippiness.

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callunavulgari · 1 year ago

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Year in Fic | 2023

How many fics did you write this year? What was your total wordcount?

This was a very, very depressing year for me fic-wise. I didn't think it was possible, but not only did I write less that I did last year, but I wrote SIGNIFICANTLY less than I did in 2022.

In 2023 I wrote 11 fics, for a total of 39,450 words. Which is uh, almost half what I did in 2022. And 2022 was a slow year for me. But! I will give myself a bit of grace considering I spent most of the year being neurotic about wedding planning.

Fic Roundup!

so damn sloppy | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 4,557 words | Steve smiles, leaning forward just a little bit, and is rewarded by the sight of Eddie swaying towards him as if hypnotized. “We gonna stop pretending that I’m here just for a movie?”

into the unknown | LoZ | Zelda/Ganondorf/Link | 8,017 words | “What do you think, princess?” Ganondorf asks, cocking his head. “Would having your young knight here with us make the marriage bed more palatable?”

just a little bit closer, baby | Stranger Things | Chrissy/Eddie/Steve | 2,734 words | “He’s sure, Chrissy,” Steve says, voice warm.

Ghost Story | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 2,559 words | Eddie wakes to darkness.

mommy don’t know daddy’s getting hot | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 1,611 words | “Just— Christ, Steve. Fuck me, already. Fill me up, put a baby in me or whatever weird hetero bullshit your brain has a boner for, just do it.”

the icarus to your certainty | Marvel | Loki/Thor | 1,687 words | “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” Loki asks softly, his mouth twisted into a strange, sad little smile.

build your altar here | Star Wars | Reylo | 5,486 words | When Leia had first offered up Ben’s condo as a place for Rey to stay while she got back on her feet, she’d foolishly assumed that it was some kind of subletting situation.

for years or for hours | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,677 words | “What the shit are you doing?” Mobius hisses, and Loki— Loki is tired.

touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 2220 words | “God,” Steve murmurs into Eddie’s mouth. “You look— I cannot deal with how you look right now.”

these, our bodies, possessed by light | Shades of Magic | Holland/Kell/Lila, Athos/Holland | 2,134 words | Holland tells her simply. “I want to go home.”

this house says your name like an elegy | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 6768 words | “Good night, ghost,” he says. “We can play tomorrow.”

Best story I wrote this year:

In my opinion? into the unknown was the only fic that I was TRULY proud of this year. Which isn't to say that the others were awful, but into the unknown was my passion project of the year. I saw a thing on twitter that made my brain go ping, and I sat down and said, yknow what, I'm going to write political marriage Ganondorf/Zelda. And then, I went, yknow what would be great? If we added Link, poly, and a great heaping pile of yearning. And it was! Great that is! It was fun to write and I'm really glad that I put it out there.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Honestly, into the unknown IS probably my favorite - BUT! A very close second is for years or for hours, which I wrote after watching the Loki finale a totally chill amount of times. I couldn't get over the idea of Loki and those timeloops, how lonely it must have been. How he could technically have everything that he wanted and then wipe the slate clean again hours later. I was also planning on writing another Loki fic, one where Sylvie and Mobius end up hooking up and living? traveling? together AFTER, but it just hasn't happened yet. Two people fucking because they're yearning for the same third is just catnip to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

This is actually interesting because my stats are pretty wildly different for kudos vs hits. Normally they're at least in the same ballpark. BUT! for years or for hours was definitely my top fic as far as kudos go by a pretty wide margin, coming in 742 kudos, 217 bookmarks, and 2,397 hits. so damn sloppy (a title that i hated IMMEDIATELY after posting) comes in second when it comes to kudos at 239.

But! If you measure by hits- build your altar here, otherwise known as the excessively smutty reylo fic that i wrote actually comes in first. Which is... weird? But hey, what do I know. Numbers are bonkers.

Story of mine most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

While I'm honestly always a little disappointed by the traffic my SXX Exchange and Yuletide fics get (I get it, they don't show up at the top of the page because they spend weeks unviewable before being revealed), I think my actual answer to this question is Ghost Story. It's one of the shorts that I did for my October challenge this year. 2.5k of Eddie waking up in the Upside Down undead, of him finding Steve's house and hesitating there on the threshold, of Vecna in his head, of him CHOOSING Kas as his own storyline, grasping at straws in the hopes that he'll be able to pull it off. I never go into something expecting kudos because that way lies madness, but I got... 11 kudos. No comments. And I don't know, that's always at least a little disappointing, but especially because I was proud of this one. I liked getting into Eddie's headspace in a horror setting. It was great! It was tragic! And I don't know, it just didn't get love. Such is life.

Most fun story to write:

Okay, so like. I wrote A LOT of smut this year. Almost every single fic that I wrote was either PWP, fix-it, or both. And almost every single one of them came easily (ha). The plot bunnies didn't fight me, they just happened. Which means that a lot of them were fun to write! The one where I got to work in Steve's breeding kink in the most hilarious way cracked me up. BUT! I got to write Steve/Chrissy/Eddie this year! I've been wanting to write it for ages and this year, for the first day of kinktober, I got to write Chrissy pegging Eddie while Steve fucks his face. That was just... an absolute dream.

Story that could have been better?

Maybe these, our bodies, possessed by light ? My Yuletide recipient's requests were of a crueltide variety. And I don't necessarily have an issue with writing that. I wrote it and I liked the end result, but where it comes down to it I'm still pretty uncomfortable writing non-con, even a character that is slowly healing from it. I do actually like how it ended. I think I conveyed what I wanted it to, the style was exactly what I was aiming for, I just haven't been able to shake the feeling that it could have been more. But if I'd made it happier or longer, I think I would have taken away from the point I was trying to make.

Story I wrote to fix things:

Definitely the icarus to your certainty. Some of the others are fix-its in the sense that certain characters are alive, others are fix-it fic not because they changed anything about the canon but because of the sense of catharsis. But the icarus to your certainty was a fic that I've been wanting to write for a while, one where Thor and Loki meet again. I've told this story a couple different ways since End Game, but this one feels more complete because I used TVA Loki. It wasn't just me talking out of my ass about suspected ways that Marvel could fix it, it was about the exisiting character meeting back up with a post-Love and Thunder Thor and going hey, I'm here, I'm not the same brother you watched die, but I'm still a Loki, I still miss you, I know what you lost. I did write it before watching the finale, so there's probably at least one more Thor and Loki reunion fic in me, but we'll see.

Longest completed fic this year:

into the unknown was my longest this year at just over 8k.

Fandom you enjoyed writing for most this year:

The fandom that I wrote the MOST of was Stranger Things, because Steddie is still dogging me even now, more than a year later. And it is certainly the fandom that I enjoyed reading the most, but I also really loved playing in the Tears of the Kingdom sandbox.

Favorite character you wrote this year:

I did like writing Ganondorf in into the unknown a lot, but this pleasure has to go to Eddie. He's just so fun.

Most memorable comment(s) this year:

I really loved all the comments that I got on for years and for hours! The comments from my recipients for the SXX exchange and Yuletide were amazing! I got a comment on the Silena and Clarisse fic that I wrote well over a decade ago! I got an adorable comment on the monsterfucking fishsex one earnestly telling me to keep doing what makes me passionate, even if it's... yknow, fishsex.

But honestly, this comment that I got on Rubatosis takes the cake. It just completely blows my mind that even know, almost a decade after I wrote the fic, I am STILL getting comments on it. And not just the comments that other older fic of mine get, but comments that are so heartwrenchingly genuine, thanking me, weeping and happy about it. I actually did a reread of it after I got this comment and while I can see all the places that could be improved on, I'm just still so floored, so PROUD, that it's something that came out of my brain.

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t:

I DO have an entire graveyard of fics in my googledocs that I've started and haven't finished but, in no particular order:

the steddie one where they hook up pre-series when steve is still king steve and eddie is dealing at one of his parties

the steddie hitchhiking one

the steddie coffee shop one that no one asked for

the gloryhole steddie fic from kinktober

ugh the akuroku farmer's market one about being punk and then getting older

the bodyswap geraskier one

the ust filled one-shot of Jericho and Sam Lloyd from the Diviners

the random plot bunny i got after reading hell bent where i wanted to write alex fucking darlington after the howling

the cnc sxx fic

the uh, vaguely necrophiliac sxx one because xue yang is a freak

the *cough* incest ship one where they find out they're related while fucking and neither stops (i may have entertained this as a han/luke/leia one-shot)

the alex/jonas oxenfree one that i wanted to write as a yuletide treat

the anastasia/dimitri one that i wanted to write as a yuletide treat

Oddest story:

god, probably the breeding kink one. mommy don't know daddy's getting hot. it's not even super intense! i just feel like eddie would be absolutely IMPOSSIBLE if he found out that steve had a breeding kink.

Hardest story to do:

I did fret about this house says your name like an elegy a little. I kept getting stuck describing the house and had to force myself past it.

Easiest story to write?

Again, most of the fics came pretty easily this year. build your altar here may have been the easiest? I'd just finished love theoretically by ali hazelwood and while i'd always known they were a reylo i didn't realize that i'd actually read some of their fic! anyway, read a couple reylo fics for nostalgia and then realized that i wanted to write a free use fic. All 5k of it came out in one sitting, it was nuts.

Most mining of your own history in one story:

I don't think any of them? I mean, maybe so damn sloppy if you count the fact that i've actually been in a family video before, but other than that? yeah, nothing.

Themes, or absence thereof:

A lot of smut, tbh.

Where did you publish/archive your stories?

Ao3, as per usual. I didn’t crosspost too much this year.

Story I haven’t yet written, but intend to:

i REALLY want to write the steddie ones that i didn't write this year, specifically the hitchiking and the pre-series one.

Sexiest moment (excerpt):

He fucks Eddie breathless. The corset isn’t helping, the pearls like a collar around his throat. He wants Steve’s hand in his hair, wants to be fucked until it hurts, but Steve is so gentle with him.

There are tears in Eddie’s eyes when he finally surrenders, gasps quietly into the dark and says, “Please, harder.”

Steve doesn’t get a hand into his hair, but he does splay his palm out over the curve of Eddie’s throat, just under the pearls. The hold isn’t a tight one, his fingers loose enough that Eddie could slide right out of the grip if he wanted, but Eddie sobs a little, bucking up, wanting wanting wanting—

Steve fucks him harder.

“Would you like to have him first, then?” Ganondorf asks her, a low whisper in her ear, and her legs clench tight around him, making them both groan as his cock jostles between them.

“Please,” she says, and he makes a sound like a laugh, and pulls back, away, moving them so that he’s propped up against her headboard and she’s reclined against his front, her back hot where their skin touches.

Ganondorf makes an amused sound when Link hesitates, and his hands take hold of her hips and — mortifyingly — spread her legs open.

“Do you need me to tell you where it goes?” Ganondorf asks, almost conversationally, and Link narrows his eyes.

It’s not— there was a moment, when she was younger, when she’d thought of this. Of what would happen if she could just take what she wanted. If she could have Link on his back in the hay of the palace stable or if he’d ever bear her down into the fragrant grass of Hyrule Field.

It was a silly dream. A girl’s dream. She’d never imagined this, her husband holding her open as Link pushes into her, but perhaps that was a good thing. She’d been an excitable girl.

He makes a noise when he first pushes into her that she’ll remember forever, even if they never get to do this again — a slight hitch in his breathing, like a hiccup, then a moan so soft it’s almost a whine. They are green, untested, so very new to this. She’s wanted this for so long and so hard that it doesn't even hurt. The rhythm is rocky and awkward when they start, but Ganondorf helps them find it quickly, his hands reaching out to steady Link's hips, coaxing him into a better pace.

It is perfect, even if it wasn’t what she’d dreamed. She gets to bury her face in his neck the way she’d wanted then, gets to hitch her legs up around his hips and clench him tighter, deeper, his fingers threaded with hers.

But it is over too fast, and her eyes are wet when he goes still inside of her. It’s too much. It’s not enough.

Ganondorf gives them a minute, lets her shake, lets Link breathe. She hadn’t expected patience from him, but then, there’s a great many things about this night that she hadn’t expected.

“Okay,” she tells him when Link is collapsed backwards beside them, watching with hazy eyes as Ganondorf turns her to face him. His cock is between them, hard against her belly, and it’s so big that for a moment, she wonders if she’s ready for it. She can feel Link’s spend licking the insides of her thighs and knows that Ganondorf can feel it too.

She looks at Ganondorf, chin held high, and says, “I’m ready.”

He is big.

His cock inside of her is such a tight fit that her breathing goes ragged as he’s fitting it into her. She’s sweating all over and it’s so much that she worries it will break her, that she’ll never be the same again. Link had felt good inside of her, a perfect fit, no pain, just frissons of pleasure up and down her spine as he moved inside of her, but this — this is nearly too much.

“It’s okay, princess,” Ganondorf tells her, petting her back once he’s completely inside. “You did good.”

Against all odds, the noise is what wakes her. She would have thought— well, she would have thought that she’d have woken to other things. The gentle rocking of the bed. The weight on her hips. Rey had assumed that if anything were to wake her, it would have been that first slow press inside her — her body yielding slowly to the blunt press of him between her legs.

However it happened, the noise is what wakes her. She surfaces slowly, first latching onto the sound of the rhythmic thumping of the headboard striking the wall over and over again before her brain wakes enough to take note of the rest of it.

She’s warm, that’s the second thing that she notices. Most of the time, Rey wakes with her fingers and toes freezing, and she’ll have to spend the first thirty minutes of her morning huddling for warmth beneath her blankets. This morning though, she’s overly warm, her blood already running hot, her chest and belly slick with sweat.

That’s when the rest of the details come to her. The heavy breathing above her. The warm sticky skin pressed to the bare stretch of her back. The creaking of the bed. Her own shallow breathing, little noises escaping her even as her brain comes fully back online. And of course, the feeling of a cock stretching her wide. She must have been wet, she thinks hazily, still halfway between waking and dreaming. Had she been dreaming? Or had he put his mouth on her before he’d bullied his way inside? They hadn’t really discussed the mechanics beforehand, only their wants and limitations. She’d wanted this, she remembered confessing. This specific thing, mentioned in the late hours of the night, her face flushed.

But he’d done it. She hadn’t thought that he would.

She’s still sluggish, but her body is already lighting up from the touch. Already awake and responsive, even as Rey starts to slowly stretch, her toes curling against the sheets as her palms scrabble for a grip to ground her. Ben rocks into her again, a particularly deep thrust, and a noise punches out of her, shocked and urgent.

She hears a chuckle from above her, and then his mouth is dropping to press against the sharp blade of her shoulder, lips dragging indulgently across her skin.

“Good morning,” he whispers, his own voice gritty with sleep. She whines under him, her fist finally getting a hold on the sheets, and he laughs at her openly, rewarding her with a particularly ruthless grind of his hips, pressing so deep that she rocks forward into the pillows.

He works a hand into her hair, and she’s— god, it’s so much so fast that she’s actually dizzy from it, so when he drags her up to her knees, she’s reeling, wobbly like a newborn animal. Her breath catches in her throat, her stomach tensing as he slides his palm down to cradle the shallow dip of her pelvis.

She doesn’t have to enjoy it, that wasn’t part of the bargain. The deal was anytime, anywhere— within reason, of course. She’d thrilled at the idea of it, imagining him bending her over the back of the couch, over the kitchen counter, imagined crawling into his lap during one of his shitty zoom calls and having him like that, where any one of his sleazy corporate overlords could hear her panting for him if he decided to unmute them.

She hadn’t thought that this would be his first move on the chessboard, that less than 24 hours after shaking on it she would wake to him inside of her, stretching her wide, the very first thing that she’d told him she wanted.

Anything, though. And just because she hadn’t imagined this happening the morning after they discussed it does not mean that she can’t enjoy it.

He fucks her hard and fast after that, as if her coming awake beneath him has made him desperate for it. Her scalp aches under his grip, but the pull is a good one. She’s wet and aching, his cock so good, pressing so deep— she’d forgotten what it was like, what he could be like.

She makes a noise, something quiet and pleased, and he must like it because he moans for her, his grip turning harsher, his thrusts more punishing. She wants to ask him for it, wants to tell him harder, but he hasn’t said that she can talk yet, so she bites her lip and holds on for dear life.

He comes inside her, letting out a long and guttural groan, his hips pressed flush against hers.

She’s trembling and she doesn’t want him to pull out yet, wants to come with him still inside her, but doesn’t—

“Touch yourself,” he tells her, his voice strained, cock still buried to the hilt inside her. She lets out a breathless little sob, already reaching, and it barely takes more than the press of her thumb to her clit before she’s coming, so hard that knees go out from under her. She bites down hard on her pillow to muffle the helpless little keen that makes its way out of her.

Crackiest moment (excerpt):

Eddie is giving him shit when it happens. It’s been a little over a half hour since Eddie turned to him, bored and pouty about it, and asked if Steve wanted to fuck him.

“Obviously,” Steve could pretend that he’d replied, because that was smooth and cool, and not the reality of the weird grunting noise that he’d made in response, as if his brain had briefly forgotten that it was human and not still ape.

Eddie had snorted, but forgiven him this, and Steve had gone to work dutifully, because the reality of getting to fuck Eddie was still new and visceral. But then here they are, well past foreplay, and Eddie is giving him shit, cracking jokes, and Steve is still somehow completely hard. Which is to say, Steve is buried all the way inside of Eddie, balls flush against his sweaty ass, and absolutely breathless with laughter, trying to muffle the sound of it into Eddie’s shoulder when Eddie throws his head back theatrically and moans, “Yes, daddy, yes. Harder, please. Yes, Steve, put a baby in me already.”

And it’s—

He’s joking. Neither of them ever get even close to brushing against their mutual daddy issues. It’s a joke, the same way that the theatrical porn star moans he’s been driving Steve crazy with for the last half hour have been a joke. The same way that his nicknames getting more and more absurd every month is a joke.

But Steve’s breath — it catches. He’d been halfway through another shaky thrust, tears still in his eyes, and then, at Eddie’s words, his movement stutters. He doesn’t quite gasp, but his exhale comes out shaky, a nervous huff of a noise.

Eddie goes still under him. He twists, peering around his own shoulder at Steve, his eyes wide and dark. He blinks and asks, “Really?”

“Fuck,” Eddie says again, voice thready. Steve tugs on his hair again, just enough to hear him hiss. “Just— Christ, Steve. Fuck me, already. Fill me up, put a baby in me or whatever weird hetero bullshit your brain has a boner for, just do it.”

Steve’s breath catches, his brain abruptly knocked offline. He doesn’t— later, he’ll try to wrap his brain around why this works for him. Try to figure out whether it’s the daddy issues, the unspoken desire for a kid, or just the idea of filling Eddie up with his come, but in this moment, the only thing that he can think of is those words in Eddie’s mouth, the reality of what he’s about to do.

Steve’s a good, smart boy. Smart about this, at least. He likes to have sex. He’s safe about having sex. Even with Nancy, he’d never—

He fucks Eddie until he’s wailing, working his way up from the slow grind. Short, slow strokes, hard and deep. Harder, a little faster. It’s so much harder to fuck Eddie right like this, but it’s so intimate, tucked so tightly together that he can’t make himself move.

“Please,” Eddie is saying, and Steve isn’t even sure if Eddie’s aware that he’s talking out loud. He’s got his head buried in his arms, his body rocking forward every time Steve fucks into him, and his voice is throaty, his body shaking with every thrust.

“Please Steve,” he gasps, breathless, sweaty. He lets out an uneven moan at Steve’s next thrust, hard and deep, just the way Eddie likes it. “Do it, just do it, pump me full of your come, do it, please.”

Favorite dialogue (excerpt):

“Good morning, Princess,” Ganondorf tells her, still smiling. “That isn’t your usual guard.”

“No,” she tells him, and leaves it at that.

He hums thoughtfully, his eyes going to the guard again, and for a moment, she thinks that he may press the matter, as if it’s any of his business where Link may be, but after another moment, he drops it, leaving it with a polite nod.

They watch the birds in silence for some time.

Ganondorf, as it turns out, has a bag of feed with him, which he offers her when the robins have finished what's on the ground and turn to eye them expectantly.

She dips her hand into the bag, delighting in the cool press of seeds against her knuckles, and comes out with a palmful, which she gently tosses to the grateful birds. As she watches, a few more descend.

“Do you come to this spot often?” Ganondorf asks as she brushes the lingering kernels from her hands.

She looks at him, wondering if she should say. If he does mean her harm, this place that she only comes to when she means to be alone would be a delightful place for any would-be kidnapper. But, on the other hand, if he is to be her husband, he will learn soon enough.

“Yes,” she tells him, reaching to brush her knuckles across the rose nearest her, the last few drops of morning dew clinging to the downy softness of its petals. “I love this place.”

“It is lovely,” he says. “Quiet, peaceful. I was happy to find a place to myself.”

She turns to look at him, curious despite herself. “Do you have a place like it? Back home?”

Ganondorf is still watching the birds, but as she speaks, he turns to her, his expression soft.

“I do,” he says, sounding pleased. “We have orange trees growing in what passes for our garden. They grow in a small alcove tucked away from prying eyes. There’s a fountain there. It’s peaceful.” He seems to hesitate, then adds, “They smell divine when they’re in bloom. Perhaps one day I can show you.”

“Perhaps,” she replies, for politeness sake. She is her father’s only heir. He would never let her venture out into the desert, not even if she had all the guards in Hyrule with her.

Perhaps, she thinks, when she is queen. If her husband has not attempted a coup by then.

They have drawn an entire flock by now, not only robins, but jays and turtle doves. They bicker amongst themselves for the seed, their chatter light and easy. She only wishes that her entire day could be this quiet.

“Are you looking forward to the feast tonight?” she asks, only half listening as she watches one of the larger jays wallop one of the doves with its wing.

“I never look forward to feasts,” Ganondorf tells her gravely, which surprises her enough that she lets out a sharp bark of laughter.

When she’s done laughing, she looks at him, tears in her eyes, and confesses, “Neither do I.”

“Looking for your knight, princess?” Ganondorf whispers out of the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t duck his head towards her, but there’s a barely noticeable tilt to his head that means he wants to, that he wants his lips pressed right up against her ear, where he can speak truly to only her. The whisper, she thinks, will have to suffice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she whispers back, her eyes finding Link’s even as the words leave her mouth. He is watching them, but there’s a faint crack in his mask, a flash of pain bare on his face for all of Hyrule to see before he catches her looking and schools it into careful blankness once more.

Ganondorf chuckles, a warm rumble that she can feel through her entire body, from head to toes.

“Of course, you don’t,” he tells her, something faintly mocking in his voice. It makes her hackles go up, spine straightening as she lifts her head to look at him.

He is looking down at her now, and on his lips is a smile that she hasn’t seen from him yet. It isn’t the soft private smile from this morning, nor is it the polite smile that he gives her father and the rest of court. This is a strange smile, just for her, and it appears entirely genuine.

“Are you mocking me, sir?” she asks him.

“Perhaps,” he tells her, unexpectedly lifting her into a spin. She reels, a bit dizzy when he sets her back onto her feet. He smiles again, as if he’s laughing at her, and ducks his head to whisper in her ear, “Is it working?”

She blinks hard, finding Link over his shoulder again.

“Is what working?” she asks breathlessly.

She can feel his smile against her ear, the feel of it curving upwards. She shivers.

His lips move against her ear, his breath warm against her throat. “Am I making him jealous?”

She flinches. Not hard, but just enough to make her misstep. She corrects herself, but people have already seen.

There will be whispers. Rumors.

She huffs, and looks away from him, careful to keep her gaze away from Link.

“I told you,” she says coolly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He laughs again, but obligingly straightens, taking his mouth far out of her reach.

They dance in silence until the music stops.

Favorite lines (excerpt):

“You can, you know,” Mobius tells him, and Loki wants to ask what, wants to ask if that’s freestanding permission— to take anything he wants, anything he needs.

“Can I?” Loki asks, his voice a rasp in the dark.

Mobius nods, his nose sliding against Loki’s. He’s holding his breath, Loki thinks, and that won’t do. Loki needs him to breathe.

He kisses him.

Mobius makes a thin noise, like he hadn’t really expected Loki to do it, then something heavier as his mouth slides open under Loki’s.

Loki reaches, curling his fingers against Mobius’s cheek, pulling him closer, until they’re almost on top of one another. Loki wants— he wants a great many things. He wants to kiss Mobius until his breathing goes erratic. Wants to crawl backwards onto the desk and let Mobius have him there, just like this. Wants to touch him all over, map out every square inch of his body until Loki knows every whorl of hair, every wayward freckle.

“Mm,” Mobius hums as Loki breaks the kiss. Their lips make a wet sound as they separate. The sound of it is thrilling. It makes him want more. Mobius clearly is on the same page, his eyes flickering open slowly, watching Loki through slitted eyes. As Loki watches, he smiles and asks, “Feel better?”

He does, actually.

The panic is ebbing, his heart regaining its normal rhythm, his vision no longer tunneling. He doesn’t feel as out of control now, like time itself is slipping away from him.

Loki licks his lips, ignoring the way that Mobius’ eyes linger on his mouth, and nods. He leans in for another kiss, this one shorter. He is very aware of the light of the loom, going ever brighter outside the window. Not long now.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mobius tells him, leaning smugly back against the computers when Loki has finished with him. He looks rumpled. His hair askew, his lips bruised. Loki wants to wreck him.

“Don’t worry about what?” Loki asks, distracted.

Mobius jerks his head towards the loom, the timelines, the constant writhe of them against the blackness of the void. “That. Don't worry. You’ll get it right next time.”

Loki hisses, his head jerking up. He meets Mobius’ laughing eyes. Says, “When did you figure it out?”

Mobius shrugs, flashing Loki a look. “You didn’t get that good at physics overnight, Loki. Come on. How long have you been at this?”

Loki doesn’t know. Not really. He’s lost count. Lost count quickly even. “Too long.”

Mobius eyes him. He’s still reclined back against the computers, his elbows planted firmly under him, legs slightly splayed. Loki can see the length of him, hard in his slacks. It’s tempting. He is tempting. If they had more time, then maybe—

Mobius is still watching him, like he can see Loki's every thought printed out and set before him in real time. Who knows, maybe he can.

“Next time,” Mobius tells him, like a promise.

The light outside the window is growing brighter, the rattling of the entire structure around them getting louder.

Loki breathes.

“You won’t remember,” Loki says, feeling a tug of… something at that. Hurt, maybe. Grief, perhaps— for this version of Mobius that his hands have touched, this version who won’t exist five minutes from now.

“Maybe not,” Mobius tells him with an unconcerned shrug. “But I can promise you I’ll be receptive.”

Loki snorts. “That sure of yourself, are you?”

Mobius’ smile goes soft, secret. A little sad around the edges.

“With you?” he says. “Always.”

Ganondorf is enormous, well over seven feet tall and thick with heavy, corded muscle, the bulk of him great enough that in the months prior to his arrival, the castle staff had seriously considered widening several doorways around the castle. And while she is glad to know that he is able to fit through their doorways without issue, his size is… intimidating.

His hair is swept up into a glinting gold crown, the color a deep russet red that’s several shades darker than the rest of his kin. He's bare from the waist up, his naked torso heavily adorned, golden hoops in his ear lobes, a heavy looking necklace of gold and ruby draped around his throat, intricate designs swirling down to just above his navel. Delicate chains link the neck piece to golden cuffs squeezed tight around his biceps and then, even further down, another pair of arm guards that run from forearm to wrist. There is even, she realizes, her face going red, a pair of simple golden hoops through two brown nipples. They glint back at her in the afternoon light, mocking.

Zelda, who had missed the first of the introductions during her inspection of her betrothed, blinks hard, head jerking up when she hears her own name echoing through the chamber. She turns towards her father, who is looking back at her expectantly. She has no idea what he’s said, but she can guess.

She clears her throat, stepping forward until she is at the very edge of the dais. Her eyes find Ganondorf’s.

His eyes are warm. Gold. There’s intelligence there – slyness and cunning, yes – but even as the force of his gaze holds her in place, she recognizes something more there. A challenge. The potential for cruelty, perhaps. It will be a game, she thinks, looking at him. He will do his duty. He will wed her and unite their peoples, even swear fealty to Hyrule. And yet, she’s somehow sure that he will spend the rest of their lives testing her, looking for cracks in her armor, waiting and watching for a chance to usurp her throne.

She watches as he goes down to one knee before her, and finds her mouth wet as he reaches for her hand, saliva pooling against her tongue. Suddenly, she is very aware of everything. Her father beside her. Link at her back. Ganondorf’s kinsman watching her with a careful blankness masking their curiosity. There are wolves in the castle and they are hungry.

“Hello, Princess Zelda,” he says, mouth quirking upwards into something that’s more smirk than smile. His voice is warm, smooth like liquid honey.

“Ganondorf,” she makes herself say, willing her voice not to waver as she gives an estimation of a curtsy. It isn’t quite proper, but it is within the polite boundaries of etiquette. No one will be able to fuss.

His smile grows as his gaze flicks over her right shoulder, to where she knows Link is standing. She cannot allow herself to look, but she can guess that Link is likely standing there, his face carefully blank, the perfect soldier. She wonders what drew Ganondorf’s attention – a tightening of Link’s fingers around the hilt of his sword? A flicker of an expression around his mouth?

Whatever it is, Link holds Ganondorf’s attention for several long moments. Zelda can feel her hand begin to sweat against Ganondorf’s palm and longs to withdraw it. Then, Ganondorf’s smile goes a touch crooked, showing teeth, and still holding Link’s gaze, he ducks and presses his lips to her knuckles. Only then does he return his gaze to hers.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Ganondorf tells her, releasing her hand at last. Zelda can feel the burn of his lips against her skin, warmth blossoming outwards, sending seeking tendrils crawling down her wrist. She has to fight the urge to hide her hand behind her skirts.

She swallows again and makes herself smile, even as a shiver runs through her. “The pleasure is all mine.”

A hand touches her elbow and she flinches, expecting Link, but when she turns, it’s Ganondorf. He’s looking at her seriously, his heavy brows knotted. There is no calculating or cruelty on that face, only understanding.

“Wife,” he says, and that’s a little stab of agony as well, knowing that it is done, knowing that she is as good as shackled to the man next to her. “We don’t have to do this tonight.”

Her head jerks up, mouth parting. She’d expected cruelty, she realizes, looking into his eyes. Never in her wildest imaginings had she thought that Ganondorf could be kind.

It is a sweet offer, but a barbed one, as well. Even if she were to put the night off – how long would he wait? A week? A month? Years? What if she never wished to bed him? Would he allow that or would he go to her father and declare the marriage contract null.

No, better to get this over with.

Zelda swallows and shakes her head. Her eyes go to Link, standing just to the left of Ganondorf. His face is like stone, still refusing to look at her. He will hold vigil, here at her door. He will… hear. She’s known that all along, but now, it’s like an arrow in her gut. She shouldn’t have kissed him.

There’s a soft sound in the hallway, a quick inhalation, and her eyes go to Ganondorf, who is looking down at her with something like realization. A knowing. Even a soft smugness.

“Oh,” Ganondorf says, voice thick with understanding. Her heart drops as Ganondorf looks between them, face creased. “It is like that, then. I had wondered.”

Link doesn’t look up at either of them, his jaw merely tightening as he stands straight under Ganondorf’s gaze.

Ganondorf laughs, a soft thing, colored with amusement, as he leans back against the door to her rooms. Light from Zelda’s candle glints off of his crown, off of the plate of gold laid over his chest. He’s still looking between them.

“Hm,” he says once he’s finished laughing, reaching for Zelda’s hand. She gives it to him, her heart hammering in her chest, and sucks in a quiet breath when he steps forward and gently draws her over the threshold to her rooms. He takes the candle from her, setting it into the waiting sconce, and looks back over his shoulder at Link, who is still stone-faced and silent at the door.

He quirks an eyebrow at him and says, “Well, aren’t you coming?”

Shock explodes across Link’s face, blue eyes going wide as a ruddy blush instantly colors his cheeks. His mouth drops, lips parting as a huff of surprise leaves him. He stares at Ganondorf, open-mouthed, the emotion bleeding back into him all at once.

He glances towards Zelda, as if looking to confirm what he’d just heard.

Zelda, who finds that her mouth is also open, only shakes her head in disbelief.

Link’s eyes go back to Ganondorf’s, only to dart away again, skittish.

Ganondorf chuckles again, stepping forward until he’s once again looming in the doorway. He cocks his head, as if curious, eyes running up and down Link’s body, heavy with intent.

“I will admit,” Ganondorf tells him, that same strange smile playing around his lips as he reaches out, brushing a wayward curl from Link’s face. “It’s been some time since I had a boy in my bed, but having the both of you won’t be such a hardship.”

He casts a glance over his shoulder towards her even as his palm slides up to cup Link’s cheek, an almost proprietary grip, his thumb coming to rest at the corner of Link’s mouth. She’s shocked to realize that she wants to see what would happen if Link opened his mouth and sucked it in.

Ganondorf must see something of her thoughts on her face, because he laughs again, louder, a rumble deep in his chest.

“What do you think, princess?” Ganondorf asks, cocking his head. His smile is wide, knowing. “Would having your young knight here with us make the marriage bed more palatable?”

Fic goals:

No goals this year, I don't think. Only to write what I want to write. And as per my resolution, work on the original work as much as I can.

#heather says what #year in review #new year's memes #heather writes #2023

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the1975attheirverybest · 2 years ago

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Recently watched the ion pack interview and noticed Matty pulling his Sertraline out of his pocket because he rememberd to take it, and for some reason I find that really endearing. I know in the past he's talked about avoiding a diagnosis. Idk it's a dumb little thing but it's just nice to see him taking care of himself mentally and phsyically.

YES, YES, YES, YES!!! I definitely don’t wanna armchair diagnose him or anything. And sometimes, I wish he’d talk about it a little more explicitly cuz… idk, it helps sometimes when artists do. Whether it’s to de-stigmatize mental health, or offer hope to those who feel it ( me, I am those who feel it). But, I don’t know. With Matty, I think he says all he really needs to say through the music. Look at every song ever. Or all of NOTES. I’m in my notes era rn (aka having several crises on a daily basis), And, as a severely depressed and anxious human, Frail State of Mind is literally ALLLLL stuff that I have personally said about myself or thought to my self, or used to describe how I feel. “Sorry I missed your call. I watched it ring.” I’ve done that so much. To the point where people stopped calling me cuz they think I’m avoiding them/ don’t wanna talk.

Or “I always get this way sometimes” or “don’t wanna bore you with my state of mind.” Or “I’ll stay behind.” Or “I wouldn’t know I’m normally in bed at this time.” LEGIT. THINGS I THINK AND SAY ALWAYS. or even I Think There’s Something You Should Know. When I told my family about my diagnosis and at first they didn’t believe me cuz “it doesn’t show.” I’m very good at hiding how I feel. Literally could go on and on foreverrrr.

Anywayssss. All that is to say that perhaps him avoiding a diagnosis in the past was his way of “dealing” or pretending to be in control and I feel like that moment of him taking his meds signifies him growing up. Confronting his issues. Taking accountability. And finally feeling like he’s worth healing and looking after himself. Which all means he’s maturing. I know Twitter doesn’t think so, and we lovingly and affectionately roast Matty all the time, but on a serious note, I’m so so so proud of him for doing the hard work to get better. Cuz that shit really is hard. I’ve deliberately bailed on therapy and shit myself. When things get hard, it’s easy to go into self-destruct mode. It fills me with awe and joy to see that he’s quit hurting myself and is finally growing. Bless his beautiful, gentle soul. I hope he knows how proud we all are of him.

WE LOVE YOU MATTY.

Major apologies for this sappy reply. Back to normal now…..

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finsterhund · 2 years ago

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the only thing you seem to "take and take" is abuse and pain from everything and everyone including that crazy woman. Just from reading your blog once in a while it's clear to me that you have a hard life but keep fighting through it. Even if you never hear this from anyone else I'm proud of you

Thank you anon. 🥺🥺🥺 I'm trying to make myself feel better about this. It's hard when I'm literally only drywall and shit away from her. I really want to run away and hide. I'm getting people telling me she might be some form of mentally deranged and that she's old enough for things like dementia or even that she did something to the birds herself but I don't want to blame mental illness for her being cruel and mean. Obviously my roommate said we can't move so I guess the only thing to do is wait for her to die as cruel sounding as that is. I see no way that any form of real civility or friendship can come back after this. It's a complete violation of trust. My roommate wanted to chew her out and get mad at her for it being "slander" and "harassment" I don't really know if it's either but I do know that if he confronts her she's going to get worse because that always happens. I miss the nice lady who used to live there. She was nice to Cazza and her cats would say hi to Cazza and she died of cancer just like Cazza. I wonder why this person started off being nice and giving me things only to then do this. I kept trying to tell her not to give me things but she insisted. Was that just her making it so that she could say I take and take? That's another thing that happens. Adults will "give" you things and then expect things from you. But she doesn't seem to want something from me so it's not just yet more grooming like usual. I'm so burned up and exhausted. I told my roommate I'm too scared to leave the house so he's gonna walk Scott from here on out. Hoping that if I buy myself treats and toys it'll comfort me enough to not want to die anymore but no promises. My brain has just been going "Andy die Andy want go thrift store" on loop all night which I guess is preferable to most else.

I kept trying to think of what I actually did to make her do this to me and treat me this way but my roommate said I didn't actually do anything to deserve it and it's a problem with her and she wanted an excuse to be bad and all that which in theory I understand but unlike weirdos on Twitter this is somebody that is right fucking there in the flesh.

She actually early on brought up unprompted how she hopes birds around here stay safe and nothing bad happens to them because "people are horrible" and I have to wonder if that's some sort of weird projection. I have no idea. But as someone who helped a downed nest of baby crows when I was younger and who would shoo off outdoor cats when they were outside my window chasing things up trees it's very insulting to have the blame thrust on me.

#text post #negative #anon #what was that saying about how we're not reaponsible for the versions of us that exist only in other people's heads?#that's hard for me to internalize because I grew up being punished for versions of me that existed in my parents heads

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spoontoof · 2 years ago

Text

june 12th, 2023 6:34pm

a proud proudly presents

hi, sorry for being gone for three days. from this wednesday-next friday is finals week, and i haven't had enough time to write excessively long blog posts like this, as opposed to short little thoughts on my twitter. tho don't fret, i only have big scary tests for three days out of the 8 consecutive days of spooky tests. augh!

for the last few days, i've been obsessed with lemon demon's song "eighth wonder". originally released in 2009 as both a music video on neil's channel, and as one of the two only original songs on the compilation album "almanac 2009", eighth wonder was re-released in 2016 on lemon demon's latest album, "spirit phone". the song contains a series of quotes from the alleged paranormal event that occurred on the irving farm during the 1930s. supposedly, the farm was haunted by a talking mongoose named gef (pronounced "jeff") and he haunted the house for about 10 years before the irvings fucked off to another part of britain. the new owner of the farm allegedly killed gef by shooting him to death, tho when the irvings heard about this, they stated that the owner "killed the wrong mongoose" and that gef was immortal. then, over the years, the whole event was theorized to be a hoax, and i for one, believe that it was a hoax, and so does neil. for starters, neil says in his commentary for spirit phone that:

"it's the kind of story that a little kid would tell, not understanding that it's not a believable lie. but it's told in a believable way. so it has the effect of not just challenging what you think the rules of the universe are, but challenging that there are any rules, so letting yourself get drawn into the story is in a way creepier than a story that is quote unquote 'plausible'."

being someone who believes in the paranormal, this story is bullshit. cuz ghosts don't come back as mongooses (jeez, i always thought that mongoose plural was mongeese!) and when a mongoose dies, and becomes a ghost, it doesn't talk. cuz it's a mongoose. and i guess it could've been a demon, cuz demons can transform into animals such as mongooses, but if it were a talking mongoose demon, than it would either mostly stay quiet and do scary shit around the farm, or just straight up say scary shit! and gef's personality is described as being very goofy, and neil says, "this story stuck out to me because he's so childish, and quotable, and talkative for a ghost. he's cracking jokes, and he's insulting people and making outlandish claims, but he's totally hidden, an nobody can really see him." and, overall, it just seems like one of those totally fake creepypastas you'd read on the internet between 2013-2019. and the song is just basically about the life of gef, living in the walls, and how he's a freak of nature. gef reportedly said, "i am a freak. i have hands and i have feet and if you saw me you'd faint, you'd be petrified, mummified, turned into stone or a pillar of salt!" overall, i think that the story is fake, but yet, very interesting.

sometimes when i scroll through twitter, i see some of my mutuals saying, "oh, there's a [INSERT FUCKED UP ZOOPHILE/WHATEVER IS CONSIDERED FUCKED UP ON THE INTERNET TODAY] on my tl." and no, don't misinterpret what i said, and think that i support zoophiles. they're disgusting. what i'm satirizing is that the internet keeps on coming up with fetishes of the most fucked up shit that i think whenever i read them, "why would a human ever be thinking of this!? these kids need to go outside and touch some grass!!!"

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tartt9 · 2 years ago

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Jamie doesn't touch gossip rags. The further he can stay away from The fucking Sun, the better. He learned his lesson way back before he and Keeley started dating; anything in a gossip rag isn't worth reading, and the people who're paid to write it aren't worth the title of journalist. With that being said - Jamie doesn't know what [ if anything ] has been published about him in those papers, not in recent years, not during his City days. He especially doesn't know what they have to say about Arlo. In Jamie's mind, they're like two sides of the same coin, if one side of the coin was shiny and new, and the other side was dipped in shit. Which may not be enough grace for Arlo, but Jamie's not a perfect person. He's trying to be the best man he can be - that doesn't mean he's always successful.

He doesn't intend to be cruel about it - Jamie hasn't intended to be cruel since his loan year - he knows that Arlo's family hasn't been kind to him from what little he's seen on Twitter [ when Jamie's on twitter, if somebody isn't mentioning him, one of his teammates, or Roy by name, he tends to skip past it without a second thought ]. But he can tell his words affected Arlo. And Jamie isn't the sort to pretend like what he's said hasn't hurt someone, not anymore. "Look..." he starts. He still doesn't think he's very good at this apology thing. "I grew up on a council estate in North Manchester." Everyone knows that. It's the first fucking thing under Early Life on Jamie's Wikipedia page. But it's important context, so he says it. "And -- that... fucking... influenced everything for me. From the moment I were born 'til I was seventeen and making Premier League money. And even sometimes after that." Because people love to bring it up, don't they? Jamie's not ashamed of where he comes from - not at all, if anything, he's proud of it, proud of the work he's had to put in, proud of the fact that he's gone above and beyond what most other footballers would have had to go to get to where he got. But, sometimes, he doesn't want to talk about everything he had to sacrifice for football. How he'd never been outside of England until he was 14. Jamie would take any opportunity to lather praise on Georgie's name, but she doesn't deserve to have to hear him talking about how much extra work she had to do to get him his boots whenever he grew out of an old pair - how much time they could've had together, just... wasted, working to get Jamie what he needed to keep playing the game he loved.

"So... it's... fucking hard, sometimes, to... accept... when I'm... y'know. The same as somebody. Especially with how different we grew up. Childhood's, like, a massive influence on adulthood, innit? So - yeah, yeah, we both got fucked up childhoods. But my fucked up childhood is really fucking different than your fucked up childhood." Jamie doesn't want to talk about his father. Doesn't want to bring him into his conversation. Especially when he hasn't heard from James since Wembley, which is fucking weird, and freaking him the fuck out [ losing 4-0 to City at home after Zava fucking disappears on them? That's very much a James Tartt reason to send some texts ]. "I don't mean to hurt ya, and I don't mean to say anythin' stupid-like. I'm grateful for you tryin' to be open with me, 'cause it's tough to be open with people, I know that. But... for me, I mean - it's still a little weird to be compared to Arlo fuckin' Thompson, yeah...?"

jamie practically laughs in arlo's face, and the actor can't help but deflate at the gesture. he's sure the athlete isn't intending to be cruel, but it stings nonetheless . he fixes his attention firmly on the ground, hoping that in concentrating on the cracks in the pavement, he can keep his cheeks from turning that VICIOUS , SPLOTCHY RED they become when he's fueled by upset . of course they aren't identical ━ of course they've got their differences, arlo's not so fucking naive that he'd compare apples to oranges. he'd just meant that jamie could talk to him and he would understand ━ and even if he didn't understand, he'd do his best to be there for him anyways. but...it doesn't really matter what he'd meant now, does it? because he can hear this tinge of disdain in jamie's voice, 'but that weren't always the case, weren't it?', as if arlo had any say in the matter. as if he was somehow proud of that which marked them as being STARKLY DIFFERENT from one another, their backgrounds creating a bridge he thinks that he'll maybe never be allowed to cross. funny, that. arlo thinks he'd trade all the money in the world for a set of parents that actually loved him, or maybe even a set of parents that at least loved his sisters. he tries not to be upset with jamie ━ they weren't incredibly close ( despite arlo's best efforts , as he's pushed away time && time again ) and what jamie knows of his shite parents, he knows from social media and ridiculous gossip rags most likely, not yet arlo himself. still…he's hurt, as jamie draws that LINE IN THE SAND between them. ❝ no, i guess not, ❞ is all he can muster, voice quiet and drawn, biting his lip so hard it just might bleed.

#pnkb1tch #replies !#verse: season iii !#he's trying to pay him a compliment with that last line but it's.....very jamie. very poorly executed

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dreamcatcherrs · 4 years ago

Text

dating a faceless streamer/youtuber; mcyt x reader

+ this was a request, but it got deleted in my drafts ;-; sorry!

dream:

since he is also a faceless youtuber

he’s very understanding of keeping your privacy

and whatever reason you have to not reveal your face, he respects it

he knows what it’s like to have people tell him to face reveal

sometimes his voice will just appear in the back of your streams/videos

like in sapnap’s with the question about one direction

and chat is like, how long has he been here?????

the two of you would hint at a face reveal

and then after weeks brush it off like it was nothing

because you like to torture the fans, I guess🙄

because dream never has a face cam on

he has the perfect seat for you on his lap whenever he streams/films

and the same thing goes for when you film/stream; he’ll be sitting right next to you with his hand in yours or on your thigh

you’re known as the faceless couple

georgenotfound:

it really doesn't bother him at all that you’re a faceless streamer/youtuber

I don't see him as the type to post a whole lot of pictures with his s/o anyways

or something along those lines

so it wouldn't make a big difference to him

would just think it was funny to tease chat about knowing what you look like, when they don't

and then having them just hear you voice in the background of his videos sometimes

but not actually seeing you

he kinda likes that your relationship is more concealed

and that it’s harder for people to come at you when they don't know what you look like exactly, just because he’s dating you

because that would honestly be his biggest worry when revealing your relationship

so he’s happy that’s one less worry :)

sapnap:

does everything to not get people to beg for a face reveal

he doesn't want people to put that kind of pressure on you

especially if they go after you for it just because you're dating him

like, he will make a video about it if he has to

or tweet about it

the last thing he wants is for the fake fans to try and reveal your face or other things about you

when clearly that’s what you wanna keep private

that being said, he’d do so many streams with you

wether it’s gong against each other, or being on the same team

you always have so much fun together

even if you're literally in the same room together

if his face cam is on, he’d look over at you every now and then and send you a smile or some shit like that

there’s some pretty cute moments - expect a compilation

badboyhalo:

bad would be really proud to have an s/o who did youtube/streamed

and he would for sure help you out if you ever needed him to!

like with coding

or just general growth in your channel

wouldn't really care if you showed your face or not - whatever you're happy with makes him happy

he would just make sure that you never felt pressured to show your face

he knows people out there can be meanies

and come for you just because you don't show your face

and he’d always be there to talk to about it if it ever stressed you out

he would also make sure that you didn't hide your face because you didn’t like it or something like that

and if that was the case, you bet he’d be reassuring you

calling your all kinds of sweet things and show you lots of love

he takes lots of pictures of his two favourite girls

you and rat, of course (without showing your face, obviously)

technoblade:

he actually really likes that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

like, he doesn't notice how much he likes it

before he realises all of the times you'd sneaked some hand-holding while streaming, or shared little kisses when on mute wouldn't have been possible if you both didn't show your faces

you’d share these secret glances when streaming/filming together

and no one would even know about it

sometimes his chat hears a little talking in the background from you

but techno just brushes it off like you weren't sitting right next to him the entire time

and vice versa

he also just stays with you when you're working

sharing small touches and words

chat also notice eventually how much you gush over each other without noticing

it happens A LOT more than you realise

especially from his side🤭

wilbur soot:

okay so

I think wilbur would have a hard time not showing you off to stream every second of the day

he would just always talk about you and want you there with him in his streams

and miss your touch after 5 minutes of being apart

but would be totally respectful of you wanting to remain faceless

he would just talk to you from an angle where chat couldnt see you

but yeah, he loves that you do the same type of job as him

and most of all, you motivate each other on days where you can't be bothered to even get out of bed

you’re definitely that couple that everyone makes cute compilations of

and that everyone strives to be

chat loves you, what more can I say

corpse husband:

ANOTHER FACELESS COUPLE

the power you two hold over everyone is actually immaculate

you stream/film together all the time

just having fun and being yourselves

he would definitely ask if you could join the games he plays with others when streaming

and if that wasn't possible, he’d just get you to come into his room and be part of it that way

he teases you a lot on stream

both cutely and mischievously

and your viewers are like👀

while his chat is just going crazy

you share lots of giggles

like, seriously, the majority of the videos/streams consists of you two laughing your asses off

you two will forever be known as the faceless couple

even if you both face reveal, that’ll always be your title

skeppy:

zak will find a way to show you off no matter what

he just can't resist

the way his heart is always beating out of his chest because of you is just too much for him to not ever show you to the world

but of course with your consent only

he wouldn't ever pressure you or anything

but since you're only remaining faceless

you can expect LOTS of matching outfit pictures taken in the mirror

and just lots of pictures of you in general

with your face blocked out or not in view, of course

you'd always be helping each other with your setups or videos

and he’d want to introduce you to literally everyone he knows

especially bad

you don't necessarily stream/film a lot with each other

but you're always in each others’ company in some shape or form

he always mentions you in his streams

just small stories or conversations

chat can tell he’s head over heels for you

karl jacobs:

he's the most support person everrr

he’d always be celebrating even the tiniest achievements with you

you hit 2k subs? he’ll treat you to an expensive ass dinner

you hit 1 million subs? he’ll buy you a whole room full of filming gear to improve from your previous ones

you managed to finish that one video you've been struggling with? he takes you on a weekend trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go

he’ll beg you to join him in is streams

just so he can hold your hand :)

or laugh with you every once in a while

he doesn't need you to face reveal at all

your company is all that matters to him when it includes the rest of the world

I mean, he’s the one able to see your beautiful face all the time, so he can't really complain even if he felt like it

always tweets about you or tweets things at you that only you two understand

and everyone is like ?????

but you don't care :)

fundy:

fundy actually doesn't talk a lot about you in his streams or videos

mostly to avoid people leaving bad light on you in the chat

unless he’s in the same game as you, of course

which in that case, the first thing he’d want to do is find you and talk to you in the game

he’s very respectful of you keeping your face private

and tries his best to keep the pressure of a face reveal off your shoulders

especially if it’s happening in his or your comments

if it gets really bad, he’ll eventually talk about it on twitter or something like that

does tiktoks with you

only with your voice though

and posts manyyy pictures where you’re tagged, but only slightly in view

he doesn't really care about your face being a secret

as long as he gets to see it, he’s happy

quackity:

alex has so much fun making videos or going live with you

and obviously you have the best collabs

you’re the funniest couple on the platform and it shows

he would talk so much about you - like, telling embarrassing stories about you or some shit like that

or saying how clingy you are with him

and chat would be like AWW HE TALKS ABOUT THEM

and he's like “no”😤

but alex can't fool anyone

he’s in it for real with you🥴

and at times, he doesn't even try to hide it

especially when he speaks up about ho proud he is of you

and how people should respect your choice of remaining faceless to the world

but then he quickly moves on to his silly self again

with blushy cheeks ^w^

punz:

has you on his lap constantly

even when his hand-cam is on

nothing will stop him from making you sit on his lap while he’s streaming

he loves that he can rant to you about the problems he faces sometimes concerning his streams

because you get it

he’d teach you the games you didn't know of

and you'd teach him the games that he didn't know of

and then you'd stream/film together after learning the basics

he doesn't talk about you a lot on stream

but chat eventually figures out it’s because you're literally in the same room as him

and how do they find that out, you may ask?

well, your snores coming from his headphones made it very obvious to say the least

awesamdude:

sam knows what it’s like being a faceless streamer

so if you wanted, he’d give you all of the advice you needed

and if you ever considered face revealing, he'd totally help you!

you guys have matching setups

you sometimes talk to each other across the room as you're playing the same game together

because it’s funny to tease chat that way

you’d be posting pictures on social media

that give off hints that you're with each other a lot

like, in one photo he’s wearing a hoodie

and the next day, you post a photo of you in that exact same hoodie

stuff like that

he also celebrates big and small achievements with you

wether it be you achieving them or him, you always celebrate together

eret:

matching. outfits.

STRAWBERRY DRESSES

PLATFORM HEELS

ahhhh chat would be going absolutely crazy at the fits you guys have sometimes

and you're always matching

as in always

he tells their stream that you have a matching crown like his

but that chat obviously can't see it on you because you don’t have a face-cam

she likes telling stories about you

like, memories they have of you two together

and he just always compliments you and praises you for your hard work on her streams

telling everyone how happy you make them

she also always invites you to join his streams because it means a lot to them that you're there :)

jack manifold:

jack is so excited about the fact that you're also a streamer/youtuber

it makes it easier to open up about your relationship online

because some people already knew you before you revealed you two were dating

though I feel like jack would kinda like the secrecy of your face online

just to brag to his audience about how he gets to see your face every day

but also because he likes that there’s more privacy for you

sometimes he’d pop into your room without knowing you were streaming/filming

and would just start talking to you while you giggled about how you were “kinda in the middle of something”

when jack realised what you meant, he’d hurry out of the room in an instant

you’d always be in each others chats/comments

showing what a supportive couple you were

he always raids you at the end of his streams if you’re streaming at the same time

tommyinnit:

tommy always forgets that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

and is sometimes sooo close to blurting out something he shouldn't

because he’s so used to seeing you, he just kinda forgets that no one else can

you always have to send him a text to “sToP TalKIng AbOUt yOu” so he doesn't accidentally reveal something

that being said, he literally talks so much about you

again, I’m bringing up that time he said that tubbo is so clingy

he says the same thing about you

but he’s really the clingy one, and it’s pretty obvious

you catch him saying things like “yeah, y/n is really cool”

or “guys, please don't say stuff like that to y/n”

getting all serious and shit🥺

he asks you constantly if you can join his vc

even when you're busy, he’s like “pay. attention. to. me😤”

it’s really entertaining sometimes

especially when his streams just consist of you two bickering the whole time

calls you his favourite woman

tubbo:

ahhh tubbo is so sweet when it comes to you

like, when anyone mentions you he just starts smiling

and wants to tell everyone about you

even if they already know you from your channel

he just can't help but ramble on about you

especially to tommy

he replies to all of your tweets

and you reply to all of his

you always feature each other on your channels/streams

and share a celebratory cake when reaching subgoals

sometimes chat notices similarities in your layouts

like a colour change

or a similar pattern

posts a photo of your pinkies intertwined

wearing matching bracelets you made yourself

and everyone finds it super cute<3

ranboo:

he would encourage you so much to join his videos

and wear the same type of outfit to cover your face with

but with a sense of yourself in it so you'd look similar, but not exactly like each other

you'd be matching outfits so often

doesn't talk a lot about you on his streams

apart from mentioning how short you are

but on TWITTER

that's a whole other story

his twitter has practically just become a fan account of you

he’s always in your comments

just to leave a :)

or a supportive comment

if you ever wanted to do a face reveal

he would do it with you if it meant making you feel more comfortable about it

or less nervous

you’re just very lowkey and cute

___________________________________

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