#just romanticizing winter a little bit

[knightinink]

Why can’t it be the middle of winter now???

I wanna stand outside at night with a distant light & watch the heavy snow fall around me, enjoying the silence a cold winter’s night has to offer.

I wanna take my headphones out & listen to the crunching snow under my boots as I walk home, just existing in that moment.

I wanna come in from the cold, hang up my wet jacket & put my boots by the heater to dry, & wring out the snow & ice stuck in my hair.

I wanna curl up in a warm sweater on my rocking chair with a nice cup of cocoa with as many small marshmallows as years I’ve lived.

I wanna read a book with oldies music playing softly in the background, surrounded by warm-toned fairy lights & candles.

I want it to be the middle of winter now.

[skrrts]

summer in autumn (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x jung wooyoung ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, fluff, romance ✧ word count: 1,3k

It was social media and TV series that romanticized autumn and the cold season, to be snuggly and romantic, but Wooyoung and you were different. You thrived in summer, with long evenings, walks along the beach, and biking to the nearest convenience store to eat ramyun in the middle of the night while you enjoyed the gentle wind of summer. The end of summer always feels so bittersweet but it doesn't mean he can't try and keep some of the spirits alive.

a/n: I'm currently struggling with writer's block, and looking at all those selfies, I considered trying this. I confess that I am not a fan of the cold seasons. I always struggle a bit with winter depression. This one-shot is dedicated to everyone who also daydreams about spring 🤎 not proofread.

Wooyoung knew that he didn't have a whole lot of time left before you would be back home. As he replied to your text, he was busy setting up all the little things he prepared within the past two weeks. Autumn had come so suddenly, one weekend, the two of you still enjoyed a weekend trip to the ocean and the next day, you scolded him for wearing just his leather jacket and got up early to ensure he'd wrap a scarf around his neck to stay warm. There was this strange sentiment every year when the seasons changed and Summer suddenly felt like a fleeting memory. Of course, it was a silly feeling, nobody could take away all the beauty and the events of the past few months but there was still a longing, that wish to forever remain there although Wooyoung knew just as well that it was impossible.

It was days like that where he wished he'd just be a bit more like San who always managed to see the best at every time of the year, always smiling warmly and being comfortable. He admired his best friend for his ability but also was envious. Maybe it was fate that the person who stole his heart really wasn't so different. Ironically, he met you in the deepest of Winter, one of the harshest since his childhood, or at least, so his parents told him. Snow covered the roads and he got stuck in traffic, no way to make it to his job at the music store. he muttered about it when he heard you chuckle as he complained so loudly. Instead of teasing him, you just had this cute smile and then started to ask with sincere curiosity about his job, the fact that such a thing as a traditional store still existed, explaining how it just was his part-time job while taking online classes.

Suddenly that Winter day didn't seem so bad anymore.

The cold season was bearable with you by his side, now years spent together making it special in its own way.

He carefully opened the box: bottles of sand, sea shells, dried summer fruits, and a few other objects, maybe he collected during your trips around the world. Everything was carefully placed within the living room, candles dancing as he moved up and down, a fruity smell filled the air and he put on a YouTube playlist with different summer vibe videos and matching music. "This looks pretty good," he hummed to himself.

Wooyoung spent a few hours in the kitchen prior to it, preparing a vast selection of your favorite meals, and as Summer was your time of the year, they all suited it just fine. He loved to cook for you, not only because you were all visible when enjoying food but there was just something to prepare meals for the person he loved the most. Now all of it was carried to the small dining table you put up in the living room, in the middle of the decor.

He smiled, pleased to see how perfectly it all added up before he rushed to the bedroom. Wooyoung checked himself in the mirror after styling his hair, he was glad he listened to your advice to be daring and try out bangs, it complemented his face well and he loved how you often now just placed your hand underneath his chin to hold it, looking at him fondly before he received all of those gentle kisses that made you giggle because you said he looked all dreamy.

Wooyoung changed into a new outfit, one that was reminiscent of Summer and added some accessories. He checked the time again and just managed to pick up the cocktails the moment you opened the door, the sweetest most playful of smiles on his lips: "Welcome home!"

The confusion and surprise was obvious on your face but you soon laughed and kicked off your boots and coat: "Oh? I did not know I won a home summer vacation!"He loved you for joining into his humor so quickly and Wooyoung leaned forward to press a kiss onto your cheek as you accepted the cocktail. "That's what surprises are for." The glow in your eyes indicated that you were enjoying the drink: "Well, you have my full attention now, Mister Jung."

He smirked and took your hand, balancing the drink with the other. On the floor was a large blue bed sheet faking the ocean with a floating on top of it, one you purchased for them this summer, large enough for two. Wooyoung led you to it and placed the drink on the small table as he pulled you down to sit in front of him, arms curled around your waist as you laughed softly.

"This truly is the best kind of vacation," you whispered and tilted your head very slightly, just enough so that he could easily lean forward and kiss you. "I'm glad you like it," he whispered a little.

As bold as his actions could be, Wooyoung had moments where he felt insecure but you always managed to make him feel good. "Thank you, this surprise is really sweet. It started to rain earlier, my boss drove me home thankfully when she saw that the bus was late. Now, I have no longer to worry about it. I am in the middle of the sea with my man."

Wooyoung chuckled: "Is that so? Well, what should we first do then? We can just float like this for a while or, there is a really great hotel buffet right next to the beach. Mh, we also just could relax in the sand, I could give you a suncream massage if you want." Wooyoung rambled on and only stopped after the finally noticed how you looked at him. His cheeks flushed: "What is it?"

You shook your head, chuckling: "Nothing, you are just very cute! I think maybe a small snack on the beach would be great but oh no, Is this a wind!?!" You gave him a playful shove and he played along, rolling off onto the sheets, pretending he just had fallen into the water but you were right on top of him. Wooyoung had no time to think further because his heart was beating loudly as your lips curled against his.

Naturally, his arms curled around your figure and he was lost in a long and deep kiss with you. The warmth of your body was forever comforting and he reminded himself how it really didn't matter where you were or if it was Summer or Winter. All that mattered was to have you by his side, like this, here and now.

"I always wanted to go for a deep underwater kiss in the middle of the ocean;" you joked and he just smirked: "We can arrange for that more often:" Your eyes were playful: "That sounds more than perfect. Now, shall I save you and bring you to the shores?"

Wooyoung winked: "Yes, please save me!" He admired you as you slowly stood up and helped him to stand up. Even after years, the beauty of the one by his side remained unmatched. "You look very dreamy today Woo, I'd almost say you are more in spring than summer," your voice reached him as you were the one pulling him over to the table this time.

Uh, it looked like he no longer could tease his best friend for being helplessly romantic, he had proven to be just the same over the years.

Wooyoung wouldn't want it any other way tho, he never could stop himself smiling around you, heart beating loudly and happiness rushing through his body. The way how you two were the same, yet so differently.

But he could be a little stubborn and insist that a person couldn't only be home but also a season. Gosh, it was awfully cheesy but you were his home and Summer and Spring at the same time.

He squeezed your hand and pulled you back into another kiss. Winter and dinner could wait just a little longer.

[inbarfink]

Goddam, just seeing Simon in these last two episodes is really flooding me with so many conflicting emotions.

Because, on the one hand, after his lowest point in Episode 4 - resigning himself to death in the hands of the Scarab - he’s clearly finally doing better. Just look at him making plans

And showing off his smarts

And finally genuinely smiling and feeling happy

And being so glad to meet the alt versions of his friends

And getting excited about his nerdy shit for the first time in glob-knows-how-long

And cracking goofy geeky jokes

And offering others the same grace and kindness he was given when he was trapped under the curse of the Magic Crown

And trying to be comforting and fatherly and give Fionna advice and cheer her up

He’s so clearly doing a lot better now, he’s rediscovering aspects of himself that his depression has torn away from him, he found a meaning and purpose in his life again. And it should warm my heart, and on some level it does....

But it also sends a chill down my spine knowing that this purpose that brought back the light into Simon’s eyes, the purpose he finally found is sacrificing his mind and identity again for the sake of Fionna’s happiness and her world.

He’s throwing himself right back into the miserable existence and the trauma he tries so hard to move forward from. He’s dooming himself because he honestly believes now that he’s always going to be miserable and lonely and fucked up so he might as well have be the kind of miserable and fucked up that is not lucid enough to know how miserable he is all of the time. The kind of misery that at least fits into his world.

Because he started to romanticize being the Ice King in a twisted kinda way, and now he has found the excuse to turn it into a selfless, noble act. Because the only way he feels like he’s useful and like he has worth is by protecting and helping and sacrificing himself for the sake of others.

(And like, especially in light of how he was trying to resign himself to death just moments before coming up with his plan. Not to get extremely dark, but.... suicidal people often seem to ‘get better’ just before the try to kill themselves. Because they feel like they’re finally ‘doing something’ and their misery is almost over. That kinda feels what Simon is going through right now? Becoming the Ice King again is not literally death, but it is a sort of death for Simon Petrikov’s identity.)

And this new sense of purpose in saving Fionnaworld by dooming himself is clearly blinding Simon to so many obviously telegraphed signs that this is a horrible idea.

He saw hints of just how badly Farmworld Finn has been dealing with his own Magic Crown Related Trauma

and maybe if things would’ve been different this could’ve been something they could have commiserated over. Simon could’ve had someone who understood a bit of what he has gone through, and seeing a version of Finn, of all people, face similar struggles - maybe could’ve helped him feel a little less Uniquely and Irredeemably Fucked Up. (For bonus points, they're ALSO both dealing with the grief of losing their Significant Other)

But his newfound obsession that Everything Will Be Better Once He’s Cursed again was making him totally ignore all of this.

And then there’s their little adventure in the Winter Kingdom. Which had both the Candy Queen/Princess Bubblegum as a perfect reminder of the suffering and pain involved in being trapped in the Madness of the Magic Crown

And the Winter King as a reminder of the harmful and twisted things he was capable of doing as the Ice King.

But instead he basically refused to learn any lesson from that Universe that’s not just ‘Fuck That Version of Me Specifically’ and tried to advice Fionna to do the same.

But well, while I am still worried about Simon’s mental state, his improved disposition does give me a little bit of hope. Hope that maybe he himself will notice that he is doing better and won’t be quite so eager to sacrifice his own sanity. Or maybe more likely, hope that now that he’s not just a miserable sadman screaming at their faces

Fionna and Cake are growing to appreciate Simon Petrikov for who he is and will simply refuse to let him sacrifice himself for their sake. Because, yeah, Simon tried to tell Fionna to not worry about all of that Winter Kingdom stuff, that it was just that Simon was ‘messed up’ - but since when does Fionna Campbell do what she’s told?

[mintmatcha]

cw: implied spoilers, time skip bakugo

The crisp romanticism of winter has long faded, leaving behind only grimy, half-melted snow marked by bits of gravel and garbage pulled up by the plow trucks weeks ago. The wet, thick chill that hangs in the air is only worsened by the fact the sun is already setting this early in the afternoon, basking the city in an underwhelming, watery pink.

It’s the perfect day to forget, you decide. If summer has dog days, this is a cat day of winter: designed for sleeping, isolating, and letting the world pass by. You wouldn't even be out of bed if Mina hadn't invited you to this stupid dinner.

Running into Bakugo on the way was just a coincidence. You found each other on the train, each of you coming from your respective works, and decided to would be rude to not walk to rest of the way together. Luckily, you knew Bakugo well enough that it wasn't immediately awkward; he was a bit abrasive, sure, but in a sort of charming way that you couldn't quite ignore. The small talk was polite enough, filled with  niceties and questions about life.

Denki has warned you not to bring up work around Bakugo in fear of you being the victim of his wrath, but today he seems okay discussing it.

“Never thought I’d be teaching,” he fiddles with his scarf, pulling it up higher to hide the darker scarring that runs down his neck and across his entire right side, “But my old teacher was retiring and I couldn’t swing the prohero thing anymore, so I figured- fuck, why not?”

You think there’s more to the story, but you don’t push. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Oh, fuck no. Every day is making sure these dumb ass kids don’t kill themselves by accident,” Bakugo barks out a laugh at himself, “I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

His affection is hard to read. It’s course, unrefined, hidden in thinly veiled insults.

"Oi, your shoe’s untied."

Bakugo jerks his chin towards you, his eyes lowered accusationally towards your feet. You pause mid-stride and look down. Sure enough, he's right: the laces to your boots have come undone, dragging in the snow behind you, more grey than white now.

"Dammit,” you sigh, kicking that foot forward. Water droplets flick off the end and splatter down the sidewalk ahead of you, disappearing into the heavily trampled snow. “These boots are cute, but they suck.” You scoop down to your knee, but are caught just as your pants hit the cool, wet ground.

“Oi!” A hand, thick before the mittens but almost comically massive now, is clamped around your shoulder, “It’s wet, dummy. Get up.”

Bakugo practically drags you back up before dipping down himself, ripping his mitten off of his free hand with his teeth. It hangs there, dangling comically as he rather aggressively wipes off the soiled knee of your jeans.

“ ‘onna ruin your fuckin’ pants.” The fabric damps his annoyed grumbles.

When he’s seemingly deemed the spot clean, Bakugo pulls away to inspect it, then falls to one knee rather ungracefully, sliding in the slush beneath his rubber soles. Wind kisses cheeks and the frigid tip of his nose both glow red as he looks at you from down there, eyebrows pinched together just like always.

"Here." Bakugo pats his thigh expectantly, waiting for a moment before doing it again. When he huffs, a little cloud of breath rises in front of him. "Come on."

You take a moment to realize what he wants. "What? I don’t wanna get you dirty.”

"I don't care, come on." He tugs you by the laces, guiding your foot into his leg. There's immediately a dark, wet mark across the denim, but Bakugo doesn't seem to notice; he's too busy tugging off his other mitten, tossing both of them to the side.

Bakugo clicks his tongue against his teeth as he hooks a finger under the bottom most rung of your laces and tugs, tightening the toe box of your shoe with one shift movement. A couple walks by, whispering to each other as the step over and around the blonde, and their gaze makes your cheeks burn.

"These boots don’t suck- you don’t tie them right." The digits are stiff and pink from the cold, moving clumsily as he tightens section by section, working his way to the top. There's a peace on his face as he works, a relaxation you don't usually get to see. On the top of his head there's a couple whispers of grey hiding in the blonde. "You gotta-"

With the extra length he's created, Bakugo loops the length around your ankle and ties a quick knot. "Like that."

He pats your calf. "Other foot."

"You don't have to-"

His eyes flicker up, watching you through light brown lashes. The scar over his right eye has long clouded the color and the sight, changing the dark red of his iris into a muddled pink. Mina's shown you pictures of him in high school, back when his features were symmetrical and he was considered classically attractive, but you think you might prefer him now. He's uniquely pretty, with features you have to explore for a moment to fully learn.

Clearly unamused by the denial, Bakugo pats your calf again. With a heavy sigh, you step off of him and bring your other foot up.

Undoing your own knot and redoing his process isn't short work. Bakugo takes his time, breathing on his fingers to warm them up in between rows. It's surprisingly intimate, the way he lingers over you, each touch almost too personal to be solely platonic. He’s stalling, you realize, trying to hold on to this nothing moment on an awful winter day for just a moment longer.

You've never seen him in this light before.

When he's finally done, he sits back on his own heel and lets his arms fall away from you. The world feels like it's shifted one degree to the left.

"You didn't have to do that," you say softly as he gathers his mittens. The yarn has acted as a sponge, soaking up their weight with water. Bakugo curls his lip at this. "I can tie my own shoes."

"Yeah, well," he stands, jamming his hands in his pockets and looking away in a surprisingly coquette move. He speaks softly for once, probably with as much kindness as he can muster. "Someone had to show you the right way to do it."

You both stand there, Bakugo in his ruined pants, you with boots tied almost too tightly, in silence, almost as if you're both waiting for the other to do something.

You almost continue on your way and ignore the flutter in your chest, the strange simplicity that brought you just a bit closer to a friend of a friend-

but then you catch how his gaze flickers to your lips for a fraction of a second-- fleeting, longing.

"Let's go," Bakugo says, stepping forward, "I'm freezing my tits off and Denki's gonna eat all the appetizers before we even-"

You catch him by the sleeve. "Hey."

"What?"

You catch him by surprise as he turns, pressing on to your toes to push your lips into the corner of his mouth. His lips are slick with lip balm-- cherry flavored and sweet beyond belief-- and incredibly warm.

The contact is gone before you can even process whether you enjoyed it or not, his shocked exhale tickling your cheeks.

"What the fuck was that?" he whispers, bewildered. His bangs fall in front of his  eyes as he touches were you just were.

"Just a thank you,” you whisper back, suddenly realizing how crazy you must seem. Maybe you had misread the situation. “I shouldn’t have-”

The world moves around you.

You aren’t sure who leans in first, but his lips are pressed against you now, the icy tip of his nose buried on your cheek. The sharp nip of winter is forgotten, replaced by his canines catching your lower lip as his hands find the curve of your jaw. He pulls you in and you swear you can feel the spark between you-

and then you realize you literally do. Bakugo’s quirk sputters slightly on his lips, nothing more than a tingle and a zap, but it lingers even as he pulls away.

"Well, if you really wanna thank me..." The icy touch of his hand finding yours makes you jump.  "Keep my hands warm 'til we get there."

He squeezes tight. "Maybe on the way back too, since my gloves are ruined ‘cause of you."

You roll your eyes as you squeeze back.

“Yeah, okay.”

[cowgurrrl]

Some way some how Joel and reader in lftl are able to take each other back to their homes from before. For closure and memories. They both are just two people who miss their babies. And now they get pictures and cards from their homes. Another little piece of Sarah and Jane to go back to jackson.

Hello do you have access to my wips I was literally working on this!! I wrote this more about reader going back to their last apartment because @hier--soir has an amazing fic about Joel going back to Texas and it's absolutely gorgeous <3 anyways, I hope you enjoy!! this made me CRYYYY

Never Grew Up With You

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: Jesus Christ I haven't cried at a fic like this in a LONG time I'm genuinely exhausted

Summary: "To never see her face again is what grief is." — Euripides, translated by Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides aka this ask [1.5k]

Warnings: talks of Jane, memories, oh it's so sad

It's eerie being back in that town. It's empty, but the remnants of Outbreak Day linger in the streets— decomposed bodies, crashed cars, craters where the bombs hit. You recognize bits and pieces. The downtown area which used light up with Christmas lights and smell like funnel cake during the winter months. The church where you lied on the application form so Jane could get into daycare. Your apartment building. You stop in front of it, Joel at your side, and look up at it. 

It looks smaller than you remember it like maybe you romanticized the shithole after so many years of living in a worse shithole. Only a few windows still have glass, and you catch faded curtains flapping in the abandoned apartments. "Mommy, look!" Jane had yelled that day so you could catch the jets flying over the building. You were standing in the same area you are now. Your heart clenches, and Joel seems to feel it at the same time.

"Are you sure bout this?" He asks, and you nod. "I'll be right here with you the whole time. We can leave whenever you want." You don't answer him. You just take a deep breath and start walking toward the stairs—bullet holes and rusty, dried blood line the path up to your third-floor apartment, but other than that everything is the same. There's even still a flyer on the bulletin board advertising an apartment-wide potluck set the week after Outbreak Day. Jane wanted to go. She said her friends were going and she wanted you to meet them. You said you'd think about it.

When you reach the top of the stairs, you find your apartment door still open and immediately regret not closing it. What if there's nothing left? What if it's been raided? What if it's all destroyed? You push yourself forward until you're over the threshold and back into the life you left behind. The body of the runner who burst into your apartment that night is still there, grey and all but dust at this point. Dirty plates sit in the sink. Jane's kindergarten homework has slid off the table and onto the floor, her scribbly handwriting boring holes into you. You pick it up despite it having boot marks and ripped edges and stare down at how she wrote her name. Joel doesn't say anything, but he squeezes your shoulder and lets you know he's there.

Together, you silently move through the rooms and salvage whatever you find. In your room, you find ratty old clothes from 2003, medical textbooks, and a file full of important documents shoved under your bed. Among the papers are your tax forms, a copy of your college diploma, and Jane's birth certificate— the only physical proof that she was ever here. Jane Eloise born April 7th, 1998, to you and no one else. Somehow, the glaring absence of Matt's name on her birth certificate still makes your stomach turn. You find a few more keepsakes before moving to the living room.

Whatever might've been there has been taken or destroyed by whoever's been in the building in the last twenty years. The blankets and pillows that once lived on your couch are gone. Your TV has been smashed in. The shoes Jane always left in the middle of the floor have disappeared, probably taken by some other parent who was desperate and was too scared to think of the child who left them. You're about to walk down the hallway to the bathroom and Jane's room when something crunches under your foot. You look down, and all the air gets punched out of your chest. As gently as possible, you bend down to pick up the shattered picture frame and stare at it. 

It was a picture taken by a friend at the county fair. Jane is on your right with a half-eaten blue cotton candy in her hand and a water bottle tucked under her arm. Her hair is in a braid, and there's a big blue stain on her Princess Ariel shirt, but she looks happy. You're both smiling big, the reflection of the colorful carnival lights shining in your identical eyes. Everyone always said she looked like Matt, but you can clearly see your features reflected back to you in this picture. God, how could you have forgotten about the way her eyes crinkled when she was happy? Or how she leaned into you in public? Or how young you both were?

"What's that?" Joel asks as he walks over to you, and you meet him halfway to show him the picture, unwilling to hand it over just yet. It takes him a minute to realize what he's looking at, but when he does, he looks up to catch you staring at the picture. "'S that Jane?"

"Mhm,"

"She's beautiful," he says, and you smile. "Is that cotton candy?"

"Yeah, it was her favorite. Practically begged me to buy it for her. I'm pretty sure I overdrafted my bank account just to get it."

"How old are you in this photo?" He asks, and you furrow your brows as you think. 

"Uh, Jane looks about three or four, so I was, at least, nineteen."

"You look happy."

"And tired," you say. Both things are true, but you can't ignore the bags under your eyes or your horribly fitting clothes. You were struggling. You were alone. You were so incredibly ill-equipped and felt the weight of the world on your shoulders. And Jane... Jane is none the wiser. She's smiling. She's fed. She's loved. She's happy. Maybe you were doing a better job than you thought you were. "You know she wanted to go on the Ferris wheel?" You ask, and Joel raises his eyebrows.

"That little?" He asks, and you laugh, nodding.

"I said the same thing, but she was so determined. So, my friend got us tickets to go on it, and we went, just the two of us. But when we started going around, she started getting really scared about the height and how fast it was going. She buried her head in my arm almost the whole time, and I was stressed that she was miserable and we had wasted my friend's money, and I was so fucking tired," you say. "But when we stopped at the top, I told her to look at the sky, and she did. I pointed at the different stars and talked to her about the moon, and she calmed down. I don't know if I distracted her or if she realized how big the sky was in comparison, but when we got down, all she could talk about was how close she got to the moon. After that, we'd go out every night and look at the stars. Even snuck out of our QZ shelter after the Outbreak."

"D'you get caught?" 

"Once. I knew a FEDRA guy, and he let it go. We never got caught again." You haven't thought about Owen in years. You don't know if he's dead or alive. You don't even know if he remembers you. You're not sure if you want to know. 

You grab a few more things from her room: a teddy bear, a few shirts, and a picture of you and her on the day she was born. Being in her space again makes your head swim, and you want to stay here forever and leave as soon as possible, all at the same time. Eventually, after combing through every nook and cranny you still know, you do leave. You say a proper goodbye to the first home you shared with Jane and the memories you made there. You're silently grateful to the apartment for holding so many treasures you would've otherwise never gotten back. 

You don't know why, but you trace your steps back through one of your old routes. Joel is silent beside you and lets you lead, knowing you would never do anything to endanger him. You recount stories as you pass certain buildings or paths; he listens and asks questions about her and your shared life. Before you know it, you're on the same hill overlooking the QZ. The one where you hid with her when the Outbreak first happened. The one you sat down on and sobbed after Adam died because you had to pull yourself together before reentering. The one you buried her on. 

The tree holding her has gotten bigger, its limbs stretching to the sky and the leaves a brilliant green. Seeing it thrive makes you smile just a little before you pivot and start walking to where you know she is. The sight of a fresh bouquet on her spot stops you in your tracks and makes your breath catch. All these years, you worried she would go unremembered under that big oak tree. You worried she was alone and scared. You worried and worried and worried because that's what any good parent does. The yellow flowers protecting her prove your worries wrong. You take a deep breath and grab Joel's hand before walking over to her. 

"Hey bug," you start, fighting your tears, "This is Joel. He’s Sarah’s dad and he’s my… he’s my best friend." You squeeze Joel’s hand and take a shaky breath. "He takes care of me and I take care of him. So, you don’t have to worry about Mommy being lonely, okay? I’m gonna be just fine. You don’t have to be scared for me. I've got my people here just like you've got your people there. So, you just rest and I'll be okay." Now, you're really crying and there's no stopping it.

"I love you. I hope leaving didn't make you think otherwise, but I came back. I'll always come back because you're my baby. You'll always be my baby."

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha

[solitaire-addict]

A deep dive into Solitaire, its Characters and Relationships

Solitaire is a deep, complex and entertaining book. Once opened, it becomes very hard to put down and it is the type of book you would read multiple times, listen to the audiobook version, and create a blog fully dedicated to. Solitaire has that kind of seasonal feel like when it snows for the first time and your feet are cold no matter how many blankets you put on or you’re nose keeps running because you’re outside waiting for someone to come pick you up and you’re putting your hands in fists because they might just freeze off. Solitaire isn't romanticized winter, it's the gross parts that make people hate the cold seasons but you still like them because it still has a nice feeling to it, even though it may be the end of you. Personally I have read solitaire in every season but Solitaire can't be beat in January, when everyone is stupid depressed and there isn't a point to living anymore.

 Victoria (Tori) Spring portrays this deep depression and bitter feeling that everyone feels at some point and she is the embodiment of the term “pessimistic complex”. While being a relatable character to everyone, I've found that she really strikes a chord with the Asexual/Aromantic community. In recent events, it has become canon that she is Asexual and most suspect she is on the Aromantic spectrum which seems reasonable due to her behavior around one Micheal Holden. Micheal Holden, who is Tori’s friend and co-investigator in the Solitaire mystery, is (at first glance) an upbeat and strange character. Micheal holds the role of curious, and a bit mysterious and his and Tori’s friendship forms from the fact that they both got curious and did the exact same thing. In many ways, these two are very similar and when thrown together by some force, Tori ignores this and uses some freakish defense mechanism that (to anyone else) would drive away the opposing force, however, Micheal is not an opposing force, or any kind of force for that matter. He’s just a guy who happens to be a little strange and who ice skates and is secretly mad all the time. When Tori and Micheal first interact, Tori does not in any way want to talk to this guy, in fact i bet she would rather have thrown herself out the nearest window than exchange more than two sentences at once. Michel wants to be friends with Tori, so much so that he will not stop showing up out of nowhere even if he doesn't mean to. Keep in mind that Micheal has no friends and Tori has one friend and that isn't even going well.

 Becky (who has been Tori’s best and only friend for quite a while) is popular. Not in the sense that everyone knows her, more so that everyone knows of her and a couple extending details, this leaves her feeling alone in the world and her only support is Tori, who frankly, is not doing well in the slightest. And of course they’re drifting, not quickly but over time, like a call that gets worse in audio quality over time. When Becky seeks support from Tori and wants to share things with her, Tori is disengaged, I'm sure she doesn't mean it but that still sucks when you’re the one who needs to talk. There are many versions of the book and in the first one when Becky tells Tori that she just had sex with her almost boyfriend. Tori is disappointed, she even goes on to say that it made her respect Becky more for being a virgin up until now. Now remember that the first addition of this book was released in the early 2010’s so it's a bit desensitized and there are probably better words to put it other than not respecting her as much anymore but it's still a good example of Tori’s distance and self isolation from the rest of her public life, which brings us back to her relatable self destructive tendencies. 

When with Micheal, Tori continuously keeps him locked out of her life. When Micheal tells her that he wants to be friends, Tori goes on a tangent about how she doesnt know why he wants to be friends and says “i'm not some manically depressed psychopath” and they get into a fight that ends with michael saying “well maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath” and everyone ever is disappointed because Tori cant let people care about her. There's a point where Tori and Micheal finally accept each other as people and decide not to question one another, they both care and they both are okay with that, Micheal is there when Tori needs him and Tori is there when Micheal needs her, it's one of the most beautiful things and their friendship and care for eachother is deep and true and it's my favorite thing in the universe. When Tori is about to get killed by a firework, when she's literally standing on the edge of death, when she's sat at home after Charlie's relapse Micheal Holden is there. Micheals constant anger has noticeably taken a toll on him and he has said “i'm always angry, other emotions just overrule it” he means that Tori’s presence is the emotion that overrules, not in a cheesy love story way but in the way that when you’re having a bad day and then you go home to your bed and take an advil and drink some water, it makes you feel better. Tori is Micheals bed, Advil and water, no matter how cold the bed is, or how gross the Advil is or how unfiltered the water is. She’s still there, overriding the constantly lingering aggravation with himself. When Tori’s about to kill herself, Michael is there to save her, pull her back into reality and even though Tori isn't okay in the slightest afterwards, Micheal is still there, and they still care, even if the water is muddy.

 In between the 4 month gap between Solitaire and Heartstopper, nothing is technically canon on what happens between them but 4 months later Micheal has proposed the idea that they confirm their relationship status as girlfriend and boyfriend and this scared Tori. Not because she doesn't like him in that way, but because she doesn't want him to get bored of her. Along with Tori’s asexuality being confirmed, it's also confirmed that Tori and Micheal had sex and Tori was sent a confirmation email for her ticket for the asexual train. Charlie and Tori’s conversation about this is very touching, Charlie brings up that he once said that if Nick never wanted to have sex with him, he wouldn't want to either and it wouldn't change how he felt about Nick in any way. This is an example of why Asexuals FLOCK to Alice Osemans writing, it focuses on the emotional connection between characters, not the sex and tension between them. Charlie reassures Tori that Micheal will understand and he most definitely will not get bored of her (considering that they canonically stay together for at least like 10 more years) Tori’s fear of a labeled relationship is an important factor within the idea that Tori is on the Aromantic spectrum, as an aromantic person, when a relationship that I’m in is labeled, it stresses me out. It creates this internal fear of commitment and that might be what Tori is experiencing. At the end of the page, Tori and Micheal are shown talking probably about her being asexual. My hopes are that Tori and Michaels relationship remains unlabeled because it's very important that different types of queer relationships are shown in mainstream media, especially ones that aren't labeled or inside queer norms. There's nothing like queer erasure from other queer people.

[this-witch-writes]

I was think about steddie and that post going around about "intangible love" and the romanticism of unspoken acts of affection and the replies show how differently people react to that.

Part 1 (Show Don't Tell)

part 2, part 3

Steve Harrington's parents are distant (always emotionally and usually geographically) his only serious girlfriend wouldn't say she loved him, and most of his friendships were either surface macho things or a bunch of literal children. He loves Robin and they talk, they do, but she's not exactly mushy either. That actually is fine with her and the kids, but it's not what he's hoping for in a relationship.

Eddie’s parents said they loved him, said they wanted what was best for him, but it was just words. The person who actually loved him, who cared, who showed up when it mattered, hardly ever said much at all. Wayne knew how to make love understood. His uncle didn't have to say he loved him it was obvious with the hours he worked, how he hadn’t hesitated to make space for Eddie, to listen to him, and never ask him to change. Wayne always paid attention to his likes and dislikes, and Eddie thinks that kind is real love.

After spring break, Eddie was pleasantly shocked by the level of care Steve showed people around him, in those little actions that meant everything. Eddie gets so swept up in how Steve makes him feel that he doesn't even realise that Steve thinks that Eddie made the first move.

Steve had known he liked Eddie and tried to look out for him after spring break, but he was surprised when the guy kissed him. It was nice though, nice to be wanted, nice to be the one pursued and not doing the pursuing. It made him feel more confident than he had in a long time. He doesn't worry about the rest of it. When Eddie never wants to talk about how he feels, what him and Steve are to each other, Steve doesn't love it but he figures that Eddie just needs time.

It doesn't get better with time, it gets worse.

They've been dating for six months and Eddie wants to be over the moon. Steve is amazing and sweet and hot. They have so much fun together, but Eddie doesn't know why nothing he does is enough to show Steve that he cares. He notices the little things, favourite foods and flowers, times a joke goes too far with the kids and Eddie shuts them down. Eddie knows he's paying attention, but Steve still constantly questions it, asking how Eddie feels like he’s not bending over backwards to show it? He just wants to feel like he's enough.

Steve is lost. He can't make sense of Eddie. He's so caring, so attentive, and the way he acts... it can't just be casual to him, can it? But it took four months for Eddie to use the word boyfriend and only when repeatedly asked. He hasn't said he loves him.

Steve did.

Five months in, riding the high of Eddie saying “boyfriend” instead of using vague hand-gestures to define their relationship. Steve had been stressed from work and got soaked in the November rain only to come home to Eddie cooking him a beautiful dinner.

'I love you, Eds.'

Eddie smiled big and bright and kissed him. They kept kissing and it wasn't until the next morning that Steve realized Eddie hadn't said it back.

Steve waited a week before saying it again. Eddie seem happy to hear it, not uncomfortable, all smiles and kisses and promises to pick Steve up after work but... no I love you. Steve kept trying for a few weeks but eventually he stopped. He told himself that it was fine, he could wait, but he missed that feeling from the start, so confident that he was wanted.  

Eddie knew Steve had been a bit quiet through the winter. He knew that he was missing Robin away at college, that the kids were busy, and that the holidays were tough for a lot of people with shitty parents. But he was still blindsided when he asked what was wrong and Steve looked him in the face and asked if Eddie loved him.

Did he love him? That hurt. How could Steve even ask that?

'Nothing's ever going to be good enough for his highness, is it?' He snapped at him, determined not to show how close to crying he was. He was just so tired. He’d been working all hours trying to save up so him and Steve could leave Hawkins and it was still not enough.

Steve blinked back at his boyfriend, the second person he'd loved who just refused him this most basic part of a relationship, who just couldn't seem to choke out the words even to humour him. Heartbroken and speechless, Steve walked the rest of the way home.

The next day Eddie worried. He'd expected Steve to call that night to make up, Eddie was big enough to admit that Steve was better at reaching out first to apologise. Eddie was good at words, descriptions, stories, but putting words to the messiness of emotions, not so much. When Steve didn't call Eddie decided that he'd been too harsh. So what if Steve was a little insecure sometimes? Eddie adored everything else about him, he was allowed to have a flaw. He drove to Steve's but no one answered. He had a key though and so let himself in

Downstairs was as empty as usual but Eddie got anxious when he saw a lot of Steve's things were missing from his room. There was a note on the desk on his desk he was too scared to read. Maybe Steve had been too upset to talk and needed to write it now for Eddie to understand.

'Eddie, I nearly couldn't go, but this isn't fair to either of us. I hope you find someone someday that you love as much I love you now, someone you love enough to get past whatever's holding you back. yours, Steve.'

Eddie didn't understand at all.

-

Continue: part 2, part 3

[xo-zozo]

Do you have any headcanons about avery during thl when she was healing from the plane bombing? Like Nightmares, difficulty with limitations from her injuries while she's healing, processing all the info she learned and trauma from near death experiences, trouble sleeping because of the coma, etc. Because other than her waking up, we don't see much else even though she says it was the worst time in her life in brothers hawthorne.

this is such an interesting idea... i'd gladly do it for you <3

~ i feel like she would definitely get nightmares while she was in the coma and jameson would sit there with there while she got them (like holding her hand, kissing her on the forehead, touching her hair, etc. 🥹)

~ she would also have nightmares after the fact but i think we all knew that but i don't just mean right after i mean like in the grandest game era yk

~ i think i read a fic where it was her leg that got hurt but i'm not sure... anyway, i think that it would be hard for to do things for a little bit afterward and she would need more help with things that she used to be able to do and knowing her it would make her upset because she was so used to doing things herself (ofc jameson would be her number 1 cheerleader)

~ migraines all the time after she woke up from the coma

~ she would have trouble with everything that she learned but i feel like that would be expected considering how much she learned before the plane freaking blew up

~ the media would be really hard on her after she disappears for a while so that would be another really hard thing for her to deal with but i just KNOW my girl alisa was on that

~ most of the time she just wouldn't tell anyone how she felt because she thought that she was being dramatic about how much pain she was in

~ for a while her hands were really shaky so that would also make it hard for her to do stuff

~ she would also get sick really easily because she was so weak and so there was just a period in the winter/fall where she kept getting sick

sorry if i felt like i was romanticizing this with the averyjameson... i just can't survive one post without mentioning them ig

-zoey ☆

[waarmsalad]

Not really quick note: so ive never actually 'finished' any fics so i wasnt sure how to, this is also the first one ive posted on here, id love to have any tips even from people who dont really write, constructive critisism is always welcome. I think i stuck to the theme but im not sure lol. Ive edited most of it but some parts i only skimmed through after writing them so mistakes are probably present, anyways thanks for reading and i hope that this is enjoyable and not too goofy😭

(I love your work so much @mustainegf, thank you for the opportunity!<3)

Words: 2k

Warnings: my writing, fwb but no smut, mostly fluff, making out and a mention of smoking. I dont really think theres anything else

You noticed as you looked out the vehicle's window, intricate patters of frost decorating the glass. It was the middle of winter, and by the looks of it neither you or cliff would be trying to get anywhere else after you arrived at his place.

The changes in recent weather had been drastic. It had rained the night before, but now even the air was frozen forcing previous puddles to be formed into patches of slippery ice.

You two figured that after hitting up the grocery store, which had been before the heavy snowfall, you would hang out, watch a movie, share a smoke or get into some other suggestive activity.

You were quite content in that moment but the thought that you'd spent nights awake about itched at your mind again.

A while back Cliff had suggested to add a twist to your benevolence. "I was just thinkin' cause you're always complaining that you're not getting laid-" he  pauses to smirk. "And I'd also like to have a little fun now and then." He had previously explained that if uou were up to it, a freinds with benefits situation wouldnt be so bad.

Before you answered he made sure that you knew that he only wanted to if you were up for it, and that you could call it off at any point. "Its completely up to you, just think about it." He told you.

And you did. Of course you wanted it, or rather him, but you knew most of these sort of relationships excluded feelings. Cliff hadnt thrown in the rules yet so you asked him about them, clarifying that you were still only pondering the option.

Cliff said to you that he just wanted to discuss where boundaries lied, as well as any thoughts about the arrangement. He mentioned a few other things like being honest, which was important, but he never said anything regarding avoiding any romanticism. So you agreed.

There was this little sliver of hope deep in your heart hoping that maybe he didnt forbid those kind of feelings because he reciprocated them. However you countered with yourself that he would have just asked you out if he did, since he wasnt one to play with a person's emotions.

You opened your mouth to bring up the topic in the car, but stopped yourself. The different ways you believed he would respond forced you to change your mind.

You noticed after the first few weeks of the arrangement that cliff had been acting a little bit different. A change like that had been expected in some way by you, but he just wasn't the same. And though you knew that you should talk to him about it, the tension was currently a little weighted. You didnt feel like adding to it by asking anything that you deemed momentarily 'unnecessary.'

After a couple of minutes he pulled into the driveway, parking the car on the frozen cement with caution. The heater had previously been blasting hot air into the cab of Cliff's car. That being so, once  you opened the door and stepped into the fresh air, a harsh chill immediately encased your entire body.

Cliff quickly grabbed some of the grocery bags from the back, giving you a head start getting to the front door. Once you were inside, cliff swung the door shut, placing the bags down before beginning to shed his basic winter layers.

While you took off your own jacket, he decided to tease you, he grabbed your sides, icy fingers clawing at your covered flesh. His actions caused you to shriek. He snickered at your reaction, which drew out a scoff from your lips. "Meanie" you commented quietly. Cliff only chuckled and shook his head, smiling.

Once the two of you discarded all of your snow-packed apparel, he informed you that he was gonna grab a shit ton of blankets and haul them into the living room after he put the groceries away. "We can do whatever afterward, I just wanna get you warmed up." He winked, nudging you before dissapearing into the hallway.

You smiled, even without any cozy blankets you could feel a little bit of warmth in your heart already.  Although he was only a freind, he took care of you, which you could do by yourself easily but you needed to feel loved, as your life had been all sorts of messed up.

Suddenly remembering that he was nothing more than that; a freind, you started spiraling again. You knew you needed to finally talk to him about his difference in mood toward you, except you were intimidated by all of the possible outcomes.

As soon as you started to feel a farmiliar burn in your face from holding your tears from the confusion and longing, he staggered into the living room before you. A massive pile of blankets and quilts were stacked high in his arms. He struggled to avoid dropping any, but some dispersed onto the hardwood floor.

Luckily that made you smile before you could cry. You tried to stiffle a giggle, however failing miserably. Once he stubbed his toe on the coffee table next to the couch, you knew that was the breaking point. You bursted out laughing while he hissed in pain.

Cliff pouted, dropping all the fabric onto the loveseat. He turned around and huffed. "You're kind of mean yourself there, sweetheart." He claimed, chuckling. You only beamed at him, posing as innocent.

Feeling quite generous afterwards, you assisted in gathering the blankets and stacking them on the  couch neatly. During your time spent on making the couch look nice, your mind nagged at you once again to ask him, but you ignored your own persistence.

Cliff soon heads to the kitchen to grab the snacks and junk you had picked out for the movie, insisting that you pick what to watch while he left you in the den.

Once you finished, you sat down in front of the coffee table and looked under the tv, finding his vhs tape collection. After you sifted through the different movies for a bit, Cliff brought in a large bowl of popcorn and another small bowl of candy, a couple of drinks inside since his hands were mostly full.

"So what did you pick?" He wondered out loud. You grinned and held up the shining. He groans, placing down the bowls. "How many times have we watched that in this room alone??" He teased you.

"I just really love it, theres Shelley Duvall too" you quipped back, ignoring his faux annoyance. "And to be fair, you almost begged me to pick the movie." Cliff nodded, snickering softly. You slid the tape into the vhs player, sitting back onto the couch as soon as the beginning ads start playing.

You were sitting a little ways away from cliff on the couch. He noticed and pulled you toward him, now sitting sideways. Your legs rested over the arm of the loveseat as you flipped some of the blankets onto yourself.

About half an hour into the movie you could feel a new tension build. It had started modestly, but soon it seemed to be intolerable. You turned your neck a little ways to look at cliff, whose eyes were glued onto the screen. Regardless, you could sense that he wss struggling to pay attention to the film.

You looked back, and were on the verge of speaking up when cliff opened his mouth. "I think we should call it off." He said. He couldnt see the the sudden shock that took over your face because he was still staring straight at the TV. There was no real emotion present in his voice when he told you that, which threw you off.

You knew that he was talking about the arramgement  but you wanted to be clear. Shifting in your spot, you asked him, your tone almost more bewildered than you were. "What do you mean call it off?"

"I mean I cant do this anymore." He claimed, finally looking toward you. He winced at your slight scowl. "Thats not a reason Cliff, you said that we had to be honest." He groaned at your reminder and huffed, putting a hand over his face.

He mumbled something, but you couldnt hear him cause he spoke so quietly. "What?" You asked. This time he spoke louder. "I didnt mean for it to happen!" He stated, which confused you.

"For what to happen?" you were confused, the movie continued to play in the background as you scoffed at him again.

He sighed "Im sorry" he said quietly. "What happened Cliff?" You huffed, getting a little tired of going back and a little concerned. "What did you do?"

"I love you." He says bluntly, he was unable to look you in the eye as he scrunched his face and stood up.

You sat on the couch, no words could explain how many emotions were trying to unscramble themselves in your brain, but the gears started turning so you tried. "Cliff I-" you sputtered. "Why were you apologising before?"

He raised an eyebrow and dropped his hands to his side, your sudden calmness unnerved him. "I thought that it was a basic kind of 'rule' in these kinds of...relationships" He raised an eyebrow.

"Well you never mentioned it." You told him. He thought back to when he suggested it and nodded. "I guess I didnt but I thought that you'd-" he began ro ramble again before you cut him off.

"I love you too, cliff." God, was that a great way to shut him up at first his expression was flat. Eventually he just stood and smiled like a little kid. He did nothing until you rolled your eyes and patted the couch. "Just come here, you dumbass," you chuckled and shook your head. He obliged, pulling you even closer once he sat down.

For a moment you two just looked at eachother admiringly. You had thought Cliff was at an absolute loss of words but he proved you wrong. "Can I kiss you?" He wondered out loud. You smiled and reached your hands to hold both sides of his face, bringing him forward and allowing him to reach your lips in a soft kiss.

You had kissed Cliff before, but this time it felt different. It didnt feel rushed or cloddish. It was sensual, and a little strange. You felt as if every weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. Butterflies started stirring in your stomach, which  made you feel giggly and lovesick.

Slowly, the kisses moved on to small touches, and though it had almost been a routine as well, this too felt different for you and cliff. It felt strange, but amazing both at once.

You broke away and tucked your head into the crook if his neck, littering small kisses and nips on his skin. Cliff groaned and made little sounds every once in a while, he smiled widely, basking in the moment.

Your tounge darted out and you licked over where you had nipped, smoothing over some of the purple marks you had sucked as well.

You kissed back up his jawline to his face, planting a singular kiss on his cheek before pulling away to gaze at him again. His eyes flutter open, his grin staying as it was as he sinks into the back cushions.

He holds you by the small of your back with both hands as you straddle him. Leaning forward, you hug him. "Can we just stay like this?" You asked, feeling no urgency for anything at the moment. Cliff agreed, smiling and kissing your cheek before rubbing your back, the light pressure making you sigh happily.

He held you close. It felt good, to finally be like that with him. The tension was long dissipated and he made it clear that he was only acting strange as to not scare you away with his confession.

The only occurence that disturbed your peaceful atmosphere being a playful popcorn fight, which started because of a small tiff about the movie neither of you remembered by the time it was over.

AGHHHHH idk how anybody writes anything so fast ive been working and procrastinating on working on this for probably four or five days😭

I really hope this was okay, thank youu<3

[dudeshusband]

Ship: Mike x Pete Nelson

Words: 900

Description: Mike and Pete get a pumpkin.

Warnings: A bit of insecurity on Mike's part. But that's just me.

The circus returned back to its home base after Halloween. It had been a long spring and summer of touring the country, and soon the circus would close for the winter. Mike walked through the crunching leaves, on their way from pitching hay for the elephants. They passed their boyfriend, who was dealing cards on the Midway. His eyes lit up as he saw them, and he ran up to meet them. 

“Hi, Pete,” they said. 

“There’s a pumpkin patch, a little ways off from the circus.” 

Mike furrowed their eyebrows. “A pumpkin patch…?” 

He nodded. “Get your coat and I’ll get you one.” 

“Pete, it’s after Halloween.” 

“Make a pie out of it. I don’t know. It’s not Christmas yet.” 

Mike smiled. He seemed so adamant about it. “You know, if you want to spend time with me, you can just say so.” 

His eyes glittered in the light of the setting sun. It made Mike weak in the knees. 

“I wanna spend time with you.” 

He said it so gently, so earnestly. Mike thought they turned to jelly right there. 

“Well, I have to change,” Mike said. “I have to put something nice on.” 

“You always look nice.” 

Mike shook their head fondly. “Pete, that’s not what I meant.” 

Mike hurried off to Pete’s trailer, which they lived in at this point. They made quick work of freshening up, changing into one of their turtleneck dresses, and applying makeup. They twisted their hair into the neatest bun they could do quickly. 

Pete was waiting for them outside the door, leaning against the side of the trailer. He’d put on his jacket, and held a cigarette loosely between his lips.

“Ready?” he asked, without taking the cigarette out of his mouth. 

They nodded, and stepped down. Pete took their hand in his, and used the other to light his cigarette. He turned to them, flitting his eyes up and down their body. 

“You get all dolled up just for me?” 

Mike chuckled. “Not just for you.” 

“For the people at the pumpkin patch?” 

Mike shook their head. “What about me? Don’t I get to look good for myself?” 

“Sure you do.” 

Mike stared at their boyfriend as much as they could on their walk, without tripping. He looked ever so pretty in his blue jacket and the crisp morning air. His hand was warm compared to Mike’s which always ran cold. And, they could help but be mesmerized by his lips. When he smiled, when he talked, and when he smoked, as he was now. They often wondered if he had a similar obsession with them. 

As they walked, he glanced at them every so often, smiling gently. They wondered, too, what he was smiling at. What did he see? The hastily applied lipstick? The tired eyes? The hair sticking out of their bun? Some permanent, flawed, facet of Mike’s face? What was he romanticizing in his mind? 

Mike had gotten lost in their own head, so much so, they had no idea where they were. 

“Mike, honey, we’re here,” Pete said. He dropped his cigarette and put it out with his foot. 

Mike snapped out of their fog. “Sorry.” 

Mike looked around the pumpkin patch. It had some pumpkins still in their patch, some on carts, and a cart of non-pumpkin miscellanea. Up front there was a cart selling 10 cent hot apple cider. 

“Should we get a little one or a great big one?” Pete asked them. 

“Can we get some apple cider?” Mike asked him. 

He nodded, and led them to the apple cider cart. He ordered for them, which he was used to doing for girlfriends, and Mike didn’t see the point in correcting it. He paid, too, which Mike was still trying to get themselves used to. 

The pair sipped their cider and walked through the pumpkins. 

“We should get a small one,” Mike said. “It’ll be easier to take back and keep.” 

He nodded. 

“Also, don’t you think I should buy my own pumpkin?” 

“I don’t see why,” he said. “I’m takin’ you out. I wanted to get you one.” 

“Alright.” 

“I expect to buy you things,” he said. When Mike opened their mouth to protest, he amended, “I want to buy you things. It makes you happy. It makes me feel good.” 

He squeezed their hand gently. 

“Now, get yourself a pumpkin. Make us both happy.” 

Mike got one of the smallest pumpkins in the patch, and showed it to their boyfriend. 

“Here,” they said. 

“That’s barely a pumpkin!” he exclaimed, with some amusement. “That’s a kid pumpkin.” 

“It’s done growing,” Mike said. 

He took the pumpkin in his big hands. “It makes me feel like a giant.” 

Mike chuckled. “That’s the one. Perfect.”

Pete shook his head, but still smiled at them. He walked to the front, and gave the owner some money out of his wallet. Once the pumpkin was theirs, he returned back to Mike, and handed it to them. Then, he took their other hand. 

“Ready?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Mike said. “It’s cold out here.” 

Pete swung his jacket off, and put it over Mike’s shoulders. 

“Hey, you only have that polo on, I have this turtleneck dress.” 

He smiled. “I can handle it.” 

Mike snuggled up to him as they walked. It was a bit awkward, but they soon figured it out, and made their way back to the circus. 

[almostsomewheremaybe]

Once Upon a time in Toronto

In late 2016, I was fresh off probation, and invited my friends to roadtrip up to Toronto with me for New Year’s Eve. I wanted to be out of the country (never had been) and not sober to celebrate my freedom. I had gone to see a special person, too, but everything was special back then.

The morning of New Years Day, me (very hungover) and my friends were sitting in traffic. I saw an unhoused man pan-handling. Before I could reach into my pocket for spare change, another man in a luxury car physically shoo’d the unhoused man away. I immediately hopped out of the car, and ran over to his defense. I flicked off the luxury car as it jolted away, and gave the man what little money I had.

“Did you have a good New Years?” He asked sweetly.

It took me back a bit. He had just been publicly humiliated. I was furious and embarrassed for him. It was cold that morning, and certainly freezing last night, and he’s asking me how my New Years was?

I said, “I did,” and asked him how his had been.

“I spent it under a bridge with the person I love.” He grinned, “So it was good.”

He gestured his head back behind him. I looked over his shoulder, and saw an unhoused woman lounging atop a cushion-less, worn-down couch. The couch was on a raised platform, so the effect was something like a lioness resting on a tall rock. The sun was shining on her, and she wore dark shades. Suddenly it didn’t feel so cold.

I looked at him one last time, and he smiled in unfamiliar and boundless riches. And this person he loved, relishing in her winter rays, and this thirty second interaction all left me feeling so awe-struck, and incomplete, and inconsolable for months after.

To this day I think about it. I think about what a love like that can do, even (especially) in the “worst” of circumstances. It broke something in me, and healed something else. I don’t want to romanticize the housing crisis, or any of the other plagues unhoused people experience, but something in me was forever changed during that thirty second interaction. Love is the miracle of miracles in our shameful indifferent age, and even its slightest glimmer is enough salvation for the whole world a hundred times over.

— Once Upon a Time in Toronto I discovered what priceless really means

[alrightbuckaroo]

I'm not sure if you're still doing these, but 22 for the Spotify Wrapped Drabbles please 💜

Hello Dalawa! That'll be The Visit (She Was Here) by The Cyrkle (a fun little [now defunct] sunshine pop band from the mid 60s!) It's a bit of angsty song despite the sound so I hope you don't mind a little heartache that also ended up being much longer than I planned it to be:

Carlos' fingers are interlocked with TK's; they hold onto one another as if that's what their hands were made for.

Carlos has never been more in love and it scares him. Each and every day, Carlos finds himself falling that much harder and he's worried that one day he'll reach the ground and never know how to get up again.

Then TK will casually tell him something that's anything but casual, like, "I never liked that shade of yellow until I saw it on you," or "I never understood my mother's favorite song but then I met you," or "I dreamt about you last night, I can't believe I get to wake up to the real thing," and just like that, Carlos is no longer scared because this is a man who loves him just as much as he does him.

At the moment, they're walking through the farmer's market and making ridiculous puns that no one but them will find funny. That's fine though, who needs the rest of the world when the embodiment of your world is standing right next to you.

After leaving the farmer's market, they go home. Carlos tells TK he can call it Carlos' apartment but TK says he likes the way 'home' rolls off the tongue. As Carlos opens the front door, he hears the faintest sound of a beep, but chooses to ignore it.

Once dinner is finished, they both get ready for bed while listening to Neil Young's Harvest Moon. TK's a romantic so he loves romanticizing the mundane and Carlos loves letting him. As Carlos spits out his toothpaste, he hears that fainting beeping once again, but this time it's the tiniest bit louder

Now, they're in bed, treating the silence as their favorite song. Carlos is rubbing his thumb across the ridges of TK's knuckles, holding on because all he ever wants to do is hold TK's hand.

"I feel like I've dreamed you up," Carlos whispers, softly and tender. He presses an even more tender kiss to TK's knuckles and TK begins to chuckle. Carlos' eyebrows knit together at the sound, and he swears he can hear that beeping again.

"That's because you did, baby," TK pulls his hand away from Carlos' and leaves a trail of heartache in its wake. He runs his fingers through Carlos' curls but his fingers feel lighter than ever; almost as if he's not there.

"What?" Carlos can hear that incessant beeping start to get louder.

"You dreamed me up," TK explains, his touch feeling akin to the feather, it's there, but barely just. "I'm not here."

"But I need you to be," Carlos argues, reaching up to grab onto TK's hand but when he does, it's like TK's hand becomes sand in his palm; grains flowing through the spaces between his fingers.

Carlos sits up in the bed, trying to ignore that damn beeping, and he waits for TK to sit up and join him. He waits for TK to sit up and say that he's playing some cruel practical joke even if he's not known for playing them ever before.

Instead, TK continues lying down, looking up at Carlos with dewy emerald eyes and a sympathetic smile. "It's time to wake up, baby."

Carlos jumps awake, propelling himself from the sheets and breathing erratically. He looks over to the nightstand, grabs his phone and puts an end to the incessant beeping.

He looks to the other side of him and sees that one half of the bed is still made. He sighs when he remembers; this is what he was scared of.

He wakes up, goes through his morning routine in a bout of silence that seems especially loud. He listens to the weatherman say that there's winter storm coming and Carlos thinks it's fitting, he's in hell so why not have it freeze over.

He makes breakfast for one before going to work; after work, he comes home and has dinner for one.

Later, as he's showering, Neil Young's Harvest Moon begins to play through the speaker and Carlos couldn't be in more of a hurry to try and change to the next track.

Now, he's in bed, waiting to go to sleep and scared that when he starts dreaming, he's going to do it all over again.

send me a number 1-100 and i will try to write a short drabble based off whatever song that corresponds to in my spotify wrapped - here's #63

[hiding-in-the-vault]

A bit of a random question today, but I’m curious. What’s your favorite season? And is it because of the weather, the holidays, the traveling/scheduling going on for you that time of year? Or something else?

-🐝

RIGHT NOW, BABBEEYYY

I am thriving in this season. Anyone seen posting photos of snow in any of my discord servers has had to put up with me aggressively romanticizing it. I looovve the winter holidays. SNOW and LIGHTS and hot chocolate and cozy gloves and boots and scarves <3 <3 <3 FIREPLACES!!! I just love the vibes

I am of a warmer climate™ that doesnt get snow, so I am a little bit crazy about it. just a tad. Also my tolerance for cold is Not Great, so I love everything besides the early mornings when I have to wait for my car to heat up,,

[acnhconfessions]

i want a game thats kind of, mostly like acnh with all its customization and yes the fact you can keep the villagers hostage bc im evil like that. but with all the charm and coziness that acnl seems to have. listening to the music from that game or looking at screenshots from the game, i get this overwhelming cozy feeling of both like, a warm summer night and a festive winter day. i never got to play it bc i was still tiny when it came out and then when i got interested in ac they stopped selling acnl, also i have no clue how to use an emulator lol.

for some reason it reminds me of like, falling asleep mid-day while reading and laying in the sun. or like, going out for a walk while its raining and seeing all the worms start to come out of the dirt. or just going about your day completely normal until you see 1 little thing and youre suddenly transported back into childhood as nostalgia washes over you. it feels like buying yourself a little snack after work, or like making dinner using vegetables you grew yourself. like home brewed coffee. nl tastes mostly sweet but with a bit of bitterness and saltiness. nl would taste like toast with jam on it.

of course, thats just a romanticized version of it but comparing that with the real experience i have with acnh is just kind of... i know acnh seems to be the most hated game at the moment but honestly sometimes it feels like chore. some days i dont even talk to my villagers and just go straight to the dlc. the flowers multiply too fast and its really bothering if you only want a certain flower color or they spread so much theres not enough room to place things. i use my house as more of a storage unit than something to decorate. it feels... inorganic, far too sanitized (and thats coming from a germaphobe). if i were to compare how thinking of it right now makes me feel and compare that to how just looking at acnl makes me feel its like...

having a job thats technically easy but draining, and then after a long day you see a motivational poster as you leave. feels like throwing your old clothes in the trash instead of the thrift store. its like those shitty 5 minute crafts with the incomprehensible script. its like a starbucks or dunkin donuts, its not bad tasting but you would only get it on your way to work, you wouldnt sit down at the coffee shop and eat there. it feels like having to pay $4 for 2 tomatoes. so... it just feels corporate and clean. not hating if youre all about that acnh capitalism life!!! it just doesnt feel right. animal crossing is supposed to be like, THE cozy game but nh does not feel cozy.

idk, maybe pocket camp is that game? its a mobile but it came out inbetween nl and nh, im just not sure if i wanna spend date on that

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #7: Intoxicating Waters

@franzliszt-official is still asleep and we feel kind of exhausted since yesterday. ;)

Time for a little romantic walk along the bonny Rhine’s shores.

Oh, Father Rhine. They were all here. Turner, Byron, Goethe...and of course Franz. He arrived incognito with George Sand at Nonnenwerth (Mrs. von Cordier, the wife of the owner of the inn on the island at the time, wrote: “My son Emil reproached me and pointed out the peculiarity of the mutual relationship between the two famous guests.”)

Yes, we can well imagine the “peculiarity”. Best friends with benefits. Never mind. A little later, Marie D'Agoult joined them and Franz spent his “Liebestraum” with her here in seclusion (as best he could, once it was clear who had checked in, everyone wanted to have a look, of course). We drowned her in the Rhine in yesterday's song already, but we have to take up the cudgels for Marie. She must have had something, otherwise she wouldn't have given three children to him. The relationship between Franz and Marie was accompanied by countless ups and downs, her jealousy and her depression. If Marie had stayed by Franz's side, Cosima probably wouldn't have become so caustic. (Well, we'd definitely rather be Team Marie than Team  Pukey-Caroline).

But we digress: This is where Franz spent his last happy summer before Lola Montez came into his life. Regardless of whether something was going on or not. It was the end of Marie and Franz. (I would have ended it there too. Lola, yo. We even wrote a song about this episode.)

After 3 hours of trying in vain to capture a bit of Rhine romanticism in the lyrics, we got stuck again with Liszt himself. Why wrestle him away when he has already revealed all the secrets of his heart himself. I was listening to the elegy “Die Zelle auf Nonnenwerth” (dedicated to Marie) about 20 times in a row, with and without the text by Lichnowsky. Both are beautiful on their own. Together, unfortunately, horrible. There is an incredible amount of emotion in both, together they kind of fight against each other. So we brazenly broke down Franzen's Am/Fm/C/E/A/E/Am/A/C#/A  -scheme to more C#m/ B/ A /F#m , continued on from this (oh, I can hear the master writhing in his grave) and placed the enchanting verse in the foreground, which really beautifully reflects the autumnal Rolandsbogen outside my window. Oh, the German Gauen! We should use the word „Gauen“ more oftly. German can be beautiful at times, you know. It’s not always Tschechische Streichholzschächtelchen.

I had already written a lot about Nonnenwerth and its history up today in an earlier post. I actually live directly opposite oft he island. And yesterday I marched down to the Rhine (with my other Hungarian lover, Esterházy Ferenc Kunibert III (aka Kuni Kuvasz) to photograph this beautiful (now unreachable) piece of the Rhine just for you all. Every morning & evening I see the same sky that Marie and Franz must have seen - and I understand why they found it so incredibly beautiful here ;) Someday, someday I too will embrace the Liszt-Plantane on the island. (Quote from a friend who went to school over there: “What thing?”)

Lyrics: Ah, now rises the solitary cloister cell

From the water's waves,

And in my pain I see

That the cell is a stranger to my heart.

Not the castles, not the vineyards

Have bestowed their attractions upon it

Not the wondrous location,

Not Roland and his legend,

Not the cradle of German counties

That I may gaze upon from here;

For the chilly winds of autumn

And winter's cold crust of ice

Have knocked [on my door]. 

She had to flee,

[She] who conferred magic

Upon this cell, which is held embraced

By the Rhine with loving concern.

If I am to bear this pain alone,

Alone to lament with the cell,

Shall hope incline itself to me,

Should my songs cease.

This, the last of my songs

Calls to you:  Return, return!

[lucysarah-c]

So what are you unpopular opinions about your fic "the holy ground"

I'm re-reading it , you have a great sense of humour really really, I love it

Hi, dear! How are you? First of all, thank you so much for stopping by and for revisiting HG!

Hmm... unpopular opinions? Can an author have unpopular opinions about her own work? Haha. Anyways, I guess I have a certain point of view on a few relationships that might not be everybody's take on it.

Firstly, and I dare to think this is the one I've talked about the most, for me— and I repeat, for me— Twiggy (or MC, the reader, or Y/N) was also disloyal to Erwin. What she did with Levi during winter break could be considered infidelity. This is more of a personal take on what an individual considers "infidelity" or "not" in a relationship. I personally believe that a relationship stands until both parties involved are aware of the "end" of that relationship. Maybe they were not on the best terms, but implying that you're very angry with your partner, as Twiggy did to Erwin, doesn't necessarily mean it's over. Maybe the other person doesn't know it's over for real, and therefore, for Erwin, the relationship finished when she came back from winter break. Also, this is a personal take, but I believe that just because someone did something horrible or wrong to you in multiple situations in life, that's not a free pass to do the same or something wrong too. Two wrongs don't make a right, so to speak. So, at least for me morally, just because Erwin was disloyal doesn't give Twiggy a green light to be disloyal too. Because, if that's the case, then the only limit stopping you from not cheating is simply not being the first one to commit infidelity?

Probably my other unpopular opinion is that Nanaba was kinda right, lmao. I mean, if I had a friend who is a little bit naive, has some issues romanticizing certain aspects of her life that she shouldn't, just came out of a very hurtful experience, and decides to, in less than two months, get into a new relationship with a dude I know absolutely nothing about... I would also think he's taking advantage of her, lmao. Plus, Nanaba may not be "right" all the time, but if a cheerful friend suddenly doesn't spend time with us anymore, disappears, does things she usually wouldn't do... I'd also think this "new guy" is manipulating her and isolating her to hold the last word in everything. It's a very common symptom of dating a manipulator when you isolate yourself; the manipulator needs to hold the one and only version of the story. Of course, we, as readers, know that Levi isn't like that or hurting Twiggy, but Nanaba doesn't know that.

Third, Twiggy has serious communication issues, and one reason her relationship with Erwin didn't work out is because of this. Of course, a lot of things were wrong in that relationship, but Twiggy didn't help, and also, most of the issues she had with Levi as a couple are... the same ones she had with Erwin, lmao. Expecting someone to read your mind isn't very healthy relationship advice. She told Erwin "Go, I don't mind it" and then was offended that he did exactly that, lmao. Erwin asked a million times about the team, and she lied about it a million and one times. She never told Erwin about having asthma and obviously struggling with it. Instead of telling him that hanging out with his friends made her insecure because Marie would be there, she held the struggle for like six months and brought it up many months later. She never confessed to suffering. Not trying to play devil's advocate, but setting aside Erwin's infidelity, the dude probably thinks, "Everything was somehow okay until now; those months were the worst months of her life. How was I supposed to know if she didn't tell me? I don't read minds!" There's a very subtle fact that I like, and that is Erwin mentions multiple times that he's into girls with "long hair," Marie has long hair. He mentions it in a spin-off and, also when he and Twiggy are alone at the office; he unties her hair and plays with it. Erwin wanting her to look "older" and "short hair" was something that Twiggy invented in her head, lmao, nobody told her that, those were her own insecurities talking, not Erwin's tastes.

Finally, Levi is also a man of that "society," and he has a lot of toxic traits, haha. He's a sunshine, but he's not perfect. For example, he can be very possessive and controlling. Obviously, considering the options of that period of time, he's Mr. Woke and open-minded, and he's a great option. But that doesn't take away the rest... we forgive him, though, because Levi is Levi, lmao.

I think that's it! Sorry for the rambling! Hope this was okay! Feel free to let me know YOUR unpopular opinions, lol. Thank you so much for saying that you enjoy my sense of humor! Delivered to you from the "south," haha. Argentinian humor is acid, sassy, and eloquent, I dare to say.

Have a lovely day and take care of yourself! Lots of love!