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ohmybueckers · 4 hours ago

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Never Strangers: Chapter Three

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: binge drinking, I think that’s it???

Authors Note: heyyyyy guys. Sorry this chapter took a hot second to come out and sorry it’s a lot more filler than other chapters - a LOT more was supposed to happen in this one, but I realized I could cut them into two and get this one posted faster. Which means 1. chapter four will come out a lot quicker than this one did and 2. it will be a lot more exciting than this one (based on the ending you can see why). anyways xoxo enjoy!

“No fucking way!”

Brooke braced herself on our kitchen counter, examined my phone like she had never seen one before. I was very aware of the fact my behead was still intact and I hadn’t even washed my face this morning, but I knew Brooke would classify this as an emergency that needed attending to ASAP.

“There’s no way,” I groan, wondering how my mission of avoiding Paige and all feelings associated with her at all cost had blown up in my face less than twenty four hours after getting here. “How does she even know?”

Brooke looked equally puzzled, her perfectly shaped eyebrows furrowing before her posture straightened comically fast like a puppet. She shouted, “Adria!”

I was still confused, now even more so. “What?”

“Her story from last night must have gotten to KK, which somehow made it to Paige.”

In recent years I have become what my friends have lovingly referred to as “chronically offline” - it had to have at least been 2 days since I had opened Instagram, and I certainly didn’t follow the younger girl last night. Safe to say I had zero clue what she was referring to. “What story?”

Brooke grabbed her phone from the kitchen countertop, typing quickly before shoving her phone back in my face. Sure enough, Brooke and I were the stars of the story, both holding our glasses and wearing big smiles (certainly a symptom of the cheap wine). How Adria managed to find my account to tag me, I was not sure. All I knew is that Paige most likely saw it, and that a shameful part of me was at least a little happy that I looked good in the photo.

There was certainly no erasing Paige’s memory, so this text was mine to tackle. “Alright, how do I even respond to this?”

From the way Brooke looked at me, you would think I just suggested transferring again. “Respond? You’re kidding, right?”

I shrug, not exactly enthused by the idea of interacting with Paige on my first full day, but not enjoying the alternative either. “I mean, she knows now. It’s kinda rude to not say anything, isn’t it?”

“What’s rude is talking to a girl as if she’s your girlfriend, treating her like your girlfriend, and then disappearing out of nowhere and lying to her about it. You know exactly why she’s trying to hit you up again,” Brooke grabs my shoulder with care, a gesture I leaned into, “If she thinks you’re easy enough to let her in again, you gotta show her she’s dead wrong.”

My mind felt like it was destroying itself trying to figure out the truth. Part of me wanted to listen to Brooke, who had never once led me astray in her advice and had enough experience with fuck boys to know how they tick - even if the fuckboy in question was actually a girl. Everything she was saying matched the image I had built up about Paige in my head for years.

Once my heartbreak molded into anger, it became a hell of a lot easier to get over Paige, at least enough to date other people at Minnesota. Anger became comfortable for me - except the occasional nights I spent alone in my dorm, looking back at old photos I couldn’t bring myself to delete permanently from my ICloud. Nights where I wondered if I actually had it all wrong, and if somehow I let myself get too comfortable hating Paige to consider any alternative to what was my truth. Was it pathetic to hold on to a grudge from over three years ago? I really didn’t know sometimes.

I shut my phone off, reassuring Brooke that I was not going to fall back into Paige, which she seemed to accept fairly easily. Brooke ultimately just wants what’s best for me, and the last thing I wanted was for her to spend her last year at UConn worried about me. She had the LSAT to focus on, not my situation with my ex.

Which is why I conveniently forgot to inform her when I decided to respond to Paige that night, waiting until the sun had set and nearly twenty four hours had passed before sending a simple “yes”, throwing my phone on my bed and taking a long shower before I could decide I made a grave mistake.

———-

The first day of classes came quick, which I was thankful for - there’s only so much time a girl can spend in her poorly air conditioned apartment, and it’s not like Storrs had that much going on when school was not in session. What I was not thankful for was my packed Monday schedule, starting with an 8am economics lecture that I wouldn’t have taken if it wasn’t the last one available to satisfy a requirement, and ending with general chemistry (again, would not take if I didn’t need to squeeze a science credit in).

If my 3 alarms weren’t enough to wake me up, I could rely on the sun blazing through my apartment at 5:30AM. After making a mental note to finally order some curtains, my full morning routine commenced, the one I saved for special occasions (or for when I simply could not fall back asleep): 20 minutes of pilates, followed by a citrus scented shower, a full makeup routine, and styling my nearly black hair in loose curls.

By 7:30 I was ready to begin my walk to the business school, smoothing out my floral sundress and hoping it would instill some confidence in me. I would probably lean back into wearing jeans within the next week, but I still had some belief in my mom’s insistence that dressing well on any first day or impression mattered. I guess it did make me feel pretty, in a “belongs more on a Hollister catalogue than a college campus” kinda way. The dress did not fix the way my my first day nerves seemed to wreak havoc on my body, causing me to barely shove a protein bar down my throat before my body decided that was all the breakfast it could handle.

If I were still in Minnesota, my walk to classes would have been a whole lot louder. It was not often I had a commute where I didn’t curse the incompetence of Minnesota drivers. This was not the case in Storrs, partially because there were no drivers. Aside from the shuttle that passed me as I turned onto Alumni Drive, the only sound to accompany me was Beyoncé serenading me through my headphones. While Minnesota was simply a college with a large city unrelated to it, it was evident that Storrs would be almost nonexistent without UConn - if Minnesota was a city school, this felt almost like summer camp in comparison.

I didn’t know exactly what to make of it yet, but I promised myself I would keep an open mind. I had to. There was no turning back now.

———-

The day ended up being just as exhausting as I anticipated, potentially even more so. I’m used to liking first days. The idea of a new start each semester usually feels exciting, but this time I may have bit off more than I can chew. Syllabus week at Minnesota was a breeze, my calendar filled with classes where we just went over standard course expectations followed by frat parties I pretended to have interest in. The second my economics professor began lecturing after covering the syllabus for a measly 10 minutes, I knew he did not roll that way.

I genuinely have no idea how I made it through my high school schedule every day: multiple AP classes, followed by an afternoon job tutoring middle schoolers, with mock trial practice shortly after. It’s a miracle I found time to actually have a social life. Clearly my stamina had depleted severely, as by the time I stepped into my history discussion (seriously, who holds discussion when there isn’t anything to discuss yet), I had already made an emergency stop for coffee and was contemplating whether it was possible to take a nap in my thirty minute passing period before my chemistry lecture.

I made quick stop in the bathroom to fix my mascara and ensure the concealer under my eyes wasn’t crumbling (it was). Leave it to a hot September day and a bathroom with yellow tinted lighting to deplete my confidence: my once voluminous curls fell flat to my face, frizz accumulating at the roots. My concealer which had been matched to fit my warm skin tone now made me appear sallow, and my eyes were not fooling anyone - I was truly, undoubtedly tired. Not much I could do at this point other than use a generous amount of travel size dry shampoo, wipe the remnants of my mascara from under my eyes, and hope that the lighting in my discussion wasn’t as harsh.

I stepped into the classroom and was quickly overwhelmed by the size of it - not because it was too big, but because it was intimately tiny. I had been comfortable in my two previous classes, the large lecture halls allowing me to fade a little into anonymity - just another body struggling to stay awake as my professor explains the importance of studying economic law in the most monotonous tone possible. Looking at the long fake wood table and the twelve chairs, four of which were filled, I realized my streak of avoiding introductions had ended.

After a quick scan, I chose to set my stuff down next to the person who scared me the least: a tall girl with pin straight long black hair, dressed in black baggy cargo pants and an oversized SZA shirt, complete with silver rings on her fingers which were currently in use scrolling her laptop. I offered a customary closed mouth smile as I sat down and set my book bag down on the table.

There was a short pause where the only sound to hit my ears was the hum of the far too harsh overhead lighting as I took out my laptop, before I heard a deep voice ask, “long day, huh?”

As I turned to face the girl and processed her statement, it was evident that my attempt at looking put together was no longer working, especially now that the humidity had done a number on my hair. To be fair, I did feel like I was about to crash. “Tell me about it,” I replied, face flushed. I began to wonder if I should have sat next to the frat boy who was scrolling on UConn’s barstool account instead.

Maybe she took pity on how embarrassed I looked, because the smirk was erased from her tanned face and was replaced by a look of sympathy. “Hey, I don’t blame you. My 8AM econ lecture was brutal.”

The gears turned in my brain before I realized just what she had said. “Wait, which econ class?” After the taller girl recited a number from the schedule on her lock screen, I grinned. “We’re in the same lecture!”

“I cannot believe he would teach that much content on the first day.” She rolled her brown eyes, “Ok, let me guess. History and economics classes, leather planner… you’re pre-law, aren’t you?”

I mean, she technically wasn’t completely wrong. “Yes?”

“Then why haven’t I seen you try out for mock trial?” She asked, a perfectly shaped brow raised high and the Colgate smile smirk returning to her face. Her voice was low and teasing - definitely the flirty personality type. I could recognize it all too well.

Not wanting to explain my long and complicated history with the organization, I settled for the easy answer. “I just transferred here.”

“Well, we’ll be at the org fair if you want to sign up for a tryout spot,” She smiled, “Just tell them that Alex sent you.”

“Going to take a wild guess here and assume you’re Alex,” I quipped, though I will admit the effort did bring a small smile to my face. “I’m Maya.”

“See! I can already tell you’re clever enough for us,” Alex joked, a ring clad hand bracing her head on the table as she stared at me. I noticed the way she scanned me, her eyes falling down to the v neck of my dress before tracing back up to my smile. I suddenly felt the need to smooth out the bottom of my dress against my legs, my hands feeling very sweaty.

Before I could respond, the TA announced the start of the period, and both of our heads turned to the front. The rest of discussion was spent typing notes on when my paper was due and what constitutes academic dishonesty, all while trying to ignore the way the girl next to me kept shooting looks my way.

————

The one benefit of my packed Monday/Wednesday schedule was that my weekend was essentially four days long. I had two classes on Thursday, both criminally early, but it meant that I was done by noon and ready to enjoy a few days with nothing on my agenda… at least once I finished all of my assignments my professors had mercilessly assigned on the first week.

A groan left my lips for what had to have been the third time in ten minutes as my eyes squinted to make out my general chemistry textbook. I had read the same paragraph around 5 times now, and each time I seemed to understand it less. Even though Adria invited me to study with her on the patio of her favorite coffee shop, I was sure she was about to tell me to leave. “I don’t know how I did AP Chem in high school, this is like a whole other language to me now.”

Adria laughed, looking up from her organic chemistry book (the contents of which I’m pretty sure would give me an aneurysm). “Not a STEM girl?”

“Definitely not a STEM girl,” I shook my head, unsure why the version of me who picked her schedule over the summer decided taking a notorious weed out course was a great idea. Taking a quick sip of my matcha, I added, “But I don’t know if I’m necessarily a law girl either. Been a real pain trying to figure it all out.”

“You will, I promise. Besides, I can always tutor you,” Adria reassured me softly, a gesture that would be a lot sweeter if there wasn’t a tiny voice in the back of my head nagging me for needing a pep talk from someone so much younger than me. If Adria can have everything figured out, why can’t I? “Enjoying UConn so far though?”

“Yeah, it’s been okay! I’ve met some nice people in my classes,” I think about how Alex quickly spotted me yesterday morning in lecture and gestured to have me sit with her and her mock trial friends. Turns out sitting through an 8AM lecture on law and economics was a lot easier when you had a friend next to you. “I think Brooke wants to go to bars this weekend though, and I just know the lines are going to be awful.”

Adria lit up at this. “There’s a party being thrown by members of the mens basketball team tomorrow - someone basically rented out Huskies. I got access to one over the summer and it was a ton of fun - you should come!”

My mouth opened, trying to form a response. On one hand, it’s not like I had any concrete plans yet, and staying in on the first weekend after classes just felt wrong. But the words basketball rung in my ears like an unwelcome echo. Brooke’s warning that Paige was everywhere on campus rung true already, already overhearing her name in conversations more times than I could count. Seeing her and possibly talking to her? That was a whole other ball game, one that I weren’t sure I was ready to play. It wasn’t even necessarily that I wasn’t over her yet, but rather that we hadn’t spoken beyond a couple of short text exchanges in years (the most recent of which Paige hadn’t even responded to). Running into her was bound to be awkward, and I was determined to avoid the discomfort.

“Oh Adria, I don’t know…”

Adria cut me off, her voice insistent and almost desperate. “Please come. Brooke usually ends up leaving with some guy and I don’t want to be alone. All of my other friends can’t come, they have to be dry for sorority rush.”

I scoffed, though there’s no bite as I joke, “So you’re saying I’m your last option?”

“I’m saying I saved the best for last,” Adria gave a sheepish shrug. “If it helps change your mind at all, the women’s team won’t be there. KK said they were all going to Ted’s.”

I knew that there was no point of basing my choices at UConn based on whether or not I could run into Paige, but I would be lying if I said the reassurance wasn’t helpful. “I guess I could be convinced.”

Adria clapped, her smile big enough that agreeing already felt like the correct decision. “You won’t regret it, I promise. Pregame at yours?”

————

If there’s one thing I learned after two years going to college in the midwest, it’s how to throw a damn good pregame.

I felt the bass of my music from my JBL speaker course through my body as I set a shot glass back down on the faux granite countertop, wincing as the cheap tequila flowed down my throat. Brooke, Adria, and Brooke’s friend Marley stared at me, a mix of both amazement and slight concern on their face. On nights out, I have been known to pregame heavy, especially nights where I don’t know most people there. For one, it means I spend less money, plus it gives me some much needed extroversion to make it through the night.

“Damn girl, I did not know you could drink like that,” Brooke whistled, sipping on her High Noon tenderly. Her and Marley had other plans for the night, some frat event. Brooke claimed the only reason she would be caught dead at a frat as a senior is because Marley’s boyfriend was the president and so they got special treatment, but I had my suspicions she might have a frat crush of her own.

I felt the buzz as the four of us left our apartment, Adria and I running to catch our bus in order to avoid the thirty minute walk. In my alcohol induced giddiness, I noted how the sky faded from a bright blue into a mosaic of purples, pinks and yellows as the sun set over the lush trees. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adria’s phone face me as I gripped the pole, looking out the window of our bus with the amazement of a kid in a candy store. I had spent the past week unsure of what to make of Storrs, but it felt almost romanticized in this moment.

Unfortunately, the picturesque moment did not carry into Huskies, an establishment that was far more of a restaurant than a true bar. A tennis game played over the TV, paired with the speakers blasting Drake as we were surrounded by a sea of girls with bleach and tones and Princess Polly crop tops. The basketball players seemed almost allergic to mingling with their invitees: aside from one or two attempting to chat up one of the girls, they all stood at their own table sipping beers and looking like they would rather be anywhere else.

Adria ordered us drinks as I snagged us a table. Soon enough we stood side by side, sipping on Captain Morgan and Coke and a tequila sunrise respectively, unsure of what to make of what we were seeing. “It was a lot more exciting over the summer, I swear,” Adria looked apologetic, “Maybe it’s just one of those things where we have to get drunker?”

I was making a mental note to take two Tylenol before bed for the sake of my tomorrow morning self when a man’s voice emerged from the crowd.

“Adria, you made it!” A pale man with floppy brown hair and impossibly long legs emerged, grin on his face as he wrapped Adria in a side hug. She returned the hug and the smile while brushing a braid away from her face, though hers seemed more forced. She finally pulled away when he began rubbing her arm, her face lighting up upon making eye contact with me.

“This is my friend Maya, she just transferred here.”

He grinned, reaching a hand out to shake hers with a firm grip. “Hey, I’m Noah. You made a good choice!”

“He plays for the team, I think he might be a bit biased,” Adria remarks, earning her a shocked look from her friend who quickly turned his attention away from me and onto her.

“Me and some of the guys were going to play some darts, you wanna be my partner? I’m sure we can find a partner for Maya as well,” Noah gestures to me without turning his head, as though I am an afterthought. While it’s not like I’m dying to play drinking games with a group of NBA hopefuls, it wouldn’t hurt to at least act like I’m there.

Adria clearly did not want to play as well, as she stuttered out some half-assed excuse. “I think we’ll stay here! Don’t want to risk, um, losing this table.”

Losing this table? Looks like I also needed to make a note to teach Adria how to lie. It was beyond obvious that Noah wasn’t buying it, but I guess he was choosing not to be confrontational. With a cough, he replied. “Right, um, well I’ll catch up with you later tonight then!”

The second he was well out of earshot (not that far, considering the volume they were playing Passionfruit at), my interrogation began. “Who was that?”

Adria looked down at her drink, looking uncharacteristically unconfident. “That was my in to this bar. We met over the summer.”

I nodded, watching as Noah stopped to chat with a mix of guys and girls under the flashing blue and pink lights. “Well I’m pretty sure he wants to get with you.”

“Oh trust me, he’s tried.” Adria deadpanned, evoking a laugh from my glossed lips. “He’s still a good guy, and I like being his friend. But I’m not into him like that.”

“Is it KK?”

Adria bit her bottom lip, and for a moment I feared I had gone too far, like we weren’t quite at the point in our friendship where that wouldn’t be a sensitive subject. I was ready to retract my question when she spoke softly. “We’re not exclusive… at least I don’t think so. I haven’t been with anyone else, but who knows if she has.”

Man, Adria really liked this girl. Some part of me was thankful to give some advice to her for once, although it’s not like my history gives me the authority to give relationship advice. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”

“Absolutely not.” She shook her head, her eyes wide. “I’m way too scared to hear the answer.”

I felt a pang in my chest, relating to that feeling all too well. I’ve always had a tendency to protect my peace too hard, avoid asking questions to escape conflict - through the years, I’ve discovered it almost never ends well. “But do you think you might be hurting yourself more by not knowing?”

Adria took a pause, staring off as Noah and his friends began frat flicking to some song that did not warrant that at all. “I am not drunk enough to think about that right now.”

We both laughed, silently agreeing to down the remainder of our drinks at the same time. The ice had melted well with the remainder of my sunrise, dulling the burn of the tequila. This was probably a good thing - I’m pretty sure my tolerance was lowered over the summer, because I felt my body get warmer than anticipated despite the air conditioning working overtime. Adria set her drink down on the table, turning to me once more. From the glint in her eye, I knew she was about to return my line of questioning. “What about you? Are you looking to get set up, because I’m sure that’s the reason those guys invited all of us here in the first place.”

“First of all, I’m gay,” I began, examining the crowd in front of me. “I’ve been here like a week, haven’t really had the time to think about hooking up with anyone.”

“Well, what’s your type?”

I thought for a moment about my (limited) history. “Tall, athletic, nice eyes…”

“Paige.”

I rolled my eyes, though I would be lying if I said the blonde was not included in my thought process. “I mean it, I’m done with her.”

“No, no. Paige. Right over there.”

It felt like my heart plummeted to my ass, the effects of the alcohol consumed unable to keep me cold as a chill rushed through me. Before my brain could tell me not to look, my head snapped to the front. Two girls now stood at the front of the bar, talking to the male players. One girls laugh cut through the crowd, and I saw a small smile erupt in Adria. That must be KK. The girl next to her, hands shoved in the pockets of her cargo pants, didn’t even need to say or do anything. I could tell Paige Bueckers from any crowd.

---

taglist (open!): @paiges-1vur @unadulteratedcyclepaper

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #uconn women’s basketball #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers angst #paige bueckers fluff

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venus-is-thinking · 1 year ago

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Fanmade DRDT Playlist Explanations

Hey everybody! About a week ago, @accirax and I made this post about a character playlist we made for DRDT. It was in a randomized order in case people wanted to take guesses and figure out whose song was whose. We’re going to be giving out the answers now, but if you want to take a shot at placing any of them, feel free to take a look before looking at our answers! They’re written out beneath the cut.

In addition to just saying which songs were intended for which characters, Accirax and I decided to write out explanations for each of the songs in the same way that we did for the official DRDT playlist. So, for anyone who saw that a while ago, it’ll be a fun little throwback. Any explanations will be preceded by an A or a V depending on which one of us wrote it.

Also, spoiler warnings for DRDT through Chapter 2 part 1. Sections with specific content warnings will be flagged, but in general, content warning for murder and death.

Okay, onto the songs!

Homunculus by Trickle: Levi Fontana

A: Homunculus is a song about trying over and over again to create a better version of yourself to escape the parts that you hate. Personally, I think that it relates to Levi and his character themes pretty well. Levi is always looking to the people around him to figure out how to act and what the “right” thing to do is. When he messes up, like with getting fooled by Arei or threatening Ace, he’s filled with regrets, and turns to others to help him right his wrongs.

Presumably, it’s due to his estranged family that made him act this way. He may have been able to get away from them, but will he ever be able to get away from himself?

Realized in my last life That I hate the light So I keep running And running I’m trying to hide

Levi’s struggles to converse with others and to trust himself are the results of his own low self esteem. In his secret quote, he talks about “his heartlessness,” and while many people speculate that he is a “killer without remorse,” his worries about not being a good person are sort of remorse about not feeling remorse over doing bad things, if that makes any sense.

I'm broken, torn, and tattered I'll never be full again

Many of Homunculus’ lyrics feature the singer berating themself for various reasons. They worry about not being up to par with what people expect of them, not fulfilling their own expectations of themself, and being a shell of who they should be, among other things. These premises may be similar to how Levi feels as someone who wants to be a reformed hero, but fears their villainous origins are too powerful to ignore.

Also, if the popular theory that Levi is involved in the Chapter 2 murder (whether as the sole blackened or as an accomplice to someone else) holds true, the singer’s resolution to do better “in their next life” could hold additional meaning to Levi.

So maybe in my next life I'll finally find Find a way to wash away all the shame To erase and wash away all the shame

Either he’s about to die, so the next life is the only chance he has, or he’s managed to screw this life up so badly by being involved in a murder that his morality might be unsalvageable. Even though he would continue living for at least one chapter in that secondary case, the quest to continue reforming himself might seem too insurmountable.

Hate It! Hate It! Huge Ego! by KurageP: Arei Nageishi

V: Here we are with Arei! This song cold opens on some lyrics that fit Arei pretty obviously:

That small girl, I just hate her! She always acts like a nice person.

This refers to Eden. Arei picks on Eden, but it’s because Eden is a very good person in Arei’s eyes. She doesn’t believe that’s something that can exist, and she takes out her frustration that she isn’t allowed to be nice on Eden.

Arrgh! I want to be loved! I want to be loved!

Similarly to how we gave Shunran to Arei “they say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent” Nageishi, I generally associate feelings of wanting to be loved with Arei. Additionally, the frustration and anger present in this demand to be loved makes me think of Arei; she wants to be loved, but doesn’t know how to get it, and that frustrates her.

Just like that kid did to me, I just crush the garbage underfoot, right?

This line is probably the best for Arei in the song, given that it directly ties into how she developed her worldview. Arei was once nice (like Eden), but her sisters bullied and abused her until she no longer could be. She learned to stand up for herself by mimicking her behavior and pushing them and others down. She “crushes the garbage” of other people under her foot, just like how her sisters did to her.

I hate humanity! All they do is flock together. I try to pay attention to others’ feelings, But I just get completely ignored!

Arei wants to be a caring person, but she doesn’t let herself be anymore. She used to “pay attention to others’ feelings,” like Eden does, but her attempts at solving the situation peacefully were always ignored. Because of that, she learns to hate humanity.

I’m the most special of them. I need people to understand me!

Arei builds herself up as a queen bee type and praises herself about being the best (bowler and in general), but she also wants people to understand why she’s cruel the way that she is. Deep down, she wants to be nice, even if she believes it to be impossible. That understanding is something she searched for in David.

I didn’t do anything. But, but, but, but, but… Aah, I want to be forgiven, I want to be forgiven. I’m so lonely.

This song adds in a moment of sincerity, showing the remorse that the singer carries and how they feel alone. Again, I think this reflects how Arei thinks at times rather than how she acts. However, it quickly returns to the same, full-power chorus as before, showing that Arei won’t allow that loneliness to actually change her base persona or get her down; she wants to be loved, but she’s still the same strong, confident Arei at the same time.

I don’t even recognize my own face!

Shoutout to J/Arei swap theory on this line if that ends up being true!

A: While I overall agree with the interpretation of the opening paragraph(?) best fitting Eden, while reading through Venus’ analysis, I came up with an alternate interpretation.

That small girl, I just hate her! She always acts like a nice person. Is she just gonna act like I don’t notice? Those! Eyes that look down on me!

These could be Arei’s opinions about herself in the past. Arei hates her past self for being small and weak, and thus leaving herself vulnerable to her sisters’ abuse. Why didn’t she see how pathetic she was being? And why would she even have the thought that her past self might hate the person she’s become…?

That popular girl, I just hate her! She only likes fashion, Abruptly talking like it’s her business. So shallow. Shallow, shallow, shallow.

And these are Arei’s opinions about herself in the present. Because, come on, you can’t watch that Chapter 2 breakdown scene and think that Arei is actually as confident in herself as she pretends to be. Arei may now be a typical queen bee who enjoys fashion and girly things, but that doesn’t actually make her any stronger or cooler. She cuts into conversations to inject her own hateful comments, shallowly feeding into her own worldview. I don’t know if Arei in the story would actually recognize that she has any of these feelings, but I think they could be there to be noticed had she lived longer.

Also, Milgram fans, rejoice in the bullet you dodged that we didn’t wind up giving Arei Reversible Campaign. Even though we didn’t like giving her literally the Mikoto cover of it, we almost did before we remembered that Huge Ego existed. Like, seriously, what would have been up with that? Arei should’ve been Mu, if she had to pick a Milgram character…

Please Play-Bite by Pinocchio P: Nico Hakobyan

A: Remember that scene in Chapter 1 when Nico spent an hour just reciting tongue twisters to MonoTV? In my opinion, that was the best written scene in all of DRDT. Ah, memories. (/j)

Anyways, if you get past the most obvious premise of the song, “Pinocchio P flexes his tuning and songwriting skills by making Miku recite a bunch of tongue twisters” (which does not apply to Nico at all), the rest of the song makes a lot of sense.

My head is full of anxiety God, I’m begging you to [finish] me I bit my tongue again (Oh no)

Due to their anxiety (and perhaps other neurodivergence), Nico struggles to communicate with others on their/society at large’s terms. They hate talking to people because people always react negatively to what they have to say, even if they’re trying to be nice.

In the song, I think that “I bit my tongue” is more literal– the singer messes up saying the tongue twister, and with their tongue in a nonstandard position, they accidentally chomp it. In a metaphorical sense, this could signify how Nico can’t keep up with a “normal” conversation, and keeps having things come out wrong if they just speak off the cuff. However, there’s also the more traditional interpretation of “biting your tongue,” which is refraining yourself from saying something that you want to say for the good of the situation. There have probably been a lot of times in their life that Nico has wanted to say something, but has stopped themself from doing so because they don’t want to cause trouble.

The song has a lot of references to not understanding what people are doing or saying.

Isn’t it difficult to live a normal life, ouch ouch ouch

The sensation that enthuses the young and the old I’m not quite understanding it, oh what do I do

Kind words sound distorted to me

I don’t really know what the section about loving someone at the end would mean, though. You could extrapolate it to be about Rose, and how she used to like Nico before losing some faith in them now. However, any change of heart Rose may have had wasn’t because Nico was bad at communicating– she doesn’t care about that– it’s because Nico went behind her back to steal her turpentine and nearly kill Ace with it. So, who knows.

Also, shout out to this lyric for clearly being about Ace.

My neighbor eats [persimmons], he’s from Planet Complaint

I’m going to start saying that Ace is from Planet Complaint now. Thanks, Nico.

Last Score by Sekikomi Gohan: Eden Tobisa

V: This is a very positive and loving song, which is fitting for Eden. After all, she’s someone who cares a lot about her friends and family, and she tries to spread cheer and positivity to those around her.

A face full of tears doesn’t fit your profile really that well

I let go of both my worries and anxieties, happy day! Yeah!

This voice of mine will be with you No matter where you go

There are also a lot of references to time, which, obviously, fit in with her role as the Ultimate Clockmaker.

I’m stricken by my valuation of time The traffic light stays red, unchanging

Experiencing the past, the future and the now that I’m grasping

Hundreds, thousands of years, or even an eternity, in this endless life of mine

However, it’s the combination of those two things that make a narrative that I think fit Eden. Her secret quote– “You can never go back, no matter how hard you try”-- implies a sense of desperation to return to the past, something that ties into the themes of her Ultimate talent. When paired with her secret, “Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships,” it becomes clearer that there’s someone in the past who she loves.

If you combine the two, you can come to the conclusion that Eden longs for the past, partly or entirely because of the person she kissed. This song is one of longing for a past relationship.

The love/sorrow that we amassed Is proof of my existence with you Even my dreams, my wishes, and my painful memories as well Everything, everything, everything, I was with you

This interpretation works with a general longing, which I’d argue is present in Eden’s character no matter what. Accirax and I, though, along with some others, believe in Eden Chapter 2 culprit theory, with the belief that her motive is to reunite with the people she’s left behind, notably the girl she kissed.

If that is the case, there are also song lyrics that would allude to her taking direct action to get back to the life she left behind.

The reason why I can run without feeling down Is because I’ve known love

I’m overturning the notion that our parting is inevitable

Either way, though, I think that this song fits Eden as someone with a lot of love and desire for others’ happiness that guides her actions.

Change by Monkey Majik: Hu Jing

CW: Suicide for this section!!

V: Okay, so this one is a lot more speculative. Like, obviously we know some things about Hu, but a lot of what I’ll be talking about is about where I believe her character is headed/what I think we can determine about her. For what it’s worth, I’ll be assuming that the hopeless child secret– “Dying once wasn’t enough, so you attempted suicide three times”-- is Hu’s. (This analysis by @1moreff-creator focuses on Min, but it’s a lot of why I believe Hu’s secret to be this.)

So, that being said, I’ll be speculating a lot about Hu’s mental state, so… my bad if I get anything wrong.

You had your wishes but you threw them away It made you happy yeah for more than one day But now you're lost and cannot figure a way To get out of this lie that comforts you

This is, in my opinion, about Hu’s transition from being the “hopeless child” to where she is today, in the killing game. Something must have changed to aid her mental state (could easily be something she “threw away”), which fits with making her “happy” (not actively suicidal, at least from what we’ve seen). However, now she’s here in the present, and she’s not sure what to do. What should she do to move forward, especially in this context?

You'll never change if you keep running away

I’m not sure exactly what Hu feels she’s running away from, but I feel alright saying that she is, given her secret quote: “I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.” Hu wants to be someone different and make up for something (or, if this occurs in the future of the series, to be someone different from the person who takes whatever action this describes), but she doesn’t know how.

Brothers on the top pressing all the melodies

Takatantan!!! Sweet sound of the shamisen Tsugaru style if you know where they're coming from

I don’t know much about music, and while I assume these lines wouldn’t successfully relate to zither playing specifically, it’s still true that the more traditional sound of the song and the references to music make me think of Hu’s talent.

Wouldn't it be nice if the whole world got along?

This relates to Hu’s desire to have everyone get along and be on their best behavior. She wants everyone in the killing game to work together peacefully, but that’s difficult to pull off, given the stronger personalities in the group.

I need a change 'Cause it's all gone wrong for me Somebody else to lead me now (I want) somebody else to lead me now

This can definitely also relate to Hu’s dynamic with David; she saw him as a co-leader, someone else who could help her keep the more unruly personalities under control. However, with his heel turn, it’s plausible to say that Hu would be looking for “somebody else to lead her”-- someone else to support her views and to make her less alone in the struggle to keep people under control.

The rest of the lyrics I’d have to interpret based entirely on my own predictions, but I’ll give a quick shot at it:

Sing them your song You'd be surprised how many people wanna hear what you're saying

I suspect Hu will, after dealing with the fallout of David, seek to try to enact that same stability onto the group. Some people, I think, will be receptive, and Hu will realize that what she has to say has meaning.

Maybe! Who knows! I still think this song fits Hu’s vibes.

A: Wait a minute… what’s that?

Apples are red, but taste The same as green, wooo!!

Is that a hint about Color Theory? Are red and green the same person? Is Monkey Majik trying to tell us that Hu is confirmed for the green color, but also the red color? Does that mean that Hu is the mastermind? Is this–

CW: Suicide over!

Get Chemical by Polite Fiction and Audiodile: Charles Cuevas

V: Okay guys, I promise, this song makes sense beyond “get chemical.” I know it’s a weed song. But not for Charles. If you ignore the weed part it’s a Charles song. Trust.

A: It’s not about weed. Ignore the weed. Pretend it’s not there. It’s Charles time.

V: Okay, but in all seriousness, this song fits him really well. The song moves him through his character arc chronologically, so that’s how I’ll be looking at the song’s lyrics. The song starts off with Charles’ more no-nonsense worldview.

There's a time and a place For wasting space And if you're not coming home Then it's a slap in the face

It's nothing worth doing If you just can't do it alone

Charles starts out not wanting to “waste time” or bother with any of the other students. He thinks the only things worth doing are by himself, so that’s what he does.

But I don't wanna wait for days

Charles then gets tired/bored of being by himself (as he warns Teruko will happen to her at the start of Chapter 2). He starts getting impatient, and thus ends up spending time with some of the other students.

And I'm tired of the games we play While you sit and judge me there from on your throne

Charles gets frustrated, though, because he feels that no one takes him seriously. Notably, Whit and Teruko make fun of him a lot. He feels judged by the others. However, once he tells Whit this in the bonus Chapter 1 free time, he starts to make progress; Whit understands him, and thus stops judging him so harshly.

Put the train wreck on display Marvel and wonder how it sways Wear that disapproving stare right through the phone

Then, the murder happens. Xander purposefully triggers Charles’ hemophobia to put him out of commission, and Charles then has to be visibly out of it for the entire Trial. Though Whit tries to preserve his privacy, he eventually has to reveal why Charles is acting up. Thus, Charles, the “train wreck,” is on display for everyone to “marvel” at.

Is it a trending feat or a single case Is it dignity if it gets misplaced Am I justified in adopting casual tones

Charles, after the first Trial, formally becomes friends with Whit, as well as generally leaning towards being friendlier with the group. Thus, while “adopting casual tones,” AKA being friendly, might be a “single case” (just Whit) or a trending feat (befriending everyone). Previously, not befriending people and acting above them was part of how Charles displayed his dignity, but after the first Trial (in his eyes) stripped him of that dignity, he has to reposition himself.

Well pinkies up, 'cause it's in good taste And if you can't throw down then you know your place There's a hundred different ways that this could go

After the first Trial, Charles has to confront the fact that he isn’t reliable. Thus, these lyrics to me best fit him giving Teruko the secret motive he received (Eden’s). He “knows his place,” realizing that he could easily be incapacitated again, so he does what he can. He plans for contingencies.

And I am still quite functional when I am prone

This line switch up fits the second Trial well. Charles can’t investigate fully or contribute in the way he’d like, given that he can’t actually enter the Playground or look at Arei’s body, but he can still be a major benefit to the students in the Trial. He can find evidence elsewhere and be a logical ally for Teruko. He even got to cut in to help her in the last moment before the hiatus.

Obviously, I can’t really apply the lyrics chronologically beyond this point, but I can still point out the things that make sense.

Hitting bottom's so much better when you're stoned

I can’t deny the weed allegations on this one, but if you just replace stoned with gay with friends it makes sense. “Hitting bottom’s so much better when you’re surrounded by a support system.” That kind of thing.

Most of the rest of it is just the chorus, which is pretty easy to see the connection. I mean… the Ultimate Chemist definitely gets chemical. Not in the weed way. And the “upright to vertigo” is sort of reminiscent of Charles’ reaction to his phobia.

Anyways, this is the end of my essay. Get Chemical is a Charles song I promise!!!

Tokyo Teddy Bear by Neru: Arturo Giles

CW: Suicide for this section!!

V: Okay, I’m going to preface this one by saying Arturo was a hard slot for Accirax and I to fill on the playlist. We don’t have any songs that really boil down to “you’re ugly,” so that element of Arturo’s character is out. That means that our best bet was anything that vaguely related to philosophies of fashion/aesthetic, as well as trying to interpret Arturo’s trauma/mental state. That second part is hard, because while we do know his secret– “Your younger sister killed herself because of you. You never should have left.”-- we don’t really know the details or how he reacts to it, other than “badly.” So, take everything here with a grain of salt.

The connection to aesthetics isn’t super strong, but it’s definitely there to be seen.

I crush the heels of my unfashionable shoes

I’ll find some tougher scissors And cut out my face

With the theming of a teddy bear, there’s even references to cutting/replacing physical features of a living being, which ties into Arturo being the Ultimate Plastic Surgeon. Additionally, this often pairs with parts being “replaced.”

I’ll make a ridiculously sized pattern for it Anything will do, as long as it serves as a replacement

Please fill in the gaps in my seams

This, again, can relate to plastic surgery. It’s inherently something where you take a physical feature and alter it in order to get a “better” result, which means that you’re replacing the previous feature with a new one. It’s a bit of an angsty description of plastic surgery for Arturo, but it makes enough sense.

However, the lyrics pertaining to family and home are what sell this song for me. While we don’t know a lot about Arturo’s situation, we do know that he “never should have left,” meaning he did leave to some extent. He also clearly feels guilty for his sister Felicity’s death.

I personally theorize that they likely had harsh parents, so while Arturo was able to use his promising career and older age to escape, Felicity had to endure the toxic environment on her own, which eventually led to her death. Thus, it would be understandable that Arturo would want to leave, but would still feel awful about the end result. Either way, though, I think the lyrics can definitely connect.

Mom, Dad, I’m sorry for everything

Brother, Sister, I’ll see you later

Goodbye, everyone; teacher, take care

Arturo is sorry for the situation, but he still leaves. It seems like there’s a specific point in Arturo’s life that would change pretty drastically when “leaving,” so it makes sense if it’s something treated with a lot of drama and severity.

Then there’s this part of the song:

There’s nothing left, nothing left anymore: it’s all torn off Even my cells seem to disappear into this sea of lint That’s right, I’m gone, gone, thrown away I don’t even have a home to go back to

This would read to me as a reaction to Felicity’s death. There’s nothing left of the home he cares about, meaning he’s officially on his own. It’s also a lot of emotional turmoil he’s struggling with, obviously.

I want to complete it, I want to cheat, give me the answer I can’t change? Do I want to be kept like a pet? Is it all gone? This isn’t me! The seams have split and torn apart

This part reads to me as some sort of big reaction to something in-story. It could just be the secret reveal; he wanted to “cheat” by threatening Eden into silence and claiming not to have a sister, but he learns that he can’t “change,” or otherwise escape from his past. How the ending of this song will be interpretable is going to change heavily with where he goes after this reveal, whether it be being the Trial 2 killer (and likely explaining his logic more in the post trial) or continuing to move forward into at least one more daily life.

That’s pretty much all of the analysis for the song, but I’m going to just quickly talk about some aside theories for Arturo!

CW: Body dysmorphia for this section!!

Anyways, while looking at the lyrics of this song, I started wondering how Arturo’s views on beauty and being the Ultimate Plastic Surgeon might’ve tied into his past/Felicity. Arturo clearly developed very strong views on what was beautiful/ugly somewhere along the way, and it wouldn’t be at all surprising if Felicity held some of these views as well.

I think it’s possible Arturo may have attempted plastic surgery on Felicity if she had some sort of body dysmorphia. A lot of people with body dysmorphia try to use plastic surgery to ease their negative thoughts, but it doesn’t usually work, because the issue isn’t their actual appearance, it’s their misperception of their appearance and how it impacts how they believe others see them. Body dysmorphia is also a condition which has a high suicide rate (some studies say 25%+ of people with Body Dysmorphic Disorder have attempted suicide), so that could definitely be part of Felicity’s struggles.

This is also much less specific, but do you think Arturo has ever had plastic surgery or tried it on himself? I kinda just assumed his mask was part of the surgeon aesthetic, but it’s true that we don’t super know what’s under it, right?

Anyways, ramble over! Onto the next song!

CW: Suicide and body dysmorphia over!!

Punching Bag by Set it Off: Ace Markey

A: And here we have our first Set it Off song! Venus and I listen to a lot of Set it Off music, so it was hard to cut down to just two when we wanted to do a couple more. Rest assured that the two we went with are going to be fitting.

(V: They are my top artist on Spotify ever :D

Also side note, we also like Full Moon by Rare Americans as an Ace song on vibes. The lyrics are less fitting, but like… the Vibes are there)

A: I think the scene that most closely parallels the lines of Punching Bag is the one in Chapter 2 Episode 4, where Veronika intervenes in Ace and Nico’s fighting. To quote Ace, “Is that what everyone really thinks about me? And it’s fine that you drill it into my head over and over again, because you think I’ll forget about it in 5 minutes like you do? … You think I act like this for fun, and then I go to bed and sleep soundly at night, you dumb piece of shit?”

I'm up all night when you think I'm sleeping People pleasing's never good for your health

I’m sure you can see what I’m getting at here.

V: There’s also the fun part with the “up all night when you think I’m sleeping” that Ace (I’m pretty sure) goes to the Gym and stuff while other people are asleep! Plus, there’s him overhearing the David/Arei conversation. So, in a lot of ways, Ace actually kinda is up all night when other people might think he’s sleeping.

A: People not taking Ace, his emotions and his struggles, seriously is one of the things that infuriates Ace the most.

Punching bag Just another pot calling the kettle black Take it out on someone who won't hit you back 'Til we're all as broken as you

Based on what others have told him, he knows that they think he’s a fragile coward whose bark is worse than his bite. How dare they insult him when they’re just as fucked up as he is, if not more?!

So say goodbye to your Mr. Nice Guy You got your wish, he's rotting in Hell

Even though we are aware that he wasn’t really a nice guy before, this scene (and the one investigating the Gym with Levi) is reflective of Ace’s Chapter 2 declaration that he’s in it only for himself. He’ll be a terrible person if it’s the only thing that’ll defend him from everyone else’s onslaught of attacks.

And, on top of all that, there are a bunch of lyrics that seem to reference damage inflicted on the singer by some kind of string.

Hanging on by the strings that you're pullin' (So you) cut me down just to push me around

And hope I'd tie a rope 'round my throat 'Til I start to choke

Don’t worry Ace, I’m sure this will never come back to bite you. Play-bite you, even.

So go fuck yourself

Well, that’s not very nice :(

Grave Dancing by David Bays: Veronika Grebenshchikova

CW: Self harm and suicidal ideation for this section!!

A: This song kinda tracks Veronika’s experiences with boredom, and how experiencing the terrors of the world that make most people cower makes her cackle. We begin with Veronika’s backstory, detailing how she felt before the killing game began. Now, this is based on speculation, but the idea that Veronika has the secret, “you only took on your talent to distract yourself from your incessant need to harm yourself for fun” is generally a pretty popular one. If she really was injuring herself just to feel something, we can assume that she was in a pretty bad mental state.

I stared into nothing completely entranced A spectacle vortex of mesmeric dance Millions of voices invite me to jump Into the pool of the opiate pump

Veronika was lost to her own desires, only focusing on what was fun (the “mesmeric dance”) even when it was putting her in danger (“inviting [her] to jump,” presumably off a high place). However, once Veronika finds horror, she finds that you can’t spell funeral without fun.

I’m dancing on my grave As my pleasure turns to pain I waste my days In this haze The more I satisfy myself the emptier I am

When most people would be sobbing at a gravesite, Veronika thinks to dance. When Veronika is experiencing pleasure, it’s at the hand of pain, whether hers or someone else’s. Even when she succumbs to her desires to live her life for the sole pursuit of fun, she’ll always be chasing a high that doesn’t exist.

The fleeting euphoria begs me for more

Or, well– not without a killing game, anyways. The “round robin race” and “endless buffet” mentioned in the lyrics could both refer to the killing game, and “a wishful need to want to leave” would be more of a commentary on how people like Xander and Eden keep making plans to end the killing game. It’s her typical psychoanalysis stuff.

Do you remember how to be I don’t And you’re all stuck here with me As we throw away our time On momentary lives

Veronika seems to know that she’s abnormal (although she frequently forgets it in the moment), and even relishes in it in the presence of people like Arturo or David. Even if she doesn’t remember how “to be” (a normal person), everyone is stuck with her in the killing game, where her opinion holds the most power. The concept of “throwing away our time on momentary lives” sounds like the kind of thing she would say to get under someone’s skin– pointing out how fragile everyone’s life is in order to try to incite murder. Overall, the song just reminds me a lot of how Veronika speaks and thinks.

Entertained forever till we… DIE

Like… Yeah, that’s Veronika alright. You get it, I hope.

CW: Self harm and suicidal ideation over!!

Hallelujah by Hunter Oliveri: David Chiem

A: Did you know that David… is in a poor mental state?

Everybody is dumb I'm feeling numb Hallelujah

While exactly how much David’s “real personality” mirrors what he’s shown us in 2-11 is still up for debate, that infamous episode certainly showed us that there’s something off with how David views himself and the world. Namely, he’s a pretty pessimistic guy who seems pretty cavalier about throwing at the very least his own life away (given that the person who receives votes WILL die, either in a correct blackened vote or an incorrect spotless vote). If you assume that David is not actually the blackened in Arei’s murder, you can also get this line to factor in:

Everyone's got a gun Let's kill everyone

If the other students use their “guns”– their votes– to kill David, everyone will die. That’s a plan he’s completely fine with… Or, at least, he’s acting like it is. You could also link this line to Xander and his fake gun. Obviously, Xander didn’t actually use his fake gun in his attempt to kill Teruko, but it’s still an acknowledgment of how Xander was a participant given a gun like everyone else, and how he did decide that murder was his best course of action. Betrayals like that are likely part of what gave David this attitude in the first place.

In his breakdown, David also shows his perverse desire to call out the other students for their naive idiotic beliefs in trust and the goodness in humanity. So, you know. Everyone (in the Class Trial) is dumb (for believing in all of the inspirational bs David spews), (David is) feeling numb (to his own survival, as well as potentially still being in shock regarding the state of his career)-- Hallelujah. In the Hunter Oliveri version, the call to Praise The Lord is certainly meant to be sarcastic, and David means the same. In the way that “the Lord” can also imply fate/morality or a powerful establishment, David can be telling those things to fuck off too with his “Hallelujah.”

All of this is probably clear enough. However, what makes me like THIS smugly apathetic song over potential others are the frequent references to telling people how to do things and success. Let’s start with telling people how to do things.

It all means nothing I'll tell ya something They'll sell ya something, yow

Now I can't do a damn thing. And I'll take you out your misery And now I can't move a damn thing And I'll take you out your misery

Although the singer is feeling numb and therefore shouldn’t care about their audience, the song is still clearly framed as the singer giving their advice on how to best approach life. “Telling you something,” AKA the wisdom David dispenses in his inspirational speeches, is the exact same thing as “selling you something.” David knows that he profits off of exploiting others’ hopes, and he hates himself for it. Because he believes that people can’t ever change, he “can’t do/move a damn thing,” but will still “take you out your misery.” On the surface, people think that David is taking them out of their misery to move them to somewhere happier. But the way David sees it, he might as well just take them out of their misery by killing them, because life for the corrupt and unmotivated is pointless.

On that happy note, let’s talk about success.

I Gotta buy a big house Driveway full of cars trophy wife on the shelf

Here's what I'm all about Spending big money on a ticket to hell You've probably seen me around I'm like the Walmart in your hometown

I can’t remember if it’s ever been officially confirmed by the story, but I would not be at all surprised if David was the most independently financially successful Ultimate in this killing game. Like, obviously if J got along with her mom, she would have access to way more money and fame than David would. But, given that J tries to hide her identity, David is the only character who seems to be particularly recognized by anyone else (Xander) at the start of the killing game. Calling him “the Walmart in your hometown” is kind of a funny way to get that point across, but if you say that David is calling himself that’s incredibly well-known but also not that particularly special/well-regarded, I think it fits.

David has been able to ride his career as an inspirational speaker to immense success, but he feels very empty about it. Because he doesn’t believe in what he’s saying (and in Arei’s case, may even believe that the things he said actually kill people), he knows that the “big money” he’s earning will come back to ruin him in the end. His actions before and after his big reveal are what will send himself (and those he’s affected) straight to hell. The worst part is that he doesn’t even have any particular ambition about how to use his success. He knows what successful people act like– displays of wealth, happy relationships– but he doesn’t actually know how to achieve them. He doesn’t even like expensive things. So, what’s the point?

David’s got a lot of opinions about how people should feel about their brief lives on this miserable “third rock from the sun,” and I think Hallelujah represents them pretty well. Just… don’t ask me about the lyric four lines down from that one. I have no explanation for it. We’re ignoring it. Moving on.

Egoist by Onuma Paseri: Min Jeung

V: It took us a while to pinpoint what exactly we wanted to pick as Min’s song. We strongly considered the obvious but fitting Lost One’s Weeping, but in the end, we decided to bring something new to the table instead. That song is Egoist!

A: (This is because we wanted to avoid putting in songs that other people had already brought up themselves, to make the guessing game fun for Min. I applaud everyone’s efforts in coming up with so many great songs for Min, but goddamnit did you have to come up with SO MANY great songs for Min??? /j)

V: Egoist is an interesting song for Min, because a fair amount of the lyrics actually focus on not wanting to be in school.

I usually spend my days falling ill. Let me withdraw from school, professor!

Let me go home early, professor!

However, I think this makes sense given that, in Min’s bonus episode, we see her starting to have more doubt surrounding her school career. She begins to realize she’s become extremely focused on school to the detriment of everything else. To me, that’s what these kind of lyrics actually relate to in a Min context.

I want to talk about something life-related. Won’t you listen to me, professor?

I understand that patience is important in life. Won’t you realize it, professor?

Min has started to realize that not only school matters, but the people and the environment she’s surrounded by encourage her to continue focusing on academics entirely. She wants to have patience in life and explore other possibilities, but she finds it difficult to actually broach the subject with anyone.

You, dyed orange, Will melt into darkness before long. Though time passes, my anguish will not disappear. I spend an eerie night together with you.

This set of lines is much more plot-oriented. Though you could try to spin these to be about Mai, I think it’s easiest to make this song largely about the night that Min kills Xander. Xander, dyed orange, “melts into darkness” (dies via electrocution). Min’s anguish can’t just disappear, because the Class Trial exists– it has to result in more death. I think you could call the whole thing overall an eerie night.

Get sentimental, and it’s goodbye. Go quicker and further away than anyone else!

Min “becomes sentimental” when she wants to save Teruko from Xander. However, because this results in both Xander and Min’s deaths, her sentimentality means “goodbye” for her.

Becoming impulsive is the right move. Cross through the night, more than anyone else! There’s no going back from here. After all, there’s no consequences.

This relates to Min trying to win the Trial. The right move is to become impulsive– she has to act quickly when she sees Xander or he’ll simply kill her too– and after that, she has to “cross through the night” more than the students she’s trying to deceive. She has to be the absolute best to clear the Trial and escape to the outside world. There’s no going back from here.

The “no consequences” thing is a little weird considering there very much are consequences for her actions, but I could see that potentially relating to her mindset of fixing “mistakes.” Killing Xander doesn’t have to be a mistake, as long as she does succeed more than anyone else. There are only consequences if she fails to correct her mistakes in time. Unfortunately for Min, that’s exactly what happens.

…Actually, I take back what I said earlier about some of the lines being potentially applicable to Mai. THESE lines relate to Mai:

You had entered my heart, and your smile Will melt into darkness before long. Though time passes, my memories will not disappear.

Problem solved! Min gets to reference Xander, Teruko and Mai!

A: I also tried to pitch Hungry People by the Happy Fits as Min’s song; but Venus didn’t really get it, so we went with this (which I think she did a great job explaining!). However, if anyone wants to hear me ramble about the commercialization of Hope’s Peak and the Ultimate Student as a talent through the context of Versace, Versace, Versace or Klein, hit me up.

Always Tired by Weathers: Rose Lacroix

A: This song doesn’t have a ton of lyrics, but the ones it does have fit Rose pretty well. The most obvious connection is just due to the fact that Rose is, believe it or not, always tired.

I'm always tired, I just can't fight it I'm always picking up my body, oh

Whether as a result of her hard work, an attempt to run away from her depressing day-to-day life, or straight up narcolepsy I don’t know, but the fact remains that one of Rose’s most apparent character traits is her tendency to fall asleep at a moment’s notice. And, despite the dangerous killing game situation, she doesn’t make any attempts to try to keep herself awake, like drinking a ton of coffee or whatever. She doesn’t really have the drive in her to try much of anything after being chained to the Spurling Foundation for life. Instead of making art based on her own creative drive, she has to execute whatever the Spurlings tell her to. She has to force herself to do things, mentally picking up her body instead of just letting it carry itself forward.

There’s also the matter of Rose’s nightmares, the combination of her photographic memory and the troubles she’s faced. The song is a lot about sleeping, but also a lot about seeing.

A quarter to three, still rolling in bed A party for me with demons in my head Do you ever know how eyes lie? Do you ever see how I'm-

Even when Rose does try to sleep, she can’t avoid her photographic memory filling her mind with nightmares that feel incredibly real. Xander’s dead body, Min’s crying face, and Teruko’s haunting glare could all seem pretty demonic under the right circumstances.

The song’s continuous repetition of the chorus also speaks to how bland Rose finds her life now. It’s just a cycle of unfulfilling days doing the same thing with the same tired energy following her around. Unfortunately, that’s just her habit.

Evolutional by Big Data: J Rosales

V: This song largely centers around J’s relationship with her mother, Mariabella Rosales, and how J wants to make her own future rather than the one her mother wanted for her. In that lens, a lot of the lyrics to this song are honestly pretty self-explanatory.

It's my future, not a mystery These games that you play, you're my history Not your possession, you don't own me Said it's all for the best, I disagree

J takes ownership of her own future, leaving her mother and the stardom she was born into in the past. She’s not just her mother’s child; she’s her own person, too.

Ooh, boy, what you gonna say when I walk away? (Got a mind to eliminate) Ooh, ooh, boy, what you gonna do when I'm not with you? (I'ma show you another view)

J would much rather walk away from the whole situation. I have no idea what Mariabella’s reaction was when J walked away, but I have to imagine she wasn’t happy about it. J would probably enjoy that fact.

Gonna make a change, gonna rearrange Improve myself, I don't want your help

Something I like about the lyrics to this song are that they focus on how J has taken ownership of her future rather than just rebelling against her past. Yeah, she changes from her past, but she does also “improve herself” in the sense that J has still found her way to an incredibly successful career, Ultimate-level worthy, through her own enjoyment of SFX. She doesn’t want her mother’s help to become famous, but she still thrives on her own terms.

Used to build me up, used to knock me down Thought you were so clever, who's laughing now? Are you listening? Do I have your attention? I'm telling you now, I'm your final invention

J, as we know her, currently seems to have gotten the upper hand against her mother, given that she HAS become unrecognizable to most people and got to live out her life in relative privacy. I’m sure her mother is aware of this, though, meaning that J is the one “laughing now.” And, of course, if Mariabella is feeling like an Endeavor kinnie, she might see J as her “final invention.” Ryan is younger, but still, J is the evolution of the Rosales bloodline.

Remember the Empire by House of Heroes: Xander Matthews

A: Remember the Empire is a pretty general song about rebellion, which means that it definitely fits Xander, but not necessarily with the same specificity as some other songs. However, there are still some good lines to talk about, so let’s get into it.

Stand, stand up! What choice have they given us?

Remember the empire, Tear the king from the throne!

While possibly not as medieval as House of Heroes intended it, the rebellion that Xander asks people to stand against is definitely about taking down a king. Or, more specifically, a Duke. I doubt that Duke is actually a king by divine right or anything like that, but if you say that he was the old money ruler of the town in which Xander lived, there’s hardly a difference when it comes to modern day. “Remember the empire” is about Xander remembering both his family and hometown in the ways he wishes they would have stayed, and “tear[ing] the king from the throne” will at least restore that kind of peace to other families and homes.

Fight for the life that our children should have, Fight for every freedom that we never had, There's no turning back all the bridges are burned, Our peace must be earned, so

Again, Xander is focusing on children because he was a child when the river in his town was poisoned. Speaking of rivers, sometimes they have bridges over them…? But also, “burning bridges” just means ruining your relationship with someone, which Duke Spurling definitely did.

While I would say that the majority of this song is more about Xander’s backstory than his (brief) time in the killing game, there are still a couple of lyrics that I think speak more to that time period than his past.

Here they threaten with murder and bribe us with peace. Here they treat us like slaves and convince us we're free.

MonoTV sure did threaten them with murder! And bribe them with peace, too: given that Xander attempted to kill Teruko before the motive videos were actually given out, the main motive for the majority of the students was the temptation of going back to their peaceful, everyday lives.

“Treat[ing them] like slaves and convinc[ing them they’re] free” is a bit of a stretch, but who says I’m not flexible? MonoTV and the killing game establishment want the participants to believe that every decision they make is on their own terms– if a student chooses to become a killer, it’s about the despair secretly hidden inside of them, and not the external pressure of being put in a month-long life or death situation. But, the students are still “slaves” to both the headmaster, the structure of the killing game, and, in Despair Time’s case, the entertainment industry.

We wrote it down in blood, in blood. We gave our lives for love, for love.

Also, while Xander didn’t actually write out an accusatory dying message in blood, the blood around his neck and on his fingers were relevant to the case. He is also (probably) related to the blood falling on the pieces of paper in DRDT’s opening scene, and certainly the recipient of the “kill Teruko Tawaki” note, which was written down to call for Teruko’s blood.

Similarly, while the direct reasoning behind why Xander decided to kill Teruko is yet unknown, it really feels to me like it would be “for love” of something. Love of the rest of his classmates? Love of Mai? Love of the world? Whatever the case is, he gave his life for it. Remember the Xander– tear the song from the list!

SAD (Clap Your Hands) by Young Rising Sons: Whit Young

A: There is precisely one section of the lyrics that made me believe that this song was for Whit.

I've still got memories to repress But I still hear my mama saying If you're sad and you know it And you don't want to show it Clap your hands If you’re sad, that's okay You can clap it all away Just clap your hands

This part screams Whit so hard to me. Whit represses his emotions and memories about his home so that he can pretend that everything is fine. Whit’s mom is very important to him, and is more likely than not dead, such that anything she says would have to be in a memory. Much like how “bitter things should go down the drain,” Whit always chooses not to show his sadness, deciding instead to play things off as jokes.

Erase any unease you have with these two simple steps! Step 1: Clap! Step 2: Profit.

So, anyways, that’s clearly the best part of the song. What about the other parts? Well, they are probably making Whit into a bit angstier of a character than he actually is. Probably. (V: Yet. He will have angst. We can all feel it.) Compared to people like Xander or Min who have their own bonus episodes, or even people like Arei or Rose whose backstories have been explored a bit more in canon, we don’t actually know that much about Whit’s past. And, yes, I know that we literally got an entire scene almost entirely focused on Whit’s backstory. The problem is, given that he likely has a history of… omitting information, one could say, we don’t know how much of what he’s said about his past is true, and how much might be reframing things in a more positive light.

Still stuck in bed Try to remember how Unscrew my head That's too left brain right now

[...T]hey say that if I try That I could maybe be someone But I'm scared because I know deep down That day may never come

Shut up and be happy It's all in your head Grow up and be happy 'cause it ain't that bad That's what my doctor said

Like, all of this could be true about Whit, I dunno. Or it could be false. To try to end this on a smart note, I’ll try to explain each of these sections as best I can.

Whit is probably a more right-brained person, to the extent that that model means anything, because of his strong intuition and innate understanding of how others are thinking and feeling. The left brain helps you with sequencing and facts, two things which Whit probably tends to ignore.

There’s definitely an argument to be made that Whit doesn’t see himself as a particularly talented matchmaker, despite being an Ultimate. When Charles asks him to break up the fights between J and Arturo, Nico and Ace, and Arei and MonoTV, Whit deflects, saying that he’s only a matchmaker, not a relationship counselor. (Charles points out that he didn’t bring up anything about matchmaking at all, which implies that Whit may frequently feel out of his depth when asked to do things as a matchmaker and is used to coming up with excuses.) Whit’s sales pitch for himself as a matchmaker in the prologue is basically a joke, too. And then, there are the details thus far only brought up in his character profile: he dislikes Valentine’s Day, and has never been able to succeed in finding a relationship for himself. That failure to matchmake the perfect partner for himself (assuming he’s interested in that kind of thing, but he does say he likes boys and girls and was confirmed as bisexual in a Q&A) may make him insecure in his skills, and thus in his future as an Ultimate.

Of course, his bio also says that “if you get the Ultimate Matchmaker to find you a romantic partner, you’re guaranteed to have a happy and stable relationship for life,” so do with that what you will.

And finally, Whit did ask other students about their prescriptions, and seems to have some familiarity with mental health issues, given how he was able to help Charles. I mean, any good doctor would not actually say “grow up and be happy ‘cause it ain’t that bad” to someone struggling with their mental health, but my point is that the lyrics could have some extra meaning for Whit if he did see a doctor for whatever in the past.

Look, like I said at the top, there is precisely one section of the lyrics of this song that made me think it worked for Whit. The rest of the song does not make as much sense, but the guy was hard to pin down. And, hey, it’s not our fault that Good Grief was already taken–

Killer in the Mirror by Set it Off: Teruko Tawaki

V: This song is such a #TerukoSweep. We were looking at songs and this was one of the first ones we locked in. It very clearly shows her shift after Chapter 1 to being more distrusting of everyone else, after both Xander and Min betray her.

Look out, they're closing in on you now Wake up, or you'll wake up six feet down Nobody's got your back in this town Knock 'em in the teeth now

Teruko quite literally has to wake up or wake up six feet down after Xander stabs her, considering she’s unconscious for a long time. After that, she fully believes she can’t rely on anyone, so she becomes much more aggressive to the people around her, pushing them away.

Out here, there's no negotiation No room to start a conversation Before you get a taste, it's taken Never let your guard down

This relates to how she doesn’t even want to talk to anyone after the Trial. She can’t ever let her guard down; that’s a large part of why she refuses Eden’s attention in particular. She can’t negotiate or start a conversation, because that, in itself, is letting her guard down– it’s opening herself up to friendship, which she no longer trusts.

Get back, put your hands up, kinda messed up, but it's tough luck

Tough luck you say? …Anyways.

And I'm sorry, but I don't feel bad for you 'Cause I know if you could switch this You'd be dishing out the same shit Saying sorry, but I don't feel bad

Teruko seems to hold the view that anyone could betray her at any time, and thus, they should all be considered enemies. She can’t feel bad for any of them, because they could all do the same to her.

Now I know there's no one I can trust I used to think there was Tell me that I'm cutthroat I think you got your eyes closed

This is the same kind of thing. She can’t trust anyone, even when she used to think she could, because Xander and Min’s betrayals proved that not even those closest to her could be trusted. People say that Teruko is cutthroat for turning her back on everyone, but to Teruko, they don’t see the facts. She’s not being cutthroat, she’s being cautious.

Feel the fear and swallow back the tears Let weakness disappear

This relates to Teruko cutting out her friends because they’re weaknesses, etc. etc.

There's nobody but me here The killer in the mirror

This is actually one of the harder lines to justify in my opinion, because Teruko hasn’t actually killed anyone. …That we know of.

I’m kinda just banking on Teruko’s likely secret of “How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you’ve done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault” in addition to any inflicting-bad-luck-on-other-people-like-with-Min type situations being enough to justify calling Teruko a killer, at least in a hypothetical sense. If she really is responsible for the killing game (questionable) then she’d sort of have killed Xander, Min and Arei at this point.

The other verses’ lyrics definitely fit too, but it’s really just a lot of repeating Teruko’s philosophy. She doesn’t trust anyone for her own safety, she can’t have friends anymore, all that deal. Classic Teruko.

Conclusion

V: Thanks for getting all the way through this post! This thing ended up WAY longer than we meant it to. Still, I guess it makes sense, given that we tried to pick songs we thought had strong lyrical basis for the characters. Hopefully you enjoyed, coming from me and Accirax :)

A: Yippee, essays over! Thank you for reading. Now go listen to our immaculate taste in music some more (/lh /nf). And the original playlist, too! We could all use a little more DRDT brain rot in our lives.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #fanganronpa #drdt theory #long post #accirax collab #tw suicide #tw self harm #crying i accidentally formatted everything on thinkin bout milgram before realizing i was on the wrong account #got to the tags and everything #anyways sorry this is like 10k words i don't really know what happened #gotta out-length our previous post ig #hopefully this is fun to read and not just... information overload #but yeah enjoy :D

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