#Which is fantastic so far I have like 3 chapters left and it’s the gay xmas novel I didn’t know I needed?

[malenchka]

“If you’ll pardon the observation, you appear to be in your underthings.” “…Yes.”

I am once again asking you all to read Mortal Follies pls and thank you

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 5

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers - past Shuri/Female!reader

Warnings: Slow burn - Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - unrequited love - gay panic - fools in love - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: I'm back! Yes! I know it has been quite a while, life has been hard if I'm honest with you and these moments of peace had been sporacdic. Hope you like this new chapter.

This time around something happened that made R and Wanda come closer, yet far enough for them to deny whatever they want.

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, liking and reblogging the story guys! Remember that English is not my mother tongue, so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 5

Falling

Her life had been predetermined by her father the moment she had been born.

For as long as she could remember, Wanda had always been told what to do, how to act, what was expected of her. Even though her mother helped her get an education, as well as get into a career, her father had always made sure Wanda was straight as an arrow, always leading her to a ‘good man that could control and protect her’.

She found herself being introduced to Jarvis at some point, the son of one of her father’s business partners, and a classmate of hers all through the secondary, it had been decided that he would be her husband. Wanda sighed watching the picture she kept on her photo album, in there was Pietro always smiling and happy with his arm around her shoulders while Jarvis stood to her left with a possessive hold on her waist.

Pietro had never liked Jarvis, but it wasn’t his decision.

Thunder broke into the night, Wanda jumped startled watching outside the window while her eyes drifted momentarily to the stairs. She strained her ear trying to hear if the twins had woken up, but the silence of the house was only broken by the rain and the wind right outside. Wanda sat in silence and a half-lit room, the memories of her past coming over with overwhelming emotions that threatened to break her over once more.

She held onto her own strength, the smile of her children and the words of Hope and Natasha while the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“This is a long road, Wanda. You are not expected to heal overnight, but you do need to start somewhere.”

And that was precisely what she was doing, choosing the memories she wanted to keep and letting go of those she didn’t want to remember. The pictures in her photo album had change drastically the moment Jarvis showed up in her life. Soon the pictures of Pietro, her mother, and her friends disappeared, giving way to pictures of Jarvis filling up her youth invading her life in ways she never noticed until now.

She didn’t even have enough pictures of her and the twins, most of the pictures included Jarvis one way or another holding them, grabbing them, possessing them. Wanda closed the photo album feeling suddenly emotionally tired, her life had changed drastically ever since she ran from Jarvis and started working on her, her children, her career.

“One step at a time, Wanda. You just must give yourself some credit, you are doing fantastic and as long as you remember why you are doing this you will be okay.”

And Wanda knew why she was doing it.

She still had the scars, and the police report as well as the medical records of herself and Tommy. The bright, blueish light of lightning breaking into the night startled her again, this time around she redirected her eyes to the window and waited for the sound of thunder breaking into the night.

The lights in the house flickered and soon the hole house went black. Wanda stood up, her eyes going big as she heard the sudden cries coming from the twin’s room. In less than a minute she had run up the stairs entering their room, the light from the mobile helping her move through the house and the darkened room.

She was familiar with the scene welcoming her the moment she crossed the threshold of the twin’s room. Billy was holding onto Tommy, both boys had their eyes wide open though Tommy was looking drowsy and flustered while Billy was completely awake and disheveled holding onto his brother as he used to whenever they heard the screams of fighting and hitting in their parents’ room.

“Hey, guys, it’s okay, mommy is here.” Wanda approached the bed wrapping her arms around them, kissing their foreheads with a concerned frown. “It’s just rain, it will pass.”

Billy merely nodded but Tommy went from his brother to his mother, and it was then that Wanda noticed the shivering figure of Tommy, his labored breathing and the glassy eyes. Billy shot his brother a worried glance before turning his attention to his mother.

“Momma, I don’t feel good.” Tommy whispered snuggling closer to Wanda, the young woman placed her hand on the boy’s forehead feeling the warm emanating from his skin.

Panic rose inside Wanda’s mind, Tommy was burning and he wasn’t looking so good. She lifted her eyes and Billy was glancing at her with a frown adorning his face.

“Mommy?”

“Don’t worry, boys, mommy is here, okay?” Wanda cooed Tommy while trying to give Billy a reassuring smile.

Tommy closed his eyes whimpering lightly, while Billy chewed on his lower lip.

“Is Tommy okay?” He asked in a small voice, Wanda fixed the younger of the twins on the bed while helping Billy down and directing him to his own bed.

“He is baby, but he needs some space and medicine, right now he seems to have a fever and mommy needs to make sure he is okay.” Wanda explained pocking Billy on the nose, the young boy offered a weak smile, but his eyes went from Wanda and Tommy constantly.

“I’m going to grab something really quick from the bathroom, can you watch over him without going to close to Tommy?” Wanda inquired knowing the request was hard for the young boy, they had always been together through the fighting, through the punishment and even in sickness.

But Wanda didn’t have the luxury of having any help, and risking both twins to get sick was something she couldn’t afford emotionally and physically. Wanda brushed Billy’s hair placing a single kiss on his forehead. Billy scrunched up his nose, pursing his lips at the last request.

“Tommy needs me.” He mumbled crossing his arms.

“I know it’s hard, Billy, but mommy doesn’t want you catching whatever it is Tommy has.” She tried to explain to the upset kid. “Mommy needs you to be strong and help her out, can you do that for me?”

Billy pouted looking away while nodding his head curtly, Wanda hesitated for a moment before standing up, her eyes went to Tommy then back to Billy who was still looking away from her. With a heavy heart, the young woman made her way to the bathroom to look for something that might help Tommy.

In the darkened bathroom, Wanda soon realized she had never bother to buy any medicine or any kind of implements that might help in a situation such as this. She had gauze, alcohol, bandages, cotton balls, and a digital thermometer. She tried to look at her reflection, the tears she didn’t know she was shedding rolling down her cheeks while her heart beat hard against her ribcage. None of this, but the thermometer, would help her with Tommy, would her?

With trembling hands, Wanda grabbed the thermometer and some cotton balls, she let her hands wander inside the cabinet until she found a small cup. Making sure the water was not too cold, she wiped away her tears and putting on a strong façade grabbed everything and went back to the twin’s room.

The storm ranging right outside the house became almost unbearable, thunder and lightning filled out the emptiness inside her home and by the time she was helping Tommy out, Billy was holding onto his pillow watching wide-eyed as Tommy whimpered and complain while putting his blankets away.

The lights had not come out yet, and Wanda had a feeling that this might take some time because of the storm. She went right into action making sure Tommy had the thermometer while putting the cotton balls and the cup of water on the bedside table.

Billy watched from afar as Wanda fussed over Tommy while his brother cried softly, and tried to get away from her touch while still couching and sneezing, his hands grabbing his chest or head from time to time. The young boy had always been there ready to protect his brother, and he hated it when he knew there was nothing he could do.

His young eyes went from his brother to his mom, she was crying and Billy felt his eyes well up at the sight. For a brief moment, he turned his attention to the door almost expecting his dad to come over screaming enraged before hitting mommy and Tommy.

But it never happened, and relief washed over the young man that still felt anguish at the sight of his family suffering over without anything he could do. Billy glanced at the phone, then back at his mom and Tommy, he lifted his hand and wiped away his tears with his pajamas. The phone he had been holding for quite a while vibrated in his hand, Billy frowned glancing at the phone while tilting his head.

“Mommy.” He mumbled standing up, he made his way to Wanda holding onto the phone.

Wanda lifted her head, she tried to smile and Billy could see she was not doing okay.

“Tell me, sweetie.”

“Can you call a doctor?” Billy offered the phone to his mother, he could no longer hide the tears on his face and Wanda broke just a little at how mature he usually behaved at his age.

Wanda grabbed the phone putting him closer to her, her arms wrapped comfortingly around him before placing a kiss on his head. She thought about the proposal, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it, but the rain outside and the lower temperatures could only be worse for the boy burning in fever at the moment. There was a moment of hesitation on Wanda’s part, she glanced at Tommy then at Billy before placing her eyes on the phone.

But before she could do anything, Tommy sat up moaning, grabbing his stomach.

“Mommy I don’t feel good…” And with those words, he leaned in and started throwing up.

Billy stepped back watching horrified as Tommy empty the contents of his stomach on the bed and the floor, and soon Wanda sprang into action taking the young boy to the bathroom, running and sharing comforting words to a now crying Tommy.

The mobile had fallen to the floor, and Billy grabbed the gadget in his hands hugging it closer to his chest not knowing what to do and how to help his mom and brother. It took him a moment, tears falling down his face, and he just checked the phone finding the only familiar name that could help him and his mommy in a moment like that one.

With a blurry eyesight, he pressed the dial button and finally started sobbing when he heard the familiar voice through the phone.

____________________________________________________________

There was not a single light on the streets.

The wind and water twirled in front of the windows, the bluish light of thunder breaking into the darkness from time to time, and the rumbling from thunder making the glass trembled echoing the strength of the storm.

You sipped some hot chocolate from your favorite mug, sitting down in the kitchen your mind played out the recent events that had shaken your life in ways you never thought possible. More than a week had passed since the school event in which you got a chance to see a side of your neighborhood you were not familiar with and finding her in the practice of your best friend.

Since then, your encounters with her have been sporadic. But each and every single one of them had the spark of teasing you had come accustomed to. It had become a habit to just bother her and rail her up, to watch her reaction to your piercing words and your constant teasing while getting some reaction out of her. To see her eyes going wide, and flashing that glare you had come to appreciate, or her retorts that were a defiance of your intelligence and your personality. A part of you knew the game you were playing was a dangerous one, another part didn’t even care.

That was, until your mind reminded you of one Carol Danvers that had been at your doorstep from the moment you decided to go back to the world.

The blonde woman had been there as a support, and also as someone that helped you escaped from the pain and the reality you were made to face. So much different than Shuri, Carol had always understood your priorities, and while at the beginning the both of you had agreed on sex with no strings attached, Carol had made it quite evident she was ready for more, and pretty much intended to wait for you to be ready as well.

Another thunder broke into the night.

You lifted your eyes wondering if perhaps letting Carol meet America had been the wisest thing to do, the both of them had hit it off right off the bat, and you knew that Carol had been more than happy about the meeting. She saw that as a step in the right direction, one of the steps to get you closer into a relationship you were still not so sure you wanted.

“What are you doing up at this hour?” The voice of America startled you awake from your daze, turning around you saw her completely dressed wearing a heavy jacket and boots as if she was ready to go out.

“What are you doing dressed like that?” You asked back raising a single eyebrow, the young woman came closer to you tilting her head with narrowed eyes.

“I’m going out.”

You snorted shaking your head, “you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go out with this weather. Anyway, why the hell would you go out? This has something to do with Kate?”

America opened her eyes wide, blushing lightly while crossing her arms.

“Not everything that happens to me has to do with Kate.” She huffed indignantly, though you had to smirk at her reaction.

“As of late, everything has to do with her…” You replied teasingly. “You two should stop playing around and get together already.”

“Oh, shut up! You are one to talk, you and Carol had been playing the friends with benefits for far too long, you should give in already.” She retorted shooting you a defiant glance, you winced looking away while lifting your mug.

“Touché. I won’t say anything about Kate and you from now on.”

“Thank you.” America turned around but stopped when you placed a hand on her shoulder, your brows lifted in wonderment.

“Still, you’re not going out, though.”

America made a face lifting her phone while trying to come up with the best explanation.

“Look, Billy Maximoff just called me.” She started explaining, and as soon as that name came out you perked up. “He was really distressed, crying and asking for me to help him, something happened to Tommy and…”

“Well, where is his mom? Or his dad for that matter?”

It wasn’t so much the question, but the tone of voice you used to ask. Your voice broke a little, and your tone rose an octave making you clear your throat and look away from the scrutinizing gaze of your sister. America narrowed her eyes at you, tilting her head.

“There is no dad, and it seems as if Mrs. Maximoff needs help.” America trailed off before grabbing your hand. “Come with me, please, I think they really need help and I hated to think Billy is crying while Tommy and Mrs. Maximoff are…I don’t know…”

You made a face letting go of America while scratching the nape of your neck, your heart jumped in your chest while a tingling started in your abdomen at the thought of seeing Wanda Maximoff. It was strange, and unwanted, you shouldn’t feel anxious to see that insufferable woman, yet…

“What if Tommy is sick, Y/N? I know you can help them.” America pressed grabbing your hand. “Please, come with me and if it is something dumb, you can lash out at Mrs. Maximoff, I know it had become your favorite pastime as of late.”

“That’s not true!” You replied slightly offended. “She is the one lashing out at me!”

“Oh, please if I didn’t know better, I would say you like her!” America replied turning just on time to miss the flash of panic in your eyes.

“So, can you come with me?” This time around she used her most powerful weapon against you, and her puppy eyes with that familiar pout broke your resolution.

Rolling your eyes you nod, “okay, okay, I’m coming with you, let me grab something, I don’t want to catch a pneumonia just so you can go and help Maximoff’s brats.”

America smirked watching as you went running to your room, she knew even if your words seemed uncaring that you were hooked when she said the kids might be sick. America knew for you it was hard to not care, but sometimes it was harder to care.

*************

Your eyes soon found those of the small boy standing by the door with a blue blanket tightly pressed against his chest, he had tears in his eyes with his hair completely disheveled and a spark of mistrusted sent your way. America knelt down as soon as he opened the door, her face breaking into one of pure tenderness while she spoke to the boy in a soft reassuring tone.

“Hey, Billy, how are you buddy?”

“Tommy is sick.” He mumbled and was about to hug your sister when you stopped him from going any further.

His glare made you think of his mother, and you had to refrain yourself from snorting at the likeness between both of them.

“We are drench, kid, so hugging America is not a good idea.” The glare didn’t lose its intensity, but the boy pursed his lips and stepped away from your grasp.

America rolled her eyes at you, closing the door behind her and taking the jacket off of her. You followed her swiftly, while also taking off your boots and standing inside the house that had been Natasha’s at some point.

The place had changed ever since, though you could see the new inhabitants of the household decided to keep some of the furniture. You frowned stepping inside the place noticing there was no one but the kid on the first floor, turning around you could see America talking to the boy, this time around she wrapped her arms around him helping him up and walking towards you with Billy snuggling closer to her.

“Tommy is sick, and he and his mom are upstairs.” She commented, her lips broke into a sad smile. “He didn’t know what to do, but he thought if I was here his mom could take Tommy to the doctor.”

“You are quite the smart guy, Billy.” Your commented made Billy turned his attention to you, though his eyes had not softened he was now shooting curious glances at you. “However, with this rain, the best would be for Tommy and your mom to stay here…”

This time around you could see the crestfallen expression on the boy’s face, his eyes welled up again and your heart broke at the sight. You leaned in, winking at him reassuringly.

“But you and your family are lucky that I know a thing or two about being a doctor and may be able to help, would you like that?”

America watched as the boy tensed in her arms, his eyes opened lightly, and he glanced at you for the very first time with wonderment, and some hesitation.

“Really?” he turned to America to corroborate your words, and the young woman smiled at him.

“Yes, Billy, this is my sister Y/N.” She said, looking at you then back at the boy. “And she learnt a thing or two about children and how to take care of them.”

Billy pursed his lips glancing at you with a tilt of his head, “really? You help Tommy?”

“Really, I can help Tommy and your mommy as well.” You looked around the place before settling your eyes on America. “Why don’t you grabbed one of the torches you brough and I will go upstairs to see what’s going on.”

“Sure.” America turned to Billy pocking him on the nose. “Want some chocolate while we make sure Tommy gets better?”

You watched as both of them go to America’s jacket, and handing over the torch to Billy they made their way to the kitchen. With a sigh, you placed a hand on your head before turning your stare to the stairs; the place was completely silent, and you had to glance around while straining your ear to catch some noise. Without missing a beat, you walked down the hall until you found yourself in front of a door decorated with dinosaurs and the names of the twins in blue and red.

The room smelt like vomit, and it felt suffocating.

On the bed was a small boy whimpering, and leaning in was the young woman you had come to know as Wanda. There was a moment of hesitation before you knock on the open door, the sudden sound made Wanda jerked around her eyes wide open as they settled on you.

“Wha-what are you…who…?”

The young woman was looking terrible.

Her hair was out of place, and she had been wearing some sweatpants and a shirt that had strains of vomit all over them. The sight itself was quite incredible, you had seen the fire behind those green eyes, the power behind the woman’s words as well as her determination whenever you engaged her in a bickering contest. But the woman standing before you was lost, it was someone that didn’t know what to do or how to react, that was completely out of her element while holding onto a piece of sanity she clearly didn’t have.

It made you think of that time she had frozen in fear during the school’s event.

“You got any coherent thought behind those questions? Or do I have to guess what are you trying to ask?” Your lips curled into a smirk, the glint of anger flashing towards you as the woman strides to you her index finger lift poking on your chest, with her nostrils flaring.

“What the hell are you doing here?” There was desperation in her voice, and you had to wonder where the father of the kids was, where was her husband.

Was she alone in all of this?

“Your kid called, and America dragged me over to help.”

She blinked a couple of times, your words registering in her head while her brows knitted together. Her eyes locking with yours before she opened them in realization.

“Billy.”

“Yes.”

“America? Why…?” Now she looked even more confused than before, you shrugged suddenly very aware of the closeness of the woman and the foolishness of the situation.

“She is my sister, and your kid call her over to see if she could help you.” You shrugged trying to look uninterested in the whole situation. “You had a smart kid, Princess. Now, let me help you with your other kid.”

You stepped aside, and walked past Wanda who was struck by the door still registering your words. You looked around the place before kneeling down right beside the bed of Tommy. You placed your hand on his forehead, he was burning and your touch made him shiver telling you his skin was sensitive to the touch. It was quite evident he had thrown up, and his paleness confused itself with the flush of the fever. Your eyes moved to the thermometer then to the mess around you.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked in a thin voice, your eyes were flashing angrily at her just as you stood up.

“Me? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked through gritted teeth. “He is burning up! What had you given to him? Do you know if he eaten something that upset his stomach? How long has he been like this?”

And just as you said this you stepped closer to her, the anger in you came by the sight of the state the room was in and by the obvious discomfort the boy was in. It was incredible to you that a mother could be this disinterested in their child. If your stepmother had been alive her first instinct would have been to take you or America straight to the hospital, bad weather or not, and your dad…

The anger running through your veins cooled down the moment your eyes fell upon the cowering form of Wanda. The young woman winced when you spoke to her, her body tensing and coiling in on itself, while she pressed her hands tightly to her chest. Her eyes clenched close, paled with a quivering lower lip, she was mumbling something you had not bothered to hear up until now.

“I just…I didn’t…I don’t have because I…” Wanda had been ready to answer your reproaches with the same annoying tone she used to address you until something in her triggered the memories she thought she had overcome. She was useless, a bad mother, she deserved punishment. She deserved her fate.

“I don’t know! I’m sorry, I…I failed, I failed, I’m a bad mother…”

You never expected her to break down the way she was doing, something in your chest stirred with sympathy and guiltiness at having been so hasty in your reaction. There was a moment of hesitation that was broken the moment the woman felt to her knees, this time around her arms above her head as if protecting herself from an invisible attack. You clenched your jaw, your eyes burning with horror at the thought that this was perhaps what Wanda was waiting from you.

You could hear her whimpers, turning around you could see Tommy crawling his legs closer to his body, he had been awake during the scene trembling on his bed with his lips turned downwards. You brushed your hair away before stepping closer to Wanda, kneeling down slowly but surely, your hand placed itself on her shoulder. Whatever story was behind her reaction, you decided right there and there, you would make things easier for her.

“Hey, Wanda, I’m sorry.” You whispered softly, comfortingly. “It was not my place, you are a good mother, you did the right thing, I just…I want to help…”

“Hey, Wanda, sorry I just…look, I came here to help. So…”

“Why? So you can humiliate me? Tell me…making me feel as If…” Wanda exploded pushing your hands away, her eyes filled with tears just as she glared at you. “I’m doing my best I just…”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You whispered, wincing at her words. “I was unfair, I…I just…I don’t like seeing little kids suffering, okay? And, Tommy, he really needs a doctor. Let me make it up to you, let me help you.”

“What? You are a doctor or something like that?” Wanda bit back, her glare never missing the intensity.

“Something like that.” You replied offering a half smile, Wanda furrowed her brows the situation draining her of any will or energy to fight over. “Let’s start by getting him really clean up, do you have anything we can give him?”

“What do you mean?” She asked in a small voice.

“Antibiotics, aspirin…something?” Wanda shook her head and you nodded curtly.

“Okay, that’s fine. You and him, you need a shower…”

“But…but he is sick, and his fever…”

“Needs to be controlled before it gets out of hand.” You replied helping the young woman stand up, you cocked your head, so your eyes fell upon the boy that was glancing at the both of you. “Let’s take him to the bathroom, I have some torches that may help you, but you need to give him a bath and help with his fever.”

Wanda nodded weakly making her way to the bed, Tommy was shivering with his lips parted. You leaned in, observing the rhythm of his breathing and the sweat on his face.

“Mommy?” He asked in a weak voice, Wanda cleared his face never missing the concern marks on her face.

“Is he…” Wanda started but soon trailed off.

“He is gonna be okay.” You smiled at her, standing up you placed a hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry, kid, everything is gonna be fine, can you tell me where it hurts the most?”

Tommy pouted hesitating before placing his hand on his head, you pursed your lips nodding. Wanda observed as you knelt down with your eyes scanning the small form of the boy.

“Does your tummy hurt still?”

“No.” Tommy put his legs closer to his chest, your eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Tommy, did you feel bad today at school?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I didn’t want Billy worried because he was playing with Bard, and I’m always complaining.”

The boy explained in a thin voice, Wanda pressed her lips holding back her own tears. You offered the boy a smirk, shaking your head.

“I bet Bard was being a little brat about it, wasn’t he?”

Tommy opened his eyes before nodding, this time around he smiled.

“Yeah, the men in that family can be little brats.” You said winking at Tommy. “But they are good people, you don’t have to hide, Tommy, more so if you don’t feel okay.”

“I’m s’orry.” He lowered his gaze, “I don’t wanna be weak, daddy don’t like it when I complain.”

You decided to not comment on that, and you even ignored the sudden shift on Wanda’s posture, and the gasp she let out at Tommy’s words.

“Hey! Not feeling well is not about complaining, it’s about being brave enough to admit you need help.” You replied by pocking his nose. “Now, I need to help you and your mom with your fever, okay?”

Tommy nodded putting a thumb on his mouth, you stood up looking around the room before settling your eyes on Wanda. In a sudden movement, you went to pick up Tommy in your arms, the little boy snuggling closer to you.

“He does need to take a bath, and it’s going to be a little uncomfortable for him because the water must be lukewarm.” You stated firmly, Wanda shifted her position taking a good look at you. “Can you show me the bathroom?”

The bathroom was huge.

With a big bathtub at the far corner, you realized that with more light the situation would be easier for everyone. However, the place was big enough to make it work for the mother and the child, you placed Tommy on a small chair near the toilet.

“Okay young man, I need your help right now, think you can do it?”

Tommy opened his eyes wide, nodding while glancing at you then back at Wanda.

“Okay, I’m gonna bring some flashlights and you and your mom are going to take a bath.” You explained to him standing up while turning on the light on your mobile. Wanda had been silent up until then, she had been following your every move, hearing every single word you spoke to her and Tommy, and something inside her stirred grateful by your actions.

You glanced around the place helped with your mobile trying to locate the cabinet in which you might be able to locate some medication. Your eyes narrowed when the only thing you spot were gauzes, bandages, alcohol, and things that might help someone after a fall. Not in a situation like the one they were in at the moment. You turned to Wanda, but the young woman was making her best effort to look away from you.

“I’m going to get the bathtub ready, and you and Tommy can take a bath, so the both of you stop stinking.” You made a face winking at Tommy who giggled placing a hand on his mouth.

“I’m not…” Wanda started but soon trailed off when she heard Tommy’s giggle.

“You are.” You replied walking past her towards the tub. “And Tommy is too, right?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I stink. I felt bad in my tummy and throw up.”

You made a face making sure the war was the right temperature, “that and you have a fever, Tommy. I will need some basic medication for you, but the water will help with the temperature, okay?”

“But, with his fever…” Wanda started, you stood up shaking your head.

“It will make him feel better, believe me.” You offered a kind smile and Tommy was already feeling ready to take the bath. “Let me go for the torches, and then I will bring some medication I have at home that may help with his symptoms.”

Wanda stood there nodding numbly, you hesitated for a moment before grabbing her hand, the tender touch jerked her awake and her eyes found yours in the dark.

“It’s gonna be okay, Wanda, trust me.” You whispered, and the young woman felt her stomach tingle at the closeness, her heart shivering at your words.

“I do.”

You nodded curtly running down the stairs and grabbing two torches from your jacket and that of America, your sister watched you with curiosity, but you paid her no mind and went back to the second floor. Fixing the flashlights on two strategic points in the bathroom, it took but a moment, but soon your eyes found the naked back of the boy and your whole body tensed, while your jaw clenched closed again, this time around the anger bubbling in your chest was like a time bomb ready to explode.

On his back, there were multiple scars, some of them looked fresh, some others were old enough to know he had been hurt several times in the past. Then, as soon as you saw this, your eyes drifted away to the young woman whose hands were tenderly taking the clothes off and helping Tommy into the bathtub. The way she moved, the way she worried about her children…

“It’s cold, mommy.” Tommy whimpered fighting a little, Wanda cooed the little boy trying to calm him down.

“I know baby, but really is not that cold, is just…it feels like that because you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m going to leave this here and you two can take as long as you want.” You commented furrowing your brows, your mind already working on trying to get the truth about Wanda from Natasha. “I will leave my phone here, if you want to put on Disney or Netflix for him.”

Wanda turned to you, her face breaking into one relief and grateful expression.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Princess.” You winked at her, placing a hand on your eyes. “Tommy you are in charge of the phone and the movie, make sure your mom doesn’t put a boring movie.”

“Yeah.”

Wanda chuckled leaving Tommy for a moment to grab your mobile, her eyes soon found yours and her cheeks burn a little at the sudden warmness she felt near you. She grabbed the phone and you and her turned around at the same time, you closed the door behind you, confusion filling up your mind.

****************

“How is Tommy?” America asked as soon as you entered the kitchen, you glanced around the place before spotting the door leading to the basement, in your arms you were carrying the bed sheets and the pyjama.

“He is burning in fever, Wanda is bathing him, and probably will take a shower afterwards.” You turned to America pointing to the basement door. “I need wash this, but right now that room is a mess, can you help me cleaning it up and putting some fresh sheets on the bed?”

“Can I help?” Billy asked in a small voice rubbing his eyes, you offered him a small smile nodding.

“That would be fantastic, Billy, Tommy needs clean sheets to feel better, and your room smells yucky so let’s make sure he comes back to a clean room, okay?”

Billy perked up at this, he nodded eagerly smiling a little, “yeah, I help, come America.”

He grabbed your sister’s hand dragging her back to the stairs, you shook your head opening the basement door going downstairs to put everything in the washing machine.

By the time dawn came, the rain had stopped and Billy, Tommy and America were fast asleep in the twins room.

The lights had not come out yet, and you had a feeling it would take some time for the electricity to be restored again. The living room was early quiet, and Wanda was sitting on the sofa with a warm mug of hot chocolate in her hands. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was still wet but her clothes had changed into another part of sweatpants and an old college t-shirt.

Tommy’s fever had receded, and he was no longer suffering from headaches or tummy pain, he had even drunk some tea and eaten some crackers before falling asleep on his bed. Billy had been right on his bed with America playing some movies on your phone.

Wanda had been fussing around the three of them, she was busing herself stopping any intrusive thoughts that were threatening to invade her mind. She was confused enough, tired enough, scared enough to allow another set of concerns filled her life at the moment.

You sat down on the sofa, the young woman tensed but her eyes never drifted from the photo album still open at the coffee table. You glanced at the pictures, having taken a pick early into the night before settling your eyes on Wanda.

“What a night, eh?” Your voice broke the silence in the room, it didn’t carry the usual bite and teasing tone you had come to use with Wanda, instead it was filled with tiredness and curiosity.

“Yeah, I never stopped enough to thank you for the help.” She finally said tilting her head to glance at you. “I never thought your sister…well, that you and America…”

“Oh, yeah, I know.” You chuckled wriggling your eyebrows. “I bet it was quite the shock for you to discover we were sisters, eh?”

Wanda allowed herself a tiny smile, “what surprised me is that she is such a charming young woman, responsible, and quite smart. And you don’t seem to fit in that description.”

You laughed throwing your head back, while allowing the comment wash over you. Wanda observed your reaction with some surprised, but her lips curled into a please smile, soon she was also laughing shaking her head at the absurdity of her situation. Here she was, sitting on her living room with a woman she though annoying and a bitch, only to find a comfort she never thought possible.

“Nah, she is good sister, I’m the bad one.” You finally replied never losing your smile, Wanda pressed her lips together looking away for a moment.

“I don’t think you are the bad one.” You raised an eyebrow, your eyes shinning with wonderment. “You are a bitch, but you’re not bad.”

“Fair enough, Princess.” Once more Wanda rolled her eyes at the nickname, at some point she had thought it annoying and quite invasive, a way for you to railed her up. But now all she could think of was how much she liked the sound of it coming from you.

The silence that followed was filled with questions unasked, Wanda was not the woman you thought she was. She was alone in the city, raising two boys all by herself while working to educate the newest generation in a school that could provide her with great opportunities. Natasha had advocated for her, she had even given her the house in which she and Yelena had grown, offering her a spot in a school that didn’t take just anyone in.

What was her story?

What was hidden behind those emerald eyes that sometimes reflect sadness and loneliness?

You stirred awake turning around while knitting your brows together, you could not ask these questions. You shouldn’t be wondering anything about the woman sitting in front of you. Your heart should not beat so fast, and your abdomen shouldn’t host fluttering butterflies creating a void you were familiar with.

Bouncing your feet on the ground, you stood up walking around the living room. Wanda followed you with her eyes, her own mind playing games with her and what had happened that night. She kept telling her that she was grateful for your intervention, that whatever she was experimenting at the moment was the result of America and you coming in to help her in a situation she felt was slipping from her grasp. It had been so long since Wanda forged any kind of friendship that was not determined by Jarvis or her father, she was finally free to be herself and reached out to people by allowing herself to make new bounds.

That was the reason why Wanda felt confused by you at the moment, it wasn’t because you made her heart skip  beat, or because you made her feel vulnerable. It wasn’t either because she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment and coyness, or because her stomach had come to tingle whenever the both of you engaged in a bickering contest.

It was because she was learning how to make new friends.

That was all.

Wanda drown the voice inside her head, that traitorous voice that told her Y/N was the only one making her feel that way. Her other friends, the new ones, had never shake her world the way you had done so from day one.

“You should probably get some sleep.” Your voice broke Wanda’s trail of thoughts, she jerked around blushing profusely when she realized you were standing right beside her.

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked, and you snorted tilting your head.

“You should probably go to sleep, Princess.” You glanced at the watch on your wrist. “It’s three in the morning, I could keep watch for you, and I can wake you up as soon as the doctor is here.”

Wanda furrowed her brows at you, “doctor?”

“Well, I figured we need an expert to watch over Tommy, so I asked in a favour.” You replied shrugging, “hope you don’t mind.”

Once more, Wanda felt warmth all over, her heart melting at the gesture.

“No, I…thank you.” She took the last sip from her chocolate before yawning, her eyes drifted to the stairs then towards you. “If you don’t mind…I prefer to stay here…can we talk or something?”

You hesitated for a moment; it was quite evident Wanda was tired but she was stubborn enough to keep herself going if necessary. With a sigh, you nodded curtly sitting down on your previous spot of on the sofa.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” You finally asked after the silence became too much, Wanda shrugged with her eyes falling upon the pictures.

It was still too soon, and you…The young woman turned towards you, she didn’t want to scare you off with her torrid story. She didn’t want you to know about her past, not yet, not like this; so straightened herself up she asked the safest question she could think off.

“Tell me how come you end up with such an amazing sister as America?”

_____________________________________________________________

The constant buzzing of conversation sneaked into her senses; she knew she had to wake up. An internal alarm was telling her she was needed, but her body and the recent activities had left her drained of energy necessary to open up her eyes.

Besides, she was warmth, and comfortable in the place she was in.

For brief moment she gave herself to the feeling, and her mind was slowly but surely losing the battle with her wakeful state until her ears caught the sound of a familiar voice.

“Thank you for coming, Strange, I know that this is not your specialty but…” You stated offering a tired smile to the man standing before you.

“Nonsense, I will be more than happy to help you out and that’s why I brought my wife.” Strange stepped aside and soon Christine came in rolling her eyes, on her hand the small duffel bag she used to carry with her everywhere.

“Hey, Y/N.” You dropped your shoulders walking towards her and wrapping your arms around her.

“Christine.” The older woman shot Strange a quick glance before wrapping her arms around you returning the hug.

“Miss me much?” She asked teasingly, you nodded looking away sheepishly.

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.”

“That’s why you haven’t called as of late?” The question came like a reproach but without any bite. You winced placing a nervous hand on the back of your head.

“I’ve been busy.”

“So I was told.” Christine waved her hand closing the door behind her, her eyes drifted around the place with curiosity before settling on you. “Where is the patient?”

“He is upstairs with America and his brother…”

“I am guessing you are the mother.” Doctor Stephen Strange stepped closer to the redhead now sitting on the sofa, her cheeks wearing pillow marks and her hair completely dishevelled.

“I…I am…Hi, sorry I just…” Wanda stood up feeling a little foolish and out of place, Stephen smiled kindly at her stretching his hand.

“No, please, we heard it was a rough night.”

“Yeah, it…it was I just…” Wanda stuttered kicking herself for being such an idiot, she dropped her shoulders wincing lightly. “I guess I need coffee, can I offer you something to drink?”

Christine chuckled waving her hand, “don’t worry, dear, I think coffee sounds perfect…”

“Good then, you and Wanda can go upstairs and Stephen and I will make the coffee and something to eat for everyone, would you like that?” You turned to Wanda who was still far too sleepy, and far too lost to said anything at all, you had taken charge of everything so it seemed and a part of Wanda was thankful for that.

“Yes, that…that sounds good…”

“Okay then, if you lead the way.” Christine took on a professional stance, her tone of voice and ever her glance changed, and as soon as they started making their way upstairs she started asking questions about the twins to Wanda.

“She was happy you called.” Strange stated, sitting down on a chair in the kitchen, you hummed moving around the unknown kitchen trying to locate the coffee maker, and some instant coffee.

“I was happy you guys could make it.” You replied never once looking back at your dad’s best friend.

“So, is she your new girl?”

You almost drop the mug in your hand, your eyes opening wide at the sudden declaration and Stephen merely smirked at your reaction.

“NO!” He winced, and she rolled your eyes trying to get a hold of your voice. “No, no we are neighbours, America babysits for her from time to time.”

“America has a job?” Stephen scrunched up his nose, you chuckled shrugging.

“Yeah, she took it after declaring she felt bored out of her mind and this would teach her some responsibility.” You pursed your lips. “She is right, you know? And, well…Wanda seems to need all the help she can get.”

“I see.” Stephen stood up walking towards the fridge and putting some bacon and milk, going around the place to help you out. “And you…and her…”

“Neighbours.” She stated curtly.

“Right, because you are dating Danvers, right?”

Now he was sounding like a confused parent that was no longer up to date with his child’s demeanours. You sighed rolling your eyes, knowing the questions came for the genuine interested of the man, and not because he wanted to be noisy or intrusive. He was like an uncle to you, and after your parents had died all those who had been part of your parents circle had taken it upon themselves to watch over you and America.

“I’m fucking Carol, there is a difference.” You replied slightly defensively, Stephen made a face shaking his head.

“You are dating her, America told us you invited her over for dinner and that she met her formally this week.” Stephen shot you a triumphant smile, and you could only roll your eyes at that.

Of course, America would mention this to everyone who wanted to hear her.

 “I’m not dating Carol, but I did invite her to dinner and introduce her to America.”

“You know it’s okay to move on, right?” Stephen inquired again, pressing the topic you had tried to evade for as long as your stubbornness allowed it.

You stopped what you were doing, Stephen continued cutting the bacon and serving the eggs and the coffee alongside a cup of warm tea and some crackers. He waited for your answer, hearing the noises of muffled conversation coming from the second floor.

“I’ve been going out with her, and she seems nice, and quite found of me, and the sex it’s incredible and…”

“But you don’t feel anything?”

You sat down shaking your head, “I like her, and of course I feel affection for her, but…”

Stephen nodded in understanding placing the cup of coffee in front of you, he sat by your side taking the tea in his hands.

“I understand.” He blew on the mug before speaking again. “Why do you continue with the relationship, though?”

“I was hoping I would feel something, but I know it’s not fair to her…to me.” You snorted taking a long sip from the black beverage. “I guess that’s why I have been running from you.”

“Ah, the wisdom of the older generation.” Stephen winked at you leaning in. “It’s okay to feel confused, and to want something, Y/N. What it is not correct is to play with someone that may be interested in you.”

“I know.”

Stepehen made a face satisfied with the ending of the conversation, then his eyes drifted to the newcomers that were talking animatedly about some movie. America’s eyes lit up and she soon run towards Stephen hugging him tightly.

“Uncle Strange!”

“Hey, kiddo!” Billy stood unsure at the entrance of the kitchen, he glanced first at America then a Strange and finally at you.

You tilted your head patting the chair beside you.

“Want something to eat, Billy?” He nodded approaching the chair, helped by you he fixed his body to move closer to the counter.

“So, young man, America tells me you are one of the men of the house, is that correct?” Stephen asked serving him a cup of orange juice, Billy opened his eyes big nodding tentatively.

“Perfect, tell me, do you like eggs with bacon or toast with jam?”

Billy pursed his lips thinking hard before talking, “toast with jam.”

“Good selection, my good sir, let’s eat then.”

____________________________________________________________

Saturday night came faster than you thought possible.

Christine and Stephen had spent most of the day with you and America, and most of the morning with Wanda and the twins. You had left your neighbours house with a heavy heart, thought secure in the knowledge Tommy would be just fine and that Wanda and Billy would be okay.

The afternoon had been quite the familiar time, in which America had enjoyed the company of the couple while talking about school and her aspirations for the future. The topic of Carol was not brought again into conversation, but you knew that Christine was thinking the same as Stephen and that most of that conversation had been thanks to America’s own concern.

You took a quick shower before getting inside your bed, your phone had been forgotten most of the day and by the time you finally got to see it the first message that appeared in there was that of Carol.

“Hey, just wondering if you are okay, hope you have an amazing day, Y/N. thinking of you.”

You turned to the side, your mind playing around what had happened in the last day and a half. The twins, Wanda, the conversations and the things that were left unsaid. You knew deep inside your heart you needed to talk to Carol, with a trembling hand you went to write to her but, at the last minute your finger drifted to another chat. A new one.

“Hey, Princess, how are the twins?”

_____________________________________________________________

[multifandomhoodies]

Finnpoe Rec List!

There’s some really fantastic Finnpoe fics out there and I’ve been setting aside fics from my bookmarks for this for a while! These are just some of my faves, so enjoy!! 

Canon/Canon Adjacent (not AUs outside general Star Wars universe) 

“how to become the spark” by sassy_ninja (G - 49.7k

Poe Dameron, commander of the Resistance fleet, best pilot in the galaxy, hotshot trigger-happy flyboy, he's all of these things plus a little bit more. This is the story Poe Dameron, shy farmboy, doting son, idiot gay, soldier who tries his best not to be broken by the war roaring around him and most of all just a human in a galaxy which doesn't care about things like love, friendship and fear. This is how he breaks and how he begins to heal again and how he starts to learn what it means to be alive. Or Poe Dameron's life from his childhood to the end of the war.

“bathed in blue light” by delgay (M - 17.4k)

When Finn turns to his right, Poe stands beside him, looking up at Finn and giving him what might be a smirk if he weren’t too busy smiling. It’s that same smile that’s made home on his face ever since Finn said, “I’d like to see Yavin IV. If I’d be welcome.” Poe had blinked fast, but the smile came slow. “Buddy,” he’d replied, “I’m offended that you even had to ask.”

A year after the Battle of Exegol, Finn and Poe visit Yavin IV. While there, Finn struggles with the Force and his complicated relationship with Poe.

“we slept with our backs against the weather” by bogpersons (T - 8.4k)

Poe’s breaths come in stops and starts, and wheezes on the inhale and exhale. He sounds like a dying man. Finn lifts Poe’s hand to his lips, presses it there, squeezes his eye shut. Something harsh and painful swells in his chest, finds a place under his heart and pushes and pushes and pushes until Finn can barely breathe with it. You are a Human Person. Finn and Poe crash on a jungle planet. Finn struggles with himself.

“We Stan A Healthy Family Dynamic (The Kes Verse)” by AphroditesTummyRolls SERIES (Not rated, 161.7k)

Get in losers, we're giving the Star Wars Sequel cast the story they deserved-- Particularly Poe and Finn.

[Set after the events of TFA, rewrites of TLJ and neat little bits in-between. Poe deals with the aftermath Kylo Ren’s interrogation, dealing with regret and trauma, with the help of his friends and dad through a rewrite of TLJ.]

“your love will be safe with me” by incalyscent (T - 8.6k)

when finn stripped away the violence from himself, what did he have left? it was love; love; love.

“i’m yours (and suddenly you’re mine) by spacepilotprince (E - 4.3k)

Finn snorts against Poe's stomach, and it forces a ticklish laugh out of him. “Laying it on a little thick tonight, aren't you?” Finn asks as he looks up at Poe, and finds that grin he heard in his voice.

“Not the only thing that's thick,” Poe says with a smirk, glancing down between them towards Finn's cock.

“Oh, shut up,” Finn laughs, surging up to kiss him, muffling Poe's laughter. Poe runs his hands over Finn's shoulders and tips his head aside, sending Finn's mouth down his jaw and neck.

“Contact” by earthmylikeness (M - 9.9k)

Because what could Finn do but live through it? Live in the remains of his own shipwrecked mind, his badly-crossed wires. Imagine Poe’s perpetually bitten mouth on him - his wide, calloused hands on his bare chest, pulling him down and down whenever he so much as closes his eyes. 

Finn has a delayed reaction to surviving the crash.

“Best Laid Efforts” by cosmicocean (T - 3.7k) @cosmicoceanfic

In which Jessika and Temmin do their best, aren't even subtle about it, and Poe and Finn are still morons.

“Ad Pacem” by SteveTrevorsStarship (T - 1.5k) 

Finn knows war and rebellion so far. He doesn’t know peace. (Yet.)

“First Comes the Night” by coffeeinallcaps (E - 20.1k)

He doesn’t get nightmares. He doesn’t dream about the mask, the cries of the villagers, waking up in the desert with a blinding headache and his mouth filled with blood and the man who’d saved him gone, most likely dead. Instead, he just can’t sleep.

“have you heard” by peradi (Not rated, 42.1k)

"I heard FN-2187 was a Stormtrooper." 

Finn sparks a revolution.

“Doubt” by Cadoan (T - 1.4k) 

After the battle of Crait, something has changed in Poe. Poe can't sleep, and Finn goes to find him.

“Neither Here Nor There” by d8rkmessengr (T - 7.8k)

Sometimes, it felt like he wasn't really here. Sometimes, it felt like it wasn't really over. And the one person who tethered him left to finally tell Rey something. Post The Rise of Skywalker.

“How to Be a Finn” by Ayashiki (G - 111k)

In a hindsight, all of it - the stolen childhood, the crash on Jakku, Han Solo's death, even the lightsaber to the back - was easier than living in this world of invisible social clues and inside jokes, the whirlwind of this ragtag family that defied any logic, the caring, the compassion, the love. And all the while people tell him: Finn, you are so brave! Finn, you are so strong! Finn, you are so kind! Finn, thank you for saving my life! And FN-2187 looks to the stars and desperately tries to find this "Finn" everyone seems to know in himself.

“On the Other Side” by StarMaple (T - 27.2k)

Finn discovers the differences first hand between the First Order and the Resistance and establishes a space for himself on D'Qar.

“we are all stardust” by synergenic (Losseflame) (Not rated, 15.3k)

Finn wakes up. He wakes up slow, the rising tide of consciousness making him aware, firstly, of how stale his mouth tastes. Then it's the general stiffness of his body, the foreign feeling of a pillow beneath his head, the softness of the clothes he's wearing. Finn doesn't think he's ever worn clothes so soft.

“No Sleep till Brooklyn” by TheCarrot (T first chapter, second chapter E, - 10.4k)

Poe is exhausted. And not just because he hasn’t slept for more than three hours at a time in Force knows how long. Moreover it’s the 39 flights he’s run in the last 22 days and the fact Pava had gotten deathlike sick eight days ago and then they had fallen behind on a few supply runs and an emergency evacuations of some of their pathfinders and then there had been a last minute scramble to one of their allies in the mid rim with far too many TIEs to be comfortable and then- well, Poe just wants to fall over onto the floor and stay there.

AUs

“Time of the Underdog” by beeeawolf, SERIES. (G & T, 56k)

Modern times AU, Poe is a former Navy pilot who was discharged after a crash and being a POW. Finn is a university student who manages to catch Poe’s run away dog, BB-8, who’s literally everything to him.

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” by MayGlenn and cognomen (E - 10.7k)

There’s a calm that claims them all when they’re working and it’s going the way it’s supposed to; the low-level hum of concentration and focus and adrenaline that keeps them on edge without panic. The crew deploys from Idaho, a home base that they see perhaps 3 weeks out of the entire 26 week fire season, interspersed with time in camps and housing all over the country. This week, it’s California—sunny, liberal, beach lined, and on fire.

Finn's a Hotshot firefighter; Poe's the team Helitack operator. They're headed to California to fight a fire in San Jacinto; dangerous country.

“It’s Not Goodbye” by mssrj_335 (T - 25.9k)

Finn is an ex-soldier on a solo motorcycle trip across America. Poe is the mechanic in a small desert town. Poe wants to keep his secrets and Finn is running from something--or toward it--and the part for his bike is going to take at least a week to come in. What starts as a quick stop and awkward flirt devolves into a conspiratorial intrigue of a very personal nature. Lights in the desert, headaches and vague memories all point Finn to something that has Poe tied in knots. He just has no idea how far that something will take him.

“A Possibility (A Promise)” by sapphistication (T - 5.9k)

Poe, Prince of Yavin, is briefly reunited with the Resistance Fighters lead by General Leia Organa. After three years apart, he quickly finds that his affections for Finn are of a different nature than he remembers. Despite the war they find themselves in, they share a few moments of peace by the fire, filled with soft words and meaningful smiles. Time works against them, but Poe seeks a possibility and makes a promise.

[eldritch-elrics]

svsss: binghe callout party + the system’s punishment

so much happened in these chapters oh my god. i can’t believe i’m on chap 74 of 81

tldr: sqq needs to stop procrastinating on his sexuality crisis, also yay for cqms protecting its own but oh no for binghe discovering the truth about his parents, also COOL system penalty. oh and fake internet drama my beloved

zzl my poor, poor boy. i hate that he killed gongyi xiao but :((( he’s trying so hard to be nice to sqq!!! sqq’s making it so hard for him!

it’s also really interesting how fixated on repaying debts/revenges he is. i know it’s demon culture being different from human culture but i am going hmm… neurodivergence momence….

tlj, completely unprompted, once again: huh, so sqq likes threesomes does he? very interesting…

sqq saying he trusts binghe <3

seems like sqq believes binghe will change. i also believe in him! though seeing what lbh’s been like, we’ll see how fast that change happens lol.

sqq also says later that most of the tension between him and lbh has been a misunderstanding, which… yeah that’s fair enough. but sqq is very much at fault for a lot of that misunderstanding! because he is (or used to be, at least) shit at communication! at least he’s been taking responsibility

always astounded by how much effort liu qingge goes through to rescue sqq, whether that’s just his body or his actual person. sqq is really just drowning in men who want to do things for him

sqh confessing everything and babbling at lqg <3 and oh my god he fought mobei-jun?

binghe: only two rooms thanks :3 i don’t have money for more :3

liu qingge: i’ll fucking kill you

i really do want to see the scene of lbh and lqg trying to share a room. i was hoping maybe they would do some enemies-to-friends bro bonding but it seems like it’s too early for that… grudges like that can’t be fixed in one night...

we’re almost at chapter 70 and sqq still thinks he’s straight.

funny that the system says it needs to save resources? that feels like a bad excuse. there’s never been a problem like that before… and doesn’t it make sense for the system to just have infinite resources? i’m very interested in this statement. maybe it’s just bluffing to make itself seem less powerful than it is / delay sqq’s gratification

the fact that it’s not giving him any new coolness points is probably a good thing, since he spends all of them a couple chapters later. maybe sqq will gain back all those he lost in a rush at the end of the month

SQQ IS SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT GETTING HIS FAN BACK I LOVE HIM

binghe serving him breakfast waaaa

as far as i recall, binghe’s the only one who’s been able to make the system give sqq prompts with multiple-choice answers. protagonist power! one more piece of evidence for the idea that lbh’s subconscious is what influences the system most

lqg kicking doors down is so normal that sqq doesn’t react

poor zzl for the dozenth time: gets used as a seat cushion :(

this entire next part is just Hurting Binghe Hours

this scene felt super mdzs. it’s like… stirring up a giant crowd against someone, with the intention of ruining their reputation? reminiscent of jinlan city too of course but that theme of reputation is so central to mdzs that it made me think. also the whole thing about lbh being a bastard/otherwise outside the cultivation world norm... hmm.....

“tianlang-jun is not my father. i don’t need a father.”

fucks me up…

lqg and yqy: *knocks ten angry cultivators away from sqq* oops my hand slipped

lbh ran away… bingqiu separated once more :(

ohhhhh my god the system penalty. i had totally forgot about the whole “sending him back to his original world” thing but i’m so glad it got brought up again. all the peak lords must be worried sick haha... hopefully he’ll wake up in his bed in qing jing peak or something later and it’ll all be ok

meeting og!lbh… god i got chills. that part was so good

i can’t help but notice he lost his right arm and left leg….. just like edward elric……

that’s such a good system punishment tbh like.. it’s not sending him back to HIS original world, but it’s sort of like sending him to sqq’s original world, for just a few minutes…

yay meng mo saved him!

not surprised at how bad shen jiu’s situation was. i will have to read more about it later!!

i’m so close to the end holy shit. i expect we’ll get some more bingqiu development soon but it’s so funny that sqq hasn’t even realized he’s not straight, let alone that he likes lbh! i guess this novel is really their getting-together story more than anything (we’ve got the extras for established relationship stuff) but i feel like there’s still so much left to resolve!

speaking of extras… there’s an extra chapter plopped right in the middle here? thanks mxtx lol

ok my take is: reading fake internet drama is so FUCKING funny

i do not know anything about chinese webnovel internet culture but this scene still rings so true to me… people on web forums just be like that huh

airplane is so excited about all the arguing sjkdhsjd

the fact that peerless cucumber is labeled an expert.

peerless cucumber up in here with his fantastic takes like “the monsters are so much more interesting than the endless wives” and “the only good bit is binghe’s arc”

the person who comments “cucumber bro wrote so many words just to hate on it, must be true love”

the person who comments “hey guys wanna read my bingqiu slash”

the handful of comments that are like “the romance between binghe and the women is terrible but the relationships he has with the male characters are emotional and moving” just go to solidify my “airplane is gay and knows jack shit about women” theory

again, araki jojo vibes

what a way to die, airplane

and he was thinking of sqq too! just like sqq was thinking about him when he died :) it’s fate!

[feather-dancer]

Trollhunters Fanfic Recommendations - Part 3

Somehow there is now a third one of these because I read far far too much fanfic and have no regrets about it. It’s with great pleasure I can also announce I’ve been digging around for Trans Jim fics and found some gems while I was at it that have been included below.

You can find Part 1 of my fanfic recommendations here!

And Part 2 here!

Plus one shameless plug for my own current fics.

General Trollhunters

(And you're my Arcadia.) - All you need to know is it’s Jilaire post Season 3 and one line in particular made me burst out laughing.

Bitter[sweet] - Sometimes the thing you need most is just a really good friend when your body plain sucks. Contains Trans Jim and is delightful.

the red book - Far beyond the humble days of Season 3 and after living beyond his human family and friends, Jim has started to forget who he was and that he was ever just a human kid.

The Halls of Arcadia High - When Strickler disappeared in Season 1, his absence was felt in many ways even in the form of a humble piano left un-played.

Not - Not!Enrique isn’t his name yet it’s what they call him anyway. An albatross reminding him of what was taken before he even had a chance to start.

On the Radio  - The final telling of the Janus Order.

Gay stories for Tales of Arcadia - Yeah I’m pretty sure you can guess where this is going, LGBTQ+ rep!

Through the Fires - There was a before time, one where Gunmar still roamed free and Deya had yet to be chosen let alone felled. These are the words of the humble witnesses of that war, from the changelings to the trolls who would oppose them.

Trollhunters: A Series of Disjointed Drabbles - This is so cute and fluffy I might just spontaneously combust.

Insomnolence - It is after the final battle and Jim has a lot of thoughts.

another tragedy - Anxiety is a bastard, it gives a lot of bad thoughts but sometimes there is a little bit of truth buried beneath it all and it whispers all about how you can keeping doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Season 2.

i will always hold you close (but i will learn to let you go) - Sometimes the hardest thing you can do is learning when to let go. Sometimes however, even when you want to they hold back even tighter. Season 2.

your eyes look like coming home - Toby has been the witness from the start of just how close Jim has been to death multiple times over and how Jim he is about the whole thing. It scares him how this time might be it, again and again. Season 2.

The Collected Tellings of Shigir and Other Changeling Folktales - I don’t actually know which category to put this under so I’m going the to heck with it route instead. Does exactly what it says on the tin for your Changeling lore needs, some of which will be off-hand mentioned or outright appear during the fantastic Terpsichore - The Comedy of the Danse Macabre - ACT I.

Please note: The main fic is Stricklake if that’s not your cup of tea, the folktales however can be enjoyed regardless.

~~~

Stricklake

all that dazzling dawn has put asunder - The sequel to in my sleep i dreamed of waking, this is filled with delightful fluff, internal panicking and the joys of trying to explain how you’re a not and how that does not change the fact Strickler is still a was. Being a changeling in these strange after times are difficult even before the other baggage involved but at least you're still here to start.

Two Pisces in Alto Mare - When in Rome as part of a study trip abroad, you meet the most curious people sometimes and  by fluke or nature you may even do so more than once.

Filling The Gaps - Possibly a bit of an unusual mention but! These are little pieces of Fallout that were going on while our eyes were following elsewhere and boy it can hurt.

Rehearsals and DvD Bonus Features - Another from the home of Terpsichore - The Comedy of the Danse Macabre - ACT I which is being listed here because it does have Stricklake in it. Some things don’t make the cut with writing fanfic, either because the plot wandered off, it doesn’t fit right or it’s some backstory you haven’t quite figured out where it can be naturally brought up yet and in this case they’ve found themselves a home. Be warned, one particular chapter is explicit and has been marked as such in warnings in the chapter summary.

~~~

Alternate Universes

(Un)Becoming - Not technically an AU in the conventional sense but I’m putting it under here anyway. It’s Unbecoming, as ever the road to hell is paved with good intentions but as Jim threw in the towel the storm that’s coming will not be stopped. However, what if others caught glimpses of a world that still had a human Trollhunter to defend it?

Steve the Kind - Steve became the Trollhunter but how the adventure unfolds differently than when Jim was at the helm might just surprise you. Very slow burn Steve and Jim that in a rather refreshing change doesn’t throw Claire under the bus for it to happen. Praise be.

31 Days in the Darklands - Strickmar that somehow kinda works?? It helps with Gunmar having the space to breathe outside of getting Morgana out and be more of his own character. Storywise, in order to rescue Jim from the Darklands Strickler broke a deal that would cost his own freedom and now has to somehow maintain a treaty between three very different factions all the while keeping his own neck intact. The intense distrust in changelings continues on to boot but hey, nobody said politics was easy.

Building Bridges - So Gunmar is distinctly of the more Eldritch variety with dream powers, the ability to easily see through lies for the true emotions and thoughts, Bular has the Insight as well to a lesser extent and everyone has somehow managed to hop onto Stricklander’s bandwagon of we must protect Jim Lake Jr. at all costs. Now the race is on as both sides try to sway the young Trollhunter to their way of thinking and the Trollmarket has no idea how dangerously badly they’re doing so far.

Lost Souls - A fic written in variable snapshots. Jim was kidnapped and changed by Merlin far earlier to be his Champion to ensure he did the “right thing” while Barbara in desperation to find her son falls into the hands of Morgana thus mother and son become enemies without even realising it.

Faithfully - Barbara died overseas and yet somehow Jim still managed to make his way back to Arcadia to become the next Trollhunter. This road is far harder for it as a seemingly homeless orphan though on the flipside he keeps on acquiring dads. Contains Trans Jim, timeline variable snapshots and I love it very much.

The Burning - There was a fire, it killed Barbara and Jim was thought dead as well. Nobody could have guessed the feral half changeling that is running around like a cryptid is the very much alive Jim.

Finding Daylight - Jim is a very low ranking changeling, terrified of Bular and his home amounts to little more than a spot in the woods. Things started to go pear shaped for him when he accidentally stumbled over Blinky and only more so when the amulet picks him after Kanjigar is felled. Tis not a kind world for a changeling child out there and he has nobody really to help watch his back until he stumbles on a potential maybe.

~~~

The bonus shoutout for an excellent MSA fic   

A Sleep Like Death - Who wouldn’t want to go visit a tower you’ve inherited apparently and has haunted as all hell all over it? Not Vivi that’s for sure. Poor Arthur is just along for the ride and then things start to get really weird when they find it’s still occupied and thinks Arthur is his jailor.

[the-crowess]

Altrovough: Adventure on Every Horizon

Chapter 1: Out of the Dark I hadn't been playing for six months. Not because it had become too expensive. Not because work became too much for me. Not because I got a significant other. Not because the community was bad or anything like that. No, I hadn't played in six months because my avatar was stuck in a trap.

            There are glitches, you see. Somehow in this modern VR experience there are still glitches. And with glitches comes assholes who use those glitches to their advantage.

            So, here's what happened to me: Me and my party went into a dungeon. We split up. Two went one way, two went the other, and I (though I protested) was by myself. Even though I had a lantern when I walked down into the hallway it was completely black. That should have been my first clue that this was a trap of some sort. My lantern still had fire, but no light was being produced from it. Being promised treasure and being a dumbass, I continued forward into the dark. After walking just far enough into the hallway to make the doorway disappear, I sprung a tile trap.

            The floor beneath me sloped downward and I fell rolling after it. Head over heels I fell until I smacked my face and passed out.

            I woke up in chains. I was propped up against a wall. My wrists above my head were on short chains, and my ankles on longer chains.

            Okay, I thought, no biggy. I'll just restart the day.

            Okay, so that didn't work. Which is weird... I'll call my party members...

            No service? What the fuck? That's not even an element in this game!

            Well, uh, okay I guess I'll just bust out of these—rusty—old—chains!

            ...

            Nope.

            After exhausting my options, then exhausting them again I logged off.

For months I kept receiving messages that players were interacting with my avatar, so I would log on, only for them to laugh at me and be utterly and completely unhelpful.

            My party visited me four separate times. And all of those times were to make fun or my misfortune, even though they knew that ANYTIME they could unlock the chains and release me. The first time it was all of them together. The captain Jockster (or Jerkstar as I call him) had squatted down in front of me and said, "this is what you get, you know. Playing this way has consequences. Thanks for taking one for the team." Then he had laughed like the drug addicted jackass he was. The others laughed with him. The second time it was only Aliciandria (our rouge) and Marlquan (our cleric). They had been discussing what to do with me when Alicandria accidentally kicked my foot and I responded, and I woke up to them talking about if they should just kill me so that they wouldn't have to worry about how people were judging them for not helping me. The third time it was just Havanio (the sorcerer). He woke me up, then sat across from me and said nothing for an hour. He just sat there like a fucking douchebag and looked at me like I was some caged beast put there for his entertainment. And the last time doesn't matter.

            Players of all kinds and from all districts would stop by only to laugh at me. I became a joke, and even more that that I became a meme! Screenshots of my avatar hanging there like a prisoner spread all over the internet. To add to my torture, a player whose avatar was a homely goblin woman would harass me constantly.

            Behind the happy smile of someone who literally baked cookies for visitors was a demented maniac. This guy—I know she is a he because he fucking DM'd me dick pics. I think he harassed me for three reasons: 1) I fell right into his trap 2) My avatar is a hot man and I think Little Miss Goblin Man is gay or more likely bi and uncomfortable with his sexuality 3) I think he thought he figured out that the gender of my avatar and the gender of myself might not be the same, and he was definitely trying to intimidate me. This asshole physically and sexually harassed my avatar, and I couldn't even report it!

            Not like I didn't try to report it—when I did the staff would send in an NPC (Non-Player Character) and see literally nothing. So, in this trap: it's a glitch mixed with a non-invasive virus; meaning the virus only effects this one spot and not the whole server or game. It can't get into your computer. It like can't get past the firewalls or something I don't really know.

            So, not only did this jack-wad figure out a way to trap me, but he also figured out how to keep his dirty deeds hidden from the staff. For almost three months I continued to check in. Two weeks after the initial incident I jumped at every UAN (Unconscious Avatar Notification) but I quickly learned that nobody wanted to help me, they all just wanted to see if the rumors were true and maybe get a picture. Eventually I stopped responding and eventually my avatar fell out of the popular meme rotation.

...

BEEP. BEEP. UAN! Someone's interacting with your character! 😊

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!! Someone's interacting with your character.

BEEP. BEEP. UAN!!! Respond you asshole! You should log on!

"Uhg! Fine!"

I left my lunch (thinking I would return to it real soon) and went to my game room to log on.

I woke to a girl poking my cheek. I snapped at her fingers.

"Oh! Fuck!" She pulled her hand away, shaking off the close call, "you're hard to wake up! Not much for answering your UAN's huh?"

Standing over me was a girl of maybe nineteen. Her clothes draped and flowed about figure in Cleric glory. Great. A fucking cleric. She wouldn't've stood out more. Dark skin with undoubtably "sea green" eyes. Her hair was done up in some completely unattainable style that was loopy with braids and pigtails sectioned into pompoms; it was a shade of maroon that says, "I'm a supporting character, but I want to think I'm a main character!"

"Is it true you've been down here six months?"

"O.O.G."

"What?"

"Out. Of. Game. I've been 'down here' six months out of game."

"Holy cow, man! That's a while."

"Did you need something?"

"Excuse me?"

I made cold eye contact with her, "Did. You. Need. Something?"

"Uh... wellllllll, I heard a rumor that there was some poor fuck stuck down here who can't get himself out."

"Oh. Fantastic." An awkward silence split between us, "well, thanks for stopping by. Take a screenshot, it'll last longer."

She stared blankly at me, "no. I think you misunderstand. I'm here to help you."

"What."

"I'm here to help you."

I couldn't think. Couldn't fathom this thing unfolding in front of me, "what?"

She began to fiddle with the chains on my wrist.

"Wait, no!"

She looked down at me the way a mom would look at her two-year-old who says he doesn't want to eat mashed potatoes because they have eyes and he doesn't want to eat mashed eyeballs.

"Wait." As my heart pounded loudly in my chest, I asked her, "what do you want from me? Like, you—you can't just want to let me go. You must want something from me."

She sat back down on her heels and looked away, her lips followed her eyes away from me and back, and she said, "Well, no. Not really. Like I said: I heard there might be some poor fuck who was trapped and couldn't get out on his own. I thought for my first adventure, I'd go get 'im." Then she went right back to messing with the chains.

I laughed and shook my head.

She stood up and put her hands on her hips, pouting. Lordy, she was cute. The puzzled look on her face gave me some hope that maybe she might actually be able to save me. With a huff she sat down again and confessed, "you're the only reason I got this game. You're a meme, a legend. You're so classic that you're practically nonexistent. Every time this game comes up in social media you're mentioned. On all the subreddits, and in the deepest parts of tumblr—you're there. I just had to come see if you were real, and I was—and still am—planning that if you were actually here that I would help you out."

"No catch?"

"No catch."

I smiled to myself, knowing now that it was I who had the advantage. I could use her. After all, every party needs a healer. Now I just had to make sure she wouldn't ditch me anytime soon. "Are you sure you don't want to try and find a catch? I was a level 52 before this whole ordeal."

She perked up, "what's your level now, cowboy?"

"35."

"What?! You're so dilapidated and all your equipment was stolen. H-HOW?"

"Cause I'm just that awesome." This should do it.

"I've changed my mind!"

Perfect.

"I want you as a bodyguard! For two years—"

"One year."

"Alright, one year." She looked like she wanted to ask me to shake on it, but then thought better of it, "can I please help you out now?"

"Yes."

Very quickly, and with very little trouble she released me from my chains. Bruises and scars tattooed my wrists and ankles. How the coding of this game works is literally so fucking far beyond me. I pulled my limbs into myself, feeling the stiff resistance of time.

"Can you get up?"

Without needing to consider it I said, "no, I don't think so. Do you have any potions that will give me a boost?"

"Oh yes! I knew that if I found you, you'd need medical help immediately, so I spent all the gold from my—"

"All your gold??? Are you stupid?"

"Whaaaa? I-I... I—just—"

"Whatever. We'll figure it out. What potions do you have?"

She nodded very curtly, and pulled up her bag contents and read them off to me: "fifteen Good Health Potions, fifteen Great Health Potions, fifteen Fantastic Health Potions, ten Boost 'Ems, seven Leaves Of Health, two Gladiator Liquid Bandages and two Beats of Life. What'll it be?"

"Gimme a Boost 'Em."

She tapped on the icon and a Boot 'Em materialized in her hand. She put it out to me, but when I grabbed for it, she pulled away. I of course made eye contact with her, thinking she was gonna pull a fast one on me. Instead she said, "Valhalla."

"What?" My immediate confusion fell away into fear. This must be a trick. But why would she do that? It doesn't make any sense. I'm clearly smarter than her. It's me that's tricking her, why would she—

"That's my name. Valhalla."

The interruption of my panicked thinking threw me off guard. That's a stupid name. Before I could tell her how stupid I thought her name was she put the Boost 'Em in my hand.

Taking the potion, I had trouble removing the cork. Valhalla silently offered her help, but I shooed her away. I grumbled something about how I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.

With much effort and significant struggling, I yanked the cork out and threw it over my shoulder. Only for it to bounce off the wall and back into my lap. With the kind of drunken vigor seen at taverns I swallowed the creamy blue liquid. The moment it touched my lips, a feeling of power hit me like caffeine in a low-calorie energy drink. Going down my throat it felt like warm milk and honey. Electrifying energy flowed outward from my middle. It snaked its way through my arms and legs. It made my fingers and toes tingle like pins and needles.

I leapt up, a new man. I knew this wouldn't last long, and I knew that later this would end up hurting me more, but fuck.

Fuck this feels good.

"Do you have any weapons?"

"Uh, yeah." Valhalla pulled up her bag again and tapped on the Equipment tab. "What do you want?"

There were certainly more weapons than should have been in her bag if she had just started, let alone had spent all her starter gold on potions. I chose to ignore this. "I'll take the mace." I reached up and engaged with the weapon. The heavy steel handle materialized in my outstretched hand. By the look on her face, it must have been the first time Valhalla had seen anyone engage. I'm glad I was able to be the one to show her, in all the glory I could muster.

"This is a pretty nasty weapon, baby." I swung it a couple of times, feeling the weight; testing the blow power.

"I picked it up because I liked the color!"

I laughed, "I guess I overlooked the purple steel, but this will do nicely."

"Nicely for what?"

"Do me a favor, doll. You see that door over there? Go knock."

"Okay, but," she came right up close to me and stuck her face in mine, "I'm not a fucking doll."

"Noted."

I followed her as she warily walked to the door of the goblin woman's kitchen. Valhalla knocked timidly on the door.

"Come in!" The goblin wench cooed, "I just baked some fresh cookies! We can pose next to the body if you want!"

I caught Valhalla frown and furrow her brows at "the body".

Oh how sweet this will taste, I thought as adrenaline pumped through my veins. I passed in front of Valhalla whispering, "stay back."

I slid through the open door. The goblin hag had her back to me, this couldn't have been planned more perfectly. I crept up behind her with my mace raised above my head and my six-foot-five shadow engulfed her. She turned around with horror, a tray of cookies in hand. Her eyes widened and she tensed as if she were to scream.

But I didn't give her a chance.

"Your actions have consequences."

I let the mace fall down upon her head. The crack of her skull resonated harmoniously with the clang of the cookie sheet on the ground. Giddy joy sprung forth from me as I smashed the mace into her again and again. The second blow shattered her ribcage. Her ribs sprang up and splintered through her tissue. Smashing her hands made her fingers pop off, they flew in all directions. A blow to her thigh created a fountain. Warm blood hit my bare chest, my exposed legs. It splattered on my face. It coated my hands. It made the mace slippery in my hands. Her blood soaked what little was left of my shorts. It sprayed the walls, the kitchy table and chairs, the coffee pot and baking ingredients. Blood decorated the cookies that now laid scattered on the floor. 

Satisfied by the pulpy mound of oozing, squirting flesh and bone I subsided. Reaching down, I tore a blood-soaked rag from her dress. Turning to the wall I wrote LEAVE.

Standing back, I let out a heavy sigh. The effects of the Boost 'Em would soon wear off. I turned around and cracked my neck. I looked over in Valhalla's direction, but over her head. "I need some new clothes." I declared.

She stared at me. Her eyes pulled mine in and her mouth morphed into a grin, "fuck. YEAH!"

"Huh??????"

"Dude she called you 'the body'. And we both know that she was the reason you were stuck down here. Plus: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I am so glad I came to find you! Best $130 dollars I ever spent." She then ran up and hugged me. The contact made me tense up.

I shook out of her embrace, "let's get out of this dungeon."

She led the way out. It was different from the way I had come in. We walked down the hallway that I had stared at for so long, hoping that somebody, anybody would come for me. Not ten feet into the tunnel we turned a corner and there was the exit. My stomach dropped. I felt sick.

It had been so close the whole time. Learning this made me want to revive that sonofabitch just to kill her all over again.

Emerging into the sunlight hurt my eyes. I was blinded.

What a sight we must have been. Myself: six-five, soaked in blood, starved, almost naked. Her: small, sweet-looking, fresh-faced, and not a drop of blood on her.

I still couldn't really see when somebody started talking. "Hey, are you guys okay?"

"Oh, we're fine," Valhalla sang sweetly sang sweetly next to me. At that very moment, I lost all my energy. My health bar plummeted, and sirens rang through my headset. My vison flashed red. I fell to the ground.

The group that had approached watched, alarmed. Valhalla looked like she wanted to eat her words.

Stupid girl. She had no idea what to do.

I had fifteen seconds before I'd die. This had happened once before when my former party and I had just started the game. We got attacked by a level 20 dragon and one strike had me seeing red.

10 seconds.

They were bickering about the best course of action. They had no idea I was on the brink of death. Valhalla stared at me looking like a lost idiot.

The sky began to spin. Valhalla's blurry silhouette swayed above me.

Did she forget about all that stuff she bought? How many gaming hours did she log before she came to find me? Did she even go on the tutorial adventure? I mean, you can technically skip it, but—

"BEAT." I coughed out then my head lolled.

The party erupted into tense panic.

5 seconds.

Oh please, please Valhalla. Please don't let me die. After all, you told me you came to save me. So save me!

Just as if she could hear my internal pleas, a beat was shoved in my mouth and my jaw forced upward from the outside to crush it. The juicy tuber gushed in my mouth. I felt Valhalla's hand on my lips, pressing down to keep everything in. I'd heard rumors of the experience of Beat of Life. Some players said they almost wish their party members would have let them die. The juice was hot, potent, and sour. So sour is made my jaw ache. It felt like someone was twisting a wheel, making my jaw tighter and tighter. My teeth felt like they were going to pop out of their gums. It burned my throat, made my eyes water and my nose run. My stomach did not want to accept it. I wanted to throw up, but I couldn't move. Hot flashes waved through my body. An ocean of churning heat pushed and pulled at my organs, my brain. I could feel myself sweating. Growing hotter by the moment. My head swam. My limbs grew numb. I passed out.

I was saved. Unconscious, but saved.

But Valhalla didn't know that. Stupid girl, skipping the tutorial. What was she thinking? Guess I'd have to ask her when I woke up.

And so I took off my headset and it was dusk.

[maddestzoomer]

honey and glass

chapter one - early morning thoughts

read on ao3

summary: The feelings Max has for Eleven both alarm and attract her. Now that the girl she likes has moved away, it's time Max comes to terms with her emotions.

warnings: swearing, violence, homophobia, neil hargrove being an asshole, grief, general angst

word count: 2.3k

a.n.

- i thought this would be a really cute concept, so i decided to turn it into a story :) if you end up with any thoughts, feelings, or helpful criticisms about this concept, feel free to share them by either messaging me or leaving them in the comments! <3

OCTOBER 21st, 1986

Who do you think of in the early mornings?

When the sun flirts with the treetops and your throat aches with dryness, who lingers in the back of your mind?

For Max, it's almost always Eleven. Sometimes it's Billy and sometimes it's even her dad, Sam, but more often than not, it's flashes of that lovely brunette.

Now, though, thoughts of El don't just happen in the early mornings when one's brain is foggy and grey. It happens when she reads a comic or when she skates past the destroyed remnants of Starcourt. It happens when she hangs out with Lucas or when she listening to sappy '80s love songs.

Oddly enough, thoughts of El almost always come whirl around Max's mind when she's around a girl named Robin.

The two had gotten to know one another rather awkwardly, both being sat down on a stretcher as firefighters and other EMS workers buzzed like busy bees around them. There's no better way to meet a new friend than through shared trauma, right?

Robin tried to comfort the shocked, crying Max through distracting stories, but the words got jumbled and the stories turned soupy. Enough so that Max ended up laughing a bit, though it was a sad laugh. It was a laugh that still held pained tears in her eyes- but it was better than nothing.

Over the months, the two had gotten closer; sort of becoming the female friendship equivalent of Steve and Dustin.

Their friendship is pleasant and comforting. Robin acts almost as though she were the big sibling Max never got to (and will never again get to) have. Plus, it was nice to have another girl around after Eleven left.

Max was pulled from her thoughts as she heard Neil walk down the hallway, all slow feet and heavy steps. She felt her chest grow tight and her stomach twist as she clenched her jaw.

Ever since Billy's death, Neil has been absolute hell to be around. An almost constant haze of alcohol and cigarette smoke follows him like a kicked dog, making him sour at his best and raging at his worst.

Max gripped her blanket tightly as Neil walked past her door, which was thankfully closed.

It's officially been a year since she moved from California, now being October in Hawkins. One full rotation around the Sun was enough to completely toss her world upon its head.

It was strange to think about how different her life was when she was back in California. All the people she didn't know, all the feelings she didn't have.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Sometimes she thought about what her life would have been if she'd stayed in California and lived with her dad- but she didn't like paying much mind to those thoughts given how little they changed anything.

Her feet were greeted with cold floors, earning a soft cringe from Max as she stood up. Walking to her dresser, she got out a pair of jeans and an old, sun-bleached t-shirt.

It was Saturday, and Max's plans for the day were relatively nonexistent, though she did know she'd like to stop by and visit with Robin for a little while.

She had a few questions she needed answering and she figured (hoped, mostly) Robin may have been able to help.

She got dressed, then brushed her hair and teeth before washing her face with cold water.

Today felt heavy, which was strange. Normally, once the sun greeted the sky, icky feelings were banished to a corner of Max's mind until the moon again rose. It was easier that way; to smile and laugh without worrying, even if it wasn't genuine.

Maybe the icky feeling had to do with the questions Max wanted to ask Robin, or maybe it had to do with the fact Max hardly got any sleep.

Whatever it was, though, Max didn't want to think about it much longer, and so she ignored it.

Max was fantastic at ignoring feelings. Some would call it compartmentalizing, but Max would call it self preservation.

She grabbed her jean jacket, shouldering it on before slipping on a pair of shoes, then picking her skateboard up. It was still early- 7:48 am to be more specific- so she figured the rest of the party would still be sleeping, but probably not Robin. The girl was the queen of rising early in the morning.

Slowly, she came from her room, already smelling early morning cigarette smoke and misplaced anger.

Her stomach twisted in knots as she heard some rummaging in the kitchen- a glass fall and then some mumbled curses.

Just then, she decided breakfast wouldn't be a priority today. Quietly, she closed her door again before heading to her window.

She opened the window, biting down on her bottom lip as it squeaked open.

Softly, she huffed as she tossed her skateboard from the window, then jumping down with an uncomfortable thud.

Fall whispers in the chilly early morning air, telling of the winter that's to come.

Max runs a hand through her thick hair, picking her board up before beginning to walk to the road where she could ride.

If she were being completely honest, Max seriously isn't a morning person- but she can appreciate how quiet the world becomes when the sun has just barely risen and how it can feel like the world is yours, even if only for a little while.

. . .

If there was one thing Max was usually thankful for, it's the fact Robin doesn't live all that far from her house- Only a fifteen-minute ride on skateboard.

Today, however, Max wasn't as thankful for her friend's close residence. Maybe this wasn't the right thing to do... but who else could she turn to? Who did she trust enough to tell her secret to?

Secrets are what define people, as opposed to what one decides to show the world. There's a type of safety that comes with secret-keeping- but there's also insecurity and doubt.

So... how would the world react to a girl loving another girl?

That single thought made Max chew on the flesh inside her cheek, beginning to feel her pulse quicken. What even was love, anyway? Max knew gay people existed- men who loved men and women who loved women. After all, she was raised near San Francisco.

Robin had already come out to Max.

Well- sort of.

Max had jokingly asked Robin if she was crushing on anyone, to which Robin grew quiet. Quiet enough for it to become worrisome.

Max became stressed when she saw Robin beginning to drift off, and so she immediately apologized for asking a seemingly invasive question, which only made Robin chuckle a little awkwardly

"I... uh," Robin let out a sharp breath, smiling faintly "You wouldn't know her."

Her?

Max didn't press Robin any further after that. She felt she didn't need to, and on top of that, she didn't want to make Robin any more uncomfortable than she already clearly was.

That was a couple of months ago, and the topic of sexuality hasn't come up since. That isn't to say Max hasn't thought about what Robin said.

Max thought of her interaction with Robin often. It was the reason Max hoped talking with Robin would help answer some of her questions... But at the same time, the questions she had made her feel uncomfortably queasy.

The very last thing Max wanted to do would be to damage her friendship between her and Robin, and there was a part of her that thought the questions she had would make the older girl want to sever their friendship.

Max swallowed down harshly as she realized she was nearing Robin's street.

Worst comes to worst- Max can decide not to ask the questions. She can just say something about her wanting to get out of the house- something about Neil being in a predictably bad mood- which really wouldn't be a lie... just, sort of double-speaking.

The feeling of unease only grew stronger as she skated closer to her friend's home. For a quick moment, she considered turning around.

Fuck- Was this even appropriate- to show up at your friend's house unannounced at nearly 8 in the morning with questions one fears the answers to?

Maybe it was.

Max stomped her foot on the ground a few times until she was at a stop, then bent over and grabbed her board. She already felt her chest growing tighter, and so she took a deep breath.

She stared at her friend's house for a few moments (studying it, thinking of the conversation ahead, contemplating what the actual fuck is next) before beginning to walk up the home's cement path and to the porch, where she felt her heart quicken slightly more with every step

Then, taking another deep breath, she raised her arm and gently knocked on the door.

Max knew Robin's mom wouldn't be home just yet considering she was a nurse who worked the night-shift, which made things ever-so-slightly easier.

Robin's mom, Lily, was a lovely woman, but it was better if it was only her and Robin- especially considering Max didn't know what her friend's reaction would be. And, on top of it, she didn't have much longer to think about those possibilities.

"Oh- Hey, Max!" A messy-haired Robin greeted with a smile as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?" Her tone wasn't at all angry or bothered, just genuinely curious.

"I just needed to get out of the house." Max said as Robin moved from the doorway, wordlessly welcoming the younger girl into her home.

"Fair enough." Robin said, closing the door. She knew what Max's home life was like.

"Want some french toast? I accidentally made extra." By 'accidentally made extra', Robin actually meant she was fine with sacrificing some of her food for Max.

"Uh, yes, please." Max replied softly, slipping her shoes off and setting her skateboard down at the doorway. Seeing Robin helped to extinguish some of that anxiety- but still, part of it remained, floating around in her brain.

Max found herself glancing around the home a few times to pictures of a baby Robin and to the occasional small, somewhat floral painting. The house's aesthetic was so completely opposite of Robin's- all peach walls and sea-foam carpets with an almost constant lingering smell of bleach.

"You have any plans for today?" Robin asked, glancing over her shoulder as she walked to the kitchen.

Max shook her head as she followed. "No. Not yet, anyway."

"Good, cause' I want you to hang out with me today." Robin turned away, grabbing a spatula so she could put two slices on a plate.

Max frowned a bit, smiling slightly. "And what does 'hanging out' entail?"

"I dunno," Robin said with a small chuckle, placing the plate down on the kitchen's counter. "I just wanna get out of the house for today. I hate being cooped up all the time."

Robin, unsurprisingly, hates staying in one place for too long. She likes going on walks and driving around- exploring and such. There's almost never enough to see and do, especially in a town as boring and conservative as Hawkins.

"Alright then."

Robin added another two pieces of french toast to a different plate, then went to a drawer to grab out two forks. The whole time she did this, Max watched her quietly. Even though Robin was always fun and interesting to spend time with, Max still simply couldn't stop thinking of what her reaction might be.

But Robin likes girls too, right? So what kind of homophobic hypocrite would one have to be to push away a young girl with questions of her sexuality?

"Want some coffee?" Robin asked, which earned a small smile and nod from Max. There weren't many people she knew who'd offer a 14-year-old coffee. She liked it, though. It made her feel more adult in some ways, even though it was only a beverage.  

Silence again fell over the two as Robin prepared for the two to eat. The silence wasn't uncomfortable (at least not to Robin), but it did feel strange to Max.

Glancing to the clock on the wall, Max saw it was a little past 8 now. Fuck.

Getting the question out of the way now might be better, right? If Robin reacts badly, Max can just have the whole day to herself to process possibly losing a friend.

Max ran a hand through her hair, wishing she could simply pause her thoughts. Slowly, she trod over to the counter. Inside, her feelings felt brewed and blended- unable to make any one distinct emotion.

"What kind of creamer do you want? We have French Vanilla and Pumpkin Spice." Robin said, making her way over to the fridge.

Max didn't bother answering the question. Instead, she simply stared at the egg-shell white of the counter, contemplating what the everliving fuck she should do. Her back was turned to Robin, which was comforting in an offbeat way.

Her mind couldn't stop jumping from two opposites- from thinking Robin will in no way help and will think she's weird to thinking she will actually be able to help given she sort of implied she likes girls.

"Robin?" Max finally croaked out, her voice sounding unfamiliarly insecure. She harshly bit down on the inside of her bottom lip upon feeling Robin's eyes land on her. At that moment, she wished she could shrink down and disappear or simply, that she never spoke in the first place.

Robin frowned once she heard Max's tone, just how peculiar it sounded. Almost automatically, something felt off. "Umm... Yeah?"

Just say it.

Just say it.

It's not that hard.

It's not that fucking hard.

"How do you know you like girls?"

[lucyreviewcy]

Dear John: A love letter to the John Wick Movies

Let me start by saying I am having a John Wick moment, and just an all-round Keanu moment. Occasionally, when I’m at a certain level of stress and/or boredom, my brain will default to thinking about one subject. At the moment that subject is the powerhouse which is Keanu Reeves.

I could go into detail about all the reasons, both psychologically and cinematically for this Keanu phenomenon(keanomenon), but instead I want to tell you about why I love the John Wick movies specifically.

Let’s start with the first movie, John Wick. I first saw this movie in the wrong state of mind. Recently, I watched Movies with Mikey’s review and decided I needed to re-watch John Wick in a better mood. What I hadn’t realised the first time round is just how perfect and self-contained this movie is. In total isolation from the sequels, John Wick tells a simple revenge story clearly and concisely. Just like the titular character, John Wick doesn’t fuck around. The exposition isn’t clunky; you’re told very clearly who everyone is and why they matter. There’s a quick “context montage” explaining Wick’s motivation, and for the emphasis of important lines, subtitles appear on screen to make sure you don’t miss anything. This is one of the things I love about John Wick movies: director Chad Stahelski is not afraid to tell the audience what is going on. A great example of this is the scene in mob nightclub The Red Circle – a scene that is visually busy and potentially confusing for viewers who are tired and just wanted some Keanu goodness to make their bad day better.  

This scene comes out of the screen with blue and red hands and holds your attention in a way that is unforgettably stylish. The red and blue in the early “Pool Party” segment of the scene give way to a chaotic mix of purple and green in the club, with flashes of harsh white light when we see Iosef (Wick’s ultimate target in this film, played by king of the fictional assholes Alfie Allen.) Even though the club scene is crowded, Reeves’ eyeline is used to tell us that Wick will not harm civilians, as his gaze searches for and locates the mobsters he’s targeting.

This is combined with top quality sound design. We’re all used to soundtrack dissonance after Guardians of the Galaxy rammed it firmly down the throat of all movies everywhere. It’s refreshing to see music used in a way that simply complements the action. Soft, electro-pop is combined with the stealthy, cat-like killings in the pool area, giving way to loud bass driven club music in (you guessed it) the club. Sound designer Alan Rankin doesn’t let the music mask the violence of the scene, we hear the pained grunts of dispatched henchmen, gunshots puncture the music with gay abandon – the sound design is unflinching, you can’t escape from the action.

These elements come together to create an audiovisual experience that is completely arresting. Reeves creates a character that, in spite of being incredibly violent, is somehow utterly likable. John Wick isn’t complicated; he is a straightforward character with a straightforward motivation. The simplicity of his character is so aggressively compelling you can’t help but root for him. He’s also not infallible. He falls over. He has to reload at awkward moments. When he gets hit, he bruises and when he gets cut he bleeds. Even though by the time you’re halfway through John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum you get the idea that this man has something akin to superhuman strength and magic steel bones, Wick is a far more human action hero than we are usually presented with. This combines with the fact that despite how graceful he looked in the Matrix, Keanu Reeves’ limbs are just a little too long for his body. This results in moments that are almost comically flail-esque, but which endear him to the audience all the more. Just like Wick’s motivation, the message of the movie is simple: look, he’s got a funny run and he’s sad about his dog – root for this guy.

I also can’t write about John Wick without mentioning the late Michael Nyqvist’s incredible performance as mob boss Viggo. As soon as Viggo hears what his son has done, and who he’s done it to – he knows John Wick is coming for him, and he knows he won’t survive, but he has to protect his family. Viggo goes through the motions of protecting Iosef, and as the movie goes on, becomes more physically crumpled. By the final act, he’s laughing as Wick arrives to dispatch him to the underworld. Viggo’s hopelessness is the perfect way to cement Wick’s character as an unstoppable force, the grim reaper of organized crime.

John Wick is a perfect film, and the sequels were never going to be able to compete. That doesn’t mean they’re bad, just different. What I love about Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 – Parabellum is that they almost feel like fan fiction about the character of John Wick. These films, while more chaotic and plot-heavy than the first installment, are clearly made with love by a team who want to work together. Reeves is having the best time playing an unstoppable assassin who just wants to get home to his damn dog, while Director and ex-stuntman Stahelski is putting together action sequences that are the stuff of dreams. The pencil scene in Chapter 2 or the library fight which opens Chapter 3: these films are packed with mad-cap ideas that verge on slapstick, but somehow work perfectly in the universe the films have created. No potential stunt set-up is left unresolved. As soon as you see a series of glass cases full of glass skulls in Chapter 3 you think “Sure would be a shame if someone threw Keanu Reeves through one of those glass cases full of glass skulls”, and the film does not disappoint. This is not Chekov’s gun; this is Chekov’s whole gosh-darned armoury.

These films have action, compelling characters, bizarre aesthetic choices that somehow totally work (I’m looking at you, random control room full of tattooed vintage-styled ladies), and a surprising amount of humour. The dialogue isn’t ground-breaking, but Stahelski has created fight scenes with genuine laughs in, and the odd excellent one-liner. What makes the sequels so enjoyable is that everyone involved seems to be having a great time, Ian McShane is in his element as top-cat Winston, while Halle Berry kicks more ass in her brief Wick appearance than she did in all of the X-Men movies put together.

Keanu Reeves said it best when discussing his horseback fight sequence in Chapter 3: “That’s why we want to go to the movies, to see the fantastical.”

[nekoabiwrites]

Of Princes and Potions - Chapter 2

Here comes the Logince. I hope you’re ready (and that my Roman is good, I’m not a flirty person. A few people helped me out with it <3)

AU: Royal Fantasy Pairing: Logince Words: 4009 Warnings: None I can think of.

Summary: Combative gays are being combative as Logan and Roman cross paths.

Breakfast was brought to the royals, who were happily enjoying their time together. Thomas was excitedly chattering away to his father, while Patton indulged the young boy by asking for more and more details about what he was talking about. On the other side, Roman was sat quietly listening as he had little to converse about or add to his little brother’s ramblings.

It was only once Thomas had started to eat that he quietened significantly, allowing the older two of the Sanders family to talk.

“So, Roman, how is your training going?” Patton asked casually, turning his attention to his eldest. Roman proudly answered his father’s question as if he were weaving a tale, clearly over emphasising certain elements. Patton inwardly chuckled at the thought.

“And Sir Virgil seemed highly impressed by my quick reactions to the other guards. So much so that he invited me to spar with some of the new recruits later today.” Roman preened slightly as he told Patton about the invitation.

Patton grinned and clasped his hands together, “That’s wonderful, son. I’m so proud of the work you’ve put into all your training!” There was a lull in the conversation as each of the family finished their meals. It was then that Patton cautiously brought up a topic, “Say, son… Your birthday is coming soon, isn’t it?”

The crown prince ran a hand through his hair, a proud expression taking over his face, “Of course it is, father. I shall be turning the perfect age of 21, though I am sure you were aware of that.”

Patton chuckled, “Of course, Roman, I knew that. I just wanted to ask what you would like for a celebration. You know tha-” The king was unable to finish his sentence as his eldest son cut across him.

���I know that I am already going to have a large, grand ball because that is the tradition for when a prince turns such an age, but it should definitely be the most extravagant and fantastical ball that anyone will ever have experienced. I can see it now; a ball that will go down in history as the greatest ball that any family has ever put on.” Roman went on to describe his perfect vision for what he wanted, including things such as guest list, colours, outfits, decorations. He was so lost in his description that he was completely unaware of his father trying to cut in.

The king eventually gave up as he realised his son was just not stopping any time soon, planning on speaking to Roman more in the upcoming days about the ball, as he really did need to tell him some details that would be inevitable. He looked to his other side and watched his youngest stare across the table. Thomas was utterly enamoured by his older brother’s plans and ideas, his eyes shining with wonder as he clearly started to picture the fancy ballroom they had covered in all of the things Roman was talking about.

The crown prince’s fantasy vision was destroyed when servants cleared the table and Patton stood up from his chair, “Well, it sounds like you have a very vivid image of what you would like, Roman, and I do want to do that for you. We will need to talk about it some more later. Come and see me tomorrow, just after breakfast. I have to go for now. Enjoy the rest of your day, you two.” With that, the king swept through the door and headed off to perform whatever duties he needed.

Sara slipped into the doorway and called to Thomas, “Your Highness, the tutor is waiting for you in the classroom.” The younger prince hopped down off of the chair and walked as fast as he could over to the young servant. He turned and waved to Roman as he left.

“Bye Ro-Ro!”

Roman gently waved back. He remained in his seat for a minute longer before finally heaving himself up. At the moment, he didn’t have much planned. There was still time before he was to head over to the trainee knights and test their combat skills, so Roman decided to take a wander around the castle.

He was still lost in his visions of the party he was imagining, some details morphing from one colour to another as he tried to figure out the best combination. Roman was far too absorbed in his thoughts to notice the other distracted figure coming down the hall towards him. While he may have only been meandering down the corridor, the other person had been walking at speed, so when they crashed, Roman was the one sent flying to the floor.

All the wind was knocked from him as he landed hard on the stone flooring. Roman winced and turned his gaze up, ready to berate whoever had walked into him, but was immediately stopped by the gorgeous man before him.

“I apologise profusely, Your Highness. I should have been more cognizant of my surroundings.” Logan cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed by his actions.

Roman simply smiled confidently, “I seem to have a habit of ending up on the floor around you, Sir Magician. Perhaps next time you could catch me before I fall even harder for you?” The prince got up off of the floor and dusted himself off before looking back at the royal mage. He was internally disappointed by the lack of a visible reaction from the man, as he had hoped all the time he’d put into working on his romantic, flirtatious nature would at least get him a slight flush of the cheeks.

Logan just stood straight, looking down at the prince with a blank expression. He seemed a little annoyed, if the slight angle of his eyebrow was anything to go by. The two stood in silence for a moment, both waiting for the other to speak first but neither wanting to yield. Eventually, Logan sighed, “If we are done here, Your Highness, I have things I must attend to back in my tower.”

“I was hoping I could just stand here and stare at you for a while longer - like one should at any piece of exquisite art -but I understand that you are a busy man. I suppose I’ll have to keep such a desire for another day.” Roman shrugged and walked past the magician. He did pause when standing in line with Logan and looked sideways towards him, his eyes trailing all over his body before he spoke, “Maybe I’ll get the chance to have my hands on the whole collection sometime…” After that, Roman passed by and headed off on his way.

He couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. Roman had been able to get Logan to at least react in some way, even if it was mostly a rolling of the eyes – though he presumed it to be a cover up for the way the magician flinched the tiniest bit at the proposition Roman had sent his way. As he was about to round the corner, Logan’s voice called out to him.

“Sorry, but you aren't supposed to handle the art. It's a common rule. I thought you'd know that was the proper decorum.” Logan’s voice was still as calm as ever, though Roman was only basing that off a couple of encounters with the man.

The crown prince stopped and turned to look back at the royal wizard, again letting his eyes graze over the full length of the star covered cloak that was hiding that thin, lithe body that he’d seen from him, “But if the art was mine, I’d be able to do as I please with it. Am I not correct?” The wizard seemed a little lost for words, as if he’d not been expecting such a response. Roman chuckled softly to himself before offering a gentle wave, “Do not let me keep you a second longer, Sir Pendry. Goodbye, for now.”

Roman continued on his way, heading in the general direction of the knights’ training area. He was in much higher spirits now as his mind was full of images and thoughts of the royal wizard, especially of their first meeting.

He’d been out on Allegria, soring through the air above the castle, enjoying the feeling of pure freedom. The pair had been practicing some tricks over the past months and had finally been able to complete the manoeuvre multiple times in a row with no failures only a couple of days before. Due to his high spirits and trust in his pegasus companion, Roman managed to convince the proud animal to try the trick far in the sky.

Allegria was more than happy to show off her skill and immediately sped up in order to begin the trick. After a few seconds at her top speed, Roman pulled on the white reigns to have her changing the direction, so she was beginning to rise. It was only a few seconds, but the pair performed the loop perfectly, coming out of the trick smoothly.

The two were running high on adrenaline and got caught up in celebrating their success. Allegria was so excited that she decided to do a repeat performance, with little warning to her rider and almost no care to her surroundings. Roman had to grip suddenly to avoid falling off which distracted him from their current position at the same time. It was only as the wall of the castle and the open window came into view as they came out of the loop that both Roman and Allegria realised their mistake and it was far too late.

The pegasus crashed into the wall just below the window, causing her rider who was still finding his grip to go flying through it and crash into the furniture on the opposite side of the room. Both fell hard to the ground, though Allegria was able to catch herself before she crashed too hard. Roman, on the other hand, was completely dazed.

He had a chance to look around the room he’d flown into. The ceilings were high and almost all the walls he was able to see were lined with bookshelves that were practically groaning under the weight of thick, leather-bound books and jars filled to the brim with mysterious substances. A large ladder rested against one of the bookshelves, clearly for the owner of the room to reach the high up shelves. On the floor at Roman’s feet was something that looked like a perch for a bird, though it was hard to tell with his slightly fuzzy vision and angle. He noticed the desks that sat under shorter, but still extremely full bookshelves that sat between the taller ones, all of them looking as though they had a different purpose. While all of this was extremely interesting and Roman would have wanted to explore this new area of the castle and see what was at the top of the spiral stairs across from him, he was far too distracted by the man who was looking down at him with a look of pure confusion and shock.

The man was stood just in front of a book stand with one of the thick books open on top of it, a dark blue robe where the edges were lined with stars resting on a mannequin behind it. But that was not important as the man was utterly enchanting and positively gorgeous. His features were sharp and angular, which Roman could only compare to his beloved sword. His eyes were a striking deep brown which almost seemed like a void that Roman felt himself falling into the longer he stared, while the hair atop his head matched the colour of his eyes and was immaculately placed. The pale skin was contrasted so wonderfully by the dark colour of the clothes he was wearing, the simple dark blue tunic’s long sleeves pushed up to past the man’s elbows which gave the prince the perfect look at his slightly defined arms and the large hands. The last thing Roman noticed was the dark feathered owl that was perched upon the man’s shoulder, which gave him more evidence to believe the thing at his feet was, in fact, a perch.

Roman was unable to truly think as he stared up at the beautiful stranger and, whether it was because of how hard he’d hit his head or because of the sight in front of him, Roman managed to breathe out a few words, “I guess that crash must have been enough to kill me. Why else would I be seeing an angel in front of me…?”

The man seemed to be startled by the prince’s words, only able to look at him in alarm before scoffing to himself. He offered a hand to the prince, “I am no angel, Your Highness, just a simple magician.”

The prince managed to get to his feet, swaying a little as he found his footing again. Everything was still a little fuzzy and he was definitely aching in almost every part of his body. He wanted to thank this man for getting him up but was distracted by loud whinnying and stomping from outside the window. Roman walked over and peered down towards Allegria, who was clearly upset and nursing a bad head and wing injury. The prince winced slightly when the pegasus looked up towards him with pure rage. He pulled himself back in and put on a confident smile, “It seems my dear pegasus needs some tending to. I suppose I shall leave you be. Sorry for the intrusion, my dear sir.”

The stranger accompanied him to the door, walking close behind the prince. Roman turned to look up at the man’s eyes once more after passing through the threshold, “I would love to know your name, if you would like to indulge me.”

The man’s lip seemed to twitch upwards at the side as he responded, “My name is Logan Pendry, Your Highness.”

“Logan.” Roman said his name and it felt almost like it slid right off of his tongue, as if the name was meant for him to say, “Perhaps I’ll have to crash through windows more often if it leads to gorgeous sights such as yourself.”

Logan snorted and rolled his eyes, but his lip remained quirked upwards, “You should tend to your pegasus. It doesn’t sound all that pleased.” He paused, allowing Roman to hear Allegria crying out even louder. When Roman scrunched his face up at the thought of facing the angered animal, Logan’s smile became more pronounced, “Goodbye, Your Highness.” were the last words he said before slowly shutting the wooden door to his study.

Roman frequently thought about the incident, mostly remembering the beauty that was Logan Pendry. The wizard was honestly on his mind far more than Roman would ever say aloud. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his attraction to the man, far from it. It was more that if he spoke about it, many people would likely see it as bordering on obsession. He just wanted to be in the man’s presence as often as he could, yet it was incredibly difficult.

His room was up in the tallest tower, the highest point of the castle. It was so far out of the way for Roman and up so high, that every time he thought about visiting him, Roman was already feeling the exhaustion setting in. It was likely because of this same factor that Logan rarely visited the castle, though Roman was now seeing him around far more often. He was just about to start his theorising of why he was seeing the elusive man roaming the halls more frequently, but the prince had just entered the knights’ training area and was distracted by Virgil calling for him. He put the thoughts aside as he became excited to show off his sword skills.

Meanwhile, up in said room in the tallest tower, Logan had just shut the door firmly. He leant against the wooden door as his face burned a bright red. He had no idea what was going on. Every time he had crossed paths with the crown prince, Logan had felt a spark inside of him that had his heart racing and his cheeks threatening to flush. The magician just couldn’t understand it, he just couldn’t fathom why one single person would give him such a rush of feeling. He cursed the prince under his breath as he peeled the cloak off of his shoulders and wrapped it around it’s usual resting spot behind his reading book stand.

Logan stood there for a moment, his eyes trailing over to the side that was nearby. It was where Roman had fallen on that fateful day, a dark mark that coated the right side of the desk being a permanent reminder of those events.

It had all happened on a normal day. Logan had been standing at his perch, reading through a new tome with interest, the rest of the world unimportant. Nothing should have interrupted him and certainly nothing should have distracted him, but Strix flying over and perching on his shoulder was unexpected. He almost jumped when he felt her claws, turning to look at the owl with confusion.

“What are you doing? You never do this…” Logan asked. Strix turned to look at the window, as if trying to answer his question. Logan went to turn and look out in that same direction, but the events were already unfolding before he could blink.

A man came flying through the window, knocking Strix’s perch onto the floor. The top of it splintered a little as it hit the ground hard. The stranger hit the desk next to Logan with a loud crash, causing several small bottles to fall over and one to crack and leak – which had caused the mark that was still visible to this day. Outside the window, Logan clearly had heard the smack of something against the bricks and was able to just make out the slight fluttering of wings as whatever had hit the wall and thrown the man into his room fell to the ground.

This had been the moment the feelings had started. Logan watched as the man caught up with his surroundings, noticing the small details about him. The man’s dirty blond hair was falling into his eyes and his instinctual instinct to run his hand through it had Logan’s breath catching slightly for an unknown reason. When the stranger locked eyes with him, he was able to see the deep brown of the iris and was almost lost in the comparison between it and his tanned skin. The man was clearly a nobleman, or at least someone of higher status, due to the decoration and pure white colouring of his tunic which was now dirtied, which also was clinging to his upper arms allowing Logan to notice the structure of his muscled arms. Then the nobleman opened his mouth and called him an angel in his smooth voice. Logan’s legs seemed to lose a little of their strength and he felt his brain stop completely as he attempted to comprehend what had just been said to him.

“I am no angel, sir.” Logan had eventually said, coming back to himself. “I am simply a magician.” He’d offered a hand to the man on the ground before even thinking about it.

The nobleman got to his feet and stumbled over to the window as both of them heard the loud frustrated noises coming from the pegasus who was grounded on the grass at the foot of the tower. Logan noticed that the prince sharply pulled himself back from the window for seemingly no reason and so he peered down at the frustrated winged horse. When he caught the eyes that seemed to hold pure fury, Logan turned and spoke to the nobleman, “You should go and check on your pegasus. It doesn’t seem very pleased with you.”

The stranger laughed confidently, once again running a hand through his hair in order to push it away from his eyes, “She’ll be fine for a few moments longer. Gives us just enough time to at least become acquainted.”

Logan narrowed his eyes slightly, “Are you sure? She doesn’t seem all that happy and that was an extremely hard impact… You, yourself, should also go and be seen in the infirmary. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to check you over…”

The nobleman waved a hand, dismissing Logan’s concerns. He leaned in closer to the wizard, almost smirking, “I'd much rather you check me out instead. You must be a smart man, I'm sure you could do such a simple thing.”

“If by ‘simple thing’, you are referring to yourself, then yes. You do appear to be quite simple.” Logan looked down his nose at the man, almost in disgust.

The stranger grinned, “Despite my apparent simplicity, you did just agree that you would do me. I’m more than happy to be simple if that’s what I get in return.”

Logan was now completely done by the man’s stubbornness to continue this pointless charade. It had nothing to do with the fact he could feel heat rising in his cheeks and his heartrate increasing even more, and definitely had no relation at all with the images that were suddenly flashing through his mind by the implications that the noble had just made him aware of. Logan grasped a hold of the stranger’s arm and dragged him towards the door, almost tossing him out of the room in annoyance. As he went to shut the door, the nobleman managed to hold it open.

“Would you at least tell me your name?” He asked, maintaining direct eye contact with the flustered mage.

“Logan Pendry.” Logan replied shortly.

The man standing outside had repeated the name slowly, as if he was savouring it, “Well, Sir Logan, I hope to see you around more often. Perhaps I’ll crash through your window again sometime.”

“Please refrain from doing such a moronic thing. I don’t think you can afford many more blows to the head.” Logan snarked.

The noble laughed heartily, leaning against the outer door frame casually, “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

Logan rolled his eyes, “Goodbye…” He trailed off, suddenly realising he’d not found out this man’s name.

The man seemed a little surprised, but not at all offended, “Roman. Crown Prince Roman Sanders.” He bowed deeply, almost in a sarcastic manner.

Logan felt his entire body turn to stone. He quickly shut the door with a muttered, “Goodbye, Your Highness.” The lock on the door was slammed shut before Roman could even say a single word. Logan had taken the rest of the day to think about the fact he’d not only insulted and manhandled the crown prince, but also had been flirted with by him. He’d quickly decided the prince was just playing a trick on him and attempted to forget about it.

The magician decided to try and figure out what was truly causing such odd reactions to occur within him, such as his elevated heart rate. This is what had caused him to spend more time out of his tower and around the castle, under the pretence of experimentation which was not technically a lie.

Now, Logan crawled up the stairs and out of the trapdoor in his bedroom ceiling in order to sit on the roof. It was his space away from the world, away from the castle. Though he could see it wherever he looked, Logan simply felt like he was in a different land all together. He came out here when he needed to think or relax. He still couldn’t figure out why Roman’s presence made him feel such peculiar things, but Logan tried to push that away for now as all he really wanted to do was calm down from that day’s event.

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OPAP Tag List: @notalwaysthevillian @frankiprowsworld @shoot-i-messed-up @coloursintheblur @roxiefox24

[missytearex]

Happy fanworks appreciation day! Now, I know WIPs aren’t exactly everybody’s cup of tea, BUT I actually love them. I love the excitement of waking up to a new chapter that’s been posted and feeling like I’m a part of something while it’s happening. So, if any of you feel the same way, or if you see something amazing and you just can’t help yourself, go check them out and give them a chance!

Please note that this is by no means a comprehensive list. I’m only including works that I have come across and am either currently reading or want to read at some point.

✏️ Kiss Me Deadly by @13ways-of-looking, @twopoppies

larry | not rated — 5/20

The world’s most ingenious art thief has committed a series of heists, replacing world-famous masterpieces with forgeries. Harry Styles, an FBI agent straight out of training, happens to have a fine art degree and a bum knee. When Harry is sent to Miami with his FBI mentor to break the case, he meets a real estate agent who deals in more than condominiums, and comes face to face with a gorgeous surfer, the human equivalent of an unridable superbreak— the devilishly clever, incomparably hot Louis Tomlinson.

✏️ Need by @dimpled-halo

larry | 7k so far | explicit — 2/?

After another world tour, Harry can’t wait to get home to Louis and finally begin their wedding preparations. Louis’ got his hands full, on the verge of signing a new artist and having to deal with someone he thought he’d erased from his past. With all the stress trying to get the best of Louis, he’s in need of a little help.

Help only Harry can provide.

✏️ Out of Paradise by @whimsicule

larry | 21k so far | mature — 1/3

scotland yard inspector styles travels to berlin in the winter of 1924, chasing defector liam payne and a suspected network of communist radicals. faced with open hostility from his german counterparts, it is far too easy to fall into the city’s nefarious nightlife and give in to a part of himself he’d vowed to lock away forever. 

✏️ Almost In Your Arms by @goldbootsandvans

larry | 24k so far | explicit — 3/?

It’s 1953, and Louis Tomlinson is a household name after winning two Academy Awards in his career. Now he’s about to star in his first period piece: Hadrian, the story of the gay Roman Emperor. He has one rule, though, and that is to never get involved with another actor. That rule gets hard to follow when he starts to fall for his love interest in the film, and even harder when they’re put into a publicity relationship.

✏️ Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning by @helloamhere

larry | 24k so far | explicit — 5/?

For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right.

✏️ The Blood of Words by @mediawhorefics

larry | 33k so far | mature — 3/?

Louis Tomlinson hasn’t sworn off relationships per se. He just doesn’t think he’s quite ready for one yet, despite his therapist’s encouragements. He’s comfortable in his position as editor for Styles Publishing and he’s happy to focus on his career while he gives himself more time to heal.

Enter his CEO’s brother, a boxer with a heart of gold who is determined to carve himself a space in Louis’ life and, more importantly, his heart.

✏️ Tied Down by @ham-palpert

larry | 39k so far | explicit — 5/6

The most interesting case in Liam and Niall’s careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

✏️ A Fantastic Wreck by @13ways-of-looking​

larry | 40k so far | explicit — 3/8

Prince Louis William Tomlinson, heir to the Kingdom of Doncaster, has arrived in Rome to make an important announcement— his betrothal to Princess Eleanor of Anesidora, whom he barely knows. His grandfather, King William, lies gravely ill, and the country’s fate is in his hands.

What harm could it possibly be to leave the embassy for one day? Prince Louis has never fallen in love, mainly because he has a secret that cannot be disclosed. He’s never even had a proper kiss.

When he bumps into a journalist named Harry Styles, their mutual attraction is undeniable. But Harry, too, has a secret.

A WIP based on the movie “Roman Holiday,” starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck.

✏️ Harry Styles Cooks… by @magicalrocketships

larry | 46k so far | explicit — 14/?

In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker.

Or: Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

✏️ cut your teeth on my heart by @turnyourankle

larry | 48k so far | explicit — 4/6

Louis has worked as a security officer for years, but he’s handed his first opportunity to be team lead. The assignment is nothing like what he expected.

Harry has spent years trying to distance himself from the pressure of the Twist name and legacy. But it’s going to be hard to avoid when his mum hires him a bodyguard.

✏️ Starry, Starry Night by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse

larry | 54k so far | not rated — 16/20

AU where Harry’s getting a degree in fine arts but he’s always envied street artists their freedom and the thrill coming from illegal activity. One day, he notices a particular graffiti and decides to paint into it. Louis does graffiti. One day, somebody starts messing with his murals.

✏️ Best of me by niamcuddles

niam | 82k so far | explicit — 8/?

Though Niall’s life as a single father of a 6-year-old is stressful and completely exhausting, he still wouldn’t trade it in for the world. Between trying to juggle new jobs, a social life and spending enough time with his daughter, a love life is the very last thing on his mind. And yet somehow all of it seems to connect.

(Or where Niall’s daughter is a huge fan of Liam Payne, an international popstar, and Niall just wants her to be happy.)

✏️ An Illusion in Time by @sadaveniren

larry | 106k so far | explicit — 11/18

Louis wakes up in a bedroom that isn’t his own, next to a person he doesn’t know. It doesn’t take him long to find out he isn’t in the right year either; he’s five years in the future.

✏️ Than A Man Swear He Loves Me by @magicalrocketships

tomlinshaw | 129k so far | explicit — 8/?

The first time Louis had kissed Nick Grimshaw, Louis had been dressed as God, he’d never wanted anything so much in his life, and he’d never hated himself more for giving into it.

That part at least hadn’t changed.

Or: Nick and Louis like each other, but sometimes that’s not enough.

✏️ You Were Made To Be Mine by @chloehl10

larry | 532k so far | explicit — 81/?

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry’s for as long as he can remember, so it’s a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn’t all that Harry has his eye on…

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he’s invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester…

Remember to leave kudos + comments to show your appreciation!

More lists here.

[babemazzello]

Somebody to Love - A Joe Mazzello FanFiction - Chapter 3: An Old Friend

Pic credit: @johndeaky

Warnings: None. Introducing a new, important character. (It’s not Luke Deacon, I just like that photo.)

--------------------

The next morning, I opened my phone and called Brian. He was a friend of mine from high school that I hadn't seen in some time. He was a senior when I was a freshman, but we lived pretty close to each other. For an entire year we were the best of friends and even when he went off to college in LA, we still wrote each other emails and sometimes letters. We would also call each other every week to keep in touch. But, when I went off to college, our conversations slowed and didn't happen nearly as frequently. You see, about 6 years ago he had gotten a job on the show The Pacific. It was his break out role. While he didn't have a big part, but getting in a show like that was any actor's dream. He has been getting small roles in big productions ever since, but we hadn't talked in over 3 years. The only place where I could catch up with his career was IMDB. I grabbed my phone and decided to give him a call. Hopefully, his number was the same. So, I prayed and dialed his number. The ringing went on for what felt like an eternity. I ended up getting his voicemail.

"Hey, you've reached Brian Barton. Leave your message at the beep." I found out that Brian had changed his last name from Giovicci to Barton to have a cooler sounding stage name. the beep sounded and I realized I needed to make up for 3 years of lost communication in about 45 seconds. I started to panic, but at least I knew I had the right number.

"Hey, Gio. Long time no see... or hear I guess. It's Julie Watson. Remember how we always said we would move to LA together someday? Well, guess what... I'm finally here. I got here about a week ago and I desperately need someone to show me around and to maybe have a drink with. I really want to catch up with you cause I've missed you. Anyway, call me back when you get this. Bye." I dropped my phone on my couch and within a minute it starts ringing again.

"Hello?" I had picked it up so fast I didn't even see who the call was from.

"Hello, my dear Watson." It was Gio. He did his best over the top English accent and it seemed like we were right back to where we were in high school. "Why don't we go drink at a lovely establishment near my flat at 7 PM tonight?" I laughed at his accent and answered.

"Of course." He told me the details of where we would be meeting. We told each other how much we missed the other person. We talked on the phone with each other for over an hour catching up on small things and then we decided we needed to hang up and save some of the conversation for the bar. I got ready and unpacked a couple of small things and put them in their right spots. I had officially finished unpacking. I couldn't believe that this was all happening.

At the bar, I looked across the room and spotted him in an instant. I waved at him enthusiastically and he waved back the same way. I sat down across from him at a dimly lit red booth in the back of a pretty loud bar. Thankfully though, we were very far away from the speakers so we could hear each other just fine.

"So, Watson..." I could tell he was nervous to be face to face with me after all this time. I hadn't seen him in the flesh in at least 5 years. Maybe more now that I'm thinking about it. I know that I looked the same because everyone tells me I still look like I'm in high school at every chance they have. I don't wear makeup, which probably doesn't help my case. Makeup was just something I never got into and now I only wear it when I really want to look amazing or different than normal. Also, my big glasses made my eyes look even bigger than normal making me look like a big baby. Gio looked practically the same as well. The only big change to his appearance since I met him was his hair. It used to be unruly but beautiful. He had thick black curly hair that turned into an afro when he didn't cut it for a while. I used to love touching it before I realized that it probably made him uncomfortable, so I stopped. Now, he had cut the sides short and left the top long to give him volume only on the top.

"Hey." He looks at me as I broke the silence. "Please don't be nervous." He half smiled and nodded. "I know this is a bit awkward, but you are one of my best friends in the world. And I still stand by that, even if we haven't talked in 3 years. And do you know why I feel confident saying that?" He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I leaned in closer to him. "It's because I agreed to meet you in a bar." He laughed. He knew how much I hated bars and partying in them or clubs. From that point on we were catching up and we felt close again. About an hour and a half in, I start asking about his acting jobs.

"So, how's the acting business going Mr. Bigshot?" I was more relaxed now leaning back in the booth with a couple of empty glasses and half-empty plates in front of us.

"Well, I haven't gotten anything big. Just small parts here and there." He was looking away from me when he said that. I couldn't tell if he was hiding something from me or he was ashamed that he hadn't gotten a bigger part yet.

"So, nothing like The Pacific?" I reply. I caught myself too late. I realized that he probably didn't want me to bring up his big break if he hadn't gotten anything great since then. It could have been like twisting the knife that was already plunged into his skin. He didn't seem to mind though.

"No, nothing quite like that." He chuckled to himself. "I loved that job. The crew was fantastic and everyone got along so well. I still keep in touch with some of those guys." He gasped and sat more upright in his chair leaning closer to me. His eyes even got a bit wider. "I just realized. I'm having a party on Saturday. I know you don't like parties, but I thought that since we haven't seen each other in a while, you wouldn't mind coming to one at my place?" He gestured his hands toward me in a questioning motion and shrugged.

I was apprehensive. I really didn't like parties due to there being a lot of people who I didn't know. I would have to expend so much energy trying to be overly positive and funny and welcoming to every person I met. If I go to a party, I usually only spend an hour there before I go home out of exhaustion. So I replied, "How many people are going to be there?" He lowered his hands as if he had made a mistake asking me in the first place. I raise my hands in defense. "No, I want to go cause I want to hang out with you some more. I just want to know."

"Probably about 15 people including you and me. I also invited some friends from jobs I've worked. You mentioning The Pacific made me think of it. A couple of the guys from that production will be there." He snapped his fingers thinking of something again and leaned all the way back in his seat. "And you can meet Joe." I had never heard Gio mention Joe before. The way he was talking about him, I thought it might have been his boyfriend.

"Is that your boyfriend?" I asked very seriously.

"OMG. No!" He responded, almost offended that I would ask such a question. "No, he's very attractive, but no. Just a good friend of mine. He's been going through some stuff lately so he's been in New York for the past year. He finally came back to LA...maybe around when you got here. He's coming to the party, and I think you two would really get along."

Gio has told me that I would 'really get along' with other guys in the past, but they've never worked out. There was even one guy that he set me up with that ended up being gay and dated Gio for almost a year. That was a train wreck, but we both laughed about it afterward. So, to say I was skeptical about Joe was an understatement.

We talked for another hour or so before I got extremely tired and wanted to go home. Gio and I said our goodbyes and he told me where the party was going to be and when. It was at Gio's apartment, and I had never been there before. I got home and jumped into bed without changing my clothes. I thought to myself about whether or not I wanted to go to this party at all. A guy that Gio wanted me to date and a bunch of other people I didn't know. I don't know if I want to go. But Gio will be there and I've missed him. So...I guess I'll go.

***

Masterlist

[havelockreviews]

Series Review: Planetfall by Emma Newman

Planetfall is a science fiction series comprised of three novels: Planetfall, After Atlas, and Before Mars, with a fourth, Atlas Alone, to be published in April of next year.

While all the books are linked and have a theme of isolation, they each have a different protagonist and follow different events.

The first book, Planetfall, is about the first human colony on a new planet, built by a group who set out into space to find God, led by a person called the Pathfinder. Twenty years on, it follows Renata, a woman part of the original mission who now works as an engineer for the 3-D printers. The novel explores how the colony deals with a newcomer arriving suddenly, and the secrets that lie in the heart of the colony’s foundation.

Ren is an interesting character, as she’s clearly hiding things and I was never sure how much I could trust her, and yet I found her social anxiety deeply relatable.

While Planetfall is set on an alien world, After Atlas is set on Earth forty years after the Pathfinder left Earth. It follows Carlos Moreno, a detective for the Noropean Ministry of Justice, who begins investigation into the death of a cult leader – a leader who Moreno has a personal history with.

I love books that blur between genres, and I loved seeing how a crime scene could operate in a high-tech future. And the world-building here is fantastic; After Atlas is much more dystopian than Planetfall – for instance, Moreno is one of the many people working as forced indentured servitude in endless contracts.

However, the ending is rather weak in my opinion. Much like Planetfall, the last few chapters are a radical departure from the rest of the book, and felt rushed. There was also a lot of ‘he or she’ and ‘his or her’ throughout that made sentences clunky – ‘they’ would have flowed much better.

[tw: while there’s no rape in After Atlas, some parts, particularly towards the end, could be triggering to those sensitive to that topic. there is also a depiction of an abusive relationship.]

Before Mars is set on Mars, and follows geologist and artist Anna Kubrin as she arrives at the small science station. Her job is to paint landscapes for a corporation back on Earth. But right away there’s strange things happening; she finds a note in her handwriting warning her not to trust the station’s phycologist, she finds footprints on a part of Mars where nobody else has been, and things from her luggage, including her wedding ring, are missing.

On top of that, Anna is feeling a disconnect from her family and especially her baby daughter, who she was already struggling to connect with. This book is as much about her emotional journey as it is about the unfolding mysteries around her, and is my favourite so far in the series.

[tw for post-natal depression, an abusive relationship, and gaslighting.]

Newman is very good at building mystery and suspense; she strikes the fine balance between giving enough information to keep you interested and on your toes, but not so little that it’s frustrating, and there are lots of details that make a second read-through enjoyable. This is especially evident in Before Mars, which, for me, has the best mystery.

Each novel also has amazing world-building that explores both the political changes and how they affect people on a personal day-to-day basis, and the new technologies that is woven in very believably.

I also love the casual representation; Ren is openly attracted to women, and there’s a non-binary character in Before Mars. (There’s also one in After Atlas, but they’re a minor character and not the best in my view.)

However, I think it’s important to talk about Stephen Gabor, who I feel falls into the territory of the predatory as he is extremely controlling and abusive towards his husband. I really hope Atlas Alone is better in regards to this, because an abuser and his victim shouldn’t be the only representation for gay men.

Overall this series reminds me of the Wayfarer books by Becky Chambers; both are a very personal kind of sci-fi, with a heavy focus on interpersonal relationships, and I would love to see more books like this.

[oxjennxo]

Welcome back!  This is update #3 for the SimNaNoWriMo event at Boolprop!  Come join the fun or just come and read some fantastic stories from the other members.

Last time was seriously just posted a few minutes ago, so let us carry on with Prom.

Or with Tangy who is in the clubhouse thing.

Tangy:  Is that a shipwreck?  Hark, someone save the occupants!

Lemon had to do something at City Hall for school.  She then spends her Friday night out in front doing her homework.

In fact, she doesn’t come home until the notification that her curfew is in an hour.  Have fun!

Pop at prom:

Fudge at prom:

Pineapple at prom:

That ends our first Prom!

Pineapple must be gay?  He has hooked up with Billie from last chapters prom pick (where we thought he was interested in Fudge).

This the dude that Fudge hooked up with.

Also, Plum is promoted to level 9 and Blackberry is promoted to level 6!

Cherry:  Get out of my personal space, jackass.

Plum and his no wish left behind has us stuck right here basically.  3 Honor roll wants (Cherry completed his wish for her) and one to see Pineapple graduate.

Razz and Tangy playing tag.

No, Tangy, stop!

Tangy:  I WILL KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!

Cherry: It was Pop!

Haha Pineapple.  He told Fudge to go clean and then went to read a book.

Lemon reads a book and Pineapple tells Cherry to clean.  Then he went to lay by the pool.

Tangy is clear from cleaning.  She was out on the waterslide.

Plum and  Blackberry are off to work yet again.

Pop:  If this is a joke, I’ll hurt you.

Nope, not a joke.  Enjoy.

Pop:  I’m so hungry.  Let’s skip the candles part and just eat!

No!

Pop’s adds Schmoozer to Insane, Genius, Athletic, and Easily Impressed.  I changed his LTW in CAS to Superstar Athlete since that was the very first option and his current one was not even listed.

After getting a job in Sports with his mom, Plum wants this now.

Pop is gay and Pineapple is actually bi.  Since Pop is stuck here until Graduation, let’s go find him a boyfriend.

Miltan Cookies lives next door, is single and is rich.  The fact that he’s cute doesn’t hurt either.

I am controlling Pop just long enough to nab himself a spouse before he graduates and moves out.

Not that I would force you to watch it all, but a few hours later, they are engaged.

Now that Pop is on his way out, Pineapple starts guitar skilling.

Cherry is evil dancing in the garden.

Tangy and Lemon (I think) are now forced to watch the guitar.

You little snot!

She is a menace!

And it’s just going to get worse with traps around here.

Graduation time!

Note that everyone except Blackberry put on formals.

Valedictorian and Most Likely to Offend Others?  Ha.

Miltan was invited over a little while later.

Then I got distracted.  Blackberry won her game, but did not get a promotion.  There is just a tiny sliver to go.

Unfortunately, we cannot count this as done just yet.

When you’re trying to have a small wedding, but didn’t know the family would watch.

They cancelled the wedding to celebrate birthdays.

Then it was time for the wedding.

This was a concern when I saw it, but I was daring and proceeded onward.

And this is my first Error 12 in at least 6 years.  It did not crash my game as expected.  It just closed out.  I tried to save several more time with no luck.

So, I grabbed everyone up in the town with Porter, which did work.  The game crashed when I tried to go into Edit Town to save the house.  Afterward, I checked my sims 3 folder and the cache’s were in the 500mb range, so I’m not sure if that contributed to the issue or what.

Pop is the first one up for download.

Replay:  Pop said no to a home wedding after a horrible nightmare the night before when the whole thing was ruined somehow.  He left City Hall and headed straight to Miltan’s house where they had a private wedding.

His mom and dad were on their way to work when he decided to move out and not wait for the teen birthdays for his quad siblings.  The move went smoothly and he was excited to start the next chapter of his life.

Plus, this time the game saved and the blacked out sim is not here.  I am wondering if one of the quads glitched and borked that save.  We lost nothing as I had just saved when Pop got out of graduation.

I had tried to use the Porter I had made, but it was non-functional.  I came to this save only to grab their house, but found out that we are stuck trying to play them as is.  The next world is the same as the Original Tarts.  It’s all ready and Fudge’s spouses are already there, just in female form.  I have not dragged their swapped versions out 

The girls finally come home and they immediately head to their cakes.

Cherry:  Soggy cake sucks!

The Others:  Yeah!

Pineapple’s romantic interest Billie arrives and starts taking pics of celebrity children.

Tangy:  Give me that cake!  You weren’t invited!

Tangy is the first one with a makeover.

Razz went next.

She was followed by Lemon

Coming up last, is Cherry.

I have to say that I think all the kids this generation really hit the ugly tree.  I really hope that the gender swap spouses do some toning down of these genetics in the future.

These four all resemble aliens.

During the birthdays Plum and Blackberry had some good wishes.

Blackberry won her game again.  Before the crash last night, her team won 11-2, so this was a better blowout.

Are freaking kidding me?!  Still, the game did not crash and since we had makeovers, I saved each of the quads to the bin and reloaded my game.

I replaced the teens even though Razz and Tangy still had their makeovers (because I saved after each one).

Lemon or Cherry was the glitch apparently, but after replacing them with copies, the save works fine.  So far.

Plum does get his LTW completed again, but I’m too lazy to document it.

I’m going to keep going though.  Fudge takes over in two days.  If worse comes to worse, we just bail and leave the quads dumb asses behind.  Anyway, I have saved 3 times in a row with no trouble, so I think we will be okay.

Razz celebrates this by breaking the tv.

Razz:  Better the tv than the save file!

True.

Everyone is home except Blackberry who is still at work and freezing.  She got off work 2.5 hours prior to this moment.

Razz:  Admit it, Lemon.   You are the reason the save broke <thwack>

Lemon:  It wasn’t me!

Blackberry sat on the prank that has been there for days.  As you can see, Plum had just been directed to sit there to take it out.

Cherry:  Why is everyone accusing me of killing the save?  I’d rather just kill people!

Random pic of everyone showing up at school.

Plum was finally getting the garden taken care of before winter.  Two apple trees were dead, so he had to cry over those.

What have you done now?

Fudge:  Nothing!  I’m just innocently doing my homework.

It does not take long to see the prank on the chair.

I’m going to ban you from going to people’s house after school.

Not bad.  She may just top her career after all.

Celebratory woohoo.

Dude:  GRAINNNZZZ!

Nope *locks gate*.

LOL  He went and played basketball, but his balance is way off due to lack of brains and he kept falling.

Lemon:  Hello!  I’ve been whining for an hour trying to get your attention!  I’m tired and I’m going to sit her until you tell me to go to bed!

Have a nice long wait.

Apparently Fudge got kicked out of that house or she came home on her own, but she obviously never finished her homework.

Omg.  She’s about to pass out, but chooses to cook instead of going to bed.

Fudge:  They look so gross.  <sadface>

Fudge:  Guess it’s pancakes for dinner.

At 4am.

Okay, make that 6am, I guess.

Fudge:  I’m tired and I stink!  Help me!

Then the bus showed up.  Have a great time at school.

Blackberry:  Food!  Feed me!

Blackberry:  Did you not hear me?  FEED ME!

Is it me or are they being more stupid than normal?

HAHA!  She sat down to eat and her carpool arrived.

Plum:  I really would love some grandkids.

And you’ll be getting them soon.

I have no clue where Lemon is, but she is having a nice chat with herself.

Yes, the green clad person barely seen above is a sleeping Fudge.  At least she didn’t pass out.

Right above them in the bathroom, Pineapple is brushing his teeth.

I wonder if the high school field trip was nearby.

Plum:  It’s getting late!  What if Fudge misses her cake and has her birthday alone in the dark?  Oh no!

There is an easy remedy to this.

Plum:  Everyone, it’s time to come home for cake!

Fudge:  I think I’d rather chat on the computer.

Not tonight!

Lemon:  This cake looks good.

Fudge:  Back away from my cake!

The whole family celebrates the onset of Generation 2!

Then head outside to enjoy their last meal in Sugar Valley.

Oh and Sour Apple is born to Miltan and Pop!  Well, she has Miltan’s skin tone!

Then I saved the game and got my porter going, which shut down my game.  <sigh>  I think after this family hit generation 10, I’m quitting Sims 3 for good.

Torch Holder: 1 Self Wetting:   3 Single Births: 3 Quad Births:  1 Honor Roll: 6 LTW Completed: 1 Careers Completed: 1

Chapter Seven

Welcome back!  This is update #3 for the SimNaNoWriMo event at Boolprop!  Come join the fun or just come and read some fantastic stories from the other members.

[floggingink]

Riverdale, “Chapter Fifteen: Nighthawks”

“DEATH DINER”??????

“Damn good coffee”: you know what I’ve never stopped and considered? how lovely the interior of Pop’s is. the ceiling tiles are styled with gentle Titanic fresco flower wreaths. those hanging lamps? Restaurant: Impossible wishes. the classic black-and-white floor, the framed art on the walls? he has neon letters saying “DINER” inside the diner. just to be fancy, be pretty! there’s a table by the far wall that appears to be stacked only with translucent glass flower vases, or bongs! Pop’s is a classy joint, and Pop is there 24 hours a day, dressed impeccably, like the ancient Greek god of caffeine, whipped cream topping

also he named it and insists on calling it not a diner but a “Chock’lit Shoppe,” because he is an angel

please contrast with Archie Andrews, who cannot use the toaster

Archie > Dawson: I like that he leaves Fred to pretty much clean up the mess, his well-meaning unhelpful morning thus encapsulating much of his Archibaldness

Sheriff Keller, actively avoiding Archie’s earnestness, left the job of calling Archie back to his deputy. what was the message I assume Archie hung up before he could hear? that they KNOW NOTHING?

“side exit”? what side exit?

Fifth period is AP English: “To quote that New Yorker cartoon…” Veronica and Jughead, Veronica and Jughead. Veronica also has an A in English. she reads Oscar Wilde, you know? she and Jughead get partnered together to do a report on Truman Capote, their teacher cannily scheduling them to present on the last day as the final flourish, two of her best students. except then Jughead got transferred. she got drunk that weekend

that cartoon is also from like 1993 so it must be one of those vintage bon mots Veronica drops

Hiram, buff!

Veronica is very snotty with him. it’s her prerogative, but dangerous, no?

Betty’s top knot, Veronica’s blue velvet coat

“Wait, I’m sorry, am I hearing acceptance?” Betty is a NATURAL EXECUTIVE CHEERLEADER

wait, has Jughead not been transferred yet? isn’t this a table outside Riverdale High? how is Jughead there?

Archie’s hand-made wanted poster is preposterously ineffectual and a thousand times more adorable and tragic for being so. Archie wants to help and get things happening SO MUCH that, even though all he knows about are the green eyes, he drew a picture of just a white dude in a cut-out ski mask. he went to Staples to make copies! he’s begging someone to tell him something

also how depressing a walk was it for Archie and Jughead to go to the sheriff’s office together

honestly WHAT PERSONAL INFORMATION did Fred have in his wallet besides the address on his driver’s license? which may have been revoked from his mystery DUI for all we know

“a 53 in Greendale” means a garrotting

FP...looks rough

his charges: arson, destruction of evidence, making a false confession, obstruction of justice, and something that amounts to failure to properly dispose of a human body. to be sure, FP did some crimes, so he could do some times. I hear you. however 20 years, from my years of expertise gleaned from watching Law & Order, seems more appropriate for having, say, throttled a grandma

Jughead, presumably using a key, the first almost-casualty of Archie KEEPING HIMSELF AWAKE for like the seventh night in a row

Sixth period is Intro to Film: “You’re the one who looks like a dream warrior from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.” niche, Jug

if his case goes to trial—for what?? he did all that shit! is he going to plead not guilty for something? make your case at sentencing, dude!

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Jughead needs a hug, Archie. get over there. get over there with your big shoulders

Betty’s gray sweater with the lace Peter Pan collar and her pink almost-pencil skirt is unacceptably good

Veronica also has a vanity mirror table, but just with three white honkin’ mirrors set in a semicircle

the female gaze: Archie feels comfortable opening the door without a shirt on? of course he does. what if it had been the killer? then the killer would have truly known what he was up against

Summer + Blair = Veronica: can you believe it’s the second episode of the second season and until now no in-universe character has suggested plonking Archie down in front of A COUNSELOR OF SOME SORT

Mayor McCoy’s bodycon dresses are always slinky yet pragmatic and she always looks great

she JUST SLIGHTLY flicks her eyes down Jughead, whom she’s heartily sick of

Jughead starts to stammer, his physiological reaction when pitching ideas to beautiful women in power

why is the mayor “all for” closing Pop’s? to put it all behind Riverdale as quickly as possible?

Jughead doubts it: is Jughead being a little hard on his dad’s public defender? they’re shockingly overworked and underpaid

“YOU REMEMBER THIS MOMENT”

Betty’s face: hooooooo, what? oh god

Gay.: Midge Klump’s immaculate leather jacket is from H&M and is gay. her incredible mussy, shaggy lesbian haircut is gay, her watercolor blouse is soft femme, and the way she tosses herself against the locker is just very gay

“the Klumpster”

anything, any scenario, and I mean ANYTHING that means I can both look at Reggie AND hear about jingle-jangle has my full-throttled unambiguous endorsement. Reggie sells jingle-jangle? OF COURSE HE DOES!!!!! remember in the pilot when he asked Archie what kind of performance-enhancing drugs he was taking? WE WERE ROBBED OF AN ENTIRE SEASON OF REGGIE POTENTIALLY SELLING JINGLE-JANGLE

“What’s on your mind, Andrews? Girl trouble? Scabies? Why’re you seeking guidance from Ms. Burble?”

“You look like my nuts after football practice.” PLEASE go after Jughead again!!!!!!!

jingle-jangle is apparently like a miraculous All-Purpose Lysol drug that keeps you awake, keeps you focused, and gives you a hard-on

Reggie slaps Archie’s ass when he walks away, because of course he does

Betty would be the one to say something like “We can’t let the terrorists win” when talking about something like a diner closing

Veronica was rich: Serendipity 3 is on East 60th Street and is the home of the Golden Opulence Sundae, which you must order two days in advance. it is covered in Amedei Porcelana syrup, dessert caviar, and edible gold leaf, and costs $1,000. this is why Marie Antoinette was beheaded and I want one

little Betty did ballet and ice skating

ah, retro Betty, settled on the wrong boy

Betty met Kevin for the first time at Pop’s!

GOOD JUGHEAD KISSING GOOD HAIR JUGHEAD GOOD

Hiram brought Veronica yellow roses, for friendship

Betty and Kevin seeing the Hiram Lodge of myth for the first time, Kevin privately surprised at how much of a snack he is

I’ve forgotten why Hiram was in prison. what is Veronica’s ur-beef with him again? that he bought the drive-in land? oh and Ethel’s dad almost killed himself I guess

Serpent Daddy’s real gang name is Tall Boy, so I will continue to call him Serpent Daddy

he is tolerantly amused at Jughead’s suggestion that they just break FP out of jail

a “snake handler” is someone who is independently invested in the wellbeing of the Serpents and fixes their problems. is Betty a snake handler? discuss

Cheryl and Josie have a metallic choker apiece

Cheryl calls Betty and Veronica “Humpty and Dumpty,” because she has released her past

“But, really, Veronica, were they ever yours?” Cheryl did sort of sign them over under emotional duress, would be a questionable transfer in court, say

“The answer is a double-cherry-on-top no.”

What damn high school in America: a long-faced, kinda fly-looking jock to Archie’s immediate right stares at him during the zoom-in after Weatherbee’s announcement about Ms. Grundy, because his whole class knows they were FUCKING

there needs to be a game of Secrets and Sin toward the end of each season, just so the regular kids at Riverdale can get fully briefed on this one handful of kids’ operatic problems

Mr. Andrews felt no emotion at hearing that Ms. Grundy was killed, he is humoring his son

Penny Peabody is GREAT. I love her voice, her bangs, her filing system, her diminutive Serpent tattoo, and her 80’s bad bitch shoulder pads

time served, that’s what I’m talking about!!!

she also kind of looks like she wants to take a bite out of Jughead

Alice is still very COOL towards Archie. why doesn’t she like Archie? because she delights in not liking anyone. it’s okay

“Fine. I’ll reach out to my ghoulish friend.”

also part of Betty’s pink & gray outfit is a pair of sky-blue Chucks

Alice had to say “You’ll love this,” otherwise Veronica’s rage at hearing “anonymous buyer” would have not been self-aware enough for this show

there’s that gold octopus I liked

Veronica just kept that letter in her purse in case she got worked up!!!

oof I like her sort of 40’s naval-inspired skirt

HERMIONE IS STONE-COLD

Cheryl gets one of the most fantastic lines outside of Clue: “Hobo. Bride of hobo. Welcome to Thistlehouse. Mother’s in the conservatory.”

that blouse? that blouse, Cheryl? yes, Cheryl

the conservatory is apparently the greenhouse from Practical Magic, the greatest cinematic house of all time

Best costume bit: PENELOPE IN A TURBAN

and like a white lace nightie and kimono? yes, Penelope

I’m sitting here trying to see what they’re doing at the table and it looks like Penelope is just stirring tea like a Disney witch, surrounded by long-stemmed candles (lit), stoppered vials, some sort of decorative toucan, and tiny cauldrons full of herbs

Cheryl does have a point in that she like, was living with a killer

of course Penelope wants to watch FP get electrocuted, because she is a Stephen King villain

“If they weren’t literally an orphan and a widow, I would do it.” luckily Jughead you have the best girlfriend ever

MISSED YOU, OVER-ENTHUSIASTIC CORONER

Archie unknowingly paying Reggie back for the black eye? he should’ve just covered with that

okay but Reggie knows what he’s doing so all this indignity on his part is a bit misguided

I like that the only person so far truly feeling in their gut that these two crimes are connected is the town doofus, and he is right

“ChugMo”???

Pop should NOT be walking around saying “I thought I’d be doing this until the day I die”

I FUCKING LOVE Betty’s not even “positive attitude” or “determination,” it’s like a physiological inability to accept defeat. I think the last time she accepted defeat was when Cheryl told her she wasn’t making the cheerleading squad

Cheryl in a Gil Elvgren lingerie set checking herself out in a compact mirror is...powerful

her locker emanates a red light, like the Moulin Rouge?

she has a photograph, I think, of herself

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Betty first closes the door very loudly on purpose

Cheryl’s expression at Betty’s threat is everyone’s expression

my knee-jerk superego wanted to be like, Is this kind of harsh, Betty? but like...this is Betty. or this is Riverdale Betty. she’s chaotic good and this is what she needs to achieve her goals. that she does it in a pink cardigan says really everything you need to know. like Archie fucking up trying to make toast for his dad

she’s also kind of tall and has her mother’s left eyebrow, which is cute

Gay?!: Cheryl regroups with commendable speed, respecting who won this round, definite admiration for the game

HOW INTERESTING IS JUGHEAD AND VERONICA

this must be after Betty told Jughead that Cheryl was going to testify, so Jughead was like, THANK GOD, WHO IS BETTY, and felt so much love that he had to go make someone else feel better, because Jughead is a sweetheart

Jughead eats: he takes one of the individually boxed cupcakes presumably left for Veronica by Hiram

“He made an effort.” did he, Jug? he wanted to get on your good side to get your read on a murder. because he knew what you needed to see. oh, Jug. oh, Jughead

“I’m not going to presume what lies in your father’s heart.” JUUUUUGGGGGGGG

Jughead still says his dad is going away for 20 years so maybe this is before Betty talked to him and he’s just being nice!!!!!!!! or he’s not getting his hopes up. let me have this

“Thank you, Jughead. Sorry I broke into your dad’s trailer.”

I REALLY didn’t think Ms. Grundy’s ex was real. but she did have a gun! I don’t know, Christ, I don’t know anymore

Cheryl’s a psychopath: I like the implied scene where Cheryl went home and was like, Mother, I’m testifying for FP Jones, and Penelope was like, You’re doing what? and Cheryl was like, SILENTLY AND WITH MY BLESSING MOTHER

FP sitting there with his mouth opening is everyone

his court-appointed attorney doesn’t understand how this is happening but he’ll take it

“FP’s guilt has been blown out of proportion to satiate what my father’s suicide denied us.”

Cheryl’s sheaths: wait, it’s THIS dress! this dress, Cheryl!!!!!

Cheryl’s pins: Jughead gave her her spider pin back???? to say thank you!!!!

okay what is like the DA’s story here, that FP OUT OF NOWHERE, or for money no one can prove he ever received, did a shit load of dirty work for Clifford Blossom? there were NO extenuating circumstances? like, that’s okay with you?

okay, oh Jesus, Betty raises The Eyebrow at Cheryl on the stand, which I don’t even think was part of the deal!, but Cheryl IMMEDIATELY perjures herself, even though it’s not actually a lie because it’s what actually happened but she doesn’t know that, to get the result Betty wants

Betty is in a textured pink sweater now (with a Peter Pan collar) and Jughead is back in that heavy green knit from the third episode holy moly!!!!!!!

“Is that extenuating enough? Say when.”

Cheryl’s cut-out blousey dress is like Velma Kelly murderess chic, murder me Cheryl

Jughead pulled his hat off, he was so flipping relieved

honestly when he hugged his dad it was so pure, sad, and good, it was so good

Jughead’s fucking long fucking arms can never just hug someone, they like wrap around you and reposition again and again to find the perfect sweet spot

the incredible costume change into the retro waiter stuff

“You’re a fiend, mother.”

does Veronica give them the wrong milkshakes or did they decide to swap? Questions

Cheryl is back in her red velvet leg warmer and red sling-backs

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: JOSIE’S BRAID?

Betty took a page out of Toby Zeigler’s book and just announced that the Pussycats had already accepted the gig

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Valerie has “a norovirus,” so Cheryl gets to sing (like Josie is a Vixen now) “Milkshake” on top of the roof, which Pop’s is probably not insured for

MELODY GETS A LINE

Archie VERY BRAVELY showed up to Pop’s again out of support for Betty and Veronica

Hermione’s shimmery blouse

Hiram is just so handsome. SO handsome, soap opera handsome

Serpent Daddy and another long-haired hooligan and a third fairly chiseled young man enter to show that the Serpents support their local businesses

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: what’s up with the finger on Betty’s chin!!!! is he slowing her down??? is it a bossy thing??? what’s up!!! what’s up Jug!!!!!

they disgust Cheryl

“Honor your promise to me.”

Alice is thrilled Pop’s is such a thriving hive of degeneracy

Certified pedigree: “Yeah, no, I fucking bought it.”

OF COURSE HERMIONE WAS COVERING FOR THAT SHIT

Please protect Betty: I like how everyone is like, Betty, you did it. you did all this. this is what did you, thank you. thank you for being the one who did this

the Blossom corpse: “I have a present for you.” they watch the snuff film

Cheryl’s hair: Cheryl’s top knot!

Andre is tasty but we all know Smithers is dead

Jughead went home early to make some sandwiches, which is #lifegoals, but FP really should know better by now how NOT to get Jughead to do something. it’s not by being cryptic. you have to say right-out, “She’s done X, son. She will steal your skin. She stole that woman’s skin.”

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: “You do know several drug deals went down here tonight.”

Alice is so vicious with Betty, Alice is gold

Dilton Doiley is a canonically great dancer: PSYCHO DILTON IS BACK BABY!

Archie with a gun is single-handedly the most dangerous idea anyone has ever had. I’m already in mourning for the innocent person he’s going to shoot

apparently one ingests jingle-jangle through a Pixy Stix

I hope the staging of this scene is a callback to the incomparable opening of Zodiac

These students are legally children: OKAY WHY WERE THESE CHILDREN BLOWN AWAY THOUGH

God bless Moose: RIP you bicurious boy!!!!!!!

I officially have zero theories as to what is going on, I am back to being Archie

NEXT WEEK: “THE BLOODLETTING”??????????

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: ItsNotEasyBeingQueen Day 1

And we’re baaaack for at least this week! 

This author isn’t on tumblr - you can find her works on fanfiction.net or archiveofourown. Look out for recs tomorrow and Thursday and discover some new writing. 

Day 1: Meet the author

1.  Why Klaine? 

Ah, why Klaine, indeed?  I think it started for me with Kurt.  I remember watching Glee during its original run (yes, I’m an original Gleek) and identifying with Kurt’s character – not because he was gay, but because he was an outsider who, despite the fact that it made him wildly unpopular, stayed true to himself.  He could not bear to be anything other than himself.  I understood that.  Week after week, I watched him struggle through high school, similar to the way I struggled through school, and seriously, my heart just broke every time that kid cried.  

Then when Blaine came along, Kurt finally had someone to love him for who he was and, ultimately, who he grew up to be. Kurt and Blaine had to work for their relationship.  From day one, it didn’t come easily.  They were in a less than accepting society, there was some fumbling at first as Blaine took a little longer to figure things out, they were separated when Kurt left Dalton…and when Kurt left Ohio…and when the writers decided to stick it to all of us by breaking them up (twice) in the most horrible ways…but still, in the end, they were meant to be together.  Their love was messy, and frustrating, and charming, and hopeful. What’s not engaging about that?  

I didn’t really find fanfiction until near the end of Season 6.  I immediately found myself drawn to Klaine stories, and pretty quickly decided that I wasn’t interested in much else.  I’ll entertain a good Kurtbastian or Seblaine fic, so long as the author doesn’t bash Kurt or Blaine in the process, but other than that, I don’t delve into other relationship pairings.  After reading for several months, I started to think, “Hey, I could do that!”  With great trepidation, I posted my first story just over two years ago.  The rest, as they say, is history.

2.  What’s in a typical ItsNotEasyBeingQueen story?  

The adjectives I most often get in comments are “cute” and “sweet” – even when I’m trying to write something touching and emotional!  I guess my love for happy Klaine comes through when I write.  I have a quirky sense of humor, and I often dial into that when writing the characters’ thought processes, especially Kurt.  He really had a dry wit that I appreciated.  I think my stories are an easy read, but I’m a writer at heart, and I have certain standards.  There are some writers who are quite eloquent and poetic – I am more conversational, as if I were sitting in a room with you telling you a story.  I’m also a stickler for spelling, punctuation and grammar, so if you see any errors, I’m terribly sorry!  I’ve written some AU pieces, but I really do enjoy writing canon companion stories and future fics that pick up some time after the series ended.  After all, we all fell in love with canon Klaine, and who doesn’t want more of that?

3.  What kind of stories do you write?  

I’m about as fluffy as they get. I often feel like I’m a “lesser” writer because I don’t do heavy angst or drama – those great fics that people just delve into and rave about.  I love reading those stories, too, but when I write, that just isn’t what comes out of me. I serve up much lighter fare.  I write mostly one-shots, so any little troubles they may come across are sorted out in a couple thousand words.  Even in the few multi-chapter stories I’ve written, I didn’t drag out any issues or keep them apart too long.  Perhaps I lack patience, but when I’m in charge of the storyline, I like a little instant gratification and getting to the good part. Real life is, often enough, difficult and scary and depressing.  If reading a happy short story in about 10 minutes can lift someone’s mood for a little while (including mine), that can’t be a bad thing, right?

Do you write sex? 

I have yet to write proper smut, but I’m getting closer.  If you would have told me a couple of years ago that I would have read as many Klaine sex scenes as I have, I would have said you were crazy. I’m not sure I’ll ever write really kinky or explicit scenes, and I’ll most likely never write PWP, but I’m beginning to understand the storytelling value of sex in a story.  The closest I’ve come was in “I Drove All Night,” and after writing that, I could definitely see going a little farther in the future, especially if I do another multi-chapter fic.  I find that as a reader, I appreciate the smut more when there are feelings behind it – some sort of emotional connection between the characters.  If I delve into those waters one day, I’ll need it to mean something to the story and to the characters.  

Have you ever written anything way outside your usual wheelhouse?

Not yet. I’m pretty consistent.

Do you write AUs or fic that’s consistent with canon?

I have written both AUs and canon fics.  I have set a lot of my stories within the canon world, either as filler pieces or as slightly alternative versions of canon events (such as stories in which Kurt stayed at Dalton longer, for example).  I like to expand on the characters as they were created, working them into additional scenes that could have been part of the show.  

I’ve also created AUs with different first meetings, different career paths, etc. My longest fic had Kurt as a Vogue writer and Blaine as a hotel owner.  Even in AU fics, however, I try to retain the core characterizations of Kurt and Blaine.  I feel that if you go too far away from their canon personalities, then you aren’t really writing Klaine anymore – you’re writing original characters who happen to have Kurt and Blaine’s names.  That’s fine if that is what you want to do, of course – it’s the author’s prerogative to write whatever he or she feels is right.  For me, however, if I’m writing an AU fic, the boys should at least be recognizable as Kurt and Blaine.  

4.  What do you like about your writing?  

Okay. I’m going to start with the disclaimer that I feel really odd talking about what I like about my own work.  I’m not one to say, “Hey, read this thing I wrote. It’s fantastic!”  So, I’ll just tell you what I try to do and what I hope comes across in my stories.

When I write, I tend to picture the action in my head as though I am watching it on the show.  In a way, each of my stories is like a mini script.  I do my best to describe what I see and hear so that you can picture it along with me.  I also try to convey the inner thoughts of the characters (sometimes I write from one character’s POV, and sometimes I do the whole omniscient narrator thing).  My goal is to present the story in such a way that you can experience it as if it were being performed in front of you.  I do often rely on the assumption that anyone reading Klaine fanfiction has seen Glee, so I make allusions to canon without rehashing all of the details, but other than that, I try to ensure that I’m explaining the story in a way that it flows easily.  There is nothing worse than a lack of continuity in a story.  The last thing I want a reader to have to do is stop reading and go back or ask, “Wait, what?  How did we get here?”  

As I’ve said above, I write mostly lighthearted stories, so I inject a lot of humor and heart into my storytelling.  Glee was a dramedy, and though it could be very serious, it could also be very funny and silly, and included lots of warm fuzzy moments.  I enjoy writing the funny, sarcastic, and heartwarming sides of Klaine, and I hope that others find the same joy in reading my stories as I find in writing them.  

[gheckoe]

JAMES’S CURATED QUALITY FANFICTION PRIMER

for @rev0lutions-of-ruin, who tumblr does not like letting me tag

foolish bird avoids ao3 for years and misses out on the Good Shit, but it will be okay! she has THIS now. ft. DUMB LONG-WINDED CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE EXPLANATIONS, because i don’t think you would watch those movies willingly.

lots of selection - pick and choose, but if you don’t read “out of the dead land” i will be very sad. just treat this as really weird queer genre fiction and you’ll be alright. fics with pornographic content are marked as such, but said content is easy to skip as long as you can pick up on the warning signs.

we’re gonna start with the funny stuff.

nanananana BAT-DAD! (no ships, just bruce being a dad. safe for work and hilarious,)

who needs therapy when you have microsoft excel.

tim drake (robin 3) is a transgender teenage disaster. and bruce wayne is just generally a disaster. (same series.)

okay, now let’s get kind of sad. but not TOO sad.

nananananananana BATMAN (and superman)

this one made watching batman vs. superman worth it. not quite. but kind of. it’s fantastic.

i forget what happens in this one but i know i enjoyed it!

snk? why this, james. why this.

bad show, i know, but. formative experience. i figured out i was trans by projecting my feelings onto jean kirchstein. (not sure how, that’s just what happened.)

this one is stupidly fucking huge, in first person, and still isn’t finished.

included by virtue of some weird nostalgia. it’s half a million words long. try the first few chapters; i can’t guarantee anything that happens. don’t fucking judge me.

boring, punch me in the feelings already. more angst!

STEVEBUCKY

i don’t think you’ve watched the captain america movies, so i will explain them.

the saddest, gayest shit you will ever see. will fuck with your heart, ideally! but (as per always), skip the porn. this fandom is really big on it. UGH.

BUT it’s based off of movie adaptations of comic books, so the backstory is... ridiculous. i will summarize it for you. (tumblr ate this so here goes again)

THE DYNAMIC/history/massive goddamn ship manifesto

two guys, sitting in the great depression, two feet apart because it’s not socially acceptable to be gay

steve: tiny, blonde, always mad and big on SOCIAL JUSTICE. gets into fights for SOCIAL JUSTICE, despite growing up in the great depression when SOCIAL JUSTICE was not a commonly-known phrase or a common thing. he’s a bit of a shit, and he gets into shit. with his scrawny lil fists. he has all sorts of chronic illnesses but somehow manages to survive in a time with shitty medicine, and grow up to get into MORE shit. likes art, but is (partially?) colorblind

also he’s VERY HEAVILY coded as trans.

bucky: taller, brown hair, very popular but secretly a bit of a nerd (loves scifi, and is good at math). likes dancing, girls, and getting steve out of situations that he’s clearly over his head in and talking shit about it after. a bit of a charmer, etcetera.

there are some good fics from this era (”pre-war”) but idk where they are in my bookmarks. will update later.

so wait, what happens?

bucky gets steve out of dumb situations (like fighting a guy for talking during a movie) for pretty much all of their life. childhood friends until after high school-ish.

BUT, bucky is either drafted into the us army (it’s wwii now) or enlists, and steve is left alone in brooklyn, new york, to get into shit, without anyone to bail him out or prevent him from getting into MORE shit. so he finally manages to lie his scrawny, ill ass into the army, and (as one does) volunteers to get experimented on by the american government.

wait, what the fuck

comic books, okay. don’t @ me.

steve manages not to die! he finds a really pretty, badass lady to bisexually fawn over in the army (peggy carter is a fucking miracle), the experiments are a success and he ends up BIG and cured of all his ailments and with superfast metabolism (no alcohol) and superfast healing. he’s made it! (he basically just got really fast, unrealistic HRT hahaha)

... except the army can’t replicate the embiggening process they did with steve because the scientist that did it got killed, and steve is made into a glorified prettyman mascot to sell war bonds, instead of going to punch nazis, which he would be better at. he is a terrible mascot.

meanwhile, bucky has a shitty goddamn time in the european theatre. it’s terrible. he gets kidnapped by the EVIL SCIENCE NAZIS and put in a freaky camp and experimented on, poor guy.

you said you ship them, right? they’ve barely interacted so far, man. what the fuck.

alright alright i’m getting to it

steve the dancing monkey (in his words) is doing a Morale-Raising tour in europe for the troops and they hate it and he hates it. he discovers that... oh shit... bucky and his regiment (?) have been kidnapped by HYDRA! (the science nazis.)

naturally, he of little training MUST go save bucky, because the people that actually know how to save people know that it would be pointless to try. but steve “dumb shit” rogers will do it his own damn self. don’t @ him either. it’s the 1940s so he doesn’t have a phone.

steve will walk to austria, if he has to!... but he actually just gets a plane ride there, from peggy carter the badass and some other guy who’s not that relevant right now.

he KICKS NAZI ASS, SAVES THE PRISONERS, and MAKES MEANINGFUL EYE CONTACT WITH BUCKY ONCE HE FINDS HIM IN THE EVIL SCIENCE NAZI EXPERIMENTATION ROOM. bucky’s so out of it that he barely even tries to question why his old friend is suddenly hot  TALL.

steve and the lads walk back from austria, and he is a Bona Fide War Hero and not just a mascot. he has the stylish grime and everything. on the way, he realizes that the lads are pretty cool, and assembles a Diverse Crack Squad of Guys That Really Wanna Kill Nazis from the cool guys he just met. upon return to wherever they were earlier, steve is made a REAL CAPTAIN now, and his Diverse Crack Squad is at liberty to... go kill nazis.

bucky tags along. he is very handsome and talented at math, so he is a SNIPER and saves steve’s dumb ass (from getting shot by nazis, instead of getting punched in the face) like he used to. the Diverse Crack Squad gears up to take down THE WORST OF THE SCIENCE NAZIS, on a train in the mountains! they can change the course of COMIC BOOK WWII!

you said it was tragic. show me the tragic.

the TRAIN INFILTRATION does not go as planned, and bucky is knocked from the train and falls to his cold, painful, (presumably) death. steve can’t watch.

they catch a REALLY BAD SCIENCE NAZI, but it is a very hollow victory. steve goes and tries to get drunk in a blown-up bar where he hung out with bucky and they were really queer together.

the OTHER really bad science nazi now has a plan to BLOW UP COMIC BOOK NEW YORK! steven will NOT allow this to happen.

he’s also kind of given up on life. he has a flair for the dramatic, and also the ambiguously suicidal.

not that being ambiguously suicidal adds to the Dramatic Romance of this. it doesn’t, and that would be creepy. the point is that steve rogers has a LOT of issues, including the ones that science can’t cure.

this SPECIFIC PLANE is headed towards new york, full of explosives. steve manages to get aboard the plane... and doesn’t even try to escape. he crashes it into the water in the atlantic ocean, saying goodbye to peggy on the radio as it hits. he is also presumed dead. it’s... basically a suicide attempt.

flash forward seventy-some years.

wait, wasn’t he in the avengers?

steve rogers is found inside the frozen plane encased in ice in the ocean. he’s revived (super healing, woop) and... doesn’t say anything, because he’s really not up to expressing feelings.

he has a TERRIBLE time. all of his friends are dead or old and went about their lives without him, and he’s alone in a confusing new world. (but the food is better, vaccines are good, and no polio.) he’s not fantastic at making new friends, because, as shown by him and bucky’s entire relationship, he’s a bit of a sad introvert and just picks one person and... holds on.

blah blah avengers one blah blah, new team and fighting BAD THINGS. but steve is too angsty to make friends. he joins the new security organization that peggy founded, SHIELD, without really inspecting it that well because... he didn’t plan to be alive past flying the plane into the ice, much less in the 21st century. he doesn’t know what he’d do otherwise.

idk that sounds a little slow

he has DEPRESSION. it is a little slow. but it’ll pick up! (not emotionally.) now it’s very anti-establishment action flick. enter CAPTAIN AMERICA (2): THE WINTER SOLDIER.

steve makes a friend. actually, two! sam and natasha are wonderful, and they have some things in common. but steve obtains friendship while realizing that SHIELD is corrupt to the core and actually infiltrated by HYDRA, so he and his new friends have to... burn it to the ground. he “died” (or tried to) to stop HYDRA, and it’s still here and worse then ever. things feel pointless.

to make it worse, he’s fighting this creepily effective impersonal masked assassin on a bridge and oh fuck, oh fuck it’s bucky and didn’t he die years and years ago and his arm is METAL what happened to him, and he’s pretending not to recognize steve.

HYDRA is planning to eliminate sources of resistance for their new world order via shooting them from the air, so steve has to take one specific FLYING DEATHMACHINE down. he does, and brainwashed HYDRA bucky, the winter soldier, is there to stop him.

steve makes an appeal to emotions. “bucky stop you can’t do this”

bucky is confused, but he’s been programmed to do this.

steve tells his coworkers to JUST SHOOT THE DEATHMACHINE DOWN ALREADY, because he’s... given up again. he’s very talented at equating heroism with self-sacrifice/suicide. but he disables the DEATH part of the DEATHMACHINE without it getting shot down.

bucky has been trapped underneath a beam, but steve’s with bucky till the end of the line, even if bucky is brainwashed and lacking memories. steve drops his shield in the water and falls.

it’s another attempt to die. stop that, steve. go to therapy.

bucky doesn’t remember who he is, but he jumps after him. steve is very injured from his fight with bucky, and wouldn’t have survived the fall, but bucky drags him to shore and... leaves.

steve wakes up in the hospital with his new friend sam. they’re going to track bucky down, even if it takes forever.

ISN’T THAT FUCKED UP? isn’t that sad? it’s terrible. now, fics. most of them are after ca:tws, because that’s when the ship got popular. a lot of them center around Finding Bucky and Getting To Know Him Again.

there’s a lot of sappy sad let’s-teach-bucky-how-to-be-a-person-again-and-get-steve-to-be-less-sad but i like the ones that are like sad action movies, or sad queer movies, and less like sad romance movies. my bookmarks are a mess, so here’s the best stuff i could dredge up.

out of the dead land: this one kills me every single time. there’s something terribly cinematic about it. but, as fandom is wont to do, there’s porn near the end. skip that part. ew. it’s an introspective scifi action epic, with just enough identity issues to make you want to cry! READ IT, IT’S IMPORTANT.

this: alternate universe, sans steve “dying.” epistolary. sad, as far as i can remember. (i’d rec the rest of this series but i think it’s best if you read this one first?)

courtroom/media fic. what if the winter soldier got arrested after the movie? (cap fandom does this kind of fake-media thing very well. i just reread it. it’s still good.)

this one isn’t exactly groundbreaking, but it’s a different take on the fandom’s typical post-winter soldier bucky interpretation. quite short, 100% safe for work.

in this one, steve successfully gets drunk, makes some friends, and gains some coping skills. good for dark humour. there’s porn somewhere but i’m sure it’s easily skippable, otherwise i wouldn’t have bookmarked it. not 100% the best thing every but it’s pretty fun.

if you aren’t team s/b all the way then we can’t be friends, but here’s some other marvel stuff i guess

lesbians, ballet, feelings? it’s a rarepair but it’s pretty lovely. au, no background knowledge required. basically a beautiful indie film that’s kind of oscar-bait. you will like this one, i think. there’s probably porn somewhere.

trans black widow. (that chapter only, not sure what the rest is). not very well-written and i have terrible memory but i’m 75% sure it made me cry.

ENJOY! or try to. don’t feel obligated to. but please at least TRY out of the dead land, it is groundbreaking.