#just ramblings because im trying to figure out where to go from now cause

[rosysins]

ooc.

realizes that every time I draw eri the more he looks like a girl ...

[fallingstqrss]

kiss it better

request: can you do a one-shot just like the scene where coryo goes insane because he thinks that the reader left him in the cabin but she didn't and they just go to spend some quality time.

a/n: thank you so much for the request i love this idea!

summary: following the death of Mayflower and Billy Taupe you and coriolanus decide to flee the districts, hoping to avoid the persecution of the peacekeepers. however, when you seem to get lost in the woods coriolanus panics.

warnings: there is a brief description of mayfair's death but it's not detailed. coriolanus might be slightly ooc cause this is my first time writing him but i swear im trying my best.

Coriolanus had made a huge mistake. he hadn't meant to kill Mayfair, he just panicked. He was just going to let her leave but then you walked in, making you a part of Sejanus' horrible plan.

"What's going on?" You spoke, eyes moving from Coriolanus to the weapons that lay on the table. Coriolanus saw as your eyes widened and he hurried to comfort you. "Corio, what's going on?" You questioned again, clutching onto his bicep, hoping for reassurance.

"Y/n, it's gonna be fine-" Coriolanus started, attempting to soothe you as he ran a hand across your cheek.

"Oh, none of you are going to be fine. I'm gonna tell my Daddy what all of you did and he's gonna string you up!" Mayfair spoke in an almost taunting tone. Her threat casts a chilling shadow over the room. As Mayfair turned to leave Spruce, fueled by tension and adrenaline, raised the gun to her back.

"I can't let you leave," Spruce spoke. Y/n took an unconscious step back, recoiling from the potential for violence. Coriolanus could tell you were scared and he felt horrible for being the reason you were involved in this. His mind was racing, he knew he had to get you out of there.

"She's bluffing, she won't actually do anything." Billy Taupe defended, eager to avoid any harm that might come to his girlfriend and to deescalate the growing tension in the room.

"Really? Was I bluffing at the reaping? Tell me Lucy Gray, how did you like your time in the Capitol?" Mayfair spoke, eyes staring at Lucy Gray, who gasped. Mayfair smiled as she turned to leave. Coriolanus jumped at the opportunity, lunging for the weapon on the ground. In a single second Mayfair had fallen to the ground. You gasped, your eyes fixated on Mayfair's fallen figure. Coriolanus was quick to shield you from the unsettling sight, positioning himself in front of you.

"I need you to go home y/n. I'm going to get this figured out. But you need to go home right now and you can't look like anything is wrong," He spoke, his tone firm and filled with urgency. "y/n, please." Coriolanus spoke again when you didn't move. You had stood still, trying to process the events that had just unfolded in front of you. Finally, you looked up at Coriolanus, a nod of reluctant understanding breaking through your shock. You trusted Coriolanus, he would get you guys out of this.

Coriolanus watched you leave, a mixture of relief and worry painted on his face. Once you were out of sight, he turned back to the remaining people in the room. He was determined, now that your safety was at risk nothing else mattered.

That's how the two of you ended up here, walking through the woods, in search of life beyond the districts. Despite some attempts at small talk, the weight of the recent events hung heavily in the air. Coriolanus could sense you were struggling to come to terms with the deaths of Mayfair and, more importantly, your shared friend Sejanus.

"I just don't understand what happened. Sejanus' plan was horrible but he seemed like he was being careful," You rambled on, your voice heavy with confusion and grief. You were unaware of Coriolanus' involvement in the death of your friend. You also didn't notice the tension of the captured Coriolanus at the mention of Sejanus.

"He apparently wasn't careful enough," Coriolanus responded, his tone colder than usual, a deliberate attempt to steer away from the conversation surrounding Sejanus. He longed to focus on the two the two of you would spend together, the new life you could start. Coriolanus was taken aback when you came to an abrupt stop, forcing him to backtrack to stand in front of you. You stared up at him, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you not mourn for Sejanus at all, Corio?" You spoke, your eyes reflecting the sadness and confusion that weighed you down. Coriolanus felt a pang of guilt for being distant. However, the truth of Sejanus' death was a burden that he couldn't bear to share with you. He knew you would've never forgiven him.

"Of course, I do," Coriolanus spoke, his tone softer now in an attempt to console you. Coriolanus brought a hand to cup your cheek. "But, it was his actions that killed him." You still seemed unsure, offering a careful nod before turning your gaze to the ground. Coriolanus dropped his hand, moving to walk next to you again.

Eventually, the two of you arrived at the cabin shown to you by Lucy Gray and the Covey. Coriolanus couldn't shake the feeling of your silence, finding it unsettling. The two of you walked into the cabin, setting your things down. "We should fish for a while, we're going to need some food for the rest of the trip," Coriolanus suggested.

"Lucy Gray said there should be some poles under the floorboards," You spoke, avoiding eye contact with Coriolanus as you hung your belongings on the hooks by the door.

Coriolanus nodded, moving towards the boards he found to be loose. He lifted the boards, his eyes widening as he lifted the sheet to reveal the guns that had been used to kill Mayfair. You observed from across the room, a twinge of concern gracing your features. "What is it, Corio?" You questioned, his familiar nickname being a small sense of comfort in the moment of the unsettling discovery. He remained silent, picking up the gun as he turned to face you. Your breath caught in your chest as you saw the weapon, your mind flashing back to the violent events.

"It's the guns," Coriolanus stated, his eyes moving between the weapon in his arms and you. "This means we can go home," You hummed, nodding in agreement. The revelations held the promise of an escape. The promise of a way home. But, they also unearthed memories Coriolanus knew you could never fully forget.

"I'm going to see if I can find anything to eat around the lake, maybe that one root Lucy Gray mentioned," You spoke quickly, shaking your head as she grabbed one of the small shovels left near the door.

"Y/n, wait," Coriolanus spoke, sensing the uneasy energy that surrounded you. "It could be dangerous," Coriolanus spoke, his protective nature kicking in. You smiled as you recognized his instinct to protect you.

"Well, it's a good thing I've got this," You spoke, attempting a teasing tone as you held up the shovel. You could tell Coriolanus didn't quite believe you and you hurried out of the door. Coriolanus was worried for you but brushed off the interaction, trusting that you could take care of yourself. He rewrapped the guns, hoping to drop them into the lake, burying the echoes of the past.

Coriolanus stepped outside heading towards the boat. His eyes circled his surroundings, hoping to find you. However, he didn't see you. He looked around again, his breathing becoming more ragged as he called out for you. He was met with the horrifying echo of his own voice, no response from you.

You had ventured into the forest after finding that Katniss was not ready to be eaten. You had hoped to find some berries, remembering the ones Maude Ivory had collected for you to eat. You attempted to ignore the way the trees seemed to close in on you, the path you thought you knew being erased. You ignored those thought, you had been going in a straight line, there were no place to get lost along the way.

"They should be up here," You whispered to yourself, letting out a sigh as you hoped to break the silence that lay within the forest. The rustling leaves and distant calls of birds engulfed you as you moved throughout the forest.

You had been walking for a while, looking around you realized you have never been in this part of the forest, a sign that you had gone way too far. You turned in various directions, spinning around as you searched for the way you came. Panic began to set in as you quickened your pace, unfortunately leading you to venture deeper and deeper into the forest.

In her disoriented state, you failed to see the root sticking out of the ground. Her foot caught on the root, causing you to stumble forward. Desperation clawed at you as you tried to regain your balance. However, the forest had other plans.

A divot in the ground forced you to the ground as your hands reached out to break your fall. The forest floor met you with a sickening thud, your head colliding with a moss-covered rock. The world around you spun, the pain in your head intensifying with every breath you took. As your consciousness slipped away, the forest seemed to blur into a blend of green and brown, the shadows seeming to dance together in a mesmerizing rhythm.

Back at the cabin Coriolanus grew restless as he awaited your return. The seconds felt like hours as he stared at the tree line, willing you to appear. Finally, Coriolanus was sick of waiting and decided that he would find you himself.

As he ventured into the forest the trees seemed to swallow him. His breaths came out fast, each step propelling him further into the silent forest. Anxiety was clawing at his chest, hundreds of what-ifs raced in his mind.

"Y/n? Did something happen? If something happens we can talk about it!" Coriolanus shouted, pausing as he awaited a response. But he didn't receive one, he only had the rustling leaves to greet him. The silence that surrounded him was deafening.

"Y/n, please say something. I need to know you're okay," He pleaded again. The forest remained silent, offering no hope to comfort his growing concern. Fear painted vivid scenarios in his head, each one darker than the last.

"Please, y/n, if I did something I'm so sorry. We don't even have to talk about it, please just come back with me." Coriolanus pleaded. His pleas became more urgent. His mood shifted from worry to complete despare quickly.

"Please, I can't lose you too." He spoke, this plea much quieter than the previous ones. His voice broke as he spoke, his eyes searching for any clue of you. His steps quickened as he moved around the forest, his handles trembling as he pushed branches out of his way.

"Please, y/n," He called one more time, assuming the worst. He'd come to the conclusion that you left him. It was either that or you were dead, but he couldn't bring himself to grasp the idea that you were dead.

Unbeknownst to Coriolanus, you began to stir on the forest floor. The pain in your head still lingered but the sound of someone's voice distracted you from the pain. You listened more closely as you tried to sit up. Your senses were snapped back into reality when you realized that it was Coriolanus' voice you were hearing. The closer you listened you realized how distressed he sounded and it practically broke your heart. You listened again to his ever-present calls, trying to hear which direction they were coming from, his voice acting as a life-line.

"Corio," you called out weakly, standing as you braced yourself on one of the trees. Coriolanus' head snapped in the direction of your voice. He hurried in that direction, his eyes wide with fear and relief. "Coriolanus," You called out again, wondering if you had imagined him calling for you.

"Hang on y/n! I'm coming," He spoke. Relief washed over him when he finally saw you leaning up against one of the trees, Coriolanus rushed towards you. In your disoriented state you barely even realized he had found you until he engulfed you in his arms. Your senses finally started to come back to you as you reciprocated the embrace, wrapping your arms around his waist.

Coriolanus pulled away for a moment, his eyes scanning your face, he could hardly believe he'd actually found you. He'd thought you were gone for good. Your eyes met his, being met with a vulnerability from Coriolanus you'd never seen before. Coriolanus hated the way you made him felt. He hated how worried he always was for you. But, he also couldn't deny how much he loved you.

"What happened?" Coriolanus finally spoke, brushing your hair out of your face to examine the cut on your forehead.

"I was looking for those berries, the ones Maude Ivory showed us and I got lost, and then I think I tripped," you began to ramble, stopping yourself to take a breath before speaking again, "It's all kind of a blur." Coriolanus nodded as he processed what you said, unraveling his arms from you as he wrapped an arm around your waist to help guide you back to the cabin.

"Well, I think we should get you back to the cabin," Coriolanus spoke and you laughed as you nodded. You'd had enough of the woods.

Back at the cabin Coriolanus used one of the med-kits you'd brought to clean you up. Your heart swelled at how gentle he was, his hands moving cautiously over your face.

"So, will I survive?" You questioned, a smile gracing your features.

"I think you'll be okay," Coriolanus responded, a smile of his own coming across his face. But, you could tell the smile didn't meet his eyes. You could tell something was still bothering him. The sunlight pouring in from the windows illuminated the worry that was still present in his eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the fear he'd felt when he thought you'd abandoned him in the forest.

When Coriolanus finished cleaning the wound he set the supplies to the side and leaned in, placing a delicate kiss on the spot he'd just tended to. The warmth of his lips lingered on your forehead, a comforting gesture that transcended the physical healing.

"There, kissed it better." Coriolanus whispered as he moved away from you, cleaning up the remaining supplies of the med-kit.

Despite his comforting gesture, you couldn't ignore the concern that was still etched on his face. As he finished putting the med-kit away he turned to look at you, being met with your questioning gaze. "Corio, you've been on edge since we got back. What's wrong?" You questioned him, taking a couple steps closer to him so you could wrap your arms around his waist.

Coriolanus hesitated, his eyes betraying his turmoil of emotions. He opened his mouth to respond but the words got caught in his throat. Tension lingered in the air as you searched his face for clues on what he was feeling.

"It's nothing, y/n. Just a scare, that's all. Everything is fine." Coriolanus spoke. However, despite his attempts to comfort you, you could still sense his unease. You reached upwards, cupping his face to draw his attention.

"Come on, Corio. Talk to me," You spoke. Coriolanus sighed, he was torn between his desire to shield you from his concerns and the intimacy the two of you had always shared. Eventually, he gave in.

"I just... I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you. losing you in the woods, even if it was just for a moment, it terrified me." Coriolanus confessed softly. Your eyes softened at his confession.

"I'm right here, Corio. I'm not going anywhere." You assured, he nodded. "I love you, Coriolanus. Wherever you go, I'm gonna be there." You spoke, his words caught him off guard. The two of you had never used the word love.

"Y/n..." Coriolanus started, his eyes moving away from you. However, your hold on his face forced his attention back onto you. "I've never been good at this, relationships. I'm afraid of losing you, of not being enough." You nodded, you understood Coriolanus' insecurities as he'd previously voiced some of his concerns to you.

"Corio," You took a step closer, "I love you for who you are. I don't need you to be perfect." You assured him. Your words hung in the air, in that moment, leaning into Coriolanus, your lips meeting his in a tender kiss. Coriolanus, having been initially surprised by the kiss, eventually surrenders to the kiss. When the two of you pulled away you spoke again. "I want to go back to the Capitol, Corio."

Coriolanus looked surprised but that was overtaken by a look of happiness. He wanted nothing more than to return to his home and family, and now that you did too there was nothing stopping the two of you. "Wherever you wanna go, I'll follow you." Coriolanus spoke, repeating the words you'd said earlier, you smiled at him.

The decision being made, the two of you faced what leaving the woods meant. Coriolanus worked to dispose of the guns while you packed the remaining items you had at the cabin. As you walked out of the door you saw him pushing the boat back to shore. Coriolanus jumped out of the boat, outstretching his hand for you. You smiled at the gesture, moving to meet him, enclosing his hand with your own.

[radio-zephyr]

【Then leaf subsides to leaf, So Eden sank to grief 】

tragedy of the 999th round

id in alt :D turn up brightness/click for quality, and as always, rambles below the cut :] v

i love 999th round's characters, they are all so very dear to me. In this piece I really wanted to focus in on 999yjh and uriel, specifically that moment where yjh is wasting away from the outer god contract, and uriel is cradling his crumbling body, begging him to stay awake and unable to do anything to stop his decay. The pose inspo originally came from this photo: (disclaimer that if this photo has any really troubling connotations im not aware of, please let me know!)

i wanted to take this and make the pose a bit more desperate, mournful, tragic. the original already has such a feeling of tragedy, quietness, tenderness that i wanted to preserve, and i tried to show it in the way uriel has interlaced her fingers through yjh's hand, cradling it and lifting it so carefully as she hunches over his body, her other hand gripping his shoulder and refusing to let go.

Uriel herself is missing her wings. I wanted to show her powerlessness in the face of these circumstances. It doesn't matter who she is, what she has accomplished, in this moment there is nothing she can do to save him. The halo is frazzled, breaking apart-what can uriel do? what will she do now that yjh's gone? how could she ever let the person she loves go？

And yjh- the blankeness of his face - I wanted to have a feeling of desolation- so close yet so far, brought to ruin by his own convictions, sacrificing himself over and over for his companions, culminating here-here, where he cannot go on, wasting away. The bright starburst over his heart-he is about to regress, doomed again to his hell of eternity.

The eyes weren't originally planned, but i had to include secretive plotter somehow, just because i love how he, in his attempt to get 999th yjh to succeed, realized that he was the one who had doomed himself. Idk, something something going back in time to try and fix things doesn't work, that horror at the realization that you were doomed from the start, that you were the cause, etc. So I had to include him somehow, desperately gazing down upon the scene.

Overall I wanted to capture a feeling of the tragedy and tenderness of 999th round's yjh and uriel's relationship, this devastating moment caught in an almost gossamer thread of time, where everything is picture perfect, like a painting commemorating those final feelings. Not sure if that's what i achieved, but i'm pretty happy with the result :D

And i'm just realizing, but the colors look different on mobile vs desktop :0 its a bit washed out on desktop..hm.

Closeups (of the parts I really liked) :3 (as you can tell i spent a lot of time on the clothes. they were really fun to do :0 i think i'm starting to really figure out how i like to shade them :D)

And here’s a fun alternate version I did for fun v

[nadianova]

How much time do you spend planning some of your visual novels? At least going by some of them being jam submissions, it feels like you go from pre-production to a finished build very quickly, and it's amazing how you can manage that while still having an awesome story and so many assets.

Also, what is like, the process of planning a story out for you, if there's any vague or concrete similarities that you've noticed?

i think the important context here is that if i get bored/have nothing to do i jhust immediately get really suicidal its like ridiculous how bad it gets(ITS FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT IVE HAD 5 YEARS OF THERAPY). so i hate being bored and want to occupy my time wit something fun whatever that is. if i have a project to focus on but especially if I'm working for a game jam i have a deadline and i just decide to myself okay i will release a game now.

because ive made a decent amount of games i roughly have an idea on my capabilities, i can estimate how long it takes for me to write a story so and so long and how long it takes for me to draw stuff i need and how long it takes for me to throw stuff in renpy. these are estimates like as in I'm not accurate with it but still enough that i generally know where to start cutting ideas since the most important part is just having something to submit. i also know to plan around my brain wanting to slam my head into a wall an my hands suddenly giving up on being able to draw.

i think thats the beauty of game jams it forces you to just go for it and release something. releasing a 'bad' game is better than no game at all. experience only comes over time and i think just going for it is the best approach there is. like its literally 2 weeks 1 month whatever of your life. if you have the time and motivation go for it. make it work or fuck it up it wont matter in the grand scheme of things

im not sure what is the motivation behind the question but i do want to point out that this is just my method (if you can even call it a method) and the only way to figure out what works for you is to just try until you find something that actually works for you

idk not everyone will find it doable/fun to plan around spending two weeks gamedev 10 hours a day just cause i wanted to fit in 100 cgs for a jam game but apparently i can do that when i cheat my stupid adhd brain into hyperfocus with adhd meds

READMORE BECAUSE I CANT STOP RAMBLING

as for planning tho i think ideas on their own are worthless and its always about execution in the end. a great idea or a meh idea are the same for me but i do still enjoy the planning process so i keep notes

like i see a great tumblr post or i see some art or visual novel has some scene that inspires me: i save that shit for myself

having a big collection of random floating ideas like that helps me easily pick from especially during a jam type duration. right now i have like 4-5 half-baked project skeletons, some are literally like 3 pictures and some like naomida are a hundred hours worth of me writing world building about how the toilets work in a city with no plumbing cause its -30celcius(i love bringing this up)=

i dont normally plan that much, i tend to just wing it. like for malmaid i seriously just had some rough ideas and just went along as i wrote

same thing for dddeviance i had a handful of scenes that i really wanted to make and knew what kind of start and end it was meant to have and just figured out how to fill the in between. a lot of plot points changed vastly like halfway through i realised my devil + angel combination was stupid and i should just go for fallen angel + angel.

i think there really is no simple answer tho (as evident from the long as hell post) i don't really have a 'process' because every single game has been worked on has come with different type of planning since I'm always trying new stuff to try and distract me from boredom. like I've been using obsidian for naomida while previously I've just used a empty discord serve as my notes app for malmaid and dddeviance

and tbh with naomida I'm running to a new problem where I'm definitely planning too much. like I'm spending too much time fidgeting with details in chapter 4 even when i haven't finished writing chapter 1 just cause its so easy to get in the loop of "oh ill just change this one line" and boom 20 mins spent playing with my notes that didn't really progress my game since by the time i reach this point the whole scene might have shifted to something else

.

but if i had to squeeze an answer itd be something like everything related to my art or writing or games is just like "oooooo that seems fun i should remember this for later" and then i just string 10-100 of those into a story

i tend to write my stories in a format of

character A does this and that

this happens here

puppy play ryona piss orgasm

new day and then this happens here

sad thing happens

more piss orgasm

the end

and just like start filling in more details and working on my story in a nonlinear fashion until i feel like i have a strong enough skeleton that i can start writing my scenes. i hop around a lot, often preferring to write the fun scenes first like ero stuff or the ones I'm the most interested in and then the rest is just filling the blanks and stringing the cool scenes together

[ciagent8]

UNDERTALE YELLOW TECHNICALLY NOT LIVEPOSTING. PART 2!!! SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

part one here if you guys like my rambling

we're back! we must continue the journey after . killing a lot of people.

this reminds me of that thing in undertale with the uhh. lesser dog snowmans. HONEYDEW RESORT ENTRANCE!!:

interesting. i wonder who runs this place? it looks cozy

(will ruin the atmosphere via murder) oh my GOD WHY IS THE WIND BLOWING. thats horrifying!

What.

I KNEW THERE WOULD BE A HIDDEN ENTRANCE IN THE BACK AHAHAHHAHAH

oh my god

who the hell killed everyone LAST time???

well. not for long. (slowly pulls out gun)

you dont FUCKING say huh

how is coffee better than ice.... oh . it isnt. nvm

so wait why would i use the coffee ammo??????? is there a reason or

oh man, im so happy i finished that puzzle!

(realizes i have to do it again) fuck

we are struggling YAY WE DID IT martlet fight(?):

oh you poor poor soul

girlie we are a Homicidal Child

Killing you

WHY IS STILL TRYING HELP US. WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU

unfortunately, yes martlet, we DO try to kill everyone

yeah

HER MUSIC IS SO GOOD??? BUT AHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL ARE HER ATTACKS AHHHH-

oh my god

it took me 7 TRIES!!!! YAHOOOOO.

fuck. she retreated. is that supposed to happen?? i feel like maybe im on a neutral route now. im not sure if she was supposed to retreat or not, she also mentioned how like. shes glad we attacked early cause she would've told us where everyone else is. you know what i think im gonna retry the battle

interesting... if i apologize multiple times i get new dialogue. is she gonna spare us?

nevermind it doesnt do anything special it just. skips her boss and puts on neutral i suppose?

im gonna try apologizing and getting to her LAST line of dialogue and just. shooting her . eheheh

update: almost gave myself spoilers trying to see if there were any strategys (specifically for the part with the falling objects. god i hate that part)

so i just wasted time repeating the bossfight AND almost gave myself spoilers!! ..uwahhh

so. since i wasted so much time on martlet. i'll give some personal insight onto how the attack is.

God awful

most of her attacks are easy, *especially* since if you look at the crosshairs, it shows you what direction the attacks will go in/come from.

so all you need to do is just stand there.

with the boxes, you just have to stick to the ground. its safest, just make sure not to get crushed by objects/incoming boxes. the WORST attacks in my opinion would be the feathers exploding into 3 extra feathers attack, and the wind attack with falling objects.

the first of the two is easier, just stay away from the big red feathers and treat it all like a bullet hell.

i still havent figured out a strategy for the wind attack, i honestly just hope i dont get a bad combination of objects and usually heal right before the attack arrives.

but, yeah! i also noticed if you apologize and then attack right after, she seems to skip a line of dialogue and also maybe an attack? its hard to tell.

so yeah! apologies for rambling

moving on!

i like the fact you can see flowey during this cutscene

too bad we. crash. the boat.

whoops

YEAHHHHHHHHH desert!

i'd also like to ramble once more; i like how all of these locations and characters clover meet are kind of implied to exist at the same time as the other monsters?

like, the dark ruins: frisk wouldnt encounter it because she never falls into the dark ruins.

the other part of snowdin? it makes sense it exists; we took a different exit out of the ruins, and if you look at the base game, you can overlook a HUGE forest. who knows how many more monsters there are around?

i think im gonna feel the worst about killing him. look at him. a little guy

OH NO I JUST REALIZED

HIS ATTACKS ARE AFFECTED BY HOW DAMAGED HE IS..

CAUSE ON THE ATTACK WHERE HE GOES UP AND DOWN THE SCREEN HE JUST. STAYS AT THE TOP WITH A SAD EXPRESSION..

NOOO-

also for some reason they remind me of. binding of isaac enemies. i dont know why.

one mORE thing i'd like to wonder: where is mo????

is mo gonna like.. come back? im just curious cause like he got a whole intro, theme song, everything. so surely hes gonna come back right??

you've gotta be kidding me

this. this is just sad.

the singular tree in the desert

on a lighter note i love the sprite artwork though!!!

OH MY GOD MO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MO- DID HE JUST RIP OFF HIS SLEEVES??

hes like. trying so hard to be cool. and its kind of cool in a way if that makes any sense at all

hell yeah mo time

wait does he know we killed everyone

hell yeah mo

love how he doesnt care that he killed everyone he just wants money. i love mo. fuck i do NOT want to kill him

damn i just realized he leaves when you buy his stock. i wonder if maybe on a pacifist route that'd be how you befriend him?

too bad he's gonna. erm. probably die. damn i do not wanna kill him

i have one again reached my image limit so i am taking a break. thats all folks! hope you enjoy my ramblings

[acourtofquestions]

Ugh I’ve been so MIA I hate it 😭🖤 but I finally got my hands on a book last night and I can’t even

🚨KoA kinda round up🚨 from the depths of a sleep deprived forgetful quick rambling tired soul fangirling

Aedion screaming please and I take it back as Lysandra stands as Aelin in front of a war

The witch towers with the yielding which is scaring the hell out of me

Aelin reuniting with Chaol seeing him walk and that hug cause healing

And then immediately recognizing Yrene and their moment

And then her and Hasar being the queens they are

Plus Borte being Borte and just so many great characters in one shot

And I’m just so proud of Elide

And guys please for the love of gods just go to Terrasen

And then you have the cadre in all their glory and the ways she describes them which cracks me up because it’s like “stern beautiful Rowan” “glowing golden Gavriel” “Fenrys darling” “miserable bastard Lorcan” and their dynamic I just can’t even🤣 like the two of them have the sibling dynamic down to a science of “we hate each other… but okay maybe not really I guess their fine”

But then they learn about Maeve and holy shit rip my soul out and slap me with it

And then Aelin crying to Rowan which killed a little bit of my soul and healed it to hear it put into words and then killed it again and then there’s her and Fenrys and Gavriel and Rowan

“IM SO SO TIRED ROWAN”🖤 (but also why are we having this talk on an ice covered river… guys drowning is a real issue, just like scoot back into the forrest please?)

“No one would have left you like that, no one”😭 (I did spend like 10 minutes on Reddit trying to figure out what the “do you want me to tell you about it” line meant but I’m pretty sure it was stuff like that😭)

🥺”We fight”🥹

Chaol and Yrene need to talk about the baby so they can celebrate for .5 seconds cause there both being adorable again

Also like is there a new third person view cause now chapters end like “2 minutes in someone chaol never expected walks in” but then 4 chapter later the convo starts & then halfway through someone walks in… it’s not even forshadowing its like a preview?

Also are all valg princes princesses?

But like where’s my babies where’s my 13 where’s my Manon? Where’s my Dorian? We need the king and witch queen! How about my flower child who’s all dopey and in love? But also like no news is good news? I WANT AELIN NOWHERE NEAR THE KEYS WITH HER DEATH PLOT THESE DAYS MMM NO and then I thought it was the 13 when the wiverns pulled up but no it’s a witch tour greatgreatgreat greatgreatgreatgreeeeeeaaattttt

And have I mentioned I’m dead inside and this book is my world and it’s falling apart but in the beautiful perfect kinda way that feels like watching deathly hallows again but better

Also like I’m waiting for Aelin to unleash a fire storm

And it’s Rhoe’s shield🥺🥹

So idk this is where we are today

Chapter 51 here I come let’s see what Lorcan and inevitably Elide are up to and try to do some better posting catch up since the sleep deprivation is at peak productivity and let’s hope all my bbs reunite for a few scenes now and not to die or something cause is that too much to ask

P.S. MOONBEAM🤣🤣🤣

And I love how he just like ✨KAPOW💥 shifts I mean minus the trauma portion but the dramatic light flash effect would make Rhys (our lil wedding crasher) proud

PS PS I still love Nox

[grishaverse-chaos]

as promised, here is:

grishaverse ships as taylor swift songs!!

malina - im only me when im with you

THE childhood friends to lovers song!!

just a small town boy and girl! living in a crazy world! trying to figure out what is and isn't true!!

and I'm only me when I'm with you!!!

don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground!!

it's SO malina

darkl!na - dear john (censoring the ship name so it doesn't show up in tags!)

sksadgshdh I had to

on a serious note it does fit very very well

don't you think I was too young to be played by your dark twisted games!! regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can!!

you'll add my name to your long list of traitors!!!! the darkl!ng literally DID add her name to a list of traitors sjdhshdgjdhd

genyadavid - paper rings <3

it's just..... so cute and soft, I love it sm

and you know something? david DOES like shiny things and he WOULD marry her with paper rings!!

nikolina - getaway car

taylor literally wrote this song for nikolina, I take no criticism

you were driving the getaway car!! we were flying but we'd never get far!! should've known I'd be the first to leave!!

no but they LITERALLY met in a getaway car. they were LITERALLY flying. but they didn't get far.

I'm sorry I will never shut up about this ever

ANYWAY!!

kanej - renegade

that one scene in soc where inej goes "I will have you without armour or I will not have you at all"

it's literally just GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO I CAN LOVE YOU!

there was nowhere for me to stay but I stayed anyway!! you wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody!!!

GOD the accuracy of this is killing me.

I can't lie I could write a whole essay on every line of this song and how perfectly it fits kanej.....

you fire off missiles cause you hate yourself but don't you know you're demolishing me!! let all your damage damage me!!

wesper - enchanted

idk how to explain this one it's just the Vibes

walls of insincerity.... playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks

just the whole thing where they first meet reminds me SO MUCH of enchanted I can't even

helnik - miss americana and the heartbreak prince

.....yet another that I could write a whole fucking essay on

nina IS miss americana!!

my team is losing! battered and bruising!

boys will be boys then, where are the wise men!

IT'S YOU AND ME THAT'S MY WHOLE WORLD, THEY WHISPER IN THE HALLWAY SHE'S A BAD BAD GIRL

and I'll never let you go!! cause I know this is a fight! that someday were gonna win!!!

zoyalai - peace

tbh I considered ciwyw as well but in the end I think this is ALSO such a zoyalai song I couldn't not pick it

honestly I can see this being from either perspective.... neither of them can give the other peace! and that's what they love about each other!!

I can't even choose any lyrics to highlight, just the whole song

actually wait that was a lie.

okay so think about zoya believing nikolai is too good for her. now think about "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall... it's like I'm wasting your honour....."

SIT WITH YOU IN THE TRENCHES!!!

the chorus.... I can't imagine it any other way than nikolai singing it to zoya tbh. I'll keep your brittle heart warm?? I would die for you in secret??

but you got a friend in me = as my general. as my friend. as my bride.

this is probably incoherent but OH WELL

tamadia - invisible string

again I cannot explain it's just the Vibes

isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

it's so CUTE and I love it

also "cold was the steel of my axe"

because tamar and axes.

anyway! that's it!! this definitely got super incoherent and rambling towards the end but I hope y'all enjoyed it :D

[iwoulddieforienzo]

ienzo and vanitas study! im curious

HOKAY so I'm not sure I can give you a Study. per se. Because I personally don't really Understand Vanitas on a deep level and I tend to think of him in terms of what he represents(?) for other characters. BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT SOME THOUGHTS I HAVE ABOUT THEM. below the cut bc this got Long and Rambly

SO. the Big Thing that Vanitas and Ienzo have in common is their lives being completely and utterly dictated by The Same Guy. Mr. Xehanort himself. GRANTED Ienzo also had to contend with his shitty dad polycule but at the core of it all, they were both used and manipulated by a man who fully expected both of them to die, who wanted at least Vanitas to die, and lost any childhood they could have had in his infinite pursuit of Kingdom Hearts. Both of them were very, very young when Xehanort stole their identities and bodies and set them on a futile quest to get back what was theirs, all while working for/seemingly being at least partially raised by the man who killed them in the first place. Both of them are in a shaky, uncomfortable place at the end of KH3 (assuming that Vani reforms) where neither of them knows who they are or what they want. Neither of them knows how to be a person, and neither of them have ever really wanted to know, but they're being forced into it because all the people who controlled their lives, whether indirectly or directly, have completely fucked off, rejected them, died, or decided that they were going to be a Good Boy now. And neither of them can handle it!

Vanitas spent his entire existence desperately trying to re-fuse with Ventus. Vanitas would rather fade into darkness than exist independently. But now he has to exist on his own and contend with the fact that his entire being is based on someone who does not want him and everything he has ever done was futile. He's angry and tired and hurt. What scraps of an identity he built for himself were all based on spite and Ventus. So now what.

Ienzo, too, has never really had an identity. I think it really says something that Ienzo can't really conceptualize the idea that he was too young to have any fault for what happened at Radiant Garden. Obviously there's a couple reasons for that, but the one that's important here, I think, is that the only thing he had to define himself at the time was his intellect and the fact that he was, technically, a scientist. He ran around in a little lab coat and was involved in experiments; of course baby him thought he was a coworker instead of purely a ward. He was too little to have even figured out if he liked sports, never mind that he seemed traumatized even back then. Xehanort DID NOT HELP, and it is very likely that Ienzo was groomed by him. (not for sexual reasons, mind, just his utter loyalty). And then he was stripped of his heart and emotions for the next 10 years. All he knows about Ienzo is that he was a smart scientist who caused the fall of Radiant Garden, so that's who he is now that he's whole again. And this is an impression he got from the other apprentices, not any memory he has of being Ienzo.

Moreover, thanks to Xehanort (and basically every other Adult at the time) both Vanitas and Ienzo think that they're fundamentally broken in some way, incapable of ever being fully human in any meaningful way, and evil beyond saving. How they respond to this is different, of course, with Vani choosing to embrace being The Bad One as spitefully as he can while Ienzo just silently turns all his anger towards Everything inward.

So. Where does that leave them?

Vanitas, I think, would find himself infinitely frustrated by Ienzo's passive acceptance of everything that happened to him. Vanitas is bitter and angry, all the time. He's known that his life was messed up from the moment he came into existence, has hated his Master from the moment he was capable of it, but went along with the ride because he had an end goal and Xehanort, seemingly, could get him to it. I think he sees himself in Ienzo, willingly being strung along by whoever has grabbed his leash despite how he really ""should know better"" (in Vanitas' deeply questionable opinion). I think he'd also be bitter that Ienzo got to be whole again while Vanitas will never be whole (again, in his deeply questionable opinion) and how he seems to have his shit figured out (more than Vanitas, anyway). But I also think he feels a weird sort of.. kinship? responsibility? over this kid who is so much like him. He can kind of sense Ienzo's secret rage, and sympathizes (um. in a distinctly Vanitas way) with Ienzo's fear of keyblades. Buuuut.... hes also, just a little, frightened of him. Because Ienzo is powerful, and dangerous, and the only thing keeping him from being Zexion again is Ienzo's manufactured guilt and common decency. Vanitas could physically fight off any Organization member, but there's hardly anything he can do about illusions.

Ienzo, meanwhile, would probably like Vanitas well enough? Ienzo doesn't really let himself have opinions, not unless hes talking to his shitty dad polycule, so what exactly he thinks about Vanitas can be hard to extrapolate. But he does find himself mildly frustrated by Vanitas' inability to take responsibility for his own actions - Vani continues to struggle to see himself as a complete person and tends to blame others for the things he does. In a, "Ventus refused to fuse with me so all the pain I inflict on his friends is his fault" kind of way. (But of course, this comes more from Ienzo's need to take on responsibility for everything bad that happened ever rather than any moral frustration with Vanitas' actions) But, Ienzo's used to dealing with jackasses, and is more comfortable around rude assholes than he is kind and polite people, so he doesn't mind Vanitas' Attitude. Ienzo likes that Vanitas is so straightforward about what he wants, and doesn't bother having any secret intentions (unless he wants to start a fight). Ienzo, having grown up as a heartless creature of the Dark, is more comfortable with Darkness anyway. (And Darkness is more comfortable with him, but that's another story.) But Also. A very large part of him is Immoral Scientist so while hes trying VERY HARD to be Polite about it I do think he is tempted to strap Vani down to his vivisection table, and is generally fascinated with his existence.

On a nicer note I think that Vani met baby Ienzo, though I’m not sure when. Not for very long, probably just wondering why his floods were gently inspecting this kid and being inspected in return. I also think that they’d be very good friends. I tend to gently push the two of them together in aus when I can, and I think they’d be surprisingly good for each other!

Vani’s like “where’s your FIRE where’s your RAGE you were WRONGED, you should BITE PEOPLE ABOUT IT!!!” and Ienzo keeps him in check while also not trying to fundamentally change him or even really make him “nicer”. Vanitas, I think, would be very curious about the world once he reforms but weary of being around anyone associated with the Light, and he knows they don’t like him and it’s mutual, but that doesn’t mean he appreciates being hated everywhere he goes. But Ienzo doesn’t hate him, and in fact, seems to rather like him, and is happy to answer any questions Vani may have about anything. He doesn’t seem to want anything out of Vanitas other than to ask some questions about his existence every so often. Most of the time, my sort of.. headcanon, I suppose, though it’s more like a fun scenario, of how they meet again and become friends is that Vani sort of slinks around Radiant Garden for Light Warrior Reasons and Ienzo, who can smell him and therefore always knows when he’s nearby, starts sloooooowly gaining his trust by being overall very friendly and polite but keeping his distance. Vani’s like a weird, spicy little stray cat and Ienzo is metaphorically (but also sometimes physically) feeding him until he follows him home and refuses to leave. I think they’d figure out how to Person together, with Ienzo helping Vani discover what he is outside of Ventus & Xehanort while Vani pushes Ienzo into unpacking his emotions about his fucked up life and breaking free of his self-inflicted stifling of himself. They’re shockingly functional! (and also touch starved as hell and I like to imagine Vanitas randomly deciding to latch onto Ienzo and refusing to let go. Ienzo doesn’t even care he’s just like “hi Vanitas :)” and moves on with his day with a whole ass gremlin attached to him. They’re sillayyy)

Sorry for getting back to you late I completely passed out after writing the opening :,D hopefully this makes sense lol. boy howdy this is Long but I hope it’s at least kind of what you were looking for??

[estrelladeishtar-archive]

Update post # ??? Of ??? (I don’t keep track)

Figured it’s probably. About time I make one of these? Keeping this brief mostly cause… Not too keen on like. Disclosing too much.

Tossing under a read more regardless but tl;dr is I guess I’ll probably be making efforts to post a bit more here, but expect that most my stuff be focused on OCs & fanchars, as my pinned post would suggest. Also some personal things although not too much.

Ig first & foremost I should say that well—yeah, as my recent posting would suggest I’m going to… be trying to make an effort to be a bit more active on here. Personally though I still feel like most my activity will be kept moreso to my toyhou.se & discord though, as that’s where I most feel comfortable? For those interested in said TH account, it goes by the same username as here, EstrellaDeIshtar . I’m still in the process tho of updating char info pages & everything, & setting up a boundaries page too that’ll be like… what I’m okay/not okay with wrt my own chars? Which I figure, important to have that linked somewhere here too—will tack it onto my pinned post once done but yeah.

I wanna sorta be able to share more on my ocs & fanchars if i post em here, so like… there’s that, & I might also be trying to loosen up & worry less about only posting polished work? Its a way of just working through perfectionism & all which. Struggle, but. We’re getting there whdsjfb. Main reason I re-state that i want focus on ocs & fanchars is because, well… I just don’t have my heart in it to do fanart, I’ve always had more interest in OC content really. So if you’re still here in hopes of that I will have to ask to unfollow, but if you still wanna be here to see my work in general or my OC & fancharacter stuff… then you’re more than welcome to stick around & I do appreciate it a lot.

Ngl I’ve contemplated also like… making an ask blog or rp blog for my OCs Zion & Ishtar but? We’ll see ig, for now I leave it at a passing thought & also a “if you wanna ask abt those OCs pls do or if you wanna ask abt another OC i post I’m also chill with too”… but if I decide to make said blog I’ll def post abt it

Anyway, ig that’s about it for now w creative stuff?

On the personal side of things… shit’s been a lot. I won’t say much more than that (since I prefer keeping that to either one off ramblings on my personal blog that i delete after a while, or to talking to friends only), & the fact that I’ve been having to work through a lotta personal & emotional matters, along w health stuff—hence why I was away for so much, I guess? On top of personal apprehensions w this site (but tbf, other social media sites also ain’t too great) But, we get through it ig.

Anyway, hoping all of y’all are doing well, apologies for my constant absences here but we’ll see how things go bc I do genuinely wanna share my OC stuff here? Idk though if that would. Really be all that interesting to ppl here, & I’ll have to figure out how to format any OC posting I do end up doing here because when I talk abt em it, tends to be… A Lot. & Ig I worry about just how lengthy my OC posting would get if I were to do that…? Its part of why im leaving myself open to asks too so i can feel i can talk abt em & from there know how much to say/ramble, tho for the most part w making posts abt em myself i need to work out what to post & also. How wcsfdh

But yeah.

[mygladur]

guess its time for me to try and explain myself again

first off, I want you to know that I am trying to improve myself and move on from what I did. I cant express with words how much I regret it and how guilty I feel for causing this damage. I will have to wait until the end of summer to talk to a therapist unfortunately, but I am doing my best to improve on my own until then. I know I cant undo what I've done, but I can at least learn and try to improve myself based on my past mistakes.

I really have no excuse for lying about my age, it was a really bad move that I should not have done at all. at the time, I thought being hypersexual was a good reason for it, but it absolutely is not. being hypersexual does not excuse low impulse control.

the proship thing is what I regret most about this, and I understand why people cant forgive me for it. the best I can do is explain how I got into that, and why I've now changed my mind about proshippers. I had found myself in an echo chamber of sorts, where I was slowly convinced that proshippers "arent that bad" and that people who hate them are "just overreacting." I am very ashamed of myself for letting these beliefs get to me, but I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not like that anymore. I managed to get myself out of that mindset, and I now despise proshippers as much as the next guy. proshippers are disgusting. there are no "but"s that can change that. though, I am aware that even though I've changed, it wont undo the fact that I did have that mindset at some point. the regret of it will take a good while to leave me, but I'd say that's a good thing, because at least I am aware of how much of a mistake it was to let myself get into that mindset.

the reason why I kept bugging that minor about drawing lewd art of brulo was because I genuinely didnt know they were uncomfortable. I didnt pick up on the obvious signs that they were uncomfortable with it, and I thought their protests were just part of the joke. its not their fault at all, as I should've known better and picked up on the signs that they really didnt like this "joke." I've learned to be more careful with these kinds of jokes now, and to look out for signs of the person being uncomfortable. I feel terrible for pressuring them like that, and if they somehow find this and read this; I am so sorry for misunderstanding your discomfort.

I feel horrible about the way I treated johnny as well. I get very aggressive when Im having breakdowns, even though I dont mean to. but even though I didnt mean to do it, it still happened, I still treated him like shit when he was just trying to help me. I understand why people refer to my constant breakdowns as suibaiting, but I really did try almost every time. I always failed, either because I was a coward or because my method wasnt working at all, which is where the suibait belief comes from. that's not to shame people who believe it was suibaiting, because I get it. Im trying to figure out healthier ways to deal with these breakdowns, because I dont want to make someone feel like johnny did again. I cant imagine the stress my dumb complaining and aggressive behavior put johnny through, and I feel awful for making him feel that way.

the reason why I came onto tumblr under a new alias was because I wanted to keep sharing my art and dumb ramblings. I didnt expect nor want this blog to become popular, and I had already planned to delete it if that ever were to happen. I am not made for handling big fanbases, as I've seen other people who have similar problems to me lose touch with reality and misuse their fanbases in various ways, which I dont want. though, I now feel like I shouldnt try to be on social media at all until I fully improve myself, even if its just an account with no followers on a site no one uses. social media is most definitely turning back the improvement I've already made, so I shouldnt be on it until there is no risk of me going back to my old ways.

with this post, I am not asking for forgiveness. no one is obligated to forgive me, and I'll understand no matter the reason. I am simply trying to explain myself and apologize for the damage I've caused. I really hope that people will at least understand what Im trying to say, even if they dont forgive me in the slightest. and once again, I am so sorry to everyone I've hurt, and I hope that it didnt leave any long lasting effects on anyone. I hope you all have a great rest of your day, and thank you for reading.

Okay, hi, sorry for abandoning Tumblr, but something important came up that I need to share with the Tumblr side of the Fandom.

This account is ran by bagel, who if you don't know

- lied about their age to get into n/sfw spaces

- liked mauricexpeppino art and supported someone who was openly proship

- tried pressuring a minor into drawing lewd artwork of brulo from antonblast (this was before they revealed their true age which made it 5x creepier)

- treated me like garbage everytime I tried comforting them during their suibaits

All I can recommend is to block and move on, don't give them any attention 👍

[despite-everything]

this gender shit is driving me insane.

rant time? rambling time? whatever.

i feel like every day im getting more and more masculine and its just happening naturally. like i was pretty femme for a really long time, and while at first it came natural, it eventually just became like a 'me' costume, only it was one that didn't feel right anymore. for years i felt like the only way to be attractive was to lean into the femme side of things, especially cause im not thin. i felt like i had to really emphasize my curves because i couldn't 'hide' them, despite being non-binary. but one day this summer i just couldn't take it anymore and started changing things up, but things have drastically changed even from august. i don't wear any makeup at all (i've been wearing makeup at least on my eyebrows since 2012, so this was a big change), i style my clothes differently and only wear pants now. my jewelry is simpler, my posture has changed, and so has some of the ways i move. and it feels good, but now i'm feeling more and more dysphoric in my body. back in 2014 when i first came out as non-binary, i'd expressed an interest in getting a binder, but was shut down. these days, i've taken to wearing a tight sports bra which gives me a sufficiently flat chest (at least for now), but in moments like these where i'm topless, i feel intense upset with my body - especially my chest. and i don't think top surgery is feasible for me anytime soon, and i'm worried i'm going to have to live with this for years. i've always felt very fortunate to not have as seemingly intense dysphoria as a lot of people i know, but it's like all catching up to me now.

and i know there's a lot of ways to be a lot of genders - trust me, i get it. i've been out in the community for quite some time now. but i was just looking at my face in a mirror and felt a rush of happiness in a brief moment where i just looked like a man. and now i'm here trying to figure out if i am actually a man, or if i just wish i had more masculine features. and this has been something i've been thinking about for a while now, but i still don't feel like i'm a man. but maybe i'll become one. but i really don't think i'm in a place where i would feel good transitioning, but i know myself and if one day i wake up and feel that's what is right for me, i'll feel unwell and unrested until i can change it, and that scares me. i'm scared that whatever journey of discovery i'm on is only going to get harder, even if it's all okay in the end.

[dykeyeonjun]

I would genuinely read a novel or even just a ramble about the Taehyun/Soobin situation in TXT’s lore because it fascinates me, even since I saw Can’t You See Me and realized something was up between them, some fight or something

ok now that you've asked....opening up my txt lore notion doc i made over quarantine that i haven't updated since frost and pouring over my notes. here are my soobin and taehyun thoughts:

a lot of this is just coming from my brain so do not take this ramble seriously lol. for me in the lore there's obviously a few universes going around (like noas txt are not the same txt in the run away music imo) and i think even though there's multiple universes each member has a characterization/set of values that they stick with throughout all universes/dimensions/whatever we want to call it

and SO soobin and taehyun have always been the trickiest for me to try and figure out. for example i think kai's character is inherently good and a symbol of peace and hope but im constantly like hmm what are they playing at with soobin and taehyun. cause sometimes they seem nice and sometimes they seem EVIL

i also think it's odd that they're paired up because the txt lore seems very individualistic in that each one of them has a backstory/mv where they're the main character

from my notes i have that

in run away taehyun and soobin throw kai into the pool (perhaps evil perhaps not lol)

in angel or devil at the very end of the mv when the cute little animations get drawn on to everyone taehyun and soobin are the only ones with halos whereas yeonjun and kai have devil horns

in the beginning of cysm they're the 2 that are the first to be turned off at the whole party/fun atmosphere and kill the vibes so hard

and then obv in the cysm choreo soobin and taehyun are the only 2 crossing their fingers, signalling they're the "liars"

and then the entirely of gbgb jpn mv which...i don't even know where to start!! esp in the teasers they're just so together and are constantly side by side in the mv which is so random and weird!!!! why are you two exchanging glances what is going onnn

and then srr...the parallels to their situations....what could it mean

this was super disjointed and literally proves nothing cause taehyun also has a lot of moments with yeonjun but i think the taehyun/soobin duo is so stuck in my brain because they're been grouped together since early in their lore (cysm) and the directors are always trying to be so sneaky about it! (for example with taehyun discovering yeonjun in the eternally mv, their helping out of each other was suuuper obvious) what are we hiding? share with the class!

ok i think that's all but just know lore taehyun and soobin are so special to me and even though they've had approx 4.5 moments together i will get to the bottom of this mystery eventually

[reidsnose]

happy campers

overview: the bau goes on a team building camping trip but reader and spencer spend most of their time together

genre: fluff

a/n: ive been kicking myself for not posting in forever but i think this one is pretty cute! please lmk what yall think :)

masterlist

-

-

the stuffy, eight person suv finally rolled to a stop, the overgrown children that call themselves the bau tumbling out as quickly and gracelessly as possible. Morgan and Reid nearing the end of a 2 and a half minute long slap fight that you happened to be caught directly in the middle of. you looked at jj, pleading to make them stop with her mom powers.

"boys behave or ill ground you both," she sighed, going to help out with taking things out of the trunk.

they immediately stopped, muttering under their breath that the other one started it. but before they could start again, Spencer caught a glance at you. you were taking a deep breath, smiling contently, very clearly happy to get some fresh, forest air. despite being in direct sunlight, your smile was far brighter than anything he'd seen in his whole life.

before he knew it he was being snapped out of his daze and asked to help set up the tents. he was really hoping to have a chance to share a tent with you, like you sometimes had done on cases when hotel rooms were scarce. but he knew that almost everyone wanted a spot in your tent because you're that much fun to be around. Penelope would win, obviously, and he would be paired up with morgan again.

he let out a sigh as he finished up pitching one of the tents, pulling the corner and nailing it into the ground. as he did so, something caught his eye: a pink, round, fat little worm crawled out of the dirt.

his attention was now fully on the worm, ecstatic to see it because he had been reading up on worms for a while. he called morgan and hotch over since they were the closest to him, rambling excitedly all hes learned about them so far. he looked up and could see the disinterest behind their polite smiles. his own smile faltered for a second, until he saw you finishing up pitching a tent.

"im gonna go show y/n. shes gonna love this!" spencer giggled, already walking towards you.

"hey kid i dont know if she-" morgan began.

"reid she might not-" hotch started as well.

but he had already reached you, sticking out his hand and revealing the worm. hotch and morgan looked at each other worriedly, concerned that the tiniest rejection from you, even about something as small as a worm, would tear his heart to pieces.

their faces changed from worry to confusion as they watched a wide grin crack on your face.

"oh! a worm!" you exclaimed gleefully.

they observed as you put your hand out and Spencer dropped the worm in your hand. you watched it wriggle around and would occasionally look up and nod along with his rambling, asking questions and listening intently. hotch and morgan were speechless, knowing full well if they offered a girl they liked a worm, she would not have the same reaction.

you and Spencer started walking back over to the tent, where hotch and morgan tried their best to seem busy. you two were laughing, something about putting the worm back where he found it so it gets home safely. if there was ever any doubt that you and Spencer would be the perfect couple, its completely disintegrated now.

you and Spencer were typically joined at the hip, but after the worm encounter, you two were especially inseparable.

the girls went down by the lake to tan while you and Spencer tried to build a hut out of random sticks and logs you found around the forest. and while the guys were fishing on that same lake, Spencer and you were rock skipping, and he was explaining to you the physics behind it. and you were both scaring away any potential fish for rossi, hotch, and morgan to catch. so you two were banished back into the forest for the time being. when the rest of the team came back, you and him were up in a tree, eating some of the snacks they'd packed, talking and laughing and subconsciously leaning into one another. you didn't need to be a profiler to see the signs. you two were head over heels already, even if you guys didn't know it yet.

after a bonfire full of roasted marshmallows and scary stories, laughs and giggles. it was a wonderful, but tiring night and before you knew it you were getting ready for bed, sharing highlights of the day back and fourth with Penelope.

"i'm picking up on a bit of a pattern," she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.

you wracked your brain, "what pattern?"

"all of your highlights included a certain adorkable genius."

"what? no we just...he's my best friend so we-cause its fun and i just-" you stammered, feeling your face heat up with every passing second.

"relax my love, i was just teasing," she chuckled, turning over to go to sleep.

"yeah i know. goodnight pen."

"goodnight lovely," she sighed, "but give some thought to lover boy."

you chuckled lightly before whispering to yourself, "trust me i have."

you woke up and checked the time, it was 4:47am but you just could not fall asleep. you crawled out of the tent, grabbing your blanket when you felt the cool morning air rush at you. you didn't want to wake anyone, so you made your way over to the little hill that the suv was parked on, stealing the keys from hotch's bag and crossing to the other side that faced east. the sun would be rising soon, it would be nice to watch; you draped your blanket across your shoulders. you heard footsteps coming from behind you, your blood running cold, immediately assuming the worst.

you turned around and were met with Spencer's sleepy smile. his hair stuck up in all directions and he looked perfectly adorable. you had to resist your urge to give in and kiss him right then and there.

"you scared me!" you whispered, trying to stifle a smile.

"im sorry," he giggled, "why are you up?"

"im not sure i just couldnt fall back asleep. why are you up?" you echoed.

"morgan keeps farting."

you and him let out hearty laughs, quickly covering your mouths as to not wake up the rest of the team.

you faced the car for a second, legs growing tired from standing.

"look how pretty the fogged up windows look," you observed, facing back and fourth between the colorful sky and the muggy version reflecting on the suv. you pressed your hand against the window, leaving a print, "so cold!" you chuckled.

spencer put his hand next your handprint, quickly recoiling, "you werent lying," he laughed, shivering a little.

you looked at the two handprints, his comically larger than yours and you couldnt help but smile to yourself.

"do you want some blanket?" you asked, opening your arms.

"i think im too tall," he frowned, "maybe if i crouch?"

"how about," you dangled the keys infront of your face before opening the trunk of the suv, "front row seats to the sunrise and some blanket."

"that sounds perfect," he smiled, begging his body not to redden his cheeks.

you two crawled into the trunk, draping the blanket across both of your shoulders, being pulled together by the small piece of fabric. you two were completely cuddled together, getting maximum warmth from the blanket and each other's body heat. a comfortable silence floated between you, faint bird songs and the others breathing filling it with peace. you felt your eyelids droop, despite the breathtaking rebirth of the sun happing in front of you. spencer was just so comfortable.

he felt the same way, his head falling to rest on top of yours as sleep pulled at his eyes. he yawned lightly, pulling you closer and breathing you in. you smiled. perfectly content.

about an hour later, hotch woke up, searching frantically for his keys. he ran up to check if the suv was still there, only to be met with your sleeping figures in the open trunk, wrapped up tightly in a blanket, smiles on both of your faces despite being asleep. hotch was good at predicting things, he saw scenarios play out fully before they truly began.

he snapped a picture, knowing it would be put to good use in a few years, he smelled a wedding.

spencer and you spent the drive home smiling like a couple of idiots, grins growing wider each time the sun hit the window just right, revealing your handprints.

-

ultra mega super cool taglist:

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc

[theskzvibe]

library romance

park jongseong x reader

genere- fluff

word count-  0.659

Strolling past the bookshelves in the library, you were scanning for a book that would catch your eye. The library has become your second home-you go there at least three times a week; studying, doing homework, or searching for a new book. You found yourself at the romance section, and you read the book titles hoping for one to pique your interest. A book titled “elsewhere” sounded fascinating to you, as you slipped the book out of the shelf and read the back. Too angsty you thought as you pushed it back into the shelf, with a bit too much force causing the book to hit another book off the shelf behind it. “Ouch” you heard someone yelp from the other side, and without a second thought you sprinted to the other side of the shelf.

“I’m so sorry, i didn't mean for that to happen '' you rambled out apologies while crouching down to the boy holding his head.

“It's okay, accidents happen don't worry. Just maybe next time be more careful with books” he laughed as he stood up.

“Ah yeah books are the most dangerous weapon” you joked back. His forehead had a small cut on it from where the book hit him, and around it seemed purplish like a bruise was forming.

“Oh my god you're bleeding” you reached towards his injury but he winced in response. You frowned, “come with me” without hesitating, you grabbed this injured-cute boy and led him to the back of the library where there were couches.

“Sit down” you took out your first aid kit from your bag and kneeled in front of him.

“Wow, I didn't even know this room in the library existed” he whispered as you got closer to his face to disinfect the wound.

“Yeah, I come here a lot and no one knows about this room so its like my secret spot” you dabbed the wound and he winced causing you to apologize out of habit.

“It's okay. So you hit me with a book, then bandaged me up and I still don't know your name” he laughed. “Oh yeah right! Well im y/n!” you smiled.

“Pretty. I’m jay” he held his breath and closed his eyes as you came close again to put ointment and a bandaid on his face.

“Okay! All done!” you said to Jay as he reached up and felt his bandaid.

“Thank you y/n” he gave you a genuine smile.

“Don't thank me, i was the one who injured you in the first place” you both laughed.

“But sorry about the bandaid, it's the only one i have” you tried to hold back from laughing as he took out his phone camera and saw a hot pink hello kitty bandaid on his forehead. You could tell he was trying not to be ungrateful, but he was cringing. “Hello kitty?” he asked dumbfounded.

“Yeah she's my favorite character” you stated and jay just made a tight lipped smile.

“Hey she's cute!” you playfully slapped his arm. “You're cuter though” he uttered, and his ears turned red, while your cheeks turned a similar color.

“But you are the cutest especially with that bandaid on!” not even waiting for a response in return, you sprinted out of the room and away from jay who was now chasing you.

“Yah! y/n get back here!” Jay tried to whisper yell as he remembered that he was still in a library. You hid behind the romance book shelf, while catching your breath. You put your hand on your chest, trying to figure out if your heart was beating this fast because of jay or because of the sprint you just did. Probably a mixture of both. Once you thought the coast was clear you turned to peak, when jay appeared in front of you and kissed you right on the cheek.

“Found you” he whispered, and you pulled him in for a kiss.

[girlwiththegreenhat]

hey stupid post incoming (i don’t usually post theories cuz i’m dum as shit) but my horrible little ADHD brain can't stop thinking about this now what the FUCK does this mean

i thought there was weird emphasis on that symbol in that last episode but that last post made it super obvious, except now im wondering beyond the fact that they're similar. it's pretty common for important families to have some sort of family crest, could this have been the wittebane family crest? or more specifically, something pertaining especially to the brothers - and then, considering that possibility and the rearrangement of some of the elements, really had me wondering. so. hear me out-

this leans on the 'belos is phillip' theory, but the wings represent each of the brothers. the larger pair is phillip, the smaller pair represent this ~ * ~ mystery brother ~ * ~. it's interesting that the brother's wings are on the top in the original symbol, above the pair that would represent phillip. perhaps this brother was more well-regarded than him, more notable, leaving phillip in his shadow? that's sort of even backed up by the position of their statues if you want to look at it that way, with the brother boldly placed in front and phillip in the back, not looking as much of a 'leader type' than his brother

in the coven badge, the larger pair of wings is now on top, and the smaller pair on the bottom - and notably, there is a sword through the bottom pair of wings. this just seems like a cool design choice, but i think it might be a metaphor for the fact that Phillip killed his brother. it's already been said that it’s extremely suspicious there’s no mention of his brother in his journal at all, and it's suspicious that there's a second pair of boot prints leading to Eclipse Lake (but not returning) in his retelling that match his own. Phillip obviously didn’t like his brother very much.

My theory?

The Emperor's Coven badge represents making an example of the first person that opposed the man who would become Belos - his own brother.

What reasons would he have to kill his own brother? I can think of a few possibilities.

1. We know Belos' hatred of wild magic supposedly stems from the fact that it took his family, and we know he himself is cursed under mysterious circumstances. He and Eda have some parallels, could it be that, much like Eda, his own sibling was responsible? Except, he found out about it much sooner than she did, and either lashed out in rage, or lost control of himself and killed him by mistake? In both cases, intentional or not, wild magic caused the death of the brother with Phillip as the catalyst.

2. Could it be that Phillip saw natural dangers to wild magic and thought up the coven system, or a similar way to restrain magic? His brother disagreed, saying magic should be kept the way it is, and eventually causing a fight that would lead to the brother’s death? In this case, it wouldn’t necessarily be wild magic directly that took his family, but rather his family’s attachment to it.

3. The other brother was dabbling openly with magic, but his inexperience or cockiness with it caused the death of friends and family they had made in the demon realm, leaving only the two brothers. (Maybe even also cursing his brother in the process?) Phillip has a damn good and direct reason to hate wild magic now, and kills his brother in revenge.

4. FOURTH IDEA I’M THROWING IN HERE REAL QUICK BEFORE POSTING: A twist on the previous idea, Phillip was also dabbling in wild magic, and it was his own inexperience with it that caused the death of his brother, and he shifted the blame to wild magic as a whole to cope.

To take a quick tangent, if we consider the "Rascal was the other Wittebane brother's palisman" theory - it would be interesting if Rascal's scar was from trying to defend his original witch from Belos in the fight that would ultimately claim his life. It would parallel Hunter’s scars too, or at least the one on his face which is implied to have come from Belos.

None of these theories account for why Belos would bring back his brother as Hunter if he wanted him dead so bad though (unless you take #4, in which his death was truly an accident), or his connection to the titan, or why he wants to get back to the human realm 🤔 (magic doesn’t work all that well in the human realm, it would be Really funny if he was just trying to get here in hopes that his curse would go away once he did asdkfljskldf. “bye losers, i’m off to the realm where magic cancer can’t catch me”) But I keep thinking about Dana’s line from the AMA, that “witch & human lifespans are identical, unless they find a way to extend them...” implying that people have done that before.

Like Phillip.

Except my only problem with that is why the hell did Phillip wait like 350 years before becoming emperor?? What was he doing that whole time, sitting in a cave somewhere?? It’s strange that he doesn’t seem to like wild magic because it took something personal from him, implying he thinks he’s keeping people safe and doing them a favor - but at the same time it’s sort of set up that the real reason they’re restricting magic is to keep people weaker and give more power to the covens, which they apparently need for the “day of unity”. The whole “wild magic killed my family :^(” shtick might be a lie entirely, or a severe twisting of the truth. We know Belos is manipulative as hell, who knows if his fondness of the human realm is even genuine? Something, somewhere about what he says is horse shit, but we don’t have enough pieces yet to figure that out. But I’m getting ahead of myself, I meant to just ramble about the connections between this symbol and the Emperor’s Coven badge asldkfkjldf. There’s more mysteries here obviously and we’ve got a whole half season and a mini-season to go.

tl;dr the symbol from the historical society is very directly connected to the Wittebane brothers, Phillip is Belos, Phillip killed his brother and this fact is represented in the Coven badge as what happened to the first person to truly oppose Belos and also what arguably kicked off the empire in the first place.

It’s 1:30 AM and I can’t wait for the third person to see this post go “oh actually,″ and say something that absolutely disproves everything here lmfao. anyway-

[violetlunette]

I really dont like the recent chapters. Which sucks cause i like these concepts and tropes!

The lack of world building and discrimination as a tangible thing is the story screwed Shoji and Spinner over. Especially since both of their stories been foreshadowed since the very beginning but the lack of build up and focus around them makes the pay off feel unearned and shoved in.

Shoji's arguements make no sense, Spinner can't even coherently oppose him since he's under AfO grasp. It doesnt show or provide anything. We didn't know before hand the abuse heteromorphs face was inconsistant in the city compared to the countryside (which feels like a copout to me) nor were we ever shown the characters questioning any form of discrimination and actively doing something about it in a broader societal sense.

It feels so underdeveloped despite apparently being a core part of the worldbuilding.

Speaking of discrimination, what about the quirkless? What about those with weak quirks? Why is it focusing only on Heteromorphs? What about the broader implication of that discrimination? What would happen to others under AfO's new rule? Why is it exclusively a city and country thing? If defeating Spinner is defeating his arguements then why isnt he present for it?

Not to mention, what about the current system? Why have we not seen the systemic issues be challenged or change and only get a brief mention? Why have Spinner be unable to counter Shoji's weak arguements? Why bring AfO into it at all? (aside from what he was offering)

You know the longer im writing this the more i wonder WHY AFO?

The meta liberation army represented these themes much better and there would be a more concrete focus on why what theyre doing is wrong for everyone (ie changing who the aggressor is rather than addressing factors that limit them)

AfO has no connection to this, aside from beneffiting him. AfO being involved cheapens it since because of him Spinner can't respond! Hell combine with him possessing Shigaraki it feels more of 'AfO is the root and cause of all the problems' rather than 'AfO is exploiting the problems the heroes themselves cause' since the heroes apparently aren't aware of those problems or are tackling them.

Sorry if this sounds incoherent. I like AfO as a villain and him possessing Shigaraki is still neat, but i feel like the way/when of it isnt the best executed. I dont know how to word it without going to another long ramble, but the short version is i feel like the league members should have been more opposed to the whole possession thing and have more imput into the situation before majority where killed or incompacitated. But that may just be me.

Welcome back, Longy! (Hope that's you. If not, hello Longy 2.)

I agree with several points here! I think a lot of these come from the fact Hori’s a plotter, not a pantser. For those unaware, a plotter—aside from being someone who schemes—is a type of writer who needs to plan the whole story out before writing. A pantster--aside from being a mischievous asshole who pulls people’s pants down—is a writer who writes by the seat of their pants. Meaning, they figure things out as they go along with only the bare basics to guide them. Hori seems to fall into the former. Everything that he planned since the beginning seems to be flowing smoothly. Like with All Might’s arc; that was planned out since the beginning, and there wasn’t a lot of change to it, so it all connects together smoothly. Meanwhile, things he was forced to change or suddenly add feel rocky and out of place. For example—just pick an arc that feels weird to you. That was probably suddenly added or changed. (Trust me, you’ll know what this is. As I stated previously, human brains are programmed to follow stories. That’s why plot holes, or things that don’t fit, irk us so.) And now Hori’s being forced to rush things, so he’s trying to force it all in, but there’s no time, so it’s clunky. It doesn’t help that these are subjects that he doesn’t have experience writing, as evident from his previous works. Hori does have interesting ideas; Shoji’s conflict and backstory are interesting (though they should have been introduced before the climax, that's for when the manga's done). And having Spinner become a monster was also good. It was supposed to demonstrate how All for One corrupts desperate people and twists them along with the things they once valued. However, he didn’t have enough time to sit with it and plan it out, so it was hurried and sloppy. As with several points of this story.

Personally, I believe that if was able to plot out the entire series and write it before publishing, we would have gotten a better story. But sadly, as a mangaka, you can’t do that. That profession requires pantser skills where you have to adapt in an instance to every little thing in context and meta-wise. Fans like a character you were going to make an asshole, or suddenly got the urge to write said character in a different light? Then you have to make up a new arc and fit it smoothly into the story on the dot. People don’t like a character who was going to be a major player? Gotta either figure out how to fix him or kick him to the wayside. The plot point doesn’t match up, shoot gotta fix it, and so on. That’s why a lot of manga characters are pretty simple to start off with and the stories are in smaller arcs with a VERY simple overarching arc to tie them together. (Such as there's a great evil that the heroes want to stop, or they're looking for a lost treasure.) It’s unfortunate, but that’s how it is. I really wish we got to read the version where Hori was able to take his time and plan everything out but once the manga became popular, that wasn’t going to happen.