#just offering my perspectives

[shouts-into-the-void]

I feel like the aftg fandom has just swung hard from one mischaracterization of Neil to another.

Yes, Neil is not an innocent little soft-boy like a lot of fans made him out to be pre-TSC, but he isn't some cold, calculated badass either.

He took out a hit on Grayson over Thai food. He doodles fox paws in his notebooks and hates vegetables. He insults FBI agents' parking jobs and he spent a bus ride staring over the back of his seat making heart eyes at his boyfriend. He manipulated the agents while eating takeout in the interrogation room. He canonically internally panics and overthinks the entire time he's attempting to manipulate anyone. He uses people's family trauma to manipulate them. He misses his mom.

Neil Abram Josten is a multifaceted character

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[banjo-butch]

I certainly don't think it's the only thing and obviously blackpill culture exists for a multitude of other reasons, I just think there can be a nugget of truth within incel rhetoric (being unattractive under colonial desirability standards is it's own oppression with its own consequences) or within /tttt/ anti-hugbox culture (toxic positivity is often pervasive within progressive spaces to the point of silencing ugly people having frank conversations). Those nuggets of truth and the anxieties, hurt and alienation they represent are then used as the hook to onboard people into alt-right spaces; it's just one onboarding process but there are many others.

I just think it's a place where progressive spaces are weak to offering any counterpoint to prevent that onboarding; if your options are "you are undesirable, and here's why that's a bad thing you should feel ashamed of (and then blame minorities for)" or "you're beautiful, stop talking about being ugly" a lot of people would rather the social context in which their lived reality is being acknowledged, and then get swallowed into the other ideological trappings of those contexts. i think to avoid this would require progressive spaces (and specifically desirable people within them) to be willing to engage with desirability, which they currently aren't.

You guys arent gonna like this but youre wrong, passing privilege most definitely exists and to deny that denies the lived experience of trans women who are punished for being "ugly" even by other trans women, the most famous trans woman in the so called us is contrapoints, someone who has frequently made it clear that she believes that trans women who dont pass are bad for "the movement"

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine if you were a gay or bi man who tried a certain firefighter show because of all the attention it was getting for one of its mains having a later in life bi awakening.....and between seasons you ventured into its fandom in search of material to tide you over til the next one. And you're greeted by a deluge of posts and fics that are just cheerfully homophobic towards one half of the newly out bi character's canon relationship on the basis of 'well he's not the RIGHT gay guy' and pushing the idea that actually its fine to cheat on him because Reasons and he's sexually predacious based on......behind the scenes implications people have divined like they're reading fucking tea leaves.

But don't get it twisted....this fandom, like all fandoms, really cares about representation!

Sorry not sorry, but we really need to kill this idea that fandoms are welcoming and inviting and inherently progressive when they're frequently insular and reductive as fuck. Every single fandom I've been in has had major trends of people doubling down on their own headcanons and fanon interpretations of the characters and willfully enacting trends aimed at running off people who like the 'wrong' characters (usually characters marginalized along one or multiple axes), like the characters in the 'wrong ways' or other bullshit.

Scott is a Bad Friend fics overtaking Teen Wolf fandom was not incidental, it was a FEATURE of the fandom, because the vast majority of that fandom did not want to share its space with anyone who had the nerve to like its main character. Survivors complaining about or criticizing the prevalance of rape fics in a certain fandom has in my experience always led to a reactionary UPTICK in those fics, with gems like 'this character can, will, must be raped' in the tags making it crystal clear that some of these fics exist because how fucking DARE anyone try and push forth a narrative not agreed upon by Fandom Main.

I could cite examples for so many other fandoms, with the commonalities always being that vast majorities in these fandoms are explicitly reacting defensively to being asked to be more mindful of fandom trends revolving around or exacerbating racism, homophobia, transphobia, rape or abuse apologia, ableism, etc....

With the most prolific fucking rallying cry across countless fandoms being "No the fuck we will NOT be doing that," because lolololol.....

Fandom is an inherently progressive space, didn't you hear?

[flowersandfashion]

how have we regressed so much as a society where gawain and the green knight is way more queer in the 14th century poem than the 2021 film. where is the lord and lady bertilak bisexual polycule? the milf morgan le fay/guinevere toxic yuri?

[persephoneprice]

i love seeing all those posts about ableism in the hunger games! it makes me so happy to see how educated younger people are towards mental health/physical disabilities.

i think everyone is bringing up such wonderful points about a lot of things.

the only thing i will say that i kind of disagree on is the criticism of katniss. not that people are wrong to point out that her thoughts are ableist, they are! but it’s also important to remember that this is a teenager in a district that hardly teaches more than coal mining.

katniss does not have the same access to the education that we have! she has never been given the chance to learn the things that we all know about alcoholism and mental health. she’s a child who grew up with a mother suffering from mental health issues and had to the pressure of taking care of her entire family from a young age.

[canarydraws]

Putting wips of your characters from different campaigns on the same page is a mistake I was just trying to compare them for height reference and I accidentally created a fairy gf/goth gf dynamic! Now I’m SAD and MAD because these two are my own characters and the only way I’ll ever get to see them together is if I go off the rails and actually draw AU content for them!

…which I might. I have no idea what I’d draw but literally them just standing on the same page is cute and I want to see what my 5’5 space paladin and my 6’3 pf magus would do if they ever existed in the same room

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

[cancerian-woman]

It could be(it is) from TVDU’s racism but you would think that after Davina’s death and Kol’s rants on being ignored in the family he would’ve sided with Marcel and not against him..

[thegreatyin]

and with that, evolution is complete.

i do think the scoundrel made the right choice, in the end. maybe- potentially- they think so too.

[hecksupremechips]

My madoka magica hot take is I like sayaka/kyoko as a ship more than madoka/homura

[moe-broey]

Sketch I accidentally put too close between other doodles

[curiosity-killed]

i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much

[theriu]

Sometimes people respond in good faith or at least politeness to a controversial comment you make on a post, and I appreciate those people. But sometimes it reaches a point where mostly bad faith nasty comments are made in reply and its better to delete the comment so as to have peace of mind about checking my notifications.

Ive also learned to avoid making the FIRST comment on a sensitive post, because tumblr defaults to Oldest First and so everyone who looks there sees your comment first. At least when you comment somewhere in the middle people have to read a bit before they get the chance to be offended at you 😅

[samuelroukin]

not gonna izzy's death made me not wanna interact with the fandom anymore cause it's a bit depressing, but i still really appreciate your blog and gifs so thank u

oof same, but i'm trying to get over it. most of the season for sure had flaws but wasn't too bad, and most importantly (to me) i had fun with it so i'm trying not to let one truly bad episode sour that (even if that episode is just. near unforgivably terrible)

[ultimateinferno]

You know. I think it kind of flattens Makima's character to presume the limits of her manipulation begin and end with sex appeal. Like even if it's not through the lens of Denji's impressionable teen sexuality, there is in some expectation that those she preys upon are in some manner attracted to her. Within the limits of the narrative that's fine enough since the themes largely involve sex and intimacy in some way. I think the nature of Makima as the Devil of Conquest/Control actually broadens her toolkit when it comes to relationships.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think so long as some form of positive relationship with her is initiated--be it sexual, romantic, familial, platonic or whatever--she has a foothold in a person's psyche enough to influence and subjugate them given enough time. Because the thing is, to her all relationships is a power dynamic in some way, and she's always trying to put herself on top. While a lot of her characterization is indicative of succubi, her nature encompasses all forms of control.

She's the manager who impairs working conditions, pinning it all on corporate and painting herself as just another worker standing her ground. She's the best friend fighting the whole world for you, while always subtly pitting you against it. She's the parental figure, just trying her damnedest to keep you afloat, but you keep wasting it.

Ultimately, I think the only true consistency with Makima's relationships is the end goal. Fostering total dependency.