#just need to isolate myself

[pardonmydelays]

is everything okay? you're offline for so long

i don't really have the will to live anymore

[positivelyadhd]

reminder that making time for your friends, even when you're tried and socialising feels overwhelming is important to do every so often. it's especially important to do this actually.

time alone can be good, for a time, but humans are social creatures and we need to talk to people, there's nothing wrong with that!!

sometimes the more time you spend alone the more your brain will tell you to stay alone. that's not true, you're allowed to (and should!!) see people that are important to you. sometimes that alone can be surprisingly healing.

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[bonetrousledbones]

Can you tell us your the reasons for why you like Papyrus? (I’m sure you’ve did this before xd, but I always enjoyed rambles about Papyrus. Hope you’re well!)

oh it is 100% his whole loneliness thing. growing up i was a chronic friend group hopper all the way from kindergarten to 8th grade and then by high school that didn't work anymore so i just kinda didn't have any genuine friends for basically that entire 4 years. so hyperfixating so hard on a character who's basically completely centered around that struggle helped me feel a bit less hopeless about it. the funny thing is i think pre-undertale papyrus actually had more friends than i did back then but like its the little things

that's why this fic that i'm gonna plug again hit me so hard tbh. shit sucks when you're trying so so hard to be friendly and engage in other people and then you get to a point where you have to realize they're not at all interested in returning the favor, even if they're not overtly rude about it or anything, they just don't care to get to know you any deeper than surface level convenience and it gets real hard to not let yourself get angsty about it lmao

i do think that while sometimes i wish i hadn't been given such free internet access as a kid i'm still really lucky that i was able to be exposed to undertale when i was. it's such a unapologetically hopeful game that i'm sure it absolutely impacted the way that i think about things today in terms of optimism and the ability to turn bad situations around, and papyrus plays a huuuge part of that entire message. if it weren't for him, i'm honestly not sure if i would've had the drive to keep trying to connect with other people even when it didn't work for so long.

so tl;dr thank you funny little skeleton man for constantly reminding me that making friends is still possible even when your demeanor is frankly weird as fuck. sometimes you just gotta keep truckin until you find your people even if it takes a while

[angellurgy2]

in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full.  others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks.  though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe  in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment,  i dream of nothing but hope.  for days where i could, for the days i would dream.  sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving.  gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it.  in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls

(in response to this confession)

[teastarfall]

shout out to little nightmares for teaching me how to draw things other than generic anime girls, ily little nightmares ^_^

[moe-broey]

What's this?!?!

A SECOND SUMMONER WITH A STEEL CHAIR?!?!??!??

BEHOLD. Summoner VickyT, Legendary Accountant, Avid Collector of Manga (unfortunately sparse to non-existent in Askr), and older sister of Moe!!!

When my sister @vickyt-mv / @sotiredmostnights made her design, I was EAGER. EAGER. To figure out how I'd draw her! And parse out the dynamic between her and Moe!!

Something really fun was getting them to look like siblings, when they look quite different! It's all in the face, I think! And... adding a little something, a personal touch... VickyT's halo cowlick ties into Moe's horns!

I also. Attempted Heel Math. The dreaded heel math.

But to be so real I may just go off of vibes. Just know that there are supposedly canon heights, here. These doodles are also to compare their outfits! Esp in how they match... Because. Well.

Universal constant, so it seems.....

That's all for now!!!!! I do have..... Lore...... extensive Lore......... but don't you worry about that. Yet.

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[skibasyndrome]

.

[brown-little-robin]

I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again

[aimlesswalker]

I just want to be some guy

As a trans man, I don’t really feel like I belong anywhere in the lgbt+ community because I’ll never be attractive to anyone (which is why I ID as queer but even then I feel outcast) and it…. it really hurts sometimes. I’m simultaneously too masculine and not masculine enough.

in the men who are attracted to men spaces, most people when they see me think I’m a twink because of being short/small and/or for being trans/nonbinary. They think I’m hairless, feminine, boyish, submissive, etc. I’m…. at this point in my life I am really really not. Testosterone has made me male and everything that entails. I’ve gained (healthy! good for me!) weight and my stomach sticks out, I’m covered in body hair, I am partway to balding. All the things that are conventionally unattractive about men. All the things that are demonized in trans men. I’m too masculine to fit their idea of a nonbinary person. But masculine in “the wrong way”. I have to either be muscular/fit or small and hairless to be wanted here. I don’t even count as a bear, you’d probably just call my shape a “dad bod”. This isn’t just some vague feeling I get in these spaces- people have legit said to me “oh I love twinks” or “oh I love femboys” and I have to awkwardly explain that no I’m not one actually. I’m not what they want me to be. And I’m really tired of people placing that expectation on me- that I’m a slender hairless twink who is submissive and likes bottoming. Just because I’m small and/or trans. so gross. 

and then in the women who are attracted to men spaces well… they’d never look twice at me. I’m short and not at all muscular/toned/fit. Again, I have gained weight, am hairy, and halfway to bald. Bedsides not being conventionally attractive- they usually want a man who can “provide”. I am disabled and can’t work. I can’t drive. I can’t give them flowers or pick them up for a date. I can’t be any of the things they’re looking for in a partner. Being disabled makes me seen as “less than”. Being dependent on other people is a trait that is endlessly mocked in men. I’m not masculine enough. 

so where the fuck does that leave me? I’m not even going to talk about how being aromantic in queer spaces alienates me further. I love testosterone, I love what it’s done for me and how I feel healthier on it. But like. fuck. I don’t feel like I’m ever going to be attractive to anyone. I never get to feel pretty or handsome. I never get to feel happy about my appearance anymore and that makes me so sad. I used to derive so much joy from picking out outfits and accessorizing and applying glittery make up. I’m too sick to leave the house ever so I don’t do those things anymore, besides the fact that I *can’t* present feminine anymore without risking my safety. People would assume I’m a trans woman and act accordingly because they see a man attempting to be feminine. I am fully man and fully nonbinary, but I never get to exist as both at the same time. I can’t be feminine without people invalidating/forgetting my manhood. I can’t be masculine without people invalidating/forgetting my nonbinary-ness. I’m too masculine for nonbinary spaces and too nonbinary for masculine spaces. I just…….. I get incredibly sad about this.

And people generally don’t care??? the sentiment seems to be that trans men who are masculine, who pass, who are stealth, etc don’t belong in the lgbt+ community, shouldn’t be in lgbt+ or queer spaces. They’re not wanted there because of being masculine. These spaces are only for “non-men”. But the second you talk about your struggles as a trans man as a reason for why you should be included, you get pegged as an owo twink femboy to most people. It’s always one or the other (demonized or infantilized) and I’m really fucking sick of it. It hurts. I just want to be some guy.

[ashmp3]

I talked about this but i think me not making a move on someone is like a pendulum swinging between me genuinely not wanting a relationship because i am so comfortable with always being alone and between being deeply insecure and afraid of rejection. but i’m chilling

[professionaljester]

love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time

[hyunekit]

pretty privilege is real (don't know how I'm getting this much attention when I'm just brain rotted and silly)