#just mestiza things

[sephirajo]

I really really hate James Cameron’s Avatar series.  I really hate that racist POS is popular.  I hate that white people make indigenous people into aliens and then talk about how they didn’t fight hard enough to live, obviously.  It’s right up there with Road to el Dorado for things i fucking hate that gringos fucking love for no other reason than being racist shitbags.

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[yawnderu]

ah I didn’t know u were indigenous !! 💕 I’ve been imagining indigenous!bimbo!reader with a huge collection of beaded earrings in all sorts of cute designs (pink bows, hearts, etc etc) bc I keep finding indigenous designers on insta lol anyway she’s so slay and ily don’t listen to the haters

yeah!! I'm mestiza, my mum is a white latina while my dad is brown and indigenous :')

Ahh yes!! I just know she'd ROCK beaded earrings in very cute designs, and would even learn how to make her own beaded jewelry, even making matching rings with Simon long before he proposes, simply because she likes matching things with her Si💗

Simon goes to many different countries so if possible, he'd also be buying her beads and bringing them home as a gift for her!!

[gatheringbones]

[“It can be difficult for people raised as girls to express rage when we’ve been taught from very early on that it is in our best interest to suppress our anger. It is culturally acceptable for women to be sad, not angry. In one study on gender, anger, and the workplace, the participants conferred higher status to sad female employees than to angry ones. For men the opposite was true. Men, particularly white men, are rewarded and forgiven for their anger, while women are penalized and blamed.

Ceci, the mestiza paralegal, now lives in Los Angeles with her husband, five-year-old son, and twenty-two-year-old stepdaughter. She described herself using the exact language of a woman who was taught by the culture not to value or express her anger: “I’m a people pleaser. I don’t rock the boat. I go along with everything, do what people tell me.” This is the path of being a good girl, a good woman, and eventually a good mother. Lifelong gendered learning teaches people raised to be women to push down anger and any feelings in the “sub-anger” ballpark, such as annoyance, irritation, and frustration. I imagine this emotional push-down like the carnival game whack-a-mole. Each time an uncomfortable or unpleasant anger-related feeling pops up—whack!—women automatically bang it with a big-headed mallet, sending it back beneath the surface.

Like the rage itself, this game of anger whack-a-mole is an international phenomenon for women. In Korea, there is a culture-related anger syndrome called hwa-byung. It translates literally to “illness of fire” and mostly affects working-class middle-aged housewives, who have chronically suppressed anger stemming from strict gender roles, gender-based inequality, and patriarchal family structures. In traditional Latin American folk medicine, it is believed that holding onto certain emotions can cause physical illness. In Northeast Brazil, the term engolir sapos translates to “swallowing frogs,” and is mostly used by women to refer to the suppression of anger and irritation, and the pressure to tolerate unfair treatment without complaint.

Cheryl, the Black civil rights lawyer who internalizes her mom rage, is practiced at playing whack-a-mole with her anger: “I’m good at repressing things. So, a little problem, I repress it, and it gets packed on top of all the other things that make me mad, until there’s no way to untangle it. It’s just this huge tangle of anger that I’m trying to disassociate from all the time.” In our present-day culture of busy, intensive motherhood, stuffing down unpleasant emotions can be a matter of practicality. Minutes are a precious resource, and airing every frustration is a time expense that modern mothers cannot afford. Emails must be sent, dinner needs to get into bellies, and bodies need to snuggle under covers. But the perceived time-saver of the Emotional Whack-a-Mole phase is a mirage. Every time a mom suppresses her angry feelings, as she’s been taught to do her entire life, she is pushing them onto an ever-growing pile of anger inside her. Eventually, the pile will topple.”]

minna dubin, from mom rage: the everyday crisis of modern motherhood, 2023

[ruemzip]

Here's the thing I could do to draw Marko's family for the first time :D

Ramble under the cut uhhh

My English it's not the best I hope it's understandable :'D

Sooo, Vicente is a Peninsular (A child full Spaniard heritage but born in America), and Sole is Mestiza (Child half Spaniard half native)

Sole's family were merchandisers and Vicente's family (vieng full Spaniard) owned lands, crops and slaves

It was very rare at the time but both Sole and Vicente fell in love with each other, so they married and had children :D

Vicente's parents end up going back to Spain with their other children (so Marko's cousins are full Spaniard), but Vicente wanted to stay in New Spain with Sole

They are not rich, but they have some land in Mexico (in that time, a New Spain state), but as their children were mestizos, for Vicente it was important them to make themselves worthy, so after Maria was born, they moved to Florida closer to United Colonies

So, even if their first four children were girls, Vicente made sure they all were well educated both in Spanish and English

When Marko was born, Florida went from belonging to Spain to Britain, and Vicente started pushing Marko a lot more for being the first boy, now born in a British Colony

(The children were already less worthy than full Spaniard or even Peninsulares, now being foreigner in a British colony it would be hard for Marko to build a worthy life)

Sole got weak with Marko's birth and he was sick during all Marko's childhood, until Marko was five and she died

Vicente loved Sole so much it was difficult not thinking she died because of Marko, and the boy wasn't good at all (he couldn't read, he was clumsy and was too attached to his mother)

So he went from calm but firm man, to a strict and emotionally distant. Specially when in the same year Sole died, Marko started with vitiligo symptoms

Fran was the oldest and biggest proud of Vicente, so he just focused on her and let Marko under the care of his three other sisters

When Marko turned 15 Vicente decided it was about being time for him to be a man, and send him to the war to fight for the country they were living in and then moved back to Mexico, forcing Marko to join the army or find a way to survive

Marko tryed to scape to Spain because he remembers he had some family there, but while he was making a stop in England, he was forced to join the royal army

While Marko's in the war, their sisters and father were in New Spain. They weren't that rich, but they keep studying

Till Maria and Bell mainly, decided they wanted to do the same as their mom, an started moving all around the country together, selling clothes and clay stuff

Fran and Bea got married not very long after Marko was left behind

When 1783 came and Marko didn't appear, they all assumed he had died either in war or in any other scenario. It was just Marko not being willing to go back. He missed his sisters but he was angrier with his father than he loved his sisters (they were way older than him, and they were always loved by Vicente, the opposite of what Marko felt)

So it wasn't till 1798 when Marko met his family again :D

[stirringwinds]

Can I ask what Maria & Antonio’s relationship has been like through the ages? Like, Al & Arthur have Crown Prince vs Old King, but what’s the vibe with Maria & Antonio? She was Crown Jewel of Spanish Empire. Do Spain & Cuba view each other as Father-Son? What about the rest of Central & South America? Also, Brazil & Portugal? Sorry for so many questions.

hey! thanks for the question—i will focus just on Maria (Mexico) and Antonio here, whom i have the clearest headcanons for.

how i personally headcanon it: Antonio and Maria are somewhat similar, but also different from Arthur and Alfred— so, a father/daughter dynamic. he is her "father"—in the usual, loaded nation sense of 'his actions caused her to come into being' and/or 'he has shaped her culturally'. just as in human families, not all fathers are good ones: so father-daughter here doesn't mean 'this is a healthy, cosy domestic dynamic'. after all, imperialism also shapes people and families intimately; Antonio is her "father" similarly to how Arthur is to Alfred—it's the dynamic of imperial power, authority and lineage. from the POV of humans who saw them both in 16th century Mexico City, they read them as 'oh, a spanish lord and his mestiza daughter.' he does have her officially legitimised (as some conquistadores historically did with their multiracial children).

nonetheless, like all nations, she isn’t born the human way. and in reality, she has more than two "parents"— at the very least, from a young age she'd been aware also of her connection to Mexica (who headed the powerful Triple Alliance commonly referred to as the "Aztec Empire") and Tlaxcala (another Nahuatl-speaking state and Mexica's long-time enemy, who made an alliance with the Spanish and furnished most of the soldiers during the siege of Tenochtitlan, the Mexica seat of power. Antonio's actions contributed to her being born—but so did Mexica and Tlaxcala's. thus, while Antonio tries to assert cultural dominance (speaking Spanish and religion for example), Maria always navigated it differently, rather than him being able to transplant his culture wholesale (such as with how cultural syncretism occurred re: religion in Mexico) because it was simply impossible for her not to be unaware of her non-European heritage. as i see it, from young, she was always fluent in Nahuatl (the language of both Mexica and Tlaxcala), not just Spanish.

much like Arthur did for Alfred, I see him being the one who picked the name 'Maria' for her. for Antonio, on some messed-up level, he sees himself in her and that’s one thing that underlies his willingness to legitimise her as his daughter: he understands himself as being born in the conquest and bloodshed inflicted by Rome and Carthage— and many others who came subsequently (your birth being someone else's misfortune or even death, is one thing that is understandably jarring from our point of view, but taken for granted by older nations). as I see it, “Antonio” came from Rome naming him “Antonius”. Hispania was fought over by Rome and Carthage in part for its rich silver mines, after all—and while history doesn't repeat, sometimes it rhymes. as it was with Alfred, while she was seen as the prestigious 'jewel' in the spanish crown, her relationship with her father was always riven by the contradictions imposed by imperialism.

Antonio claims her as his daughter, and his name and authority gives her access to certain things—but that acceptance and privilege was often conditional and inconsistent (as was the experience of many real mixed-race people during that time who had powerful fathers—or as in my own family re: the context of British and French imperialism in the 20th century), and there was no ignoring the imperial hierarchy in place in the wider colony-empire dynamic, even if Antonio was at times personally affectionate or indulgent towards her. so, while she was well-educated and had many social opportunities, she did feel the imperial hierarchy quite keenly. i feel that sometimes, she felt similarly to Alfred (and maybe even more so, given the richness of Mexico's silver mines and dramatic stories being told about the "Aztec" Empire/Mexica in Europe) in that she was being shown off for her father's status rather than being understood as a person. i will leave it here for this ask, for now, but overall, it was a relationship similar in some ways to Arthur and Alfred, in the sense of paternal authority and imperial hierarchy—but of course, also different due to the ways British and Spanish colonial policies in the Americas diverged.

[not-so-rosyyy]

I have a question do some Filipino consider themselves Pacific Islander in Guam we have a lot of people from there who say they are but when I visit the states many would identify as Asian I’m just curious the lilo and stitch live action may me think a lot about how colonization ruin the islands in the pacific and people don’t know what a native Hawaiian actually is

hi! sorry for the late response to this. as far as I can tell, this debate of how Filipinos identify is only an issue in the diaspora, most especially with young Filipino-Americans. but for those of us here in the Philippines, I can tell you we don't identify as Pacific Islanders. we're geographically located in Southeast Asia, so for all it's worth, WE ARE ASIANS.

all of this is a bit more complicated, tho. I think most of the confusion with our identity stems from the fact that America tends to lump Asians & Pacific Islanders together in one category. but since our people's culture & history are very unique from the rest of our Asian neighbors, Fil-Ams struggle to find where they really belong in the cultural melting pot.

they sometimes find it hard to identify strictly as Asians, because "asian" in the US is often only associated with those from the Sinosphere (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc). most Americans and those very same Asian neighbors also tend to exclude Filipinos from the group because we have more similiarities with Latin cultures now due to having been a Spanish colony for 300+ hundreds years. (we used to be part of the Spanish East Indies that also included Guam, in fact). but then, we also can't identify as Hispanic since...well, we obviously aren't. we do share a genealogical history and Austronesian heritage with Pacific Islanders, though (for example: similar language, tribal tattooing, etc).

so, all things considered, I think the feeling of being an outsider in the Asian community is part of the reason why some Fil-Ams identify more with Pacific Islanders. and I can't really fault them for that.

to me, however, it's absurd to strictly classify us into a single ethnic category. we're a multi-race nation. a typical Filipino family can have one member look like chinese, another will look mestiza, and another one will look like your average polynesian. some of our indigenous peoples are even black. our people's ethnic DNA is a rainbow, and--I say this without exaggeration--our skin colors are literally the Fenty shade range.

that said, the Lilo & Stitch casting debacle is still a mistake...and not so much because of ethnicity, but because of ✨colorism✨. the girl they cast as Nani is mixed European-Filipino, and is clearly fair-skinned...and Nani is very much NOT.

[aylinvail]

Heinrix bleeding after an attack. Rana forgetting he's a psyker for a brief moment and taking off her pañuelo to tie the wound. Except the pañuelo is the only thing keeping a traje de mestiza's top half remotely modest. That's see through fabric. Fucking slut. And he's just standing there looking like he's actually losing blood. Esta bien pa ba tu? Uh… yes, of course, I was simply distracted for a moment, Ra- Your Ladyship.

[anexperimentallife]

One thing to keep in mind when considering a move to the Philippines is that you will never be able to blend into a crowd if you are white-passing or Black. (Some Latin American/Indigenous American folks can pull it off until they speak, because everyone will just assume they're part of the large mestiza population here, just as a lot of Filipinos in the US are mistaken for Latinos or Indigenous folks.)

Which is a real issue if you're a white-passing autistic (like me) having an "I don't want to be perceived" kind of day.

[ghnosis]

Ghost dissertation bibliography as of 30 May 2024

hey! some of you were curious to read things I'm working on/my bib. my comprehensive exam is 18th June, so these aren't like, FINAL final (in terms of citation formatting), but they're pretty darn close.

I'll probably paste the contextual review document I've been writing for 2 years as well - it's awaiting final say-so from my supervisors right now.

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[sephirajo]

The thing i hate most about this website is the number of preachy vegans who have never studied how nature actually works. We need to bring that shit back to schools. Even your salad was bought with blood and death, just human blood and plant death. But thats okay if the cute animals live 🤦‍♀️i just can't please learn how nature actually works and leave ndn people and our food alone

[cartelheir]

— 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓.

name: patricia carosella.

name meaning: patricia is a name of latin origin that means noble or patrician.

alias/es:  pat. in the runaway verse, she goes by the fake name sofia borbón, but not in other verses.

ethnicity: mexican / mestiza.

one picture / icon you like best of your character:

i love this picture because it's just The essence of pat. the outfit, the jewelry, the surroundings, the way she's looking at you like you're dirt under her shoe, everything. this is how she looks like 99% of the time.

three h/cs you never told anyone:

pat has maids coming to her home daily, and as a result she does literally zero chores. she hates cleaning with a passion. over time she's gotten used to have at least one maid around all the time, so she doesn't care about things such as having an incredibly personal conversation on the phone with a friend while they might be listening. it's like they're not even there.

due to her history, pat cares a lot about sexual assault victims as well as the femicide victims in mexico. she donates a lot of money to charities that try to find the missing women, or ones that fight against human trafficking. she's aware that a lot of the men she works with in the cartel participate in it, and it's one of the things she'd like to change if she was in charge of things.

pat and her family attended church weekly when she was a child, but she was never too much of a believer. she just liked singing at choir and hanging out with the other kids, but even when she was really young she remembers thinking :/ idk if this god guy actually exists. despite her skepticism, there was also a part of pat who feared god WAS real and he'd punish her for doubting him. she was convinced he would make her choke to death on the sacramental bread. she avoided eating it for months.

three things your character likes doing in their free time: 

music. she can play piano and guitar, and she also has a very nice singing voice and a hell of a lot of stage presence, if she would ever get on a stage again. her parents used to say she was gonna be a bigger star than selena quintanilla, but well, life got in the way.

going out to dance. or to just have drinks with friends.

shopping. like any toxic rich person, pat thinks she's entitled to spend her money on whatever the fuck she wants, and she often splurges on useless luxury items.

people your character likes / loves:

ángel salazar is a npc i probably won't bring over to the rpc so he won't be part of her storyline, but i had to mention him because in my original writing for pat, he's very important to her. for those who remember the román days, that's not him, but his story is slightly inspired on him.

luisa ríos, her mom. they don't get along most of the time and pat has more than enough reasons to hate her, but she can't stop caring.

martina carosella; pat's aunt, javier's younger sister. they're besties.

santiago guzmán, pat's bodyguard and chauffeur. wherever she is, he's usually around. she's not sure if she'd consider him a friend, but she trusts him. in very vulnerable, drunken nights, she might've vented about one personal thing or two to him.

two things your character regrets:

getting involved with césar. she tries to forgive herself for it, because she was just a child who didn't know any better, but she often thinks about how different her life would've turned out if she'd never met him.

not reclaiming pristine airlines earlier. she was reasonably scared of the cartel doing another attempt on her life. but to think that she was broke for all those years when it was her right to inherit the company? those are years of her life that she wasted being poor.

one phobia your character has:

dogs. she was attacked by one as a child. the bigger they are, the worse her fear is, but tbh she's a little scared of the small cutesy ones too. they can smell her fear.

tagged : stolen from the dash. tagging: @artmadc, @sleazygoing, @lcvnderhazed, @parieur, @wellfell / @r4bidog, @flmed, @embodies, @vitalphenomena, @dogtccth, as usual i encourage everyone else to steal this from me

[qwertyu858]

I think its funny the way the current mexican goverment is pushing the whole "afro-mexicano" identification thing. Like "race" in mexico is (officially, legally) determined by one question. "Do you consider yourself [X]?" And thats all.

In fact, I have answered that I am white or mestiza or native in diferent ocasions and diferent legal stuff just for shits and giggles. And working in a birth room of a hospital, you could never guess if the women would say "native" or "mixed" or any other term. Sometimes they even 'changed' races between every birth of their kids.

Its all a game of play believe. At least for the vast, vast majority of people.

So now they are like "can you believe the afro-mexican population grew more than 5% in only two years?!?" Like yeah, you offered scholarships and other money, ofc more people will now say that instead of just mixed.

[kulay-ng-banaag]

“Before they were Perlas ng Silanganan they were Hija del sol de Oriente. They might as well look it.”

Physical Appearance (General) Headcanons for HWS Philippines

CW: mentions of body injury

‼ UPDATE (07/30/24): Few additions made; glazed images with personal art

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Skin Color: Moreno. Neutral undertone. Beautifully sun-kissed and proudly brown, after long hours under the sun, whether it be from toiling in the fields or wading in the waters.

Historically, mestizo/a* is used to refer to Filipinos of mixed Spanish blood. These days, it generally applies to anyone that appear foreign, if only by way of their fair skin.

*Grammatical gender is just not a thing in PH languages, even after integrating Spanish terms. As to the use of the term Filipinx, here's some great commentary by a PH linguist.

While I'm aware that fair-skinned Southeast Asians exist, fair-skinned Piri does not match up to how I view him spending the vast majority of his time outdoors & only wearing clothes that fully cover his limbs for formal occasions. No way is he going be white as non-existent-in-this-tropical-climate snow after 1500+ years in the fields and the seas and the wars in-between.

I, the artist behind all this terrible lore you all must suffer, may pass off as mestiza but the Philippines’ story encompasses many, not just the (mestizo) educated middle-class folks like me. I think that’s a fair (haha, ironic) enough representation.

If it means anything, Piri will rather eat papaya, not soak in it.

I did not think we would ever have discourse about skin whitening trends, but apparently we did. tl;dr unpack that sh*t.

☼ ☼ ☼

Hair Color: I hate rendering pure black hair so there will always be a subtle brownish or blueish undertone. In Piri's case, I use a warm and very dark shade of brown as the base color. Like the grains of Balatinaw black rice grown in the Cordillera terraces, or the liberica beans cultivated in the Batangueño lowlands.

While I have joked that Piri disappears from the chapters because he has been at the salon getting his hair bleached, I personally wish that that last-minute change in detail never occurred. Upgrades to color palettes are all a natural part of the art glowup, but tossing that in the middle of a story arc ended up selling so weird to me. I live in the metro and you are bound to bump into Filipinos with bleached hair (I, myself, did so if only to nab my dream pink mane), but even people who dye their hair are rare still. You're more likely to encounter those who opted for brown highlights instead.

The ahoge is a surprise because it isn't in the Dec. 2020 teaser sketch, and I figure it's an allusion to the American influence - or maybe it's that Himaruya quirk of giving characters ahoges. Ngl, without the ahoge, Piri will look like a stereotypical BL manhwa uke.

☼ ☼ ☼

Hairstyle: Side-swept hair with a fluffy & layered fringe.

It’s a trending hairstyle you’ll find with guys around here, albeit with an undercut instead of the unswept hair being combed down (in Piri’s case as I draw it). For formal occasions, all he has to do is slather the hair gel onto the fringe.

Piri was long past his 90s/early 2000s kachupoy phase.

I struggle with describing hairstyles through words (this is why I vibed with comics as a medium). I have recreated IndoPhil in my Sims 4 game there as closely as possible to how I imagine and the hairstyles I have given them are exactly what I have in mind.

☼ ☼ ☼

Eye Color: Dark brown that becomes a fiery amber under direct sunlight. Glimmering like precious gold beneath the rich earth.

Any "color changes" are just reflections from light sources (ex. for scenes/illustrations where I let his eyes go gold, it’s playing on how dark brown eyes under direct sunlight can appear amber). I’d demonstrate with my own but I rather not burn my own eyes out for the aesthetic, so I have pulled out these images from a Google search instead.

Other headcanon colors I’ve seen (pearl, ube) are cute! I use pearl eyes for the diwata!Piri I've drawn (not sirena!Piri, because his shiny golden tail is already a huge, enamoring de...tail 🥁).

Nonetheless, I’m also content with the eye color I started with.

☼ ☼ ☼

Height: I imagined him around 5’5” since the beginning, so I’m keeping the canon number. To quote one of my favorite nonfiction reads, the Philippines is not a small country.

Physique: Now I vehemently deny Himaruya’s canon for this. Maybe it’s on me growing up in an urban city littered with gym boys, but trust me when I say that Piri is absolutely THAT bakla who will use a photo revealing his well-built upper body as a Twitter profile picture.

I declare myself a twunk Piri artist. Some references I would cite are:

1). The UP Oblation statue.

2). Swimmer bods (if you don't believe, just look at the Free! anime)

3). Josh Dela Cruz!!!!!!

Piri did not earn his canon (modified) navy uniform nor go through a history book’s worth of revolutions, only to come out of it all a twink. As a Gemini, he’s full of physical adrenaline and that all has to go somewhere (chatting it away will not be enough).

He is of a swimmer build (think of the boys of Free!), with lean, softly-defined muscles, wider - if not broader - upper body (shoulders, biceps, back), narrow waistline, and fairly plump thighs. He also has what one will describe as a cute butt.

Piri is definitely not as beefy as Indo nor as chiseled as Thai (and hopefully I’ll sketch out the other SEAnigang too to explain this better). Admittedly, I also think it is ten times sexier to best know how sculpted Piri is by feeling his body (abang Indo, take notes!!). So yes, I have given my country abs, because if Hima won't I will he dasurvs it.

As a fun extra comparison, both Piri and Indo are the heavy eaters (in more ways than one, too) of the SEAnigang. Both will happily finish the leftovers from barkada eat-outs. Piri remains slim because he has higher metabolism.

☼ ☼ ☼

Scars: He has a couple from bullet wounds across his collarbone. There is a nasty, large burn scar on his right side. His back has clearly taken multiple hits, and they have left quite the damage to the tattoos that have come before.

To me, nations can take hits and physically heal up just fine (the rate of recovery honestly varied). Some things simply leave a lasting mark.

Tattoos: That gets its own post.

[pretentiousneurodivergentvampire]

"I will have my serpent's tongue--my woman's voice, my sexual voice, my poet's voice. I will overcome the tradition of silence." -Gloria Anzaldúa, Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza

Some context: Anzaldúa's chapter, "How to Tame a Wild Tongue," discusses her experiences with language (Chicana Spanish) and how it contributed to an awakening of class/group consciousness within her. Reinforcement of a patriarchal hierarchy through gendered grammar (Chicano/Latino as the masculine default); internalization of perceived "inferiority" of particular Spanish dialects breeding animosity amongst Spanish speakers; and censure of differing Spanish dialects in academia. Anzaldúa found empowerment in a cultural identity through language that has been historically marginalized.

I love this quote. As soon as I read it, I knew that I had to write about it, and how I might apply it to my own experiences. I've recently been having a bit of an identity crisis. I lack community. There are online spaces that I frequent, but they don't fulfill me. I suppose an online space can never truly bring the fulfillment I desire. I seek in-person community. Community of queer, trans, neurodivergent folks. I've yet to find one local to me that I feel safe and comfortable in.

In thinking about this, I remembered how isolated I've always been from my ethnic culture. My mother never taught my siblings and me Spanish, believing that we wouldn't need it in America. We never spent much time around her mother and her side of the family growing up (for justifiable reasons unrelated to culture). We never visited the Dominican Republic, instead opting to take the more "American" vacations on the rare occasions that we had one.

At 25 years old, I feel more disconnected from my Dominican heritage than ever. I don't blame my mother for this. I don't blame anyone, really. But it makes me think about what I may have been missing for most of my life. It doesn't help that I've inherited light skin from my father's side, making me feel like I have less of a right to call myself Dominican in comparison to my siblings. I have the benefit of passing as white, never failing to surprise others when I reveal that most of my family is Black. Part of me enjoys the series of expressions that cross their faces in the span of a second. Part of me feels sorrow, knowing that they'll look at me differently because they now know I'm mixed.

I take back what I said about not blaming anyone. I blame myself. I could learn more. I want to learn more. I will learn more. And maybe one day, I will feel like I can take pride in my heritage. Maybe I'm being unkind to myself, internalizing the inferiority Anzaldúa referred to, albeit not in the exact same way. All this to say, I haven't found my serpent's tongue yet. But I want to. My serpent's tongue will be queer. It will be trans. It will be feminine (my own femininity). It will be neurodivergent. It will be not just a political identity of my intersectional identities, but a personal identity, one that I can detach from an idea of "the personal is political." My serpent's tongue will incorporate all of the things that make me who I am. And I will use it to empower others.

[makarovni]

The funny thing about Paige is that she is not a natural blonde or have natural blue eyes. She's mestiza, mostly Indigenous with the tiniest bit of Spanish, there's no way in hell she'd have those features naturally. It's because she's inspired by Paris Hilton in many aspects (in canon being a huge fan of Paris and from me making those decisions as I created Paige) and Paris has naturally dark hair and brown eyes and colors her hair blonde and wears contacts. So that's why Paige does. She has a couple of alternate costumes where she has her natural hair and eyes and she also has some intro lines mentioning it, like she mentions to Cassie she's jealous of her natural blonde hair.

But yeah, bleach and contacts. Paige just wanted to follow her fashion idol.