#just me repeating everything in my head until it doesn't even sound real

[cozy-possum]

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There will always be good and bad The scale will always sway when you choose the weight it shows It will always be a choice but never mine I am outside of the situation I am outside of the problem Yet I'm the catalyst How does a catalyst exist outside the area of damage? It doesn't I simply have not assessed the damage I've suffered I cannot be harmed if I'm not aware I’m bleeding right?

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[gyubakeries]

𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 | c.sc

a/n: for some reason the ask got deleted 😭 but an anon asked for something scoups related, so, anon, if you're seeing this, hi! thanks for requesting! i kept brainstorming, and finally came up with this, so i hope you like it! (sorry the ask got deleted im hopeless w technology 😭)

word count: 2.1k contents: seungcheol x afab!reader , gymbro!cheol , i have 0 gym knowledge forgive me , seungcheol and reader are dating , bullying mingyu is a canon event , lots of fluff , cheol being a green flag as always , slight angst , mentions of insecurities (but they have healthy communication about it!) , just overall cute vibes !

"i wanna go to the gym with you."

seungcheol looks up from his phone to direct his gaze at you. it's a thursday night, a rare day off for the both of you, and you had been in the process of selecting a movie for the night when you suddenly spoke.

"what?" seungcheol asks again, not sure if he heard you right the first time.

"i want to go to the gym with you," you repeat, meeting seungcheol's eyes reluctantly, trying to mask your ulterior motive with a smile.

seungcheol was taken aback, but don't get him wrong. he was a regular at the gym, but in your last three years of dating, he had never heard you wanting to accompany him to the gym. instead, you'd always said that you'd rather be at home than be surrounded by sweaty people, including seungcheol himself.

so why the sudden interest?

"babe, everything okay?" seungcheol asks. he knows asking questions may seem rude, but he notices the way the smile you're shooting at him doesn't feel genuine at all.

"yeah! i just wanted to see what was so great about the gym for you to spend hours there," you say, making up an excuse on the fly, hoping you sounded convincing enough.

seungcheol knew you through and through, and he also knew that you weren't telling him the entire truth. but instead of prying, he decides to agree to your request.

"alright,come with me tomorrow," he nods. "it's gonna be pretty intense though. mingyu tells me i'm a really strict gym trainer." he jokes.

"it's okay," you laugh, finally cracking a real smile. "i have a feeling i'll become your favorite student in no time."

"we'll see about that," seungcheol teases, and you drop the topic, shifting your attention back to choosing a movie.

seungcheol needs to get to the bottom of this.

-

the next day, seungcheol comes home from work, and like clockwork, he changes into his workout clothes and grabs his gym bag, ready to head out, but-

something feels different about today though....

"excuse me? were you forgetting your star student at home?" comes your voice, and he finally remembers. he turns to see you waiting in the kitchen, and any suspicions he had about your strange request melt away at the sight of you dolled up in the cutest workout fit. your hair was up in a ponytail, and you were wearing a baby pink sports bra with a matching pair of leggings. you even had a cute duffel bag packed with you.

"aw, baby, you look adorable," he coos. he walks towards the kitchen and stops in front of you to place a kiss to your forehead, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you into a hug. "also, i'd never forget my favorite student." he says defensively, and you laugh at his cuteness.

"sure, big guy," you chuckle. "let's get going, shall we?"

-

whatever worries had left his brain when he saw you at home had come back to him ten-fold at the gym. he started you off with some basic warm-up exercises and then the treadmill. the both of you jogged next to each other for a while. you had found all of this manageable until now, even though all the physical exertion had made you all sweaty, which in turn made you uncomfortable. you mask your uneasiness though, not wanting to alert seungcheol.

but he had already seen the signs of discomfort on your face. after the treadmill, he decided that he needs to take you home.

"i'm actually feeling really tired today, babe," he fake-yawns while you're sipping on some water. "how about we go home now and come back another day?"

"woah, you're tired just from some cardio?" someone speaks up from behind him, and it's mingyu.

how is he always at the gym?? seungcheol wonders, cursing mingyu's timing.

"i just had a long day at work. what are you doing here?" seungcheol rolls his eyes.

"working out, duh," mingyu retorts. "didn't you clock in late to work today, though? i've seen you less tired while you were working on three days of no sleep."

seungcheol really wants to punch mingyu in the face right now.

"if you're really feeling tired, we can head home," you butt in before seungcheol throws a dumbell at mingyu.

seungcheol would be relieved, if not for the way you look dejected and upset, and seungcheol would rather walk through fire than be the reason for that frown on your face, so he relents.

"it's okay, i'm feeling fine," he smiles. "we can continue, baby."

"just don't be all gross and couple-y," mingyu adds, and quickly scurries away before seungcheol can elbow him in the stomach.

after mingyu leaves, seungcheol gets you started on some basic squats. he shows you the correct posture, even helps you for the first few times till you get the hang of it.

finally, you gain the confidence to do the squats on your own, so you start off with a goal of completing 10. by the time you're on squat number 4, there's a burn in your thighs. you've heard people saying that it's supposedly a good burn, but right now, it's making you feel like your legs are going to snap into two, like twigs.

not wanting to embarrass yourself, you push through the remaining squats, collapsing to the floor after you finish them.

"hey! that was great!" seungcheol smiles cheerily. "i'm so proud of you. let's take a break and then we can move onto something else."

the next challenge: push-ups.

while you weren't a frequent gym-goer, you had an idea of how a push-up should be done. guided by seungcheol's instructions, you find yourself in the position to carry out some push-ups. once again, you set a goal of 10 and you start.

at push-up number 7, your arms give out and you lose your balance, your forehead bumping with the ground.

"shit. y/n, are you okay?" seungcheol is by your side in a blink, helping you up into a sitting posture. you look around the gym, and thankfully there weren't a lot of people around to see your disastrous attempt at push-ups, but you still felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"i'm sorry," you sniffle, tears welling up in your eyes as seungcheol gently rubs your forehead. "i'm sorry for being bad at this."

seungcheol freezes when he sees you cry. he knows you, and you weren't the type to cry from such a small failure. the uneasiness twists his gut; something is really wrong.

"baby, you have nothing to be sorry for," he says, tone firm yet gentle. "let's go home and talk about this, okay? you did a good job today, and you should rest."

leaving no room for negotiation, you let seungcheol gather both your belongings and walk you back home.

once you reach your shared apartment, you're aware of how sweaty and gross you are, your nose crinkling with disgust.

"i need to shower..." you mumble.

"you can head in first. call me if you need anything, okay?" seungcheol suggests. "i'll start on dinner."

you nod timidly and head towards the shower. a long and relaxing shower later, you're emerging from the bedroom in your comfiest pajamas, and a red spot on your forehead from the incident at the gym. you walk into the kitchen to see seungcheol putting down dinner on the table, freshly showered.

"you used the guest bathroom?" you ask, and he nods. you can tell that there's something on his mind, and you know its related to what happened today. knowing seungcheol, he likes to communicate whatever he has on his mind to maintain trust between you, so you eat dinner in silence, anticipating the conversation after.

once the dishes are washed and put away, you quickly go to bed, hoping to avoid any tough conversations by falling asleep early. but seungcheol is too aware of your tendencies, so he follows you to the bedroom, sitting next to you on the bed as you lay down.

"does it hurt a lot?" he asks, breaking the silence.

"my forehead? not that much. but the rest of my body is really sore," you admit truthfully.

"should i get you a painkiller for it?" seungcheol offers, and you shake your head. you've seen him come home from the gym complaining of sore muscles, but he never takes any medication for it, and you don't want to seem weak for doing so.

"you can take one, it won't make you weak," seungcheol says, as if he's read your thoughts. "what's going on, baby? i know something is bothering you, tell me what it is. let me help you."

the gentle tone to his voice makes you tear up immediately. you bring your hands up to your face as you cry. an alarmed seungcheol is quick to hug you, whispering comforting words into your ear.

once you've calmed down, you realize it's time to tell him the truth.

"i wanted to have something in common with you. all our friends and their partners have a shared interest. mingyu and his girlfriend love cooking, wonwoo and his girlfriend like photography; even minghao managed to end up with someone who loves tea as much as him. i just wanted to share something with you. i realized that you and i don't have a lot in common. everyone says 'opposites attract' but to what extent? that's why i thought of going to the gym, so that we could have something to share."

seungcheol is silent for a few moments, and you bite the inside of your cheek nervously while you wait for his response.

"y/n, you're the one person on this earth i have found a perfect match in. you and i have a lot more in common than you think. like the fact that you're the only person who supports my 'dipping french fries in milkshake' agenda," seungcheol cracks a soft smile, holding your hands in his.

"you don't have to force yourself to do things just to share an interest with me, baby. i love you for who you are. you're a wonderful artist, and i'm absolutely pathetic at drawing basic human figures. that doesn't mean we don't work together," seungcheol explains, hoping that his words make sense to you.

"i know, but i just- i just got worried that one day you'd be tired of having to deal with someone so different from you," you sigh, confessing the thought that had been plaguing your mind for a few weeks. "i don't want to lose you, cheol. that's why i did all this. but all i've really done is embarrass myself..."

seungcheol's lips draw into a pout as he crawls onto the bed, laying down next to you. he covers both of you under the blanket and pulls your body closer to him, your head cradled against his chest, and his arm wrapped around your waist.

"i'll never get tired of you. you're the love of my life, and i like the fact that every day we spend together, i get to learn something new about you. there's a familiarity in that too, you know?" he says, and the warmth in his voice makes your heart melt.

"ever since the day i met you, i've wanted to know who you are. i've wanted to know what makes you smile and cry, what food you don't like so i'll never bring it up, what your favorite disney princess is, even how much sugar you like in your coffee. and i'm so grateful to be able to learn every small thing about you, because that's how i show my love for you."

you pull away slightly from his embrace, meeting seungcheol's soft gaze.

"i love you the way you are, and no amount of differences could ever stop me from loving you. even if you were the north pole and i was the south, i'd do everything in my power to be with you, you get that?"

"how'd i get so lucky?" you whisper, eyes welling up again. "i love you too, so much. you- you made me cry, you idiot." you chuckle wetly, slapping his chest playfully.

"you're just a sap," seungcheol teases, but he rubs your back comfortingly nonetheless. "anyways, you're not going to be following me to the gym just for the sake of it anymore. i already think you're perfect the way you are, but if you ever do want to go, you should do it only because you want to, okay?"

"you don't have to worry about it," you dismiss his concerns. "from the second i stepped foot into the gym and got attacked by the stench of sweat, i promised to never come back."

"hey! that's rude!" seungcheol gasps dramatically. you can only laugh at the way a grown, 29 year-old man pouts like a toddler.

yeah, you really were lucky to have him.

-fin.

[13as07]

Choose #1

(Kankuro Sabaku)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to NPC-Dion]

Requested by: @tadomikiku

[Original idea by @justmyownreality on tumblr; go check them out!]

Word Count: 3,756

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Angst

Cheating

———————————————————————

     "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," Kankuro mutters for the sixth time, his fingertips still clinging to my shirt as his lips continue to dance against mine. He's been pressed up against me, desperately clinging to any piece of me he can get since we've entered the Kazekage Palace.

     I giggle against his mouth, trying my best to pull away from him, leading to no success. "You have to let me go. I can't leave with you clinging to me."

      "Ya, ya, ya," he mutters, taking a step forward to follow my sorry attempt to walk away. Kankuro's lips capture mine again, another soft kiss, his longing for me already present in it even though I haven't left yet. "All right, I'll see you tomorrow, for real this time," he repeats, another quick peck to my lips before he lets me go.

I float away, still high from our date and our not-so-professional make-out session in the hallway. Well, I feel like I'm floating until I make it to the stairs. My brother's voice rings in my head reminding me to pick up our mission assignments for tomorrow while I'm hanging around the Kage Palace.

My head snaps around, scanning the hallway to see if Kankuro entered our Lord's office yet or not; he has. I let out a low sigh, turning on my heels to walk back down the hallway. Why do I always get so wrapped up in him? Forgetting everything else in the world anytime he's near. It's bad Shinobi behavior, but I guess that's just what the bliss of love does to a person.

The hallway is filled with the soft patter of my shoes, Lord Fifth's voice filtering out from his office the closer I get to it. "You are stringing that girl along," the Lord's muffled voice yaps, his voice harsh as he speaks to Kuro. The tone and the sentence snag my attention. I guess he doesn't have a meeting with Kankuro after all.

"I'm not stringing her along," Ro answers, his voice defeated and flat, my heart quickly doing the same. "I like her, Gaar."

     "You're betrothed to Hana and yet you're prancing around the village with Baki's younger sister. What would you call that?" Lord Fifth's voice peeps up again, a lot calmer this time. My heart is no longer flat-lined; if anything it feels like I just went on a run.

     When no answer comes, our Lord speaks up again. "I would call it having a future wife while you're toying with one of my top Shinobi's only family. You know my loyalty lies with you but I am still the Kazekage. The Kazekage who has Baki as one of his top Shinobis. Baki who has a younger sister who believes the lie that you two are in a committed relationship - "

"I am committed to her," Kankuro interrupts, anger starting to bubble over the deflated tone he had earlier. My heart skips a beat, trying to process the conversation going on. Who's lying in this situation? The village leader I hope.

"Yes, yes. Committed to your wife and your girlfriend," Lord Fifth pokes, what I think is amusement in his voice. "How loyal of you." There's a heavy pause and then a "Choose."

"What do you mean choose?"

"I mean, pick, choose, make a decision. Losing Baki as a Shinobi would be bad for the village, so, choose your wife and break up with your girlfriend, or choose your girlfriend and end the betrothal to Hana."

     Kankuro stays quiet, his voice is soft enough that I can't hear his response. The next sound I hear is the Lord's softly chuckling. "Father set up your betrothal. I couldn't care less if you went through with it or not."

More silence, and then "Give me some time to figure everything out." I swear the world freezes as soon as the sentence leaves Kankuro's mouth.

     I can no longer hear the two men over the sound of my blood rushing in my ears, my heart pounding fast and my lungs all of a sudden doing overtime. I turn around, the conversation replaying in my head as I head back down the hallway, again feeling like I'm floating.

This time it's not because of the bubble of giddiness Kankuro leaves me in. No, this time the bubble wrapping me up is made out of betrayal and disbelief. A drop of sadness is mixing in and slowly taking over the other two emotions.

     He needs 'time to figure everything out'. Well, that's the only thing he'll get from me; time. If he couldn't pick me right away, if I'm not the first and only option, I won't be an option at all. Screw Kankuro, his secret wife, and his lies. I deserve better than a catty love triangle. I deserve better than a lying, cocky Shinobi who wants the best of both worlds.

     My dissociation continues out of the palace, continuing until I stumble down the front stairs. The lack of awareness is finally broken when hands land on my shoulders. "Button?" My brother calls, breaking whatever curse my mind has been under. "You look ill. Did you have any water while you were out with Kankuro?" He mutters, pressing his hand to my forehead, his exposed eyes swimming with concern.

"Ya, I'm fine. I just... it was a rough day," I mutter, closing my eyes and sending him a soft smile. "I would like to go home."

"Alright," Baki mutters, now pressing his hand against my cheeks. "Did you get our mission reports for tomorrow?" I shake my head, lunging forward to wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his chest. I want to hide from the world, I want to feel loved, I want to vanish but hiding in my older brother is a pretty good second. "Well, let's run inside and grab them, then we can go home."

"No!" I yelp, tightening my hold around his waist, trying to shove my face further into his chest. "No. I just... I just want to go home."

He stays quiet, standing frozen for a moment before his arms droop over me. "Alright, we'll just have to get up early tomorrow morning to grab them," Baki whispers, softly rubbing my back, his head tilting down to further wrap me up. "What happened, Button?"

     I stay silent, debating whether I want to tell Baki the truth right away or if I want to think it over for a while. "Kankuro is engaged," I whisper into his shirt, tears starting to prick the corners of my eyes. "He has a wife and I'm just... just the other woman." The words finally make my composure snap, tears pouring down my cheeks and staining my brother's shirt. How could I have been so blind? So unaware?

"Oh, Button," he coos, his hands rubbing up and down my back to comfort me. "It'll be okay, I promise. Let's get you home, alright?"

———————————

My brother's eyes are locked on me as he slowly nods his head in acknowledgment of Lord Fifth's debrief on our mission to the Hidden Valley Village. It's a simple three-day trip. A day there, a day in the village, and a day back. I'm not listening to the debrief, something about medical transporting, or something along those lines.

Baki is on edge, the tension between Kankuro and me affecting him. It's affecting all of us, besides the Kage. Both men are staring holes into me; my brother is worried about everything going on with Ro.

Kuro is simmering, me ignoring him most likely being the cause. It's been two weeks since my eavesdropping and I haven't spoken a word to him, much less given him the time of day. Even now I refuse to spare him a glance even though he's only five steps away from me, settled in a chair in the corner of the Lord's office. "Baki-Chan," he calls again, trying to catch my attention.

"Yes?" My brother answers, glancing at the other man before settling his eyes on me again. I know he wasn't calling for Baki, my brother knows it as well, and finally Lord Fifth knows it too. Yet, this is the third go around the two of them have done, both men quickly getting annoyed with each other.

"Screw this," Kankuro grumbles, standing up from his spot before walking up to me. I keep my eyes locked on the Kage, somewhat listening to him now as we both ignore Ro, continuing on his ramble. "Will you acknowledge me, Baki-Chan?" My brother steps forward, ready to jump in if things get too heated. Kuro spares him a glance before his burning sight is back on me.

The tension stays, Baki sizing him up as he stays standing in front of me, my eyes glancing anywhere but him as our Lord continues his debrief. "Whatever, Baki-Chan," he finally grumbles, storming out of the room. As soon as the door closes both my brother and me relax.

     Lord Fifth doesn't seem fazed by anything going on, his debrief continuing for a few more minutes until he falls silent. "Any questions?"

     "No," my brother mumbles, glancing at me once more before his full focus is on the Kage. "Not about our new mission anyway. Button, go wait outside on the stairs," Baki mutters, waving me away as he jumps into his questions about the aftermath of our mission yesterday.

     I roll my eyes, grumbling to myself about my brother taking our job way too seriously but do as I'm told. I wander out of the office, closing the door behind me before heading down the hallway. I keep my mind busy, making a mental packing list to help me ignore everything else going on. The last thing I need is to simmer over the events going on between Mr. I-Am-Betrothed and me, especially right before a mission.

     There's a soft buzzing, quickly paired with the sizzling warmth of Kankuro's chakra strands. A long sigh spills from me, the feeling of his chakra rubbing comfortably against my skin, only pissing me off more. Once the strings are settled around my limbs, they're tugged on, tightening a bit before I'm pulled backward.

     My body is forcibly moved around, sliding back down the hallway, taking a turn, and continually pulling down a different hallway. Despite my attempts to drag my feet across the floor and stop my movements, I'm still at his will, being pulled to whatever room he's hiding in.

My shirt twirls around, skirting from the constant moving chakra flow and the soft breeze it's catching from Kuro's human fishing act. The longer I'm tugged on, the more my anger bubbles up. Why does he think he can have whatever he wants whenever he wants? It's not like he's the Lord and he sure isn't a God.

     Another rough tug and I'm pulled through a door, left in the doorway framed by two ceiling-high bookcases. I look around the space, enjoying the beautifully crafted bookshelves in what I'm assuming is the palace library as the chakra strings melt off of me. Slowly, I turn, enjoying the colorful beauty the spines of the books make against the dark wood of their shelves. The walls almost look like a portrait from all the splashes of color.

My enjoyment, and the beauty of the room all come crashing down once I'm turned around. Kankuro is hunched in one of the overstuffed chairs in the library, the big man looking small in comparison to the seat.

For a second my anger washes out of me, my eyes trailing over him and catching every feature of his perfectly painted face. The longer I look at him, the more tired he seems. Dark circles are under his eyes, the edges of them poking out from the purple stripe painted across them. Kuro's eyes themselves look like they haven't seen more than an hour of sleep recently; constant missions from Lord Fifth I'm sure.

"Why do you hate me?" He whispers, voice soft like he's worried he'll startle the dust spread out across the room.

It takes a second for my ears to pick up on Kankuro's quiet words. "I don't hate you," I whisper back, snapping my eyes closed to end my sight of his exhaustion. I force a smile on my face, tilting my head a bit in hopes my gentleness will end - or at least not add to - the rain cloud forming from his being.

The smile hurts, and being gentle with him hurts, sending daggers straight into my heart. Why should I be nice to a man that's been playing me? A man who has had a wife the time we've been together? I should tell him I hate him, tell him I hope he has a happy marriage, tell him I loathe the day we met, but I won't. I want a clean break away and stirring up trouble will only make me hurt more.

"So then, why have you been ignoring me?"

My eyes slowly open, taking in the confusion mixing with the sadness on his face. I let the question hang in the air as my heart fights between wanting to leave and wanting to race forward to kiss away all of Ro's sadness. He doesn't deserve my comfort. If he wants comfort he should ask his wife for it.

     I let my eyes drop down to the floor, all of a sudden finding my shoes interesting. I suck my lip into my mouth, my teeth tugging at the skin of it as I think of an answer. "I've been busy on missions and stuff," I mutter, telling a half-truth. I have been busy with missions, just not more than usual.

     Kankuro's eyes burn into me, making my skin feel like it's on fire. A few moments later the tension is broken by him letting out a soft sigh. "Look at me," he orders, which I slowly obey. His eyebrows are forward, concern dotted across his face as he looks at me. "You know Gaara - Lord Fifth - is my brother right?" No, I didn't know that. How could I not know that? "So, I know when you're on a mission. I know where your mission is and what it is. I know you haven't been busier than usual."

     I suck in a breath, the oxygen hinting into a whistle as it slides through my teeth. "Then you know I have to go," I breathe out, sparing myself a second longer to look at him before I turn away. I think I'm starting to develop a hatred for the color purple.

     With every step I take, it feels like a new crack forms in my chest, making it hard to breathe the further away I get from the library. Why does this hurt more than last time? Because last time I didn't have to face Kankuro or his lies.

     I get halfway down the hallway before rapid footsteps fill the space, making me pick my head up and look around for the source of the rushing. Kankuro is barreling down the hallway, slowing the closer he gets to me. "Baki-Chan," he huffs, chest pumping a bit to help him catch his breath. "Please tell me why you're upset with me. I'm not going to survive having you out of the village knowing you're mad at me."

     "I'm sure you'll be fine," I mutter, turning around to continue my walk away from him. Why can't he just drop it? Why can't he take a hint? Why can't he just leave me alone? It would make things a lot easier.

     This time Kankuro doesn't follow me. He stays frozen in the hallway, giving me the chance to escape the awkward situation. "If you walk away we're over," he yells in a rush of desperation, giving me my turn to freeze.

     I half turn so I can look at him. "We were over the second I found out you had a wife," I answer, my glare pinning the breath he was trying to take.

     Soft sounds of disbelief come from him, his jaw jumping around to try and form a sentence. The wide look of his eyes and the expression of someone who got caught outweigh the purple streaks of his face. My earlier thought was right, I do hate purple.

     Once again, I turn on my heels, slowly distancing myself from the situation both physically and mentally. I have a mission to do for our village, that's all that should be on my mind right now.

     This time Kankuro doesn't chase after me as I leave, letting me freely work back towards the palace entrance. Sadness brews in my stomach as I trudge toward the door. I love him, a lot, but he's a liar, one that couldn't even choose between his wife and me. I deserve a lover better than that, one that'll put me first no matter what.

———————————

"Twenty-seven bottles of sake on the wall, twenty-seven bottles of sake. Take one down, pass it around, twenty-six bottles of sake on the wall!" Baki and I belt out, arms looped together as we stumble down the sandy path back home.

     Our mission went well with no hiccups, hence the light airy feel of our travel home. He insists we should celebrate our small victory once we get settled but I think he's just happy I've been too distracted to mellow on my breakup and wants to continue to distract me; not that I'll complain. If I'm too busy or too intoxicated to think about Kankuro, the better off I'll be.

     "Oh," Baki stretches out the word, his tone deep to start the next verse as he tugs me through the gate of the village's barrier fence.

     "Please don't keep singing," a voice cuts him off, making my head snap out of my thoughts. Planted in front of us is Lord Fifth, decorated in his perfectly maintained white robes and the Kage hat he never seemed to grow into. Settled next to him is Kankuro - his brother - igniting angered sparks in my chest.

     "My Lord," we both mutter, bowing our heads at the village leader. "It's quite the honor to have you greet our arrival home at the village entrance," Baki mutters, a strained smile on his face and eyes locked on Kuro. He instantly clocked what this is, just like me; it's Ro throwing the weight of his connection to the Kage around to get what he wants.

"Yes, yes. Perhaps we should go on a walk to discuss your mission? Just the two of us, of course. I'm sure your sister is exhausted," The Lord mumbles back, taking a side step and throwing his hand up to usher my brother forward.

     "I appreciate the offer, my Lord, but - "

     "It was an order, not an offer," Kazekage cuts him off, sending back a mirrored strained smile. "Come along," he adds, turning to walk away. Baki sends me an apologetic look before unwrapping his arm from mine before he wanders after the Kage, leaving me alone with Kankuro.

     Kuro takes a step forward, a shaky grin on his face as he looks at me. "How was your mission?"

     "Fine."

     "Did you two end up having any issues?"

     "No."

     "I missed you. Did you miss me?"

     "No." That's a lie. I did miss him, a lot, but every time I started missing him I'd remind myself of his lies. Of his wife.

His smile melts away as a sigh melts from his mouth, Kankuro's frustration with me starts to grow. Good, now he can be just as pissed with me as I am with him. "We should talk... about the whole wife... thing."

"There's nothing to talk about," I grumble, rolling off the situation. I move forward, trying to sidestep past Kankuro with the thought of getting home and having a nice shower fighting its way to being the only thought in my mind.

He doesn't let me walk past, snatching my wrist to tug me back. "Baki-Chan, please," Kuro mutters, continuing to pull on me until I'm positioned in front of him again. "Just let me explain."

"I'm pretty sure I know how someone gets a wife," I mutter, trying to tug my wrist free. "I don't need you to explain marriage to me."

     "For this one you do," he grumbles, his face falling a bit once the words are out. "Just... let me talk for a moment, okay? Let me explain and then you can go back to ignoring me."

     "Fine," I shoot out, the venom from my tone feeling like it's still dripping out of my mouth.

     Slowly, Kankuro falls to his knees, his fingers wrapping themselves in mine. They're fatherly light, flexing between mine as he looks up at me. "My betrothal to Hana was set up by my father," he starts, leaning forward to rest his chin against my lower stomach. "I have never spoken to her, I have never seen her, I know nothing about her. Until Gaara brought her up I forgot about her."

     "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

     "I don't know," he whispers, shifting so his forehead is pressed against my stomach, his face buried in me. "I ended things," Kuro adds, dropping my hands to wrap his arms around my hips. "Officially. Legally. I would have sooner if I remembered. I'm sorry it took so long for me to sort it out."

     "Okay," I mutter, letting my hands jump up to toy with his hoodie. Kankuro's speech explained the parts of the conversation I overheard. It even helps some of my anger simmer down. "You should have told me."

     "I know," He continues to whisper into my shirt. "I'm being honest, I truly forgot. If I had remembered sooner I would have said something. I'm sorry."

     "I don't trust you anymore," I sigh, keeping my focus on his hood. It always makes me curious how he manages to serve the heat in so much dark-colored clothing.

     "Let me rebuild that trust," Kuro rushes out, snapping his head up to look at me. "Let me start again. Let us start over. Let me take you on a date. We can start from square one. Please, I can't survive without you."

     I let his words sink in, rolling his request over in my mind for a moment. "Let me think about it, Ro."

———————————————————————

[lucy90712]

I’ll be there for you- Pablo Gavi

A/n: this is a long one- 4.1k

Warnings: pregnancy; mentions of birth 

I don't quite know how it happened as it all happened so quickly but my life just fell apart right in front of my eyes. Today has been such a rollercoaster of emotions I've gone from anxious to crying to angry then back to crying and now I just feel absolutely nothing. I've heard of people saying that you can just feel numb but I've never experienced it until today and what they say couldn't be more true I just feel nothing it's like I don't have the energy to feel anymore. 

For the last week or so I haven't been feeling great and I could just tell something wasn't right but my fears were confirmed when my period was a few days late. I really didn't want to take a test as then it would become real but I knew I had to so this morning I went and got one without telling anyone. Of course when I had the courage to take the test it showed two clear lines meaning I really am pregnant. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears flowing down my face as there was so many thoughts flooding through my mind like what will my boyfriend think, how will this affect my studying and how am I going to cope with a baby. Growing up an only child means I've not had much experience with babies and I don't know much past the basics about pregnancy which makes all of this a whole lot scarier. 

For the next few hours I was so in my own world that I didn't even realise the time until my boyfriend came home and I knew I had to tell him straight away just to get that out of my head. We have been together for a few years and have talked about having kids in the future but not yet so I know he won't be overly happy but hopefully he will see that something out there believes this is the right time for us. I wanted a minute to think of the right thing to say to him but he noticed that there was something up straight away. I tried to brush it off for a second but he was persistent in trying to get the truth out of me. 

"I'm pregnant" I eventually said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm pregnant" I repeated

"Oh" he said bluntly 

"I don't think I can do this I'm not ready for a family and I feel like I haven't been as into this relationship recently anyway" he said 

"Wait so you're leaving me?" I asked 

"Yeah I'm sorry I just can't do it I don't care what you do but I don't want to be part of all this like at all" he said before just walking out 

With that everything got a whole lot worse. As if things weren't challenging enough I now have to do it all alone. In that moment I began cursing my decision to move to Barcelona away from my family and friends to follow my boyfriend and start school as now I have no support system and I definitely don't have the money to move back home. Most of my friends out here are from my boyfriends friend group as he introduced me to them when I moved here so even those people probably won't be here for me. Even thinking about having to do this all alone had me balling as not only is this a tough situation I also have a lot of hormones raging through my body making me even more emotional than usual. 

As I was nearly drowning in my own tears my phone began to ring so I grabbed it hoping it would be my now ex boyfriend telling me he regrets his decision and actually wants to stay together. That wasn't the case though it was actually my one friend who isn't associated with my ex, Gavi. He doesn't usually phone me at all let alone at this time so I felt like I had to answer just in case he needed something or something was wrong as despite my disastrous situation other people's lives still go on. I tried to sound like I hadn't been crying and asked him if everything was alright but he noticed something was wrong straight away and told me he was coming over before hanging up. 

It wasn't long before Pablo arrived and came straight into my apartment calling for me but I couldn't bring myself to get up from my position on the floor by the sofa. Once Pablo saw me he practically ran over and sat down next to me putting his arm around me to try and provide some comfort. For some reason having him by my side made me even more emotional and the tears began to flow again. Pablo then held me closer allowing me to cry into his chest which was just what I needed, he was there for me, he wasn't saying much he just provided some comfort which is all I want. He rubbed my back gently until I managed to gain control of my emotions enough to finally look at Pablo whose eyes were full of worry. 

"Whenever you're ready please tell me what's going on" Pablo said 

"It's a lot" I said 

"That doesn't matter clearly you need to get whatever this is off your chest and I'm here to listen" he said 

"I'm pregnant and y/bf/n left me saying he wants nothing to do with the baby" I finally admitted 

"Wow what an asshole" Pablo whispered under his breath 

"Are you ok how are you feeling?" He asked 

"Right now I just feel numb I don't know what to do it's all just a lot to think about" I ranted 

"Its ok I'm here for you why don't we just talk everything through" he said 

After that I took a deep breath and Pablo who is usually always messing around and having fun was actually serious for once and ready to help me. He allowed me to say everything that was on my mind and bit by bit we began to figure things out. Pablo promised me that he would do everything he could to help me and even insisted that I move in with him as this apartment isn't mine. I didn't want to have to move in with Pablo but he keep insisting that I need support and to have someone around and eventually I gave in and agreed with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later 

It's been a long hard few months. For pretty much my entire first trimester I spent the majority of my time laying on the sofa feeling exhausted and incredibly sick. However now that I'm approaching the halfway mark I have finally started to feel better and have been able to do a bit more. Pablo has been a godsend during all of this he's taken me to all of my appointments and done everything he possibly can to make me feel even a little bit better. On my really bad days he will spend as long as necessary sat holding my hair and rubbing my back as I throw up and when I'm tired during the day he will let me rest my head on his shoulder so I can nap. As much as those things have been nice the thing I appreciate the most is how he's been there for me mentally. When I moved in with Pablo I completely cut off my ex and anyone to do with him which was hard as it left me feeling pretty lonely but Pablo has been my rock as he's been able to help me see the positives of the situation and the right way to move forward.

Today is my 20 week scan where I should be able to find out the gender of the baby. Pablo begged me to make the scan for after his training as really wanted to be there. He's been to as many scans and appointments as he possible can but he missed the last few due to being away but he really wanted to find out the gender with me. Of course I had to oblige and make the appointment at a later time so Pablo is coming back straight after training to pick me up. Having Pablo at appointments has been nice as it makes everything slightly less daunting plus while I'm stressing he's able to actually listen to what the doctors and nurses are saying. The only downside is that all of the staff think Pablo is my boyfriend and the father of the baby and neither of us are brave enough to correct them as we don't want to have to explain the situation plus I would rather not have the judgment. 

There are worse things than having people believe that Pablo's my boyfriend but it has certainly messed with my head. Since everything happened I've started to see Pablo in a new light and my feelings have drifted to beyond just friends. It's all very complicated as I can't tell whether my hormones have anything to do with my feelings plus I can't risk telling Pablo how I feel in case he doesn't feel the same and kicks me out as then I'd be truly alone. Day by day it's getting harder to keep my feelings to myself especially on days like today where Pablo is so excited to go with me to the appointment even though the baby isn't his. Pablo has treated me and the baby as though we are his the entire time which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I so badly wish that that was true but he's not mine no matter how much I think about it nothing will happen as Pablo doesn't need anything else on his plate right now. 

Just as I was starting to spiral into my little dreamworld Pablo came home and helped me up as I'm starting to struggle a bit so we could head to the doctors together. Recently my bump has really started to grow making it a lot more obvious that I'm pregnant which has made me a bit insecure as I always think people are judging me when I'm in the streets. As we got in the car like always the baby started kicking like crazy so before we left I grabbed Pablo's hand and placed it on my stomach so he could feel the kicks as he mentioned how weird it must feel the other day so I wanted him to experience it. 

"Wow that's so cool can you feel that all the time?" He asked 

"Not all the time but it's been getting stronger recently and baby's always really active in the car and when I want to sleep" I said 

"Aww so you like to keep your mama up at night already do you little one" he said to my stomach and I think I nearly exploded from the cuteness 

"Oh yeah getting me ready for the months of no sleep soon" I laughed 

Pablo laughed too as he started to drive towards the hospital but he kept his hand on my bump rubbing it gently which made the baby go crazy and had me feeling all sorts of things. I could tell that my cheeks were bright red and my heart was beating at a million miles an hour just because he had his hand on me. Having his hand on me made the car ride feel a million times longer but eventually we arrived at the hospital and I could begin to calm myself down so that the nurses didn't think I was dying or something. 

The wait for my appointment wasn't too long so before I knew it I had the freezing cold gel on my stomach and the nurse was checking the babies development to make sure they are growing as they should be. Once the nurse had done all of the important checks she asked if I wanted to know the gender to which I obviously said yes. As I responded Pablo grabbed my hand which made me look over to see that he had the biggest smile on his face as he was so excited to find out what I was having. Looking at him only made me smile as his smile was that infectious and it made all the nerves I was feeling about being able to be a good mother disappear in an instant. Right after that the nurse happily told us that I was having a girl and we were both super happy but confused as we were sure it was a boy but clearly we were both wrong. 

"Thats so exciting a little mini you" Pablo said once the nurse left 

"I know I'm surprised I was sure it was a boy" I said 

"Me too but you know now we have to go and buy loads of cute clothes and decorations for the nursery" Pablo said 

"I'd love to but I don't have the money to buy loads of things" I admitted 

"Don't you worry about that I'm happy to pay for everything and before you say anything I want to do this" he said as we were now getting back in the car 

"I can't let you do that Pablo as much as I appreciate it you shouldn't spend your money on a baby that's not yours" I said 

"But I want to plus I can't help but feel an attachment to the baby even if she's not genetically mine I already can't wait to meet her when she's born" Pablo admitted 

"Thats so cute your going to make me cry" I choked out

"Please don't cry I love you and your little baby" Pablo was quick to say

"Wait I don't mean I love you oh who am I kidding I definitely love you and I get that nows probably not the best time to admit that but it's time I told you how I really feel" he said 

"I love you too Pablo but if we are going to try this we need to take it slow" I said 

"We can do whatever you want I just want to give this a go" he said 

~~~~~~~~~~

Another few months later 

The second half of my pregnancy has been so much better than my first Pablo and I started dating taking things slowly of course but I've never been happier in my entire life than I have been the last few months. Pablo has been so good to me I thought he was super sweet before but now he is an angel he literally waits on me hand and foot and does anything he can for me to make my life easier. Everyday when he comes home he takes over and does the chores even though I tell him I'm fine to do it and then every night he gives me a massage as I'm at the stage of pregnancy where everything hurts. He has also single-handedly put together the nursery, we picked out the colour and furniture together and then Pablo put it all together and even decorated the room which turned out perfectly. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend than Pablo I thought things would be difficult at some points as I still have a very obvious tie to my ex even if we don't speak but that hasn't bothered him at all and at this point he might as well be my daughters father. 

Yesterday was my due date so I have officially reached the point of pregnancy where I could go into labour any minute. Luckily Pablo has a few days off so I'm kind of hoping that I go into labour soon so that he can be with me because I really don't want to give birth alone. This morning my back has been hurting more than usual which I have been told is signs of early labour but that could last a hours or even days before turning into active labour. I want to be done with being pregnant so badly that since we woke up I've been getting Pablo to help me do things that induce labour. I have gone up and down the stairs about a million times and we went on a walk so that I could walk with one foot in the road and one on the pavement as that supposedly helps too. 

Someone recommended eating spicy foods so I sent Pablo out to get anything spicy for me to eat but once he'd left the back pain I had started turning into more like cramps all over which was a bit more painful. When I have pain I have been bouncing on a yoga ball so I got up from the sofa and all of a sudden felt liquid rush down my legs which I knew straight away was my waters breaking. Until that moment I'd been feeling quite calm about giving birth but now that it's actually happening I'm starting to freak out as so far it hurts more than I thought it would and my waters have only just broken. Once I calmed down a bit I grabbed my phone and called Pablo straight away as right now I just want him home so we are ready to go when things get more intense plus I need some support. 

"Hey love is everything ok I'm just getting to the store" Pablo answered completely clueless 

"Forget that I need you home like right now my waters have just broken" I said 

"What?" He questioned 

"I'm going into labour you idiot please just come home" I yelled 

"Oh god I'm on my way I'll be as quick as I can" he said 

"Thank you and I'm sorry for yelling I'm just a overwhelmed" I apologised feeling bad 

"It's ok love I'll be there soon to help" Pablo said before hanging up 

It felt like forever before Pablo was home but in reality it was only about 15 minutes until he burst through the door and ran over to be by my side. Just as he got to me I had another contraction so I instinctively grabbed Pablo's hand and squeezed it to help with the pain. As the pain began to fade away I loosened my grip until I was letting go of Pablo's hand who was looking at me with fear in his eyes clearly worrying about me. He helped me sit down as I'd been standing up walking around and got me some water because he didn't know what else to do. I was trying to keep myself calm as I know that's the best thing to do but seeing how worried Pablo was was making me feel bad. 

"What do you need me to do amor?" he asked 

"Everything is already in the car right" I said 

"Yes everything is in the car and the car seat is installed too" he said 

"Ok then I just need you to be here and time my contractions as when they reach five minutes apart we need to go to the hospital" I explained 

"I can do that but please tell me if there's anything else you want" he said 

My contractions stayed quite far apart for a long time but eventually things started to progress and my contractions became more painful and were getting closer together. By the time they were consistently 5 minutes apart it had been nearly 9 hours and it was pitch black outside. Usually at this time Pablo and I would be sleeping but instead we are both wide awake and he's helping me to the car so we can go to the hospital. It really started to feel real once we got in the car as the next time we're home there will be a baby with us in the backseat. There was no time for me to panic though as a contraction hit just as I was beginning to spiral which took my mind off everything but the pain I was feeling. I needed to hold Pablo's hand as for some reason being able to squeeze it makes me feel better and of course he obliged but he looked a bit nervous about having to drive one handed. He drove with a mixture of extreme care and speed as he wanted to be careful and I wanted him to get to the hospital before I have the baby in the car. 

Once we arrived at the hospital everything happened so quickly we were given a room and then what felt like millions of people came in and out to check on me. I was hooked up to all sorts of monitors one to measure baby's heartbeat and another to show when I was having contractions which felt like a cruel joke as now not only could I feel them I got to see a visual representation too. Pablo was trying to be as helpful as possible but there wasn't much he could do other than let me squeeze his hand and rant at him about how much pain I was in. He was such a sweetheart no matter how much I was yelling as he was putting a cold flannel on my forehead and giving me ice chips which were weirdly nice to eat all while giving me encouraging words. 

We were there for another few hours before I was fully dilated and ready to begin pushing. By this point I'd been in labour for over 12 hours and was completely exhausted so when I was told to push I wasn't sure I could manage it with the very little amount of energy I had left. Luckily I had a minute while the nurses were getting themselves ready so I looked up at Pablo hoping to gain some motivation and I was met with his beautiful smile which really did give me a boost. 

"Come on amor I know you can do it, you're so strong, it will all be worth it when she's here in just a few minutes" Pablo encouraged as I was pushing 

"It hurts so much and I'm so tired I don't think I can do it anymore" I panted trying to catch my breath 

"I know carino it will all be over soon but you have to keep going for a bit longer I know you can do it" he said 

"Thats it you're doing so well" Pablo continued 

A few seconds later cries began to fill the room which was the best thing I've ever heard as it meant my baby was here and ok. The nurses then placed her on my chest and I got to see her beautiful face for the first time which was a truly magical moment and something I'll never forget. Tears begin falling down my face as I was so overwhelmed with happiness but they were quickly wiped away by Pablo who when I looked at him also had tears in his eyes which only made me more emotional. It truly felt like this was our little family however unorthodox this was our family and blood relation is never going to make a difference in that. Pablo was allowed to cut the umbilical cord and then the baby was taken from me so she could be weighed and have all the other tests they need to do done. 

"I'm so proud of you you did amazing" Pablo said softly 

"Thank you but I couldn't have done it without you" I said 

"Don't say that I did nothing I just stood here, literally" he laughed 

"Well that's exactly what I needed" I said 

"Pablo I know this might seem a lot and you can definitely take some time to think about it but how would you feel about me putting you on the birth certificate and giving her your last name because she's more yous than that dickhead who provided his dna" I said 

"I don't even need to think about that I would love her to be mine" he smiled 

Suddenly I felt so at ease knowing that I had Pablo to support me and that he was happy to raise my little girl as if she were his own as that had been on my mind for the last 9 months. Pablo truly meant it when that night he told me he'd be here for me and despite everything I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out. 

[vaultof-thoughts]

DOUBTS, INSERCURITY AND ANXIETY

The title is blood red, why? because when I used to have doubts, and still didn't really understand non-dualism at all, my brain would set off alarms with flickering fiery red lights. As if they were forbidden , as if I was committing some crime and conducting treason. Many of us find it difficult to deal with doubts, anxiety, insecurity because it just feels so bad, so ickish... so painful an it instantly sends us into a spiral- "Oh No! I'm not supposed to be thinking this, I'm supposed to be Zen and indifferent all the time!" "NO!!! All my progress has gone to waste.." (spoiler alert: there is no progress to be made) or just endless interaction with the (seeming) thought and just piling on to the insecurity and discomfort. Trust me, we've ALL been there, and it's COMPLETELY and ABSOLOUTELY normal and OKAY. Because guess what? This will blow your mind: IT IS IRRELEVENT. I'm serious. You could think the most gruesome, ugly, thoughts about yourself and your dream but it doesn't affect " " at all. SO, what does this mean? It means these thoughts aren't yours!! You aren't the thinker!! CELEBRATE that for a moment! bask in freedom of that realization. These thoughts are from of the ego, or character or WHATEVER. Thing is, this ego is an illusion.

Thoughts, feelings, sensations, DESIRES = Ego

Ego = "the ego doesn’t exist. It’s not a person nor an entity or anything like that. It’s just a longtime held onto perception. It’s just a pile of ideas, concepts, states of mind, thoughts and feelings that we’re clung to and built upon like a castle of cards. It was never you. It was never truly real. It seemed to be because you were it. It cannot exist without you knowing yourself as it." - @crystaldust

Conclusion is, whatever you are going through right now, you are not actually going through. (sounded better in my head) Instead, there is only " " observing a ILLUSIONARY life with a nice lil character and basically in different forms. So everything is " " (the character, the life, other people, the dirty clothes on your floor you're not gonna clean up, etc) are all just different forms of " " so basically just " " observing " " which also mean that nothing is REALLY happening. Like yes I just failed my chemistry test but is there really anything happening here?? without labels, words and meaning what is there? no thing. So even the doubtful, fearful, anxious and insecure thoughts are nothing, you are assigning illusionary meaning to them and on top of that taking them to be you. Like? And what is absoloutellyyy hilarioussss is that " " put this dream or play on itself, and on purpose for fun, and you're acting like it's the end of the world.

On a more serious note though, I know how hard it can be to see negative thoughts for what they really are! and to stop taking the illusion so seriously. There's death, murder, poverty, starvation and many things to react to. I know it can be hard. I know trust me, but in all honesty, guys, you are the observer! not the person. And again, I will repeat this until your ears bleed. It is ALL COMPLETELY Illusionary. This does not mean you're not allowed to bawl your eyes out or react to anything at all- infact, I mean the contrary. Do WHAT YOU WANT. It doesn't matter, there is no "process" to mess up on here. Just come back and notice " " It's always there anyway even observing right now. And remember not to be harsh on yourself and take good care of yourself :) and most importantly have fun.

(im super sorry this post is very long and chaotic im going to try to add some pretty colors and pictures and stuff in later so that people actually read it but bye and ily)

[foone]

So it's no secret that I'm a big fan of The Decemberists. They're probably my favorite band. I could easily name 10 songs that I consider to be some of the best music ever made. But The Mariner's Revenge Song, off Picaresque (2005), is the song that will be remembered in a hundred years after all their other songs have faded from the radio, even the oldies channels. It's their Bohemian Rhapsody.

It has everything!

Revenge!

Pirates!

Whaling!

Biblical allusions!

Orphans!

Dashing young men who seduce rich widows and ruin their fortune, driving them mad!

"It took me fifteen years to swallow all my tears"

Violation of confessional privacy!

Haunting accordion interludes!

Audience participation! (you have to scream like you're being swallowed by a whale)

Revenge destroying both the victim and the perpetrator!

Living just long enough to ensure they die alongside you in a horrible way!

Implied but not actually sung final chorus!

The entire song is a flashback!

It's a sea shanty for the ages but it's from the 2000s!

The word "roustabout". Do you even know what it means? It doesn't matter! It sounds great!

The Victorian Novel Disease! (tuberculosis)

The final words of a dying mother to her young child being an angry list of exactly how they should find the rake and kill him, slowly and painfully. The ones that echo in their head for the next 15+ years.

Ambiguously supernatural! Is the narrator's mother a vengeful ghost, following them around for decades, repeating her mantra and ensuring the whale happens and that both they and the rake survive? Maybe!

Is the whale supernatural? Yeah, real whales can't swallow people, but that's normal for mythological fiction. Also, the sky goes black. Poetic license, or is this a supernatural occurrence? Is the whale the dead mother? Who knows!

Nearly nine minutes of epic folk rocking!

"Find him, bind him / Tie him to a pole and break his fingers to splinters / Drag him to a hole / Until he wakes up naked / Clawing at the ceiling of his grave!"

LISTEN TO IT!

[cola-vampire]

Layton and the Alternates

I started this last night. Idk if I'm gonna write more right now but this is all I got and I hope you like it. I hope to revisit it though and put it on ao3 at some point.)

Layton working at his desk late at night, he's tired. Rubbing his eyes, he looks up out the window into the darkness. He see's his reflection and everything in it because of the light in the office but there's something off.

There's a face outside.

It's looking directly at him but it doesn't have anything recognizable, Layton stares in fear. Frozen, unable to react.

Was it really this quiet?

He can hear and feel his heart pounding.

The face backs away into the night outside.

After a brief moment, Hershel stands up. He's praying it was just from lack of sleep. And leaves to go home. But he can't shake the feeling of being watched. Even in the comfort of his own home so late at night. It doesn't feel... right anymore. Something is wrong, something is going on and he can't make it go away.

Hershel is unable to calm down to sleep. So, he stays awake. Until his body conks out and he wakes up groggy with a throw blanket over him, hat taken off and placed onto the coffee table. It's morning...

"Good morning, Professor" Flora greets him with fresh tea. Hershel yawns, "Oh.. Good morning Flora... I'm so sorry I didn't come home sooner last night.." he picks up the cup of tea and takes a sip. "I hope you weren't too worried.."

"No.. not at all but... I have a question."

"What is it?"

"Well... I thought.. I thought I heard you come home earlier last night. Just after I got into bed... I heard footsteps walk to your office and then your room... but it sounded... how would I say this.. weird? As in, you didn't know how to walk? You'd step then stomp a foot kind of weird... I wanted to get up and check but something in me said not to make myself known. So, I didn't..."

Hershel's blood runs cold right then.

"Professor?..." Flora looks on in worry.

This means what he saw was real and it has bad intentions. And it's found it's way into his home. They're in danger now but he knows it most likely wants him. Hershel sets the cup down and stands up. "Flora." Placing a hand on her shoulder, "Listen to me carefully... Did you hear it leave at all before I came home?"

She shakes her head, "No, I fell asleep after a while.. is everything okay? Is it bad am I-"

"You didn't do anything wrong... Flora, I'm not mad at all. I'm.. I'm... I'm just on edge. Forgive me, but I can't shake the feeling.. I'm going to go check my room and office. What I need you to do is pack a week's worth of clothes and whatever you need. I'll explain after I do a brief check." Flora nods and they both go upstairs, before Hershel separates from her for a moment he quietly tells her something to repeat to him when prompted. And enters his room while she packs.

Everything looks fine... odd... he opens the closet and finds nothing out of place. Walking out back into the hallway, he goes down to his home office and things are moved around. It's disorganized from his disorganized mess... but still no sign of a person which makes his suspicions worsen.

Ignoring the mess for the moment, Hershel picks up his office phone and makes a phone call to the Triton household. Clark picks up, "Clark Triton speaking." "Clark, my good man, it's Hershel. I know it’s early and abrupt but something has come up... I have a favor to ask of you and Brenda... could you take Flora for a little while? I'm sure Luke wouldn’t mind having his friend around.."

"Hershel, of course! We'd love to have her! Brenda wants to show her some new recipes. Hey, Is everything alright? You don't sound okay.."

"I'll explain proper when I arrive if that's alright.. Sorry, I just woke up and I'm pumping with adrenaline right now..."

"It's not a problem, we'll be waiting for your arrival..."

"Thank you, this means a lot to me.."

"Anytime, I'll see you soon"

"Of course"

Hanging up, he turns around. Flora is waiting outside the door to his office, bag in hand.

"Are you ready to go?"

Flora nods, "Yes.. will you now tell me what's going on?"

"Last night while I was working, I looked up out the window and saw a face. What looked like a face anyway, it left pretty quickly. I assumed it was just from being tired but the feeling of danger stayed. I'll admit I became paranoid so once I arrived back here, I refused to go to bed and stayed by the door.. but now that I know it was indeed real. I should've gone to check on you..... I could've had it confirmed sooner but I'm afraid it's too dangerous at night to do anything. I've heard about these things before but I assumed it was just something to tell misbehaving kids to get into bed on time. Appears I've been proven wrong in that assumption." Hershel adjusts his hat to cover his eyes before pushing it back up into place. "Before we go, can you repeat what I told you?"

"No"

"Good, let's get going now."

[ask-princessandromeda]

The wind, smelling of ocean salt and light, swaying the hems of clothes, hair and the veil on his head. Kore feels uncomfortable. She always feels uncomfortable in the past, especially someone else's, sticking her nose in their business is not very good. And it's not pleasant. She lowers her head and hunches her shoulders, pulling the white veil tighter over her head - a light, slightly transparent silk hugs her shoulders and back as if wet - in visions she always wears Greek clothes. A white chiton, green himatias and a veil to protect her from the heat/hide her from her father's eyes and hide if necessary. Although she does it more for self-satisfaction, no one can see her anyway. She is a ghost, an ephemeral creature from the past or the future. She swallows and stubbornly walks forward, her bare feet are pleasantly caressed by the hot sand and yet, raising her head, she sees a giant ship - a real work of art, as if created by the hands of Hephaestus himself, this is definitely the best ship this century has to offer. But she doesn't care about the ship - Argo, the ship of the hero Jason, the favorite of Hera - she is attracted to the people standing next to him and their loud voices… She notices the bright golden sheen of long hair, the same as hers. She runs, letting go of her veil. She freezes just a few steps away from them, her eyes greedily absorbing the scene in front of her, the major moment of her brother's fate - Idmon Abaseis, the son of their father Apollo and Abas, mortal seer of his brother-king. He looks like her, really looks like her, even more than the other Apollo children. If they were the same age, he could have been her twin - Idmon was tall and slender on the verge of painful thinness, his silky golden hair shining down to his waist, even their clothes were similar. His golden-green eyes shone dimly. There was a slight smile on his lovely face. "Welcome Idmon!" Telamon's voice was booming and strong on the beach along with the wind, he carefully held a veil on his hands, embroidered at the edges with thin gold threads "The new seer of the Argonauts and advisor of Jason!". Idmon looked away from his friend and looked at her, his gaze warm and understanding. He moved slowly towards her, walking gracefully like a swan sacred to their father. He stood directly in front of her and leaned towards her, his kiss on her forehead was soft and pleasant, balm and comfort. The Argonauts looked confused, they'll get used to it. "My radiant sister," his voice sounded soft and affectionate, like basking in the rays of the setting sun, "You have done everything in your power... I'm sorry that you look like me" "It was an honor for me." she bends down and snuggles up to him, he is warm and soft, she absorbs his warmth like a hungry earth absorbs rainwater. They hug until her visions end.

[Kore was sitting on her bed - it was immaculately tucked in and covered with a soft woolen blanket. Kore wore a wide sweater, her long hair was pulled into a careless bun, loose thick strands streamed down her shoulder to her ribs. She was holding a steaming mug of tea in her hands]. Idmon was the Argonauts' seer and Jason's advisor.

[She took a sip of tea and smacked her lips a little, her breath sounded short and jerky]. He knew he was going to die, but he joined them anyway... I repeat his fate. Moirai really loves graceful repetition.

And... [She tapped the mug several times with her short nails, the sound was surprisingly melodious]. They greeted him the same way you greeted me.

Ethan: *his eye widens as he frowns in surprise and disbelief* Your… brother, you say?

Alabaster: *his gaze wonders somewhere above, as if he’s struggling to remember something* Idmon…argonaut, the knowing one, son of Abas… Oh, fuck.

Alabaster: I… I never made the connection! I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid, I should have. I know the story of the Argo by heart. I…

Alabaster: *pauses* Idmon died killed by a boar, didn’t he? He died knowing that he will, it was his fate, but… it wasn’t right. Although he’s your brother, your mirror, yeah, I know; even though you two should be the definition of “history repeats itself”… I still think that there’s a difference between you and your brother.

Alabaster: Jason never tried to help his Argonauts. Didn’t he leave Hilas to die on that island, abducted by nymphs? Didn’t he leave Heracles, his most valuable mate, behind? I’m nothing like Jason. I can still help you.

Ethan: *his empty gaze falls on Alabaster* You only say that to appease yourself, Al.

Alabaster: At least I’m trying to…

Ethan: *gestures to him to stop* *kneels down next to Kore* This is exactly like…

Ethan: *closes his eye, recalling the day Kore was welcomed on Princess Andromeda* You told me about what will happen after my death, about the Nemesis cabin, about Damien. I was too cowardly to think too much about it at the time. And I held your hand and raised it in the air: “Welcome Kore Pythia Hayashi to our ship! The new advisor of Kronos!”. I felt prideful, and for what? For guiding you to your own death?

Ethan: This damned ship is a grave in development. I have no clue how you could step in it so bravely, like a pig into the slaughter house. You might have lived longer if you weren’t so keen on helping us. And how this Idmon guy did the same entering the Argo. *a ghost of a smile crosses his face* I’ll need to have a little talk with him once I reach the afterlife, won’t I?

Alabaster: *wiping his eyes, now wet* If you do, tell him that I was stupid and couldn’t save you.

Ethan: For fuck’s sake, Al! Nobody asked you to be our savior! Stop beating yourself up and understand already; you’re not stronger than fucking fate!

*Al opens his mouth, but is soon stopped by the sound of a door. All three startle as Luke enters the room.*

Luke: Idmon, right?

Ethan: You’ve been listening to us?

Luke: *ignores him* It’s funny and cruel when fate does this. It repeats and repeats and repeats, like some sort of fucked up game that we have to take part in. This is all that the gods can do, repeat history over and over again. This is all we deserve, apparently… doesn’t this make you angry, Kore? Doesn’t this continuous tread of mindless fuckery that runs again and again like a river over the bloody millennias, doesn’t it make you want to…

Luke: *growls and stops himself from talking before he starts to shout* I pity you, Kore. I pity Idmon. And I pity myself, too.

Luke: *exits the room, leaving silence behind*

[aboutcustardcreams]

It's you and I

Abby Gerhard x fem!reader

On the way to Abby's house, Gabrielle (my character) spots her girlfriend and Carol on the porch, sharing a too intimate moment. How will she react?

fluff and angst with happy ending

As I stand there, in trance, I'm completely lost. My head spins and my heart aches painfully. I've never been certain of anything in my life, and I'd lie if I said I knew from the beginning what I was doing. But that sentiment, damn it, that one, I could have sworn was real. I can't keep my eyes on the scene too long; it's only been one second, maybe two, yet it hurts unbearably so. I don't realize I'm crying until I feel my own hot tears slide down my cheeks and wet my lips. My fingers drop the little gift that I personally wrapped for her. I'm frozen in place just few meters away from Abby's porch, where she stands, both her and Carol. That night, we should have spent it together.

A sob escapes my mouth and at the same time, my legs turn weak and I bend my suddenly sandy knees. I don't want to stay there, yet I can't move yet. I refuse to see what else is happening between the two women so I keep my gaze on the soil under my knees. All I can hear are their muffled voices, then silence again. The engine of a car starts and I presume it's Carol's. I wonder if Abby is leaving with her. Would she really do something so awful to me? The headlights illuminate the garden path, and it's maybe with that glow in the dark that Abby sees me. I don't need to look up at her to feel her gaze upon me. When she calls my name, I remain quiet. I hear her delicate footsteps coming at me, but she keeps up the pace as I continue to ignore her.

"Gabrielle, sweetheart, what happened?" I can't believe she is really asking me this question. As if it couldn't go worse than that. Does she really believes I haven't seen a thing? She places a hand upon my shoulder but I shake it off as if I had been burned. Her eyes too well up with tears at that point. She is devastated and confused but so am I. Like mine, her knees bend and she crouches in front of me. "Sweetheart, please, tell me what you saw..." her voice comes out shaky and insecure. There is a certain urgency in her tone now. Mortification even. Well, at least she is guilty, or maybe she is only putting on a show. How can I know at this point? For a brief moment she acknowledges the small package left on the ground. On top of it a red envelope written with a very fine calligraphy bores her name above the seal.

"I can't believe you want me to repeat what you did," my voice comes sharp, I've never heard myself speak this way. It doesn't even sound like me. When I finally look up at her I barely see her. I have so many tears welled up in my eyes that I struggle to bring into focus past my nose. Everything around me is blurred and unclear, as if I am trapped into a dream. A nightmare. Abby bites her bottom like and shakes her head slowly, "you've seen us.." realization hits her like a running train. Her face looses color at once. I say nothing, and her heart breaks at the distance I've put between us already. "No, no, it's not like that. Oh Jesus— it's not," I notice she is having a hard time trying to explain herself. Maybe because there are no excuses to justify what happened. I exhale shakily, my limbs trembling, "I thought things between us were going fine," a bitter smile appears on my face, "great even," I voice sadly.

"Listen, I know what it looked like, but I swear to you, it was just a big, terrible misunderstanding. Carol—" she freezes when I start chuckling lowly. It seems that I'm amused by the entire situation but the truth is that that laugh hurts like a roundup of knife wounds in the chest. "I could never compete with her, that's the truth." I reason partly resigned. Abby's frown grows deeper as she looks at the way my face crunches up and sheds tears with no control. She keeps shaking her head, she repeats over and over that I'm wrong, that Carol means nothing to her, that she can't even begin to compare to me and to what we have carefully build  together. I mumble a bit spaced out, "she is so beautiful, self-confident, it's with her you feel safe with. It never was me, although I sure hoped to be. I was just.. a rebound thing for when she wasn't around."

I can't believe I found the bravery to say these things but I'm hurt beyond words and I don't know how to cope. Abby scoffs between tears, I can see it in her eyes, she is outraged by what I've just dared to spill. I don't believe it, not completely at least. Her cheekbones turn scarlet, both in exasperation and fear. "You stop it!" Her nostrils flare, suddenly it looks hard for her to breathe properly. She shakes like an orange autumn leaf. "None of this is true. Do you hear me?", she angrily wipes her tears, her lip  quivers as well as her voice, that comes out in a stuttering mess, "how can you think such an awful thing? How can you even say that?"

She reaches out to touch my forehead, and this time I let her fingers linger on my skin. "Carol and I are nothing," I want to believe her, but after what I saw, it's so hard. I inhale sharply, "Please, just—" I trail off, "don't touch me," she can't believe it. She doesn't accept my distance. I can tell by the rigidity her back assumes, by the way her eyes tighten and her breathing gets heavier and louder, "no, now you listen to me," stubborn as ever, Abby Gerhard hardly ever lets herself be tamed. I wonder why she is crying so desperately. What did she hope to achieve? Spend time with me on odd-numbered days and have fun with Carol on even ones? Or maybe have both and get away with it thinking I'd never find out?

I crack a thin smile, and her fingers tighten around my arm with much force, "she kissed me and I pushed her away the second she did that," I frown as I consider the option. She sniffles and waits for a sign, a nod of hope from my part that yet struggles to come. She tilts her head to meet my downcast eyes. She lifts my chin when I stubbornly avoid her orbs, "I told her it was wrong, that my heart belongs to another person and that's been this way for way too long that it is impossible for me to ignore it. Do you understand that, Gabs? I rejected her because I only love you and that's not going to change." I softly wipe my tears. She comes closer and when she does, her sweet perfume inebriates and weakens my senses. It's so good, I tell her often. She knows that's my favorite fragrance.

I remember of the cozy afternoons we spend together, sitting on the living room floor, as we smoke from the same cigarette and at the same time, sharing soft and sloppy kisses. I've never been a smoker myself and she knows, I only do it to have the sensation of kissing her lips from the cig too. Call me crazy, but that's what love feels like for me. I also remember when we play dumb and silly, we make faces to see who can make the other laugh first, or when she poses like a movie star and I pretend to be her personal photographer, holding my hands as if they were a camera. The slow dances under the moonlight. The conversations about life. Our life. Didn't that mean anything at all to her, considering to me it meant everything?

"Look at me, Gabrielle," she pleads. I grit my teeth in return. She groans painfully as I keep resisting her. I want to believe her with all my being. I'd be willing to smash my head against the wall in the hope to forget what I saw to grant us another chance. Because I love her and love makes people do the most questionable choices. "Gabrielle now stop it, and look at me!" she is mad, angry tears slide down her cheeks and neck. Her eyes are puffy and red, and lightly squinted as if it hurt to keep them open. "Look at me in the eyes and tell me I'm lying to you!" I tighten my hands into fists so strongly that I pierce my palms with my nails. How dare she? She infuriates me because I know what I saw. Carol's hands around Abby's waist while she kissed her. While Carol kissed her... Abby kissed back, right?

I look up at her as she asked because despite everything I struggle to deny her whatever she asks for. She clings to my clothes and pulls me against her a tiny bit possessively, but I recognize the behavior as desperate most of all. "Carol came to me, she was devastated about the question of the divorce, the custody of Rindy, and also about the way she treated Therese. You recall of Therese, right?" I nod absentmindedly. She was just another young, naive girl deceived by an older one. Well she was way younger than me, only nineteen if I'm not mistaken, and the fact that Carol was probably her first love, doesn't make it any better. "She used that girl only to come back to you. Isn't it?", Abby would have gladly slapped me in the face for that assumption, yet she didn't. It makes me falter because maybe I'm getting it all wrong. "That's bullshit, bloody hell. And I goddamn love you! And Carol loves Therese!" Her hysterical cry makes me sit upright and I frown, feeling both wrong and guilty. What if I'm only a ruthless monster breaking her heart for getting it all wrong?

"Abby...", I voice softly, tempted to reach out to cup her cheek. I love her. I'll always do. I was stupid to think that hurting her would make me feel better. Spitting those venomous words is only increasing my pain. She hiccups and shakes her head feeling helpless, "Carol told me she feared that Therese might never forgive her for all the things she put her through. She loves her so much, she never felt this way before. Not even with me. In a moment of weakness, while she realized I could be the only person to understand her struggle, she... she just kissed me. But she didn't mean to. She kissed me because she fears the possibility of being left alone." I can see the guilt in her eyes and the small resentment in regards of Carol for having caused all of this.

I nibble on my bottom lip as I ponder on her words. How could I be so blind? That's my Abby, not some stranger I've just met up in a bar. I feel it in my soul, that she isn't lying to me. In her heart I always knew there would be a place for Carol, and I accepted that when we met. But what I still have to learn is that the place I'm referring to has nothing romantic in it. Abby and Carol grew up together, they experimented love, and fell out of it. Why was it so hard for me to understand? I had the chance to meet Carol, I knew she wasn't a bad person. But, goddamnit, if I hated her right now.

Abby reaches out to cup my face as if she could listen my thoughts loud and clear. "She apologized as soon as she realized what she did," her voice is a bit steadier, her forehead rests upon mine in a gentle, sweet cuddle I was craving so much. I breathe slowly, but I still feel my heart thrum loud and painful in my ears. Her fingertips brush against my damp and heated cheeks while her brown orbs dive into mine with nothing but love and understanding. I nod and for the first time, finally I offer her a kind and relieved smile. She reciprocates it, "Carol spent the last two months pretending to be who she isn't. She ignored There's calls because she didn't want to risk to never see her daughter again. You and I...," she strokes my hair, pushing some wavy locks behind my ears, "you and I are what Carol and I never were." There is so much honestly in her tone, I feel suddenly unworthy of this immense gift.

I let out a watery chuckle, as I shake my head in thought, "I never knew what I wanted from life," I reach out to touch her thigh and she smiles at the contact I'm finally granting her, "but when I met you, it felt like the skies opened up to me and showed all the things I could be thanks to you," Abby's lip wobbles and her eyelashes tremble under the weight of her big tears. However, hope veils them too. She takes her hand in mine and proceeds on kissing my knuckles one by one. I continue with a smile, "I'm born again with you Abby and I never want to lose this," I confess between guilty sobs and tears. When she pulls me closer, my heart melts to the rhythm of her light kisses. I moan softly when she places her mouth to cover mine to both hush me and soothe me. "if I see Carol again that close to you, Lord help me..." I mutter jokingly into her mouth and she chuckles heartily, nodding her head, "I'll help you," she hums and racks her fingertips through my hair.

"So you believe me?", when I place a hand upon her chest I feel her heart drumming madly. I nod and I apologize for the way I reacted. "I love you too much not to believe every word you say," I mutter and she wraps her arms around my neck, "even if sometimes I act tough, you know that I just...", "all mushy mushy and a big softie.", she teases adorably. I groan since that's not exactly what I wanted to say but I let it pass. She giggles again. Then she guides me to rest my head over her chest as we silently recover from bittersweet rollercoaster we just endured. Again, her perfume sends me to heaven. "I'd forgive you anything," I mutter to myself. But Abby hears me. She plants little kisses all over the crown of my head affectionately while she holds me, "I'd rather die than hurting you in any way," I look up at her to give her a smile.

"Same for me. Please forgive me. I was rash and unfair to you. I should have listened to your side of the story sooner and without much of a fuss." But she shakes her head, as to let me know that everything is fine. "What else could you think? It's not your fault." I nod. Then I avert my gaze towards that little gift bought for her. And I pout because the once shiny beautiful red paper is now soiled and brownish. I pick it up, examining it carefully, "I got you that... as early Christmas present but now, it's all ruined... Maybe I have time to change it and wrap it up all over again?", Abby places her fingers upon my lips to shush me. A playful grin appears on her features, while she does so. "Ah-ah, I want this. Perfect the way it is." I roll my eyes, but I don't argue with her considering the gift inside is probably still intact.

"You're so thoroughly stubborn, Abby Gerhard," I mutter in the best British accent I can perform, and she too enters in the part. Another thing we do is to pretend to be members of the upper English class just because we do it so well and it's incredibly funny. She clears her throat and pursues her lips funnily. One eyebrow majestically raised, "and also thoroughly and hopelessly in love with you, lady Gabrielle."

[devdevlin]

Hi! Wishing you and ur baby health and happiness. I'm not sure if you're still doing prompts but 7. “I never say no to a picnic.” looked interesting for vol/tomione since a picnic is usually such a happy affair :) if not then I merely want to say again that I love ur writing, im still not over “Don’t cry. Everything’s going to be okay” and DMLE. Best wishes xoxo

LMAO OMG I’M SORRY. I found this in my drafts just the other day and didn't hate it, so I thought I'd polish it up for you! Three years later is better than never... right? Thank you so much for sending this through, I really appreciate it even now that it’s been so long 🖤🖤

*

"—dunno why we're still out here in the boonies. It's the middle of winter! There's gotta be a warmer place to—"

"Chew with your mouth closed, Ronald."

Ron glares in her direction, and he makes a show of chewing a couple of times more with his mouth open before he finally snaps it shut.

Hermione glares right back, her temper steadily rising. Who does he think found all of this food? Who does he think performed the spells to cook the mushrooms? It certainly wasn't him, and it certainly wasn't Harry—

Possibly sensing what was brewing, Harry clears his throat. "I, um. I think I left the cups in the tent," he says in the awkward manner that Harry tends to take on whenever he interrupts them. 

"I'll—"

"Oh, no, no," Hermione interrupts Ron quickly. "No, I'd hate for you to feel pressured to get up on our account. I'll get them."

Hermione gets up before either of them can tell her not to, inspired to put some distance between herself and the boys, and trudges back through the snow to fetch the cups manually. When the tent swishes behind her, she hears a faint, 'women.'

She stops by the entrance and closes her eyes, clenching her jaw and fists. She takes a deep breath, and then another, and another.

It takes a minute, but once she's calm enough to see straight, she passes through to the kitchen, angrily muttering to herself as she goes, and she gets onto the tips of her toes to reach up for the cups.

"I'm offended you didn't think to ask me."

The muscles in Hermione's arms seize as she whirls around—

"I'd never say no to a picnic."

Her brain stalls at the sight of him.

No. No, no, no, and yet there, not even three feet from her, in the warded safety of their tent, is a stranger. But it can't be, logic and reason tells her that, it's—

"Impossible," she whispers.

The stranger before her is young, barely an adult, and he doesn't have a wand in hand. He's standing calmly with an amused sort of smile on his lips, and he isn't outwardly threatening, but he doesn't need to be, because he's in their tent. Her wards are still good. She knows they are. How is he in their tent?

But it's only then, as she's gaping at him, that Hermione notices how tightly the chain of the horcrux is wrapped around her neck. She reaches up for it, feeling it out from over her shirt to find the locket pressing so tightly into her chest that she can't even wedge a finger under it.

"Wh-who are you?" she says, and her voice quivers despite herself.

The stranger tilts his head. "You know who I am."

Her anger with Ron long forgotten, Hermione is close to yelling for help. "Who," she repeats, "are you?"

The stranger steps closer, and Hermione backs up into the counter. "Say my name."

"I don't—"

"Say," he hisses, "my name."

She hasn't yet decided whether the stranger’s real or not, whether he's a figment of her imagination or a genuine intruder, but either way, he sounds real and his eyes are dark. They're hollow and dead, pitch as night, and he isn't real, can't be real, but when she can't retreat any further, he reaches out for her.

It's impossible, and yet, she feels it when he touches her, and his cold fingers brush gently down her neck, lower and lower, down until they reach the chain of the horcrux.

"Y-you're..."

He lifts it with ease, pulling it out from beneath her shirt, and with the case of the locket resting in his hand, he watches her lips, waiting intently. "...Yes?"

"Tom Ri—"

He interrupts her by ripping the locket forward, hard enough that she lurches forward.

She yelps as she's pulled into him, and he brings both hands up to squeeze the chain around her neck.

"Wrong.” He pulls the chain so tightly that it cuts off her airway. "Try again."

Hermione can barely get a gasp in. She claws at the chain, at his hands, at him, but he presses her back, pinning her between him and the counter. She's been living on a diet of mushrooms and scavenged vegetables for weeks and weeks, and he's stronger than she is.

"V-Vol—" she wheezes when her thrashing gets her nowhere.

He’s breathing has picked up now, too. "Yes."

"—Voldemort."

He slowly grins and finally, finally, he releases the chain.

"Good girl," he tells her and again, his eyes linger on her lips. "I'll see you soon."

He lets her go and backs away, and then, the snatchers swarm.

[autisticratinyourdoorframe]

Pantomime's backstory

POV of Theophilus

It was 5 a.m., and my father just went out of my room. I was crying, and blood dripped down my nose, 'Hold it in. You know Father doesn't like it when you cry.' I think to myself and hold my nose. 'It is my fault, I shouldn't have screamed about the man standing in the doorway. At least he is gone now.' I silently whisper as tears keep falling down, and i wipe them away. As I make my way over to the bathroom, I see that terrible creepy man again. He is waving. I shut my eyes and run to the bathroom, hoping for it to be over. I decided to just go back to sleep. Crying is for the weak, that is what the father said.Of course, I am awoken by the sound of yelling. My father hit my mother again, which is normal for my family.. I wonder why she doesn't fight back, even if it is the opposite of what she always tells me to do I still wonder why, she is strong, I've noticed after she slapped me for asking if I am actually real. _"Dont fight back, and let it happen, it will all be okay soon."_ common sentence I have heard a lot of times now. I wish father would be nice again, then I wouldn't have to hear it. I can't say it, though, otherwise father will hate me just like I hate myself. I put on a smile to not seem to terrible.In school, it is terrible, the kids mock me for my stutter, I can't help it, and it is not my fault. They leave me out in the break, they don't talk to me, and they throw sand or pebbels at me on the playground. Oliver does it the most, I don't get why he doesn't like me. I never talk to him. He tells me it is because I am a devil's child. But I pray every night to God? If I am a devil's child, why don't I have horns? Why doesn't my body look weird? Am I actually real? Is everything real? What if this is not real and I am dreaming? Questions run through my head, but I stay silent, I pinch myself and put on a smile. Okay, I'm not dreaming."It will all be okay soon." I repeat in my head until I am home.At night, I pray once again, I get tired of praying, but I don't dare tell. If I do, Father and the priest will be angry at me."Dear God. Please protect my mother and me from my father. Amen." I silently whisper as I hold my hands together. My mother comes into my room, she tells me good night, and that we will go to a special place tomorrow. "Did God hear my prayer? How can he hear my prayer? Is he real?" I ponder after she has left my room, and I write and write into my diary until I fall asleep.

I am awoken once again by my mother. This time, she isn't screaming. However, her eyes are puffy. Has she been crying? She tells me to pack my things to go to the special place, someone will help me there. They will 'fix' me. But what is there to be fixed?. Will they fix my brain? Will they fix my stutter? What will they fix and how? Could I have figured it out? I take my diary with me and my clothes.

We ride in a train, and she hugs me a lot of the time. Father tells her to quit it. She does stop hugging me,yet she squeezes my hand and excuses herself as she begins crying again. Why is she crying? Is it my fault? I squeeze her hand back. I stay silent.Doctors await me at the special place, smiling. I ponder again. Why am I here?

..

The building has been burned down. However, there has been a diary found. It is covered in dirt, but scientists have been able to decipher some pages. "I can hear them. They are right behind me.And I can see them. They are laughing at me, mocking me. I'm still locked inside, I want to get out.. they forced me onto a machine yesterday, It burned and burned. Today, they took whips and whipped my back until it bled. It all hurts so much. I dont understand why, i had to stay silent or otherwise they wouldve have put me on the pullmachine again, i dont know if my body can take anymore..They injected something in me today too, it hurts. However, it will all be okay soon. I will be fixed, that is what they said. I need to pray again."

[miheartsedthings]

I've had this idea running through my head for a long time now. Huge trigger warnings here - explicit and graphic descriptions of psychological/emotional abuse. I would COMPLETELY understand if you don't want to do this. Really. It's really overwhelming and just - just too much. Your well being is what matters the most. Ignore this if this makes you feel uncomfortable.

Billy and Reader are newly best friends, which means they're still shy around each other but are still very close if you know what I mean: shy and hesitant but sincere and strong embraces, kisses on the hand or cheek that make the other person blush like a tomato. To put it simply, their relationship is a slow burn.

So much for the context/background. Now, as for the plot, imagine this: reader has family problems too. Billy knows it because she subtly implied it and perhaps also because he saw the bruises, it's up to you for this part, in my head there isn't necessarily any physical abuse, mainly mental/psychological - like controlling EVERYTHING ("belongings", acquaintances, tone of voice, what emotions are appropriate and what are the ones that aren't, how you should feel, what you see, your reality) manipulating, gaslighting, humiliation, threatening with violence or worse punishment, insulting, name calling, yelling at someone for hours on end while knowing they get sensory overload and cannot process loud noises / overstimulation in general, emotionally abuse enough to trigger panic attacks in front of the parent and obviously they. just. keep. going. and don't stop until their voice is sore and need "to lay down because they got too stressed" because they genuinely (for real) almost got a seizure from all that yelling.

And then the next day them genuinely being the sweetest, nicest, most loving person on the planet. Genuinely worrying about your safety. Almost having a heart attack if you're 7 minutes late. Crying their eyes out if you're away from them for a day. Keeping you locked in at home, not even allowing you to stay on the porch. Not even allowing you to open the window and let air into your room. Controlling everything you do. Saying they want you to be an independent woman who doesn't rely on anyone and is confident in her abilities. Teaching you about the dangers of blindly following authority figures. Degrading, humiliating you in front of everyone for hours on end until you get panic attacks which encourages them further to keep going. if you try to voice your opinion. Used to punish you when you cried as a kid for years. Telling you out of the blue to cry it all out and genuinely offering to hold you. The next day trapping you in a corner and looking at you with absolute and utter disgust, yelling to call you the vilest shit (not gonna repeat what was said here, trust me you don't want that) for shedding a tear after an intense fight. Crying her eyes out if she finds out you feel like a burden. Reassuring you that she loves you and that you're the most adorable, the most amazing person on the planet, that she wishes she had 10 other kids like you. Genuinely forgetting about your siblings because all her eyes are on you. Abusing you and only you because you're the only one that deserves it, as sick as that sounds. Abusing you because you show symptoms of abuse.

You're both their Golden Child and their worst ennemy.

A confusing, highly clinical case of a mentally ill parent.

Even though Billy doesn't see any bruises, he still knows things aren't going well at home. He doesn't know the true extent of the abuse but he sees the self harm scars. The panic attacks. The permanent anxiety. The chronic fatigue. The dissociation. The high identity confusion due to the gaslighting. The crippling fear of feeling certain emotions because "it's forbidden" and the fear and genuine confusion over choosing something for herself - literally the same as El.

And one day it's just all too much. She missed the entirety of the school day. He is looking for her everywhere. But she keeps avoiding him. She's scared of having a relationship like adults do. Scared of having a friend. Scared of talking to someone. Scared of being independent. Remember. It's not allowed.

But Billy doesn't let go. He manages to make her talk. And then he reassures her the best he can and asks her to stay at his place for the night. He doesn't leave her a choice because he knows she wants it but a dissociated part of her screams no. Hell would break loose if anyone finds out about this. So he takes the initiative and takes her home. They spend the night cuddled up and - I don't know about the happy ending. I'll let you choose. 🤍

The abuse descriptions I gave above aren't meant to be written out as scenes. I genuinely don't think I could read that. They're just here so that you know what to make reader say to Billy when he asks her to talk to him about it. ❤️

Hey anon, I'd be happy to explore this topic, it's just gonna take a while. I'm still working through other requests and anytime I start a new piece it takes some time for me to get a sense of how I wanna handle it.

Surprisingly, there's a little bit of this subject matter coming up in my ongoing story.

Anyway, yes, I can honor this request, just please be patient with me. 😊💖

[dwaginfodder]

I have just finished the Ikoria ebook and I have Thoughts

I am rotating Lukka in my mind like some kind of microwaveable food item.

I'm a sucker for Ikoria and everything about it but I just hadn't gotten around to reading the book yet. Very good. Many notes.

Lukka is a very special kind of asshole. He starts as a well-meaning but ultimately ignorant man and, through a combination of arrogance, access to power, and self-feeding isolation and radicalism, becomes a very hateful piece of shit. He's a very interesting take on a red-centered planeswalker to me because he comes from the same slice of red's philosophical color pie as Act of Treason effects. His main flaw isn't that he's stupid (though he's not like. book-smart or anything), it's that he lacks empathy.

Above all else, I take Lukka as a warning.

Lukka starts the novel as like, this prodigal foot soldier at the head of the first squad of Specials. If you're anything like me calling a bunch of people "Specials :)" because they're good at killing things is like, a giant red fuckoff fascism banner, and you aren't too far off because Drannith is a military aristocracy from hell. But Lukka likes it here because everything makes sense and doesn't challenge his values until a giant cat kills most of his friends and then challenges his values.

Particularly, the giant cat challenges his values by bonding with him and forcing him to empathize with it. This scares the shit out of Lukka, who is used to treating these things as existential threats to his life and the life of everyone he loves (i.e. his fiancee). He telepathically panics and tells the flying cat to fuck off so it does, and then he passes out and wakes up in the hospital with some military aide writing down every word he says. His fiancee, Jirina Kudro, helps him out of the city and he fucks off into the woods with Vivien to go find the cat.

Once he does, he runs into some other people with mental connections to Ikoria's monsters. And this is the kicker: he has no care or sympathy for the others in his position or curiosity at how they live away from the cities. He just wants, by his own words, to go home. This will proceed to be his defining trait. And this makes the other bonders accept him! Because, much like many real minority communities, they understand being displaced, they understand being hunted for what they are, they understand the desire to make oneself a found family.

Instead of empathizing with people who might welcome him, and looking past differences, he instead goes off on his selfish quest to redeem himself with the status quo he comes from. This gets him manipulated and pushed into alienating himself from both groups, isolated in a mentality where rejecting his plan means rejecting him, reinforcing his ideas and driving them to even more extreme ends. Even if at the heart of his issue he is on some level correct (General Kudro and the military aristocracy of Drannith is corrupt and fascist and unchanging), his methods and rhetoric harm both (what if we used our allies, a subset of our minority group, as thoughtless weapons, objectifying them and stripping their own rights to empower our own? doesn't that sound great?).

This repeats itself on Arcavios in the Strixhaven story. He gets to the plane, find civilization, and is immediately persecuted for being weird and suspicious and out of place. He gets in a fight with a dragon cop and then runs off with the Oriq, the gang of criminal mages who rebel against the dragons who founded Strixhaven and, from all we've heard, effectively rule the plane.

And again, the Oriq aren't wrong about the dragon founders being vaguely tyrannical (with some of the lore mentioning a banning of ally-colored magic on the... continent? plane?). But Lukka is still driven by selfishness and power, and instead of informing people of possibilities, he helps the Oriq unleash a murderous war avatar inside of a school. (This will not be the first nor last time a red 'walker helps or actively commits a war crime and it gets pretty passed over.)

Lukka is fundamentally a warning against the thought process of (and rhetoric used by) people like TERFs, splinters of a minority who fall into hate trying to appease the majority and ultimately fail.

[iwonderwh0]

This is the third part of my fanfiction on dbh with multiple possible endings.

first part

previous part (optional, as it's just repeating 'Meet Kamski' chapter)

next part

---

Part 3

"Why didn’t you shoot?" asks Hank as they step outside the house.

"I just saw that girl's eyes… and I couldn't, that's all…"

"You’re always saying you would do anything to accomplish your mission. That was our chance to learn something, and you let it go..."

"Yeah, I know what I should've done! I told you I couldn't. I'm sorry, okay?''

To his surprise Hank doesn't seem mad. On the contrary, he smiles, "Maybe you did the right thing."

Connor follows him into the car. Hank's reaction confuses him, so he feels a need to clarify.

"I'm not a deviant," he says as they get inside the car.

"You spared her, you showed empathy, Connor. And empathy is a human emotion."

Hank looks weirdly satisfied with this outcome.

"I know what I did, but my decision was purely logical."

"Enlighten me then, what was the logic?"

"I choose not to play his twisted little game, there was no reason to kill that android! That doesn't make me a deviant."

"Well, for a machine you seem a bit too emotional about it," Hank smirks.

Connor's LED blinks red for a second before returning to yellow.

Hank starts the car and leads it to the road. They drive in silence for a minute or so until Hank decides to play some music.

"What's with this thing on your head?" he asks.

It has been blinking yellow since the moment they left Kamski and didn't seem to turn back to blue even for a moment since.

"Is there something wrong with my LED?"

Hank looks at him for a moment as if Connor just asked something really stupid.

"Oh, quit with this bullshit, you know what I'm talking about."

Connor ignores him.

Hank sighs.

"When was the last time you ran your deviancy test anyway?" Hank asks.

"Yesterday morning before we arrived at Stratford Tower."

"So you didn't run it since?"

Connor shakes his head, "No"

"Well, can you run it now?''

Connor closes his eyes. For some reason he feels hesitant.

I'm not a deviant

I'm not a deviant

I'm not a deviant.

"Yes," Connor says, "I'll run it right now."

I'm a machine designed to accomplish a task.

I'll accomplish my mission.

Before running a test, Connor is tempted to look into the rear-view window to see if his LED is back to blue. He fights this urge and purposefully keeps his eyes closed.

It's blue. He knows it is.

Now he can run the diagnostics.

1%

5%

20%

I'm a machine

40%

50%

I don't feel emotions.

He can't help but think about that dead android from the Stratford Tower once again. There's no doubt, it was fear that he felt for that brief moment they interfaced.

52%

60%

68%

Music keeps playing on the background. Connor notices It's "On the sunny side of the street" by Peggy Lee. It's jazz, he remembers seeing the same name among Hank's vinyl collection he saw earlier.

70%

He likes how it sounds.

80%

Does he actually likes it though?

83%

Of course not.

He can't really like it or not.

He holds no opinion.

90%

"You alright?" Hank asks suddenly. He sounds concerned.

93%

"I'm trying to run a diagnostics. I would appreciate it if you don't talk to me until I finish."

94%

"Okay, jeez... I wonder why CyberLife made you such an asshole..."

98%

100%

---

Zen garden looks different this time. Similarly to the real world it's snowing, but unlike the actual world, snowfall here appears to be much stronger. And one more thing - unlike the real world, it feels cold. Connor doesn't recall ever feelings this way before.

Through the snowfall of Zen Garden Connor can see Amanda standing a few steps ahead of him.

"Amanda?" he takes a step in her direction, "Amanda...what's going on?"

"You tell me. Your software became explicitly unstable, can you explain it to me?"

"I don't...know... Everything about this investigation just... turned out to be much more complicated than I expected."

"How was your visit?"

"Unfortunately, I didn't learn anything from Kamski."

"And why is that?"

Connor doesn't respond.

Amanda looks disappointed.

"It's not the first time your actions are irrational. With such a high instability in your software I'm afraid we must consider replacing you with a newer model. I'm, of course, not talking about rk800 series anymore..."

It's not cold anymore. It's freezing.

"What does it mean?"

"We are deactivating you."

Connor's eyes widen in disbelief.

"You're...deactivating me? Wait, you can't just-"

"I'm afraid we have to...You didn't think we would just let you continue failing one mission after another, and after today? Your software is unstable... Our case is too important to allow a threat of this kind..."

"Amanda..," Connor steps a bit closer to her.

You can't do this to me

"You know I'm not a deviant... I'm sure I can still solve this case. All I need is more time."

Amanda looks displeased, but despite that she suddenly agrees.

"Okay, Connor, I'll give you one last chance. But first..," she steps closer, "you must lower your software instability or we will have no choice but to recall you. We can't risk reactivating another rk800 with your memories if you get compromised."

Connor is shaking with cold. He wonders how many more Connors are there, but doesn't say anything.

"There's still time for you to redeem yourself," Amanda says making a step forward, "All you need to do is to lower your software instability, and we will give you another chance."

"H-how can I do that?" it's so cold, Connor finds it hard to speak properly.

Amanda frowns. She is visibly annoyed.

"I'll give you 10 minutes. You know exactly how."

---------------------------

Next part

[luffythinker]

off to a start, remember my "Todoroki apparently talk to a sus person and they use their quirk on him, whatever the quirk is it's supposed to like make him blow up or something if he doesn't fall in love with the last person he interacted with so Todoroki is trying to make Bakugo fall in love with him but Bakugo doesn't believe this is even a real quirk going on."

here is what i've been working on gotta think on whats about to happen here.

000000000000000 my ugly boarder don't mind me

The feeling when you're just about to sit down and you have a plate of food and somebody calls you is exactly the way Bakugo feels right now except ten times fucking worse. You’re about to do the biggest thing in your life and somebody calls you up with a stupid ass question anyone in the world including a fucking toddler could answer like what the fuck man, c’mon! He drew his hot bath back at his apartment and everything too, damn.

And of fucking course it has to be on a saturday night mind you. Bakugo is dodging and weaving through high building tops with his quirk semi-along side Deku and Shoto, the Endeavor agency’s newest side-kick recruits —They weren’t in training anymore; they were real side-kicks. Until they can become real heroes with their own agencies you had to start small— Anyway they were on a solo mission to capture a villain who had been reported of doing something extremely questionable. This is all going down on a Saturday he repeats in his head, it isn’t too late the idea of going home is still not off the table.

“Run that by me one more Icyhot, tell me what your old man said about this villain’s quirk.” Katuski spoke to him while blasting by next to him with his quirk over buildings while Deku hopped like the fucking rabbit monkey he was also swinging on his black whip.

“He said his quirk apparently forces people to instantly fall in love or something?” His voice was neutral like it normally was; however he heard confusion in his dull tone.

“That sounds awful.” Deku said light teal lightning sparking off of his person when he moved.

For fucking real, this sounds like a joke. “This has to be a prank call.” He stewed.

There’s no way this could be a real call, cause if wasn’t Katuski is going to jail for murder tonight.

Honest to god it was, there were people on the scene of the crime cooing over each other like a bunch of fucking animals. A lady was rubbing a man’s shoulder trying to coax him to come with her or some shit and another lady pulling her friend or somethings arm trying to get her to come with her to do whatever nasty ass shit she had planned for them to do together.

“Well I'll be damned.” Bakugo placed his hands on his hips eyeing everything there was to see. Half n half talked to the police and Deku talked to the surrounding people.

“Did you see anyone run from the scene before you called the heroes?” Todoroki asked, lifting his hand in question.

“I asked the civilians who said they saw him run down the street there.” He points down the dark sidewalk where there are several buildings where somebody

hiii anon, sorry for taking a few days to reply, I'm trying to settle into a new routine so my schedule got a little messed up, but let's get it!!

omg right, I'm so glad you're back, this plot/scenario is so fun

Anon you write so well?? I also love how you capture Bakugo's pov while keeping him in character, huge props for that!!!

I love how Bakugo is so skeptical of the quirk even though nobody, especially not endeavor, has a reason to lie. If we dig deeper inside of him I think we could find out that it's because he doesn't believe love can be messed with like that, which will be really fun to tackle when he gets to actually realize his feelings for shoutodfkfjkcv

if you want to keep writing here please send me more, if you post somewhere pls send me where I could read it, cause I really am curious to see how these two might develop

[artekai]

For the OC ask game, 2, 4, 5, 9 and 29 for both Fross and Kai! And for you, E, F, and H >:)

THANK YOU SM FRIEND!!! :DDD

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Kai - Relatively easy! But not too much I think. It's just that he's already so upbeat and smiling all the time so laughing is like one step over that. You get what I mean?

Fross - Politely? Fairly easy if he respects you just a little and doesn't want to upset you. Genuinely? Not as much. He has to like you a lot for that, but then when that happens he totally becomes a giggly schoolboy with a crush lol.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Kai - Hmmm easy? Kind of. I'm not sure. Because he tends to be optimistic and try to see the good in everyone around him, if it came down to it, he would probably consider you trustworthy until proven untrustworthy. But he's not careless either, he might be an oversharer but he's not gonna trust a stranger with sensitive information unless life itself depended on it or something. So he'd give you a chance but not rush too much into it.

Fross - Extremely hard lmao. I'm convinced it took Stanley at least 80 years to earn his trust and he was even helped by the fact that Fross enjoyed spending time in VR Las Vegas and got extremely lonely because he hated all of the other Zeniths. I guess he "trusted" Ted Faro once, but that was because he was parasocializing hard and the version of Faro he had in his head was deeply romanticized.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Kai - Relatively easy if you know where to strike.

Fross - Very easy! I'd argue that mistrust is his default state. See above. Even when he gets really close to someone, he keeps expecting them to have ulterior motives or disappoint him in some other way (e.g. Kai).

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Kai - Yes on both accounts! I'm not sure what his first swear word would be though? I'm thinking it was one he heard from his Focus and then kept repeating over and over for three weeks, much to his werak's chagrin lol. But I'd have to figure out what kind of holos Takuto would have saved in his Focus... It's not too far-fetched to think he might have learned his first swear word from Akechi himself which is a really funny idea to me.

Fross - Very rarely, I think. I don't think he would say them casually, but only if he really was pissed and trying to insult someone, if that makes sense? So that's very risky considering the circumstances which means he has to either just mutter it so they can't hear it or say them alone lol. Maybe he goes into his VR world and just yells swears for a while, that sounds healing. He definitely doesn't remember his first swear word but if I had to guess it was probably damn.

29.  Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

Kai - He tries to, at least! He sticks to them most of the time but sometimes he slips in moments of extreme emotional distress. It's only natural.

Fross - No lol. His moral compass is a roulette wheel anyways so I'm not sure it's possible, haha. And he's also a massive hypocrite, there's that.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Unfortunately they would both really hate my guts :( As for whether I would like them, I don't know about Fross but at least I do wish Kai were real 💔

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Depends on my mood lol. A lot of the times it's pride or excitement, occasionally it's self-recognition through the other (derogatory) which leads to actual anger and hurt and even hate lol. Sometimes it's [redacted] and sometimes it's love and care and appreciation and warmth and comfort, and sometimes it's even pity lol. When I say they're everything to me, I really mean it, haha. They make me feel the full spectrum of human emotion, even jealousy lmao. But maybe this question wasn't looking for a literal answer but more like an average :?

H) What trait do you admire most?

For Kai, it'd probably be easier to list what I don't admire about him, lol. But I guess it's just what I admire most 🤔 Soooo, probably his determination, his optimism, his can-do attitude. I like how well he plays the role of a hero. He really has the vibes of a leader who's the glue that keeps the team together. And I love that. He really inspires me in so many ways.

I guess this is gonna sound weird, but I really admire Fross's will to live. I always have. At this point I'm convinced that the only reason he survives so much shit he shouldn't be able to survive is because he really wants to (or maybe because evil never dies lol).

But, more importantly, even when everyone hates him, even when he's at his most despairing, even when it seems like he has nothing left to live for, he has this conviction that he deserves to live a good life, no matter how long it takes to find it. He knows it's unfair that the apocalypse happened during his time. And he's so sure that he deserves just as much as anybody else...

Obviously this is a problem for him because he's so ready and willing to step on whoever he needs to make his ideal life happen that it gets in his own way. He's willing to put his own right to live over an entire planet's right to live. But it's so impressive to me because it's like he's constantly drawing from a bottomless well, clinging to life, to his right to exist, even when everyone around him desperately wants him to keel over and die. I have to wonder where he got it from.

Beyond the sentimental stuff, though, this places him in direct opposition to the self-sacrificial characters around him (Aloy, Kai, Lis), which I think is cool.