#just loosing it at me while I just went noooooo fuck

[smolavidreader]

In the Colony 6 mines in Xenoblade Chronicles. Yes you can walk into the giant mining pit and yes you will die. You’ll also get an achievement for falling from a great height.

I just love it when video games let you do really stupid shit that kills you immediately. I love being like "oh this is a terrible idea" and being able to do it and then die. It's good game design.

[alexander-the-great-hehe]

After a bad breakup, do y’all ever wanna kill that person?? Am I normal??? I’m not going back to the psych hospital, if that’s what anyone wants me to do. But oh my FUCKING GOD. (This is a rant, stop reading if ya want)

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO HER,NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL. LIKE MY GOD, IS ANYTHING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU BITCH. LIKE, I GAVE YOU SPACE, I GAVE YOU GIFTS, PAID FOR LUNCH DATES (which is what a good fucking boyfriend does, I mean, unless ur short on money, but whatever, inflation sucks) AND WOOOOOOOOOOW I BET UR SO FUCKING HAPPY TO BE RID OF ME, ARENT YOU. NOW I FEEL FUCKING SUICIDAL NOW, THANKS BITCH. I WAS DOING SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER, I ACTUALLY NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT FOR A FUCKING WHILE, BUT OOOHHHHH NOW YOU FUCKING JUST SHATTER MY HEART, SHATTER MY ENTIRE WORLD. SHE WAS MY FUCKING WORLD, SHE WAS MY EVERYTHING. AFTER ALL THE GOD DAMN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS I’VE ENDURED, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS ONE WOULD LAST,BUT NOOOOOO SHE HAD TO FUCKING BREAK UP WITH ME, WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. I WALKED INTO SCHOOL FEELING CONFIDENT, AND HAPPY THAT WE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TOGETHER, OR MAYBE EVEN SEE EACH OTHER AT LUNCH AND WE COULD FINALLY TALK IN PERSON (I was away on a family trip for a while, it genuinely sucked, but I ate a pint of ice cream, so that’s fun I guess) I WAS TALKING TO HER, ALMOST EVERYDAY, NOTHING WAS WROMG, BUT THIS *BITCH* DECIDES TO GHOST ME OUT OF NOWHERE, AND I ACTUALLY HEARD FROM A FRIEND THAT SHE BROKE UP WITH ME, NOT EVEN HAVING THE RESPECT FOR ME TO EVEN LIKE, IDK, FUCKING TELL ME THAT WE WERE BREAKING UP, NOT EVEN TRYNA FIX THINGS. JUST, “bye bye”. LIKE, WHAT KINDA BITCH DOES THAT, I GAVE HER EVERYTHING. WE WENT FROM DATING, TO HER HATING ME, IN THE SPAN OF A DAY. DIDNT EVEN TRY TO FIX ANYTHING. ANY GOOD COUPLE HAS TO GO THROUGH UPS AND DOWNS, AND I KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE JUST LOOSING INTEREST, BUT SHE COULDVE IDK, SAID SOMETHING, AND MAYBE WE COULDVE BEEN JUST FRIENDS…idk what to do anymore

(I REALLY needed to vent)

[supremeinlilac]

Headcanon : Laughing

Sarah Paulson Characters x fem!reader

prompt : things you do that make them really laugh

contains : Billie Dean Howard, Ally Mayfair Richards, Cordelia Goode, Wilhemina Venable, Tammy Robinson, Alice Macray, Xandra

disclaimer : none

So basically I just created some little scenarios that I think would make each character laugh,, feel free to let me know how you think they'd laugh :)) this was a load of fun to write.

Billie Dean Howard

-Billie will laugh when you both are out in public, maybe at a press do

-You'll both see someone doing something stupid

-like that time a guy tripped over the set wires backwards into a bin

-you both glance at each other

-she basically turns red trying not to laugh, because if she breathes then she'd burst out laughing

-have to excuse herself

-when you get out of earshots her laugh is really contagious

-hands over her mouth to muffle it

-"oh my god Y/N did you see that" "please tell me you saw that"

-she tells you funny stories about the spirits she's met

-"what are you- Y/N that wasn't even the funny part"

-can't get through the rest of the story because she's laughing at herself too much

Ally Mayfair Richards

-Ally thinks that your laugh is contagious

-definitely tries to make you laugh all the time

-bends over when she laughs, holding her stomach

-"I'm gunna have abs at this rate baby"

-finds your clumsiness hilarious too

-that one time you stepped on Oz's Lego that was on the floor, and started jumping up and down on one leg

-got tangled in the curtains

-ally just couldnt breathe she was laughing so much

-probably laughs in secret at funny videos online

Cordelia Goode

-Cordelia tries to remain professional while around the girls

-stifles laughter when you do little inside jokes across the dinner table

-coughs to hide it

-kicks you under the table

-when it's just the two of you, she can't help but laugh at your impressions

-you impersonate the girls, she loves when you do Madison

-has a really feminine laugh that low-key gives you butterflies

-explosive laughter the one time you do an impression of her mum

-"Y/N stop hahaha, stop, no- my side, my sides are burning"

-once you're both in a giggly mood, it lasts all evening, and you do silly things like pranks together

Wilhemina Venable

-Wilhemina never properly laughs

-mostly it's a condescending chuckle at your expense

-but on pancake day, you decided to go all out and make them from scratch while she stood and watched

-you flipped one but it stuck to the ceiling

-"well wasn't that awfully clever, little one"

-it dropped back into your face with a splat, your eyes wide

-you noticed she was bent over, and you worried that her back was hurting her

-when you asked if she was in pain she stood up and she was actually laughing

-tears were coming out of her eyes

-definitely a silent laugher, one where her shoulders shake and she cries

-gasping for breath and starting all over again when she sees you with the pancake still on your shoulder

-doesn't let you forget

-"remember that time with the panca-" "noooooo"

-smirks everytime you mention pancakes

Tammy Robinson

-a giggler

-laughs at pretty much anything

-finds herself hilarious

-probably in a corner right now laughing at something she though of

-"what are you laughing at?" "I just thought of something funny"

-9 ball showed you both a recording which you had hoped went unnoticed

-you at the Met Gala, tripping backwards over Roses foot down the stairs

-she tries to keep a straight face

-recording continues as you try to act like nothing happened, hair ruffled, smoothing your dress down

-catches your eye and looses her shit

-"you did look amazing in that dress though" wink wink

-definitely has the recording saved

Xandra

-her laugh is condescending as fuck

-mommy issues makes that okay

-more of a chuckle than a hearty laugh

-when you try to whisper rude things to her, or try to take control she'll laugh

-"you're cute when you try to be dominant baby girl"

-laughs when you are self deprecating, but it's less condescending, more endearing

-you were whining that you were a lightweight

-"you maybe a lightweight, but you're my lightweight" "now come here"

Alice Macray

-Alice doesn't really like to fully laugh because she doesn't want to appear unladylike

-can't help it at your jokes

-especially the bad ones

-"what did the cat say to the man?" "tell me"

-"meow because cats can't speak English"

-*silence*

-she bursts into loud loud laughs, and definitely gasps for breath

-"that doesn't even - make any- sense"

-still laughing after 5 minutes

-accidently snorts which sets you both off again

-will laugh quietly to herself later when she thinks you're not watching her

-Alice just deserves more laughter in her life

[yn-dreamlife]

Do I know you?

AU!denki kaminari X reader 

Warnings: breakup, angst, fluff

Description: in high school denki always spoke of his dreams of debuting as a musician and when he was going to give it all up for you you didn’t let him. And when you see him years later your heart breaks all over

“I got it... I’m gonna debut.” Denki whispered holding the paper loosely in his hand.

“Denki that’s amazing I’m so proud of you!” I hugged him but he shook his head. I pulled away confused. “what’s wrong?” I whispered placing a hand on the electric man I have come to love.

“I’m not going.” He sounded so determined but I could see how much it hurt him.

“What?! Why?! You’ve been working so hard, this is your dream!”

He shook his head. “no y/n you don’t get it!” He shouted and I took a step back. Denki never yelled at me. he sighed deeply cupping my cheek. “I’d have to leave Musutafu.”

“So? What does that matter Denki?”

He looked hurt by my words. “That means I would have to leave you!”

I tilted my head confused. “no you wouldn’t I would come with you!” But it dawned on me then. I couldn’t leave Musutafu, not while I had to take care of my father and keep going to school. “Denki,” I hesitated but steeled myself I would not let him give up his dream. Not for me. “you're going.”

“No, I’m not!” He protested, “I don’t want to leave you!” it was now or never I had to say it, no matter how much I didn’t mean it.

“But I want you to!” The look on his face broke my heart. I wanted to reach my hand out and brush away the tears but I can’t. “I don’t want to be with you anymore Denki.”

“W-what? Y/n stop this!” He said cupping my cheek but I brushed him off.

“No, I’m serious.” He stood not moving. “Go!” I yelled at him, the tears were so close to falling. If I broke now I knew it would never last, I would fall back into his arms apologizing and forever be guilty he gave up his dream for me. He left then and as the door clicked shut I whispered “I’m sorry.” As I crumpled to my knees and the sobs ripped their way through my throat. I pulled out my phone calling the only person I could think to call.

“What the hell do you want!” Katsuki said gruffly into the phone.

“Suki.” I whimpered.

“Shit- what happened?! Are you hurt?!” He spoke quickly but I could hear the worry.

“D-Denki he-” A sob stopped me.

“Hang on ill be right there!” He yells into the phone before hanging up. I don't move from my spot on the floor, I just sit and cry when suddenly the door is kicked open.

“Y/n!” I hear him yell as he slides on his knees over to me. “What did dunce face do?! Did he hurt you?! I’ll kill him!” He screamed as he looked me over.

“I-I broke up with him!” I sob.

“w-what? But you love him,” He spoke confused.

“I-i do but-” The sobs were too strong and I couldn't get my story out. He held me for a long while without saying anything. When he finally did speak he said he was going to call Denki and sort this whole thing out.

“No!” I cried ad he stared at me confused as I snatched his phone.

“I broke up with him because he was going to give up his chance at a debut because he didn't want to leave me!” I speak quickly my voice shaking.

His eyes soften even more as he nods and I break down sobbing again. Katsuki stayed with me for a while after that, making the trip to his hero agency from my house. He knew I couldn't be alone right now. I thought I had gotten better but then I heard his name on the radio and went all downhill again.

Katsuki comforted me once again, he knew the pain to some degree. He remembers when Kirishima got his first girlfriend before they had confessed to each other in high school, he felt like he was dying.

But he could barely imagine the pain you were in now. You and Denki had been together for four years, if not more. The truth is you always lost track with him, it just didn't feel long at all but it also felt like it had been over thirty years.

Your father sadly passed away a few months after your break-up, you never felt more alone in your life. Even with Katsuki there, you knew he longed to be back at his shared apartment with Kirishima, so you sent him back.

You pretty much had forced him to leave, he couldn't help it. You were like his sister he wanted to take care of you. Of course, he also felt bad for Denki, he was still his friend too. Luckily Kirishima handled him for the most part, Katsuki couldn't do both on his own without getting caught in a mix.

“Oh god Eij, I don't know what's gonna happen with her.” He said his first night back. “What if someone breaks in? What if she calls him? What is she hears about him on the radio or social media? What if-” Kirishima cut off his fiance's worries with a kiss.

“She’s a big girl, she can handle this. Besides at some point, she was going to have to learn how to live on her own again, so let her do it on her own terms.” He whispered caressing the side of his lover's face.

You hadn't gotten any better at your house, well you kind of did. You stopped crying, but now all you really felt was numb. You wanted him back, simple as that.

There was no ands, ifs, or buts you simply wanted your boyfriend back. But in the end, you were happy for him, he was going to live his dream. Even if he couldn't have you with him. Although you had considered calling him once your dad died but thought better of it.

He was probably busy working on his first album or something. What you didn't know is that he saw your father's name in the electronic paper and wished you had called. No, more than that. He wished he had called. You were mourning the death of your father, he should have called to check.

But he couldn't bring himself to do it. So instead he asked his friends, the only connection he had to you really. He sent them letters to give to you at random times, as well as sending pre-orders of flowers into local flower shops so they would be delivered while he was on his first tour and you would never know the batch of yellow roses were from him.

Each gift made you smile every time and the explosive blonde was always sure to thank his friend for what he did for you even if he was still under the impression you had fallen out of love with him.

It was a little over three years later. Denki was finishing up another tour, and he was a huge star by now. He was doing a show in Musutafu Japan and everyone from class 1A was coming. It was fitting since that’s where you all went to school.

I was shocked when I got my invite but I just assumed he had an assistant send an invite to all 1A students. The concert was in a week or so Denki wouldn’t be in town for a few more days so to say I was shocked at what was happening was an understatement.

I was just walking around the park near my apartment like always when I looked down at my phone and then seconds later ran straight into someone. I ended up almost falling except the stranger caught me.

I looked up only to see a familiar pair of golden eyes. “D-Denki?!” I stuttered out shocked.

“Uh...” he looked at me confused.

“Oh my goodness I am so sorry.” I bowed deeply before I hesitantly stood back up straight seeing as he was still confused.

“Dens? You okay?” The nickname slipped out so easily. Just like his first name had.

“Dens?! I’m sorry do I know you?” I looked at him shocked and hurt tears welling in my eyes.

“Are you serious?” He raised an eyebrow. “Unbelievable.” I scoffed.

He stood there silently as I began to walk away “glad to know three years erasers four years worth of memories. I should have known better.” I scoff as I roll my eyes walking over to Katsuki's car that I see waiting to pick me up for lunch.

“W-wait!” I hear him call behind me but before he can I get into the car.

“Is that Denki?!” Katsuki asks shocked.

“Yeah,” I mutter bitterly. Katsuki gives me a raised eyebrow but I shake my head. He gets out of the car to greet his friend.

“Oi dunce face you weren't supposed to be here for another few days!” I hear Katsuki yell before closing the door and going to talk to him. I can’t hear anything but mumbled words. I try to ignore the way my heart hurts as I wipe the silent tears from my cheeks, missing the golden eyes on me.

“Hey, Kachan!” Denki says embracing his friend his mind still reeling from realizing it was YOU he bumped into. “I-is that-“

Katsuki cuts him off. “Y/n? Yeah.”

“Shit. I didn’t even recognize her.” Denki says embarrassed.

“Really?!”

“Well yeah. The last I saw her was three years ago and as much as I wanted to I’d never allow myself to look at her socials. It... it just hurt too much.”

That’s when Katsuki remembers, you two didn’t just break up YOU dumped HIM. The last thing he thought was that you fell out of love with him.

“Yeah, I guess a lot had changed.”

“Yeah, but once I saw her eyes it hit me. I’d never forgotten those eyes.” Katsuki could tell the second he saw Denki's eyes hit you, he was still in love with you.

“Hey dunce face there’s something you should know-.” Katsuki started but before he could finish Denki was getting a call.

“Shit it’s my manager I wasn’t supposed to leave the hotel. I-I’ll catch up with you later okay? It was really nice talking to you Kachan!” Denki says as he hugs his friend before answering the phone quickly rushing off.

Katsuki sighs As he goes back to the car. “Aw, the great and famous Denki have to leave already? Too good to hang around us commoners for too much longer?” You asked bitterly.

Katsuki looked at you shocked. “Don’t give me that! He didn’t even recognize me! I mean you’d think after four or more years of being together every day you would remember a person! But noooooo now your famous and too good to even remember the girl you were supposedly in love with!” You yell. Katsuki puts a hand in your shoulder and you look at him.

“It’s okay to still be sad y/n. You can let it out.” With that, it was like the damn bust. The fake facade of anger faded and the tears leaked from your eyes.

“I-it fucking hurts. I think about him every. Single. Day. And he just.... forgot about me.”

“You know he never kept up with you in social media....” Katsuki says softly.

“What?” You ask pulling away.

Katsuki begins to drive as you continue. “He said he never kept up with you on social media, it hurt too much. You gotta remember y/n/n in his mind... you fell out of love with him.”

It all set in then. And the rest of the car ride was silent as you thought about what he said.... he was right that’s how you ended it. Convincing Denki you didn’t love him that you didn’t want him. In his mind, there must be no reason for you to be upset because you left him.

It was the day of the concert and you had made up your mind you were going to talk to him. Explain, and at the very least after that get him to forgive you. At the best.... well you wouldn’t even think of that, it’s not possible.

You were standing in the front row staring up at the stage as you watched him come out. Energetic and bursting with happiness. You smiled widely tearing up, this was his dream... and he was happy. At the very least you don’t regret what you did.

You watched him perform his songs watching him dance and sing feeling the energies of everyone around you. The crowd loved him almost as much as he loved them. You couldn’t help but feel like you kept seeing his eyes flick to you but you convinced yourself that it was just the rest of the class he was looking at.

At one point he sang the song he used to sing to you. It was a love song he wrote, it described you and all the things he thought were so perfect that you thought were flaws. There was a full ache in your chest listening to it.

Remembering all the times he would hold you as he sang the words softly. Or when he would cup your cheeks and sing lines to you. The soft moments shared just between the two of you flashing in your mind. What you didn’t know if they always flashed in his.

The rest of class 1A looked between you two. Knowing that you both still so clearly loved each other. Even after so long apart.

After that, the concert had ended you and the rest of class 1A went backstage.

“Oi dunce face!” Katsuki yelled you giggled softly seeing Denki turn around a soft blush on his cheeks but a wide smile on his face. He embraced Kirishima, Katsuki, Hanta, and Mina.

You missed the way he instinctively went to hug you too because you’re weren’t looking at him. You all were catching up enjoying hearing stories and sharing bits of your own personal life. You didn’t talk much and when you did it wasn’t for long. Finally, people were talking amongst themselves and you decided it was time.

You went to look for Denki snd when you couldn’t find him you asked around. You heard that he was out meeting fans so you went to find him. What you saw was beautiful. Denki was beaming as he took photos and signed autographs. One of the girls looked up at his eyes shining.

“E-excuse me M-mr. Kaminari s-sir.” She stuttered.

“Hey there what’s your name? And please just call me d-Denki!” He said happily taking the photo and marker the girl handed him.

“U-um Naomi.” She stuttered before clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders. “I was wondering who was your last song about?”

“My last song?” He asked to clarify and she nodded a soft smile formed as he signed the photo handing it back and grabbing the next giving the girl a smile. “It was actually about my first love. We broke up when I debuted it just.... wasn’t the right circumstances so she ended things with me.”

“She sounds stupid.” One girl scoffed.

“Yeah what idiot would leave you? I mean I would drop anything to date you.” Another chimed in.

“I mean she couldn’t have been THAT amazing like your song says if she left you.” A third chimed in.

Tears welled in your eyes. You were stupid to leave him, and you weren’t the same girl his song described.

“Hey Guys c’mon don’t-“ Naomi tried to cut in only to be cut off.

“I think you should leave.” A low voice said and your head snapped up. Denki stood their shoulders tensed and eyes hardened.

“What?!” The three girls gasped in unison.

“I said leave. I’ll have you know that she was better than what my song described! And those circumstances she wasn’t willing to drop was her father who was severely ill. How dare you talk about someone you don’t know like that!” He says anger evident in his voice. Hell, it fucking radiates from him.

Denki gave Naomi one last smile before glaring at the other girls again and turning to walk away. When he did turn he got a few paces before stopping dead in his tracks his eyes locking with yours.

You stood there shocked the tears that had slipped down your face still there and your eyes most likely a little red.

“Y/n?! Sunshine what’s wrong?!” He says rushing to you instinctively cupping your cheeks.

“Y-you... t-they...” your brain wasn’t working. For once you were the one short-circuiting.

“They had no right to talk about you like that and I’m sorry you heard it. And I’m sorry about the other day too when I didn’t recognize you. I hadn’t seen you in so long.” He says as he rubs your cheek softly. “But then I saw your eyes and I heard that fiery attitude of yours and recognized you instantly.” He said a soft smile on his face.

“I don’t regret it you know?” You blurted out. His face dropped and he pulled his hand away. But you grabbed it holding it in your own okaying with his fingers as you continued. “I saw you up there... you were fucking glowing dens. The energy you radiate on that stage and the energy I felt from that crowd, I would never regret hurting both of us if it meant this for you.”

“Y/- wait did you say hurting both of us?” He asked tilting his head.

“Of curse both of us.”

“But you- you said that you didn’t love me.”

“I... I kinda lied. I- I knew you would stay and I didn’t want to take your dream away from you. So I lied, but dens you gotta know that there is nothing that hurt me more than that. God I still fucking love you but I would go through it all again if it means you get your dream- THIS dream.”

He softly whispers “You love me?” And your eyes widen. Shit, you did say that out loud? You mod closing your eyes waiting for the rejection. You drop his hand.

“Y-yeah. But it’s okay, you have thousands of wonderful eligible people. Hell, you might even be with someone. I wouldn’t expect you to have waited around all these years when you thought I didn’t love you.” There was more silence as you continued to avoid his gaze.

“I- I think I should go, get back with the others. Leave you to your fans. You can just forget everything I said haha.” The laugh was forced and pitiful, you both heard it and you inwardly cringed.

“Why would I forget it?” He whispered and you looked to him only to see the widest smile you had seen since you two were together “why would I forget the love of my life saying she still loves me? Am I crazy?!” And with that, he pulled you into his arms and kissed you deeply.

His fans roared with applause and cheers, you found yourself blushing but not pulling away. “I sang my song to you for a reason sunshine, it's 'cause your still my whole fucking world.” He whispered. And you found yourself smiling just as wide.

The next day the chargers, Denkis fan base, had your ship name with him trending on Twitter. Thousands of pictures and posts of you two together and kissing exploded on the internet wondering if it was just a publicity stunt.

But those theories were silenced when Denki got past his PR people and posted a tweet about how he was finally back with the love of his life.

And when Denki saw a familiar face, the girl Naomi from the night before and the words of encouragement and love she sent towards the two of you in hopes of amending what her now ex-friends said. The girl found herself gaining quite a few followers. All with names suspiciously like the Baku-squad hero names. With pictures of people that seemed just a bit too similar to the hero’s and singer, she loved so much. But her favorite was “y/n/n0230” who sent her a quick message thanking her for the kind words.

The chargers were thrilled that you two were together but no one was as happy as the two of you.... well except maybe the rest of your squad, happy to see their two balls of sunshine shining once again.

[wxsuthorn]

Yes, I am that person who spams the groupchat about BL.

I was watching A Round Trip To Love for the first time and here’s what i spammed my group chat:

omg what the im like one minute in and someone already got shot

ten minutes in and someone’s about to get topped

oh my god they are so cute look at that

oof he don’t wanna do the do

oh my god literally just get married

the rings i cannot

this is so frigging oh my god i love it

wait no omg they were found

NO DONT HIT MY SON SCREW YOU

ugh homophobes

now everything’s fricking sad

hong kong?

hey i used to live there

for 7 years

cool

omg the ringggggg

omg the letters

omg this is so sad what

what

jejskskjskdkxndndkkd no stop my heart is dying

NO WHAT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT I WAS NOT READY WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT OMG HIS BROTHER IS GAY TOO OH MY GOD WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIY WAIT HIS BROTHER HIS BROTHER HIS BROTHER HIS BROTHER BEN GAY KRUB AKMSNSKSNND

omg wait

this movie is so fast pace wait what

OMG WAIT

HE IS

THE CEO

OF THE COMPANY

AND HE STILL HAS THE RING

WHAT THE FRIIIIIIIIDGE

HOLY

MOTHER OF GOD

OH

MY

GOD

HE SEES THAT HE NO LONGER WEARS THE RING

HOLY FRICK

oh my god

oh my god

omg wait he’s giving him noodles

omg peak asian boyfriend material

omg wait that’s so fucking cute what uwu

oh my god

he said it

he

holy

LIAR

WHAT

WAIT THE RING

AND THE LETTERS

OMG THERE ARE SO MANY IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

IT WAS HIS MOM’S FAULTH

DMEKKDKD

YES BOY RUN TO UR MANS

omg the mom is so homophobic that she’s asking to die instead of have a gay don

son*

what a great parent

HE LEFT

WHAT

HE LEFT

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

WAIT NO

HE SENT A TEXT

wait

okay

oh wow

he threw his phone

omg

holy shit

oh my god noooooo fucking what the shit MY RICH SON I KNOW SHIT IS HARD BUT IT DO BE LIKE THAT SOME TIMES NOW STOP HITTING YOUR BOYFRIEND’S BROTHER’S BOYFRIEND

OH MY GOD NOOOO HE HIT HIS BACK ON THE CORNER OF THE TABLE WTFFF

THAT SHIT HURTSS

OMG NOOO

omg

holy shit

HE WAS PARALYSED

wait

oh my god

OH MY GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god

omg stop fighting my children holy shit stoopooOooOoooppp

ugh

the friggin sound cut off

oh my god poor baby

xiao chen is just a baby

oh no

the mom

oh my god

she’s gonna die

i swear she’s gonna die by the end of this

aahhhh this is bad now the mom wil hate mr. lu even more

omggggg

太可怜

为什么jakkskskksksk我会哭死了kssmndkx他们为什么要打架????

omg is she gonna kill herself

no wait

okay

i think we’re safe

damn i feel so bad for her

even tho she homophobic she’s still got some shit going on

HOLY SHIT SHE

DIED

UH

WHAT

wait

she died

wait no waht

what

你为什么要答应她?makajskqkns

Istg if he runs over him im gonna loose my fricking marbles

Asdlkfjalsdjfsljkdf he stopped lets go

NO WHAT

DONT YOU DARE

FRICK

ALKDLKJDFLKJSFLJD

Omg he literally just did that

He just

Holy

NOEEEEEE

WHAT THE HELL WHY TF WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT THIS WAS GONNA BE ANGSTY

PEOPLE JUST SAID IT WAS EXPLICIT

BUT THEY DIDNT WARN ME ABOUT THIS

WHAT

WHAT THE FRGGIN FRACK

WHAT

THE

HELL

WHAT

I JUST WANTED A BREAK FROM MAKE IT RIGHT BEFORE I STARTED SEASON TWO

NOT A BREAK IN MY FRIGGIN HEART SLKJDFLDSJFLKDSJ

Istg ill shove those flowers down the dad’s throat

I hate BL parents

I only like Pete’s dad, Kao’s mom, like a few other people who I can’t exactly think of at the moment, but other than that parents are disgusting creatures of beastiality

Oh my god

The ring drop

I will literally die

Watch me

Im dead

Im now ghost writing this

LKFJDL:SJDFL:JDSF:LKJLDFN

Omg the symbolism.

He drops the ring

Tries so hard to pick it back up again

But then someone stops him, before he could hurt himself.

Ring represents his love with xiao chen

I literally

What the hell

This is art

But it’s angsty and sad and idk what to do other than cryyyyyyyyLSJF

OMG WAIT SHE PICKS IT UP FOR HIM LETS GO.

Wait what if she symbolizes like the universe or nature or fate and its just like: relax i get that for you hold up a sec tho

Lu Feng is so strong. Like mentally

He has to suffer with the guilt of the death of xiao chen’s mom and the guilt of his brother being paralyzed

He is also heartbroken and his father literally is so oppressive and just terrible to him

He willingly got hit by a car just so that xiao chen would be happy

Not to get back together, but for him to be happy

Im frigging soft dont touch me

Goddamn he came back

periodt

Oh wow

Lovers to enemies

Okay then

Please dont hurt him anymore than you already have

For both him and yourself

And me

It’s painful to watch

HE HAS A KID

I REPEAT

HE HAS

A

SACK OF GERMS

WITH HAIR

HOLDING HIS HAND

AND A FEMALE WIFE

HE IS LITERALLY A BOTTOM

Welp we stan a bicon i guess

Or just a man refusing to accept his sexuality

hE CAN WALK

YAYAYAYAYAYAY

Chills

Literal chills

Damn this is a good movie

This man has the audacity to drug my son

This is kinda uncomfy man idk how i feel about this

Omg wait he pulls him in

Okay consent?

Yes?

Oh what

Okay

“I’m not interested in you” he said

Well damn

The bottom energy radiating from this man is impeccable

I feel bad for the bathtub

I am so conflicted

Why couldn’t they just be happy uwu babies that share noodles in a cozy little apartment

Ughhhhhh i hate that i still have an attachment to lu feng even though i should hate him cuz he’s crazy and a kidnapper and he literally raped xiao chen

ON THE BOAT

REALLY

They’re in a pool now

Damn that ring has been going through a lot

HE LOOKS FOR IT

XIAO CHEN LOOKS FOR THE RING OH MY GOD

Idk what to believe now this is crazy

Omg he’s drowning

As the police arrive

Oh my god is this where he gets shot

Holy crap

Im literally crying so hard right now i can’t

This hug

This mf hug

WHAT DO I DO AKJLSKDFJ DO I SHIP IT OR DO I DISAPPROVE BECAUSE LIKE RAPE?

HELLO????

Idk lu feng was so messed up

OMG THE BROTHER SHOT IT

YI CHEN

SHOT

XIAO CHEN

OMG

But he was aiming for lu feng sdlfjalskdjfla

This movie

Oh my dear god

程亦辰，我错了，我爱你

OH MY FRIGGING GOD I DONT WANNA FORGIVE HIM BUT I HAVE TO

Wait no

I don’t forgive him

I just give him a second chance

Cuz he went through shit

But xiao chen went through more shit and dealt with it better cuz of his sort of “cowardly” and “content” personality sal;djflsadkjfas;lkd

The flashbacks of his past self

Man this hits hard

Oh my god he’s waking up while lu feng is abou to fricking die

Oh my god please dont die

He’s dead

He’s fricking dead

That ending

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT THERE IS NO HAPPY ENDING

WHY WOULD ASJFLSDKFJ:LDJSF WHAT THE HELL IM GOING TO DIE

IM CRYING

IM LITERALLY CRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY

His last words were xiao chen

Omg the cinematography in this movie was brilliant

All of the symbolism and all of the frigging flashbacks and back and forth and just everything.

Oh my god this was so so so so so sooooo good. I’m literally at a loss for words

Oh my fricking god

And when he was like reaching for lu feng at the end

Saying the there was a deeper feeling within the hate

I lost it

[familyagrestefanblog]

My notes to Ezras and Veronikas blind-reaction video

I’ve watched this video like at least 3 times today because honestly, Ezra is comedy gold and a whole ass mood. Also I wanted to get as much information out of their reactions as possible and at the same time try to figure out what episode we are dealing with here. My guess is “Kwami Buster” what do you think?

But now for my notes. Get something to eat and drink I’ve got 4 whole pages ^^

Ezra just dead ass comfirmed Mark + Nathanael as canon, nice!

episode starts in a location we’ve already been in s1 but rarely and we havent discovered it much so my guess is this:

The only time an akuma attack took place in there was in “Mr. Pigeon” and it rarely came up in other episodes.

a “her” is possibly up to something

a “she” (It didnt seem to be the same person) has alot to speak in this episode but normally doesnt speal much -> Ezra; she kinda does -> Veronika

A character has an ongoing theme, it happenes over and over (progression in the season/s). They dont know wjere the creators will go with it but Ezra theorizes it’ll be a massive sacifice. ( I think they are talking about Marinette here, who will maybe see something like Adrien and Kagami together and gets sad over it again. Since she will give up her love for him in s3 finale I find this more than likely). Also Veronika said first she cant imagine it being super sad and then mentioned Marinette slightly with “Like, Ladybug’s...” but then cuts off and agrees with Ezra that “it could be very sad” because Ezra said that he thinks itll be a massive Sacrifice because the show doesnt shy away from real emotions/feeling, espacially love and passion.

something new came up that teaches us about the term all of season 3 has been dealing with. We havent seen it yet, but its setting up why “they” happen. (No idea on this one)

something completely different and exciting came up (They are MARELING!) “Its beautiful!” “This is gorgeous!”. Never done before and something slightly origin story like (My bets are that this is a continuation of Master Fus backstory in “The collector” and its done kinda in the way of his painting like flashback pics

A “him” is in it and they are very excited about it (could be younger Fu but it could be anyone, really)

The voice actor whos telling the tale (another reason why I think its Fus backstory) is gonnabe very very busy

the whole sequence is going on for a while

Huge responsibility for Marinette (also another reason for the Backstory. I think this would be the episode he will start actually making Marinette a guradian of the Miraculous and therefore trusts her with even more of his backstory and what happened in the past

Veronika feels for a character alot of other people start to feel for too. She calls the person “missunderstood” (I think its Natahlie)

One story line Ezra knows very little about came up next and Veronika wonders if it will come up again “at the end of recordings” (so the Finale) (I thinks its the storyline of what happened to Emilie)

Very funny Adrien and Plagg moment that has alot of Fanart already -> its cute

right afterwards something “very different” happened and Ezra was SHOOK AF

A “hat thing” came up several times in the whole episode. Its gonna need a voice actor, its new to the story but not a character per se. “Its like a significant character in another characters being” (wtf??)

Once again something “very different” happened and Ezra is delighted and shook part 2

“look at its/his mouth” followed immediatly by a little conversation about hawkmoth winning and that it becomes more and more possible by every passing episode

“Sweet Plagg” Plagg either being normally cute or adorable or hes sweet and sensitive in a bad situation (ITs so THE laTER ONE YALL!!!)

SOMETHING HAPPENED! Ezra was so fucking SHOOK PART 3 that they repeated his high pitched “WHAT???!!?!??!?!?” three times!

Veronika: “How can they do that though! :D”

Ezra: “NOOOOOO WAY!!!!! (°ロ°) 

Veronika: “What are they gonna do? :D”

Ezra: “There he goes! D:”

She was smiling and so excited and he dead ass sat beside her this close to having a mental breakdown (like I said this glorious man was a whole ass mood this entire video)

It seems something so massive happened that Ezra yelled: “The series is over! How can we have a Series if THAT happened? We dont have a Series if THAT. JUST. HAPPENED!!!!”

The only thing massive enough to end the series is Hm getting the ultimate power in one way or another. (everything else from reveal to betrayal and death is just an obstical to overcome in the plot, but Hm getting the ultimate power is presented to us as instand game over!) And with the little context we got from them from just moments before it seems to actually fit?? WTF??? In the episode I’m trying to put together with the context here it seemes that through Kwami buster Hawkmoth has got both Plagg and Tikki and was able to power up through them without getting the ultimate power just yet because for that he needs the jewellery to channel the powers. So I guess now Hm would only need Lbs and Cns empty jewellery so he cant combine them and game over.

Both Veronika and Ezra are just seriously loosing it (but most of all him)

“look how giant it is!” “And much bigger!” implying that we say whatever they talk about smaller before (for some reason my mind immediatly went to the giant butterly Hawkmoth head in the “origins”)

They are confused about how something (important) works

Something is there that we have seen in another episode before (1 Episode? Not sure but it has to be something rarely seen) + they are confused by it

something hilarious happened

a new ship can be merged in this episode (Maybe Marinette and Adrien with other Miraculous’? Maybe this is where we’ll get Dragonbug and Snake Noir because at some point later in the episode they would have to get Tikki and Plagg back making DB and SN possible)

The puns (in english) are WILD

Someone is being very courageous

it seems to feel like a classic Ml episode but with so many new elements. Not something we’ve seen before and I believe them! :D)

Ezra screams Part 8 + “That thing is dangerous!”

“How are they gonna- (stop him/it/whatever?)” <- Veronika

“How are they gonna, THEY DONT HAVE A WAY!” <- Ezra

Ezra screams part 9

Ezra gets to do something in the episode and I dunno what

“Thats when that happpens??” -> Veronika

“He wants that!” -> Ezra

A character we have seen more of this season is in this episode too

they fucking CLAPPED saying “finally, yes!” but it seems to be about something commen because Veronika seems to do it every time she wrapps up an episode

Adriens fucking parfume ad on a bench and neither of them remeber the words (SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME)

Hawkmoth moment + hilarious Hawky impression by Ezra saying “Ladybug and Cat Noir”

Hm and probably Lb and Cn are inside it/something

There is a weird noise but is has a purpose

a thing is “hUngry”

Ezra and Veronika a little shook part 10

“Thats so sad! :D” -> Veronika (I fucking love that woman xD)

“Dont do it! D:” -> Ezra concerned af

But “he” wont do it. Veronika and Ezra are relieved

Both doing Cataclysm impressions

Ezra being our very own Ladybug and being very passionate about her catchphrase lines (”Miraculous LadybuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!!          (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ )

THEY POUND IT! :D

He asks her if she knows a character near the end (she does) so I’m taking from that that there is an important new character coming up in future

huge episode for 3 characters  

Ezra repeats, one plagg moment was adorable

SHOOK PART 11

“Thats a huge reveal!” <- Ezra. “Unless he takes it back or she refuses" (my bets are on Gabriel revealing himself to be Hawkmoth to Tomoe. The contract they made in the beginning of the season, their growing partnership and some of Tomoes words in “Ikari Gozen” make me highly suspicious for what the future holds. Her knowing him to be Hawkmoth and that their partnership turns out to be more twisted than we though wouldnt surprise me, if anthing i would be PUMPED for it!)

It’ll (probably)be a huge thing in s4

something happened that reminded Ezra of karate kid

someone is in a disguise and Veronika laughs

Cliffhanger that Ezra describs as “dark”

no classroom episode, no ther students. “This was like to the heart of the matter of the miraculous powers and hat they can do and finding out things that we have no idea they could do and it opens up the lens and shows you more of this world and how dark it CAN be!” <- Ezra

[prorevenge]

Guy annoys people on the bus, gets bamboozled

Before we start: English is not my native language, excuse any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.

So i was not realy sure if this story fits pro revenge (spoiler: there will be revenge for sure) but after having read some storys I think you might like this one.

This story took place about 3 or 4 years ago. At that time I was around the age of ~20. I always was a very introvert person and had a few panic attacks when beeing in very populated areas or having to deal with strangers (shitty childhood buf not part of this story). I am also a very slim/smal person, I don't have muscles at all and generally try to evade fights whenever possible. Keep that in mind for later.

So on that day I was on my way back home from my workplace. Since I had no car at that time (just finished my 3 year training period and got my final working contract) I took the bus home (about ~15 minutes which was nice).

Meet Tough Guy (TG from now on) who was sitting near the front of the bus (me beeing near the middle of the bus). TG looked like your avarage "i am looking for trouble" guy: Big muscles, small shirt, cappy on his shaved head and just the general aura of "if you look at me you are looking for trouble". To put it short: your average below 80 IQ idiot who most likely knows nothing and does nothing but pumping those muscles up.

TG was also doing his best to be as annoying as one could possible be: His dirty shoes (it was a rainy day) on the seats while eating a Burger from McDonalds - burger sauce dripping everywhere.

The Bus driver (a nice lady) told him multiple times to stop eating inside the bus and to put his feet down the chairs or else she would have to throw him out at the next bus stop. Of course TG had none of it. "Fuck no, I paid for the ticket, the fuck you wanna do?" - throw in some more insults and general bad behavior and you get a good picture of the situation.

Now, to be honest, I am a person who loves to laugh about the missery of other people (as long as they only hurt themself). I know that this is not the best character trait, but whatever.

While I thought that TG was a idiot I found it quite amusing (my bus stop was the next one anyway), but then the bus driver lady went into serious rage mode.

Bus driver lady: "I have talked with Headquarters. You have to leave the bus now. We will not drive ANY further before you have left the bus". TG: "Fuck noooooo, I paid for that ticket!".

This went on for a solid 5 minutes, all the way while the bus was standing at the bus stop (which was my station, but i wanted to see the end of their "discussion").

Suddenly, another woman who was quiet until now started talking: "E-E-Excuse me...I *have* to reach the train station by time to get my train - I have a very important meeting and i can not miss the bus." to which the Bus Driver Lady responded "I am sorry, nothing I can do. We will continue the tour as soon as Mr. TG has left the bus".

Of course knowing that another person was struggling because of his missbehaviour fired up Mr. TG even more, now beeing 100% certain that he will not leave the bus and they would have to call the cops to get him out.

At this point I got annoyed by TG, but i knew that i would mostz likely loose in a fight. Here in germany you can't expect to get help from other people (one thing that is much bette in america in my opinion, but thats another topic) so I had to think of a way to get that guy off the bus and to help the poor lady. So I stod up and told him in a very rude and loud manner: "Dude, you are fucking annoying everyone on this ride! Now get your stuff and leave the bus!" which triggered the exact reaction I was hoping for!

TG: "You looking for trouble? YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE!?!" Me: "Yeah" TG (with real excitement in his eyes, jumping up and down and doing some kind of warmup): "I WILL FUCK YOU UP YO! I WILL FUCK YOU UP" ME: "Yeah, lets clear this out of the bus, there is more room for a fight" while grabbing my bag and pretending to get ready to leave the bus.

TG, who was already hyped that he was going to get to beat the shit out of me (which he would clearly have done), jumped out of the bus in excitement.

...just as planed...

Right after he left the bus I moved my head to the bus driver lady (who had been watching the situation) and just noded to her, implying that she should close the door - which she did. TG, still outside the bus, realized his mistake and that he got fooled, but it was already to late. The door closed right in front of him, smashing his face against it. To be honest I have never seen someone so angry, you could see the veins on his head almost exploding. While he was shouting "I WILL KILL YOU" from the outside of the bus I just smiled at him and flipped the bird.

The other people on the bus (even the asshole cool kids that are always sitting at the backseats) bursted out in laughter, clapping and even applauding me.

I have never met that guy again - and I realy hope that I will never meet him.

Yes, the revenge was not as harsh as other stories on this Reddit, but I still wanted to share that story. Even if you are weak remember that you can still outsmart people - especially those kind of idiots.

(source) story by (/u/Kadji100)

[artificialqueens]

Thank You For Being A Friend (Biadore) - doctor bitchcraftt

AN: Inspired by the multi-faceted Bianca/Adore relationship we got a glimpse of on the ABCD tour. Regarding pronouns and names, Bianca has said that she refers to Adore as Adore first, because that’s how they know each other.

SUMMARY: In the midst of the ABCD tour, Bianca ends up with a sleepy Adore in her room. Cue realizations, cuddling, and Adore disrupting Bianca’s sense of order.

“I’m a mermaid!” Adore sprawled over the foot of the bed, tipsy and loose-limbed.  “Yanx, you turned me into an actual mermaid!”

Bianca looked up from her phone, using a sock-clad foot to gently keep Adore from falling off the bed.  “You had to feel your fantasy.”

Adore managed to roll onto her stomach, still in full face and riding the high of a successful show.    She crawled towards the headboard, giving up halfway and collapsing over Bianca’s crossed legs and nearly dropping her own phone in the process.  “I love this.”

“The dress, the tour, or the UK? 

Grinning at Bianca upside down, Adore shook her head lazily.  “Noooooo, I meant just hanging out with you.”

Bianca didn’t bother to suppress the indulgent smile tugging at her lips.  She leaned back on the headboard, setting the phone on the nightstand and stretching.  

“You should take your face off, chola, before you fall asleep.”  Bianca tried to shift Adore off her legs so she could get to the makeup wipes on the counter.  She couldn’t quite reach without moving from the bed, but six feet of mermaid twined around her legs like an octopus.

“I don’t wanna get up.  Room’s too far away.  Can I sleep here?”  She punctuated the question with a yawn, rubbing her eyes and smearing streaks of teal and black across her face.  Adore pushed herself up on one elbow, lost her balance, and flopped onto her back.

Bianca took the opportunity to slide out from under her, grabbing what she needed from the bathroom along with a bottle of water for the nightstand.  “I don’t even know why they book you your own room,” she answered, surveying the space.  

Adore’s suitcase was open on the coffee table, drag spilling out of it and across the couch.  The sequined mini dresses and thigh high boots mixed together were a sharp contrast to Bianca’s neatly labelled zippered bags.  Between last minute costume adjustments, Adore wanting to show Bianca every look, and the ABCD defaulting to Bianca’s room as a meeting point, she never quite made it to her own suite 

“S’in case I bring someone hot back,” she announced with what was probably supposed to be a leer, but the effect was ruined by another yawn.

Bianca rolled her eyes.  “And how are you already tired?  It’s not even late.”

“B’cause sleeping on the bus sucks,” Adore half-heartedly swiped her makeup off by feel and dropped the used wipes onto the floor.  “Bed’s too small.”

“You know, you have a perfectly good room with a giant empty bed now.”  Bianca spoke around her toothbrush, rinsing her mouth and flicking off the lights in the room.

“You’re kicking me out?” Adore tried to sit up and gave in after the third failed attempt, yawning hugely.  She turned her best wounded expression towards the direction of Bianca’s voice.

Bianca sighed and dropped her glasses on the nightstand.  “Course not, you know that.  At least take your shoes off, if you’re going to sleep here.”

Two thumps followed as Adore kicked her boots off, accompanied by the clunk of her phone being tossed onto the nightstand.  “You’re the best, B.”  T-shirt and shorts were flung haphazardly towards an empty spot on the dresser, missing and landing half on Bianca’s clean clothes instead.

Shaking her head in mock exasperation, Bianca checked that her phone was plugged in to charge and the alarm set for an ungodly early hour.  She pulled the covers back and heaved Adore’s legs out of the way.  “You look more like a starfish than a mermaid.  Get in the bed and give me some room, or I’m dumping you on the floor.”  

It was an empty threat and they both knew it. Adore whined in protest, but moved from the center of the bed to one side.  Bianca stacked the pillows and laid down, reaching up to turn off the lamp.  “Goodnight, chola.”

“Night, B.”

She settled into the pillows and pulled the covers up, listening to the sounds of Adore moving on her side before falling still.  After a few minutes, the fidgeting started up again, and she felt the covers shift around.  The cycle repeated, until finally, “B?  You asleep?”

“Yes.“ 

“B,” She could hear the hesitation in Adore’s voice, and rolled onto her side to face her.

“Yeah?” 

“I like your room ‘cause it’s not lonely.”

Bianca had to admit that made a certain amount of sense, and Adore-logic wasn’t always so straightforward.  “You could always ask Courtney or Darienne to stay with you,” she teased, more gently than any of her audiences would believe possible. 

“S’not the same.  Courtney smells like that daisy air freshener and Darienne snores.”  Bianca snorted at that, which while true, would only have been said so honestly by Adore. 

While she was talking, Adore moved closer to the middle of the bed.  Wordlessly, Bianca lifted the covers up and Adore scooted the rest of the way across until she was right next to her.  “You don’t think it’s bad that I want to cuddle,” she muttered.  “S’fine when we’re awake, but it’s weird to ask them to sleep.”

Bianca tucked Adore’s head against her chest, chin resting on messy hair that really needed a shower.  It made a certain amount of sense - while the four of them shared personal space easily, Adore thrived on touch.  That was part of the reason Bianca found herself holding hands with her on stage, even with Adore’s gloves. 

She hadn’t been exaggerating in their season when she told Ru that the competition had broken down the barriers she’d built around herself over the years.  Sarcasm and biting wit were strong defenses, but they didn’t leave a lot of room for getting close to other queens, especially in a competition.

Bianca’s first love was always creation, and drag became her business.  Between work in the costume shop and comedy in high heels, her life was full and busy.  She hadn’t realized until that workroom how lonely it could also be.

Adore had thrown herself headfirst into those walls, first prickling with her comment about not wanting to work with Bianca.  It’s every clown for their fucking selves, she remembered saying in a confessional.  Bianca could have left Adore to flounder in the sewing challenge, or to face Michelle’s critiques of her figure.  She could have, and some argued should have, just to eliminate another competitor.   But she could respect Adore’s unconventional style, had come to enjoy the sense of fun and fresh perspective.  Seeing that vulnerability behind the torn fishnets and messy hair pulled down more bricks in her wall of self-defense.

She hadn’t expected to make friends on Drag Race, and couldn’t have ever imagined what Adore brought to her life.  Adore loved to play up their quasi-parent/child relationship to the delight of her masses of teenage fans, pointed out her age at every occasion, and merrily created a whirlwind of chaos wherever she went.  Bianca would never admit it, but sometimes she thought she had plenty to learn from Adore in return.

The mermaid in question had fallen asleep while she was thinking, one hand under the pillow and the other arm folded between their bodies.  Bianca made a mental note to toss her in the shower first thing in the morning, before shifting into a comfortable position that wouldn’t end up with a knee anywhere painful during the night.

“Not a bad thing at all,” he whispered.

“There’s an old saying, that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. For me, it wasn’t going through the competition with an adolescent charm, with a fabulous body and beauty, or going through it with great lip sync talents. I had dresses, I had hair, and a guard. I had built up this wall and this experience has changed me and I didn’t expect it to be this magical, or this inspiring, but it is.  I went through a self discovery, accepting that I wasn't such a bad bitch. And I thank all of you, honestly, from the bottom of my chilly little heart. Thanks."   -Bianca Del Rio, Season 6, Episode 12

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Lost and Grounded

Picking up your phone you saw it was Happy. "Hey Baby whats up"? You asked as you took a bite from you sandwich "I lost Kobi". You spat out you food. "What the fuck are you talking about Happy". Panicked and scared you grabbed your keys. "We were playng hind n seek while I worked". "He's seven he cant be to far". Happy said calmly. "I'm coming now, you find my son Happy Lowman". You rushed out the door straight to your car. On the way you looked left and right making sure you didnt see him walking. Your heart was about to jump out of your heart. Just the thought of not seeing him made you cry. Pulling up you saw all the guys looking around. "Y/N I'm sorry". "You can say it after you find him, I cant believe you lost my son". Tears strimming down your face. "He's my son too and he can take care of himself if needed".  You rolled your eyes Every nook and cranny was searched. Still no Kobi. You felt sick on your stomach. "I dont know where else to look Y/N". Happy threw up his arms. "Did you check all the room, bathrooms, cars, undertables, under the bar, chairs, couch or the closets"? You rambled out. "Everything but the cars". Happy ran off. All the guys and you looked frantically in all the cars. In a bright red truck was Kobi sleeping in the bed. "Y/N hes right here". Happy yelled. "Oh Thank God". You ran over. Looking inside Kobi woke up looking around."Whats wrong"? Rubbing the sleep out his eyes. "Shit boy we've been looking for you for hours, didnt you hear us". Happy picked him up "Sorry Daddy". "Kobi I'm so glad your safe". You cried out. "Dont cry Mommy, I'm okay". "I know, I was just worried". "You scared us so much". "Kobi you cant be doing that". Happy said getting angry "Its not his fault, you should have been watching him than working". "I gotta make money for yall". "You could have waited until I picked him up". "Yeah so I can hear your mouth when I get home for being late". The two of you went back and forth with whys and what if's. Everyone looking on. "Do you think we should leave and get popcorn or just walk away slowly". Juice asked quitly "I think we should take Kobi and go inside before something happens that he doesnt need to see". Chibs picked up Kobi and ran inside with the guys "Happy your so irresponsible when it comes to him". "You think hes just one of the guys". "Hes not". "He needs to man up, your making him into a pussy". "At least I love on him and show him affection'. "I love that kid more than anything and if your saying that I dont". Happy balled his fist. "Do it then, if its going to make you a man". "I wished...". "What Happy what"? "Nothing". Happy walked back inside the garage You walked to your car. You were so pissed at Happy. Tears staining your cheeks. You looked Happys way. He was wiping a tear away. I really hurt him. Not wanting to bother him, you knew you had to fix this. "Hap, I'm sorry for everything I said". "I didnt mean it". Crying out. "No I'm the one that should be sorry, I should have watched him better". "I'm a shit parent". He said hugging you. "No you're not, you were just busy it happens". "I shouldnt have gotten so mad at you". "You had the right to be mad, I lost our son". "You didnt loose him he was just not listening". "Wait a mintue, he should be getting yelled at for doing this" You sniffled "I did yell at him but you got on to me". "I'm sorry about that". "I'm sorry about that last thing I said to you, I didnt mean it and I'm sorry for balling my fist". "What were you going to say". "You wished what"? You wiped your nose. "That I never gotten you pregnant and that I never married you". He said sadly "Oh" You were speechless. "I didnt mean it, you and Kobi are the best things that ever happen to me and I wouldnt change a damn thing". "I love the both of you so much that I hate that we fight". "Hap we are going to fight and I know I can be unreasonable". "We just have to work it out like we are doing now". "I know you love him and I'm sorry that I said you didnt".   "Can you forgive me"? You asked "Can you forgive me"? "Yes". "Me too". He kissed you deeply. "Lets go see this son of ours". You walked in the club house hand in hand. All eyes on yall. "Yall good"? Chibs asked "Yeah we're great never better". Happy looked down at you. "Thats good". "I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy, I shouldnt have fell asleep and..." "What was the other thing I was suppose to say". Kobi asked Juice and Chibs "Not listening and getting in a car you didnt know". They both said Happy and you busted out laughing. "You are grounded for four days and no games with Uncle Juice for two weeks". You said "AHH Mom come on, thats crazy". Kobi pouted "Whats crazy is that you had Chibs and Juice say sorry for you, you couldnt even say it yourself". Happy shook his head. "Please Dad Please Mom I'm sorry". "Thats more like it". You laughed. "Okay Two days grounded and two weeks with no gaming". "I'd rather be grounded for life than two weeks with out no gaming". You looked at Happy and he nodded."Okay grounded for life. "Yes". Kobi jumped up and down. "Hey Juice,two weeks no gaming with Kobi for helping him suck up". Happy said "What the heck Daddy, NOOOOOO". Kobi yelled "AH come on man, Y/N"/ Juice huffed. Happy, Chibs and you laughed at Kobi and Juice sulking and whining. It was great being back with Happy and everything being back to normal. Kobi never stopped listening to Happy and you from that day on. He knew everything. Not a good thing for a seven year old with a big mouth.

[blatherkatt]

Title: The Calm Is Terrifying When The Storm Is All You Know [Homestuck]

Chapter 8: Negotiations 

Summary: There were two kinds of trolls who went to Earth: rich shitheads with too much money and free time, and desperate assholes who couldn’t survive on Alternia, even with the best efforts of the young Condesce. Karkat hated the planet almost immediately, but with his home planet too dangerous for mutants, he really didn’t have any choice but to hide out on this weird little diurnal planet. At least he’d be safe. Or so he thought, right before blundering his way into an accidental friendship with the son of an anti-troll terrorist.

Rating: M

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of neglect and abuse, mentions of terrorism, actions of highly questionable legality 

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Terezi’s apartment was a disaster of impressively clashing colors, but the horrendous color scheme aside, it had a definite comfortable feel to it. Pyralspite immediately pushed inside and curled herself up in a bed tucked into a small indent in the wall and looked in Terezi’s direction expectantly. Terezi chattered at the dragon in Alternian, and while Dirk couldn’t parse the words at all, he easily recognized the tone; it was the same way his mother spoke when fussing at Rose’s cat.  Terezi left her cane against the wall by the door, apparently not needing it in her own home, and fetched a jar of…something Dirk couldn’t identify and didn’t want to. She took out a couple pieces of whatever was inside and fed them to Pyralspite.

She looked up at Karkat and Dirk as she did this. “I’d say you two will have to figure out who gets the couch and who sleeps on the floor,” she said, “But Karkat basically never sleeps, so that’s a pretty easy call to make.”

“Fuck off,” said Karkat. Terezi waved a hand at him dismissively.

“Anyway,” she said, “Ablution block’s just over that-away, Karkat. You haven’t been able to change your clothes for, what, a week? And I doubt you’ve had a chance to get cleaned up in that time, either, so you go right ahead, you got first dibs.” Karkat shot her a grateful look (not that she would know, but, well.) and scuttled off. “As for me,” Terezi said, heading for what Dirk assumed was her bedroom, “I’m gonna get the fuck out of my uniform.”

“Before you do,” Dirk said, “Could you maybe give me the Wifi password? Promised Mom and Rose I’d Skype them soon as I could.”

“It’s on the side of the fridge,” Terezi said, disappearing into her room.

A few minutes later saw Dirk on Terezi’s balcony (the view from which was hilariously terrible, but the air was clearer than in most parts of the city, at least).  Settling himself into a chair with his laptop settled on his legs, Dirk sent the call out to both his sister and his cousin. Roxy answered the Skype call almost immediately, which wasn’t exceptionally surprising. Her face popped up on Dirk’s laptop screen, and she held up a hand to him, tapping away at her phone.

“Hold on a sec,” she said. “I’ve been filling in Rose and Aunt Ray about what you told me, they’re up to date, Rose is getting her computer out.”

“That’s fine, there’s no hurry,” Dirk said. Roxy looked up from her phone at the sound of his voice.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” she said. “You sound even more fuckin’ exhausted than you did earlier!”

“Yeah,” Dirk sighed. “Been a hell of a day, Rox.”

Roxy made a sympathetic (if overexagerated) frown, just as the second Skype window clicked open. Dirk could see Rose still rushing to set up her laptop, and hear his mother’s frantic voice. Soon as the laptop was stabilized and both women were in view, Mom nudged Rose slightly out of the way, her hands shaking.

“Dave, where’s Dave? Roxy — Roxy said he was safe, is he —??” Mom said, her words slurred together despite her clear agitation. Rose flicked her a disdainful look, but centered her eyes on Dirk as well.

“Dave isn’t here, I’m at Terezi’s place, but Dave is in police custody. He is safe, yeah,” Dirk said. Mom let out a sob, earning another brief glare from Rose, who then leaned in closer to the screen.

“Well, gee, don’t get too excited,” Rose said, staring Dirk down hard. “You don’t sound too happy about it.”

“No, I’m glad, I am,” Dirk said. “I mean, fuck, at least he’s away from…It’s just.” He sighed, rested his face in a hand for a moment. “Kid won’t fuckin’ talk to us,” he said. “And some of Terezi’s superiors are making a big fuckin’ fuss over it. Kid thinks we’re gonna let the old man take him back. He just…completely shut down on me when I tried to convince him otherwise.”

“So Derek’s still loose?” Mom whined.

“…Yeah,” said Dirk. “Plan completely fucking failed. He was onto us from the start. Only reason we got Dave at all is because Terezi found him, somehow. I still don’t have the details on it, but I think some old friend of hers is involved? Sounded like she didn’t even realize it was Dave until she’d already caught him.”

“Hm,” said Rose, just a bit too smugly for Dirk’s liking. He let it slide. Too tired to deal with her right now. “I’m still not sure why you thought to call Roxy before Mom and I,” Rose continued. “Especially after I asked you to call us as soon as you could?”

Dirk groaned.  “I was a little caught off guard when I first saw Dave, okay?” he said. “I didn’t have a lot of warning beforehand. You can’t just show a guy his baby brother after ten years and expect him to be completely composed. Called Roxy to help collect my thoughts before trying to talk to him, is all.”

“How is he?” Roxy and Mom said in unison.

“Hes…Ugh,” Dirk groaned. “Not good. He looks fucking awful, God.” Mom put her hands over her mouth, the waterworks threatening to start up in full force. No point in sugar coating things, though, she’d see him herself soon enough. “He’s…probably pretty underweight, had a black eye and an awful looking scar on his cheek. Probably hasn’t had a proper night’s rest in ages, judging by the circles under his eyes, and…He’s gotta be half out of his mind with anxiety. Kept acting like the old man was gonna spontaneously appear right behind him.”

Mom sniffled. Yep, there it was, the infamous Rachel Lalonde Booze-Fueled Waterpark is now open for business, complete with an extra set of Rose Lalonde’s patented Generalized Annoyance. Roxy, at least, wasn’t crying, but she certainly looked worried.

“It’s a good thing we’re getting him home, then,” Rose said, patting Mom’s arm. “We’ll be able to give him some rest and some peace of mind, for once.”

Dirk sighed again. “Well, there’s where the bad news comes in.”

“Fuck,” muttered Roxy.

“Like I said, Terezi’s higher ups are being a bunch of obstinate jackasses about Dave acting as a witness, and he’s refusing to talk to anyone. I mean. He talks, sure, it’s still Dave. But he won’t say anything about the old man, or anything vaguely related to him. He doesn’t want to come to New York, either. Got no idea why, there’s nothing for him here in Texas, but he’s determined to be difficult.”

“What — what does that mean for us, then?” Mom whimpered.

“He’s still coming home,” Dirk said. “I—we put too much fucking work into finding him to not bring him home. One way or another, he’s coming back with me, I can promise that much. But it might be a few more days. On top of that, too, Terezi mentioned that he might be basically under house arrest for a while.”

“Oh, noooooo,” said Roxy. “Does that mean I’m not gonna be able to come and hug on him? Fuck!”

“Probably not right away,” Dirk said. “Sorry, Rox. I’ll try and see if we can’t get something in place so you can come and see him ASAP, but. Yeah. He’s too much of a flight risk, right now. Old man’s got him brainwashed, or something. The kid thinks he has to stay with him.”

“My poor baby,” Mom whispered, “Oh, ohhh, my poor baby —”

“I’m sure he’ll get better once he’s settled back in here,” Rose said. “We’ll just have to help him unlearn whatever Father’s forced onto him, give him some time to adjust. I’m sure he’ll come around.”

“Yeah,” Dirk said, softly. “Anyway, um, that’s the situation out here. Can you two clean his room out? Get the house ready for him? I’ll let you know as soon as I do when he’s gonna be back, and how this is going to play out.”

Mom nodded emphatically, and Rose responded with a quiet “of course.”

“God, you better keep me updated, too, okay Dirk?” said Roxy. “I wanna know when I can come and love on the poor kid! God damn, sounds like he needs it.”

“Sure thing, Rox.”

“And get some sleep, you big dummy, you look like a wreck.”

Dirk snorted. “You’re not my real mom,” he said, earning a laugh from, well, his real mom. “Alright, I gotta eat and take a shower, I’ll talk to you all same time tomorrow,” he promised. He could hear Terezi scuffling about in the kitchenette again, and he hoped that she had something in it suitable for human consumption. Goodbyes and goodnights were shared, and the webcams clicked off. Dirk groaned softly, rubbed his eyes with both hands, and stared out at what little of the horizon was visible from Terezi’s balcony.

“What do you want with Dave,” said a scratchy voice to Dirk’s side. He looked up. Karkat was standing there, arms folded, a towel draped over the top of his head.

“Not sure I get what you mean,” Dirk said. “There’s nothing we particularly want him to do, if that’s what you’re asking. Just want him back home where he belongs.”

The troll scowled. “Yeah, because he’s family, right?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Fuck off,” Karkat spat. “I’ve had enough of this human ‘family’ bullshit. If you think I’m just going to stand idly by and let you ship him off to another torment-center he’s somehow obligated to stay in due to your weird human bullshit, then you’re the most pan-addled sack of shit I’ve ever met.”

“While I wouldn’t exactly describe ours as the ideal home environment,” Dirk said, “It’s only a ‘torment-center’ when Rose has to bathe the cat, I assure you. That sound could get an entire legion of war prisoners talking in a hurry. Outside of that rare occurrence, though, I fail to see what you’re so worked up about.”

“Worked up? Oh, I haven’t even gotten started, don’t you fucking worry,” Karkat said. “Dave’s had more than enough Striderian bullshit for one lifetime - hell, I’ve had more than enough of that shit for one lifetime, and I was only there a few fucking days! I’m not about to let him get dragged back into that fucking hellscape, and I’ll fight anyone who fucking tries, including you.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Karkat,” Terezi’s voice said, floating onto the balcony from inside.

“I’m who to the what, now?”

“It means ‘you’re trying to have an argument with someone who already agrees with you,’” Dirk said.

“I heard what you said before,” Karkat hissed. “Dave doesn’t want to go with you! I trust him way fucking more than I trust you —”

“That’s cool and all,” came Terezi’s voice again, “But Dave’s judgement is not exceptionally trustworthy right now.”

“Terezi, this is a private conversation, and I would appreciate it if you would —”

“Private? Karkat, Rose can hear you in New York.” Terezi strolled onto the balcony and leaned against the railing, some sort of microwave dinner in hand. “Speaking of which, Dave’s only against going to New York because he’s got it in his head that doing so is somehow going to get him in trouble with Strider. Which is a stupid reason, so he’s going. Plus, legally, he does have to go.”

“Wh-why?!” Karkat said.

“He’s a minor,” Terezi said. “Which means, legally, he’s still a kid, and that an adult has to be taking care of him. And that adult is his legal guardian. Dave’s legal guardian is his mother, and she lives in New York.”

“So…so he’s —”

“We can arrange a visit if you’re worried about not seeing your pale crush again,” Terezi said with a devious grin.

“STOP SAYING I HAVE A FUCKING PALE CRUSH,” Karkat barked.

“Um,” said Dirk. He had no idea how a crush could be ‘pale,’ but it was still his brother they were talking about, and, well.

“I don’t!” Karkat said, as Terezi started cackling. “I’m just — He went out of his way to protect me from his monster of a guardian, and I — I get it, okay? Terezi, shut the fuck up, oh my God, shut up!”

“Get what, exactly?” Dirk asked, resting his chin on one hand.

“I get — I get why he’s scared,” Karkat said.

“Because you’re super fucking pale for him —”

“No,” said Karkat, “because he’s a scared fucking kid in over his head, and you’re asking to drag him away from everything he’s ever known, and even though things have been bad for him now, at least he sort of…new what to expect? Whereas now, he’s got nothing! You’re forcing him, against his will, to go to some place that’s completely fucking different from all he’s ever known, and he has no choice, no say in the matter, and it’s fucking scary! Sound a little familiar, Terezi?!”

Terezi laughed again. “Whatever, Karkat,” she said.

“He’s exactly the same as —”

“Yes, Karkat, I got that,” said Terezi. “It’s super adorable that you care so much, but, hey, guess what else is the same about your situations?” Dirk raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. So, Terezi’s friend was an Alternian refugee, then? It certainly sounded like that’s what he was implying. Dirk wondered why he’d had to leave, but figured it wasn’t really his business.  

“What,” said Karkat.

“The place that the people who fucking care about you are dragging you off to is objectively better than the one you’ve been in.”

“Oh, sure,” Karkat said, rolling his eyes. “Earth’s so safe, I got abducted by a fucking terrorist in my first month here. And I just love how we have to be awake when the fucking sun is up, beating down on us like the ugliest lightbulb the universe ever spat out. Yeah, this place is sooo much better than Alternia.”

“Karkat, do you have to be so melodramatic all the time?” Terezi said. “I didn’t say it was perfect, just better. You’re still alive, aren’t you? The answer is yes, close your fucking mouth, smartass. And, likewise, the Lalonde family is pretty much a chaotic whirlwind of clashing personalities and is barely functional as a unit —”

Dirk snorted. He wasn’t even going to attempt to deny that.

“—But it’s still a fucking better place to be than wherever Strider is,” Terezi continued. “It’s quiet, and the people who live there all really fucking love Dave.”

“Why do you want him back so badly?!” Karkat said, turning on Dirk. “Just answer that question for me, okay? Why. What’s so important about him.”

Dirk wasn’t sure he could put it into words, but he could feel about a million and one answers for that question. It was in every memory of an infectious six-year-old’s laugh; it was in every recollection of scared red eyes asking to crawl into bed with Dirk after a nightmare, when Mom wouldn’t wake up from one of her infamous booze snoozes; it was in every fossil or drawing Dave had once excitedly babbled at Dirk over.

Most especially, though, there was the great empty hole in the house without him there. The rift that had opened up in all of them the night Dave was taken, and had never stopped aching since. The great abyss that had driven them apart and forced them together, had tormented Dirk late at night with insomnia and the darkest of whispering thoughts, had pushed Rose to pick fights with her classmates and her brother, had given Mom one more thing to constantly be miserable about in her undeservedly shitty life.  

“He’s my brother,” Dirk said.

Karkat snorted. “‘He’s family,’” he said, his voice mocking. “You sound just fucking like him, you know that? Like it’s your fucking excuse for everything.”

“It’s not the same,” Dirk said, feeling tension creep into his voice and trying to will it away. Stay cool, stay calm.

“Woah, hey,” Terezi said, “Karkat, you need to calm the fuck down.”

“What’s so different about it, then?” Karkat said, ignoring her. “Fucking enlighten me! Why should I be okay with him being shipped off with you? How do I know you’re not just going to put him through the same bullshit with a different coat of paint?”

Dirk narrowed his eyes and tried to swallow the fury and self-loathing that sprang up. He knew, of course; he was hyper aware that, of the three siblings, he took off after his father the most. In his lowest moments, he worried that he had the potential to wind up just like the old man. Didn’t mean he was going to stand by and let a total stranger accuse him of being anything like the bastard.

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” he said, as calmly as he could. “He’s my little brother, and it’s none of your fucking business.”

“Oooookay,” Terezi said, physically putting herself between the two, “Calm down, here, holy shit. If you start a fight up here my landlord’s gonna pitch a fit. Karkat, I promise you, Dirk’s kind of awful at showing it, but he does actually care about Dave’s wellbeing at least as much as you do. Dirk, you need to chill the fuck out, too. You both want what’s best for Dave, so for fuck’s sakes, stop fighting.”

Karkat scowled, and stomped back into Terezi’s apartment, muttering darkly. Dirk flicked his eyes toward Terezi.

“Nice friend you got there,” Dirk deadpanned.

Terezi groaned. “He does this sort of thing all the time,” she said. “He cares a lot about pretty much everything he cares about at all, and he makes everything so fucking personal.”

“Speaking of,” Dirk said. “Should I be concerned about that ‘pale crush’ thing, or…?”

“I’m mostly just teasing him about that,” Terezi said. “Karkat gets a little pale with everyone he cares about, whether he means to or not. Comes with the whole he-cares-about-things-a-lot deal. I dunno if it’s an actual pale crush, but with how Karkat’s acting it actually might be this time. Granted, Dave’s kinda pitybait anyway, but, still, this is getting ridiculous, even for Karkat.”

“Okay,” said Dirk. “I’m gonna need you to start defining some terms, here, so I know how mad I should be about that ‘pitybait’ comment.”

“It means he’s kinda pathetic and really easy to feel sorry for,” Terezi said. “Which, he is.”

“So, the pale crush is…feeling bad for Dave?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but, basically, yeah,” she said. “It’s a troll thing, I’m too fucking tired to try and explain it right now, but I can promise you he does genuinely just want to make sure Dave’s safe.”

“Right,” said Dirk.

“Anyway, I am going the fuck to sleep,” Terezi announced. “It’s been a long day, and tomorrow’s not looking any shorter. There’s food in the fridge that you can heat up in the microwave, or if there’s nothing you want, there’s a corner store real close. Take Py with you if you go down, though, I still don’t want either of you fucks out without someone keeping an eye on you. Don’t kill each other overnight, or I swear to fuck I will prosecute whichever one of you survives into fucking oblivion.”

“Thanks,” said Dirk. He didn’t dare say as much to Terezi, but, despite how exhausted he felt, he didn’t expect that he’d be getting much sleep tonight, either.

Terezi had been right about being busy the next day, it turned out; Karkat was left pretty much to his own devices in that little room from the day before while she saw to whatever the fuck she was doing. Sollux came by whenever he was on a break and kept Karkat updated throughout the day, not that there was much to be updated on — no progress was being made today, either, apparently. Karkat tried to focus on the book he’d brought along to read, but…

Okay, so. He didn’t like the idea of Dave being shipped off against his will to some unknown place. But. It was apparently happening regardless, and…it would be for the best if Dave would say at least a little bit of what he knew, because anything resulting in Strider getting taken down could only be a net positive.

The next time Terezi came into the room, Karkat suggested going in and talking to Dave himself. It made sense, Dave had talked to him plenty while they were in the apartment, and maybe he’d be less hostile toward someone who wasn’t with the police. She’d very quickly shot him down, but about twenty minutes later, she stormed in again and said he was welcome to try.

“Be my fucking guest,” she said, tense and irritated, “You certainly can’t make it any worse, and we’re already bending a ton of fucking rules for this shit. Best of luck to you.” She’d given Karkat a sheet of paper with some questions on it, and guided him roughly over to a different part of the police station.

The room they had Dave was in was…intimidating as all hell. White, undecorated walls, a file cabinet shoved into the corner, a table in the middle with two chairs, and a big mirror up on the wall - worryingly boring and plain. Dave was fidgeting restlessly in one of the chairs, and Karkat could see that his hands were still cuffed together. Dave glanced up as Karkat entered, and blinked in surprise.

(Holy fuck, his eyes were bright red, Karkat had not been expecting that. The same red of Karkat’s own blood, shit, they really did have a weird amount in common.)

“They desperate enough to send you in, now?” Dave said.

“Well, someone’s gotta cut through the impenetrable wall of utter garbage that spills out of your mouth,” Karkat said, “and at this point, I’m pretty much the fucking expert.”

“Ha,” Dave said, staring at his hands. Karkat pulled out the chair across from Dave and sat down, dumping the paper he’d been given to the side carelessly.

“…What’s that?” Dave said, flicking his eyes at the page.

“A bunch of questions Terezi wanted me to ask. I wanted to just…talk for a bit, first, though.”

“I’m not answering any —”

“Yeah, I heard,” Karkat said. “I get it, though. I do. This whole thing is a huge fucking mess, and you really don’t deserve any of this, and I can’t say I like it much, either, but from the sound of things, you’re gonna wind up in this New York place one way or another.”

Dave huffed.

“And that fucking sucks,” Karkat continued. That earned a surprised look from Dave (he really was so much easier to read without the shades, holy shit). “And you don’t wanna go, and I get that, okay? It’s total hoofbeastshit, it sucks really fucking hard, and I’m sorry.”

“I…yeah,” said Dave. “Yeah, it really fuckin’ does.”

“Frankly, I’m not sure I like that they’re sending you there,” Karkat said. “I mean, they’re all so sure that it’s gonna be this great experience or what the fuck ever, but…ugh. Terezi says there’s legal shit involved, so.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dave shrugged. “Bro’s not exactly on the law’s good side right now, so. And I mean, it’s not like I’m against the idea of seeing Rose again, I miss her like hell, but. New York’s a long goddamn way away, you know? And I barely remember it at all, and, fuck, Br — It’s a long damn way, I guess.”

Karkat decided to ignore what was no doubt another restatement of the general sentiment of ‘Bro will kill me,’ as that hoofbeast had not only died, but had been pounded so thoroughly as to now be naught but dust in the breeze.  “Yeah, well,” he said, “Maybe it won’t be so bad? I mean, fuck, I can’t say I’m super fond of Earth, but having friends here has made it a lot less shitty. Maybe it’ll be alright, especially if there’s people there you’d like to see. And, fuck, maybe we’ll be able to keep in touch, or something.”

Dave snorted softly. “You wanna keep in touch? Dude, I fuckin’ kidnapped you.”

“It’s not my fault you’re weirdly easy to talk to, you endless blustering windbag,” Karkat said. “And, fuck, call me sentimental or whatever, but I…I do want to make sure you’re okay, in the long run. You did kind of risk your ass to keep me safe.”

“Shit, man, if anyone owes anyone, I owe you, dude, I’m the idiot who got seen.”

“Yeah, and guess what: I’m the idiot who saw you and decided to follow you into a dimly lit hallway right after learning a fucking terrorist had been seen in the area. How about we just agree that we were both equally idiotic on the day in question and cut this insipid argument short before it bores us both to tears, okay?”

“…Yeah, whatever,” Dave shrugged. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling for a long moment.

“…New York, huh,” he said quietly. Dave was silent another long moment. Then, “Ugh, okay, whatever, let’s just get this over with.”

“What?”

“The fuckin…questions, or whatever. I’m…I can’t answer everything, I’m not riskin’ my hide spillin’ everything, but…bare minimum, whatever it takes to get this show over with.” Dave groaned. “Fuck, if Bro ever finds out I —”

“You’re the one who keeps saying he’d never actually kill you, and anyway, the point is to get you far enough away that he can’t come after you. And before you start that ‘abandoning’ him bullshit, here’s a thought: shut the fuck up.”  Karkat picked up the paper and skimmed it. “I think Terezi pulled some sorta compromise out of her ass, too, because these mostly look like they’re just confirming your identity, so.”

He cleared his throat and glanced behind him at the mirror. “Wait, shit, do I need to write this down, or —”

“I’m pretty sure someone’s behind the mirror listening to this whole conversation, dude,” Dave said. “They’re probably recording everything we’re saying, or something.”

The whole conversation? Well, shit, that was embarrassing. “Fuck.”

An hour or so later, after Karkat had finished talking to Dave and had been herded back into the small meeting room, Kanaya arrived. She said that she would have come earlier, but had been stuck at work for a while. They’d barely had any time to catch up, though, when Karkat could hear Terezi yelling outside in the hall.

“I swear to FUCK, I will personally track down those assholes and —” the door clicked open, and Terezi was briefly silhouetted, her head turned toward some poor unseen soul, “No, I don’t give a fuck, this is an awful idea! Who the hell is in charge? What happened to the precious fucking protocol?!  No, I’m telling him, but you better fucking believe I don’t goddamn approve! This is horseshit!” She slammed the door closed behind her, and audibly groaned. “For fuck’s sake,” she said. “Times like this I really wish Earth worked more like Alternia. I would really love to be able to fucking kill the bastards in charge of this case, take their position and do this shit properly, but no, that would be ‘murder’ and is ‘frowned upon in all fifty states,’ blah blah fucking blah. Ugh!”

“Is there more trouble?” Kanaya asked.

“I thought everything was supposed to be fine now,” Karkat said. “He talked, it’s over with, he can go to fucking New York and everyone’s happy.”

“He talked to you, yeah,” Terezi said. “So now, the oh-so-wise powers that be have decided to ‘kill two featherbeasts with one stone,’ as it were, and send you up to New York, too. Since we need to put you somewhere safe, anyway, and you’re the one who got him to cooperate a little. Nevermind that it’s a fucking horrible idea, for a huge fucking number of reasons — Hey, Dirk, good timing,” she said, as the door briefly opened and closed again. “Did you hear what they’re fucking proposing?”

“Yeah,” said Dirk, staying farther away, his expression blank. “I mean. We’ve got two guest rooms, and some pretty damn comfortable couches on top of that, we could certainly house anyone who gets sent with us, but it’s more for Mom to prepare for, which isn’t entirely fair. My question is, though, is this plan even legal?” Dirk asked. “Pretty sure this is not at all the kind of solution written into the letter of the law. Sending a kidnapping victim to live with his fucking captor for a while sounds a bit sketchy.”

“We’re working a bit loose with the laws, here,” Terezi said. “Happens a lot with cases like this where there’s potential for an interplanetary incident, we play a bit more by Alternian rules. That’s besides the point, though, the point is that it’s fucking stupid!” Terezi shouted. “They wanted me to let you know it’s an option, Karkat, but, holy shit, I cannot believe they’d even consider this bullshit as a valid solution.”

“They want to…send me to New York?” Karkat said.

“Yeah, that’s the gist of it,” Terezi grumbled.

“…With Dave?”

“You’d be staying at the Lalonde house, which is a fate I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy, quite frankly. No offense, Dirk, but your family is a fucking mess,” she said.

“None taken,” Dirk said. “I’m not gonna act like we’re a perfectly functional unit. Bringing Dave back is one thing, he belongs there,” he continued, shooting Karkat a biting look. Karkat narrowed his eyes and glared right back. “But it might be tricky for someone else to get used to, especially someone from a different planet.”

“I’ll go,” Karkat said.

“Alright, well — Karkat, holy fuck, no you won’t,” Terezi said. “No, you — Strider is not going to take all this laying down, first of all, he is definitely going to try something to get Dave back, and if you’re caught up in all that — it completely defeats the fucking purpose!”

Karkat gulped. “Well, if it’s not safe for me, then how can you claim it’s safe for Dave?” he said. “You’ve been saying this whole time, he’d be safe in New York, but now you’re saying he won’t be?”

“I can fucking assure you,” Dirk said, “he’ll be safe. I — we aren’t going to let the bastard take him again.”

“Then it should be safe for me, too,” Karkat said.

“Oh my God, Karkat, for once in your life stop being such a stubborn jackass about this!” Terezi said. Karkat folded his arms.

“I cannot say I particularly approve of this, either,” Kanaya said. “Karkat, are you sure you really want to do this? New York is very far away.”

“Earth’s a long way from Alternia,” Karkat said. In truth, the idea did make him nervous, but no more so than coming to Houston had. “Besides,” he continued, “It’s not like I’m doing a whole lot here. Even before getting captured I was just sitting at a fucking desk all day, and now I’m doing even less! I’m tired of being a fucking liability. At least this way I can, you know, feel like I’m actually doing some fucking good with my time.”

“Well, then, I suppose we had better both start packing,” Kanaya said with a sigh.

“What? Both?” Karkat said. Terezi and Dirk reacted with similar surprise.

“Do you really think I’m going to let you get shipped off alone to some far corner of the world after everything that’s happened?” Kanaya said, a stern look in her eyes. “I’m coming with you.”

“God fucking dammit,” Terezi muttered.

“But — your job! Kanaya, you have a good thing going on here, you don’t have to leave, you can’t just give that up,” said Karkat.

“My job is primarily design work,” Kanaya said. “I can’t participate in sewing while away, no, but I can still provide sketches and work with measurements. I’m sure I will be able to work out some understanding with Porrim. She’d want to be sure that you are safe as well.”

“Holy shit, you’re both fucking serious,” Terezi hissed.

“And the human did say that they have two guest rooms,” Kanaya concluded with a smile. Karkat couldn’t help but return the expression. Fuck, Kanaya was a good friend, he didn’t deserve her at all, but he was glad as hell that she was here.

“Aaaugh,” Terezi groaned, “This is going to be such a clusterfuck.”

[renaroo]

Any thoughts on Venus de Milo(tmnt)?

BOY DO I

I wonder if this is related at all to MovieBob’s recent video about her being the worst female character ever because the moment I watched it I wondered if anyone would be asking me about her. 

So. Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation is... a thing that in itself is almost too difficult to explain outside of “you had to be there”, but I’m going to do my best. Because I was there. Oh, man. Was I there. 

While I had VHS tapes of the original ‘80s TMNT cartoon I grew up with and watched religiously, the show stopped airing new episodes before I was born, and stopped resyndication by the time I was four. So while I definitely grew up with them and loved them and read the Archie comics religiously as a kid and watched the original live action movies pretty much every weekend we rented movies from the down the road movie rental store (anyone remember those?), my actual first memories of watching any TMNT show as it aired was the 1998 flop show, Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation. 

In fact, I distinctly remember getting the chicken pox that year and part of the only good thing that came from it was I got to watch episodes of NT:TNM without impediment from my then-one year old sister because they kept her away from me as if I had the plague. 

Which I kinda did, but regardless. 

It was actually just 4 years later, in 2001, that I’d come to build an online presence with TERRIBLE Pokemon, Inuyasha, and Star Fox fanfics that I first started looking up geocities communities for various fandoms and one of those was TMNT. 

If anyone remembers geocities or pre-ff.net fandom lore in the Ninja Turtles circle, here’s how old I am: I, personally, used to talk to the likes of Kali Gargoyle, Azure the Turtle, Kat, Sakan (FREAKfreak), Ame Musashi, Buslady, and Machias -- a statement that I can almost guarantee means absolutely NOTHING to 99.9999% of you.

Now, an interesting thing about the fandom culture just before the 2003 cartoon aired was that there was actually a large contingent of the fandom that were defensive of Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation and thought of it as being only as bad as the current Power Rangers season of the time (which was the one right before Dino Thunder, so I can’t remember which one it was). In fact, people were so on the bandwagon for it, that the geocities community started an online petition -- which at the time was a difficult thing to do because it meant everyone sending a single email chain around and around so everyone can sign it with their online names and then email it to Saban, who owned the rights. The petition was to allow the show to have another season and tie up its loose ends with the (most likely misinformed) opinion that Next Mutation had had better viewership than the Power Rangers season it ran side-by-side with. 

Did it deserve it? With my nostalgia goggles off, having bought the DVDs of the series and watched it within the last four years, can I say Next Mutation and Venus de Milo deserved that type of fandom swelling in support?

...

Um. Noooooo?

Okay, my extensive fandom history aside, I cannot defend The Next Mutation because... it was really bad. Like, made the Shredder a good guy in the pilot and got rid of the most iconic villains for the rest of the series bad. Instead we had the Dragon Lord (eh) and Wick (his servant, again eh), Silver the Gorilla... gangster whose gang came straight out of the (also flop) Dick Tracey movie, and... 

Vam Mi. Who was probably the first indication my parents had that I was into girls. Because. Well shit. I mean. 

A Chinese vampire obsessed with the female of the show and wore tight leather and heeellllooooooooo

Vam Mi is actually the thing I remember the best about the show and I could probably write an essay on defending the storyline “Unchain My Heart” which goddamn if we’d had episodes like that throughout the show and a villain like Vam Mi throughout the show, well it probably would’ve gotten that mythical second sense that would have made sense of the other garbage. 

But I’ve obviously gotten away from your question. Which is about Venus herself. Or, as I prefer to call her (for reason we’ll get into) Mei Peih Chi. 

The reason I’ve had all this build up and quandering about the show itself is because Mei herself is such a product of this series that removing them from each other leaves out how things went so wrong with an idea that came from such an obviously positive place. “Hey, little girls deserve to want to be Ninja Turtles, too!”

Best intentions. Worst executions. 

If you read a lot of my meta, you know that I actually despise the concept of “Mary Sues” and how female characters are carelessly cast aside by people for basically having attributes of any main character. But. Well. Let’s just look at Mei’s character in its context: 

Mei is a fifth turtle who was in the same bowl that fell into the sewers and was mutated along with the turtles (aka, does not have her own unique origin story and was there from the beginning but WE’RE JUST LEARNING ABOUT IT), she was found by a Chinese monk (Chinese, not Japanese which is the ethnicity of the Hamato family of the turtles and Yoshi, sort of glazing over the cultures as being interchangeable), was raised as his daughter in the monastery back in China even though... he seemed to somehow know about the others Turtles and Splinter and inform her where to go after his death in the pilot?, and she -- in a series called Ninja Turtles, was not a ninja but a Shinobi priestess with psychic abilities. 

Oh, and throughout the show they keep bringing up the fact that none of them are blood-related, despite the turtles being brothers being a cornerstone to the franchise since the 80s comics, for the sole purpose of having a love triangle between Raph, Venus, and Leo without it being incest. 

(This hilariously backfired and became the justification for the ever growing T-Cest fandom that shipped the boys together for years afterward by the by)

She is a fish out of water, has zero fun throughout the series, is not as physically strong in a fight as the boys, and is basically the plot equivalent of Deus Ex Machina in the end because Magic > Ninjitsu in a franchise that is completely dependent on the physicality and Ninja-ness of the characters. 

Also. Despite Mei growing up in China, still learning English and Western culture, and having an obvious struggle with mourning the loss of her home in China and her Chinese father, in the goddamn pilot the main guys rename her “Venus de Milo” because she knocked the arms off a statue and they thought it was funny. Because while the guys are named after Renaissance artists, Mei is renamed and for all purposes “Anglicanized” for an art object. Like. It’s difficult to understand who okayed any of this. 

Like. Were they thinking?

Mei, from the start, was kind of a broken character with a gross costume design (turtle boobs turtle boobs what’re you gonna do there’s a turtle with fucking boobs) that still forces girls to see themselves as thin and demure even if they’re bulky, shell having turtles. BECAUSE WE GOTTA HAVE THEM HIPS AND CURVES i guess. 

She’s so loathed by Peter Laird (co-creator of the TMNT) that he made the overly drastic declaration that he’ll never allow there to be female turtles in the franchise again, period. Which I kinda... find extreme. 

Because....

As bad as she is. As problematic as she was. 

.... When I was six, I loved her. 

How could I not love her? She and Vam Mi were the only girls on the whole damn show! (April and Casey didn’t even get cameos). The face value of representation for a long time made me defensive of Mei and of the show because of how it made me feel as a kid.

It’s that Maya Angelou quote personified: “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.“

I didn’t remember how bad the props and puppetry was until I rewatched the show. I didn’t remember how annoying Venus’ “spot” in the team was as immediate den mother and object to be fought over (like Raph and Leo needed more to fight over really). I didn’t even remember that the show kept pushing for the Turtles to not be a family. 

I remembered having a lot of affection for seeing a female ninja turtle along with the characters I had grown up loving. I mean, seriously, do I have to post that picture again of me as a baby in the scariest Ninja Turtle themed grocery store ride in the history of ever?

So she’s bad. And there needs to be more effort in being progressive and being more inclusive, especially for old properties trying to adapt to the changing times. 

And I’m someone who believes wholeheartedly that any idea can be done well. 

.... Venus was not done well.

But she had her part in making me a lifetime Ninja Turtle fan. A complicated, twisted, only could happen in the late part of the Clinton administration way. 

So I will criticize the hell out of Mei, out of the series, but I’ll always be mindful of how it made a six-year-old Rena excited every Saturday. 

I’ll remember that and the hot vampire in leather. 

[excessthoughts]

Static

16DEC20

Have you seen a TV with no cable cord attached, or a radio not tuned to any channel; that sound you hear is called white noise and the display of the TV in that moment is called snow. Both are the visual and acoustic representation of nothingness. That is what my brain is producing or processing right now, or how its responding to my current environment.

Dad had a little fall while coming out of the loo, he's ok, he grabbed on the coat hanger thingy for balance and it broke. He fell on his hip, mom called me immediately, we picked him up and sat him on the bed. He's ok, atleast he says so, no pain or anything, no visible bruises, he's ok I guess. I love my parents, no doubt in it, but.....now that is a post for a other day.

I can't stop thinking about her, literally, I'm not obsessed, I'm in love, whats the difference? Well, obsession is an unhealthy attachment towards something or someone. Usually how that works is that, whenever you attain that thing or person, a normal person would come back to normal and the obsession that was generated by a want or desire is fulfilled. In short like we say in urdu, "ghar ki murghi daal braber". In terms of a thing, like cigarette or a drug, frequent usage leads to addiction which is bad. But what if we apply that to a person? I'm an idiot, not a psychologist, I speak from my experience and the environment that I grew in. Personally, I got addicted to one person in my life, remember that, yup the first time you lost your appetite. That situation was different though, first of all I was like what 22 23, coming from all boys college, and you found a person, no she found you, she gave her number, she was a semester senior, and I didn't in my wildest dreams thought I had a chance with her. But she made it happen, I was ecstatic, those constant texts, compliments, spending time with each other in uni. The smell of her hair, the way she laughed, the way she stood by and with me in front of everyone with absolutely no shame or embarrassment blah blah blah.......for exactly, I dunno exactly but approximately 4 months? 🤣🤣 yeah, I can't believe I kept a fucking blade in my pocket for a week thinking to "end my miserable existence". Bullshit!

The point isssss i wasn't addicted to HER, I was addicted to the concept of her, of a partner, of someone who would unequivocally stand by my side and have your back. I found that in my friends, y'all know who are.

Anyways got, called for dinner, literally one text from her just calms me the fuck down. God what a woman. Literally I don't want to write anymore 🤣

But I also do, I know this blog is not suppose to chronicle my time with her but here goes 🤪

13Dec20

She agrees to go out with me again, I rushed! I was in bed all day wondering if I would see her again, and I did. Had several things to do but I had to meet her as well, thank God for wonderful khalaaad, he had my back, he returned the speakers and got samosas and rolls from wapda 🤣 i really wanted to give her something again, a rose ofcourse and some chocolates, God that smile, when I gave her the goody bag in the end. Ok ok I'm getting ahead of myself. So khalad told me to go to the phase 5 jalasons instead of valencia, that saved me a ton of time, again amazing khalad.

So I had planned that I will take her somewhere a bit quite where we could talk comfortably, last time that ABCD dude next to us was really loud. So I took her to Mocca in valencia, because its roof top is pretty neat. And yes it was cold, and I didn't put a hat on but it was worth every second. God I couldn't stop looking at her, the light from the side, I saw her eyes properly, they were brown and her pupils were dilated which is actually a good sign, and they were so pretty. She has the kindest eyes, they do have a bit of sadness in them, they are kinda like mine, I dunno, God knows what's her story, its crazy how we haven't talked about each other like our pasts and stuff. It baffles me that she doesn't ask any questions about me, and that kinda scares me of asking her direct questions as well.

I feel like she has pretty high walls built up and she's not sure if she should let me in or not. Or maybe she's just, meh, whatever, not really interested in whatever this is, and doesn't really care or she's just waiting for that admission in Germany, and doesn't want me to get hurt. She has to understand that its tooooo late for that, I would've been devastated the same if I hadn't met her after the wedding.

Anyways, so we talked and talked, well she did i just listened to her, and just looked at her 😍😍 this time all we did was talk about work, I honestly can't remember what else we talked about or what I talked about 😅. Well whatever we did it was fun, I felt she was more comfortable this time, and the best part was she said she had to get back by 8 30 but she didn't, only once she looked at the time, and then at the end I had to tell her that its past 9 and then she said let's go. And also i loooved driving with her, I need to get that stupid window fixed i could barely hear her.

So we come back to where her car was parked and as she exited my car I told her to wait im coming and she said I can go my own, but I had to give her the goody bag. So I opened the first passenger door, I placed it on the seat, and she was like noooooo, and for a moment my heart stopped, and I asked is there an issue taking it home she said she has had too many chocolates, and I was like then ration em, my brain just went floopy and I was saying words that I didn't know I was saying. But in texts she said she can survive the roses because I told her she will have to get used to them.

But then I gathered up some courage, and asked her something that had been bothering me, that if she thought if I was depressive and sad person, she said no, which was a huge relief, bcuz I'm not! AND THEN I told her which I wanted to say for quite sometime, that I'm not infatuated by the time we spent together, the first thing I asked bari after the first dance practice was umama ka kya scene hai, and that I'm not fooling around. Btw bari idiot first reply was amna single hai, I was like what, nigga shut up. Anyways, she just kinda laughed and smiled. God that smile! Her smile is like a fucking window to heaven, it melts you in such a weird way, it brightens up the room, it makes me happy, it has that everything is going to be alright feel to it.

I want to say that to her, how I feel, how she makes me feel, she completes me, she is the missing piece, she is perfect, and I want to spend my life and hereafter with her.

But....there is a chance this may not happen,

now that is a thought that keeps me awake at night,

and makes me loose my appetite.

I don't want to go through that again,

That endless pit of agonising pain.