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foxyarchive · 10 months ago

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Your Guardian Angel(Or Devil) P2

You officially meet Adam for the first time. It involves a lot of screaming.

Cross Posted on AO3!

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, vomit, suggestive content..... Adam.

Words: ~5k

So good news! I now have a plot idea, but I don't want to whip it out yet. I need more Adam fun filler, but I'm running low on ideas. Please, lemme know what y'all wanna see Adam and the Reader get up to!!

P1 | P2 | P3

“Give me anotherrrr!” You cry out in enthusiasm, slamming the now empty shotglass on the bar counter. Your friends cheer you on, someone patting you on the back firmly enough to make you stumble forward. Thankfully, being right at the edge of the bar, you can brace yourself and stop from completely keeling over. Your friendly opponent smirks at you, sitting in the seat beside your own as he waves his hand to order another round.

“Didn’t take you as someone to be able to hold your liquor that well.” He comments, a small hiccup leaving him, and you just offer him a sharp grin.

“What? Jus’because imma WOMAN?” You scoff, swaying slightly in your seat.

“Yeah, put him in his place!”

“Show him you mean business!” Your friends cheer you on, and the stranger just laughs with an incredulous shake of his head.

“A whole entourage as well. Let’s see if you can keep up!” Another shot is brought to you both. Immediately, you grab for yours, and knock it back as fast as the other man. It’s sweet, and it goes down easy, but it roils as it settles in your stomach. So does the next one as you declare yourself capable of handling another. The room is almost spinning, now, and the stranger seems in better shape than you, but… Not by much.

“Think… Think I’ll… Get sick if I– I have another.” He hiccups mid sentence, trying to gurgle out the response, and you numbly nod your head in agreement. You offer him a hand, which he shakes, and the two of you stare for a moment before bursting into laughter at the absurdity. You reach out and hug him, and he reciprocates, and the hug is clumsy but it’s the thought that counts. Who knew your night would go down being challenged by a stranger in a bar? It was certainly fun, though.

For awhile, you thought you were the most fucked up, but it seems your friends were all rather wasted as well. Looks like getting a ride here was a good idea after all, even if it meant needing to pay for it… Twice, too, since you needed to get back to your house. It’s late, absurdly late. You’re too old to be staying out this late it feels like, but it’s the weekend, and you want to have fun, dammit. Against your better judgment, you have another drink– Something light, but still enough to give you more liquid courage to head up to the karaoke stage and belt out a song you don’t even remember with your friends.

2AM rolls around, and that’s when everyone is kicked out. Your mind is a horrible haze, and each step you take and the way you move your body is beginning to feel extremely purposeful. You’re trudging forward, leaning against your friends and giggling at literal nonsense. You open your phone as your friends do, all of you calling your own rides home. Everyone had arrived here together, and had decided to crash at your friend's place, but with it being this late and with how awful you’re beginning to feel, you just wanna go to your own home. Seems everyone else does, too. Looking down at your phone, you stare at it for a solid fifteen seconds as you try and decide what to do. What were you doing again?

Oh. Right. Getting a ride. Several others at the bar are as well. You open an app with shaky hands, trying to click your way to order something, but a sudden encroaching feeling washes over you. “G–Guysh, I … I needa piss, I’ll… Be back.” You slur to them, lightly dragging your hand down the hair of one of them.

“Okaaaay, be quiiiick!” Comes the hiccuped response, and you flash a thumbs up(more like a hand up) as you stumble your way back to the bar. You try to go in, but the door is locked already. You whine, pounding on the door, slumping your cheek against the side of it. It swings open, and you stumble forward, thumping into the chest of a burly doorhopper. You blink up at him, nearly falling backwards as he pushes you an arm’s length away.

“We’re closed, now.” He grunts.

“But I needa peeeeee!” You whine, shifting from foot to foot.

“Should’ve thought of that before we closed up.” Comes his brisk reply, and the door is slammed in your face. You let out a loud groan, tossing your head back, and turn around to look for your friends. You can’t see them anywhere, not with this many people, and you move forward to try and find them. Your steps are getting worse, and you’re hurting at this point trying to hold it in, and you’re unable to find them.

“UGH, whatever.” You grumble out, deciding to walk to a nearby gas station across the street. You slowly begin to stumble your way down the sidewalk, making it to the intersection. Another group of people are there, and you blink lazily, leaning against the poll. When they start to walk, so do you, following a decent distance behind just due to moving so slowly. Finally making it to the gas station, you walk in, shuffling to the bathroom door. Thankfully, it’s unlocked, and you finally get in and relieve yourself with a loud sigh.

After finishing up, you stumble out of the bathroom, and back into the cold of the night. With a shiver, you rub your arms, trying to figure out where your car is at. Nobody is around, now, but you see some cars across the street. That must be where yours is at… Or your driver. You ordered a ride, right? You begin to make your way back over, and with everything sounding so muted, you don’t hear the rumbling of cars in the distance. You head to the crosswalk, and you see a flash of green. Green means go, obviously.

You step out onto the street, beginning to walk across. White suddenly blasts in your vision. The loud roar of an engine catches up to you, and a shot of adrenaline suddenly flicks through your body as some of the haze clears. You realize what’s happening as a car zooms your way, along with two others in some street race. There is no way you can move out in time.

Oh, fuck. Are your last thoughts, before they collide with your body.

…Or, well, you assumed they did. Your body is suddenly sent flying, being jerked around, and you find yourself thumping against something solid as the wind whistles across your face. “Unf!” Is the only sound you make, and you blink open your eyes, seeing the cars whiz right past you. You’re on the sidewalk again. Oh. Maybe you had just imagined you’d walked into the street, and saw what happened if you had, and–

“Aren’t you little shits taught to look both ways before crossing or something?” A brash voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and you suddenly realize there’s a weight on your arms. Someone is holding you. Blearily, you blink, craning your neck to turn and look at who is. You have to crane your head to look up. And up. And up. He– It– Is… Huge. It towers over you, face black like it’s horns, golden mouth and eyes peering at you in what you can only define as stark irritation. Oh, God, it’s some kind of demon. You don’t even notice the little round thing floating above its head.

You scream in surprise, scrambling away from its grasp as you stumble back towards the street. “You fucking idiot, I just saved you from doing that, don’t do it again!” It snaps, wrenching forward to grab you by the front of your shirt, dragging you towards it.

“P-P-Please don’t k-kill meeee!” You cry out, feeling tears run down your cheeks. You can’t comprehend what’s happening. What the fuck is this thing? Why is it touching you? Are you tripping balls right now? Holy shit, what did you drink? It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not–

“Why the fuck would I kill you? I just saved your ass! Twice! You’re fucking welcome, by the way.” It turns you away from the street, pushing you further into the sidewalk with enough force to where you collapse to the ground. On your knees now, you sob, cowering as you cover your face and wonder what you could’ve done to deserve such a fate to be hunted down by a demon. “Oh my fu– Wahh wahh wahh, can you stop crying, bitch? I saved your fucking life!” It seethes from above you, ripping a hand away from your face. Its glaring at you, teeth bared in frustration, and you just shudder and try to pull away, your heart racing in a panic. This is the worst trip of your life. You’re never drinking again.

“Let go!” You cry out, too inebriated to wrench yourself free from its powerful grasp. “Don’t eat my sooooouuuulll, pleeeeaase.” You sob pitifully, turning your head back away, and it just groans out.

“If I let you go, you’re not gonna try to run, are you?” It snips, and you just shake your head, agreeing with it. It lets go of your arm, and the first thing you do is stumble to your feet. You try to run, to get away. Still being extremely terrified and uncoordinated, though, you don’t make it far before you trip and fall with another cry.

“I’m going to fucking kill Sera for sticking me with this shit.” You hear the demon hiss as it approaches you. You’re wrenched to your feet, and you feel its arms wrap around your body.

“No! Nononono, I’m sorry! I’msorryI’msorry, I p-p-promise I’ll behave!” You gasp out, kicking your legs as it lifts you off the ground. You hear the whoosh of something, and then suddenly, you’re lifting into the air. It’s a feeling that makes your stomach curdle as you’re now weightless, ascending higher and higher into the sky as the demon kidnaps you. You kick and thrash, and all you can do is scream, trying to escape despite knowing that if you did, you’d very likely fall to your death. Being wasted did not help any thought processes. “Heeeeellllppp!” You scream out to someone, anyone, but a hand is briskly slapped over your mouth.

“Shut the fuck up, you whiny cunt! I’m trying to help you!” It growls in your ear as you zoom through the air. You’re going to be sick. Or faint. Probably a combination of both. Your vision is growing dark and cloudy. You need to be put down, now. You try to talk, but nothing comes out. You try to bite at its fingers, but are unable to. You try licking instead. Its wearing gloves. “You’re so fucking gross, stop doing that before I give you something to lick.” You don’t know what the threat means, but it doesn’t matter anyways. You feel on the verge of unconsciousness, before your stomach does another flip as you’re swooped down with the demon.

It places you on the ground, and you can barely recognize that you’re in some random park through your hazy state. It turns you around to face it, and that’s when you recognize the sight of wings curling back up to its side. Then, there’s that ring above its head again. Oh, God, was it… Actually an angel? Why did it look so demonic? It doesn’t matter. This isn’t real… Right? Oh, but your stomach is curdling and your hair is windswept and you’re freezing and– “I’m going to take my hand off of your mouth, and you’re not going to scream. Got it?” It asks through gritted teeth. You blink, one eye at a time, giving a small nod of your head. Slowly, it removes its hand, squinting at you.

Sike. You open your mouth to cry for help once more, but in a flash its hand is back over your mouth. You lick it’s fingers again, trying to get it to stop, and it instead opts to push two fingers into your mouth now. A moan leaves your throat at the intrusion as you slump slightly, tongue naturally curling around the digits. The look of irritation is gone from its face, now. Instead, it watches you with intrigue as your tongue licks and sucks, head cocking slightly to the side. A small smirk places on its features as it leans closer. “This is a lot better…” It almost whispers, and you moan again against better judgment as it presses them in further.

Saliva pools at your lips and drips down your chin. A lot of it. An unnatural amount. Your throat constricts. Your stomach cramps. You know what's coming, and clearly the demon-angel does too. It wrenches its hand away, swiftly side-stepping as you hurl up the contents of your stomach. You fall to your knees, retching as everything you had drank and ate the past several hours comes back up and empties onto the grass. “Oooh… It buuuurnss…” You moan in pain, voice scratchy and warbly. There’s only a brief respite before you retch more, and you hear the thing beside you make a noise of disgust as it walks away.

After what feels like an eternity, you finally slump onto your side with a whimper, rolling away from your stomach juices. You shiver, feeling cold and exhausted as the adrenaline completely leaves your body. The haze in your head certainly doesn’t go away, though. You have no idea how you got to this park, as you realize that… Figment of your imagination was just that— A figment. It’s not here anymore.

“Fucking done yet?” A flat voice asks. Oh, shit, it is still here. It walks back over, arms crossed as it looks down at you, irritation on its face. You just whimper again, curling in on yourself.

“I… Want… Home…” Is all you can manage out, and it crouches beside you, wings flaring out.

“Where is ‘home’?” It asks, sounding none too pleased. You just groan out, feeling too tired to respond. Your eyelids are getting heavy. The world is growing dark. “Fine, just fucking– Stay there.” The thing is gone in a flicker of gold, and that’s the last thing you see before you pass out.

—---

Waking up was a mistake. You were sore as Hell. Your throat was burning, your mouth hurt, your head was throbbing, and your knees were aching. You try and flit through your memories to recognize why you feel so awful, besides the copious amount of drinking you surely did, but everything is just a blank right now. You smack your lips together, grimacing as you taste the sure sign of puke in your mouth. Well, that explains why your throat burns and your stomach is howling. With a heavy groan, you slowly get up, trying to shield your eyes from the light that pours into your room.

You slip inside the bathroom, shedding your clothes as you turn the shower on. You take something for your pain, popping into the shower with a gratifying sigh as you feel the warmth of the water relax your aching muscles. You wash your hair and body, spend longer than necessary in there, and finally decide to crawl out. After drying yourself off and putting on some comfortable clothes, you head into the kitchen, your cat letting out a loud meow. “Hi, mister meow. I know, I know, give me a moment and I’ll feed you.” You pet him as he rubs against your leg with a purr. You fix yourself a bowl of cereal, feed your cat, and settle on the beanbag with a relieved sigh as you flip on the television.

You’re still trying to remember last night’s details as you slowly eat, blinking lazily at the TV as you chew unceremoniously. You feel like a cow gnawing on cud with the way you’re chewing, but your body still feels to be moving in slow motion. Well, that is, until something pops up in front of you. “Huh. You didn’t kick it. Thank fuck, I wouldn’t have heard the end of it.” Your body jerks in surprise, and you nearly go flying off the beanbag as a scream of shock and terror rips from your sore throat. Some of your cereal spills, but it’s a Godsend that the whole bowl doesn’t go flying out of your hands. You look up at the… The thing towering over you, and suddenly, everything is starting to be pieced back together.

“Y-Y-You’re–” You try to stammer out, and he just scoffs, straightening up, previously being hunched over you.

“You’re– You’re– You’re–” He mocks you in a feminine voice as he flutters his wings and makes hand gestures. Despite still feeling an abundance of fear in your core, it’s lessened just a bit by this, and an ounce of irritation crawls up your spine. “Can you stop being such a fucking pansy for five minutes and let me talk? Sheesh…” He glowers at you, and you decidedly shut your mouth. His hand then shoots down, and he grabs the bowl of cereal from your hands abruptly. “And give me this. Making me hungry.” He scoffs, taking a bite of your cereal as you try to process what exactly is happening. Okay, so this definitely is happening, then. You blink owlishly, still trembling, on the verge of a panic attack.

The angel-demon chews loudly, looking down at you, unimpressed. “Chillax, ‘tits, I’m still not gonna hurt you. Remember what I said last night?” He drawls out as he chomps on your cereal, and you frown at his words, drawing your legs up to you.

“...Barely.” You mutter. You remember him, but not exactly what happened. You decide questions are the best thing to get started, here, because he does seem placated for now… “What–” You begin to ask, before stopping yourself. Well, he was clearly a… He. A person, and not some… Entity. He ate, after all, and talked like a person. Too much like a person, in your opinion… “Who are you?” You decide to ask.

“Adam.” He responds, and you blink. That’s… Such an ordinary name. You’ve met at least two Adams in your life. You were expecting something more inhuman, like… Zeretath. Or Angeclous, or something! “I see that look on your face, bitch. I’m not just any Adam. I’m the Adam.” You offer him a blank stare, and he looks back at you, scoffing. “You know. The original. First man, first dick. You descended from these fuckin’ nuts.” He smirks, pointing a finger down to where you assume his crotch is. Your face heats up at the implication, at first, before your eyes widen in shock once more.

“Wait– Like, Adam and Eve?” You can’t help but ask, and you figure that’s maybe the wrong thing to ask, because he immediately tenses and a scowl crosses his face.

“Don’t you fucking say that bitch’s name.” He hisses out at you, bending over to glare at you, and you shrink back with a squeak, trembling again. He squints at you, before straightening up. “But yeah. That.” He snorts, taking another bite of cereal. You don’t know what to say. You’re flabbergast right now. Part of you doesn’t believe him, or believe that… Any of this is real. You’re most certainly awake, though, you know that for sure. You also saw him just pop into existence right in front of you. What should you do? Was bowing appropriate here to the first human created? Should you call him something other than Adam? He seemed so… Casual. And he looked nothing like you thought he would. Wow, human evolution had really come a long way. The stories painted him nothing like you thought he’d be like.

‘Made in His image’. God looks a loooot different than people perceived him as, then. You thought about asking him about it, but was a bit afraid to spark his ire anymore. Instead, you decide to ask, “Why are you here? Right now and last night?” You’re still hesitant, legs drawn up to your chest, but your arms have loosened around them a bit.

“Guess ‘cause you’re one lucky sonofabitch. I’m your guardian angel.” He smirks, finished with your breakfast as he tosses the bowl and spoon carelessly aside. You expect to hear it shatter, but to your surprise you see it just float off and land with a small clang on your counter. You look back at Adam, eyes still round.

“Is that your… Role? In Heaven?” You ask, and he scoffs, flicking something off of his robes with his fingers.

“Fuck no. That shit is way below my paygrade.” He responds, and your confused look makes him clarify. “I guess it’s some shit every angel has to do at least once, aaaand it was my turn, or whatever. So. You’re my first.” He raises a brow, offering you a sly grin with the cross of his arms. “Congrats, you popped my guardian cherry, babes.” You can’t help but grimace at the comment, your legs sliding down now that you felt less… Intimidated.

“So basically you just… Save me from death?” You ask, trying to understand what exactly a guardian angel’s job was. You didn’t even know it was real. You’d heard the phrase ‘your guardian angel must have been looking out for you!’ before, but you, like everyone else, had always just thought that’s what it was. Some phrase that held no merit. “Am I immortal, now?” You blink in realization.

“Pfft. No.” He laughs at the thought, almost mockingly, sneering down at you. “You’re still gonna kick it. And whenever it happens it’ll probably fuckin’ suck. I’m just here to make sure you don’t kick it before your predetermined death time arises.” You tilt your head in curiosity at this comment.

“So you know when and… How I’m going to die?” You ask, hesitantly, a bit of a chill running own your spine. Could you have your very life laid out right before your eyes right now? Could you even… Cheat death if he gave you the answer?

“Yeeeep. I know everything. I’m fuckin’ Adam.” He emphasizes with a smirk, pointing to himself. His next response is one you’re partially expecting. “And, no. Don’t bother asking. I can’t tell you, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I also can’t answer any other questions about the pearly gates, or other divine beings, yadda yadda, you get the idea.” He makes a talking motion with his hand, looking bored as he gives this spiel you assume he’s meant to give. You partially wonder if he actually is supposed to be talking to you. After all, you haven’t heard anything about guardian angels talking to the person they’re guarding… Then again, you have never heard of them actually being real.

“So do you just… Know when I’m going to be in trouble? Or can I like, call for you when a situation seems unfavorable for me?” You inquire, sitting up a little more as you look over him. Goddamn, he is massive… Easily over seven feet. Maybe about eight. It’s a little horrifying, truth be told. You’re still pensive about him, and you’re not going to try to poke the bear by any means. You’re certain that his hand could completely cover your face if he so wanted it to.

“I have this sorta sixth sense for when shit is gonna go bad for you. Allows me to just pop over whenever I need to.” He explains, hands on his hips now. His wings are tucked at his side. How interesting… A sudden thought crosses your mind.

“Wait– Have you been following me my whole life then?” You blink, and he takes this time to poke around your house nosily.

“Correct-a-mundo. Remember that time you almost drowned as a tot?” He’s looking through your cabinets now at various snacks and utensils you have stocked away. Cautiously, you stand, not approaching, but nervously moving about nearby.

“No.” You admit with a frown, trying to rack your brain.

“Fuckin’ course you don’t. You were like, three. Wandered into a pool like a dumbass and I gripped you out by your fat head so you didn’t drown.” He’s grabbing a bag of chips, opening it up as he tosses a few in his mouth. You don’t even know what to say. He’s been watching you your whole life and only now you know about it? You try to wrack your brain for any other near death moments you can think of.

“Oh! What about that one time when I was thirteen? I was at a park, and I tried to do a backflip off of a swing, and I could’ve sworn I was gonna land at an angle that would break my neck, but I somehow didn’t. Was that you?” Enthusiasm is thick in your voice as you pinpoint a possible moment it could’ve happened.

“Nah, don’t remember that.” He says through munching. “Oh, there was that time though when you were like… I’unno, ten? You were fuckin’ around with some friends, and one of them swung a metal bat and your head was like, right in the way.”

“Oh, shit, I remember that!” You gape. You still remember the thunk it had made against your head… Boy, you’d had a nasty goose egg and couldn’t sleep on the side that had gotten hit for awhile. “Wait, though. That hit my head. Are you… Telling me that would’ve killed me if you weren’t there?” You suddenly gape, a shiver running down your spine at the thought.

“Bingo. Would’ve caused enough internal bleeding to knock you the fuck out forever. Kids are fucking insane.” He grimaces, leaning against your counter as he eats. “Put my hand right between your thick skull and that bat. That other fucker swang so hard it bruised my hand, little bitch…” He utters the last part, a scowl overtaking his features as he chews more on his– Your– chips.

“How come I didn’t see you?” You blink in surprise, suddenly realizing you hadn’t noticed him at all. “Or anyone else for that matter.”

“Well, first off, only you can see me.” He explains, brushing some crumbs off of his robe and onto your tile. It’s your turn to scowl now. “Secondly, you’re not supposed to see us. Well, me. Y’know. Your guardian.” He snorts, chewing some more, and your scowl softens into just a frown now.

“Err… So, then, why are you letting me see you now? And talk to you?” You decide to ask, hesitantly, and he shrugs his shoulders as he tosses more chips into his mouth.

“Because this whole guardian bullshit is so fucking boring. I gotta keep loose tabs on your whole life? That’s like, a ninety year commitment.” He groans out, tilting his head back dramatically. His horns nearly knock a small succulent off of your counter.

“So I do live a long life?” You raise a brow, and his head snaps back up to you, squinting.

“I didn’t say that, bitch, I was giving an example.” He snips, and you just close your lips.

“You have an awfully filthy mouth for an angel.” You find yourself saying, eyes widening as you slap a hand over your mouth. Oh, fuck, you didn’t mean to say that outloud. Thankfully, Adam doesn’t seem to take offense. In fact, he actually grins, and lets out a bark of laughter.

“You think angels are these perfect, pure, holy beings? Because you’re fuckin’ wrong.” He chirps, straightening up with a flutter of his wings. It knocks off a piece of paper mache, and you frown at the action. “Okay, well, a lot of them are, but that’s just because they’re too pussy to say what they’re really thinkin’ because they don’t wanna become fallen or whatever. Not how it works, but those fuckers don’t know that, and it’s hilarious seeing the lengths some of them will go to scramble so that I don’t report them or whatever.” He laughs again, and you can’t help but to make a small face with how malicious that sounds like it is. It… Probably is, honestly. Adam finishes your chips and carelessly tosses the bag aside.

You shift from foot to foot, trying not to be intimidated as he walks towards you, pausing as he glances to the side. Your cat has walked back up to you with a purr, rubbing against your legs, and you pick him up for cuddles. “What does it mean to… Become fallen?” That sticks out in your mind, and you pause as you realize he probably can’t tell you. There seems to be this look that dawns on Adam’s face as well, as he seems to realize what he said.

“Oh, uh… Angel stuff. Can’t tell you.” He huffs, crossing his arms as he looks down at the cat in your arms, who’s purring contently. A squint is sent your feline’s way, and he sticks his tongue out it, and you can only watch with wide eyes. “Anyways. You’re alive, I’ve done my job, easy fuckin’ day. Glad you’re not as annoying as I thought you were initially, with how last night went. I gotta skedaddle now, though, got angel shit to do. Important shit. I mean, I’m kinda a big fuckin’ deal, so don’t you forget that, sugartits.” He grins down at you, and you scrunch your nose up at the nickname.

“I have a name, you know.” Comes your response, and he just waves a hand dismissively.

“Yeah, I know.” You deadpan.

“Okay. What is it, then?” You wait, and he hems and haws, briefly, wings flicking as he taps his chin in thought.

“Um… Al… Elm… J… Je…” He begins to utter out sounds that could possibly be your name. He can’t be serious. He’s been following you your entire life and he can’t even remember your name? You give him your name, your face and tone still deadpan, and he snaps his fingers, before he scoffs. “Obviously! I was just about to say that. You got no fuckin’ faith in me, ‘tits. Try to have a little more faith. I’ve saved your life three times now.” He hunches over you, and in reflex you set your cat down, afraid of this going south for whatever reason. You peer up at him with wide, significantly more anxious eyes, now. “If you were up top… You’d owe me. Big time.” He leans in closer, gripping your chin with a grin as he pulls you somewhat closer to his face. It looks… Off. Almost digital. You can’t describe it. Angels were so strange.

You swallow. Nervously. Something in you makes you retort, “...It’s your job.” He just sneers at your reply, letting you go and pushing you back slightly as he puts room between the two of you.

“Yeah. I know. And I’m fucking awesome at it, like everything else. You’re a lucky bitch.” He strums what you can only assume is air guitar, before flashing you the devil’s horns as he sticks out his tongue when he grins at you. “Later.” He’s gone, once again, in a puff of golden, smokey sparkles. You’re now left with crumbs to clean up, an empty bag, and a lot to think about.

#reader insert #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel adam #adam x you #adam x reader #hazbin hotel #x reader #reader #you

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dukeofdelirium · 4 months ago

Note

In complete honesty, I kind of wish that Stranger Things would have just been two high quality seasons. They should have let El die in S1, and then focused on Mike, Will, and the origins of the Upside Down in S2. At this point, the story has been dragged on for so long, and, if S5 fails to recontextualize a lot of things from S3 and S4, there was a lot of unnecessary filler that just weighed the entire show down.

I agree with this pretty heavily. It’s obvious that they dragged storylines out and didn’t have everything completely plotted by how dysfunctional s3 and 4 are in comparison with s1 and 2. It almost feels like two completely different shows. When s3 first aired, I almost didn’t finish it because I hated it that much. S4 was pretty similar tbh… the NINA plotline and the Russian shit was so terrible that me and my sister debated skipping the scenes I’m not even kidding lol. Literally the only thing that kept us watching vol 2 was any crumb of Mike and Will scenes and then seeing what happened with Max. That was fr it. The second we finished vol 2 we immediately turned off the tv and then started shit talking it 😂 we were NOT impressed lol.

The Russian plot was dumb as fuck in s3, and it was even worse in s4. Literally the dumbest thing this show ever tried to pull and comes across as more unbelievable than inter-dimensional monsters lol. Idgaf about the Russian fuckery. It’s fucking stupid as hell and I can feel myself losing braincells in real time whenever I have to rewatch scenes of it. Idgaf about the NINA bullshit, when the hell are we gonna move on from this dumb lab/rainbow room/Papa nonsense and get to shit that really matters?

The whole Russian thing is actually what makes the Hawkins lab and stuff dumb lol bc it went from the American gov being the enemy to now suddenly it’s evil Russians like stfu get out of here with this nonsense I cantttttt

And don’t even get me started on the dumb relationship drama in s3. If I wanted to watch a show about middle schoolers making out I wouldn’t be looking for it in stranger things, that’s first of all. Second of all, none of this has any depth and the only reason it matters in any context is to develop Byler and their rain scene is one of the only memorable scenes of the season. Idgaf about hopper and Joyce acting like 12 year olds. Idgaf about Billy’s wack ass redemption. Idgaf that El raises her hand and screams for the billionth time or that she loses her powers cuz guess what… she gets them back. *pretends to be shocked*

Fr, s5 has to recontextualize multiple seasons or else this show will have been a huge disappointment. S4 was ok. But as I said, that’s all it was. Okay. Not great. Not even necessarily good. Just meh. The only good parts were the Hawkins group with Max (she was the best part of the season) and then Mike and Will’s scenes. That’s literally it lmao. The Russian plot? Dumb. El and the NINA shit? Dumb. Yawn, don’t care. Let me spend time with characters I care about please and thank you.

I long for the return of s2 quality….. when Mike realizes Will is compromised and that he’s the spy and Will sends all those soldiers to their gruesome deaths…. come on that was peak cinema. Bring it back. I miss it…. we were a country once

#if s3 doesn’t have haters I’m dead #bring back Will the wise idc it’s what we’ve yearned for for years #stranger things #anon #byler #Will Byers #el hopper

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idlerin · 2 years ago

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nonsense — 04. i’m NOT petty

you placed down your phone and paid more attention to your delicious food, groaning in satisfaction because you missed it's taste— despite eating the same thing like 2 days ago.

“you really bought those albums huh,” kuroo comments, staring down your paper bag filled with albums. most of kageyamas, some from artists you love.

"why?" you tilt your head to the side, acting innocent, "circulating money is good for the economy!" you say a little too loudly, unabashed. you did look around a little after shouting because you did have a little bit of shame.

the restaurant didn’t have many people inside. well, the mall didn’t have many people in it in general. it was considered one of those "fancy" malls people tend to stay away from, which is exactly why you guys frequent here.

"i'm broke now," you slump on the table, your elbow as a support as you shove a spoonful of your meal in your mouth, wearily glancing at your shopping bags under the table beside kenma's.

"i paid for half of it," kenma says.

"yeah and my wallet is still empty."

"let's get new shoes after eating."

"i JUST said my wallet is empty."

"i'll pay for it."

"okay, lets!" you say chirpily, what can you say? you like free stuff. who were you to turn that down?

"[name]..." akaashi begins.

"hey, are you really okay?" it was kuroo who finished the question everyone in this table was most probably dying to ask.

"yes," you say without hesitation, because you really were.

"people online can be really harsh," kenma adds, having known from experience.

"yeah," you shrug, "but i'm really fine, don't you guys believe me?"

"of course we believe you it's just that it's with oikawa's fanbase you know," kuroo points out.

"so? he's like any other celebrity out there," you shrug, acting cool.

"except you actually loved him."

"yes, loved, past tense," you pout, it wavers though.

kuroo sighs, "it was as if it was only yesterday when you were raving on about having a necklace with his initials on it.”

“shut up!” you point your fork at him and snarl.

"[name], just remember that we're always here for you whenever you need anything," akaashi says in a serious tone.

"i know," you say softly. you feel kenma's hand reach out over to your side and comfortingly pats the back of yours, "just so we're clear, i still really hate him," you frown.

"yeah yeah just eat your food," kuroo rolls his eyes, finding your statement hard to believe.

"eat faster, [name], the shoes are waiting," kenma says while scrolling on his phone, already browsing the store he wants to buy shoes from so he could just ask for it later on.

"she's going to choke on her food if she eats any faster," akaashi shakes his head.

masterlist — previous | next

✦ fun facts !

kageyama is a singer because if oikawa can be an actor then he can be a singer.

[name] always wore that necklace with oikawa’s initials on it back in the day (she doesn’t wear it anymore but she keeps it in a drawer says its too expensive to just throw away)

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — hating filler? haha just kidding (i love friendship)

taglist is open ! + @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm

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artist-heart83 · 4 months ago

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Trying to do a family tree for Shoormy

Alternative title: I have a problem for trying to theorizing the family of a character from the blue mario show which canon can be used or be forgotten in various occasions.

Since late april I have been watching SMG4 to keep on date with the previous arcs and stuff like that.

During my Genesis Arc (and YouTube Arc too) watch the videos previous the main ones from the arc being: Youtube Arc - Some characters first appearances; and Genesis Arc - The “filler” episodes.

And of course, of all the characters that grab my attention was the silly boy scout mushroom, who grab my attention by just his character, like hello?? He not only a silly guy but was a demon hunter and that he is the original, I LOVE CHARACTER THAT HAVE TWO DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES HEHEHEHE

OKAY SO!

When I watch “Mario Babies” and “Mario and the village” and I read Shroomy wiki page I was… confused to say the least about the family.

The worst part of all of this? IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SHROOMY FAMILY! This is the blue mario nonsense show! Is like a saturday show! Like lets be real, one of the father of two characters is literally octodad body with cthulhu head.

Unfortunately, I’m just a girl who like to overthink stuff and likes to do stuff with my favorite characters, so you’re trapped with me in this, so you’re gonna read about the conclusion that I get, this being my headcanon and the thought that come out of nowhere.

Let’s start with this!

SO WE HAVE THIS AS A REFERENCE:

The first information we have about a member of Shroomy family is the Doomguy being his uncle, later on we know Lady Dimitrescu is her aunt (being the wife of Doomguy) and yeah Wheeler is there too but it’s important.

In Mario and the village we can see that Shroomy was raised by Doomguy and Dimitrescu, so this raise a question. Where are Shroomy parents?

And by the idea of Shroomy being raised by his uncle… uhhhh… Im pretty sure his parents are death but this doesn’t stop to figure out the family tree.

With Wheeler we know that, in fact, there is a mushroom in the family, also sorta explain Anti-Shroomy tendencies and personality; and with Doomguy this raises the possibility of a human in the family.

But you might asking at this point: “what the hell are you going with all these?”

Well, I’m trying to figure out why Doomguy would be his uncle, trying to find a blood related reason and not just doing the easiest route of: “the show doesn’t make sense” or “maybe Shroomy was just adopted” which is valid buuuut I’m not satisfied with that answer.

Then I was thinking:

Okay so there must be a human in that family that could explain Doomguy, so maybe one of Shroomy parents was human and the other the mushroom. But who…

…

Holy shit Calhoun, someone like Sergeant Calhoun would be Shroomy mother, considering she is from a shooting game and I’m pretty sure Doom is one too, HAHA IM GENIUS

So the family would look like something like this:

YEAH I WAS LAZY. I COULD DRAW HOW SHROOMY PARENTS WOULD LOOK LIKE BUT HAVE JUST THE VISUAL REPRESENTATION TO GET MY IDEA.

Basically, the idea is Shroomy dad would be purple to resemble Anti-Shroomy and Shroomy mom would like something like Sergeant Calhoun because that how I picture it.

If you personally ask me about Shroomy parents, well.

Both parents were hunters, they fall in love, they marry and have a beautiful son. Like I speculate before they’re probably death but I didn’t think about how.

Pretty sure that would be all, I don’t think I missing anything, but hey this is just me doing this stuff for fun.

This is my contribution to all the Shroomy enjoyers and fans over there, hope you like my yapping 👍

#smg4 #smg4 shroomy #heart headcanons #you can CLEARY tell I just love this mushroom and how I love doing this kind of stuff #DONT KNOW IF I MISS ANYTHING OR IM SAYING MISINFORMATION YOU CAN CLARIFY SOMETHING IF YOU WANT #also wanna read what u guys think. because this is just me being the girl who clearly hasn’t sleep well and my brain is just saying nonsens #<- which is true. the idea of this post come from one of those day

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shsl-analyzer-guy · 6 months ago

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Best and worst danganronpa trials/chapters?

Oh gosh, I don't know. There are so many to choose from, and while one trial might be total ass, the rest of the chapter can usually hold it up, or vice versa.

Trialwise, I think the best one is definitely 2-5. There's basically no time lost on petty filler and the Soda horniness, while present, is kept to a minimum. Mechanically, it's a pretty decent one to my memory(Hangman's Gambit excluded but face it, that's always the case). The trial remains engaging all the way through, even if you've already figured out the identity of the traitor, and the performance of each of the involved characters is incredible. I'll never get over Chiaki willingly sacrificing herself in the end, or Nagito's plan to kill all the despair by betraying the class, or the insistence from everyone- Sonia, Soda, Akane, Fuyuhiko- that Chiaki couldn't possibly be it, all unconsciously trying to save her since they couldn't last time. #1 trial for me, always

On the inverse, there are 2 candidates for worst trial, and it depends on what you mean by 'worst.' On the one hand, 2-3 is literally physically impossible. I mean, not only does the provided explanation for Mikan's coverup require a level of speed, focus, and dexterity uncharacteristic of a klutz with a deadly disease, it's also just generally physically impossible given the timeframe. I mean, what, you mean to tell me in the time it took for Hajime to sprint to the immediately neighboring motel, scream for help, and turn to leave, Mikan was able to:

tear a ring of wallpaper away from Hiyoko's corpse

fold it and tuck it into the back room

destroy the camera

break and drop the drumstick

line the doorway with glue and let them shut, with enough time to dry and stick together

sprint back inside the hospital before Fuyuhiko got there

and the infuriating one

WALK the perimeter of the island THE LONG WAY AROUND to meet Hajime and Chiaki outside the motel?

Yeah, I call bullshit. It makes no amount of sense no matter how many times you say it. Also, Mikan is treated like shitty fanservice just generally, so a trial in which she's at the center/is the killer should really center on her reclaiming her agency, especially considering her two victims were a) the girl that wanted to take pics of her whenever she tripped into inappropriate positions, and b) her greatest bully on the island. Instead, the whole trial is just about "woah Mikan was crazy ALL ALONG???? OOoooOooOoOOOoooOO scaaaawy disease thing." Which is just plain fucking lazy. And hell, that execution??? What the fuck is that???? One final parting fanservice gift that NO ONE WANTED? Thanks I hate it.

On the other hand, 1-2 is straight up offensive on multiple angles. The introduction of a blatantly ableist DID stereotype with the confirmation of Toko and Genocide Jack, along with the inherent transmisogyny of Chihiro's story and the way all her agency in the narrative is totally stripped from her is egregious. As a trans person, a person with DID, and/or someone who gives even one shit about either/both types of people, the whole thing just makes you wanna throw up. In that sense, it's worse, but at least there, the murder case itself made logical sense. So ultimately, when push comes to shove, I still say 2-3 is worse. I'll take the one that's only offensive over the one that's offensive AND nonsensical. Doesn't treat its victims or killer with respect at all, offensive execution to any victim of SA, and just a fucking PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TRIAL THE HELL-

In terms of overarching chapter, I'm gonna say 2-4 was the best one imo. I quite like the funhouse motive and the conflict it presents, and I think there's a lot of good packed into the chapter as a whole, both in the progression of the story, character development for all involved parties, and the relationships found in it. I think being forced to slowly drag your way to the Final Dead Room as Hajime is great, and Chiaki saving us later becoming the proof against her is just *chef's kiss*. Fuyukane platonic besties 4 life???? Sign me tf up. The fact they were willing to perspective-shift us to Nagito for part of the investigation was incredible too, I love that shit. Also, there was a statue of Sakura. Real shit.

The worst chapter is 1-3. I do not like 1-3. I do not like their lazy asses not even bothering to let us have FTEs with Kiyondo, I do not like turning Hiro and Hifumi into pathetic little jokes and refusing to do more with them in their own chapter(the flashback of Hifumi thinking SA bad is the bare minimum). I do not like the severe tonal whiplash from the emotional turmoil and dark mystery aspects with the Robo Justice "Stand Tall, Galactic Hero!" overly flashy nonsense. I don't like that this was all they wanted to do with Celeste, who objectively would've had more thematic purpose if they'd let her be an overarching antagonist. Hell, the stageplay understood she had more potential, and that shit severely cuts down and rewrites the content for time!

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warsamongthestars · 2 months ago

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There's a whole heaping lot of nonsense in TBB, honestly, and its not even the good shit.

I mean, there's bits, but a bit ain't a scene or an episode, yeah?

TBBshow seems to run on the idea of that character interaction, conversation, quirks or just breathers, are all filler--that anything that isn't immediately serving the (immediate) plot is pointless.

And I'm gonna tell ya--that's a bit like serving pie without the filling. That's like serving bread crust because the soft light bits were "filler". That is like creating the aroma of frying eggs or onions--and then just serving a cup of the resulting grease instead.

Like, congrats, you know how to mid-max speed run 100%... in the wrong fucking medium.

If you're wondering by now, what I mean by heaping nonsense--its literally the Plot Pushy Bullshit. Congratulations, doing things that only forward the maiden plot, makes your story stupid. If I want something that is simply pure plot, I would pick up a Pre-Schooler's Naptime book.

There's a reason the strongest episodes in TBB are those that center around its main characters (That aren't Omega)--the Single Crosshair and Single Tech episodes, are the strongest episodes and stories, on show, because they rely on the development of their already strongly written characters.

When you sacrifice Character for Plot, you have effectively boiled something down to being a blank pawn on the board.

Too many fall under the idea that everything that isn't immediately action oriented plot, must be Filler, and I gotta tell ya pal, if you don't have the patience to reach the story at it strengths--the problem isn't the story, its PEBCAK.

( Part of it is the environment we've all been in. High pace information environments have this bad habit of destroying natural animal patience. Which means actually sitting yourself down, and learning how to watch paint dry is probably the best cure for it. )

Any writer can do character. In fact, for example, most fanfics are nothing but character driven.

The strongest shows out here, are all character driven.

... Star Wars OG, while it started with being driven by plot stocks, became character driven by the end.

Most of the Prequel Series is character driven (if too dialogue heavy... )

The whole TCWshow is character Driven, in fact, it turned the Clones from CGI Carboard cutout redshirts into a full blown implied culture of people.

( In fact, TCWshow is So character driven, they had to plot out why these characters would have to fail come Revenge of the Sith, because at the rate they were going, they were about to hit critical AU and solve Star Wars before the OG trilogy could )

So "Logically Following Plot" is just as bad as characters "Following Logical Actions at All Times". I cringed every time I saw TBB try to "logic" its plot out every episode (which honestly makes me think that AI was involved as some point, because it was almost dream-like how it tried to march to... a conclusion. Certainly none of the ones we got, but some imaginary conclusion. )

( It air and write during the Writer's Strikes, and a lot of Disney stuff was AI written as a result. Lookin' at you, Wish. )

ADDENDUM:

Folks keep saying "If they only had more time". DUDES. OVER THE GARDEN WALL, BY CARTOON NETWORK, WAS ONLY 10 EPISODES, MADE (Written, Voiced, Animated, All of it) IN UNDER A YEAR, WITH CHARACTER, SYMBOLISM, SECRETS AND AN ALL STAR CAST. I am tired of hearing about "Oh they needed more time". That's an excuse at this point. No they didn't, they need actual Talent and Skill and a Love for the Process.

#star wars #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #criticism #plot driven plots #analysis

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neonscandal · 1 year ago

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Manga With Me: Obscure Head Canons (and Hypotheses) You’d Probably Develop When Reading the JJK Light Novels, Pt 1

For an anime with literally no filler episodes 🥹... the first light novel provides a brief insight into the days before (and behind the scenes of) the trauma. As someone who thrives on the misery of being a JJK fan, would the experience be complete without them? The answer doesn't matter because everything you need is below the jump! I saved my biggest theory for last so hop to the end for it.

⚠️ Spoiler Warning for Jujutsu Kaisen Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust and season 2 of the anime (manga spoilers are vague at best).

Head Canon: Gojo is the Riddler Purely For His Own Entertainment ✨

As someone who can process things the way a Six Eyes holder probably can, there’s no way he allows Yuji and Megumi to get the drop on him during their surveillance of sensei on his day off. But he takes them around (at a distance) doing silly things like record stores and maid cafes because I think it prompts them to enjoy things they wouldn’t. Especially Megumi. It’s kind of sweet, both their inherent curiosity about him but also lonely the way that he explores his whims so far removed from everyone else. It really highlights that “Who is Gojo Satoru?” question when you realize even Megumi’s interest was lowkey piqued at the possibly knowing a bit more about Gojo.

In the second story, Gojo speaks in straight up nonsense (think Mad Hatter) and it is no wonder when he's working alongside the most straight laced sorcerer there is, Nanami Kento. To a degree, I wonder if it’s genuine chaos spilling from his head or if he knows, after years of pushing Nanami’s buttons, how to precisely drive him up a wall. I question whether it's for his own entertainment or to his own alienation. Maybe Geto really was the only one who could follow the winding thread of Gojo’s thoughts.

Head Canon: Gojo Secretly Worries About Nanami

I think with Haibara’s death and the knowledge he would have made light work of whatever caused it, Gojo makes it a point to join Nanami on missions.. just in case. After all, Nanami and Shoko are all he has left from before. He’s lost many people and, as the strongest, I don’t think that fear is something he’d admit aloud, but its reality is demonstrably what pushes him forward physically and philosophically. In the story where they go on a mission together... it almost seems like an unspoken and uncomfortable understanding between them, the elephant in the room neither want to point out. People around Gojo never wanting to acknowledge how his strength eclipses theirs is rather common which we see with Nanami in this story and even Ijichi later. So while he may make light of this chasm, he still pops in as an unsolicited protector. With grace, he allows Nanami to assume he's just being a nuisance but I really think he takes an ounce of prevention where possible when it comes to the people he cares for. After all, imagine the turmoil if he ever came to realize his absence could make or break another person's survival again.

Head Canon: The Elders Have Always Known, If It Came Down to it, Gojo Would Always Choose Geto

There’s a reason they kept the idea of reanimating the dead a secret specifically from Gojo. In fact, they should probably consider themselves lucky that he was so vehemently disgusted with the curse user capable of such puppetry. I wonder if he experienced hope before allowing the reality of the sham magic to break his heart all over again because, in their secrecy, it seems like they know the lengths he’d go to protect and choose Geto. Geto was allowed to walk the earth for 10 years after his execution was ordered. Maybe they were right to keep it close to the chest. Gojo still saved his body, after all. To what end when he knew a body can run the risk of becoming a curse?

Head Canon: Gojo Saved Ijichi's Life but Condemned Him to Something Worse

Okay so this is kind of a manga spoiler (though I believe the flash back is during the Premature Death/Hidden Inventory arc) but, as a student, Gojo straight up told Ijichi he was weak and should find something else to do so he doesn't get himself killed. So he does. He becomes a steadfast and detail oriented manager which is a critical fixture in jujutsu society but damn, doesn't it just put Ijichi in an ivory tower of suffering? Years pass as he sends first his juniors, then fresh sets of kids into dangerous battle after dangerous battle. Some survive, some don't and all serve as a reminder of his powerlessness. He can cross every "t" and dot every "i" and it still doesn't prevent what happened to Yuji at the Juvenile center from happening. What does that do to one's soul?

Head Canon: Gojo Still Thinks "We Are the Strongest"

As seen with the Premature Death/Hidden Inventory arc, we know that Gojo saw an exponential growth in response to the losses suffered. It seemingly drove a wedge between he and Geto as Geto struggled to grapple with his powerlessness. With his defection, we see where Gojo changes his posturing from "we are the strongest" to "I am the strongest" but in the back of his mind (Alexa, play "Always Forever" by Cults 🫠), we know he still holds a soft spot for his first and last warm spring of youth. At the end of JJK 0, he refers to Geto in the present tense, as his "best friend, [his] one and only." Even after everything, I truly think Gojo leaves space for Geto beside him. This is furthered in the light novel during a story which is placed post Junpei and upon Yuji's return to life at Jujutsu High. Yuji, while still playing dead, helped a kid who had a grade 3 curse that seemed to be resurrecting and, after exorcising it multiple times felt he needed Gojo's assistance. When Gojo refused, he resigned himself to ask Nanamin for help wherein Gojo employed a Teachable Moment (TM).

He approached Itadori, who was hanging his head. "In this world, tragedies too often end in misery, even when it's possible to help. But the problem isn't lack of strength or getting there too late." As Gojo passed Itadori, he patted him on the head without making eye contact. "The main reason it happens is that people forget they have the strength to help."

This was enough to restore Yuji's confidence in his own competence but also sounds informed by what happened between Geto and Gojo in a sense. I interpret Gojo's assertion to center Geto to be the assumed lack of strength (which was most pertinent to how he was advising Yuji) and himself with the poor timing. Ultimately, to Gojo it doesn't matter because he never thought Geto was weak. The insecurity was a product of a situation he failed to reason himself out of, at the time, and it bred resentment within him alone. I don't think Gojo blamed Geto for anything that happened with Riko nor could he blame himself. It simply spurned him to figure out ways to limit his vulnerability in the future. In the face of that loss, Gojo still said they were the strongest and maybe in that moment with Yuji, he was employing a lesson he wished he could have been in a place to tell Geto to quell his festering guilt and grief. You can be strong and still fallible.

Hypothesis: Mimiko and Nanako (and Anyone Else...) Going After Managers is Not a Coincidence

As we saw with JJK 0, Geto's twins were rather merciless in going after the suits who make everything covert about jujutsu society possible. Based on what we knew at the time, the managers provide cover for sorcerers on missions (with curtains, getting them transportation to, providing cover stories) and plug them in with resources as needed. But we begin to realize that managers serve additional purposes. In season 1, we see that they are sometimes part of the investigative force when it comes to getting information around developing situations. With the Shibuya arc and the arc that follows, we see that they are also integral means of liaison and communication between sorcerers and to other points of contact within the community, including windows.

So. Windows are people who can see curses but aren't sorcerers which begs the question, what are managers? As we learn and can infer with Ijichi, who was a former sorcerer in training, managers are people who can see curses and may even be able to manipulate cursed energy. They aren't full blown sorcerers but they aren't completely helpless either. So why go after them?

As we see in the story centered around Ijichi's "boring day" at the office. Managers are sorcerers' only connection to the "human" world. They are what keeps them tethered to their mission in protecting others while similarly upholding the etiquette and traditions around how the rest of the world works. They maintain a very delicate balance of things alongside the supernatural. Without them, you'd have the unchecked ego of teenage Gojo basically just doing as he pleases without curtains or respect to the possible implications of a civilian seeing him work out in the open. To suit Geto's needs during JJK 0, why should sorcerers operate under some guise of hiding their strength for the sake of those who are weak? As to what happens during the Shibuya arc.. imagine the fear, the anxiety. Imagine the chaos! Imagine the curses it would yield.

Hypothesis: Yuji is Still the Main Character, We Just Haven't Seen the Curse that He'd Manifest When Broken Saying it louder for the people in the back

Certain corners of the fandom have largely cast Yuji aside. With the release of JJK 0 and appearance of Yuta, many wonder why Yuta isn't carrying the series. Afterall, his inherent overpowered-ness and ability to copy any technique for sure casts him as the next gen Gojo, right? In the literary sense, we've seen the rise and fall of his story. We haven't seen the last of him by any stretch of the imagination but he is, as we discovered, also jujutsu society royalty. A distant cousin of Gojo's, actually.

Of the main cast of first and second years, Yuji and Nobara are subsequently the only characters who do not have apparent ties to jujutsu society. Nobara, plucked from the countryside, is tested by Gojo upon her initial introduction to the series to make sure she's crazy enough to cut it. Yuji's origin is still a ways from truly coming to light but his inherent strength and the simple ability to house Sukuna and maintain his identity has, in many ways, been indicated to be an anomaly. Subsequently, as the viewer or reader, we know there's more to the story which has yet to come. I won't go into it here given my desire to not spoil the larger manga story but I think laced within the light novels is enough evidence to talk about Yuji and what his power and subsequent threat level is.

Yuji, for all intents and purposes, is an outsider. From what we can tell, he has experienced loss. Most apparently with his grandfather but we also assume he is a victim to the MC syndrome that leaves him orphaned and prime for a journey rife with struggle. He's fifteen with the pure heart of a child despite any previous hardships and just so happens to be armed with the mission to help people.

Yuji approaches the introduction to this new society with the wonderment of a kid finding out superheroes exist. But this naivete, this untempered light, actually has the capability of being something so fearsome when we learn how curses manifest through negative emotions.

In the anime, we see this as Sukuna scratches at Yuji's mental when they realize the possible origin of Tsumiki's curse may have begun killing it's victims when Yuji ate the finger. Mahito employs a similar means of manifesting ill will in Junpei that ultimately also becomes a burdensome guilt that Yuji bears. Countless times in the Shibuya arc, Yuji is forced to witness catastrophic losses of his mentors and friends while he can only stand idly by. The survivor's guilt is compounded by the shame of his own inability to help which only gets worse.

Since Yuji is relatively noble and sincere in nature, he considers these losses personal failures. He takes ownership of any sins against others that Sukuna commits when he is not in control over his body and, subsequently, his spirit takes a beating time and time again. He sought to do good in the world but his ledger becomes increasingly bloody through no means of his own and it weighs on our sunshine character.

It's easy to lend a hand to a child who has fallen, but it's a teacher's job to show a child how to stand up unassisted. It isn't always easy. - Gojo Satoru

The first light novel closes the gap between how Yuji went from training in a basement away from anyone who'd want him dead a second time to being under Nanami's care. While wrapping up Nanami's case, Gojo is uncharacteristically somber in requesting Nanami's assistance. He explains that Yuji requires Nanami's influence as someone who knows human suffering. The losses shared between them are unspoken and are not acknowledged within this exchange but, from what we know, hang as a burden between them. Still, both Nanami and Gojo have continued on as sorcerers somehow, from the grief of their youth into their late twenties. But Gojo gives voice to the concern that, because of Yuji's bravery and altruism, that the reality of what's expected of a sorcerer will one day break his heart if someone with emotional intelligence isn't able to help temper it. They seem to both understand the precariousness of youth and have both been shown to insist in protecting it where possible. This exchange and their mutual understanding is how we have Yuji under the care of Nanamin. It's also where we get the heart rending reminder that "Being a child is by no means a crime," and "You've escaped death many times. But that doesn't mean you've become an adult."

In the last story of the book, as Yuji is reunited with the other first years, he is contemplating a situation he encountered that still lacked resolution. He'd exorcised the exact same demon several times but to no avail. He hopes to enlist Gojo's help but Gojo encourages him to think about the problem more because not everything can be solved by fighting and exorcising when the source of curses is from human emotion. As Yuji races off to resolve the issue that's been weighing on him, Gojo reflects on his responsibility to preparing Yuji for the ups and downs that are sure to befall him.

Itadori's sincerity was a more significant attribute than his being Sukuna's vessel. As a result, trauma had the potential to become a curse more fearsome than anything else, a nasty curse preventable only by confronting one's own heart. Instead of cradling that heart, Gojo could teach it to be prepared. That's what it meant to raise students.

While the story resolves without consequence, we see that Yuji's reflection on the situation is as endearing as one would imagine though still a bit warped. He is galvanized to be stronger, dedicated to providing the help the people need whatever it may be, and to not give those he cares about reason to worry which seems in line with what Gojo was hoping for. But being offset by his consideration for how others feel like Nobara and Fushiguro when he died, it almost feels like he's creating an even larger burden of expectations for himself. This gives rise to Gojo's very real concerns about how far someone can fall into despair, especially someone who is such a beacon of positivity.

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recurring-polynya · 1 year ago

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Yesterday's post about shinigami blood types (or lack thereof) reminded me about an idea I had awhile ago that shinigami had an equally woo system of assigning personality types based on reiatsu color. This is especially charming to me because of the fact that Ichigo, who hates horoscopes and such, changes reiatsu colors like seventeen times over the course of the series and I feel like the Reiatsu Color Girlies (gender neutral) would have a field day with him.

For funsies, and because it's Friday, I decided to take a stab at making one. I started with the reiatsu color chart from the Bleach wiki. I threw out all the really minor filler arc characters. This is mostly a shinigami thing, so I considered non-shinigami characters as I was thinking about the categories, but they were, like, supporting evidence. I decided that black reiatsu is not a thing people have normally, that's...you know, final form nonsense. Both Yoruichi and Soi Fon's shunko is listed as white, but I feel like shunko is just white, that's not the same as having white reiatsu and is not a personality reflection. On the other hand, when one's bankai is a different color than their normal, that's like revealing a secondary personality type, which is oddly consistent with bankai as a concept. I futzed around for a bit, and finally decided I wanted it to be color-wheel balanced, so, while the Bleach wiki uses the categories of Orange, Golden Orange, Golden Yellow, and Yellow, I just used Orange and Yellow. These are all designed as a spectrum anyway, so if someone's reiatsu is somewhere in the middle, or two-toned or something, they are considered to either have the traits of both, or to be somewhere in the middle.

Finally, keep in mind, this is in-universe hokem, so it's actually very on-brand and hilarious for someone to be grossly miscategorized.

Some notes:

From the very beginning of this project, it was hilarious to me that Matsumoto was getting thrown into the same personality archetype as Hitsugaya and both Kuchiki. In my mind, Rangiku strongly identifies as a white reiatsu person, despite the ample evidence to the contrary. No one is sure if this is a bit or not.

I took all the Arrancar off this chart, but obviously Grimmjow's is blue, and I think it's a hilarious Seireitei microaggression that he would go into the studious class overachiever with Kira and Ishida (I realize that Ishida is also not a shinigami, so to him, it's a microaggression how on-brand this is)

The pink category was such a mixed bag, and it also contained basically every girl Arrancar. I tried to come up with something that literally every one of them would make a horrified face about, a club to which absolutely no one wishes to belong.

The red category feels very solid to me and I love the collection of characters within it, except for Urahara, what is this man doing here? I feel he would be very "hmm, maybe I am a man of action" about it, which is definitely a bit, and Yoruichi has nearly murdered him over it on multiple occasions.

Has there ever been anyone with green reiatsu who wasn't absolutely insufferable over it? Certainly not anyone on this chart. (Kira is both vocally critical of the reiatsu color personality system and incandescently angry that he doesn't have green reiatsu)

#bleach worldbuilding #the spelling on the chart is not my usual b/c i copied it from the wiki and didn't feel like changing everything #i did not go to the trouble of looking up a number of characters who were Notably Missing from this chart #any after-the-fact additions will hopefully just add to the humor value #will i find some way to work this into a fanfic someday? i sure hope so!#this is just a dumb thing i made up if you disagree with it feel free to make your own

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inkblackorchid · 11 months ago

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What the hell happened with Crow: an autopsy (Part 2)

Hope you didn't think I'd forgotten about this post yet. Lads, ladies, and other lovely people, here we go. I have more yelling about bird boy to do.

But first, a few disclaimers. For people who may have missed part one, yes, as the title implies, this post is part two of an attempt to analyse Crow's character throughout 5Ds' whole run. You can find part one here. Now, both for people who may not have the time/energy to read my first, huge post about this right now, let me explain what I'm about here before we start again: My analysis is not meant to deter people who like Crow from liking him. It's also not meant to convince Crow haters otherwise, even if I admittedly personally like Crow. All of this stuff is just my personal attempt at dissecting how his character was handled in the show and why that might have been. And because this is part two, and I covered the Fortune Cup and Dark Signers arc in the first post, I'll start with the pre-WRGP arc, then dig into the backstory Crow was given directly before the WRGP begins properly. Also, mind the length of this post. I'm physically incapable of writing short things.

I also feel the need to reiterate another thing before I really get into the meat of things again: If you were hoping to see any old rumours about 5Ds confirmed, this is the wrong post. In fact, thanks to the very thorough work of someone over on Reddit (another shoutout to @mbg159 here, who's the author of those posts), I know for a fact that literally all the big rumours surrounding Crow are one big pile of logistically impossible horseshit, and I think after so, so many years of people citing this nonsense, the fandom as a whole finally deserves to let these go:

No, Crow was not meant to be a dark signer, least of all the final boss of season one, and Blackwings were not the reason he got more screentime later.

No, Aki being sidelined was not the result of her irl voice actress' pregnancy.

Yes, I know these two posts are both a long read each, but I cannot begin to tell you how tired I am of these rumours. So even if you don't have time to read the stuff above, please take away this: The big 5Ds production conspiracy theories are. all. bullshit. Because, to put it in as simple terms as possible, none of them work out logistically. The events people have pretended affected the show's production in a major way all don't line up with the actual production timeline. So just can the rumours already. Please let them die. And no pitting Aki and Crow against each other on his post or because of this post, yes? I beg you, I am so tired. Ok? Ok.

All right, now we can get to the good part. In my previous post, I left off at the end of the DS arc. So, in what position is Crow at the end of the DS arc? He helped save the world by defeating Goodwin and got his very own signer mark after Rudger/Roman Goodwin's death.

And now, where is Crow at the start of the pre-WRGP arc?

(Bam. Delivery bird boy be upon ye.)

This time, Crow wastes absolutely no time coming back on screen. We see him again within the first episode of the second half of the show, and wouldn't you know it! He moved in with Yusei and Jack and the three of them have a funny, brotherly, bickering dynamic between them. Also, as a fun little add-on that is very much in line with his deeply Satellite, down to earth characterisation from the first half, Crow now works as a delivery driver to earn money for the household. That's all very nice and good.

But what is his role in the plot from here on out? Well.

First, a small note about the pre-WRGP arc. Though this arc is fun to watch because it gives us a lot of silly character interactions the show no longer found the time for once the WRGP started, the pre-WRGP arc really can't be said to bother with actual plot much. It's the known filler arc of 5Ds, and as such, Crow is not the only character who gets pretty much nothing plot-related to do during this arc. Thus, I'll only give a quick run-down of what he does get up to, just in case any of these tidbits end up showcasing a relevant aspect of Crow's character I might come back to later.

Furthermore, another thing that's pretty much obvious to everyone who's ever watched the show in its entirety but still bears mentioning: Crow gets a lot more screentime from this point on out. Technically. Why do I say "technically"? I'll get back to that further below. For now, just keep it in mind.

So, how does Bird Boy spend his time during the arc where the plot's on the back burner? To be honest, on the sidelines, mostly. Don't get me wrong, Crow's there. Most of the time. But he gets pretty much only two episodes where he's the focus, and both of those aren't exactly known for being 5Ds' most memorable episodes (even though I still like them both tbh, but I digress): For one, in episode 68, he gets to convince Bashford to move in with Martha so the depressed old man isn't spending his entire retirement living in a scrapyard.

(This episode's comedic moments are actually fairly solid. But those are just my two cents.)

And for two, in episode 85, Crow gets to bond with the boys' somewhat cranky landlady, Zora, by duelling some sense into her son, Lyndon. (Which also introduces us to a duelling tactic only Crow uses that we will later see again: Losing on purpose.)

(And here we can see Crow showing off his skills at dealing with petulant children.)

Now, do these two episodes where he gets to be relevant actually do anything for Crow? As a character? Debatable. If nothing else, they strongly reaffirm the values Crow represents which we were introduced to in the first half of the show, though. They reintroduce us to his stubbornness, to his (in comparison to Jack and Yusei) more playful nature, to his very Yusei-ish dedication to doing the right thing, to his penchant for spite, and to his strong sense of family and community and his belief that these two things shouldn't be abandoned unless you have a damned good reason for it.

You may notice that there's a sizeable gap between these two episodes. That's because those episodes are where we get the only smidgens of plot in this arc. Among them, highlights like Sherry's introduction, the first reveal of accel synchro, Aki's turbo duelling license exam, three separate story beats hinting at the machinations of the emperors of Iliaster (Luciano's little stunt with Rua and Ruka, Placido getting started on building a killer robot army, and the Jack double being unleashed onto NDC), and Bruno's introduction. So, here's the thing: Crow is technically present during most of those episodes, too, but he doesn't actually get to meaningfully interact with the plot-relevant elements. (Which is not to say he doesn't have nice moments here and there. He does get to bounce off the other characters, and, just as one example, helps Yusei and Jack upgrade Aki's duel runner, as well as help Yusei build Rua's duel board. Crucially, he doesn't get to do anything that later becomes plot-relevant, though.) Moreover, not one, but two characters who end up becoming major players in the series' finale are introduced here, which is relevant insofar as that Bruno and Sherry both end up needing a good amount of development before they can impactfully take their later roles. Now, I say this with nothing but genuine appreciation for both these characters, because I do like them, but I feel the need to point out what this means not just for Crow, but for pretty much everyone who isn't Jack or Yusei: Every minute of screentime that was dedicated to Bruno and/or Sherry was one minute less the writers could spend on the rest of the cast. This is not to say that time shouldn't have been spent on them, they needed it, especially because they were introduced so late, but it's something I do want people to keep in mind when talking about who got how much screentime and whether or not that time was well spent. (I also have a larger gripe with the definition of "screentime" in general, but more on that later.)

So when does Crow get to be relevant to the plot again, now that he's even a signer and all? Well, not until episode 94, when the WRGP arc has already started. (Note that I'm using the 5Ds episode list on wikipedia as a general guide for which arc and which season starts where. You can find it here.)

*Deep breath*

So. Episode 94.

(Pictured: One very scruffy dragon. Bird? Dragon-bird. Bird-dragon. You figure this shit out.)

That episode. The episode where Crow, who was awarded with the status of a signer during the finale of the DS arc, finally gets a dragon to match his mark. And the episode where we finally, finally, get some actual backstory for Crow that goes beyond his involvement with the Enforcers and childhood with Jack and Yusei. A backstory that's only Crow's own. Except. How do I put this politely...

This shit doesn't make a lick of sense. Neither the events in the duel between Crow and Bolger in the present resulting in Black-Winged Dragon's appearance, nor the Pearson backstory.

Now, I'm not saying this to step on anyone's toes. From a writing standpoint, I can even make a fairly reasonable guess as to why this episode/mini-arc is here, I think: As I mentioned in part one of this analysis, Crow was not only introduced very late, but also got very little backstory of his own, which set him apart from the other signers. Don't get me wrong, he did get some backstory—we know of his strong connection to Duel Monsters because he learned to read from cards, and we know of his involvement with the Enforcers/Team Satisfaction. Crucially, though, Crow doesn't really get a backstory segment that feels as unique to him as the others. Aki gets her tragic past with her parents and her powers, Jack gets his betrayal of Yusei, which also doubles as part of Yusei's backstory, who as the protagonist understandably gets the most backstory, and even the twins, though they are as always treated as one unit, get their very own segment about the time when Ruka was essentially in a coma. Meanwhile, Crow only has that one-off tear-jerker moment about learning to read from his cards and his being a part of the boys' duel gang, which, and I cannot stress this enough, is treated as more of a Yusei and Kalin/Kiryu backstory by canon than a Crow backstory. Thus, it makes perfect sense from a writing standpoint that the Pearson/Black-Winged Dragon mini-arc would be here. Crow, up until this point, has neither a backstory segment dedicated solely to him, nor a signer dragon to call his own. So, how do we solve this? Give him both in a strategic double-whammy! The math checks out. Unfortunately, the writing of said mini-arc... doesn't.

Now, look. The juicy question of whether Crow would have worked better as a non-signer or not, which I already discussed in part one aside, I personally don't hate what this backstory is trying to do. It's just that the whole Pearson-drama has some very notable, logical holes which I'll get into below. Furthermore, this is not the first time something related to Crow has some unfortunate, logical and/or chronological issues. I already brought up the infamous fridge and Rex Goodwin's rather confusing backstory in part one, both of which raise some serious questions. However, Pearson and everything surrounding him arguably blow that clean out of the water. Let's examine this more closely, shall we.

The long-overdue backstory we get for Crow begins with a mystery: Mikage and Trudge, for a reason that is never given to us, are investigating the death of Robert Pearson (whose death would have been several years ago at this point), whom Crow knew very well, and they're doing it because they found a hint that the person who killed Pearson used an illegal card, Crimson Mefist, to do it.

(Post redemption-arc Trudge actually doing his job instead of bullying random Satellite citizens. Who would have thunk.)

Thing is, here, we already encounter our first, minor problem: Pearson has never been mentioned up until this point, not even as an aside. And this issue is compounded by the fact that not only Crow seems to know him, but Trudge claims to as well, because "Satellite used to be his jurisdiction". So, a named character who's familiar to both one of our protagonists and a notable side character, and we've never seen hide nor hair of him. If we pull our heads out of the story for a second, the irl reason for how this came to be is probably pretty obvious: Pearson was never mentioned before because the writers had nowhere near as solid of a plan for Crow as they did for the other characters, which leads to him being introduced out of nowhere here because we need a backstory and a dragon for Crow and we need those now. Moving on.

The mention of Pearson having been not simply killed in a fire, like Crow previously assumed, but having been murdered through a special, illegal card immediately makes him suspicious. So, he goes to consult Bolger/Bolton, another never-before-seen character who gets introduced in service of this backstory, and who knew Pearson well. And while this guy certainly acts amiable towards Crow at first, implying that the two have a good rapport, at least, he quickly starts acting suspicious when Pearson's murder comes up. Moreover, we as the audience at this point already know Bolger's looking for Black-Winged Dragon so he can use the card essentially as collateral to save his company. And the name "Black-Winged Dragon" already leaves very little to the imagination as to whose deck this monster is supposed to fit into. But, in a small twist, we learn from Crow that this was apparently Pearson's card, and supposedly lost in the fire where said man died, to boot. Then Bolger challenges Crow to a duel, too, offering to tell the truth about Pearson's death if he loses, but demanding Black-Winged Dragon, which he believes Crow to be in possession of, if he wins. So far, so good. We've got a mystery here, and canon is not contradicting itself just yet. Until we get to the actual backstory, which shows us the time Crow spent with Pearson, that is. Before we get into that, I'd like to highlight one theme this mini-arc introduces that actually feels like it fits Crow: Legacy. Over the course of meeting Bolger again and being reminded of his time with Pearson, Crow starts thinking about whether he's taking over his former mentor's/father figure's legacy well enough.

(Crow having some Deep Thoughts TM, featuring one of Yusei's most relaxed, easygoing smiles in the entire show, probably.)

This theme, I would argue, is one of the major things this backstory introduces that really meshes well with the Crow we already had until this point. He's a community-focussed guy and absolutely a family person, if him taking care of Satellite orphans is anything to go by, so leaving behind a good legacy for the people after him (read: the kids he took care of) would absolutely be something he cares about. We see this element of legacy again in his cards during this episode, too, which canon implies he inherited from Pearson. (I'll get to THAT can of worms below.) And on paper, with the themes he's already got going, Crow being the only one to inherit his deck rather than build it all by himself would actually make sense!

However. This is where we have to get into the meat of the backstory. I'll start by listing the barebones information Crow's backstory with Pearson gives us, then going into why several aspects of it are either logistical or chronological nonsense.

So, as canon tells us, Crow met Pearson after Kiryu/Kalin was arrested, when the Enforcers/Team Satisfaction all went their separate ways. During this period, Crow had already set up shop near the original Daedalus Bridge and started out taking care of orphans, but it wasn't all smooth sailing. He was, by his own admission, "living aimlessly". Then, during a pinch, Pearson and Bolger show up, take care of some bad guys for Crow and the kids, and Crow sees a new role model in Pearson. Pearson, who rides the Blackbird, plays a Blackwing deck and owns Black-Winged Dragon. So, he joins up with Pearson, presumably learns how to work on duel runners from him, and also befriends Bolger. Then, one day, a fire breaks out at Pearson's workshop and the man in question dies, but leaves Crow his runner and his duel disk before he does so. End flashback. Because I want to tie this together nicely, we also learn later that Pearson technically left him Black-Winged Dragon, too, by sealing it in his runner. And, of course, that dragon later becomes Crow's very own signer dragon.

Several points to be dissected here. And funnily enough, Bolger's duel with Crow isn't relevant for any of them. Let's start with the big one: The timeline. I want you to remember that as far as canon is concerned, Crow is 17 during the DS arc. Moreover, it's canonically stated that Jack stole Yusei's first duel runner two years before the show's start, at which time Crow would have been 15. And their time together as the Enforcers must have been even before that, because Kiryu/Kalin was already in prison for a while at that point and Crow and Yusei don't reunite until the DS arc is basically in full swing. So, I'll make a vague estimate here and say that during the time of the Enforcers, Crow would have probably been 13-14. (Which is hilarious when you think about the fact that this gang of angry teenagers essentially took over the entire duelling underground of Satellite, but I digress.) Now we add the idea that Crow met Pearson after the Enforcers, but that he died before canon starts into the mix. That means Crow first ran into Pearson sometime around age 15, and that he then died presumably before Crow turned 17. So far, so good, that still slots into canon, even if it makes Crow pretty damn young for some things. He's even missing the personalised Blackbird duel disk he later wears during the Enforcer days, I went back to check. What he is not missing, however, are his Blackwings. And this is where canon may or may not have made an implication that, if intentional, breaks this timeline. See, during the scene where Pearson's workshop is burning down and he's already trapped under debris and has embraced death, he tosses Crow his duel disk and leaves him his runner.

(Two important screenshots, in sequence. One, Pearson with his duel disk still strapped to his arm. His deck is very obviously still in there. Two, Crow with that same duel disk, as made obvious by its distinct shape.)

What this implies is that Pearson also left Crow his deck. Which, yeah, fair enough, if I were dying in a fire I'd probably also think "fuck it, not like I'll need my cards in the afterlife". What this (and Crow's look the first time he sees Pearson's monsters) implies, though, is that Crow didn't start playing Blackwings until Pearson left him his deck. Which is factually untrue, because there is literal evidence in the show that Crow already had Blackwings during his time as part of the duel gang, before ever meeting Pearson. (The exact episode, if you want to check for yourself, is 33, where Crow summons both Bora the Spear and Blackwing Armor Master during a flashback.) However, I will concede that the show never actually states this is the case, it's just implied by what we see on screen, so perhaps the idea here was that Crow already played Blackwings before Pearson, but grew to love them even more through his mentor/father figure, and so later happily integrated the deck he inherited into his own. Crucially, canon never states this outright, either, though, so the option remains on the table. But, to give the benefit of the doubt here, the possibility that this could still slot in with canon and that it was just handled poorly is there. The same cannot be said for the Blackbird, however.

(Uh oh. So much for canon continuity.)

The above two screenshots directly contradict each other. First we have Yusei, upon reuniting with Crow in Satellite during the DS arc, casually remarking that Crow finished his duel runner. Which means that canon at this point suggests to the audience that one, Crow built this duel runner by himself, for himself, and two, that Yusei knew about it for a while already. Then there's the second screenshot, from the Pearson backstory episode, where Crow outright claims the Blackbird was left to him when Pearson died. I don't think I need to tell anyone that these two things can't be true at the same time. And again, I think this is where Crow fell victim to the writers not having a clear outline for him. At first, he was supposed to be this scrappy guy who also built a duel runner for himself, just like Yusei. But now, he's a signer, needs a backstory and a dragon, and because a theme of legacy is introduced alongside Pearson, the runner suddenly needs to be inherited, as well as (possibly) Crow's cards. Now, a crafty fanfic writer could probably reconcile the above contradiction somehow, and I know some stories that accomplished that. But the point isn't that we, as the audience/fandom could make this work, the point is that canon didn't make it work. What canon, sadly, also didn't get to work was Black-Winged Dragon.

(We meet again, bird-dragon.)

Here comes the next elephant in the room: Everyone and their mother who has watched 5Ds knows that Black-Winged Dragon was never implied to be a signer dragon up until the duel where Crow acquires it. In fact, an entirely different dragon is teased so heavily long before BWD ever shows up that it to this day is one of many people's major gripes with the show's writing.

(Why, hello, Life Stream Dragon! Fancy seeing you here.)

And yet, Black-Winged Dragon is turned into a signer dragon before Life Stream Dragon, who was teased more than sixty (!!!) episodes before BWD was ever even mentioned. Why? Simple: Because Crow became a signer and Rua/Leo didn't, because the signers all need dragons (or else the "5Ds" part kind of doesn't work), and because Life Stream Dragon thematically doesn't fit Crow.

Now, I've seen people post theories to reconcile this weird hitch in canon, hell, I've even posted an idea for how it could be reconciled myself. But, again, that isn't the point here. The point is that as far as good old, barebones canon is concerned, it isn't reconciled. Canon at first states there are five signers, suggesting that there are also five dragons. But then, the fifth dragon never shows up, and one of the signers dies, to boot. Only for canon to then teach us, oh, no, look, the signer marks can wander from one person to the next. And to add insult to injury (at least where the show's writing and internal consistency is concerned), the signer mark that was "freed up" by Roman/Rudger's death doesn't wander to Rua/Leo, who any attentive watcher would have expected to become a signer because it was heavily teased during the DS arc, but to Crow. Frankly, I'm not surprised many people were angry about this, but in case my disclaimer didn't make it clear, I don't think it's productive to pin this on Crow by claiming his cards became super popular irl. There was definitely an out-of-left-field writing choice made here, but the only answers as to "why" were left in the 5Ds' writer's room, I believe. At a guess, if you want me to throw out a non-sugarcoated theory as to why, though? They probably thought Crow would be a more interesting character for their target audience. He's a scrappy guy who sticks it to authority, he's brave, he's funny, he plays a cool deck, and most of all, unlike Rua, he never embarrasses himself in a duel on screen. Why am I highlighting that last part? Because I feel like people sometimes forget that the target audience for this show, at the time of its creation, were about twelve year-old boys. And you can feel free to contradict me on this, but most twelve year-old boys I've known and know don't want to project themselves onto a chracter who loses and gets his butt kicked a lot, and who's a bit awkward and steps in it sometimes, which is much closer to how actual twelve year-olds are—but that's exactly why they prefer the cooler characters. And Crow is the cooler character, by average twelve year-old boy logic, regardless of what the grownups of this fandom think.

So Crow gets a dragon and the writing doesn't bother explaining the how or why of it, let alone tackles any of the implications made by Black-Winged Dragon's existence as a signer dragon. (Like what does this mean for the larger worldbuilding? Does the Crimson Dragon actually have more than five servants, but chooses to only ever bestow five marks at a time? Can any "dragon" the Crimson Dragon chooses be a signer dragon, and it just so happens that the constellation of signer dragons is nearly the same as the original one in present-time 5Ds canon? Did the Crimson Dragon specifically elevate BWD to a signer dragon because it felt like it? Was BWD always supposed to be a signer dragon? Was Pearson supposed to be a signer, but died too early before the dark signer prophecy was set into motion? Am I overthinking this? (Yes.)) He also obtains his dragon in what feels like the weirdest way possible to me, because it suddenly??? Just decides to appear in his runner????? Out of nowhere??????

(Why is that here. How did it get there. Why did Pearson even put it in there. And HOW. Is it just wedged between the machinery or what???? And how on earth did Yusei, Bruno, and/or Crow never find it before this point considering how often someone tinkered on the Blackbird on screen???)

(This scenario, of course, also raises the question how the other signers even got their dragons. But like many other, interesting questions, this episode chooses not to interact with that one whatsoever.)

In short, this backstory is a bit of a mess, to say the least. For as much good as it tries to do by contextualising Crow's character and giving him something that sets him apart from the rest of the protag group, it feels like a rough draft of an episode was given the green light to be produced without any editing, judging by the contradictions and weird implications. As such, it harms Crow's character as much as it builds it, as evidenced by how much fandom backlash he still receives years later for the things that were bungled in this backstory and also in different aspects of his character writing.

Now, you may notice this post has gotten stupidly long due to just how convoluted the specific hangups of Crow's backstory are. I originally meant to cover the WRGP and even the Ark Cradle arc for Crow in this post, too, but due to how much there was to say about canon's attempt to finally make Crow a "proper" signer, I've decided that trying to force another two whole arcs in here would be a disservice to the analysis and the character, and also make this agonisingly long, so I'll close this part out here and write a part three, perhaps even a part four depending on how much material the WRGP gives me to work with.

There's one more thing I need to get back to before I finish up this part, though: The "screentime" discussion. I mentioned far above that I take issue with how some people seem to be using the word screentime, and now I can explain why. First, I want you to take a look back at the episodes I covered here, those being 65-95, essentially. Now, as anyone who usually dislikes Crow will tell you, Crow is present in most, if not all of these episodes. He's on screen. He's getting screentime, and, according to many people, hogging it, even. Okay. Now, I want you to look back up at the analysis. How many episodes did I cover where Crow actually gets something to do? As in, where he's either the focus of the plot or gets to contribute to it in a significant way? There's the old man Bashford episode. There's the Poppo Time clock episode. There's his two backstory episodes. That's four. Four episodes. If you're generous, you might add in the episode where he gets to narrate Yusei's backstory alongside Jack and the two fake Jack episodes where he gets to have an emotional moment or two with his foster-brother. If you're less generous, you'll note that none of these episodes have Crow actually interacting with the main antagonists in a meaningful way or set up anything important that pays off later. (Hell, he doesn't even get any, and I really mean, any meaningful setup interactions with Sherry, who ends up being his final-boss-level opponent during the final episodes! Aki gets more meaningful interactions with Sherry than him, not that this ever gets a payoff.) And this is why I take an issue with people claiming Crow gets so much "screentime" post DS arc. Because to me, "screentime" should be time spent letting a character act meaningfully within the story, which most of the pre-WRGP episodes aren't for Crow. He's on screen, yes, but in many episodes, it wouldn't matter one whit whether you replaced him with a nameless side character, which isn't exactly a great look for a supposed third of a protagonist trifecta. Perhaps I'm being too strict with my definition of "screentime" here, fair enough! But the claim that Crow hogs screentime already rubs the wrong way during this comparably unimportant arc, so I can't leave it alone. It feels very decidedly malicious to claim a character who during some episodes seems to only be there to provide exposition or make whatever jokes Yusei and Jack's personalities aren't suited to is stealing screentime from other characters. As for the WRGP duels and whether he's "hogging" anyone's screentime there, I'll dig into that nonsense in the next part, please be patient with me.

...Phew. Okay.

Now, before I leave you to wonder whether I'm every finishing my Crow analysis in full again, I want to attempt to do the same thing I did in part one—propose some changes that could have been made to the writing for Crow's character in order to make things slot in better with the rest of canon. With a small disclaimer, of course: These are just my suggestions as to how Crow's character could have fit into canon more smoothly and been done less of a disservice by his own backstory.

So. First, a quick-fire thing about the pre-WRGP, to get that out of the way: Crow, alongside Aki, is the only signer who didn't get his own confrontation with either Iliaster or their minions. (Yusei had Ghost, Jack had fake Jack, Rua and Ruka had Luciano.) Instead of having him confront a cranky old man in a scrapyard or Zora's son, they could have easily given him a very short side-story where he gets to experience the threat of Iliaster up close and personal, too. Hell, they could have very nicely cut the recap episode where Crow and Jack lie in the mess of Jack's terribly built coffee table and philosophise about Yusei's backstory for this, too. (As funny as their interaction about the coffee table and Jack lying on the floor with a perfectly intact coffee cup are.)

(Pictured: Two idiots (affectionate) contemplating life among the scraps of a shitty, broken coffee table.)

Then, there's the Pearson backstory, of course. So, here's the thing, I think two very different kinds of "fixes" could have worked here. Crucially, they both depend on Crow's status as a signer. I argued in part one that Crow might have worked better as a character if he hadn't actually become a signer, so I'll give both versions here. Let's go.

Option A: We try not to touch canon too much and Crow stays a signer.

How to do this? Frankly, I think what Crow's mark and Black-Winged Dragon were majorly missing was setup. The mark is the smaller offence here, since, fair enough, the idea that signer marks can wander from person to person isn't too out there for 5Ds canon. However, the lack of a dragon despite the alleged 5Ds stands out, and Life Stream Dragon's wasted setup only makes it worse. Thus, making Black-Winged Dragon make sense would have required giving him the same amount of foreshadowing as Life Stream Dragon, at the very least. And you know who could have been great for that? Sweet, ever-forgotten-by-canon Ruka. She was already shown having flashback dreams to the signer dragons' first battle against the dark signers, so who's to say she couldn't have gotten dreams about a shadowy, new dragon she's never seen before? Perhaps even dreams where she's not sure if the dragon is good or bad at first! It could have provided intrigue, it could have made the audience curious. To strengthen that, canon could have also bothered taking the question "hey why are there only four dragons now" seriously. No character in canon ever questions why there are five marks, but only four dragons. Even Rua, who was previously hopeful that he might secretly be a signer, never brings it up. If canon had bothered to actually point this mystery out, they could have used it not only to foreshadow Black-Winged Dragon, but to aid Life Stream Dragon's setup, too. What the fuck am I talking about, I hear you ask. Hear me out: Life Stream Dragon is shown way, way later down the line, long after the audience probably already accepted that it was simply never going to show up, literally bursting out of Power Tool Dragon's armour. We are not provided with an explanation as to why. Imagine if they had sprinkled in another dream Ruka could have had about the ancient past here. Imagine if they had used the opportunity to show something like, oh, during the battle, Life Stream Dragon got injured so badly they had to protect its wounded body with a suit of armour, in the hopes that it would heal. And with one original signer dragon out of commission, the Crimson Dragon sadly had to choose a replacement in between, because the Earthbound Immortals were sure to return. Bam. Black-Winged Dragon. Two signer dragons, set up simultaneously, without forcing the canon lore to do somersaults. Furthermore, to actually explain why Pearson had the dragon but wasn't a signer, they could have easily sprinkled in a flashback between him and Crow. Maybe Pearson could have mentioned how the dragon always feels like it's never really his, as a joking aside. It would have been enough for me to suspend my disbelief, you know? And then the rest of canon could have played out exactly as we know it. Crow could have confronted Bolger, could have obtained Black-Winged Dragon because maybe the dragon finally decided he was worth throwing its weight behind. The mystery behind the missing fifth dragon could have been solved, and it would have made for satisfying payoff without kneecapping Life Stream Dragon's setup or conjuring an extra dragon out of thin air. And really, stuff like the runner thing could have so easily been solved by simply picking one version (did he build it himself or inherit it?) and sticking with it. All it took was a little more care.

Option B: We assume Crow didn't actually become a signer, but try to keep his backstory intact.

Okay, this version works under the assumption that Crow, despite partaking in the final battle against Goodwin during the DS arc, didn't receive a signer mark. To make this work, I would, bluntly put, simply make it so that Black-Winged Dragon doesn't exist. Pearson can still play a powerful Blackwing monster during his flashback that Bolger wants to find and sell later, but it simply isn't that dragon. Really, Blackwings have enough to choose from there. If the backstory episodes had been placed a little later, say, during the pause in the middle of the WRGP, he could have even received something like Blackwing Full Armor Master here. (Yes, I know that card didn't exist at the time, but my point is that he could have simply received a powerup like Yusei and Jack did, instead of a completely new monster.) With this setup, they could have still added the intrigue of taking the question why there are only four signers now seriously. They could have still set up a mystery about why no one ever saw the fifth dragon outside of dreams. And it could have made Rua becoming a signer later, and in this version getting the tail mark instead of a completely new one, that much more satisfying. And Crow could have kept his "fuck destiny, I'm trying to save the world here"-attitude from the DS arc, providing a nice, amusing counterweight to our heroes chosen by an ancient Incan dragon deity. All it would have taken would have been not giving him a mark and switching out Black-Winged Dragon for something else.

So, take your pick, I guess. In the meantime, I'll try my best to work on part three faster than I did part two, lmao.

See you next time!

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