#just like. a total dick move. but whatever
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sad--tree · 6 months ago
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can i be real with u all. totally uncontroversial opinion incoming but james hetfield and kirk hammett can totally still Get It. like ik im on the Fucking Old Men website but like. woof.
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hsslilly-blog · 4 months ago
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#huntclaire#i was going to reblog this from the source but i didn't want to ramble in their mentions. this will be long#i've been thinking about this post for some days now and i couldn't write why it fit huntclaire so well but i think i can now#i like huntclaire because i do believe they bring out the best of each other but mostly. they bring out the worst of each other#<- and i think that's good. for their (eventual) relationship and for their individual characters#i think before hunt and claire can have a relationship they need to engage with each other in a sincere way. and they do not do that.#they are incapable of that. they're both stuck in their ideas of themselves/each other that they are simply blind to the reality of things#they are both... extremely flawed human beings. as we all are. but they're too self-important to realise that. which is another flaw#hunt thinks His arrogance is a virtue (delusional). claire thinks she's humble (also delusional).#both are very fond of pointing flaws in other people while being unaware of their own. they cannot TALK with each other as long as they#think like this. hunt needs to get over himself and claire needs to know herself#i must make you aware of things you do not see. unsure if it's meant to be taken just in a positive sense but i'm user wesposting#it's good when your partner challenges your idea of things. and i think these are two individuals that need to be constantly challenged#hunt needs someone to tell him to his face that he's kind of a dick sometimes. and claire needs someone to point out the flaws in her logic#they need to be questioned challenged they need to stop and think about themselves. they need to be wrong. only then they can be sincere#they need to be wrong and wrong again and then again. conflict between them is what moves them forward as characters#most of all they annoy each other so much because they see so much of themselves in one another. but acknowledging that is uncomfortable#it's uncomfortable to know yourself through the other#claire's case is interesting because she feels a ucs. Need to make hunt like her. but she's terribly unaware of what makes her unlikeable#<- she's fallen for her own façade. she needs to stop and dig through her bugs.#alsolol i like how both of them are hypocritical. i think it's fun when characters have double standards. i think they suck. but i like the#anyway i must make you aware of the things you do not see. there's things about each other that they also do not see. at first#when they are sincere. when they. Talk. hunt learns claire is not That brash and she can be very insightful when she wants to. does she kno#that? and like i Guess hunt can be caring sometimes even if he's like totally annoying and weird about it. whatever. does he know that?#the artist sees good and bad. they must also see the good and the bad in each other. i think.
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seilon · 6 months ago
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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thrilling-oneway · 8 months ago
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kotaki siblings best sibling pair in prsk. send tweet.
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icelogged · 2 years ago
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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness
#evidence of life#tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc#///////////////////////​///////////////////////​///////////////////////​///////////////////////​////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide#i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious#suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel#that i can take total control full autonomy#anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario#like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol#anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc#i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into#whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and#his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my ​temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness
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dolcekissy · 5 months ago
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disclaimer // 18+ content. this story includes being rafes step sister, unprotected sex, p in v, kinda pervy rafe, breeding kink, and i think that's it idk
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you knew it was wrong ─ fucking your step brother while your boyfriend was out doing whatever the hell he was doing. you didn't care that you were cheating on topper at this point but with his best friend that just so happens to be your step brother? what the fuck.
topper had been ignoring your texts lately and going out with his friends a lot more than usual ─ turning his location off while he's out with them. he pushed you over the edge when he blocked you tonight after telling you he'll be busy tonight. you ran to rafes room with tears in your eyes that eventually led up to your current situation,
"that lil fucker ─ shit girl." he leans back a bit to watch your pretty pussy swallow his cock whole, sucking in a breath. "he's been treating you like shit lately huh? fuckkk ─ big bro will take care of you, yeah? yeahhh, shh shh s'okay baby" he grabs one your hands intertwining them in his and moving his other to rub harsh circles on your puffy clit.
you whine out totally overstimulated by his cock stretching you out and the newfound pleasure of him playing with your sensitive pussy. "rafeee ─ s'too much."
he grinned down at you while rubbing your clit harder. "you can take it. i hear you faking with toppers dumbass when you sneak him in. you need some real dick." you clench around him, tears staining your cheeks while he pumps in and out of at a speed that has you seeing little white dots around his room.
"fuck baby ─ this what toppers missing out on right now? feels s'good. so fucking good." you moan out loudly which is quickly muffled by his hand flying to cover your mouth. "cant let the whole house know your cock drunk off your stepbrothers dick, yeah? stay quiet doll."
rafe can tell you're close by the way your pussy flutters around his cock and the way you grip onto his large biceps like your life depends on it. he's close too, so fucking close ─ he's been waiting to fuck you for what felt like years now. if anything it made him happy top was very obviously cheating on you. now you could finally be all his.
"shit baby, m'gonna cum. gonna let me cum in this pussy?" rafe is pounding you into the mattress, still rubbing your sensitive bud. you nod eagerly, barely understanding what he just said.
he knows you're too cock drunk to understand ─ just nodding your pretty little head to anything he says. "really gonna let step bro nut in you? gonna let me fill you with my babies? nasty, nasty girl." you completely let go letting your orgasm wash over you, clenching even harder on his cock.
of course rafe sticks to his word and cums deep inside of you, fucking the cum up into you. he leans back to watch it drip out of you and onto his sheets. "fucking hell." he looks back up at your fucked out state ─ eyes glossy, lips red and swollen, hair a fuckin' mess. yet you're begging him for more. "oh yeahhh. babydoll just needed to get a taste of some real dick, huh? you want some more? yeah? shit. yeahhh, goood girl." he says sliding right back into you.
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artdcnaldson · 8 months ago
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NEED art and patrick to find out I'm a virgin and offer to teach me how to kiss and how to fuck and use eachother as examples and guide me and tell me I'm doing a good job and reward me for being such a good student and come back later and quiz me to see if I remember everything they taught me ugh obsessed with them individually and as a unit
This has lived rent free in my mind for literally forever. I can’t stop thinking about it, it haunts my every waking moment.
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Rating: E (18+)
Warnings: Making out, Handjob lessons, guys being pervs, not a love triangle they just all want to fuck each other
A/N: unedited bc I wrote this while on the clock okay whatever. Enjoyyyy and if u want me to continue this lmk >:)
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“I think it’s sweet,” Patrick said, and you could hear the amusement in his voice, practically dripping from every syllable. “The last American virgin. You belong in a museum.”
You rolled your eyes and tossed your empty Taco Bell cup at him— the ice rattled and it leaked a puddle of condensation onto the ground. “You could try not to be a dick about it.”
Art’s dorm room was hot and sticky thanks to a faulty AC, which meant the three of you lounging on the floor by his open window, sucking down soda watered down by melted ice cubes. You were down to a T-shirt and shorts, they were down to their boxers. It wasn’t lost on you that it was an intimate situation to be in— barely dressed, crammed into the shoebox of a dorm. And of course Patrick had dug his fingers in until you admitted your secret— you had made it all the way to college totally unfucked.
Patrick leaned forward, smiling the smarmy smile that tended to wear at your last nerve. “So you’re a virgin, but like,” he leaned in, so close you could feel body heat radiating from him. He dropped his voice, just above a whisper. “How much of a virgin, really? You’ve at least gone to third, right?” You glared, but shook your head.
“Second?” Art supplied, suddenly jumping in with an eager sort of curiosity.
“What? No, I don’t even know what that means,” you admitted. You sighed before you spoke up. “I’ve only ever kissed one guy and one girl, and it was during a game of spin the bottle, like, junior year.”
“How?” Patrick asked.
Your brows furrowed. “How? I spun the bottle, it landed on the person, I leaned in, put my lips against theirs, and that was it.”
Patrick sighed. “Just fucking show me how.” He looked at you expectantly, inching even closer.
With an annoyed sigh, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his— mouth closed, lips firm. When you sat back, Patrick and Art were both grinning.
“What?” You asked with a frown.
“That’s how you kiss on the playground in elementary school,” Art said, unable to contain his laughter. “C’mere.”
You crawled forward, stopping in front of the blond. His hand settled on your jaw, coaxing you forward.
His lips met yours softly, sweetly. It was easy to lose yourself in the feeling of Art’s mouth, in the gentle brushes of his lips against yours and the way he held your face so tenderly.
The feeling of his tongue pressing against the seam of your lips was strange, but you welcomed it, letting him lick into your mouth.
Each pass of his tongue against yours drew you deeper and deeper into it, into him. You moved into his lap without realizing it, kissing him with sweet, timid laps of your tongue.
Art pulled back first, his cheeks soft and pink and so pretty. “See? That’s how you’re supposed to kiss someone. That was really good.”
You laughed softly, and moved off of his lap sheepishly. Patrick leaned forward, brushing your hair back, holding your face in his hand.
“Okay, show me what Art showed you,” he instructed, then leaned in.
Kissing Patrick was different than kissing Art. He was hungrier, more insistent. His tongue pressed into your mouth like he wanted to chart every inch. You did your best to match what he offered, to kiss the way Art had just shown you, sweetly, like you really meant it.
And you did mean it. Patrick’s hands moved along your side, up until they cupped your tits through your shirt. You moaned softly into his mouth— the sound was muffled, met with a moan of his own. He gave an experimental squeeze of your tits and you whined softly. So he did it again, amused by the pretty, sweet noises you mewled out.
Patrick was getting hard, pressing against your thigh. It was a new sensation that you were hyper aware of as you unconsciously ground yourself against him.
You pulled back first, cheeks burning hot after you remembered Art was right beside you. You tucked unkempt hair behind your ear, smiled bashfully. “How was I?”
“Good,” Patrick said.
At the same time Art supplied, “So good.”
You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Okay. Cool.”
Art was squirming, fidgeting, holding a pillow over his lap. Patrick was less covert— opting to openly adjust himself, drawing more attention to the fact that he was hard. You rolled your eyes and stole the nearest cup you could find, sipping at watered down Mountain Dew.
“Do you want me to leave?” You teased, raising an eyebrow. Your teeth dug into the plastic straw as you looked between the two of them.
Art stammered, mortified, but Patrick just smiled dizzyingly over at you. “I can teach you something else. You got to first base, so why don’t you steal second?”
You rolled your eyes, but heat flared behind your cheeks. Jesus Christ, he was such a smug asshole. “I still don’t know what that means,” you said, feeling a little embarrassed.
He grinned and mimed jerking off. Your eyes widened, and you laughed softly. “That would be weird,” you said, half-believing it. “Like, if I did jerk one of you off, that leaves one of you just watching.”
You glanced at Art, who looked just as interested as Patrick did, and your heart stammered nervously. “What if I show you how you do it on Art? Look at him— he’s the perfect little practice dummy.” Patrick reached over, pinching at Art’s cheek until the blond kicked his shin.
“Show me?” You echoed. “Like… you’re going to do it to him, and I do it to you?”
Patrick nodded, leaning into Art’s side, his smarmy smile dissolved into something needier. Art swallowed hard, lips parted slightly as he looked over at Patrick.
Patrick’s lips met his slowly, hungrily. You watched wide eyed as Patrick deepened the kiss, as Art eagerly accepted the other boy’s tongue into his mouth.
Patrick threw the pillow out of Art’s lap and sent it careening into the desk on the opposite side of the room. Your eyes widened at the sight of Art, hard and tenting his boxers. Patrick palmed him in his large hands making the blonde whimper into his mouth and buck up, seeking friction.
You swallowed hard, biting down on the straw as you watched Patrick tug at the elastic of Art’s boxers. Art lifted his hips to allow Patrick to tug them down his thighs, just enough to expose his cock to both of you.
“See,” Patrick gasped, leaning back from their kiss. Art chased his lips fruitlessly, mouth ajar, waiting for more. “He’s so fucking easy. Come feel.”
You moved closer, looking at Art for permission. When he nodded, you reached out, letting your fingertips graze the soft skin of his shaft. He exhaled a shuddery breath, eyes fluttering shut. Patrick’s hand covered yours, guiding you to squeeze around his length.
He was warm under your touch, silky soft, pulsing in your grip. Your heart hammered just at that— at the feel of him in your hand. “Feels nice, huh? Knowing how much he wants you.” You nodded, then slid your fist up, testing the waters. Art moaned softly, throbbed in your grip, aching for more. Patrick smiled like the cat who got the cream. “Hands off, just watch me.”
Patrick spat into his hand and replaced your hand with his own. The second Patrick curled his fingers around Art and started stroking him slowly, the blond was mewling for more. “Fuck,” he moaned, his forehead knocking against Patrick’s, mouth open, panting. “That’s good, feels good.”
You watched Patrick rub his thumb over Art’s tip, eyes widening as Art really whimpered for it, hips thrusting up into Patrick’s fist, chasing more of the pleasure the brunet offered.
“You get it now?” Patrick asked. You nodded quickly, and he tugged down his own boxers. “Fuck, okay— fucking show me.”
Your heart hammered with nerves, but you nodded. You held your hand out and spit into it, mimicking what Patrick had done before you wrapped your hand around his cock.
He felt bigger in your hands, but you didn’t say that. One, you worried it might piss Art off, and two, he didn’t need the ego boost. And he was slick, beading precum at his tip so each pass of your hands felt slicker and slicker.
And you couldn’t help but want to be an asshole. “You’re wet like a girl,” you said with a smirk, gliding your thumb over his tip.
And he was shameless, nodding with a sly grin. “That means I like you.” He panted, moaning softly. “Besides, I bet your fucking panties aren’t dry right now.”
Well, fuck. You tried to ignore the rush of heat in your belly that those words caused, to focus only on the glide of your hand on Patrick’s cock— up and down, copying his pace on Art, copying the ways he’d squeeze and twist his hand.
Art was moaning, rutting up into the tight sheath of Patrick’s fist, the muscles of his abdomen tensing and relaxing in unsteady jerks beneath his soft skin.
“Fuck— switch, switch,” Patrick said quickly. Art whined when Patrick stopped touching him, but it was ignored. “Want you to feel it when he comes.”
He guided your hand back onto Art’s cock and nodded for you to move. “Fuck, your hand’s so soft,” Art groaned. “Faster, faster, fuck—“ He was practically begging. You swallowed, increased the pace, squeezed him a little tighter.
Art was touching Patrick— jerking him off while you brought him closer and closer to finishing. Patrick leaned in, kissed you deeply, pulled Art in too until the three of you were a mess of tongues and lips and spit and hands.
Art came first— coating your hand in warm, slick cum, throbbing in your grip. He was panting into your and Patrick’s mouths, moaning softly as you continued to slowly work him through it. Patrick came next, once Art redoubled his effort, focused on making Patrick add to the mess covering your hands.
Patrick was loud, pornographic, messy. Art brought a cum covered hand between his lips, cleaning it up. Your eyes widened.
“Art, c’mon, you’re scandalizing her,” Patrick said, like you weren’t even there.
“Shut up,” you said, shoving him. He laughed and pulled his boxers back up. Art followed suit, and the three of you were left gross and sweating in the heat. You wiped your hand off on one of their discarded shirts and gave a sheepish smile.
They sat there, expectantly. Waiting for you to make the next call. There was a level of want in you, need, but the thought of asking for them to take care of it was mortifying. “Do you want to watch a movie or something now?”
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screampied · 10 months ago
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hey i LOVE your work and ykk ou ur toji is just like… UGHHHH
could you do a mean toji who just mocks the reader and makes fun of her while she gets off on him (like idk his thighs or whatever) or when he fucks her? i feel like you would write this very well;)
❤︎ ໋𓈒 toji mocking your moans while you ride him
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warnings. fem! reader, thigh riding & cowgirl, dirty talk, praise, ōrgasm denial, breath play, spanking. + thank you sm !! mdni
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“we’re quite handsy today, huh,” he’d mumble once his eyes flicker down towards your nude body—you suck in a single breath as he’s got you just barely straddling his lap. with an unsatisfied pout, you’re just here moving up and down against his beefy thigh—oh so desperately wishing that you were riding him instead of his stupid, stupid leg. toji’s amusement only fuels the more you frown and scowl, pawing your hands up his perfectly chiseled thighs before he snickers. “what’s the issue? my thigh not enough to satisfy the pretty girl?”
“no..” you immediately say, throwing your arms around his broad shoulders. he could hear the irritation linger on your tone before you bury your face into his neck . . a good waft of his loud cologne scent infiltrating inside your nostrils.
two rugged hands drag down your back, sending you multiple shivers from his touch before he replies in a hoarse tone. “well, that’s too damn bad,” and his chortling laugh only makes you throb from how close it’s against your ear—fuck. “actually, y’know what. i feel like bein’ nice today, baby. you want more than my thigh? how ‘bout ya jus’ ask me nicely.”
“but—”
“but—nothin’ girl, now speak,” toji utters, feeling your grinding against his thigh—grabbing your chin softly before making you stare him right in the eyes. he slyly grins, a thumb tracing down your dampened lip. “i’ll wait.. talk to me nice, girl.”
your eyes avert towards his dick, just laying there on his stomach—so ridiculously lengthy, a mere tannish color coats it - including his leaky tip that stares right back at you.
it looks so good, you wanted him inside so bad that it hurts—he could tell too, you found it hard to stay still as you made a cute attempt at rutting against him once more.
“i— i want you, ‘toji,” you claw at his body with doe lit eyes, his swollen base—so full of unused seed that you desperately yearned for it to be inside of you, filling up your pretty little womb. “want you s'bad.”
“oh i know you do, babygirl,” he rasps, he can’t help but notice the sudden boner that makes his jaw tighten. coarse big hands grip both of your hips before he gawks at you with that same tantalizingly smug grin. “can’t just spoil ya all the time though, talk more for me. i like listenin’ to that needy voice.”
ugh, you start to grow impatient and he only laughs at your sheer annoyed expense.
“please,” you murmur out in a whiney tone, slowly wrapping your clammy fingers around his length. he doesn’t stop you, he lets you touch all over him, aligning yourself with the fat weight of his cock that was just aching to be buried within you. “i wanna ride you so bad, ‘toj. need it, need your cum.”
“girl you don’t need . . . shit,” he swallows, a cold sweat breaking onto him.
you’re fucking hot—especially whenever you just take what you want, toji could have creamed his pants at just your voice and your voice alone.
you had him so hard, he sucks his teeth in total exasperation before he feels you slowly start to sink him down. “fuck, y’er such a little brat,” he mutters, feeling the warmth of your walls swallow him whole. it was a moist feeling, you were already a bit soaked—purely from riding his thigh for how many minutes, you weren’t even sure anymore, nor did you even relatively care. “ride me then, do y’er fuckin’ worst then.”
“shut up and i will.” you snap back.
he rolls his eyes, feeling your ass thrash against his lap and it makes him squeeze the plush mounds of your rear.
“eh, i really don’t like that mouth,” and he spanks you harder, this time it stings and you moan—he’s so thick that your stomach starts to seize once you feel him gradually reach into the depths of your pussy. “when you ride me, there shouldn’t be any back talk, girl,” and he grabs your chin for the nth time, pressing a sweltering wet kiss right onto your glossed lips. “. . . are we clear or do i gotta let this pussy know what goes ‘round here.”
…so cocky,
you gnaw at your lip—fighting back the urge to roll your own eyes backwards before you thrust against him harder.
it’s relentless, the brutal skin-to-skin contact makes a raw moan harshly yank from the back of your throat as your hands continue to claw on his chest.
his bare chest that was already glistening with droplets of sweat. he was so toned, his pecs—his nipples that were swollen and a sheeny pink color, you even attempt to lean in to lap your tongue against his nipple but he lightly shoves you back.
“leave those alone, slut,” and you conceal back a laugh—by 'those', he was most likely referring to his tits broad pecs. “ride me, ‘n hurry up. ‘m gonna fall asleep at this rate.”
toji never knew how to simply shut the fuck up, such a talkative man—whispering filthy sweet nothings into your ear as you’re taking every thick inch of his cock. he stretches you out so good that you’re already whimpering, eyes goggling profusely at the way his angry tip just thwacks and thwacks against your g-spot. “s-shiiit, toji,” you’d curse out in a sharp breath, continuing to drag your hips further against him at such a pace.
in and out, in and out, you’re rotating your waist a bit before he grunts lowly, head throwing back and he smacks your ass yet again, and again, and again. “fuck yeah, ride me jus’ like that. such a good girl, takin’ this dick like the good girl you are, mhm.”
“t—tojiiiii,” you’d mewl out right against the flapping shell of his ear. your cunt felt so stuffed, a straining exhale snatches from your lungs before you whimper once his base kisses against your ass. his base was so full, you only imagined how much build up cum was stored in there just for you.
“t—tojiiiiiii,” he mimics your tone as you mash against him, the sofa he sits on sinking down a bit from both weights combined. you pout once he starts mocking you, a gruff laugh dies from his throat before he squeezes your right ass cheek. “feels good, yeah? keep moanin’ for me like that.”
“shut up, s-shut uppp,” you moan, burying your face into his neck. doing so, you get a concise whiff of his cheap cologne and it smells so good. you’re a mess, spasming as your stomach continues to seize before he grabs both of your hips so that you could slam down onto him even harder. “close, toji. ‘m really close, fuck.”
he groans, feeling the hefty weight of his balls smack against your skin each time you move up, then down, then up . . . all over again. toji’s a big guy, it was no secret. the way your pussy constricts around his length, paving way for more movement . . . simply hypnotizing.
“yeahhh,” he snarls, strong hands still attached to your ass. green irises of his dilate, his eyes turn hooded for a second as he glances back at you. an entire mess, tongue all lolled out and you’re feeling it steadily about to approach. “look so fuckin’ dumb,” he points out with a subtle head shake, grabbing your chin again. “my dumb baby,” he corrects himself and your pout softens.
he’s so fucking big— you’ll point this out a million times if you have to, the stretch was so immaculate.
toji groans, pressing another saturated kiss onto your lips and you taste a brief mixture of his saliva and alcohol—presumably rum, you lean into his touch before feeling his big hands snake near your neglected tits. his growing stubble tickles against your face as you quicken your pace. so good, so fucking good.
all you can think about is that you’re getting off, you’re about to finish— gush out so much, you feel a familiar pit in your stomach arise. he feels you starting to shake and twitch, it’s cute.
“. . easy, now,” he teases, finding it adorable how whenever your orgasm approaches—you’d be an entire mess, pussy convulsing all on his cock as if it was the first time you ever took him. “oh my just look at that pout,” he points out, reaching towards your chin before bringing you all up close towards his face. not to mention, toji’s so pretty up close—ten times more intimidating with his low hazy eyes and wide sleazy smile. “such a baby. want me to talk ya through it?”
“p—please,” you whine, barely even giving him a chance to finish his seductive sentence.
with a playful eyebrow furrow, he makes you grind against him even harder. the sofa creaks and you squeak out a whimper, feeling yourself about to make such a mess. “please, please,” he copies your tone again, and it’s so embarrassing. toji purposely pitches his tone to sound like you and he snickers at the growing glare on your face. “please what, babygirl?”
with an irritated grumble, your flimsy arms still thrown over him, you moan out a desperate, “please let me c-cum. toji, i want it s’bad, pleaseplease let me be a messy girl.”
“. . . ahhhh,” he parts his lips, and he’s oh so dramatic, flickering his eyes towards the ceiling as if he’s deep in thought. “let me think about it.”
you didn’t know how much you could take, you’re sopping wet and his raspy deep voice that was right up against your earlobe doesn’t make things any better.
jagged breaths rip out from your esophagus as your shaky limbs could barely keep themselves up. he cackles, feeling your soft quavering lips kiss near his face, brushing against the scar that runs near the right lower part of his lip. it twitches as a response from your touch, how cute..
“hurry the fuck up then, lay it all on me,” he finally grunts, witnessing the way your dilated irises light up at his sudden permission— you whimper out, finally coming undone and it’s like a rough wave that crashes over you. the calm before the storm, once it comes, you’re left pulsating with his thick dick still buried inside of your cunt. you hug him tight with your walls like a vice, never wanting to let go. “you make such the silliest noises, girl.”
“s— shut up,” you moan, the under parts of your thighs aching heavily as you’re still in the midst of your teeth-shattering release. it feels so good, your maw drops and the contracts inside of your pussy only duplicates. it’s mouth watering, you grind against him just slightly and he spanks your ass, head going back. “i- i love you, toji.”
“i love me too,” he jibes with a cocky grin, sweat beads racing down the sides of his brow. you shoot him a glare and he rolls his eyes for the nth time. “. . kidding,” and he plants a kiss near your forehead, rough hand still attached to your right ass cheek like velcro. “i love you too, sweetheart.”
you’re still panting, but he’s clearly not done talking— it’s toji, figures.
“now bend the fuck over,” he grouses, eyes gazing towards your ass— a tongue goes against his lips like he was preparing for an appetizing meal. “i’m not finished. we gotta work on that lazy arch of yours, girl.”
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reshinless · 4 months ago
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“just the tip” turing into “i know you can take it just a few more rounds” with kinich? im totally normal about this man i promise 🙂‍↕️
7 rounds, with a side of coffee please!
nsfw utc, marathon sex if u squint, sex mention + the morning after, usage of 'cunt' but think of this how u want (I don't specify pronouns), praise kink, mentions of blindfold/rope (not the main point), shower sex somewhat (again not the main point)
wc: ~0.9k. artwork belongs to @/leisomnium on x, go check out their page.
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he promised you it'd be just his tip snug inside your cunt. why are his thrusts soo mean now! (you asked for it)
all happening right after a celebration party mualani throws- she offers you two a house to share before going home. (three-day celebration in which you both do it on the third day)
he said he'd be gentle, that was four rounds ago. it felt as if he was losing his sanity inside you (literally), and he only wanted more.
the coos, and whispers against the shell of your ear- fuck you couldn't help but get turned on. he could feel the hefty amount of essence, and wetness on his shaft, as it spread everywhere.
the different speeds you could observe throughout the seven separate rounds you both underwent, he was rougher in the middle- vanilla towards the end.
spending the first few hours letting your tight cunt get used to his girth and length. fuck it was already the morning after but it's as if it was still there, your legs trembling at the thought.
he loved how loud you were last night though, he could hear the sounds of animals nearby getting startled. and a knock on the door from a neighbor, haha.
he was against the idea of tying you down to the bed or blindfolding you at first. but he will give in if you ask nicely, say please :)
he prefers he handles you himself, your skin on his, nothing in between. but it definitely would help him out by not needing to hold you down. the only times he does do it on his own when you don't ask is when you've been a little more than just 'bad'.
his tattoos glow a little when he gets pleasured, so in a way, you get clues on your own when you rode him, which spot he preferred inside you, or which position he preferred... (it was cowgirl by the way)
his hands cause marks on your skin, and he genuinely feels bad. he always offers help to cover them by wrapping his jacket around your waist or making his headwear into a scarf to cover up the hickeys on your nape.
yet you couldn't discard the feeling of the previous night. would always remind you whenever you tried to move the next. using nearby objects for support 'till kinich noticed, and wrapped your arm around his neck instead to support you, or full-on bridal style, whatever you want.
how he whispered "don't worry, let's just get you to the bed" sounded so familiar to the tone he used yesterday to tell you how good you took his cock inside you. about how deep it was... or how he'd fill you up to your very brim. "not a drop wasted." word for word.
"i know you can take it for a lil' longer, sweetheart... c'mon..." is all you heard in the moment as his godly speed along with merciless thrusts ironically enough. his mouth lusted praise into your hears, while his dick said much else.
he spent a few rounds thinking about what position he wanted to fuck you in the most. but he was stuck between his top three; missionary, mating press, and cowgirl. he couldn't decide but doggy style was a close second.
he much preferred a position in which he could stare at your features when doing so. like missionary- he could lean in to kiss your sweaty forehead, and hold your hips close to his as he repeatedly slammed himself inside.
or mating press where he could get a pretty lil' close-up of your face, he could feel your legs get tired while he trusted inside though, and honestly felt bad, that's when he started slowing down. instead of the ruthless pounding, he'd be a regular to grinded his angry red tip against your g-spot in hopes it's just as pleasurable as the previous feeling.
maybe it was cowgirl, wherein you'd do all the work. and he could watch how good your cunt swallows him whole, or how your head threw back in pleasure because of his cock. nothing turned him on more than your own expression. gosh, he could already feel himself harden at the sudden thought of it.
honestly would be the same for reverse cowgirl but if he were going to be real with you- he'd rather watch your expression range from your eyes rolling to the back of your head rather than for those beautiful faces you make be faced away from him. he could care less about seeing how you take it from behind somewhat.
it was the sixth round in which you remembered he was the loudest in, and in all honesty, it wasn't even supposed to go up 'till seven rounds. but you looked just so.. appetizing in your bathrobe. the fact you trust him so much enough to shower with him, he still blushed at the thought even when you've been together for about three years now.
he could feel his orgasm build up again as he pinned you to the wall of the steamy hot springs. shit, he knows mualani would get mad; having to clean the pool again but he couldn't help but release on your back as it arched, you both climaxing together.
maybe he did have a favorite though, and it didn't necessarily concern his shaft rubbing against you this time.
the way you tasted definitely changed his point of view on intercourse. damn did it taste better than any meat stew he's eaten and made before!
but how could he not? you forgot your last pair of clothing for the night, having to borrow his and fuck. he's turned on again from the sight of you in his clothing.
too late to realize when he already lifted the shirt up a little to seep his tongue into your hole. fingers already working over your clit, making sure you feel everything.
oh he knew how much you liked when he hummed in response to your little whimpers to turn them into moans, and whines. of his name? of course!
you tasted nice, especially when your gummy walls clenched around his fingers as they interchanged positions with his tongue, he landed pretty little kitty licks onto your clit. he added another digit up into your entrance as they curled riiiiight theeeree...
flashback over, the night was done and dawn arrived as kinich decided on just carrying you bridal style home using his rope to quickly travel back instead of using mualani's koholasaurus like previously done (took two days to arrive LOL).
mualani arrived at the hot springs near to the home she lent you both to, cookies and milk in hand. "man.. i didn't even get to say goodby- is that.. white in the water.. KINIIIIIIIIICH!!!"
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sacrificiallane · 15 days ago
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too sweet ۶ৎ  percy jackson smut
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cw: heavy make out turned dry humping. (bodily fluids), drenched underwear, horny teens! percy being the sweetest boyfriend ever. allusion to giving head (it doesn’t really happen, though)
not proofread, oops
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"i love you," kiss, "love you," kiss, "gods ―"
Percy Jackson speaks pretty nonsense when your plush lips trail further and further down his body. he swears this is his Elysium ― pushed into his sea themed sheets and getting utterly loved by you.
"so, so good to me, pretty girl." and you live by his constant praise.
only in his blue boxers he's literal putty under your teasing hands, as your mouth trails a path over each of his freckles, seemingly forming constellations with just your sweet mouth on him.
it's muscle memory when his hips lift off the bed, trying to get even more friction from how easily your making out had turned into... this.
your lips easily find the rough patch of his happy trail, and Percy stutters a little in his breathing. he is closing his eyes in anticipation, his fingers already finding space in your hair.... and then ―
― and then your mouth quickly moves back up, almost as if you're rushing to get back into familiar territory. it's the only indication he needs, to know that you're not just merely trying to tease him.
his sea green eyes slowly flutter open again, and Percy tries to find his thoughts somewhere that isn't tugged under his waistband.
his voice is all hazy when his eyes connect with yours again.
"you scared to go lower?"
and his question was so genuine ― you wanted to cry. he wasn't being pushy, and nothing in his tone suggested that he was disappointed or upset. no, your boyfriend was genuinely checking in with you, to see if you were okay with all this.
he then found your gaze turn a bit sheepish, almost... shy, as you slowly nodded your pretty head at him. "uhm, yea," he heard you whisper, and a flush overtook your features, "it's scary down there. i don't know what to do with... all that."
oh. oh….
Percy can't even stop himself from snorting a bit at your answer. leave it to his partner, to describe his most sensitive part as 'scary'. he finds it all too sweet, too!
of course, there was barely anything you could do 'wrong' with it, in his mind, anyway. but Percy is the last person to push you into something you aren't completely comfortable with.
the guy would happily just let you kiss him silly, if that's all you're comfy with!
"sweetheart," his gaze softens at your admission, and his thumb softly brushes over your cheek, just to see you look less worried about his reaction. "that's totally fine," he hums, and watches you closely, "we can try some other time. or we can never try again. whatever you'd like. i'm happy when you’re happy, honestly."
but it's the way you tell him that you totally don't want to stop this completely! you have urges too, after all. so Percy finds himself greedily licking into your mouth, until further thoughts just melt away. he's quick to flip the both of you over, hovering above you, all while making pretty little sounds of pleasure that mingle with your own.
his body molds perfectly against your own, and a roll of his hips is enough to leave you dumb. your lips are all shiny and swollen when he's done with devouring your face, and a lopsided smile splits over his lips that make your tummy flutter. he‘s on you before you can even take a moment to breathe, already thrusting ― gentle, slow ― against your clothed most sensitive part.
you‘re so overwhelmed by his sheer gentleness, that your own hips desperately buckle against his! and Percy can only watch in awe as your legs open wider for him, as to beckon him even closer.
he doesn’t need you to suck his dick! no, Percy prefers you just like this… sprawled open and eager for him to take care of you.
your hand seeking out his own, is enough to have his own stomach flutter. he is quick to interlock his fingers with yours, pressing them into the mattress right beside your head and keeping them there...
and Percy is almost embarrassed at how much he is really leaking through his boxers. it creates a wet squelching patch right where his tip keeps rubbing into your clit, and the mere sight of such has him less embarrassed and even more eager to make you both feel good.
his eyes quickly find yours again, knowing that you need just a bit more coaxing to really find your peak like this. "it's okay pretty girl," the son of poseidon coos gently, closely watching your facial expression. he knows you're close.
you swallow thickly, not able to look anywhere else but him. his muscles move with his trusting, making you all dizzy with how much you love him! how good he makes you feel, too. "Perce―" your breath hitches when your walls flutter around nothing. you're so so close, yet not quite there yet...
"i know, i know." your little whine makes his hand tighten around your own, has his hips grind harder against your clothes pussy, because he is right there with you!
when his hand comes down to press and rub over the fabric of where your sweet clit is hidden underneath, is when you find yourself finally falling apart...
he is so boyfriend, im crying (inspo from a tiktok i watched)
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jaewritesfic · 7 months ago
Text
Melon!AU Part 3
The creature's surprise surprises everyone else.
“It understands English?” Dick asks with a thoughtful tone lacing his voice.
“Or recognizes the motion of the wave as something benign,” Damian proposes, tense as a live wire as he keeps eagle eyes on Cass below.
Cass raises her hands, and though she does so slowly no amount of surprise keeps the creature from restarting that odd, piercing warning sound.
“Don't be afraid,” she says slowly and clearly, her hands moving to sign the words as she speaks. “I'm a friend.”
Despite there being no iris or pupil to be found in those glowing eyes, the way they dart back and forth between her hands and her mask is clear to see.
It doesn't stop growling, but it does shift uneasily. 
Cass's hands move to sign without speaking.
Do you understand me?
Nothing, save for the flicking of bottomless eyes.
“Do you understand me?”
The creature twitches, like being asked such a thing is a surprise. It takes a long moment - as if the question must be some kind of trap - before its head jerks in a jittery, hesitant nod.
More than one person's breath catches audibly over comms.
The set of Cass's shoulders softens in a way that telegraphs a smile, one that can't be seen past her mask.
“Nice to meet you,” she says with her voice.
Knows English but not sign, she says with her hands.
Smart girl. With that knowledge she can sign to the Bats without the creature realizing her hands are saying anything different than her mouth.
As soon as nice to meet you spills into the open air, the creature stops growling. For something with such an inhuman, blank face it telegraphs shock and confusion loudly.
Actually, it…it's almost like Bruce can feel those things himself, like something brushing against the base of his brain. It's disturbing and fascinating all at once.
Perhaps the feelings of dread and disturbance being near it causes is more than just fear of the unknown.
If it can project its own feelings, can it also sense theirs? Bruce isn't sure how he feels about that idea.
“Are you hurt?”
Definitely guarding chest. Bleeding.
“Bleeding?” Tim asks. 
“Chest hurts?”
Bleeding green.
“It's bleeding the Lazarus water?” Tim hisses. 
“I'm sorry,” Jason's voice cuts in on comms. “Your creature is bleeding what now?”
“Unconfirmed, but the color is similar,” Bruce says.
Jason is on standby, gracious enough to be patrolling a little further than his usual to cover the gaps while they deal with whatever this is.
Gracious is actually a stretch considering the choice words he'd had about the request when asked. Still, the protests had been more routine than truly venomous.
Bruce suspects he's mostly displeased with not being on site if his siblings need him in the face of a total unknown.
“Do you need help?” Cass's voice rings out softly again.
Doesn't want to admit injury.
“A doctor?”
There are flinches all around as that finally gathers a marked reaction, and a negative one. The sound is like nails on a chalkboard, like a million light bulb filaments breaking and fizzling out. The cadence is odd, almost like the creature is trying to speak.
“No doctor! Okay, no doctor. It's okay.”
Afraid. Terrified.
The sound stutters out again, that odd feeling against the base of Bruce's skull and the wide eyes of the creature projecting confusion and disbelief over the easy acquiescence. 
This is not an entity that expects to have its desires or fears cared about. Bruce has a bad feeling it's an expectation borne from experience.
Once again, he thinks with a sick feeling about the fact that he hadn't stopped to consider the creature might be reasoned with until Cass stepped in.
“Can I come closer?”
The creature whines as if it's a frightened stray, not a shadowy nightmare. Its claws click against the pavement in a manner that feels distinctly nervous. 
“Please? I won't hurt you.”
Tired. Can't go for much longer and knows it.
They all watch closely as the creature's eyes flicker up and towards the line of police cruisers and officers at the very end of the alley, then back to Cass.
Its claws keep clicking. 
The pool of green below it might be bigger, or it might just be the new knowledge that the substance is like blood messing with Bruce's nerves.
“I'm coming over. Slow. I won't hurt you.”
Weighing their options. Either me or cops. Knows that too.
True to her word, Cass moves slowly.
The creature's tail lashes and it grumbles its unrest, but it doesn't snarl like before and it doesn't lash out even when she's certainly close enough for those long spindly arms to reach.
Cass sinks to her knees just feet from it, posture intentionally open. Carefully, she offers another wave and a pleased, “Hello. See? All okay.”
Bruce's heart seizes. For just a moment, the wide glowing eyes angled to look up at Cass read as painfully young. Like a frightened child.
“You need help,” Cass almost whispers, hands laying on her thighs in plain sight. “No doctors, I know. But maybe a safe place? Come with me?”
Surely the comms have never been so silent as they are while Cass turns her hands over and extends them, like she's inviting the creature to place its own in her palms.
“Keep you safe. I promise.”
For a long few moments, the creature is so silent and still it may well have frozen in time.
Then there's a mourning keen that nearly buckles Bruce at the knees and the creature is moving. 
Instead of taking her hands, it drags itself forward and grabs at her to a chorus of panicked shouts on the comms. So quickly nobody has time to react, it's dragged itself up to cling to her shoulders and bury its face in her neck.
The shadowy frame trembles when she holds it in return.
Masterpost
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keferon · 20 days ago
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Odds of Survival Part 4
Jazz thinks he’s starting to figure stuff out and finds entirely new ways to concern Prowl.
———————————————————————
The flashing visual feedback from the cracked visor felt like his brain was being used for target practice by a middle schooler with a BB gun and the school just canceled pizza day forever.
Jazz was feeling pretty grateful to Prowl right now. Between the glitching visual feed and the misshapen state of his feet, Jazz wasn’t totally confident he could get into the mecha cradle on his own.
At least not without stumbling around like he was completely plastered and trying to decipher a fancy ass hotels space age shower controls.
Seriously, seven different knobs and a touch screen.
Blurr. Dude. Why.
As Prowl walked him through the outpost, Jazz continually got snapshots of his surroundings. Doorway, hallway, door again, room. Another mecha was inside.
At a glance, they looked like the same class type as Prowl. Face, wing thingy’s, and wheels. All the same but with a slightly different color scheme of red and grey.
Jazz was slowly working out what class of mecha they were supposed to be. They couldn’t be Striker class. Not with attachments Prowl straight up specified were delicate.
What even were they? They weren’t thrusters. The wings took the place of where car doors were on a regular car. Which, holy shit, Prowls mecha can turn into a fucking car.
Prowl also flexed and twitched them around a bunch, kinda like how Jazz used his horns to emote. Not that Prowl needed wings to emote because holy FUCK that face. It had micro expressions!!
Okay. Prowl had three things that were cool as fuck going on. An expressive face, delicate wings and the ability to turn into a (fucking) car.
What does that mean? Why would someone build a mecha like that?
Ever since Jazz got spat out by the wormhole and woke up surrounded by aliens, he’s felt like his brain has been slowly circling the drain of a sink. There was some missing piece to all of this that he could feel himself just skirting by over and over again.
Oh fuck right. The other aliens. There was alien life other than tentacle monsters out there. They were dicks sure but at least you could share a train car without any murder attempts.
Ooooohhh. Jazz swayed backwards a little as the tilted his head back in realization. Prowl catching him.
Prowl’s mecha was built to work with other fighters in space. He clearly had a life support system to survive in a vacuum. He had a highly expressive face to help communicate with aliens. The wings must be satellites for communication. The car mode was for fast tracking across planet surfaces. Prowl was crazy smart, over and over again Jazz had watched him figure out exactly where they needed to go and how to get there. Of course there was a reason he was so easy to work with. It was his job.
Prowl wasn’t any kind of pre-existing class from Jazz’s mecha program. Prowl was every Strikers pipe dream that kept getting brought up and then thrown out for “not being cost effective”.
Prowl was a Support Class Mecha.
Live on the field, giving real time updates and backup.
Damn.
Whatever shadow government Prowl worked for must be insanely rich. Wonder if they’re taking applications.
Prowl unhooked Jazz’s remaining functional arm from over his shoulders. He maneuvered Jazz to sit on a bench height concrete extension from the floor.
The microphones in his horns were still working fine despite one of them sending many unhappy damage report messages.
“Sit here and don’t move.” From the glimpses Jazz could catch, Prowl looked concerned but focused. Jazz wanted to ask why they didn’t go to some kind of docking station but figured Prowl knew what was up and went along with it.
Jazz could hear the mystery mecha talking. A lot.
It was in that other language Prowl had initially tried talking to Jazz with, except speed up by a bajillion percent.
From the tone, the new mecha was asking Prowl a barrage of questions. Prowl, for his part, replied in short concise sentences or occasionally a silent glare. The other mecha didn’t seem put off by this and merrily continued talking as he lined up another shot through some kind of rail gun setup built into the slit window.
Eventually, the new mecha started directing his questions at him. Apparently stopping to breath wasn’t a thing with this guy.
Jazz did his best to shrug. “Sorry man. No idea what you’re saying.”
Prowl interceded in common, “Jazz, this is Bluestreak.” He waved in the direction of the sniper, who smiled and waved.
“Bluestreak, this is Jazz. He is only just learning Common.” Prowl turned to Bluestreak with a scolding look. “I need to focus on helping him while you focus on the remaining quintessons. Understood?”
“I got it! I got it. I can stop talking when I’m working you know.” Bluestreak nodded and turned back towards the view port, but not without calling over his shoulder, “So Jazz, my brothers face is emotion positive positive positive?”
Oh Jazz could hear the shit eating grin from the other side of the room.
“HAH!” Jazz accidentally knocked his head back against the wall and visor started glitching worse. “Eugh. Eh, worth it.”
“Both of you be quiet or I will separate you.” Prowl threatened.
Jazz, chuckled good naturally but otherwise quieted down. He watched the stop motion footage of Prowl opening some kind of crate and collecting what looked like a tube of glue, a pair of giant tweezers and some kind of mecha sized chrome-mesh duct tape.
His face was suddenly very close and Jazz did not startle. Nope. Who said that?
He felt the pressure of a hand settling on his good shoulder. Prowl was wearing that highly concentrated look again. And Jazz was so focused trying to work out what the internal mechanisms of his eyes were that he missed what Prowl was saying to him.
“Could you say that again? My…uh.”
M’kay, how to translate ‘I definitely have whiplash and maybe also sort of a Concussion’ into common. “Head function negative? Uh, too much motion. Broken but small negative?”
Yeaaaah Prowl did not seem reassured by Jazz’s attempt to downplay his condition. Which meant he nailed the translation! He was so getting at least a B+ in this language class.
Fuck his head hurt.
“I want to help you as much as I can. I am not a person-profession-help. Can I help you with what I have?” Prowl had a little furrow between his eyebrows.
“Sure, I won’t fight you.” Jazz stabilized himself best he could. The sentence must have translated weird, because Prowl looked kinda concerned before pulling out a strip of shiny duct tape.
The winged mecha paused, examining Jazz’s busted shoulder, and then doubled the length of tape.
When Prowl wrapped the mesh textured tape around and just above the breakage, something weird started happening to Jazz’s systems. The Severe Damage Warnings and big bright Error messages Jazz had been actively ignoring for the past half hour started to reduce in number. One by one they all quieted down. Checking his mechas systems, the arm was still marked as compromised, but the ai wasn’t actively screaming into his poor brain anymore.
The quiet was such an overwhelming balm Jazz audibly groaned in relief. “I owe you so, so, many drinks. What is that stuff?”
Prowl stilled, “It is-“ he paused, clearly trying to work out how to translate a complicated term into a common equivalent. “It is a kind of repair mesh. You…you don’t know what repair mesh is?”
Jazz got a snapshot of Prowl and even Bluestreak’s expressions. The sniper looking over his shoulder, eyes wide and mouth open in silent confusion. Prowl’s stare was boring into him, making Jazz squirm.
“Um. Yes? At least it’s not something I’ve ever seen before. I mean, I don’t actually need it if it’s too expensive.” Jazz turned owlishly between the two.
Jazz heard Bluestreak start to make a questioning noise before having his focus be pulled back to the winding down invasion outside. Prowl looked into the distance for a moment, then took up the tweezers. He schooled his expression like he was about to do brain surgery.
“I’m going to work on your helm and visor now. Please hold still.” Prowl placed his hand against the side of his head, stabilizing.
“M’kay. Go ahead.” And Jazz put his mecha into Maintenance Mode.
The lights inside the mecha dimmed down to a low glow. Like this, the engine dropped into an idle hum, and the mecha could only move very slowly. Jazz had to hold a position for a few seconds before anything would respond, giving plenty of time for engineers to move out of the way.
Jazz also shut off the incoming feed from the visor, since looking at a bright flashing screen was probably on the list of things you’re not supposed to do while concussed. As well as fall asleep. Or operate heavy machinery.
Two out of three ain’t bad. Call it another B+.
Jazz felt like he might be dropping a letter grade soon though. He usually associated Maintenance Mode with being bored out of his mind, but after the insane last few hour’s, the slow quiet was practically a spa session.
It didn’t hurt that Jazz could feel Prowls hand cradling the side of his head. Technically, the mechas could only sense pressure. No heat. No texture. Given a reference point though, the human brain was pretty fantastic at filling in the gaps.
It felt warm. And soft.
“Jazz?” Prowl stopped what he’d been doing.
Ah.
Jazz came back into full awareness from where he’d been drifting off. He was pressing into Prowls hand.
“Sorry, sorry.” He lethargically pulled away. How do you explain “Hey! Sorry about pushing against you like a stray cat! I’m just kinda super into piloting mecha and being held like that is kind of a novel experience.” in a completely foreign language you learned that morning?
Jazz dragged his ass back upright.
“I’m not, uh, familiar? With a hold like that. Touch-positive. Normally I only feel touch-fight or touch-medical.” Jazz meant to say touch-maintenance, but he was already rambling and for some reason the words were really similar in Common.
Prowl didn’t respond.
Jazz felt his chest tighten. “Prowl?”
“I’m here.” Prowl said quickly. There was an edge of static to his voice.
He didn’t remove his hand. “I’m still here.”
The rest of Jazz’s maintenance went by quietly. Prowl kept his hand where it was for the majority of it, only repositioning once to tilt his head back while working on the cracks of his visor.
Jazz wasn’t 100% sure why Prowl indulged him. Maybe got it? Or maybe he just thought Jazz was passing out and needed to be grounded. Okay yeah, that actually makes the most sense. Plus it was also what literally happened.
Eventually, the pilots heart finally slowed to a resting rate. Mostly. Jazz kept jerking awake.
If falling asleep with a concussion was bad, then falling asleep with a concussion while piloting a mecha would probably do very bad things to his lightly fried meatball of a brain.
He tried remembering what he could of his mandatory pilot safety course he took with Ratchet before the doctor left the program. He mostly remembered sneaking out.
It was fortunate then the pilot was just delirious enough that every time he almost conked out, the spiritual embodiment of Ratchet would scare the fuck out of him.
Thanks Ratchet.
See? I did learn something.
He heard a tarp rustling, and then his busted arm was being manipulated. Jazz brought his visor back online, pleased to see it wasn’t flashing anymore. His vision was a little distorted in the corner on the left side but he could deal with that.
When he looked around, Prowl was in the process of tying makeshift sling in place to keep his damaged bits from jostling around.
Jazz also got a good look at the emblem on his mecha’s chest. It kinda looked like an angular mecha face. Jazz didn’t recognize brand design though. Maybe he’d remember once he’d recovered from the bullshit of the day.
He was kinda too tired to think properly at the moment. That circling-the-sink-drain feeling hadn’t actually left, even with the Support Class revelation.
“That is the best I can do for now. Our ship should arrive in five breems.” Prowl hesitantly let go of Jazz.
“Thanks Prowler, you’re the best.” He wriggled now free horns at him. Incrementally, Jazz brought his systems back online, running through well practiced motions to ensure everything was working. Well, everything that was supposed to be working anyways.
He heard a raspberry being blown by Bluestreak, the mecha had his hands on his knees and he was looking from Jazz to Prowl.
“Prowler?”
Prowl frowned. “Yes?”
“Prow-ler.”
Prowl frowned harder, “I’m aware.”
Bluestreak straightened up, “Okay, you’ve delayed this long enough. I need to talk to this guy one on one. Go talk to the Big Boss and I’ll watch Jazz. Please mech. I gotta. I gotta talk to this guy or I’m going to explode. Like, where is he from? Why does he look like that? How’d he end up floating in space? What’s his native language? Does he know any other languages? Why has he never heard of Common before? Is he super young? How are the others gonna react? What are you going to say to Elita? Oh Elita says hi by the way. Or, not really, she said ‘contact me as soon as possible’ and then hung up on me. Which is fine. Oh but you should seriously respond to you-know-who first.”
Jazz was getting maybe every third word of that. Bluestreak was still going. Wow. Impressive breath control no lie.
Prowl visibly sighed, straightening his posture into something military grade. Immune to the conversation tornado.
“Jazz, I must speak with our factions leader. I will not mention you to him until you have a better understanding of our military structure and you are able to choose to engage.” Prowl kept his hands folded behind his back. The total shift in body language was jarring.
“Okay,” Jazz nodded slowly. “I’ll be here, thanks again.”
Prowl nodded curtly once before shooting a warning look at Bluestreak, and then left the room.
The loss was weird in a way Jazz couldn’t properly describe. Prowl was so easy to click with that once he was gone, Jazz remembered he was stranded in deep space surrounded by what were effectively perfect strangers.
He didn’t get to dwell on it long though, as Bluestreak sidled up to him, propping his chin on one hand.
“So! I’ll let you go first. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you all about it!”
Jazz had a lot of questions but figured he’d start with something basic to help along his language acquisition.
“What,” he poked Bluestreak in his purple badge, “Are your cuss words?”
———————————————————————
Prowl: What do you mean you are actually capable of experiencing pain?
Prowl: What do you mean you don’t know what local anesthetic is?
Prowl: What do you mean no one has ever touched you when it didn’t involve medical treatment??
Prowl: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GONE THROUGH MEDICAL TREATMENT WITHOUT ANESTHETIC.
Man oh man, this is the end of this arc but there’s more I still want to write. Gonna start cataloguing and saving these as well.
-SSTP
OH MY GOD. OH NO. Oh my god
Yeah no that makes SO much sense khftugssujdsthdd. Without that one little important piece of information their understanding of each other. Oh man. It's not just bad. It's FANTASTICALLY wrong but somehow generally still in the vaguely right direction??
Like Jazz being regularly medically mistreated is kind of true BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK PROWL
And Prowl being that sweet sweet support class mecha?? FUKFDEY Y e ah.
Oh this is amazing. Oh thIS IS FUCKING GREAT SSTP I WILL DIE FOR YOU
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thewitchblue · 7 days ago
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"Stop stealing my shit."
Jason said as he yanks his favourite hoodie from Dick's hands. Everybody comes by his apartment and steals something for the road. He had assumed this sibling habit would stop when he moved out, but apparently, that is not the case.
Dick, undeterred, continued to riffle through his closet. The apartment looked too lively in the past couple of months. It looked like people actually live here and not Jason's usual barren home. Dick held up one of your plushies and examined it. Jason said aggressively,
"That's not even mine! Put it back!"
Dick huffed. Jason used to have a stuffed animal that he dragged everywhere back in his early Robin days, so Dick could totally believe Jason having a plushie collection in secret.
"I knew my little birdie is still in there."
Dick smiled as he held the plushie. It was a fluffy polar bear that looked like it was used regularly. The image of Jason holding a small bear to fall asleep with was too cute for Dick not to feel the familiar joy little Jason used to bring him. His baby brother is still his baby brother! Underneath all that rage, Jason is still the 12 year old kid who wants love.
"Honey, I'm hooooome!"
Dick heard a voice call out dramatically like a 1950s sitcom. You were putting away your coat and humming softly when Tim casually climbed into your house through your living room window. He stood awkwardly for a moment, unsure how to proceed after climbing through the window and spotting you. This is an awkward way to meet his brother's significant other. You screeched when you noticed him and smashed a lamp on his head. He cursed his silent footsteps as he stumbled back. Five seconds ago, you were humming Singing in The Rain, and now you have an injured vigilante on your doorstep.
"You alright, munchkin?"
Jason called out as he managed to finally take the bear from Dick's grubby little hands. The white fur wasn't covered in Gotham's dirt, thankfully, but now he was angry.
You were quiet for a suspicious amount of time, so he couldn't fight Dick the way he wanted to. He went to the living room to find you cleaning up shards of glass while Tim awkwardly plucked out shards from his hair. His head hurt, but he didn't complain, and you didn't apologise.
Neither brother knew what to do around you. Dick wants answers. He will get to the bottom of this.
"How long have you been together?
Dick asked when he got over the initial shock. He needed to know everything. Tim is the one to answer,
"Four years, yes, they know about Red Hood, they've lived together for a few months now and recently got engaged."
You nodded to confirm everything while throwing away the glass. It was weird that Tim knew everything about your relationship, but you didn't really care in the moment. You sighed and lay on the couch after putting away the broom and dustpan. You need a nap, not guests.
Dick was hung up on the word engaged. It's one thing to keep a secret partner, but a secret fiancée hurts his big brother ego. Was Jason going to get married before he ever met you? Dick was frustrated. He asked,
"What was the plan? To never show us your partner?"
You lazily took Jason's hand in yours. You remained in your comfortable position on the couch, but you wanted to show your silent support. You were willing to do whatever makes Jason comfortable.
Jason lightly squeezed your hand in gratitude. He knew they would adore you and steal your attention at every possible chance. Why would he tell them about you? They would all be insufferable. He said flatly,
"It wasn't a secret. Replacement found out about it."
Dick was still mad, but now he turned to Tim with a look of betrayal. He just remembered that Tim was the one to answer his earlier question. He asked Tim,
"You never thought to tell me?"
Tim shrugged and replied,
"It was good blackmail in the beginning."
You laughed despite the tension growing in the room. Tim found out within the third week of your relationship. Master detective indeed.
He knew something was different. Jason wasn't as aggressive nor as self-destructive. He started to pull his punches in their spars, and he stopped bullying everybody. He either had six months left to live and wanted to make amends, or there was something or someone in his life fixing him.
Dick didn't like that excuse, but it made sense to Tim. Why wouldn't he blackmail Jason? He has dirt on everyone, even Bruce. Jason was livid at the time, but Tim held him back by threatening to leak the relationship to the press.
Jason sat on the armrest of the couch you were lying on and kissed the back of your hand gently. He wouldn't care if people knew now, but he admittedly wanted to selfishly keep you to himself. Jason asked,
"Why does it matter?"
Dick was malfunctioning. Why does it matter? How does it not matter? These are huge steps in life, and he missed them? He was going to miss his little brother's wedding! What's next? Adopting kids from Crime Alley? Dick was speechless.
Jason just wants them out of his house. He always hates when they show up randomly, but it's even worse now that he has someone waiting for him at home. You had clashing schedules up until now, so it wasn't a huge problem with their random visits because he could always physically shove them out the door before you arrived home. Now that you switched shifts, you can spend a lot more quality time with him, but at the cost of his family popping in and snooping like they are right now.
You and Tim were watching from the sidelines with intrigue. If there was popcorn, you both would have a bowl. Normally, this is around the time Jason punched Dick and started a fight, but this time, Jason simply dragged Dick and the previously forgotten Tim by their shirts and stuffed them out of the window. He quickly locked the window and closed the curtains while giving them the middle finger.
You walked over to him when you noticed his irritation not leaving and wrapped him in a hug. He needs something to de-stress, and you often use sensory stimulus to keep him in the presence. You murmured softly,
"Sugar bear, it's okay."
Jason nodded. He wanted your gentle touch, but he needed to search the apartment for any stolen property. What if Dick stole your favourite plushie or Tim stole his combat knife? They are stealthy in what they steal, which is why he kept everything barren in the first place. If they can get away with it, they will do it.
Your hands run along his arms. Jason relaxed into your touch. How do you do that? What magic do you have that can calm him so efficiently? You make his loud mind silent.
"If he stole one of your plushies, I'm going to kill them both."
He said gruffly. You laughed and gently ran your fingers through his hair. You shouldn't be surprised by the clear irritation, but it really highlights the effects his family still has on him. The way he tensed when he saw Tim and you, the way he squeezed your hand a tad tighter than normal, and the way his breathing changed to calm a raising panic attack just like you taught him. You lightly kissed his shoulder before saying,
"He probably stole my Nightwing plush. I have the whole family set, you know."
Jason knows for a fact Dick would steal a Nightwing plushie if he found one in Jason's home. He can already see it in Dick's apartment. It would probably be next to his bed as a trophy, teasing Jason and daring him to try to reclaim it.
He casually reached for one of his guns and loaded it. You lightly hit his arm and scolded,
"I can always buy a new plushie. You can't buy a new brother."
Jason raised an eyebrow. He definitely could buy a new brother. He could bring Bruce an orphan and his baby fever would take over. What's Bruce going to do if Jason shows up with a baby who was recently orphaned? Adopt them, of course.
"You underestimate Bruce's baby fever. He would adopt the whole orphanage if he could fit them all in the manor."
You shook your head with amusement in your eyes. You pointed out,
"You would become the eldest if he was killed. All your brothers would go to you for advice on life experiences."
Jason sighed and put the gun away. Fine. You win this round. He doesn't want to deal with his family any more than he has to anyway. He pulled you into a calming kiss. It soothed his aggression instantaneously. He practically melts into your arms. He is excited to spend his life with you.
Your beautiful boyfriend may be rough around the edges, but you love the chips and scratches.
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girlkisser13 · 8 months ago
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dating dick grayson would include
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• dick loves physical affection so whenever he sees you be prepared for some form of touch— pda is not really an issue for him.
• forehead kisses, nose kisses, neck kisses, just so many. he aims to kiss you at least twice a day, it's become a type of ritual that he lives for. sweet kisses, long sensual kisses, make out sessions— just so many.
• damian LOVES you, you're basically a mother figure to him and he will happily challenge grayson for your attention.
• he comes over randomly and sometimes stays the night after patrol because he thinks so highly of you.
• dick is so happy you get along with his family, especially damian, but on some occasions when his little brother stays the night he's a little frustrated since he wanted some personal one on one time with you.
• he puts so much effort into your dates, he's hardly around long enough for you to go on regular ones so when you both have the time you can bet he'll go all out in an attempt to make up for what he's missed.
• if he gets called away for a mission on dates dick is really upset about it. like he'll answer the phone and his face will just drop, you can tell by his expression that's he's got to leave before he even tells you.
• when he gets back he'll do anything for you, make you breakfast in bed, cuddle, kiss you or any other fun suggestions he can think of. <33
• when his is on a mission, he will drop everything he is doing to make sure you’re okay.
• one time, he left jason to fight off a mob alone just because you called to say you stubbed your toe. jason still isn’t over that.
• brags about you quite often, his friends know exactly who you are and totally willing to look out for your safety.
• he buys you a bunch of nightwing merch. nightwing pajamas, nightwing bedsheets, nightwing purses. everything nightwing. sometimes robin.
• he really likes when you wear them, it makes him SOO proud.
• dick LIVES to hear you laugh. there is no joke too dirty, no expression too silly, no story too embarrassing. he will do and say whatever it takes to get you rolling, no matter how foul your mood.
• he loves to be fussed over. when you baby his injuries, neaten his hair/clothes, or barrage him with daily text updates and check-ins, he feels valued. it’s not about clingyness or ego, it’s about feeling prioritized. <33
• so long as you’re not being condescending, every little thoughtful thing you do or say is cataloged and recalled with affection.
• dick would be that kind of boyfriend who would gladly go shopping with you, he would excitedly run through the shop looking for the perfect outfits for you. he would patiently wait until you try on the clothes he chose for you (the whole store) and he would pay for everything.
• he loves if you read to him before bed, you tell him he is such a kid but he just enjoys listening to your voice. if he hears your voice before sleeping he has the sweetest dreams.
• he shows you his acrobatic moves all the time just to impress you.
• like you can’t reach the top of the shelf and instead of just helping you grab the item you need he jumps in the air does like three flips and lands with whatever you need in his hands. he definitely bows after doing this.
• he loves you so much he can't even explain it, but he constantly tries to. <33
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plethorawrites · 26 days ago
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So we’ve seen all of the batbros as cats but what about the reader? What would happen if they were turned into a cat?
This took forever, sorry! But yes, I totally can!
Bruce: Weary and worried.
• Before all else, he's concerned with making sure you're alright. He calls Zatanna immediately to ensure it's not permanent and then after he knows it's not, he can relax enough to try to comfort you.
• He was never a cat person, only ever owning dogs, so he really has no clue how to take care of a cat. Let alone a cat who's really the love of his life. He tries, though. He gets Alfred to make you dinner, something that's fresh and not gross Tuna or Salmon from a can. He gives you your choice of every throw pillow in the manor to tear up when he sees you get antsy, your claws flicking in and out in stress. And of course, everything poisonous to cats like the peace lilies in the living room are moved far away.
• Bruce still has to go to work, unfortunately and with no idea how to keep you entertained, puts on those "Soothing cat videos" on the big TV in his bedroom for you to watch. A six hour loop of a fishtank is less than ideal but seems to work well enough.
• You're in the same place as when he left you, so he assumes you didn't mind too much. He notices you grooming yourself, not because you want to, but out of some strange instinct you've developed and he can tell you're grossed out by your own actions, so he does his best to clean your fur himself. You might be a cat, but you seem to like water so he puts you in the bathtub and scrubs your fur with your normal soap which makes you pur.
• Until he takes you out of the warm water and you're absolutely freezing, shivering from the cold. He wraps you in a towel and holds you to his chest until you're mostly dry, then, despite the dampness of your fur, let's you curl up under the covers since you're still a bit chilly. It makes his own skin wet, but he doesn't mind since at least you seem a bit happier.
---
Dick: Amused and empathetic.
• He tries not to laugh. He really does. It's just...so much harder than it should be. You look so small, so adorable, so fuzzy. You have a tail, for God's sake. How could it not be hilarious? He only stops chuckling when you swat your paw at him, catching him with sharp claws, cutting him. He doesn't get upset since he knows he deserved it.
• Goes to the pet store with you, letting you sit in the cart and pick out your own things, which, he can tell you dislike but reluctantly comply—otherwise he'd buy you a rat themed toy instead of the feather one you wanted. You gurgle and growl repeatedly when he picks up those stupid cat costumes, but he still buys them anyway.
• And yes, he does force you to wear them. You resisted, at first, of course, but eventually gave up when he gave you those puppy dog eyes. If you thought being a cat was humiliating, you couldn't have prepared for being a cat wearing a sombrero and poncho. "Those are our Christmas cards this year," he tells you, kissing the top of your head while you meow in protest.
• Despite that, he's still sweet to you, apologizing for you having to go through this and swearing he'll fix it. In the meantime, just try to stay positive. He'll say you can rip up the drapes if it makes you feel better. You do and it does. You always hated them and he refused to get rid of them, but now there was a valid reason to.
• He sits on the floor with you, swinging the feather toy around as you chase it, gaining a good amount of height the longer you play. His arm gets tired but you're clearly not, so he sits there until you eventually get sick of it and he sets it down while you crawl into his lap for a nap. He was going to make something to eat, but he supposes he can wait.
---
Jason: Paranoid and terrified.
• His initial response is to reassure you that you'll be fine. He'll do whatever it takes you turn you back into a human, no matter what. His second response, is to freak out. He has no idea how to take care of a cat, let alone his partner who's a cat! What if he hurts you? What if he can't fix it?
• Being a cat, you, unbeknownst to him, sense him apprehension and almost immediately start rubbing against his legs until he hesitantly picks you up, cradling you in his arms as gently as possible. You rub your head against his jaw, trying to soothe him and he takes a few deep breaths, relaxing and nuzzling your fur.
• It takes him a while, and a lot of trial and error to figure out how to take care of you, be it buying food you don't like, to accidentally leaving the window open and panicking that you escaped (you were under the bed, because it was warm and safe) but he eventually calms down once the day is finally over.
• Cuddling with you on the couch, he can barely even feel your claws kneeding on his arms because there's so much scar tissue it's too hard to scratch and hurt. Your purring is what calms him down the most though, after an extremely long, stressful day. You sitting on his lap, his hand resting on your back as he slowly and accidentally falls asleep.
• When he wakes up, you're still a cat, still sleeping on him. He picks you up carefully, taking you to the bedroom so he can sleep in his bed and you aren't left alone in the living room. He has a feeling you'll be yourself soon enough, even if he doesn't know exactly when. He'll keep you safe until then.
---
Tim: Shocked and Frantic
• He immediately starts to panic. You're a cat. A freaking cat. How? Why? What does he need to do to fix it? He has a million questions and no answers. But his stress only adds to your own and he quickly tries to calm down before soothing you: "No, no, no. It's fine. You're gonna be fine. I swear."
• Still, the second he gets you out of the room, convincing you that you'd be more comfortable in the living room than in the batcave, he starts to pace and freak out again. It's actually Damian, of all people, who gets him to snap out of it, literally slapping him across the face and telling him to be there for you instead of worrying about the details.
• He listens, to an extent, going back upstairs to where you were chewing on the fern in the living room, ripping a leaf apart. Pulling you away from it as you meow in protest, he cradles you in his arms, apologizing for fretting and promising he won't leave again.
• And he doesn't. He does, however, keep working on a way to fix you. He tries to be annoyed when you start knocking things off his desk, pushing stuff into a water bowl, jumping into his bottom drawer, laying on his papers, but he can't do it. You're just acting too cute to genuinely be mad. Eventually, he takes a break, closing the drawer you were sitting in and hauling you to his bed.
• He'll admit, he threw you with a little less caution than he probably should have, but you didn't mind, crawling onto him the moment he laid down, eager to close your eyes after being awake for far too long. Aka 5 straight hours, which, for a cat, was a lot. He didn't quite realize that, but notices almost immediately how fast you fall asleep once you lay down, curling into a ball, tucking your nose under your tail to keep it warm.
---
Damian: Is both fascinated and prepared.
• He has over a dozen pets, so when you're turned into a cat, he already knows everything there is to know and gets you anything you could possibly need. A nice cat bed, toys to keep you entertained, a post to scratch so you don't ruin any furniture.
• His others pets want to play or chase you, but he scoops you up before any of them can get even close to you. And he insists you stay close to him and not wander off, because you could get lost, kidnapped, or hurt.
• You always knew his knowledge of animals was extensive but didn't realize how much so until he was petting you, explaining how the hair follicles on cats work, which is why they never like to be pet in certain areas.
• Despite having an extremely nice bed, you'd really rather prefer his and he allows it, reminding you not to scratch the pillows or the sheets. "They're Egyptian silk. Don't ruin them." Still, when he catches you clawing at them in your sleep, unaware you were doing it, he doesn't stop you.
• In the morning, he switches feeds you breakfast, in a human bowl so it's not so degrading and takes you with him while he works on a way to fix you. He quickly gets distracted, though, by how you're looking around at everything like it's the most interesting thing ever.
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sunboki · 2 months ago
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⎯ COUNTDOWN TO LOVE. a Christopher Bahng fiction
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🎁 : Christopher Bahng x fem. reader
TROPE. countdown to christmas, best friends to lovers! au, pining, non-idol! au, comfort, worry of unrequited feelings, slight angst, fluff, cuteness overload
WORD COUNT. 6.5k ☆ 34 minute read
WARNINGS. swearing(??), mentions of a dick(?), insecurity, usage of terms of endearment, mentions of inferiority, mention of vomit, reader is said to wear makeup on an occasion
AUG'S NOTES. this was a very soft and sweet opposition to Christmas Blues last year which, notably, was remarkably “blue” in nature. in the midst of writing i found myself worried this new approach to lighter, best-friend-to-lovers feelings would be too plain—but i had to remind myself this isn’t enemies to lovers, nor is it nearly as angsty as Christmas Blues!! though i hope their feelings can be both established and understood well, so thank you for sticking with me this far :) i hope this fuzzy piece keeps your heart warm during this cold winter<3
PLAYLIST.
SYNOPSIS. It had always been natural between you and Chris. Knowing someone for almost ten years comes with that. And yet, when he confesses that he doesn’t want to keep up this cycle but pursue you one winter, you’re hesitant in thinking it will work out. Then again, you’ve never been one to deny him.
or alternatively :
Five days till Christmas, five dates to see if you feel the same.
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December 20th.
“Move your arm.”
Sunday morning sunlight streams through barely cracked blinds, making your brows crinkle at the onslaught of brightness in distaste. That, along with occupying a mattress with none other than Chris Bahng.
A weekly occurrence at this rate, if not daily. And no, whatever earlier assumption about you two sharing a bed is wrong.
Totally.
Oh, he’s also pitiful to boot, evident with the loud whine heard in response as he rolls over—messy curls unruly upon just awakening. 
And.. somehow beautiful, with those big brown eyes and lips the color of burnt russet parting with a highly exaggerated yawn.
But pitiful most of all. 
“‘S warm—“ Chris groans out, inch-worming his way to wrap big arms around your form, beckoning you snuggled against his back with a content sigh.
“Too warm,” You scowl, squirming about in his grasp, disagreeable sorts of sounds leaving tight lips. Chris simply giggles.
“Say,” He begins, weighing his chin upon your shoulder, fingertips slipping beneath your shirt to feel your skin, tracing the lines of your abdomen, rising to rest on your belly. 
A surprising lover of skin-to-skin, he is.
“What if we became something more?”
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When you know someone long enough, an established sense of normalcy alternative to everybody else appears, whether that’s the plentiful times you’d heard Chris squeal like a girl after walking in on him in his boxers, or the not-so pretty nights out where he’d hold back your hair while you threw up in the bathroom a bar whose name you can’t recall.
But then again, it’s always been just that.
Nothing more, nothing less. He didn’t demand anything from you, didn't judge you. Listening with an attentive ear those days you would cry on the phone, and bring you a donut before morning classes after passing an exam.
The small things.
So it makes you wonder when you started seeing him differently. And if he felt that same way too.
A slow progression of love, like a river in its path of eroding canyons over thousands of years. Familiar, comforting. Done without a second thought like muscle memory. His fingers curling against yours in busied atmospheres, the look you both give each other when a certain song comes on.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?”
With your face peering over his monitor, wide eyes he adores peek at him from an upside down angle. 
Cute, he thinks, tapping your nose with a chilled index.
Chris always keeps it cold in his apartment, partially because he remembers you’d told him you sleep better that way, partially because he loves to hear you complain about it in the morning.
As for the big question popped earlier today, he chooses to wait patiently per your request (after staring at him like he’d grown an extra pair of eyes then proceeding to smack his arm before realizing he was serious).
So, yes, you’re thinking.
And it scares Chris more than he’d like to admit. 
He knows the risks, the “let’s try this” somehow turning into an ugly breakup and never speaking again.
And he can’t afford that when it comes to you, because you’ve become the most important person in his life without even noticing it.
Even if his love is one sided. Unrequited. 
He’d be okay as long as he has you.
Just the thought makes him anxious, makes the clicking of his mouse arranging the tempo to become erratic in pace, head-dizzying.
“Chris?”
Until your voice finds him, and the torrential waves of his ocean go back to their slow lapsing. Calming the waters as always, trademark to you.
“New track,” He offers, eyes flickering up to you with a meek smile emphasizing the charming dimples there.
Majoring in music comes with both perks and downfalls: hours spent studying and cramming terms down his throat whilst managing personal projects, and, of course, the fleeting satisfaction after passing an exam by a stroke of luck.
But he loves every moment of it, especially having you listen to some of his favorite productions. Some he’ll strum on a guitar amidst his arranged apartment shared with Changbin and Han—roommates you’d grown quite acquainted with—in the late evening, his heart likely beating out of his chest watching your sweet face nod along.
At the moment it’s him here alone, Han having already relocated back home for the holidays, Changbin at his part time job, working lighting and electrical work at a live-house.
“Can I listen?” 
Slow to nod, he beckons you closer with a wave of his hand, carefully placing headphones overtop your ears.
And yet, as your head bobs and face wrinkles up just like he does when hearing something catchy, he can’t help the grin on his face watching you.
You’re beautiful, and he’s too fond it might just be unhealthy.
It’s too easy to fall in love with you.
He has a feeling he’ll be thinking that a lot.
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December 21st.
Enough. 
If there was an early New Year’s resolution, gaining a lack of hesitation would have to be on the top of the list.
Of course, that would ensue plenty of compromising situations if you did things impulsively considering the amount of times you’d wanted to kiss him, but, for the most part, it would work in a sensible manner.
“Five dates.” 
Last night you slept over (similar to most nights), clad in one of Chris’s old t-shirts and a pair of suspiciously clean basketball shorts for the gym-addicted man in question, Changbin, to offer you.
By the stove, Chris occupies himself with cooking eggs, lips puffed in a way downright dangerous to your “no hesitation” resolution and lack of t-shirt displaying a broad, muscled back adding to the list. 
Your tongue pokes against your cheek, arms crossed over your chest.
”Five dates.. mhm.. gotcha…” Each nod from the man assures you that, no, he doesn’t “gotcha”; his attention long since drawn to what lies in a sizzling pan and the low hum of “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz rumbling from the small radio on the corner of the kitchen island.
“Chris,” You grunt, brows lifting, resisting the urge to laugh when he glances over his shoulder with that sheepish expression, all-telling.
Or maybe that comes with the years. Unspoken gestures understood without fail.
”Sorry ‘bout that,” He murmurs, and you curse every aspect of your vision being a spectator to his trapezius rippling while dishing down two mugs from the cabinet. One that you bought him, the other purchased by Han.
The latter patterned with.. odd shaped bananas he’s sworn are not the shape of a dick.
But that’s a story for another time. 
Although, that’s the least of the oddities. Between the Danny Devito cheeto ornament(how they got their hands on it you couldn’t guess) added to their tiny Christmas tree and the rug in the bathroom with old stains no one talks about, you’ve decided to turn a blind eye for the sake of learning things you don’t want to remember. 
“What do you think if.. y’know, before we try something new,”
You pause, scorning the sly smile on his face when turning to face you, long fingers quelling the stove’s flame momentarily.
He thinks you’re the most darling thing he’s laid eyes on, and you think he’s going to laugh at you.
”We go on five dates. And after those five dates, I’ll make up my mind.”
”Is this a part of your “thinking”?”
Jerk. He’s lucky he’s handsome.
Gnawing at your bottom lip, your face pinches.
“Yes.” The words are quiet, too hushed for your liking.
Chris doesn’t make you quiet, he doesn’t make you shy. Yet, these days you find yourself falling back into a cycle of nervous, foreign feelings when speaking. As if he’s picking you apart piece for piece.
As if he hasn’t already read every page of the book named you over and over again.
But now the pages rewrite themselves, too many filled with the word “love” and “affection” and “more than friends” and—
“Can I kiss you after those dates?”
Jerk. For the second time.
”And if I say no?”
He lights a fire under your feet. Maybe it’s the heat causing blood to rush to your ears.
Chris lifts his mug. ”Indirect?”
You scoff, he giggles, squeaky in pitch just as it’s always been. Your cheeks warm.
Because in the midst of a once-normalcy, you can feel a storm brewing. It’s unclear if it’ll be a hurricane or a refreshing rain shower, and perhaps the unpredictably is supposed to be thrilling.
Or maybe it’s doomed, and the debris left after that hurricane will lay untouched, uncared for.
So it’s the feeling of his arms wrapping around you beckoning those thoughts out of reach, holding the doubt just high enough you don’t have to see.
Hear, listen, overthink. For now, all there is to fret about is Chris, and the warmth of his hug, pulling you infinitely close against heated skin.
Then does it register to you he’s always read your pages the same, and he would for as long as you’ll give him time to reread. If they change, they change together.
How foolish you forgot such a thing. As if he wasn’t your best friend first.
“Yes, you can.”
When those five dates are over, kiss me.
His nose buried into your shoulder, he murmurs a quiet “thank you”, a satisfied hum resounding from his chest, eyes crinkling up in the corners with a smile.
“Is that my shampoo?”
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If anything, you feel as if you’ve been having dates over the years you’ve known Chris as he lists out ideas from a website on his phone. Except, yours weren’t touchy feel-y and certainly not regarded as “dates”, but simple things.
Dinners, falling asleep on his shoulder (something he remembers very well), baking together.
It’s a cold day, and after his hug that squeezed every fiber of sanity from your being, you now resorted to trying to figure out what that first date should consist of. 
The first of the five, pending.
“Ah,” Lips parting to exhale, you peer from the nearest window, watching hot breath fog up the glass whilst gazing out at vastly falling slow blanketing the ground a winter wonderland. A white abyss from your viewpoint.
“It’s snowing.” 
A chaste pause ensues.
“Might as well go out ‘n enjoy it, hm?” His voice, paired with a grin saturated in too much mischief for your liking resounds from over your shoulder.
Unable to react fast enough, Chris, sneaking up behind you without your knowledge, hoists you over his shoulder in seconds time—now (unfortunately) adorning a hoodie over his once bare torso.
Your shocked shriek rings about the apartment in reply.
“Out of the way! We’re goin’ outside!” Chris giggles victoriously, shouting to no one in particular as your fists beat at his back upon making for the door.
The faintest gust of frigid wind has goosebumps slithering up your skin—granting the man a cacophony of “No! Let me down!”’s he seems to soak up like praise.
Well, before relenting.
Because then again, who was he to deny you? To some degree it felt like every bone in his bone dragged him close to you, trailing after your footsteps like a lost puppy.
“One of these days,” Sighing heavily like that of an old man, a firm hand pats your thigh before you’re reluctantly flopped onto the couch, glaring up at him in a manner he deems too pretty to keep from smiling at. 
That same hand comes to hold your face, smushing up your cheeks and, in turn, earning plentiful laughter you simply huff towards. 
“Don’t pout—“ He whines, your heart rate spiking when another hand comes down towards your hair.
If there was any restraint of yours left, it would be relinquished instantly if he so much as touched your hair—
He flicks your forehead. And proceeds to slump down beside you.
“Oh you prick-“
His hand reaches to gently cover your mouth, bringing an index to rest on plush lips of his own. 
“No pouting, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart.
Oh he’s going to get it. 
Playing you like a fiddle.
And damn does he do it well. 
.
.
.
Head tipping, your eyes flicker over his features—silently admiring such a side profile. With the perfect curve of his lips and hook of his nose, he could rival sculptures found in museums.
This was after trying to tackle him (to no avail, sadly) and curse his very existence (another fail). 
Then, the mediator came by in the form of a movie night and the small sheet of chocolate chip cookies warming in the oven, scent steaming the air with a mouthwatering aroma. 
Your first of five, initiated.
“Mm.. Don’t we have movie nights normally though?” The remark offered quietly, you shift closer to his body, pressing your right side to his, knees tucked beneath a blanket he’d arranged across either of your laps.
Love Actually plays on the screen ahead, but your focus couldn’t be deviating more.
Ever the attentive soul, Chris is equal in the shared admiration, honeyed irises fixed upon you in his peripheral prior to a careful finger lifting, looping a strand of hair behind your ear.
In turn, his gentle palm cups your jaw to tilt your head, sweeping an additionally stubborn hair from the other side of your face as well.
Your heart feels moments from bursting, and he looks at you as if you’re his whole world.
You are, but that was a matter unnoticed on your end.
It’s a quiet debate. Dangerous and fickle. Move too quickly and something might go wrong, hesitate and an opportunity may vanish to never be seen again. Do you kiss him? Is that how it works? Or is this a matter of “kissing on the first date”, treated like a taboo? 
More so, what happens next? After the kiss?
His eyes flicker upward to yours, lacking that boy-ish, charming smile he usually dons. Instead, he’s serious, calm. Then to your lips, like the melody of a slow song, flickering with the dips and pitches of the rhythm.
Leaning in, you can’t help but comply, and every thought within your mind numbs into nothingness—
Beeep!
A sharp, acrid stench makes your nose burn, face transforming into both realization and panic upon witnessing the tendrils of smoke curling from the oven.
“Shit!”
And after frantically racing to salvage what little remained of the cookies while Chris furiously fanned the smoke detector, your “date night” turned into a shared glance, laughter, and the both of you trudging to his bed for the night, leaving the remaining bit of Love Actually for another day.
So no, rest assured you didn’t kiss him on the first date.
Maybe tomorrow. 
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December 22nd.
Y’know how Chris mentioned going out into the snow “one of these days?”.  
That day was today, apparently.  
“You don’t get it I’ll slip-“
“But you can hold onto me, yeah?” He laughs, squeaky still. Gloved hands find purchase on your hips, gently easing you forward where your back rests to his chest. His right hand shifts upward to rest against your spine, a feeling you have to swallow down wallowing in your stomach.
“Slow steps, I won’t let go.”
Don’t ever, you wish to say. Don’t ever let me go.
And not to keep me from slipping.
Maybe if you were ice skating or slow dancing this would be romantic, but the ugly, waddling manner you make down ice-coated stairs kills off any hope for swooning.
That is, until you do slip, and the man is a fraction too slow until you’re flat on your bum outside his apartment complex, heated from both annoyance and the knowledge far too many embarrassing pictures have been added to his camera roll just now.
In which.. a wonky, slightly-melting snowman comes to be not long afterward, neither of you willing to admit your creation is not “creative”, but horridly unsightly.
“I love it!”
Of course he does. Random pipes substituting as two arms and a carrot nose while Han’s fedora from 2016 awkwardly sits atop a head disproportionate from its body.
Your second date ideas offered a galaxy of possibilities, but after awakening late and coffee’s failure to open your eyes further than half-lidded, you figured today would mimic yesterday as a day spent at home.
He’d get some assignments done in the evening, and you’d probably turn on another Christmas movie while waiting to finish Love Actually in his company later on.
“We should come up with a name,” Nodding proudly at the aforementioned abomination, you cross your arms across your chest, your partner in crime brainstorming in a seriousness practically comical to the situation at hand.
“Hm.. something happy! I mean, look at his face, it’s happy, isn’t it?”
Mind you, cold, visibly dead extra coat-buttons are what stares back at you as its “eyes”, and you easily nod in feigned agreement as he takes ceaseless pictures of the thing with obvious delight, likely to send to friends and family alike.
The bottom snowball is melting, and a pipe has already fallen off what was supposed to be its arm, but Chris is beaming, and you'd rather slice off your own tongue than keep him from enjoying this moment.
Happy. 
You feel as if you’d do anything in the world to see him smile.
.
.
.
“Eh? Who’s that?”
5pm, and you’ll probably have to pummel the door open in the morning thanks to the blizzard-like conditions outside.
Among plenty of assignments he told himself he’d fret over in the evening, an unfinished paper sits in front of Chris while his thumbs twiddle along the keyboard of his phone, your chin hooked to his shoulder to glance down at the device—a habit of yours he finds himself unreasonably fond of.
Changbin came home early from the live-house, with most events cancelled from the cold and too little work to be done, there was no need to keep workers around. Dinner beckoned conversation and knowing glances from the roommate whenever you and Chris spoke, earning a scolding scowl while he simply grinned innocently in reply.
It seemed your love was obvious to everyone but you two. How tragic.
Though, amidst photos of both your earlier wipeout (a matter you don’t mention) and snapshots of the snowman he’s currently trying to send while seated at his desk, a certain name within the text catches your attention:
Mister Sunshine.
Chris chuckles sheepishly, your brows lifting in silent inquisition.
“It’s.. the snowman’s name. I named him.” He murmurs, the back of his neck doused pink. A facet of his embarrassment.
He named the snowman Mister Sunshine.
That smile of his making an additional appearance lies responsible for an internal scream to ring throughout your body, deafening your brain despite an external silence.
And in that moment, your feelings become harder to ignore than ever.
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December 23rd. 
“You should get all pretty today.”
Your attention, once drawn to the different kinds of cookie-cutter molds, flickers up to him when he speaks. 
As it always does, hanging onto his every word as if fearful there’d be a day you couldn’t. 
Quizzically does your head tip in confusion, spurring the heat blooming by the back of his neck all the way up to flushed ears.
He waves quick hands, having been eyeing through the assortment of donuts Changbin brought home last night after his “buy one get one free sale” turned into buying a dozen at the shop by the live-house. 
“I mean, ‘s not like you aren’t pretty every day, but- y’know- like—“
It feels cruel letting him futilely try explaining, but gosh is he too cute.
And hearing him call you pretty feels too good to end abruptly. 
It also makes you wonder what happened to the smug-grin-wearing, playful person he could become at times. The one so confident and sure, now rosy.
An alter-ego sounded too far-fetched most days, but as for today… fairly accurate.
“What I meant is,” Turning, Chris extends the mug of coffee your way, heated glass warming your palms as you take it.
A part to your shared daily occurrences, routine. 
“I want to take you out tonight. We can go window shopping, see decorations, yeah?”
Perhaps the steam of your cup is what warms your cheeks, and very quickly do you come to recall you’re the one making him wait. 
He was willing to go all in from the start. And then you feel even crueler.
“Okay, tell me when to start getting ready.”
But you nod and pretend, because maybe you’re good at staving down things you know will come up anyway.
He’d always chided your procrastination.
.
Too long have you spent burning holes in your mirror with each scrutinizing glare, and the longer you stare, the worse what’s reflected becomes.
Chris had sent a small text proposing a forty minute window before heading out, in which ensued your frantic scouring around your room for both an outfit and coordinating accessories. 
Sure, you may have known the guy since your ugliest years, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun to spend some extra time on yourself, right?
Your third of five dates, and you should be bouncing up and down with cheerfulness, looking forward to “getting all pretty”, dolling up for an evening with your favorite person, your best friend. And, come recent days, your admitted love interest.
But you aren’t. You don’t feel cheerful, ecstatic.
And walking out to his awestruck form doesn’t feel revitalizing, and sure as hell far from a confidence boost.
“You look.. wow.” He gapes, drinking in every article of clothing, the way you’ve got the prettiest of ribbons in your hair a crimson red, your cute socks and warm sweater.
An angel, he wants to say. That, along with many things you’d slap him on the shoulder for speaking aloud.
Worst of all? He knows your tell-tale signs in and out. 
“Hey.”
His face seems to melt. Like crying, and it makes you want to cry. The sad, tiny crease of his brows, the puff of his bottom lip.
Worried.
“But, I mean,” Your voice chokes up, and you hate every bit of it, the emotions compiling to the surface—ones impossible to stave down.
You don’t feel nice. Putting on an outfit you both liked and thought you looked good in, fixing up your makeup, the little accessories to compliment certain colors, elements.
Yet, your heart still sunk when looking in the mirror, and now, looking at Chris, it feels like all that confidence is beginning to melt—salt sprinkled on the snow of the driveway.
Greater than that, it frustrates you. It isn’t his fault he’s attractive; beautiful, even, but every second by his side feels akin to a blazing inferiority, causing the already-chilled, flushed fingertips of yours to burn, your ears to grow unusually warm.
Like a child.
How irritating.
“Hey,”
His voice, like honey and pastries and all the bestest, warmest things when in need of comfort.
“Look at me, sweetheart.”
The endearment isn’t teasing this time, not even in the slightest. It’s soft and delicate, an ornate vase constructed of glass, capable of breaking from a mere breath. 
Standing outside his apartment, snow dappling the sky in endless flurries, it’s only you two in the world.
Your lip wobbles, but Chris always catches you before you fall.
“I’m the man honored to walk around with you tonight, hm?” He starts, thumbing away bubbling tears from your cheeks.
“You look too pretty for these tears, ‘don’t want to mess up your makeup now do we?” He cracks a feeble smile, smoothing down your brows and adjusting your scarf with utmost care from his mitten-clad fingers.
“Ah,” His face lights up with recognition. “You added the glittery eyeshadow.”
You can’t help but crack a laugh. Pitifully croaked, but there no less.
First day of high school and you’d shown up with a downright awful amount of glittery eyeshadow, looking similar to a human-disco ball with the sheer amount alone.
Chris, ever the kind soul knowing you since birth, gave you a two thumbs up, a tight smile, and a “looks great!” that’s lived as one of your best inside jokes even now.
Luckily, this time around the amount is agreeable, just above your lashes and shimmering avidly beneath falling snow.
“I did,” You whisper softly, gaze fluttering down to your shoes before flickering back up to him. “And um.. is it true? That..”
Oh this is embarrassing.
“I look okay?”
Perhaps if he says it, tonight you can believe it’s true.
This time he breaks your heart, with such a heart-wrenching smile on his face.
“You always look beautiful, ‘doesn’t matter how much you think you’re not, you’ll never be able to change my mind. Now let me take you out, yeah? ‘Can grab some hot chocolate,” He ushers, winding your arm to link with his as you make forward, his black trench coat swaying with the click of dress shoes, chilly nose finding sanctuary in a ruby-red scarf wrapped around his shoulders.
Beneath the streetlights and dark skies, Chris could be a prince if he so wished.
That’s another thing you can believe is true tonight.
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Curious eyes of awaiting children and scolding mothers litter the streets, tiny fingers pointing to toys through the glass, busied chatter and shared affection blooming within a once blue atmosphere, now dappled in ribbons of color.
The transition from monochrome, like shutters of an old camera capturing technicolor for the first time.
Or maybe Chris was the one responsible for each flourish of color, painting your world the prettiest of hues.
“Do you remember it?”
His voice, honeyed, accompanied by a plume of air in requite of a warm exhale evokes a skip to your step, catching your footing on the stone sidewalk with an awkward clearing to your throat.
“The things you used to want for Christmas?” He continues, and you chose to ignore the knowing smile on his face, gaze shifting upward in hopes of recollection, to no avail.
“Hm.. Do you?” Quietly offered, a change in attention grants you momentary escape from the spotlight.
Well, before it truly does become momentary.
He never has been embarrassed easily, you’d like to add. A matter speaking for itself in the way he automatically clings to your side in response, swaying back and forth whilst singing along to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” you didn’t realize was blaring through overhead speakers above passing until this moment.
Predictably, he earns the bemused grins of passerby and your face (as an individual who does in fact get embarrassed easily, to your own dismay) growing fifty shades of crimson.
“Yah! Quit!” Though your efforts are as futile as your voice and it’s involuntarily chortled-ness, you smack at his hand no less.
Of course, he persists.
Until the sharp turn to a small, annually appearing hot chocolate truck ceases your complaining and his singing in synonymous tandem.
An array of memories come washing across you with each gust of winter wind, and you can practically hear the manner of squeakiness his voice used to be, the foam from whipped-cream topped cocoa sitting atop his top lip like a mustache. You’d always laugh at that.
When you burnt your tongue one year after the beverage was too hot and he remained resilient in his belief you could and would taste Christmas dinner.
You did not, but it was worth a try. Also worth seeing his big, hopeful eyes peek up at you excitedly.
Back then he was always shorter than you, until that fateful day in High school he arrived with a far taller stature than the pipsqueak you knew of most days.
A lot has changed since then. In more ways than one.
Seems his memory remains as sharp as ever, evident in the gentle squeeze he gives your hand—his you hadn’t even noticed was held in your own up till now.
“Get some, hm? My treat.” He quickly urges, watching you pad forward like a child to admire the menu in adoration, waving to the old woman you’d known since a child, always manning her tiny miracle of a truck. 
He would keep the fact he’d looked up the hours the truck would be in town to himself. That, along with the tiny heart drawn on the side of the cardboard coffee sleeve you had yet to acknowledge, one he discovers is the old woman’s doing, her knowing smile matching his own when he looks up for silent clarification.
Encouragement. 
Go for it.
He feels his palms grow clammy, internally thankful you weren’t holding hands at the moment(which was enough of a heart-attack inducing experience in itself).
The trace of lipgloss on the rim of your cup, the batting of those precious eyes.
Worst is, you don’t even know what you do. The little things compiling into something downright torturous.
And when you look up at him for that split second, his breath catches. 
Ah. 
He wants to kiss you. 
From the scrunch of your nose when you begin to laugh to the snowflakes already dappling your lashes.
Because loving you is easy, and then it’s not. Over and over again. He’s afraid, but his mind is fuzzy and jumbled with feelings, and that small bit of melted marshmallow on your bottom lip he finds himself longing to taste. Lick up the sweetness and sink his teeth into the plush skin–
The tiniest drop of hot chocolate clings to your lips, and Chris wonders if you’d taste like it too.
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December 24th.
“Hm?” His hum of confusion falls upon deaf ears, too preoccupied with a call from your mom to take note.
Something must’ve piqued his attention, though you’d have half the mind to guess what.
That is until hanging up, and curious brown eyes boring into your skull from afar transform into this itch you can’t ignore.
“Chris.”
Like an annoying older brother, he is sometimes.
Then there’s that sheepish sort of sound, the “i-got-caught” giggle testing your annoyed facade.
“Hey now,” He begins after a moment, pointing an incredulous finger your way like you’ve said something outrageous, looking like some perplexed old man whilst running a hand through his hair in an odd, cheap rendition of exasperation.
He looks more like he’s choking, but you give full points for effort. 
“You haven’t put up your tree or anything? What are you, the grinch?”
Oh, so that’s what this is about. 
For context, your conversation minutes prior with your mother consisted of the formalities: “How are you? Eating well? Sleeping well?” which turned into the personal portions: “Classes? Boyfriends?”
As for the last question, you’d keep her posted. 
But what seemed to grab his attention most was the additional part where you not-so-discreetly told her you likely wouldn’t bother putting up decorations in your own place this year.
Granted, you spent most days at Chris’s anyway, Christmas as well. Why not skip the hassle to freeload?
Also, you weren’t aware this was chastising season, Mr. Bahng.
“You’re serious?”
Nope. All a joke, every bit.
“…I usually just stay here anyway..?”
Which was true! He knows this!
“Nuh-uh, ‘s gotta change. What if one year I go overseas to visit family and you’re here alone?”
Horribly fast, your stomach sinks, and you’re hasty to scorn the sensation.
This fear, innate and uncontrollable. That on a certain season, you won’t have that certain someone to spend it with. 
I won’t, you want to say; treat the words like some totally unrealistic joke, treat his argument like a fable.
The clapping of his hands wards you from your incomprehensible nightmare.
“Alright! Let’s go! We’re decorating your place!”
This year at least, he’ll be by your side.
So you nod, as you do to most things concerning Christopher Bahng.
Love makes a person so.. strange, does it not?
Maybe that’s just you. Or him, or all of it. Who knows.
Crunching of white sheets beneath your feet keep your head from falling astray, as if dancing atop dove feathers amidst your trek to the car.
Too many thoughts, too many questions likely to be left unanswered.
The moon, in her full, glowing glory blinks down from above as a feeble solace.
Of the most beautiful of love stories. For when her lover, Sun, grows tired of arduous laboring in the day, she will arrive to establish her night so that Sun may rest for another day. A night of waiting for the one most beloved to her.
It reminds you quite a bit of yourself, oddly enough, as frosted fingertips shuffle beneath your legs to bask in the passenger seat’s seat heater as a source of warmth.
Each exhale fogs up the windows as the engine rumbles to life, and it’s a wonder you didn’t have to scrape off ice beforehand.
“Mm, in Australia it’d be so warm since ‘was summer, even on Christmas Eve. I remember one year ‘got the chance to get out there during the Holidays. Jisung sent me a text saying it was four degrees celsius in Korea and he was wearing three jackets. Meanwhile, I was outside in a tank top with Berry in twenty-seven.”
His eyes adorn the same sweet crinkle of happiness, ring-clad index tapping an inaudible beat where it rests on your knee, the other finding purchase on the steering wheel as you continue onward through late-December snowflakes.
He lights up your world without even trying. His smile, his excited talking. The way his words grow shorter and shorter the more excited he is to explain something.
Nerd. 
You love every second of it.
“And what I said about Australia earlier.” Chris begins quietly, sparing you a glimpse. His palm squeezes your knee gently, and you want to shout, jump, do something to alleviate the scream wishing to claw from your throat in reply.
Since when have you become so susceptible, so easy?
Simple. Since you fell in love.
Or, more like when you realized you were in love.
This was nothing new, after all.
“You wouldn’t be alone here over the holidays. I’d take you with me.” His eyes squeeze shut momentarily in thought, tone this quieted whisper you have to crane to discern.
“Back in October, during my birthday. Do you know what my wish was?”
A wordless look of wonder urges him on, thumb smoothing along your skin in a tender rhythm, never to break.
“One of these days, I’ll take you to Australia with me. Home with me.”
“So my first love can meet my last love.”
The second portion is barely intelligible, as if it were a mere whisper in the night. 
You wonder if it was a figment of your imagination.
Nevertheless, the less-than-inviting (compared to Chris’s), pale glow of your flat’s porch light eventually comes into view, and either of you clamber from car doors with evident struggle—abundant layers against the chill making for an awkward toddle to your snow-muddled doorstep.
Quick to retrieve the boxes from your attic, the both of you get to work. Chris frets over shoveling snow from your front porch, and you set to Christmas-ifying the interior.
It’s domestic, almost. His humming from the front door to songs playing on the speaker inside, the slow transition from your usual flat to a festive explosion. 
Then, of course, the tree.
In which you awkwardly shift your weight from foot to foot while awaiting his assistance, only for you to make eye contact and want to shrivel into a ball and never come out.
Again, shy. It’s bizarre. 
“Hm.. You wanna put up the star?”
After far too long trying to figure out the logistics, a makeshift (albeit lopsided) tree resides in your living space, a few ornaments here and there clothing the sad excuse for a normally grand view. 
But it’s yours, together.
You think with that knowledge alone it could’ve been a single sprout and would have been your world all the same.
His traces, everywhere. Both of your hands clutching onto each one you can grasp.
However, spontaneity comes back to haunt you. This time in the form of his hands curling around your hips, giving you a chaste countdown before you’re lifted up to place the star on the very top.
Good luck not having a heart attack, huh.
Miraculously, you don’t. Neither do you combust or squeal or any of the wild thoughts racing through murky depths of your brain.
Instead, you’re placed on the ground once more, his index and thumb taking the side of your top to gently adjust back down where it had ridden up.
Like a gentleman.
Shoot.
He makes it hard, doesn’t he?
Leaning to prop his chin on your shoulder while you admire the twinkling lights, you’d like to believe it was a hallucination that he pressed the most imperceptible, tiniest peck to the clothed junction of your neck and shoulder before pulling away.
“C’mere,” His words fall a near murmur, having to lightly tug at your wrist to truly garner your undivided attention without blood rushing to your face.
As for him, he simply had to pull you from the tree for the sake of his own wellbeing, the sight of warm lights reflecting in eyes he’d easily get lost in making each swallow harder to manage.
That, and there was.. a surprise of a sort. The sweep of a hand on the way out from his apartment, the fretful (clumsy) fastening of this so-called surprise under the guise he was clearing your porch.
Which he was, respectfully.
Just with a little something extra involved.
Nonetheless, oblivious to his plan, you follow along, anticipating some sad copy of Mister Sunshine to be made from fallen pine needles and buttons.
So when he points upwards, nothing short of a roller coaster occurs in your chest.
A spider, a roach, something scary—
A mistletoe.
Right above your head.
He’s got this giddy, nervous grin wobbling on plush lips, eyes searching yours like some little boy seeking a reaction. And you feel like you’re staring at elementary schooler Chris all over again.
At his cheery face knowing he’d be getting ice cream on the way home, when you lied about being able to taste Christmas dinner with a burnt tongue. 
A single lightbulb flickers orange, illuminating the mistletoe residing just beside.
Finally not-burnt cookies sit in their container back at his apartment, Love Actually long since completed. Your snowman, named Mister Sunshine, occupies the complex’s front walkway, and too many mugs of hot chocolate have been downed these past few days to count.
When your own place gets lonely, a tree you had put up together keeps you company, so that those nights alone this winter won’t be so cold. 
“Can I..?”
Chilled temperatures nip at your nose, and you feel like crying listening to the softened manner he asks, the tentativeness in the way his hand reaches to cup your cheek.
The sound is more like a plea, and you’d be beyond embarrassed if it was anyone but Chris.
“Please.”
And beneath that mentioned mistletoe, Chris kisses you for the first time, and December 25th makes its slow approach above the horizon.
When becoming more grows scary, Chris holds your hand to remind you there’s nothing he won’t step into with you. No matter the doubt, the fear.
It seems this winter you won’t be lonely. Because you won’t be spending this Christmas alone, nor many to come.
He’ll make sure of that.
One day till Christmas, four dates till you told him you felt the same.
You never got to five anyway. 
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sunboki, may 2022 ©
FIC TAGLIST. @allaboutsan, @velvetmoonlght, @minij-one
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