#just let u know
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i was thinking about that one screenshot and.. *blank*
#trafficshipping#scarian#kind of?#implied?#yes#goodtimeswithscar#grian#limited life#🌒w🌘 <this is how i look like while drawing this btw#just let u know#<3#oh i almost forgot#smallishbeans#scitties
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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an incredibly sensitive instrument.
#Disco Elysium#kimharry#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#playing the game for the first time with a high empathy stat really shaped my feelings about Everything u know#this was just a very involved excuse to draw Big Hugs#let harry take care of kim too...pls...#being that in control all the time must be so tiring#anyway i cry about them. enjoyyy
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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still a menace
#LET THIS BOY BE THE PYROMANIAC I KNOW HE STILL IS#hes still insane he just hides it better now#need him to go ham in chaos theory. i miss wild child#u guys ive been so inspired the last couple days. i just cant stop drawing#expect much more doodles in the week to come#jwcc#jwct#camp cretaceous#chaos theory#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jurassic world chaos theory#ben pincus#yasmina fadoula#yaz fadoula#sammy gutierrez#kenji kon#jurassic world: camp cretaceous#jurassic world: chaos theory#my art#livsmessydoodles#livsmessydoodlez#jwctcountdown
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no lips? solution: bite :)
#I cant let gang know I fw their heavily complex and screwed up relationship#If I'm being honest Im not super passionate about any of the mouthwashing ships#so you can interpret this however u want!#I just wanted to draw something silly w my fav characters lol#mouthwashing fanart#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#anya x curly#Anya x curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#graveyardshift
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The scarest thing about Nandor being actually smart in all things Guillermo is that this is the reason why he'll never make the move to be with him:
Nandor already knows how he feels about Guillermo.
He's not even repressing it. He's just made peace with it. Because Guillermo was never an option.
Guillermo is human. He'll choose to stay human. He's fleeting. He'll always leave in some form or fashion. Nandor doesn’t choose to act on his feelings for Guillermo for the same reason why he never turned him. It would just be a curse.
#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#nandermo#no srsly#the competence Nandor expressed this episode was off the charts#not that he's not a big dummy at heart#just that i think this is another unreliable narrative thing#we like to go “Guillermo's right there u idiot”#at Nandor#which is valid#but now im thinking that Nandor already knows probably even before the docu-crew showed up#we just all assumed he didnt consider Guillermo because hes an idiot#but hes probably already went thru the 5 stages grief over knowing Guillermo would never be with him for all eternity#and at some point hes going to have to let him go
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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He's gotta zoom!
Bug Fact: Giant wētā are endemic to New Zealand and many species are alpine specialists. They are also as big as a gerbil 😳. Photos Below
First || Prev // Next
Masterpost
He eat carrot. 🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥺 also he is super duper endangered do not hurt him
#if you are freaked out by crickets I do not recommend reading more lmao#Also its official u-u Dewi's parents are divorced.#Call back to like- 30 pages ago! Dewi knows how to get out of here. He aint that dumb. Plus he can climb#does this page look a little empty to you? Same. But I aint drawing more. Lets just say were focusing on the dialogue and characters#art#my art#hollow knight#hollow knight au#hollow knight hornet#hollow knight comic#dewi's adventures in hollow knight#dewi#hollow knight spoilers
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really? right in front of my karaage?
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more windbreaker comics
#im ngl this scene cracked me TF up when i rewatched it#umemiyas talking to choji but right as he says this specific phrase he looks STRAIGHT AT SAKURA#almost as if he's flexing like “hey hey sakura. hey. did u know. id never lose. winks. isnt that hot of me. isnt that cool. are u smitten”#like dude you met this kid just YESTERDAY and youre immediately letting him decide the other teams punishment and giving special treatment#damn bro i know hes a cutie cat but CHILL OUt#(i say as if episode one sakura didnt have me on my fucking KNEES)#anyways thats enough out of me onto tags winks#umesaku#umsk#wind breaker#wbk#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#hajime umemiya#haruka sakura#ive had this in my wips for a while now but the latest wbk chapter spurred me to finally finish it.. umsk real guys... umsk real
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Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:
me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?
girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.
me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?
me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.
me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D
girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?
me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?
girl whispering: what?
me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.
girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!
me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?
#JUST KNOW IF UR EVER AWKWARD ON THE PHONE ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD#She was my first call of the day and I was like Girl please let me cancel all my other calls so I can learn more about u#Ur interviewing in TN but lets be friends#sometimes my job is funny#and then the rest of the day i kept thinking how relentless is this day#and then some douche hole sent me a demeaning email and i was annoyed so it's really ups and down of the office world
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7/3: pov u r nanami kento pleased that i managed to pull smth together in time for your bday
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#nanami kento#nanami#fanart#jjk fanart#i ws like I Need To Get This Done Today I Should Not Fully Render It#and then i said bet and did anyway#with 2 hours to spare !!!!!!#thats what we in this house call Winning#hbd nanami please forgive me fr spending most of it drawing gojo.......im so sorry i didnt know ill be better ill do better...#tiny smiling nanami u mean so much to me....#i did smth a little bit different with the shape of his nose also and let me just say i am Down On One Knee#hate to simp over a blond man but
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part 3 to my modern AU 💞🍺 (part 1 / part 2)
#u just know seb ended up carrying her home in the end anyway BAHHA if u read my fic u already know im weak for bridal carries#fun fact the blurred party backgrounds i used are screenshots from diary of a wimpy kid rodrick rules. aka the pinnacle of cinema#and its only fitting since i base my modern seb very largely on rodrick bc I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON RODRICK...rodrick heffley my beloved#yall also already know i love guard dog seb (especially combined with drunk clora BAHAH) so ofc i had to do the modern au ver#i just make clora the type of drunk i am... aka drunk after 2 and sometimes even 1 drink and then i get super affectionate with everyone#which would make seb seethe if it were clora BAHAHAH omg i love imagining his suffering😇😍😍#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#clora clemons#also wahhh i can feel my HL brainrot fading a bit...🥲probs bc my fic is now complete... might make a post abt it soon#im not ready to let go😭😤#choccyart
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Prompt 271
“Grandmother is visiting,” Damian suddenly said with no warning and with his usual not-quite demanding tone.
“Who?” Tim wasn’t the only one to startle, seeing as Bruce had practically froze, a downturn to his lips in a silent show of confusion.
Damian scowled. “Are you deaf Drake? Grandmother is coming to Gotham to, quote, make sure I am being properly cared for.” None of them had known that Ras was with anyone actually. At least Tim was pretty sure that would have been in the files.
“Oh?” Dick didn’t quite crouch to Damian’s height but it was a near thing. “She-” “He,” Damian corrected, interrupting him. They all exchanged a glance before Dick continued.
“Is he coming to the Manor or…”
Damian scoffed again, a tiny bit of a flush against his face. “No, Grandmother will most likely be staying with Akhi-”
Now wait one moment-
“YOU HAVE ANOTHER BROTHER?!”
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Deadly Decisions#Danny & Ras are the homoerotic rivals that no one knows if they’re flirting or attempting a murder#It’s actually both they’re just also both Immortal#Danny to Jason: You can become a crime lord if you finish college- you’ve said you wanted to get a degree this is ur chance#Dusan (nodding): Mother has made all of us finish at least our basic education nephew#Why yes this does mean that RH has just made the heads in a duffel bag debut & the bats have no clue it’s Jason#Normally Danny wanders the universe but RAS (affectionately derogatory) HOW DARE U TRY TO HIDE THE GRANDCHILDREN#Morally Gray Danny#He’s well over 300 and that has an affect lol#Also has some fun fae vibes thx to his ghost half & human half finally balancing out#Let Jason & Damian be brothers#Tiny Damian: Akhi look I found a frog :>#Jason (newly not brain damaged & has no clue who this small child is): …. That’s great#Tiny Damian: *GASP* Akhi you can talk now :D#Fuck it- all the Al Ghuls deserve fangs from ecto contamination#Is Danny actually Dusan & Talia’s mother? No one knows and no one wants to ask the probably immortal fae being okay#Danny brought Damian a ghost hound puppy & Jason an original signed Pride & Prejudice book#How come Bruce wasn’t aware of Danyal? Talia forgot to inform him that the mother she was speaking of is in fact still alive#He disappears for a decade sometimes longer she was using past terms how was he supposed to know
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