#just leave me!!!! ITS THAT SIMPLE
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cyancees · 2 years ago
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i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing
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deoidesign · 29 days ago
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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sollucets · 2 years ago
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favorite characters x favorite color: yok
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tenderjock · 14 days ago
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the synonym of companion is:
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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago
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childhood friends au danny is submissive the same way a dog wearing a muzzle is submissive, send tweet.
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dariusaurs · 30 days ago
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i think dinostar is such an interesting ship right now even if i've kind of turned away from it after this season. the problem is that it's complicated, and fandoms historically don't like nuanced situations or takes. i don't think it's fair to say darius is putting brooklynn on a pedestal, since from his perspective, she hasn't done anything wrong, and kenji has been framed as this unfair partner to her. it does feel like his feelings are very immature and more of an infatuation right now ("if he loved you half as much.."/"unless?"), especially when you compare them to kenji's own feelings for brooklynn - his girlfriend who he's loved for 6 years - but that isn't a horrible thing, it's just different. i do completely understand if people dislike the ship right now, and even criticize darius' way of handling the accidental confession, but i just think people have been way too harsh on all three of them without being willing to see that all of their perspectives are different
#like darius' whole thing this season was his tendency to say or do the wrong thing and make things awkward by complete accident#he's a very awkward person as it is and considering he's also never dealt with romantic feelings before and he didn't even mean to tell her#about them it makes sense that he once again said and did the wrong things while trying to fix it#i'm not going to judge his characterization just yet until we see how he handles his own feelings vs kenji's next season after finding out#she's alive#he was still respectful of her and i doubt after learning more of kenji's side and realizing this man genuinely does still love and miss he#that he would prioritize pursuing her romantically(especially since she already yk.. rejected him and also literally just left them all)#if anything i think the finale putting his feelings about her survival to the side and focusing on how it hurt kenji to see her alive and#leave him kind of indicates that brooklynn's not really going to be much of a love interest for darius after this#which imo as a dinostar enjoyer and professional darius lover i'm actually okay with#slightly off topic but season 2 has made me really appreciate kenlynn on its own because of how tragic and nuanced it is#so i think focusing on them instead is not only a better decision in terms of consistency and storytelling but it's just the more realistic#and satisfying choice right now#and that's not to say i think they'll be perfectly fine or even together again once they're reunited properly#in fact i very much hope she ends up alone and they all get closure from this#and there's always the possibility that later on the show might actually revisit dinostar again#which would be better than them trying to do so now in my opinion#idk this is probably a mess but i've been trying to think about how i felt about this love triangle for awhile and since s2 handled it#completely differently than i thought they would. i feel like it's not going to be that simple#and i just wish fans of all sides would kind of chill out on the characters lmao#jwct#chaos theory#jwct s2 spoilers#brooklynn jwct#jwct season 2 spoilers#dinostar#kenlynn#kenji kon#darius bowman#jurassic world
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normal-person-i-promise · 6 months ago
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「いかないで」
arataka reigen/reader angst and fluff
vent
× × ×
You're leaving again.
'It's just a short trip,' you'd assured him. 'I'll be back in a week.' 'I'll be back before you know it.' 'I'll be safe.' 'I won't die.'
He knows you'll be alright. He knows you'll be safe. He knows you'll be back in a week. He knows you won't die, but he can't— he can't get those horrible, horrible thoughts of you dying in unimaginably terrible ways out of his head. He knows you'll be okay, but he can't stop thinking about why, how, you might not be.
The two of you sit on those cold airport chairs, the metal chilling his skin. He holds your hand in a bruising grip, his knuckles white. He breathes hard, struggling to keep himself from crying. He shouldn't cry. He shouldn't cry.
Your suitcase sits in front of you as you scroll mindlessly on your phone, not paying attention to him. It's so cold. The steel of the chair is so cold. The air-conditioning is so cold. Why are you so cold to him right now?
Your hand is warm. Your thumb caressing the back of his hand is nice. You're nice. You're warm. You shouldn't leave. Why do you need to leave? Don't go.
He hears the words of the airport attendant over the speaker, announcing that the last flight of the day was prepared to be boarded. He panics, a tremor coming to his hands, his eyes growing wet and glassy with tears. He blinks them away before you can see.
You switch off your phone. You get up and off the chair, taking your luggage in a hand and beginning to walk off. His hand slips from yours, and he scrambles to follow.
He's too slow. He's too slow to follow you.
He stares at you as you walk. He stares as that god forsaken bag rolls across the smooth marble floors, making a sound so grating and horrid it makes him want to rip his ears from his head.
He shouldn't cry. He wants to stop you. He wants you to stay. He wants to say those words, he really, really wants to say those words.
'Don't go.'
As the doors slide shut, hiding you from view, he can't hold it in anymore.
He falls to his knees, burying his head in his hands. He cries, he sobs, he begs you to stay, knowing that you aren't here anymore, knowing you can't hear him.
He knows you'll be back. He knows you'll be fine. He knows you won't die. He knows you'll be safe. He knows you'll be fine when you come back. He knows when you'll come back.
Do you not like him? Do you hate him? Why do you have to leave?
He knows why. He can't come along. He wishes, he begs to whatever god is merciful, but none of them listen.
You're leaving again.
He knows he shouldn't cry. He really, really shouldn't cry, but he still, so selfishly, wants to say those words to you.
'Don't go.'
It's so cold. Why is it so cold? Why is the airport so empty? Why is it so dark?
Why can't you stay?
He dries his eyes, leaving the airport. The night is cold, silent, as if judging him. He's being so childish, crying and worrying over a week-long separation. He shouldn't cry.
The floor seems to swim and shift underneath his feet, as if trying to knock him to the ground. The night is falling apart. His vision is blurry. His head hurts. His hands shake. His knees tremble.
He boards the bus, sitting down on the cold plastic seats. He shouldn't cry. He shouldn't cry.
He checks his messages excessively, looking at your empty chat for hours, staring at the illuminated words on the bright screen.
'I'll be back soon!'
He imagines watching you lying down in a hospital bed. He imagines watching you pass on. He imagines your funeral. He imagines your gravestone. He imagines feeling the rough stone underneath his fingertips as he caresses it. He imagines bringing flowers to your grave. He imagines bringing your favourite food to your grave. He imagines crying at your grave. He imagines his tears wetting the soil. He imagines how lonely he'll be without you.
That night, he cries himself to sleep.
× × ×
You look so happy in those pictures you send him.
You're smiling. You're laughing. You're grinning.
You're so much more attractive than usual. You're so much more pretty than usual. Your eyes sparkle so much more than usual. Your hair is so much more shiny than usual. Your smile is so much more radiant than usual.
He stares at the pictures for hours.
He dreads the cold nights. He dreads the lonely mornings. He misses you.
He doesn't go to work all week. He stays at home, sitting in his cold, cold room, the blankets and coats and sweaters and scarves doing nothing. He's so cold without you. Why did you have to leave? You're so warm, and he's so cold. Why did you have to leave?
He doesn't eat, he barely sleeps, just staring at those pictures you sent him. Staring at your happy face, staring at your beaming smile. Staring at you.
Why are you so happy without him? Why don't you seem to miss him? What did he do wrong? Do you not love him? Why do you hate him?
He misses you. He loves you so, so much. He wants you to come back.
He counts the minutes. He counts the hours. He counts every minute you don't message him, and he counts every minute that you do. He counts every minute you call him, and he counts every minute you don't.
Seven more days. Six more days.
He misses you.
Five more days. Four more days.
He misses you.
Three more days. Two more days.
He misses you.
One more day.
He misses you.
× × ×
It's the last day. He's ecstatic, a wide, dopey grin plastered on his face as he quickly showers the first time that week and changes into something presentable. It's all for you.
He runs to the bus when you message that you're reaching soon. He sprints, almost falling over, scrambling up the bus's stairs and settling, shaking, into a cold plastic seat. He's still so, so cold without you. You're so warm, and he's going to be able to feel your heat again.
He stumbles out of the bus, almost falling over as he runs as fast as he can into the cold airport, almost slipping on the cold, smooth marble floors. He sits in the cold metal chair, waiting impatiently. He checks his messages obsessively, watching that live location thing you'd sent him. He watches as your little icon glides slowly across the path. It feels like it goes on forever.
You finally arrive.
He scrambles out of his seat, sprinting towards the doors as they slide open and you slip through. He runs into you, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing, squeezing so hard it pushes the air out of your lungs and leaves purple bruises on your skin.
He holds the back of your head in a tight, crushing hand, running his fingers through your hair. He buries his face in your hair, breathing in your shampoo. He's breathing heavily, and his breathing quickens further when you give a tight hug in return, burying your face into the crook of his neck.
He's shaking, you notice. His grip is tight, crushing, bruising, and he doesn't let go for a long, long time.
When he finally does, though, he lets out a long, slow sigh, his grip loosening a little as he puts some distance in between the two of you, just enough for him to look at your face. He cradles your cheek, his expression calm, calmer than you've ever seen it before.
"I missed you," he says simply, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. You wrap your fingers around his wrist, pressing his palm to your face as you smile at him. "I missed you too."
Those words make him feel good, make him feel better than he's ever felt. You missed him. You missed him even though you were having so much fun. You still love him.
Your eyes light up.
"I got you a gift," you say excitedly, rummaging through your bag. You pull out a small box, about the size of your palm. He takes it from you almost immediately, ripping the cover off.
It's a bracelet. A small, silver one, elegant chain wrapping around winding branches. Gemstones line the sparkling metal. He struggles to get it on, his fingers shaky and his movements fast, almost frantic.
You laugh in amusement. "You like it?"
He envelops you in a crushing hug again, muttering and mumbling as his grip tightens around you. "I love it," you hear, barely intelligible. "I love you. Oh, I love you..."
He releases you from the suffocating hug, his hands on the small of your back.
"Can we go for ramen now?" He asks, almost begs. He's starving, not having eaten a proper meal for a week. "Please? Anata?"
Your heart flutters at the sound of him using that pet name for you. It's so, so rare to hear him calling you anything other than your name. You don't mind it, of course, but this is a... Pleasant surprise.
You smile. "Of course."
His dopey grin widens as he takes your hand in a bruising grip, leading you out of the airport and to his favourite ramen shop.
He's warm.
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angel-archivist · 1 year ago
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It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.
The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.
The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.
The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.
The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?
#and yes i understand! that agab language can in some circumstances be helpful in inclusive language and in the medical world but ultimately#is misgendering and unnecessary it should be up to the person to disclose their agab not an expectation of them to give up freely#I think that inclusive language shouldnt be misgendering in nature and agab as far as i can tell should only be used in select discussions#and certainly not as a way to frame a nonbinary writer as a “biological woman” but in a way where the queer community will nod along and sa#“oh they have a point” because you used the word AFAB instead#honestly afab is the term i see used most frequently and most harmfully towards other nonbinary people who don't identify w the label#to exclude trans women and amab nonbinary people#to frame nonbinary people as “still women” because of their assigned gender at birth#also i understand its not as simple as “not using” these terms bc they still serve a purpose and are important#but as they leave the queer community and as they enter the hands of cis queer people they become weapons#i wish i could like manifest my thoughts super clearly but i really cant bc its a difficult situation#its just another example of misogyny and bio-essentialism creeping into the queer community#because the patriarchy impacts all things including our discussions of trans oppression and gender we need to stop viewing it#as a strict binary of male female and oh sometimes we'll mention nonbinary people but we're all afab and amabs at the end of the day <3#like flames literal flames#if you wanna like chip into the conversation just shoot me an ask or respond to the post i'd love to hear other peoples perspectives#im not infalliable so if i said anything you view as incorrect especially in regards to intersex folks and how you all would like to be#included in these discussions as im not intersex but am aware of how agab is a subject that leans into the idea of a binary of sex#so yeah rant over <3#retro.bullshit#rant
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marleysfinest · 6 months ago
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the person who set up that aot confessions blog and is keeping it running is honestly gods strongest soldier, I for one could never attempt to manage the absolute insane nature of people who take ships so seriously. I'm sorry why are u getting mad over a drawing let people live its not that serious. that being said it is my morning paper now so keep the drama coming
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justaz · 6 months ago
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soft!merthur obsessed with each other and being completely, glaringly obvious about it. walking close enough for their fingers to be constantly brushing, talking with their other hand and refusing to break the touch. standing next to each other in a group, slowly shifting closer and closer until they’re pressed up against each other. despite there being other people, whenever they speak the other just has to respond leading them to turn to one another and have their own back and forth, their heads tilting closer and closer until their noses are just inches apart. merlin pretending to find issues with arthur’s clothes to fix that aren’t actually there just to touch him but arthur’s not gonna comment on that bc it means he gets to feel merlin’s touch. gazing at each other across the room, across the training field, across camp, etc and just watching them exist with the softest gaze and a small, tender smile. when the other feels their gaze they look up at them first and meet their eyes unflinchingly. them staring at each other for a moment before they resume what they should be doing (albeit slightly flustered). arthur finding any excuse to keep merlin in his chambers just a little while longer when he should be retiring for bed
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aroaessidhe · 1 year ago
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2023 reads // twitter thread
To Shape A Dragon’s Breath
YA fantasy
a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniser’s dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic
historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes
bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC
#To Shape A Dragon’s Breath#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is really really good i loved it!#the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool#it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that#I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff#t’s also def YA! i’ve seen a few ppl assume it’s adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m#definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that#was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel#on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening?#that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 -#I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like -#a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!)#some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we don’t really see any practical application#the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series!#also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her 🥺#anyway. i really loved it!#oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture....#To Shape A Dragon's Breath
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mothusband · 2 years ago
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reminder to newcomers that if your blog has no posts, no profile picture, no header, and your blog colors aren't changed, i and most other people will take that as you being a bot and will block and report you as spam if you follow us. go to your profile and click the little paint pallette and give your blog a makeover real quick or if that's too much just change your blog title to something like "not a bot". i really recommend the makeover though because that's much more fun even if you don't want to reblog and you're just here to lurk.
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pikkish · 10 months ago
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breaking news: surprising absolutely no one, pik has fallen in love with the fast paced fps game where the big, silent badass of a main character's sole goal is to protect the small, squishy innocents.
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gremzon · 15 days ago
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I might have OCD actually
#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia#but all my life these “share this text to 10 contacts or your mum will die” always made me unreasonably panicked#and more and more because of posts like “donate now or you are a horrible person” make me deeply unwell#i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault#im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone#and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed#i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name#and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games#but also idk what to do#because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel#overwhelming#but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me “if you dont reply your while family will die in a car crash”#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things#I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore#and i feel terrible#and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like#I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see “donate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poor” kinda posts#it's not even triggering its just making my “ocd” worse than it ever was#all day long my brian been telling me “you will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!”#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way
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danielnelsen · 3 months ago
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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thefandomcassandra · 27 days ago
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I promise I'm trying to write more hallowed, I'm just busy with work. You know how it is with spaghetti (IRL obligations).
I have, however, drawn a scene from the latest chapter (because I was thinking about Cody and Maya and Pearl, as one does), so have this as a consolation prize alongside the information that I'm 1/2 done with the chapter (aka I'm in recess before Cody goes up on stand).
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He shoved the book at her. "It's not like I don't have copies. Some of them are digital photos, y'know?" He held up his camera. "So I can always make a new one. Think of it like, I dunno, proof of our rivalry or whatever." That got a laugh out of her. "Rivalry?" She snorted. "Yeah! For number one Steel Samurai fan! Coz - coz you're smart and know a lot but I know a lot too so we're rivals, right?" Cody looked up at her, his entire face pinched in conflicted pride. "So take this one and I'll make a new one and next time we meet on the battlefield I'll have more photos and you'll maybe add some of your own and—" "Thanks Cody." Maya didn't know what else to say. It was...oddly touching that this little kid—this kid about Pearl's age—wanted to be her friend in his own weird little way. It reminded her a little bit of herself. "No problem!"
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