#just kinda snubbing that same interest

[svtellify]

does anyone else get that sinking feeling when a friend gets really into something you absolutely adore/have been hyperfixating on, but when you mentioned it, they ignored it (and kinda just ignore you unless and will talk over you to talk to their actual friends to the point where you're not even sure if y'all are friends or just acquaintances) and now they're really liking it and you just. want to gatekeep it bc that interest was (and is!) important to you...

or am i just being childish lol

[the-crooked-library]

Yeah I saw memes on xtter about how Nosferatu and Babygirl are the same movie because they're about "a sigma fuckboy whisking away a woman from her weak beta male" and I'm like... is a guy who is after one (1) person that? Really? He has one obsession and contract. You're making a dumb comparison.

Same with the instagram memes that go "Virgin Orlok: had to threaten Ellen VS Chad Dracula: rizzed up Mina by telling her he crossed oceans of time". The movies have lied to you about him

Yep and it annoys me so much!.. I mean -

There are so many better and more accurate ways to make fun of Orlok. I mean, he's a massive simp, he lives with 5000 rats, he's literally rotting but he's got a 10-step moustache care routine, he had to learn to cook to feed Thomas, etc etc. There's no need to make shit up, he's a mess as it is

The Dracula shit is even more annoying tbh because the only reason Dracula is even interested in Mina in the 1992 film is BECAUSE OF ORLOK in the first place. It's a derivation of Murnau's 1922 Nosferatu, that is the first time a romantic fixation was introduced to a Dracula adaptation, and everyone that came after was just using that concept because it proved to be very compelling. Orlok is the literal origin of this romance trope

- but let's be honest, if Orlok looked like Bill Skarsgard, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place.

[the-monkey-ruler]

what are some upcoming xiyouji media that you’re excited for?

Here are a few!

2020 Journey to the West: Conquer the Demons 西游降魔篇 - I think this is like a re-write of the whole Chow Xiyouji films into a tv series!

2020 I'm Not a Great Sage 我不是大圣 - the Six-Earred Macaque being seen as a hero when he is trying so hard to be a villain. (Correction there are two movies with the same name and I got the poster for the wrong one whoops)

2021 Seven Sages 七圣 - a movie all about Wukong's brotherhood like with Snub-Nose Monkey King or Flood Dragon King!

2021 Sun Wukong: Heaven Devourer Monkey孙悟空之噬天魔猴 Trailer - the animation for this looks AMAZING AND I CANT WAIT!!!

2022 King of Confusion: The Rise of the Great Sage / Four Monkeys in Confusion 混世之王：混世四猴 /混世之王之大圣崛起 - Super excited to see Wukong and ALL THE SPIRITUAL MONKEYS!!! FINALLY THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE

2022 Bajie: Movie Preview 八戒：電影搶先看 - I am a huge Bajie fan and this just looks ADORABLE!

2022 The Lower Boundary of the Canopy of Bajie八戒之天蓬下界 - Another Bajie love story and honestly this one looks precious, he really trying to just get his weapon back but oh no he is being WOOED!

2022 Red Boy: Newborn Calf红孩儿之初生牛犊 - super fun animation! Really want to see the back story in this one!

2022 Monkey King and JJ大圣和江流儿 - I NEED THIS I NEED THIS LIKE WATER I NEED HERO IS BACK WUKONG TO BE A FATHER PLEASE

2023 The Legends of Monkey King 凌云志 - This was based on like a web novel and it sound more insane that it should be. can't say it is "good" but it def sounds interesting at LEAST.

2025Monkey King: The Havoc in Heaven西游记之大圣闹天宫 - I have heard that THIS is going to be a prequel to the 2015 Hero is Back Movie SO !!!!!!!!!!!! WOULD LOVE TO SEE MORE HERO IS BACK WUKONG HE IS LIKE MY SECOND FAVORITE!!!

2030Monkey King: Flame Mountain孙悟空之火焰山 - the animation here just looks so interesting and Wukong looks so uncaney valley I'm really interested about this one.

NullThe Monkey Prince - this one is kinda a cheat but it is a WUKONG-inspired character and honestly, this looks like a lot of fun!!

NullJourney to the West - I can only PRAY that the art style of the poster for this movie is the same as the animation. I have NEVER seen a Xiyouji movie done by the French but if they make it this whimsical and colorful attitude I'm HERE FOR IT.

Needless to say, I'm excited about a lot of things.

[ladybugsimblr]

iambkay Thank you starlightboulevard for inviting me to host tonight’s Nomination Ceremony. Congratulations again to all the nominees for Fall Accolades and Celebrity Tile placements this year! It still feels like a dream to see my name amongst the legends on the Boulevard and I wish all of you can feel the same one day. I am also so very honored to be the first recipient of the Global Innovator Award. I hope to continue to live up to such a prestigious title. 🦋

-

simshaderoom Nominations are out for the Starlight Accolades. #BaileyKay hosted the event and collected new bling she won earlier this week. Noticeably missing from the list once again was #DizzyDes. Everyone thought this was finally going to be his year to get on the Starlight Boulevard, but looks like he will have to keep waiting. Y'all think this has anything to do with the BK vs Dizzy feud??? 🤔

d-lo Congratulations Queen!!! Who do I have to speak to so I can get my ⭐ next to yours?! #Vybez #Winning 🎧🦋

dizzydes Where is that conspiracy guy because this shit is crazy! Snubbed again by the Boulevard when my success speaks for itself. The numbers don’t lie! And now we’re making up awards because the spoiled princess can’t win anything for the actual music??!! Real interesting…

rubberbandshan Congratulations Queen BK! We know you don’t need awards to tell you how great you are but that bling still looks good on you.

rubberbandshan Also D-Lo returns to the top spot!!!!!! Can't hold him down. Congratulations on making it to the Boulevard!

kingb I love this Fucked Around and Found Out Tour that Dizzazter is on! Getting my 🦋 Hive liiiiiiife. Congratulations to the Queen and King!

anon I swear I'm not on Dizzy's side but this random ass award is kinda weird. It seems like the Starlight Academy is trying to make up for BK not getting the awards she used to. Just a thought.

wildbutterfly I mean this with all respect but daaaaamn the girls are SITTING in this dress and BK is looking so... luscious. I just want to be in the room. Just want to observe. That's all...

c.spiracy I heard I was summoned but I don't work for you Dizzy. I was also too busy looking for clues and you almost made me miss an obvious one. The necklace... one large mama butterfly and her four baby butterflies surrounding her. Sighs in I'm always right.

[rush-the-stars]

okok i had to message you again (im the anon who spelled your name wrong but now i just made a whole new blog for trigun yippee!!)

but ANYWAYS so vash is a beta….which very well means NAI is a beta. And at first im like nah Nai would be an alpha all the way, or at least he would want to be an alpha(male lmao). BUT THEN I GOT THINKING. He would totally turn that beta shit to be superior in a way? Like ‘these dumb humans who have these uncontrollable urges. I’m above all that. Perfectly balanced in-between.’ And honestly it works for a while because he doesn’t keep anyone close to him. Sends anyone away who is even showing a HINT of a rut or heat.

But then you come along, an omega who isn’t even close to a heat. And Nai has been denying his body for so long that your scent alone just sends him into a spiral (maybe kinda like a fated mates thing idk idk) His rut is SO intense that for a moment he thinks he might have been an alpha all along.

idk idk i just have thoughtsssssss :)))))

omg hiiiii friend!! love your pfp LMAOOO

this is really interesting bc it begs the question of like...are twins the exact same secondary gender?? but i feel like you ARE right to assume that nai would be a beta too and like when i started this idea, the reason vash could switch sexes as a beta was because he was a Plant/independent and kinda playing off of how plants reproduce on their own! but then i was like..,.idk it's fun to just mess with betas entirely bc they get snubbed a lot in omegaverse and i think there's potential there. ANYWAYS.

i agree that nai would think he's superior still. however. i think the nebulous nature of being a beta would concern him somewhat. he doesn't like not being in control. he certainly avoids everyone but betas in my mind (maybe hence why he thinks they're superior, because they won't ever experience an Estrus cycle UNLESS they're around someone in rut or heat.....) so IN THEORY, a beta ONLY around betas their whole life, may never experience a cycle. this is a fun world building exercise.

v fascinated by a nai whose never been around an omega and suddenly experiences a rut for the first time because of them. i think he feels a lot of loathing actually jfkdlsfjkslfks i imagine he maybe forces himself to suffer through it without.....doing what he wants with you. its his show of strength/control. now he can also claim superiority over alphas even further.

(i think he would help you relieve your heat, though. half curiosity. half bc he can't deny all instincts. just might only be with his fingers. maybe mouth. he shows much Restraint.)

anywyas fjkdlsfkds sorry for rambling THANK YOU for this ask i am chewing on it for sure

[c1trvswurld]

Analyzing the Dethklok boys and their relation to Gods

So I've recently gotten into Metalocalypse and was kinda upset that no one in my vicinity has either not heard or cares about this show enough to yap and analyze it with me but then I remembered that I have a Tumblr just collecting dust and this is a perfect place to just...talk. But anyway going back to the whole purpose of this post I wanted to touch on the boys pretty literal godhood presented in the show and how it reflects on their character and their backstories starting with...

Toki Wartooth

Starting off with one of the easiest to analyze since he arguably has the most lore present to the viewer. Throughout the series, toki is presented as the most childish as well as the most emotional of the group with parallels to the angle of death sprinkled everywhere. It's prophesized that anyone he loves or finds dear kicks the bucket with the boys being an exception (since IMO their prophecy and own godlike powers kinda cancel it out). Whether it is that child fan whom he was unironically doing the favor of declining her until the last second or his own father- everyone he loves either dies or never progresses in life (i.e. Dr.Rockso). By nature he is a bad omen who particularly gets canceled out by another member- I'll get into that shut up- but also has weird relations with the big man upstairs, Jesus Christ. His appearance is even similar to that of him and in scenes of his childhood where he's being heavily abused by his parents, you can see parallels of the lashings on his back. When being tortured by Magnus alongside Abigail they are crucified and put into the position Jesus once was in. [Also, sidenote I find it interesting how he deals with stressful situations either by tweaking or age-regressing by having Pickles be his caretaker. Since you can see him slowly regress through the series (no he did not regress all of a sudden after being saved you can clearly see how he regresses throughout the series, and I stand on that bruh) but regresses hard during the aftermath.]

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Being the adonis he is, I think Skwisgaar represents life to counter Toki's roots in death. His appearance replicating common ideals of angels paired with his height and canonical attractiveness, Skwisgaar is truly a seductress of all sorts. To the point, I get huge Zeus feelings from him (hell it was kinda pushed into our faces during the episode showing how many children he's fathered). His learned skill contrasts itself with Toki's raw talent and has a constant clash- going back to the fact that they represent death and life respectively. I think their constant fighting kinda represents the back and forth between life and death, and those small tidbits where they do show compassion towards each other are a display of how one couldn't exist without the other. It's the fear of Toki possibly getting better than him that pushes Skwisgaar to be on top of shit and it's Skwisgaar's superiority complex and constant snubbing of Toki that pushes the other to battle for the same position. It's another interesting thing how they both deal with their traumas differently. as I truly believe Skwisgaar is prolly hypersexual due to being constantly exposed to well.. sex. And when he's not pondering on that aspect of his life then he's parading around his guitar skills as another coping method. I mean his guitar is LITERALLY part of him 24/7.

Nathan Explosion

Saw a bunch of discussions/debates on what Nathan could be, ranging from power, love, and rage (tbh that's more William than anything). And I think it's a mixture. Nathan is the only member of Dethklok to actually seem to have a stable background out of all of the band, also being the only member consistently in non-one note relationships. And while he does divulge himself groupies he seems to be genuinely interested in having long-term relationships as seen with him getting ready to propose to Abigail (which I honestly think he didn't really want to, he just felt something was missing and hoped a woman he had something with could fulfill that purpose). All of this makes me think he has some domain/relation to love as well as power seeing his influence of thousands being the head of Dethklok. His power is so insanely strong that whenever he doesn't deliver or even when he does via performances the area goes to shit and he strikes up chaos. A little part of me wonders if that's because all of the boys performing is like some Leviathan event but I digress. And in this role, it is Nathan who counters...

William

William arguably has the least info bout his background other than how his two parents died and how he was treated harshly in school, there's not jack about him. However, I do feel like he has domain over hate, pride, and chaos. I mean this man's hatred is so intense that it extends to every part of himself and is an essential part of Dethklok's sound. Without him, they are positive, which funny enough is pretty reflective of the role of bass in a band. It's the link between the drums and everything else. So no matter what the rest of the instruments are doing at that moment the bass sets a tone and is fundamentally dictated by him. He's a mean, vulgar, and brash force that in a weird way counters everyone a tad bit. (love lil bro for that tho).

Pickles

Quite literally being dubbed the mother of the group by fandom and cannon I think Pickles represents the maternal figure of the group kinda. But at the same time he neither counters nor has a specific role in the group that isn't being the drummer. (though drummers act like the temporal glue i.e. wrangling his stupid bandmates to the right path) He takes on this id personality yet also acts brash. The closest thing I could compare him to being a Dionysus figure. Specifically how he represents overindulgence which can be seen in his multitude of addictions but his insanely high tolerance, other than the relation to alcohol Dionysus also has 2 sides just like pickles. One minute he is the most stable and mature of the group and the next he is thrown into a jealous or petty rage. (which can be seen in fatherklok of with Abigail and Nathan)Most often being spurred on by his family history of being the scapegoat for all their problems. And if you subscribe to the pickles is trans propaganda (which I fully am fucking down for) then the weird parallels between Dionysus's split presentation between femininity and masculinity interacting with each other is interesting to see. Especially when he becomes a maternal figure for toki, Skwisgaar, and William- but a pseudo partner for Nathan who also kind of represents the patriarchal power in the home. Paired with Dionysus having domain over theatre and entertainment is interesting with his roots in glam metal being the frontman for Snakes and Barrels.

anyways little shitty rant is OVER! I love this series so very much and I'm sad I just got into this fandom.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hey Booky! Marketing anon here.

So I had thought and I wanted to share with you something that’s not marketing specific related. I confirmed that TMZ did indeed crop fish out of the post with Chris of stars at the CAA party.

So, here’s the thing. Since I’ve already mentioned I work in marketing and PR, and my role very strictly aligns with legal, you’ll notice why I choose my words carefully and even if people want me to bash Fish I don’t. Not because I like her (I do not) but because I’m well trained in my job. I only say what I feel has concrete evidence to support my arguments. Fans hatred and opinions while valid cannot be the source of justification. Unless there’s hard evidence I will stay away from saying anything direct…

Just like those shady fuckers at TMZ 😉

Pay attention to TMZ. ET, JJ, ENews, etc are all paid to push a certain narrative because that’s how it works. But the fact that TMZ continues to be subtly shady is very interesting to me. Two years in and it’s still this way.

“Chris confirms he got married” - TMZ. Why didn’t they just say TMZ confirms? Because…they can’t. Two kinda ceremonies and sometimes rings and alluding based on IG follows is not confirmation. He said it, yes. That’s why they can write he confirms. But they can’t confirm it was with her because he didn’t say it. And even if he walks around with her and they wear rings - lol, they still haven’t said they married each other. Do you see why TMZ has to refrain? It’s a little silly at this point because most ppl have come accept Occam’s razor, but it is Hollywood. What happens here stays here but also doesn’t but also can be anything and nothing at the same time.

TMZ knows this and they also know out of anyone the shit that goes down in Tinseltown. Don’t y’all find it odd they’ve been so reluctant on this whole SS - barely choosing to report and only doing it when they absolutely have to? I’m not saying that this means they don’t think the two got legally married, but I am saying they have reason to believe in reasonable doubt.

Look at TMZ’s website and IG. They’re basically deuxmoi most of the time. Reporting on Kanye’s wife wearing assless pants to an industry party??? They’re no better than daily mail. Except TMZ is founded by ex/lawyers if I’m not mistaken and they know how to cover all the loopholes. They can say with confidence Kanye and his wife because I think they found the wedding certificate. They can sit here and make posts about Timothee and Kylie and Travis and Taylor despite the very very obvious PR element because both sides have acknowledged each other publicly more than once, have been seen in public attending and pda-ing at industry events, and they’re honestly more entertaining to write about.

Chris on his own can be interesting and when something pertaining to him happens TMZ may report on it. But it’s painfully clear TMZ does not care about fish. I’m pretty sure this latest snub by them sort of confirms that so I can at least say that. I won’t say she’s blacklisted or anything because she’s clearly not. But I don’t believe she’s far from scraping the bottom of the barrel either. Oops

Again, TMZ is no better than the rest of them but they do know how to work their way around a legal loophole and make sure they cover their grimy asses. I’ll give them that.

Bye love ❤️

They're smart.

No wonder they're extremely opinionated 😆 they're founded by ex/lawyers 😁 and how they manage to stay afloat, even with their words.

And the way they do it is mighty impressive to me. Plus, they win points for the shade.

And Marketing An🫶n, you're doing great! Anyone who's read your messages can attest to that. It's why we look forward to your replies 😌 helps us see and learn something that we didn't understand before you told us.

So, once again... Thank you 🥰

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

oh that's interesting!! i think it could somewhat be a similar situation with luca guadagnino for us, strangely enough? i mean, ppl who are into cinema def know him and appreciate his movies! but i don't perceive him to be a *big* movie director here? we have our own version of the oscars, i david di Donatello, and he gets consistently snubbed there (as opposed to, say, paolo sorrentino who is kind of the industry's darling). not even mentioning la chimera, man they did both the film and alba rohrwacher so dirty.

seems like it often happens that when native actors get famous outside of their country, it creates a distance? as opposed to when they get famous nationally and then internationally. idk. maybe it's not always like that but it's cool to think about.

omg al bano and romina!! 😂 they are definitely seen more seriously by the older generations, al bano especially is mostly a meme for us ahsjs if you look up 'al bano urla AAAAAAA per 10 minuti' (al bano screams AAAAAAA for 10 minutes) you'll find the most famous meme of his LOL.

yeah the music is a bit cringy but you'll find us singing the lyrics of Felicità whenever it comes on! actually i have no clue on what europeans think, because we have singers that we consider The Greats (kind of like divinities, really) but often times the ones that are well known in europe/outside of italy are a bit unserious 😭 like a reverse example would be stereo love, for us it's unironically a BOP, at least it very much is to me!! same with dragonstea din tei like that's a a smash hit for real.

ps: if you do end up doing the train trip please don't put too much faith in our transportation system haha, especially when you're visiting the south. check if there are direct trains without you having to switch them, and take into consideration delays and stuff like that when you're planning. it runs pretty smoothly in the north but the more you get close to the south the worse it gets 😂 what cities did you wanna visit if i may ask?

Ok, there's like a bunch of topics here, let me answer each separately.

1. I actually watched Guadagnino's films before his international/american rise to fame. A Bigger Splash (The La Piscine remake. Good, not remarkable) and Io Sono L' amore which I loved and I would choose it over any of his films post CMBYN. But if I had to choose between Sorrentino and him, it would be Sorrentino. In a heartbeat, no doubts. His films make me feel like I'm watching something truly special, it's real cinema to me. Perhaps because of some of his obvious Fellini influences.

2. Of course he's a meme, why am I not surprised? 😂 But you're right, they're really anchored to the older generation. It's pop culture, but really specific to a certain period and countries.

3. I had to google Stereo Love, I couldn't remember what that song was. I hated it, but my feelings made sense for its release year in 2009. You wouldn't have caught me listening to radio hits because I thought I had better taste (I was just entering adolescence so my attitude made sense). But with Dragostea din tei it's different. I don't think I know one person that doesn't like that song. I don't know how it got that big, but it's still mindblowing to hear it in all sorts of contexts (even in a Xavier Dolan movie!).

4. This is just a fantasy trip, the ones you'd make late at night when you're bored and you look up flights and hotels. Kinda like window shopping. I was looking at Verona, Florence, Rome. The usual hotspots, but I had in mind accesibility. It's one thing to travel by car and another by train, yk? But this is all just an imaginary trip, but I do hope that at some point later in this life I can go back to Italy. As to the transportation system, thank you for the heads up, but I'm already used to the "reliability" here in Romania. Nothing can ever surprise me, from delays, to broken trains, broken AC, you name it.

Thank you for getting back to the conversation, anon! It's a nice change of mood here.

[tpher]

to me probably the most insulting part of Carrie as a character is the way she has the same voice actress as Bridgette so like why not just bring back Bridgette?😭 why make up a new character with the most lackluster gimmick ever instead of fleshing out a character that consistently got the short end of the stick. may be a hot take but id probably prefer Bridgette in the place of Geoff because he got further in island and had an actual arc in action unlike her. Sure she was in world tour as well but she got snubbed the hell out of there too. I just want to see a Bridgette independence arc and carrie kinda shoves in your face that we didnt get one LOL

yeaaa that wouldve been interesting! i was thinking if carrie was still lackluster, at least just get her and devin out of the season a lot sooner. why keep them so long 😭

but if someone else like bridgette was there, then it wouldve been a lot better use of that time! if they wrote geoff a lot better than they had for a while there, then surely they wouldve done a great job w bridgette

also bridgette being in the race instead of geoff kffbdkdn im sure she wouldve brought her own friend but my first thought was that its still brody. and she likes him fine enough! but geoff RLY wanted them to bond even more and brody sometimes gets a little too silly for her but she doesnt wanna be mean to her bfs bf(f) yknow!!! automatically a better team idea than carrie and devin. this team name could still be "the best friends" bc theyre geoffs best friends !!!!!! wah

[edgarrallannhoe]

7-08-024 man, i fucked up.

today,tomorrow,to…

Ive been vomiting for the past 24+ hours now. i like to say “hahah i’m vomiting SO MUCH but idk why..” i know why. Rome makes me sick, rome makes me want to relapse, rome allows me to relapse. I know it’s no rome’s fault here, i wish it was. I wish all of this was anyone else fault but mine, but here we are, with all the faults in the world i guess.

i have to say tho, among all of the european capitals, rome is the least chic one by a mile.

Yesterday a bought me some Ketamine. I have a complicated relationship with K since the first time i tried it almost twelve-thirteen years ago and not knowing how to use it i just decided to open the bag and snort the whole thing in one line. Bad idea, i spent the night hugging the service toilet at my highschool with a friend making fun of me during the whole thing. Then after that day, i snubbed it at practically every occasion i had, i just wasn’t interested in that devilish thing again, and now, since a few years i’m again at it. I don’t want to talk about this tho, kinda boring, kinda useless.

8-08-024 somebody save me from myself

the purge

i tried to force myself to post, but i started writing then said “fuck it, why should anybody care?” then said “BuT IM DoInG tHIs FoR MySeLf sO whY dOeS it maTTeR if people enjoy it?” and then again “i’m lying as usual, few are the things i do where i’m not concerned about how i will be perceived, social media isn’t one of them.” so i’m here now, less whiny than the other day, but more sick.

I keep vomiting, crying, then trying to drink lil sips of water then vomiting again the same water i just drank. Atp this night i felt like a dry prune, without water, without anything substantial in me, wrinkled and all, i was literally crying hugging my garbage bin: i want to note that the garbage bin is literally kinda a wicker basket, so lot of holes and whatnot. I said to my dad, that because of my “puking problem” maybe we should pick a new one that doesn’t make everything messier every time this happens, and he bought another bin…. a DRILLED metallic one, so now i have a little drilled bin inside a wicker basket, a nightmare every time, now i have to also clean them after i’m finished!

i don’t think i have an ED, or at least not in the way it is usually explained. Ive always been skinny and kinda minature, and always ate whatever, but i have to admit that while once i believed ( and sometimes said myself ) the whole “i eat whatever and whenever and i stay sKiNNnYyYyYy” , i know understand this whole thing better. While i have a fast metabolism and a skinny/petite corporature, and it’s true that sometimes i eat McDonald’s four days in a row, i don’t put weight on cause i eat nothing during the whole day tho. like, i wake up and drink latte macchiato ( idk outside Italy what Latte Macchiato is, here is just like 1/4 coffee and 3/4 milk with maybe a lil sugar ), then mid morning i drink Latte macchiato, then i skip lunch, then in the afternoon you guess it! Latte macchiato! ( if it’s summer sometimes it gets changed with a cold Cola in the glass bottle, love it ), and THEN i eat McDonald’s. But if you consider the fact that i’m pretty active as a person , always moving even if i’m home in bed, and that i only drink coffee and milk the whole day, it’s not weird not gaining weight if you have a crispy mcBacon for dinner 4 nights straight.

So yeah, i think that whole “eat a lot don’t put on weight” it’s a little bit of a fairytale, but i’m sure that there is always a girl swearing that for them is exactly like that. Good for you Veronica.

Sometimes is also happens, that because i don’t really eat during the day, i end up having less hunger than if i ate ( i always ate slay✨), and then the hunger makes me nauseous, so then i vomit but i vomit absolutely nothing but slimish green bile, and then i am even more “hungry”- the problem is that i’m not, even when i am atp, i’m not hungry, i feel nauseous and i know that it’s because i need to eat, but i would rather not- it becomes a cycle, and every time is exhausting, this night i felt like i just wanted to die. I just wanted to be put off of this misery. Now it’s kinda better, kinda, rn here is 12AM, i woke up at three AM to, you guess it, vomit and it went on until almost two hours ago, i feel like shit.

I bought a watermelon at the store/supermarket, there is a real market near the store with better watermelons but i don’t want to enter that lively place, vade retro lol, so i’m okay with a watery and less red watermelon. i’m now eating in very small bites a small pizza no topping and all, but i’m far from feeling fine.

ok ill stop writing for now, IM DYIIIIING- i wish i was - aaaaaaaaaghhh somebody save me fucking please

xx emma

[coulsonlives]

ATLA spoilers/Azula stuff. Kinda big mad now, why does this fandom suck so hard.

I posted something in the ATLA fandom for the first time and was super excited about participating. Then I was immediately grossed out by how much ship hate and toxic discourse there is oml.

The ship wars surrounding Zutara are bad enough, especially when I ship all the things. But on top of that, apparently if you think Azula can be redeemed (not in the sense of being forgiven, but more like coming to terms w her past actions and sorting out her very, very obvious baggage), or are even ambivalent to the idea, you're a fascist sympathizer?!

I don't even care what happens to Azula. but some people really gotta chill with the attacks and tbh, totally reductive takes?

For starters, Azula was literally groomed to become a child soldier by her father. It doesn't excuse her actions at all, but there are so many signs in the show to explain why she is like she is, and why her finding some kind of closure wouldn't be out of the blue. The whole point of her and Zuko's backstories were to show how things came to be how they were. The writers and animators didn't put that stuff there for no reason.

That look on her face when Ty Lee was speaking during the campfire scene, for example? She was obviously sympathetic to Ty Lee, but as soon as Ty Lee looked at her, she snubbed her! She wanted to care, but she didn't want to show it. World's most obvious 'tough guy' act, and how much do we wanna bet it was because her father didn't let her show weakness, and she was just more receptive to indulging it than Zuko was, for whatever psychological reasons? She came off like she was hard-wired for self-interest, which probably predisposed her to all of Ozai's bs. But I also see people calling Azula a psychopath, and I'm like bruh, did we watch the same show?! A psychopath would feel no emotions about hurting people, Azula clearly does feel stuff, even if she takes pride in her war-related work, which does involve hurting/killing people. She's not a psychopath by definition, plain and simple, calling her that is reductive af.

I don't even think 'psychopath' is the right term to use in general for people like that, so there lol. Credibility points -1.

Then she apologized to Ty Lee during the party. Her apology could've just been a way to keep Ty Lee on her side, but then she went a step further and openly admitted to being jealous of Ty Lee. What purpose did that serve in the initial apology? None! She just did it because reasons, it had no functional or tactical purpose. Her interactions with all the party people screamed that she wanted relationships, too, but she didn't know how to communicate, and it obviously bugged her. She was upset about it.

She's shown she cares for Zuko at many different times, for example, she finds out he's been visiting Iroh, but she doesn't tell anyone even though she should. She's 'looking out for him'.

She also had a total breakdown at the end of the show. Again does it excuse her actions? Nah fam, not at all. But her emotional turmoil was super obvious. She'd built up an identity around being strong and winning at all costs, and she lost it, and she never got closure with her mom, so she didn't have anything left and she just.. cried. That doesn't sound irredeemable to me, that sounds like a scared fucking person who is wondering why the f everything they're doing, which they've been told to do from day one, is falling apart.

She's a 14-y/o child soldier, and I'm not about to say child soldiers are all irredeemable (again in the context of finding self acceptance and closure) in spite of the horrors they've done and the brainwashing. She's also a product of her environment and her abusive father, of generational trauma, and I'm not about to say people who grew up in abusive households can never get better from all the harm that was done to em! I've seen some really shitty people totally turn over a new leaf.

One of the best quotes from the show is something Aang says: 'Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil.'

So I'm not buying the narrative that Azula is pure distilled evil and has nothing going for her, not with what the show has given us. Ozai had virtually no redeeming qualities, but there are so many hints with Azula that it really pisses me off to see so much garbo talk around her.

Anyways that's my complaining for today.

I really don't wanna go near this fandom. I don't know what the tags are for discourse/harassment free stuff, where people can just ship what they want, and want what they want, without being heckled or shit on. If anyone knows a tag or some blogs like that, hmu.

(Inb4 all the people without nuance interpret this as 'I support Azula's war crimes', who are the main reason I sure as f won't be letting this loose with reblogs. I guess people can still screenshot this and take bits out of context, but idgaf. Their problem not mine!)

[aerosiderwrites]

I think the most fun ones to think abt this for would be the rly repressed/touch starved ones like Diluc, Xiao, Scara, and Albedo. I’m also adding Childe cos I think he’s neat <3

warnings for genre typical unhealthy portrayals of relationships, and implied kidnapping

Being affectionate with Diluc is often like trying to coax a stubborn turtle from it’s shell.

Diluc is stuck in a rock and a hard place of wanting nothing more than your attention and affection, but being painfully self aware that you’re just like that, meaning you touch other people like you do him. He knows he hasn’t exactly been forward with his interest in you (partially because he doesn’t know how to express himself without being overbearing), so he bottles it up, only voicing an issue if you ask about it. He’s also very shy about it in public, not wanting to be observed being too close with you, because in his mind that means he absolutely has to take you and lock you away and there’s no way he would do that other than as a last resort.

Being affectionate with Albedo is comfortable and welcoming.

Albedo doesn’t mind at all initially. He knows you’re just affectionate like that, and it helps him feel closer to you, so he enjoys it, focusing primarily on you and him before letting any darker feelings take over. He’s not exactly happy when he observes you being affectionate with others, but he tolerates it all the same, since you will end up with him once he’s gathered enough data about how you act when left to your own devices.

Being affectionate with Xiao feels like earning the trust of a neighborhood cat.

Xiao has a pretty big problem with receiving affection at all initially, leading to a different problem at first. He’s not at all used to it, and doesn’t really know how to react except with cold indifference. He doesn’t hate it, he just has a hard time with articulating or even understanding his own feelings. He doesn’t want to discourage you, at least until he notices that you’re affectionate with your other friends. He feels childish being jealous but anger gnaws at him when he thinks about you being so kind to others, and quite dramatically feels like you’re cheating on him. Is there a relationship in place? No, but he’s already devoted himself to you, and you had clearly shown interest, so he’s hurt. He’s going to be the meanest about wanting affection after he takes you, frustrated that you’re now somehow not as willing to be affectionate.

Being affectionate with Scaramouche is like gaining the trust of a feral neighborhood cat.

If you’re close enough with Scaramouche to be affectionate you’re way too close and it’s way too late. Scaramouche is going to staunchly reject any affection at first, but then also angrily confront you when he’s noticed you’ve listened to him and respected his wishes and ceased all together. This all in private of course. Even approach him with positive emotions in public and he’ll snub you, but in private he’s living for it (secretly, but you can hear how he hums when you squeeze). Don’t let him find out you’re affectionate with other people. He’s going to remove them or you immediately, and similarly to Xiao, resent your friendly and affectionate way of being and slut shame you. 

Being affectionate with Childe is something akin to merely stepping into the ocean and getting swept up by a tide.

Childe is so entertained by it. He’s kinda shocked he’s managed to get this close to you without setting off major enough red flags, and is so endeared to the fact that you naturally are so expressive with the people you care about. Every friend you hug on the street puts another target on another person’s back though for when you start wising up to his true nature, so Childe tolerates it for now. He is openly greedy after a while, demanding your time and attention. He does plan to control every aspect of your life, and knows during the training process, getting your willing affection will be rare, so he’s enjoying you as much as possible.

[ddarker-dreams]

I think a comprehensive list of Genshin characters matched with each MBTI type would be really interesting! Maybe then I’d finally know what character would be able to deal with an INFJ like myself 😭

DO I DO IT... do i bite the bullet... i kinda want to make two separate lists — one that pairs up each MBTI type with what is considered to be "their natural partners" (aka having the same dominant function but if it's extraverted you'd be paired with introverted, or vice versa) and another that has my personal take. i actually have a compiled list of the former, buuuut looking at how some MBTI types get a bunch of characters while some hardly have any makes me know i'm aboutta get hate anon'd to hell and back if i post it. 😔 the ISFPs and INFPs in particular get snubbed on this list because there are so few genshin characters that fall into their natural partners using this method. i don't want the introverts coming for me in the night .

another issue that i have personally with this list is that i'm referring to the personality database's typing of the genshin characters just to be consistent, yet i actually disagree with a few of their categorizations (i see eula as more of an INTJ than an ENTJ for example).

so. this leaves the other option of me just making a list off of how i interpret the vibes or what i'd find an interesting dynamic. thinking emoji ......

[noblehcart]

here's the thing that people don't discuss (which its a musical its not gonna use up precious time unnecessarily for depth) but gl.eb finding the THREE OF THEM IN PARIS. More below the cut-

like....paris is fucking massive and clustered and packed with people and he is ONE MAN trying to find three people. he detectives his way through paris and hitting street after street and asking all the questions and trying to figure out where they might head. like....can you IMAGINE trying to find three people in the entire city without a clue about where tf they are without our modern tech help?????? THIS WAS IN 1928. the same year sliced bread was invented. yeah folks take THAT in. 

back to gleb; his only clues is that if they're in paris & they're going to try to get to the former dowager empress which isn't much. you try figuring out where a royal might be crashing in a city without tech i remind you. i'm just imagining all the tea shops and neighborhoods and russian clubs he scoped out till he hit the Neva club to finally get something of a hint with Vlad and Lily which IF I MAY REMIND YOU he's never technically seen Vlad and if he did it was just a rough sketch. it was ALSO just sheer luck that lily was there that night and that they dropped the ticket stubs.

and lets also remember how gleb is treated by the other russians in paris. the guy at the door was a frickin ass though i suppose he might have been trying to be semi-helpful in an upturned nose kinda way for a door-greeter. "only just off the train russians wear shoes like yours." which honestly really hit me from a cultural perspective because i often see that reaction with other hispanics who were here in the states longer by a few years and turn their noses at the newer immigrants as though they were less-than having forgotten their roots of being just like them. like OOPH. but can we clap gleb for handling that snub politely and respectfully???? (...at first at least the second time he got snippy which tbh i don’t blame him for)

and lets not also forget that in the convo at the club the guests said swan lake was 'next week' - like gleb had to stay in paris for a week in between the neva club and the ballet which makes me wonder what he did with his time aside from narrowing down anya's whereabouts.

i just have thoughts about gleb in paris okay. it ought to be a novella in itself with his detective-prowess in all this. yes i know i know his intentions weren't great, but he's a complex character trying to save a girl from self-disaster, live up to his father's legacy and protect his country from a world shattering possibility that could destabilize an already unstable order. its not a black and white story folks and i just love positing this conundrum to my younger cousins because there's always two sides to a story than just the story that's being told. that in the end the story is about family, fear, love and humanity which is why i love love this story.

if you're interested in something adjacent i HIGHLY recommend the Inspector Pekkala series by Sam Eastland at least the first two books which REALLY solidified a majority of my OCs for this fandom because liesel, ruslan, and stefan would not be who they are now without that series.

[justmypartner]

It’s crazy to think about how snubbed pd actually is. I mean I know it’s a procedural drama and they are always kinda ignored but it’s one of the most watched tv drama on tv that airs on NBC, majority of the episodes are compelling and even when they’re not so interesting the actors performances are top notch. Every time. All of them are amazing. The cinematography is stellar.

I’m not just referring to awards or stuff like that but more things like promotion, magazine’s shootings etc

The talent on pd really is phenomenal - the actors, the writers, the production crew, and everyone in between. The love and passion everyone has for the show/for one another really shines through in every episode. Looking at all of the oc shows, they continue to do so well despite the way promotions for them have dwindled over the years. It’s pretty impressive if you think about it. I wish we could see the actors on talk shows/interviews again like we used to, because it feels like we only get these things for specific episodes/special occasions (like oc day or milestone eps). As you said though, pd & the rest of the trio continue to hold the place of most watched dramas for their time slots, so even without the promotion they’re still doing something right to have the following they do - however, it does suck to not get the same recognition/promo as other shows seem to get

[giisheree]

Six of crows by Leigh Bardugo

So, I have a funny story about this book. It’s not really funny, but it kinda amuses me how I snubbed this book and its saga from years now, tv show included.

The first time I heard about it, it was years ago and a friend of mine just told me that I had to read it because there were characters I would have definitely liked to draw. I never read it back then and, in my defense, I was going through a sort of break up with reading: since uni, I had always less spare time and I spent most of it drawing, preferring easier and far more immediate tv shows to relax. For a while I blamed it also on the genre (not because I was, in fact, tired) because growing up my interests changed and I tried new genres, new authors, new themes that sometimes I enjoyed (sometimes not), but that anyway convinced me that fantasy and YA were a closed chapter of my childhood. Before SoC, I haven’t read a fantasy in YEARS.

Last year, though, my best friend told me I should have watched Shadow and Bone and I postponed the same way I did with the book. Really, I blamed again on the genre: I wasn’t into fantasy anymore, or not like before, so I told her that I would have watched when I would have felt like it. When I was in the mood.

In the end, I started it with a dose of courage and I finished the show in a couple of days, brought the book of the Crows (despite telling myself to finish the ones on the nightstand first) because I got obsessed over them. I read it like a drug. I loved every single page, every single character and I’m sad already that I’m ending Crooked Kingdom.

You can understand when a book, or a show, has my heart when: I reread/rewatch spasmodically, or when I do tons of illustrations about it. I’ve started already, but get ready.