#just kills me that I was literally good for nothing else but piano

[gummy-sharks666]

Someday I’m going to relearn all those piano pieces I was forced to stress over and memorize to a T for recitals and competitions and anytime people came over and my parents wanted to show off for ME and no one else. Being told that piano was my “gift” and “purpose” and I was never supposed to take a break from it or do activities outside of it or else I would be squandering my “gift from god”, and being treated like a fucking show pony absolutely RUINED piano for me. After I had my near complete breakdown and quit with the piano teacher I was with I couldn’t even touch the keyboard without the fear of being watched or recorded or used as a bragging rite. I was only good for one thing and nothing else. Anytime I watch my recital videos back I can HEAR the sheer amount of anxiety that riddled my playing. Someday I want to relearn those pieces without all the stress, without the crushing feeling that this is my only worth.

[shadowqueenjude]

Azris one shot

Lmfaooooo this was inspired by the roleplaying I did with @futureautumnhighlord @the-moon-on-a-string @shadowbabiesdaddy @that-spring-court-blond We basically kept reblogging each other's shit and it turned into smut so part 2 is going to be completely smut. 😭

Azriel’s arms wrapped around Eris from behind him as he snarled at Tamlin. “Stay away from Eris, Tamlin, or else…” Tamlin bared his teeth. His hair had shapeshifted to a night-black, quite like Rhysand’s and Azriel’s. He was a far-cry from the male he had been before Feyre had left him. “What are you going to do, shadowsinger? I’m a High Lord, and the male you’re holding is a High Lord’s heir. What’s an Illyrian ilk compared to that power?” Azriel chuckled darkly. “Oh, I can do a lot of things.” His shadows delivered them to a place far far away from the Spring Court forests. Accustomed to this travel, Eris kept his eyes wide open as Azriel winnowed them to the Autumn Court. Well, not winnowed, exactly. The shadowsinger method of travel was slightly different from winnowing; nobody knew exactly how it worked, but it was mentioned in old myths that those born of the death god could quite literally melt into shadows and reappear anywhere in the world as long as a shadow existed. The shadowsinger abilities appeared to be something like that.

Indeed, the shadowsinger willed them to appear underneath a tall oak near the Autumn Court forest in his backyard. Eris smirked ever so slightly as he turned back to look at Azriel. “Why’d you take me away, little bat?” The word little was hilarious here. Both males were of almost equal height, though Azriel was a wee bit broader than Eris due to his Illyrian heritage. Much as he denied that heritage (to the delight of Eris), it was still present in his complexion and build. His hands were a broad tan compared to the long pale hands of Eris, far better fit for playing piano than for fighting on a battlefield. Yet Eris was the general of the Autumn Court armies and had plenty of battle experience of his own; it just didn’t define him like it defined Illyrians. “What the hell were you doing in Tamlin’s territory?” Azriel said quietly; his voice barely hid the simmering rage beneath.

Eris laughed. It was hilarious how the male acted as if they were in a committed relationship. By no means were they in any such relationship; Eris was newly engaged to Cresseida of the Summer Court, and they were to be married within the next two weeks. True, their marriage was that of convenience, which left both of them to free to fuck whoever they want (including each other periodically). But that just proved Eris’s point: he was loyal to nothing and no one but himself and the crown he wanted so damn badly. Eris had made no promises to Azriel. Yet the jealousy simmering off of the Illyrian brute was such a strong stench it overwhelmed all of Eris’s senses.

“I was going to help him fulfill the Calanmai rite,” he said smoothly. “Tamlin was going to shapeshift into a female and our culmination would’ve under ideal conditions, magicked the Spring Court back to normal.” Though it was unlikely that would even work at this point, it would be worth it to try. At least to keep Beron away from Spring should his plan work. Of course, Eris didn’t need a reason to have sex with whoever he pleased. Azriel clenched his fists before pulling out his blade, Truth-Teller. “What, I’m not good enough for you?” Eris truly laughed then, leaning forward so that their noses almost brushed against each other. “You are nothing but my lover, little bat. I did not commit to anything with you, like it or not.” Azriel’s eyes simmered with dark rage that made Eris’s instincts stand up. “Is that how you’re going to play it?”

Eris smirked. “You’ve finally caught on. This is just a game, you and I. You couldn’t possibly believe I’d ever want to be with the male who killed and tortured my soldiers. Or lusted after my brother’s mate,” he added with more bite to his voice. Real anger flooded through him now. “Why would I want to be with the male who pined for my mate for nearly 500 years?” “Your mate?” Azriel gaped like a fish for a moment before the rage returned to his face. “And why would I ever want to be with the male who left the female I pined for for 500 years in her terrible state at your own border?” “I thought you were smarter than the bastard, shadowsinger,” Eris sneered. “Surely you know now that what I did was a mercy, not a spiteful act.” “It’s hard to know when everything is a game to you.” “When I play the game, it’s fun, Azriel. Females being brutally tortured is not my idea of fun. Or have you forgotten about my mother?” Azriel snarled in Eris’s ear. “So, fucking the High Lord of Spring is your idea of fun?” Eris shrugged. “Maybe it is. I’m a generous male, Illyrian. I’ve got to share the beauty of Autumn Court passion, you know.” In an instant, Azriel had shoved Eris against a tree. With his wings flaring out behind him and the feral look in his eyes, he truly looked the part of the dark angel. “Do you ever wear anything fashionable?” Eris asked because he knew it would infuriate him. Indeed, Azriel wrapped his hand around Eris’s neck and squeezed tight.

“I don’t need the clothing of a spoiled brat to kill you,” Azriel sneered in his face. Eris only let a lazy smile form on his face as he drawled, “Kinky, shadowsinger. But I know you won’t kill me. I’m too irresistible. Besides,” Eris willed his flame to surround him like an aura of a glowing god. Azriel flinched ever so slightly as he pulled back. “You get too close to the fire, and you get burned, Azriel.” Eris rarely said his name, and he could see Azriel’s name on his lips had an instant effect on him. He shuddered and walked back towards Eris, as if drawn in by a magnet. “I still haven’t forgiven you for what you tried to do,” Azriel growled, following Eris into the house. “No sex for a week.” Eris only leaned against the entrance to his secret house. “Then why are you following me in, little bat?”

[mrchiipchrome]

I hate people who say ‘swearing doesn’t make you cooler it just makes you sound immature’ like bitch I don’t do it for you or to sound cool I do it bc I need to express myself in the way I fucking feel like. Do you expect me to say ‘holy moly I had a really bad lesson’??? Like ffs if I wanna tell my teacher that the lesson went like fucking shit then I should be able to without fucking criticism, I literally don’t even do it for anyone except myself so you can shut your fat ass up and keep failing everything you fucking piece of shit pick me ‘I’m so much better than everyone else because I don’t swear’ ass bitch. Like we’re not even friends so how can you fucking dare try to tell me what to do, unprovoked and unprompted, I don’t tell you to stop being so fucking stupid and yet you are, fucking no ass, no friends, no nothing ass person trying to make me be like her loser ass self like shut the fuck up and disappear not like you’d be missed by anyone you fucking worthless piece of human garbage. Instead of trying to tell me to check my language, try checking the door before you walk in the room you Oompa Loompa, 10000 kg, no sense of style, looking like you got dressed in the dark, paler than a fucking vampire, failure, no one likes you, no bitches, no future ass bitch. She honestly needs to check her superiority complex because she’s truly more pathetic than me trying to find a gf, I swear even if she was the last woman in the world not a single person would hit, looking like an iguana mixed with a trash can and lighter fluid, she looks like the melted version of wheelchair Barbie only if wheelchair Barbie was plus size Barbie, no eyebrows ass bitch, no eyelashes ass bitch, caca eyes ass bitch, shit stained face ass bitch, skid mark ass bitch, looking like her name is skidmore muncy, cankles having ass bitch. When I say that your standards would have to be in Dante’s 8th circle of hell to even look her way I am not fucking lying, her wannabe goody two shoes ass persona is so fucking annoying I swear it makes me want to rip my ears and eyes out the second I hear and see her, and don’t even get me started on her fucking voice that sounds like a giraffes shit hitting your head whilst someone plays an out of tune piano and drags their nails over a chalkboard. Her entire being is like a a cancerous cell, I swear that she’s a failed fucking abortion because there is genuinely no way anyone would willingly give birth to that creature, someone had to have a gun to her mothers head all throughout labour to keep her pushing bc that child would never be born otherwise. I swear I couldn’t be paid to be that annoying ass bitches friend, it would make me even more suicidal than just hearing her from afar would. And she pretends that she’s so good just because she listens to girl in red like fucking congratulations you’re like 90 fucking percent of lesbians, no one cares about your fucking ass music taste because you’re not important, the world doesn’t stop spinning just because you’re listening to some stereotypical artist. I swear she’s like the hitler of the school, you always have to be so fucking politically correct when you’re even near her bc otherwise she’ll start her fucking crying again like shut the fuck up and get a personality. Literally the plain boiled chicken breast of the school, she doesn’t even realize that no one likes her, and that people are only remotely nice to her because they feel bad that she has the personality of a piece of coal, she’s more boring than the word boring. She’s a pimple on the day you take the school pictures, she’s an air bubble in your veins, she’s that fucking annoying ass hoe you never want to see but always do, she’s the paper McDonald’s toys, she’s a hole in the bottom of your shoe on a rainy day, she’s the ball that hits you in the face in PE, she’s everything i strive not to be both looks wise and personality wise because if I end up like her I would legit kill myself.

[holly-fixation]

Sharing my first FFVII experiences for fun: (spoilers for a 25 year old game below)

-I have no idea when or how I learned who Sephiroth was. I just knew "oh yeah that's Cloud Strife and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII". "Cloud has a big sword called the buster sword. Sephiroth has a big katana". Literally Cloud got into Smash and I'm like "Oh cool it's Cloud" But I knew NOTHING

-let me be clear, I haven't played a kingdom hearts game either. WHY I knew them both, I do not know.

-my brother introduced me to to One Winged Angel about a year after Cloud got onto smash. And I fell in love immediately. With the song. Yes, the song. He said "hey you should learn how to play this on piano". It took me 2 years to learn but that's besides the point. He showed me the Advent Children fight and I thought it was cool and all but it was really the SONG that got me.

-soon after he showed me Aerith's death. Why? There's this mash up of Spongebob's "stepping on the beach" and OWA and it WORKED?? But in the video they photoshop spongebob's face on Sephiroth when he kills Aerith. Then he kinda had no choice but to show me the actual scene (again, I had no context)

-So my brother bought me VII after he played it under the condition that I do not look anything up. No online walk through or anything, He was my only guide. He didn't want me spoiling myself with anything else that happened in the game, which was fair. Because he purchased VII for me, I listened. He was my only source of help.

-This lead to a few problems. Recruiting Yuffie without a guide is just AWFUL. I got lost and confused so many times. I never learned how to breed chocobos. I never got Knights of the Round. I didn't understand that stronger summons were just summons you got later, not a higher level materia. I didn't know about the single save point you can set in the Northern cave.

-Most inportantly: I never met Vincent.

-I had no idea how good of a healer Aerith was, so losing her abilities hurt. Yes her death still made me sad even though I knew it was coming. Ill argue it hurt the same amount because I watched every piece fall into place up to her death knowing what was at the end of the tunnel. But after it, I was so mad I had no good healers, I made Cloud my healer so I'd never lose them again.

-Two words: Black Materia. God I was not ready.

-Because I played it on a modern console, it had cheats like max health + limit breaks at all times, turning off random encounters, and triple speed. I did use triple speed a lot for farming sessions. And Though I made it through most of the game without the (basically) god mode, I did use them for the two robots in the elevator of Shinra Tower.

-I also used them through the entire Northern Crater because I didn't think the game was over yet. The third disk just started, I went straight down into the crater, and I didn't see a single save point. This couldn't be the end of the game, right?

-I literally did not acknowledge this was truly the end of the game until One Winged Angel began. I turned off cheats immediately and genuinely tried with what might possibly be the worst materia set up possible.

-I used Ramuh against Sephiroth. RAMUH. The man was doing so little damage it was pissing me off because "This materia is maxed out! Why isnt it doing more damage??"

-So after probably 10 Supernovas and at least 45 minutes, I turned cheats back on. I did not care anymore. NONE of my characters/materia were strong enough for this and I'd been playing for probably 4-5 hours straight at this point.

-anyway I had already seen and not understood any thing that happened in Advent children, so once I finished the game, I watched the movie again a few days later.

-Skip a few years and now we're here.

-oh I also never got that scene with Zack in the bottom of Shinra Manor.

-use a spoiler free strategy guide, kids.

[neko-naruto]

Beat

Summary: Kenny play drums, Kyle's in drama, has a love story ever been laid out so easily before?

Warnings: Swearing

Authors Note: entering my dialogue era while I recover from the whiplash of finishing a 10K project. so yeah, enjoy some bullshit band kid kenny and drama kid kyle, no promises on quality because tired. the K2 is already like, established, in this one. hope ya'll enjoy

Kenny McCormick, older brother of one, and in his second year of high school. He's been thinking of dropping out, but there isn't exactly anywhere else that he can get his hands on a drum kit. They are much, much pricier than he initially expected them to be.

And he has friends here too, he doesn't really wanna just, ditch 'em. He'd be ditching them to pursue dreams of a garage band and working at a gas station anyways. Both of which are decent options, but not exactly ideal.

Still, he bides his time. Shattering drum sticks and near puncturing the instruments. Playing until his joints ache and until he gets blisters and callouses from it. It's a grand old time if nothing else, just for fun. For the euphoria of such a destructive instrument, the only one built for taking out his anger on.

"Kenny!"

He keeps playing, arms crossed over briefly and foot pressing on the kick pedal in perfect time. He looks up from his kit to find Kyle at the door to the band room, the few stairs down give him even more height on him. An arm rests on the railing as he walks down, he takes a seat on the floor a considerable distance from Kenny.

"Shouldn't you be practicing your role?!"

Kyle holds a hand to his ear. Kenny stops playing, pressing a hand to the cymbals to quiet them. He gently places your sticks on top of the snare drum and it rattles.

"Shouldn't you be up at the drama room, Ky?" Kenny asked, leaning over the upper drums of his kit.

Kyle scoffed, "Unlike the rest of those plebeians I've mastered all of my lines, expressions, and body language."

"Nice, you're way too fucking good at that shit. You should have an Emmy award on your wall," Kenny said, he gave a brief spin on his stool. He tapped along the cymbals as he rotated.

"I mean, I'm okay at it," Kyle said as he stood up and walked over to the spread of instruments. There was stray cases everywhere, someone left their flute on the piano. The redhead sat on the bench and pressed down on a key, "But we need some music."

"Music?" There was a bit too much excitement on his voice.

Kyle nodded, "Mostly a drum roll, but it would kill to have actual percussion offstage."

He's pretty sure he's grinning. He's definitely grinning.

"So," Kyle begins with, a devious smirk on his face, "Want in?"

"Fuck yeah! I'll totally do a drum roll for your play! Dude, it'd be a fucking honor," Kenny answered with an ecstatic nod, tapping the tip of his toe to the kick drum. It's bad for the instrument, he doesn't care.

"We already got a snare somewhere in the drama room, just bring your sticks," Kyle said as he stood up and took a couple steps closer to Kenny's kit, "Clubs after school, three fifteen to five."

He leaned over the crash cymbal, "I know, I pick you up on club days, remember idiot?" Kyle leans over and presses a kiss to Kenny's cheek.

"I remember, just making sure you knew it was today man. We don't usually do club on Wednesday nitwit," Kyle answered with smugly, he brought a hand to flick at the blondes forehead.

Kenny gives a hum, "I'll be there, and I'll make sure to wash all of the frog guts off."

"Aw man, you look hot covered in blood," Kyle teased.

"How much blood can there be in a dead frog?" Kenny asked as he gingerly pressed on the hi-hat pedal. It clattered depressingly.

"Good point," Kyle said, "Love you bro."

"We're literally dating," Kenny said.

"You call me dude, I call you bro," Kyle said, he brought a hand to his chest and blew the intensity of his words out of proportion. He was smirking, "Only fair."

"And you wonder why people think we're just friends," Kenny said.

"I'm literally in drama, Ken, I'm pretty sure they've figured out I'm a rampant homo. Although, I can see why they wouldn't be able to tell you are," Kyle said, he vaguely gestured to Kenny as he spoke.

Kenny glanced down to his outfit, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"C'mon man, you know exactly what I mean. You need some flair, dye your hair, go goth- you've been wearing all orange since we were little kids," Kyle said, "I think I have some red leftover from last years play."

"Where you had to bleach your hair?" Kenny asked.

"Where I had to bleach my hair," Kyle echoed back, "You'd look good with a bit of dyed hair."

"I dunno dude, I think the subtle homosexual look is good on me. If another queer looked at me they'd know I'd be down to clown, and that's what it's all about," Kenny explained as he stood up and brushed down his jacket. He looked down at his outfit, "But you are the drama kid, you may be onto something."

"Exactly- really Ken, some eyeliner would fix you," Kyle said, "Helps draw attention to the face, it's why we always wear so much of it on stage. I think you'd look good with some iridescent black." He brought his hands to rest on Kenny's face, tracing over the shapes and contours of flesh.

"Dude! At least wait until we're out of school, or, in the drama room," Kenny said, batting away Kyle's hands and beating down the flush rising to his face.

"Good point, I got English, see ya in an hour or so," Kyle said before turning to take his leave.

Kenny loitered for a bit longer, science class was on the same floor, "See ya in an hour!"

[eerna]

ngl i find it hilarious that they just speedran crooked kingdom while matthias was just sitting in jail like 🧍‍♀️

IT'S SOOO FUNNY it was literally "Crooked Kingdom but they never got Matthias out of jail". He was just sitting there praying, drawing in the sand, developing friendship, and having sexy thoughts. Bless

I totally remember when everyone was still debating whether the bathroom scene will be present in future seasons after the sea whip plot when season 1 was released in 2021.. but now we got a Walmart version of it 🙃 No hate to Freddy and Amita.. Like I believe they could totally pull the canonical CK scene off if the showrunners cared about a steady paced plot.. So far, the only thing I frankly like about this season is the set designs

Bro I thought I could give up hope and get over it, but when I saw them in their final scene together,,,, how GOOD they were if the writing is plucked straight from the books and allowed some subtlety.... I was sitting there imagining they were on the Ferolind and it was 2 different scenes and dyin from happiness. Freddy Amita you deserved better

what made me super duper extra mad was the pekka confrontation scene included the other crows. like only inej is supposed to be there you really think kaz would say SHIT about his brother in front of everyone????? he literally called jesper jordie in the books and refused to elaborate on it when jesper kept asking. and even inej doesn’t get the full story out of him.

YEAH LOL this season took some truly important scenes for Inej and Kaz and just. Wrote Jesper into her place instead. And also Nina. And Inej is now the one with the LEAST context for his trauma (except for Wylan, who still knows Nothing). This is not who Kaz is this is not what he would have done this is NOT HIM

The way I don’t even care abt getting kaz’s backstory anymore in this season and can’t be convinced to watch it bc the show already butchered literally everything else with his character. Speaking of I don’t think I’ve seen anyone even go into detail or talk abt it much which probably says a lot abt everything else the show is doing lol.

NJKnkjnkj you see, the writers just decided to tell us his entire backstory in shittily-placed flashback during the first half of the season, so waiting for his backstory isn't a thing. There is no buildup. No hints. You find out most of it in ep1. Remember how bad and scary it was in the books? Well here it is really lazily shot and cliched and just seems like not a big deal at all, which is probably why no one is mentioning it

@jfkisonthemoon asked:

okay wesper IS being sped through as terribly as kanej. but i do have to say that theyre at least fun to watch and the dynamic from the (end of the) books really is there. it probably helps that the casting is perfect and that im looking for any crumbs of non-ruined book content, but still.

Crumbs help us cope, no worries, that's great for you! But I honestly really disliked their new dynamic, is was very flavorless. What, Jesper just decides to be monogamous out of the blue because Wylan told him he doesn't seem like someone who would do it and also played a few bars on the piano???? It's killing me because Jack is such a good Wylan, they nailed the balance between assertiveness and cuteness he needs, but for WHAT

[chloearit]

// discussion of csa and other potentially distressing things

One day I'd found myself alone with nothing to do. I noticed my father's old piano, off in the corner of the living room. It hadn't been used in well over a year, not since I played for him when I turned 14 shortly before his death.

I pulled it out of the corner and sat down in front of it. Started pressing some keys. Memories flashed through my mind. I started playing. After a couple failed starts I managed to play one of the pieces I'd learned almost without error. Then another. Then I just started playing freely.

I almost didn't notice when Nikita walked in the room.

I trailed off and turned to them.

They looked surprised. "You play? ... It sounds good."

"Just messing around... my father made me learn it."

They smiled and walked up to me. "You just keep revealing new skills I never knew you had."

"I didn't get to do much as a kid other than study."

Nika pressed a key. Then a couple more.

I joined in. "Father would make me play for him." I scoffed. "Not to make things weird..."

"Don't ever worry about making things weird," they muttered, tapping away at the keys.

"He made me undress, and then play. I think he got off to it."

"People get off to all kinds of weird things."

That made me pause. I stayed their hands. "How do you know that?"

"Long story." They returned to pressing keys.

"You should get a chair." I looked around the room.

They nodded, and quickly left to get one from another room.

For a moment, there was silence again. I felt Father's hands on my body.

The sound of a chair being pulled up next to me got me out of it. I made room and looked Nikita up and down as they sat.

"Do you know how to play?"

"No," they answered with a smile.

"I'll teach you."

I showed them some chords to play. They learned quickly. After a couple of repetitions, they started speaking while continuing to practice: "I had to find ways to make money after I got away from my parents. You meet a lot of weird people like that, and you hear stories. Obviously I got a lot of the creepier weirdos, but there's a lot of people who are just freaks."

"Like who?"

"One guy I heard of apparently makes his 'partners' play out elaborate death scenes with him. He comes every time without ever once touching himself. And then he just leaves. He's not a pedo though, just a freak, so I've never met him."

"He... acts out killing his partners?"

"No, no, he has them act out killing him."

"Huh."

"I kinda get it though, to be honest."

"What?"

"Have you never thought about what it would be like to get killed?"

I didn't respond. Of course I had, but... "Not like that."

They laughed. "You're so straightlaced."

"I don't think that's a word anyone's ever used to describe me."

"You're not a freak."

"You don't know that."

"What's your secret, then?"

"Huh?" I looked around the room, and paused. "Is anyone else here?"

"For real?" They smiled. "Just you and me."

I took a deep breath. "I get these intrusive... experiences sometimes. I don't know what to call them."

"Flashbacks?"

"No. They're not things that ever actually happened to me. Not like that." I shook my head.

"Fantasies?"

"Weird ones. Scenes of being... raped. Being a little kid and having horrible things done to me. And. I don't know... sometimes they don't feel all that bad? They feel almost nice. I don't... like it but I do... I do get off on it... is that... wrong?"

"Well, if it is, we're both marked for damnation."

"Huh?"

"Lu. You literally kill people for a living. I think that's more morally questionable than whatever you're worried about."

"But, I- I do it because-"

"Because of what they do, right? What they did to you, to me, to other children."

"Yes."

"Not because of whatever odd fantasies they might have. Because of what they chose to do."

"But what if I become like them-"

"You're stronger than that. That's what makes you different from them. You don't just give into your base urges. You care too much to ever hurt someone who's innocent."

"You don't know that."

"Using someone like that is an extremely callous, selfish thing to do. Every normal human recoils at the thought. That's why you're so ashamed of it. That's good. But you're not a bad person if you allow yourself to stop worrying so much about it. There's a big difference between an impure thought and an evil action. I think most people are very aware of where that line is, and they will never cross it, no matter how much they like to indulge in the fantasy. I've known you for a while now, believe me when I tell you, I don't think you would ever cross that line. But if you need my help to feel more secure, I'll help you with that."

"I think I'd appreciate that."

"It's your actions that define if you're a good person or not, and the impact you have on the world. You've helped a lot of people lead better lives. You're a good person, Lúcia."

// by Lúcia and Chloe

[lunaticobscurity]

what're some of your personal fav games? and what do you like most about them?

psychic force - it's just really cool! me and my friends started playing it back in times of yore because it did a much better job of being a videogame about taking part in anime fight scenes than any of the actual anime games to which we had access back then. especially the near-unplayable dragonball gt: final bout.

last blade 2 - aesthetically, thematically, and mechanically beautiful. i feel like, even after 20+ years, i still find new little details every time i play it. and things i've posted about before, like the way hibiki breaks down into tears for her "winpose" if she lands a killing blow on her opponent are just so good.

altered beast - i'm specifically talking about the mega drive version. it's less than ten minutes long and it's not particularly good, but it's a game that i've completed literally hundreds of times. it's also the kind of game that makes me want to make games myself, there's just something about it i find really inspiring.

shiren the wanderer - an excellent game that feels like it could be infinitely big (and its sequels are even bigger!), plus i think it gets across a positive message about friendship and community in a way that only a videogame could.

shenmue trilogy - without question, the best story ever told in videogames. it starts out seeming like it's a simple revenge story, but even early on you start to see that it's actually a story about the futility of revenge, the eauty of life, and the importance of the bonds between people.

king of fighters 2000 - i love the king of fighters series and its cast of characters. i picked this one to represent it because of one thing: if you play through arcade mode as the k' team, the little transition from the ending to the credits, where the first few piano notes of the end credits theme play, is really fucking cool.

grandia - maybe the pinnacle of videogame rpgs? graphics, world design, mechanics, sound, story, and characters all combine into a game that just does an incredible jobs of capturing the spirit of adventure

mushihimesama futari - one time i was playing the xbox 360 port of this game, and i went into a trance. without knowing it, 20 minutes passed and i played through most of the game on a single life. that feeling was amazing and like nothing else that's ever happened to me while playing a videogame.

okay, i think 8 is enough, or else i could keep doing this all day.

[strawberry-twinkies]

hello everyone, my name is hazel, welcome to my TedTalk- this is actually going to be a super long post, sorry!! but this is, in my honest opinion, why fall fair suite is actually a really, really good opening song (and is better in every way than uranium suite).

First, to get my bias out of the way, yes, one of the reasons is Jane Doe. Firstly, Jane is probably one of my favorite characters, and i love her- but also!! I might be incredibly stupid, but if im hearing correctly, the scale Jane sings in Fall Fair is the same as the scale she sings after her high notes in TBOJD (the ones after "Oh, my soul" and "Who I am") which is just,,, really cool!! And I love how it ties back into Jane's whole song :) I also personally think her two high notes at the end are meant to represent screaming, just like most people assume for TBOJD!! Im also just glad she's included because SHE DIED IN THE ACCIDENT TOO!! SHES JUST AS IMPORTANT AS EVERYONE ELSE!!

Aside from my,,, obvious bias, lets talk about the song itself!! It starts off very happy! The choir is talking about the fall fair!! Its so fun!! Yippeeeee!! But then Karnak starts talking, and it's like..kind of a punch in the gut even if you know the musical? Like… you hear him call it a eulogy and it's kind of a "haha what,,," and it slowly kind of hits you as it goes on and when he says "the now deceased st. cassian choir" its just. sobbing shaking. i am physically ill. AND TH. THE "i wish to give them a chance to express not what they were perceived to be, but what they dreamt they were." SCREAMING. THAT IS SO SAD.

AND THEN THE MOOD COMPLETELY DROPS (like the rollar coaster haha)??? And it starts with the slow piano music anD THEIR LITTLE SOLOS ACTUALLY KILL ME. I love how everyone gets a part (except jane :( ) and theyre so good and so jjust,,,, they tell their reactions so well in my opinion?? The "I wonder how can this be fair?" part. i am deceased. LIKE ITS LITERALLY A PUN? OR AT LEAST A PLAY ON WORDS?? But also the whole vibe of it is so,,,, hrrgh. And then Jane shows up but shes not there so its this spooky soprano lady singing a spooky scale-

"What a load of friggin' junk! That crusty carnie, clearly drunk! Sue that fair for everything they've got!" "But what's the point of even suing? Dead, we're done, there's no undoing. Nothing left to do except to rot!" JUNDJNFJnjFG THIS PART KILLS ME. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. OCEAN IS SO ANGRY AND LIKE,,, GGRRRR. Ocean is so upset that she died. She didn't want to even get on the ride (more on that later) and now she's dead becausse of it. She died on a roller coaster, of all things, and now she'll never mean anything to anyone and she'll never matter for anything besides her DEATH,,,, she's just going to be remmebered as some hippie's daughter that was in choir and died in a roller coaster accident like DJNjnFJNFFGFNJG im crying.

And then there's the slightly silly part and I KNOW the line "Now i know what YOLO really means" is supposed to be silly but it breaks my HEART. Like, Mischa. Bby. I WISH YOU STAYED ALIVE AND MARRIED THALIA,,, SHE IS REAL IN MY HEART AND THEY LOVED EACH OTHER,,,, but like,, that line hurts so much idk why

ALSO!! The "Life is just a dream" line echoes the progression in "It's just a ride" which is cool!! :D I really like that personally, I think it's a nice little reference tthere :>

Then the next part is in Uranium suite so. :)

BUT THE ROUND AND ROUND PART I PERSONALLY LOVE. AND THEN OCEAN SJNJDJNFJNNJD- THE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT FEEL SAFE ON THE RIDE AND DIDNT WANT TO GO??? IT HURTS ME SO BADLY. LIKE, OCEAN BBY NOOO- I WISH YOUD HAVE LISTENED TO YOUR INTUITION-

And then the way you think it ends, but it doesn't is so cool in my opinion?? And also the "we're never going back" is just. i love it. Then the progression of "but what really happens" is so good?? And Jane coming back in is honestly just,,, i love it. It reallly finishes the sound in my opinion :) i love jane so much and her soprano is so silly!!

Two more things I forgot to include!! First of all, Fall Fair being right before Jane Doe's Entrance is cool because along with Karnak's Dream of Life, it introduces her before she's officially introduced!! Like, "Oh, by the way, here's the mysterious soprano you guys heard earlier!" and I love it :)

ALSO!! Fall Fair Suite is the first song the whole choir sings together, and It's Just a Ride is the last song they all sing together and like,, the fact that they follow a similar motif at one point is like.. a nice little nod and i love it!! This musical you guys,,, they actually thought of EVERYTHING and its so good <3 <3 <3

Thank you all for reading this!! <3 + dont kill me if you like Uranium Suite no hate to it i just think Fall Fair Suite is really really good :)

[hartshorn-and-isinglass]

Nothing makes me feel old like realizing that I like Oistrakh quite a bit more now. When I was young, my favorite old master was Grumiaux and I felt like Oistrakh was specifically the kind of dude you appreciated more when you got older. (Very normal teenager opinions to have there, Marve.) And welp, here I am. I dunno, I think it's a particular flavor of warmth that didn't resonate with me when I was young and hungry and perpetually teetering on the verge of burnout.

Story time because fuck it, it's my blog I do what I want (but still under the cut to be nice about it):

If you're familiar with the Bay Area, the reason why I have such insane memories of high school orchestra class is because I went to Lowell. Yeah, that Lowell. Put a bunch of overachiever kids in a pressure cooker magnet school and you get some highly competitive orchestra classes. The first violin section, unsurprisingly, was made up of the cream of the overachieving crop, most of whom were planning on being either pre-med or engineering in college even though they could have easily all been music majors. And then there was my dumb ass once I made it to the first violin section, LOL. I honestly wasn't sure I was even going to make it alive to the end of high school to have a career. Violin was my lifeline and I threw everything I had into it, for better and worse.

The hilarious irony about all of this is my parents were actually not as proud of my violin achievements as they pretended to be. I don't know if I've conveyed to you what a bunch of insane freaks they were, but according to their plan I was supposed to become a piano prodigy. So when I decided in middle school that I hated piano and wanted to play violin instead, it was not received well. To their credit, once they saw I was serious about it they did get me my own instrument and some private lessons, but my mom did try to convince me to quit at several points, and my dad still has an entire-ass complex about it.

Hell, I was ambivalent about going to Lowell at all. I applied because my district assigned public high school was just that bad. That other school eventually was shut down for "underperforming", that's how bad it was. Knowing that Lowell had a good music program was my consolation for all the other shit I was about to put myself through. The secret of Lowell is that it's not the teachers or the facilities; both of those things were absolute shit when I was there (the music teachers were all cool tho). It's the kids. They know the reputation of the school they're going to. They know they'll be expected to apply to prestigious universities when they're seniors. It's the kids who are, sometimes literally, killing themselves to play this ridiculous rat-race game that they've been set to by their parents.

This is all to say that at a time in my life when I had very little control over anything and was profoundly depressed about it, I realized that I did have control over how much and how often I practiced, so I just kinda... maxxed that out. Time in the practice room was time spent on the one thing in my life that didn't suck nearly as much as everything else. It was time spent somewhere safe. It was time spent cultivating hope for the future. I used to describe it as an "emotional crutch" in a very ableist way when I was younger but now I look back on it in the sense of a more literal mobility aid, as the thing that kept me moving when I would have otherwise collapsed.

You know, I still don't feel "qualified" to say that violin has been a major part of my identity... despite it being my first act of rebellion, despite me pulling a literal Ling-Ling up the violin ranks in high school because I felt like I had nothing else to live for, despite somehow finding my way back to it after decades of being convinced I was done... don't laugh, but I still feel like I really should be better at violin than I am for all the meaning it has held for me. I gotta find that solution for my right hand issues, man! I have to make up for lost time! I have to git moar gud so the Muse will notice me. Haha whoops my hand slipped there-

[sansheritageposts]

shut up. just shut up. ok. this is so stupid. i hate this. this isn't fair. this isn't fair. this isn't fair. this isn't fair. this isn't fair. this isn't fair. i hate it here. i am so angry. i have never been so livid in my life. this proves nothing. because with the inclusion of dr. evil this poll is wrong. ok. ok. because dr evil is the greatest bald guy ever to be born. he's one of the greatest people ever to live. ok. ok. what. no. no. dr eggman? dr ivo robotnik? eggman? no. don't make me laugh. joke. as if eggman could have ANYTHING on dr evil (dougie). what the hell. he is the head of an evil organization bent on taking over the world. he is the princess of canada. he beat up a white supremacist on live national television (the world is his. the world is his.). his father invented the question mark (claimed). he is from belgium. he is from bruges, belgium. in the spring he made meat helmets. he is adopted. he and his cat were cryogenically frozen in 1967. he was unfrozen in 1997. he was put into space in 1997. he literally owns starbucks. he was top of his class in the academy. his mother was a 15 year old french prostitute named chloe with webbed feet. he has a secret volcano lair in the middle of a volcano surrounded by liquid hot magma (just like he asked). he escaped jail with his beloved mini me by singing it's a hard knock life from the hit musical annie. he thinks on the whole preparation h feels good. he doesn't gnaw on his kitty he just strokes him and loves him. he once was turned into a frickin jack in the box. he has three testicles. he was always the smart one. as soon as he was released from space he went on jerry springer to reunite with his son. he's cool. he's hip. he's with it. when holding nigel powers captive he refuses to turn his yoohoo gold (how bout no you crazy dutch bastard). they drink it like that in belgium. it's called a belgian dip. he knows kim jong-un (they went on a viking river cruise together). he plays the piano. what if god was one of us. danny devito played his clone in the film that was made of his life. he and austin aren't so different. all he ever asked for was frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their frickin heads what about that is so hard. he has a secret moving underwater lair. he worked in trump's cabinet but was fired. he ran for president in 2020 (make the world evil again) ((ran with zuckerberg). he hired a scottish wrestler who eats human babies. he wrote and published a book. he made jimmy fallon laugh on television. his cat mr. bigglesworth used to have hair but it all fell off when they were cryogenically frozen in space (mustafa could not accommodate for that in his calculations) (mustafa was killed for this) (he was burned but did not die just very badly burned. then he was shot. he was shot right in the arm). he's holding the world hostage for (more than) one million dollars. he feeds his cat meow mix. he lost his hair because he was evil. he speaks french. he beat up jerry springer live on television on his own show. he is greater than anyone else who has ever lived or ever will live.

BALD GUY FIGHT ROUND 3

[tinyfluffyshark]

Tagged by @jupiter-squid

Tagging: @piabird @swords0827 @pompompuryun whoever else wants to!

Nickname: I have a billion, the most unique has been Citrus, I'm Meow to my niphlings, Pinky, Sid, Lyn, Pid

Sign: Pisces Sun (burn the textbook and it makes sense), Virgo Moon, Rising Gemini

Height: 5"7ish 8ish?

Last thing I googled: ignoring me tryna figure out my horoscope for the billionth time, and song lyrics, Shencomix, wanted to reread all of bluechair

Song stuck in my head: "Not Okay" Robert Grace and "8Now" Foodhouse

Amount of Sleep: I am perpetually fatigued but can't sleep cause I'm a night time person soo, too much and too little ywy

Dream Job: Something creative and hands-on, musician or artist or writer or witch doctor, herbalist florist or forest ranger or I dunno I have a lot of interests I just wanna be an RPG video game character!

Wearing: Gray sweater I stole from my partner, he got it from a blood donation drive the other day (I'm anemic so I can't qwq) and its pretty, my most stereotypically me black baggy pants, partners socks, and a lavender checkered sweater with a black hood that's soft but still doesn't fit right qwq OH and like and entire cats worth of cat fur! :D

Movies/Books that Summarize You: There aren't really any, and I'm not a movie person so besides Promare (because colorful upbeat and great soundtrack) I got nothing.

Books? I loved Heartless by Marissa Meyer, The Truth-Teller's Tale by Sharon Shinn got me interested in propinquity, anything by Tamora Pierce is a good shot, Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer, the Dragonkeeper Chronicles by Donita K. Paul, I love the Queen's Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner but I'm terrified of reading the last book, Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine omg

Favorite Song: Like with books I could keep going forever about music. I'll put five.

- Run Away - TxT

- The Heights by Heartbreaker (I recommend anything by them, also gores by nikbreakshearts)

- Sea by BTS

- I'm doing push-ups by Bears in Trees

- Deja Vu by Circus-P but also his whole 7/15 album ok

- I lied one more, The Price of Freedom by Takeharu Ishimoto because Crisis Core CHANGED ME FOREVER as a person and his stuff just kills me ok bye

Instrument: I can do a little flute and piano, my hands are too tiny for guitar, but if I could learn violin I'd die happy

Aesthetic: a cute chaotic gremlin, I violently switch aesthetics because I like whatever I like, but I also just wanna be comfy and happy and cute. Wear whatever gives me the serotonin and don't care if others don't think it matches!

Favorite Author: Okay since I already spazzed about books can I take a moment to promote Hello Bunny by nyam_nyamo on AO3 because it completely change the soulmate AU trope for me and I'll never be the same, I was screaming at them on Twitter after every update.

Alternatively if you like pain, Miintaexty is literally Satan to me

I realize these are both kpop fanfic authors but believe me. Just do it.

Random Fun Fact: I'm usually full of them but it's hard on demand. Oh I'm a weirdly good shot and it's a problem because my partner got us Nerf guns and I never remember not to shoot their face and my aim is. Good. which is bad. I'm so sorry. This has been discovered a few times and I'd definitely love to get into something that uses this odd skill.

Favorite Color: Blue and then Green, but also I just love anything colourful

Last Song: Was randomly singing You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban to bother my partner last night

Last Movie: Uhhhhh .....*shrugs*

Currently Craving: a time pause button or IRL save points

Tea or Coffee: I don't like the taste of tea but I drink it socially cause we are a Chai family and I just like warm sweet. I prefer (SWEET AND NOT BITTER) coffee but the caffeine is nooooooot good for my anxiety

Currently Working On: My marriage honestly (as in I just got married not as in we’re struggling), but also just improving my mental health and motivation enough to finish this damn degree satisfactorily so I can MOVE ON. Also getting my kitty (Nina) to like me and getting the tiny kitty (Meowki) to STOP HARRASSING NINA STOP LET HER GO TO THE BATHROOM YOU RASCAL

And decorating my new apartment. I make this place a home. Sewed the curtains myself UwU

[pinknightsinmymind]

Hello! can i request a Ellie x fem reader who likes to play the piano? Like Ellie ask the reader to play something for her during their day off, a lot of fluff please :')

have a great day!

【 miss piano man - ellie williams 】

ellie williams x fem!reader

wc: 2.7k

warnings: mentions of weapons, one mention of blood, clickers, etc.

content: devoted gf ellie, lots of fluff, some kissing, so much fluff your teeth rot, somewhat protective ellie

a/n: besides the mention of the singular clicker, this is all fluff!! so dw! this was such a cute request! writing this made me realize how much i LOVE the ellie williams devoted gf agenda bc it's literally her she'd do anything for the person she loves

She never knew you could play piano until one fateful day out on patrol. You came across an abandoned music store, and as soon as you saw the dirty windows with the faded music notes, you begged her to let you go in. The door was locked, so you’d have to find another entrance inside.

“Please, please, please, can we go in?” you pleaded.

“Baby, we’ve never cleared this store before. We don’t even know what’s in there.”

“How bad can it be? Come on, I wanna see what’s inside. You’re a guitar player! You should wanna go in, too.”

“Yeah, I wanna go in,” she said, “but who knows how many Clickers or Bloaters are in there.”

“Hear me out. I have a plan.”

“Let me hear this,” she teased, placing her hands on her hips.

“You see that window pane above the doors? It’s broken. You’re gonna hoist me up—”

“Absolutely not. You’re not going in there on your own.”

“Oh, my God, just listen. That’s not what I was gonna say. Anyways, you’re gonna hoist me up and I’m gonna look through the window, throw a bottle in the store, and see if anything reacts.”

“And what are you gonna do when a Bloater comes tumbling through and breaks down the door?” She made a good point, but you weren't going to take no for an answer.

“There won’t be one because I’m praying and hoping there won’t be one.”

“I’m not allowing you to go through with that plan.” She had such a stern look on her face, and although you wanted to take her seriously, she was too cute.

“Why are you being such a downer today?” you joked. “Come on. I’ll have my pistol ready just in case.”

“And what if a bunch of Clickers or Runners come after us out here because they hear the gunshots?”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m just messing with you. We’ll go through with your plan, okay? We can do it.”

“Finally.” Ellie cupped her hands together and hoisted you up to the window pane. At first glance you saw no signs of Clickers, only a dirty store with sunlight coming in through the windows. Some things here and there were knocked over, but everything else seemed pretty much intact. You pulled the bottle you gathered from your bag and threw it into the store. The bottle shattered loudly, and you waited in still silence for any sign of undead life. A few seconds passed until you heard it. The running footsteps and clicking noises echoed as it came close to the front door. You drew your pistol quickly, almost like second nature, as you shot two bullets at the Clicker’s head and it fell. You released a breath and stayed silent in wait of anything else that may have been in the building. Seconds faded until a minute had passed and still nothing. You nodded your head to yourself and grabbed onto the ledge.

“All clear,” you said to Ellie as you hopped over it and into the store. You braced yourself as you landed before standing up and brushing your clothes. You unlocked the door for Ellie who walked in with a big smile.

“Hey, pretty lady,” she greeted you. You laughed.

“Hey,” you said back.

“You kill that Clicker all by yourself?” she asked, shutting the door behind her.

“Sure did,” you answer. You watched as Ellie walked around its dead body and its puddle of blood in order to come closer to you.

“You’re a good shot,” she complimented. “I like that in a woman.” You felt her hands grab onto your waist, her thumbs rubbing circles on your sides

“Really? And what do you think I like in a woman?”

“Someone like me, obviously.”

“You’re such a dork,” you say, which makes her laugh a little and let you go.

“Now, what did you want to come in this store for?”

“I miss music, that’s all.” You began wandering the store, maneuvering around the Clicker’s body, and looking at the store’s stock. They had different band posters on the walls, music notes painted everywhere, old vinyl records on shelves and hanging on display. You found strings for guitars, cellos, and violins, and you quickly grabbed all the guitar ones that were still in good shape for Ellie. “Here, take these,” you said and shoved them in her backpack to continue looking around. She followed you around silently, curious as to what you were looking for so earnestly. You also found old, broken guitars hanging on the walls, which really was a shame considering how beautiful the colors and designs were. It was when you got to the back of the store you finally found what you were looking for.

A piano.

It had been so long since you’d seen one or even touched one. You hurriedly pulled out the bench and pushed up the keylid. The piano was sleek and black, more modern, which was completely different from the one you played at the old church. It had been old and wooden with carvings of angels and saints on it. The keys were a little dusty, but at least none of them were broken. Your fingers hovered over the black and white keys lightly, testing them to see if any were out of tune or if they didn’t play anymore. Miraculously, they were all in good condition. You felt Ellie take a seat next to you as she glanced at your face, then the piano.

“You know how to play?” she asked.

“Yeah. I learned it when I was younger. I stayed at this camp for a while with my family, and there was a guy there who was friends with my father. He knew how to play piano, and there happened to be one at the old church nearby, so he taught me.”

“I didn’t know you could play,” she said softly.

“Well, I haven’t played in years, and it’s hard to come by pianos, anyway.”

Ellie hummed in agreement. “True.” She leaned her head on your shoulder, her presence being one of the most glorious things you’ve ever experienced in your life. She was so warm. “Play me something.” How could you ever deny her anything? You played her some of the old melodies you learned that you could remember, hands moving between the keys like a careful dance. Some days it felt like your hands itched as you were desperate to get them on a piano again, and here you were with Ellie at your side. You glanced at her for a second while you played to see her eyes closed as she listened. She seemed so relaxed and at peace. The sight warmed your heart as you continued to play more softer pieces. Well, what little of them you could remember.

“I didn’t realize how much I missed playing.” You felt Ellie kiss your shoulder as she listened to you. “I’d play every day if I could.”

“Can you read sheet music?” she asked.

“A little bit, but I was no master.”

“I can’t believe you hid this amazing talent from me. We could’ve been playing duets all this time.”

“With what piano?”

“Minor detail,” she remarked. She always knew how to make you laugh.

“We should probably get going soon, huh?” you asked.

Ellie shook her head. “No, keep playing for a little bit. I want to hear. Everything else can wait.” She’d listen to you play for all eternity if she could. She didn’t want you to stop playing, to stop doing this one thing that you loved and missed more than anything. In a perfect world she envisioned you as some famous piano prodigy, which she knew you’d argue with her if you brought it up. You’d say you weren’t that good, but to Ellie that didn’t matter. She admired you for what you were capable of, and didn’t care about whatever you considered yourself incapable of.

You played a little longer, just for her, so she could listen. You wished you could play some of the beautiful, classical pieces your teacher could instead of old folk songs, but that would have required years of practice. You barely got a year seeing that your teacher passed away tragically.

“I think you’re an amazing player,” Ellie finally said. She placed a kiss on your shoulder again.

“Thanks, babe,” you said in return.

“We go when you’re ready to go. I don’t wanna make you stop playing.”

“We can stay for a few more minutes.” And you held onto your word, because after a few more minutes of playing you pulled the piano’s keylid down. Your hands hovered over the soft, wooden surface, thinking how long it’d be until you come across another piano again. By then you’d probably have forgotten everything, and although it saddened you, it was a gift and a blessing to have even known how to play at one point in time. Maybe in another life you’d get a better chance to be a piano player.

+ + +

You had been lounging lazily in your small house at Jackson when you heard a knock at your door. Today was your day off from patrols, so you had been spending most of it just doing nothing. When you opened the door, you found a certain girl waiting for you.

“What are you up to?” Ellie asked.

“Nothing much. Just being lazy.” She nodded, then smiled. That’s how you knew she was up to something. “You only make that face when you’re planning something.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Tell me, then.”

“How about you come sleep over at my place tonight?” she offered. “You can come over right now if you want, and we’ll just watch movies and be lazy together. It is our day off, after all.”

“I’m sold,” you said. “Let me get some things together, and I’ll be right there.”

“Okay. I’ll go clean a bit while I wait for you.” Ellie placed a quick kiss on your lips before walking away. You shut the door and quickly gathered some of your things in a bag. You didn’t really bother bringing clothes to change into because you figured you’d just borrow some of Ellie’s. She wouldn’t mind, in fact, she’d even love it. As you walked to her place, you realized it’d been a while since you’d stayed at her place. Lately she had been coming over to your house, or both of you had been too busy for a sleepover, so this was a nice change. When you knocked on her door it only took her a few seconds to open it. She grabbed you and dragged you into her place, slamming the door shut as she pulled you into a hug.

“You act like you haven’t seen me in years.”

“It has been. I last saw you twenty minutes ago. That is years.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“You love it.” She placed a bunch of kisses on your face before placing one on your nose and pulling away. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What kind?” you asked. You watched as Ellie went over to her desk and picked up three different books that had been laying there and handed them to you. You looked through them, completely in awe at what she had gotten you. One was a book full of sheet music for popular songs, one was a guide on reading sheet music, and the other was sheet music for classical music pieces.

“Like them?” she asked.

“Yes! When did you get these?”

“I snuck them from the music store when you weren’t looking.”

“Ellie, I love them, but I don’t have a piano to play.”

That’s when Ellie grew a giant smirk on her face. “I thought you’d say that.” Ellie walked over to the closed garage door by her desk, and that’s when you noticed the shelf that had always been there was moved across the room close to the bathroom door. Whatever was there was covered by a white sheet, and when she pulled it off, you stared in complete shock. Where did Ellie ever manage to get a piano from?

“You—you got me a piano? How?” It wasn’t the one from the store because that one was painted a sleek black, while this one was a dark, wooden brown. It looked new and well-taken care of, unlike the one from the store.

“Well, you know Miss Margie? The old lady who makes the pies? Well, this used to be her son’s before he passed away. I asked all over town for a week if anyone had a piano they didn’t use, and she did. So I traded her a couple jars of pickled foods with her in return for it. She was happy someone would finally have use for it.”

“But Miss Margie lives pretty far away from you. How’d you bring it all the way here?”

“I asked Jesse for some help, and we dragged it all the way here this morning while you were sleeping.”

“And on my day off,” you realized.

She nodded. “Yep. All arranged by me.” She had planned all of this. Now you understood why she had been so adamant about you taking this day off with her.

“You’re an evil genius.” You stepped closer to the piano, completely unable to process that it was now yours. You placed the books on top of the piano and threw your arms around Ellie in a giant hug. You buried your face in her neck as she returned the hug immediately and rubbed your back comfortingly. “Thank you so, so much. I can’t believe it.”

“Anything for you.”

You pulled your face out of her neck and immediately pulled her into a kiss, which she had no problem reciprocating. God, you loved her so much. You felt her hands grabbing onto your face like she always did. Always the most passionate person you knew. She pulled you even closer to her, and you could tell she would hold onto you forever if she could. Eventually she pulled away from you, staring into your eyes for a moment, before kissing your forehead.

“Come on, let me hear you play something, piano man.” She patted your back as you stepped away from her and took a seat on the bench where she immediately joined you. After pushing the keylid up, you couldn’t believe how clean and well-kept the keys were. Miss Margie and her son really cared for this piano. You began testing out the keys before finding middle C and getting ready to play. You started steadily, playing soft and sweet melodies that drifted into the air. It provided its own kind of lovely atmosphere to Ellie’s already cozy place.

“Thank you so much for this. I literally can’t thank you enough.”

“You’re welcome. I couldn’t help myself when I saw how happy you were playing. I couldn’t bear to see you never play again, either.”

“You’re so thoughtful.” Your fingers moved through the keys a little more smoothly than they did last time. That was the point of practice, wasn’t it? “I could teach you some basics, if you’d like.”

“I’d love that.” Ellie rested her head on your shoulder again, letting out a content sigh. “I think this is what Heaven would be like. Just listening to you play and feeling you next to me.”

“Always the romantic,” you commented. Ellie smiled at that.

“How can I not be romantic when I get to listen to you play like this?” Ellie watched your hands move, and heard as you transitioned from one song to another. So beautiful, she thought. “Whenever you wanna practice, just come over here. Anytime. I’d love to listen to you play whenever.”

“I’ll be sure to.”

“And eventually we can play together.”

“That would be amazing! We could write a song together,” you said.

“Definitely.” You stopped playing for just a second to rest your hands, seeing as it had been a while. Ellie took that as an opportunity to grab them and place kisses on the back of your hand and your knuckles. “I’m happy you like it. Never stop playing, okay?”

You nodded, and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

[tearblossom]

Hear my soul speak. Of the very instant that I saw you, Did my heart fly at your service.

- William Shakespeare (The Tempest – Act 3, Scene 1)

Well, this is it. This is the absolute pinnacle of what this game can offer me. His Shakespeare face is the ultimate for me, man. Nothing is going to be able to top this one. Ever. The way he looks at her in this moment is my everything. I literally just stare at it for long periods of time, more often than not while lying in bed, in silence or with some sad, romantic ambient/piano music going. Some of my favorites are those Resident Evil save room themes with the added rain ambience on YT. Oh, sweet Jesus! It just melts me into an unrecognizable puddle and sends me to my happy place. I'm listening to it right now lol. I was just staring.. 😭

His and Laura's entire storyline is one, big Shakespeare moment but THIS moment right here is THE Shakespeare moment. It's one of the most romantic things I've ever seen in my entire goddamn life and I'm not exaggerating. The amount of love in this man's eyes create tears in mine. It has me reciting poetry in old English and crying on main.

I just can't believe that he was willing and very, very content to flush six torturously long and brutal years of waiting for this very moment to kill Silas straight down the toilet if it meant that Laura would be even the slightest bit happier than she was before. Her piece of mind was his piece of mind. Her happiness, his happiness. Her “revenge”, his absolution. And to hell with everybody else! All that mattered was her. It’s okay if he dies as long as she’s the one to do it. This just breaks me. It literally breaks me. I know I’m being super dramatic but this is just the way it makes me feel. I can’t help it! I'm just trying my best to put it into words. 😩

That picture is set as all of my backgrounds. I simply can't get enough of it. It's my new obsession. I had my Dark!Travis phase (and still do because I'm never getting over Dark!Travis because I love him so much!) but Good Travis here has made a comeback of epic proportions. He wasn't just gonna sit there quietly and let this shit slide. He was getting fed up with my lusting over Dark!Travis all of the fucking time even though I lust over both of them equally. 🤣

He told me, "So, you think Dark!Travis is hot? Well, congratu-fucking-lations! But does he do this?” 

N.. no. He.. he doesn’t.. 😳 😳

Come what sorrow can, It cannot countervail the exchange of joy, That one short minute gives me in her sight.

- William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet – Act 2, Scene 6)

rose divider: @firefly-graphics​

[daddysfangirls-anime]

Why are you here?

Pairing: Kaneki x reader (x Ayato)

Warning: Fluff, Language, smut, fingering, oral,

Summary: She likes Kaneki and wants to know why he joined Aogiri Tree. She gets her answers and more .

Why was he here?

Ken Kaneki it was obvious he was here for his own personal reasons and benefits. But what were they? Why join Aogiri Tree the people who kidnapped and tortured him? Why?

These were what thoughts ran through (y/n) head every time she saw him. At first, she didn't care but the more she saw him and got to know him the more the questions nagged her.

why was he here?

Her reason was obviously, Ayato, her best friend she followed him like a lost puppy. She had no one else. But why was Kaneki here? It seemed as if everyone but she knew.

Why was he here?

I can smell your brain frying from here. Just go talk to him." Ayato said seating on the window seal (y/n) sat on her bed she had a dumbfounded look. "oh don't give me that look. I can see your head turning. Your wondering why again. How about instead of wondering YOU GO ASK" Ayato had watched (y/n) drive herself mad putting theories of why together. He knew why Kaneki was here, to get stronger simple as that. To reach his true form. Weird sentimental shit.

"you think he'll answer me" (y/n) stood from her bed

"why shouldn't he, it's just a question" Ayato shrugged and (y/n) nodded as she left the room Ayato watched her go.

He didn't like this obsession (y/n) had with Kaneki it made him uneasy. He thought Kaneki a bit unstable though respected him for his strength, goals, and ability to protect his sister. Ayato thought himself almost equal to Kaneki, ALMOST.

(Y/n) stood in front of Kaneki's door hesitate to go in. Alright, alright you got this. She went to knock on his door then opened it not waiting for a response.

"I wondered when you would come in?" Kaneki said standing in front of a window.

"why are you here?" (y/n) jumped straight to the question. Kaneki looked over his shoulder. Did she really not know? Everyone else knew even the higher-ups who allowed him to join knew. But she didn't know. Guess you could blame Ayato for that. Even as a goal he kept her very clueless and innocent.

He was bored maybe this would be fun.

"what, you don't know?" Kaneki turned around. "no" she looked so adorable. "I thought it was obvious, apparently not. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Just a theory but...maybe Ayato. I mean he's Touka, your friend's, brother. Maybe you're here to convinces him to go back. Or... you' re a spy here together secrets maybe you' re part of the CCG. Oh, or you're here to work up the ranks then kill the one eyed ghoul, The leader".

(y/n) took a seat on Kaneki's couch as she rambled on and on somewhere in her rambling she switched from theories to books to movies. She didn't even notice when Kaneki handed her a cup of coffee. Kaneki found her rambling and how she easily switched between topics adorable (y/n) didn't even notice how comfortable she had made herself until she took a sip of her coffee.

Shoes off, curled up on his couch, coffee in hand, Kaneki sitting across with a small smile.

"oh my gosh, I am so sorry" (y/n) tried to get up seeing as she had made herself too comfortable.

"no, no, no" Kaneki stopped her "it's fine it's fine"

"I was rambling then got comfortable"

"I like it. It's adorable" (y/n) blushed settling back into the couch. The only person that enjoyed her rambling was Ayato. It was flattering to have someone else enjoy it.

"Did any of my theories come close" Kaneki chuckled "yes and no". "well are you going to tell me what I got right"

"Nope"

"tell me" (y/n) whined leaning against Kaneki "why"

"I want to know why you're here"

"why"

"..."

"Why do you want to know so badly that you're begging for it" the tension in the air got really but it wasn't scary tension but something else.

" I ... because. I want to know when you're going to leave" she pulled away and looked down. She hated to have to say it but she had developed a small crush on Kaneki in his time being here. She liked him since the day they kidnapped him. That was fun.

Kaneki leaned in a little closer setting her coffee cup elsewhere. "why do you want to know that?"

"I... I don't want you to leave" Kaneki wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap.

"and why is that, (y/n), why don't you want me to leave?" oh this boy was playing dirty like the devil.

"I enjoy you're Company and I like you and - I just want you to stay. Who will I have to talk about books when you're gone?"

-

"Don't you have Ayato?" Kaneki asked as his lips ghost across her skin. She shivered. "I'm sure he'll be happy to listen to you" he kissed and sucked on her neck as she whimpered and whined under him.

"Ayato, h-he doesn't really listen. I- I aaahhhhhh" (y/n) moaned as Kaneki's hand moved up and grasped her breast through her shirt. Kaneki leaned back (y/n) still in his lap and put his arms behind his head.

"You want me to stay then make me stay. Show me you want me to stay."

(y/n) slid off of Kaneki's lap and got on her knees in front of him. She made direct eye connect with him as she unbuckled his pants and pulled out his cock. (y/n) leaned forward still making eye connect with she kissed the tip of his cock. "you're going to need to do more than that if you want me to stay"

Licking for the base to the tip (y/n) took all of Kaneki's cock in her mouth in one got quickly hitting the back of her throat. She had most defiantly done this before. Kaneki groaned but kept his hands behind his head as (y/n) sucked and bobbed up and down on his cock. He continued to hit the back of her throat as her hands massaged his balls.

"Fuck. I'm not going to last long with you doing all that. As good as the view it I'd like to finish elsewhere." Pulling her back Kaneki stood her up and helped her pull off her dress and panties, thank god she when braless today. Pulling her back down into his lap Kaneki hand found it's between her legs feeling how wet she was. "looks like you enjoyed that as much as me"

(y/n) moaned as his hands spread her folds and slipped inside of her. She leaned forward gripping his shoulders as he pumped his two fingers inside of her and had his thumb working her clit. She moaned as she clawed at his chest.

"yes, yes, yes"

Kaneki fingered her until she was brought to the edge clenching around his fingers then he pulled away. (y/n) whimpered as she felt the emptiness. "don't worry I'm giving you something bigger". And in one swift move, Kaneki thirsted up into her.

(y/n) screamed and fell on to him as he filled her in one go. He didn't stop to let her adjust but continued to pound into her. It took a moment but soon the  pain became pleasure and (y/n) moaned as Kaneki thrust into her. Arching her back massaging her breast with one hand and her clit with the other.

"I'm I'm so close... please, please, please"

Kaneki speeds up as he gripped her hips tighter and pounded into her harder. (y/n) screamed as she came clenching around Kaneki triggering his end. Feeling Kaneki fill her made her moan and almost come a second time.

Kaneki twisted them so they were laying down on the couch. (y/n) whimpered as Kaneki gripped her ass and lifted her so that he would slip out of her.

-

Kaneki drew soft circles on (y/n) back as she laid on his chest listening to his heartbeat it was like a loud yet low drum. It was something she'd never get used to, but like to hear.

"Touka," Kaneki said. (y/n) looked up yo see Kaneki looking at the ceiling " I'm here for Touka ... and everyone else at the Café. I want to get strong and better so I can help and protect them. So nothing will ever happen to them. I'm not here for beliefs I'm here for strength".(y/n) sat up

"you could've just told me that we didn't have to do ... this" she waved around to her clothes on the floor and her naked body. Kaneki managed to stay dress the whole time.

"To be honest I was bored" Kaneki chuckled (y/n) scoffed "well I'm glad I could entertain you".

Getting up (y/n) dressed herself leaving Kaneki she heads to her and Ayato's room.

Entering the room she found Ayato in his bed and collapsed on him. Her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat it was nice and soft like a piano. It was something she was already so too and couldn't go a day without hearing.

"did you get your answers" he had one hand on a book and the other combing through her hair. "Touka... and strength. But mainly Touka" he threw his book

"Thought so"

Ayato pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. As he rubbed her thigh he felt a wetness "something tells me you two did more that talked" he said as his hands dipped down into her folds. Shit, she knew she forgot something.

"yeah" (y/n) sighed "He wouldn't tell me at first. Plus he was bored. He wants Touka not me, it was just a waste of fucking time. and he didn't even last that long"

Ayato laughed as he pulled her closer and kissed her cheeks." That's okay I want you. You're my slut best friend."

"who are you calling a slut" (y/n) said sitting up and straddling Ayato

"you, the girl who left then waltzed back in 30 minutes later with no underwear and cum dripping out of her. You are literally dripping ."

(Y/n) pulled up her dress to reveal her clean shaven pussy that was indeed dripping. This was no the first time he had seen her naked nor the last. Ayato laughed. (y/n)pulled her dress down looked directly into his eyes and said

"shut up"

[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"