#just joshing i think they were besties

[kettleghost]

yeah

[jackienautism]

ok. ok . WAIT . whatg if i said. misty quigley and hannah washington and-[is taken down immediately]

[juniestar]

What stage of a breakup is my ex’s boss/friend adding me to their close friends story????

[waywardxrhea]

loml - a Spencer Reid one shot

pairing: Spencer Reid x former BAU!fem!reader (no use of y/n)

word count: ~15k (this one's a beast whoops)

You left behind the BAU years ago and have been working as the captain of the police force in small town Montana when a string of murder-suicides catch your attention and you start looking into them. The BAU is called in and you become overwhelmed by feelings surrounding your ex-boyfriend Spencer Reid as you attempt to investigate this case and clear the air between the two of you.

content: canon-level violence, blood, swearing, anxiety, idiots in love

now playing: loml by taylor swift

not my gif, dividers by @firefly-graphics, and once again shoutout to my bestie @westernbitch for helping to come up with case details for this one!

A sharp knock broke the silence of your office and you looked up to see one of your reporting officers at the door with a look on her face that told you something terrible happened. “What's going on, Kate?” you asked, placing the file you were holding down onto the desk to give her your full attention. 

She sat down in the chair across from you and taking a shaky breath, she whispered, “There’s been another murder-suicide… It was Natasha and Hayden…” 

“Oh my God I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do for you or your family right now?” you asked, getting up and making your way around the desk to give the younger officer a hug. 

Kate’s sister and her boyfriend had taken off nearly two months ago for their freshman year at UCLA and weren’t due back until Thanksgiving. Maybe the pair didn’t agree on their majors like they originally decided or got spooked by the big life changes and decided that this was the best course of action. He did have a history of prior juvenile battery charges… Nonetheless it just wasn’t sitting right with you… Not after two other murder-suicides within the last four months. So after sending Kate home to be with her parents and remaining sibling, you went to investigate the crime scene. 

When you got back and had some time to do some thinking, you called one of your detectives into the office. “You wanted to see me?” came his voice as he stepped into the office a few minutes later. 

You stopped your fast-paced writing of theories to offer a polite smile as he sat down across from you after closing the office door. “I wanna see if you can connect the same dots that I am, Josh.”

“Okay, shoot,” he says, leaning forward with an eager smile. Josh had joined your squad a few months ago as a rookie detective and he was always ready to look into anything that came across your desk. 

“Six months ago the Fenways went away to mourn his cousin’s death in Florida. Then before anyone even knew they were back home, they both turn up dead in what was ruled a murder-suicide,” you started, tapping your pen along the paper sitting on the desk in front of you. “Then the Greenwoods turned up in the same situation a couple months later after going away on an Alaskan cruise.”

“Maybe that was the breaking point for both men. Everyone knew their marriages were on the rocks for months before that happened,” Josh said in a contemplative voice as he leaned back into his chair. “Losing a relative and driving all the way down to Florida and back could have caused some tension that made him snap. Same with being stuck on a boat for a few weeks. I heard they weren’t allowed to dock and were stranded on board for a week or so because of a conservationist protest. That would make anyone’s temper short.”

“That’s what I thought too,” you agreed. “However, Natasha Quinn and Hayden Welkins just turned up dead in another apparent murder-suicide.”

“No way!” Josh said, his eyes widening in shock at the news. He ran a hand over his chin and asked, “Is Kate okay?”

“She’s at home mourning with her family. She’ll be off for the next few days but I’m taking her off of this investigation,” you replied. 

“Investigation? Why is it a-?” he said, but then paused in the middle of his sentence. “Wait, you think there’s someone behind this, don’t you?”

“That I do,” you affirmed with a nod. “One was a tragedy, two could be a coincidence, but three? I think someone’s behind this. It could be someone manipulating them into killing.” You looked at the pictures of the dead bodies in the file you began creating and sighed. You scrunched your eyebrows together and shook your head as you said, “There’s so far been no signs of physical torture on the victims. They were all found days post-mortem in wooded areas off of trails though, so their bodies were worse for wear so we can’t exactly rule it out. Even then, psychological torture is a viable option.”

“So maybe the trips away weren’t even real… Maybe whoever is doing this created fake letters to send to all of the victims to make everyone in town aware that they would be gone so suspicion wasn’t raised…” Josh said as dots began to connect in his mind. “And as much as I hate to say this, Natasha and Hayden may have been a crime of opportunity. They could have been driving home exhausted when something happened and they were grabbed.”

A proud smile made its way onto your face at his theory and you nodded, telling him, “Exactly what I was thinking. Whoever this unsub is is getting sloppy and we’re going to get to the bottom of it.”

“W-wait, us? You want me on this?”

“As a rookie detective you just deduced what I did as a former FBI agent with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. You’ve got what it takes, Josh. So yes, I’m asking you to help me out with this case,” you said with an encouraging nod. “This is a small town and people talk, so let’s get out there and see what anyone knows.”

“Yes ma’am!” he said, jumping up from his chair and turning toward the door with a spring in his step. 

“And Josh?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“This case is on a need to know basis so it stays between us unless I tell you someone else is allowed to know about it. Got it?”

“Got it!” he said while giving you a two-finger salute and a sideways smile. 

“So be subtle!” you shouted with a laugh as he exited the office and set out to begin his investigation while you conducted yours. 

A few weeks later you were making some headway in the investigation on the murder-suicide case. One crisp November morning when you and Josh were talking with someone over coffee about what they knew of the Greenwoods and their supposed vacation, you heard a scream outside of the diner. With your eyebrows scrunching together, you looked outside only to see a man holding a woman in a chokehold with a gun pointed to her head. 

Rushing out of the diner, you made your way to the area near the fountain where he was at and held up your empty hands to show that you meant no harm. When you got closer you finally recognized the man and woman standing in front of you. They were a married couple that had moved to the town a couple of years ago after vacationing in the area. From the outside they were a happy couple, but you had heard around the rumor mill that she had cheated on him on occasion when she was drunk. 

“Hey,” you began in a soft voice, one you would use if you were approaching a skittish animal so you didn’t spook it off. “Hunter, can you please put the gun down? We can talk okay? Just let Hanna go and we can talk things out.”

“No!” he shouted, pointing the gun in your direction to fend you off. “She deserves this! He told me so!”

“What did she do to deserve this, Hunter?” you asked softly as you creeped closer slowly. All the while, the emaciated woman just stood there catatonically in his hold. There was no hint of light in her eyes and if you didn’t see her breathing you would have guessed she was already dead. “Who told you this?”

“All you women are the same! He told me that all you do is lie! All you do is take advantage of us and then leave when it’s convenient for you!” he shouted, voice strained and eyes with a wild look in them. It was a look you had seen too many times during your time in the BAU, but before you could take further action to try and talk the man down, the first shot already rang out followed in quick succession by the second. 

A whirlwind of emotions filled your body in response to the event and they paralyzed you as you stared at the pair of bodies on the ground in front of you. Shock, disbelief, horror, confusion. A roaring sound filled your ears as your mind flashed to the day you decided to leave the BAU, but your thoughts were torn away from that time when you felt hands on your shoulders gently shaking you back to reality. “Captain. Captain! Are you all right?” came Josh’s voice through the cotton feeling in your ears. 

“I need to call Emily…” you whispered in reply, the back of your hand going to wipe away some of the blood that had spattered onto your face and was starting to slowly drip down. It hurt your pride to call in your former team and you have always dreaded the day you needed to, but you knew that you were in over your head trying to solve this on your own anymore…

“Okay, will everyone gather around? We’ve got a case,” Emily Prentiss announced to her team as she strode into the bullpen of the offices of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. 

“What’ve we got this time?” Tara Lewis asked as she looked up from the paperwork she was finishing up at her desk. 

“It appears to be a string of manipulated murder-suicides up in Montana. I have it on good authority that the latest victim was implying that someone convinced him that his wife deserved to die and then he took his own life shortly after hers,” Emily informed the team as they gathered in the area. “The other acts were not witnessed but I’m sure if we did a deep dive into their personal lives we would find evidence that the other male victims believed the same of their partners. This is the fourth murder-suicide in the town in five months and the unsub seems to be getting more brazen with his acts so we’re wheels up in thirty.”

“Fourth in five months? Why did the locals wait so long to contact someone?” Luke Alvez asked, the corners of his mouth turning down into a frown at the thought of someone letting this go on for so long. 

“Because the captain is a former one of ours,” she replied, shooting Luke a look that said to not reprimand the actions of the officer. “She was working the case herself and was beginning to make headway when the unsub set the latest two out to commit the act in the middle of downtown. Happened right in front of her. This case is escalating and it’ll take more than one set of trained eyes on it to catch this guy.”

“A former one of our own? Who is she talking about?” JJ asked quietly to no one in particular.

“Oh I know exactly who she’s talking about…” Penelope Garcia said quietly with a glance in the direction of Spencer Reid who seemed none the wiser about who their unit chief was talking about. 

JJ followed Garcia’s glance and quietly gasped as she asked, “You don’t mean-?”

“Yes I do mean!” Penelope said conspiratorially as she leaned in closer to the blonde. “When she left, Spencer never contacted her because he was so broken up over Maeve’s death that by the time he was finally in a headspace to process the breakup and her leaving the team it was far too late to try and make amends so he just never did! He doesn’t know where she went and she cut off all contact with the team except for me and it’s been a secret that I have hated keeping for so long because I know we all loved her so very much!” Penelope took a deep breath and let it out as she slouched back in her chair as if keeping that in all these years was a heavy weight that had finally been taken off of her shoulders. “You can’t tell him though!”

“Why not? He deserves to know that he’s going to be walking into his ex-girlfriend's police station!” JJ whispered back. 

“If you had a nasty breakup with someone would you want to know you were heading to meet with them and have to stew in that anxiety and uncertainty for hours on the plane ride there?” Penelope asked, a stern look in her eye as she once more straightened up in her chair. “That big brain of his would work overtime trying to figure out what to say so that you would make zero headway on the case!”

“Fine…” JJ relented. A small smirk graced her lips as she added, “I’ll keep you in the loop with how awkward he gets.”

“You better!” Penelope said. An air of seriousness washed over her for a moment as she added, “I know this case may dredge up a lot of old memories for Spencer so can you just keep an eye on him?”

“Of course,” JJ replied. Penelope smiled in return before heading off to her office with a file of information to look into on the victims. 

Time went by paradoxically during the wait for the BAU to show up at your station. It went slowly because you dreaded the looks on everyone’s faces upon seeing you after nearly four years with no contact. As you showered the blood off of yourself in the staff locker room, your mind once more flashed back to the day you decided to leave the BAU. 

It had been months of feeling distant from Spencer as he got closer and closer with the geneticist you pushed him to go to in order to get to the bottom of the headaches that had been plaguing him on and off for some time. Maeve Donovan. May she rest in peace, but she was the reason your relationship with Spencer fell apart… As their talks got deeper and he opened up to her more, you felt like you were sloughed away from Spencer’s life, brushed off so he could take calls with her and discuss what for the most part never even sounded like his could-be battle with schizophrenia like his mother… 

You remembered the day he had wrapped a book to give her when they decided to first meet. You couldn’t even remember the name of the book, but the returning feeling of heartbreak made a quiet sob escape your mouth as you scrubbed the shampoo into your hair harshly. The dam finally broke as you remembered the day that you and the whole team took time off of the clock to help Spencer out with getting to the bottom of who was stalking Maeve and making her fear for her life. Tears flowed freely from your eyes and dripped down into the soapy water swirling into the drain as you pictured Spencer sobbing over Maeve’s body as she too was killed in a murder-suicide. Hearing him whisper the words that you hadn’t heard in weeks of “I love you,” to her as he cried was what sealed the deal because in your heart you knew Spencer didn’t love you anymore. 

It took a few more days to make the final decision but in a whirlwind of anxiety you had made many phone calls back home to your parents and they encouraged you to take some time away from the BAU to come home to Montana and figure things out. So you put your notice with Hotch in and quietly broke things off to a catatonic Spencer who was so bereft following Maeve’s death that he didn’t even react to the breakup. 

Once back home you spent a few months piecing yourself together before moving for a job offer you felt like you couldn’t refuse and since then had been promoted to Captain after a year. It wasn’t ever what you planned for your career, but life has a funny way of guiding you in the direction you’re meant to go. 

Turning to face the shower stream once again, you scrubbed your face with your face wash one more time to ensure you got all of the blood off before turning off the shower and beginning to dry yourself. You wiped away the steam from the mirror in front of you and looked at your reflection, squeezing your eyes shut as you pictured the blood on your face again. When you looked back up at yourself again, it was obvious that you had been crying so you made quick work of getting dried off and into a fresh set of clothes that Josh brought from your house before heading to your office to try and freshen up with the meager set of makeup you had in there. 

You were surprised to see your entire makeup collection on the desk and as you sat down to begin working the makeup on, Josh popped his head into your office, saying, “Hey Cap! Lindsey went with me to get your stuff and we grabbed all of that for you. Said something about seeing your ex-”

“I told you not to tell her that!” came the voice of another one of your officers as she made her appearance in the doorframe. She shot you an apologetic look and said, “I’m sorry I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s just that-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” you said before forcing a cheery smile on your face at the pair in front of you. “Thank you two for getting the clothes and makeup from my place, I appreciate it.” You resumed your makeup with slightly shaking hands as you asked, “Now can you go make sure the work area is in the order I requested? Whiteboards and markers ready, corkboard cleared of the meme wars, desks available, coffee brewing with plenty of sugar because I know we were almost out earlier this morning.”

“Yes ma’am,” they chorused before taking off to get the space ready for the team’s arrival which would be… in less than an hour. 

The hour flew by as you went over the case file once again and you jumped as you heard a knock on your door that pulled you out of your concentration. Looking up, you couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto your face as you said with quiet enthusiasm, “Emily! It’s been a while. How have you been?”

“I’ve been well. As you know I got promoted to Unit Chief after Hotch left. I see you’ve been getting some promotions too,” she said warmly as you stood up and offered your arms out for a hug which she accepted. “Garcia?” she asked simply and you knew she was asking how you had kept up with things in your absence, so you nodded. When you pulled away, she glanced at the notes on your desk and asked, “Are you ready for the brief with the team?”

The question made your heart jump in its cage. “Who all is left from my days on the team? What new faces can I expect?” you asked, trying to tiptoe around the elephant in the room. 

“Spencer’s here if that’s what you’re getting at,” she replied softly as she reached down and gave your arm a reassuring squeeze. 

“Damn profilers,” you said jokingly before taking a deep breath and gathering up your files to take to the main area of the station to meet with the team. 

Your heart hammered in your chest so hard you could practically feel it jumping up in your throat as you approached the meeting area. You busied yourself with your papers as you and Emily made your way over, sweat beginning to dampen your hands the closer you got. You practically stopped breathing when your eyes looked up and met Spencer’s. He looked as handsome as ever, maybe even more, and all at once you felt everything rushing back, waves of emotions threatening to engulf you as you struggled to breathe under his gaze. 

Spencer looked like a deer in headlights when he spotted you and you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking at that moment. The look on his face suggested that no one told him that the case was being manned by you and while it made you happy that Penelope kept her word, you weren’t sure if the look of shock he was sporting was a good or bad thing… 

You were ripped away from your anxious thoughts and Spencer’s eyes as a cheer in a distinctive accent broke through the chatter of the office. Your name was called enthusiastically and you turned in the direction of the sound to see David Rossi sporting a wide grin as he held his arms out to embrace you. “How’ve you been kiddo?” David asked as he embraced you quickly before holding you at arms length to survey your features that had no doubt matured since he last saw you. 

“The last 24 hours or the last four years?” you asked with a quiet laugh. “I’ve been making it though. Can’t complain.”

“That’s good to hear,” he said before turning you toward the rest of the team and telling you, “That’s Tara Lewis and Luke Alvez, they’ve joined the team since your departure. I’m sure you’ll love them!”

You offered the two of them a smile before suddenly you were being pulled into a hug by JJ and when she pulled away you couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you were supposed to greet Spencer. You were always a hugger, everyone knew it, and you actually shocked the office when Spencer let you hug him just a few days after you joined the BAU. But that time felt like a distant memory and your eyes turned to the ground instead of looking back at the man who used to bring you so much comfort but at the same time, more than ever you wanted so desperately to be in his arms…

Thankfully you didn’t have to make a decision on the matter because Emily’s voice cut through the quiet roaring in your ears as she said, “Yes, yes we all missed her, but we can get back to the reunion later. Right now we’ve got an unsub to track down.” She called your name before asking, “What do we know?”

You cleared your throat and went into work mode, telling the team, “So far we have eight victims.” You began placing pictures of the scenes on the table as you listed off their names, “First was Nora and Henry Fenway who we as a town thought went off to Florida after Henry got the news that his cousin passed away. Big Catholic family who wanted to perform a lot of traditional stuff for the funeral. They were found over a month later by some tourists hiking through the trails on the outskirts of town.

“Next was Theresa and Harry Greenwood who were set to embark on an Alaskan cruise and got stuck in the water due to some conservationist protest. The protest story checks out, but when we called the cruise line a week or so ago, there was never a record of the couple on board, so we think that the cruise package they were boasting about winning was a ruse to make sure that the rest of us knew they were expected to be away for a while. They were found dead near a river off of a popular hiking trail.

“Third was the sister of one of my officers. Natasha Quinn and her boyfriend Hayden Welkins were thought to be off at UCLA for college but were found dead in an abandoned cabin that has been a known squatting location. Kate told us that there wasn’t too much contact from her sister during the time, but they all put it off to her being busy with school.”

You took a deep breath and tried to push the memory of the latest shooting out of your mind, but you could tell that your voice was distant as you detailed the latest pairing. “And just this morning it was Hanna and Hunter Newberry. He came out into the middle of downtown with Hanna in a chokehold and shot both her and himself but not before saying that ‘he’ told him that she deserved it.”

“Do we know anything about who ‘he’ might be?” JJ asked. 

“No idea,” you replied. “Josh and I have been doing some digging to see who started the rumors about the protest with the cruise, but it became a dead end when the first person who heard it said they just heard someone on the phone talking about it but they didn’t remember when it was or where they were.”

“You said that Kate’s sister didn’t have frequent contact. Does that mean she still texted occasionally?” Luke asked. 

“Kate and her family were getting occasional check-ins from Natasha, yes,” you confirmed. “Kate told me that the texts were pretty short for the most part though and that they didn’t really seem like her usual style of texting. She put it off to being busy between classes and trying to get into sororities though.” 

“I’ll have Penelope look into that,” Emily commented, taking down another note on the notepad she had in her hand. 

Your heart skipped a beat once more as Spencer’s voice cut through the air as he said, “All of the men’s names start with an H. I wonder if it could be the first initial of the unsub and he’s expressing himself through these killings. Maybe this is some twisted fantasy of his and he’s acting it out.”

“So you’re saying he might have an endgame?” David asked thoughtfully. 

“Yes, and I don’t think he’s going to stop until he gets her,” Spencer confirmed as he pondered over the photographs you left on the table before stepping away. 

“Then let’s get to work,” Emily said. She called your name to get your attention and informed you, “Tara and I will interview you about what you saw this morning. Spencer get started on the geographical profile. David head to the medical examiner’s office to see if there’s anything you can find on the bodies. Luke go see if you can get CCTV footage from the businesses around the crime scene. JJ start working with Josh to interview the other witness from this morning to see if she knows where the couple came from. I’ll patch Penelope in so she can get started on a list of men whose names start with an H that live in the area.”

“So can you walk me through exactly what happened this morning?” Tara asked you as you sat across from her and Emily in an interrogation room half an hour later. There was a part of you that for some reason felt like you were in trouble, but you understood the reason behind it. It was the easiest way to record the conversation and keep distractions from factoring into your memories of your encounter. 

“Josh and I were speaking with a cousin of the Greenways to see if they could give us some insight into how their marriage was when I heard a scream outside of the diner,” you replied quietly, eyes focused on the metal table between the three of you as you tried to remember everything. “When I got out, there was a bystander. She was the one that screamed and Josh took her away to make sure she didn’t get hurt.” You began picking at the sleeve of your sweatshirt as you continued, “I didn’t recognize the couple at first, they both looked worse for wear. Hunter is usually clean shaven but he had a wild beard that clearly hadn’t been taken care of and Hanna looked like her hair hadn’t been brushed in days… He had this wild look in his eyes and she just…she looked practically dead already.”

“How do you mean?” Tara asked curiously. 

“Well…there was no light in her eyes. Her cheeks were sunken in and she wasn’t even fighting. She just stood there,” you replied. “Even when Hunter was shouting and waving the gun there was no reaction whatsoever.”

“And what was Hunter shouting?” Emily asked. 

You paused for a moment and thought before replying, “He said, ‘She deserves this! He told me so!’ and then when I asked what he meant and who told him that he said something like, all women are the same and that he was told all we do is lie and take advantage of men and then leave when it’s convenient for us. And then…” you let out a sharp breath and closed your eyes as you remembered what happened next, “then he shot her and then himself.” You dabbed a tear away from the corner of your eye before adding, “I was so close to him when it happened… I… I just froze. Their blood was all over me and I just…” you didn’t even know how to finish your sentence as you let out a shaky breath, trying to hold your tears back and keep your hands occupied by messing with the hem of your sweatshirt. 

“It’s been a long time since you’ve been so close to something like that,” Emily offered quietly. 

“Exactly…” you whispered. “It reminded me why I left the BAU. When my anxiety and depression got so bad and I just couldn’t take it anymore… The job, life, everything was just too much. It broke me.”

“And that’s completely understandable,” Tara said empathetically, giving you a warm smile. There were a few moments of silence that were filled with her taking notes before she offered, “If you need a minute alone we can cover for you until you’re ready to go back out there.”

“Thank you,” you replied with a nod, leaning your head down onto your arms and feeling the cool metal of the table on your cheek to try and ground yourself before you slipped off into another breakdown. 

Meanwhile outside of the interrogation room, Spencer stood there with his heart breaking. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even hear JJ approach until she asked, “What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to work on the geographical profile.”

Spencer startled a bit before sighing and telling her, “I don’t know… I guess I just needed to know where her headspace was on everything.” He ran a hand through his messy hair and mumbled, “I really messed up with her, didn’t I? She said that this reminded her of when she left and that life was making her anxious before she even decided to go… That was because of me.”

JJ sighed and gave him a quick pat on the back as she replied, “Yeah, there’s no denying that you messed up big time…” She felt Spencer tense before she finished with, “But maybe you can at least ask for forgiveness. Take her to dinner and try to make amends.” Spencer nodded and threw you another glance before turning away and going to work on the geographical profile. 

When you emerged from the interrogation room, the team was either out on their assigned tasks or grabbing lunch, so you decided to get some quiet time with your files in your office while you tried to get some food down. You were pushing salad greens around in your tupperware when your phone began to ring and you picked it up with a, “Hello?”

“My sweet, sweet friend, oh how I missed your voice!” came Penelope’s cheerful voice through the speaker as her way of greeting you. 

“I’m sorry I don’t call Penny, I just… I was afraid of-” You cut yourself off and scoffed before finishing with, “Forget it, it’s dumb. You probably called about the case and I’m getting off track. What can I help you with?”

“No, no, tell me!” Penelope protested. “It is lunchtime there and no one is calling for anything so this has officially turned into a ‘tell Penelope all of your woes’ time!” 

You laughed quietly before asking, “And there’s no getting out of it?” 

“Unless there is literally another death while we’re on the phone then no,” she replied chipperly. 

Letting out a deep sigh, you decided that this wasn’t a battle you were going to win, so you told her, “I never called because I was afraid I would just open up old wounds. The thought of if we were on the phone and Spencer came in…it terrified me.” And suddenly, without even thinking about what you were saying, you blurted out, “And now here we are with him in the breakroom of my precinct drinking coffee that I made sure we had enough sugar for because I have never been able to fall out of love with Spencer Reid!” You covered your mouth to attempt to prevent the words from coming out but it was entirely too late for that. The truth was out there and Penelope had heard every word of it. 

“Oh honey…” she said in a quiet voice. 

You knew she didn’t mean it in a condescending way, but the building tightness in your chest after she said it was making it hard to breathe. You filled your lungs as much as they would allow before whispering, “I-I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, no, no! Don’t feel bad about your feelings!” she protested from her side of the line. 

“I-it’s just…” You took a slightly deeper breath before you began rambling again, telling her, “I’ve tried over and over and over again to find someone out here but it just never works. There was even this one guy back in April that was so sweet! Penelope, he picked me wildflowers while out on his guided hiking tours and arranged them into the most beautiful bouquets! He ordered me edible arrangements and had them sent to my office! He bought me coffee every morning in the diner when I was there picking up breakfast before coming into work! Hell, on our one and only date we had a candlelit picnic and he bought my favorite wine! That shit’s expensive! But I just couldn’t commit to him knowing that someone else still has my heart…and I don’t think there’s a way to get it back.” 

By the end of your rant, your tears were falling once more and you dabbed them away with a tissue or two as Penelope sighed and said, “I wish I could give you a hug right now… I had no idea you were still feeling that way.”

You scoffed quietly before asking, “Why would you? I should hate Spencer for what happened. He fell in love with someone else while still dating me and didn’t even flinch when I broke up with him because he was so torn up about her death. But…” You shook your head and finished quietly, “He’s the love of my life and it hurts so damn bad knowing that I’m not his.”

Before Penelope could offer anything else, there was a knock at your door and you looked up to see it cracking open to reveal Spencer’s handsome face with that awkward-as-ever smile crossing his lips. “Spencer, hey,” you whispered, your breath being knocked out of your lungs at his sudden appearance as you hoped that he didn’t hear anything you just said. 

“I think that’s my queue to go…” Penelope said quietly and in quick succession you heard the tell-tale sound of the call ending. 

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Spencer asked timidly as he opened the door a bit more to fully reveal himself. 

“O-of course,” you replied, hoping that it wasn’t too obvious that you had been crying. “Everything going okay out there? You holding up okay after…everything?” 

“I’m doing fine, yes,” He said with a quick nod. “I got the geographical profile down, but it’s in a weird pattern that I’m still trying to make sense of. All of the locations are in a strange arc sort of line without a centralized location that indicates a familiar area that the unsub is comfortable in. The first three sites were more so out in hiking areas in the woods so I thought it could be an avid hiker, but the latest one was so out in the open that it makes me wonder why the unsub chose that location. He isn’t escalating because there was still time for him to psychologically torment the victims before sending them out to commit the act so I’m trying to determine if maybe this was an outlier or if it’s a part of his endgame to have used that specific spot for that couple…” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest upon hearing him rant on about the profile he had created and you hoped he didn’t notice that your eyes were practically heart-shaped as you listened to his soothing voice ramble on about the case. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight from foot to foot before adding, “But uh…that’s not what I came to talk to you about.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and said quietly, “I was actually coming in here to ask if I could take you to dinner tonight. There’s a lot I feel like needs to be cleared up between us after…everything that happened. I know it may be wrong to ask for your forgiveness after so long but-”

“Yes,” you replied instantly, unable to fight the smile working its way onto your lips at the offer. 

“Y-yes?” he asked with an undeniable sparkle in his eyes as he too gave into his emotions and let his smile light up the room. 

You nodded and were about to say something more when Emily popped her head into the office after giving a short knock on the door, informing you both, “Garcia got us a list of possible suspects, let’s get to work.”

“Yes ma’am,” you and Spencer replied in unison, and you had to fight back the giddy giggle that threatened to bubble out of your mouth at the statement in stereo. 

That evening you took a quick trip to your house to freshen up before meeting Spencer. Even though you knew it wasn’t a date situation, you still took the time to make your hair look nice and put on a dose of perfume that you remembered Spencer liking. When you pulled into the parking lot of the cafe you and Spencer agreed to meet at and stepped out into the chilly November air, you pulled your coat close as you started toward the door. 

Before you could reach out to grab the handle though, another hand reached out and pulled it for you. Expecting to see Spencer holding the door open for you, your heart gave a stutter in your chest as suddenly the reality of the situation hit you. You would likely be discussing what happened back in Virginia, and that would mean talking about Maeve and the reason your relationship ended and that scared you. Sure, you had attempted to process everything yourself, but facing it head on would be an entirely different experience in which you would have to hear what made him fall out of love with you…

Your anxiety spiked for a completely different reason though when you looked up because when you did, your eyes met the very man you turned down because you still weren’t over Spencer. “Hartley, hey. Thanks,” you said quietly as you slipped through the door and into the warm building. 

“Looking for some company?” he asked as he walked in behind you and began attempting to help you take off your coat. 

Before you could respond, the hostess greeted you by name and asked how many were in your party. “There’ll be two, Rose,” you told her with a smile and she began reaching down to grab a couple of menus from behind the counter. While you were telling her this, you pulled away a comfortable distance from Hartley and began taking off your coat and gloves on your own. “I’m meeting someone actually,” you told him simply, tucking the gloves into a pocket and hanging the coat on the rack by the door.  

“Oh, okay,” he said slowly. “Are they late? I can get you an appetizer and drink while you wait,” he offered and you noticed his eyes moving around the restaurant in search of your intended partner. 

As he said this, the small bell above the door chimed and your eyes gravitated that way to see who was entering. Raising a hand in a wave, you greeted Spencer with a smile as he joined you at the hostess counter. He quickly took off his coat and racked it before running a hand through his messy hair and saying, “Sorry I’m a few minutes late, I was wrapping up something with Prentiss at the station!”

“It’s no problem, Spence. Rose was just about to take me to the table,” you assured him as you nodded your head toward the kind woman. 

“Great,” he said as the pair of you began following Rose to the table in the back corner she knew you preferred to dine at. 

“I guess I’ll see you around,” you said quietly to Hartley who was escorted to his usual spot at the bar by another hostess. 

“Who was that?” Spencer asked curiously after the two of you placed your drink orders. 

“Something that I assume will be addressed when we talk,” you admitted, feeling heat begin to crawl up your neck. Spencer nodded stiffly and remained silent in response to the comment, the tension only breaking when Rose came back with the drinks and said she would give Spencer a few minutes with the menu. 

“So what’s good to eat here?” Spencer asked timidly after a few more moments of silence as his eyes quickly scanned the menu. 

You let out a quiet sigh of relief at the fact that he wasn’t diving into the serious talk you needed to have and relaxed a little in your seat as you began raving over the menu items that you preferred and which ones you thought should be avoided. “And we have to get dessert, the pie here is to die for!” you gushed as you pointed out the dessert menu on the back. 

“Let me guess, the coconut cream is your go to?” Spencer asked, a small smile lining his lips. 

“Always,” you affirmed, a smile breaking out on your lips. “Remember that time when I-?” you tried to start, but couldn't even get through half of the sentence before dissolving into a fit of giggles. 

“When you were bringing a pie to the office and you tripped as you were putting it on the counter and tried to play it off as a pie eating contest with Morgan?” Spencer asked with a laugh and a sparkle in his eye at the memory. 

“Yes!” you said, more laughter spilling out of you as you remembered Derek’s reaction. “I still can’t believe he actually went along with it!” 

So that was how the two of you spent the next little while - reminiscing on the better times you two had at the BAU before your abrupt departure. That was, until Spencer’s eyes drifted slightly left over your shoulder as he asked once more, “Who did you say that guy was from earlier? He’s been glaring daggers this way the whole time we’ve been here…”

You sighed and nodded. It was time to face the music. So you took a deep breath and told him, “That’s Hartley. He flirted with me for months before I finally agreed to a date with him, but… Things just didn’t work out between us. Ever since then, he’s tried to get with me again, but I always turn him down.”

“Why’s that?” Spencer asked, his posture straightening the slightest bit at your words which you tried not to overanalyze as you instinctively studied his body language.

“I… It felt disingenuous to be with someone when my heart was still back in Virginia with you…” you admitted quietly as you pushed around some of the food on your plate to distract yourself and to avoid looking into Spencer’s eyes. When he didn’t say anything in response, your heart rate kicked up and you felt your palms start to sweat as you began rambling. “And I know that may sound crazy because it’s been so long but I just never got any sort of closure with you after everything that happened so I never really closed that part of my life away and so those feelings just…never left… I know you fell out of love with me, but it just isn’t that easy on my part…”

You wiped away a stray tear that escaped during your ranting and were about to open your mouth to apologize when Spencer whispered your name in a broken voice as he reached across the table to request your hand to hold. When you tentatively gave it to him, Spencer’s large hand wrapped around yours as he said in a quiet voice, “I know that saying this now doesn’t make up for all these years of silence, but I really am so sorry for what happened.” He cleared his throat and told you, “When you found Maeve for me and I started speaking with her about my headaches I finally felt seen. I thought I loved her because she was able to help me get through something that had been plaguing me for years. I was so excited to finally understand what was happening with me that I didn’t even realize that I had started to put you on the backburner. By the time I did, Maeve was dead and you had left and I didn’t know what to do so I just never reached out…” 

“Oh… I-I’m sorry I-” you started to say after a few moments. 

“No!” he exclaimed a little louder than he probably intended because you could see a tint of red creep onto his cheeks and he slouched into himself to try and make himself smaller. He squeezed your hand before saying in a quieter voice, “Please don’t blame yourself for anything that happened. Looking back I know that you were trying to be there for me, but I got hyper focused on what Maeve was doing for me that I started to prioritize you less and that wasn’t fair to you.” 

You cleared your tightening throat and told him, “Everyone makes mistakes, Spence.”

“But not everyone’s mistakes make them lose the love of their life like mine did,” he told you, a serious tone in his voice as he held your eye contact unwaveringly. “I messed up and I know I don’t deserve it but I would like to try and make amends so I can eventually earn your forgiveness.”

“I think you’re already on your way there, Doctor,” you told him, a shy smile on your lips as your eyes darted toward your intertwined hands. 

“So explain to me again what the ME’s findings tell us?” you asked as you flipped through a file the next evening. 

“The brains of all the victims had densities and lesions in certain portions that have to deal with the capacity to have rational thoughts and feel emotions properly. We think that this happened because they were exposed to emotional and psychological torture for an extended period of time which is how the unsub manipulated them into performing a murder-suicide,” Spencer informed you quickly. 

David ran a hand over his chin before asking, “So then what did the unsub have on all of these people that made them so easy to manipulate into snapping?” 

“Well we know that he said that all women are the same and just use men, so-” you started to say but were interrupted by JJ coming up with her phone on speaker and Penelope’s enthusiastic voice coming through the speakers. 

“All of the women in these couples were wanting an out from their relationship in one way or another!” Penelope informed the group. “There were some cases of cheating or wanting a divorce or breakup or just getting out of an abusive partnership. Poor Natasha was being abused by Hayden and just wanted out…”

There were a few moments of silence before Spencer suggested, “If all of these women were trying to leave their relationships in some way then maybe that was the unsub’s stressor.”

“Maybe he was cheated on or recently divorced then,” Luke offered. 

“Right,” Emily agreed. “Garcia, can you start looking into recently divorced men in the area and cross match that with your list of men whose names start with H?” Emily asked. 

“I am on it!” the blonde replied as you all heard her fingers typing away on her keyboard. After a few moments she said, “There are a handful of recent divorcees in the area. A Harold Fenton, Herschel Brunswick, and Hester Lincoln.”

“Right, so then we start with those men and see if they have anything to do with these cases,” Emily informed the group. “It’s getting late and I doubt anyone is going to be awake at this hour for questioning, so we start in the morning and I’ll assign teams for the interrogations then. Be smart people, it isn’t going to be enough to just get an alibi for the time of the killings. We need to know where he was roughly when the couples were abducted and if he’s got other properties or a room in his house where he could have done the torturing.”

Before there could be any more discussion on the matter, Josh came into the precinct with a shocked looking woman on his arm. JJ and Tara rushed over to retrieve the woman from him and you asked quietly, “What happened?”

“She said she was out for an evening walk when she came across two recently shot bodies. Jessica Stevenson and Hendrix Jordan. Both shot in the head presumably with a pistol that was found beside his body,” Josh replied grimly. “While EMS was looking over her to make sure she wasn’t hurt, I asked around and turns out a neighbor had heard them fighting pretty loudly before she stormed out. He followed pretty soon after, but the neighbor said they didn’t see him with a gun.”

“Did you take any pictures of the scene?” you asked, your mind beginning to run a million miles an hour to try and work a way in front of this lunatic.

“Yeah,” Josh said as he pulled out his phone and pulled up the picture. 

The team gathered around the phone and each studied the photo before David asked, “Is anyone else seeing what I’m seeing?” 

“Yeah, the placement of that gun isn’t consistent with someone who just shot himself,” Luke said, his eyebrows coming together in confusion as he studied the picture. “And I’m sure once we get the ME report, it’ll show that the gun wasn’t flush with his head either.”

“So you’re suggesting that this one was a double murder?” JJ asked. 

“We don’t know for sure, so let’s not get lost in the weeds, people,” Emily told her team. “The unsub is escalating. He didn’t even take time to torture this couple. This may mean that he was triggered recently and felt the need to kill. We need to get to him before he gets to another couple.”

By the next afternoon the unsub had already struck again.

You and Spencer had just gotten back from speaking with Herschel Brunswick at the cafe when you were informed of the killings. Kaitlyn Grant and Harley Dixon, a young couple who the whole town loved, but knew he was drifting away because he was so committed to his job just outside of town and would spend long hours there. 

“Damnit!” you shouted in frustration, your fists clenching as you could feel your blood begin to boil when it started to feel like rage was consuming your entire being. 

You brought your hands to your face in an attempt to cover up the anger but they were coaxed down and held gently by Spencer’s as he mumbled in his soothing voice, “Hey, we’re gonna figure this out.”

Ignoring Spencer’s words, you whispered, “This is my fault…” With the rage taking over once more, you snapped, “This town trusts me and the sheriff to keep them safe, but in the last five months twelve people have died! Twelve!” Your tears began to fall and you practically collapsed into Spencer’s arms as you whispered, “I can’t do anything right…”

Instinctively, Spencer caught you and started running a hand up and down your back to try and comfort you. Forgetting he was in front of the whole team and your officers, Spencer kissed the top of your head before trying to calm you down. When your breathing had finally slowed and your tears subsided enough for you to feel comfortable showing your face again, you untangled yourself from Spencer’s arms and gave him a quiet ‘thank you’ before turning to face the team and your officers who had all migrated toward the other side of the room in order to give you and Spencer space. 

You were about to try and make a speech toward the team to attempt to motivate not just them but yourself too when Tara came up and placed a hand on your forearm, giving you a warm smile. “I think you need a break,” she told you gently. “This case is getting to you and I think you need to clear your mind for a little while.”

“But-” you tried to protest, but were stopped by Spencer. 

“Significant stress has been shown to measurably affect neuronal properties and cognitive functioning of the hippocampus. It’s also been found to impair memory function and the ability to recall information of which could be crucial in a case like this. Did you know that in some theories about the effects of stress on the body, the individual actually loses the ability to function in the presence of excessive stress which leads to exhaustion and potentially death?”

“Okay, not what she needed to hear at this moment, but I agree with Reid that it may be best for you to go home and take a breather for a while. Details in this case are really important and I know that you want to nail this one,” Tara told you and began walking you to your office to grab your things and help you to your vehicle while assuring you that the team had it under control.

Back in the precinct, Emily cleared her throat and announced, “Okay everyone! We know from forensics that the gun was in fact not up against Jordan’s head when he was killed and that it was actually from a distance away so we can confirm that he was killed and did not commit suicide. I bet we’ll get the same result from today’s victims. This unsub is working overtime to get our attention so we need to give it to him.”

Spencer nodded and added, “Brunswick wasn’t our guy because we were with him all morning. What did we find out about the other men Garcia identified as recently divorced?”

“Fenton is clean too, we just got back a few minutes before you two,” Luke informed him.

Tara nodded in agreement. “Lincoln too. He isn’t our guy.”

“So what are we missing?” David asked. 

“I don’t think we’re missing something. Maybe we’re just thinking too narrowly,” Spencer offered as he turned to look at the new report Josh had filed on the new crime scene. 

“Well then let’s widen our thinking. We can’t let this guy kill anyone else,” Emily said finally before assigning groups to tasks. 

After finding out that of course there weren’t any trail cameras in the area of the latest scene, Spencer was once more going over files in search of something he must have somehow missed. “Why don’t you go over the geographical profile again now that we have more victims?” Emily suggested. 

So he did, taking stray pins from the cork board and placing them in the places of the latest two crimes. What was revealed in front of his eyes was the shape of a heart. “Son of a bitch…” he whispered, looking over to Emily with wide eyes. “He’s plotted out where he wants all of these people to die in order to make a heart on a map, so it could stand to be assumed that-”

“His real target lives in the middle of that heart,” Emily finished with a grim look on her face. 

“That’s a large area to cover that doesn’t seem like it’s heavily populated, we’ll need a few teams to fan out and search the area,” Spencer said, grabbing a pair of keys from the rented SUVs they had been using to get around town. 

“Right.” Emily looked around and started giving orders to those who were back at the station, “Luke, go with Spencer in the first SUV. Josh you’re with JJ and David in the second. Tara and I will go with Lindsey in a patrol car. We have a lot of ground to cover so let’s get moving!” 

Spencer calculated the coordinates to the exact center of the heart and began driving that way with Luke in the passenger seat. On the way there, Luke broke the silence of the vehicle by asking with a smirk, “So what was going on with you and the captain earlier?”

“Old habits die hard I guess. We used to date back when she worked at the BAU,” Spencer told him. “There were a lot of cases where she needed some mental help afterward and that’s how we ended up together. She found my facts and statistics comforting because at least there was some form of guarantee to her safety.”

“That’s cute, I didn’t know-” Luke began to say but stopped short when at the same time he and Spencer noticed the vehicle in the driveway of the house they were approaching. “Reid-” Before Luke could finish his sentence though, Spencer had thrown the SUV in park and was getting out with his gun pulled from his holster. “Reid, think rationally here! Just because her house is the one you think may be in the middle doesn’t mean-”

With his gun drawn in one hand and his phone in the other, Spencer dialed Penelope as he and Luke made their way up the winding driveway, keeping to the tree line and in the shadows of the fading sunlight. “How may I be of assistance Doctor? I-” Penelope started chipperly.

“Did she ever talk to you about her relationships since leaving?” Spencer asked quickly. 

“She? Who do you-?” she tried, but was quickly interrupted by Spencer blurting out your name to hurry her along. “Oh! Just one she told me about the other day! She said that back in April this guy tried to get with her but they just went on one date.”

“Hartley…” Spencer muttered under his breath. “Garcia, try to find anything on a man named Hartley in the area, that’s the last man she dated. Call Emily with whatever you find and send her to my location.”

“Got it!” she said before ending the call. 

“Reid, what's going on?” Luke asked urgently. 

“The first couple was abducted back in late April, after she rejected a man named Hartley. He was at the restaurant we went to the night before last and was glaring daggers at me the whole time. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that those two couples were killed so close together after that night…” Spencer told Luke quietly as they approached the house. 

Spencer just about reached for the doorknob of the house before Luke snatched his arm away and sharply whispered, “Don’t! You’re smarter than that! What’s gotten into you man?”

“It took me two days to figure out that she was the target of the unsub when it should have taken me two minutes after dinner that night! If she gets killed then that’s on my shoulders since she rejected him because of me!” Spencer whisper-shouted at him. 

“Then we need to do this right and take him down quickly and quietly. We can’t just go in guns blazing,” Luke said before releasing the grip he had on Spencer’s arm. He listened for a moment and motioned toward the back of the house, telling Spencer, “I hear two voices coming from that direction of the house. Let’s start there.”

When they got to the back of the house, your voice and a male’s voice could be heard from inside having a conversation about dinner and flowers. Luke’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he whispered to Spencer, “It doesn’t sound like she’s in danger…”

Spencer peered around the corner and risked a glance into a window, noticing how your eyes flicked in his direction before taking the conversation into the next room, making sure the man who was with you followed. So Spencer motioned for Luke to follow behind him and he noticed that this room was near a backdoor that the pair of them could use to get into the house if needed. 

That time came when, straining his ears to hear, Spencer heard you say, “Do you like literature? I think my favorite line is from Macbeth. Act one, scene five, lines 64-65.”

And with that, Spencer kicked in the door to the house and pointed his gun toward Hartley as he announced, “FBI, don’t move!” 

Luke came in shortly after Spencer, also with his gun raised as Hartley grabbed you around the waist and held the gun loosely near your head as he let out an almost maniacal laugh. When he took in the two men across the room from him, he shook his head and said, “How fitting that it’s you who came to her rescue? You two really had a connection the other night at the cafe and it made me realize that it was you this whole time! You’re the asshole who made her turn me down! You’re the reason my heart got shattered into a million pieces! It isn’t fair that someone can break a heart so easily! So she doesn’t deserve to live and neither do I because I destroyed all those families lives by killing their sons and daughters, mothers and fathers!”

“You don’t have to do this!” Luke warned the man sternly as he trained his gun on the man’s head. 

Spencer noticed Hartley’s loose grip on your waist and said your name to get your attention. Hartley warned him to shut up, but Spencer ignored him and instead locked his eyes with your terrified ones. A small reminiscent smile made its way onto his lips as he asked softly, “Remember what you told me your favorite movie was when we went on our first date?” You thought for a moment and then nodded almost frantically as Spencer said, “I want you to do the opposite of that for me, okay? Now!” 

And just as he planned, you dropped to your knees, allowing Spencer to get a clean shot on Hartley that took him down in an instant. The second that he went down, Spencer holstered his gun and ran to your side, sitting himself on the ground and against the wall as he pulled you into his chest to comfort you. While he did this, Luke kicked the gun away from Hartley’s hand and checked his pulse before quietly nodding to Spencer. 

“He’s gone, he can’t hurt anyone anymore,” Spencer whispered into your hair before kissing your head and letting you burrow into his embrace as you cried. “Breathe with me sweetheart, I’ve got you,” Spencer mumbled as he tried to calm you down, running a soothing hand up and down your back at the same pace as he wanted you to breathe. 

Minutes passed as Spencer attempted to calm you down and he was mildly successful, enough to get you out of the dining area and onto the back of the ambulance that arrived with the rest of the team. As Spencer hesitantly left your side in order to go locate any anxiety medications you may have in your medicine cabinet, Luke followed him and asked, “Dude, how did you know she was in danger?”

As Spencer pulled out a bottle and read the label, he told Luke, “Act one, scene five, lines 64-65 of Macbeth says ‘Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't.’ That was her way of saying that what looked like an innocent conversation between partners was actually a dangerous situation.” A huff of a laugh left his lips before he added, “She studied Shakespeare for fun in college and would analyze his work with me when we were together. Don’t try and get into a debate with that woman about Shakespeare, you’ll lose every time.”

“Wow… You two must have been a force when you were both at the BAU,” Luke mumbled, seemingly in awe of how easily the pair of you were able to communicate without giving anything away. 

“Hotch thought that we could somehow read each other’s minds sometimes,” Spencer confirmed with a quiet laugh as he pulled the right bottle from the shelf. 

“So what was the movie?” Luke asked curiously as he followed Spencer through the house once more, weaving through the BAU team members and your officers who were investigating the scene. 

“Up,” he replied. “I told her to do the opposite so she went down.” Luke chuckled in response before being whisked away by Emily to recount his version of what happened while Spencer went back to the ambulance to give you your anxiolytic to help you calm down. 

The next morning came after a sleepless night pacing a motel room that the sheriff had booked for you so your house could be processed and cleaned up after the events of Hartley’s takedown. When you drove up to the station there was a decent sized crowd near the door, presumably to get a sneak peek as to what happened at your house the night before. A light knock on your window made you jump and clutch at your heart as you looked over your left shoulder to see Spencer there with a small smile on his face. 

“Want some company to head inside?” he asked as he offered you a hand to help you out of the vehicle. 

“Stay close?” you asked quietly, afraid that perhaps the people in that crowd had already figured out that you were in fact the target of Hartley’s killing spree and were there because they wanted you gone… 

“Of course,” Spencer replied as he hooked your arm in his and the two of you made your way through the crowd and to the front door, ignoring all of the questions being thrown your way. 

When you got inside, you almost breathed a sigh of relief before you were approached by Tara and Emily who told you once more that they would need you in the interrogation room, but this time for an actual questioning. At the request your body stiffened as you realized that you would have to relive the situation again and without missing a beat, Spencer said, “As long as I can be in there with her.”

“Spence, you know that-” Emily started but was interrupted by Tara. 

“Let him,” she told Emily with a shake of her head. “As long as Reid doesn’t say anything to her it won’t matter if he’s in there or not, but if she needs his presence for comfort we at least should allow that.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, your muscles relaxing the slightest bit as you and Spencer began following the pair to the interrogation room. 

Once inside the cold space, you pulled your cardigan close and made sure that Spencer’s hand was held in yours before you nodded to signal that you were okay to begin. “So can you tell me what happened yesterday from your point of view?” Emily asked. 

“I left the station to clear my head after being informed that another couple had been found dead. I grabbed a few groceries and headed to my home where inside I found Hartley Rivers standing in the kitchen of my previously locked house,” you told her quietly, your voice wobbly as you spoke. 

“Did he do or say anything when you got there?” Tara asked. 

“He was…oddly calm at first. Asked what I got from the store and said that I should make the two of us a meal. Said that it was the least I could do for him after all the work he’d been doing lately,” you replied. 

“Did he elaborate on that statement?” Emily asked. 

“Not at first,” you said, “but I got him talking and he confessed to staging all of the murder-suicides in the last few months. He…he said…he said…” you trailed off as your breathing began to pick up and your leg began to bounce anxiously. 

“Take your time,” Tara said. 

“He said it was my fault…” you whispered. “He said that if I just didn’t reject him then all of those people would be alive…” The grip Spencer had on your hand tightened the slightest bit and it brought your turbulent thoughts to that feeling alone and you used it to ground yourself back to reality before clearing your throat and adding, “He told me that I was the loss of his life and that I didn’t deserve to live for what I did and neither did he. But he thought that if he got my attention in a way that wasn’t romantic gestures it would get the point across better…”

“So you're saying that he confessed to orchestrating the killings?” Emily asked. 

You nodded. “Yes. He didn’t tell me where, but…”

“Then what happened?” Tara asked gently when you didn't elaborate more. 

“I…I saw Spencer sneaking around outside so I brought the conversation to a room near an outside door and informed him that I was in danger by referencing a line from Macbeth,” you said, which earned a small smile from Emily. “When Luke and Spencer got in, Hartley grabbed me and held me at gunpoint. From there things get fuzzy because I was so scared. All I remember is Spencer asking me something so I took a knee and heard a gunshot and Hartley let go of me. I thought I got shot until I felt Spencer pull me into his lap and then my anxiety got the better of me…”

“Thank you, you did well,” Tara informed you, standing up and coming around the table to give you a squeeze on the shoulder. 

“We’ll get all of that into the right hands and then we’ll have to be on our way soon,” Emily said hesitantly as she made her way to the door. 

“I’d like to stay behind for another day or two. I’ll use vacation days,” Spencer told her immediately. “I can book myself a flight back to Virginia and do my paperwork on the way.” Emily opened her mouth for a moment and then closed it, simply nodding in response before making her way out of the room with Tara behind her. 

“You didn’t have to do that, Spence…” you whispered. 

“No, but I wanted to. I need to make sure you’re okay at least through the hardest part of this,” he informed you as he helped you stand up on your unsteady legs to leave the room. 

“Thank you,” you told him graciously, turning into him and throwing your arms around his frame in a tight embrace. 

“Of course,” he told you, the smile evident in his voice. 

After a few moments, you took a deep breath and said, “I need to make an announcement, would you mind staying with me for it?”

“I don’t mind,” he replied, following you out into the main office area where the BAU team and your officers were milling around filing away papers. 

You cleared your throat and said just loud enough to be heard over the noise, “I have an announcement I’d like to make.” When all eyes were on you, you took a deep breath and said, “I would like to thank everyone for their work on this case, both my locals and the BAU team. You all worked long and hard hours to close this case and I am very appreciative of that. Unfortunately before we could solve it, twelve people died in this town at the hands of Hartley Rivers under my watch. So with that being said I’m announcing that I will be stepping down from my position as Captain of the police division here. I made a promise to serve and protect the people of this town and after the events of this case I feel like I failed at that because I couldn’t solve it sooner and because I was the reason Hartley felt the need to do what he did. It’s been an honor to serve this town while I did, but it wouldn’t be right to continue on from here. Thank you.”

There was a stunned silence that filled the room and you quickly ducked your head and started toward your office after making eye contact with the sheriff who gave you a nod and a sad smile in response. When you got there, you grabbed a box and began slowly placing your belongings inside when you heard footsteps enter the room. “So you’re really going?” Josh asked quietly, his sadness evident in his voice. 

You nodded, which earned a sigh from Lindsey and her saying, “Man this sucks…”

“I know but… I feel like I failed this town. And once word gets out about what happened, I would be driven out of the position and the town anyway and I’d rather end it on my terms.”

The two agreed and began helping you pack up your belongings while reminiscing on some of the better days in this office. Once you seemed to run out of things to talk about, Josh asked with a smirk evident in his voice, “So…you and agent Reid huh?”

“Doctor Reid,” you informed him sternly with a quiet laugh escaping your lips. “He didn’t earn three PhDs for nothing.”

“So you’re into the smart ones,” Lindsey said teasingly as she landed an elbow into your ribs lightly. 

“I suppose so,” you said as you looked up and saw Spencer himself in the doorway. The four of you made quick work of packing up your office and before you knew it, you were being escorted out to your vehicle with Spencer’s protective arm around you as you made your way through the crowd of people who still thankfully didn’t know the truth behind everything yet. 

When you and Spencer got to your house, he helped you unload the boxes of your office items and then sat beside you on the couch after you put on a quiet instrumental record to keep there from being a deafening silence in the room. You couldn’t help your mind from wandering back to the events of not only yesterday, but of the last five months. As you did, a roaring filled your ears that was interrupted by Spencer’s voice as he asked, “Hey, what’s on your mind?”

“Too much,” you replied quietly. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really, but…” You sighed and in defeat relented, saying, “I guess it’s best if I do.”

“It is. And I’m right here with you,” he told you as he tentatively scooched closer on the couch and put his arm around you. Your muscles relaxed as he did this and the flood gates opened once more as you burrowed into Spencer’s side.

“I just feel like such a screw up… Twelve people with lives and families and dreams for the future are all dead because of me…” you whispered, trying to muffle the sob that escaped at the end of your statement. 

Spencer ran his hand up and down your arm for a moment before quietly asking, “If it were anyone else in your position what would you tell them?”

“What?” you asked after a few seconds, pulling away for a moment to look up at Spencer with furrowed eyebrows. 

“As the victim advocate specialist that you are, what would you say to someone else in your position?” Spencer asked and you began to see his point. “Say it was Lindsey in the center of this instead of you? You wouldn’t tell her that those people died because of her would you?”

“No…” you whispered, sagging back into his embrace with a sigh. You were quiet for a moment before replying thoughtfully, “I would tell them that they can’t control other people’s actions and feelings. That they couldn’t have known that something so simple as rejecting someone could cause such disaster. That they shouldn’t have to live in fear of this happening again so they’ll go out and live their life and not seclude themselves. That even though in the heat of the moment if the families of the victims find out the reason behind the crime that it still isn’t their fault no matter what nasty things are said to them. I would remind them that they’re a victim in this too and they deserve treatment and counseling services just like the other victims’ families…”

Spencer leaned down and kissed the crown of your head before mumbling, “Exactly. So what is making you feel like you don’t deserve to hear those things too?”

“Because I was supposed to protect all of those people and I couldn’t do my job. They shouldn’t have died in the first place. Pair that with the fact that Hartley was doing this because of me and…it makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be handled gently after everything that happened,” you told him sadly. 

“I think that just proves that you should be given more grace than anyone in this situation,” Spencer says. 

“I just don’t feel like I’m deserving to be cared for after everything…” 

“Well I guess I’m just going to have to prove your anxiety wrong,” Spencer said and you could hear the smile in his voice as he pulled you impossibly closer in what seemed like an attempt to bring all of your broken pieces back together. 

Later that day after finally getting through all of your emotions about your now totally uprooted life and watching your comfort movie with Spencer, you started to feel a bit lighter. So as you made dinner for the two of you, you sang quietly to the music coming from your record player as Spencer helped where he could with the meal. While you were standing at the stovetop stirring the food, he came up behind you and gently wrapped his arms around your waist and swayed to the music playing. “I missed this…” he admitted quietly, his voice and body relaxed. 

“Me too,” you replied, a small smile on your face and tears prickling the backs of your eyes. 

You were afraid to ask Spencer what happened next after he left back to Virginia and you went…where? You still hadn’t decided what you wanted to do for work after you just resigned and where would that land you in the country? You weren’t sure how well- “Hey,” he said, squeezing you slightly to bring you back to reality. “You’re getting lost again.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you replied, going back to stirring the nearly complete stir fry. “I just have a lot on my mind still is all…”

“Like what?” he asked, stopping his swaying to focus on your conversation. 

“What do I do for work now? There’s no way I’ll get a job in any of the surrounding counties and I’m afraid of even getting into that position again because that is so much responsibility I don’t feel ready to handle again after what happened here…”

“Have you thought about coming back to the FBI?” Spencer asked. “I know that the BAU was a cause for a lot of stress on you, so maybe you could see if there are any victim advocate positions available in other departments? Or maybe go back to your SVU department?”

“I have enough in the bank to take a month or so off from work to sort things out mentally but… I think once I figure myself out again, being an advocate again would be rewarding and now that I have a unique perspective on things…” Maybe it was time to move back to Virginia…

“I think you would do great,” Spencer replied, releasing you from his arms before reaching for the plates you had been warming to place the food on. You still had a faraway look in your eyes, even you could tell, so you weren’t surprised when he asked, “What else is on your mind?”

You didn’t reply as you plated the food and made your way to the table, trying to figure out the best way to discuss the topic at hand. You couldn’t figure out a graceful way to ask, so you let out a heavy sigh as you gestured between yourself and Spencer and asked quietly, “Spence… What is this? What is going on between us right now? The hugs, the kisses, the comforting touches. Is it just because of the case? Is it because you feel bad for me?” Guilt at the last bit began to crawl its way up your spine and you felt your throat closing up slightly as you said, barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry I’m just scared right now…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he assured you, reaching over and grabbing your hand gently and rubbing comforting circles onto it with his thumb. Clearing his throat, Spencer admitted, “At first it was habitual. It felt like an instinct to comfort you because that’s what I did all those years, but…but then I realized that I didn’t just want to provide you with physical comfort. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to hold you until all of your fears and doubts went away. I just…I want you back.” At those last words, your eyes darted up to meet Spencer’s hopeful ones. A smile fell onto his face as he finished, “Please. I want you back in my life and if that can’t be as your boyfriend right now I understand that, but I just want to be in your life somehow. It took me a while to realize that I never stopped loving you and it took me seeing you to realize that if I want you back I need to fight for it and prove to you that taking me back won’t be a mistake.”

“Taking you back would never be a mistake,” you mumbled, a smile making its way onto your face as you scooted closer to Spencer on the dining table’s bench. 

“I’m glad to hear that,” Spencer whispered as his hand ghosted its way up your arm, landing on your cheek to hold you for a moment before asking, “May I kiss you?”

“Of course,” you replied with a slight nod before your lips were enveloped into the most tender kiss Spencer had ever given you. A feeling of warmth ran up your spine as you relaxed into the kiss, your hands wandering up to hook around the back of Spencer’s neck to pull him closer. 

All too soon, the kiss was over and Spencer pulled away to rest his forehead on yours before telling you, “I love you. And I never want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” you promised before leaning back in for another kiss, the stir fry going forgotten on the table as you lost yourself in Spencer’s love and affection. 

thank you for getting this far, I appreciate you for reading! Don't forget to like and comment! <3

[icyminghao]

bf!wonwoo thoughts

pairing: wonwoo x gn!reader genre: fluff word count: 0.47k warning(s): none

requested by @pepperonidk: bestie i need you to continue your revenge bedtime procrastination bf!seventeen thoughts and focus them onto dk josh or wonu 🙏🏼 i am on my knees 🧎🏻���♀️

thinking about bf!wonwoo who’s so soft for you, he’s literally the definition of partner privilege. he’d quite literally say yes to anything you ask of him because he’s just that whipped for you. you want to put stickers on his hair? go ahead, baby, his hair is yours. you want to do a duet with him at a karaoke session with the guys? he’s belting to the most heartbreaking songs with you immediately.

bf!wonwoo who would give you book recommendations so very often. he’d leave books around the house for you to read and leave cute little notes inside them for you to find, most of them being stuff like “this reminded me of you.” or “let’s go there one day.” that makes you swoon every single time you find them.

bf!wonwoo who would be so excited if you wanted to play video games with him. it doesn’t matter if you’re absolutely horrible at the game, he’d be your number one defender against toxic teammates and would totally carry you to victory every time. reserves the good loot for you to take first too (he’s so whipped)

bf!wonwoo who is so endeared by anything and everything you do. always has a lovesick smile plastered on his face whenever he looks at you. you could be embarassing yourself in front of everyone in the room and he’d still think you were the cutest person in the world. the members definitely notice, but they choose not to call him out for it (you make him brighter, after all)

bf!wonwoo who’s the most attentive listener even if he doesn’t seem like it sometimes. you tend to talk his ear off about anything that happens throughout your day, but what you didn’t expect was for him to actually be paying attention and remembering the little things you’d mentioned to him in passing. you talked about seeing escape rooms on tiktok and finding it cool? he’s immediately searching up the best escape rooms to try and taking you there as soon as he can, much to your surprise.

bf!wonwoo who has trouble opening up to people, but tries his best when it’s you. he’d talk about how much he loves you while you’re in his arms at night when he thinks you’re asleep. he doesn’t know you’re listening, and you don’t plan on telling him in case he stops. you make sure to do it back to him, though, and you definitely don’t miss the softest of smiles forming on his “sleeping” face every time you do it.

bf!wonwoo who thanks his lucky stars for being able to meet you and have the opportunity to love you every time. he’s so grateful to you for being there for him and for motivating him to be a better version of himself with each day that passes.

a/n: bye i am so incredibly soft for these it’s feeding into my delusions so much 😵‍💫😵‍💫

masterlist

[buntanteen]

svt fic recs list <3 - yjh, hjs & lee chan - sfw ver. 2

reader insert fics!! though, lots of these are ot13 writings, i am specifically recommending the jeonghan, joshua and dino sections!

✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩

note: trying to find pics where all three of them match in aesthetics is soooo much harder than i thought lmao. future rec lists might not picture all three members :,)

✩ yoon jeonghan ✩

❥ voicemails yoon jeonghan leaves you while he’s on tour - @babyleostuff

i love this concept soooo muchh

ofccc he'd be mopey and missing his s/o :((

voicemail #10?? bro, i just reached my 20s and my knees were cracking bEFORE then...

❥ love languages: yoon jeonghan - @cxffecoupx

words of affirmation??? hannie knows how to comfort so well

rahhh quality time? I LOVE QUALITY TIME!

"small acts of violence" LMAO

✩ hong joshua ✩

❥ seventeen as boyfriends: joshua edition - @fairyhaos

joshua truly radiates this sweet bright youthful love that is filled with fun and silly moments

ahhhh that last part made me tear up :(( its not always the activity that is fun, but the person/people that you are with :(((

❥ BOYFRIEND JOSHUA WHO… - @mangocustard16

pls make sure i drink water....i do not drink enough...

i used to like, not care for people serenading me until suga and joshua appeared in my life u don't have.

this dude is like, one of the ideal boyfriend types haha.

SHUT UP?? THE BUYING FLOWERS ON A TUESDAY BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN U MET STFU *cries into a pillow* THAT'S SO CUTE

✩ lee chan/dino ✩

❥ voicemails lee chan leaves you while he’s on tour - @babyleostuff

SHUT UP VOICEMAIL #5 IS SOOOOOOO CUTE DKFJNB

omg him leaving clothes for his s/o to wear :(((

i did a lil cackle at number 8 <3

oh number 9....baby...monopoly is ALWAYS an intense game

OH the last voicemail....stfu baby ofc i'd do that for you :((( WHY CAN I HEAR HIM SPEAKING SOFTLY HMPH :(( WHY AM I KINDA TEARING UP?

❥ seventeen as boyfriends: chan edition - @fairyhaos

oFC this lil guy is just filled with love and comfort and playfulness :((

hmmm idk chan....gose chan on my phone is pretttttty interesting

....LMAO THE "holding the world in my hands" I WOULD'VE JUST WALKED AWAY

✩ ot13 works (yjh, hjs & lee chan sections) ✩

❥ seventeen with an s/o who loves physical touch - @wheeboo

the lil jeonghan noises of approval would so help my overthinking mind. he just seems like such a fun partner to goof around a bit and feel so so soooo loved

the fucking ◠‿◠ shua smile actually obliterates me (i rewatched the first nana tour ep today and the amount of times he did his lil smile healed me so bad ahh) YES BACK HUGS GRRRR i'm a koala on his back

dino being competitive over affection??? BRO I WILL WINNN THIS >:(( just let me loooooovvveeeee youuuuuuus

❥ you saying another member's name in your sleep - @hannieehaee

sorrrryyyy jeonghannie but chan is cute too :((

NO I CAN IMAGINE THE PUPPY HEAD TILT WITH A QUESTION MARK FORMING ABOUT JOSH'S HEAD. YEET ME OFF A CLIFF SDFJKBV. i'm saying jeonghan's name cuz i like him too baby, sorry :(( yeahhh, take it up with hannie who didn't do anything heh

nAUR CHAN I'M SORRYYYY. mingyu is just my bestie, i like puppies :(( ur still one of my favs darling :((

❥ seventeen with a younger s/o - @wheeboo

forever being babied and teased by hannie yessssssssssssss hehehe *insert that blushing/bashful skunk from bambi gif* he's really a comforting person. when he spoke about being a rock/island for the members, he is SOOO that and i can very much so see him doing that for the people he loves

shuaaa. the idea of an older s/o that can take care of me? fuck yeah. but let me take care of you toooooo. (side note: i do not like when ppl older than me think i can't take care of them cuz i'm younger??? baby, i'm not tHAT much of a baby, hmph)

dinononononono "wow is that how you speak to your elder?" YES IT IS BRO WHADDAYA GOING TO DO IT ABOUT IT GRRRR >:((( but fr, the way he spoke to shua during the grape shirt/sticker going svt ep...i just know he'll use the power over a s/o (jokingly and lovingly ofc)

❥ svt when you call them a new pet name - @lovingseventeen

hannieee is soooooooo pretty boy hehe. pretty is my favourite visual adjective

joshua and reader having a pet name/term of endearment competition??? SIGN ME UP >:)

dino is jeonghan's and my baby~

✩ unit & lines works ✩

❥ comforting you after a bad day (vocal unit) - @gi4hao

how both shua and hannie handled reader's bad day is exactly how i need to be comforted after one :,) cuddles, venting, taking my mind off it with other activities & someone's presence is soooo nice!!

❥ dating seventeen (hyung line ver.) - @wqnwoos

no one escaping jeonghan's teasing ahhhhhhhhh. the leaning against reader?? i love when people initiate physical contact, it is sooo nice. the teasing and whining kjgfkjdb. taking care of and being taken care of?? i don't think i could ever ask jeonghan those s/o questions ppl ask because he'd take it so far and i'd just be like :| with the most concerned look on my face. being adored and having my face squished nyahhgfkdjb

joshieeee. flirting??? with me??? yes ames, this is a dating headcanon/drabble duh. WHEN I SAY I WOULD BE SO GENTLEMAN-LY BACK AT JOSH GRRRR LEMME OPEN UR DOOR FOR UUUU. yes baby, all the cheek kisses in the _world for u. YES LIL SPOON JOSHI AGENDA!!! THANK UUUU

❥ dating seventeen (maknae line ver.) - @wqnwoos

DINOOOOooooOOOOOOooOO :,) like, that's my baby. his enjoyment with being praised and MY enjoyement for giving praise works together beautifully muahhaha

mini message from me: thanks to y'all who have read this far and thank you for the notes on my last fic rec!! i hope your week went well and you were able to enjoy caratland!! did you do something to take care of yourself? ς(.-‿-)

ames' song recs: perriot that laughs at us by iu, dimple by bts, doughnut by twice, forg_tful (with kim sawol) by rm, slow dancing by v, ready to love by seventeen & who (acoustic remix) by jimin

taglist: no one yet, but if y'all would like to be on it, pls comment :))

[taylorkellysburneraccount]

Ignoring how fucking annoying specific parts of this fandom will be, yeah, this feels like everything involved was misaligned. Like, having Henren's story end in two-three episodes, continuing the series regular tradition of doing nothing with Josh if he isn't either taking up Maddie's role when she isn't there or being her gay bestie, making every scene with Eddie about how straight he is, and now doing the most out of nowhere break up for the only other main queer couple since Michael's actor torpedoed the last one.

I think, we might have to come to terms with the fact that...this is getting to be glee levels of bad. The shout out was a warning, we are about to get terrible plot lines from the worst parts of fandom because everyone involved were not ready for the actual implications of making a bisexual main.

And the way Oliver talks about bisexuality, I am sorry I know he's like your fave but as a bisexual man it sounds like he has never talked to a bisexual once in his life. I genuinely am kinda grossed out with the way he talked about Buck needing to immediately have a sex montage but ~gay~ now that he's bisexual. Like, that's all you can think to do with his character? Are you 15, you are a grown man Oliver maybe Josh should've given a gay speech to YOU.

That's probably the most disappointing thing, because it feels like they genuinely don't even want to do Buddie, so this breakup won't even satisfy the weirdos who went full homophobe to defend a ship that wasn't even under attack.

Like at least Glee had in universe reasons to do things, they took place in a school so adding replacements to avoid cutting out the school sets they had while splitting the run time with the now graduated cast members made sense no matter how poor the execution. It genuinely feels like the writers took the first thing they saw in the tags, and went "lets actually give NO PAY OFF."

Also is it just me or was Maddie written weird as fuck in the josh and buck scene. The "turning men gay" joke about Abby came out of nowhere and kinda uncomfortably so?

[jessaerys]

the word father rotted in my mouth: i. tom stoppard, rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. ii. nurnehpetsnur iii. anne carson, plainwater: essays and poetry iv. see notes. v. see notes. vi. genesis 4:9 vii. anaïs nin, winter of artifice viii. see notes. ix. slider.xxxxxxxx x. josh alex baker, death wish. xi. see notes. xii. eric larocca, things have gotten worse since we last spoke xiii. death note, c-kira one-shot. xiv. leah horlick, for your own good, xv. death note manga, L's death, mello's death. xvi. ocean vuong, someday i'll love, xvii. woyaocharlie xviii. death note short stories, a-kira one-shot. xix. anna belle kaufman, cold solace.

notes under the cut.

*iv. artist notoriously hard to track, there's several images on pinterest that are clearly the same style, tried with all of them and they all seem to come from a long deleted 2008 photobucket folder.

v. & viii. the oldest source seems to be long-deleted posts from this blog, which were re-posts.

xi. this is the only source i can find but i don't think it leads to the artist ): please hmu if you have any leads about all of these.

part of the mine and the bestie’s delusional headcanon that near and mello (& matt) did have somewhat of a mentor/mentee relationship with L (fuck them other kids….) whom although genuinely fond of them was a willing participant in the amoral watari industrial complex (did he care to be succeeded? did he find it amusing or an interesting long term project? were the tests and mindfuckery and hot/cold unpredictable behavior and purposeful sowing of a rivalry between them the only model of family and mentorship he knew and was capable of? did he ever really love them? will they ever know? etc etc etc.)

i’m handwaving away the “we only talked to L once” story as skillfully edited by near because 1. he loves to lie and 2. his complicated relationship with L and subsequent grief AND resentment is still wrapped in seventeen thousand layers of emotional repression and who wants to get into that. 3. also makes mello’s comments in LABB about not caring if near is hurt that he knows more about L than near does way funnier. sibling behavior

anyway the both of them have a brotherfatherhero complex the size of TEXAS but thankfully they can sublimate that in the bedroom through creative kinky means. i know the usual "don't ship them!" rethoric is that they're foster brothers but unfortunately that just makes them a billion times more compelling. to me

[yeoosaangg]

៹ HALF OF MY HEART || KINKTOBER ─ Day 24

➛ PAIRING:: JEONG JAEHYUN × FEM!READER

➛ NOW PLAYING:: HALF OF MY HEART — JOSH MAKAZO

⤷ ❝KNOW YOU STILL HAVE THINGS TO SAY. IT'S DIFFERENT SINCE I BROKE US APART.❞

➛ GENRE:: COLLEGE!AU, EXES TO LOVERS, SMUT

➛ WARNINGS:: PERIOD SEX, CAR SEX, FINGERING, JOCK!JAEHYUN, MARKING, PRAISE, MENTIONS OF BLOOD (OBVIOUSLY)

── ⋆ ⋆ ── 𔘓 ── ⋆ ⋆ ──

You go to the skate park late at night to think.

It helps when you've got a lot on your mind and need to unwind, but you couldn't do that tonight.

A bunch of frat boys came together to throw a party, one you were invited to. It may not be your usual night out, but at least it was different.

Now alcohol can be your escape from a broken heart.

Kevin: Hey, you made it!

Y/n: I'm usually here skating on a regular night.

Kevin: Saved you a seat, right here

You roll your eyes as he pats his lap. You look around and see that there truly was no more space to sit and just take his offer.

Y/n: So, did I miss anything?

Kevin: Nah. Just a few guys on the football team having a chugging contest.

Y/n: Mmm, boring.

Kevin: It was.

You scan the park just to have something to do, but it proves to be a mistake when you spot your ex-boyfriend making out with one of the cheerleaders.

That hurts.

Kevin: Where'd your mind go just now?

Y/n: Saw Jaehyun playing tonsil hockey with captain preppy.

Kevin: Brutal. Need me to kick his ass?

Y/n: Nah. He'd squash you like a bug and I happen to love my best friend.

Kevin: I hate when you're right.

You guys laugh and you get up to grab a closed bottle of beer. When you come back, Kevin notices your ex staring at you two.

Kevin: He's looking.

Y/n: Don't care.

Kevin: He looks like he wants to kill me.

You roll your eyes and position yourself so you're straddling Kevin. He doesn't react, just holds your exposed hips so you don't fall back.

Y/n: You think from this angle it'll look like we're kissing?

Kevin: Yeah, why?

You put your thumb on his lips before kissing your nail, pressing your forehead against his. Kevin wraps his arm around you to make it look like he's pulling you in deeper.

You pull away and smile at him, a silent thank you for going along with your plan.

Kevin: He's coming over here.

Y/n: Don't lie to me, Moon.

So much for not caring.

Kevin: Just turn around.

You do and feel your heart drop as he strides over to you.

Y/n: Shit, gotta go.

Kevin: Have fun, bestie! Use protection!

You flip him off and hurriedly make your way towards the parking lot. Maybe you'll get home quicker if you run.

Jaehyun: Y/n! Wait up!

Why does he sound like he's right behind you?

You make a noise of surprise when he grabs your arm and turns you to face him.

Y/n: Oh, hey.

Jaehyun: Hey. Did you not hear me?

Y/n: Nope, sorry.

Lie.

Jaehyun: Can we talk?

Y/n: I don't think that's a good idea.

Jaehyun: Please? I swear I'll leave you alone after, if that's what you want.

You sigh.

He was using those stupid eyes of his. The ones where they get all soft and kind.

He still knows how to make you weak.

Y/n: Fine.

He smiles and guides you to his car with a hand on the small of your back. You feel his warm fingers curl around your waist, almost like he's afraid you'll run.

You curse yourself for wearing a crop top.

He opens the passenger door and you reluctantly get in.

There was an awkward silence when he gets in, locking the car doors. It was only for privacy reasons.

Jaehyun: I hate how we left things.

Y/n: How you left things.

He takes a deep breath and nods.

Jaehyun: I never wanted to hurt you.

Y/n: But you did.

He broke things off two months ago because he "needed to be with someone that matches his popularity", hence the bimbo he was making out with.

Jaehyun: It's just- I got lost in the glory of being the quarterback, that I became a different person. I let go of the one person who means the most to me because of it.

Stupid excuse.

Y/n: I get it, Jae. I'm not popular enough for you. I'm not drop-dead gorgeous enough for your new friends. But you didn't have to insult me when you broke things off. That was just cruel on your part.

He understands that.

He messed up so bad and it cost him the love of his life.

Jaehyun: You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met. That is a fact no one will ever get to prove wrong. My heart will always belong to you.

Oh.

He still has feelings for you?

Jaehyun: If you can give me another chance, I swear I'll do right by you.

Y/n: Don't you have a girlfriend?

Jaehyun: No.

Y/n: Then why were you making out with the head cheerleader? Thought she was your arm candy.

Jaehyun: I never made it official with her. Just let her kiss me in public, but nothing other than that.

Hm.

Jaehyun: What about you? Are you and Kevin Moon dating?

Y/n: Nah, I was just feeling petty. Kiss was fake; he'd launch me off of him if it was real.

Jaehyun: Now that sounds like him.

You both laugh, comfortable silence surrounding the once tense atmosphere.

It feels warm and familiar.

Jaehyun: Can I- Can I kiss you?

You nod, leaning in to meet his lips halfway.

You climb over and straddle his lap while he puts his seat all the way back. His hands roam your entire body, tongue exploring your mouth all over again.

You feel him getting ready to slide his hand into the waistband of your panties when you stop him.

Jaehyun: What's wrong?

Y/n: Nothing, I just remembered something.

Jaehyun: What is it?

You feel embarrassed to say this out loud. You're hot and bothered, but can't do anything about it because-

Y/n: I'm on my period.

He begins to laugh and kiss the skin underneath your jaw.

Y/n: It's not funny!

Jaehyun: It's kinda funny, baby.

You whine, hiding your face in his chest.

He wraps his arms around you and kisses the crown of your head.

Jaehyun: It's funny because you think a little blood's gonna stop me from fucking you.

Huh?!?

You yelp when his hand slips inside your panties and his middle finger circles your clit. You moan very loudly from not having been touched since he left you.

Jaehyun: Careful, baby. Wouldn't want anyone to hear your pretty sounds.

Y/n: Don't give a fuck.

You kiss him as his fingers get covered in a mix of your arousal and blood. Your pad gets scrunched the more his knuckles disappear in your cunt.

You sit up and take your top off, revealing you perky tits.

Jaehyun: No bra? What if you accidentally flashed everyone at the party?

Y/n: It is what it is.

He chuckles, helping you steady yourself as you get completely naked.

He lowers his jeans down enough so his cock springs free. He was hard and leaking, just how you like him.

You align yourself with his tip and slam down on his cock. He moans as you bounce without adjusting.

You were too horny and impatient to give a fuck about anything right now.

Y/n: Hated seeing you with that stupid, blonde airhead. Wanted to beat her ass everytime she passed me on campus.

Jaehyun: Aww, you didn't like how close she was to me? Then fucking mark me so she knows who I belong to.

You don't even have to be told twice. Your mouth litters multiple red hickeys all over his neck and chest.

God, he bruises so easily, it makes you needier.

You look so ruined already, but he wants to break you. Have you reduced to a drooling and whimpering mutt for him like he always does.

But not tonight.

Tonight is about getting you back and doing everything he can to show you he means what he says. He's going to love you despite what others say.

You're worth it.

He gasps when your teeth scratch against his jugular, lightly sucking on the skin there.

Y/n: I'm gonna cum.

He watches you bounce on his cock, tits matching the rhythm as you squirt all over him - you probably got blood all over him, too.

You get tired, so he slams his hips into you as the top of your ass hits the bottom of the steering wheel. Lucky it wasn't the horn, right?

Y/n: Want more. Please give me more.

Jaehyun: Such a good girl. Always taking what I give you and begging for more, not satisfied until everyone at this fucking party can see how thoroughly mine you are.

You scream as the tip of his cock hits your g-spot. It was a delicious repetitive motion that has you shaking in your ex-boyfriend's arms.

You press your chest against his, mouth attacking his neck as you meet his thrusts.

He tries to pull you off his neck by your hair, but you growl at him - mouth leaving him for only a moment to push his hand off before devouring him again.

His hands leaves bruises on your hips at how hot that was of you. Being on your period makes you even hornier than a bitch in heat.

Jaehyun: You’re my little whore, aren’t you?

You growl again, biting on his shoulder before nodding to his question.

Y/n: Only yours.

He picks up his pace, causing you to grip onto the handle above your head to steady yourself. His cock rams into you so rough, you're drooling and whimpering - just like he wanted.

Oops!

Both of you cum at the same time, not caring who hears you anymore. You just care about each other.

You bury your face in his neck trying to catch your breath. He leans back and massages your body to help soothe the shaking.

Y/n: I've missed you a lot.

He smiles, kissing your temple.

Jaehyun: Please give me another chance, Y/n. I can give you everything you need and want. Just give me one month and I swear I'll embed myself so far in you, you won't be able to breathe without me.

You giggle, resting your chin on his chest.

Y/n: Okay. But only one chance. If you blow it, you'll never see me again.

Jaehyun: Thank you, baby. I promise I'll treat you right.

He shifts a little and you whine. His cock was still inside you.

Y/n: Can we leave to get cleaned up? Cum mixed with blood isn't a pretty sight.

He laughs with his entire chest, kissing your lips with a huge grin.

Jaehyun: 'Course we can.

═══

a/n: get me away from pinterest prompts. this ain't good for my sanity. thanks for reading ‹𝟹

[eddiediazismyhusband]

random 911 headcanons that ive had over the years for no specific reason

eddie turns into a literal man-baby when he catches a cold; i’m talking full on cannot take care of himself, gets super pouty and wraps himself up in a heavy blanket

buck watches drag race religiously, but has never told anyone because he doesn’t want people to think he’s weird….. even though half his found family are gay

eddie is still in a dispatch gc with maddie, may, linda, and josh and its mostly just josh and eddie being bitchy back and forth to each other

hen is secretly afraid of spiders but doesn’t want anyone to know- karen pranks her with fake spiders regularly

karen and eddie are besties and talk about buck and hen to each other— eddie ofc not realizing that he’s in move with buck, but karen absolutely tells hen all about it

buck has bought copies of all of chris’s school pictures and keeps them in his wallet

chimney and maddie are bi4bi….. i wont be explaining any further

chris keeps a picture of him and buck from the pier inside his wallet/phone case and no one knows he’s kept it all these years

maddie, josh, may, and linda have a separate dispatch groupchat where they talk about how clueless eddie is about his feelings towards buck

chimney is a closet jane austen fan after maddie got him hooked on pride and prejudice

+ to the last one, maddie is a 1995 BBC Miniseries fan

eddie is the oldest diaz child (kinda not hc tho bc it’s implied but whatever)

eddie cried over the early 2000s rom-coms that his sisters made him watch when they were younger but would never admit it (his favorite is 10 Things I Hate About You)

one of buck’s favorite movies is the devil wears prada (shoutout to tracie 💕)

maddie was a theater kid in high school and still listens to showtunes a lot

jee yun calls eddie uncle eddie and calls hen and karen auntie hen and auntie karen

buck and maddie went to the era’s tour together

[cowpokeomens]

BESTIE!!!

That thick thighs thing got me thinking……

Noah for SURE has a size kink me thinks???

If you’re short AND have nice thighs…. Game OVER.

Yeah see

The really lovely thing abt josh is that no matter how tall you are. You’re still shorter than him. He has a solid [redacted] inches on me but like, even if you were 6 ft tall. He’s taller. And I definitely think it’s given him a bit of a complex :-/ he thinks you’re just so little and cute. Likes setting you on his lap, likes hiding things from you on the top shelf, likes holding your ankles together with one hand while folding you in half :-/ looooooves being able to see your pretty thighs all squished together while also being able to see your pretty cunt all bare for him :-/ I think if you were foolish enough to wear thigh-high socks around him, just tight enough that your thighs spill out of the top ever so slightly, he’s going full apeshit feral sicko mode :-/ when you sit down and your thighs pancake out? He’s tearing the stuffing out of the pillows with his bare teeth like a rabid dog :-/ thinks it’s cute that you’re so little compared to him that he can use you like a fuck toy, just holds you in place while he fucks you :-/ likes how your tits look in his hand, like regardless of size! He can hold em! I know we’re talking abt thighs but I also wanna throw in there that Noah does not discriminate against titties! He loves jugs, he loves mosquito bites, it does not matter! He’s a realist too like he’s not expecting you to have crazy perky boobs if you’re above like an A cup, knows that nipples don’t usually stick out at a 90 degree angle, really just here to appreciate how they move as he fucks you :-/ definitely a tit slapper :-/ I need to stop

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 17

I KNOW I SAID I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WRITE NEXT BUT I WENT BACK AND RE-READ MY FIRST VERSION AND I'M INSPIRED LOL... 🙃

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

All OC Characters belong to me

Series Masterlist

taglist: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @jeyusosgirl

@melaninsugababy @bemybabiibish @jstarr86 @baconeggndcheez @nbanenefrmdao

@purplehairgawdess @theninthwonder @arination99 @m3llowww @alyyaanna

@harmshake @jeysbae @empressdede @badbitchcentralinc @bluesole16

@leaderofthebadbitchbrigade @bonni-98 @raya-hunter01 @abadbitchblogs

5 months later...

July 16th 2021

Airielle glared over at where Josh was standing talking to the rookie that just got called up from NXT. Y’all are not together anymore. He can talk to who he wants, she thought. She looked over at Trinity when she sat down. Airielle rolled her eyes at the smirk on Trin’s face. 

“What Trin?” She said with more attitude than necessary. She had to real reason to be upset though. She had broken up with Josh and he was allowed to date freely now. Just thinking about him dating someone else had her left eye twitching. 

“Damn girl. I’m sorry.” Trin laughed and looked over to where Airielle was glaring at. “I’m still so confused. Not even five months ago, y’all were happy as hell.” 

“Yeah well,” she shrugged. “Things change” Was all she said as  she looked back over in Josh’s direction. She arched an eyebrow at him when they made eye contact and scoffed when he smirked and winked at her. He said one last thing to the rookie before making his way over to where Airielle and Trin were sitting. 

“Sup Trin. He said as he sat down. “Airielle.” Airielle rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse, pretending to look for something. Trinity rolled her eyes, tired of the two of them already, 

“Anyway. Samantha wants to have a girls night tonight, you in?” She asked Airielle. 

“I can’t. I have a date tonight.” Airielle said, looking at Josh out of the corner of her eye. 

“What? With who?” Josh asked, turning his attention to Airielle. He clenched his jaw when she smirked over at him. 

“Why, Jealous?” She asked, chuckling when he glared at her. “I have to go film my Total Divas introduction. I’ll catch up with you later.” She said to Trinity as she stood up from the table and walked away. 

“It’s been five months, what the hell happened between y’all. Y’all were so in love.” 

“Still am,” Josh said as he turned his head in the direction Airielle had gone off to. 

AIRIELLEJONES

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trinity_fatu: orange is your color bestie (❤️ by author)

loveyara: cute 😊

“Why you aint tell me you could bowl like that?” Airielle shrugged and let out a laugh as Raymond pushed her a little. “Girl you hustled me out of fifty dollars.” 

“Why you ain’t tell me you sucked at bowling?” She teased back. “I ain’t never seen so many gutter balls in my life.” She said as they walked off the elevator of the hotel and started walking towards her floor. 

“Well shit. Aint nobody tell you so look so good tonight.” Raymond said as he checked out Airielle. She rolled her eyes playfully then froze at the sight of Josh leaning against the wall next to her room door, he had his head turned and was staring straight at them. 

She watched as he narrowed his eyes once they fell on Airielle and Raymond linked hands. 

“What are you doin’?” He asked her confused, eyes still trained on their hands. Airielle sighed and let go of Raymond's hand and folded her arms over her chest. 

“What are you doing out here?” 

“What are you doing?” He asked again, ignoring her question. Raymond looked between the two of them. 

“Imma just go.” He said, scoffing when Airielle wouldn’t break her staring contest with Josh. 

“You said we was moving too fast and you needed time to heal yourself.” He pointed in the direction Raymond had gone off to. “Going on a date with another man ain’t healing yourself Airielle.” 

Airielle sighed and unlocked her hotel door with the key card and held the door open for Josh to enter. 

“So what you was gon fuck him tonight then text me telling me how much you miss me?” Airielle scoffed as she sat on the bed to take her heels off. 

“First off, it wasn’t actually a date other people were there too and I do miss you Josh.” Josh let out a sigh and crossed the room, crouching down in front of her so they were eye to eye with each other. 

“So what are we doing then?” Airielle shrugged and let out a groan, throwing herself back on the bed, covering her face with her hands.  “You was there for me when I was going through all the shit with Tracy, why won't you let me be there for you now?”  Josh sighed when he heard Airielle sniffle. He grabbed one of her arms and pulled her back into a seated position. 

“I can’t do this right now.” She whispered, tears sliding down her face. “I love you, I really do but.” She sighed  “You have to give me time.. I want to be the best version of myself for you.” 

“Fine.” Josh nodded, giving her a kiss on her forehead before standing up and walking towards the door. He opened it and turned back around. “Don’t let me catch you with homeboy again Airielle.” He blew her a kiss before walking out of the room.

soooo.... how we feeling about this chapter?

I tried to just make chapter 16 the last chapter, but I just love this couple so much lol.

[c0rvidfagg0try]

Favorite pairings (romantic or platonic) in the show that ARENT Buddie:

Buck & Hen (Big sister/little brother, i need them to have more screen time)

Buck & Chim (Deeply underrated, Brother-in-laws)

Hen & Chim (BESTIES & SIBLINGS‼️‼️‼️)

Hen & Athena (Wine Moms Gossip Night fr fr)

Maddie & Josh (BESTIES, so funny, so sassy)

Josh & Chim (under explored dynamic)

Buck & May (also underexplored, step-siblings)

BOBBY & MICHAEL (PLZ ONE OF MY FAVORITE DUOS THEY R SO FUNNY TOGETHER)

Eddie & Hen (theyre so underexplored??? Eddies relationship w/ the team except Buck feels so underexplored but thats besides the point, i think these 2 should have gay little bitch fests together)

Eddie & Josh (theyre so funny i wish we saw more of eddie & the dispatch team in general)

Eddie & May (follow up from prev, she feels like he little cousin or smthn)

Maddie & Eddie (also criminally underexplored i feel like theyd be so funny together)

Karen & Eddie (in my heart they r friends)

Ravi & Everyone basically (I love him, he deserves more screen time PLEASEEE)

Albert & Buck (they r hilarious together)

Albert & Chimney (i love seeing siblings rebuild their relationship)

HEN & HER MOM TONI‼️‼️‼️ (i love toni she really grew on me)

Taylor & Buck (BUT AS FRIENDS!!! REALLY LIKED THEM AS FRIENDS THEY WERE FUNNY)

Buck & Athena (THATS HIS MOM‼️‼️‼️)

BOBBY & MAY (& Harry) (THATS THEIR STEPDAD!!! THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH PLZ I WANT MORE)

Maddie & May (i am a big big fan of may i want her and maddie to be sisters)

May & Josh (dispatch team go brrr i think hes like her gay uncle in my heart)

BUCK & JEE-YUN (uncle buck has my heart)

Hen & Karen (theyre such a good couple theyre so healthy and have worked so hard on their relationship its impossible not to love them)

Bobby & Athena (i adore them, they r the sweetest couple, i love the fact that theyre older but theyre still flirting and having sex and just being in love with each other, theyre so good for each other)

MADDIE & CHIMNEY (my favorite ship on the show, they have done SO much work to be together and love each other so so much, they are soulmates, they choose each other every day, they r silly, they show their love to each other so obviously and r so devoted to each other, im obsessed with them im so excited for their wedding)

[makorragal-312]

Why the BuckTommy break-up fell flat narratively...

Disclaimer: I am not defending this ship. I hate it and I'm glad it's dead.

1. Prior to the break-up, he made a jab at Abby for dating a guy half her age and riding Buck off as "a himbo." Even though he's literally doing the same exact thing.

That, kids, is what we call "hypocrisy."

2. Tommy said that he "knows how the relationship ends."

Sir, if you know how it ends, why did you go for it in the first place? This just gives off that he was only dating Buck either for a good time or because Eddie wasn't showing any signs of interest, so he just settled for his bestie.

3. Tommy tries to pawn off the catalyst of the relationship ending on Buck, saying that he would "break his heart."

Even though HE was the one doing all the heart-breaking shit to BUCK throughout the entire goddamn relationship.

4. Josh's dumbass advice.

Okay, that's not fair. Josh's advice wasn't dumb per-say, but it was completely irrelevant to Buck's issue. I know that he probably doesn't really know who Tommy is, but making him sound like he was this gay pioneer who led the charge at Stonewall and that his scars should be respected?

Absolute nope.

It ended up making Buck's move-in proposal feel like he was doing it out of obligation because Tommy's been out longer than he has, so why shouldn't he ask him to move in with him?

And on that topic...

5. The return of the hamster wheel

You would think that after dumping Taylor the way he did, Buck would remember that he doesn't necessarily have to hold on to relationships that aren't working and he can just cut it loose, right?

Wrong.

Instead, they have Buck actually take Josh's advice and pull a Taylor 2.0 by asking Tommy to move in with him. This show continues to leave Buck on that fucking hamster wheel instead of letting him get off and it's working my nerve. Even if this was just the show's way of showing that Buck's toxic relationship tendencies don't change because he's with someone of the same sex, it's still redundant and annoying.

6. Buck.

The first and only time Tommy chooses to refer to Buck by his preferred name is when he's dropping him like a baked potato.

And the show never even gave Buck the chance to tell him off about it.

The fucking audacity.

And finally,

7. TOMMY KINARD HIMSELF

This whole scene, the narrative tries to paint Tommy out to be this sympathetic character all throughout, making him look all sad and talking about how "he knew the parking spot was too good to be true" and citing Buck to be the one who would break his heart.

Despite the fact that he literally broke Buck's again just seconds ago.

I'll never understand why the show decided to take this route with Tommy's character for the episode even though in past episodes, he's been canonically depicted to be insensitive at best and flat out bigoted at worse. And throughout the entirety of his and Buck's relationship, he has said and done things that have hurt Buck and he never even apologized for it. And if he did apologize, he gave a lame apology as to why he did do.

*cough* first date *cough cough*

And it definitely doesn't help matters that the show made the active choice not to bring up his past actions within the relationship or for Buck to even know about it. Instead, they made Abby the catalyst for the break up when it could've been Tommy himself being the catalyst.

Obviously, there were a million ways the show could've given the BuckTommy break-up a major impact and there were definitely ways they could've made the break-up solid with the Abby revelation.

All in all, the break-up could've been executed better, but at least the ship is dead.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 23

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Em gets a little jealous when Y/N catches the attention of a new beat maker he works with.

Tags : Angst, Comfort, Fluff, Smut (P in V, oral)

Y/N’s POV 

Telling Talia the truth about your relationship with Marshall definitely made your life easier. As it was to be expected, she told Jamal, but the two of them actually promised to keep it a secret from everyone else. You spent a lot of your time at Marshall’s but, on occasions, he would spend the night at your place too, and the four of you would hang out. You would spend as much time as possible with your boyfriend, even though the two of you were drowning in work, you with uni, him at the studio. However, you made it work. You spent every night together, except for one night a week. He usually had his family over for brunch on Sundays, so he would sleep alone at his place on Saturday night. The rest of the time, though, you had a little routine. Whether it was at his place or yours, both of you left stuff at each other’s house. By usual relationship standards, it was moving pretty fast, but it felt right for the two of you. After all, before even getting together, you were hanging out all the time so it wasn’t like you were just getting to know each other. 

At that point, you had been together for about two months and your relationship was still a secret. Everyone at the studio had really enjoyed meeting Josh at Talia’s birthday dinner and they seemed disappointed when you announced that the two had broken up, a couple of weeks afterwards. Obviously, they didn’t know the reason why and you were officially single. One of the drawbacks of no one knowing that you were spoken for is that they tried to get you to date and set you up with some people they knew. You tried to tell them that you weren’t really looking for a relationship, but they didn’t seem to care too much. It had sort of become a running joke in your household. 

Come on, Talia said during dinner, Royce’s cousin is pretty hot. If you’d been single, you should totally have gone to dinner with him ! 

Well I’m not single, you giggled. I feel bad for Royce and Porter though. It’s the third time they are trying to set me up with someone and I end up refusing all the time. I hope they don't take it personally ! 

Especially when they come up with such fine choices, she replied. The men they want to set you up with are total snacks !!! 

Yeah, they’re pretty attractive, you agreed. 

I’m right here, Marshall said with a chuckle. Do you remember me ? You know, your boyfriend ??? 

Feeling threatened, Em ? Jamal asked with a grin. 

Not at all, Marshall replied sternly. 

Not that we’d blame you, Em, Talia said playfully. I mean, that basketball was like half your age and twice your height ? Not to mention that he was buff… 

Remind me why we’re eating with them and not at my place, babe ? He asked you with a faux-exasperated face. 

Because we want to spend time with Y/N ! Talia shrieked. You’re basically stealing our bestie, Em. 

I’m not stealing her, he said as he rolled his eyes.

After dinner, the two of you were cuddling on your bed, watching a movie and talking about outfits for an appearance Marshall was supposed to make on some documentary. 

You can’t have me wear the Saint Laurent jacket all the time, he chuckled. People are going to think I only have one outfit. 

But you look so good in it, you said. Plus, it really shows off your muscles. Like, your broad shoulders and everything… 

Not enough, apparently, he muttered under his breath. 

What ? You asked. 

Nothing, he sighed before getting up. 

Suddenly, he seemed a little bothered. You paused the movie and looked at him. He was standing in front of your mirror, inspecting himself, looking displeased at what he saw. You got up and hugged him from behind. 

You look handsome, you whispered in his back. 

I don’t, he groaned. I look like one of the seven dwarves. 

You don’t, you giggled. What’s up with you ? Are you stressed out about this documentary ? 

Not really, he said. I mean, I couldn’t care less. 

What is it then ? You asked as you ran your hands on his stomach. 

Don’t do that, he grumbled before removing your hands. 

You looked at him, not really understanding. One minute you were cuddling and the next he didn’t seem to want you touching him. Plus, his snapping was sort of unusual. You sat on the bed and patted the mattress so that he would sit next to you. 

Want to talk about it ? You asked softly. 

Do you agree with Talia ? He asked. 

About what ? 

About those guys. he said. Do you think they’re better than me ? 

You stared at him in disbelief. To you, it seemed like a stupid question. Of course they weren’t better than him. 

You know she was just kidding, right ? You asked. 

Yeah but… Are they ? He asked. 

Of course not, you said. Why would you even worry about that ? 

I think it’s pretty obvious why, he sighed. Just… forget it alright ? 

He groaned again and got undressed. You thought he’d stay in his boxers, as he usually did when you went to bed, but he put on sweatpants he had left in your room a while ago and a tee-shirt, as well as a hoodie. He got under the covers while you stared at him.

What ? He asked in an annoyed tone. Why are you staring at me like that ? 

Nothing, you said timidly. Are you… cold ? I can adjust the room’s temperature if you want. 

I’m good, he said. Let’s go to bed, ok ? I have a big day tomorrow. 

Sure, you said in a sad voice. Good night. 

You quickly got into Marshall’s discarded tee-shirt, using it as a nightgown and got into bed. After turning the lights off, you got into your usual position, expecting him to cuddle with you as he always did, but he didn’t. It made you a little sad, although you knew it probably wasn’t a big deal. You were spending almost every night together and he was entitled to some distance if he wanted. This was your first night without cuddling and, without being overly dramatic, it felt like the end of an era. Even though the temperature of the room was perfectly fine, it felt cold. You grabbed a hoodie of his and put it on. When you got back in bed, he had turned and you could only see his back. 

I love you, you whispered shyly. 

Love you too, he mumbled. 

You didn’t sleep too well that night. You ended up tossing and turning a lot, wondering what was on his mind and what you could do to make it better and if you were the one to blame. You hated that kind of mood. Back when you were with Simon, he would often be grumpy over small stuff and give you the silent treatment. This had led to you second-guessing everything and overthinking every time someone’s mood changed. Your heart sank a little as you fell asleep. 

Fortunately, in the morning, Marshall’s mood seemed to have improved. You woke up to him kissing your forehead. 

Hey you, you whispered in a sleepy voice. 

Hey, you little hoodie thief, he chuckled. 

Slept well ? You asked. 

Yeah, I needed that, he said with a smile. Mind giving that hoodie back ? I have to get ready for the day. 

There’s another of your hoodies in the closet. 

I want this one, he chuckled. 

It’s going to reek of me, you pointed out. 

Maybe that’s what I want, he chuckled. I’m going to miss you today. 

I’m going to miss you too, you said with a pout. How about we both blow off work and sleep in ? 

I’d love to but I can’t, he chuckled. We’re having a session with a beatmaker I’m really excited to work with. Why don’t you come by after uni ? You’d really like his work. 

Sure, you said. 

He seemed genuinely excited and it made you happy. He often smiled, but his happiness radiated even more when it came to music, the thing he was born to do. You loved that he shared that with you. Of course, you cherished the moments when it was just the two of you, because it allowed for more intimacy, but you just loved watching him work. 

When you were done with your day, you joined everyone at the studio. They had just finished recording a track with Chris, the beatmaker Marshall had told you about. Apparently, he had reached out through Porter and everyone on the team seemed to really like his stuff. You greeted everyone and they played the track for you. You immediately understood what all the fuss was about : Chris was insanely talented. What he did was different, but also in line with the vibe Marshall had chosen for the album. You complimented him and he ended up playing some of his beats for you while the others took a break. You also talked for a bit. The two of you were roughly the same age, making you the youngest in the room, and you had a lot of common cultural references, seeing as his mother was french. You even talked about french rap music and joked around. He seemed to take a liking towards you but you didn’t pay much attention to it. You were spoken for anyway. Plus, he was clearly the type to flirt with anyone and everyone so you knew it was nothing special here. When they got back to work, you watched them and you couldn’t take your eyes off Marshall. However, the session ran long. Not that it bothered you too much. You always enjoyed hanging out at the studio, getting a preview of what they were working on. Plus, Chris kept on joking with you, either in English or French. Whenever they couldn’t understand, the others threw a side-eye at you, so you tried to stick to English. When the session came to an end, Chris came to see you. 

So, what did you think ? He asked. 

I love your beats, you said earnestly. You’re super talented and I just can’t believe that you started a few months ago. 

I have collabs with a bunch of other people, he said. They won’t be released for a few weeks, but maybe I can get your e-mail and send them to you ? 

I’d like that, you said with a smile. 

And then, maybe you can tell me what you think about them over dinner, a movie, that sort of stuff ? He added with a wink. 

You were a bit taken aback. You quickly glanced at the others in the room. Porter and Royce were excited, Jamal was staring sternly and Marshall’s eyed seemed to have turned a shade darker. He was pursing his lips. 

I’m sorry, you said, I’m not interested in dating right now. 

Can’t blame me for trying, he said with a smile before kissing your hand. 

He took a piece of paper and wrote his number on it before giving it to you. 

I really enjoyed meeting you, Y/N. Maybe you can give me a call when you change your mind about dating ? 

You blushed a little and mumbled before he left. His confidence was a bit unsettling. As soon as he was gone, Royce and Porter started groaning. 

What was wrong with this one ? Royce asked as he crossed his arms. 

Nothing, you said. I just said I’m not interested in dating. 

Will you guys just stop pushing people on her ? Jamal asked with a frown. I don’t need a thousand suitors coming to my house trying to woo her. 

Hey we didn’t plan for this one, Porter chuckled. But I think there’s something wrong with you, Y/N. This one was attractive, funny, french and more talented than any of us were at his age. 

Told you, I’m not looking for anything right now, you said. 

Well when that changes, you might want to give this one a call, though, Royce said. That’s the kind of guy you should be with. 

You shook your head and changed the conversation subject, going back to music. After everyone left, you got in Marshall’s car to go to his place. You were happy to finally be alone with him. Plus, it was a Friday night, meaning that the two would be able to spend the next morning lounging in bed. As soon as he got into the car, you grabbed his hand but he pushed it away angrily. 

Care to explain why you were flirting with that jackass right in front of me, Y/N ?! 

What ?! You asked defensively. 

Oh, please. “Oh my God, you’re so talented. I can’t believe you just started a few months ago”, he said, imitating your voice and vocalizing fake french words. You were practically riding his dick !!! 

I was complimenting him ! I also complimented you when we first met, if you recall, you pointed out sternly. 

He literally asked you out ! Marshall blurted. 

And I said no ! Why are you making a big deal out of it ? I like his beats, so what ? I like a lot of stuff. 

Yeah, you like him, he scoffed. 

I don’t even know him, you said. You like his work as much as I do, so what’s the big deal ? 

Yeah well I don’t think I’m going to use these beats anymore, he groaned. 

You looked at him and let out an involuntary laugh. 

He hit on me so you’re not going to work with him ? You asked in disbelief. 

Well I don’t want to work with anyone who wants to fuck my girlfriend, he said. It’s a matter of respect. 

Marshall… He doesn’t even know I’m your girlfriend, you said softly. Everyone thinks I’m single. 

Well maybe that’s the fucking problem ! He screamed. 

You stared at him in confusion. You took a deep breath and tried to keep your composure, even though you were startled by his outburst of anger. 

I’m lost here, you said. Walk me through it, because it doesn’t make much sense… 

You’re not here all the time. You don’t hear everyone commenting on how cute and sweet you are. On how they love you and anyone would be lucky to date you because you’re a goddamn catch. And how “That’s too bad for that dude Josh, he seemed great”. You don’t see everyone looking at you because you’re the brightest person in every room you enter. I do. 

He took a deep breath and avoided your gaze. 

And I know it makes sense to keep it on the low, right now, he added. We agreed to it and shit but then, I see you with that dude who is like half my age and talented as fuck and I’m like… It gets to me. That’s it. You heard Royce. That’s the kind of dude you should be with. 

You smiled shyly and took his hand that was balled in a fist. You kissed his knuckles and caressed his cheek as he closed his eyes and let out a sigh. 

So you’re… insecure ? You asked softly. 

If you want to call it that, yeah, he admitted with a groan. 

You really shouldn’t be, you said. You are the brightest person in every room, my love. Especially when you’re in the studio. You’re great and everyone reveres you.  Same goes for me. I only have eyes for you and every time I hang out here, I am amazed at how great and talented you are. And yes, I complimented that guy, because he is talented. But his talent and his beats, they make you shine even more because you are the one putting them to good use. You’re the one writing incredible lyrics and rapping them. No one does it like you. 

You think ? He asked. 

Of course, you said with a smile. And as for me practically riding his dick, don’t you dare say that to me again. Because yours is the only one I want to ride and I will prove it to you right now if I have to. 

He let out a laugh and kissed you. 

I’m sorry for losing my temper, baby, he said gently. And I’d love to take you on that offer but we’re in a public parking lot. 

Then let’s drive to your place and I’ll get on my knees to show you how much I appreciate you, you offered with a devilish grin. 

He laughed, kissed you again and wasted no time before starting the car. During the short drive to his place, you strategically placed your hand on his thigh, tracing circles on it, gently teasing him. When you got to his house, as soon as the front door was closed, you immediately jumped on him and removed his jacket and tee-shirt. Now that the two of you were alone, there was no reason why you should keep your hands off each other. You shoved him against the wall and immediately dropped to your knees. You undid his pants, letting his cock spring free and began licking the head. He closed his eyes and let you work your magic. You stroked him as you licked, taking as much of him in your mouth as you could. His fingers were in your hair, slightly pulling and encouraging you. 

I’m not going to last long, he warned. 

You shrugged to show it didn’t really matter to you. All you wanted was to pleasure him and for him to enjoy the moment. But he stopped you and made you get up. 

What are you… ? You began asking. 

I want to be inside of you, baby. 

He quickly undressed you and pinned you against the wall as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He immediately picked up a fast pace, wasting no time. He was thrusting into you harder than ever, kissing you sloppily. 

Say you’re mine, he whispered in your ear. 

Of course I am, you chuckled softly. 

Say it. I want to hear it. 

I’m… Yours, you said as he slammed into you. Yours only, Marshall. 

Right when you thought it wasn’t possible, he thrusted into you harder and made you come, taking the both of you to climax. You came at the same time and ended up panting on the floor. You were both sweaty, dripping messes, but as far as you were concerned, you were too stunned and exhausted to move. Your eyes were closed and you felt Marshall’s fingers stroking your cheeks. 

You’re a goddess, he said before kissing your forehead. 

You simply hummed in response. You were so tired you could fall asleep right then and there. 

Up, he said. Let’s shower. 

Bath ? You tried to negotiate. I don’t feel like standing up. 

Bath it is, princess, he said as he picked you up and carried you. 

I’m going to be so sore, you complained with a small laugh. 

Good, he said with a hint of pride. That’ll remind you of me. Of who you belong to. 

Territorial much ? You teased. 

He didn’t bother responding. He drew a bath and you settled in his arms and between his legs as he looked at you intensely before starting to wash your back. 

You don’t need to worry about anyone else, you said softly. There’s only you. You are the only one I want to be with. The only one I want to sleep with. 

I know, he said as he interlocked his fingers with yours. But… 

He stopped and sighed. 

What’s wrong, my love ? 

You don’t have to agree, and I know it’s early but… What if we went public ? Like, not “public” public, obviously, but… People we know ? He asked. 

You took a second before responding. You were a little stunned that he even suggested that. Plus, you didn’t feel ready, as you were scared that it might change the group dynamic. You didn’t want to suddenly become “Em’s girl”. 

I don’t know, you said. Do you think it would make you feel better ? 

I guess, he said. But you know, it’s not just a territorial thing. I mean, I want to claim you as mine so that the guys stop suggesting that you date and that these other dudes know that they should back off, don’t get me wrong but… Being with you feels natural. Pretending I’m not feels like lying. 

I’m not ready for people to know about us, you said. 

Are you ashamed of me ? He asked bluntly, his behavior suddenly changing. 

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. The idea that you might be ashamed of him seemed preposterous to you. He was the hottest man you knew, the wet dream of millions of people around the world, insanely smart and talented. If anything, you thought he might be the one ashamed of being with someone as bland as you. 

Ashamed of you ? Why would I be ashamed of you, Marsh ? 

You tell me, he groaned. 

That’s stupid, you said as you shook your head. 

Now I’m stupid ? Great, he said before getting up and leaving you alone in the bathtub. 

Marshall, don’t…, you began to say, but he left and went to his bedroom. 

You groaned as you got up as well, your body still sore from your earlier exertions. You grabbed a robe and joined him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, a towel wrapped around his waist, looking pissed off. 

What’s with you, lately ? You asked. 

Nothing. 

Clearly, there’s something, you said. Yesterday, you got distant out of the blue, then you acted jealous before claiming me as yours and now you think I’m ashamed of you ? Where is all that coming from ? You asked calmly. 

I never thought a girl would be reluctant to tell anyone she’s dating me, he said. 

So, that’s ego, you pointed out. 

No, it’s not fucking ego ! If it was, I could easily get anyone else and it would be a done deal, he said as he rolled his eyes. 

Way to make me feel good and convince me to go public with you, you said sarcastically. 

He looked at you and sighed before taking your hand. 

I didn’t mean it like that, he said apologetically. All I’m saying is… I don’t understand why you want to hide our relationship, he said. I thought it was going great. 

It is going great, you said softly. 

So what is it ? He asked. Is it because I’m old ? Because of how I look ? What makes you so ashamed of me ? 

You looked at him in disbelief. He seemed sad and genuinely thought you were ashamed of him. It broke your heart. 

I don’t think fifty qualifies as old, Marshall, you said. 

Fifty-one, he bitterly corrected. 

You could be ten years younger or older, it wouldn’t matter to me, you know ? You said. And it's not how you look either. You look great. I mean… Have you seen yourself in a mirror ? 

I have, that’s the problem, he groaned. I’ve also seen the last two guys you dated and the men Royce and Porter keep on trying to set you up with. I know I’m not your type. 

Of course, you’re my type, you said softly. 

Come on, have you seen them ? They’re all at least 6”5, most of them are super buff… 

Yeah, well, I have dated tall men, you shrugged. But you’re muscular too. 

I’m not tall, he sighed. And I haven’t worked out too much lately. I think I’ve put on a few, actually…, he added as he touched his stomach. 

Marshall, I’m 4”9, you chuckled. You might not be as tall as other guys I have dated, but you’re still a freaking giant to me ! And I like your body the way it is. It’s freaking perfect. You might not hit the gym as much as you used to, but with all the time you spend fucking me in those weird positions, I think you work out just as much, if not more… 

True, he chuckled. But I don’t know, Talia said…

Talia was just teasing you, you said softly. You know how she is. She loves being mean to you. 

She’s a fucking bully, he said. 

But she’s like that because she likes you, you said. 

I know, it’s just… I’m a bit sensitive about that, I guess ? He shrugged. Like, I’m aware that you have a lot of options. And that some of them are literally half my age. 

Ok, you said calmly. I think we should address this because it seems like you’re obsessing over it, at this point. What’s up with your age ? You seem to make a big deal out of it. You have always pointed out our age difference, but it seems to bother you more, these days. 

Royce made a joke the other day, he admitted. Or a… comment. I don’t know. 

What did he say ? 

That if I wasn’t too old for you, maybe I would have had a chance to put you in my bed, he said. 

Well joke’s on him, you chuckled. Because we’re in bed together almost every night. And I love your age. 

You love my age ? He asked in disbelief. 

Well, I do love that you are experienced, you said with a wink. You’re the best sex I’ve ever had. Like, no one makes me come like you. And I had never even squirted before you. 

Really ? 

Yes, you giggled. And, the sex thing aside, I like the fact that you’re more mature than guys my age. So you don’t have to worry : I am not ashamed of you or anything. If we were the same age, we wouldn’t even be together. 

What do you mean ? 

Well, if I had met you twenty years ago, I would probably have thought you were an asshole, from what I gathered, you explained. And right now, I wouldn’t be as attractive. I’d be… older. You men age like fine wine but what you see of me right now is my prime. 

The asshole thing is true, he chuckled. But I’m not fucking DiCaprio, you know ? I’m not only into girls who are in their twenties. And for the record, you’d be beautiful at any age. I’ll still love you when you’re 51. I’ll be an old man by then and you will have put me in a retirement home, but I’ll still be crazy about you. 

You swooned at how sweet it was that he thought about loving you almost twenty-five years from now. It implied that things were serious between the two of you and that he thought your relationship might be going somewhere. You sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck before kissing him softly. 

I love you, he said. 

I love you too, you whispered. I’m so happy and proud to be your girlfriend. 

You are ? He mused. 

Of course, you giggled. 

So… Can I ask why you don’t want people to know about us ? He asked carefully. 

I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea, you admitted. 

What idea ? 

That I’m dating you because you’re this famous rapper. I like the Eminem, talented dude part for sure. But I’m not dating him. I’m dating Marshall Mathers. I’m with you because you are the most caring, funny, nice and good-looking man I know. I’m more interested in your comic book collection than your career anyway. And I don’t want people to see me as just your girlfriend. I like being their friend too, you know ? 

I see, he said. That makes sense, actually. 

He kissed your cheek and played with your hair. 

Sorry for being a dick, he apologized. 

It’s fine, you said. There’s something else, too… 

Mmmh ? 

People knowing about us would include your family, right ? You asked. 

Well… yeah, he said. I guess I hadn’t really thought about that. But yeah, I guess. 

Now you might be the one ashamed of me, you giggled. 

Not at all, he said reassuringly. You’re right, it might be too early for that. But I am in love with you and I’m serious about us. So, at some point, I’d like to tell them about you. 

Aren’t you scared of what they will think ? You asked nervously. 

Not really, he said. They will love you. You have no idea how long they have been pestering me about dating, so you’re probably going to come across as some sort of savior. 

They won’t think it’s weird ? You asked. 

I don’t think so, he said. I haven’t really thought about that, I guess. I never thought I’d want to introduce anyone to my family anyway, you know ? But I know that they’re going to like you. You already get along with Hailie and I know that Lainey and Stevie will love you. But we’ll see how it goes when you meet them as my friend anyway.

You really want us to meet ? You asked in shock, suddenly nervous. 

Chill, he chuckled. It’s not going to be any sort of proper introduction or anything like that. But they usually come and watch football games with me, either here or at the stadium. There’s always a bunch of friends too. So I might invite you, Talia and Jamal. What do you think ? 

As long as I don’t have to wear stupid Lions apparel, you chuckled. 

You don’t get to disrespect my team under my roof, he said with a faux frown. 

It’s not the team, it’s the outfit, you corrected with a smile. I don’t even understand the rules anyway. 

Now I’m ashamed of you, he joked. 

You chuckled and kissed him. 

Be ashamed of me all you want, but I’m starting to get cold and I want my bath, you said as you got up. Care to join ? 

Sure, he replied with a smile. I’ll explain the rules to you, once again. 

No, you begged - fully knowing that he could be unstoppable when it came to talking about football. 

Come on, it’s easy, he began. 

I didn’t ask for it, you said sheepishly. 

But you just said you don’t know the rules of football, he said. 

Doesn’t mean I care, you giggled. I swear, if you start talking about football, I will rap some Benzino. 

Do that under my roof and you’re dead, woman, he said before tickling you. 

You tried to push him away but he was too strong for you. He pushed you onto the bed and buried his face in your neck, gently nipping at the sweet spot he knew you had. You couldn’t control your moans as he started sucking on it and untying your robe, exploring your body with his hands. You were sore but clearly ready for another round. After some sweet love making, you got back to the bathroom to draw another bath - the water being too cold now and saw your reflection in the mirror. You let out a gasp. Your neck was full of hickies. Marshall arrived behind you with a shit-eating grin. 

I’m going to kill you, you sighed. 

What ? Just because we’re not going public doesn’t mean I’m letting people think you’re single, he chuckled. 

They're going to think I’m dating a freak, you commented as you inspected the hickies and figured out they’d be hard to hide. 

I should have done that earlier, he said with a smile. Now maybe Royce and Porter will stop. 

If I have to walk around like this, I’m going to start leaving hickies too, you threatened. 

Don’t you dare, he chuckled. My kids are going to freak out if they see that. 

You owe me, then, you said sternly. 

Anything you want, princess, he said lovingly.

[multi-fandomedfreak]

I loovveeee your Connor headcannons!! Soooo.. maybe Connor introducing us to Hank and his Jericho friends like all cutesy. He would be so nervous but I just love himmmm. I am obsessed with the 'meeting their family' trope till I dieeeee

:)

Authors note: This is such a cute request I’m in loovveee

Paring(s): Connor x Reader

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️ : noneee

🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙🪙

-Connor is suuuper nervous

-Even though it was 100% his idea to introduce you to Hank and his Jericho friends

-But most definitely not because he’s ashamed of you or anything

-Poor dudes just nervous that the tension between humans and androids would still be there

-Plus he’d never forgive himself if he got someone he cared about hurt (whether that he u or his friends)

-But all it takes is a reassuring squeeze of your hand and suddenly the unease he was feeling subsided enough for him to go through with it

-With Hank it was easy introducing you

-He obviously had that gruff exterior to him but he took a liking to you almost immediately

-To be honest Hank and you hung out more that day than you did with Connor

-He was kinda watching with a mixture of being offended and content (Connor: 🥲&☺️)

-(Hank may or may not have started calling u his daughter-in-law ((as a joke))…maybe)

-After that Connors more at ease when he introduces you to his Jericho buddies

-Markus, who’s usually so calm and collected, is actually struggling to contain his joy from the thought of a human-Android relationship

-Markus and u are besties now

-Connor, probably: Why’s everyone stealing her 🥲🥲

-After introducing you to Simon and Josh, Connor starts to wonder why he was ever hesitant to introduce you in the first place

-Well…at least until North comes along

-Don’t get me wrong, North doesn’t hurt nor insult you in anyway

-Her trust just takes a little more effort to earn and for good reason

-Connor was really starting to worry it might be a problem since she didn’t seem to approve of you

-but little did he know you made plans to hang out with her next week after a while of talking with her lol

-And even though it was ur irresistible y/n charm that made his friends like you

-It was also because Connor could. not. shut. up. about you

-Before any of this he was already hyping you up and talking about you any chance he got

-So it was a team effort really lol

-By the end of the day, both of your guys’ social battery’s were drained (Connors literal battery too) I think I’m so funny

-So ya’ll just plopped down together in your shared bed and cuddled till you fell asleep