#just imagine that this was posted on fathers day or something idk

[thatnununguy]

father of the year

[todayisafridaynight]

fathers day is this month how am i going to inflict psychic damage on myself

[kiirschtein-archive]

⋆ 「 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢’𝐬 (𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞) 𝐦𝐨𝐦. 」 ⋆

feat. — toji fushiguro x f!reader, kid!megumi

word count. — 1.4k

content. — sfw, non-sorcerer au, established relationship (marriage), mostly just fluffy domestic stuff, reader is addressed as ‘mom/mama/mommy,’ toji’s kind of a bad parent but he’s working on it, brief mention of toji smoking (cigarettes), overprotective!toji, very minor suggestive themes (from toji 🙄 he’s a walking cw/tw)

notes. — idk. this has been incessantly on my brain pretty much from the moment i  woke up today, even to the point where i was writing half of this at  the laundromat lmao. mother’s day yesterday had me feeling some type of way, so here have some fun headcanons from a strange eldest daughter!!!! (i might end up doing a set of these for gojo x reader too 🤔)

⋆ 「 — he’s not your biological son, but you’ve been around since you started seeing toji when megumi was still a baby. but now, a few years later, you might as well be his real mother. you certainly act like it and feel like it, so toji gladly initiates the conversation about official adoption. it just makes sense. you eventually explain the situation to megumi as best as you can simply so that he doesn't grow up thinking he was lied to or anything of the sort, but as far as he's concerned, you're his mom whether it's by blood or not.

⋆ 「 — and oh, megumi’s a mama’s boy. i imagine he’s just a little bit of a healthier kid vs. canon given the better family situation, but he’s still always a bit of a grumpy baby, appreciating his autonomy and trying to be as self-sufficient and mature as he can be. but he’ll most certainly run to you when he needs help, is truly hurt, or just needing a bit of comfort. you’ve always treated him so softly and kindly with understanding, so he honestly feels more comfortable coming to you most of the time instead of his dad.

⋆ 「 — he likes the way you organize the bookshelf in his room or fold and sort his clothes in special little ways. he gets upset any time toji tries to put a book back in the wrong place or can’t figure out where his damn socks are. gumi will scowl and say, “that’s not where it goes.” or go deadpan and be like, “mom always keeps the socks in the bottom drawer.” disappointed that his father can’t even remember. toji just grumbles and says, “your mama’s gonna ruin you.”

⋆ 「 — has called you 'mom' basically since he was old enough, but don't let him fool you. megumi will drop the big boy act and come out with 'mama' or 'mommy' when something's wrong or he's really excited. he'll come to you with quiet tears and sniffles, a little ashamed that he's crying, but present to you a scraped elbow, "mama... it hurts." you clean up the scrape and explain to him the little medical details in a somewhat understandable way to help him focus on something besides the pain, and you tell him that it'll be okay, and that it's alright to cry. or on the flip-side, you and toji take him to the zoo, little gumi on his dad's shoulders, and he gasps and points excitedly, "look, mommy! look at the big elephant!" and it feels incredible to see him be so spirited.

⋆ 「 — along the lines of the art from this post and the thought i had about it earlier, just imagine that you're at some event (maybe like a birthday party or something), and toji's been hauling megumi around. they're both so over it at this point and are like 'please get me out of this' so as soon as toji walks past the obnoxious inflatable bouncy house, he smirks and just YEETS that kid inside without a second thought. after regaining his breath, megumi just looks at his father with the most EVIL little scowl as other kids bounce around him with smiles. by the look on that child's face you could've swore that his father had just done him the ultimate betrayal.

so gumi slides out and hurriedly makes his way over to where you're sitting off to the side, quietly climbing into your lap for a little bit of solace. he wiggles in close to your chest and you tuck him under your chin with a ‘come here, sweetpea,’ rocking slowly and humming something soft because he always seems to like it when you do.

toji comes over and you look at him through narrowed eyes. "kids are supposed to like shit like that," he says.

"you know he likes when things are more quiet," you respond, and toji rolls his eyes at how you seemingly spoil your son.

"just thought it might be good for him to try and get along with the other brats." toji tries to cover up the fact that he tossed his kid for the sheer personal enjoyment of it.

you huff in disbelief. "oh, like you get along so well with everyone?"

he scoffs and moves in behind you, leaning down to place a kiss on your neck. "i get along with you," he says almost suggestively.

you just keep stroking megumi's hair and give the top of his head a gentle kiss. "yeah, well not today," you say, shooting a smug, resolute smile towards your husband, ultimately taking his son's side.

⋆ 「 — outside of his alone time, megumi would honestly much rather be with you instead of other children. toji thinks it's probably unhealthy and you're inclined to agree, but you also don't want to force megumi into situations that will just make him miserable. so, when appropriate, you don't mind at all pacing around with him in your arms or have him walk next to you (maybe holding your hand if he’s not in a ‘big boy’ mood), teaching him about the things you see in the woods, the park, or even the museum. when toji's not away working, he'll join too because it admittedly makes his heart feel soft to watch you two together. it always has, because you've been doing this with megumi since he was a baby. it never gets old. if it wasn't already so difficult trying to figure out how to do things right by his son, he'd want you to give him even more babies.

⋆ 「 — megumi likes doing things with his dad sometimes too, though. toji tries his best to do it right and watch both his mouth and his temper. you like seeing them getting along, even if it's just quietly watching tv or a movie (probably a cartoon where toji gets kind of into and will ask the occasional question like "why does that one stupid chick keep doing that?" and megumi just shrugs like, "i dunno. she is pretty dumb.") or playing ball outside because gumi's starting to show some athleticism. but you have to remind toji that he can't always be so rough or competitive with games because megumi is literally a child.

⋆ 「 — toji can also be way too overprotective of you two at times. you'll be out and about and he'll just be wearing such an intimidating expression as he walks behind you both, on the lookout for anyone who might want to cause trouble or take the wrong sort of glance at his wife. he'll even snap at people for walking too close or like cutting in line or something petty, and you have to tell him stop acting like an attack dog and looking like the grim reaper because dear god you're literally just having lunch at the park. even at his age, megumi's just eating his ice cream and looking at his dad with his little baby deadpan expression and thinking "this man really needs to take a chill pill." other times he can be more relaxed, however, obviously confident in his ability to protect you. it depends on his mood. but that still doesn’t stop him from being embarrassing and going off on people in public if something happens.

⋆ 「 — you also know all of gumi’s favorite meals and snacks. it’s yet another one of those things where, if his dad does it wrong, megumi expresses a disappointment beyond his years. toji will be making and packing his son’s school lunch just as instructed by the notes you gave him, but it’s by no means as neat and meticulous as when you do it. toji’s got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with furrowed, concentrating brows, his free hand shakily reaching for a cup of fresh coffee, and megumi’s standing there with his little backpack, criticizing his father the entire time. “mom doesn’t do it like that,” he says.

“well mom ain’t here right now. and it doesn’t matter how the sandwich is cut, is still tastes the damn same.”

gumi doesn’t even physically react, still wearing the same neutral expression, just waiting for his dad to hurry up. “mom says you shouldn’t smoke. and she also says not to use bad words.”

toji scoffs and then smirks. “well mommy uses all sorts of bad words you don’t even know about when her and daddy have play time.”

megumi’s already almost late for school and can barely feel his feet from how tight his dad tied his shoelaces. he also asks you later about “play time,” and you want to absolutely murder your husband over it.

[moriitis]

How freaky do you think Toby is?

Like, do you think he is into public sex or getting caught being intimate with his partner? Or does he enjoy being intimate with his partner alone?

-🫐🔮 Anon

How freaky is Toby?

Content/Warnings; sex, mentions of public sex, mentions of porn, masturbation, being sexually frustrated, mentions of murder.

Toby 100% at first is a virgin. Like, this man would not have gotten any action before he murdered his father and it's not like he got much action after. (I know him and Clockwork did stuff together and he probably lost his virginity to her.) But even after that, he's still insecure and awkward as fuck! I wouldn't be surprised if a part of him just assumed every woman was the same and there was just some kind of magic button he could flip that would make them orgasm. I don't really think he knows much about himself either? Like, I don't think he's ever sat down and really considered what turns him on or what makes him horny? Like, his dick will just get hard and he'll rub one out to deal with the issue if needed.

And fuck the whole debate of, 'is Toby an ass or titties kind of guy?!' because we all damn well know that this man is both. I don't wanna say this man is horny all the time - but in the end of a day, he's a dude and he's gonna get a lot of random boners that make no fucking sense. And no, he's not gonna suddenly get turned on or aroused if a woman is nice toward him, just more things like if he were to accidentally brush a hand against your waist or you put a hand on his knee. I feel like physical touch is more boner inducing than 'omg she smiled at me, omg shoulders, etc.' LIke, he's down bad but not down, down bad. He's just awkward and despite the little experience he has, he's sailing a ship blind essentially.

Lowkey feel like he has a lot of unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex too. I don't wanna say he lives off porn, but I see him using Pornhub or Twitter occasionally to help him jack off (even his imagination at times when needed but that's hard because he usually ends up thinking of weird shit that turns him off.)

Toby got energy too, depending on the situation and stuff. He will cum within seconds, I'm gonna put that out there but he can continue going until you're satisfied.

Onto the question though, is Toby a freak? I think his freak level will depend on his partner. I'll be honest at times Toby can be a little sex obsessed, he mostly uses pleasure in an attempt to feel something and forget about his problems (but post nut clarity will hit him HARD.) I feel like his sex drive will try to match his partners. You don't want to have sex for months on end? He's fine with that, sure he'll try to initiate something or attempt to turn you on but if you brush him off or say no, he won't persist. He's not one of those asshole guys where sex is expected, if you're not up for it - that's fine! But he'll jack off later to help relieve himself if he's really sexually frustrated. (And yes, since you guys started dating he dropped Pornhub.) Same thing for the other way round, if you wanna have sex everyday, shit, he'll try and keep up!

On the topic of public sex, I'm gonna say no. I think the idea interests him enough but he's not going to pull anything risky. Slender trusts him with going out ito civilisation, he's a wanted criminal and the last thing he wants to get caught for is fucking public indecency. Not only that, but if Slender did find out? If either of you got caught? If he got caught and you got away? I don't know, I don't think he could live with himself and nor does he trust Slender enough to not punish you too. Now, Toby is a notorious rulebreaker though, I think between the other three, Kate, Tim and Brian, Toby is the one that breaks the rules the most. But that would explain why is memory is so fucked up. Plus, he's someone's man now, idk the idea of being in a relationship matures him a little.

If you tried to initiate something in public, he'd probably maybe sternly tell you off a little.

"No, no, n-nnow isn't the time. Let's do this l-la-later, yeah? Be good for me, huh?"

"I'll make you feel good, j-just me n you. Come one."

Like sure he'll get hard at the idea of you being so sexual and the risk of it all, but Toby isn't that fucking stupid. I think the worst part for him would be how tempting it would be, so he'd struggle internally for awhile.

But he'd make it up for when you guys are alone. Considering how awkward he is, he would prefer to do these kinds of things alone. Now, would that stop him from fucking the shit out of you in his car? No! But as long as you're parked up somewhere dark, he don't care. It's not like he would be ashamed for fucking somebody as perfect as you, in fact, it's normal! God damn, what could be worse, public sex or murder?

And yes, he will fuck you with the lights off. He's just insecure, maybe at some point he'll find some confidence to allow light, but as long as he can feel you and hear you - he's satisfied. Although he does love when you ride him when he's sat in the drivers seat of his truck, he loves seeing your facial expressions so close, your hot breath on his lips.

[voxslays]

Lucifer’s Daughter Headcannons

Lucifer x Reader: If Lucifer and Reader had a daughter, here’s what I think she would be like. or an excuse for me to talk about apple white…

Personality

First of all, personality. Your daughter would be raised by Lucifer, therefore picking up some of his both positive and negative traits, but let’s start positively.

Your daughter would be very creative. Her father was a dreamer; having beautiful (rejected) ideas and dreams for humanity. We saw in episode five how Lucifer would use his powers to show baby Charlie magic—so I doubt your child would be any different. Although Lucifer would be worried about her ending up like him.

Your daughter is very empathetic. Always helping injured little animals she finds in your back garden. Also, speaking of animals, it’s like she can speak to them. Animals really like and trust her—and by the time she gets older, she has an army.

Very charismatic. Your daughter would be extremely popular in school. Not only because she’s a princess of hell and the daughter of a fallen angel—but because of her charisma and charm. She is extremely outgoing, and will walk up and talk to anyone. Almost everyone loves her—how could they not?

Unfortunately, she would probably have selfish tendencies. Having been spoiled her entire life, she expects everything to be handed to her on a silver platter. And yes, while she can be down-to-earth and empathetic, she isn’t a perfect Angel.

As a teenager, your daughter would likely experience extreme anger issues. We’ve seen Lucifer can control his anger and annoyance…but he’s also been alive for eons. A teenager wouldn’t be able to do that.

She also inherits her father’s powers. From childhood all the way up into her teenage years, she will struggle to control them. Her powers getting stronger the angrier she gets. She is completely out of control, and has to be calmed down.

Looks/Appearance

Blonde. Very very blonde. There is no way she doesn’t inherit the signature blonde Morningstar locks. Oh, and those adorable rosy red cheeks. She’s so cute!

However, she will have your complexion and eyes. I also can imagine your daughter having curly little ringlets or locks, which is extremely hard to brush, because she cries every. single. time. and you just feel so bad about it.

Overall, I think your daughter would look (and dress) something like apple from ever after high, with your eye color and skin tone ofc. (God I love her so much).

Name

Okay. I know I’ve mentioned Apple White already in this post…but I just love her so much! Can you guys imagine Lucifer having a daughter like her?

Do I think he would name his daughter something like Apple? Definitely. I mean, he was the one who offered eve the forbidden fruit; an apple. And he just likes apples.

Another name is Evangeline. Depending on who you ask (or what you google lol) Evangeline can mean one of three things. Angel, messenger, or ‘good news.’ So not only does this name remind him of the good days back in heaven, but also his brother Gabriel, the messenger…is that too much of a stretch?

Another good one is Penelope. The name Penelope is Greek and means ‘weaver’ (not important) or ‘duck’. Wouldn’t it be so cute if Lucifer named his daughter something duck related? You can’t tell me otherwise.

The last name I can think of is Aurelia. (I actually knew an Aurelia lol). Aurelia means ‘golden’ or ‘the golden one.’ Not only is Lucifer referred to as ‘the golden angel’ in mastermind, but he would treat his daughter like a golden treasure. A chance to start over and fix his previous mistakes as a father.

Idk if I should make a part 2…but if I do, would u guys rather it be more Headcannons for Lucifer’s daughter, or a different characters child?

[fangedxnight1836]

Characters of the day:

The Jordan Family!!!!!!

Most underrated and funniest family in all of DC.

They have the most relatable and hilarious family dynamics ever.

It is honestly funny whenever people HC or imagine that Hal is a loner, only child guy who clings onto the bat family or others too seek closeness when he has a whole family with multiple nieces, nephews and a cousin that adore him.

Neeeeeeed a family sitcom about them asapppp

We will talk about a couple members of the family and give our facts and HC’s about them:

(I included Helen in a different post, so check that out if you want to see her)

Jack Jordan:

The oldest child of Jessica and Martin Jordan, the brother of Hal Jordan (Green Lantern).

Often seen as the “golden child”, he was the most successful in terms of employment and economically.

Jack Jordan married a woman called Janice and had Two kids called Jason and Helen.

Canonically used to cheat on his wife with many people.

Took a lot of stress out on Hal when Jessica got sick.

Some HCs:

The kids all know the names of the women that he cheats on Janice with, they make a Bingo card with all their names on it, and compete with each other to see who wins.

Calls Hal, Jim and vice versa

Janice is in denial about the whole ordeal.

Jason Jordan

Son of Jack Jordan and Janice Jordan, twin brother of Helen II Jordan and the nephew of Hal Jordan.

Protective of his sister, and loves his uncle Hal.

Some HC’s

He listens to instrumental music a lot

Pretends to like phonk since his friends do, but can’t get into it.

He makes a lot of Pinterest boards for the things he likes and uses it as a bucket list for inspiration.

Sends Hal airforce memes and any references to Green Lantern at all.

Him, as well as Jane are the ones who update him on internet trends he misses.

James Jordan (Jim Jordan)

Youngest son of Jessica and Martin, younger brother of Hal and Jack.

Husband of Sue Jordan and father of Howie, Jane and Arthur.

His wife (who is a journalist) married him because she thought he was Green Lantern, later found out it was actually Hal and … yea….

Hal’s most supportive brother.

Some HCs:

Knowing that his wife thought he was Green lantern still keeps him up at night .

He tried to become a vegetarian once and then accidentally ate something that had meat within it the following day(he cried ).

He plays candy crush.

Howard (Howie) Jordan:

Eldest son of Jim Jordan and Sue Jordan

Brother of Jane and Arthur

He is quite a smart kid, often pointing things out that even Hal doesn’t notice, and speaking his mind when he feels like it.

Some HC’s:

Howie pretends to be a superhero whenever he is alone in his room.

He always wears the colour green when Hal comes round.

He was the class president in his high school

He can name all the dinosaurs and spell them out correctly ( idk i just think he likes dinosaurs a lot).

Jane Jordan:

Is the daughter of Jim and Jane

Sister of Howie and Arthur

Used to have quite long hair, but cut it quite short

Some HCs

She is definitely the rebellious type .

Asks Hal the come to all her parents evenings.

She loves the young justice group.

She once has split dye hair (Green and pink iykyk).

She probably had a Ben 10/danny phantom phase.

Arthur Jordan:

Youngest child of Jim and Jane

Literally a baby

Soooo cute

Some HCs:

He watches coco melon.

iPad and YouTube kids enjoyer most likely says “Skibidi” .

Makes aeroplane noises when Hal comes over.

He knows everything and hears everything NO ONE IS SAFE.

Harold (Hal) Jordan Jr:

The son of Larry and Helen I

The cousin of Jack, Hal and Jim

He is the third Airwave and has “radio powers”, his dad and mum were the first and second. He inherited these powers from his dad.

Is implied to be queer.

Some HCs:

He sucks at mortal combat .

He always tries to help out and keep everything sane.

He tried to do a back flip once for the first time it went terribly and Helen (his mum) instead of taking him to the hospital she phoned Hal.

Doug “Hip” Jordan:

The no-good distant cousin of Hal and his family.

Runs around in a lot of gang circles, and tried selling Jim in a green lantern circle to a gang in an attempt to get into it.

Hal got him arrested.

Drugged the whole family and used the kids to help him do it.

Known as the black sheep of the family.

Some HC:

He is always spotted at the wrong times when someone is either hurt or fighting.

He sold John Constantine a vape.

He tries to use Morden day slang to fit in with the kids .

He uses the term “Where my hug at” to anyone that approaches him.

[noceurous]

lights, camera, action

your boyfriend gets his hands on a handycam, later on you

warnings: mentions of divorce, mentions infidelity, Dave’s family is also mentioned, some self-doubt and angst, looots of feelings (sorry idk what took over me ehehe), swearing, smut: fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), p-in-v sex, slapping, daddy kink, usage of various nicknames (baby, darling, etc) minors dni (18+) reader is able bodied + has some length of hair + afab.

a/n: my birthday is officially on 10th of september, but this fic turned out to be longer than i expected, so i said post it with a fic you feel good.

a/n2: this fic takes place in the same universe with [take the heat away, make the girl stay] but they can be read separately.

Carol was a really nice woman after the divorce.

It was nice of her to call you a homewrecker, among many other names.

It was nice of her to fill Molly and Alice’s heads with wrong ideas about you.

It was nice of her to call Dave in the middle of your date and tell him that he’ll come back crawling back to her after he’s done with you. just like the girls before and made sure you heard it.

Lastly, it was nice for Carol to send all of his belongings to your tiny apartment. You didn’t even know how she got your address. Just after a simple ring of the doorbell, you were standing between piles of light brown boxes.

“Shit, did she really do that too?” Dave asked over the phone as you stood inside the labyrinth made of boxes.

“Yep, what’s left of your relationship is now inside my living room.” You said as you eyed over the boxes. Trying to find out if your relationship was enough to fill one box.

“They’re mostly clothes, family photos and Father’s Day gifts. There is nothing left of the relationship.” You were familiar with the last sentence. Dave used that to reassure you during the beginning of your relationship. 

He also used that sentence to girls, and Carol. When any one of them accused you of breaking them up.

“Yeah, probably. I’m gonna take a shower. When will you be back?”

“Fifteen minutes tops. Do you want anything?”

“No, just you.” His chest hurt when he heard how your voice cracked before you ended the phone call.

He hated Carol when she did that. Blaming you for everything went wrong in the marriage. Taking her anger out on you, when in truth you came into him long after he decided on a divorce.

—

“Darling? I’m home.” He didn’t hear your reply, but the water sound came from the bathroom.

He took off his long coat, his keys still in his hand when he walked towards the living room. Greeted with a pile of boxes. He couldn’t imagine how you felt when a box after a box came into your place. He would call Carol again, but he knew pretty well whatever he said to stop her, just would fuel Carol’s anger.

He raised his key, slashing and opening one right through the tape with it.

Fake plastic trophy of being the Best Dad Ever, broken hand painted coffee mugs, a photograph in a frame from Alice’s first soccer game. 

He went through some of the boxes more. As he assumed they were mostly clothes and stuff related to girls. Mainly photo albums which were half empty since Carol only sent him photos he was included. Nothing more.

When he was going over his last box, something silver at the corner of the box caught his eye. When he took it out, he was greeted with an old handycam.

“No way.” He smiled as he took it out. Shocked when he found out it was still charged.

He heard your footsteps when you came towards him, wrapped a towel around your body and another one around your head.

“What is that?” You walked towards him, the scent of your shower gel filling his nostrils.

Orchids.

“That’s my old handy-cam. Got stuck between stuff, still works.”

He explained as he checked if there were any pre saved videos. He remembered using it for Alice’s school plays and Molly’s soccer practice. Half remembering that he already saved them to Carol’s computer.

He pressed on the record button, when he saw the red blinking light he raised the camera to you.

“What are you doing!” You chuckled, covering your face.

“Recording my lovely girlfriend.”

“I’m in a towel.” He shrugged, still keeping the camera on you.

“That’s better.” He said as he zoomed on your legs, slowly lifting the camera to your body. “Don’t be shy. Camera loves you.”

“Is it the camera? Or is it my horny boyfriend?”

“Both. Give me something baby, come on.” You rolled your eyes, blew a kiss and winked at the camera.

“That’s better.” He said as he placed his hand on your towel, raising an eyebrow.

Before you could understand his next move, he tugged the towel down, watching it pool around your ankles.

“Dave!” You protested, hands covering your breasts.

“Don’t be shy honey. This is just for me. Show it to me.” You huffed, placing your hands at your waist. Sticking out your chest more as he pointed the camera at your breasts, recording every inch for you.

He licked his lips at your sight. “I’m a lucky bastard aren’t I?”

“Try the luckiest.”

He chuckled, motioning you to the couch. “Take a seat.” You rolled your eyes, swinging your ass as you walked towards the couch. You knew he was zooming in there.

He whistled, “That’s my girl” as he followed you. Sitting further from you on the coffee table. “Open your legs for me, come on.” The sight of your glistening pussy was on camera, Dave’s hand was slightly shook, blurring the view for a second. He tried to play it like he was affected less from the sight of you than he actually was. 

“Hmm, you’re wet baby.” You smirked at the camera, slowly nodding. “Who made you this wet?”

“You did.” You pressed your fingers on your lips, spreading them to show him your swollen clit covered in your silk. “See? It’s all for you.”

He felt his pants tighten, he didn’t even find the time to take off his tie since he got back. Now you were standing all naked for him, showing off your perfect body. And he had too much clothes on to feel you on his skin.

“Be a good girl, play with yourself for me. But don’t cum.” He said as he slowly placed the camera on the coffee table. Angling it to the perfect angle.

Your eyes were looking into his eyes, as he clicked his tongue pointing at the camera. “Eyes on the camera baby.” You swallowed down your whimper. Thumb pressed onto your clit, feeling your walls clench around nothing.

You pushed a finger inside you, moaning at your wetness. You closed your eyes, for a second, your other hand was on the cushion, grasping it tightly.

You started moving your finger, in and out, playing with your clit then back in. “Open your eyes.” You opened them, seeing Dave in front of you, behind the camera.

He was naked, his cock in his hand, slowly pumping himself. You could tell he was rock hard, it was painful for him not to touch you. “See what you’re doing to me?” You gulped, nodding quickly.

“Add another finger.” You did as he said, your toes curled, walls clenching around your fingers. You didn’t have to look down to know your juices were dripping down on your couch, making a mess.

You continued to finger yourself slowly, eyes locked on the red light on the camera. You could feel you were close to reaching your orgasm, trying to hold it as long as possible.

Your whimpers filled his ears, his eyes locked at the way your naked chest came up and down. Each second it became harder for him to not feel you on his skin. You were a sight for his sore eyes, all he carved for his life.

“Show me.” He said as he knelt between your legs. You took your fingers out of your pussy, the wet sound of it crying made both of you moan.

Your fingers were glistening with your juices, you took them inside your mouth, sucking off your juices.

His warm breath fanning your weeping pussy. He quickly hooked your legs on his shoulders. Diving into your pussy, drinking your juices right from your core. 

Your body trembled as his warm tongue touched you. Drawing long strokes with the tip of his tongue. “Oh Fuck!” You said as your hand went back to cushion. Supporting yourself as Dave continued to lick over your folds aggressively. 

He raised his face, his lips and chin covered with your juices. The corner of his lips raised into a smirk. “You taste so good.” He said before he dove back in. Sucking down your clit.

You smirked at the camera, hand going to your breast. “Fuck! Dave! You are so good!” You pinched down your swollen nipple. Pulling him closer to your core by pressing your ankles on his back.

He pushed a finger inside you, eyes pointed up to your blissed face. You were looking right at the camera just like he told you. His pretty girl always followed his orders without making him give them twice.

“Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!” You were chanting out as he was brutally fucking you with his finger. His lips on your thigh, kissing along the soft flesh, pressing his teeth on your inner thigh.

He pushed another finger inside. “Are you going to cum?” You looked down at him, eagerly nodding.

“May I? Please daddy, I’ve been so close.” He chuckled, curling his fingers inside you. Earning a loud moan from you. “Please.”

Who was he to deny you from pleasure?

“Cum for me.” He said as he sucked your clit once more, fingers still moving inside you. Your body shook when he brushed along your sweet spot. Pads of his fingers pressing on it just right. “Fu—“ Your body jolted backwards, your mind went blank as the white pleasure surrounded your body.

You were panting heavily, as he got up between your legs slowly, his hand wrapped around his cock. Fingers shining with your juices. Your mouth watered with the sight. You wanted him. You wanted more.

With the dark look in his eyes, you knew he wanted the same. “Get on the floor. On your hands and knees.”

You got in the position like he asked, shaking your ass a little when you got on your knees. He slapped you harshly causing you to fall on your hands. Your lips parted, showing him one of his favorite views; your ass in the air, your hole greedily waiting for him.

He pressed his tip on your entrance, “Look at the camera, don’t close your eyes, or I’ll stop.” You knew this was more of a statement than a threat. Before you could say something he gradually pushed himself inside of you, letting go of his breath when he reached your limit. His cock twitched inside you when your walls welcomed him inside.

“Oh.” You moaned at feeling full, still sore from his fingers. Your pussy greedily accepting him, already addict to the sweet pain.

He could see your glossy, lustful gaze thanks to the camera. Cursing himself for not thinking this sooner. Not thinking of saving these moments of you. Not starting saving anything he could save from you.

He placed his hands on your waist. Getting his momentum as his hips started slapping against your ass, not wasting any time with being gentle. Today was not one of his gentle, love making days. He needed you. He needed to take what was his.

He was not having a great time at work. Now he also had to handle Carol and stop her from attacking you.

He had to protect you and he had no objection to that. If it was allowed, he would tear up the limbs of anyone who dared to hurt you. It does not have to be physical abusive, just a simple word was enough to get him violent. There was nothing in this world that would stop him to protect you.

You were his purpose in life, his guiding light.

“Please.”

Your crying voice turned him back to reality, his eyes snapped back to the camera from your shaking ass. Your eyes teared from pleasure, thin layer of sweat covering your cheeks.

“Yes?”

“Please cum inside me. I missed feeling your cum inside. I’ve been empty for days.”

He had some stuff to take care of in Denmark. Unfortunately his little business trip took longer than he expected. So all you were able to do were some quick calls and exchanging text messages. Whispers of “I miss you” were exchanged as you bit your tongue not to say “I love you” too soon.

“Baby…” He said, getting faster than before, chasing his pleasure. You moaned, when he pushed in a bit too hard. Your hand stopped you from falling forward. Forehead almost hit the coffee table.

He cursed his ignorance, wrapping his arm around your neck, leaning over figure. He pressed his lips on your sweet spot behind your ear, feeling your body tremble between his arms. He nudged your temple with the tip of his nose, taking in your smell.

“I’ve got you.” He whispered, eyes locked with yours on the screen.

“You look so good, baby. I feel how you tighten around me, you want to cum again don’t you?”

“Yes, please.”

“You want me to make you?”

“Ye—yes...” His hand went to your clit from your waist, flicking it rapidly. “F—fuck! D—dave!”

“Go on, come all over my cock baby! Fuck you’re milking me so good.” He slapped your ass, grabbing a handful of the soft flesh before whispering to the shell of your ear. “You want me to cum inside don’t you? Fill you right to the brim?”

He groaned at how your walls tighten around him with your question. “Yes! Fuck yes! Please fill me up. I’ll do anything, please.” He sucked a bruise your neck, his hot breath from his nose fanning on your throat.

“If you really want to…” He said as he spurted out his cum inside you, pressing down on your swollen clit. Holding your body with his arm still wrapped around your neck as it trembled with your orgasm.

“Dave!” Your voice shook as you tried to keep yourself up. Feeling his hot cum spill inside you. He turned your head to the side, smashing his lips to yours. You moaned into the kiss, opening your mouth for his tongue to enter. Your salty taste on his tongue as he sucked yours.

Taking everything you offered to him.

He slowly took himself out, some of his cum spilled out from your hole. He tsked, gathering them with his fingers and pushing them back in. You hissed with the contact, looking over your shoulder to him.

“I’ll send someone tomorrow, to take care of the boxes. I don’t want you to worry about them.” You nodded, as he lied down next to you. Pulling your naked body to lie on his naked chest. You buried your head on his chest, kissing right above where his heart his.

You took the camera from the table, stopping the recording. You smiled at the video, thinking how better you looked than you guessed.

“Like a true temptress.” Dave said, as he buried his nose in your hair, his fingers drawing circles on your upper arm.

“Can I keep a copy as well?”

“Anything you want darling.” He said as he kissed you, slowly moving you to his lap between kisses. “Anything for you.”

—

The next morning Dave’s men came to collect the boxes. And Carol had an anonymous email in her inbox with no subject.

It was a small photo where Dave was eating you out. When she scrolled down, she saw your text added underneath.

Mine, back off.

Needless to say, the email disappeared a few minutes later it was read, without leaving any trace.

—

please provide comments/reblogs if you liked this fic. they always mean a lot 💙

[oletuswriter]

im so embarassed of sending asks but I LOVED YOUR LAST POST. Idk what to say, but could you do character analysis? If you only write as x reader it could be relationship hc or analisys of how they act w reader JUST DO YOUR MAGIC 💗💗💗💗

੭⠀ A deeper look into the relationship.

⋆⠀AUTHOR’S NOTES: I’m not sure if this is exactly what you wanted or which character you had in mind, but here it is! If it’s not quite what you had in mind, feel free to send another ask. By the way, to the people who sent requests,thank you! I’ll be posting soon, I just need a little time to write 🫶🏻

⋆⠀FEATURING: Frederick Kreiburg 'Composer'.

⋆⠀WARNING: This post contain spoilers of Ashes of Memory and Frederick’s backstory.

The room was silent. Frederick stood by the window, his silhouette framed by the faint glow of moonlight. He didn’t look at you when he spoke. “I never planned on letting anyone get this close.” His fingers tapped idly against the windowsill, a subtle betrayal of his nerves. “But now… I can’t imagine leaving without you.” He finally turned, his eyes meeting yours. “Tell me you’ll come with me. That this—whatever this is—wasn’t a mistake.”

⋆⠀Frederick grew up carrying more burdens than he could handle. His father’s rejection, combined with his disorder, instilled in him a constant need to distance himself from others to feel “safe.” The disappointment of realizing he didn’t inherit the natural talent that ran in his family’s veins didn’t help either, and his paranoia only worsened over time.

⋆⠀His perception of the people around him is always the same—neutral, if he even cares enough about them to give them any space in his mind. So, when you were introduced, Frederick was polite and brief, treating you just like anyone else who had entered the manor.

⋆⠀His thoughts about you only began to change after you confronted Orpheus for overstepping into matters that were none of his business. At first, Frederick assumed you were just a people pleaser trying to lower his guard. However, later that same day, he overheard you chatting with Alice and Melly once again, telling them about how you were against being so impolite and disrespectful.

⋆⠀The closeness between you two didn’t happen overnight, but small gestures and actions here and there gradually allowed you both to feel at ease in each other’s presence. He listened to you, engaged in normal conversations, and stopped giving short replies just to end the discussion. He even waited for you to arrive at the table before starting to eat. For others, it was surprising to see Frederick interacting without being defensive, though they simply assumed it was a budding friendship.

⋆⠀In the beginning, that’s all it was. Frederick wasn’t exactly thrilled about having someone he could call a friend, but he wasn’t upset about it either. When he realized his feelings were changing, though, he tried to deny them to himself. Yet, seeing how futile that was, he was left with only one option: acceptance.

⋆⠀Being in a relationship with him can be complicated. Even if he trusts you, he’s unlikely to let you know much about his past—unless it directly affects your relationship. The thought of you abandoning him is something he cannot bear, and he is willing to do anything to prevent that, from killing to opening up about some past traumas.

⋆⠀Frederick’s paranoia is no secret. He feels not only jealousy but also a deep-seated anger toward anyone who dares to take your attention away from him. He firmly believes that people have ill intentions when they approach you and wants you to believe that as well. And if you dismiss it? Oh, God, either he’ll manipulate you with tears, or he’ll accuse you of betraying him.

⋆⠀If you ever get upset with him, he’ll send romantic letters, dedicate songs to you, and do things straight out of a romance novel. Part of these actions can be a sincere apology; the rest, although, can also be just an attempt to make you forget whatever mistake he made.

⋆⠀Above all, once you agree to be his partner, Frederick will include you in his plans for life after leaving the manor. Even if he doesn’t fully explain what those plans entail, one thing is certain—leaving you behind is not an option for him.

[rei-ismyname]

Merry X-Men Holiday Special Highlights

Happy holidays, everyone! It's been about a year since I started posting about the X-Men on Tumblr and if it wasn't for all the lovely folks who engage and discuss it wouldn't be so enriching. I'm super anti-capitalist and anti cultural Christianity so it's less 'Happy Christmas' and more 'I wish y'all the best.' ❤️💚

I wonder if Lockheed speaks Hebrew

Here's Kitty Pryde celebrating Chanukah in Genosha and remembering her father. Leading the special with an explicitly Jewish character observing a Jewish holiday is great, but the notion of saving the world by becoming president of the USA is a dubious one. The USA is an imperialist entity built on deep seated systemic inequality and worse. Even the most progressive of presidents is beholden to that. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try, but Kitty is kidding herself about 'saving the world the right way.'

Nature Girl hates Christmas, and it's hard to argue with her reasons. The parts about warmth are weird to me because I live in Australia where Christmas is always hot AF. One of the few days I hope for rain, tbh.

I'm not sure if Bobby quite understood what 'eschewing capitalism' means but this looks pretty fun. That tie dye X-Men tee slaps and I want one. I wonder what Kubark thinks of this human holiday.

This story with Magneto coming around on the pointlessness of lighting menorahs does the rounds every now and then, though not as much as I'd expect. The kids are particularly plucky and eloquent, and the one who emphatically tells Magneto he's wrong is a legend. I'm fond of any story where Magneto rethinks his beliefs, and this is a nice one.

It took me a while to notice that this is written by Charlamagne tha God, possibly because it's kinda funny to imagine Ororo knowing who that is. Idk why, I've just never seen any stories indicating that she's into Hip Hop culture. I like that it's a rejection of turning the other cheek where bigoted assholes are concerned. You can't reach some people, and there's no obligation to exhaust yourself trying. Fuck em. The Michelle Obama mention is a bit on the nose.

Old man Logan is cutting firewood and being gruff, as he does. Kurt gives him a picture of himself, which is a baller move. I was under the impression that this Logan was an alternate reality Logan, and doesn't have a particularly close relationship with these X-Men. Nothing about Logans makes sense, sometimes you just have to accept it as cute and cool.

Glob does stuff! Is that meant to be mistletoe? We don't have it down here. He nails up some plant matter and then chills by himself. Little bit depressing, but I can't talk.

Bobby Drake has a party! Interestingly neither Jewish nor Christian, but a pagan holiday that's become a bit more popular (like Christmas and Easter.) Hope is watching Cable do... something, in a recorded message from when she was the universe's most unpopular baby.

Some kids are sharing the rumour that Magneto merked Santa, which is hilarious. It's obviously untrue, not least because Santa is Mags' mutant brother. Kurt lectures them.

Jubilee beats up Arcade (yay!) and quotes Home Alone, rescuing Shogo (who's spending this Christmas as a dragon in Otherworld.) I really don't like Arcade, though he has done two excellent things. Torturing Sinister and creating the Proletarian - worker's hero of the Soviet Union.

Nightcrawler and Storm show up and Christmas is really just a backdrop for a light anti-capitalist tale. Cool! I'd expect Cyclops to be in this book, but no. It's Chuck-less as well.

[pandalexoxo]

OKAY BEAR WITH ME Y’ALL. I HAVEN’T PLAYED THE GAME SO I’M JUST GOING OFF OF SOME TIRED OLD MAN TROPES.

FRANCIS MOSES x READER

also, i haven’t written down any of my rules, but i don’t have any limits! i’ll write whatever requests people send me! whatever your dark mind can think of will be my pleasure to create!

i don’t mind if you’re not 18+, since, if i ever do make smut i’ll just label it as 18+ and TRUST that 18+ ONLY will read. you all have probably seen, but i’ve just written about my thoughts of different fandoms so far so there’s no 18+ posts YET. (maybe i’ll make this account SFW and do another for NSFW? idk, i normally post on other platforms but randomly decided to give tumblr a try lol)

as a NM/trans man myself, i TRY to keep my readers gender neutral by not really describing the characters features. hard on TRY bc i know the last blurb fic i made of dead plate was Rody x Male Reader lol, oopsies! anywhooo, enjoy~!

WARNINGS! doppleganger mention, possible unconsciousness, possible death, possible unfunny dialogue (bc sometimes i’m the only one who finds me hilarious lmfao), you’re kinda a baddie ngl, you and Francis are besties, Francis is a cat lover?! Francis is a tired old man who hates technology. phone mentioned despite the first wireless phone being made 23 years after the story takes place (use your imagination) uhhh, anything else i forget? comment below!

Francis let out a long sigh of relief, taking his cap off with one hand, using the other to dab away at his sweaty forehead with a handkerchief. Upon seeing the exhausted man, you can’t help but smile softly, shaking your head as you get ready to scold him, once again. You cross your arms, looking at him through the window with a playful disappointed glare.

“mhm mhm, what do we have here? you really should be getting more sleep, mr. milkman, your eyes are starting to sport their own eye bags.”

with this comment, Francis shakes his head but is unable to stop the small, yet tired smile on his face. he bends down to place the crate of milk jugs onto the floor before handing over his ID card. you hum, narrowing your eyes when Francis doesn’t give into your whims. you eye his card, glancing at it a few times before slipping it back to him with a chuckle.

Francis’s eyebrow raises in confusion at your reaction but ends up shaking his head, rolling his eyes playfully and sighing softly. he places his cap back on his head and huffs, deeming your reaction as a go ahead inside.

“now… what if i was a doppelganger? you aren’t even going to call my room to check if someone is there? such a reliable doorman we have.”

despite Francis’s playful tone, your grin slips into a frown as you study Francis from behind the glass. this causes him to tense up, suddenly feeling nervous, like he did something wrong. you hum, tilting your head into your palm as you seemingly analyze Francis for a little while before deciding to speak.

“what’s up brother?”

Francis blinks a few times in surprise, his head tilting in confusion at your question. His eyes narrow as he thinks about the question you asked.

“what’s… up… brother…?”

Francis looks up at the ceiling, taking your question to heart. upon seeing nothing on the ceiling, Francis can only shake his head and sigh at your antics.

“are you done with your tomfoolery, (Y/n)? i’m quite exhausted and would like to go up to my room and rest.”

you can only shake your head, clasping your hands together like a disappointed father getting ready to discuss their kids grades at the dinner table. you begin to explain.

“when Francis first walks in here, he always forgets one of three things… his keys, his hat or the crate of milk. you came in here, although exhausted, you seemed put together, unlike Francis, who is clearly going through a midlife crisis. Francis will then ask me about my cat, well, because he’s a cat person, though he insists no one knows. oh, and, Francis’s home phone has been broken for the past few days and is actually at the store, right now. so, Francis being here so soon, isn’t possible. that, and well, Francis never understands my references, but indulges me anyway… anything else i forgot, doppelganger?”

you bat your eyelashes, smirking from behind the window like you just cracked down the traitor in your group. with each statement, Francis’s doppelgänger’s face becomes visibly more and more angry until the doppelganger begins to completely change: black eyes with white pupils, a wide and eerie black mouth, adorned with long and sharp claws on the end of the doppleganger’s elongated limbs.

“you… you’ll regret this… i will get in one day and get my feast, starting with you. i’ll gut you, keep you alive so you can watch your organs fall out of your body and your blood splatter against-! *CLANK! BAM! PLINK!*”

before the doppelganger could finish his fantasy, much to your amusement, the doppleganger’s body tenses upon being struck before crumpling to the floor after becoming unconscious. you look up from the doppleganger’s body to see the real Francis hovering above the, possibly dead, doppelganger. you shrug, knowing that you wouldn’t have to call DDD services to take care of the mess, now you just have to clean up the body.

“mmm… tuesday… tuesday…? did i get that right?”

you hold back a chuckle at Francis’s response to your last question. you can only nod, letting Francis have the win this time. pinching the bridge of your nose and sighing, a loud laugh bubbles up from your throat as the two of you realized what Francis had hit the doppelganger with.

“ngh… i just bought this phone… damnit… his hard head must have broke it, ah, if i bring it back could i get a… refund…?”

[certifiedsexed]

hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?

context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.

but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.

my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.

i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)

Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!

So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.

But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.

But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.

What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.

Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.

Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.

Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3

[erinwantstowrite]

hi! hope your having a good day/night/timezone/etc.! u got any writing tips (like how to not lose motivation/use up as much of it as u can while u have it, any ways to get the words flowing/“get in the writing mood” that have worked for u) for any of ur fellow fic writers? (idk if this’s been asked b4 (it seems like a common question lmao), but if it has, ‘pologies, lolol ^^)

i have a few that i've been thinking up to try and post!!

remember that you aren't on a deadline to write, and to take the time you need. no one wants to read something you rushed, let alone do YOU want to read it. and it REALLY matters if you love what you're writing. you'll kill your motivation trying to keep up with something like that!! if you only had time to write 300 or you had a great day and wrote like 3000, you're doing great either way!!!

there's a lot to keep up with when you're writing, and you have to remember and understand all of it. if you're trying to write while you're tired/upset/etc, you'll likely end up with something you're not that proud of. (granted, art is art, and sometimes these emotions can create something beautiful or meaningful). take metal breaks so you can come back to your work with a fresh mind, and don't overexert yourself. you'll remember and understand more if you treat your writing time like you would when you're studying. sometimes i make flashcards to remember characters, places, events, etc.

sometimes i can get too analytical with my writing, or it starts to become flat? if that makes sense? meaning, like... i'm putting words on paper rather than delving into the story. too many "they felt this way" and not enough "Character A turns to face the man that had changed their entire life with the single shot of a bullet, careless to what damage he could have caused. It's haunting to see that the man is simply that: a man. Not a monster as they had imagined, laying awake at night and wondering what their father had seen in his final moments. He's just a man." what helps with this is putting myself into the shoes of a narrator, remembering that i am telling the story as if i already know what's happening (even if I don't know where I'm going with a scene yet). i imagine that my reader is right there next to me and i'm telling them the story in real time like we're sitting around a campfire telling ghost stories, or that i'm the quirky narrator of a book they just picked up.

During times where i'm losing inspiration or feel like i'm in a loop, i like to go back to my favorite medias and spend some time with them. i recently rewatched Gravity Falls, the Sea Beast, and the Adam Project, and it was a fun mental break that got me into the writing mood. i try to find similar media to what i'm writing at that time. if i want a scene focused on funny banter or a comedic effect, i read or watch comedy. if i want to write a scary scene, i'll watch a horror movie. etc etc. "studying" your favorite media and putting yourself into your fav writer's writing shoes is a great way to improve your own writing. think about why that joke was funny, what the set up was that made it that way, and if it would have been a different joke if another character said it (Gravity Falls is one of the best media you can use for this, but really, reading mysteries in general can help)

physical exercise, if you can. getting your blood flowing and treating your body well!! when i was in band, we used to do "body warm ups" set to music, and i still do them to this day. it gets me awake and alert while also letting me listen to fun music before i write

[katyspersonal]

Idk if you have enough to say since he’s a fairly minor character but can you give thoughts on the Hornsent (NPC)? I love him so much and I absolutely agree that he’s a huge parallel to Marika herself and I wanna hear more of your thoughts on that and him in general!

Hey, he is not THAT minor! xD All seven NPCs that were attracted by Miquella and are our guides through SOTE's lore are pretty much in the spotlight! Elden Ring's story just has these important Demigods and characters more strongly involved with them that their gravity makes it harder to focus on the Little Guy 😔 (and all Thiollier fans laughed sfdhfdh)

Okay so uhhh, I will post observations and thoughts in order, because yeah, with this guy you sort of need to pay attention twice or something?

1) He originates from Belurat

The kind of mask he is wearing could've created some confusion, but "the tower" exclusively refers to Belurat in the lore!

Freyja states this much at the beginning, and it is admittedly easy to forget because most likely you check this dialogue just on the first playthrough and before what 'tower' is clicks properly.. but yeah!

A more bold evidence here is that Hornsent will recognise the meal that is trademark of Belurat!

2) Don't be confused though, Grandam is not his mother!

He states in dialogues upon being killed by Leda and if he was not summoned to fight Messmer that his child, wife and mother were killed during Crusade!

2.1) He doesn't mention father nor gender of a child, though?

I think this on itself is interesting, and opens a bit more for potential backstory! His father might have been dead before the Crusade, or... maybe even divorced. x) Or maybe, he survived the Crusade, like Hornsent himself, but perished for another reason; maybe old age, maybe even upon seeking revenge as well? It would still make sense for him to not mention his father even then, because he would not count as massacred IN purge of the Tower!

Saying 'child', not 'son' or 'daughter', also gave me a kinda fucked up idea, listen! What if this means something? For example, his wife was merely pregnant, or the purge happened at the time when she just gave a birth, so he never learned whether it was a son or a daughter? I know I should not make it even darker than it already was, and it is probably just to specify the 'status' (he does say 'wife' rather than calling her by the name, after all)... But imagine...

In any case, his child was still very little! In Japanese he refers to his child as '幼子よ', and I checked... Yeah, it refers to basically an infant, it seems!

3) He is very reluctant to make a connection, even under spell!

After Tarnished gives him the Scorpion Stew, he gives them Furnace Visage (useful item for killing two Furnace Golems that can't be killed normally and to "wake up" one blocking the way in Ruins of Unte). His motivation is, "I desire not to be in your debt"!

And he refuses if you try to give him another Scorpion Stew:

The last phrase (お前と、慣れ合うつもりもな…) is more accurately says something like "I have no intention of getting used to you"! The only thing Miquella's spell did was to give him hope, but he can't open up even to "comrades"!

4) He is not likely to be a potentate, despite his mask!

He is wearing the mask that is otherwise worn by potentates, however, there is something else about potentates:

By the practice of his village of birth! It looks like this is basically a "family business" inherited through generations, something Hornsent already is probably excluded from, since he is one of the people of Belurat!

I think the simpler explanation for why he has this mask is not its context but its practical purpose: "to ward off thoughts and distractions (from his honorable quest of revenge)"! He must remain focused on vengeance; no friends, no falling into despair, no "wax nostalgic 'bout days gone by"... I also played around with the idea that this mask was from his mysterious never-mentioned father rather than something he picked somewhere! Maybe he was one of those Potentate barbarians that somehow climbed social ladder a bit by marrying a woman from Belurat! Don't know whether it is something possible in this society, it is hard to tell :p

Hornsent also doesn't use trademark weapon of Potentates, their butchering knife, but his weapon Falx - something created with the purpose of vengeance! I think it implies that he was not even a fighter before, and only started to wield weapon to begin with FOR vengeance!

4.1) He must not oblivious to where it comes from, though, so what does it say about his character?

Regardless of whether the mask comes from, I doubt he doesn't know its actual origin! I am positive that the people who executed Shamans are long ago dead, but the practice itself is alive. Besides, even Hornsent themselves get this treatment if they've convicted:

So you'd wonder what he is feeling avenging "his beloved people" who put other people in jars, and whether there is some hypocrisy, right? Well, I THOUGHT there was some awareness:

It makes it sound as though he is, at the same time, aware that his folks are not perfect either, and believes in Miquella's new world to fix their flawed, even barbaric culture as well, right? I double checked for Japanese text, and I do not really see it as translation mistake?

ミケラが、その誓いを違えず、一族をも救う神となるのなら

一族を、救って…

In Japanese, he uses 救, which means to 'save' or religious kind of 'salvation'! To 'redeem' doesn't seem to be too far removed from original meaning, but I'd say this gives off more of the vibe of 'salvation' that is justice for the martyred, for those who were murdered unfairly! Justice of God upon sinners and to help out the victims, rather than the 'cleanse our sins' kind of 'salvation'!

Maybe I am looking at it through the wrong angle, but I also kind of like this interpretation more! He is not exactly in the mindset to question imperfections or straight up hazardous religious practices of his nation when the wound of losing his own family, and countless other families being burnt in "cleansing" is what defines his whole life now! Hornsent culture deserves to be criticised, but it is not his priority for the long time now, maybe never again, and it is fair enough!

^ Another line pointing towards him certainly not having "criticism" towards his clan nor intending to, as this is translated very plainly:

…よくも、我らを汚物と呼んだものだ どちらが真に汚物なのか、自分でも知っていただろうに！

5) He disrespects Leda without crossing her boundaries

He never once addresses her by name! It is not just how he is, as he addresses not just Miquella by name, but also Marika and Messmer, his sworn enemies! However, Leda he addresses only as:

The thing is, she is not just Leda, she is Lady Leda! She has the title by her knightly status, and calling her by the name is something reserved only to either close people or those who wants to be an asshole on purpose x)

He surely would not call her Lady, and it could be not quite personal but just because he chronically dislikes Tarnished! But he also would not shorten the mental distance between them by using her name without honorfic. I think it is a neat detail!

6) He doesn't use the flasks to heal!

I actually only learned it from @slavonicrhapsody here ( x ) as I was not paying attention, but, yeah! Developers actually bothered to differentiate him by not having him use flasks, a thing of the Erdtree, that fits the lore!

7) His invasion location might be not coincidental!

Hornsent still invades us even if we helped him to complete his revenge upon Messmer because FromSLOP hates us and our desired bonds with the characters in case you haven't noticed that upon finding dead bodies of Ansbach and Thiollier lmao. But his invasion location is particularly quite close where Romina is, and in the place full of Scarlet Rot+! And Romina is herself form Belurat!

Perhaps, even though he called us a "comrade-in-arms", maybe meeting her made him turn upon us after all? Sure, he does say that after all, he doesn't wish Miquella's help but only vengeance upon everyone under Erdtree, but come on, dude, we are friends now!

But maybe meeting another Belurat survivor face to face after a long time knocked him back to his previous mindset harder, and he decided that "no, not a single person of Marika's world deserves to be spared, not even my comrade that helped me"! As opposed to just thinking up of a change of a heart on his own! It is one thing to keep the 'idea' of victims he is avenging in his mind as his compass, but another to meet one face-to-face, to see her living in the ruins now and latching onto twisted Eldrich God of endless death-and-rebirth that was not meant to be released similarly to Formless Mother! This is a far cry from Hornsent's religion and their worship of Divine Beasts from Heaven, Romina is "ruined" and so is the nature itself in some way, and it is all Messmer's and Marika's fault...

8) Another nameless character!

There are other characters in Elden Ring who abandon their names and instead take up titles that reflect their new purpose (like Dung Eater or Goldmask)! I can only assume that he forsaken his name, instead simply using title of his nation as one, after he lost his family. "The man I used to be died in the fires with them" kind of thing...

This is just an idea that I like, but I think if he was to ever find new relationship, he'd allow this person to refer him by the name or a nickname they pick for him! But he never wants to use his former name again. He might try to start a new life in the best case scenario, but never repair anything from the former one. Things once broken... you know.

9) You KNOW where his mapping skills come from!

He doesn't just also follow Miquella, but is an invaluable help to the team in picking and mapping his exact traces! He has been pursuing Messmer and his forces before in vengeance, and needless to mention that the size of Elden Ring's world is only scaled down for the sake of a videogame not making your brain AND computer explode x) He for sure needed a lot of spyoning, researching and seeking to both find his ways and not prematurely die.

I just think it works better if he lived comfortably in Belurat, a pretty high-class place, and HAD to develop both fighting and mapping skills as a response to his trauma and craving for revenge... I know there ARE military forces in Belurat too, but he is not exactly an armoured warrior, nor a Curseblade. And think about tragic drastic change of a character.... Miquella's charm sort of put those developed skills to a good use.

10) I am not sure what to think of his face data!

(From video by Zullie the Witch ( x )) I just had a flashback in black-and-white filter to the guy that passionately tried to prove us with the foam at his mouth that Fromsoft was super lazy, and honestly... all his arguments were super wrong, yet he never would mention something like THIS! You can absolutely tell that developers created one of these characters first, and then made the other one atop of these sliders instead of making a new one. 🙄

@slavonicrhapsody suggested that burnt marks on Hornsent's face could be from him surviving the purge, and I totally like this idea! Them making a unique character first with clear idea in mind and then remembering "ah, shoot, right we need a few annoying invader NPCs too" makes more sense! Especially since Potentates invaders are all generic, without variants! Basically, I think Hornsent holds priority in this kind of face data for obvious reasons, but, god, if they picked another type of beard, why not remove burnt marks? 🙄🙄 #FromSLOP

__________________

Tbh I already liked this character instantly upon first jumping into DLC! According to my friend @val-of-the-north people were thinking he was kind of an dick, which apparently absolutely went over my head as I didn't feel this way? Maybe it is because I am both familiar with distrusting other people as person with PTSD and not familiar with "being polite" as a concept as an autist lol dhsfh

I just found him intriguing, but his monologue after being summoned for Messmer scared me a little bit. The way he grows more obsessed with revenge, and doesn't intend to stop only at people who were actually guilty... Fun fact: I've summoned him on Messmer's arena by pure accident! XD I didn't know it could be done, I just randomly saw a summon sign while running from Messmer all over the place fhshfds Apparently it was a good call, because most people skipped this turn of character on their first play?

Also unpopular opinion, but I think him being "unlikeable" on some sort of objective level is good? I feel very strongly about the whole mindset of 'only feeling compassion for the 'good victim'' that lingers in society. Like... gooooood forbid if the victim becomes angry, or ends up hurting the world back, or otherwise develops the unlikeable traits, right? Only soft "likeable" victims that just weep and clearly never did anything wrong before OR after their trauma deserve compassion, right? (Slavonic I am using all my willpower to not link your post about Beebus rn fsdhfdhs) I think Hornsent developing negatively as a person is good and realistic. I praised the base game for how Dung Eater and Mohg were executed (not everyone who opposes the oppressive system or was a victim of it is automatically a good person), but Hornsent is not even a villain, and it is even better! He is "not good victim", and it doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve sympathy and recovery!

At the same time, really good character in his function, to show how revenge will only endlessly create more revenge infinitely! I think he deserves better than being automatically written down over what his mask item is given all the other context, and he definitely deserves all the "I can fix him" Tarnished bitches. 😔😔😔

[goosecastle41]

I have some fluffy girl dad Gideon headcanons I need to share with you

Firstly, just something sweet I’ve been thinking about; Gideon is the unofficial official ceo of playing make believe and tea parties. The second his daughter breaks out the tea set and the tiaras, Gideon no longer exists. Prince Gumdrop of the Sugar Valley is here and he WILL be having tea with the Princess of Cupcake Town thank you very much

Gideon is. Wildly protective of his daughter. BUT. He is a huge believer of “let your child do dangerous things in a safe environment”. His protectiveness manifests in the way of like. Trying to teach her how to protect her self. Teach her when a situation is dangerous and how she should avoid it. Letting her learn lessons like “You either stop climbing trees or you need to get better at it. Either way stop falling out of trees!”

Though on the same coin, Gideon would kill someone for looking at his daughter the wrong way. Easily. Gideon has no qualms about fighting a dude who’s made sideways comments about his baby girl. Gideon would go to hell and back for her any day of the week.

A mutual said this in a reblog on a previous post and they were just so right; Gideons love language is physical touch and spending time with his loved ones. He’s always wrapping his daughter up in his arms, lifting her off of the ground in bear hugs or planting big, noisy kisses on the top of her head or cheek. She pretends to hate it, bating at his chest or shoving his face away, but it’s almost always half hearted and she always gives in and hugs him back.

Again from my mutual; Gideon loves to take her out camping after they start up the carnival with Kremy and Frost and Gricko. The loud noises and lights and the people can easily get to her and make her anxious, so every so often Gideon would pack up their camping supplies and they’d head off into the woods where there’s nothing but the sound of the wind, bugs, birds and wildlife.

He teaches her how to fish, how to track small animals and hunt them. He lets her climb the trees seeing as she’s gotten so much better at doing so. She climbs like lightning and with steady hands and feet, but Gideon can always be found at the bottom, waiting to catch her if she needs

And lastly, I feel like Gideons daughter would call him Papa. Like I imagine Gideon adopts her when she’s fairly young. Something happened to her first set of parents, leaving her orphaned in this big scary world. Gideon and Kremy find her and for whatever reasons I decide later, decide to keep her and raise her. Gideon’s the main caretaker at first and she gets closer and closer to him until one day she calls him Papa out of the blue.

Gideon doesn’t make a huge deal of it. Kremy can see the smile trying to fight it’s way onto his face, can see the tears welling in his eyes. But Gideon just answers whatever question she had like his whole world isn’t being shattered and put back together piece by piece. He just pats her head gently and then watches as she runs off to go play, accepting that he’s a father. A Papa.

Idk. Just some things I’ve been thinking about

[pocarinapyon]

Happy Father's Day to the fathers, to those you consider fathers, and to those who will become fathers! 🤩

Speaking of fathers... 👑/🖥️ Just another random thought about the SAGAU / Reverse Isekai idea I had...

🌶️🌶️ What if the boys found out that they can stay in your world forever if they got you pregnant? Or in the case of the female characters, if they get pregnant? Like... They found some kind of scripture / ancient text / legend / whatever that says something about being able to retain themselves once they sire / bear your children (How many are children we talking about? IDK). Just imagine how eager the boys would be to get you pregnant!! 🤤🥵

So, again with my favourites!!

Starring : Albedo, Alhaitham, Childe, Kaveh (Separate)

Tags / Warnings : 🌶️🌶️ [Chilis] Actual seggs; The boys being obsessed with you; Petnames (if it bothers you); Contains stray cuss words; Usage of potions; A little dramatic in Kaveh's part; 👑/🖥️ [SAGAU/Reverse Isekai] Based on the SAGAU / Reverse Isekai concept linked below but spicy; Concept used if original / glitch varies

Links : Pinned Post, SAGAU/Reverse Isekai original concept, SAGAU/Reverse Isekai glitch concept, Anon's awesome concept about sleepmasks, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version A1(Albedo / Childe / Venti / Zhongli) Separate, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version Venti solo, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version A2 (Albedo / Childe / Venti / Zhongli) GangB., 🌶️🌶️ JJ version B1(Bennett / Diluc / Kaeya / Kazuha) Separate

Target audience is female (bodied) reader.

To whoever is reading, please enjoy.

---------------

Now just because Albedo was a homunculus doesn't mean he'd stop trying. In fact, he was even more inspired; even more dedicated to create new life inside your womb so he could be with you forever. As an artificial being, would he be able to get you pregnant? He wasn't sure yet but if he wasn't able to, he would find ways or die trying.

When he materialized in your room, he immediately drugged you into a deeper sleep. That way, he could experiment on you all night long without worry of waking you up and dematerializing back to Teyvat. And since he already fed you a slumber potion, why not go far as to give you something for your fertility and libido?

.

"Ahh...! My love, you're taking me so well. That's impressive," Albedo huffed as he pistoned his cock in and out of your abused pussy. "Ah...! Princess...!"

Albedo snapped his hips onto you and released another load of cum deep inside your already full womb. In turn, your slumbering body instinctively milked Albedo's manhood for more.

"Heh... Hehe... You really want it, don't you, my princess? I just love how you tighten around me and squeeze my cock," the alchemist sighed in contentment as he recovered from another orgasm.

"Ah, shit...! More... More! Fuck, you're so tight!" uncharacteristic cuss escaped from the Chalk Prince's lips. It felt so good to be buried deep inside you that the usually calm and poised Chief Alchemist couldn't help it.

White essence had long stained your sheets, an indication that Albedo had been assaulting you for a long time. But he wasn't done, no. He wanted to keep you as his beloved princess and if getting you pregnant was needed for this dream of his to come true, then he would gladly fuck you until your womb is full.

Alhaitham was probably the one who discovered the scriptures. Unfortunately, he was with a certain someone when he found out about the legend. It was a shame he couldn't stop the word from spreading. No worries. You usually keep Alhaitham active in your party so there was an insignificant chance his competitors could materialize in your world and get you pregnant.

Now that he was transported to your world, he must commence his plan. He stoically stared at your computer / Playstation (let's assume that's what you use to play) and carelessly unplugged the device, shutting it down abnormally. This made him glitch and stay in your world but only temporarily. Of course, he'd prefer to be in this state forever which was why he must proceed to the next step of his plan.

.

"Alhaitham, please stop...!!" your tongue was already lolled out while you plead for the virile scribe to be gentler with your wanton pussy.

"Oh? Don't act all shy and reserved now. You're clearly enjoying this because if you didn't-"

Alhaitham paused his movements and chuckled from seeing how your head quickly snapped in his direction. Your glossy eyes begged him to fuck you more and it proved just how much you wanted his cock.

"-well, you wouldn't be tightening around me and creaming all over me, right?"

"H - Haitham, you're being unfair...!" you cried from being on edge. "J - just make me cum already!!"

Alhaitham snickered before pressing onto your erected clit, making you squirm beneath his hard toned body. He did not move and only kept himself buried deep inside you while tinkering your sensitive little nub. The stimulation was enough to make you orgasm and convulse from the pleasure, milking Alhaitham and begging to be filled with his essence.

The Haravatat scholar knew how to push your buttons. Every time you masturbated to him, he observed you and etched in his mind how you wanted to be pleasured.

He also knew this won't stop you from playing Genshin Impact and using him as the main character. In fact, he assumed you would be more inclined to use him. You were a slut for him and giving you a taste of his sex would make you excited for more.

Now, all he had to do was to ensure you carry his child so he could make you his forever.

An interesting hearsay quickly spread across Teyvat. Word was if the active character that materialized in your world got you pregnant, they would be able to live with you in your world forever. Everyone became envious of the people who had the privilege of realizing this legend and one of these blessed people was the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger, Childe.

Childe couldn't help but feel giddily restless. Just the thought of seeing you pregnant and having a family with you made his cock stiffen in excitement. He wanted to knock you up so bad that he planned meticulously just to make sure you became his lovely wife.

.

"Aw, sweetheart. Don't be like that," Childe cooed at you. His hot breath fanned your ear as he whispered words that cajoled you deeper into depravity, "I know you want me to cum inside you. You feel that, right? How my cock twitches inside you and your pussy begs me to paint it white?"

"G - geez...! Fine! Today is a safe day anyway so I guess it's alright," you concurred. You then began to bounce on his cock once more, "Hehe~ Ah~! Make sure to cum tons, okay~?"

"Of course. Anything for you, my wifey," Childe responded in a husky voice.

"Hehe~ I can't believe you're actually letting me ride you on top today!" you chortled while grinding your hips to feel the Harbinger's hard erected manhood against your snug gummy walls. "Uwaaah~ this feels soooo good!"

With your sleepmask on, you failed to see the dark glint in Childe's eyes. He wanted to focus on your pleasure but it was hard to restrain himself from pinning you down and fucking your brains out. Like a bunny, you looked so adorable hopping up and down his cock that he wanted to make a mess out of you. But if it was true that you would have a higher chance of getting pregnant this way, then he would stop himself.

Patience is key as they say. He needed to tame his dark desires for now so he can reap the rewards later - and that reward was being with you forever.

The sappy architect's eyes glistened in delight. You mean there was a way he could stay with you forever? He could do something so that he wouldn't have to endure and make do with holding you in your sleep? If he got you pregnant, you would be his lover forever? What an interesting information indeed!

Kaveh stood in front of your bed, miserably debating whether to do this or not. His conscience ate at him. He loved you - he was obsessed with you - he wanted to be with you forever, but it was wrong to take advantage of you in your sleep. He sighed in agony and flopped beside you. And as if the higher beings heard his plea, your phone suddenly lit up and displayed a low battery alert before disappearing to reveal something interesting.

---------------

Kaveh smut. Tags: impregnation, cervix kissing, hard-core sex.

He wasn't sure if he could do hard-core but that was all the sign he needed to go with his original plan.

.

"N - nnh... You're so tight...," Kaveh whispered. He slowly dragged his cock deeper and penetrated you. "Mmh... Do you like that?"

Kaveh planted a kiss on your lips. He was being as gentle as he could in fear of waking you up.

"You're so gorgeous; nothing could compare to you. You are the embodiment of all that is beautiful," Kaveh praised you in a soft voice.

He continued to massage your snug walls with his veiny cock. A satisfied sigh escaped his chest when your warmth spasmed and clenched onto his manhood.

"Hehe. It seems you like this as much as I do," Kaveh mentioned with a proud smile.

He made love to you in the most romantic way. You were treated like a queen - a goddess who deserved all the love the world had to offer. Your pleasure was his priority, and he made sure to give every inch of you love and attention.

It was his first time doing this (with) to you, and he would be glad if he could have the chance to do more. All he hoped was for you to accept him should he manage to get you pregnant and stay in your world. After all, you were deprived of the privilege to decide if you wanted him or not.

Three among those four are triple crowned. Can you guess who's not triple crowned?

To whoever read this, thank you for your time. Here, have a pet bun-bun 🐇.

Again, happy father's day!!

Links : Pinned Post, SAGAU/Reverse Isekai original concept, SAGAU/Reverse Isekai glitch concept, Anon's awesome concept about sleepmasks, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version A1(Albedo / Childe / Venti / Zhongli) Separate, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version Venti solo, 🌶️🌶️ JJ version A2 (Albedo / Childe / Venti / Zhongli) GangB., 🌶️🌶️ JJ version B1(Bennett / Diluc / Kaeya / Kazuha) Separate

[hidden-by-a-trench-coat]

Hi, hello STFH fandom??? Yeah, I know a new longform just came out but I can't get Phantom Begruvia and Father Andrews out of my head for absolutely no reason so please have some shippy headcanons about them because I'm going insane. They came out of nowhere and took over my neurons

This is a really long post btw so beware

OKAY, ready?

in my mind I think Begruvia would prefer holding Andrews than being held simply from the sense of control that he gets - but also I think he’d have a secret soft spot for being held, too because it makes him feel safe. But specifically only from Andrews

I think Begruvia would be clingy. I can’t exactly explain why? It just kind of makes sense to me. Maybe something about all that pining or being worried about losing it all, idk. I also think he'd be very protective about Andrews, even if he never openly admits it. But he'll go out of his way to make sure Andrews is okay. Like anyone even vaguely threatening Andrews? Beguriva is instantly staring daggers at them somewhere nearby with fire in his eyes if they even so much as try anything

I think Begruvia would be the one to fall first, but it would be really reallllllyyyy gradual. Like sooooo so slow. Like think slow burn, but the slow burn takes an actual 2000 years before it stars burning. That’s how long it takes him to realize. And it’s not until they meet again that he’s like, 'wait. What. What are these like. Feelings???' And then he realizes that like, the revenge that he thought he wanted/the anger that he felt was actually just him pining for 2000 or so years

I don’t know about Andrews, though… I think he wouldn’t even consider it until after the 2000 years and maybe takes sympathy on Begruvia and then after a while he falls, too - though I imagine it would also be pretty gradual (but not 2000 years gradual, lol)

They would live in Andrews house for... Kind of obvious reasons (Begruvia does NOT have a house) but I imagine it would take them some time to get used to. In my mind they would have started sharing a bed out of either necessity or Andrews being like "I need to keep an eye on you" and then after a while it just becomes a habit

I think Andrews would do most of the house work, half because it’s his house and half because Begruvia doesn’t really do anything

I don’t think he’d mind, though. I think he’d just ask Begruvia to do basic stuff

Maybe he teaches Begruvia how to cook and for a while Andrews is the better cook out of the two of them, but then after learning Begruvia turns out to be wayyyyy better than Andrews so Andrews has him do most of the cooking, lol. I think Begruvia would enjoy cooking

I think Andrews would be better at baking, though? Idk. I just see them making deserts together 

On the other hand, Andrews does like. All of the cleaning. He asks Begruvia to do the dishes and he just. Never does. And Andrews reminds him tons and tons of times - and maybe he does it once or twice (or when Andrews is sick/tired and he almost feels bad) but after a while Andrews just gives up asking him because he knows it won’t happen

They do the shopping together, though, even if Andrews sometimes regrets it

I think Beguriva would convince Andrews for them to get a cat (I think Begruvia would be a cat lover)

That or he ‘convinces’ Andrews and Andrews had been against it before because it was a lot of work and he didn’t really know how to take care of a cat or if they could, but then Begruvia just like. Finds a kitten and brings it home one day and Andrews is just like “well shit, I guess we have a cat now because there’s no way we’re giving it away” and so then they have a cat

Andrews very quickly loves this cat

Begruvia gets to name it, though, and it’s the most wild name ever so Andrews either shortens it or gives it a nickname

I think it would be a tortoiseshell cat

Begruvia hears the cat’s breed/color/whatever you call that and gets angry about it because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘TORTOISE-SHELL’ IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A TORTOISE SHELL AT ALL”

I think the cat would like Begruvia more and it makes Andrews sad

Andrews will call the cat and it will completely ignore him, but then Begruvia calls from across the house and the cat is like !!! and goes running and Andrews is like, wtf why... :C

Over time I think Begruvia would learn to enjoy living a quiet life. At first I can imagine him being bored all of the time and just wanting to do things and cause chaos, but after a few years he kind of realizes that he likes the quietness of it all and just living alone with Andrews is nice and that’s all he wants in life

Okay, I'm going to inevitably have more thoughts, but for now I think that's more than enough - but if I think of more I will add them in the reblogs. Thank you for listening to my ramblings about these two, I love them - if you have any ideas please feel free to share