#Or sorry

[hidden-by-a-trench-coat]

Hi, hello STFH fandom??? Yeah, I know a new longform just came out but I can't get Phantom Begruvia and Father Andrews out of my head for absolutely no reason so please have some shippy headcanons about them because I'm going insane. They came out of nowhere and took over my neurons

This is a really long post btw so beware

OKAY, ready?

in my mind I think Begruvia would prefer holding Andrews than being held simply from the sense of control that he gets - but also I think he’d have a secret soft spot for being held, too because it makes him feel safe. But specifically only from Andrews

I think Begruvia would be clingy. I can’t exactly explain why? It just kind of makes sense to me. Maybe something about all that pining or being worried about losing it all, idk. I also think he'd be very protective about Andrews, even if he never openly admits it. But he'll go out of his way to make sure Andrews is okay. Like anyone even vaguely threatening Andrews? Beguriva is instantly staring daggers at them somewhere nearby with fire in his eyes if they even so much as try anything

I think Begruvia would be the one to fall first, but it would be really reallllllyyyy gradual. Like sooooo so slow. Like think slow burn, but the slow burn takes an actual 2000 years before it stars burning. That’s how long it takes him to realize. And it’s not until they meet again that he’s like, 'wait. What. What are these like. Feelings???' And then he realizes that like, the revenge that he thought he wanted/the anger that he felt was actually just him pining for 2000 or so years

I don’t know about Andrews, though… I think he wouldn’t even consider it until after the 2000 years and maybe takes sympathy on Begruvia and then after a while he falls, too - though I imagine it would also be pretty gradual (but not 2000 years gradual, lol)

They would live in Andrews house for... Kind of obvious reasons (Begruvia does NOT have a house) but I imagine it would take them some time to get used to. In my mind they would have started sharing a bed out of either necessity or Andrews being like "I need to keep an eye on you" and then after a while it just becomes a habit

I think Andrews would do most of the house work, half because it’s his house and half because Begruvia doesn’t really do anything

I don’t think he’d mind, though. I think he’d just ask Begruvia to do basic stuff

Maybe he teaches Begruvia how to cook and for a while Andrews is the better cook out of the two of them, but then after learning Begruvia turns out to be wayyyyy better than Andrews so Andrews has him do most of the cooking, lol. I think Begruvia would enjoy cooking

I think Andrews would be better at baking, though? Idk. I just see them making deserts together 

On the other hand, Andrews does like. All of the cleaning. He asks Begruvia to do the dishes and he just. Never does. And Andrews reminds him tons and tons of times - and maybe he does it once or twice (or when Andrews is sick/tired and he almost feels bad) but after a while Andrews just gives up asking him because he knows it won’t happen

They do the shopping together, though, even if Andrews sometimes regrets it

I think Beguriva would convince Andrews for them to get a cat (I think Begruvia would be a cat lover)

That or he ‘convinces’ Andrews and Andrews had been against it before because it was a lot of work and he didn’t really know how to take care of a cat or if they could, but then Begruvia just like. Finds a kitten and brings it home one day and Andrews is just like “well shit, I guess we have a cat now because there’s no way we’re giving it away” and so then they have a cat

Andrews very quickly loves this cat

Begruvia gets to name it, though, and it’s the most wild name ever so Andrews either shortens it or gives it a nickname

I think it would be a tortoiseshell cat

Begruvia hears the cat’s breed/color/whatever you call that and gets angry about it because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘TORTOISE-SHELL’ IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A TORTOISE SHELL AT ALL”

I think the cat would like Begruvia more and it makes Andrews sad

Andrews will call the cat and it will completely ignore him, but then Begruvia calls from across the house and the cat is like !!! and goes running and Andrews is like, wtf why... :C

Over time I think Begruvia would learn to enjoy living a quiet life. At first I can imagine him being bored all of the time and just wanting to do things and cause chaos, but after a few years he kind of realizes that he likes the quietness of it all and just living alone with Andrews is nice and that’s all he wants in life

Okay, I'm going to inevitably have more thoughts, but for now I think that's more than enough - but if I think of more I will add them in the reblogs. Thank you for listening to my ramblings about these two, I love them - if you have any ideas please feel free to share

[justarandombrit]

Hey, District 9 fandom (all two of you), I feel the need to inform you that today my friend, who has not seen the movie, referred to Wikus as, quote, "Wicklesburg Sucklesburg" and I have been losing my shit ever since

[tiptapricot]

Beloved follower scrolling their dash. You are about to enter a little spam reblog zone of tiger n bunny bc I had a moment tonight. Uhhh have fun

[hotdiggitydog-billy]

I think as a grad student you should get one free pass for murder. I would use mine on the faculty lighting designer who's fucking up my show right now.

[d3jha]

I have tabs from before I had an Ao3 account

[sleepytwilight]

If one day, I wake up.

And find out Arcky is like Belghepor from obey me but the only difference is he lost his memories.

I will commit genocide run in undertale for the hundreds time and kill Sans again and again

[mieczyhale]

“they didn’t bring anything creative or new to the song”

THEY BROUGHT THEIR EMOTIONS, THEIR VOICE, AND THE DRIVE OF EXPERIENCES WE ONLY KNOW PIECES OF

TF YOU MEAN THEY DIDN’T BRING ANYTHING

[crystalis]

anytime i see something gay on my dash and dont see the icon/url right away im like “i bet alaska posted this” and yeah… im always right

wow... thats crazy

[isabelopaque]

how my brain picks a new favorite character who sucks

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[hamletthedane]

I just found the earliest email I ever sent from my email address, and it’s the funniest goddamn thing I can possibly imagine a fourth grader sending her teacher:

(Context - my fourth grade teacher was on maternity leave, and the class had conferenced at recess regarding the poor state of the classroom goldfish’s tank. We decided to inform our (24yo, new mother) former teacher of the dire situation, and I was selected as the duly appointed representative for this solemn communication.)

[the-elder-polls]

appalachia is devastated. towns i loved, towns i visited all the time, are gone. not damaged, GONE. they are leveled to the ground. there is nothing left but rubble and ruin. people are dead. appalachia is poor to begin with and relies on tourism for a lot of its income, and multiple of those tourist locations are just...gone.

my town is okay, but it's flooded and wrecked. trees are blocking all but one way out of our neighborhood. power lines are hanging limp in the roads. we've been without power for over 24 hours and will continue to be without power for likely another 24+. disabled people and poor people are GOING to die from this. gods save appalachia.

[robyn-i-guess]

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

[astronnova]

yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world