#just ignore how much it effects his quality of life!

[agaric25]

yeah i get genetic modification is bad and horrible and all that but to be jal doing some epic parkour in a dark room for like 2 hours would cure any sadness

[capseycartwright]

can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la

Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right? - or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.

written for week one of @summerofbuddie- mixed media. the mixed media part of this fic is eddie's big gay playlist, and is full of what i believe to be all of eddie's favourite queer music. pls enjoy.

ao3 link

Buck had always thought that Eddie was beautiful. He knew how that sounded – but even when he had thought he was straight, Buck had always felt quite comfortable in his masculinity. Men were beautiful. Okay, sure, with the benefit of hindsight, it was long-buried bisexuality threatening to burst to the surface, but the point stood: Eddie Diaz had always been beautiful to Buck. 

Physically, yes, he was beautiful. He had these big brown eyes that had always been incredibly effective at getting Buck to do all the things Eddie didn’t want to do –  small things, like driving (of course, because Eddie was a passenger princess at heart, and Buck was more than happy to indulge), and cooking, until Eddie had begun to find a love for that himself, and the bigger things too, like agreeing to be Eddie’s medical proxy, and being Christopher’s guardian in case – well, Buck didn’t like to articulate the rest of that one. It felt like jinxing it, so he always left it at ‘in case’ – nothing else needed to be said.

Eddie was physically beautiful – he had the softest brown hair Buck had ever come across, and a sweet grin that got him more than his fair share of attention on calls, and firefighting had packed on a lot of muscle over the years, so maybe he wasn’t the proud owner of an eight-pack, anymore, but Eddie’s body was strong, and capable, and Buck felt that was beautiful too. 

Eddie was gorgeous, was the thing – but he wasn’t just physically beautiful. Eddie Diaz had a really beautiful personality, too. It had taken a while for him to allow Buck to get to know it – and not just Buck, for everyone else, too – but when Eddie had decided to let people in, and see who he truly was, underneath the somewhat gruff exterior, there has been so much beauty there. Eddie was kind, kind in a way that Buck could only admire, genuine in his kindness. Buck could see where Christopher got it from.

Eddie was gentle, too. Buck knew most people would doubt that, given the life Eddie led – an army veteran with a penchant for street fighting and Muay Thai – but Buck knew better. Those were all circumstances, responses to a life filled with trauma, and underneath all of that, Eddie was the gentlest person he knew. Eddie would always be the one who carefully picked up spiders, and bees, if they found their way into the firehouse, or Buck’s apartment, or his own home, and he’d coo gently as he brought them to the window, setting them free before anyone (Buck, usually) could hit them with a stray hardback novel. Eddie liked to garden, a collection of brightly coloured flowers growing in the front bed right outside his porch, Eddie humming to himself as he watered them, the image one Buck hoped would be seared into his memory forever.

Eddie was gentle with Christopher. Buck hadn’t exactly grown up with a father he aspired to be like �� Philip had been cold, and distant, and though Buck understood why now, he would never forgive it. Eddie had been through his fair share of heartbreak, and trauma, and yet he still raised Christopher with a gentle hand, guiding his son through life in a way Buck had never experienced himself. He was glad to be able to watch it, though, watch as Eddie learned from his own mistakes, and apologised to Chris, and did better for his son every day. 

Eddie was gentle with Buck.

Buck was a lot, he knew – he was loud, and talkative, and the undiagnosed ADHD he definitely had made it so both of those qualities were amplified when he was stressed, or anxious, which was frankly, a lot of the time. Buck knew he earned his eyerolls and exasperated looks – but never from Eddie. Eddie always listened, attentive and eager to learn as Buck went off on tangent about the latest fun thing he learned. Eddie was the first to suggest a gym session, when he knew Buck was antsier than normal, suggesting they work off some of his nervous energy before their next call.

Eddie had been there after the truck bombing, gentle as he had torn down Buck’s already shaky walls, gentle as he helped Buck in, and out of bed, gentle as he’d helped him shower, shrugging off Buck’s thanks with a ‘you’d do the same for me’ and a smile. 

(Buck would do the same for Eddie – he would do anything for Eddie.)

Eddie was beautiful. Eddie was beautiful when he smiled, when he laughed, Eddie was beautiful in every single conceivable way to Buck –

But this might be the most beautiful Buck had ever seen his best friend.

read the rest on ao3

[m1ssunderstanding]

Notes on Nowhere Boy

Finally posting the long version of the close-watch I did for @sleeper9's Fete zine. The bad thing about me is I hate spending money and love pirating shitty quality versions of movies. The good thing about the Beatles fandom is we're used to dealing with grainy pics. Anyways, here goes!

The opening ten seconds really do set the tone for the film, and here's why. It's the opening of A Hard Day’s Night where the boys are running from a hoard of screaming fans and George biffs it. John sees him go down, laughs, and keeps running. Only here, it's just John. George’s fall has been erased, making John into a cocky, if slightly insane, little lone hero. 

Mimi: do I ignore you? No. So please don't ignore me. Me: ummm, yeah you do ignore him, Mimi. Enough to leave deep psychological scars. But it's fine. Moving on.

Ugh, Uncle George is so sweet! I wonder how much of John's sweetness he learned from him. I wish we knew more about him.

Actually that was Jim that set up a cord running into Paul's room from the radio downstairs. But it fits Uncle George's character, so it works. 

Why did they make Mendips look a lot more working class than it actually was? No fancy iron fence, no pretty hexagonal outcropping, no stained glass veranda? 

Aaron Taylor Johnson is nailing it though. The laugh sounds very John, and this posture? Perfect. 

Okay but if that doesn't heartbreakingly encapsulate John and Mimi I don't know what does. Uncle George has just died. John goes to Mimi, wraps her from behind in a tight embrace and lets out a sob. Her response is to push him away. “Please, let's not be silly. If you want to do that, go to your room.” Alright, it's making me feel things, it's winning me over. 

John making his cousin Stan go and ask Mimi where Julia is is also extremely accurate. Always had someone to do the dirty work for them, all of them. 

Mimi's concern as John's going to visit his mother in the “bad” part of town is very good to have in too. “And you will be careful, hmm? Careful who you talk to.” And John's response, “it's only Blackpool, Mimi.” It's true. It could've been Speke, or the Dingle. Which Quarryman did I read saying Mimi didn't like John even leaving Woolton?

John's hurt little face when he finds out his mum, all this time, has been less than a bus ride away is a very clever way to show us his painful confusion about the whole situation. 

Trying to remind myself that this is a very anti-Julia pro-Mimi movie that will try to make me think she's crazy. But it sure is doing a hell of a good job. She hasn't seen him in years and suddenly she's hand feeding him desserts, kissing him every chance she's got, flirting all over the place. “Do you know what it means? Rock and Roll? Sex.” “Don't tell Mimi, alright? This is our little secret. Promise me.” And to a poor affection-starved boy, that's going to feel good. That's going to put thoughts in his head like “this is how it should be”. I mean I know she was wild and fun and sexy and irresponsible. And I know John did have weird thoughts about her. But I hope she wasn't actually this crazy. 

But the weird Freudian thing aside, he's got to be so terribly confused hearing the woman who effectively abandoned him declaring her love for him. Between Mimi and Julia, John would've had such a messed up idea of what that word meant. 

The Daily Howl, my absolute beloved!!

Nowhere Boy John watching Elvis: damn I've gotta get the girls screaming for me like that! Actual John watching Elvis: he's so beautiful! He's perfect! I'm in love!

Also I do not think sixteen year old John was that good at fingering. Just saying. 

This part always drops my heart cold into my stomach. Poor John. Poor poor baby. You can hear his little boy voice calling, “mum? It's me.” And she mutters, very annoyed, “go away.” Again. I have to remind myself that this is a purposely negative portrait of Julia. But then. It is true that she was a mostly absent and wholly undependable figure in John's life. 

Sometimes dialogue is absolutely perfect. Like this – “Aw, why couldn't God make me Elvis Presley?” “Cause he was saving you for John Lennon.” “Aw I'll get you back for that, God!” And this – “you haven't told Mimi, have you?” “No point going through her bullocks if I don't have to.” “Why? She has to go through yours.” “Yeah well I never asked her to, did I?”

Ugh this whole movie just hurts so bad! How he looks to Julia as Mimi is ordering him out of her house, just begging her to claim him this time. And she doesn't until he makes a stand for himself. And then, later. “How long can I stay?” Is met with nothing. Not even a fake “long as you want, love.” It really plays into the title of the film. This boy's got nowhere to call home. And then, the final straw. Look at his face as he hears Julia agree that he does in fact need to go back to Mimi's. If I did that kind of thing, I'd actually be crying right now. Fuck, why was I knit-picking, this movie is working so well. 

 As he's announcing he's leaving Julia's, John wants her to tell him to stay. To at least pretend it's not what she wants. And she doesn't even look at him. Imagine if they did something like this in the John biopic mirrored with a scene with Paul in the breakup?

He's just so adorable looking at that guitar like he can't believe it's real.

John's gathered the og Quarrymen in the bathroom and Pete goes “I take it we're not here for a communal crap.” Idk Pete, wouldn't put it past him. It's not far off what you all do already.

It's making the Quarrymen look kinda cool here, and I really want them all to be shit except John, just because that's what I get from Paul's description. Not that he's biased or anything. He could've been watching John play with Elton John and David Bowie and he'd still say everyone faded into the background. 

Also Mimi would Not have been there. Not on her life. 

Okay now we're sort of seeing them from Paul's perspective. Bunch of losers surrounding this inimitable shining star. 

Accurate that the first thing John says to Paul is about jerking off. 

The dynamic in general is just so well-done in this first scene. John instantly testing Paul. How much shit will he put up with? And Paul instantly having none of it, showing off, and winning John over. 

All the other Quarrymen just know it's time to dust off the ole resume. 

But! Paul's fete “audition” is so toned down for this film. Although of course, accounts vary. He did 20 flight rock, yeah. But he also did it on someone's borrowed right hand guitar turned upside down. And he did little Richard and played the piano, and tuned John's guitar for him. In one telling of it, John says he asked him to be in the group right there on the spot. So. Yeah. 

But either way, watching John watch Paul is just gorgeously gay. It's giving extreme “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” It's actually illegal not to queerbate using Lennon/McCartney and I'm glad all moviemakers seem to understand the law.

Cut to “John, your little friend's here!” Can you imagine if they'd showed the “chalk and cheese” whirling dervish moment? Or Mimi making Paul use the back door? Those might change some thoughts and feelings in this movie. 

And then we get the reciprocated “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” Moment as Paul's too busy checking out John’s buddy Holly Look to remember where he is, let alone what cord they're on. And it's so sweet because Paul's the first person who gives John the idea that his real self is actually cooler than his tough-guy act. 

The little matching feet tapping?? Eee it's so cute! 

But why miss the opportunity for them to sing in harmony here?

Sometimes the dialogue is extremely inaccurate. “So mummy’s cool about baby Paul wanting to be Elvis?” “Oh she would've loved it.” Like hell she would've. She would've been as disapproving as Mimi. Then again, maybe it is accurate for Paul to be lying about that.

“Well she – she sort of – died. You know, em. If we're gonna do this we should write our own stuff.” Okay yep there he is. That's Paul. 

Also love how John gets his first calluses after Paul the bossy taskmaster comes into his life. (You know. And the reason to push himself and a person who cares enough to take the time to show him things and it makes John all dreamy staring at the stars that night etc) Anyway. It's perfect. 

And the first gig we see after Paul joins is in a venue on a real stage with a much bigger audience, and the matching suits of course. 

Mimi selling John's guitar because of a bad report card is like the lighter, kinder translation of what happened in reality when she had his dog put down while he was staying at Julia's. 

So they kinda make up for not letting Paul sing etc by having him nail the guitar instead of screw up at this gig like he did irl. 

And he's stealing Julia's attention, which is clearly Not okay with John. Reminds me of that quote of Paul's about how they were both in love with John's mum. 

George is appropriately infantile. Good. Cutie. 

The Quarrymen playing “That's Alright, Mama” as John's making up with Julia since she bought his guitar back for him. Okay. Very clever. 

Paul does Not like John disrespecting his mother after the show for obvious reasons. (“I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.”) But clearly he doesn't have the full picture here. I wonder at what point irl Paul got a full run-down from John on his messed-up family life. Or did he just have to pull it together piece by piece over the years?

And of course he jumps to light Julia's cigarette. Boy was patting his pocket for a lighter like it was the race of his life. Mister steal your mum.

Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, Paul McCartney’s number two complaint about this movie: John was Not taller than him. How dare they? Slander.  

That's one hell of a jacket.

At the party, John's of course pissed to find Paul serenading Julia in the kitchen. But Paul just wants a mommy so bad, John. Why can't you just let him have yours since you clearly don't want her? Right, because you really, really do. More than anyone can understand. But when you showed her that – how bad you wanted her to be your mum, not just a friend – she hurt you. Forced you to go through your abandonment all over again. So now you can't show that anymore. 

The washboard over Pete's head is almost exactly accurate, isn't it? John does not handle people leaving him well. 

Ugh his little voice cracking on the word “mum.” John Lennon is a poor poor baby and I will die on that hill.

I wonder how John did find out about Victoria and the real story of why he was with Mimi. No matter how, though, that's certainly a lot of mess for a young man to be carrying around with him all the time in his head. 

“When your father came back from the merchant Navy, he wanted to try and save the marriage, but your mother would have none of it.” I do feel like we're going with Alf’s version of events here, the one he sold John in order to get into his good graces after he was famous. Which is, again, not fair to Julia. I wonder how little Julia feels about this movie. 

In fact, I think this part –  “who do you wanna be with, John? Do you wanna be with me or do you wanna be with your mum?” – has been categorically disproven. But it certainly does make for some high drama. And John himself did believe his father's story, so there has to be at least some emotional truth there. 

Nowhere Boy John: There's no point in hating someone you love. I mean really love. IRL John: How do you sleep, you cunt?!

There he is. Art School John. Though he fell in love with every iteration of John, I think this one never left his head because he was one of the earliest Johns, and he was a John Paul had to fight for, you know, with all the Stu business and dead mother anger.

He really does an excellent job of playing John, though, when he's written right. “Woman took her kit off and we painted her breasts. Not actually physically. I got my eye on you two.” Ridiculous. Charming. Off- putting. Adorable. 

Ignoring the fact that I prefer to think of “Hello, Little Girl” as being about Paul (“you never seem to see me standing there”) and they're making it about Julia, this is a lovely scene. With John somewhat unsure still of his songwriting abilities and Paul looking up at him from the floor full of admiration. 

Oh he's gonna murder someone. To be fair, I think playing Julia's banjo at her funeral is exactly the type of insensitive thing Paul would do, because he just thinks and feels in music and it makes Sense to him even though of course it's going to piss John off. 

Hilarious, and probably accurate tbh, that Paul's pissed John off so he gives Pete a bloody nose.

But here we go, the number one complaint about this movie from Paul, which I think is actually valid. John never hit him and that was important to both of them and it's disrespectful to portray it and play into the myth of their rocky, angry relationship. 

But maybe in 2009 that's what it took for them to be able to show John Lennon and Paul McCartney in a genuine, loving embrace, crying into each other's necks about mothers. It has to be preceded by John punching Paul in the mouth. 

If I was John's writing partner, my biggest beef with this movie would actually be the scene where they're recording ISOATD and making it look like John wrote it and played the guitar solo. But Paul's never even mentioned it. Which I guess really shows he cares far more about the legacy of his relationship with John than his career legacy. Which. If you mean more to Paul McCartney than his fucking music? Well then you must be just about important enough to have your own movie. 

This is really the Vote for Mimi Smith campaign, isn't it? Putting across the screen the fact that John called Mimi every week until he died as “Mother” plays in the background is brutal. Ouch. But it's true. “It's Mimi time.”

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thoughts on Jason Todd’s choice of weaponry?

:D an ask! Yay!

Oooh, lets see, I'll start with the crowbars because I appear to be like one of three people on the entire planet who actually likes them.

They're a tacky as fuck riff on the fact that Jason's death is central to his character. They overemphasize the manner in which he died, muddy the waters about what part of his death is important to him, and strangely cheapens the manner in which he died through the parody feel of it.

No one seems to really disagree with my analysis here, but I happen to enjoy that about them and think it's very on brand for Jason. What can I say? They're fun!

Best Quality - His Wiggles

This ultra-sharp curved blade used to be his signature character design feature, the way the white streak in his hair is now, and I'm really not sure why it didn't stick!

Best weapon he's ever had, bring it back please!!!!!

The All-Blades

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

I have mixed feelings about the All-Blades. Like much of Lobdell's work: phenomenal idea, poor execution. Giving the guy who is most known for being morally grey a set of powers that is exclusively based on moral absolutes sucks shit, I gotta be honest, and the trick he pulled on the blood blade was cool but ultimately does nothing to solve those problems.

HOWEVER

I want to love them so fucking badly. A set of glowy soul blades is a dope sicknasty off the chain concept and I wish the well wasn't poisoned with the moral implications and the restrictions to use them only on the "Untitled", a set of enemies that only exist for Jason so far as I can tell. If someone seriously took Jason down a magic based path that removed the DnD alignment chart bullshit, I would be so game to see them come back! Hell I wouldn't even insist on a better cooler design for them!

...though uh, yeah those are the least interesting magic sword designs I've ever seen tbh

Normal Ass Swords

They're alright I guess. Like, there's nothing in it really, but it's not bad?

Guns - Real Bullets

Excellent, evocative yet simple, straightforwards and to the point. It makes hella sense thematically to boot, love this for him, please give him back his pistols and miniguns and shit

Guns - Rubber Bullets

Hate. HATE. hate ick disgusting bad NO.

I just fucking hate rubber bullets, like, as a concept. I refuse to accept "non-lethal" bullets as a valid use of gun, either in real life or in fiction. Guns are for putting many holes in things very fast!!!! If you're gonna use a gun, fucking well own up to that!!! Do not play this silly ass game of pretending that you can change out the material and do the same things as with lead bullets but with the video game status effect of "non-lethal" applied. YOU ARE GIVING PEOPLE SMALL CIRCULAR BRUISES. This is still harmful, yes, ooph ouchie, but it is not even slightly a good use of a gun, you are wasting holster space, and carry weight, and the physical materials used to make it all!!

JUST USE A FUCKING STICK! YOU DON'T RUN OUT OF STICK AMMO!

My belief in his capacity to take out enemies is shattered the instant those fuckers are on panel. Maybe this ain't entirely rational, or realistic to how fights go with rubber bullets IRL, but I hate them so much on principle that I will ignore any counterargument you might have that they'd work. I will die on this hill. Rubber bullets BAD. Please stop making him use this!!

Bombs

Love it, give him more bombs forever

ka-BOOM!!!!

His Brain

This is actually his best weapon - sorry wiggly knife, you're being shunted down to number 2 on a last minute technicality! I think Jason is at his best when he's outsmarting people and making long term fucked up schemes to ruin people's lives.

He's so good at it! It's so fun to watch him do it!

Genuinely a shame that this facet of him was mostly lost after Flashpoint, though to give credit where it is due, in Rebirth Jason did ruin the Penguin's life in an impressively elaborate way, which I did really enjoy. I want to see him be a tactical deliberate menace to one person in specific again idk, that's part of why I do kinda agree that he works better as an antagonist than a protagonist - which it should be noted does not mean I think he works better as a villain necessarily, his ethics aren't what matter here - he's just had his best moments as the schemer, and it's hard to have a protagonist schemer even when you make them ethically the good guy.

I hope you enjoyed my nattering on about Jason's weapons :D thank ye again for ask!

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Ah hello! I'd seen your post that you were accepting requests and I was wondering if perhaps you could do a request with Azul or the twins having a mermaid friend they'd known since childhood come visit them one day and they realize that they're in love with them?

I really hope this isn't too much and that it follows your rules, if not then please feel free to ignore! I hope you have a wonderful day my dear and keep up the amazing work!!!

Azul Ashengrotto:

Being an eel merperson, you had quite the effect on Azul when you first met him. He was already being pestered by two other eels which left him in denial about the little crush he had on you. It was something that was quickly squashed as Azul thought it really was just admiration for how you boldly took what you wanted and took up as much space as you felt like without a care in the world. It did help that you didn’t tease him the same way the tweels did, separating you from them in his mind so he could start to view you in a more romantic life. You had a kindness within you that they didn’t, a quality Azul himself didn’t have which he valued in you to an extent. When you come to visit it truly does feel like things had never changed, the comfort you had around each other remaining and the banter freely flowing. Azul had gambled with becoming your friend and won, but was he really willing to risk it all because of this inherent need to keep you by his side? He wasn’t sure if that was a deal he could sign off on.  

Floyd Leech:

Being an octopus merperson, you had been a little shier when you were younger, perfectly brought out by a particular twin who couldn’t quite leave you alone. You had been scared that Floyd would tease you but there was a lack of animosity in his teasing remarks, something that had you feeling like you were on equal ground; you had no problem firing back when you had to. You had always swatted at him when he made comments about Azul which had worried the others at first, but the amused smile on Floyd’s face made him seem oddly happy about you striking back. The friendship was a little unexpected but it had proven to be long-lasting as you kept in contact with him even when he went away to NRC. He had whined often that he missed you and to just save up for the potion so you could visit him. Floyd doesn’t really question his newfound feelings for you as he never was one to disrupt his own flow, simply riding the wave and seeing where it would take him.

Jade Leech:

Being a shark merperson, you cut a rather intimidating figure and there weren’t many who willingly chose to befriend you. A life of solitude hadn’t mattered much to you until two insistent twins started bothering you, the less (outwardly) chaotic of the two proving as stubborn as a barnacle. You had begrudgingly accepted friendship at first but found the ocean was full of color when you viewed it alongside Jade. Jade, who was self-aware enough to know that the longing he felt wasn’t something he felt to just anyone, would be able ot properly prepare himself if he knew you were coming for a visit. But if you showed up suddenly as a surprise, in a human form he’d never seen before, there’s an unexpected typhoon of emotion that has him a little lost at sea. Neither Azul nor Floyd were used to seeing Jade go adrift like that, the twin ever prepared for most ‘surprises’ but it seemed you were one that his heart couldn’t account for.

[overdressedcarp]

Aventurine, Dr. Ratio, and Ruan Mei for the character ask! (Love ur Aventio fic btw).

Thank you for the ask! I had fun doing these. (Also I'm glad you're enjoying the fic! I am sitting in my authorial hobbit hole with a big smile on my face.)

Aventurine

Clarifications (yellow boxes):

I don't see as many bad Aventurine takes as I do for Ratio, but I do think his rough edges often get watered down in a way that either justifies or ignores his canonical flaws. So "they got done dirty by fans" and "wow! they are a horrible person" both get soft nods because I think his character deserves to be both sympathetic and kind of an ass sometimes. (The other issue I see is people acting like he's vulnerable and helpless, which is just. fundamentally not true? He's not as secure in himself as he pretends to be, but he is a ruthlessly competent strategist, and he knows how to read people and give them what they want to see. He's a member of the Ten Stonehearts for a reason.)

"If they were real I would be afraid of them" alright let me explain. The 2.1 story did a masterful job of humanizing Aventurine, but his first impressions in 2.0 were fine-tuned to be unnerving, and it was really effective for me as a player. For a while I couldn't articulate why it made me uncomfortable, but @starcurtain did a great analysis on female influence in Aventurine's life, which touched on how his early interactions with the Trailblazer are designed to be intimidating and off-putting in a way that channels the sort of masculine dominance Aventurine has historically experienced at the hands of other men. Suffice to say: if it served his plans for me to be afraid of him, he knows how to do it, and it would work.

Also I forgot to mark "why do they look like that" on the bingo but I do think Hoyo should have given him more melanin considering how deeply Romani-coded his culture is. Everything else about his design slaps though.

Ratio

Clarifications:

"Wasted potential" is subjective because I've loved every moment we've gotten of Ratio onscreen, but damn do I want the game to delve deeper into his backstory and his dynamics with other characters (I'm still sad that so far Aventurine is the only character that has a voice line about him).

"Deeper than they seem" and "not as deep as they seem" exist in a paradoxical state for me because I do think some folks stop at the surface reading of "arrogant asshole" when he's got way more going on in his character stories and his actions in canon... but I also think some people err on the side of taking him too seriously, in a way that likewise takes something away from his character. Like, this is the guy who plays chess with himself and trash-talks from both sides of the table like a goddamn cartoon character. He owns at least one rubber duck and takes a bath with it every day. He likes all of Aventurine's social media posts and replies "Heh." to anything he finds vaguely amusing. This is not a serious man.

"Why do they look like that" okay I need to clarify that this is not a criticism. I love Ratio's design. The neoclassical vibes are impeccable. But it's also extra in a way that I feel morally obligated to call out, considering how much he rags on Aventurine for dressing like a peacock. Sir, you walk around in robes and sandals with an alabaster bust on your head; you have no room to talk about subtle fashion choices.

Ruan Mei

Clarifications:

Ruan Mei gets both "they are so cool looking" and "why do they look like that" because I love the theory behind her design (the DNA elements, the embroidery and floral imagery, the qipao paired with the pearl necklace) but she also has the unfortunate distinction of being a female character in a Hoyoverse game, so the more unique details fall prey to the homogenizing force of the male gaze.

Another case of "they got done dirty by fans" and "wow! they are a terrible person" existing in tandem, but in Ruan Mei's case I think some people reduce her down to her worst qualities without acknowledging the more complex aspects of her character. Her unchecked pursuit of knowledge leads to her doing Objectively Bad Things, but I don't think it's a fair (or particularly interesting) reading to portray her as heartless.

I thought about marking "wasted potential" because imo 1.6 wasn't nearly enough to delve into Everything Going on with This Woman, but it seems like they're setting up something for a future patch, so I'm content to wait and see what the writers have planned. I'm really excited to find out what she's doing with those leviathan fossils and Tingyun's wrecked ship.

Link to the character bingo template

[wardensantoineandevka]

Not sure if I'm still in time for the asks but what is your favorite thing about your ex-husband?

My beautiful and charming ex-husband Jonas Spahr, the last—former and final—Prime Consector of the Trust! He has many wonderful and interesting qualities, but the one that I like most is that he was not until very recently someone I would describe as in possession of a spine.

This is an odd choice on its face, but it's my favorite because it is the crux and (hah) spine of his character and his arc, that he does not really have one. I've written recently a post about his narrative passivity and in the past another about that passivity as a connecting parallel between two keystone scenes. I've talked a LOT about this, and a lot of this is going to be generally repeating those posts, but I'm going for it anyway because I'm obsessed with his narrative passivity and how much work he puts into maintaining his inaction.

His historical inability to dig his heels in and eagerness to come to heel ("The Trust has you on a fuckin' leash.") is such an interesting quality against his simultaneous struggle to feel like he has agency and power over his own life and choices. It's interesting to watch him fight against a very real lack of authority and agency within the institution he serves and for which he acts as its agent among the people while watching him repeatedly shrink back into line and watch him realize that he has been purposefully enabling, allowing, and ignoring what goes on in front of him and deferring his own agency.

It's also such a fun thing about him because it feels to stand in stark juxtaposition against an apparent stubbornness and a clear capacity for conviction. He has moments where he so clearly has strongly held beliefs—and then he's so easily cowed into backing off from fighting for them. This is a man who refused to defend himself at his own trial where the government he betrayed himself for blamed him for everything that's ever gone wrong for them in the series: he simply apologized for it all. There is a sense about him that he can be incredibly decisive and effective, but he spends so much of the narrative uncertain and ineffective in everything he does or is part of because of this tendency. (In a way, he splits the difference between his mentor Costigan and his mentee Phineas.) The few times he does choose to do something, he loses momentum because he is easily frightened out of it. He lacks spine! The contradiction is fascinating to me. He's trapped in place as a narrative actor. Everything he does is in vain or futile. It is because he is maintaining and protecting his own passivity and allowing or facilitating nasty events as a means to maintain social position, even as he hates feeling trapped out of what happens around him.

It's also just SO fun because when he HAS finally done something, it's again a refusal and an immovability. But, this time, it is an active action to refuse to do as told and a choice to stand fixed in place and halt a lot of the momentum of the situation.

Jonas Spahr, for so much of the series, is weak-willed, timid, and irresolute, and it's one of my favorite things about him because it's added a lot of depth to his character and made for an interesting arc. It has been so satisfying watching him learn to dig his heels in rather than heel.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Okay so I don’t think my ask went thru bc I sent a link to a fic and I forgot that Tumblr doesn’t like actual links on anon. Anyways, ignore this if you still received the other one! I saw this fic and immediately thought you’d devour it… but I saw someone else already sent it to you! (The professional dom one :3)

I cannot stress enough how much that fic makes me insane. I had to close my laptop screen no less than six times so I could walk away and gather myself before continuing on. Because holy crap. Anyway! I also read another fic that I thought you would like, however, it is a Scott/Logan fic. I’m not sure if you jive with that so I’m not going to link it here unless you’re chill with it. 

Top!Logan who mauls the life out of his very willing, very enthusiastic partners will always be something I will eat up like a fish deprived of water. I don’t have many mutuals who vibe with poolverine as hard as I do that I can send these to, so as the designated Top!Logan and Trans!Poolverine connoisseur of this corner of the internet… I am gently placing this on your doorstep. 

It is so solidified in my mind that Logan will try to devour his partners whole if they’re wanting and willing. He wants to bite and claim what’s his. But I also see him wanting that exact same energy back. If you will allow me to elaborate here for a brief minute:

Logan would want to feel like he belongs to someone else just as much as he wants his beloveds to belong to him. In this case, Wade. He and Wade are obviously matched in ways that others cannot even begin to comprehend. Wade matches his crazy, as Logan matches his. Physically, mentally, spiritually, these two are made for each other. 

That being said, Logan would be just as disappointed that he cannot be marked as he is that Wade cannot be marked—not for more than a few seconds, at least. But does that stop them? Fuck no. Absolutely not. 

The pair of them getting to it, approaching a state of mind that could only be described as delirious off one another, and Logan is holding the back of Wade’s neck, lifting him up a little so he can kiss his dearest, his beloved, his Wade.

It’s a biting kiss, more teeth than anything, but it’s loving. Wade knows it’s how Logan gets when he’s in the heat of the moment, but there isn’t anywhere else he’d rather be. But when Logan pulls back, he keeps Wade’s face close to his neck and shoulder and states with no room for argument or doubt… “bite.” And who's Wade to say no to him? Especially when he says it like that... the man makes a very compelling argument.

Anyway! Logan would want to be claimed in return. Their healing factors certainly get in the way sometimes, but they’re smart. They can get creative with it. It’s been ages I feel since I sent that ask about the dog tags… but I think you get the idea. They have options, and they have all the time in the world to figure out a way to make it stick. Logan is nothing if not loyal and hopelessly devoted to the people he loves. *^-^*

I LOVE ALL OF THIS TIMES A THOUSAND!!!!!

I'm sorry for not answering your previous ask - I get a lot of asks, but my spoon-level is VERY variable. I'm dealing with a lot of academic work on top of my already hectic and unpredictable work schedule! That + disabilities means that lots of EXCELLENT content gets buried in my askbox, because I just do not have the energy to scroll through some days.

It's not a comment on the quality of the content in any way, or my enjoyment of it! Just a miserable effect of The Disabilities Being Disabling. I can't change my inability to look at every ask - but I do genuinely apologise.

But GODDDD yes, I love that fic SO MUCH. It ate my brain, spat it back out, then ate it again.

I'm not into Scogan.... YET. But I could be convinced!!!

And - YEAH. I am just incapable of seeing Logan as anything BUT helplessly devoted in his love <3 man is so desperate to care for people and shower them with affection and bring them happiness - even if it's hidden beneath a very gruff exterior!

[lackablazeical]

💚🐉Ishida Miyamoto🐉💚

Specific trigger warnings -

Masochistic behavior, chronic/degenerative illness, medical malpractice, medical tools (i.e syringes, blades, etc), experimentation, objectification, codependence

General info -

Ishida's birthday is April 18th. He is an Aries ♈️

Ishida's love language is Words of Affirmation, he gives love through Quality time.

Ishida is bisexual with a preference towards women.

Ishida has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder)..

Personality traits -

Ishida is impulsive, determined, friendly, adventurous, clingy, trusting, gullible, and open-hearted.

Ishida tends to do things on a whim, for the excitement or rush of it all. He then has to deal with the consequences of it, which he greatly dislikes.

Ishida never gives up once he sets his mind to something, no matter if he hates it or not.

Ishida loves meeting new people and making friends, and can talk to anyone, anywhere.

Ishida is clingy, especially to Donnie. He loves having the attention, and often feels extremely down when Donnie ignores him or doesn't want him around. Same with Usagi, as well.

Ishida is a bit too trusting and will often believe things Donnie tells him immediately. He also trusts the people around him not to lie and takes what they say at face value.

Ishida is very open with his love and affection and voices his care and support of his loved ones often.

Important details -

His Health -

Ishida has conditions including hemophilia, asthma, POTS, low blood sugar, chronic fatigue syndrome, anemia, and poor circulation.

Ishida has a detached 'Ki', or soul. His soul is not bound to his body properly. This makes it so he is mostly unaffected by mystic spells, but is also connected to why he is so ill and disconnected from his body. Mystic magic does not work to improve his health because it tries to heal him through his Ki, which doesn't work. Donnie's medical practices only focus on his body, which make them more effective.

Donnie uses extreme medical practice to help Ishida, making Ishida much more energetic, strong, confident, and healthy. If Ishida didn't have his meds, he'd have about a month before he'd be right back where he started.

His beliefs -

Ishida's element is fire.

Ishida feels a strong connection to fire, ash, and dragons.

Ishida will burn things like paper, old clothes, or bites of his food and pray over the ash. He doesn't burn pictures with faces, as he finds it disrespectful.

Ishida will doodle dragons often and finds great value in art of them. He gets very starstruck around yokai that look like dragons too.

His beliefs about Usagi's death -

He believed Usagi was dead, and felt heavy guilt over it. He wished he had been healthier/stronger, to be able to protect his brothers.

Ishida was often helping comfort Kenichi, and he tended to 'feed into' Kenichi's idea that Usagi was still alive.

His dynamic with Donnie -

Ishida considers Donnie his best (non-blood related) friend.

He trusts Donnie with his life, and listens to whatever Donnie says. Donnie has a say in everything Ishida does, including what he eats and how he spends his time.

Ishida may occasionally call Donnie out for his bad behavior though, telling him if he's being an asshole or going too far. Donnie doesn't really care what Ishida has to say.

Ishida allows Donnie to run experiments on him, to test his pain tolerance and allow Donnie to gather data.

Ishida enjoys snuggling with Donnie, because of the vibrations from when Donnie churrs.

Ishida loves to spend time in Donnie's lab, and often goes in there to draw, work out, or just generally hang.

Ishida holds Donnie to a very high pedestal because of how Donnie had helped him, so may also brush off Donnie's outbursts/general rudeness because of this.

Ishida learned some sign language to be able to communicate with Donnie when he is overstimulated.

Fun facts -

Ishida's favorite food is bananas, and his favorite drink is soda.

Ishida has very few sensory issues, but notably he hates 'light' sensations (elbows brushing, gentle breezes, etc.)

Ishida has a talent for pickpocketing/ sleight of hand. He is also good at magic, like card tricks.

Ishida isn't a morning person, but still always wakes up early.

Voice claim [Ross Lynch] -

Tags that include Ishida -

#addams! Ishida, #addams! Donnida, #addams! Miyamotos

[fallingdownhell]

i love your writing so much i can't resist from requesting -

im an AS student and man these exams are not easy I've been pulling all nighters and its obviously effecting on me a lot and i don't have a thoma in my life T^T

can i request thoma x reader (modern AU) where she is pulling all nighters, skipping meals, etc while thoma is away on a buisness trip or something (with the Kamisato siblings) and when he gets back to home he sees her almost passed out with a fever and he takes care of her and helps her get back on her feet again ^^

feel free to ignore this <3

have a nice day/night and take care :D

Thanks, I'm glad to hear that<3

Ugh yeah, studying and exams are hard, but please do take care of yourself! That's still the most important thing to do.

But honestly, you're so right. Everyone should have a Thoma in their life. So, allow me to prepare something. Hope that it helps to relax you a bit as well<3

Pairing: Thoma x reader

Content: gender neutral reader; Modern AU; burnout; stress; exams suck; comfort; being taken care of when sick

Word count: 1,8k words

Enjoy the ride!

Studying was hard.

In fact, it was one of the worst things on this planet to ever exist. Why do people have to go through this for multiple years in their life?

It was already hard enough to stay focused and not get distracted by literally anything else. Even the most minute thing could normally easily steal your attention away.

Yet right now, you had to endure. A hard week was coming your way, two very important exams were approaching, with a third one being scheduled the week after.

You have been studying non stop for a few days now, but somehow, nothing seemed to stay in your head, every word you read seemed to be thrown out your head again at the next second.

So, instead of taking a break and just giving yourself even a few minutes of rest, you just studied even harder. Days became longer and longer and before you knew it, you were studying well into the night, but you couldn't help it.

Those exams were very important, it could possibly ruin your entire future if you were to fail even one of them. At least, that's what you're telling yourself.

To your (mis)fortune - however you wanna look at it now - your boyfriend Thoma, who usually would be pestering you by now to finally take a break, wasn't around for a few weeks, since he went on a trip with a few of his friends.

At first, he wanted to bail out of it, so he could stay with you and support you through these tough weeks. But you insisted that he went on the trip, said it would be good for him to get out and spend some quality time with his friends.

In the end, he reluctantly agreed to it, but he still made sure to text you every day, reminding you to take care of yourself and to not overwork yourself.

Each time you got a text like that from him, you felt guilt well up inside you, from how you so easily ignored his worries about you and your health. Yet, every time again, you pushed those feelings down again, telling you that you had no time for them right now.

...

You were currently deep into yet another study session again, your head already pounding from the constant stress and influx of information, when your phone gave off a text notification next to you.

The screen lit up once you looked at it, showing you a new message from Thoma and also told you that it was already almost midnight again.

'You still up?', was the message displayed on your screen. You hesitated on wether or not you should respond to him, knowing that he would most likely scold you for staying up so late again. But in the end, you decided on just answering him.

'Yeah, I am. What's up?', you replied back to him.

You waited a few seconds for his answer, but instead of a new message came the notification of an incoming video call. Confused but also pleasantly surprised, you accepted the call and were soon greeted with the handsome face of your boyfriend Thoma, which you haven't seen in quite some time. God, how did you only now realise how much you missed him?

"Hey", he said, his voice sounding a bit off thanks to the quality of the phone, but that's okay. At least you got to hear his voice again.

"Hey", you answered back with a soft smile, taking in his surroundings. He was laying on his stomach, holding his phone in front of him with one hand, while the other rested under his chin on a pillow. In the background, you could hear soft snoring.

"Is that Ayato snoring in the background?", you laughed, but Thoma seemed to be used to it at this point.

"Yeah. I'm actually not surprised you hear that, but trust me, it's so much louder when your in the same room as him. He sleeps like a stone and his snoring has kept me up so many times. Like today."

You nodded in understanding. While Thoma may not snore, your previous partner sure did, and it robbed you of your sleep more times than you could count.

"How are you, (name)? Taking enough breaks?", he asked, even managing to give you a pointed look through the camera of the phone. You briefly debated on just telling him yes so he would feel better, but you couldn't bring yourself to lie to Thoma. Not when he was so earnestly concerned about you.

"More or less..", you opted to respond, thinking it would not sound too bad. Yet, knowing you for this long, Thoma knew exactly what that meant.

"(Name)...", he sighed, pinching his nose with his free hands. But before he could go on a full blown rant, you tried changing the subject.

"Let's not talk about that, okay. I'll manage and I don't want to ruin the good mood of your trip. I hope you're having fun by the way."

Thoma looked at you for a few seconds, deciding on wether or not to just go with it. "I know what you're trying to do here. Just... promise me you won't take it too far, okay. Don't neglect yourself, take breaks and remember to eat something."

"Thoma.. I can't really promise you, but I'll try, okay?"

He sighed again, but agreed to that with a reluctant "Alright.", since he knew that this would probably be the best he would get out of you. He really hated how you had this habit to just not take care of yourself when you were stressed, which is why he didn't want to go on this trip in the first place.

But, you were right after all. He really needed this trip to get out for a bit and breath some fresh air, and he had a lot of fun with both Ayato and Ayaka. You were initially invited to join them as well, but sadly had to decline because it would overlap with your exams.

The two of you talked for quite a bit about all kinds of things. The stuff the three of them had been up to during their trip, where they went to (since it was a road trip) and stuff like that. Hearing about it, you were really sad you couldn't join them, but that's just how things are now.

Before ending the call, Thoma informed you that they probably would be back by the end of next week, which was also when you would finally be done with all your exams. Then, you could finally rest again and enjoy some much needed quality time with your boyfriend again.

"Good night, (name). I love you."

"I love you too, Thoma. Good night."

And after that, your screen went black again, and you were suddenly all alone again in your quiet room, with nothing to occupy your mind but the constant need to study and get better.

So, with a deep sigh, you got back to work.

...

It was finally done. The last test has been dealt with, it was over.

You arrived at your apartment, utterly exhausted. You had been ignoring the warning signs of your body for far too long, and yet you still insisted of pushing your own limits.

You started to develop a constant headache a few days ago, with the fever joining in two days ago. Yet you still pushed through, telling yourself that you were fine, that you were able to do this.

And you did do it, but now that you were falling onto your couch, finally able to relax for the first time in two weeks, you realized what you had done to yourself.

You had no strength left in you, no will to do anything at all. You were utterly exhausted and done, not being able to do anything but welcome the darkness that overcame you as you simply passed out on the spot.

...

"(Name)? I'm home!", Thoma yelled as he entered your apartment, using the spare key that you gave him. When no reply came back to him, worry began to rise even more. He had been texting you for the last three hours, telling you that he got back safely. But when you still didn't reply, his concern got the best of him, and he made his way over to your apartment.

"(Name)?", he tried again, while moving through the living space. Once he passed the living room, he saw you, laying on the couch, passed out. At first, thinking nothing of it, he smiled a little and made his way over to your side, crouching down next to you.

But when he saw the pained expression on your face and how sweaty you were, he instantly knew something was up. Without thinking, he gently picked you up into his arms to carry you to your bedroom, before he went to check on your temperature.

As he suspected, you had a fever.

"Damn it, (name).", he sighed. Seemed like he had to take care of you until you wake up again.

...

When you woke up again, you had no idea what time it was, but judging by the the lack of bright light coming form outside, it had to be either evening or night already.

Your head was still spinning a bit and when you went to touch your forehead, you noticed something cold and wet.

That's also when you realized that you weren't in the living room anymore, but actually your bedroom.

Still confused and trying to piece the missing information together, the door to your room swung open, revealing the form of your boyfriend Thoma to you.

"Thoma! You're back!", you exclaimed, trying to get out of the bed, but were quickly pushed back down again.

"Don't even think about getting up. Your fever is still way too high for you to be jumping around like that.", he scolded, which caused you to follow his instruction. Only now did you also notice that you were wearing your pyjama and not the things you collapsed in on the couch. He really took care of everything for you...

"I'm sorry..", you quietly mumbled, and you meant it. You felt bad and guilty for causing him to worry so much about you. Even worse that he had every right to do so, since you did work yourself sick.

Thoma sighed, sitting down on the bed, slowly extending a hand to stroke your hair a bit.

"Don't scare me like that again. You were passed out for hours. All I want is for you to be okay. I can only achieve that if you also start taking care of yourself."

"Okay.. I promise I'll take better care."

And he believed you. It was the only thing he could do, besides nursing you back to health right now. And you appreciated and loved him even more for putting up with you and still caring for you, despite all.

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

22: The Baby of All Time

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You love Papyrus. There’s something so special about him. Your special little man. Ignore the fact that he’s not, in fact, little because that hardly matters when it counts. Much to your delight, Papyrus had told you the next morning that you two were going to hang out together. He had a few things planned for you and was eager to see your excitement about his hi-jinks and japes.

As a matter of fact, he even escorted you to the beginning of Snowdin where his first puzzle was.

Yeah, it was pretty obvious he mainly just wanted to show off the puzzles. But hey! Killing two birds with one stone, you’re not about to complain!

There was that little hiccup at the bridge since you didn’t miraculously get over your fear of heights just like that. That was fine with him, Papyrus simply picked you up like the Giga Chad he is while covering your eyes. Next thing you knew, you were already on the other side. Papyrus may have forgotten to put you down for 10 minutes, but it was cozy.

Dang, a bitch really needed a cuddle.

Much to your surprise (and slight disappointment and relief), Papyrus wouldn’t make you do the Invisible Electricity Maze. It’s for “bad humans who need to get pranked” and you don’t fall in that category! Aww, how sweet of him! Still, you guys went that far back anyway because he needed you to see everything that contained special memories to him (aka anything that has the slightest Papyrus involvement).

“AND THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY PERFECTED TRAPS!!” Papyrus shows off the cardboard box with the frozen spaghetti, “GRANTED, I’VE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO PUT IT TO PROPER USE, BUT WHEN A MEAN HUMAN FALLS DOWN, I’M SURE THEY’LL FALL FOR MY DIABOLICAL SCHEME!”

You’re looking at him with love and admiration as he talks, nodding along eagerly at the right intervals so he knows you’re listening. He’s just so precious, so willing to tell you all about his hi-jinks and gags.

“I mean, shit, this would probably work on me if you didn’t save me the trouble by explaining it,” You grin, “It’s great, Papyrus!”

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH! LUCKILY FOR YOU, YOU’RE A GOOD HUMAN SO YOU NEEDN’T WORRY ABOUT FALLING FOR ANY OF MY PRANKS–ERM, I MEAN MY TRAPS!!”

Papyrus gestures for you to follow him past the trap and to continue onward. Doggo, to your surprise, wasn’t here when you two first passed by his doghouse. You assume he’s either on petrol somewhere else or even at Grillby’s as shown in the game. You didn’t particularly mind it since you’re perfectly happy having quality time with only Papyrus. His appearance, unfortunately, still freaks you out but you’re slowly but surely getting over it. Rather, you’re getting used to it.

There’s something about seeing a walking skeleton that freaks out your brain like: “Hey, skeletons are not supposed to be outside of a body!!”

…You’re sure this will leave no mental side effects.

“SPEAKING OF, I AM WONDERING…” PAPYRUS LOOKED A LITTLE NERVOUS, “WHAT WAS YOUR LIFE LIKE? O-ON THE SURFACE, I MEAN.”

You blink, “Oh. Uh, I mean, it’s not really interesting, I think. Hm… Well, I was going to school to become a doctor, so I spent a lot of my time just doing that.”

“A DOCTOR, HM? I THINK I’VE READ BEFORE THAT HUMANS HAVE DOCTORS FOR ALL KINDS OF THINGS.”

“Yeah, it’s true! There’s gotta be more than 100 types of doctors all over the world. Me personally…” Uh, well, he’s a grown-ass man, he can know what it is you want to do. “I wanted to be a General Surgeon. Like, someone who operates on other people to see what’s wrong from the inside.”

“W… WOW… THAT SOUNDS… REALLY RISKY…”

“Ha-ha, it is! But that’s why I had to go to school for it. Actually, I’ll be in school learning about it for a long time. So when the time comes for me to operate on someone, I’ll be able to save their life instead of hurting them more.” You smile, “But I’m pretty good at medical assessments–on humans, at least.”

“SO, YOU’RE NICE AND YOU’RE A SMART COOKIE! LOOK AT YOU, THE WHOLE PACKAGE!” Papyrus pats you (accidentally) rough on the back, “YOU MUST’VE HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS WITH THAT COOL PERSONALITY OF YOURS, HUH?”

You hiss quietly, “Ooh, if only. I was pretty much a loner. I had one best friend and that’s it.”

“WH-WHAT?! REALLY?!” Papyrus stops you and puts his hands on your shoulders, shaking you lightly, “BUT–BUT YOU’RE SO COOL! HOW COULD YOU NOT BE POPULAR?!”

You just shrugged with a grin, “I dunno. I kept to myself, I never went out of my way to make a lot of friends either. It’s not like they want to get to know me anyway, so why should I force it?”

You don’t want to explain to the poor baby that you were a shit person in your teenage years, and after losing Kōrenki you lost a lot of interest in building bonds with other people for a while. Actually, you’re not sure you want to bring Kōrenki up at all with the tall monster. Not that you don’t trust him with that information, but you don’t want to put him in distress about your sad life.

“But, Elliot, my best friend, he saw me for who I really was. He took the time to get to know me, to see the worst parts of me and still accept me, and…” You smile fondly at his memory, “Even though I didn’t have other friends, that genuine bond with him made up for that, you know? And maybe that makes it all worth it.”

Papyrus looks like he’s genuinely thinking and considering your words. You two walk in comfortable silence for a moment, going past the invisible Electricity Maze since he already said it wasn’t activated for you to do.

Finally, as you reach the “Ball” game, Papyrus speaks up.

“YOU KNOW… SANS TELLS ME ALL THE TIME THAT I’M THE COOLEST, AND ONE DAY EVERYONE IN THE UNDERGROUND WILL REALIZE THAT AND WILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND. BUT… MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT. MAYBE I DON’T NEED ALL THE PRAISE AND GLORY FROM OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW ME. FROM PEOPLE WHO DON’T WANT TO KNOW ME,” The skeleton nods with a wholesome smile, “IN FACT, I HAVE A BEST FRIEND TOO, AND SHE ACCEPTS ME JUST FOR WHO I AM!”

You think he’s talking about Undyne, but you need to ask anyway. “Really? Who is it?”

“UNDYNE, THE CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!” He poses heroically, cape flowing in the air despite there being ZERO wind right now, “WHY, I KNOW THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHE THINKS VERY HIGH OF ME! SHE’S THE ONE GIVING ME COOKING LESSONS!!”

Oh, you sweet baby. You’re still not ready to tell him how shit his spaghetti is, so you’re just going to subtly dodge that last part.

“Awe, Undyne sounds great! I remember Sans mentioning that she’s an authoritative figure, so I was pretty curious about her. I also know she won’t be my biggest fan,” You chuckle a bit, “But anyway, how ‘bout you tell me more about you and your bro? I wanna get to know you too, Papyrus.”

“GLADLY, MY GOOD LADY!”

As you’re trying to solve the Ball game by yourself, Papyrus takes this time to tell you about Sans and himself. A little bit of their past, some embarrassing moments between them, and cool lore in general that you would’ve never learned in the game. It’s so great you’re able to learn about them, and not be kept in the dark!

“THOUGH, REALLY… IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT SANS, IT’S BEST YOU ASK HIM. YOU TWO GET ALONG VERY WELL, AND I’M SURE HE’D BE WILLING TO SHARE IT WITH YOU.” Papyrus grins, “I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU DRAGGING HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE, TOO.”

“Pfft, then I’ll do it more often,” And that is a promise you’ll be willing to keep for your special little man. “Though, I do have one more question if you don’t mind.”

“WHAT IS IT?”

This is the best chance you’ll have. It’s been a week since that Gaster dream you had, and you spent this whole time thinking of ways you can bring it up to either brother without it seeming suspicious. This might be a little random, but you hope Papyrus will not notice.

“I noticed a lot that there are a lot of monsters that look similar to each other, even if they’re not related. I’m guessing it’s kind of like humans where some of us can look very similar to each other, but are completely unrelated. So, I mean, are there other skeleton monsters like you and Sans?”

Papyrus squints into the distance (somehow), rubbing his chin with his gloved hand. “NYEHH… NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THERE IS–ER, WAS SOMEONE. I THINK. HE WAS LIKE A… A DAD? BUT… HM,” He shrugs, seemingly not bothered, “HE’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE. BUT IT’S NOT LIKE I KNEW HIM VERY WELL, SO IT’S ALRIGHT WITH ME.”

Wow, very straight to the point. You pout at the snowball that melted for the 3rd time, causing you to go back to the beginning.

“Do you remember his name? I imagine it’s also a font like you and Sans, right?”

“YEAH, I THINK SO. SOMETHING WITH A ‘G’ OR WHATEVER,” Papyrus remains as your unbothered king because bro fucking rolls his eyes, “SANS PROBABLY REMEMBERS, YOU CAN ASK HIM LATER.”

HE IS LITERALLY OPENING THE DOOR OF OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU!! YOU LOVE THIS MAN!!

“Yeah, sure-”

“-BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT GUY, LET’S TALK MORE ABOUT ME!”

Ohh, that’s why he didn’t care for talking about his peepaw. You respect the hustle. With an eager response, you let Papyrus keep telling you about his battle body and its significance of it.

This is really great, though! You’ll pull Sans aside later to talk about your dream tonight. You just… As much as you hate it, you’re still scared of Sans and what he can do to you if you say or do something he doesn’t like. Or what if he plays dumb and you’re left to deal with this on your own? You’re not sure if you want to talk about it with Papyrus, but if worse comes to worse… Who knows, you might need to.

For now, though, you’ll put this in the back of your mind and focus on Papyrus.

The tall skeleton puts his hands on his hips, “WOW, YOU REALLY SUCK AT THIS GAME!”

“Hey! I’d like to see you try it, buddy!”

“WHA–I UH, YOU KNOW, I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU DO THIS…!”

“Oh, really!?”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

[twinkle-art]

since you talked about sho's relationship with toichiro after the last comic, I'm curious about your takes on serizawa's relationship with him now (if you want to share)

ohhhhhhh boy do i ever have takes on what was going on there. for everyone's sake i'm just going to try to keep it to what my reading of the actual text is so. this is. that

the most surface-level observation that i think needs to be made here is that serizawa OBVIOUSLY adored him. he thought extremely highly of him and valued his words accordingly. 

i get why people tend to gloss over this part but. it’s incredibly overt and i think it does his character a disservice to ignore that he was both victimized by touichirou and complicit in a lot of what he did. he had his reservations and doubts about claw’s intentions from the beginning on account of Having A Moral Compass, so the number one thing that kept him in line was that touichirou had him completely wrapped around his finger. notably, it wasn’t through threat or overt coercion, but because he preyed on his desperation to feel seen and needed.

(a slightly more nuanced take on this facet of their dynamic is that while fear WAS a relevant component, i really, really don’t think serizawa was ever made to be scared of touichirou in the context of his capacity for violence prior to wd arc, and think that would’ve been counterintuitive to the particular way he went about manipulating him. he WAS, however, scared of returning to his life as a shut-in, and since he didn’t see any options for himself besides that and his dependency on him, it was in touichirou’s best interest to allow that fear to fester)

and.. at the risk of sounding like i’m playing devil’s advocate.. it makes COMPLETE sense to me that serizawa would feel this way. fifteen years is an incredibly long time to be isolated and have god knows how many people all resoundingly fail to help you. like. no shit he’s willing to ignore the sinister undertones of the only person who was able to save him from that fate, the first person who ever made him feel like he wasn’t alone. it’s easy for us as an external audience to go well, obviously that guy was the fucking worst, what redeeming qualities would serizawa even cling onto, but having that profound of a material effect on his life really can’t be understated imo. i think it’s completely natural and normal that on some level, he’d still feel a level of gratitude* to him for that, despite rationally knowing it wasn’t for his benefit. 

*idk how many of you are familiar with the fanbook blurb that states what i always assumed was the intended subtext more overtly. i actually translated the page it’s from myself, if you’re interested in that. i promise i’m not lying for fun on the internet i’m sure this information is available somewhere else by now

or to say all of that in much simpler terms: he loved this guy the way you’d love a meal that kept you from starving to death, even if it was poisoned

(fig. a– girl what the hell is this)

(as an aside: i don’t necessarily disagree with anyone who focuses on reading discomfort into serizawa’s interactions with him but… as i said before i simply don’t think that renders the constant stream of admiration for him irrelevant)

now, obviously this is muddied by the fact that these feelings were born of truly heinous manipulation, but it’s also just observably true that they spend nearly all their shared screentime with serizawa fawning over him and hanging onto his every word. 

it’s because he felt this way that i think the role he adopted under his guidance stuck to the point where he took it with him when he left claw. like, he fully internalized this idea of being The Muscle as a perfectly normal way to express that he cares for, and feels an obligation to, certain people in his life. so while obviously it goes without saying that his relationship to spirits and such (or reigen specifically, if that’s what you’re in the mood for) is so much more fulfilling and respectful and real, you can still see that learned behavior present. i don’t think that’s a bad thing inherently, like, of course you want to protect people you care about, but i do find it……….interesting lol

but this has all been about how serizawa feels about touichirou, because obviously that’s way more important to him than the other way around. how touichirou feels about serizawa i think requires a lot more extrapolation and personal interpretation of the themes he’s here to deliver. personally, my stance can be summarized with two statements: 

on some level, he took serizawa’s betrayal personally despite claiming to be above human connection, because this series is committed to the truth that no one actually is

telling serizawa to let him go and learn his lesson because he never cared about him anyways, after all the violence/grevious child abuse/openly admitted exploitation/that whole mad king-esque breakdown still wasn’t enough to permanently sever his attachment, was the first and only kindness he ever showed him

(fig. b– the manga omission i’ll be saddest about forever rip spare battery scene you’ll always be famous)

(sorry i keep making asides. but referring to the umbrella that he presented him with under the guise of it being a necessary tool as his weapon the second it’s turned on him is an incredible way to make him show his hand)

in conclusion mp100 is Oops All Parallels all the way down so you see echoes of these themes all over the place. it’s just that this is a strong contender for the most horribly mangled manifestation of a way someone can come to care for someone else in this entire story

[thagomizersshow]

I said a few days ago that I’d share my criticisms of Jurassic Park, so here goes. At its core, JP is a movie that has one message in the text and another in the subtext, and this all comes down to why of the park’s failure.

The film’s dialogue famously ascribes the failure of the park to hubris; don’t mess around in god’s play place (aka genetics) because you don’t know what will happen. Ian Malcolm’s "life finds a way” criticisms of the park are portrayed by the characters as correct. Malcolm even says that “he hates being right all the time.” It’s also worth mentioning that Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg have both been interviewed on the message of Jurassic Park, and they both said it is about the misuse of science, in agreement with Malcolm.

That is the text. This all-too-common sci-fi story about humanity meddling in the domain of the gods. Which, BY THE WAY, did not originate with Frankenstein as I said in one of my earliest videos. I’ll argue now that lumping Frankenstein in with JP and other “man’s hubris” stories is an oversimplification and possibly even a straight up misreading, but that’s a WHOLE ‘nother post.

Now, when we look at the events of the story, rather than the dialogue, a different message is revealed. Looking at the actions that actually lead to the failure of the park, it’s clear scientists failing to account for something has nothing to do with it.

Yes, the dinosaurs turn out to be breeding, but this has zero effect on the events of the film. Maybe if they had included the raptors changing sex, like they do in the novel, this argument would have a leg to stand on, but as the film exists the discovery of breeding dinosaurs makes no difference to the plot. You honestly could cut this scene out and the film wouldn’t miss a beat.

The real reason for the park’s fall is much more mundane: Hammond didn’t pay one of his workers enough.

Dennis Nedry is honestly one of the most disgusting portrayals of a “disgruntled employee” ever put to screen. He’s written to be the least sympathetic character possible; he’s messy, annoying, gluttonous, physically inept, and to top it all off, of course he’s fat, a trait most often given to characters who are either comic relief or villains. So, when he complains about not being paid well enough, the audience is already primed to think of him as unworthy of sympathy.

This in spite of his clearly incredible feat of automating the entire park single handed. Nedry’s decision after being fucked over by a multi-billion dollar company — like anyone with a backbone — is to try and fuck them right back. In this case, it was by stealing their shit, which may not have been the best choice (workplace organizing, man, c’mon), but I honestly can’t fault him for it. He deserved better than to be the audience’s hate sink, and we can put full blame on the writers and director for creating such a vile representation of a worker.

All this to say that the theme park’s failure, and all the deaths it caused, fall on John Hammond’s shoulders. Not because he “didn’t stop to think if he should.” Not because “life finds a way.” But because he treated a worker like shit who knew more about the thing they made than he did.

Now, finally, I want to address the fact that I’m not the first person to make a Marxist analysis of JP. In fact, Idea Channel made a video on this topic forever ago, and there are literal academic papers on this topic well worth reading. The point I want to make is not just that JP says something about capitalism, but that the subtextual message about capitalism is at odds with the textual message about the hubris of scientific advancement, AND this degrades the film’s quality massively in my eyes.

If Nedry was portrayed as sympathetic, if Hammond’s abuse wasn’t glossed over, if someone called Malcolm out on how he isn’t right all the time, then MAYBE this movie could be an actual good commentary on capitalism. But as it stands, it feels like it ignores the questions its own story brings up, and even worse, is really mean spirited towards fat people and workers who’ve been wronged.

As much as I love SO much about Jurassic Park, including acting, cinematography, effects, editing (honestly SUCH good editing), the script itself falls apart so badly at the seams I struggle to enjoy it the way I used to. This, combined with the fact the series has turned into a nostalgia driven sludge machine, and I just can’t bring myself to engage with this franchise in a positive way anymore. 

[thephoenixandthecrocodile]

Thoughts on Rings of Power Episode 07 (spoilers) - Part 1

Not going to lie, I’m not sure I’m ready for this episode.

Aw, Brimby with his cup of tea, enjoying a nice, peaceful morning…

“Hello, Mr. Mouse.” :3 I love how Celebrimbor can range from arrogant and proud to adorable

“Have you fallen?” “You know how forgetful you can be.” “I trust you are not feeling overwhelmed again.” Fuck you, Sauron, you gaslighting, abusive ass

Although Sauron seems genuinely happy when Celebrimbor thanked him.

“When the world is still…” so Celebrimbor is just an autistic gay who wants to make things all day. I understand that feeling completely.

Also I genuinely believe Sauron will regret the end of his partnership with Celebrimbor (Celebrimbor, not so much, haha)

Love, love, love the transition from peaceful Celebrimbor world to reality, although I would have liked a better passage of time because apparently the city has been under siege for weeks?

“Valar bless you, my lord” to Sauron. XD

Also fuck you, Sauron, for making Celebrimbor sound like a feeble minded old man. -_-

“Proven your quality” and my mind immediately went to Denethor and poor Faramir.

So, my dumb ass was like, ‘wait are the Orcs really going to build a dam?” And Adar’s like, nope, just going to throw a shit ton of rocks at this mountain face until it crumbles and dams the river.

This is why I’m not an engineer and he was in his past life XD

I love how Celebrimbor can ignore explosions, screams, and everything else going on outside, but the mouse gave the whole thing away

Do you think Celebrimbor raised mice as a child?

And he was very smart to mark the candle to see if it actually changed

And King Durin III is being an asshat as usual

 Fucking love that Disa and Durin are defending the mind all by themselves. Such bad asses

And, YES, DISA GETS TO HOLD AN AXE IN THIS EPISODE

Yay, Narvi!

“This particular elf has been banished from all dwarven lands” Durin IV: YES!!! THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I’VE HEARD IN WHAT FEELS LIKE A CENTURY!”

More Durin-Elrond bromance!

“Tidal-hared, flowery tongue, flagpole” XD

“I’m about to overthrow my father. What have you got?” XD

I love the pain in Elrond’s face as he realizes what overthrowing Durin III must cost Durin IV and how impossible his ask for Durin’s army really is

That one Orc LOVES his life beating the war drums haha

Also, can I just say the Orcs have been incredible this season? Love the practical effects and their different personalities we’ve been able to get glimpses of throughout the season

The Ravager, a combination of Grond and that one orc from Two Towers with the bombs

Oh my god this entire conversation between Celebrimbor and Sauron about the fucking mouse XD Pure gold

Love how anxious and yet proud Celebrimbor looks when he points the pattern out to Sauron

“Captivating.” XD

It must kill Sauron as Celebrimbor tears apart his “perfect” illusion

Yeah, Celebrimbor is fighting back!

LOVE the eye twitch when Celebrimbor calls Sauron out on his bullshit

Poor Celebrimbor once he realizes what is actually happening to his city.

The tears. The scream. My God give Charles Edwards ALL THE AWARDS!

Sauron’s fucking blood!!!

“True creation requires sacrifice.” Given what we know about Sauron, that line is probably when he first fell in love with Celebrimbor

I love how I know Celebrimbor is telling the truth, but he just sounds crazy when talking to Mirdania

I don’t really blame Mirdania for being like, “uh, ok, grandpa, go back to bed now.”

This whole scene is soooo painful. Poor Brimby. No one believes him.

“Get you back where you belong” and then over the wall Mirdania goes. ☹

Elrond on a horse!!!

Elf Charge!

So, was Gil-Galad not even invited to Adar’s tent? XD He is High King after all and he’s…somewhere on the battlefield.

Love the contrast between the Elves bathed in light and the Orcs covered in darkness

How in Valar’s name did they halt that charge?!

I’ve been wanting this Adar-Elrond showdown for a while!

Yes, Elrond, it would be foolish to bring the ring with you -_-

Elrond’s faith in Celebrimbor. So pure

Melian! A Melian reference!

Also, Adar just likes to flirt with all his prisoners, huh?

Ooo Elrond getting into the Orc’s heads.

This is why Adar is such an amazing and tragic character. He wants to desperately protect his children in a world that wants to destroy them and then Sauron comes back and he knows Sauron will reclaim what he feels is “rightfully” his, so he has to sacrifice more and more of his children to defeat a foe he thought long defeated and even though it would make sense for the Orcs and Elves to work together, they can’t because of personal bias, misconceptions, and downright racism.

I absolutely adore how this episode in particular doesn’t glorify war. Instead, it points out how fucking stupid this battle actually is. Adar and Gil-Galad could ride into Eregion together and save Celebrimbor and defeat Sauron, but because the Elves will not give a homeland to the Orcs and Adar knows he can’t trust the Elves, they’ll just slaughter each other while Sauron gets what he wants

That kiss is such a Rick O’Connell, “Well I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time” moment. You can see poor Elrond’s brain short circuit with the pressure he is under, and he just does the first thing that pops into his head and Galadriel’s face XD The “there are a hundred and one different ways you could have given me this brooch and that’s the one you go with?” look

Durin’s war speech! No notes. Fucking amazing

Poor Brimby changed to his desk ☹

Durin the IV the king Khazad Dum needs and deserves

So old king Durin has completely lost it, huh?

Ove that horses kick as much ass as their owners in this series

I’ve been dying to see Elrond fight for soooooo long. Robert does an amazing job showing the warrior side of Elrond

Oh no the horse! That’s right, Elrond, kick that Orc’s ass!

Love that Elrond takes a moment to say goodbye to his horse. So sweet and sad.

“You told us you loved us” “With all that is left of my heart” literally sobbing at this exchange. Poor, poor Adar. He knows in his heart that he has lost the love of his children, but if he can kill Sauron and free them forever, then it’s worth it. ☹

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 29 - Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky

I very theoretically read a few of the Strugatsky Brothers’ short stories for a Soviet Lit class in school years ago, but this is actually the first one of their books I can say I actually read and, like, meaningfully paid attention to. I was likewise vaguely aware that this was a very influential book, but only in a kind of fuzzy ‘the STALKER games are based on it, right?’ sort of way.

All to say, I went in basically blind and was actually pretty pleasantly surprised. Both by the quality of the book and by the realization of how much more influential it has been than I had previously realized. The afterwards by one of the authors for the new edition with the tell-all rant about the publication process was also just fascinating in an entirely different way.

The story takes place in a world where at a certain point aliens made contact with earth – not with any sort of communication or even physical presence, but through some sort of process that left zones around the world warped and strange, full of physics-defying miracles and ten thousand different ways to die horribly or end up slowly mutated and wasting away. The story is set around a small town in probably-Canada that was one of the ground zeroes, and about Red, one of the freelance ‘stalkers’ who make a fortune evading the government quarantine and securing some of those physics-defying-miracles to sell to the highest bidder before the official scientists can slowly make their way to them.

Red does not have what you would call a happy life.

The story’s split into three sections, with significant time jumps between each one. Which I did rather like the effect of, seeing how the town changes from a half-abandoned ruin everyone thinks is a month away from demolition to a scientific boomtown and the long-term effects of exposure become more and more well known but don’t stop the rush to exploit the potential riches of the alien detritus one bit. It also allows for a better look at Red’s slow downward slide in both material circumstance and morality.

Red himself is interesting? He’s a very rough, brutish sort of man, the kind who jumps to threats of violence pretty easily when it comes to disputes where he thinks he’s in the right, who doesn’t have the temperament to hold down any sort of steady, boring job, and knows it, and who has a little bit of a complex about all those things. He tries to look out for his friends and comrades, and provide for his family, and that’s about the highest morality he aspires to. Hardly the most original archetype, but it’s very well-realized. No matter how viscerally unlikable he gets at points when you’re spending so long in the close confines of his head.

Speaking of complexes and guilt – one of his overriding motivations for the back 2/3 of the book is trying to provide for and cure his daughter who, almost certainly due to the weird alien radiation he’s saturated with, was born incredibly mutated (in a ‘has fur and is incapable of human speech’ sort of way). Which, again, kind of blunt instrument characterization but the book did do an excellent job getting across the constant low-level soul eating guilt and resentment that basically soaked through him about her and how that motivates just about every major choice he makes in the final act of the story.

And since I’m talking about characterization – look, I get that most of this is just the close POV to a guy whose a complete boor, but my god did the portrayal of women in this just make me roll my eyes. And I like to think I’ve usually got fairly thick skin for this sort of thing – but hard to ignore the fact that the literal only two women with recurring roles and more than a handful of lines are a) the loving, long-suffering but supportive wife who we basically only ever see in domestic scenes and b) the dissolute hot-but-dumb slutty daughter of the stalker equivalent of the local oligarch, y’know? And Red’s internal monologue and how they’re described did not exactly obscure the issue.

Tone-wise – I mean, look, this book is really not helping the stereotype about Russian novels. Which is not at all a problem for me personally, but there is as far as I can tell exactly one uncomplicated heroic devotee of truth and the common good. He dies at the end of part one, and the guilt over it is another load-bearing chunk of Red’s various complexes. It is overwhelmingly a book of flawed, broken, small-minded and selfish people, most of whom aren’t too found of each other. The very ending, with the wish for a better world quite literally hidden away behind a barrier that requires a human sacrifice to traverse, kind of emphasizes that.

The long timeskips and fairly compressed narration means that there’s only really a vague sketch of the wider world – of the corporations and conspiracies who buy what the stalkers sell, of the miracles that exploiting them has allowed, and of how things have improved and/or gone to shit generally – but it’s a really well done sketch. Then again, the ability to have the protagonist be a bit player in wider structures and to gesture at outside agencies with their own schemes that just don’t matter to the plot seems to have been a much more common skill among sci fi writers a couple generations ago. Still, the sort of retrofutristic noir world, powered by alien wonders that some technicians can use but absolutely no one can understand, is well done and appealing.

Speaking of – so this really is a cosmic horror story, and honestly a better one than most modern inheritors of Lovecraft. The universe is wondrous and deadly and strange, it will kill you or mutate you beyond recognition or make you richer than you’ve ever dreamed, but most of all it does not care. Everything from the title on down is used to reinforce that, and the trouble humanity has coming to terms with the idea that to the aliens who have so profoundly changed civilization, we’re literally irrelevant. The descriptions of the environment and the precautions taken to navigate it are – well, I don’t know if they’re just the oldest example of a preexisting body of tropes or the book actually came up with them, but if it’s the latter then I suddenly understand a lot of what influenced some of my favourite works of sci fi horror.

Not part of the story per se, but the copy my library had included both a forward by Le Guin (mostly a reprint of the review she wrote when it was first translated to English in the...70s, I think?) and an author afterwards written in the 2000s about the book’s publication history. Which were both just absolutely fascinating.

[jjtheclown555]

keep in mind this is based on my practices and im using practices that many pagan, wiccan, and spiritual people do!! also ik goo is ooc at the end, im sorry but its 4am and i want soft love rn so thats what im writing😭also yes its low quality, i only spent like an hour and a half actually working on it...anyways off to bed i go bc i have an exam tmrw at 9:30am so idk why im still awake, god help me and tell my to stop typing

Goo with a spiritual girl

One of the first times you met Goo he asked about your necklace. The blue circular eye hanging off the black string. He said he had seen them before and questioned it.

"It's an evil eye, for spiritual protection." You explain. He only looks more confused though.

He hums and asks how it protects anything. "If someone comes to attack you, how does a necklace protect you?" He asks.

You chuckle, "Like I said, it's for spiritual protection." You elaborate on your original point, clarifying. "Let's say someone is jealous of you-"

"Who wouldn't be jealous of me?" He interrupts, his grin widening as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Hush," you say. "All the people that are most definitely jealous of you send you negative energy. The evil eye returns a look, sending that energy back to them so it can't affect your life." You continue, "Many people in turn believe that when your evil eye is lost or breaks, it means that it's done its service in protecting you, but it has absorbed too much negativity and you need to replace it to regain your protection."

He listens carefully as you explain all the ins and outs of its purpose, both in your beliefs and the beliefs of others. Goo doesn't understand much of your rambles, but it's nice to see you blather on.

His next questions happened when you had been dating awhile and moved in with him. As he watched you litter his penthouse with incense holders, crystals, and plants, he got curious again.

"Is this all for spiritual protection too?" He asks, his tone mocking on the words 'spiritual protection.' You just roll your eyes and ignore him. "C'mon, tell me!" He pleads, holding your hands between his with an exaggerated pleading face.

All you can do is sigh and explain the purpose of each thing. You tell him that each crystal has a different metaphysical effect—which he cuts off, asking if he could sell some for a pretty penny—and each type of incense can have different benefits as well.

"And the plants?" He tilts his head. "Are those spiritual or do you just like plants?"

"Both." You say, potting a fern. "I like plants but I also like having pieces of nature around me all the time."

He kisses the top of your head and holds your waist from behind. "That is adorable, princess." He sways you from side to side, asking to hear more just to watch your excited rambling (and maybe gain a little more ammo to tease you with later.)

Goo sneaks up on you while you shuffle your cards, surprising you with a soft kiss against your collar. You drop the cards, watching them scatter across the coffee table.

"Whoops!" He says, watching you pick them up. "I would help but I don't need another, 'Don't touch my witchy shit,' lecture."

You look back at him as you even out your cards. "Be respectful," you start. "And that's just my crystals and such because even unintentionally they will absorb any negativity." You place the cards onto the table with care. "What can I do for you, Goo?"

He sits next to you on the couch, eyes sparkling so much they could blind you. "I want you to give me a reading!" He says. It's less of a request and more of a command, something you hardly have time for.

You ruffle his hair affectionately to contradict you words. "I thought it was, 'witchy shit,' was it not?" He halfheartedly apologizes—not that any sense of regret was really in it. While teasing, you do enjoy seeing him take an interest in your practices. "What is your question, hun?"

He thinks, "Can I have two?" You nod. "The first one is, how will my financials be in the future? Will I be rolling in an even bigger pile of cash? I know the answer, but some confirmation would be nice."

You do the reading and it proves his point, each card describing a more luscious life than the last. So, you ask for his next question, the teensiest bit disappointed that you couldn't put him in his place just for a moment.

"What will our relationship be like a year from now?"

You look up a little shocked. It's not that you didn't know Goo loved you. It was a fact difficult to miss. But seeing him question it through your beliefs, through what matters to you instead of turning the reading into a joke, it made you soft.

You smiles a bit and reshuffle the cards, knocking on the deck three times before shuffling again and waiting as cards drop.

The first is the two of cups. The lord of love. He notices it written on the bottom and his manic smiles turns softer, seeing a small piece of happiness. Then the wheel of fortune. Lord of the forces of life. He presumes it's positive since it's upright, he's seen you do this enough times to know upright cards tended to be a good thing. The final card to appear is the lovers. He doesn't need to look at the bottom to know what that means.

You go on your spiel. Goo doesn't believe in this stuff. He doesn't think cards can tell the future. He doesn't think crystals can protect you, heal you, or attract good things. He doesn't think incense protects your home. But this. This he believes in.

He listens intently as you talk about the close bond you'll have thanks to the two of cups. He wonders what changes will come in the year from the wheel of fortune. And he believes each word about the intense spiritual bond you'll have from the lovers.

When you finish your explanation, he holds on tightly to you, not a worry in the world as he takes a moment to understand why you believe in this. He may not, but he can still see the beauty in your beliefs.

It's the moment he finally understands you. Where his teasing and joking becomes less genuine.

When he finds beauty in your view of love.

You lie back in bed, taking deep breaths in and out, focusing solely on calming each bone in your body. You reach your peace, continuing to focus and reach deeper into your mind when something large bounces on the bed, startling you out of your calmed state. Turning to look, you see Goo, smiling as per usual at your grumpy face and enjoying the way your lips form a pout at him.

He pulls you towards him, "You meditate every night and I just wanna cuddle and sleep!" He groans. You can feel the water on his bare chest from his shower just moments before. You shove him away and sit up, closing your eyes and attempting to regain your meditative state but he pulls you back. "It's late, princess! Let's sleep!"

When your head hits the pillow and you feel his arms envelope you completely, you almost instantly feel your eyes begin to get drowsy. "Fine." You mumble at him, easy into a more comfortable position. "But you're meditating with me tomorrow."

He promises he will, drifting into dreamworld without much thought and you already know he won't make due on his promise. Not that you care. Him holding you is soothing enough to make up for a lifetime of missed meditations.

It's finally that time of year. The eve of the summer solstice. You ask him if he wants to stay up with you and he agrees so you drag him to the nearest beach to sit together and watch the sunrise. You had packed everything you would need to stay out all night.

The day speeds by when you are both together. He watches you lay out offerings and enjoys the food you had spent all day making the day prior.

You both talk the whole day through. Some of it is jokes from Goo with heartwarming laughter that you return, some is discussion of what the solstice is and what it means and why you celebrate it, but most of it is meaningless banter that seems to come most often when it's just you both in each others presence.

By the end of the day though, you are completely exhausted as you lay in the sand of the beach once more. Goo doesn't allow it though. "You said this was the best part of the day, so up! I'll light the fire, c'mon, Y/N!" He takes the matchbox and lights the bonfire. Pocketing it, he reaches his hands out as you come closer so he can pull you in and begin dancing together.

"This is nice..." You say while he twirls you around. He agrees, keeping you on your feet until the sun has fully set behind you, pink and orange hues disappearing as darkness falls over you both.

Goo leans in for a kiss. It's different than most. It's soft, gentle even. He doesn't say much after, presumably tired out from the day you spent out with no sleep whatsoever. Only a few words come out while he drapes his arm over your shoulder and walks with you back to the car. "We can do this next year too." He says before his signature grin pulls his cheeks up—more genuine than most of his smiles—and a chuckle escapes him. "The cards said so."