#just had to share hope it's not annoying
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#neddie-ramone#i found another one lol#i really hated on this outfit back in the day lolol#at least I'm consistent#just had to share hope it's not annoying#i thought itwas funny tho#burn the corduroy jacket
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Some images of my Tsu plush from Creep Cat Toy Co. !!! I love her lots one of my fav plushes <3 !! Her glow spots are glow-in-the-dark fabric ,, its super neat !
#+ the blue duck was in the box w/ the plush when I got it :)#I just refer to her as tsunami but most folks call her Tide instead pfhb lots of my friends know Tide more then the canon wof charcaters its#real sweet <3#also unintentionally posed the first two like the post I just rbed apologies for that lmao#also pardon the beat-up state of my Lost Heir book .. its my v first wof book so its seen some things .. The Dragonet Prophesy is in worse#shape unfortunately </3#hopefully this isnât an annoying post at all I really . like plushes!! and wanna share em !! so I hope thats okay !!!#also these guys are still for sale ! I got lucky & got a discount on her but I still had to save up for a while <//3 the company that sells#em made dragons similar to all the DoD!#either way v cool . plush moment ! yeah !#plush#my glow-in-the-dark picture was hell to get âŚ. I took it while on a roadtrip in a tunnel lmao
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I'm irrationally obsessed with Garthy O'Brien, especially their voice, so I made a compilation of literally every word they speak in FHSY and PiroL. Enjoy!
@d20fuckability
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#pirates of leviathan#garthy o'brien#garthy oâbrien#garthy obrien#the name is bc I had to title it when I was making it in imovie and I couldn't think of anything better so I used this as a placeholder#but now it is garthycam in my heart forever đ#also fun fact I made this like last april lmao#I just didn't want to post it on my main blog and I didn't know where else to share it#but I finally gave in and just made a sideblog dedicated to it so here we are#hoping soundcloud's moderation system is still bad enough that they won't take this down#if they do I'll update this with a new link#I posted it on there because I didn't want it to be hosted on tumblr#bc that could get annoying when you're trying to listen to a 40-minute compilation lol#this way you can listen to it on soundcloud or download it or whatever#SoundCloud
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Confessing my sins to the internet because my irl friends don't know my tumblr
I'm actually a horrible friend and I don't plan to change :)
I'll be a good friend to anyone I actually like and I usually don't associate with people who I don't like, but sometimes there will be an occasional lonely (usually annoying) kid that follows me around. (They're lonely for a reason.) I kinda hate people who are loud literally all the time but I can hold my tongue and this kinda person just doesn't leave because they're not being told directly to leave.
What do I do? I talk to them only when I need them, I make unnecessarily mean comments as a joke, I point out their obvious flaws that I know they have a hard time changing, and all while they still follow me around like I'm not kinda bullying them.
Sometimes I'll treat them like an actual friend when I'm in a good mood, but if I'm not, then the unfortunate victim becomes my emotional punching bag. (I have ways to quickly fix my mood and this is completely unnecessary and I could distance myself until I feel better like how I do with actual friends.) I think this is like. Breadcrumbing? Anyways yeah, toxic shit.
If any of your "friends" treat you like this, they don't see you as a friend. If they leave you doubting if they like you or not, leave you doubting if you're actually friends, they probably don't see you as a friend. (because that's the case for me :3 )
I'm a horrible human being and I don't feel nearly as bad as I should about it :)
#i had a friend in primary school who was treated like this by me and my then best friend for the whole 6 years#she was very much bullied i think#we literally had a âclass x girls groupâ and âclass x girls group without (victim)â and we sometimes shit talked her in there#my best friend was a bit more obvious about not liking her#she would like be my shield anytime things got confrontational while i never stood up for myself#pretty sure she shared snacks with me a lot too and i just never returned the favour.#and now theres this boy that has nearly no friends who follow me around during breaks#just today i literally gave him the silent treatment because i was having an inner monologue and i didn't bother telling him#i even found it kinda funny that i walked around silently while he muttered to himself and questioned if he did anything wrong#like dude no you didn't do anything wrong but also i found it too funny to correct you#i have actual friends that i treat decently btw#like. without all this weird shit#i just take advantage of the loney and probably neurodivergent kids :)#moral of the story. please have more than 1 friend. especially irl. dont let them treat you like how i treat these poor âfriendsâ of mine#ive literally never told the 2 people i mentioned here anything along the lines of âim grateful i have youâ#feel free to stop being my friend because of a post like this :3#i wouldnt say i *like* being a horrible friend but also im like. not doing anything about it and not bothering to change for the sake of#these people who are already kind of outcasted and probably need someone to rely on#âim not doing charityâ proceeds to refuse basic respect to these people because theyre âannoyingâ#you could call this a vent post#im kind of telling myself that im a horrible person to begin with so i feel less bad about âbreaking characterâ on top of being guilty#honestly i hope this kind of person finds someone who genuinely accepts them because they deserve better than this#and also because theyre a headache for me and im sick of them
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Tbh I already miss the ease and convenience of having only Windows systems đ I kinda wish I could just keep doing what I've been doing until now. But yeah. Fuck you Windows, I guess.
#random stuff#Windows#linux#linux can be so annoying with all sorts of things#but what choice does one have if windows is so adamant about pulling all this bs#also for some reason one folder with all my art stuff in it is just gone from one of my drives#not sure what happened there it was still there yesterday#but today on boot it's just gone#0 files in that folder#maybe I or the cat pressed some keys on the keyboard accidentally#otherwise I can't imagine why they would be gone :(#I just hope I still have all the backups elsewhere#most of it is also on a different drive#but she files I think had been only in that folder so ugh#also why does the effing SHARE not show up on my laptop anymore even though it definitely did yesterday#cant it just WORK#also things are just breaking sometimes with linux updates and it's so annoying#linux truly is not for the faint of heart#both systems are annoying af just for different reasons lol#sometimes I can access the printer that's connected to the linux pc from the laptop#and sometimes not#what the heck#this also happens with shared folders
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i need 2 stop drawing static stuff . white bg . front facing pose. <will do it again
#i looked thru my media tab 2day .horrific#WHERES THA PURPOSEEEE E#there doesnt have 2 be any . of coursies .#but thats smt i want to work on rly hard T_T 2024!!!!!!!!!#smth smth reflection but i am happy with what ive done in 2023#definitely havent finished as many things as id hoped but thats okay.kind of touched on it w that one trgn comp a few months ago#but i tried 2 be more confident in areas i wasnt so sure abt before and it paid off in a way that im happy with T__Tâ¤ď¸#like despite all my gloom & burnout and artblock . i had a lot of fun . and im rly fortunate that ive been able to meet the nicest ppl#through it T__T#idk what jm talking abt anymore but j think . i am happy w the direction im headed in and i just need to work harder now on variability#and concept and composition. not rly sure where to start but i think compiling some of my favs in a single place#and studying them will help. :3.. AND NOT GIVING UP A SKETCH IF ITS FRUSTRATING ATMđđđđ#some of them ..that one w meryl and vash . i ould not for the life of me figure out and i was like soo done w it#but then i was likeno OK just do it who cares . and then i found a workflow that worked and it WAS SOO MUCH FUNNN AND I STILL RLY LOVE HOW#IT TURNED OUTTT ..#and the one w knives . the beautiful universe one . i rmbr being so annoyed by a similar attempt that inwas lkke fuck it im just gna use the#biggest brush ever and play arnd with stuff bc its not gna see the light of day and fhen j agonized abt sharing it and everyone WAS SOOO#NICE TO ME !!&2&2 LIKEEE it was one of my earliest trgn pieces so kind of new 2 da scene and lkke . idk man it helped me enjoy my art from#an outside perspective after struggling w the doubt and its now one of my favorites ever too âŚ#ORRR .. the vash and wolfwood one w the silly blue sky bg .. the textures were so mindless and fun#or the elendira . SOOO MANY FUN ELENDIRAS.. the perspective nail gun one is still a fav bc i shy away from perspective bc its hard as shit#but it worked out and i luv it tew .#sory anyways . very happy. and thankful^__^ ik when j post stuff like URRG MY ART!!!it mostly jst comes from .like GAAH want 2 push myself#harder bc i know itll be fun once i get 2 where im going T_T#anyways if u got 2 this point u r lkterally angel my angelll~ hamtaro pic#tys
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reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it
#'I'm so surprised that Elyss wasn't more interested in going to her mom's hometown now that you're in her homelands!'#YOU! CHANGED Nami's backstory so that she never traveled anywhere before having Elyss#and YOU decided that she never tells Elyss literally anything even when directly asked#because you're so desperate to make sure your players never know literally anything about whatever might happen to them ever#YOU made it feel not only unrewarding but as if it was actively unwelcome for you if I even talked to my mother!!#'we're making this very dangerous journey (that you've been retconned not to have made yourself so you can't spoil it)--#--assuming we survive can you please tell us anything at all about what to expect the other country to be like?'#'well. it is different than here. it may not be what you expect.'#'oooh why didn't you go to hometown' SUCK MY DICK I ASSUMED YOU'D BE ANNOYED IF I WENT THERE HOPING TO FIND ANYTHING#of course ELYSS wants to try to touch any part of her own heritage she can!!#do you think she doesn't wonder whether she has family there? do you think maybe it's weird that she doesn't already know??#when *I* built Elyss' mother I made her a traveler from a far-off land so neither of us had to worry about it#YOU decided to send us to THAT far-off land specifically and then REFUSE to let Nami actually TELL me anything about it!!#feels very much like you don't want me to engage with that! feels very much like you ACTIVELY don't want me to explore that connection!#and if it felt like *Nami* was being secretive about it then Elyss would be even more keen to investigate herself--#but it's just part of a well-established pattern of NPCs going 'it's a secret teehee' for very obviously no other reason than that--#the DM just doesn't ever want us to have information even if NPCs have that information and have no reason not to share it#anyway. tl;dr grief over elyss yearning her whole life for somewhere to belong#but not going to her mother's birthplace because she has no reason to believe there's anything there for her.#for purely stupid empty meta reasons.#'I'm surprised you didn't go there đ' so maybe he had something!#but my mother-- through you-- was so cagey about whether her parents even exist that I kind of just figured you didn't! so!!#about me#my OCs#elyss
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#ok so my thoughts about the last single's inferno ep#this is my opinion and I'll be very honest leave me alone#poor minkyu deserved better than gyuri that bitch is crazy#I think she just chose him as a last resort and cause she didn't want to end up alone.. she actually liked minwoo but he hurt her big ego#sieun and minwoo were kind of cute also kind of cringe but I caught myself smiling while watching them lmao#also sieun really hated wonik damn and I don't judge her guy can't take a hint and was being kind of annoying#now gwanhee and hyeseon... I really REALLY can't see or sense a connection between them and they were just soooooo boring to me SUPER BORIN#as much as I hated gwanhee most of the time I still wanted him to pick hajeong (I had hopes until last second) for the plot#and bc she liked him and my queen deserved to find love but oh well she's too good for him anyway#they were the only couple that was actually fun to watch and interesting and shared a visible connection TO ME#everybody liked gh and hs but I was so skeptical of their thing that I actually thought he was gonna choose minji#I never agree with the majority damn#single's inferno
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If you see me writing for Chris, don't worry about it
#i am just annoyed#and i don't think i was sad until a minute ago when i saw a post where he was talking about the 300th episode#god people fucking suck#like i wasn't a super frequent watcher of channie's room and I've definitely had my fair share of criticisms about it but it means so much#to him and so many people#i am truly hoping he gets it back#like for his birthday at the latest#lighting all of the manifestation candles đŻđŻđŻđŻ#call me terminally online or whatever and I'm aware it's not the end of the world#it's still fucking shitty though#you deserved and continue to deserve better chris#anyways let me distract myself with work or whatever#rj talks
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In grade 11 (age 16), i hated this one guy so intensely that i tried to get my frenemy to feed him a spoiled chicken salad
#basically frenemy and i were in the same bio / chem / english class and we were friends bc we sat next to each other#and joked around and stuff#but also enemies (one sided . my side to be specific) bc he was an annoying ass white kid who was so tone deaf and idiotic sometimes#to elaborate he would just say casually racist shit to me and i would have to sit there and explain to him why that was wrong and he would#be like 'ohhhhhhhhhh. okay well i guess i get it 𫤠being woke is so hard sometimes đŁ'#i wanted to push him down thr stairs sometimes but he used to share his notes with me so i didnt#anyway#we both had a mutual hatred for this other guy who was also in chem/bio/english with us#bc said guy was an insufferable fucking piece of shit#like openly racist homophobic transphobic like every ist and phobic possible basically#AND to top it off he had an inferiority complex and hated that the frenemy and i were constantly top of the class#so basically one day white boy frenemy and i got so sick of this dude that we were like#what if we traumatised him permanently thus altering the trajectory of his high school career#bc im smart and i didnt want to take the fall in case we got caught i got the frenemy to prepare rotting food prettily in a salad container#and we were about to give it to the guy the following day only to realise he was absent#so. yeah#to this day i hope that guy dies a painful death#z.post
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I feel like i need to rewatch the first 3 episodes of season 2 again w/ this new infoâŚ
Or is this just smthn that was going on for this one episode. Cos istgâŚ
#shut up ray#iykyk#okay ignore the rest of these tags now#BUT I WAS SO MAD AT HELLY FOR LYING THAT EPISODE WHERE THEY ALL SAID WHAT HAPPENED#and i was like???? but why would she fucking do that????? i guess shame? but she has info she could share why would she hide that from them?#they promised to stick together#and obv the Dylan family visit thing was to pull him away from the group#but i couldnt figure out how they were gonna fuck w/ the others#so now i feel like i need to rewatch those first three episodes#and stare at Helly the whole time#so far i still prefer the first season#but im trying not to be too critical.. i know being depressed can make you kind of close-minded and i am trying to push past that#it is also serving bury the gays a tadâŚ. but again⌠weâll see⌠im being patient#but if it turns out it was Helena all this time for season 2⌠im gonna feel bad for judging Helly so harshly#if Helly wasnt there for any of that and im just sat here getting mad at her sldjskfjfj#irvâŚ. oughghhg⌠also who tf is Burtâs outtieâŚ. idk if i wanna know tbh#i feel like it will make me more sad for Irv than i already am#we know the innie is still there even if they are fired so im holding out hope weâll see Irv B again#also boy that sex scene had me literally rolling my eyes so hard akfhejfj IM SORRY IDC ABT THEIR ROMANCE#i didnt get any romantic chemistry from them in the first season i was honestly hoping theyd just write it out skfjdkfj#i was waiting for them to burn their head on the space heater and stop#wish Dylan wouldve come in w/ a spray bottle and spritzed them a few times#the sex scene was abt as sexy as the fox mating calls i was putting up w/ in December#(which is to say- not sexy. actually annoying)#srry for being so heterophobic đđđđđ we all have flaws#(tbf i think were were supposed to be feeling uncomfortable abt that scene considering Irvâs situation at the time?)#(im just a Mark X Helly hater sorry)
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â sugar, sugar
[part ii] | [part iii] | [masterlist]
wolverine/logan howlett x neighbor!f!reader
rated e - 6.5k
tags: asshole friend!wade, (sorta soft) roommate!logan, baker!neighbor!reader, flirting, mutual yearning, immature humor, a reference to while you were sleeping, wingman!wade and the worse way to meet someone, light angst, oral sex, swallowing, fingering, v. light ass play, unprotected PiV, appearance of The Claws, whatâs a refractory period, sorta audible voyeurism (brief/humorous)
a/n: includes spoilers for deadpool & wolverine (which omg I loved - what was your fave cameo?)
Your eccentric neighbor Wade may drive you a little up the wall⌠but, youâre willing to put up with him if it means heâll introduce you to his new, grumpy-looking roommate.
âYou gonna introduce me?â
Youâve cornered Wade in the apartmentâs laundry room - the door to the front-loading washer hanging open as he holds a bundle of red fabric up to his chest.
âYou think this will wash out?âÂ
The suit in question looks like it had been run over by a truck and then set on fire, with the rips criss-crossed in the leather and the numerous charred holes scattered across the chest.
âDefinitely.â Your eyes flicker down, and then back up, âSo, will you?â
He bundles the suit up - flinging into the back of the washer, the laundry basket still tucked under an arm.
âReally? Not even âhello, Wadeâ? âLooking good, Wadeâ?â His voice pitches up, imitating yours, âDoes our friendship really mean nothing to you?â
You wouldnât necessarily call Wade Wilson a friend.
In fact, heâs honestly the worst neighbor youâve ever had.Â
Loud, obnoxious. Persuasive - the first night you met you had been banging on his door at three in the morning, yelling at him to shut up as music and a caterwauling voice blared through the shared wall.
Ten minutes later you were playing the drums on his late night session of Rock Band, using a banana and a wooden spoon in place of sticks. Only for Althea to stomp out of her room and shut everything down, scaring both of you out of your skins. Â
But sometimes, you think - remembering the times he came through for you, a shoulder to cry on, helping him this slump heâs been digging himself out of - he might just be the best, as well.
And maybe that was friendship, after all.Â
You sigh, leaning against the row of washers. Eyes flicking over him, a small smile tugging at your lips.
âYou do look good, Wade,â Thereâs a tilt of your head, the smile widening, âGlad you lost the toupee, that really wasnât your color.â
âAh, ah. Repurposed,â He chides, cupping his crotch, âYou wouldnât believe how much Iâve missed-â
âEw, stop.â Your face scrunches, a hand covering your eyes as you shield your vision, âWill you please just answer my question?â
He throws a handful of shirts in the washer, âWhich was...?â
Your head shakes - a hand on his arm as you reach for a glint of gold in the pile of clothes. Cringing as a handgun appears, held gingerly between thumb and forefinger as you set it on the side table.
âGood call,â He nods, âDry clean only.â
You can't help a laugh then, even as your hands brace on your hips, âI want to meet your roommate.â
He frowns, âYouâve met Blind Al.â
âJesus, Wade. Not Al." A hand waves, " I mean Mister Tall, Dark, and Brooding.â
Youâve seen the stranger in the hallways a few times in the month since heâs moved in. Scruffy and scowling the first time, a silent shadow behind Wadeâs endless chatter.Â
But in the weeks following, that look had softened. Youâd stopped by twice with cookies to welcome him, but every time youâve just gotten Al.
Not that you dislike Al, thatâs not it at all. Sheâs sweet enough to you when itâs not 3 a.m. or if Wade doesnât have her annoyed half to death.
But you certainly werenât harboring a crush on her. Maybe even secretly hoping that maybe the new neighbor will get a little lost and end up at your door, instead of his new place. Â
âOoh,â The syllables draw out - detergent flung in, before heâs leaning against the washer too, facing you. âYeah, Logan. He's great, got a mean âHugh Jackmanâ vibe, just without the singing. Youâd like him.â
Something like hope flutters in your belly, but then heâs raising a finger - wiggling it at you, âJust one question though. Whatâs in it for me?â
That has you scowling, âWhat do you mean? You owe me. I covered for you when you had that barqueue in the stairwell.â
âGod, that was great sausage.â Wade groans, thinking back, âMmm, but I think Peter covered for me.â
âWho do you think got Peter?â
âWell, I donât remember seeing you.â He shrugs.
âI was right-,â You pinch the bridge of your nose between thumb and forefinger, a sharp exhale of breath, âFine. If you do this for me, Iâll do that thing you keep asking me to do.â
Wade gasps gleefully, âYou mean youâll make the triple decker-â
â-chocolate caramel cheesecake chimichangas. Yes.â You finish with him, arms crossing over your chest, âYouâre lucky you heal fast because that should put you right into a food coma.â
âRight. Lucky me,â He smirks. A second as he thinks, before he snaps his fingers, âIâm having a little get-together tonight! You should come. Was gonna invite you anyway.â
The pounding in your head ratchets up at the thought that all this couldâve been avoided.
âLogan sleeps on the couch, though,â He adds, sagely, âSo just letting you know that if the two of you decide to get your fuck on in my bed, according to the state of New York I am legally allowed to join you.â
âThanks for the warning,â You grimace - even if youâre certain that cannot possibly be true, âBut I do have my own apartment.â
âOh, right.â Thereâs the faintest edge of disappointment in his tone, paired with a sigh.
You give him a sideways look, then.
âI saw Vanessa leaving yesterday. Things getting better?â
He sobers at that, eyes moving towards the sliver of a window. The glimpse of the street outside.
âYeah.â Wade manages, âYeah, I think so.â
There had once been a flicker of something. In-between your annoyance and exasperation, there were tendrils of tenderness. Long snuffed out, when you had seen just how banged up his heart was. How itâs always belonged to another.Â
You had gotten over it. Gotten to a place where seeing him now, like this, makes you smile.
âIâm really glad to hear that.âÂ
He smiles, then.
âThanks. Me too.â
âHey, hold on.â Wade darts in front of his roommate, a leg kicked up high to block the doorway, âWhere are you going? You canât go out.â
Logan scowls, an arm already shoved into his leather jacket, âSure I can.â
The blow against his shoulder might move a lesser man, but Wadeâs fingers just grip the frame even tighter, âBut I promised-, I got a friend that wants to meet you. There is some really important shit at stake here. I canât let you go.â
An eyebrow cocks, âCanât? I think we both know how that would go if you tried to stop me.â
It would be easy to get into this right here and now, but his suit is still in the dryer and heâs not about to spend another hour cleaning up blood.
âWait, wait, wait,â He throws a hand up, âArenât you listening to me? A girl wants to meet you. Sheâs hot, she has a job, and she has an apartment. Youâre only one outta three there. Canât you see what a good opportunity this is? This is totally in your favor!â
Logan scoffs, his tongue tucking against his teeth. Hesitating for just a second, but it's enough that Wade knows heâs got him.
âIâve met your friends,â He eventually acknowledges, âTheyâre good folk and all, but there isnât anyone there Iâd like to âget to know betterâ, yeah?â
âYou havenât met this one. She lives next door.â
The pause stretches longer this time. Dark eyes dart out into the hallway, and Wade can practically hear those rusted gears turning.
âApartment 16 or 18?â Logan finally rasps, his arms crossing.Â
Oh, heâs definitely got him. Just call him Wade Wilson, New Yorkâs own personal Cupid. New life goal - get his friends laid.Â
He nocks a mental arrow - aiming, and then firing with his answer.Â
â18.âÂ
Another beat passes, and then a sigh.Â
âAlright.â The leather sleeve slips from his arm, drooping in his fist.
âFive minutes. Thatâs all Iâm staying.â
Wadeâs fist pumps.Â
Bullseye, motherfucker.Â
The apartment is packed and itâs been well past the allotted five minutes. Loganâs been nursing a beer for the last fifteen, eyes flicking over the people heâs grown to know well.
Offering a tight, half-smile when the big man claps him on the back, followed by Opposites Attract. Almost tempted to find that damn dog, just to have something to do.Â
Or maybe, just bail all-together.
Starting to think this was all an elaborate prank. Some fucked up aspect of this Earth, unknown to him until now.
Heâs too old for this shit. If he heads for the bedroom now, he might make it out the fire escape before anyone notices.
Logan is still entertaining this new thread of thought until he hears his name - called out over whatever fuck-face bullshit boy-band music Wadeâs been playing.Â
Ambiance, his ass.
The muscles of his crossed arms flex. Catching the way his roommate hauls a girl across the floor - the look of panic on her face as she tosses a container onto the nearest surface.
Wade hadnât been lying, after all. It was Apartment 18 - that was about as much as he knew about you.
Other than the color of your eyes. The smell of your perfume in the hall. Your hair, your schedule - waking in the mornings to hear your door opening at 5 a.m., five days a week.
A baker. A damn good one, from the bits of cookie heâs snuck when no one was home.Â
Had never thought to introduce himself, because heâs been through all this before. Knows better than to reach out in the first place - still nursing the old wound of heartache, one that still flares to life in his chest.
Better not to hope, or even think, at all.Â
You stumble when he lets go, and Loganâs hands only curl tighter. Afraid to touch, now that youâre so close.Â
A pretty young thing compared to him. This was a fucking stupid idea, his eyes darting away as Wade claps, his hands spreading wide.Â
âLogan,â Wadeâs tone is cordial, as if discussing the weather, âThis is our neighbor, Sugar. She bakes a mean penis cake and likes emotionally unavailable men.â
A dejected sigh as he regards you, âWhich is why itâs never worked out between us. I am just too available.â
Penis cake?
Logan shoots you a sideways look, an eyebrow cocked. Caught off guard by this unexpected intro, and it seems you are the same - gauging by the way your mouth drops open.Â
Your face swimming with regret, as you hiss, âOh my god. Wade. It was one time. Why do you have to put it like that?â
Wadeâs smile widens, his tone still innocent, âJust skipping over the âgetting-to-know-youâs, so you can know if youâre compatible.â
Already pivoting to face Logan with a little wink, his own scowl already deepening. Something like nerves flickering to life - as he wonders if this will all be over before it ever begins.
âAnd this is Logan. Heâs from another Earth, is two-hundred years old, and has a metal dong.â
Jesus Christ.Â
Loganâs teeth grit, before he snarls, âItâs not made of metal-â
Out of the corner of his eye, catches the curious dip of your gaze. Past the folded twist of his arms, the flannel, down to his thick belt buckle.
A knock rings out then, interrupting him from any further clarification.
âOoh! Door,â Wade thumbs over his shoulder, âGo on now, weâve got some good energy going here. Sugar and spice, I love it.â
A spin on his heel, and heâs leaving them alone. Silence a lingering companion for a long moment, before Logan turns.
âNice to meet you.â He seethes, jaw working as he shoots daggers at Wadeâs back. A hand extended - heâd manage that much at least.
Waiting for you to make an excuse and run, but all you do is fit your hand into his. Soft and strong and a near perfect fit.
Logan doesnât touch people much anymore unless itâs a hand around a throat, or claws buried deep into a chest. Had almost forgotten what it was like, even if this meeting is close to his own personal version of hell.
âNice to finally meet you, too.â Your smile is wry. Hands still clasped a moment longer, until heâs withdrawing.Â
Your hands shove into your back pockets. The tilt of a head as you regard him, and he lets his eyes meet yours.Â
Theyâre pretty, like the rest of you. Captivating even, if he could use such a word, and Wadeâs words ring out in his head.Â
She wants to meet you.
Heâs wondering if thatâs still true. Maybe youâre wondering the same, with the way you look at him.Â
âSo,â You begin, awkwardly - another unconscious flick of your eyes,âHow does-â
âUh-uh.â Loganâs head shakes. Heâs picked up a couple things living with Wade. Never used to be a bargaining man, but he has to admit it has its uses.Â
âIf you wanna know, you gotta go first.âÂ
He hates you.
He must, with the way heâs scowling. Thighs spread wide as he sits on the couch you had gestured to, fingers in a vice grip around the bottle. No doubt plotting a dozen ways to ditch you the second he can.
Who wouldnât, with a meeting like this? You could kill Wade, cheeks burning as you sink into the worn cushions next to him.
That is, until your knee knocks against his. The muscles in his thigh flexing - but Logan lets it rest, instead of pulling away.Â
âYou gonna-?â His voice is gruff, a low rasp that makes goosebumps raise across your skin.Â
âUh, sure.â Your fingers twist, âWhich part did you want to hear about?â
His eyebrows lift. Those dark eyes beneath, almost a hint of amusement in them.
âRight,â The little laugh that bubbles from you is self-conscious, âWell, I donât really like emotionally unavailable men, they just have a habit of finding me.â
His voice is low, âHow would Wade know that?â
âMm, how would he know about your-?â Your eyes flicker down for the third time, and he shifts.Â
âYou first.â
âAlright.â You huff, but youâre smiling now. Some of your discomfort easing.Â
Logan is even more handsome than you had thought. You like the way his eyes dart away, only to come back and linger.Â
Itâs starting to make you think that maybe itâs not dislike that has so much of him hidden away. Maybe itâs just been a long time since someone tried to peel any of him back.Â
Maybe heâs as nervous as you are.
âWell, heâs had to scare an ex or two away.â You shrug, âHe only knows because I told him. And the cake, oh-, that was him, too.â
You turn then, to face him. A shoulder brushing the arm he has thrown across the back of the couch, a flicker in his eyes as you get comfortable beside him.
âWell, Wade had gotten ripped in half a couple years ago,â You nose wrinkles, a wave of your hand, âAnd it all like, has to grow back, right? Itâs so creepy.â
Logan grimaces at your explanation, and you wonder if he understands. You think he must - you had thought he was like Wade, in some ways.Â
Different. Special.
âWell, he uh, finished growing everything in,â You make a sweeping gesture over your lower half, âAnd the next year to celebrate his dickiversary, he ordered a penis cake from my shop.â
âHis⌠dickiversary.â Logan repeats slowly.
The heat is back in your cheeks, but you nod, âYeah, because it like, it came back and all. And he paid in cash, I couldnât say no.â
Thereâs the smallest twitch of Loganâs lips, and it feels like a victory.
âRight. What flavor was it?â
Your smile widens with relief, âStrawberries and cream. It was so good. Iâll have to make it for you sometime.â
A second before you cringe, adding, âI mean, a normal one. NotâŚâ
He hums then, close to a laugh. Â
âSure. You do that.â
You smile, letting your shoulder bump his, âAnd with that⌠I think itâs your turn.â
The bit of humor in his expression flattens. A searching look thrown your way, before he inhales a breath.
Setting it free.Â
âIâm a mutant.â
Logan waits there, as if expecting something. You only nod, thinking of the ones you know. Colossus, Ellie, Yukio, Domino. Wade.Â
âWade said you were similar to him. I had assumed-â You encourage, waiting.
âRight,â He seems relieved, some of the tension ebbing, âMy powers are regenerative, like his. But unlike him, I have these-â
Thereâs the jerk of his wrist, and three sharp metal claws sprout from between his knuckles. Your gasp is caught in your throat as you cling to his flannel shirt - the surprise bleeding into worry.Â
They glint in the light, as his fingers flex.Â
âAdamantium instead of bones. All of me is like this.â
The claws sheath themselves inside him again. His wounds smoothing over seconds later, as he scrubs his knuckles across his jeans, wiping away blood.Â
Offering out his hand, after. Letting your grip unwind from his shirt, and press against his skin instead. Feeling the tendons in his hand, his wrist. The skeleton beneath utterly unyielding, a weight to his limb that is so unlike your own.
âMetalâŚâ You trail off, as pieces click into place, âI get it now. So does Wade really think thereâs like, an actual bone-?â
Logan huffs again, âGuess so.â
You laugh then. A thought sobering you after, as a fingertip drifts up to the dip between his fingers.Â
âBut doesnât that hurt?âÂ
It makes you wince to even think about it. Much less how casually they sprung from him, no different than breathing.Â
He shrugs, and itâs heartbreaking.
âDoesnât even phase me anymore.â
âAnd, the two hundred years,â Another facet you put together out loud, âYouâre still alive because you keep healing? Will it be that way forever?â
His hand flexes in your grip.
âNot forever. Apparently my powers will run out, at some point.â His eyes meet yours, âThe Logan in this world is dead. Wade pulled me from another.â
Your brow furrows - always trying to keep up with the snippets that Wade has told you across the years - stories about time-traveling and mutants and even how he came to be. But this seems too deep. Surely Logan must be joking.
âAnother world, huh?â You ask, head tilting - trying your best to roll with it, âWonât they miss you in yours?â
Only now does his face falter. That sharp mask cracking, as his hand pulls from yours. Resting again on the back edge of the couch - his answer low and rough.Â
âNo. I donât think so.â
Another jolt racks through your heart. You donât know him know him yet, but you already canât believe that could possibly be true. Your fingers fan out, hovering - before it folds into a fist.
âWell then, Iâm glad youâre here.â
He doesnât reply.Â
The room is darker now, dim with the setting of the sun. Street lights outside pouring in a golden beam that cuts across his face.Â
His eyes are hazel, you can see that now. A fading rim of green spilling into the brown, beneath the near-permanent furrow of his eyebrows.Â
Yours caught in the glow of the flamingo string lights that curl out from the kitchen, stapled to the walls.
He breaks the silence, the words coming slowly.Â
âLet me ask you one more thing.âÂ
âSure. You know some of my worst secrets already.â You smile, a shoulder lifting.
His hand twitches, where it rests near your shoulder. The tip of a finger ghosting against skin.
Just the slightest brush but it feels like it radiates out, lingering after.
âWhyâd you tell Wade you wanted to meet me?âÂ
His voice is still low, rough. But itâs lost that sharp edge. The combination has your stomach tied up in knots, suddenly more nervous that youâve been the whole night.
Surely he must know?Â
âWellâŚâ You hedge. Itâs your turn to look away, but then thereâs the brush of his fingers again.
âBecause I did want to meet you.â You admit, âYou, you seemed like someone I wanted to get to know. In whatever capacity youâd like.â
âIs that right, Sugar?â Logan husks, and the nickname sounds even sweeter on his tongue, stealing your breath.
All you can do is nod, as his eyes darken.Â
Voices rise behind you, ripping you out of this little bubble youâve found yourself in. Nearly forgetting just how many people are here, how many eyes have been glancing your way since youâve arrived.
âNot strip poker Wade, please.â The rough rumbling plea of Colossusâs voice rings out above the others, âYou never wear anything under the suit-â
You didnât even realize when he had changed, but he had - patches of bare skin on his ass showing through the holes. Your nose scrunches, before you turn back to realize that Loganâs eyes are still on you.
Dropping when your tongue peeks out to wet your lips - your words coming out in a soft hush.Â
âYou want to get out of here?â
You want him. You can only hope that he might just want you, too.
The corner of his lip twitches.
âThought youâd never ask.â
Itâs strange to have someone like Logan in your space. You can remember the last time youâve wanted someone here.
His fingers still entwined with yours, from where you had reached back for him. Leading him through the dim corners of the room.
Thinking you had made it, only for the rousing cheers to rise when you had cracked the door open to slip through.
His grip tightening when you made to tug your hand free, in an urge to press it against burning cheeks. Letting you fumble with one hand, to open the lock next door.
Itâs quieter here. A low echo of the music next door, as the darkness wraps around you again.
Here, his fingers move, but itâs only to skim up your wrist. To tug you between him and the front door, until your back presses against it.Â
His nose brushes yours as he steps into your space, your lips already parting. Holding himself there for a moment, inhaling the scent of you as his arm braces above your head.
Leaving you to be the one that closes the gap. The tilt of your head and the press of your lips against his.
A rough hum when your arms wrap around his neck, fingers buried in his hair. His hand gripping at your waist, pulling your hips against his.
Tugging and pushing. A messy path from the front door through the small living room - a mirror-image of the apartment next door.
Through to the bedroom, wandering hands and the brush of his tongue against yours as he deepens the needy kiss. Until his knees are hitting the edge of your bed, and heâs letting you nudge him back onto the mattress.
He brings you with him - your hips cradling his as you settle yourself astride him. Hands flatten against his chest as you rock down - drawing a rough, mumbled âfuckâ.
Grinding yourself down where heâs hard, the curve of his cock straining against his jeans. Letting your hands follow, as his own cup your ass. Squeezing, before slipping to press the heel of his hand against the seam at your clit.
You moan into his mouth, as your fingers curl around him. Eyes blown wide when you pull back, scooting your hips down.Â
Itâs here that he comes back to himself.Â
Going tense as you fit yourself between his thighs, fingers at this belt as the other still cups him.
âYou shouldnât want this.â He rasps, those eyes glinting in the dark, âA man like me. You know that, right?â
Propping himself up on an elbow, so he can see your expression. So you can see the way his jaw grits, nostrils flaring.Â
Itâs a warning, wrapped up in silk. A last ditch effort to scare you away - knowing that once he has you, he wonât want to stop.
Your fingers slow - his zipper half-undone, baring skin and a dark shadow of hair beneath.Â
The other pulling away, âYou want me to stop?âÂ
He catches your wrist, jerking your hand back. His hips bucking into your palm, grinding himself into your touch.Â
âThe last thing I want to fucking do is stop.â Itâs almost a growl, âBut on my Earth, I-â
You sigh then, impatient, âLogan, this Earth isnât all that great either. I lost five years of my life to the blip.â
He frowns, not understanding - but your head shakes as you continue, âIâm tired of being too scared to take chances. Iâve been trying to live each day to the fullest, and Iâd like to end this one with you.â
And out of everyone - Logan knows a little something about second chances.
âYeah,â He manages - the grip of his fist leaves you, âYeah, okay.â
"Thank you,â You answer primly, just as you finish yanking the zipper down.Â
His hand beats you in the race to ease himself out, fingers curling around the base. You canât help it - you inhale a breath at the sight of him.
Heavy, with the way the flushed tip bobs in his grip. Thick enough that youâre already wondering if youâre going to be able to take him.Â
The huff he makes turns into a groan as you start small - engulfing the leaking head with your lips. The first inch turns into another as his hips lift, feeding his cock into your waiting mouth.Â
Only when heâs halfway inside you, bumping against your throat, does his hand drop. Letting you replace it with your own - squeezing, as drool slicks up his shaft. Your head bobbing in time with the twist of your fist.
That brief hesitance is quickly forgotten. Fingers brush at your cheek, curling around the base of your head as he guides you.
Leaving you eager for more. Another hissed groan when your mouth leaves him, your hand loosening as you strip your clothes away.
âOh fuck yes,â He coaxes, when he realizes what youâre doing, âLet me see you, baby.âÂ
Your shirt and pants left to pool on the floor. A second of boldness as you unclasp your bra next, leaving you in your panties as you focus on his cock again.Â
A bitten-back moan when your tongue slips across his swollen shaft - an low throb between your thighs as you rub them together, clenching around nothing. Resisting the urge to slip your hand beneath the hem to ease the ache.Â
Instead, your keep your hands on him. Goosebumps raising as your nails scratch against the deep v of muscle at his hips. The others working him into your mouth, as he slowly comes more undone.Â
His hips flex with each bob of your head, lips parted as he pants. The words a rough mumble, becoming almost desperate.Â
âThatâs it sweetheart.â
Another moan when you take him deep, hollowing your cheeks as you suck, âOh fuck, gonna fill that pretty mouth.â
His hand cups your jaw, holding you steady as he bucks into your mouth. Those dark eyes fixed on you in wonder, all that pretty skin bared for him to touch, to taste. Heâs mesmerizing like this - the weight of gaze. Jaw slack with pleasure, eyes aflame.
You did this to him.Â
It sends something warm flooding through you, as his eyelashes flutter. The tipping back of his head, muscles ticking in his cheek as his teeth ground down.Â
A sound still slips between them, as he floods your mouth with the next flex of his hips. Pulsing between your lips as you swallow him down, a choked sound ripping from his chest when you cup his sack to gently squeeze out every last drop.Â
Logan melts into the mattress after, an arm thrown over his eyes as he catches his breath. His gaze focusing on you when he feels you squirm - dark, and hungry.
A lithe stretch of muscles as he moves - legs easing from beneath you.Â
âHands and knees,â He commands, head tipping towards the bed next to him, as he rolls off. Kicking off his jeans as you listen, watching over a shoulder as the flannel and white tank underneath joins your clothes on the floor.
Your eyes widen at how toned he is - muscles rippling, the bed dipping as he fits himself behind you.
His broad hand at the small of your back, pushing your torso down against the mattress. A pleased hum then, fingers trailing just along the elastic edge of your underwear.
âCould smell how much she needed this.â The tips of two press against the damp fabric between your thighs, making you gasp, âEven next door. You want it that bad?â
It should be embarrassing that he could tell how much you desired him, but at the moment all you can think about is him touching you more.
âYes,â You agree, âPlease, Logan.â
âSo fuckinâ polite,â The fingers withdraw; but only so his nose can replace them. A ragged inhale, just before his tongue drags against your clothed slit.
A groan against your skin as you cry out, before a finger hooks around the fabric, baring you for him to taste.
The heat of his tongue flattens against you - lapping at where you drip with need, a rough rumble in his chest.Â
âSweet, too.â Another flick of his tongue, âYour name. âs fitting.â
You canât manage words. Only his name, muffled against the sheets as your fists twist in them. Back arched as you resist the urge to grind yourself against his tongue, as it flicks against your clit.
Itâs messy, how he eats you. You donât think youâve even had someone take you like this. Hungry, desperate even, as he devours you. The rumble of a groan against your cunt as his tongue delves inside you, stretching you open. Letting your slick smear into his beard, with how close he presses his mouth.
That need inside you thrumming. Winding tighter as he yanks your panties down your thighs. His palm flattening against your ass, holding you open as he licks you from clit to hole, then higher. Humming as you squeak, when his tongue flattens against your tight rim.Â
A thick finger nudging against you then, as his tongue dips back to your clit. Thereâs no resistance as it slips deeper, into slick walls that clamp down around him. Itâs what you needed - that little bit more.
Unable to help rocking into the crook of his finger now. Whining when a second joins it, spearing deep and curling. Dragging against your walls, loud and wet and filthy with each plunge.Â
Your whimpers only grow louder. Needier, as his lips wrap around your clit. Fingers pounding deep, stretching you out. Leaving you babbling, your words slipping together.Â
âDonât fucking stop.â Tears prick at your eyes, each breath a rattling gasp, âOh my god youâre gonna make me come-â
He has you gushing, with the next flick of his tongue. A pleased groan as he feels your pussy tighten around his fingers, hearing the wail that is muffled into your pillows. That sharp pace slowing, his thumb replacing his tongue to draw your orgasm out until your legs are shaking.Â
His fingers sticky when they pull from you, only to slip between his lips - tongue curling around his knuckles, sucking them clean.
It leaves you floating above yourself. You canât remember ever coming this hard, even by yourself. Only the tintest thread of disappointment as you drift, and itâs only that you wonât get the pleasure of his cock filling you tonight.
You wouldâve liked to see what he can do with the rest of him.Â
Perhaps you can convince him to stay until morning.
But he moves behind you, instead. His knee pressing against yours, spreading your legs further. The rhythmic shuffle of skin against skin, as his hand slips from between his lips to fist around his cock.Â
âTell me I can fuck you.â Itâs not a plea, not with the harsh rasp of his voice. But itâs as close as youâve heard, as he swipes the tip against your leaking pussy.
Smearing your slick on him, teasing at your waiting hole.
You donât know how heâs hard again, but at the moment you really donât care. Not sure if youâve ever felt a need like this, your back arching further as you present yourself to him.Â
A twist of your neck, so your eyes can meet his.Â
âFuck me, Logan.âÂ
He groans, broad hands squeezing at your ass. Slipping up to sink his fingers into the flesh at your hips. Holding you steady as he lines himself up.Â
Your breath held, when you feel his cock start to breach you - muscles stringing tight.
âRelax, sweetheart,â He grits out, though not unkindly, âYou can take it.â
Trying to hold himself back from filling you with a single thrust, with the way youâre already gripping him.
Easing himself into your heat. Two inches forward and then one back, and with each one you think youâll feel the press of his thighs against yours. A low whine as your cunt makes room for him, that sharp stretch as it feels like heâs reaching into your belly.
Feeling full when he finally is flush, the weight of his sack kissing against your clit. His shoulders following the curve of your back, as a hand slips up to plant next to your head.
âFeels fucking incredible,â Itâs mumbled against your skin, almost as if it hadnât meant to say it.Â
âMm,â You grin, your face tipping up to his, âShouldâve met you weeks ago.â
He smirks, a low sound in his throat as his mouth presses to yours. Starting a slow rhythm that drags his cock against your walls. Slipping until heâs halfway out, only to sheath himself again. Pushing the air from your lungs as he flattens himself, knees digging into the bed as your thigh spread wider - forcing him deeper.
Itâs almost too much.Â
You hand shoots out, reaching. Wrapping around his wrist, nails biting against his skin.Â
It feels like heâs surrounding you. Each thrust a heavy weight that presses you into the bed. Splitting you open, until all you can do is squirm beneath him.
That pressure in your belly building again, as his hips pound. His breath, hot and panting in your ear as he chases his own end.
âFuck, Logan.â You sob, âHarder-â
His tendons flex under your grip. Knuckles pressing flat against the sheets as he makes a rough sound in his throat.Â
Those claws unsheathing with his next thrust. Punching down into your mattress. Anchoring as he loses himself to the feel of you beneath him.
How tight and wet and warm you are, your arousal still sweet on his tongue. Fighting the urge to sink his teeth into your throat, as everything tightens up inside him.
âSweetheart.â Itâs a warning, rasped out.Â
âCome in me,â You whine, âWanna feel you.â
He does growl then, at the thought of filling you to the brim, until he's leaking out of your pretty little pussy. Hips snapping faster, pinning you to the bed as he ruts into you. Each squeak of the bed paired with the sharp rip of fabric as his claws dig in.Â
Feeling how your body strings tight beneath him, how you clench down in anticipation. Wanting to feel you once more, before he gives in to his own desires.
âCome on, baby,â Itâs hushed, murmured against your skin, âFuckinâ give it to me-â
The sharp point of a canine scraping against your skin, his groan rough and throaty in your ear.Â
Your fingers work down to wedge themselves between your thighs. The tips brushing where youâre speared open, before circling your clit like his tongue had.
He has you mindless. Fucked out - that soft glow from your earlier orgasm shining bright as he tips you towards a second.
Burning at that tightly wound thread inside you, until the ends fray, and then snap.Â
It has you coming with his next thrust. A wail ripped from you as he buries himself deep, feeling the way your pussy clenches down around him.Â
Fingers still swirling, drawing out the deep pulses that fan out from your core as your toes curl, vision going hazy.
âThatâs it, sweetheart,â He rasps, those sharp thrust slowing to a sloppy grind, âMake a fucking mess for me, there you go-â
Panting, as he groans. Another roll of his hips before heâs coming with you - teeth bruising skin as they sink into your shoulder. The sound he makes is broken as he spills into you, muscles clenching with each pulse that paints your walls. Â
Marking you thoroughly with teeth and come, the saw of his hips slowing until you both finally go still. A breath finally caught.Â
Blissed out, when he rolls you both to the side. His thighs still mapping yours, cock still notched deep. A thick arm thrown across your waist, his breath ragged in your ear as he catches his breath.
Your fingers drift, as you bask in your afterglow. Dipping into the rips in your mattress, knuckle deep.
Thereâs a grunt as you wiggle, the words low in your ear, âIâll get you another, sweetheart. Just lost control for a moment.â
The thought doesnât bother you as much as youâd think. In fact, you wouldnât mind if happened again.
Only as your imagination runs wild, do you hear the muffled moan from the brick wall behind you.
âFuck, thatâs good.â
Dramatic and drawn out, paired with faint rhythmic noise.Â
A beat - before you hear mumbled protesting. The voice of someone talking with their mouth full, âNo. Back the fuck off Peter, Iâm not going to share.âÂ
Eating. The fucker was eating his end of the bargain, ear pressed to the wall.
The next louder, âAlright, pay up everyone, Operation âGet Sugar Some Sugarâ was a success!â
You grimace, eyes rolling. Logan grunts behind you, the words mumbled out sleepily.
âWish I could sew that goddamn mouth shut.â
Thereâs a faint âthey already tried that!â before Loganâs fist bangs on the wall, shutting him up.
But you canât help the smile. Your fingers fitting between the ones that rest just below your breasts, squeezing.
âHeâs not so bad,â You admit, âWade, I mean.â
Logan groans, âDonât say his name while Iâm fucking you.â
âYouâre-â You start - but then you can feel him.
Still hard - as his hips cant slowly against yours. Your joined hands slip up to cup a breast - as his lips press against your neck, stubble scraping you skin.
âAgain?â You breathe, disbelieving that heâd be up for a third time - your hips rocking back to meet his. The sound lewd with how he drips from you - but it only has him grinding himself deeper, âYou sure youâre two hundred?â
âRegenerative powers, sweetheart.â Logan husks, the flash of teeth with a knowing smirk.
âCanât say it doesnât come with perks.â
I used to have the biggest fucking crush on wolverine, haha - so fun to watch a new movie with him!! đđ thank you so much for reading! And please me know if you'd like to read any more for him! (like more one-shots,etc!)
#phew this got away from me - i can't remember the last time I wrote this much in 2 days#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#wolverine smut#logan howlett#james logan howlett x reader#xmen x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett x f!reader
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eep!
#cryptic ramblings#in the tags#feelinggggg a little bit neglected by me irl friend group đ#just like. every time i say smthn/yap a lil i dont tend to get much acknowledgement??#vs the other two will always get some kinda acknowledgement etc both from me and the other (theres 3 of us)#idk im hoping its my pre-period bs talking n overanalyzing things but like... idk#bc its like. we're all stressed bc of our jobs n like other stuff#n we all share w eachother! abt those stressors! n we sympathize n offer advice n help where necessary!#like these r my Best Friends. theyd both be my Co-Smthn Of Honor when i get married!!! so i dont wanna assume smthn negative abt em yk??#but i just... yknow... feel a lil... blergh#like neglected is kinda too strong but just like.. im kinda annoying??? bothersome maybe??? idk#like if uve seen some of my other tags ive been stressed tf out over cleaning my room bc i had a certain deadline (which was today)#n last night was the worst of my stress but it was the most id done n i shared this w them but another one of em shared some their own stuff#n we all responded to them while i did not get anything n it made me feel a bit ignored đĽ´#n ik i should prob bring this up to them but like i also dont wanna guilt them into feeling likr they HAVE to respond to everything i send!!#bc sometimes i rly Do Be sending just stuff tht doesnt rly require a response like truly#n i get just not rly having anything to say either so mmmmmm idk#def think im overthinking it all n my dumb pms hormones or w/e are making me overreact as a result but i just wanted to vent a bit#get it off my chest. yk how it is#(i also hope this isnt the One Time one of em decides to hop onto tumblr after YEARS of not using it đĽ´đĽ´)#IM the resident tumblrite so itd be quite a coinkydink if one of em hopped on outta nowhere đ#...anyways... yeah thats p much it)#i love em!!! i dont think i could Not Love Em!!! but my brain's just bein rejection-sensitive or smthn#n taking the lack of responses twrd my shit as Rejections ig#is wack#end of vent. thanks if u read all this lol
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My ankle journey
I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.
So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.
Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:
I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.
I went to:
A chiropractor
A podiatrist
A physical therapist
A bodywork coach
They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.
I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.
I went to her a week ago.
She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:
"Oh, it's your soleus."
Excuse me, what?
"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.
She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."
But I HAVE been stretching.
"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."
My mind is spinning.
So here are the muscles in question:
The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.
To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:
The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.
The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.
The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).
I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.
I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.
#massage therapy#soleus muscle#achilles tendon#bodywork#i am so mad i didn't go to her last winter#why did nobody else tell me this#physical therapy
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop đ#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss đ
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max verstappen being the perfect boyfriend: a compilation
summary: max verstappen canât help but talk about his girlfriend whenever he cans, fans make compilation videos about it
folkie radio: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAXIEEE, it's been a minute since the last time i did a compilation blurb and this felt like the perfect occasion to bring them back, i hope you like this!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
Max Verstappen, three time world champion and the best driver of his generation is known for his incredible driving skills and relentless pursuit of victory on the track.
However, behind the wheel, Max has another passion that rivals his love for racing: his girlfriend.
In every interview, press conference, and social media post, Max can't help but gush about her, seamlessly sharing stories of their life together into conversations about lap times and race strategies.
Fans quickly began doing compilation videos about all the times he mentioned his girlfriend publicly, and those gathered millions of views across social media platforms.
The most popular one was called "Max Verstappen being the perfect boyfriend: a compilation," and it began with a video of Max arriving to the paddock for media day, Red Bull's social media team filming him while he answered some rapid fire questions.
"Waffles or Pancakes? You know I used to love pancakes but I think I've had too many because my girlfriend is obsessed with making them," he said as he signed some stuff, "So I would go for Waffles at the moment, but if my girlfriend is watching this I'd say I take her pancakes every day."
The next clip was from a post qualifying interview, and of course, Max earned the pole position, the interviewer had asked him what was expecting for the race the following day.
"To win of course, that's what I'm here for," he said with so hesitation, "But I'm also looking forward to it because my girlfriend will be here, it's the first race she attends this season and I can't wait to see her in the crowd while I take on the podium."
The video moved to show Max with his teammate Sergio Perez, they were playing a game of Green Flag or Red Flag, they were asked about people who film themselves at the gym and Max immediately waved the red flag.
"I actually don't go to the gym anymore," Max added, "I get annoyed by everyone else so I just exercise at home."
"So no topless selfies, not even at home," the interviewer said.
"I don't need to impress anyone, I've got my girlfriend, so," Max shrugged.
The next clip was taken from Max's own Youtube channel, he was showing some of his preparation routine for a race, that included some neck training, checking statistics, quick meetings with his team and engineers among other things.
And of course, his girlfriend made an appearance, standing in a corner watching everything unfold. He approached her, race suit on and helmet in hand, kissed her lips gently as she caressed his arm.
"Be safe out there okay?" her voice could be faintly heard.
"Always schatje, I love you."
In the next segment, Max had just earned his second world championship and was doing a casual interview for a sports channel.
"Do you have your girlfriend now call you 'Two time world champion Max Verstappen' or just Max,"
"Definitely not the first one," Max laughed, "She'd never do that, she says she likes to keep me humble."
"Your girlfriend has a pet name for you?" the guy asked again.
"We call each other a bit different but I prefer not to say that on camera," Max laughed again, "I don't want the internet to make fun of me for being cheesy."
The next clip was from Max's streamings, he was too immersed in a game that he didn't hear his girlfriend come into the room, noticing her presence when she leaned into him.
Out of habit of keeping their privacy, he covered the camera but forgot to turn his mic off.
"Schatje I'm streaming," he said, unaware that everyone could hear him.
"Oh I'm sorry, I was going to ask if you could feed the cats but I'll do it myself," his girlfriend spoke.
"No I'll do it, just let me get off the stream,"
"Baby, there's no need," she insisted.
"I was missing you anyways, just give me a minute."
His audience couldn't see anything but they clearly heard how Max kissed his girlfriend's lips, turning his attention back to the screen, he realized that he was broadcasting their conversation to everyone.
His viewers went wild in the chat, spamming heart emojis and comments about how sweet the couple was. Max ended the stream with a laugh, addressing his fans. "Alright, you heard the boss. I gotta go feed the cats. See you all next time."
On the same note, another clip from a video for RedBull with Checo was included, they had been asked to show the most recent picture in their phones.
"Oh it's from this morning, my girlfriend with the kids," Max said, showing the picture to the camera.
"The kids?" Checo asked with a laugh.
"The cats are our kids," Max shrugged, "Jimmy and Sassy Verstappen."
A particularly touching moment was from a press conference after a difficult race. Max had finished fifth, a rare position for him given his usual dominance. When asked how he dealt with setbacks, he gave a candid response.
"It can be tough, but my girlfriend always knows how to lift my spirits. She's my biggest supporter and always finds the right words to say. Just being with her makes everything better, no matter how bad the race went."
During a clip of Max giving a tour of the Red Bull factory, he stopped at a wall covered in race-winning memorabilia. Among the trophies and champagne bottles, there was a small, framed photograph.
"This is special to me," Max pointed it out, "It's from my first win with Red Bull. But look closer..."
The camera zoomed in to show a young woman in the background of the photo, cheering in the pit lane.
"That's my girlfriend," Max said softly. "She was there for my first win, and she's been there for every one since - even if she can't always be at the track. The team knew how much that meant to me, so they made sure she was in this photo when they framed it."
In the next segment, Max was asked about his favorite off-track activity.
"I love cooking," Max grinned, "Well, more like watching my girlfriend cook. She's amazing in the kitchen, and I'm just there to taste-test everything."
The compilation included a moment during a press conference, Max addressed a question about his girlfriend facing criticism online. The question arose after she received negative comments following a public appearance with him.
"Look, it's tough sometimes," Max began, his expression turning serious. "She didn't choose this life, but she supports me through everything. It's not fair for her to get hate just because of who she's dating. If you have a problem with me that's fine but don't go after my family or my girlfriend because that is just unacceptable."
The final clip that wrapped the video us was from the FIA Prize Giving ceremony, Max received his trophy for winning the 2023 championship.
In his acceptance speech, he thanked his team, his family, and, of course, his girlfriend.
"Winning races and championships is amazing, but having someone by your side who believes in you and supports you unconditionally is truly special. To my girlfriend, thank you for being my rock and my biggest cheerleader. I love you."
The screen faded to black, showing a text that read: Max Verstappen, three time world champion and the perfect boyfriend.
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