#just going nuts about them again

[rainintheevening]

Thing is... Peter knows the price of Edmund's life.

Lucy tells him one night, when she comes padding into his room, and curls up in the bed with him, because she can't sleep, and needs cuddles. It's only a month or two into their reign, but for whatever reason, she tells Peter the whole story of what happened that night at the Stone Table, and in the morning, and 'why'.

Peter stares into the flickering candle flame beside the bed.

"It should have been me," he says. "He's my brother, I should have thought of that, why did I not think of that? I should have told her to take me instead."

Lucy doesn't know what to say. Finally she says simply, "I'm glad it was Aslan."

It nags at Peter, until at last he confesses to Edmund how he feels he failed his brother then.

"I would have, if I'd thought of it, I swear. I would die for you. You know that right?"

And Edmund goes quite pale, and grips Peter's arms very hard, struggles for words.

"It had to be Aslan, I do believe," he says at last. "And I think... I would have hated myself for the rest of my life if you had done it. I couldn't have borne that."

And Peter's sense of guilt fades, but still he has to make sure. "But you know I would, I will if it's needed. You know I'd die for you, because I love you, you know that, right?"

It's one of those rare times when Edmund hugs Peter first, because he does know.

They don't really speak about it again.

But Peter never forgets. His brother's life was paid for by Aslan’s death. The One who sang Narnia into existence considered Edmund worth His own blood.

And it was Aslan’s gift ordained for Lucy that restored Edmund to Peter's arms on the battlefield.

Edmund is a blood-bought gift from Aslan, worth more than any sword or shield, and Peter swears he will never take that for granted again.

By and large, he succeeds.

[raiiny-bay]

some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished

[the-heron]

congrats 2 henry peglar for being the only bitch confirmed as to be Fucking That Old Man

[haleigh-sloth]

I'm still not convinced of a true DarkSagi spiral situation, however--

IF it must happen, do we actually think he'll go insane on his own? Because I can tell you right now, if Isagi is going downward so is RIn baby

They both are still constantly trying to best each other and it really hasn't been an issue for seeping into Isagi's behavior OFF the field (like it has Rin's, he said he dedicated all his time to preparing to beat Isagi...dude be normal pls), but it could very easily turn into an issue once he and Rin have to play on the same team in the world cup after the NEL is over. It could easily turn into a Kaiser/Isagi situation which, well, we saw how well that went. Tbh it'd be way worse than the Kaiser Isagi situation. Way worse. Because Rin is nuts. Isagi is nuts. Rin makes Isagi more nuts. Isagi makes Rin more nuts.

It won't be a "oh god Isagi is an asshole/robot/machine we gotta snap him out of it" or whatever tf it is y'all are actually worried about, because it'll actually be Rin and Isagi making each other ten times worse and everyone around them being like "what the actual fuck". And it kind of becomes everybody's problem, but mostly Bachira's.

What I don't see is a route where Isagi pulls an Eren Jaeger and just ruins everything for everyone and makes everyone his enemy. Not with Rin right there already ten steps ahead of him. If Isagi is going down and gonna need help so is Rin lol.

[scopophobia-polaris]

The fact I have to boot up totk AGAIN, honest to God yall after I make this one fuckass post it is au only I am not doing zelda discourse no more

[pastafossa]

Me, to friend: don't you hate it when you have those days where your heart is just mad and it beats REALLY hard at random moments, even when you're just sitting there, like not FAST but really hard and it is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE for no reason? Friend: you know that's not normal right??? Me: you mean that doesn't happen to you? Friend: NO, IT DOES NOT. Me: ...please hold. *five minutes later* Me: so I talked to my mother and this might in fact be a highly hereditary genetic issue that both her and my grandma and my great grandma all had, who knew??? Anyway I need to see a doctor and I might need heart medication. Friend: YA THINK?

[thatseadog]

I can't stop thinking about the parallel Jay and Kira have with Lizzie and Ava. This may be a long stretch, but I'm just thinking about the fact that two people that care for each other to some capacity, two people that have a bond, find themselves on opposite sides of a rivalry, and eventually war. Jay is heading directly into a war where Kira is likely to be found, in a huge ambush to a pirate crew with means to kill the captain, just like Lizzie's case. I can only imagine Lizzie fighting and catching a glimpse of Jay and Kira and seeing herself and Ava. That in an event of cruel twisted fate Kira gets killed by the navy as a means to an end and Jay's whole world slows down as she sees her childhood best friend get killed by her family. Lizzie catching everything as it happens, and being the one to hold Jay back and away. Or Jay gets shot trying to protect Lizzie and Lizzie seeing her drop with a horrible sense of deja vu.

[scattered-winter]

made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.

[ishikawayukis]

how hateful and evil do you have to be to literally wish someone would die over a "fanwar" that you started in the first place, and then have the guts to say "but if i wish that i would be the bad guy". yeah man of course you would be what the fuck? how miserable do you have to be to be constantly spreading straight up hate just because someone spoke "ill" about your faves, dedicating your whole life to constantly hunt people down and wish they would hurt themselves because what, a comment they made could be linked to your faves? because of possible critisism? it's just insane to me and i genuinely cannot wrap my head around going these kind of lengths for a fucking celebrity, for anyone really. it's just so fucking heartless and evil and for fucking what, some twisted satisfaction that you made someone as miserable as you are? fucking mind blowing

[cacturne]

1, 3, 6 and 8 for the situationship ask for vulture and morrigan. tell me about them pls (also any other situationship that comes to mind for a different oc i love situationships)

sadly as far as i know i do not have any other situationships (the crowd boos and i run off the stage crying) ANYWAY my bestfriends forever YES! Under the cut because it got long (shocker)

1. What made their relationship a situationship? Do they have their own reasons, or did they reach the same conclusion together?

All of it i think kind of spawned from them being at the right place at the right time together. Both of them forced onto a journey, both of them felt isolated to some degree from the rest of the group and Thedas for their own reasons, and ultimately that (and the whole uh ritual) gave them a unique bond they probably wouldn’t have had if the circumstances were different. They don’t understand each other for a long time, but even so they relate to the others place in the world and thus extend a hand.

The actual situationship doesn’t start until somewhere before Inquisition timeline wise, when they are reunited again after Morrigan fulfills her promise to Vulture. Honestly there was no one event that changed their friendship into something more, they just gradually became more comfortable around one another and started blurring the lines together. Both are aware that they’re now in a new area, but neither would acknowledge it. This is just what friends do, obviously.

Vulture’s reason for keeping it there is a fear of commitment. She never really felt ready for a relationship, even at her own wedding, and this feeling has stuck with her since. Now there’s just general anxiety around the thought, as if something might go wrong the minute she chooses to commit to someone or that she would not be a good partner to them. Combined with her already being happy like this she just does not want to complicate things.

Having a relationship like this is honestly really nice for Vulture, i think she’s personally the most okay of the two with keeping their friendship as is. She isn’t as antsy about possibly wanting to be more as Morrigan.

Morrigan has multiple reasons. The first is that she has to grapple with attraction to a woman (oh fuck!) which she then has to re-grapple with when they reunite years later and she finds out those feelings were not, in fact, a fluke. This reason is dealt with, however what’s not dealt with is that she sees love as a tactic. In her mind, them being friends shows her trust in Vulture, because if they were lovers it meant she had manipulated her into it one way or another. She has very much internalized a lot of the vitriol toward her and thus believes it best for the both of them to keep it like this.

All in all, the reasons may be different but they do reach the same conclusion together: a situationship is better for the both of them because it’s easy, because it doesn’t have the risk of destroying their friendship forever if either makes a wrong move or make them face uncomfortable feelings they fear they’d be forced to face were they to be more than that. They’re just good friends, and this is what good friends do.

3. What is the nature of their relationship? Does it border on romance? Is it closer to friends with benefits? Do they both think of it the same way?

Their situationship definitely borders on romance, it’s basically being friend married by the time Inquisition happens. It’s not like they’re kissing each other, but considering Vulture is being an excellent mother to her child i think friend married is still very much a good descriptor here. They semi-live together when Vulture establishes an abandoned cottage as home base while searching for a cure, with Morrigan visiting often to help out after re-connecting and even staying over when it gets late. Friend married.

While they wouldn’t call it friend married, just friends, i do think they view it the same. Though Vulture sees it much more as an endpoint than Morrigan, who sees it more as limbo.

6. Is their relationship exclusive? Are either of them open to something serious with another, or is this serious to them? If the answers differ, would this possibly create conflict?

They’re exclusive! They’re serious! It’s only a little embarrassing!

Vulture has no interest in romance, this situationship is an outlier that makes her uncertain about this stance but that doesn’t mean she’s suddenly cured. Morrigan is the only person she would see like this, so this is serious to her.

Morrigan isn’t interested in anyone else and only trusts Vulture, so this is serious to her, as much as she hates admitting it to herself.

8. Do they actually enjoy this relationship? Do they pine for something different? Is it unhealthy? Are they satisfied like this? Is this all they know?

Yes, they do enjoy it, but they aren’t really satisfied at the same time. If nothing were to change they would both be okay with that because they are already happy like this. They found a person they could trust wholeheartedly in each other, a lifelong friend, and ultimately that alone is enough for them. And yet there is always that “what if” floating above them, reminding them that they could be more if they just took that step.

Vulture i think would be okay not taking it, because she doesn’t really see her not taking that step as something bad. She’s still happy like this, perhaps not entirely satisfied but that’s not a bad thing. She’s still grateful to have a friend like this in the first place.

Morrigan, due to her reasons for not taking that step being related to much deeper issues, is ultimately less satisfied. She keeps telling herself this is better, and that she wants it like this anyway, but out of the two she is the most plagued by the “what if”. Of course she shoots it down at every opportunity with a variety of reasons, but it keeps coming back anyway. She is happy like this, it’s not like she’s begging for a relationship, but she also pines for more and hates it.

[thatgirlonstage]

Thinks about arms outstretched and has to lie facedown on the ground for nine hours again

[sunshineram]

fern and dieffenbachia :)

[californiaquail]

dug through everything trying to find my little command hooks and poster putty and those seem to have vanished into the ether but what i did wind up doing was digging my impulse purchased pair of snaffle reins out and oiling those with my beautifully scented leather conditioner that they dont make anymore and made myself sad lol

[the-acid-pear]

I hate vagueposting in fandom give me a direct link and a list of reasons why I'd be as upset as you

[lazarus-harp]

I think A LOT about what the survivors do post-season. would nikita try and pretend that nothings happened? would mat watch the videos the dead made to humanize those who had to die for him to survive?

you're the survivor connoisseur, what do you think?

for one, i'm very flattered to be seen as the 'survivor connoisseur'! so thank you immensely for the kind words. and secondly, oh boy, this question couldn't of come at a better time ... considering how much post canon mat & nikita have been pingponging around my head! i'll try to be as coherent as possible, but if a lot of this is pure word vomit then i do apologize. it is merely the passion taking over haha.

nikita is someone who fascinates me greatly in the aftermath, because there's a level of realism within her that's lacking in mat. but it's cynicism mixed with denial! she doesn't believe they can bring everyone back i don't think, or at least that's what she tells herself over and over again. a mantra. a safety net. she is so scared to hope and she's even more scared of what might come after that ; there's a sense of shame inherent in her when faced with colleen's bitter coldness. unlike mat, she is all too aware of her horrible actions and what might follow. an awful nightmare of, even if i saved them, would they forgive me? would they want me around? would things be the same? and nikita knows the answer, or at least thinks she does. so much of her post everlock is trapped inside this in-between, which naturally makes her come off as wishy washy and contradictory. a perfect fit for her bizarre behavior in s4. she's willing to go through with the rescue mission because her desire aligns with mat's, yet she staunchly refuses to wallow in grief. she accepts people have died ( in her memorial to manny and roi, via the tear tattoos ) and has made progress in finding a life outside the death games, via bretman. she nurses her new best friend close and yet mostly keeps him separate from everything everlock has touched and tarnished. i like to imagine bretman is her secret and crutch for moving forward, into a future that won't ever have manny again. he acts almost like a replacement in her heart. makes that loss hurt a little less. and i also think matthew can tell that's what it's about, naturally causing some resentment on his end ... because to him, manny can't be replaced. nobody can. it's why we have to do this, nikita! in lots of ways, he views her more 'healthy' behavior as her giving up on this, on them, and he loathes it.

but, obviously, nikita's behavior isnt healthy and mat ( in typical him fashion, where it concerns her ) is completely misreading her actions. nikita isn't acting callously, she's just scared. it's not about forgetting or pretending, it's a matter of selfish safety she's more hellbent on having than ever before. putting her heart out there only for it to be crushed beneath the grim world she now knows they're apart of? putting hope out there, indulging in wishful thinking and fantasy, just for those dreams to be taken from her, again? it's staggering losses she's nervous to take, and she's already made this mistake with manny ; believing he could live despite the odds, trusting in a faulty system, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel that would have them stepping out into the morning together ... but she was wrong. manny surviving all those challenges, even ones he shouldn't have, was nothing more than being lucky. a fluke, if she could be that cruel and discredit his skills so easily. in the end, he was still ripped away, in a way so horrible, nikita might secretly wish he would've just died beforehand. hope and optimism are soiled for her, reality is all that's left. you see this no nonsense attitude from her a lot in s3 to begin with! she's keenly aware of their time limit and keeps their group moving onward, sparing little theatrics on the dead bodies of innocents paving their way. vocally acknowledges that whoever was chosen to be brought back could arrive pissed and vengeful, openly calling attention to the fact it's likely for vendettas to breed when the game they're playing isn't blameless. really, the troublemaker is more calculated and clever than most fans give her credit for, in my opinion. these are traits normally passed over to mat instead, despite his intense emotions getting the best of him multiple times in the show! he is prone to listen to his heart and his grievances, weaponizing grudges when he deems it fitting while nikita is forced to swallow them, and really let them go because emotions hinder her determination and path forward. it's no different here ... except isn't it? just a little bit? nikita falters under her own desires for things to be as they were and she can't fully fight the need to see manny again, or to save the day when she feels responsible for so much pain that night.

though this goes against some core traits of hers and i think that's where the struggle really lies. i want to see manny, but what if he hates me? would i rather live in a world where he can hate me or would i rather stay in one where he'll never get that chance? very selfish of her, i suppose, to potentially value those things over an entire human life, but it's so realistic and human i can't help but sympathize. especially when she sets aside everything she thinks anyway! the troublemaker goes into purgatory knowing it might fail, and that if it does, it's going to reopen every wound she's haphazardly stuck bandaids over. she knows bretman might see her for who she truly is, a liar and a killer and a betrayer and someone who can't love another enough, and forces him to come because fine, it's the end isn't it? and most importantly nikita goes in thinking she could be turned on and hated and this is exactly the reality she faces with colleen, leaving her frustrated, and angry, and turning her shame into vitriol just like before. post s4, with bretman pissed at her, mat broken, joey gone, and everything destroyed again ... nikita then has little else to do ( in her mind ) except to move on for good this time. here might come the pretending act : shrugging off devastating losses and a world full of horror, settling into strange contentment after everything. a false calm, but one she'd wear perfectly nonetheless. would probably quit the society and go back to mundane things, like shopping sprees and creation. live a quiet life. everlock, purgatory, and the year between nothing more than the teardrops on her face and a man she still can't rid herself of. she can't look colleen or bretman in the eye. little things carry over into her manicured life : a refusal to wear pink despite forever adorning blonde hair, never holding the cool steel of a gun in two hands, doesn't say “i love you,” anymore, and plenty of other burdens. but she tries to ignore these signs as much as possible.

still, nikita seems healthy when compared to mat! at least there's a level of acceptance from her, at least she no longer holds the dead. maybe she's too keen on shoving them away now -- but maybe it's a better alternative, when paired with the detective's obsession with them? so much of mat post s3 or even post s4 to me is about his love and desperation outweighing logic, reality, and whatever else stands in his way. stubborn in all the wrong ways for all the wrong reasons. he is a character who needs to be loved and he found a group ( as imperfect as it was ) who adored him so much they wouldn't even let him stay dead. it's a turning point he can't go back from, because now mat owes these people everything. it doesn't matter to him that, really, only safiya and joey brought him back ... because when he stumbled through that door, everyone was so happy. they smiled and grabbed at him and it's probably the most welcome he's ever felt! it's a warmth he won't ever feel again but is chasing. so unlike nikita he can't play into denial. he can't move on or confront what'll happen if he fails. he can't fail, not again, because mat has to save somebody and he has to make the pain worth it. he was killed by the strongman? well, at least it wasn't manny, at least it wasn't permanent, at least mat came back to nothing but love and affection, and how could he ever trade that for anything? all his friends died because of a game they were forced to play? well, mat's out of everlock, he's free, he doesn't need to play by invisible rules anymore and he can bring everyone back and they can be together, and then the suffering will pale in comparison to the reunion awaiting them, right? it's scary for him to consider death and what it means : being forgotten, having everything you've done amount to nothing, laying in the dark of some terrible night all alone, permeant. so he does whatever he can to rebel against these fears that he believes are universal, but are merely his own. he'll get his hands on everything his group was in ( pictures, videos, articles, ) and he'll religiously consume them to remember. he'll think of them always, as ghosts in the corner of his eye, and will never do a single action without thinking about them in some way, to make them still amount to something beyond the veil. he'll heroically save them from a permanent slumber, like they did for him, so they can lay in the sun or in the comfort of a shared room and they can be permanently alive, at least for now. it's loving and it's devotional and it shows how deeply matthew cares and how big his heart is, but it's selfish too.

mat is preventing himself from pain this way, necessary pain. he's stalling the grieving process by entertaining a world in which they'll all be saved and will be able to move on together. he's leaving his wounds open and prodding at them so they won't ever close because finding a life outside of this is horrifying for him. and reasonably so! he died, and now he's just back? he's supposed to ... what, exist? be his old self? what's the protocol for revival? is he allowed to mourn someone he still is, or is he meant to pretend it's a life continued rather than a brand new one? scary ideas, scary theories, not a single guiding hand in sight. clinging to everlock and who he was then is safe, it's who he is now. except, is it? or is that the identity he's carved for himself because facing this world with brand new eyes makes him want to die? how can he move on from the very place he died in? it doesn't seem fair! or ... right. it's unnatural and mat is confused and he's floundering. clinging is all he can think to do. this also shuts him off from forming new connections or rekindling with old ones and that's safe too, not having to look at someone and think about if they'd survive the vote. if they could make it to the end with him, if it ever happened again. it also doesn't help that mat just has a chronic 'i'm a good guy!' problem and if he can undo everything he won't have to confront the fact he's not as perfect as he thought he was. like, while nikita is scared of hope and what it might do to her, mat is scared to look in the mirror and acknowledge he'd do anything to survive. that he's callous and cruel, that he's someone who would save his own skin rather than sacrifice himself for another. that's not who he is -- was? identity is a huge part of his conflict here!

it's a big bag of worms! there's many complexities at play, butting heads with their new natures and desires ... with each other too, clearly. mat obsessively drowns in the past and only works towards his ideal future ( i don't even think s4's failure would deter him ) and everything else just falls in-between. nikita lives life normally for once and maybe tentatively branches out to find new friends again, just because it's a sign she's making progress and it's something that'll show mat that moving on is possible, thanks. ways of dealing that take them down different roads eventually but they'll never let each other go so there's that new constant at least! and they're both actively hiding all the while, whether they know it or not. tragic!

anyway, i know this is ungodly long and ramble-y but i do hope it somewhat answered your question! i know i mostly talked about their mindsets and inner workings rather than what they specifically do in the aftermath, but! i think you can infer a lot based on their mindsets here. like, oh mat would rather start a scrapbook full of dead people's photos he's lovingly collected versus ... taking up journaling. nikita would rather follow an online course on cooking just because she's bored as fuck versus ... reaching out to the society so she can train with swords again. that kinda thing <3

[cleverpaws]

one of these days i will drop an essay abt how there's actually no objectively correct characterization of any gen1 characters because they are, when in their most un-filtered state, supposed to be the streamers that play them, and to assume we know basically anything about who those people are is to miss the point of the social experiments entirely. and none of you are ready