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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out ofĀ (hopefully)Ā Original Ideas - Pt. 6
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5]
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr textpost#hsr memes#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail meme#boothill#hsr boothill#argenti#hsr argenti#sunday#hsr sunday#aventurine#hsr aventurine#black swan#hsr black swan#argenhill#boothill x argenti#i love their 'guns n' roses' ship name a whole lot but im not trying to unintentionally put this in the actual band's tag lmao#i dont have a good concise title for this one its just like. 50% Boothill and 50% my other fav hsr men. thats it thats the theme#also. dont fuckign come at me like 'but the 6th one isn't accurate! he wasn't born in a test tube!!' listen. i know.#he was found abandoned in the snow or smthn idk i haven't dug into his lore leaks yet but i Know. the first half isnt all that accurate#but the overall vibes of it are funny enough to me that i had to make it anyways. let's all just learn to suspend our disbelief a bit#for the sake of laughs. also also. hopefully it goes w/o saying but if something ever lacks a source it's bc i found it like that#i always leave the op's handles even if they dont fit the characters but sometimes the posts i find have already had them cropped out#which irks me bc i Try to be a stickler for giving credit. but anyways. enough overthinking the making of these silly memes#also. some of these are prob a bit more accurate only if you've seen some of Boothill's voiceline and message leaks but eh its fine
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my only excuse for this one is that I needed a better ao3 profile picture
#and is there a better pfp then merwaine kissing?#I tell you: there isn't#(btw if anyone likes it you can use it too#just give me credits and it's all good :)#also: i made two other versions with a green and a blue background if anyone wants other options#just ask me and ill give it to you :)#my art#merwaine#merlin#gwaine#bbc merlin#merlin art#the adventures of merlin#merlin bbc#sir gwaine#bbc gwaine
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I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.
In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.
But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.
The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:
The actual perpetrator.
We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.
And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.
Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.
For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.
It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:
But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.
He died afraid.
If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.
Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.
The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.
#danganronpa#dr analysis#komaedology#komaeda#.txt#sorry @ non komaedaheads for making it about komaeda again LMAO#that was not the intention initially he's just... a really good exploration of this#and i think about his expressions in that comic vs his corpse and what we retroactively knew he was dealing with a lot#btw don't send spoilers to falter please!! i'm @ing to credit them- this was a discussion not solely my ideas- but they are not done yet#and aren't reading this post until they're caught up for obvious reasons#this came from discussing ch2 since the incomplete picture people voted with nearly killed them#(btw don't @ me about komaeda's description in the second-last paragraph being an oversimplification; i know :p )#(he has nuance- especially outside of the killing game- but i'm just focusing on the thematically relevant broad strokes here)#(eg. i feel like he demonstrates empathy sometimes but kodaka has said that lack of ability to empathise/be empathised with#is a theme for him- and the ways he's been proactive in the killing game consistently lacked regard for others' feelings/individuality#reducing them to interchangeable Ultimates(TM) instead. it's partly why he self-destructed while everyone else#was able to forgive themself and keep moving forwards imo. your worth being defined rigidly by objective contributions to society#does not mesh well with the idea of rehabilitating people who've destroyed the world before they could even start to improve it#and even if he did give them a chance at surviving he still succumbed to his own ideology in the end#killed himself for 'hope' and to be 'important' like he 'wanted' but died terrified and in pain and alone instead of fulfilled#man i wish 2.5's ending/postnwp canon in general dug into that ;-; )#ANYWAY ty for reading all that. i feel like i rambled a lot in this one. i have a headache now ghdkjsfgdsf
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Fantober day 31!! A free day again.
Recently gotten into HADES, and I think about them a normal amount (lie)
#THEM. THEM. *SHAKES HANDS IN AIR* THEEEEEEEMMM#Honestly itās surprising I havent gotten into the fandom sooner I mean I have been a mythology nerd since??? Uhhh#idk. But every week I see a notif from OSP and jump around in my room because YEAAAHHHH HYSTORY MYTHOS AND TROPES YEAHHHHH#And greek mythology is where the interest began so why am I only NOW getting onto the Hades train only god knows. Maybe multiple. They got#a whole pantheon so idk maybe multiple ON THE OTHER HAND they didnāt know about their own relative OR who his mom is so maybe I give them#too much credit#jkjk jk Zeus dont smite me I listen to āāThunder bringerāā a lot plz#speaking of epic the musical thats what I wanted to draw originality because HAVE YOU BEEN ON THE LIVESTREAM YESTERDAY?#THE ANIMATICSSSS THE ANIMATICCCSSS THE 3D CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD. ODYSSEUS CASUALLY GETTING A JETPACK š okay go off king /gen#HE GOTTA BE DANGEROUS MY FRIENDS GOTTA USE ALL HIS TRICKS IN HIS DOMAIN FOR THIS OH YEAH YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH PLAYING- okay Iāll stop#but we need a Hermes saga Im just saying. I love he. Heās such a dawling#ā¦Also not me healing the ivantill trauma with a different silverhair+blackhair duo huh.#They bring me comfort I love my silly goofy god of nothing/blood and his boyfriend THE GRIM REAPER#my art#thanzag#they make me insane but in a good way#oh to be a guy trying to escape his dads house and then die to a butterfly and hopefully see death himself because heās cute#hades game#hades fanart#hades zagreus#hades thanatos
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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I work hard on my icons is the thing, and I know other creators do as well, they're small edits but they're still edits
It's finding the perfect screen shot, its lighting and coloring and even more!
then we put them nicely onto a rebloggable post, give people different color options and shapes, throw in lil graphics to give it a certain flair
All. For. Fucking. Free.
the least you can do is like the post you take your icon from, the best thing you can do is reblog them
I stopped making icons for months because my posts would get like 13 notes (most of them likes) and yet I'd see the icon be used by more than 13 people - NONE OF WHICH LIKED OR REBLOGGED THE POSTS
I've even seen people take my icons (again who didn't like or reblog the original post) and edit them and use them for something else WITHOUT MY PERMISSION or give me credit
its exhausting, please support the content creators on this website
#kayla.txt#the funny thing is when a good fucking chunk of fandom uses your icons and they have so little notes like jfc#I TAKE FUCKING REQUESTS#i know Im slow at them and I dont get to all of them but its right there#Im not askimg for credit I just want a reblog#ppl who give credit are the real ones though I love you š„°#not necessary but makes me feel good#ive been doing this for years for free#I know when ppl steal my icons#i have a style I have a technique#the pngs I create are good ones#I literally paint the character in a mask and zoom in to make sure I get every hair and fold in the clothes#its not easy sometimes#AND LIGHTING ICONS JFC#just idk#we all pick our icons its something everyone sees on their dash everytime they go on tumblr#just give icon makers and banner makers and just all content creators more respect is what im saying#rant over
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mika fs2 i love you. why are you so annoying to draw. iām so tired
#my art#mika kagehira#please for the love of god donāt look at the jacket too hard. look at the pants the pants are really good the face is really cute i did goo#just not the jacket i was so fucking tired at that point man i barely did shit for the hands too im SO TIRED#enstars fanart#i did the pants entirely on one layer too ok give me credit for this. i had to use multiple layers bc i didnt wanna mess up too bad#and it was horrible i hate using so many layers but the pants were all one with the body face and shirt#be give me credit for that at least. IM SO FUCKING TIREDDDD
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now i aint ever had no one on the enemy team call me out.... lol ...... abysmal they say this right as the mvp screen pops up too.....
#marvel rivals#snap chats#the line of Thank You in the chat PLEASe ... my bad for always thanking my supports erjALKAJ#just got the mag skin so its only reasonable i focus on getting my wanda hours up JRLKJAJi i need that lord icon ....#tbh getting mvp as wanda isnt hard considering you get credit for Breathing on an enemy but we take them regardless#stats not even that crazy tbh like i avg 25-30 elims as wanda durin my good games... like surprising i didnt die more i guess but jvLEKJLAK#i think at this point ive got a healthy grasp on how to use wanda. very fun lady :) i love her very much#even with her ult im. at least good at Not Dying when using it vjLKJKLAJ when playin an FPS Not Dying is the best you can do#stats dont mean too much to me tbh like yeah they can be an indication to how much value someones MAYBE giving#but they never give the full story .... ive had games where all our stats were Less Than Ideal but we won by just playin objective..#do you know. how many people Dont play objective. jesus christ it drives me mad#i get pushing ahead if its payload but at least be NEARBY so help me lord#anyway whats funny is that i considered recording my matches today right before i went into this one#lol. lmao even. prob my best wanda game i fear .... not gonna get better than this jVLKEKLAJ#ok bye bye im gonna go finish a thing i sketched last night then ima work
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#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere šššššš#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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do u write ficsā¦ and where could a poor heynhay fan find themā¦
do I have a secret ao3 yes but have I taken every step to keep it confidential from my awesome cool online identity also yes.
#also I havenāt posted anything in like half a year#I should crank smthn out writing is good for the creative musclesā¦.#Iāve seen one or two mutuals of mine give kudos on a fic and im likeā¦ā¦ do they know#ask#OH! but you could read my fic I wrote for the vld travel zine. that oneās public. just uhhh scroll way down on my blog#itās here somewhere#well all my fics are public but this oneās publicly credited to me
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every day i wish that Rats SMP was a cartoon bc it would make the greatest show ever i think
#I've been watching Arietty and the Rescuers a lot lately;;;;;;;;;;;#i just think it would make the cutest fucking cartoon with the funniest plotlines#it would be so perfect#with the ensemble cast you can swap out characters as much as you need/want to#the different animals breaking into the house later in the series would make a fucking BANGER season 2#(like can you fucking imagine. season 2 pilot. theres a BADGER IN THE HOUSE NOW?)#they've even got a halloween special AND christmas special episode it's PERFECT#the whole first season could cover the rats getting used to the house and getting settled in#maybe the season 1 finale is the mum and others coming home#I would absolutely fucking want Owen to be played by David Tennant bc his tenth doctor voice gives me rat owen vibes#rats smp cartoon would be so so so good#cannot fucking WAIT for Rats In Paris#i have a whole scene in my head of like. that episode where Jimmy gets locked in a room all night and is miserable abt it š#where he's trapped in the room with the son and the boy is just chasing him around the room for hours#set to the song A Haunted House! from the totoro soundtrack#trying to catch jimmy in a little bug net#there's also this whole wild chase scene in my head with one of the cats chasing Owen Martyn and Scott and the janitor gets involved as well#set to Cat Chase from the Suzume soundtrack#i actually have a whole spotify playlist titled Rats SMP But As A Wholesome Kids Cartoon it has so many ghibli movie songs#(willing to share if anyone is curious i love sharing playlists)#i fucking LOVE imagining Hey Let's Go from the totoro opening credits as a Mitchiri-Neko style marching rats credits sequence#with each verse more characters join the march until all the animal guests and humans are there too#Do the Impossible from Chicory would make such a fucking cute anime style opening showing little clips of all the chaos of the house#i love this idea so goddamn much i fucking wish i could animate ;-;#i would infodump about this idea for hours if i had infinite tag space but alas. maximum of 30
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š« chancellor lapin cadbury š
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bulb above i think about this chocolate rabbit WAY TOO MUCH!!!
he's no riz gukgak or barry syx but there is just. something about him. he's so cool and interesting. as a random youtube comment i saw said, "zac oyama plays low intelligent/himbo characters as a blessing for brennan" and it SHOWS with lapin, it really does.
so yeah here's a fun little sketch of him! i think it turned out very silly :]
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reblogs > likes but any interaction is greatly appreciated :D! tysm for seeing my art regardless :]
#aloe.art#art#digital art#digital sketch#dimension 20#d20#a crown of candy#acoc#d20 acoc#dimension 20 a crown of candy#lapin cadbury#like even the sequence of events he set up with lord and lady swirlie and holding the wine to blind primogem alfredi#that was scary how smart that was#like my friend (who had only seen fantasy high so far before this) just looked at me and went āoh he's like Scary scaryā#YEAH!!!! mf is super smart!!!#and good at deception!!!!#and of course we have to talk about one of the best acoc moments ever#āwhere is your bulb nowā are you kidding me#are you joking me for real????!!!!#one of my fave lapin and fave acoc moments ever#i will sometimes just whisper āAPOSTATE!ā to myself because i have to give brennan credit for that too#played keradin super well all throughout the season#i wish we got even more lapin. i really do.#love that guy#im so normal about this guy#100
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To ME, The Iliad and The Odyssey are about the different reactions to trauma and "hate".
The Iliad is about how a man gets destroyed by hatred. Achilles is "destroyed" metaphorically because his hatred and grief caused him to lose his "humanity". Hector is killed by a man filled with so much hatred (Achilles). Both men are "gone".
The Odyssey, being what happens directly after, is about how a man can come BACK from such hatred. Menelaus and Nestor, while still in pain from the war (the time, friends, and family they lost), are still able to move forward and live normal lives. We watch this happen in real time through Odysseus.
Odysseus' name means to hate and be hated, something he's been probably doing since he left Ithaca to a degree. You could even see the slaughter of the suitors as being the "final fight" he has to go through before the "healing". He gains back his humanity, kingdom, and identity by loving and being loved. (Niko's post about Odysseus and his identity. It delves further into all that well!)
Some people are lost to war and some people CAN come back from it. While the ancients (of every culture as well!) didn't have the semi-universal term PTSD yet, they knew damn well people who have experienced trauma tend to be "different" afterward and had their own stories and even some "remedies"
Other ancient works, such as those by Hippocrates, describe soldiers who experienced frightening battle dreams. (Source, whole article gives more info on ancient PTSD too!)
Celsus, a Roman doctor described a condition named Insania sine fibre.
In Ancient Mesopotamia, āThey described hearing and seeing ghosts talking to them, who would be the ghosts of people theyād killed in battle ā and thatās exactly the experience of modern-day soldiers whoāve been involved in close hand-to-hand combat.ā (Source)
This is my own interpretation, but in a way, I think the Epic Cycle is...showcasing that. The Iliad shows how trauma can "end" a person. And The Odyssey is kind of a way to give some hope to folks in a "Hey, you CAN get better. You CAN have your life back."
#I have not really edited this and looked it over as much as I should have but meh!#also if someone else has already thought and talked about this. I can give credit and/or delete it!#I have a lot of feelings on this. as I love history. Psychology. and literature and the Iliad/Odyssey to ME is all 3#I could just interpret it this way since...ya knowšso I could be talking absolute nonsense but I wanted to know what others think!#I think it's why I love the Odyssey and Odysseus so much. There's always hope to heal. There's always hope in getting better!#good analysis' use sources when they canš¤ even though this is extremely casual and for the homies on tumblr lol#odyssey#odysseus#hector of troy#tagamemnon#greek mythology#iliad#achilles#psychology#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#essay
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no āŗļø it just carries over to her. and Iām like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz itās her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and Iām just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. Iām actually sick Iām actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly āŗļø perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and Iām just like. she doesnāt have a job she still hasnāt paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars Iām fucking owed#and itās like does this actually affect anything? no. I didnāt budget with that money cuz I didnāt actively have it and thatās not smart but#likeā¦. 900 dollarsā¦.. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also itās just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and thatās again if she somehow doesnāt get#her ass evicted cuz sheās not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didnāt check that cuz she technically already lived there Iām just so. Iām so tired and Iām so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? Iām done.#Iām so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and thatās that. itāll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I canāt do it anymore man Iām sick of it Iām sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and itās not even about the money atp#but Iām just. Iām so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and Iām tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and itās safer that way and Iāll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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"They found each other in the wreckage of optimism, and it took them a decade to decide that hope was not enough to save the Golden Branch from itself. It was in a library, not an armoury, where the Apostolosian became the sword and shield ofĀ Integrity, a Divine whoād lost its Candidate. Some climb into their Divines, others deploy them across the battlefield, or fight under the blanket of their shadows. But Integrity demands intimacy. It digs into the flesh of the willing, all metal and promises and penetralia, desperate to create an unbreakable unity. It is afraid, and wounded, and it cannot know the power it gives without seeing it first in the reflection of a Candidate's eyes: the loft, the velocity, the violence. And for the first time in centuries, Integrity doesnāt fear its Candidate. It moves with confidence, in muscle and ambition. It believes inĀ Sokrates Nikon Artemisios." (COUNTER/Weight 22: A Broken Branch)
Great episode to get to after recent palisade happenings. I obviously remember the "Integrity demands intimacy" but there's so much other great stuff here.... "They found each other in the wreckage of optimism" is just incredible.
Edit: Noting the wording of " [...] the Apostolosian became the sword and shield ofĀ Integrity" because Integrity literally is both those things - they are the armor Sokrates wears and the weapon they wield - but it positions them here both as a protector of Integrity and someone Integrity acts through (divines & candidates!).
And I love that this gives Integrity pre-Sokrates interiority I had honestly completely forgotten about. "For the first time in centuries, Integrity doesn't fear it's candidate" A divine afraid(!) of what it can do together with it's candidate, the power it gives. And then what Austin describes in pal29 comes to mind, which is like, "if there was a time when Integrity was like, you know, 'Finally someone has come to help me get out of this situation.' That is not what's happening here." It's interesting because that phrasing of if not the current but a past state("that time has come and gone ")... it still sounds like fear a little bit. And that obviously isn't the case anymore (I don't feel like typing out this Austin quote but he said something about the notion of immortality & change that made me real happy. I love that shit) & I'm curious to learn more about this hopefully.
I love Integrity & while I don't think of it as "the good one", it's fate is important to me because is still one of the sickest divines (which is really saying a lot with like, Perennial and Motion et al. around).
#Integrity is in the description for todays ep & I'm not sure if that's because they're just mentioned like hey btw. or actually relevant#But I shall find out. After I finish this faction game that is#counterweightposting#Palisadeposting#Palisade spoilers#I couldn't fit it in up there but more than everything else 'It is afraid and wounded' made me think of pal29. Likeeee#Also I was like Austin come on give people some credit when he said that bit abt integrity fans going but that's the good one#But 1) likely something he's actually seen? and 2) I can't lie I would like it to be on MBs side. This is my wouldn't that be sick? part.#But ultimately I want whatever happens to to be interesting. And there's things that aren't interesting to me and some of those -#- even fall under 'on MBs side' so like. WELL I'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.#I could elaborate on what's not interesting to me but it's a little. What if I jinx it. (not real) (I'm being extremely silly)#Those tags could've been it's own post tbh but I don't want to type it all out again.
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some person on twitter liked, followed and went through the trouble of making a whole ass custom header using my art without even asking me LMAOOOO ššš
#like...if you were gonna do the effort to do all this the least you coulda done was repost as well like js /hj#idm really tho I just think this is funny#but still a headsup woulda been nice y'know? i woulda said yes regardless#well...at least they gave credit for my art in their little bio so that's good ig lol#but yeah idm when ppl use my art like this or for other stuff so you guys can do shit like this as long as you tell me first (i'm nosy)#hell I'll even dm you the whole picture but with the transparent bg or the certain layers or w/e if that's what you need#but as long as you give credit somewhere that's all I really want in return :]
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