#just florida cats all of them

[finnesse]

post game cats | FLA @ TBL (December 22, 2024)

like a pile of ants, lining up for food (the food is the exchange of high fives and headpats from their goalie). very cutesy action going on

[ratatatastic]

no. no i really wasnt joking that if you were tired of the we are the champions song you probably shouldnt watch the clips of the cats at e11even. thats. all. they're. playing.

ANWAYS WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS PLAY IT A THIRD TIME DJ BLAST IT BABEY

6.27.24 (x)

[whatever-dude]

no because i am so obsessed with the brothers tkachuk being a bigger narrative than mattdrai. like. if i think about it too long im going to go crazy

[backtochicago]

[crowcryptid]

Heading to Minnesota in 2 weeks to scout it out cause I might be moving there

[altoskh]

i hate you videos of “cute adorable innocent doggy/deer/etc saved from evil cruel mean snake” sooooooo so bad i hate you people who say they care about animals and then say they kill all snakes/x scary species on sight i hate you people with a complete and total misunderstanding of how life works. I hate you overwhelming mammal and anti-predator biases

[shyfoxsky]

Theriotype List

So, to start out, for context, I think we've all seen a skeptic comment about how all therians are only "cool" animals. I personally have always enjoyed keeping up with those with "rarer" theriotypes and even using them as examples when these kinds of arguments are brought up, so I've decided to do a little bit of a personal project, that being creating a huge list of the wide variety within the therian community. Below is the list I've created so far, sorted by general species, then adding in subspecies/breeds, all in alphabetical order.

Please keep in mind and understand that for now, I am only putting Earthen animals on this list, mainly so I and the post can keep up, because there's a LOT here already and I know there are hundreds more out there. Maybe in the future I'll make another list with mythical/fictional/etc. kintypes, or someone else can do that for me, you have my full permission, just let me know, but for now, just Earthen animals.

This list does, of course, need more entries though. If you have a theriotype that you don't see on this list, please comment or reblog and let me know so I can add it! You can follow and find it with the tag "foxskys theriotype list".

Adder - European Agouti Alpaca Ankylosaurus Anteater Argentavis Armadillo - Three-banded Badger - American - European - Honey - Japanese - Sunda Stink Bat - Evening - Flying Fox - Vampire Bear - Black - Brown - Polar Bee - Bumble - Honey Beetle - Dor - Stag Bison - American Bonobo Butterfly - Buckeye Caracal Cat, Domestic - Bombay - Himalayan - Japanese Bobtail - Lykoi - Maine Coon - Oriental - Ragdoll - Shorthair - Turkish Van Centipede - Amazonian Giant Cheetah Chickadee Chimpanzee Chipmunk - Eastern Coatimundi - White-nosed Cockroach Coyote Coywolf Crocodile - Nile - Saltwater - Siamese Crow - American - Hooded Damselfly - Blue-tailed Deer - Axis - Caribou - Hog - Red - White-tailed Dog, Domestic - Alaskan Malamute - Australian Shepherd - Belgian Malinois - Bernese Mountain - Blue Bay Shepherd - Border Collie - Borzoi - Carpathian Shepherd - Doberman - German Shepherd - Golden Retriever - Husky - Irish Wolfhound - Karst Shepherd - Nova Scotia Duck-tolling Retriever - Saluki - Sighthound - Silken Windhound - Wolfdog - Yorkie Dolphin - Amazon River - Common Donkey Dove Duck - Mallard Elk - Irish Eusmlius Fish - Arowana - Barbel - Betta - Bristlenose Pleco - Carp - Hag - Koi - Pike - Salmon - Zander Fly - Blue Bottle Fox - Arctic - Bat-eared - Corsac - Crab-eating - Gray - Red, American - Red, European - Swift Goat Gorilla Grackle Guinea Pig Hamster Hare Hawk - Red-tailed Hawk-Eagle - Changeable - Wallace's Hedgehog Homotherium Hornbill Hornet - European Horse - Akhal-Teke - Clydesdale - Drum - Mustang Hyena - Aardwolf - Brown - Spotted - Striped Ichthyovenator Iguana Isopod Jackal - Black-Backed Jaguar Jay - Blue - Florida Scrub Jellyfish - Moon - White Spotted Jerboa Kangaroo Katydid Kestrel - Eurasian Ladybug Lemur - Black-and-white Ruffed - Red-bellied - Red-ruffed Leopard - African - Snow Lion - African - American - Mountain Lynx - Bobcat - Canadian - European - Iberian Macaw - Blue-and-Yellow - Hyacinth - Scarlet - Spix’s Magpie Marten - American Pine - European Pine - Japanese - Yellow-throated Millipede - Crested Mink - American - Sea Monkey - Capuchin Moth - Common Domestic Silk - Gold - Luna - Rosy Maple - Satin Mouse - Harvest Muskrat Octopus - Mimic Opossum Orangutan Osprey Otter - Giant - River - Sea Owl - Barn - Burrowing - Snowy - Tawny Panda - Giant - Red Pangolin - Black-bellied Parpsauropholus Peacock/fowl Pigeon Plateosaurus Possum Pterosaur Pufferfish Rabbit - Lionhead - Lop-Eared Raccoon Raven - Common Ray - Sting Sable Scorpion Sea Lion Sea Slug Seal - Harbor Serval Shark - Chain Catshark - Nurse - Oceanic Blacktip - Sicklefern Lemon Sheep - Bighorn - Domestic - Hebridean - Mouflon Skink - Blue-tailed Snake Sparrow - Common House Spider - Black Widow Spinosaurus Squid Squirrel - Eastern Fox - Gray - Red Stoat Tamarin - Golden Lion Terrorbird Tiger - Bengal - Siberian - Sumatran Toucan Vulture - Bearded - Black - Turkey Wasp Whale - Killer - Minke - Pilot - Right Wolf - Alaskan - Arctic - Coastal - Eastern - European - Gray - Himalayan - Labrador - Mackenzie River - Maned - Mexican - Northern Rocky Mountain - Northwestern - Red - Tundra Wolfdog Wolverine Zebra - Grevey's - Mountain - Plains

[ravioliage]

In several banters Lucanis mentions that the Crows/Houses are by no means a monolith, or even like eachother. Lucanis doesn't even consider the Crows to be an organization due to the amount of killing eachother.

Which to me makes all the hashtag vialguard critical posts about it just completely useless.

A House can exist which buys children from brothels. A House can exist where they are rich and relatively civilized and keep it only in the family. A House can exist where Viago De Riva recruits by rescuing a plastic-eating feral cat from a drain pipe.

It doesn't make it a retcon, or an overhaul of the lore, or the game getting waterboarded with disinfectant. We just get introduced to a different Houses and perspectives.

It would be completely insane if all of the Houses followed the same list of children torturing commandments and ways of operating. Them all being varied makes the world feel more engaging.

It's like hearing your friend rant about Florida, then visiting Seattle and angrily complaining on Twitter that your friend lied to you about the USA. No chat, god didn't retcon parts of the USA. You're just in a different state.

[artdcnaldson]

Cat i may be going crazy but f2f by sza is so reader who dated Art and they broke up so she fucks Patrick to feel closer to him are you seeing my vision here

🪞

I’m literally seeing the vision so clearly…. You know it’s serious when I add a gif or a picture…. So….

Sighhhh… thinking….. maybe you were just an affair for Art. Kind of prodigy AU in the sense that you’re a tennis player who clearly idolizes him and starts an affair with him, but you get a little too obvious in interviews. You talk about how great and wonderful Art is and how he’s improved your game so much and you’re so grateful for his mentorship and all this gushy shit. It would be sweet if you could shut your mouth. It would be sweet if you weren’t clearly in love with a married man.

Like oh it’s so obvious. You look at him with these wide fuck-me eyes and cling to his side at events… so it’s not a surprise that he has to brush you off. Tashi’s going to figure it out (as if she hasn’t figured it out already), so you need to split so his marriage isn’t ruined. The marriage that he complained to you about every single time you got together and fucked. That marriage that he apparently cares so much about now.

You’re at a 250 in Florida when you meet Patrick. Well, you actively seek him out, really. You swipe left on every man on tinder until you find him. You look at his profile, littered with some bullshit about not wanting anything serious and having a huge dick. Whatever. You swipe. You instantly match.

You know Patrick. Know of Patrick. Not just from his remarkably atrocious reputation, but from Art too. He might have just been using you as his own personal fuck toy, but you were good listener too. You retained all of that angst and longing and hatred for his former doubles partner, you remembered.

Patrick knows you. Knows of you. He knows that pathetic little voice as you coo into a microphone about how lovely Art Donaldson is, how he’s a legend, how you’re his biggest fan and you’re oh, so lucky to experience his skill in person. And he also knows how just last week, when someone brought Art up in an interview, you shut it down fast, you pivoted in this beautiful, media trained way that he had to admire.

He knows why you’re across from him at a low lit bar. It smells like cigarettes and the floor is sticky. Your shoes are too expensive to wear in a place like this, but he’s glad you wore them. They’ll look really nice dangling over his shoulders. He doesn’t feel bad for jumping to that conclusion, not when your conversation had been so blunt.

Patrick: Do you want drinks first or do you want to come straight to my hotel?

You: Drinks. We’ll see if we make it to your hotel.

“Your boyfriend broke up with you, huh?” He says as you sit at the bar beside him, looking far too pretty with your manicured nails picking at a bar that’s been carved into by pocketknives and broken glass.

You make a face, annoyed, hurt— big puppy dog eyes that make Patrick think that make he should fuck you on all fours so he doesn’t have to see that pining expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You order a cosmo, and you talk about tennis… for a little while.

But it’s not long before his hands start wandering, and when he touches you, you think about the videos of them celebrating big tournament wins as teenagers— jumping and grabbing at each other, so close they could have kissed. It’s like Art’s touching you when he touches you, in a way.

And you don’t make it back to his hotel. You barely make it to the car before he’s pinning you to the scratched paint job, slipping his big, warm hand between your thighs so he can cup your cunt. You melt into it, relish in it. His hands are calloused, a bit like Art’s were, only Art’s were softer, better cared for.

Maybe Art will find out. He wouldn’t Like it. He’d call you a crazy fucking bitch for fucking someone like Patrick, just to get back at him. Well, it’s not revenge if he’ll never know.

It’s just Patrick, with his big hands groping your ass, and his hot mouth on your tits. It’s the feeling of crumbs digging into your skin when he gets you on your back, and you have to throw a half-drunk Gatorade bottle onto the floor to get comfortable. He peels off your panties with his teeth but doesn’t bother to go down on you.

The first time you fucked Art had been in the big backseat of his Jeep. God, he’d even planned for it, because he had a blanket for you to lay on top of. Parked in the corner of the tennis club where you were practicing. Cramped into the backseat, and he still made a point to eat your pussy until you were slick with spit and cum and begging for him to fuck you properly.

You do end up with your legs on Patrick’s shoulders, with your heels dangling precariously from your toes as he rocks your body (and the axels of his car) with rough, punishing thrusts. Folded in half in the backseat, he fucks you like he knows that you’re using him. Might as well return the favor. There’s no kissing, no sweet nothings whispered. He doesn’t even rub your clit to get you there. That’s your job.

He does take the time to be a grade-A asshole, though. “You’re so tight,” mumbled into your ear. “Can’t believe Art fucked you. You feel like a virgin.”

And, well, if the mention of Art gets you off, if you cum with nothing more that the feel of Patrick’s cock bullying into your cunt and the whisper of your ex-lovers name in your ear. Well, that’s not leaving the dirty backseat of Patrick’s CR-V.

[simp-ly-writes]

OH, BABY!

─────── · · A Smosh FanFic

Pairing: Boyfriend!Spencer Agnew x gn!Partner!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: Smosh Baby #2! The sequel nobody knew they wanted or needed that finds you walking around the office with a robotic baby and leads to you and Spencer realizing that getting another cat was the best choice for now.

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, established relationship, no mentions of pregnancy only wanting to have kids later, children, light swearing, domestic fluff, fluff, suggestive themes, attempt at humour.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | WORDCOUNT: 2,000~

─ · · A/N: This was so fucking cute and wholesome to write, thank you so much @itgirlcat for the wonderful idea. So much love your way! 🫶

─────── · ·

"You're kidding me," was all you could think to say while deadpanning towards the camera that a crew member held closely to your face. Their ominous laughter ran down your spine as all the blood drained from your face, 'I am NOT ready to be a parent.'

And next thing you knew you were being lead into a dark room, a singular bassinet laid there in wait as you took steady steps towards it. To your surprise, Tommy jumped out from seemingly nowhere as you screamed and ducked down behind the bassinet.

"Throwing your own kid in the line of fire... and I thought we couldn't get a worse parent than Angela-" Tommy began to say, spinning around the bassinet for you to see a small robotic baby staring back at you.

"Hey, I was a good fucking parent, and we all know that!" Angela yelled from across the room as the house lights came back on and you were unsure of where one bit ended and another started.

"So let me get this straight, you want me to... watch over this baby for the WHOLE day? I have work, and responsibilities-" you began to ramble, somewhat dreading the day ahead as the robotic cries started to drown your senses.

Tommy picked up the baby, giving it a kiss o the head before shoving it in your arms and showing you how it worked as you quietly nodded along. Now taking a closer look to what the infant was wearing: a small Smosh games hoodie seemingly custom made with a little pair of jeans and leather boots to match.

"OMG ITS SPENER!" you yelled out in excitement, all worry and your ability to listen to the instructions going outside the window as you placed the baby on your hip and walked straight to Spencers desk to show him apparently his new son.

─────── · ·

Turning past the kitchen/break room and into the office spaces, you walked along the faux-glass walls before reaching your boyfriend Spencers shared space with Damien and Shayne, the later two no where to be seen as Spencer sat hunched over his desk. Infamous can of Kickstart within reach and a framed picture of the two of you just to the side of it.

You remember that picture fondly when you accompanied him and his family on vacation back to Florida, touring where he went to school and grew up brought a smile back to your face. Especially the baby photos what were all across his parents' home walls, you look down to baby Spencer, silently asking them if they are ready themselves- not truly expecting an answer you clear your throat and watch as he fixes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and turns around.

"Hey! How're..." Spencers sentence slowly falls off as he takes in the little person within your arms with a raised brow. Shock is raised in his eyebrows, a certain softness in his gaze as he moves to stand, greeting the robot in your arms with a soft whisper. "And who is this little guy, lookin' very handsome."

"Mhmm, I guess so..." you sass back- Spencer can only scoff in return. You try to hold in a laugh as you pass over the baby into his arms, taking in the sight with a tilt of your head and matching his earlier tone, "This is Spener, my... baby..." you are unsure of how to properly address the situation and by the sour expression of unsureness on your face has Spencer laughing wholeheartedly.

"I can't believe you cheated on me," he fakes a sob, holding the baby closer to his chest as you wrap an arm around him. "You know I could physically never, Spencer. I mean we both are still virgins!" you state towards the camera with a wink that Spencer joins and in that moment Shayne and Damien appear back from their break.

"Spener and Spener!" Damien greets with a wide smile, pulling you away from Spencers side with a hug before sitting down at his desk and Shayne does the same, not even batting an eyelash to the scene before doing a double take.

"What the fuck you guys?" Shayne states in disbelief, now at a full stand one more, only to let a sigh out in relief as he takes a step closer. "Oh, we are doing another one of these videos? Do you think you are going to be a better mom than Angela-"

"I heard that!" Angela yells from seemingly no where yet appears right behind you, wagging her finger in Shaynes space as Amanda steps out from behind her. "I hate these babies," Amanda states, looking disgustedly at the robotic creature as it gets passed around the friend circle before ending up in her arms.

Its robotic screeches happen once more as everyones gazes snap towards you and the keys swirling around in your hand. It takes you a moment to realize why everyone is staring at you before you take the baby out of Amandas arms and towards the couch behind Spencers desk and take a seat.

Pulling up the back of baby Spencers hoodie you insert one of the keys into its back, praying for it to be the right guess upon first try- it was not. Pulling it back out, irritation growing over the deafening cries as you can hear multiple people moving around their offices. Ians just behind you all, God I hope I don't get fired for this. You joke to yourself before the cries stop once more, apparently it needed a diaper change.

─────── · ·

Over the next few hours, you bring the baby into every meeting both in person and across zoom. Into the bathroom as you had to turn the face away from you, feeling utmost awkward with your fake child. And even on videos and live streams, your favourite of which was trying to make bits with it... them- in Try Not To Laugh.

Lets just say its easier said than done getting the right costume to put with a baby carrier strapped across your front. The TikTok you filmed for the main channel was doing increasingly well as comments flooded in, loving to see you with baby Spenner walking around the office and how everyone also worked with baby Spencer.

─────── · ·

Your day continues outside of the office as you and Spencer sign yourselves out of the office and decide to make a home video on your phones cameras. Taking the baby to the grocery store as you look over the various baby foods, baby Spener sitting in the cart as the actual Spencer rests his hand across your hip or the small of your back, walking with you and the cart through isles while picking up things you both actually need for your apartment.

"Babe do we need more eggs or did we grab those last week?" Spencer asks from down the isle as you look over the snack selection, now bouncing baby Spener in your arms. "No, we have some left still," you call back before pointing at the various colours and designs for the two of you.

Spencer smiles warmly, crouching down beside you both as he takes a photo and pulls some chips from the isle, placing them in the cart. "Park next?"

"I like the sound of that." And to the park the three of you go, some part of you did feel like a bad parent, holding the baby in your lap while going onto the main roads without a baby seat in the back. Yet you remind yourselves this is just for the video, not an actual baby, its just a robot.

While at the park, you take a short video of Spencer and... Spener going down the slide together. You push them lightly in the baby swing and go on the sea-saw together before taking a walk on the beach to end the day. Watching the sun set over the water you turn to look at Spencer to see him already looking down at you.

"You know... I don't think I would mind this being our future. Not anything soon... but I really like the idea of this later," Spencer comments, looking for your reaction before matching your smile as you lean to put your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around your waist. "How about another cat for now?" You tease yet a part of you is being very serious in that moment, feeling as Spencer stills before rubbing small circles into your side with his thumb.

"What would we name them?" Spencer asks, looking down at the robotic baby in your lap that is now in nap mode... or more likely out of batteries as you both forgot to return to the office.

"Well... I do like the name Spenner-"

"Oh fuck off," Spencer whisper-shouts, yet you can hear the smile in his words as he shuffles to look at the side of your face.

"Okay, but how about Spoons or like Crash... Bandit?"

"Cyclops? Dee?-"

"-Last name twenty?"

"Read my mind babe."

─────── · ·

When you both return to the office the next day, everyone looks anxiously at the baby as you hold it up like Simba and announce. "It is out of batteries, we win these!!!" you cheer as the office claps and joins you. Courtney running over to give you a hug as Tommy takes the child finally from your hands.

"Ready to see how you did?" Tommy asks in a teasing tone, already leading you away from the group as everyone gets ready to start work for the day. The cameras are already set up in the set you started this experiment in, now literally seeing it in a new light as the crew had placed lamps around the room and a small carpet on the floor to create a more homely atmosphere.

"Did I kill it?" you question as Tommy stares at the back lights of the infant with speculation before putting back down its hoodie and placing them gently back in the bassinet. "(name)..." Tommy starts as you can already hear the dramatic sound effects being added in post-production.

"Tommy..." you tease back, leaning more closely in as he too does the same, your noses almost touching before you both pull back with a laugh. "Well, I can officially say that you did NOT in fact kill the baby, and you did better than Angela, congrats! But the bar was already on the floor-"

"I. Am. NOT. A. Bad. Parent. You take those words back Tommy!" Angela shouts once again, turning up in the most unknown of places and all you can do is laugh, loving this bit of the video before doing your outro to the camera.

"Thank you all for getting through this video, if you see a new fuzzy child on either me or Spencers instagrams in the near future... you now knew why," you laugh a bit before continuing. "So please like, subscribe, share this to all your friends and family to show them how much of a better parent you could probably be than me!"

And the camera fades to black.

─────── · ·

🔔 Smosh Pit just posted! watch now?

─────── · ·

Another Smosh Baby?!

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] 👍 67k | 👎 8.36M subscribers 300k views 1 week ago it's official... click to read more

1,110 Comments

username01 (name) and spencer are couple goals. like did anyone elses heart hurt during that montage. i would sell my literal soul to have that at least once in my life, even if just for an hour or two...

↳ username88 woah okay my dude, do you want to talk about it because damn? ↳ username01 god i was really in my feels when i wrote that shit lol...

username20 Those "Angela not being a good mom" bits throughout the video were so funny. It was like something out of a horror film mixed with looney tunes logic XD

username14 24:01 That montage was giving me the UP movie scene and I was not ready to cry like that on my lunch break 😭 ughhh why must they be so perfect with one another

username54 Anyone else wondering where Tommy keeps getting all these kids from? LMAO /positive

username70 OMG (name) and Spencers new cat is so cute!!!!!

↳ username88 OMG OMG OMG, what did they end of naming she/him/them??? ↳ username70 They ended up adopting a stray, she is called Dee! (last name twenty)! ↳ username88 so cute! i am so happy for them 😭🫶 ↳ username70 me too, me too. 😭

username19 (names) change up from the start of the video is so visually poetic, the arts department and editing bay were both COOKING on this one. Chefs Kiss! 😘

username30 15:24 yeah sure... you both are virgins mhmmm.

username45 when (name) and Spencers wedding happens its going to be a civic holiday, i'm telling you this now. we all are not readddyyyy for itttt

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: I wrote this surprisingly quickly- hope you all enjoyed, let me know what you want more of or if you'd like to see something different! 😄

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2

[slutforfictionalwomen]

Together

Kinktober day 24

Rhea Ripley x Fem Reader

Main kinks: Anal play, daddy kink.

Word count: 1,3K

Summary: It's the perfect autumn day in Florida with a pretty high temperature, perfect day for a swim, or maybe a nice bang....

Warnings: Smut, butt plug, strap on, coming without attention to clit, cunnilingus, doggy style, slight dom/sub dynamic.

(Please tell me if I forgot anything.)

"And your winner is Rhea Ripley!" Rhea looks around the crowd posing, showing them who she is. You're standing at the front row, watching your girlfriend's win, cheering the loudest of all. The champion takes a moment to look at you sending you a wink. You hear the girls next to you going wild, thinking it was for them. Only you know the truth.

You like being her secret. Only a small group of people knows about your relationship, so it's hidden for the public. Then there are other things only the two of you know. How you scream 'daddy' when her fingers are deep inside you, but also how she cleans you up after.

Rhea's opponent is getting up. The woman really had something to survive. They both leave the ring, and you make your way through the people with your secret backstage pass, on your way to see the woman who stole your heart.

~

"There is my pretty girl, come here." Rhea is taking off her makeup in her locker room, which is empty except for the two of you. You make your way over to your woman. You got together when you were eightteen, and she was twenty-three. It's a bit of an age gap, but not that bad. You really love each other.

Rhea pats her lap, so you straddle her. Your lips meet with hers. There's a tint of salty sweat, but you don't care at all. Her big hands run over your waist and hips, the crop top you're wearing gives easy access to your skin. You groan a bit into her mouth, your hands in her short, messy black hair.

Just when the situation starts to escalate, the wrestler breaks away from the kiss. You sigh and pout in frustration. After seeing that vigorous match, you needed her hands on you everywhere. Reminding you that only you could be hers.

Rhea notices your attitude, quickly cutting it off by carefully grabbing your jaw. "Oh baby, I know you want me. Tomorrow, okay? I promise to make it worth the wait. Daddy needs to relax." The way she calls herself daddy will always do it for you, but you obediently get off her lap and sit on the chair next to her to discuss the match whilst she cleans herself up.

~

The water of the outdoor pool is chilly when you jump into it. Rhea always just slides into it casually, but she likes your young naivety as you always jump in it with the water splashing over all. It's the midst of October, but around this time, it's usually between 25°C and 30°C where she lives in Florida. Today, it's a bit warmer, perfect temperature for a swim.

It's beautiful here. Dogs lying by the pool, cat casually walking around, gorgeous girlfriend by your side in the pool. You love living like this, the life you could never have imagined.

You spend some time swimming, talking about yesterday's match, and having fun. You always love to hear Rhea explain how she got to her win or the mistakes she made that ended with her losing.

"I'm done swimming, baby. Want to play a little?" Rhea asks after a while. You always know what it means when she uses those words. Excitement starts bubbling up in your stomach, so you nod heavily. "No, gorgeous. Use your words." She kisses the tip of your nose.

"Yes, daddy." The words come out strong, but you know your voice won't be as capable swen she has her hands on you. Rhea chuckles and gets out of the pool. "Dry yourself up and get on the couch, I'm going to get some toys."

~

"Good girl, waiting for me so patiently. I got some of your favourites, you'll love what I have in mind for you." Rhea puts down a small, silken bag. You have seen this bag often, it's used when your girlfriend is going somewhere and wants to take toys to that place.

You're ripped out of thoughts by her pushing you down from where you sat on the couch. Next up, she grabs your hair and kisses you, pulling a whine from your mouth. The toys are long forgotten, and so are your thoughts. You're acting on need and muscle memory now.

Rhea softly kneads your breast. The easy access through the bikini top has a pull on her. Just when Rhea kisses down your neck, you feel some slick dripping down your thigh. You hope she won't be mad for wetting the couch with your arousal.

"This is what I'm gonna do to you." She grabs the bag and empties it. "I'm going to fuck you from behind with that cute little plug in your ass." You stare at the black rose ended, bigger butt plug on the couch. She knows it is your favourite. The strap is midsized and double-ended, black with a few bumps that will rub nicely against your insides.

"Bikini off and on the couch with your ass up," the black haired wrestler orders. You do as she says, but you know you're going to get some problems with stamina in this position. When you're done, Rhea has inserted the inner end of the strap into herself and tightened the clasps on her waist and legs.

Rhea gets behind you, you hear how she pumps lube on her hand and puts it on the metal butt plug. The puts the remainder on your hole, slowly pushing a finger in. You whine at the familiar feeling, many people don't like it but it's one of your favourite things. She takes her finger out and pushes the cold plug into your ass.

"I won't need lube for the strap, you so soaked, little thing." Rhea reaches over to play with your nipples before pushing the strap into you with a groan. She immediately sets up a nice pace, pulling loud moans out of you.

Your girlfriend has a nice view at the plug in your ass. She presses it a few times to tease, each time you whine from the unexpectedness. Rhea herself is having the best time. The end on the inside of the harness pushes into her with each thrust and the fabric of the harness rubs her clit.

"Do you think you can cum without me rubbing your clit?" Rhea alightly adjusts her position, now thrusting right into your sweet spot. She tries to get the pace up a bit without getting sloppy, still pushing deep into you.

"I think so, daddy," you answer with a weak voice. The woman behind you grabs your ass, fondling it. The feeling sends a shiver down your spine.

Rhea feels how close she is getting. She clings onto the strap so she doesn't ruin her own plans. "We're going to cum together, okay? Are you ready?"

You feel your own orgasm building up. "Yes, daddy," you respond shakily when you're on the edge. Now you're both keeping in your orgasms, waiting for each other.

"Cum." Rhea's voice is strong. She thrusts harder into you, pulling an orgasm from both you and herself. Your moans and whines mix up, so audible you can't hear who they come from. You feel arms hugging you from behind and crash down on the couch.

Rhea gives you both a second to catch breath before pulling out and setting all toys aside to clean up later. She then turns you around to lick all the excess wetness off your pussy. You tremble when her tongue touches your sensitive clit. She takes care of you, as always, licking to the last drop.

"You did so good for me." Together, you stay cuddling on the couch for much longer, dozing off into a peaceful slumber.

[vivwritesfics]

POV: Oscar saves reader

An NNTA AU

Just before she is due to marry Carlos, Oscar takes her away

For this, i'm pretending all the US immigration stuff doesn't exist, like, I know its seriously difficult to get a visa to live and work in the US, but i've ignored that here

Series Masterlist

It was the night before the wedding and Y/N was crying into her pillow

You know how the story goes, what happens when she marries Carlos

And, in a way, she knew it too

She knew what was going to happen to her, the impending tragedy she could feel coming

No amount of consoling from Oscar had any effect

In our original story, Oscar disappears to get some beers and let her have one last fun night

But, in this story, Oscar didn't do that

While she had been sleeping, Oscar was wide awake, putting things in place to get her away from Carlos's house

The hardest part had been getting a car and stashing it outside of the gates

If it was still there when they went to escape, he would have been incredibly surprised

"Pack your bags," said Oscar as he gently pulled her away from the pillow and wiped the tears from beneath her eyes

"Osc," she began, but he threw a bag onto the bed and pulled an already packed one from beneath it

Wordlessly, she got on with it, packing her things into the bag

The bag was tiny, not nearly big enough to pack all of her things

But she did what she could

"What're we doing?"

Oscar took her hand and kissed the back of it

He pulled open her bedroom door, keeping his hand on his gun as she looked up and down the corridor

When he saw nothing, he walked out, Y/N trailing behind him

He went to the stairs, kept his gun pointed down as he looked for any of Carlos's men

They had a clear run to the stairs

Oscar kept a tight hold of Y/N as they ran towards the front door

Outside would be a different story - there would be cameras everywhere and probably some men too

"When we're out there, run like hell," he said and waited for Y/N to nod before he opened the door

They did just like that, ran like hell

The gates weren't the most sophisticated and Oscar easily got them open

He took Y/N's hand and pulled her towards the car that was still stashed away

Within seconds they were driving towards the airport, and nobody even knew they had left

"Where are we going, Osc?" Y/N asked as she leaned her head against the window

Finally, he answered her, "The Sargeants have offered us a place to stay in the United States," he said as they drove on the highway

The flight from Spain to the US was long and Y/N slept through most of it

Oscar didn't, though

He kept his arms wrapped around her, alert and protective

When they touched down in Florida, Logan and two other men in suits were there to greet them

"I'm putting my ass on the line for you, mate," (because I love the way logan says mate) he said as he pulled Oscar in close

Oscar looked at the girl behind him

"She's worth it," he said

The Sargeants had multiple safehouses

That was where Oscar and Y/N found themselves, in one of the Sargeant's safehouses

It was their perfect little haven

It was hard for Y/N not to fall in love with Oscar

If she wasn't already in love with him when she lived in Carlos's house, she certainly was now

The safehouse had one bed (because I love that trope)

At first Oscar refused to sleep in the same bed as her

He took a couple of pillows and slept on the floor

But then Y/N insisted that he sleep in the bed with her

They fell into a domestic sort of bliss, and that was how they got together

They didn't think about it the first time they kissed, laying in the bed they now shared

It had become normal for Oscar to hold her close while they slept, still protective

For a full year, their life was normal

Y/N wanted to get a job, she wanted that sort of normality, so she did

She went by her middle name, calling herself Piastri instead of Norris

That made Oscar wear his polite cat smile

Oscar got a job too, working for the Sargeant family

It was really nice, working with his best friend

They went karting together, taking Oscar back to the days before he began working for Webber, when his Formula One dreams were close to being a reality

After a year of peace, Lando found them

It had been a solo mission, something he hadn't told anybody about

His men didn't know, the man that should have been his brother in law didn't know

Lando made the trip to Florida alone, letting Sargeant know that he was on his way

The Sargeants pulled Y/N and Oscar in

Oscar was immediately protective when Lando walked into the room, but the Brit held his hands up defensively

"Relax, nobody knows I'm here," he said, looking at his sister (who had been pushed behind Oscar)

"I'm proud of you," he said, "both of you"

"Both of us?" Asked Oscar, unable to stop the face he was pulling

Lando nodded his head

"You got my little sister away from a marriage that i never wanted to happen"

Y/N stepped forward. "Why are you here, Lando?"

Truth was that Lando wasn't going to come, not until he found out that she was going by Piastri

That gave a certain idea (that they were together) and Lando couldn't not check it out

He was right, it seemed

The way Oscar was protectively in front of her told Lando everything he needed to know

The way Y/N was holding the back of Oscars white button up shirt told him

"I'm here giving my blessing"

"I don't need it," Y/N replied quickly

"I don't care, you've got it"

Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool @multi-universe21 @formulas-bitch @gills-lounge @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @carlossainzwho @f1lov3r @samaib11 @charli123456789 @queenofmanydreams @ironmaiden1313 @vellicora @glitterf1 @80sloverry @lightdragonrayne @moonayu @bellsalabanccini @topguncultleader @handsupforamiracle @cmleitora @jenniferrvsesi @barcelonaloverf1life @sbella13 @nicolettecallednikki @darleneslane @thehufflepuffavenger1 @champagneproblems17 @aespie @yukheizcigarettes @rewmuslupin @hollie911 @ashy-kit @ririgy @stqrgir1 @zaynzierulez @minkyungseokie @rafaaoli @carolinesainz @ashies-ln4op81aa22 @measimp @mizelophsun11 @eviethetheatrefreak @andydrysdalerogers @chonkybonky @shobaes @celesteblack08 @watermelonworries @gracielukey @cassie0sstuff @goldenharrysworld @venusesworld @sparklyperfectionstranger @evans-dejong @graciewrote @formulaal

[ratatatastic]

"Funny enough I—like, if street hockey, ministicks, I always wanted to be a goalie too! Like, for some reason I always wanted to go in net. You know, probably because of [my Dad] and then, um, you know, once you get dinged a couple times and the shots get too hard you realise—then it's not so much fun after all so... Yeah, it was great he'd always—" "You probably wanted to be goalie 'cuz you're fucking crazy, man! Those guys are bananas! I actually went as a goalie in morning skate one time when I was suspended in the coast, and it was the scariest thing ever, bro. It's nothing like blocking a shot because you're literally just standing there, and these guys are shooting right at you. It's unbelievable!" "Yeah! You gotta get in the way of the stuff to save it! That's crazy! I know, and like obviously gear is like great and they don't really feel—but there is, like, that psychological thing going on where, like, you know, you wanna move out of the way 'cuz it's gonna hurt! I get—I mean, it must not hurt that much, like, 'cuz Bob's crazy, man! Bob loves taking—Well, I wouldn't say loves taking it off the head, but he doesn't hate it, like he—" "Feels good?" "You know, every once in a while—they hit him in the head and you go up and say sorry he's like, 'No, no! It's all good! I love it, I love it!!' and like, kind-of shoos you away so."

The Buzz Pod | 8.7.24 (x)

so speaking of banking pucks off bobbys head and how much he loves it flashback to that day in october of 23 where bobby was doing that for practise and managed to rope in matthew to the shenanigans to the utter confusion of everyone involved (x)(x)(x)(x)

[theaologies]

spinning my chair around and sitting in it backwards: GOOOOOD MORNING CLASS

FIRST AND FOREMOST: this is not a panic post. It’s an informational preparedness post. Don’t panic. Just be prepared for this like you’d be prepared for an earthquake but you know it’s coming and it’s wet.

I’m 30, lived in Central Florida for the first 26 years of my life, and have experienced more hurricanes and tropical storms than you can imagine. Never in my life did I think I would have to discuss HURRICANE SAFETY again after moving to LOS ANGELES from FLORIDA and yet HERE WE ARE-

(This information is accurate as of 8/17 at 9am PST)

SO models are still early but it seems like as of last night, Pacific Hurricane Hilary is rapidly intensified AND has shifted its track pretty severely inland. Originally SoCal was predicted to get some bands off the coast but this does NOT seem to be the case anymore

As our good friend Jim Cantore mentioned above, if Hilary DOES make landfall in SoCal, it will be the first tropical storm to do so since 1939. Fucking yikes.

THE GOOD NEWS:

It isn’t looking like Hilary will make landfall anywhere as a strong hurricane. If it makes landfall in central Baja it looks like it’ll be a Cat 2 which isn’t great but still- better than the Cat 5 it’s currently strengthening to.

As for SoCal, we’re not predicted to get anything over a Tropical Storm. And mountains tear up tropical cyclones like crazy. It’ll (probably) be weak and, wind wise, no worse than the Santa Ana’s

THE BAD NEWS:

Our Cone of Uncertainty is currently pretty wide- this fluctuation matters as it determines which side of the storm hits us. Is this significant? Yes. The right side of a Hurricane is considered the “dirty” side- it’s the side that is most likely to produce severe weather, such as severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. It’s still too early to determine what side will affect us the most but it’s something to keep in mind.

Also, I can’t speak for the rest of SoCal, but I would not bet on the LA infrastructure doing well even with a weak tropical storm. Which is why I have brought you here today, to run down the IMPORTANT HURRICANE CHECKLIST

NOTE: I made this several years ago for FLORIDA so not all of it will be accurate to SoCal. Most of us live in apartments and have no say over tree trimmings and the likes. If the storm is feeling like it’s going to get bad, I would recommend moving important things and electronics away from windows and hanging out in areas of the apartment that have the least amount of windows. I don’t think boarding up windows or anything will be necessary but here’s information if you need/want it

ANOTHER NOTE: if you have the means, please check up on your unhoused neighbors and immediate community groups that do so, as well. As always, they will be the ones most affected by severe weather. Tarps, anything that rises up off the ground, waterproof bags, etc would be good to grab for them. I am not an expert here and would recommend following the lead of your community groups that work with your unhoused neighbors to find out what will be needed most.

I don’t at all think we’ll see any shutdowns so if the rain does get bad be prepared for dangerous driving conditions. I know it’s dangerous to drive any time it rains in LA but, you know. The Weather Channel isn’t predicting a TON of rain at the moment (for LA) but, just like our winter/spring this year, be on the look out for flash floods.

And again, this is all JUST IN CASE. It’s better to be prepared than not. SoCal’s infrastructure is not at all prepared to handle a tropical event so who knows! Anything is possible. If I was in Florida I wouldn’t at all be worrying about this but I’m not anymore and our wet winter absolutely fucked our roads in LA so I’d rather everyone be safe than sorry.

I’m sure it’ll all be fine and now you just have more safety information, which is never bad! Because frankly climate change is very real and I would not be surprised to see this happening more and more in the coming years. And it does have me worrying that El Niño this year is going to be worse than we imagined.

[bootleg-nessie]

Things that will happen in the future (based on my own experiences with time travel):

***FAQs at the end***

*All of these observations are copied directly from my notes in roughly the order I took them in

*Don’t ask about the interchanging use of past/present/future tense, you know how that stuff is with time travel

Women just started all growing three boobs instead of two. Scientists baffled

Genetically engineered catboys (no literally)

The great pyramid of Giza has been converted into a Bass Pro Shop

The entire state of Rhode Island was bought by some rich tech CEO who promptly dug a 500 foot wide trench around the entire state so that it could in fact be an island. It was soon converted into the world’s largest parking lot

Pollution has gotten so bad that fresh oxygen is now delivered straight to most homes via a subscription service

Basic necessities such as food, water, and housing are now provided for free by the government, but only for the top 1% of wealth holders

Insulin now costs twice as much as rent. “Get fucked,” say pharma companies

92.6% of new electronic appliances now have smartphone integration and require a monthly subscription to use

Most billionaires have real estate on earth’s moon

As an ongoing film experiment, Taika Waititi successfully convinced a Nebraska man that he’s been raptured and is now in heaven. He actually got Truman Show’d and now millions of viewers tune in every week to watch God (played by John DiMaggio) manipulate Robert into confronting his own views, battle cognitive dissonance, and face the realization that he might not have been as good of a person on Earth as he thought he was

Carrots have gone extinct, as have highland cows

Species of extinct animals and plants now are being posthumously renamed after the billionaires and elites most directly responsible for killing then off

Researchers discovered a sentient colony of fungus off the coast of Chile, it prefers to go by Fleebo and appears to have a incredibly complex intelligence far greater than any other observed organic being

Nobody knows where Ireland went. It literally just disappeared off the face of the earth one day and nobody bothered to question it. The story couldn’t compete in the news cycle with the recent news about a company in China that made the first real life pokemon. An entire civilization of people gone and I’m the only one who seems to remember it or even care

Fleebo and its offspring have annexed Madagascar and are threatening any retaliation with nuclear warfare and “making The Last of Us a reality.” Nobody knows if Fleebo actually has the capabilities to do this, but after the Lovecraft incident we’re all TOO goddam scared to fuck around and find out

Large snails have replaced cats and dogs as the most common household pet. Snail culture has largely taken over the world, especially Japan

The president of the United States is now decided with an oiled up twerking competition. Most people were hesitant at first but this has produced vastly more competent leaders so now everyone just kinda goes along with it

With the cost of living crisis only worsening with time, selling tattoo space on your body to advertisers has become common as people struggle to afford rent and pay their bills

North and South Korea have reunited into “Korea 2.0”

Germany has split up into East and West Germany again

Belgium and France have been annexed by West Germany and renamed “Wester Germany” and “Westest Germany” respectively

The entirety of Florida is now underwater. Most of Kansas is too for some reason that scientists refuse to explain because they’ve “sworn an oath to the eldritch gods” and that “much worse things would happen” if they did

The melting ice caps in Antarctica unveiled a lost civilization of intelligent creatures descended from a species of lungfish, predating human civilization by millions of years. They planned on hibernating for another 10-15 million years to observe the course of evolution on Earth and are very very angry at humans for waking them up prematurely and ruining all of that with global warming

The politically correct term for lungfish people is “Dipnoid” but most people refer to them by a variety of slurs, such as “finwalker” and “kelp muncher” (not that they even eat kelp)

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch has now increased to nearly half the size of what was formerly known as Canada and has been colonized entirely by pirates (the flag is actually pretty cool). The pirate nation has the 17th largest economy in the world and is projected to surpass the United States in GDP

Africa is about 2% smaller. Nobody knows why. Most people point to Fleebo, who denies having any involvement

All human-Dipnoid interaction was promptly banned by most world governments, except for the GPGPRP (Great Pacific Garbage Patch Republic of Pirates), whom the Dipnoids rely upon extensively for trade

Scientists have used DNA from fossils to recreate other species of humans. We now live alongside them like we did for thousands of years before everyone besides Homo sapiens went extinct. Racism is at an all time high

Class C and above robots are now legally recognized by most progressive countries as people

The United States government has been exposed for secretly funneling billions of dollars into the GPGPRP and using it to fund terrorist operations all over the world.

A new major religion revolving around Dave Grohl has skyrocketed in popularity. Grohilsm is now the world’s largest religion, second only to Fleeboism

Scientists discovered a new continent in the Pacific Ocean, and then promptly lost it again. Most people are convinced this was just an elaborate practical joke, but scientists “swear it definitely happened”

For a brief period of about 30 years, everything in George Orwell’s 1984 happened almost exactly as written in the book. Literally 1984

It was revealed that Jeff Epstein didn’t kill himself. He actually faked his death and spent the next few years in a drug-fueled episode of psychosis making sock puppets in a cave in Italy and then molesting said sock puppets until he died from a sock puppet related illness

Bigfoot was discovered off the coast of Georgia doing cocaine with a congregation of alligators. When questioned, he said he normally lives in Montana and was only there on vacation. He is now a celebrity, and has been featured in a number of tv shows and films, two of which he won an Oscar for. Last I checked, he was a washed up actor living in Hollywood with a reanimated Neanderthal woman

The GPGPRP raided most of England’s museums with the object of “doing exactly what they did for the last few centuries” England was understandably furious, but the rest of the world found it rather amusing

England declared war on the GPGPRP, which it promptly lost after hackers brought down the entire country’s military overnight. Much like in the 21st century, England is the world’s laughing stock

The entirety of Luxembourg relocated itself to the moon

Russia attempted to take over most of Eurasia. In retaliation to the full global effort to stop them, they launched nukes at the world’s 600 most populous cities outside of its current territory. Most of the warheads were stopped in time, but a few major metropolitan areas got hit pretty badly, including Los Angeles, Hong Kong, Chengdu, Mexico City, and Istanbul. Japan was understandably super pissed that Hiroshima and Nagasaki got nuked for a second time

In the wake of the nuclear holocaust, Canada assumed control over what was formerly Russia and assimilated many of its citizens and leaders into its own society and government. Under the new rule of formerly Russian leaders, Canada became a puppet state for the second coming of Russia. It annexed much of the United States, Mongolia, China, and a handful of other countries, becoming “the world’s first megacountry.” Crungolaska now controls a majority of the northern hemisphere

As part of a practical joke by Adam Sandler, Tom Hanks was actually marooned on a desert island like in Castaway. He lasted less than a week before he died. When I left this era of the future, Adam Sandler was serving a lifetime sentence in prison for murder

Fringe groups of crows with above-average intelligence have started popping up around the world. So far they have been observed forming small communities, crafting relatively complex tools, using rudimentary speech, performing rituals, and creating music

Aliens visited earth and had a formal meeting with many of our world leaders, but decided to leave us alone for a few thousand more years because humanity is “not yet mature enough to handle the responsibilities of interstellar travel.” They have incentivized us with a the blueprints for an Alcubierre Drive and a means to produce the exotic matter to fuel it once they deem us as being ready

The original colony of settlers on Mars has declared independence, officially becoming the first country not on Earth

We sent Tom Cruise back to space but this time we just left him there

The tether for the space elevator broke. The town known as Vatorville, famous for being the location of the takeoff point of the elevator shuttle on Earth, was completely decimated as tens of thousands of miles of steel cable came crashing back down. There were no survivors

Most people in first and second world countries have mandatory microchip implants that serve as a personal ID

Last Thursdayism has been largely denounced by quantum physicists. Current theories now revolve around “Next Thursdayism,” the belief that the entire universe was created in the future and that we all exist as a memory in the past

Synthetic organ farms for transplants and research have become a massive industry worth billions of dollars. However, there is still a huge black market for organically grown human organs, as they’re much cheaper to acquire and aren’t taxed at the exorbitant rates that lab-grown organs are

China dug a hole all the way to the center of the Earth. Turns out it’s hollow and there are people living inside. Who knew?

A university reconstructed the entire city of Rome as it was in its early days during the Roman Empire. It’s actually pretty historically accurate, except for the fact that there’s a lot less sex because it’s run by a bunch of sweaty history nerds

After Rome 2 resulted in the creation of a cult revolving around the Roman god of the dead that gained traction as a minor religion, Pluto was officially reinstated as a planet by NASA when cultists picketed their headquarters every day for nearly 3 years straight. “Fine, we’ll give these fucking virgins what they want so they’ll finally shut the hell up,” said NASA’s administrator in chief

In a display of the biotechnical prowess of Disney’s Imagineers, all the animatronics in Disney’s Hall of Presidents were replaced with clones of the originals, which went about exactly as well as you’d expect. After reports of the presidents hurling a series of racial slurs and other obscenities at the first black family to enter surfaced, the project was shut down almost immediately after it had opened. Minority admission to Magic Kingdom plummeted to 2.3% of its numbers from the previous year, making it the second whitest place on earth after a taylor swift concert

Plastic now makes up about 3% of every organism on earth by weight

Public officials are now required by law to take shrooms before running for office

Trees are considered a rare and highly sought after commodity, and are usually only owned by public institutions and the rich (the vast majority of oxygen farms use algae to produce oxygen)

FAQs:

FAQ: What time period(s) did you go to?

A: I have no fucking clue. The world stopped using the Gregorian calendar in 2063 after a gamma ray burst hit the sun. The GRB led to stellar ablation, which changed the length of a year on Earth. The sun would continue to lose mass at an accelerated rate for several more years, with the length of the year changing slightly from year to year. The world adopted a variety of different calendars which kept being updated frequently and were often super confusing and contradictory. I traveled to about a dozen different points in time, which based on my best estimates spanned within a few millennia of the current date.

FAQ: How did you obtain a time machine?

A: I think it was the 17th or 18th of June, 2055? That night, a large sci-fi looking box thingy roughly the size of a VW Bus appeared a few hundred yards away in the open field in front of my house. I tried to take a picture of the box, but for some reason the closer I got, the more the image on my camera started to become fuzzy, and by the time I got close enough to take a decent picture, the camera had stopped working altogether. I pulled open a door to reveal a corpse inside that was charred beyond recognition, who appeared to have suffocated and/or burned to death during a fire that damaged most of the interior. I also noticed a number of strange tumors and growths on the body. I pressed a random button on the remains of what I believed to be a control panel, expecting nothing to happen, but the door closed automatically and I suddenly lost consciousness. When I came to, I exited the box, expecting to still be in the field in front of my house, but instead found myself a ways outside of a small snowy village that based on my best estimates, was somewhere in northern Asia around 2-3 thousand years ago. The villagers started coming after me with spears, so I quickly ran back to the box and pressed another button, hoping it would return me to from whence I came. This time, the people I found (who were thankfully much nicer and spoke a dialect of English that I could mostly understand) told me that it was the year 506 of the PGRB-Δ4 calendar (the calendar that the United Territories was using at the time). I repeated this maybe a dozen more times trying to get home until I landed in 2023, which as far as I could tell, was the closest I had gotten back to my original time so far. It was at this point that I decided to stay and seek medical attention, as I was rather concerned about some nasty new growths on my arms and legs similar to that which I had seen on the corpse.

FAQ: Where is the time machine now?

A: No idea. It disappeared a few days after I landed in 2023. My best guess is that some poor sap found it and ended up sometime else.

(I never ask for likes/reblogs but I literally spent fucking WEEKS on this one so if you liked it pls show me some love <3)

[catbolt]

— FLORIDA KILOS

[SOUNDTRACK] Florida Kilos - Lana Del Rey || ▶︎

Business trips with Sylus are atypical.

[TAGS] sylus x female mc, angsty fluff?, brief smut, canonical sylus but he also sells drugs

[A/N] written very topically in key west cause my vacation would have been sm better with sylus (i need to touch grass)

[WC] 1.2k

songfic 2/?

They touch down in the late afternoon, the sun barreling down over the horizon dramatically like a ball of hellfire, sending ricocheting red tongues of flame out over a turquoise ocean. She feels the ground rumble as the wheels kiss the pavement, Sylus’ strong hand wrapping around her waist to secure her as they roll to a stop. 

They step out into the Florida sunset, deplaning onto his private hangar. His arm remains around her waist the entire while, the only sound other than the whirring plane engines being the clank of his rings against each other as he hoists their bags over his shoulder. They descend onto the tarmac. She looks up at him, his face inscrutable behind a pair of dark sunglasses. 

She doesn’t get Sylus, not really. Every time she thinks she does, he does something so unexpected that she has to rework her entire understanding of him. Like when he takes extended time to pet the stray cat outside the hotel, or makes casual conversation with the bellhop with a broad and genuine smile on his face. A smile that falls immediately the second the door falls shut behind them, and he proceeds to immediately check the entire room for bugs and arm himself with a gun from his luggage. 

Still a business trip, sweetheart, he murmurs softly as he sees her eyes trained on the way he tucks the pistol onto the stomach band holster beneath his t-shirt. Need to make sure I’m keeping you safe.

She knew about the protocores and weapons. What she didn’t fully grasp until now was that when Sylus once told her he had his hands in a lot of pies, he also meant drugs. That was why he'd taken her to Florida. She catches him on tense calls late at night, tapping into security feeds to scrutinize black cars carrying god knows what illicit substances and paraphernalia through back alleys, even rifling through miscellaneous vials and baggies that are shoved into a suitcase he tells her not to open. She ignores it for the most part. She’s learned to push down the moral ambivalence that stirs up whenever she thinks about what Sylus actually does for a living, the mix of guilt and confusion and frustration at her complete inability to reconcile two halves of the man she loves.

When they’re on the beach together, she just pretends they’re just a normal couple on vacation. She relaxes in the warm ocean, feeling Sylus’ eyes on her all the way from their cabana where he sits, preferring the shade. The corner of his mouth quirks into a barely-there smirk as she exits the water, taking in her swimsuit-clad form as he sips on a glass of dark rum. The second she’s close enough, she’s in his arms, his thumbs rubbing circles into the salt still lingering on her skin, his sun-flushed nose nuzzling into the place where her neck meets her jaw. He murmurs unintelligible nothings into her soft skin, more for himself than for her to hear.

He doesn’t tell her details of the business he's here on in an effort to keep work time separate as much as possible, though she can see it weighing on him each time he gets back to the hotel room after one of his “meetings." HIs face always look tired, but quickly softens into a gentler expression when he sees her, and he envelops her in his arms, peppering fluttering kisses over her face and neck. He deftly sidesteps the majority of her work-related questions to ask about her days instead. It’s not because he underestimates her– he’s just unshakably devoted to her protection, and the less she knows, the safer she is.

She doesn’t get him when he insists repeatedly that it’s just a business trip, but makes a continuous and purposeful effort to make sure she’s having a good time, that she’s enriched and well taken care of. The days he’s gone early in the morning, she wakes up to notes on the nightstand: Got you tickets to the museum, if you want to go today. Or I think you should visit the beach while I’m out. I’ve set up a driver to take you at noon. He insists on private charter planes, private drivers, private security, private beaches and excursions for her, ensuring she’s fully surveilled every second she’s out and about while he’s away.

Only when he’s back at the hotel with her does he ease up a bit, dismissing security detail for the night, taking her out on the town holding her hand tightly all the while. He buys her all the mai tais and mojitos she asks for, walking her home with a protective hand on her as she stumbles giggly through the streets, hands toying in the strings of her bikini beneath her cover-up.

When he lays her on the bed, French balcony doors blown open haphazardly by the wind, the sound of the waves battering softly against the shore and the chirp of cicadas are the only sounds other than their breathing. He removes each piece of her clothing slowly, tantalizingly, not with the intention to tease (though that is inevitably the resulting effect) but more because he simply cherishes each millisecond he spends uncovering another sliver of her body, each inch of her he reveals sending a shiver through him like he's discovering a secret. He worships her with slow wet kisses, his hands following close behind everywhere his lips have touched, soothing the skin that blooms purple and red with gentle caresses. He grips her hips softly when he enters her, exhaling a deep and heavy sigh, rocking back and forth achingly slowly with his eyes closed in bliss. He holds her securely in his arms with one hand on the small of her back and the other behind her neck, fingers pressing into her skin, each fingertip of pressure sending hot spears of desire deep into her body.

She doesn’t quite understand the loving things he whispers into her ears in times like this. She doesn’t get where it comes from, the rare, delicate softness in his words so strikingly absent from the way he talks to anyone else— so beautiful for me, my dove, I worship you, my gorgeous girl…

Afterwards, he stands on the balcony, cigarette clamped between his lips as he stares out over the ocean, hair damp from the shower and towel slung low over his hips. He swirls a glass of whisky in his other hand, tendrils of smoke clawing their way into the tepid night air through his teeth. Faint music from the nearby bars mingles with the sound of gentle waves upon the shore, so soft it sounds almost like ripples, like rain.

When he’s in his head like this she knows better than to ask him what he’s thinking. Instead, she just comes up behind him, standing not too close or too far, resting her elbows on the banister. They both watch the starlight freckle the surface of the ocean outside. 

I love you, Sylus mumbles. It’s what he always says when he doesn’t know what else to. The utterance is so quiet it’s nearly drowned out by the sound of the water, but she catches it, just barely.

I love you too.