#just feeling taken for granted again and it's really getting to me... I've started to withdraw again

[zenmai--jikake--no--komoriuta]

having a bad mental health night, was playing FF7 Rebirth and James came over to say it was too loud, and I do agree a bit but he turned it down so low I couldn't hear it very well and it was uncomfortably low in that way where it bugs you and you want to turn it up more and it's like an annoying itch....... I had been having problems where it's too quiet in cutscenes and too loud in combat and I'm constantly turning it up and down and forgetting what it's at but for some reason having someone else turning it down that low set me off and made me not want to play anymore, but he kept trying to fiddle with the sound for me and I kept tearing up because I just wanted to drop it and stop playing because now my stupid brain was getting irrationally upset, and now I've gone to bed early but he's started playing Granblue and I'm getting agitated being in the same room and I want to run and leave and go to my car to decompress but it's 11:30pm and it's not safe to do that but he won't go to bed now for at least another hour but I'm agitated hearing him and I don't want to be here stewing with nothing to do but I can't bring myself to play anymore tonight and I can't use my pc because he's right next to it and I'm agitated snd I can't sleep bevause I'm agitated

[kaliforniahigh]

casual - n.s.

Inspired by the song Casual by Chappell Roan. Noah is your friend but not your best friend if you know what I mean.

Warnings: angst, Noah is kind of an ass, sad thoughts, neither one of them know how to express themselves and deal with ~feelings~, curse words.

WC: 1.677

Part 2.

My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch

You were used to the title of "friend". You were friends with the band. You met Nick first, some years ago and he introduced you to everyone else, and after that, where everyone was, you weren't far behind.

You graduated with a degree in photography a couple of years ago, and when the chance of touring with the band and learn from Bryan was presented to you, you couldn't refuse. Who would?

You don't exactly remember when things changed so drastically. Granted, you couldn't call Noah your best friend, but you talked to him everyday, you joked around together and even had a secret sign whenever you were at a party, to tell the other one of you was feeling a little overwhelmed, and was going to step out for a bit.

Looking back at it now, you realized these moments only held significance to you. You thought back to the night everything changed. How he was talking to you so smoothly, how he looked you in the eye and payed attention to every word you were saying, how his hands touched your thighs and finally, how he asked you if you wanted to get out of there and maybe go up to his room.

You also remembered how he asked you to leave not even 15 minutes after you were done, how he laid there scrolling on his phone as you gathered your clothes and put them back on, saying goodbye but not sticking around to hear his response. Pain clawed at your chest, but you pushed it down.

So when it happened again at a house party they were throwing, you left before he had to tell you. You told yourself you could do this, you liked him as a friend and not as something more. Besides, you were having fun and he was good, and by the way he was the one seeking you out everytime, you figured he felt the same.

You just didn't consider the fact that you were totally not the only one he was having sex with. Because right now, you were sat at a table at a bar the boys saw not too far away from the venue they were playing at, deciding that a night of drinking was in the cards to commemorate the sucess of the tour so far. And he was at the bar chatting up a pretty blonde. You wanted to know if he was telling her the same things he told you that first time.

"Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight, huh?" Nick sat down next to you, nodding towards Noah and the pretty blonde.

"Looks like it", you acted nonchalant, if any of the boys knew about this thing going on between the two of you, none of them mentioned anything. "He does this often?", you asked him, fishing for information. You had the priviledge of this being the first tour you were embarking on from beggining to end, so no one really thought anything more of your questions.

"Only when we have a hotel room. Can't really do much on a tour bus, you know?", you hummed in agreement, Nick said he was getting more drinks and excused himself.

Later that night, Noah left early (with the pretty blonde) and you went to bed alone.

I thought you thought of me better Someone you couldn't lose

So you decided to do what you did best: distance yourself from him. Every night, you always showed the boys the pictures you'd taken on your camera. Now you told them you wanted to wait until you edited them. You just didn't want anyone to notice you started taking less and less photos of Noah.

Nights out also became less frequent, but everyone just thought the exhaustion of being on tour was finally catching up to you. You didn't bother giving them any other explanation. You had to remind yourself that you were here working, this was your job and you were not gonna let him distract you from that.

You were currently working on some photographs you took on the previous nights, the chatter on the tour bus filling the space. You saw a can of White Claw appear in your field of vision. You didn't have to look up to see that Noah was handing it to you.

You took it from his hand and thanked him, popping it open.

"Is everything good?", he questioned you. He was used to you asking him to sit down, sometimes he would even observe you working because he found it just so relaxing. This time, you barely aknowledged him, just taking the beverage from his hand and going back to work.

"Yeah, just concentrated, you know?", you said, not diverting your eyes from your screen. He thought it was weird, but if you didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't gonna push you. He observed you for the rest of the night.

You honestly didn't know what you expected. For him to take your hands in his and tell you how concerned he was about your sudden distance? For him to notice you were hurting from the decision you made yourself? How much you didn't want to accept that you were like the other girls he banged on a weekly basis? Deep down you knew there was no way for him to know those things if you didn't communicate with him. But he acted like he already forgot what happened, you didn't want to be the one hung up on something that is never going to evolve.

You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss, I have anger issues

The guys played a festival today. The atmosphere was so different and exciting that it actually took your mind off of things. You met so many other professionals and exchanged so many experiences.

You were talking to Liam backstage as the boys were getting ready to go on stage. You noticed he used a camera different from yours and was excitedly asking him all kinds of information. You were interested in modifying your set up and try other things.

He showed you some pictures he took from earlier in the day and explained to you all the different settings and how he liked to adjust them. You were so distracted that you didn't notice Noah coming up behind you.

"We'll be up in 5 minutes", he told you, startling you quite a bit.

"Ok, I'll take my spot shortly", he nodded, but said nothing else, walking back to the band, the boys going over some last-minute details.

You found it weird, no one ever had to tell you what time you had to do your job, because you know. You decided to exhange numbers with Liam so you could continue this conversation later. You grabbed his phone and started to type your number.

"C'mon, Y/N", you heard Noah again, his behavior starting to piss you off. You signaled for him to wait.

"You're gonna be late, we're going on stage now", he wouldn't leave you alone. You handed Liam's phone back to him and bid him goodbye.

"What the hell are you on my ass about? I know what time I have to do my job, you don't have to remind me", you didn't wait for a response, grabbing your equipment and making your way to side stage.

The interaction put you in a sour mood for the rest of the day and everyone noticed. Your smiley and excited self was now gone, your face serious as you kept your conversation with other people short.

With the festival ending, you made your way to the tour bus, as you waited for the equipment to be loaded so everyone can hit the road again.

Noah was the first one to be back, as he took a seat in front of you. Both of you stayed silent until he decided to speak up.

"Seems like you and Liam were having a pretty good conversation", he noted, not looking at you, picking on a loose strand from his sweatpants.

"Yeah, he was pretty attentive", you responded, not knowing where he wanted to go with this conversation and why Liam was relevant.

"Oh, I bet he was", he let out a low chuckle.

"Yes, he was. Is there anything wrong about a professional conversation?", you crossed your arms in front of you, getting a little bit defensive.

"Professional conversation? Please, tell me you're not this dense", you were in disbelief, catching on to where this conversation was headed. "You honestly didn't notice that this guy is just trying to get in your pants?"

"Please, Noah. Don't compare every man to your shitty self", you scoffed, getting up to leave.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?", he got up after you and you could feel his presence on your back. You turned around to face him.

"Didn't you do just that to get in my pants not too long ago?", your eyes were fierce and held a fire to them.

"Oh, so that is what this is about?"

"I don't know, is it? You're the one who all of a sudden came here telling me who wants to get in my pants", you needed him to enlighten you, because you had sex twice and not even once he came looking for you to talk about it.

"I just thought you wouldn't be so easy", your opened your mouth in shock at his words. Surely this can't be the same person you knew.

"So now you're calling me a whore as well? You weren't complaining about how easy I was when I was sucking you dick"

"That is not what I said", he tried to defend himself.

"Well you might as well have", there was a pause in conversation, but you weren't planning on letting him say anything else. "I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. Just because we fucked twice doesn't mean you have a say in who I can involve myself with. Besides, you're the one who takes girls to your room every week. So please, spare me hypocrisy"

You turned around and left for good now.

Part 2 maybe???

[just-some-user-hunny]

Alucard headcanons...

I loved @shinjisdone writing on this particular character, and I've just started watching Hellsing Ultimate and all the characters are so yummy to analyse, so that's brought me here...

Please go check out @shinjisdone ! they have lots of incredible stuff written up!

✧ He responds so passionately to the sounds of your voice beckoning him by name. Alucard, Alucard?, Alucard!

No matter the tone; tender and gentle, curious and soft, fearful and timid. It makes his dead heart tremble. Fills him with fire. He's a rabid dog, your dog. Integra may hold the leash, hold command over him, but you have something else much more unnatainable and devoting. His love. No matter how twisted and dark it is, it's yours. Yours to burden. So please... Angel... Call for him again, won't you?

✧ There's always a part of him mindful of your whereabouts, the beat of your heart and the rush of blood in your veins, even your breath caught in your throat. He can sense every little tiny detail about you even if he's far far away. It always seems there's another presence in your shadow. It lurks behind you, your shadow dwarfing your actual size. Likes it's not really yours, like something is occupying it...

Even when he's not some lurking entity, and he's standing eerily tall and gaunt in the same room as you, his eyes are often focused on you. He observes you through the tinted coloured glass of his lenses, and if your eyes ever meet his, he smiles. He thinks your skittish curiosity of him is adorable. Endearing. He's found he likes your eyes on him. His are always on you, so would you grant him the pleasure of your reciprocation?

✧ Whenever you find yourself in danger, your shadow grows oppressive and dark. You feel it press into your back, clutching at you like a snarling creature. You're so fortunate to not be able to see the nightmarish visions that lurk right behind you, the jagged teeth and blood red eyes that stare from the abyss. You swear you can hear something growling and snarling, like a wild dog by your feet. The fearful entity pressed against you, pushing and pulling seemingly lulls you. Whatever is frightening you seems nothing like a scattering bug now, ready to be crushed and devoured by your devoted monster.

✧ You may also find that your time will be consumed by his presence. Whenever he is not beckoned to Integra's heel to go maim and kill whoever she desires, he finds himself by yours instead. He desires all of your attention, to be the audience of your mere existence- to engrave every part of you into him, so that he may not ever forget a single detail for when he inevitably keeps living and you are all but beneath the soil and lovingly cradled in soft silk and your favourite flowers. But let's not get ahead of that...

✧ As he becomes burdened with his growing infatuation with you, the more bothersome he'll make himself to you. Sweet soft coos of pet names are used often to refer to you, and he can never get enough of the way you fluster and fidget aimlessly. The rapid beat of your heart is a sweet melody to him, he loves hearing it sing whenever he unabashedly refers to you as his love. His beloved. His dear, his darling, his angel. His possessiveness is not kept quiet, as you can plainly see. There's no bashfulness to him either. No shame, no embarrassment. He will very proudly acclaim you as his beloved, no matter who is there to witness his devotions. He loves the drama, the pride, his own bragging.

✧ He'll always be nearby. By your bedside, watching you sleep. In your shadow, as you creep the dark hallways at night in search of a glass of water. He's in your footsteps, in the flicker of shadows by your candle-lit bedside, always ready to hear your call for him.

The most damning thing you can do is show him any type of love. Either it is meant to be taken in a heartfelt way, if you offer him a word of assurance or kindness, you're done for. Even if you just call for him if you're scared, it sets off this flame within him. One that'll soon turn into an uncontrollable blazing wildfire.

✧ Because now you've gone and done it. You've fed a starving dog, and now he's forever yours. Foolish. Stupid. You don't understand, do you? The weight of this ordeal? For you to refer to him so gently like he was something precious... Like he was something capable of loving... You've started something that you'll never be capable of finishing. So please... Keep giving him your goodness. Your gentleness and softness. He'll lap at it like a man dying of thirst, gulping it down and aching for more. Your voice, your breaths, your hands, your thoughts of him... He'll gulp it all down.

[fettuccin-e]

Angel Incarnate

Kinktober Day 7: Soft and Slow

Tags: Javier Peña x Reader, afab!fem!reader, unprotected piv, slight breeding kink, really really light angst, domesticity, javi is finally happy guys okay (w/c: 1K)

A/N: Alright so this is so fluffy it hardly even feels like a kinktober prompt but y'know what javi has his dick out so it counts okay. anyway i had a really fun time writing this because i love it when sad characters are happy it brings me insurmountable joy (For the month I've been using these prompts from flightlessangelwings!)

Everything around him has always been so violent. His world has always been bloody and bruised and chaotic, and Javier had always supposed that it was just meant to be that way.

He didn’t deserve anything better than the angry pain of Bogatá. He’d hurt too many people, ripped apart too many lives to be redeemed, to deserve any kind of sweetness. His life boiled down to blood and tears, the endless race against the narcos too much to take anything slow. The only sex he had was rough and violent, just like his life, just like his soul.

Getting back to Laredo, to his father’s ranch, had been a kind of culture shock that he didn’t think he could experience anymore. The lack of gunfire, the lack of violence, day in and day out, had him reeling.

He’d tried burying himself in the work, fixing up his childhood home and tending to the cattle and the horses, hardly venturing into town at all. The people who knew Javi, the young man who left Laredo with a bride at the altar for a life as an agent, did not need to know Javier, the broken, hollow, shell of a man. He didn’t need their pity, their looks of confusion mixed with sympathy.

He regrets those first few months now, the ones that he spent hiding from the rest of the world. After all, the first time he went out into town, went into the only little library for miles, he found you.

And you, God, you’re so different. So kind and patient, even when he’s rough with you, even when he tries to push you away. It’s a kind of slow, soft sweetness that sings through his bones, that makes him feel human again. 

You’re slow with him, gentle in a way that he hasn’t been treated in years. He feels precious here, with you, between the soft sheets of your shared bed, as you roll your hips on top of him, taking him slow and so deep inside of you.

He wants to grip your hips so hard they bruise, roll you over and slam into you until you’re sobbing and writhing from the pleasure of it. He wants to press your face into the pillows and fuck you hard into the mattress. 

But he holds back, just like you want him to. Let yourself just feel, Javi, you had told him one day, after he’d taken control from you, just like he wants to right now. We don’t have to rush.

So he doesn’t. He brushes his hands along your waist, relishing in your soft skin as  you drop yourself down on his cock, over and over again. You gasp as he stretches you apart.

“That’s it, baby, so beautiful for me,” Javier murmurs. “That feel good, sweetheart?”

You nod, whining as he guides you down to grind deep into your g-spot. “It’s so- it’s so good, Javi. You feel so big like this.”

Javier groans as you clench around him, tight and wet and fucking perfect. The soft morning light filters through the curtains you put up last week, illuminating your skin and enshrining you like an angel. You are an angel, he thinks, as close to heaven as he’ll ever get.

He leans up, searching for a kiss that you gladly grant him. He loves kissing you, licking into your mouth and tasting you as you moan for him.

You curl your hands into his hair, grown longer with his time away from the DEA. The one time he’d asked you about cutting it, you’d protested so hard he’d laughed for thirty minutes straight. He’d started letting it grow after that.

You lean back up, undulating your hips in a way that has him groaning, pulling on your hips to help you along.

“You want to cum, Javi?” you murmur, pulling him in so fucking deep his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“Por favor, nena, si,” he gasps, and God, you’re the only one that can make him beg like this. To make him desperate like this.

“Come on, honey, fill me up,” you coo, and Javi is lost to it. His hips jerk up of their own accord, pumping into you involuntarily with his orgasm. He spills into you without the fear of knocking you up, knowing that there’s no violence, no uncertainty with you. A small, not-so-secret part of him actually hopes it’ll take.

You whine above him, pushing your hips down on him over and over, frantic for your climax. He reaches a hand between you both and rubs slow, hard circles into your clit, and fuck, the way you cum will always steal the breath from his lungs. Your eyes clench shut, your mouth exhaling a beautiful, melodic little moan as you rock yourself on his cock, working yourself through it.

“That’s it, beautiful, so fucking good to me, so pretty for me,” he husks, and you curl yourself over him, meeting his lips in a sticky-wet kiss that has you both desperate for more. He palms his hands over your back, pulling you down to rest on top of him as you both breathe through the aftershocks of your orgasms.

You both don’t move for a long time, content to bask in each other’s warmth as the morning sun rises, bringing another day to spend together. It’s a kind of peace, a kind of contentment, he’d thought was a pipe dream for so, so long.

“How did I ever find you?” He murmurs into the quiet of the room. You tilt your head up from where it rests on his chest to smile softly at him. He feels like he could drown in your gaze.

“I think we were always meant to find each other,” you whisper, and like always, he knows you’re right.

[captainsophiestark]

Oldies And Goodies

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Bucky's not a fan of modern dating conventions, until Sam sets him up on a date with a good friend who shows him the potential of the modern world.

Word Count: 1,543

Category: Fluff

A/N: To the anon who sent me an idea outline for this, I hope you like it! It got merged with another idea I had, but hopefully, it's still pretty close to what you had in mind :) Thanks for continuing to read stuff for Grant Ward and enabling me to keep writing him- he's my fave, so I'm glad I have at least a few people to share the love with!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

My eyes scanned the restaurant, trying to make out Bucky through the dim lighting. After a moment, I caught sight of him at a table by the window. I smiled and started heading his way. As soon as he noticed me, he shared my smile and stood to greet me. Always the perfect gentleman. My heart skipped a beat, and I made a mental note to make Sam some cookies or something as a thank you.

Sam Wilson, a good friend of mine even before he'd taken up the superhero mantle, had recently introduced me to the second supersoldier out of time that he'd befriended. Bucky Barnes, the reformed Winter Soldier, was a little different than the Man With A Plan Steve Rogers, but he'd been different in a way that I liked. We'd hit it off pretty well, and with a some meddling from Sam, we'd set up a date within a few weeks of first meeting each other.

I'd spent an hour and a half making sure my outfit looked just right and trying to convince my nerves to calm the hell down. It was just a first date, with someone I was already friendly with. And I knew Sam wouldn't steer me wrong. Tonight was going to be fun.

Once I got close enough to the table, Bucky pulled a small bouquet of roses out from behind his back, holding them out to me with a lopsided smile. I gasped, taking them from him with a slightly disbelieving look.

"I've been told the flowers are a little old fashioned, but... it seemed like the right way to go," he said. I gave a little laugh, taking a moment to smell the roses (literally) before beaming back at Bucky.

"I love them," I said. His shoulders seemed to relax a little, the smile spreading to cover the rest of his face as he took a few steps closer to me.

"I'm glad. Here, let me get your chair."

He pulled my chair back from the table, gesturing for me to sit down. I nodded my thanks, trying to ignore the butterflies exploding in my chest as he scooted the chair back in for me like it was nothing. I gently laid the roses down on the table as he took his seat across from me again.

"Thanks for finding this place," I said, scanning the restaurant to take in the ambiance this time, instead of just searching for Bucky. "It's... really nice."

"Yeah, no kidding," he said, huffing a small laugh. "Honestly, I'm... a little out of my depth here. A lot's changed since the last time I asked somebody on a date."

"Well, for what it's worth, you've been doing pretty damn well so far."

We shared a smile, but then a silence settled over us that wasn't entirely comfortable. As much as this night seemed perfect, I couldn't help agreeing with Bucky. This place wasn't totally my scene, and I was starting to feel a little out of my depth, too.

"So..." I said, taking a deep breath and meeting Bucky's eyes again. "What exactly did dates look like back in the 1940s? One of the handful of times I talked to Steve, he said you set up a pretty cool double date to... some kind of expo?"

Bucky's eyes fell to the table even as his mouth pulled up in a smile. He nodded, talking as much to himself as to me.

"Yeah. Despite how it ended, I was always pretty proud of the Stark Expo one. We got to see a car fly long before any of that should've been possible. Walking around, looking at all the exhibits and experiments... honestly, it was incredible." He looked back up at me, the soft smile still in place. "Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of major, groundbreaking expos happening tonight for us to swing by."

"Damn. That would've been fun," I said, gently reaching across the table to take Bucky's hand in my own. I bit my lip, then looked up at him with a smile. "You know, Steve also said you're kind of a nerd."

Bucky snorted. Clearly, that's not what he'd been expecting me to say. He shook his head, but when he looked back at me, he had a smile on his face.

"Steve's got quite a few stories of his own that he should keep in mind when he says things like that."

"Well..." I took a deep breath, hardening my own resolve. Bucky and I were friends, and for whatever reason, this restaurant didn't feel right for either of us. I needed to trust him and our relationship so far, rather than pretending for norms or anybody else's approval. "Look, I don't know about you, but... this restaurant is lovely, but not exactly my usual vibe."

Bucky sighed, shaking his head and pulling his hand out of mine.

"I know, it's not really mine either. I just-"

"Hold on. I have an idea for a solution that might suit us both. And I think it'll be super fun."

Bucky stared at me for a few moments appraisingly, the faintest ghost of a smile appearing on his face.

"You know, I'm not used to letting the other person plan the date. But I guess I can make an exception."

I grinned. "Good. Because I have an idea that didn't exist in the 40s, but is the kind of modern thing I think you'll be able to get behind. You trust me?"

"...Yeah, I do."

"Good." I took Bucky's hand, grabbed my roses, then stood from the table. "Then follow me."

****************

"...and in the original, Gollum volunteered the ring as a prize for Bilbo winning the riddle contest!"

I beamed at my date as he raised out of his chair, the few beers we'd had and his passion for Tolkien pushing him to make his point loudly after being called on for the bonus question of this round of trivia. The host grinned, ringing a bell and pointing at Bucky.

"Aaaaand that's correct! Mark that down as three points for Oldies and Goodies! Hang tight everybody while we update the scoring, and we'll be back with our final round in ten minutes."

With that, the bar dissolved into chatter again as everyone went their separate ways for the break in trivia. Bucky settled back down into his seat with a sigh, then carefully cut his eyes towards me.

"So... was that a dealbreaker for you?"

I laughed. "Are you kidding? You got us three points, all while schooling the rest of the bar on some nerdy shit! It was hot."

Bucky laughed at that, shaking his head even as a smile stayed in place on his face.

"Alright, I've done a lot of complaining to Sam about how much dating's changed since I last did it, but I'll admit... I like this."

I grinned. "I'm glad. And for the record, I like it too. As far as I'm concerned, being able to have fun and kick ass at bar trivia with someone is one of the best green flags there is."

"Well, good. Because that table over there is right behind us in the points, and after they shouted out the worst string of horseshit about the Hobit I've ever heard with complete confidence, there's no way I'm letting us lose to them."

"Hell yeah! I'll go grab us another round, and then we'll make them wish they'd never come to this trivia night."

I jumped down from my seat and started heading past Bucky to the bar, but he caught my arm before I could get very far, his expression more serious than I'd seen it all night.

"Hey. Thanks. For getting a round of beer, for agreeing to come out with me tonight, for bringing us here... it's the best time I've had in a while, and you've been pretty much the entire reason for that. So thank you."

I smiled, my heart speeding up in my chest as I took a half-step closer to Bucky and softly kissed him on the cheek before leaning back.

"You're welcome. Thanks for being willing to try out something as new and chaotic as bar trivia. Maybe we could even make it a weekly thing?"

Bucky beamed back at me. "Sweetheart, I would love that."

"Okay, good. Then start getting ready for the next round, because if we're coming back here next week, I want it to be in defense of our title. This is the beginning of the trivia power couple Oldies and Goodies."

"I like the sound of that," Bucky said, his voice dropping an octave as he leaned into me a little. I smiled, and he pulled me into his side, squeezing me tight before letting me go so I could get us both another round.

My dopey smile stayed on my face even as I got to the bar. I'd always had butterflies in my chest when I was around Bucky, but now, it was more than that. Being around him made me happy. I felt comfortable, and I didn't want the night to end. And luckily for me, he apparently felt the same way.

Destroying our enemies at trivia was just the beginning for us. And with no ending in sight, I truly couldn't wait to see what came next.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

[assexpansion]

You asked me to write a story about a girl falling asleep in a special hot-tub at a spa, so how about I ask you this:

A petite girl who's spending some time at her new private pool in her new home, where something occurs, of course granting her breasts, belly and butt of tremendous proportions? I'll leave the details to you, you're a writing genius after all <3

Off The Deep End (18+/Incest/Hyper)

After 8 years of education, 2 diplomas, and a successfully defended thesis, a well-deserved summer break awaited Ariana at her parents' new home. They welcomed their short but high-achieving daughter with welcome arms and began the tour of the small mansion. Their daughter was enchanted by the luxury abode, especially its pool...

Ariana was feeling burnt-out by the last push of studying, so the family's mansion, where she'd be fed and could relax, was like a dream oasis. Then, she noticed the back of her older step-brother Benji's head under the backyard gazebo. Her dream cracked. Her parents encouraged her to chat and catch up with him, noting that he was in charge of preparing the new pool, before returning inside to cook a 'Welcome Home' dinner for their favorite child.

She approached Benji, who was faced away and on his phone with earbuds in. Typical. He never made any effort to be nice to her. So why should she? While Ariana was off making their family proud, Benji had taken the low road of slacking and wasting away his life. The last thing she wanted to do was make small talk with him. It was bad enough that they were related.

"Hey, gues what? Im back! They really went all out with this place, huh?" Ariana said as friendly as possible.

Her eyes flicked to the small screen her brother was looking at.

"Benji... are you... watching porn?"

The distinct figure of a huge-titted, big-bellied, fat-assed blonde woman struggling to sit up from her seat was there, plain as day. Ariana paused in surprise and disgust as she saw the ridiculously proprotioned pornstar from behind Benji's shoulder. The side of his face was expressionless and slightly slackjawed as he watched. Ariana could hear faint, feminine groans from his earbuds with each lurch of her huge body.

"Umm, what the fuck are you watching?" Ariana snapped. "Benji! Im right behind you!" She cried out, stomping her foot down to get his attention.

But Benji made no sign that he had heard her, immersed in the video. He was totally enamored with the triple-extra-large woman on the screen. She was perfect, he thought. Who needed money or school when a clear purpose in life; to serve, worship, and feed a happy, fattened woman was right there? His own daydream was shattered as Ariana ripped the cords out of his head and began yelling in his ear.

"What the hell do you think you're doing watching that out here?!"

Benji's face flushed in embrassment. He raised his hand in admittance, still holding his cellphone with the video playing out loud as he spoke.

"Okay, okay. It's off!"

"God, I'm just so heavy!" It played.

"I didn't think anyone was around!" Benji snapped.

"My stupid fat ass can't even get up!"

"I guess.. welcome back, Ariana." He mumbled.

"I'm such a big, brainless butterball!"

Ariana snatched the device and paused the video. She held the phone to her brother's throat like a knife.

"I've only been here for five minutes and you've already found a way to ruin it." She growled. "Don't let me catch you watching this again."

Benji nodded and gingerly took the device out of her hands.

"Now, how about you get the pool ready so I can start my vacation?" She asked, more of a demand than a question.

The siblings split apart with Ariana resting in a different outdoor seat under the gazebo while Benji gathered the pool conditioners. His earlier cowardice festered into a black anger as he thought about how she had treated him. Ariana was perfect, and he was nothing. It was all he had heard throughout his life. The nerve of that stuck-up little brat. I'll show her, he thought.

Ariana watched as her lumpy step-brother poured a half gallon of pool-aid into the calm water. Unbeknownst to her it was mixed with a large scoop of a secret powder he'd stored away for a special occasion. The pink grains in the white solution slowly mixed into the aquamarine water. Whatever, she deserves it, especially after sneaking up on him. He tested the water with a strip and deemed it safe. Benji hid his knowing smirk, putting on a solemn face as he approached Ariana.

"Hey, so... I'm sorry about that. You're right. That was gross and not cool of me." He said with a sincere tone. "I know we fight, but Mom and Dad just want us to be on good terms with each other. I think they want a little bit of you to rub off on me." He said calmly.

It was easy to lie when you know you've already won, Benji thought. "Anyways, I was going to have the first dip in the new pool, but... would you like to have the honor?"

Ariana was slightly shocked by this more compassionate side of her brother. Maybe he was turning over a new leaf. Wow! And all it took was catching him watching fat fetish videos. Who knew?

"What I saw is going to burned into my mind, but... sure. Thanks, Benji." Ariana said, only gritting her teeth a little.

She swiftly changed into a two-piece swimsuit that showed off her trim body and cautiously stepped down the pool's ladder. Benji sat on the seat nearby, fiddling on his phone as she dove headfirst into the spiked mixture.

"How's the water?" He asked as Ariana surfaced.

"Not bad. Cooler than I thought." She answered, glancing towards him. "Are you looking at more of those videos?"

Benji rolled his eyes. "No."

"I mean, I guess it's okay that you do. It's weird, but everyone's got different tastes. Just keep it to your bedroom, okay?"

"Got it, loud and clear." He said in monotone, trying to go along with whatever she said to act casual.

It was easy to take the high road when he knew that she'd have her just deserts. Ariana treaded water in the shallow end, not quite tall enough to touch the bottom. Unbeknownst to her, Benji's dissolved powder had begun absorbing into her skin the moment she had entered the pool. As it did, the tiny clumping grains collected throughout her small body, stimulating and reforming Ariana from the inside.

"I don't mean to re-open that can of worms, but can I ask why? Like, why do you like those... types of women?." She called out across the quiet backyard.

The flushed Benji had to consider that. However, it was difficult to when his step-sisters' breasts were beginning to fill her swimsuit. The green cheetah pattern was clearly warping, even through the ripples of her twirling arms. His focus dulled as he stared at the B-cup breasts that she had never had before. Mouth slightly agape, he shook to his senses and tried to remember the question.

"Well, umm... I guess it's a, uh... primal thing. You know, like if a woman is big and happy, then that means she's cared for... and can bare children." He said off the fly.

Ariana held the edge of the pool to breathe and considered his answer. Below her elegant nose and dark lips, the tops of two bulges began to rise out of the water. Her C-cups swelled to D-cups in a matter of seconds as the osmotic powder filled the growing woman up. Benji watched her breasts inflate and settle, dropping into fat tits that began to poke out from the sides of her swimsuit as she pushed off and resumed treading water. With each rotation of her limbs, they looked thicker and thicker. Benji needed to talk or do something to stop himself from ogling her.

"Maybe that's where it stems from, but there's more to it. Like, individual preferences." He continued, trying to keep her attention from drifting.

"Fair." She said, nodding with an agreeing raise of her eyebrows. "But, it's, like, so extreme. That woman was what? Four thousand pounds?"

He looked beneath her blossoming breasts to the totally out of character potbelly that was pushing out from Ariana's midsection, making her look a few months pregnant.

"That's right." Benji said. "And I bet that woman in the video makes more than you and me both ever will."

"At the cost of her body, though." Ariana finished wistfully. "But, after six years in school, the thought of cashing out and going brain-dead isn't half bad now that I think about it."

A nagging righteous voice told Benji that enough was enough. His step-sister had already changed more than it would need to totally affect her life. It's already done then, another voice countered. Benji knew their parents had bought this mansion and it's pool on a whim while she was completing her second degree, sure that even if their finances fell apart, the brilliant Ariana would find a high-paying job to support them. Benji rolled his eyes back and saved the thought of her extreme proportions in a business suit. Her chances of being taken seriously with huge H-cups were slim, Benji selfishly thought. Maybe she'd be better at something else.

"Would you ever consider it?" Benji asked, wincing as she slowly swam her much rounder body towards the pool ladder.

"Only if I was desperate" Ariana answered promisingly.

She kicked fattening thighs that wouldn't look out of place on her mom, he thought. In just a minute or less, the powder had turned Ariana into a stacked, plump sex goddess.

"Well, this might be easier than I imagined then." Benji said with a grin as he stood up.

As she reached the ladder and began to pull herself up, Ariana noticed her body felt four times heavier than it was before. Benji walked toward the ladder where his step-sister was realizing just how big she was. Followed by him were their parents carrying the 'Welcome Home' dinner. Ariana flashed him a dead eyed sideways look of cold rage as she looked up from her changed body.

"Oh, you are so dead." She breathed before all of hell broke loose.

[inbarfink]

The thing that I’ve been thinking of is… so one of Dib’s most defining traits and flaws is supposed to be his desire for fame and emotional validation. You know he is fighting to protect the earth, but he’s also fighting for the sake of his own ego

It’s got a lot of fun potential because it’s both extremely understandable - he’s been bullied and emotionally neglected for his entire life, it’s no wonder his biggest fantasy is just to be loved - but it can also motivate some really selfish acts. Not to mention how much it acts as a mirror to Zim’s own desire for respect and prestige among his own people.

And because of that, I guess it actually kinda surprises me that they never tried to have Dib pull a… reverse Planet Jackers moment? Like, just as Zim will protect the Earth from outside threats because he wants the credit for destroying it - will Dib help Zim if his ability to get credit for defeating him is threatened?

Like, I imagine a story where maybe Dib meets a rival paranormal investigator, and the guy’s like a Super Mega Asshole to Dib and also thinks he’s crazy. And then this guy manages to capture Zim and it seems like he’s going to be the one to expose him to the world and get all the credit for foiling his infiltration scheme. The credit that Dib feels he rightly deserves. Or he simply get a chance to defeat Zim, but there are no witnesses and no evidence and no chance anyone will ever believe him. 

For Dib, stopping Zim and proving to the world that he’s been right all along have always been interwoven goals. He has always taken it for granted that doing the former will naturally lead to the latter… So how will he deal with a situation where Zim can be stopped for good, but his situation will not change. No one will know or believe what he just did, he would just be the same ridiculed social pariah - the only thing he actually accomplished is that he has gotten rid of his best chance to change that permanently.

And you know, he doesn’t necessarily have to take that chance to help Zim or let him go - even just having Dib struggle with the idea momentarily could be a very strong character moment for him. I think it’s a shamefully underutilized aspect of his canon characterization and I do hope we’d get to see it played with more one of these days. 

But you know which piece of canon really came closest to tackling this aspect?

Dib’s little plan for Zim in ETF is not quite exactly what I was talking about above - but there are some similarities.

I’ve seen some people talk about Dib’s ETF plan like it was meant to be a favor to Zim or some sort of attempt at redemption for him or like… a thing that Zim benefit from in any sort of way? Like, I've seen some people describe the plot of ETF like Zim's manipulation of Dib’s plan was him using Dib’s kindness and empathy against him? And that’s not exactly what’s happening here.

To recap, Dib tries to stage yet another confrontation between himself and Zim (to let off steam from his Daddy Issues) only to find Zim a total emotional wreck, depressed to the point of total apathy. His first instinct is to drag him away to ‘lock him up’ but... he’s not really feeling it.

Something’s not quite right about winning like this. And then, he shifts to empathy 

But then, he shifts again, when he realizes the ‘real’ thing he’s been missing - a crowd.

The real reason this victory was feeling hollow is because he hasn’t made it public enough! If he's going to use Zim's emotional rock-bottom as a way to finally defeat him and condemn him into a life of painful experiments.... he wants to do it in front of a cheering crowd!

And while Zim’s scheme seems to have started once he first laid eyes on the Membracelet 

That plan couldn’t have worked without Dib’s own scheme to exploit Zim’s suicidal depression to get him in front as many people as possible so that Dib can get worldwide fame and Daddy’s approval and Zim can get... experimented on for the rest of his life. 

There was no kindness here to exploit, only a desperate desire for emotional validation.

The big mistake Dib did that allowed Zim the window of opportunity he needed to take over Membrane Labs was not doing the Kind Thing when he should’ve done the Practical Thing - and it was not doing the Cruel Thing when he should’ve done the Kind Thing. Dib had his chance to do the Practical Thing right there and then - kill or capture Zim while he’s not fighting back. He considered doing the Kind Thing (empathizing with Zim) and he decided to abandon both of them in favor of… the thing that will get him the most fame and attention.

And that’s the weakness of Dib that Zim exploited in his scheme. And that’s the thing that almost doomed planet Earth. Quite ironically, it’s literally a flaw Zim himself possesses quite strongly.

If Dib was willing to think purely in terms of what’s safest for Earth he would’ve taken out Zim right there and then and Earth would be safe forever - but for the sake of his own ego he took a risk that the planet almost paid very dearly for. 

(And if he was willing to resist the temptation of fame and continue with the thread of empathy he showed Zim? Well, we can only speculate of what would've happened then...)

It’s not quite what I was talking about above; Dib would’ve probably gotten some of the fame and validation he wanted if he just stomped Zim’s head right there and dragged his corpse out - he just wanted as much attention as possible. And he didn’t knowingly help Zim or even seriously considered it as much as he was just tricked into a situation of Mutually Assured Bastardness. But I think it is the closest we’ve come so far, and I think it’s interesting.

[lunarmoves]

Going feral over Bleeding Wires and ngl as much as I GET the reader's freeze response, I'd at some point give into the impulse to deadpan at Sun. /pos

Like "Dude, you're making me feel like a prey animal." Or "Ya know. When Moon says that, it sounds like an intrusive thought. When you say it, it sounds like a threat."

Also separately giggling about him pondering my habit of tacking on "Be safe" to goodbyes and not Getting it until the revolution. Woe, memory of it being used for him too be upon him.

LMAOO BROOO that's understandable. and okay okay well. let me give u a small example of what would happen if you said that after sun says some generic evil AI bullshit:

"sun," you say carefully, wary of the way his smile sharpens in the fluorescent lighting. "you do realize that sounds like a threat, right?"

his eyes curve into crescents, rays giving a little spin about his face. "that is because it is one, friend."

you pause. "right," you reply after a moment. "i have to go make a phone call now, see you later."

[0.5 seconds after you've left the daycare and dialed security]

"yeah the daycare attendant's making super threatening comments about humanity and i kind of fear for my life," you whisper hurriedly into your phone. you'd scurried as far away as possible from the daycare entrance, though you can still see sun standing in the same place you'd left him in--staring at you through the window. you turn away. "maybe get him down to maintenance soon??"

yeah that wouldn't end well.

during the entirety of arc1, there are a lot of protests happening and talks about revolution from the robots, so if fazco catches wind that one of their own bots is saying shit like that? immediate memory wipe and/or scrapping. sorry sun</3 no chances are taken by the megacorporation

(and yeah, sure, maybe a law was passed a while ago saying that it's illegal to wipe a bot's memory without their permission (bc of course sun would be vehemently against that). but when has fazco ever given a shit about the law LMFAOO)

anyways, a more serious answer about reader's reactions... it hasnt been something i've really thought about? but now that i have... i think at the start maybe you brush off his comments easily. you make little jabs back at him or you go /raises eyebrow/ "srsly man?" but as time goes on and sun continues saying shit... you start to realize that oh. he's not just joking. he's being serious about his revolution ruminations or backhanded comments about humans. and so your reactions go from "lmao u know thats a threat right" to "haha im in danger." ESPECIALLY since u are very much vividly aware of how much stronger he is than you. and its not like fazco has the cleanest track record either yk? people go missing. it'd make anyone shit bricks

as for your "be safe" bit... assuming i've interpreted it correctly-- yeah i think he'd be like "oh. i have taken that for granted" in the face of the revolution. bc i can imagine him being like "??? 'be safe'?? no human can harm me" while you and him are still in the pizzaplex. and then he comes face to face with all the nasties of an uprising and the violence and human military etc etc and he thinks about you telling him to be safe. can picture it vividly in his mind, really. and he's like, "ah, i will never hear those words again. i have to make sure i am safe until i can see them again." i think it would haunt him fr

[genericpuff]

Hey puff you have a day job right? How do you keep the motivation/discipline to create comics regularly and be an active blogger?

I've mentioned this a few times before and generally try to be as transparent as possible as I can when it comes to my real life circumstances and how they affect - and allow - my comic production schedule, because when it comes right down to it, I'm in a very privileged position that allows me certain luxuries that other comic creators simply don't have. And I don't really like the idea of someone seeing what I do and like... thinking that's a bar they have to meet because it often comes with a complete misinterpretation of what circumstances I'm in that may vary extremely from their own. Y'all are seeing a tip of a very large iceberg, y'know?

I do have a day job, I work as a tattoo artist, however my schedule is very much my own to control and while that comes with a lot of pressure to find my own work, it also allows for me to have flexibility with my other projects. That said, I'm only able to be that flexible because when I'm making money, I'm making really decent money (and with far less hours than I would need to make my living if I was working in retail still) and when I'm not, I've got a partner who makes a more consistent living that may have a much smaller hourly than what I get hourly for tattooing, but is still a decent hourly compared to minimum wage that he's able to handle bills while I get back on my feet (and there have been tons of times where our situations have been reversed, where I've been making good money and he's been needing extra help; it's honestly kind of some cosmic prank, the two of us can never seem to be doing financially well at the same time lmao)

Right now, we're just starting to come out of a slow winter season, so I've had more time than ever to sink into my personal projects. It does get stressful at times having such inconsistent payouts through the ebbs and flows of tattooing, but I try to be at peace with those slow seasons because it allows me to work on my passion projects. Especially when I've got not one, not two, but three separate tattoo expos (so far) to do this summer, which is gonna be (hopefully) three separate 30 hour weekends of straight tattooing haha And while I say hopefully (because yay good money and good publicity!) it's also gonna be extremely stressful and exhausting so I'm trying not to take the slower season for granted, because I know I'll be wishing for it again when I'm in the midst of it. And that's not even including all the other events I have booked this year that are purely for vendoring (so unrelated to tattooing) that are also gonna be crazy.

That said, the past couple years have felt particularly hard, but I know it's because we're unfortunately in the midst of a massive economic recession that has seen people spending less on luxury things - and that includes tattoos. But my comics and other personal projects give me a great outlet for my ideas and thoughts, and while projects like Rekindled are unfortunately not something I feel comfortable monetizing, they are ultimately projects that bring me a lot of joy and I think that's the best I can ask for nowadays while I wait in the hopes that things get better soon in the real world.

As for getting that motivation/discipline, I don't really have one solid answer. The reality is just that I've been doing this for a long, long time, so not drawing comics feels like not doing any other established good habit. What you may feel wondering how I manage to work so long on a single comic project with such hefty updates is undoubtedly pretty close to what I feel wondering how the fuck people manage to go to the gym LOL It's taken a lot of routine building and repetition and it's as natural as breathing to me at this point, I just feel gross when I've gone a day without drawing comics in some form. That routine has helped me get better and faster at creating as well. When I started my first long-form comic series, I started out just drawing a page a day - often taking 3-4 weeks to complete a chapter - and by the time it was done 7 years later, I was putting out a chapter a week. And then that turned into 60-90 panels of full color art a week... nah, I don't recommend anyone do that on their own like I did, I can't even do that anymore and looking back I'm in shock how I was able to pull that off, and not in an amazed "why can't I do that anymore, I used to be so awesome!" way, but more in a "oh god why did I do that to myself, no wonder I'm burnt out" way.

And honestly that's kind of the reality of it, while I'm putting out consistent updates of Rekindled that are in full color and are - in my opinion - some of the best work I've put out in the last few years, I'm also struggling to rebuild habits with my original project because I've simply fallen out of practice. I'm one person responsible for all the work I've put out, and yet when it comes to looking at the projects I still have sitting on the backburner, I still feel a sort of internalized version of Person A looking at Person B and asking "how the hell do you do it???" just like you're asking me now lol I'm working on it though and trying to get back to it little by little, day by day. On rare occasions I actually get something productive done and make progress LOL

That said, none of it has come without consequences. I've spent the majority of my artistic journey working on the same project which I feel has severely stunted my outreach and set me back in my growth; after all, we only ever see and judge the merit of webcomic projects based on the 1% of people who got lucky and achieved some semblance of fame and recognition out of it, you never see the people who have spent years still picking away at the same project from the bottom with little to show for it besides the work that's going unseen. I've also already got way more back and hip pain than one should have by their late 20's and that's definitely a consequence of spending so many hours every single day working on comics. As much as I've built some great habits that have made my comics and art better, I've also ended up with some very bad ones that a lot of people don't see because all they see is the results from the good ones. So that's something that I hope I can at least warn people about, even as a reminder to stand up and stretch every now and then and get their proper amount of sleep LMAO

And then when it comes to the blogging... I'm an AuDHD person with a lot to say and I can type at 137/wpm. So that's all there is to that ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chp: 6

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 3.4k

Warnings: smut, nsfw, use of homophobic slur, angst, reader receiving, top!reader, draco malfoy sympathiser

Note: first and foremost, i'm starting a taglist for this fic so if i u wanna be added do leave a comment!

secondly, gonna just be honest with y'all and say this is probably gonna be the last happy hermione x reader chapter for awhile bc it gets dark from here on out so brace yourselves

(also sorry to play into the cliche jealousy trope but i had so much fun writing it so im not totally sorry )

anyway this is a hefty chapter i hope u enjoy!

You felt a touch on your arm, opening your eyes you expected to be met with the sight of Hermione. She had refused to leave your side the past few days you had spent in the infirmary.

To your surprise, you're met with steely blue eyes instead. Draco is sat by your bedside, uncharacteristically soft gaze plastered across his face.

Your chest constricts at the sight, this was the Draco you remember.

"Hey" The platinum haired boy whispers, a sheepish smirk forming.

"Hi." You reply, mimicking his expression.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't feel much of anything really, with all the numbing charms Hermione's put on me." You quip.

You joke but you're eternally grateful to your girlfriend for her unconditional care for you.

You swear sometimes she is too good to be true.

Draco breaks your gaze and lets out a chuckle.

"She seems to really care about you." He says earnestly.

"I'm lucky to have her."

You watch as Draco's face contorts, an undistinguishable expression, embarrassment perhaps, or guilt.

"Maybe I've been a bit too hard on her."

Amused, you let out a sharp breath through your nose.

"A bit?"

Your bestfriend merely smiles knowingly, allowing you the satisfaction to take that jab at him.

"Listen, I'm really sorry. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have gotten injured." Draco starts and you lift your hand up gesturing for him to stop speaking.

"Don't even start with that." You assert.

"I would give my life for you. You know this."

Draco diverts his eyes again, as if it pained him to look at you.

"I wish you wouldn't. I don't deserve that." His voice trembles, you fear that he's about to cry.

"Draco-"

He shakes his head, almost pleading for you to stop talking.

"Harry was right."

Your eyebrows furrow, taken aback at the sudden confession.

"Right about what?"

"I gave Katie that cursed necklace." Draco admits, timidly fiddling with his fingers. He is afraid of your response.

"Why on earth-"

You are interrupted by Draco pulling up his sleeve, revealing the dark mark that's been etched into his arm.

"Oh."

You take a few moments to deliberate a response. A sudden rage overcoming you. Angry at the dark lord's cowardice. Forcing an unsuspecting boy. A boy eager to prove his worth, to do his bidding. You were not shocked at Draco's reasoning, ofcourse he threatened to harm his family. You expected nothing less from Voldermort.

"You dont have to explain yourself to me. Circumstances aren't granting you much of a choice right now, Draco."

"I can't convince you of what you deserve, but the truth of it is that you are my brother. I will always have your back."

He looks at you astounded, Draco really expected you to condemn him. You felt a sudden urge to wrap him into an embrace, you would've done so if only moving wasn't difficult for you.

He lets out a relieved sigh. Eventually letting his head fall, he rests it by your arm on the bed.

You sat with him in silence for a few moments before you decided to speak again.

"Well, since we're being honest. I should let you know, I've made my choice. I'll become a death eater. I'll join you."

Sick to your stomach, saying those words felt utterly wrong. Yet for Hermione's safety, you had to play the part. Whatever it takes.

Draco lifts his head and doesn't attempt to hide his surprise, before eventually nodding in understanding.

You had little choice in the matter, same as him.

He grabs your hand, almost a silent gesture of moral support.

"What are you going to tell her?"

You shrug, defeated.

"The truth, I suppose."

You are awoken again this time by the nurse's hand hovering over your forehead.

You glance over to see the morning sun peaking in through the windows.

"Your fever has subsided. Any pain?"

You attempt to sit up and felt sore in your abdomen, but nothing you couldn't handle.

"No pain."

"Very well, do have your breakfast here first Miss Y/n and then you are free to go."

The nurse says and you allow a half smile. You were just excited to finally spend time with Hermione anywhere else but in the infirmary.

As if on cue, your girlfriend walks in greeting you with a grin.

"Ah Miss Granger, I have discharged her." The nurse says, gesturing to you.

"However, do make sure she doesn't take part in any strenuous activities for the next few days. Better to be safe." Your girlfriend nods and the nurse takes her leave.

"Hi gorgeous." You say as you watch a blush form on Hermione's face at your compliment.

Your girlfriend leans down and gives you a quick peck on the lips.

"Are you really feeling better? Or are you just saying that to get out of here quicker?" The brown haired girl remarks and you fight the urge to purse your lips, she knows you too well.

"No I really am feeling better, see?" You stand up quickly and stretched your body obnoxiously, before punching the air pretending to fight an invisible man.

Hermione laughs before grabbing your arms to still your movements.

"Okay very funny, be careful don't hurt yourself."

It was a Saturday afternoon and Hermione naturally insisted on spending her time studying. She had also made quick work of putting you on bed rest. Ignoring your efforts of convincing her that you felt fine.

You are sat on her bed mindlessly flipping through a book, incapable of focusing on the words on the page. You look up and watch for several minutes as your girlfriend sits at her desk, reading through her history of magic textbook and taking notes.

It was the weekend, Hermione never allowed herself time to relax.

You let out a loud sigh, at an attempt to get your girlfriend's attention. She continues scribbling away at her book.

That's enough, you had to take matters into your own hands.

You get up from the bed and walk towards her, Hermione too busy to notice you were now stood behind her.

Leaning down you placed a quick kiss against her shoulder. Your girlfriend hums in response but makes no effort at acknowledging you otherwise.

You take it one step further, placing another kiss on her neck. This time you hear her breathe in sharply. Your mouth lingers over her neck and you place another open mouthed kiss against it. You quickly trail your tongue up settling over her ear. Hermione releases another trembling breath.

"Y/n." She warns and you merely smirk in response.

"I'm trying to study and you need to rest."

You groan, settling your arms on either side of her chair, you quickly swivel it turning Hermione around to face you.

She lets out a gasp before you leaned down, capturing her lips with yours. You kiss her deeply, she kisses you back the same not protesting.

For a few moments you are standing there, making out with your girlfriend. You pull away and watched as Hermione's chest heaved, trying to control her breathing.

You swiftly kneeled down infront of her and moved your hand to the hem of her jeans, attempting to unbutton them before Hermione grabbed your hand, stopping you.

You glance up meeting your girlfriend's stern gaze.

"No strenuous activities, remember?" The shorter girl scolds.

A sly smirk across your face, you move your face up to kiss your girlfriend again.

"This isn't strenuous." You say in between kisses.

"It's rather relaxing." You kiss her again, before moving to place a kiss on her ear.

"For both of us I'd say" You whisper as your mouth hovered over her ear.

You watch as Hermione takes her bottom lip in between her teeth. She's trying so hard to resist you.

"No." Your girlfriend finally breathes out. She places her hands on your shoulders shoving you away.

"No sex until you feel better."

A pout forming on your face.

"I am feeling better!" You almost shout.

Hermione says nothing in response, placing a quick kiss against your lips before moving her chair, she turns to face her desk again.

You let out another groan eventually giving up, you stand and make your way back to the bed.

"Although," Hermione voices, stopping you in your tracks.

"Slughorn's having his Christmas party tonight, I didn't plan on going but since you are clearly feeling better.."  Hermione pauses.

"Will you come with me?"

Your expectant expression turned to a dissapointed one.

"Oh"

"That really isn't the same as sex, is it?"

Hermione lets out laugh as she gets up from her chair, walking towards you she wraps both her arms around your neck.

"Not quite." "So will you accompany me please?" Your girlfriend asks you again.

"It would be my honour."

Dull was an understatement. This was the worst party you had ever been to.

To make matters worse, Mclaggen had been making eyes at your girlfriend all night.

Hermione had perfected the art of ignoring the twat, she mostly focused her attention on you and engaged in conversation with Ginny.

You walk over to the buffet table to grab another drink. You took out your wand, secretly reciting a spell to add alcohol into your glass. You quickly downed the glass of the spiked fruitpunch before taking another glassful. You moved it up to your lips but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Get you hands off me you filthy squib!" Draco insults.

"I found this one lurking in the upstairs corridor, he claims to have been invited." Mr Filch announces and the room goes quiet.

"Okay, I was gatecrashing! Happy?" The platinum haired boy admits, annoyed. He shifts his gaze meeting yours for a moment before looking at Professor Snape, who was now stood before him.

"I'll escort him out." The professor merely states and Filch harshly lets go of Draco's arm.

You watched as they made their way out. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. What the hell is Draco up to?

"Okay carry on! carry on!" Slughorn exclaims in between awkward laughs attempting for everyone to resume the party.

If you didn't know any better you'd make a remark to him about Draco's interruption being the only interesting part of this night.

You glance over at Ginny and noticed Hermione was no longer with her.

Scanning the room for your girlfriend you spot her in the far corner. Cormac's hand on her waist, she looks visibly uncomfortable with her hand on his chest clearly trying to push him away.

Anger overcoming you. The Gryffindor boy just couldn't take no for an answer.

You stormed towards them, before Cormac could realise you had harshly grabbed his shirt, shoving him onto the ground.

"How many times does she have to say no to you for you to get the message?" You shouted.

A shit eating grin on his face, he stands up dusting himself off.

"We were just talking" Cormac lies, you wanted to smack the smirk right off his face.

"Just stay away from her. Or I swear I will kill you." It took everything in you not to lunge at him.

You turn towards Hermione, her hand grasping your arm.

"Are you alright?" Your girlfriend quickly nods.

"Come on let's just go." She tugs your arm but you were stopped by Cormac's voice behind you.

"You know you don't scare me, dyke."

Without a moment's thought you lunged towards him, your fist making contact with his face. He's thrown backwards and he falls to the ground again.

You hear Hermione gasp before feeling her hand on your arm again she is grasping you tightly this time.

"I dare you to say it again!" Fishing your wand out of your pocket, you're now shaking with anger as you point it at him.

"Please Y/n let's go, just leave him." Hermione pleads and you comply.

"Episkey" Hermione waves her wand over your knuckles, the pain from it quickly subsiding.

You watch as Hermione walks toward her desk grabbing an empty ziplock bag. She waves her wand over it and you see ice slowly forming. She grabs it and hands it to you.

"Can't be too sure" she shrugs.

You place the ice pack on your knuckles and move backwards, resting your back against her cupboard.

Your girlfriend stares at you, unreadable expression. Your guess is she's upset with you.

"Hermione, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I just hate that he won't leave you alone-"

The shorter girl quickly silences you with a kiss. You kiss her back after the intial shock dissipates. Hermione deepens the kiss her hands against your chest, pushing you further back against the cupboard. Her tongue enters your mouth and you drop the ice pack, hand settling on her waist pulling her impossibly closer.

You move your head, ending the kiss. You watch as Hermione chases your lips but eventually opens her eyes to meet your gaze.

"Are you not upset with me?" Your voice low.

Your girlfriend smirks and shakes her head before leaning in to place a kiss on the corner of your mouth. Hermione tilts her head to now plant a kiss on your neck, you feel her nip at your skin slightly before placing a wet kiss on it making a gasp escape your lips.

The shorter girl pulls back and looks at you with a darkened gaze, she bites her lip. You feel her hands move to the hem of your pants and she starts to undo your belt.

You are paralysed for a moment, staring at her in awe. Your girlfriend was truly captivating, especially in moments like these.

Eye contact remains between the two of you as Hermione begins to pull down your pants, she gets down on her knees and your mouth falls open slightly in anticipation. Nothing has happened yet but you felt it was impossible to catch your breath.

Hermione tugs your underwear down and looks up at you expectantly as if asking for permission.

You nod, a little too enthusiastically watching as her mouth comes in contact with your center. You let out a moan, throwing your head back, days of pent up sexual frustration now being released as Hermione's mouth worked her way at you.

You pant, your girlfriend's skilled tongue moving against you making it impossible for you to think coherently.

"Fuck, baby you're so good at that."

You choke out, in between pants. This seemed to spur Hermione on as she moves her head, mouth pressing harder against your core. You can feel your climax approaching, embarrassingly fast.

Hermione moves her hand, grabbing your ass she pulls you even closer and you feel her tongue push into your entrance, this becomes your undoing.

You cum hard into her mouth, knees buckling instantaneously your girlfriend moves her hands to either side of your hips, preventing you from falling to the floor.

"Come here." You grab her arm pulling her up you kiss her hungrily, tasting yourself.

Your hand moves to unzip her dress and she lets you pull it over her head. Quickly you unclasp her bra, your hand coming in contact with her breasts you start kneading as Hermione's breathing gets louder and heavier. She grabs the back of your neck pulling your head down to her chest. You obey and take one her nipples into your mouth. You began sucking and the smaller girl lets out a desperate moan.

You lifted your head moving your mouth away, she whines at the lost of contact but you don't give her the chance to verbally protest as you quickly hoist her up, one hand under her thigh. Hermione's legs wrap around your waist reflexively as she grips the back of your neck. You move her backwards dropping her on the bed rather harshly.

You needed to have her now.

You capture her lips into a deep kiss and a moan spills out of her lips your hands finding her breasts, you knead them again.

Without warning you moved your hand to her waist, flipping her over Hermione is now on her stomach.

Your girlfriend lets out a gasp. You swiftly grabbed the hem of her panties, taking them off her. Hermione was now laying before you on her stomach completely naked.

You roughly pulled her up so she was now on her knees, her dripping core at full display.

You put two fingers into your mouth, lubricating them before moving it to your girlfriend's entrance. Hermione mewls at the feeling of your fingers against her bare pussy.

She moves her hips back at a desperate attempt to feel more of you.

"Please." Hermione chokes out.

"Hm?" You decided to tease.

"Tell me what you need baby, use your words."

"Please" She says again, her voice trembling with need.

"Y/n please. I need your fingers inside."

You push your fingers into her, met with no resistance as her core was dripping wet.

Hermione lets out a loud moan at the feeling of your fingers inside her. You slowly pulled out of her before pumping back into her until you were knuckle deep.

You kept the same momentum until you felt your girlfriend's walls tighten against your fingers, she was close.

Her moans growing more obscene, you lean forward gripping her hair, pulling her into a kiss, muting her sounds of pleasure.

You disconnected the kiss and Hermione moans loudly at the feeling of you harshly gripping her hair. You then moved your hand to clasp it over her mouth.

"Always so fucking loud." You growl into her ear as you continued to pump your fingers deeply in and out of her.

You watch as Hermione's eyes roll to the back of her head. Her walls constrict painfully against your fingers as she comes undone.

You pull your fingers out of her and Hermione falls forward. She lays limp on the bed panting heavily, trying to recover from the intense orgasm you just gave her.

You let out a chuckle.

"I'm not done with you yet."

You're laying in bed, Hermione's head against your bare chest. She has her hand in yours as she occasionally moved her fingers to fidget with your Slytherin crest ring.

Suddenly you remembered the gift you had gotten for her.

"I got you something." You say and watched as Hermione's eyebrows furrow.

You chuckle at her adorable expression before grabbing your wand.

"Accio"

A small ring sized box floats quickly out of your blazer pocket and into your hand.

You hold it up to Hermione and she sits up abruptly.

"Are you about to propose because I'm more of a grand gesture type of person." Hermione quips and you roll your eyes.

"Just open it before I change my mind."

Hermione giggles before grabbing the box, she opens it to reveal a silver coated ring, in the center was a green stone.

"Y/n, it's beautiful." Your girlfriend says as tears well up in her eyes.

You grab the ring, carefully putting it on for her. You settled on putting it on her ring finger on her right hand, the same hand you wore yours.

"Why?"

The brown haired girl's confusion was understandable. Gift giving not your usual way of showing affection.

You grab her hand, holding it up and gesturing for her to keep it there. You then moved your own hand inches away from hers. A light trailing from your ring to hers, a bond.

"Protean charm?" Hermione asks and you nod.

"As long as we wear these rings we will be connected. Even when we are apart, I've enchanted your ring so it'll let you know where I am at all times. The closer we are in proximity the brighter this trail of light will be."

A fond smile forms on Hermione's face, she pulls you into a long kiss. Eventually, disconnecting your lips she rests her forehead against yours.

"Thank you. I love it."

Your heart swells but the feeling quickly dissipates as you prepared yourself to tell her the whole truth.

You leaned back, forcing her to look at you in the eyes.

"There is another reason I got you this. A more important reason."

Hermione merely watches you, waiting for you to continue.

"I have to join the Death Eaters." You admit quicker than you intended.

You watch as Hermione flinches, sitting up. She looked almost affronted.

"What?"

[velvet-vox]

The complete and utter alienation of Tai Lung: Part 2

Very recently I've done a marathon of all the Kung Fu Panda movies after not seeing them for a couple of years, watching one after the other in a single day, and aside from the emotional whiplash of seeing Kung Fu Panda 3 right after 2, it really got me to rethink about the colour theory present in the Kung Fu Panda movies, and more specifically about Tai Lung's.

Now, it's no secret that my first Tai Lung analysis blew up (unexpectedly), and it's still getting new hearts to this very day, and thus it only felt natural to make a sequel that could touch upon things that I didn't talk about originally.

So... let's bring up the colour table again, shall we?

As we have already established, Po is yellow, Shen red, Kai and Oogway green, and Tai Lung blu....... right?

The thing is, this simple association of the colour's meaning doesn't leave much room for an interesting, in depth discussion, that's why I wanted to go a little bit deeper into what I've head cannoned as the individual meaning of each primary colour, so that we can expand upon our current colour dynamics.

Just for reminder:

Cyan+Magenta=Blue

Magenta+Yellow=Red

Yellow+Cyan=Green

Just like we said, Yellow is the colour of Po, our heroes, the good side, (the Chameleon) and justice; whenever Yellow is present on the scene, you know that you can put yourself to ease, as nothing bad is probably going to happen;

I believe this to be the most straightforward primary colour, for obvious reasons, but especially because all the other colours gain their meaning when compared to Yellow (Po, our protagonist), therefore it also has to be the one we understand the most.

Indeed,

Po = Yellow

Now, this is where it starts to get interesting:

....I believe cyan to be Oogway's true colour. I think about it. When we first met Oogway, the only lighting present in the room was the cyan light of the Dragon scroll's pond, there was actually very little green accentuated in that scene, it was all mostly mellowed out by the cyan.

It also makes sense when you consider that Tai Lung and Kai had a relationship with Oogway, while Shen didn't because red isn't made out of cyan.

There's also the whole popular belief that "cyan represents patience" which also fits Oogway, but it's not really important to this discussion, so you can think what you want about it.

So,

Oogway = Cyan

Magenta... is particular.

Particular in the sense that it's extremely rare in both the movies and outside material.

Of magenta/purple things that come to mind we have Crane and Tai Lung's clothing, Shen's mother, Feng Huang related things, that weird sexual panda from the third movie... and probably some more.

As you can see, magenta is incredibly hard to pinpoint its meaning due to how infrequently it's used, which makes sense: Magenta and purple have ties to royalty in both China and other countries around the world; it's a sacred colour, so it has to be used sparingly, and I don't think it was ever intended by the writers for a meaning to be extrapolated from it.

....

Yet I tried to anyway.

Now, let it be known that I'm planning to make a post talking about Po's weird relationship birds, as it feels like whenever a bird is on screen the conflict is already more personal for Po.

For now... you could argue that magenta means danger, since it's the closest colour to purple aka yellow's opposite, and both Shen and Tai Lung are a direct threat to Po while Kai is treated as a joke for the entirety of the final movie, but I doubt bad writing has any deeper meaning.

I actually wanted to attribute magenta the meaning of closeness. For me, it was the easiest way to justify his rarity: it can't be Shifu's colour because he lost relevance after the first movie, and no other character is closely associated with it, so it makes sense for it to just be a colour that's taken for granted by Po since his adopted dad shares those tones.

However, I think I came up with a much more interesting idea: it's the colour of pride and approval, as Tai Lung and Shen both sought the approval of their parents to satisfy their ego, while Kai wasn't seeking anybody's approval for his evil actions.

Ultimately, magenta, much like in the movies, is irrelevant to the narrative, so I'm going to ignore it, but for now,

Approval = Magenta

Finally, (a worthy opponent) with all that out of the way, let's talk about everybody's favourite snow leopard!

And the first thing to mention, is the gold.

The Gold.

The GOLD.

It's everywhere. Whenever you look at him, Tai Lung is always chasing the gold, he was welcomed by the gold when he had no one by his side, and said gold was always what he dreamt about when he was in jail, he basked in the gold his entire life, and when that gold rejected him, he had nothing left in his life to cling onto because his entire life was dependent by that gold.

While Shen and Kai have Yellow as part of their secondary colour by nature, Tai Lung doesn't, yet he wants to. But that yellow keeps rejecting him and putting an end to his actions;

When Tai Lung's first rampage is interrupted, the (chi) body block technique that Oogway uses to stop him is yellow; when Po kills him at the end of the movie, the after wave of the Wuxi finger is, again, yellow; TAI LUNG'S EYES ARE YELLOW. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT'S ALWAYS ON HIS MIND.

... And that makes all the similarities that he shares with Tigress kind of sad (For both).

Like, I already knew that Tigress and Tai Lung were similar and meant to be foil, but it's only after my most recent rewatch the underlying pain and tragedy present in their rivalry really hit me.

If Tigre's pupils weren't red, she would have easily turned out as the next Tai Lung.

And Tai Lung upon seeing how similar he is to Tigress, probably thinks "This is what Shifu replaced me with. A cheap knock-off copy of the real deal".

It hurts him deeply, because it reminds him of how little Shifu really cared for him, despite not being true, and it scares Tigress, who's nervous for their entire interaction, due to now finally seeing Tai Lung in the flesh and not as just some story she overheard.

Tragically, once Tai Lung finally manages to get his paws on the Dragon scroll (yellow), it doesn't fix anything for him, instead, it sends him spiralling one last time before Po can finally put him out of his misery.

And with that, Tai Lung goes out of his miserable existence, only finding peace in the afterlife, and not in death.

<<<<Previous part

The horrifying humanity of Lord Shen

[conanssummerchild]

i was watching meeseeks and destroy today and in the beginning of the episode when morty tells rick that he's done with their adventures i couldn't help but remember a similar situation with evil morty and his rick in the flashback at the beginning of unmortricken and i think its very notable to see the difference between the two scenes:

(please forgive the shitty pictures, theyre taken straight from my laptop 😭. blue is morty prime and rick c-137 and orange is evil rick and morty)

both scenes start with the mortys having an objection about the adventures

"Wow, another adventure where I went up an ass."

"I just killed my family! I dont care what they were."

and both ricks act generally dismissive about it, although evil rick does go for more of a kind of mocking approach while c-137 is just plain dismissive, almost distracted kind of like hes not really paying attention to what morty is saying

"Oh, good, are we having this fight again?" Let me guess, you're gonna leave or throw a sulking fit?"

"I don't know, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough."

dismissive at first (like i've repeated 3 times already, sorry i cant think of another word 😭), but his face changes when he realises morty's being fr

evil morty's response is, justifiably, to insult his rick, but morty primes response is not meant to be insulting, and its kinda more telling rick how he feels (traumatised) and showing rick his frustration with their adventures as they are

"You think you know everything, Rick, but you're basically just a giant 8-year old." (accurate and also not the only time evil morty has expressed this sentiment)

"You know what, Rick? Thats it! I'm done with these insane adventures! That was really traumatising! I quit! I'm out!"

It's also notable that morty prime is the one who says he's done with ricks stuff, while evil rick is the one who challenges morty to leave

"I'm not doing this anymore! Either you're in or you're out, Morty. I'm tired of you weaponising this half-assed threat. You want out, then fucking quit!"

so evil rick's reaction to morty complaining is to challenge him to leave, but, while initially dismissive, as soon as c-137 realises morty's serious, he immediately tries to stop him

"Woah, woah, woah! Come on, Morty, don't be like that. The universe is a crazy, chaotic place."

look at him, he's so worried about morty leaving

and lastly, evil morty agrees and apologises (ofc we know it isnt sincere, but still, he doesn't even try to get his rick to understand his perspective because he likely never has before), while morty prime doesn't back down and stands his ground

"You know what, you're right. Sorry to be such a high-maintenance Morty. Why don't i get you a drink?"

"You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun."

evil morty then goes on to kill hundreds or thousands of ricks and torture their morties and do a bunch more unspeakable shit, all to escape his rick and the cfc, while rick c-137 and morty prime continue to argue for a little bit longer, but eventually come to a decision together and go on the very first Morty Adventure (which is definitely quite a rocky road, but establishes morty being allowed to pick some of their adventures, which is what he wanted)

also very notable is when evil rick starts shouting and leans into evil morty's space, morty flinches and falls back, shielding himself with his arm (which is something i didnt actually notice initially but that @/fandomwe1rd0 pointed out in this post right here) and he makes a small noise that sounds like one of fear (a video of the scene is in the post i just linked if you want to take a closer look at the interaction). at no point during c-137 and morty prime's little argument does morty flinch/seem afraid of rick physically harming him, granted c-137 didnt really yell at him like evil rick did, but evil morty flinches away when rick leans towards him, not when he starts yelling, and c-137 doesnt just lean towards morty, he actually puts his hands on his shoulders, actually touching him, and morty seems in now way deterred or afraid.

apologies for any spelling mistakes its 2am lol, i hope this made any sense at all! :)

[polyamorousmood]

How do you deal with insecurity in a polyam relationship?

I've been in a poly V before, with my girlfriend at the time, and her other partner; but I honestly wasn't really invested in the relationship so I wasn't bothered.

I feel like,, if I have a partner and we either a) accept another and form a triad or b) I end up with a metamour again, I would end up worrying that my parner(s) would leave me to simply be together.

(For context, I have AvPD so like... abandonment is a complex of mine and I'm working on it but I'm still so insecure a lot of the time.)

So.. yeah. I've seen you address jealousy/envy, and I know I'd probably deal with a bit of that (in the sense that 'oh, b gets to spend time with c while I'm at work, I'm envious' kind of way) but I know that insecurity would be the thing that would bother me the most

Polysecure by Jessica Fern is generally considered a holy text 🛐of polyamory and this exact question in particular. I haven't read it personally (yet. Its on my list my list is just long 😅) So if you haven't given that a go yet, everyone I know who has read it, has recommended at least sections of it. I know it talks about attachment styles and how to handle those, which might be helpful if you have avoidant personality disorder.

The other thing, of course, is consider bringing this up with a therapist, because I am not one. And this seems like a touchy enough topic that everything I say here is pulled from my experience and should be taken as "ideas to think about🤔" and not "clinical advise that will Fix It🪄" As per usual, LOTS to go over here. So. read more.

P.S. after typing up everything, I realized this post I wrote to help a supportive partner address insecurity might also be helpful for you, and even has a worksheet! Its probably better formatted too. So.. maybe I wasted my typing here 😓. C'est la vie.

Firstly, you never said you identify as polyamorous. So if you're not... you could just date monogamously 🤷 as much as I love 💟polyamory and would like it if the whole world loved it too, if that's gonna be too big a thing for you, there's no reason you have to bother at all.

If you are going to date polyamorously for whatever reason, BEFORE you introduce another person to the mix, have a regular, set time you and your partner spend apart. It sounds counter-intuitive, but maintaining your own social life and identity outside your partner is huge. Do this especially when you're super invested and want to spend every second with your partner. That's honestly true whether you're poly or not, but in this specific case. I think a lot of the fear is bolstered by the idea that without you there, your partner is just spending that time loving the other person. And maybe they'd like to do that more blah blah blah. But this proves that's not the case: when you're not there, you partner is getting drinks with the girls, or building model ships, or any other numerous things they like independent of you. And it also means you're not just pining over your partner when you're gone, you have other shit to do too. And you'll come to look forward to your two hours a week at the coffee shop (or whatever). You will learn reasonable time apart does not equal less romantic interest.

And then, on the flip side of that, set regular protected time with your partner. Not to say never ever will something come up that interrupts that. Emergencies arise🚨, or the time may have to be renegotiated later, etc etc. But having the confidence that no matter what, you'll have a movie date every week, or that Tuesday night is Romance Night, or whatever you decide on, can make it easier. It can help prevent you feeling taken for granted, and can naturally curb NRE with other people if that starts getting unruly. If your partner starts wanting to cut into this time for not-important-shit, tell them you're not okay with that, or -- and only if truly it feels okay to you -- at least get them to make the time up the next day. And you, of course, need to treat it as special too. Make the time important, fulfilling, and intimate. It can be any activity, as long as its bonding time -- quality time, in the truest sense of the word.

Take time to get to know yourself, and share it with your partner. What do you consider to be sacred between you and your partner? Are you okay with your meta and your partner having sacred things -- what type of things? Do you feel better knowing the details of your partner's other relationships, or will that make you more jealous? (I like knowing more, because the thought of my partner having this secret life without me makes me more insecure, but other people are very reasonably of the opinion that hearing that their partner had so much fun without them is a bummer.) How much about you are you okay with your partner dilvulging to your meta(s)? Go through this on as many things as you can think of. Now, what you're comfortable with is not the only factor here; you and your partner will probably both have to make some concessions to reach something workable, but I've found that process, with a good partner, to be more securing in and of itself. You both are working together towards a common understanding. Its generally good practice to avoid hard-and-fast rules here, when possible. For example, "I'm only okay with you dating others if you're home by 11🕚 every night" makes some sense, but if taken literally means if your partner gets a flat on the way home, or has to deal with your meta's mental breakdown, or even just wants to see a movie that won't finish until 11:05 -- that's a betrayal. Perhaps even just asking for a one-time allowance is a betrayal. Instead, work for understandings or guidelines. Maybe the similar understanding in this example is "its hard for me to sleep alone, so I'd like you to generally be home by 11:00, and notify me as soon as possible if that's not going to happen" and then when they bring up wanting to stay out late one night for something, you can ask if its possible for them to do it on a night you don't have to work in the morning (maybe they can, maybe they can't, the point here is that its a dialogue, see below). There will be some trial and error here, so be prepared for that and stick it out.

Don't take every problem as a sign things are doomed, or your partner is divesting, or your partner isn't worth your investment. There will be times when someone is actually abusive, or there will be irreconcilable differences. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about "My partner is late for the second time this week, they're pulling away from me, this is the beginning of the end"-type shit. No it ain't. A good exercise for this is to explicitly outline your worst-case scenario💣, followed by a best case-scenario🌈, and then a few most likely cases⬜. So from our example above, worst case is that they're pulling away (so you have to pull away faster so you "win" and avoid pain), best case-scenario is that they're late because they're buying you a gift on their way home, and most likely scenario is that traffic's worse than they planned or they ran into someone at the gas station and stopped to talk for a bit or whatever.

Figure out how to self-soothe. Make a stache of nice things your partner has done for you that you can check on your own to remind yourself you're important to them. Reframe some of your jealous worries. Remind yourself of things you're looking forward to with your partner. Make a vent journal. Whatever clicks to you.

And as always, 🗣️talk to your partner. Productively talk to your partner.🗣️ Talk to your partner as much as possible about how things make you feel, and make sure they're doing the same. I talk more about how to talk through problems here, and its worth the read imho (even though its equally long). But for now, know that forming this habit on its own is functionally indistinguishable from being securely attached. As long as the communication is you and your partner vs the problem (and not, for example, your insecurity vs your partner's willingness to compromise), this will be good for the relationship, and you will feel better for doing it. But to form that habit, you have to do it with everything, not just Big Problems. You have to tell your partner sincerely how much you appreciate stuff they're getting right, you have to tell them about small problems that you can handle on your own, you have to tell them about things you're not sure how you feel about yet.

[modrntravlr]

Amongst the Stars - Tenth Doctor

Doctor Who - Tenth Doctor x Fem!Reader

Word Count - 1.5k

Warnings - Smut (obviously), Minor Drinking

A/N:

Hi everyone! This is my first time ever writing smut so please bare with me, I'm trying something new for Kinktober. I've also only recently gotten into Doctor Who and have never written for this fandom before so apologies for any inconsistencies with characterization or anything (not that there's much of that happening here). Anyways, notes, feedback, and constructive criticism are welcomed and would be greatly appreciated!

Also, the readers gender/sex is never explicitly specified but I wrote them with a female in mind so take that as you will. And also, the Doctor was written as the tenth one in mind, but there's also nothing really specifically acknowledging that so it could be read as any of the Doctors except for maybe the 13 since he does have male anatomy.

It had been a rather lazy day in the TARDIS, for once. She had needed a little bit of refueling and thankfully the doctor had found a barren star system that was harnessing just enough energy to get the job done. He had even been extra careful to make sure that there weren't any other living beings, apart from the two of you, for lightyears, feeling the two of you deserved to have some down time for just yourselves. From the comfort of the TARDIS, he had pointed out all the stars and planets you could see and told you about each of them: their names, their moons, the species that lived there, and what they were like. Later on, he had even gone as far as to surprise you with a bottle of wine he had picked up during your last visit to Earth. 

It hadn’t taken long for the talking to turn into one of your usual lazy, comforting make outs. The wine had begun to make everything feel lighter and airier as it usually did, and even though you and the Doctor weren’t particularly shy about your mutual feelings, you were still trying to work out just exactly what those feelings may mean for your relationship, making moments like these few and far between. At some point, the two of you had worked your way onto the small couch that had been placed in the common room of the TARDIS, hardly big enough for the both of you. He gently laid you on your back, never once breaking the kiss as he climbed on top of you. Laying down now, it was beginning to teeter on the edge of something more passionate. Something more rough, even. Uncharted territory between the two of you. Breaking away from the kiss for only a moment to catch a glimpse of your face, unsure of his next move, he went back in, this time, slipping his tongue slightly out, asking for permission. Slowly, you began to open your mouth, just wide enough to grant him the entrance he was asking for. 

It was slow again at first, gentle as he gave both you and himself time to adjust to the new found intimacy of the situation, giving you a chance to stop him from going any further if you so chose to, only you didn’t. Quicker than he had before, he deepened the intensity of the kiss, forcing himself into your mouth. With that, his hands began to roam. Having just been cupping your face, they began to drop down your body, moving past your neck before leaving your body completely only to find themselves pressed against your lower back, pushing your torso up into his own body. As the heat in your bodies grew, and the wine continued to course through your blood, you couldn’t help but fight the urge to start slowly rolling your hips upward, connecting with his own. He responded with nothing more than a few soft groans, so quiet they were nearly whispers. At the sudden change of pace, his lips finally broke from yours as he started moving down your body, placing kisses down your jawline and neck, agonizingly slow, taking time to lick and suck on your skin with each one before moving on to the next spot. Eventually, he found a spot at the base of your neck, in the crevice between where it met your clavicle. He lingered there, sucking a bruise on your skin as you continued to grind up against him. 

Feeling satisfied with the small mark beginning to come to life at the bottom of your neck, he effortlessly, and swiftly lifted you up off the couch. He settled himself in, sitting down where you had just laid before setting you down on his lap, giving you a moment to adjust yourself, satisfied as you finally settled, straddling him now. His mouth met yours once more, this time leaving no time to work back up to the heavy pace as he had before. His hands rested on your hips, which now sat still and obedient, waiting for him to determine whether or not the night would go any further than it already had. After a moment, his hands began to run down to your thighs, gently caressing them, before making sure you were comfortable and tightening his grip on you once more. You could feel only hints of his erection through his pants, sitting too far back to feel it in its full size, and you began to throb as the intimacy of the moment truly sank in for the first time. 

His hands made their way back up towards your hips, only this time, he brought them in between your two bodies, resting them right above the button of your jeans. 

“May I?” he asked gently. You nodded, signaling your approval, dazed look in your eyes as you tried to comprehend what was about to happen. His hands made work of the button and zipper, undoing them in just a few seconds. 

“Can you stand up for me, darling?” he questioned, sounding a bit more confident than he had when he asked the previous query. You wordlessly lifted yourself off of his lap, standing up in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. He cautiously sat up, reaching out to grab the waist of your jeans before slowly pulling them down, giving you a chance to step out of them. Once more he reached out to you, grabbing your hands this time, and guiding you towards him as he sat further back into the couch, spreading his legs even wider. You allowed him to guide you, placing his left leg between both of yours, realizing what he was asking. You sank back onto him, this time, only the thin layers of your pants and his trousers separating you. When you had made yourself comfortable once more, he placed his hands back on your hips.

“Is this okay?” he breathily asked, this time looking directly into your eyes, holding your attention for a moment as he studied your expression. You nodded your confirmation once more, not trusting your own voice to be able to carry the words out in the moment. 

His grip tightened, and he slowly began guiding you, helping you rock back and forth against him, trying to get familiar with the new sensation before working your ways towards finding a steady rhythm that worked for you. Gently, you pulled yourself forwards and back, slightly up and down, hands gripping onto his shoulders for support. Your head hung low, eyes shut, half because you weren’t quite sure you’d know where to look if they were open and half out of the pleasure beginning to rise in your lower abdomen. When you were fully acclimated to the new motion, you began to find a rhythm, still slow but a bit more rough and sure. Your breathing picked up as the Doctor, who had felt the change of rhythm, shifted the pace of his hands on your hips to match the one you had set for yourself. He looked down at you through his hooded eyelids, trying to get a look at your face, but not quite seeing as much of it as he would have liked, your head still hanging low. Eyes opened slightly now, you could see his dick slightly twitching in his trousers every now and then, the sight of it deeping your arousal and need. 

You quickened your pace once more, this time, allowing soft moans to start escaping your lips, the sound of it sending the doctor into a frenzy of his own. His grip was now relentless as he took control over you, forcing you into a tempo of his own volition, rocking you back and forth, pushing you down onto his thigh. The newly added pressure only making your pleasure grow, earned him even louder moans, as you worked a wet spot through your pants and onto his trousers. 

Head thrown back in pleasure, and your moans getting louder you announced your coming orgasm, only making him speed up the pace, knowing he would follow soon after just from the pleasure of watching you get off on his lap. As the speed increased, so did your pleasure, and in moments, your orgasm was crashing through you as he continued to roll your hips and force you down onto his leg, letting you ride out the orgasm as he began to allow his own to set in. Relentlessly, he forced your hips into a fast and steady pace until he was sure you were coming back down from the wave of pleasure. 

Fucked out and out of breath, you allowed yourself to fall forward, head resting on his shoulder and borrowed into the crook of his neck. His hands let go of your hips, rubbing small and gentle circles into them, massaging out the tenderness his grip would be leaving behind before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you off of one leg and settling you onto both, in a more comfortable position, drawing you closer to him.

[quinloki]

You know I've seen two yanderes sharing someone before but I don't think I've ever really seen someone write a yandere with multiple victims. Untapped potential if you ask me. Also puts you in the position of being weaker than both parties, even if one of them is on your side. Marco has the strength and stamina to take what Shanks doles out in the bedroom, but you... don't. Unfortunately, Shanks is really into your overstimulated cries and fucked-out expression as he urges Marco to keep rutting into you or worse, doing it himself. Marco grits his teeth and offers himself up, hoping to give you a break, a deal your shared captor begins taking full advantage of. Also Shanks being a total voyeur when it's you and Marco... both before you know what's going on, when Marco is allowed to visit you and after your taken. On rare occasions Shanks will just have you two... entertain him.

Gods the ideas that just flooded me.

Cw: yandere, mind break, implied double penetration, yandere, etc etc. - themes are pretty set for this little impromptu series at this point, mdni

When the veil is pulled back and you’re completely aware of the truth of things, you accept it for your sake and Marco’s. Sex is sex and love is love and you can hand over your body for sex, even if it’s not ideal, as long as Marco’s by your side.

But as Marco fears, Shanks’ desires toward you shift from merely seeing you as a means of control, to something he wants. Maybe even more than that - cause Shanks knows that Marco gave in because of you. If you give into Shanks in the same way than it just deepens everyone’s bonds as far as he’s concerned.

Loving you is loving Marco, and vice versus.

He separates you both again, explaining to you that he’s fallen for you, and his heart - his tender loving caring heart - needs you to return that love. He won’t threaten Marco for it, his love for the Phoenix won’t be changed by your answer, but you -

You won’t touch Marco or know release until you confess your love for Shanks.

At first you won’t give in - you love Marco and no one else, and Shanks’ feelings won’t change that. But then you start to learn how his observation haki works, and every time you try to sneak to Marco, every time you try to relieve any need that builds in you, he catches you every time.

Not even a week later he starts adding pressure. You don’t eat unless Shanks feeds you himself. You don’t sleep unless it’s in his bed. He cleans you too, and then one night you’re blindfolded, and he begins to tease you.

He works you to an unbelievable edge and stops. Again, again, and again. You’re exhausted and there’s no relief in sight. If you’re honest, if you confess your love for him, he’ll grant you release.

It continues until you pass out.

Repeats the next day.

The day after.

You have no idea that Beckman and Marco are both in the room. Marco to bear witness directly, Beckman to keep him controlled and quiet.

You’re either asleep, or being teased. Exhaustion sinks beyond the depth of your bones and starts to crack your will. You don’t know what day it is, how long this has gone on, but you feel that hand against your thigh and sob.

“Please, I love you, please.” You blubber the words, and the hand shifts from teasing to soothing, warming your skin.

“See? I knew you did.” He coos, body warm against yours. “And Marco?”

You’re quiet for a moment, unsure of the “right” answer, and so resign yourself to whatever fate the truth holds. “I love him, too.”

“Of course you do, that’s how it should be.” He praises you quietly and you feel yourself getting moved around. The bed creaks before you get near it and extra hands lift you and move you to straddle someone.

Someone’s at your back and the blindfold is pulled away. Your eyes focus on Marco beneath you as Beckman pulls the gag from his mouth. He gives you a warm smile, even though he looks almost as exhausted as you.

“You did good, pretty bird, it’s okay.

“I love you.” They say it at the same time. They do both love you, and they’re going to prove it as Shanks guides both of them into you.

Whew, yeah, but I imagine it’s a mess of rotating who’s watching, and it nearly breaks you to realize that watching Shanks take Marco is incredibly hot. Letting Shanks lead things, following his desires, makes everything so much easier that it almost seems silly to fight it.

As you descend into acquiescence Marco follows you. Shanks couldn’t have hoped to break him in 100 lifetimes, but Marco will follow you to pandemonium and beyond. If you find comfort in submission he will too.

[ghostoffuturespast]

Works In Progress 2023: A Cyberpunk 2077 Year In Review

I thought for a hot minute about doing one of those snazzy templates that’s been going around, but editing photos just ain’t my MO and rather than going by month I picked 12 favs that I’ve posted in 2023. Some of them were popular, some of them weren't. Overall, I think I did pretty good for just doing vanilla photomode on console.

You might be wondering why there's a picture of a sticky note. I don't remember when I started doing this, and I'm horribly inconsistent as you can see by the dates, but I'll jot down my word count for my wip chapter and then jot it down again when I remember to later.

I write slow. A lot of times I sit down to write and it feels like the wheels are spinning in place. My minutes and hours don't stretch very far, typically don't add up to much. But days, weeks, months. That's when I can at least measure the progress.

Fic: So It Goes 40/44 - 438,946 words

My V x River Ward and tinfoil hat conspiracy theory long fic. I've spent way more hours on this then I have on any of my VP.

I got tagged by @just-a-cybercroissant @therealnightcity and @wanderingaldecaldo to do some WIP Whenevers. I post my VP pretty regularly, so it’s always seemed silly to do work in progress posts for them, and I don’t know when I’ll have any new writing to share since in between work and the holidays, I haven’t had much time to sit down with anything since my last chapter update. And I've been feeling very... stingy, lately. Especially when it comes to mine and other people's writing. So take this WIP/Year In Review as my offering. Both these series, as am I, are all very much still works in progress. 

I confined my reflections for this year below the cut. If you don’t want to read my long-ass essays, you can admire the pictures, maybe check out my fic, or just move along and have yourself a lovely day.

We’ll start with the easy one.

VP

After at least a year of multiple playthroughs (I’ve played all the lifepaths, done all the endings), it only occurred to me at the beginning of this year to start taking VP. Part of the reason I never did before was because I didn’t realize it was a thing and then by the time I did, I figured I didn’t have much to offer. I play on PS5 and only have access to vanilla photomode, so seeing everyone else’s high-fidelity, ultra ray-tracing, modded, posed, full on virtual photo shoot photos, I was like there’s no way. (Not that I’m hating on PC modders, it’s just not everyone has access to mods or a PC capable of running the game, and I’m all for making art and creative endeavors accessible.) On top of that, all I’d ever heard from most other folks was how much vanilla photomode sucked. In the glamorous world of VP, I didn’t think there was any room for me.

But I started snapping pics anyway. And sure, there are a lot of limitations with vanilla photomode. But what that really translates to is opportunities to get creative. I am also a hoe for subverting people’s expectations, and very much believe when there’s a will, there’s a way.

Environmental and landscape shots were my first subjects before I started branching out into portraits and then capturing story moments. Through VP I found an entirely new way to enjoy a game that I’d already played a ridiculous number of times along with also finally being brave enough to share my V with other people too. I’d always worried about that before, if people would like her. Granted, I know Grandpa’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but whether you like her or not, I certainly think she’s made a name for herself over the past few months. Even if most people haven’t really gotten to know her the way I’d hoped. 

I’ve taken hundreds of photos this past year. Most of which I’ll never share. There’s a lot of flops, a lot of weird experiments, ones that didn’t quite turn out the way I’d hoped, but I’ve learned something from every single one of them. I know how to spot good lighting, frame shots to create optical illusions, get a very limited toolkit to work in my favor, parkoured on all of the things, and heck, I even figured out how to make Grandpa smooch other NPCs. I’ve done atmospheric, mundane, down right goofy, as well as things that most people probably thought weren’t fucking possible.

I can’t say how long I’ll keep doing this, I’m sure I’ll move on at some point, but for now I’m still enjoying myself. There's a lot to explore in this game and I just can’t stop digging Night City.

Now, for the more complicated thing.

Writing

So It Goes… My peace, my war, my greedy and most ravenous of ghosts.

I’m operating under the assumption that most people following me here probably haven't read my fic or aren’t all that interested in reading it to begin with. It’s fine. But you need to understand this fic, my writing, is the main thing that brought me here. This is also Grandpa V’s story. Most of you have met her, but unless you've been reading, most of you do not know her.

I wrote around 185,000 words and posted 10 chapters this year. 2022 was about 253,000 words and 30 chapters, along with several unrelated one shots. However, I don’t think I’ve done a single chapter this year that was less then 10k, and my longest managed to hit 27k. As of the last update I posted, the fic is currently sitting at around 439k words, 40 chapters, and still isn’t done.

I have four more chapters to write. I have written a metric shit ton of words. This is, by far, the longest and most intense creative project I’ve ever endeavored to complete.

When I started writing, I was expecting this fic to be around 100-150k. That seemed to be the average for most long fics. I did not plan on being an outlier. I'm not sure you can ever really plan for that, but I guess I enjoy subverting my own expectations too.

For those of you who are reading my fic, it is my sincerest hope that it shatters every expectation of where you think it’s going. It’s not a joke that I tagged my fic “#an ode to my tinfoil hat”. An ode it has turned out to be. I’ve been sitting on this theory for two years. I have told no one about it. I hope it sticks the landing and hits the way I want it to. I don't know if it will. But fuck, I just want to be done with it so I can move on with my life, take a break, and give myself the opportunity to make and focus on other things before I have to get back on the damn horse.

I wrote less this past year then I did in 2022. I had a lot of life changes, most of which were good, but with times of change come times of adjustment. Along with some realizations that maybe you don’t understand as much as you thought you did. Looking back, I’ve been in a state of unsettled, kuzushi, for a really long time. Which is not a good place to be. It’s how your ass ends up on the ground with a knee knocking out all your teeth. I thought I knew better. Thought I had enough practice to get away from it. But bad habits have good memories.

I think given the circumstances, I accomplished a lot with my writing this year. I don’t know if my writing is exactly where I want it to be. I doubt it every will be, but it’s evolved, grown, and I wrote a pretty hefty stack of words considering I started working full-time again, bought a house with my partner, moved, and have been dealing with the millions of other beans that life tends to throw one’s way. That being said, and for full disclosure, I’ve also been dealing with some of the worst cases of jealousy and envy I’ve had since I was a teenager. 

Frankly, it sucks. They walk with me every fucking where I go, hold my hands to whisper back all my doubts. Try to persuade me to my baser instincts, to be cruel and lash out. But that's not aikido. Luckily, I’m not 16 anymore so it’s at least been easier for me to identify the problem. Though I’m still coming up short in terms of actually being able to do anything about it, and will be for at least a few months more. 

Yeah, I keep talking about it because I don’t know how many people know that I've been feeling this way. And I’m tired of not talking about it in a room full of creatives, because yeah, I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. And not talking about it just makes all that pent up resentment worse for everyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing. But with the way I work and think, it’s a slow, tedious, and incredibly time-consuming art. With how much my fic has snowballed over the course of writing, it’s left very little room for the other hobbies in my life. And as my fellow writers probably already know, writing is an incredibly insular craft. And unlike a picture or an image, which only requires a glance, reading a bunch of words requires time and commitment.

So, when you put yourself out there and share what you wrote, it’s a lonely feeling not knowing whether or not anyone connected with what you put on the page. Especially, when the people who do read aren’t compelled to voice anything and when the people you’d hope would read don’t. And then you're stuck in the dark, not knowing, because neither of us says a goddamn thing.

I started writing this fic prior to actually joining the CP2077 fandom. And I joined the fandom because I felt alone. I’ve been here a while now, albeit in a few different places, and that feeling still hasn’t gone away. I’m still trying to find camaraderie with my fellow writers and carve out something that kinda sort of resembles a home or a sense of community. I watch my peers around me as they seem to build that with each other, except me.

I’m envious of the things that people make and jealous of the relationships those have created and fostered between said people, because for the life of me, it’s been a struggle to cultivate that since I got here. I know it’s selfish, but I also don’t know what about me makes people so hesitant. There have been a handful of strangers that have shown up for me regularly, but as far as people I call friends in this fandom that have shown up and actually stuck around, I can only name one right now. (I know we're all busy. And I acknowledge my writing's not for everyone. I know maybe some of you are quiet, or shy, or probably a thousand other things. I get it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less. People will never know unless you say. Never know unless you take the time to interact or engage. Be brave. And that's true for a lot of things.)

The propensity is for the negative to outweigh the positive. I've got a lot of numbers on my fic, so you would think things would be fine, but at this point they just feel empty. They don't bring me any comfort or real satisfaction. And I hate feeling like the people I know don’t care and that most of you are just talking around me. That I’m some kind of annoyance not fit to interact with. Which may or may not be the case. I don’t know. Again, most of you have never said anything. And maybe I need to accept the fact that most of you never will.

But this is me trying to start conversation.

It’s really shitty, knowing that the thing I want the most is also the thing holding me back. I know how to work on it too, not that it’s any guarantee. The problem is I’m still writing and in a needy state of greed. And because I’m slow, I don’t have the time or the energy to be generous. I can only take right now. I can’t give. 

Relationships require both.

I can’t bring myself to read other people’s writing. I can’t comment, or like, or share if I haven’t read anything. I'm desperate for conversation, but I also don't have the time or assurance to facilitate it with other people right now. And for some reason people never seem to want to talk to me, especially when it comes to writing. I want to be part of conversations, talk deeply with other people. But I can’t speak right now, I'm not in a place to offer generosity without someone first giving it to me.

And generosity and grace is what we all need.

Four more chapters and I hope my ghosts will finally let me read in peace.