#just don't fucking text okay
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i don't have coherent thoughts about it much less words but god just. kristen applebees realizes she's being attacked from within by kalina, and what does she do? her girlfriend just disappeared, she and riz are on their own, they haven't found the last ingredient they need to make the tincture to heal the shadow cat plague, and said plague is now manifesting enough to kill kristen from the inside, and kristen...doesn't save herself. she casts her one greater restoration on riz. she trusts her friend. kristen "crisis of faith" applebees, who spends the entire first half of high school with no idea what she believes in, finds herself dying from an unseen assailant and chooses, without a second's hesitation, to put her faith - and her life - in the hands of her friends. because sure, kristen may be a devout young woman, but she knows better than most that gods are just people with tremendous power. and you know what? her friends are people with tremendous power, too. and they care about her without exception, without doubt. so when the chips are down, kristen believes in her friends. not knowing how they'll come through, but always knowing that they will.
#just don't fucking text okay#kristen applebees#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#kristen casting greater restoration on riz KNOWING she can only cast it once and in all likelihood won't have the chance to long rest-#-before the shadow cat fucking kills her from within. and just doing it anyway. just putting blind faith in riz and in her friends. i#i just#dimension 20#d20#dropout#ally beardsley#stuff#fantasy high meta#everyone look away im blogging emotionally#i havent even watched junior year yet so i need nobody to say any spoilers okay#i just needed to get this out
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its been a while since i did lestappen text posts so here you go
all other parts here
#my pinterest got fucked up making these lmao#who am i kidding it was already fucked up#anyways checo being steve is very funny i will miss him being the designated lestappen 3rd wheel#shameless tagging from here on so look away now#look away#i said look away#omg you just dont litsen do you#im gonna count to 3#and then you look away#1#2#2.5#3#okay keep looking but don't say i didn't warn you its literally just tags its not that serious#lestappen#f1 text posts#im in your walls#max verstappen#charles leclerc#jk jk im in your floors#f1 memes#formula 1#okay fine im under your bed#f1 incorrect quotes#formula one#jk jk but dont look at your ceiling#f1 incorrect posts#f1#nah youre good im nowhere near you lol don't worry..your neighbours keep their windows very clean tell them that next time you meet them:P
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I'm kind of obsessed with Blackwall's idealized ideas about the Wardens. He was once picked up by a Warden and lulled by the promise of atoning for his crimes and turning his life around, only for that opportunity to slip away when the Warden not only saved him, but sacrificed his own life to do it. This whole experience makes our Blackwall become a Warden in heart, if not in blood, but with his own ideas of what a Grey Warden should be - noble, brave, inspiring, heroic, self-sacrificial. Everything he now wants to embody. He knows well that he's not there, but he wants nothing more than to start from scratch and be that.
In his beliefs, he reminds me a bit of Wynne in Origins who tells the Warden at some point that the Grey Wardens are supposed to be more than killing machines and weapons against the blight.
“There’s more to being a Grey Warden than killing darkspawn and saving the world from the Blight. Ultimately, being a Grey Warden is about serving others, about serving all people, whether elves or dwarves or men. As a Grey Warden, you are a guardian of men. And you guard them because their continued existence is more important than you are.”
However, we know that's not exactly how it works. That's what they want the Wardens to be. The light against darkness. The shield against monsters.
Although it's not entirely wrong, either, I suppose, all things considered. The more darkspawn they obliterate and push back, the more people are protected from them. Of course, sacrificing their lives to fight literal monsters, which means those same monsters don't eat everybody's kids, ultimately is heroic, and it's something that must have been born out of the need to protect the world and its inhabitants (from the Blight). But to have idealized opinions of the Wardens to this degree, you have to ignore all the other shady stuff and the mentality we, as players, also know the Wardens for. The fact that the Wardens are primarily weapons to slay darkspawn, prevent and end Blights, by any means necessary. The last part is important. After all, they are the Grey Wardens, not the White Wardens. They recruit from all walks of life and are famous for taking in criminals. Not to redeem themselves and get a second chance at life, but because they usually have nowhere to go and nothing left to lose. It's not a coincidence that each of the Origins gets chosen by Duncan, not only because he sees them as capable, but also because they are in a situation they can't escape from. Either they join the Wardens, or they're done for.
We know the Wardens from a few games now, but does the public in the setting even know? Does the average person have any idea how far the Wardens are willing to go? Besides grand stories of slaying monsters in the dark and preventing the end of the world? Probably not. The order is very secretive. And it explains a lot. The Wardens end up sounding almost romantic, when being a Warden is anything but. Is it ignorance talking out of these characters? Perhaps.
It once again shows us this aspect of Dragon Age where you can't take everything a character says as a fact, because the setting is full of people who have no idea what they're talking about, but who are absolutely convinced that they do.
And yet, I can't help but also like Wynne's and Blackwall's romantic ideas about what the Wardens are or should be, almost knights in shining armour and all that. They're fairy tales, but they're beautiful fairy tales. And I can't fault the characters for wanting to believe it or even live it. Especially in case of Blackwall, who sees it as a way to make up for the crimes he committed, somewhat. In the end, this might actually be a bigger draw to join the Wardens than, "Got nowhere to go? Come suffer horribly and probably die gruesomely with us!" It all sounds great on paper, though. I can't fault Davrin for trying to find purpose in life by becoming a monster hunter, either.
And maybe a little bit of idealism doesn't hurt. Not only it's good motivation, but in the end, doing things by "any means necessary" doesn't always pay off, either. It led the Wardens into all kinds of trouble, like getting tricked into employing dangerous forms of blood magic and demon summoning, basically into doing their enemy's work for them. In their determination to win at any cost, they helped trigger a cataclysmic event. Maybe having some principles isn't so bad after all.
In the end, I can appreciate that we get to see the clash of the old and new blood in Veilguard, where there's hope for the order to transform into an organization that's less secretive, less exclusive, and hopefully less prone to letting corruption spread through its ranks and make other devastating mistakes. Duncan once said that letting people join the Wardens isn't an "act of charity", and I like how Evka and Antoine go, "Yeah, you know what? Fuck that." And that likely inspires more loyalty. I imagine Blackwall would like that.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: Inquisition#DAI#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Blackwall#Thom Rainier#don't mind me#just a stream of consciousness that got out of hand#classic case of ''I want to write a paragraph about this aspect of a character that I find interesting''#''okay a few paragraphs''#''let's include a quote that is relevant''#''okay maybe several paragraphs''#(goes on a tangent)#''what's even the point of this post any more?''#''fuck''#at least it didn't end up like that recent Lucanis text post of mine haha#anyway#the Grey Wardens have always been one of my favourite factions#if not my absolute favourite#I both like their messiness but also that they're not portrayed as a monolith#and I like how some characters have very strong feelings about them and the stark difference between myth and reality#hell I didn't even include Alistair because the post is long enough as it is#either way I'm glad we get to play them again in Veilguard
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Anyway I'm meeting up with a woman six years older than me for coffee tomorrow and holy fuck I hope I don't drool all over myself when I see her 😭 age gaps destroy my brain I can't do this...
#we're gonna see if there's any chemistry and maybe fuck about it#she's already texted me that she's giving me open consent to touch her however i want but like#I'M A PUSSY. I AM ANXIOUS.#like she said she's okay with taking the lead but I don't want her to feel like she has to!!!!#I just gotta get courageous n shit#my posts
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sometimes. what i like to read or write in fic or just generally play around with.... is different and, dare i say, sometimes even contradicting to what i think the canonical reading is offering. like yeah he would not fucking say that but every once in a while i do like to indulge. sue me
#*mine#mona rambles#people do be taking things so seriously these days like#sometimes i just wanna see a silly lil oneshot where the blorbo du jour Fucks Shit Up and go#idk where this weird idea comes from to assume everything i ever write down in a fic or in some rambly headcanon post is like#equivalent to saying 'i think this is what the text says' like???#the text says they had wives and are straight and don't fuck their brothers too like. come on now#and i don't mean this in a dismissal of/disdain for canon sort of way either#i hate the whole 'fuck canon i know better' attitude that's not what i'm talking about#i mean this more in a. not every oneshot i write is a 'this is a meta-analysis of textual realities'#and more a 'okay this absolutely isn't canon but what if it WERE#let's explore'#sometimes you just gotta pat canon on the head tell it i love you and i know this isn't you but I'm going to anyway <3#peace and love. etc etc#god i know people will so wildly misinterpret this as a 'she doesn't even care about canon then what is even the point 🙄'#or a 'YEAH FUCK CANON I KNOW BETTER 😤' kind of way i'm already tired#to the three people who'll get it ily tho <3#i do think the crux is the awareness yk. like. knowing deviation or smthg. anyway#bisexuality. love wins <3
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I went to the museum yesterday (plain sketch under the cut)
#unlabelled drawing tag#yakuza#rgg#kazuma kiryu#haruka sawamura#this looks. so saturated on mobile jesus christ#i can't be bothered fixing it it looks okay on pc#i kind of don't like the coloured version but i spent to long to just put it under the cut. who cares#this kind of looks whatever idk if it's because this is kind of different from my usual art#or if because i haven't drawn a lot of these two#or both#anyway not a huge fan of this but fuck it we ball#not based on any specific museum but i think i subconsciously based it on the museums i've been to#this whole thing is based on a discord message i sent yesterday#id in alt text#4koma
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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the stoneforged are my non-ableist replacement for "dwarves" (see here and here, i think bbc merlin has its own issue of ableism regarding characters with dwarfism) as a species in mythology. they are technically a type of elf (think lightforged = high elves, shadowforged = dark elves, minus the racism associated with the drow's writing)
hopefully, soon i'll have found the time to draw out my designs for some of the species prominent in albion, and i can reblog this post and add my personal designs for these species. keep in mind that i'll still have characters with dwarfism in this story! i don't think the solution to ableism is to erase the characters with dwarfism entirely (cough cough, disney's snow white), instead i've just been Normaler about it.
#honestly all of arthurian mythology has an ableism problem because sometimes it's really unclear if they mean fantasy dwarf or person with#dwarfism and either way it tends to he pretty fucking ableist!#a better source for the issue with disney's snow white remake would have been this one tiktoker with dwarfism who has a series unpacking#ableism targeted toward people with dwarfism but i couldn't find his videos!#<- i actually don't know if the consensus among the community of people with dwarfism prefers person first language that has kind of just#been pure instinct. not a concious choice. i know this creator said either way of referring to little people works but idk#okay anyway. context for this post is that this blog is dedicated to my heavily arthurian inspired bbc merlin rewrite. this world in genera#has all source of fantasy creatures and species but i haven't fleshed out all of them yet#once and future; a bbc merlin rewrite#my posts#text posts#ableism#dwarfism#genuinely idk how to properly tag this i feel like people will get mad if i put it in other tags#well. this project is rooted in arthuriana and bbc merlin and that's what i'm criticizing so. i guess just the usual tags? sorry guys#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#adventures of merlin#arthuriana#arthurian legend#arthurian mythology#dnd#dungeons and dragons#<- for the drow mention
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IF 👏 YOU 👏 DIDN'T 👏 READ 👏 THE 👏 FOOTNOTES 👏 YOU 👏 HAVEN'T 👏 READ 👏 HOUSE 👏 OF 👏 LEAVES 👏 (you have read The Navidson Record)
#niche hill perhaps but i will die on it#occasionally i see someone saying otherwise and i become absolutely incensed but then i remember they haven't even fucking read the book#like yeah I'm sorry half the book is in footnotes that's simply how it's formatted#the footnotes are the SOUL of the book they are literally WHY YOU SHOULD CARE#house of leaves =!= the navidson record house of leaves is ABOUT the navidson record and how it affected JOHNNY THE PROTAGONIST OF THE BOOK#i've thought about it and it's more respectable (and you'd come closer to reading the book) to skip the 'main text'#and ONLY read the 'footnotes'#not saying you should do that#but if you're only going to read half of it that is the more important half#lavender thoughts#house of leaves#it's okay to only read the navidson record just don't say you've read house of leaves#HOUSE OF LEAVES is a story about a guy going insane while reading a horror story you're just also privy to the horror story in question#this is so you can truly experience going insane with him and not because it is particularly important in its own right#it's good sure#but it's just a horror story after all#hol
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hearing someone asking you casually but in a truly genuine way as well if you are okay is honestly heartbreaking
#i was about to cry it is so soo insane to think how much it means to someone to ask them if they're okay#the dude truly fucking FELT it. it was so sincere and it's beyond words to describe how much we all more or less crave such connections and#small intimacies and to feel seen. even for a bit even in that casual/not so casual way#even if it is from the 50+ guy who just delivers your coffee at work. i love you and I don't even know your name#text
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I honestly don't really believe that Swansea attacked Jimmy or I at least headcanon it's just Jimmy's delusions getting the better of him to justify why he killed him to be fully honest
Like you see the guy all tied up, and Swansea seemingly gave up right after he mercy killed Daisuke. So I find it hard to believe that he came in axe blazing
**edit typo in the tags 😔
#mouthwashing#headcanon#i just don't believe the narrative given by Jimmy lol#cuz even the key chain text changes when you okay as Jimbo#oh no theres a typo#i mean when you play as jimbo#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#fuck jimmy
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*gently takes your hands* hey hey, repeat after me:
there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous. there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous. there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous. there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous. there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous. there is no better or more righteous choice between treviso and minrathous.
#if i see one more post or video about this i'll fucking kill someone#THEY BOTH SUCK!!!! IT SUCKS!!! BOTH!!! WAYS!!!!#but it's okay if you like one choice more than the other!!!!#you don't need to prove anything!!!!#IT IS FUCKING OKAY#i'm going insane i swear#when i said there was nothing to fight about in this game i should have known the da fandom would invent something just cause#i should have known#random text post#veilguard related //#da:tv spoilers //
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭#partner posting
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I don't understand how we all agreed it was rude to assume someones gender and yet so many of you feel so comfortable calling strangers you know nothing about "eggs"
#text#not to mention the term egg is incredibly infantilizing#it's like you assume someone isn't smart enough to know themselves better than your limited narrow idea of them and their life#it's incredibly rude and im so shocked ppl thought it was okay to just throw around like it is#like idk i think it's rude to claim you know someones identity better than they do!#I dont think it should be your business if that person is possibly trans or not! it doesn't matter until they decide it does!#like don't be fucking weird!!!#like some of you are bordering on “transvestigation”
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somethings been on my mind for the past week or so: Dynablades chicks. Or more specifically, the fact that in order to have chicks, Dynablade would need a mate. A mate that is notably absent. Now, hal probably didn't think about this, but I've decided to scrutinize that fact anyways, and the possibilties I've come up with to explain this are as follows:
Mate's a deadbeat/just dead
With the species of giant bird Dynablade is, the male isn't involved with raising the chicks(unlikely)
Mate's on a different planet, and only visits when there aren't lore important events happening
It's Coo
#okay that last one was mostly a joke#but fr though where the fuck is her mate#can Dynablade just reproduce asexually or smth#can birds even do that#I don't think they can#anyways to whoever may find this#sorry for dumping this on you#dynablade#kirby#text post
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