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13uswntimagines · 2 days ago

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All In My Head (Alessia Russo X Singer!r)

Part III of the Safe Harbor Universe. Find other parts here

Summary: Being Sick on tour sucks, but that doesn't mean that you want your team to inform your girlfriend. She has her own career to think about. The problem is that honesty is rule number 1 in your relationship.

Warnings: there is mention of a D/s dynamic, but nothing is super explicit. Alessia is referred to as daddy.

Authors note: Yes the ending is a cliffhanger. But this has honestly been in my drafts since like August, so i wanted to put it out. I'm considering a Pt. 2, but it will depend on if people want it. I really hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think.

You sighed heavily, leaning against the stadium's cool stone wall and twisting the bracelet around your wrist.

Which stadium, you couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, really. They all looked the same after a while anyway, blurring together in the never-ending cycle of rehearsals, performances, interviews, and meet and greets.

All your life seemed to be was performing and promoting music you weren’t even excited about anymore. It was a nonstop grind filled with late nights and early mornings, with almost no time for your well-being.

You almost wished your girlfriend had implemented a rule that placed a limit on how much you could do. At least that would give you the power to say no.

You did your best.

You squeezed in as many phone calls with your girlfriend, Alessia as you could, but she had her own commitments with the Lionesses as they prepared to defend their European championship.

Most of the time you ended up passing out over FaceTime, and waking up to texts telling you she loved you.

You understood. You both had careers and obligations. You both had to make sacrifices to get to do the things you loved.

It was… intense, but for the most part, you enjoyed it. You loved playing for the fans. You would deal with all the promotional bs just so you could interact with the people who loved your music as much as possible.

They deserved that.

And this tour had been going far better than the ones you had been on before it. You were holding it all together far better than you had in the past.

Or it had been.

It all started with a slight tickle in your throat in the city before last. A whisper of huskiness that went away with a nice steam session and some tea.

It was easy to ignore in the beginning.

Then you played 4 shows back to back last weekend.

By the end of the 3rd show, you knew you were screwed, you could barely muster a horse whisper. Alessia had commented that you sounded like a chain smoker, your first sign that she was seeing through you, but you assured her you would be fine. You even joked that you had enough throat coat and grether's pastilles to turn her off for a year. She let you soothe her worries.

You pushed on, powered my menthol lozenges and Honey, and you made it through the 4th show.

It would have been fine. It shouldn’t have mattered that your ability to make any sound at all was hanging on by a thread. The 5 days off you had should have been enough to set everything right.

Except you didn’t have 5 days off.

It was filled with promotional performances for a new album and interviews about how well it would accompany the movie it was attached to. If someone else asked you about how it felt about the possibility of an Oscar nod, you were going to scream. Or rip all of your hair out or both.

The tickle had turned to hot nails, and nothing - not the steam machine or tea and honey - had the power to soothe it.

You sounded like you were talking through gravel, and your team had been hesitant to even let you go on tonight.

Alessia definitely would not have, if she knew how bad it really was. You started avoiding her two days ago after you couldn’t make it through a sentence without a crack, and you couldn’t continue to blame the low whistle that accompanied every one of your breaths on allergies.

You knew going in that performing tonight wasn’t a great idea, but you refused to let the fans down. There were only 4 shows left. Surely you could make it.

The entire show felt like a battle.

You had to fight for every note. For every breath.

Your lungs felt like they were on fire and your throat was raw before you even got to the piano set.

It took everything in you to hide the thinness in your voice. To prevent every sound from cracking as you forced each lyric out.

It was…rough to say the least.

But you made it- even if it was only by the skin of your teeth.

You were shot by the time you did your final bow and disappeared backstage. You ignored the cold Gatorade being pressed into your palms, knowing it would only aggravate the glass shards in your throat, and shrugged off Steven and Clint.

You didn’t need their concern, you needed to escape the roaring in your ears. The pounding in your chest.

So you took turn after turn until you were in an abandoned section of hallways.

You sighed, grasping at your throat as you slid down the cool wall, pulling your knees to your chest and pressing your forehead into the rough material of your costume to drown out the pounding in your head. Your fingers tangled in the hair at the back of your head and you groaned.

The sound felt like hot coals in your throat, and it made your chest ache.

You feared that no amount of steam, or tea, or pastilles would stop it this time.

The cold bricks of the stadium felt nice against your skin, leaching the heat from your body, though it did nothing to help the fire in your chest.

A fire that was quickly moving past the gray areas in your agreement with Alessia, and into a place that your daddy would definitely have something to say about.

You were treating your limits with her like a tightrope, carefully toeing the edge. Except with the way you felt, you knew you were about to topple one way or the other.

You ignored the sounds of clicking shoes coming closer, hoping that whoever it was wouldn’t see you. That they would leave you be to pull the cracked pieces of yourself back together.

But your team knew better than to leave you to your own devices.

“Y/n?”

You tensed at the soft hand on your shoulders, and the sound of shifting clothing as someone settled on the ground beside you.

“You ok, kid?” Natasha asked softly, running soothing circles on the top of your shoulders.

You let out another breath before you pulled your face from its hiding spot, resting your chin on your knees. “I’m ok. Just wanted some quiet,”

You frowned at the horse whisper that left your lips, and the flair of pain that accompanied it.

Natasha hummed.

She had been part of your team from the beginning, back when you were a dumb 16-year-old, long before Pepper, Tony, Steve and the rest of the crew had joined, and she knew you nearly as well as Alessia did.

She raised an eyebrow at you. “Just some quiet?”

You knew that wasn’t what she was actually asking.

The question went much deeper.

She knew about your… dynamic with Alessia, and she had seen the striker take care of you in various ways. She was asking you what you needed.

You nodded, looking away from her, afraid that she would see through you.

“I needed a minute,” You said, your voice barely a squeak. “It was all too much, and I wanted to be alone before I got pulled into something else,”

She made a low sound at the familiar explanation. “And this has nothing to do with how you sound like you’re gargling rocks?”

You grimaced. “Nothing at all,”

She hummed. “So you’re not in any pain at all?”

“Nope,” You breathed out, the p the only clear part of the word.

“Y/n,” She sighed. “I know you have an… aversion to admitting when you’re not… at the top of your game, but pushing yourself isn’t going to help anything. You don’t have anything to prove here,”

You ran a hand through your hair and rolled your eyes dramatically at her. She chuckled at the action.

“There are only 3 more shows,” You said. “I can make it 3 more shows,”

“And how would Alessia feel if she knew you were going to put your comfort aside for 3 more shows?” Natasha asked softly. “And not just your comfort, your health. You sound like shit,”

You huffed at the mention of your girlfriend, your fingers instinctively finding the braided bracelet that never left your wrist.

You knew how she would feel. You could practically hear what she would say. I expect you to take care of the things that belong to me. I expect you to treat them with respect and give them the love and care they deserve.

“I’ve got it all under control,” You rasped, wincing at the action.

It was Natasha’s turn to roll her eyes. “Sure you do. Since you have it all under control, you’ll stop ignoring your girlfriend,” She pulled the device out of her back pocket and balanced it on top of your knees. “She’s been blowing up your phone all day. I think she’s worried,”

You stared at the phone, and as if on cue, it buzzed again with a new message.

Alessia was going to be furious with you, and your daddy would be on another level entirely.

She was usually the one to take the reigns when you were set on driving yourself into oblivion for the benefit of everyone else. But she wasn’t here.

You sighed heavily.

You knew that if you told her, she would drop everything. She would move heaven and earth if that was what you needed.

You didn’t want that.

She needed to focus on her game, and that meant that you couldn’t be a distraction. You would not disappoint her. Not when you were so close to finishing.

“She needs to focus,” You mumbled, your voice straining. “She’s gotta impress Sarina to make the team. It’s important,”

“I think you forget that you are also important,” Natasha argued back softly, patting your back before carefully pushing herself to her feet. “I’m going to have Pepper cancel the meet and greet. You’re in no shape to meet fans. I should also have her call a doctor, but I already know you’ll fight me on it,”

You frowned. You never sold meet and greet tickets, choosing to instead have your team select fans at each show.

“But-“

She held up her hand before you could argue. “That isn’t up for debate. Get rest tonight, and we’ll assess tomorrow in the morning.”

Your jaw clenched, but you nodded, knowing there was no arguing with her.

“I know the world thinks you’re superhuman, but it’s ok not to be indestructible,” She said, softly. “You need to remember to be Clarke Kent sometimes too. There’s a reason Lois fell in love with him first,”

With that, she walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The silence of the empty hallway wasn’t as welcoming as it had been. It didn’t quiet your thoughts like it had.

Instead, it felt suffocating. Like the walls were closing in on you, trapping you in your misery.

You sighed another painful breath, before you grabbed your phone, reading the top notification, longing not to feel so…alone.

Hey babe, caught the end of your show on a random livestream. Are we still on for our FaceTime tonight?

You let your head fall back, thumping the wall.

Everything in you longed to say yes.

But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

It was still nice to fantasize about seeing her. About hearing her say ‘Hello my little one,’ with a soft smile that brought out her dimples. If you closed your eyes you could almost feel the pressure of her fingers on the back of your neck, running through the baby hairs that lived there. ‘I’m here, and I’ve got you,’

You let your mind linger there for a long second before you forced your eyes back open.

It took you three tries to type out your reply: sorry darling, I’m super tired. Rain check?

And you paused, your trembling finger over the send button, knowing you shouldn’t send it, but hitting the little blue arrow anyway.

It was awful but necessary.

You let out another long, ragged breath before you forced yourself to your feet and shoved your phone into your pocket, so you didn’t have to see her reply. You leaned heavily on the wall, no longer enjoying how it sucked the warmth from your skin, but using it to stay upright as the entire hallway tilted to the side.

You should go back to your dressing room before Steve sent out a search party. Dealing with Nat was one thing, dealing with the overprotective instincts of Steve, Clint, and Thor was another.

You didn’t have the mental capacity for that, and maybe your dressing room couldn’t make you feel like there was a rope on your lungs, dragging out your soul.

*****

You were not particular about a lot of things when you were on tour. You didn’t care about the size of your hotel room or the cars you were shuttled around in. You didn’t request overly expensive foods or special bubbly waters.

The only thing on your rider that you were very specific about was your dressing room.

It was your sanctuary away from the noise. A place you would spend more time in than your hotel room.

It was important to you that it was always the same. Lit with twinkling fairy lights, the comfy gray couch that followed you on every tour stop standing near the table with your kettle and vocal steamer, and a diffuser already filling the room with the soft scent of lavender and honey.

It filled your lungs the second you stepped through the door, wiping away the burning ache that accompanied every breath for just a second. Reminding you for one fleeting moment of the honeysuckle of Alessia’s favorite shampoo (the reason she picked the essential oil blend to begin with), before the knives returned to your chest.

You rubbed your knuckles over your sternum to quell the feeling, stumbling over to the couch and collapsing into it.

You pressed your nose into the soft gray material, wishing that you had grabbed the bright red sweatshirt you stole from your girlfriend when you last saw her. The smell of her perfume was beginning to fade, but it wasn’t gone yet, and there was a distinct longing in your stomach to be close to her. Even if you were the reason there was any space to begin with.

You could hear your kettle bubbling next to you, and you knew you should make yourself some tea to soothe the sharp edges in your windpipe, but the thought of moving felt like too much.

Instead, you sunk into the couch, your arm dangling off the cushion, your fingers brushing the ugly red carpet.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, and you didn’t have to look to know who was texting you. Still, the urge to see what she would say was too great for you to ignore it.

It took all of your strength to move your heavy arm to your pocket and pull out your phone. Your fingers fumbled over the screen as you squinted at the device with the eye not pressed into the couch.

The light made the throbbing in your head worse, and the words written on the screen made your lungs constrict.

Ok, my love. Are you sure everything is alright? This is the 3rd time this week.

You could almost hear the worry in her voice. See the suspicion in her blue eyes.

They never failed to see through you. To strip away your exterior and leave you vulnerable and raw beneath them. It never made you feel exposed, even in the beginning when the two of you decided to extend your dynamic beyond your bedroom. Instead, you felt seen and safe.

Sometimes she liked to have to work for your submission. She liked to peel away each layer of you one by one until you were a trembling mess beneath her. Open and vulnerable in a way no one else ever got to see you.

Other times, you gave your submission willingly, stripping off your public persona like a dirty shirt and allowing her to envelop you in her warm comfort.

How much you wanted that. How much you needed it.

It was a desperation that filled your entire being.

Before you could process what you were doing, you had already pressed her contact photo and brought the now-ringing phone to your ear.

You laid the device on the side of your head and let your arm go back to dangling. It was too heavy to hold.

It only rang twice before her voice filled your ears.

“Hey my love,” She said, worry and relief mingling strangely in her tone. “I’m so happy you called me. How are you?”

Her voice washed over you like a soothing wave, like a balm on the sharp edges of your nerves, though it did little to help the fire in your lungs and throat.

You pressed your nose into the couch, pretending that it was her shoulder for just a second. That the honey and lavender surrounding you was her perfume. That she was here.

“Y/n, are you there?” She asked, and you opened your mouth to respond, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

You couldn’t force any sound, beyond a low whistle past your inflamed throat. Your lungs crackled with each breath.

Your inability to make sound didn’t bother you as much as it should have.

“Y/n? Did you butt-dial me?” Alessia asked again, and you could almost feel her running her nails through your hair, gently scratching your scalp. “I’m worried,”

The words were said with too much force, not at all the soft murmur your brain had been waiting to hear.

It shook you out of your haze just enough for you to reach up and grab your phone, clicking the decline button too fast.

You let the phone drop to the floor with a low thump as it immediately began to ring again.

Your fingers twitched above the screen, but you didn’t have the strength to reach for it, even as it lit up again with your girlfriend's contact photo.

Well, it was a photo of the two of you. You were curled up in her lap, in one of her blue UNC sweatshirts that were too big, and she was kissing the side of your head.

It had been taken after a particularly grueling day in the studio. It was Alessia’s turn to host team bonding night. You didn’t remember exactly who took the picture, Leah or Lotte, maybe, but it was one of your favorites.

What the camera didn’t catch was that your arms were not in the sleeves. Instead, they were tied with intricate knots behind your back, hidden by the sweatshirt.

It was something the two of you often did, and it was one of her go-to's when you were starting to spiral out of control.

A part of you longed for the feeling of the knots now, and her fingers twisting the soft rope against your skin.

Sure, the weight of your bracelet was nice, but it wasn’t enough.

You let out a wheezing breath that crackled and hurt.

If you asked, she would be here. She would wrap you up and pull you from your free fall.

It took you a long second to remember why you couldn’t have that.

Alessia had a job to do, and you wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

The phone buzzed again against the ugly carpet, the little voicemail icon flashing. You doubted you would be able to resist calling her back if you listened to it.

Still, you had to do something.

So you flicked the screen with one finger, going to your messages, and typing out words that felt fake, even to you.

Sorry, I’m ok. Just tired. I’ll call you tomorrow after the game. Love you.

You clicked send before you could overthink it though, or your trembling fingers could betray you and type out the truth. You laid your head back down on the couch, curling into yourself as a painful cough forced its way past your lips.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, shivering before there was a soft knock at the door, and then the little click as it opened.

A part of your brain hoped that it would be Alessia. That she had read your mind and somehow teleported to whatever city you were in.

But the feeling of gentle fingers on the top of your shoulders told you that it wasn’t.

“Y/n?” Natasha asked, very close to your ear, and you blinked up at her.

You didn’t remember closing your eyes.

“Hm?” You hummed, the sound raw and painful.

“Let’s get you changed, and then we can go back to the hotel and you can sleep,” She said, placing a hand under your armpit and guiding you to a sitting position.

The tiny movement had coughs ripping past your lips.

She held you steady with one hand and grabbed you a change of clothes with the other.

“Easy,” She breathed out, carefully unbuttoning your shirt and pulling it from your sweaty skin.

She left you shirtless for a long second as she disappeared into your bathroom, and the cool air of the dressing room felt nice on your overheated skin.

It didn’t bother you. Natasha had seen you in far less clothing than your sports bra and underwear.

She returned only a moment later with a towel, using it to dry you off before she slipped a light blue t-shirt with a foot on the back over your head.

The pants took a little more wiggling, but eventually, she was able to get you out of your costume and into a pair of sweats that were far too big for you.

She slid a pair of Converse onto your feet, scooping up your phone and tucking it into her pocket.

“Let’s get you to the car,” She guided you to stand, keeping an arm wrapped tightly around you.

“People?” You asked, leaning more of your weight onto her as she pulled you towards the door.

You missed her eye roll.

Of course, all you were worried about right now was who would see you, and what they would think.

“Not here,” Natasha reassured you gently, opening the door. “Only when we get back to the hotel,”

You made a low, painful sound as she half-carried you into the hallway.

You still had time before you had to pull yourself together.

******

The city lights blurred into a distorted kaleidoscope of colors during the short ride back to the hotel.

The cool glass felt nice against your temple, though it did little to ease the throb in your head or the lava in your throat.

The feeling of eyes watching you for any wavering in your resolve also wouldn’t go away. You couldn’t be sure if it was worry (that you would puke all over the car or pass out), or concern about what the fans would think when you pulled up to the hotel.

The whirring of the engine wasn’t loud enough to block out your racing thoughts, but any music was too much for you to handle.

You were drowning.

Every breath hurt, but you didn’t know if it was because of the physical pain or the anxiety gnawing at you.

You didn’t like to upset people. You didn’t like to disappoint them.

You were a people pleaser to a fault, and this wasn’t the first time you had self-destructed to meet everyone’s expectations.

But at the end of the day, the person you wanted to please most. The person you wanted to not disappoint the most was Alessia. Was your Daddy.

You knew you were failing, but you didn’t know how to stop.

The car came to a stop in front of the hotel far too quickly, and not for the first time, you were thankful that the dark tint kept you hidden from public view.

“Ready, kid?” Steve asked, turning around in the driver's seat to look at you.

You nodded once, reaching forward and grabbing the sunglasses facing the wrong way on his head, and pulled them over your own eyes.

You took a deep breath before Clint opened your door, painting your signature smile across your features.

You didn’t wave when you got out, too focused on keeping yourself upright, as Steve’sarm wrapped around you on one side and Natasha’s did the same on the other.

You felt safe tucked between them, though they did nothing to shield you from shrill screams and cheers that met you as soon as your feet touched the ground. They amplified the pounding behind your eyes, and the way the crowd pressed around you made it even harder to breathe (not that you thought that was possible).

You did try to flash the crowd smiles as Natasha and Steve guided you through, Clint protecting your back, and you were thankful your eyes were hidden, despite it being nighttime.

You never wanted the fans to see the… fakeness. The lie.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when the hotel doors slid closed behind you, placing more of your weight on Steve as Natash called the elevator.

“You’re burning up kid,” Steve murmured, shifting to get a better grip around your waist.

You made a low sound, that turned into a full body caught that nearly had you doubling over. “Is that your way of calling me hot Stevie? What would Tony think?”

The words came out garbled, cracking with every syllable as you tried to talk through the coughs.

Steve’s arm tightened around you to keep you upright.

“I think he would say that you are sick,” Steve sighed at the mention of his husband, your publicist, taking more of your weight as another round of coughs wracked you.

You pushed off of him as soon as you could breathe again, even if it felt like sucking air through a straw filled with needles, and swayed your way toward the elevator.

It binged open as soon as you reached it, and you stumbled inside, gripping the metal bar on the back wall for support, and resting your forehead on the cool wall.

You could feel the heat of your skin leaching into the surface, but it did little to quell the pounding in your ears or the feeling like everything was tipping on its head.

Your fingers instinctively found the braided bracelet, running over the soft leather strands.

However, this time, it didn’t ease the bubbling anxiety and fire in your chest.

“We’re almost there, and then you can rest,” Natasha said softly, and you felt both her and Steve’s eyes on you as you leaned further into the wall.

The movement of the elevator was starting to make you nauseous, but you didn’t think you could voice that even if you wanted to. Not with how raw your throat was.

It took you a second to realize the elevator had stopped, and it wasn’t until Natasha gently touched your shoulder that you began to move again.

You let Steve guide you out of the elevator and into the hallway.

Natasha had the door to your suite open before you even got there, and Steve half-carried you to the bed, settling you on the fluffy white comforter.

Your fingers tangled in the expensive sheets as you fought to keep yourself upright.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Natasha asked you softly, kneeling in front of you and carefully undoing your sneakers.

You shook your head slowly, smothering another cough. “Sweatshirt,”

The croaky word hurt as it left your lips, barely audible and surrounded by more lung-crunching coughs.

But they understood, Steve, passing you a bright red sweatshirt from your bag.

You brought it to your face and collapsed back onto the bed, breathing in the perfume that clung to the material.

It burned as it filled your senses, but you could pretend that it soothed the edges of glass in your throat and lungs. You could pretend that it was her taking off your shoes and tucking you in.

You could pretend that it was all ok and that she wasn’t going to be livid when she found out. Not that you were sick, but that you hadn’t told her immediately.

You knew you would take whatever punishment she decided you deserved with no questions. She could be rather creative when she was annoyed with you.

“Let’s get you settled properly,” Natasha said, shifting you on the bed so your head was on the pillows, as Steve moved the covers and tucked them around you. “Rest now, and we’ll deal with the rest in the morning,”

You groaned, sending more flames down your airway, rolling over and pressing your face more firmly into the sweatshirt.

You heard the distinctive sound of your phone being plugged in, and the click of the door.

And then you were alone.

More alone than you had been in a very long time.

Even if it was all your own doing, you hadn’t been this disconnected since the beginning of Alessia’s college career, and your first tour with Taylor. The infamous break in your relationship. Even though neither of you had actually experimented with anyone else, and you had texted and called nonstop, you had been hesitant to push too far, to ask for too much.

You blew out a long breath into her sweatshirt, ignoring the little needles that followed the air, eyes fixed on the phone on your bedside.

It buzzed again as if it knew you were thinking about it.

You reached your hand out, pulling it close so you could look at it, but it was still plugged in.

The movement had the screen lighting up with a string of messages. The one at the top made your heart hurt.

Please don’t ignore me, my Little One. I’m worried.

It said, and you could almost hear the inflection in her tone. You could almost see her eyes softening, and feel her fingers brushing your hair behind your ear.

You closed your eyes, pressing more deeply into the sweatshirt under your head.

Your fantasy world was far nicer than the reality you were in, and the universe wouldn’t end if you stayed in it until morning.

********

Your night was… hazy, filled with half-dreams that were increasingly difficult to distinguish from real life. As the morning light crept its way further and further across the ceiling, you leaned into the sweatshirt slowly losing its smell, one eye peeking out to track its progress.

It felt like a timer. A countdown clock on the imagined feelings of soothing hands on your back and whispered reassurance that everything would be okay.

Soon enough the door would open and you would have to be you again. You would have to pretend like each breath you took didn’t feel like a bear was mauling your lungs, and your brain wasn’t a freight train threatening to escape from your skull.

You would have to deal with the incessant buzzing of your phone that had kept you on the edge of real sleep all night.

You would have to face your girlfriend. Your daddy.

You were not looking forward to it. Any of it.

The only thing that you were semi-excited about was watching your girlfriend play, even through a screen. That had been your only saving grace back when she was in college before the two of you got back together, and you knew it would be your only saving grace now.

You sighed, rolling over, the sweatshirt falling from its bunched-up place against your cheek, and reaching for the phone still on the corner of the bed next to you.

It buzzed again as your fingers caught it, and brought it closer so you could see the screen. It was filled with notifications.

Some were from the group thread you shared with your manager, assistant, and publicist. Some were emails from people you were collaborating with.

But the majority were from Alessia.

You couldn’t help but click on the thread.

You knew it was a mistake immediately.

Good morning little one. I’ll have some time if you want to FaceTime before the game. I miss you, and I’m worried. You don’t usually ignore me.

It was like an arrow straight through your heart.

A direct hit to your will.

You swallowed hard, ignoring how badly it burned, and typed out a message.

I miss you too. Good luck today. You’re going to do amazing

You dropped your phone after you hit send, deciding that finding the starting 11 wasn’t important anymore, and stared up at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes, pulling the comforter more tightly around you despite the sweat breaking out across your chest.

You thought it would help the hollow feeling slowly taking over your insides, or the dull throb that accompanied each breath.

It did not.

You let your eyes slide back closed, deciding that the light hadn’t transversed far enough across the ceiling for you to need to be awake yet. Not when the pull of sleep was so strong, and the comfort of your half dreams was too difficult to resist.

“You know I don't like it when you hide from me,” Alessia’s voice said sternly, as though it was right next to your ear, and you felt fingertips graze your lips.

You didn’t open your eyes. Even amongst the haze that was filling every crack in your brain, you knew she wasn't here. She couldn’t be here. Not when she was back in London about to play some team you couldn’t remember.

“I know,” You rasped out.

The fingers gently pulled at your bottom lip before they circled back towards your cheek, and a thumb brushed across your closed eyelid.

“And you’re still doing it?” She asked, and you felt the air of each word on your ear.

You shook your head, turning it slightly, hoping to feel her nose bump hers. “You need to focus on the important things,”

You didn’t come into contact with her, though you knew you should have with the way you shifted.

“And you are not important to me?” She asked her voice hardening in the way it only did when you were about to receive a punishment.

An involuntary shiver ran down your spine, and your eyes opened automatically.

You sucked in a painful breath, blinking blearily at the face above you.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Natasha said quietly, even as your eyes darted around, searching for your girlfriend. “It’s 1, so you need to wake up so we can make a decision about tonight,”

“Less?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper when you saw that Natasha was the only other person in the room with you.

Natasha frowned, brushing your hair away from your forehead. “She’s in London, remember? The game against Luxembourg starts soon,”

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together. You hadn’t remembered that they were playing Luxembourg.

“She’s starting?”

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “It’s mostly the young ones starting since the over-under is plus 20 for England,”

Your nose scrunched, and you forced yourself to sit up. “She has to play,”

None of this would be worth it if she never touched the field.

“I think Serina is using this as more of an identification camp,” Natasha countered, stepping in to help you sit up. “The girls need rest after doing both the Champions League and regular play these last couple of weeks,”

You grunted though it sounded more like a pained wheeze than a grunt.

Alessia’s schedule had been nearly as insane as your own for the past few months. It was part of the reason you were so… reluctant to bother her with something as trivial as a tickle in your throat.

“Maybe you should take a page out of her book,” Natasha added.

Your nostrils flared immediately at the implication.

Your job was so much less physical than Alessia’s. You didn’t do anything to deserve rest like she did.

The pressure you both face to perform was inherently different.

She didn’t let down millions of people every time she rode the bench. She wouldn’t crush the dreams of thousands of people if she didn’t take the pitch.

But still, you could already hear her argument ringing in your head.

I expect you to care for the things that belong to me as deeply and completely as I do. That includes yourself. Your needs matter, and I will not allow you to disregard them.

“No.” You rasped, none of the bite you meant appearing in the word.

“Yes,” Natasha countered, shifting the pillows behind you before you leaned back. “There is no way you can perform tonight,”

You huffed, and crossed your arms, glaring at the city beyond the large window to the right of the bed. “People paid-“

“To hear you sing. Not hack your way through a set,” Natasha cut you off. “They’ll be more disappointed if you give them a show that’s not your best. Reschedule the last 3, so they’re worth what they paid,”

Your glare only deepened, and your eyebrows pulled very tightly together as you processed what she was saying (taking a few extra minutes to cut through the thick fog in your brain).

You knew she was playing on your sensibility. You thought ticket prices were disgusting, and had fought to lower them as much as you could. You had made your show longer in retaliation, so the fans got what they paid for.

You wouldn’t give them a sub-par show.

You didn’t look at her but nodded once.

“I’ll have Tony write a statement. Do you want to approve it before it goes out?” She asked, her voice gentle.

You shook your head, your lips pursing.

“We’ll release it then, and I’ll call a doctor so we can get you some real medication,” The redhead continued, ignoring the deep frown pulling at your features.

It wasn’t that you were trying to be difficult. You just knew what would happen the second the people staked outside of your hotel caught sight of a doctor.

But now you felt like you didn’t have a choice, and not in the fun way.

“Fine,” You muttered, a hacking cough following it.

Natasha patted your back until the coughing stopped, and you relaxed back against the pillows. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll have food sent up, you just watch the game and try to get more sleep before the doctor gets here,”

You huffed but didn’t protest as she tucked the blanket tighter around your torso.

“I know you’re unhappy with all of this, but it is what it is, and we need to look after your health too,” She sighed, turning and bustling around the room, flipping on the television to the game and grabbing a mug you hadn't noticed from the dresser by the door. “Drink that, and I’ll be back in a bit,”

You didn’t respond as she placed the mug on the table beside you, and disappeared through the hotel room door with a soft click.

You wanted to groan. To yell. To throw the mug across the room, but you knew it wouldn’t help.

The other part of you wanted your guitar, not that you were sure your fingers were strong enough right now to actually play.

You closed your eyes, tilting your head back on the pillows.

It wasn’t long before you felt fingers in your hair, though you hadn’t heard the door open again.

You instantly knew who it was, though her perfume was suspiciously missing.

“You look like you got hit by a bus,” She murmured, her breath brushing across your nose.

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting her blue, except it was two shades darker than you remembered, the same shade as the old UNC jersey she was wearing.

“I’m fine,” You croaked, the sound pulling a hacking cough from your lungs that burned as it left you.

“Ah yes, because you sound just fine,” She huffed, her nails scratching lazily at your scalp. “You don’t need to hide from me,”

You blinked slowly, and her form shimmered slightly beside you. “‘M not. ‘M right here,”

“Rule one is honesty for a reason,” She countered, her hand pausing. “You’ve not abided by that.”

You swallowed around the glass in your throat at the confirmation of what you already knew, and your eyes closed again as the heavy weight of it settled on your mind.

You had broken the most sacred rule and you were in trouble. It wouldn’t just be a punishment you would have to take. It would be regaining her trust that would take the longest time.

It was a fragile thing, and you had shattered it.

You forced your eyes open again, determined to say something- anything- that would make it better, except when you did, she was gone.

You blinked heavily at the empty bed beside you. The space she had been seconds ago.

You wanted to shake your head, but with the freight train pounding in your skull, you knew that was a terrible idea.

“This is a very different starting eleven for England, but it’s what we expected. The only change of note is that Alessia Russo is unavailable for this game.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the television, flashing the starting lineup for the game.

Natasha said Alessia wasn’t starting, but you expected her to at least be on the bench.

You closed your eyes and let your head fall back.

What was the point of suffering alone if Alessia wasn’t even going to play?

You weren’t sure anymore.

******

“I’ve got her,”

You stirred at the familiar voice, and the feeling of gentle fingers running through your hair and the bed shifting next to you. The scent of lavender and honey wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, pulling you closer to consciousness.

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together before your eyes flickered open, meeting the familiar blue of your girlfriend.

“Hey there,” She said softly, her thumb smoothing out the crease between your eyebrows. “How are you feeling?”

You opened your mouth, but nothing but a low hacking cough came out.

“Easy, little one,” Alessia shushed you softly. “Just relax. I’m here, and I’ll take care of you now, ok?”

It was painful how real she felt. Painful how much you wanted to believe she was here with you.

“Trouble,” You mumbled, coughing violently afterward, unable to stop yourself from leaning into her hand.

“I think we should make it your middle name since you seem to find it so often,” She murmured, running her hand again through your hair. “But no. You’re not in trouble. Not right now,”

You made a low, wheezing sound, shaking your head, despite the waves of nausea it sent to your stomach. “Real daddy disagrees,”

She frowned. “Real daddy?”

You swallowed hard, forcing words past your stolen vocal cords. “Not here. In Luxembourg. Won’t fool me again,”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She said, her nails dragging against your scalp in the way she knew you loved. “Natasha called me last night, and I got on the flight as soon as I could,”

It took a few extra seconds for her words to filter through the unpleasant haze in your brain. Even then, they didn’t make sense.

Hell, her entire demeanor, including the softness in her features as she looked at you, didn’t make sense.

You explicitly told Natasha not to call her, and you couldn’t process her going against that request. Not when Alessia had a game to play.

“My brain is making you up,” You wheezed after another long second.

She breathed out a half chuckle. “While your brain is brilliant, I wasn’t conjured by it,”

You made a low, husky sound that could only be incredulity.

Her thumb again smoothed the space between your eyebrows. “What will it take for you to believe you’re awake?”

You blinked heavily at her, your shoulders lifting and falling.

She shook her head. “You’re too much,”

“No,” You mumbled, the crease between your eyebrows pushing against her finger. “‘M a good girl,”

“Yes. You are always my good girl, even when you’re being a stubborn pain in the ass,” She agreed fondly, leaning down to press a kiss to your too-warm forehead. “Sleep. I’ll be here where you wake up, and maybe you’ll actually believe you’re not dreaming,”

“Promise?” you asked. Sounding small, as exhaustion pulled at you.

She hummed. “I promise,”

Her fingers kept their soft rhythm in your hair as your eyes fluttered closed, and you shifted to press your nose into her shoulder, breathing in her perfume with each rattling intake from your lungs. It surrounded you, soothing the burning in your chest, and soothing the sharp edges in your throat.

For the first time since the lingering tickle started, you actually felt at peace. You felt calm enough to let yourself truly relax.

It would suck when you woke up and Alessia was gone, but doing anything other than allowing your mind to linger in this delusion felt unbearable.

Instead, you allowed yourself to sink into the overwhelming pull of exhaustion.

And you swore you heard an “always,” before sleep pulled you under.

Even if this alessia didn’t turn out to be real, you trusted her. And as angry as you wanted to be at Natasha and Steve for calling her, you knew she was exactly what you needed.

She always would be, even if she was just made up in your mind.

#woso x reader #woso imagines #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #safe harbor universe #woso imagine

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melosliving · 2 days ago

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aaron pierre x actress!reader

suspect is… but it gets softer every time

It couldn’t be the worst time to do this : it was quite late, the day had just ended on another long series of interviews and photoshoots, running around to promote the new lion king movie, but here you were, giggling to yourselves as you stood in the corridors leading to your respective rooms.

"Tell me why you should be the one starting the tiktok again ?" asks Aaron, his back on one of the walls. He was still dressed in his day clothes, all in black. "Because ladies first, and you’re a gentleman are you not ?" You answered, raising an eyebrow at him playfully.

"okay, let’s do it !" you put yourselves in position, Aaron at the left and you at the right. You hold your phone up, starting to film while walking. "suspect looks like scar but wanted to be the main character." Looking back at you, aaron stops in his track, putting his hand on his mouth "wow ! that’s crazy work, ✦".

The video then cuts to you walking as you’re now seen on the screen. "Suspect swears she has the biggest back in London." He says, trying to surpass his laughter but couldn’t help it when he saw your shocked face. " you know im right ! I am confident in my arse." You say proudly.

"Suspect almost became a stepdad." You add, now filming him walking. "Wooow, really ? you want to do me dirty like this ?". This game was becoming a bit too funny. Tears were almost coming to your lash line as you laughed when reminiscing about the day he told you about one of his ex. "Suspect asked kelvin to marry her so she could have the green card."

Now, this was interesting. You stopped walking, turning to him with a guilty smile. "and DID ! I mean, he told me he would do it, so don’t be jealous…"

"suspect is a big back. Always trying to eat from my plate when he has his !" actually, this was true. With the amount of time y’all and the cast were spending together, lunches and dinners were now tradition, and overtime aaron had developed the habit of eating in both his and your plate at the same time. "I already told you, the food is better when it comes from your plate ! I don’t make rules." He retorted, his cheeks reddening a bit.

Phone in hand, aaron started to walk with you, "suspect can’t sleep without hearing my voice." he told everybody, airing out your little secret. "I do actually, I can’t help it I love your voice." You admit, looking at him with this cute frown of yours. "Suspect is really really handsome and talented." You added, smiling at aaron as he stopped walking.

"Anw, lovie.." he answered, coming towards you to hug you. Still recording, your giggles were heard as your face went in his chest as y’all were hugging. Last but not least, "suspect deserves the world, every bit of happiness that comes towards her." Finally said aaron, teeth all out as he smiled at your surprised face.

"You love me.. like I know you actually love me." You said, trying your best not to laugh as you started to pout before you took your phone back to stop the video.

#tiktok!comments

@user1 not the green card 😭

@kelvin harrison jr I always knew he wanted to be me 🙄❤️

@starsliving who wouldn’t want to be you ?🤰🏽🤱🏽

@user2 they actually look good together stop meee

@LionKing I know mufasa and sarabi have been enjoying themselves 🦁❤️

@kelvin harrison jr don’t star now. I’ll get maddd

@user3 raw (both of them). next question

@user4 it’s the height difference for me

@ starsliving everything aaron said in this tiktok is pure defamation

@aaronpierre you know you’re lying 🤥

@user5 look at how his eyes glistened when she told him he was handsome AND talented 🥹

@ melosliving 2025

#actor!reader #aaron pierre fluff #aaron pierre x black reader #aaron pierre #mufasa : the lion king #aaron pierre x reader

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atzloverr · 1 day ago

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Yandere alphabet - Hongjoong

tw: yandere, obsessive behavior, depictions of violence, bondage, blood and gore, murder, sadism, abuse, drugging, manipulation, stalking

you read at YOUR OWN RISK, I do not imply that this fic depicts the mentioned people’s behavior.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He loves to shower you in gifts, showing you the lengths he’s willing to go to see you smile. He’ll buy you a full walk-in-closet to fill with cute clothes that you can wear for him, or get you all of your favorite snacks and foods, just to take it away from you when you try to act bossy.

He’ll sit with you for hours, forcing you to spend time with him, watching movies or simply talking about life. All he wants is for the two of you to be like a real couple, going on dates (obviously isolated from all other people) and sleeping together, snuggling up when the weather’s cold (he obviously won’t untie you, he’ll simply pull you closer to him, acting as if you’re the one wanting to be close to him.) ”Aww, you’re cold?” he’ll coo as he feels your cold skin against his in bed. ”Wanna be closer to me, hm?”

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

He’s willing to go to any lengths, and I mean any lengths, to show you how truly obsessed he is with you. He needs you to know what happens if you disobey him, and what happens to anyone who would ever hurt you. He doesn’t care if you think he’s a monster for what he does, for how violent he gets, because he knows what’s best for you, and he’ll make you realize that too.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He’ll always wear that cocky grin on his face, mocking you as you struggle in your restraints. He makes up a system of rules, making sure you know how you have to behave if you want to get treated better. He’ll keep you tied up in a secluded room at first, telling you that once you obey him completely and stop fighting, you’ll get to lose your restraints and move to another room.

And he won’t lie of course, but the little detail he won’t mention is how you’ll get forced back into even more restraints and even worse conditions if you happen to make the tiniest little mistake, show the tiniest signs of disobedience. And then, you’ll be back to page one, having to work even harder this time to gain his trust again.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

He won’t touch you until you beg him to. It goes against everything he believes in to touch you inappropriately without your consent. He wants you to want it, he needs you to need him.

While this might make him seem like a nice gentleman, that’s far from the truth. He’ll gladly blackmail you, manipulate the fuck out of you until you want him, until you need him and his touch. He’ll threaten to hurt you if you resist him, convince you that actually want him, but you just don’t know it yet.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Hongjoong will not show himself vulnerable in a long time. He’ll only show that side of him when you’ve earned it, or when he needs to manipulate you. He might cry, get on his knees and beg you to forgive him, knowing you’ll fall for his little act. But he’ll only show his real self to you when he actually needs to, or when he’s had a bit too much to drink.

”You know I love you, right?” he once cried into your shoulder, the smell of alcohol oozing off of him. You had seen the blood on his shirt, noticed the way he limped into the room. ”All I do, I do for you,” Hongjoong whispered, his lips grazing your neck. You felt his words tugging on your heartstrings, even though you begged yourself to remain stoic.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Oh how he loves to see you fight. Seeing that fire in your eyes, hearing the raw emotion in your voice. Seeing you beg, thrash around and scream at him only makes him enjoy this more.

He’ll work really hard to draw out a reaction from you, cutting your skin, making you watch as he tortures someone else. Everything to see you yell at him. He might even untie you when you’re in your weakest state, just to see you try to physically fight him, knowing you can’t even stand a chance. He lives to see that defeated look when he straddles you to the floor, when you realize that you can never actually win over him. But he prays that you never stop trying.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

He loves leaving the door open, letting your restraints a little looser than before so you can believe that you can actually escape from him. He’ll make you believe that your ridiculous attempts of escape (like telling him that the room you live in is too cold) will actually work, and make you run all the way to the door, just to wait right outside with a grin on his face.

”Did you really think you could run from me? You’re more stupid than I thought!” he’ll laugh in your face, watching you whimper and groan around the gag in your mouth. ”Now you’ll have to rot here for another month,” Hongjoong says with faux sympathy. ”My poor baby.” He wipes a tear from your cheek. ”Now, which finger do you want me to break first?” he smiles. ”Oh right,” he says, looking at the gag in your mouth. ”I’ll just decide for you then!”

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Your worst experience must’ve been when he brought your former boyfriend San to the house. You had been dating him for a month or two before Hongjoong took you, and you had really started to love him. But there was not a single person on this earth who Hongjoong hated as much as him. The way San would touch you, kiss you, spend so much time with you, that was what made Hongjoong make his decision about abducting you. He couldn’t have you seeing anyone but him.

So of course, the first time you tried to escape, Hongjoong knew exactly what your punishment would be. He tied you to a chair opposite to where San was laying on the floor, bloody and bruised. You can never forget the scream San let out when Hongjoong stabbed him in the thigh, and you could never forget the last words he said before Hongjoong finally killed him. ”I love you.” Even though that was hard to forget, nothing beat the memory of the sight of Hongjoong constantly smiling and laughing as he watched San’s blood splatter all over him.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He has it all planned out. A large, fancy house in the middle of nowhere, close to a lake where you two can have romantic dates. He wants to get married too, and maybe have a cat or two. He doesn’t want kids, so he’ll make sure to put you on birth control, so he won’t have to worry about anything. He wants to grow old with you, and with the amount of money he has, you’ll be able to go all around the world in all of the years you’ll spend together. If you behave, that is.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Hongjoong is jealousy. The jealousy bubbling inside of him was what made his need for you grow in such a rapid fashion. Seeing you with others, thinking about you being with anyone but him, that’s what made him decide to abduct you. You’re his, whether you’ve realized that yet or not.

Is he good at coping with his jealousy, no, absolutely not. That’s why you stopped hearing from that guy who acted a bit too friendly with you, because Hongjoong had to take out his anger on someone. So why not on one of the people he hates seeing you with? You don’t need anyone else, and if you ever express the want for anyone but him once he has you, trust that you’re now the one he will be taking out his anger on.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

It all depends on his mood, which changes rapidly from day to day. You never know what you’ll get with him. One day, he might act romantic, or have a bit more patience than usually. The next day he’ll lash out if you even look at him in a certain way, punishing you for pure mistakes and small things that might’ve gone unnoticed on other days.

But mostly, he acts sweet, but in a manipulative and menacing way. He’s passive aggressive, and makes comments such as ”Well, if you hadn’t tried to escape, maybe I wouldn’t have to keep your restraints?” He treats you like a little pet who doesn’t know what’s good for itself. Only he can decide what’s best for you, only he can truly satisfy your needs.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

After watching you for many months, he already has a plan on how to get you all to himself. He won’t simply ask you out, no, he has to make you need him. He’ll make sure you’re vulnerable, weak and alone when he approaches you. That’s why he killed one of your close friends and blackmailed your boyfriend San to stop contacting you, only for a little while of course, (well, it wouldn’t be long until you were safe and sound in Hongjoong’s home.)

That’s when he slowly approached you at work, telling you that you dropped your phone (which he took from you). He made sure to wear a perfume that he knew you liked, and he had dressed in a way that he knew you found appealing. Of course, you hadn’t broken up with San, but Hongjoong knew how hurt you were when San told you he didn’t have time to talk to you, so he took the opportunity in front of him.

He made you believe he was a new employee at your firm, and made sure you got assigned by your boss to help him a little bit. Hongjoong knew you were drawn in by him. The way your eyes lightened up when you saw him, the way you blushed when he ”accidentally” came a little close to you. And before you knew it, you and Hongjoong were friends. He had a hard time controlling himself, but worked hard to hide his jealousy, adoration and obsession from you.

Hongjoong basically counted the days until he was going to make his ultimate move, and when the day came, he made sure you were extra vulnerable and therefore easily manipulated. He made sure you got a long shift, and that you had had a terrible week, so that you practically couldn’t say no when Hongjoong asked if you wanted to come over to his place and watch a movie, maybe have a sleepover. You both knew that you would cry yourself to sleep if you went home to your own apartment, so you nodded with a happy sigh when he asked.

Hongjoong just smiled contentedly when you finally passed out from the drugs he had put in your drink. He watched as your head fell to his shoulder, and carried you away to your new room while humming a sweet tune. He tied you up completely, and then he just sat there and watched you, waiting for you to wake up and start your new life with him❤️

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Around everyone else, he’s just a sweet, cute little guy who gets along with anyone. He rarely gets close to anyone but you, because he knows his true nature is flawed in other’s eyes, and he always wants to appear perfect to the world around him. He only lets out his powerful and sadistic self when he really needs something, like when he blackmails the people around you to do specific things, or when he has to kill some guy for looking at you in a weird way.

When you first met him and got to know him, you would’ve never guessed that he was like this. But now that you know his true colors, you have a hard time believing any word he says. Only a psychopath can be able to fake a personality that well, that, you’re sure of.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He loves to punish you. He can’t understand why he so deeply craves to see that look on your face when he depraves you of basic human rights, or hear your pathetic cries and begs when he holds a knife to your neck, threatening to cut right into you. Isolation is a punishment that he used sometimes, but he doesn’t enjoy it as much as he enjoys depriving you of privacy.

Basically, it all depends on his mood, and what you’ve done. For the more severe punishments, he’ll keep you locked up and cut you up. He’ll watch the blood ooze out of your veins with a smile on his face. It’s not often that he makes you do things, but when he does, you hate it the most. He might make you eat from a bowl like a dog, getting dragged around on a leash and getting spanks when you disobey.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Again, it all depends on how you act, and if you obey him or not, but you’ll never fully get your rights back. You’ll never get to decide where to go, and you won’t get to meet any of your old friends or family members again. Hongjoong decides who you can meet, and where you can go.

When it’s bad, if you’ve disobeyed him and lost his trust, he won’t let you go anywhere, do anything without his direction. He’ll control your diet, what you wear, when you clean yourself, when you go to bed and even when you can see or talk. Even if you cry in helplessness, feeling like a doll being played with, Hongjoong will only give some rights back when you learn to behave again.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Although Hongjoong’s anger issues can be very apparent at times, and he has a hard time controlling his temper, he has no issue waiting for you. He’ll gladly have you locked up for months, if he believes that it’s worth it. Sure, it can frustrate him when you still don’t realize his love for you, or how much better this life is for you, but it’ll never frustrate him enough to give up on you. He still believes deep down that you’ll learn, no matter how long it takes. You’ll learn just how much you love him, just how right the two of you are for each other.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He checks up on you too often for you to die out of natural causes, and if you were ever to get some life-threatening disease, he would get you the best doctor, because the thought of you dying on him makes him want to end his own life. If you try to take your own life, or risk it in any way, he’ll punish you severely, but also blame himself. You should never want death over him, that’s a sign he’s gone completely wrong.

His system is so perfectly constructed, he has made it practically impossible for you to escape. The cameras, the sensors, there is no way for you to ever escape. If you, in some unspeakable way, manage to escape, Hongjoong might literally go insane, well, if he wasn’t already. He might be considered manic, running around thinking of how to find you. He’ll go to any lengths to get you back, blackmail anyone, kill anyone, anything to get his precious darling back to his safe haven. And when he finally finds you, because he will, he’ll pull you close to him and sob uncontrollably. This would be the first time you’ll ever see him like this, so vulnerable, so emotionally raw.

”My baby, don’t ever leave me again,” he’ll scream and cry, burying his face in your shoulder. You’ll shake in fear, not even wanting to think about what’s going to happen to you now. ”Baby, I was so scared,�� Hongjoong sniffles. ”Let’s go home,” he says before kissing you. You wish he would stay like this. Because even though you hate him for all he had done to you, for all the horrible things he had put you through, this version of him almost makes you believe that you can perhaps learn to find enjoyment in the life you have in front of you. Because now you know, you know that you will never see the outside world ever again.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He can’t even bear the thought of you not being with him in the future, so him letting you go is completely out of the picture. He might find himself feeling guilty once or twice, but he immediately tries to shake the feeling. After all that planning, all that work to get you here, he can’t feel remorse, he can’t feel sorry. So why does he sometimes find himself feeling sad, thinking about how happy you used to be. He doesn’t actually regret his decision, but at times, he might actually question it.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Hongjoong had always been on his own, for as long as he could remember. He didn’t have any friends as a kid, and that wasn’t because no one wanted to befriend him, but rather because he didn’t want to let anyone get close. He didn’t know why he was like this. Why did he want to hurt the people closest to him? Why did he feel like he craved more than the ”love” he saw around him? He hated the world, he hated how people treated each other, how people could potentially treat him. At one point. Hongjoong was pretty sure he hated every single person on earth. That was, until he found you. There was just something so extraordinary about you, something that showed you weren’t like the rest. That’s why he decided that you needed to be kept safe, he needed you to be his.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Your screams, cries, squirms, moans, tears, squeals and whimpers, that’s what Hongjoong lives for. Seeing you so alive, seeing your emotions so unfiltered, so raw, it makes him feel warm inside. That’s why he can’t handle it when your eyes start to go dull, when you grow more and more numb to the feelings he’s putting you through.

”Why are you doing that?” he’ll ask, examining the look on your face. ”Why do you seem so distant!?” his voice raises. You don’t react, you don’t give him that disgusted look you always give him. You just sit there, eyes not focusing on anything. He’ll make sure to get a reaction out of you, no matter what it takes, because nothing makes his heart clench as much as seeing you like this.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He’s pretty much like a ”classic” yandere: obsessive, abusive, manipulative and basically a psychopath. The one thing he refuses to do though is to sexually assault you. You’re his precious darling, and not even he can lay his hands on you in such a disgusting manner.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

He rarely shows any type of weakness to you, so finding one is going to be extremely hard. The one weakness you might be able to exploit (with lots of planning and time being consumed) could be his fear of you becoming emotionally numb. So if you intentionally stop fighting back, stop reacting to him, stop crying and stop acting like yourself, he might be ready to risk it all to get you back. He might not realize that you’re still in there, trying to escape, so he might let you roam the house freely, if he believes it’ll make you come back to him. Perhaps then could you try to find some way to escape, but with the amount of cameras and security systems, it’ll probably be impossible, and just end up with a severe punishment.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course he would. No matter how precious he tells you that you are to him, that doesn’t seem to stop his violent tendencies towards you. He hurts you because he loves you, because he needs you to know what’s best for you. He tells you that he only hurts you when it’s necessary, when you need to be disciplined. The longer you stay with him, the more you believe him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He’s not the clingy type (except for when he’s drunk) so don’t expect him to be all over you or anything like that. He acts cold most of the time, and will only warm up to you if you’ve proven yourself worthy. When the two of you eventually have sex for the first time, that’s when you’ll first see him worship you. He’ll cherish every inch of your body, making sure you feel better than you’ve ever felt before.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He waited for a few months before approaching you, and that was way too long for his own liking, to be honest. What made him snap was seeing that god damn San with you, seeing the love in your gaze, hearing the moans and sounds your boyfriend could draw out of you. That’s when he truly realized, that he needed you to look at him that way, and nobody else.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No, not completely at least. He never wants to see the life leave your eyes, he never wants you to lose your spark, your personality. That’s what he fell in love with, after all. He’ll gladly manipulate you until you love him, until you need him completely, but not until you lose yourself. If that ever happens, he would never forgive himself.

masterlist

which member should i do next? write a request!

#ateez x reader #ateez #tw yandere #ateez yandere #yandere ateez #yandere hongjoong #kim hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x you #hongjoong #ateez imagines #yandere alphabet #alphabet

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thedissonantverses · 2 days ago

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The Solas Problem:

A Lesson in Narrative Tension in DATV

This isn’t a Solas critical write-up, nor is it positive. It’s only an essay on how narrative tension works. We take Solas as he is here. Media Literacy 101 is back in session under the cut.

TL;DR: Giving Solas more screen time would have stripped Veilguard of one of its best parts. Solas.

“No real god need prove himself. Anyone who tries is mad or lying.”

We actually have two major problems with Solas right off the bat. The first is power. The power creep on this man is absurd. He’s been around for thousands of years and his magic has affected the fabric of reality in Thedas. He can kill people in their dreams. He can turn people to stone with his mind. The blight. Just…the blight. Altering the course of history is what he does best.

When we first meet him in Inquisition he is a considerable threat but not anything special for Thedas. In his reveal in Tresspasser he sent chills down my spine. In Veilguard he’s had years to accumulate enough power to tear down the Veil. If it had been a real fight with Solas in the beginning Rook would have been obliterated.

Even if Solas was an ally, it wouldn’t work. This is very similar to why Superman had kryptonite because he’s already overpowered without it. If Solas is around the whole game pulling Rook out of every fight, Veilguard would suck. It’d be so boring. There is no good way to deal with his raw power without trapping, severely injuring, or putting him to sleep or on a side quest the whole game. Put a pin in this, we’ll get back to it.

The second large writing problem with Solas is he is ruthless. This man clearly follows his own rules and he’s survived a long time against enemies many more times more powerful than the Veilguard. It’s why Rook and the team seem so “nice” in comparison. None of them would have stabbed their friends for the greater good. None of them could or ever would do what he and Mythal did to the Titans. Whatever his motivations are at any given moment are largely driven by his own sense of right or wrong. He does have one. It’s just not the same as us mortals’. Run afoul of his moral code and you’re dead.

I’m going to go on a bit of an aside but I promise it’s related. The first Alien movie is a good horror move, in part to a technique movies use to great effect. Tease your audience. The reason they don’t show the alien too much is because it would look fucking goofy. No matter how good your effects were back then, a human in a suit moves like a human in a suit. What that movie does really well in its horror is show glimpses of the man in the mask but not the whole thing at once. Let the audience’s minds fill in the gaps.

That’s what Veilguard is doing with Solas throughout the game. We know Solas is powerful. But the first time we see him it’s him failing. Then he’s trapped in time and space. We get echoes of what he can do. We don’t fully realize how powerful until you see him flinging blight back in Minrathous with the same amount of effort a regular character would use to shoot their bow. We get glimpses of his deeper motivations and foibles, but we don’t feel what’s it’s truly like to be in his way until Tearstone Island. We don’t learn about Varric until the wolf has already cornered us.

So why did they trap him?

Trapping Solas in a prison of his own design, where the key is regret, is excellent character work. We know Solas doesn’t see himself as the villain. We know he’s the type of man who thinks of himself as not just Elgar’nan’s equal, but his better. Which, maybe he is, but he is still a self-righteous man with rivers of blood on his hands who was ready to destroy the world Thedas has become in order to restore a past that can never be again. Solas is static. Unyielding. Frozen by regret. He won’t change to suit the world, he will change the world to suit him.

The examples used of how Solas could be dealt with work, but to varying degrees depending on how well they’re executed. Why matters as much as how. What the writers did was look at Solas’ prior character work and pick the best one to suit him. The way they executed this solves multiple problems at once, using the character’s own fatal flaw against him.

It’s a simple solution, really.

#dragon age #veilguard #veilguard spoilers #solas #datv #dragon age meta #da: inquisition

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borntobeslay · 5 hours ago

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not so sure on your exact writing rules, but i see you write for katseye soo!!!

do you have any fluffy gf!katseye headcanons???

Yesss!!

For sophia, I personally think she loves to show you off! Holding your hand in public, Hugs from behind, kisses on the cheek! She wants everyone to know that she’s got the prettiest girl in the world by her side!

For Manon, I feel like she just loves to sit and be quiet with each other?? Yk what I mean? Like after a long schedule, she’d love to just sit in your arms and watch a movie with little random conversation in the mix lol

For Daniela, she seems like the type to take you on random dates! Like one day you’re just laying in bed together then suddenly she’s like “Let’s go out to eat. I’ll pay. Oh then we can go to the theme park! And we can go to the beach…” and she just rambles on and on about all the places she wants to go with you!

For Lara I would like to think she would be in her room with you sitting on her lap while she’s working on songs and squeezing your waist and kissing your cheeks just to let you know she’s paying attention to you!

Megan… Megan is the one who geeks out over the smallest thing lol If you asked to hold hands? Blushing. You ask for a kiss? BLUSHING. I just think she’s the cutest loser gf out there lol

Yoonchae (can be platonic) I could imagine you going out for ice cream with Yoonchae she likes to listen to you ramble about your day! She’s a quiet type of girl so she won’t say much but she loves to listen!

A/n: Thank you @yunazxxx for being my first request lol😭 feel free to send more! I’m gonna be making my rules here in a second so every thing will be more clear but this was perfect! Love a good fluff!

#kpop #katseye #daniela avanzini #sophia laforteza #lara raj #manon bannerman #fyp #like pls #jeong yoonchae #megan skiendiel #fem lesbian #wlw post #fem reader #x yn

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quirekey · 2 days ago

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! You don’t have to do this request right now since it’s probably new years where you live rn and you’re probably celebrating! You can do this whenever you’re free!

I just wanted to ask if you could do pt 2 of Chase and the singing reader fic?? I really loved it 😿🩵

Ty!! And once again, happy new years!!!🫶🫶🫶

LOL I’m glad you loved it! Also mb for the late one, mootie :[

[ CHASE ] x [ FEMME!READER ]

[ chase x human!femme!singer!reader ] [ part 2 ]

Part 1

“Well done, (Y/N), you have gained my trust and admiration.”

You turned to see Chase beside the Chief, he’s stoic and blushing… You knew Chase a little, how liked to sing but he wasn’t good at it or that he memorised all of the laws and rules on both Cybertron and Griffin Rock.

”Thank you, Chase. You're not bad yourself.”

START OF PART 2

The Chief looked up at Chase with a suspicious expression, now knowing Chase’s little secret. Chase looked back with his solid face, to everyone it seemed normal but Charlie knew Chase better than anybody else.

”Hey, wanna celebrate your attempt at the firehouse? I bet Blades would love to hear your voice too!”

”Hm… Sure, I got no food at home since I forgot to buy some so why not?”

Dani then grabbed your hand and started dragging you back to the firehouse while laughing. I guess you're walking today. Kade followed from behind while Graham, Boulder, Charlie and Chase stayed back to make sure the rest of the auditions went smoothly. Chase was urging to transform and follow you and the other two back, both worried that he couldn’t spend time with you and that you could be unsafe. Charlie placed a hand on Chase’s leg and gave him a nod of reassurance, this did sooth Chase somewhat.

When the auditions ended, the 4 made their way back. They came into the firehouse and expected a massive party, but they were wrong. It was just you and Dani feasting on snacks while watching a show with Kade standing behind taking handfuls of popcorn into his mouth. Blades watched too and Heatwave just leaned on the wall and observed the celebration. It was pretty humorous in a way. Chase immediately went to stand beside you as you sat on the couch and watched the show with you.

Sure, it looked like he was watching the movie too but in his head, it was different from reality. He wanted to make a move and maybe ask if you enjoyed detective analogs and how the law worked since everybody else enjoyed it (they didn’t, they just didn’t want to tell him the truth).

Days pass and finally, a quiet day in Griffin Rock comes by and blesses the poor fella. Chase had a chance to have a long and casual conversation with you without any interruptions. You were hanging out at the Firehouse to celebrate your role in the play by having dinner with the Burns. He went up to you and-

“(Y/N), do you perhaps have any song suggestions? Cody said it’s more enjoyable to have sound to accompany you when you are driving alone.”

”Hm? I don’t have many, no… I usually listen to Vocaloids or generally Japanese songs. I don’t think there’s anything that I like that would interest you.”

”Oh. May I listen to these ‘vocaloid’ songs then?”

“Well an iconic one I know is The Vampire, I think it’s pretty!”

You cleared your neck and started to softly sing said song. You were pretty shy so you kept your voice down but to a point where Chase could hear you. Your voice was so calming and automatically made his spark melt. You looked stunning in his optics and he wouldn’t trade you for anything.

”So, did you like it?”

”… Yes, it was enjoyable.”

Chase’s reply lingered for a bit in the air as you waited for the rest of his reply.

”(Y/N), is it possible for you to give me singing lessons? I do wish to try singing on my own but seemingly Heatwave dislikes it. I suppose you could help me since you have perfected your skills in music and tone.”

”Oh? Well, I’d be honored!”

The end :)

Unless there's a few that want a part 3

#transformers #transformers x reader #rb chase #chase x reader #chase #rescue bots x reader #rb #rescue bots #fanfic

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swan2swan · 2 days ago

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Thinking about Wish again (listened to the song) and how insanely neutered the film was.

Remember when killing off Elsa's parents was a huge emotional impact? Remember when Eugene got stabbed? When Wreck-It-Ralph had...take your pick?

What happened to that?

Disney had their gumption back for a minute. Then they--wait, never mind, I figured it out, it's YOU AGAIN.

Right there.

Or a few minutes earlier, rather. When Elsa saves the empty castle and city from being destroyed by the terrible wave created from the destruction of her family's evil legacy. That was it. That, right there.

The sanitization. The reluctance to do anything huge. The moment whatever focus group, whatever executive, looked at the screeing and said "No, take out the destroyed buildings, we can't have a downer ending in this film! The kids will be sad at the sight of buildings falling!", and from that moment on, it was nothing but trash.

#anyway #got that out of my system #wish deserved better and it will forever frustrate me #again it's not a “one thing could have fixed it” movie #but it's also a like...five things would have fixed it #lose the cute star and make him the hot dude #give him a long-range yearning relationship with her make them the Perfect Couple That Can Never Be Together everyone loves that #keep the queen evil and set her up to become the Wicked Queen at the end #get GOOD SONGS #keep the broken dreams broken #and for the love of everything MAKE ASHA THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE #keep the rest of the plot similar just have her slowly realizing that what they're doing with the wishes is wrong #and then have that final battle be a little more brutal #see?#all that?#just do that and your movie would have ruled #but no SELL THE STAR PLUSH #EVERYONE WILL LOVE THE STAR NO MATTER HOW BAD THE MOVIE IS #I have not seen moana 2 maybe I'm full of nonsense

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blood-in-retroflex · 2 months ago

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google: how does one tell people I don't celebrate without pretending to be jewish or a johovas witness?

#people assume i'm jewish and ask me my hanukkah plans #like people have spent their whole lifes watch hundreds of movies hey look we cure the grumpy anti-spirit of Christmas man #and i wasn't raised relgious so it doesn't bug me to not cuz I only ever did the secular-ish version anyways #Every year all my friend forget and try to fix me and tell me I just need to make new memories are tell me I'm evil or something #we are adults you should be able to respect that I'm happier this way even if you don't understand #i just never vibed with christmas #it feels like everyone is a sleeper agent even jewish friends #i do new years #and like april fools day #and halloween #it shouldn't be that big a deal #but like it really triggers people #and they assume the worst about my parents which is so untrue #this year might go no contact with the first person who threatens me in response to my car rules #no Christmas music no weeb music no feet on the dash #i am not anti-christmas you can have your fun and I give gifts to friends #i just don't have a tree #or do antything special #and i don't want to go to your parent #i could fly to my parents #i'm not that broke #i'm just happier have a free wednesday to myself #yes i have christmas traumatic events but i felt this way before then #no body would care or notice if I didn't do easter #i know becuase i don't do easter unless it lines up with a vacation and I can see my parents #advice #holidays #christmas #the answer is lying isn't it i don't want to lie #i don't celibrate a religous holiday this time of year shouldn't be that hard

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bmpmp3 · 6 months ago

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the really beautiful landscape/skyscape animation in makoto shinkai's works tends to be the big thing i see focused on and that is understandable and deserved like the weather and lighting effects are unREAL but i do think we should also appreciate how absolute insane the plotlines of his original movies get. at least two movies with in universe catastrophes with major ecological implications. the guns and explosions. theres that one movie i havent seen yet with the guy who turns into a chair (?)

#just watched weathering with you. it was really good. REALLY good #i remember when it came out people were saying it was better than your name. but now it seems the general opinion switched?#your name changed my brain chemistry and outlook on life. i think weathering with you may do the same #so to me i think they're like on pare with eachother. i dont know if i can choose which is my fav now LOL #they are sisters to me..... sisters to me...... quick review below watch out for spoilers #i dont think i'll be too detailed but i do also just recommend watching it its a great movie #I DID like the soundtrack in your name a BIT better like the score had a few more hooks for me and i loved all the insert songs #while in wwy i liked the last three inserts but the first couple didnt really grab me. but its all radwimps so its all good LOL #the side characters in wwy were so good tho like i loved all the cast so much #of course i adored the main characters of your name and wwy both. but the side cast in wwy ruled i think i'll remember them for a long time #the taki jumpscare was also great. my boy was here. my boy was here. just for a minute #i also adored how unhinged the main character of wwy was. hodaka was like. a bit unwell? HJKDJHKFD i thought it was great #weird and quiet but desperately a bit violent in a way that i think was very relatable #i also loved the like. message? sorry that sounds sappy but i liked that like the story was kind of like #coming to hina who is working so hard and forced by herself and circumstance to grow up so early and sacrifice so much #and grabbing her by the shoulders and telling her YOU CAN LIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE FUN!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!#i think it was so sweet and such a strong sentiment. wonderful movie. also there was guns and i was so scared #i think that might actually by why i love how high stakes the plots get in these movies like the character design and personalities are so #real and down to earth so when you go to the beautiful planetary skyscapes and also the exploding vehicals you get like so in awe or scared #it does also make me laugh tho now thinking about the your name nendos. you can just barely make nendos of them. you cannot make a nendo of #hodaka. hina maybe. but not hodaka. he is. some guy. the most some guy. visually at least. mentally hes got. something happening <3 #loved him so much. hes normal. hes normal. oh they did make some popup parades thats cute #altho it is a bit funny looking. that is just like two normal teenagers JHKLDSHKFDLSafdjksd #anyway next up i'll probably watch the chair movie. ive heard a couple songs from it and they were pretty good so im excited #it also makes me realize i need to watch more of his back catalogue other than 5cm.... he has way more movies than i remembered #i hope someday he gets to make the yuri movie he wanted to. it would be unreal. huge beautiful skys. ecological disasters. girls kissing #oh i hope he gets to do it one day..... one day.....#EDIT: WAIT THEY DID MAKE A NENDO OF HODAKA AND HINA.... LIKE FULL NENDOS NOT EVEN PETITE.....#HODAKA REALLY DOES JUST LOOK LIKE SOME DUDE.... AWESOME

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happi-tree · 2 years ago

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soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚

#i was so taken by this scene in the movie that it was literally the first thing i wrote for this au. head in my hands gay people real <3 #the sasharcy in this. very self-indulgent very off the charts. the sashanne and marcanne too but that is not the focus here lmao #anyway. hiiiiiii amphibia fandom i am not like. super dead dndads has just had a very sudden and firm grasp on my heart as of late hsbfkahv #also there's a brief glimpse at sasha's backstory here. it really sucks when you're meant to be the paragon of all that is good and pure #and you have the eyes of an entire realm on you at all times. and you keep pushing the envelope of what's proper #i.e. not wearing the frilly dresses all of the time taking up fighting etc. this would already be hard enough if you were a regular student #but you aren't that. everyone is watching you and has Expectations for you and you know what you want but you can't let yourself have it #so you just repress things so hard. cling to whatever you can get away with and try your very best to excel at everything they let you have #and then in come marcy and anne and you've never seen two people less concerned with The Rules. their existence itself flips the script #and you have NO idea what to do about that! other than panic internally ofc <3 #anywho. sorry the sasha bias really came through with this one i just think her pov in this would be so inch resting #okok i'm done now i promise #cartoons #amphibia #sasharcy #happi scribbles #happi rambles #also. if ppl like this please do lmk bc while i doubt i'll finish this i do have a few more disjointed bits i could post up for y'all <3 #tartd au

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jewishcissiekj · 1 year ago

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I think we need to gaslight Dave Filoni into thinking Barriss only ever appeared in AOTC or that she died in the Battle of Geonosis so he'll stay the fuck away from her and never execute whatever his plans were for her

#sw #star wars #oh barriss offee?#yeah she's my glup shitto who has 30 seconds of screen time in episode ii #nothing more you don't have to worry about it hat man in my room at 3 am #yeah she never appeared again. sorry no you can't do anything about it #you can't retcon the movies! that's the only rule and you've already tried breaking it 12 times!#this week #she's just dead it's not that you can't put her in your stories it would just annoy canon fans #continuity fans and such you know how they can get #haha the wrong jedi?#yeah you've got the wrong jedi #you're looking for anakin skywalker not barriss offee #(sorry about that i'm done)#barriss ofee #dave filoni

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aliceundrground · 1 year ago

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So I went on a ramble in the tags, for anyone interested lol

I am calling for a total and complete ban on tiktok pop psychology until we can figure out what the hell is going on

#i mean theyre not wrong #but also-#I find folks more norm aligned tend to love christmas while more queer aligned tend to love halloween #so those things correlating to good/bad childhood makes some sense #ALSO #christmas is about family so if you have good relationships with your family then you're more likely to love christmas #ALSO ALSO #90% of Christmas movies are cishet romance movies which then aligns you to think of those vibes for Christmas #songs too #so if youre cishet you're more likely to absorb those cozy romance vibes which adds to the positive associations for Christmas #while likely causing the opposite effect for queer folks #queer ND or otherwise “abnormal” folks would also associate family visits with hiding yourself and masking #this also aligns with any norm aligned person who had a bad childhood/shitty family #meanwhile halloween is about expressing yourself and being with your friends- often without your family around at all #its being a little gremlin and getting candy and being free to just run around and be a little weirdo #so I don't know if norm aligned but shitty family = likes halloween but it would predispose more towards dislikes christmas #the less norm aligned you are the more halloween feels like home #but obviously this isnt like- a rule lol #I do think the trends make sense tho

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apathyfairy · 1 month ago

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someone who is good at reading too much into nothing pls analyze my dream

#i had this weird dream where i was looking for an apartment like always and i went to this one that i guess was a townhouse #but it was a whole house but it was attached like an apartment and had a hallway and everything but i went the first time #to see it and i was like holy shit bc it had 4 bedrooms and it was literally like 4000 square feet and it was 1300 a month #and i was like well yeah of course i want this but the vibe feels so off ? but idk why so i went to some others and whatever but #i was like it's stupid not to take that one when it is literally bigger than a house and so i went to see it again #and i was like the vibe is still so off but it's such a nice place :( so anyway i kept walking around and i was leaving and there were #other people there touring it too and i was like does anyone hear that ? and the realtor was like yeah it's the downstairs neighbors again #theyre always fighting and it was literally 2 people screaming their lungs out at each other but she didnt care she just started stomping #and i was like girl i do not think that's how you solve that but ok. then i was like wow it's like my old haunted apartment irl where #my neighbors would quite literally throw each other into the walls at 3am and then i was like omg that's why the vibe feels off #and then i remembered i had researched the place and found out two little girls died there and i was like ok yeah. i dont want this #so i kept walking to find the exit and then i saw 2 little girls ! climbing up the stairs and like flickering in and out of the light #like movie ghosts and i was like OMG there they are and they were talking to me and i was like How is no one else seeing this but #they were talking to ME directly and i was like pls stop talking to me like i was so scared and what they were saying to me was like #we're yours now like we're staying with YOU and then they walked up the stairs and out the door #and i was like oh great now i have ghosts attached to me and i was sooooo scared i dont even know why and then i went outside #and i was talking to these two people i had met inside the place and i was suspicious so i was like where are you from ?#like what country ? bc i figured no one who was a ghost could answer that for some reason lmaooo and they couldnt answer and i #was like yeah i knew it youre ghosts and they were like yeah we are and so i was like What the fuck is going on then i remembered the girls #and i was like where did they even go #anyway then i went back home to wherever i was living and surprise surprise the ghost girls were there and i was like i literally #cannot do this and i was so scared again and like they were just normal little girls but i was so scared and anyway they were like #you have to help us find out who killed us and then we can leave you like ok how very ghost whisperer but i was like ok i will help you #and then i remembered if i help them then i will get to see one person i know who died. which i guess was just a rule or something.#and then i was like oh yeah my husband died. if i help them then i can see him again #then anyway i had to leave bc work was calling me and then i got in my dead husbands incredibly small car which i couldnt even see out of #it was so small and then i was driving on the pch ? and there was so much traffic and i had to make a u turn and i fell off a cliff. the en #the thing that's so strange about it is how scared i was like irl i was breathing so hard when i woke up and literally had goosebumps like #idk i feel like it was a warning but for what lmao #i did go look at apartments this weekend and i did find one that is fine but it's not haunted at all the vibe was nothing u know

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spencerreidenjoyer · 6 months ago

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addicted to you | spencer reid x reader

Spencer isn’t inclined to be affectionate with you. He’s a socially awkward germaphobe, and you’re perfectly fine with it. However, being three months into your relationship, you can’t help but want more. Once Spencer gets a taste, he wants more too. A lot more.

part 1 | part 2 - insatiable

wc: 6.1k, rating: explicit/18+

tags/warnings: established relationship, first times, virgin!spencer, early seasons spencer, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering praise kink, morning wood, morning sex, sex in unconventional places (like, not in public but not the bed lol), cunnilingus, creampie, implied multiple orgasms

a/n: no excuse for this insane fic but i was strangely inspired by a post i saw on twitter that i wanted to put a lighthearted (and horny) spin on. i definitely felt crazy writing this and i feel crazy posting this now so i sure hope you enjoy this insanity! (p.s you can also find this fic on ao3!)

You don’t mind that Spencer isn’t touchy. You understand, with Spencer being a germaphobe and a little socially awkward, that he isn’t inclined to kisses on the cheek or holding your hand. You’ve only been dating for three months, and he’s already getting better at doing these things, which makes your heart sing.

Spencer is sweet, willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. He used to shy away from your touch, but he’s gotten more comfortable with you. He lets you hold his hand when you’re out on a date, or he’ll kiss you chastely out in public. He lets you drape yourself over him when you’re sitting on the couch together watching a show, his arm around your waist to pull you in close.

While you can understand Spencer’s hesitance towards public displays of affection, due to his awkwardness and anxieties about germs, you’re surprised he hasn’t initiated anything more in the privacy of his apartment (or yours). You’re starting to itch for it, something more, your attraction to Spencer Reid simply too overwhelming for it to simply be sweet and innocent anymore. Your body craves him desperately, because he’s so lovely and so fucking handsome. You’ve caught yourself staring at his hands more than once.

Tonight, you decide you’ll get what you want. You’re going to fuck Spencer Reid.

With your head buried in his shoulder during movie night, your hand runs down his body, getting dangerously close to his crotch – he jumps up off the couch, almost comedic, and stares at you like your touch had burned him. He looks positively freaked out.

“Spencer,” you say, very confused that he’s not into this. What kind of man doesn’t like his girlfriend initiating sex? Hell, what kind of man doesn’t like sex?

“I just–” Spencer pauses, like he’s struggling to find the words. “I can’t. Not right now, I–”

“Hey, it’s okay.” You assure him. “We don’t have to. Ever, if that’s what you want.”

His eyes widen again. “No! I want to, just– It’s difficult, right now.”

You cock your head slightly. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Spencer frowns slightly, seeming to know that talking about it is the most rational thing to do, but it’s not like that makes him want to do it. “Well, I– I’ve never done it before.”

Your mouth falls open, just a little, and you look up at him. While you don’t mean to judge, it certainly isn’t surprising. Spencer was fourteen when he was starting university, and his general awkward demeanour and extreme nerdiness would likely rule out any sexual encounters for him during his time in college. Spencer’s line of work would clearly make it difficult for him to maintain a relationship – you definitely lucked out with getting to date him – and he’s too much of a softie for one night stands. So, Spencer Reid being a virgin at twenty-seven definitely checks out.

“That’s okay,” you say softly. “It’s totally normal.”

Spencer’s lips press into a thin line. “Well, you know it took me a while to get used to being affectionate with you, so I think–”

“Being intimate with someone else is going to be a hurdle you’ll need time to cross, too?”

Spencer looks up at you, eyes wet, looking at you like you’ve read him like an open book. He whispers, “Yeah.”

“That’s okay,” you repeat, even though you’re trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to fuck Spencer Reid tonight. “I’ll– We’ll take it slow, if you want to try.”

“Yes, please.” He has a small smile on his lips as he looks up at you. “I– We could try doing something tonight, too. I just– I wasn’t expecting it earlier. I’m sorry for pushing you off like that.”

You shake your head, reassuring him that you aren’t offended by it by any means. Then, you ask, “You’re sure you want to try? Tonight?”

Spencer nods, as he reaches for your hand. He holds it gently, resting it on his thigh. “Yeah. I haven’t– It’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone, but I want to, with you.”

You lean in to kiss his cheek gently. “I’m glad you trust me.”

His eyes are soft and syrupy when he meets your gaze. “Of course I trust you.”

You squeeze Spencer’s thigh before pressing your lips to his, the familiarity of kissing Spencer making you both ease up a little more. Your kiss is gentle, sweet, just like every other kiss you've shared, but you let your hand slide up his thigh as you kiss him, and you can feel Spencer tensing up under your touch. You squeeze his thigh to reassure him, and you feel Spencer wriggle underneath where you're leaning your body weight on him to loosen up.

Your hand skirts over his crotch, a hardness under your palm that makes you feel somewhat proud of yourself. Spencer’s breathing is heavy as he keeps kissing you, and keeps letting you touch him. You think he’s so cute. You just want to make him feel good.

You push the waistband of his sweats down, tugging him out of his pants. His cock is the same shade of red as his cheeks, his shyness turning you on extremely.

He doesn’t look down at himself, where you’re holding him – instead, his eyes are intently focused on your face. You don’t push him about it, instead leaning forward to kiss him as you start to stroke his cock.

This time, it feels desperate. Spencer kisses you with more fervour, like a fire’s been lit within him, the pleasure running through his veins almost like liquid courage as he kisses you deeply. You’re more than happy to be doing this, letting Spencer lick into your mouth while you jerk him off. You appreciate the weight of him in your hand, imagining him inside of you – but perhaps you’re getting ahead of yourself.

“You can touch me, Spence,” you say, in between Spencer kissing you fervently. His hands have been cupping your face, but otherwise he seems awkward with them. You pull back slightly, and while it’s adorable that he’s still holding your face sweetly, you drag his hands down to your chest, in the oversized t-shirt you’d stolen from Spencer’s drawer. “Like this.”

Spencer’s large hands cup your breasts through the shirt perfectly. He squeezes tentatively. You bite your lip as his palms brush over your nipples, as he manhandles you just a little. It’s more force than you’re used to from Spencer, kneading and squeezing and feeling you, and that makes your head spin.

Daringly, Spencer’s hands slip under your shirt, as he leans back in to kiss you. You feel his calloused hands on your skin as he feels you up, making you shudder. His touch isn’t demanding nor pushy, simply exploratory as he feels your soft skin under his fingertips.

Your arousal is pumping through your system, Spencer’s gentle submissiveness like a drug you can’t kick. The more you touch him, the more he reacts; touching you more, whimpering and gasping against your lips, into your neck.

“Come on, baby,” you coo in his ear, your hand speeding up on Spencer’s hardness. He’s leaking pathetically, wet in your palm, and he squirms underneath you.

“I’m– It’s too–” Spencer cuts himself off with a helpless whine, like he can’t control himself. His hands grip your waist tight. “Please–”

“Mm,” you hum sympathetically, while you thoroughly enjoy seeing Spencer like this. “Wanna cum like this, baby?”

Spencer’s breathing hard. He can’t get the words out, but he shakes his head. You slow your strokes, to an excruciating pressure on his length. “No? Then tell me, Spence.”

“Inside you,” He gasps, eyes squeezed shut.

You absolutely should not let Spencer fuck you for the first time on his couch, but he’s desperate and your resolve is steadily crumbling. “You– You’re sure?”

“Please,” Spencer gasps, his eyes pleading with you helplessly.

So, you pull your hand back and push your shorts off instead. Your panties come off in one fell swoop, and you sit back onto the couch with your legs spread. Spencer’s eyes are wide and his lips are parted as he looks at you, takes the sight of you in.

Then he’s like a baby deer, standing up and fumbling to get his sweatpants off. You can’t help but giggle at his awkward movements, in his excitement and eagerness to get to touch you, to get to fuck you. He’s quick to get between your legs, his hardness nudging at your entrance already.

“Mm, not yet, Spence,” you hum. You reach for his hand, taking his wrist as you guide his fingers to your clit. “You know what to do, right?”

He turns his wrist so his fingers – God, his fingers – are poised almost elegantly above your clit. He presses down and starts to circle his fingers against you. You gasp.

“Thought you didn’t– oh– Didn’t have much experience,” you gasp. You hold onto Spencer’s forearm tight, throwing your head back as Spencer pleasures you.

Spencer huffs out a laugh. “I might not be experienced, but I’m not a prude– I remember the… stuff I’ve seen. Eidetic memory and all.”

“Stuff,” you laugh. “I’m sure the porn you’ve watched must’ve helped, darling.”

He slips his fingers into your wetness with an unsurprising ease, considering how turned on you are by him. He hits spots inside you you’ve never thought were possible to reach, but they make electricity zip up your spine. You moan as he crooks his fingers into you, rocking them in and out with a wet squelch.

Spencer grins at you. “You were saying?”

“You’re a cocky bastard, you know that?” you huff, your tone teetering between awfully turned on and mildly annoyed.

“You like it,” Spencer says, assured of himself, and you smile, because you really do.

“My love,” you moan, as Spencer presses his fingers into you, back out. “You should try fucking me now.”

Spencer’s fingers are still inside of you, and his eyes are wide as he looks up at you. “You think so?”

You smile at him. “If you think you’re up for it.”

You mourn the loss of Spencer’s fingers, but as he’s mumbling to himself and lining his cock up with your entrance, you can only coo at how adorable you find all of this. And how turned on you are, but that’s more than obvious to the both of you by now.

He looks to you, like he’s looking for reassurance. You nod. Even in the silence, he’s gotten the confidence to push his cock into you, the thickness of his tip breaching your hole. You gasp as you stretch around him, your cunt making space for him as he slides in, excruciatingly slow. “Spencer–”

Spencer lets out a whine as your tight heat engulfs him, his length swallowed up by you as he sinks deeper into you. “Oh, my God–”

“Just like that, baby,” you moan, your leg hooking around Spencer’s leg to coax him forward, closer to you. “Fuck.”

“Do I– When should I–” Spencer gasps, unable to form a coherent sentence with the pleasure swimming through his bloodstream.

“You can start moving when you don’t feel like you’re going to blow your load if you breathe the wrong way,” you joke, but Spencer does seriously look like he’s going to finish any second. “Hey. Deep breaths, baby.”

Spencer’s brows are furrowed and his eyes are squeezed shut as he breathes in hard, in through his nose and out through his mouth. He’d told you to do that when he’d helped you through a panic attack one time, and while you feel bad that he feels so nervous about all this, it’s extremely amusing to you right now.

“Look at me,” you say, trying your best not to laugh. “You’re doing great, love.”

Spencer pulls his lower lip between his teeth, his eyes looking to you for validation.

“So good for me, darling,” you coo, your hand on his hip, while your thumb draws little circles into his skin. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” Spencer shudders, voice high-pitched and a little breathy. “I– You feel really good.”

“Yeah? It’ll feel even better when you start moving, sweetheart,” you hum. “You think you can do that for me? Slow, out then back in.”

Spencer whimpers, nodding, and he takes another deep breath in. His hands on your waist, he pulls out halfway before pressing back into you, and he moans so loudly your ears ring. “So– So tight, you–”

“That’s good, yeah? Feels good?” you coo. “Come on, baby. More.”

Spencer rests one of his arms on the back of the couch, holding himself steady and getting him that much closer to you. He starts to thrust in and out, starting off slow as he finds a rhythm.

His thrusts are erratic, but you’re so wildly turned on and it still feels amazing, because it’s Spencer.

Spencer is frantic, desperate, bracing himself against the couch as he fucks into you. Maybe pounding into you is a better phrase to use, because he’s fucking you like a madman, till the couch is squeaking under both your weight. You cry out, feeling Spencer drilling into you – and it feels so good.

“Oh, God,” Spencer whines. “You– It’s so good, oh–”

“Yeah, baby?” You rock your hips along with him, burying Spencer deeper into you. You clench so each thrust is a little tighter, and each time Spencer fucks into you, he moans a little louder.

Amidst Spencer’s whines and pretty noises, you watch his face morph with pleasure, feeling assured that he’s enjoying this as much as you are. In fact, he’s probably enjoying this more. As you’re lost in your train of thought, admiring Spencer’s gorgeous face, you’re startled when you feel Spencer’s load inside of you, hot and slick. His hips flush against your ass, Spencer shudders as he rides out his orgasm, body trembling from the force of his pleasure.

“Oh, Spence,” you giggle, a little dizzy from how turned on you are, from watching Spencer lose himself just like that. You reach up to cup his face, your thumb gentle on his cheek. “Was that good?”

“Oh,” Spencer mumbles, seemingly brought back to reality. He pulls back, taking the sight of you in. “I’m– I’m good, I’m sorry–”

“Don’t be,” you say. “You’re so cute. It’s so hot.”

“I mean, you are too, but– But you haven’t–”

“You wanna make it up to me, then?” You smile, gentle and warm and Spencer nods like he’s eager to please you.

You kiss him while he pulls out, replacing the thickness of his cock with two fingers, which fit into you easily. Like before, Spencer presses his fingers into you, slick and wet and squelchy. Spencer curls them and fingerfucks you like a pro, like he’s done this a hundred times. With his face pressed into your shoulder and your arms slung around his neck, Spencer fucks you on his fingers until your toes are curling and you’re screaming his name. You cry out as you orgasm, shaking as Spencer fucks you through it.

You’re almost embarrassed when you finally come back to your senses, no longer reeling from the intensity of your orgasm. Spencer is kissing your jawline sweetly, his clean hand stroking your hair.

“Hey,” Spencer says softly, somehow knowing you needed to hear him. He parrots you from earlier, “Was– Was that good?”

“So good, my love,” you murmur into his shoulder. Then, after a quiet moment, “I thought you needed some time to get comfortable with being intimate.”

Spencer pauses for a moment, like he’s pondering it, before he says, “I know. But for you, I think I’d do anything.”

That’s all Spencer manages to get out before you kiss him again. It’s tender and sweet, the intensity behind your kiss no longer lustful but full of adoration and love. You feel like you could sob right now, but you manage to hold it back.

Spencer gets into the shower with you, which you’re surprised by, but his hands are soft on your body as he cleans you up. You shampoo his hair for him, even though he has to lean forward a little so you can reach.

You end up falling asleep in Spencer’s bed, curled up in his arms.

You don’t dream at night, but when you wake up with a hardness poking against your thigh and Spencer’s gentle snoring in your ear, you think you might be.

In your dreariness, you reach behind you, the angular sharpness of Spencer’s hip bone under your palm. He’s warm, cuddled up against you, and the tickling of his breath on your neck tells you that this isn’t a dream.

“Spence,” you whisper, shaking him slightly. You watch as he blinks himself awake, drowsy as he comes to focus on your face. “Hey.”

“Good morning,” Spencer says, his voice rough with disuse. “What’s up?”

“You are,” you smile, a little too pleased, as your hand snakes down toward his crotch.

He squeaks at the contact, your soft hand on his hardness, “Um, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” you laugh. “Had a good dream?”

He pulls his lower lip between his teeth. “About you, yeah.”

“Wanna tell me about it?” you goad, wiggling your eyebrows.

Spencer’s cheeks somehow get even redder than they already were, but he shakes his head. “I want– I want to have sex, though.”

Your eyes widen. “Now?”

“Do you have the time for it?” He asks, sheepish. “I– I want to fuck you again.”

Your cheeks flush at Spencer’s sudden crudeness. You think about what Spencer could’ve possibly dreamt up, wonder how Spencer could possibly be confident enough to tell you straight up that he wants to fuck you. That phrase probably hadn’t been in Spencer’s lexicon until about twelve hours ago – while Spencer was smart – a literal genius – his innocence was completely understandable.

“We have time,” you exhale, looking back into his eyes after looking at the clock. “I only have to be at the office in a couple of hours.”

“Good,” Spencer says, leaning in to kiss down your neck. His hands are frisky already, slipping underneath your shirt. Spencer splays his hands over your stomach, before reaching up to cup your breasts in his hands.

“You like touching me like this, don’t you, baby?” you chuckle breathlessly, already feeling weak in the knees from the way Spencer holds you. “Mm, I’m surprised.”

“Why is that?” His words are slightly muffled against your skin, too busy kissing you to make himself sound coherent. His hands are rough against the softness of your skin, and you moan from the way he’s handling you.

“Yesterday you couldn’t even tell me you wanted to fuck,” you croon, thoroughly pleased. “And now you’re touching me like you know what you’re doing. It’s so hot.”

“I– I just can’t get enough of you,” Spencer admits, his earnest words turning you on extremely.

“Now you’re just horny,” you laugh, feeling Spencer’s hand slide over your underwear.

“Mm, you’re so wet right now too,” Spencer murmurs in your ear, his warm breath and raspy voice sending a shiver down your spine. Where’d he learn to talk like that? You squeeze your thighs together, but that doesn’t stop Spencer from feeling the wetness between your legs, soaking through your panties.

“All for you, baby,” you gasp, as Spencer’s fingers slip past the band of your underwear, deftly stroking your clit. “Spencer–”

“Can I fuck you? Please?” He pleads, breathy, his hips already rutting forward against your ass.

His eagerness makes your head spin, his sudden confidence in the realm of sex surprising – maybe it’s cockiness, but you still find that stupidly attractive – but it is certainly welcomed.

“Yes, Spence, please,” you shudder, the word yes leaving your lips enough for Spencer to pull your underwear down, over the swell of your ass. He fumbles with his own boxers for a moment, but soon you feel his hard, leaking tip pressed to your butt. He rocks his hips back and forth, desperately seeking whatever friction he can get.

Lost in his own pleasure, Spencer is quick to slide his cock between your legs, the wetness from your cunt making it easy for him to rut into the tight, slick space. Like this, his length rubs up against you, the head of his cock nudging at your clit with every thrust of his hips. It feels primal, Spencer so far gone that he isn’t even fucking you proper, content with the slick, tight space between your thighs and your pussy. You wonder if you need to tell him, but Spencer’s groan in your ear is shaky as his tip catches on your hole.

His arms wrapped around you, both of you moan as Spencer finally sinks his cock into you. He slides in too easily, so easily you almost think he’d hadn’t meant to do it. Maybe he hadn’t, but you’d gotten there in the end, where you both need to be; Spencer buried inside of you.

It’s so different from yesterday, the angle when he presses into you from behind so exhilarating, so good. He’s just as desperate as last night, but there’s a sort of reckless confidence in his movements. His hands slide under your shirt to grab at your tits again, rocking his hips while he practically gropes you. It’s so hot your head spins. You feel like you’re going to explode.

“Spencer!” You cry out, your voice ripping its way out of your throat. Pleasure surges through you like electricity, Spencer’s thick cock hitting all the right spots from this angle. His eager desperation turns you on to no end, as you let him take you from behind. While you weren’t expecting lazy, morning sex at all, the intensity and desperation he fucks you with right now makes you think you could get used to this.

Spencer’s whine has your head spinning. His hips don’t slow, more rhythmic than yesterday but still as needy. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Yeah?” You coo breathlessly. You’re so fucking turned on, and every time Spencer drives his hips into you you can hear how wet you really are. “You’re doing so good for me, Spence, fucking me so good.”

“You like it? Is it good?” Spencer gasps, always so eager to please you.

“So good,” you moan. You’re still sore from last night, but the pleasure Spencer is giving you right now overrides all of that. You would love for him to wake you up like this every day. “I’m close, baby.”

“Oh,” Spencer says, like he’s surprised you’re already getting off on this, on him– “What do you need me to do?”

“Just keep going, Spence,” you gasp. “Keep fucking me just like this.”

Spencer’s hum is breathy, high-pitched. Somehow, his grip on you gets tighter, holding you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. The force he fucks you with is so wildly arousing. You’re so enamoured, and so turned on.

Your orgasm creeps up on you, slow and steady as it bubbles up inside of you. You squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the dirty, rough way Spencer fucks you, and then you feel his soft lips on your neck again. He isn’t properly kissing you – more like slobbering all over your neck, but you cry out as he does so, thighs pressing together as you reach your orgasm. You’re shaking through it, clenching around Spencer as you come, and Spencer’s gasping as your tight pussy pushes Spencer over the edge too. You feel his come inside of you, cock twitching as his load spurts hot and heavy into your cunt. You sob, feeling Spencer slow his thrusts as he rides out his orgasm.

“Holy shit,” you say, your voice coming out ragged and hoarse. You feel like a different woman, being fucked ruthlessly by your boyfriend in his bed for the first time. You can’t get enough.

“I love you,” Spencer says quietly, earnest. It makes you shudder.

“You’re crazy,” you laugh, taken aback at how Spencer’s returned to his gentle, soft self. “I love you too, you madman.”

“I can’t resist you,” he murmurs in your ear, the vibrations of his raspy morning voice almost soothing.

You turn around to face him, Spencer still holding you in his arms. He smiles warmly at you, and you lean in to kiss him. “You’re so cute.”

“Wanna go again?” he asks, somewhat timid.

Your eyes widen. You try to hide your grin, but it doesn’t work. “Someone’s desperate, huh?”

Spencer flushes a gorgeous red. “Maybe a little?”

“I have to get ready for work,” you sigh, actually a little bummed that you can't spend all day fucking Spencer. “Maybe tonight?”

“Okay,” Spencer smiles. “Want me to drive you back to yours?”

You grin. “You’re the best!”

Work is relatively uneventful, numbers and Excel spreadsheets; and all you can think about is Spencer’s rapid change in demeanour over the last twelve hours, his innocence torn away by you, leaving behind a horny, insatiable man. You’re kind of proud of yourself for that.

So, you can’t blame yourself for being excited to get back to Spencer’s. Lately, you’ve been staying over more, your apartment simply a place to house your wardrobe. Maybe you’ll talk to Spencer about living together.

“Hey, Spence,” you say, pleased when Spencer kisses you as he greets you at the door.

Even with all the probable germs on you from being out all day, Spencer’s surprisingly clingy, hands on your waist as he stumbles in behind you, as you set the takeout you’d brought over on his dining table. Spencer leans in behind you, kissing your cheek then down your neck.

“Hey, what’s with you, baby?” you chuckle, very much enjoying the way Spencer’s hands slide down your waist to your hips, grabbing the meat of your thighs through your dress pants.

“Missed you,” Spencer answers simply, but even you can tell there’s something in his voice that implies he’s looking for something more.

“I’m sorry I had to leave you alone the whole day, my love. I’m sure you must’ve found something to busy yourself with, though?” You hum, teasing. You have a good idea of where this is going.

Spencer’s quiet for a moment, so you turn to look at him. His lips are pressed into a thin line, looking almost nervous, and his cheeks are flushed red. Spencer finally presses his body close to yours, and you feel it–

“Spence,” you grin, “Someone’s happy to see me.”

“Thought about it– Thought about you all day,” Spencer mumbles. “You promised.”

“What did I promise, baby?” you egg him on, eager to hear him say it, even though you definitely know what he’s going to ask.

“That we would do it again tonight,” he answers, but you shoot him a look. “You said we would have sex again tonight.”

“Twice in one day? I don’t know, baby,” you pretend to sound disinterested.

Spencer looks at you with wide eyes. Respectful as ever, he clears his throat. “Please? If you’re tired we don’t have to, but I really want to. Only if you want to, though. This involves both of us, I don’t want to impose–”

You giggle, reaching to hold his hands. “God, you’re perfect.”

“What–?” Spencer barely gets the word out before you’re kissing him. He’s happy to do so, holding your face gently, matching your energy perfectly. You feel his cock pressing against you.

“I turned you into a sex fiend,” you laugh, between kissing him, “And you’re still thinking about making sure I’m into it too.”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer’s brows furrow slightly, like he can’t comprehend how he could be into it if you weren’t too. “And I- I’m not a sex fiend, I just–”

Smiling, you whisper sultrily, “I think you should take me right here, baby.”

“Oh–” You cut Spencer off with another kiss, and he squeaks as you reach for his half-hard cock through his sweatpants. You’re positively delighted that Spencer’s like this, for you.

Spencer kisses you deeply, leaning forward until the small of your back hits the edge of the table. His hands coming up to your ass, he lifts you up, getting you to lay back on the table. You gasp, as Spencer kisses down the column of your neck, his hands making quick work of the buttons of your dress shirt. His lips are soft against your skin, at the swell of your breasts. Your shirt gets pushed off your shoulders. You feel him unhook your bra with a surprising ease, tossed aside, and then his hands are grabbing your tits like they were made for him. His thumbs brush over your nipples, a little forceful as he kneads at you, and your head is spinning.

“Spencer,” you moan, as he kisses down your stomach, unbuttoning your pants to reveal your soaked-through underwear. He smiles up at you, his messy mop of hair a lovely sight.

“Can I…?” Spencer’s big brown eyes dart down to where you’re soaked, then back up at you.

Your eyes widen. “Yes. If you want to.”

Spencer grins. “Of course I want to.”

His fingers are gentle on your hips as he pulls your panties off, wasting no time in spreading your legs so he can get between them. Your eyes are wide as you watch him, feeling kind of self-conscious over how eager he is to be doing this. Knelt between your thighs, he lifts one of your legs and swings them over his shoulder. You can feel his stubble on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his nose nudging against your clit. His tongue comes up, wet and hot, as he tastes you for the first time. “Spencer��”

He presses his face impossibly closer, more urgent in eating you out. You watch as his eyes flutter shut, his jaw flexing as his tongue works on you, and you’re trembling already. Spencer’s extremely good with his mouth, and you’re surprised at how good he’s making you feel, considering he likely hasn’t done this before. The sounds of his mouth are wet and squelchy and so obscene, and you would feel almost embarrassed, were it not for how into this Spencer seems to be too,

With your hands in his hair, you cry out when Spencer’s tongue circles your swollen clit, jolts of pleasure sent through your body. You can’t think straight when Spencer’s face is buried between your legs, eating you out like he was made for this. All you can think about is how gifted Spencer is with his tongue, and how you wish you could do this all night.

“Please, love,” you moan, “Need you to fuck me.”

Spencer hums in approval, the vibrations between your legs making you jump. He makes a little wet slurping noise before he comes back up, and you feel your cunt throb when he looks up at you with his lovely, wide brown eyes, and his chin wet and messy with your slick. Spencer wipes his face with the back of his hand, and you’re so turned on you might just explode.

“I love you,” you tell him earnestly. “I think this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done. I love you.”

“What is? Having sex on my dinner table?” Spencer quips, as he sets your legs down and stands back up. He has a cocky grin plastered on his face.

You roll your eyes playfully. “First time for everything, right?”

Spencer nods, smiling, before he leans forward to kiss you sweetly. You watch as he pulls his sweatpants down, his cock bobbing up, red and angry and rock hard. You feel yourself salivating at the sight, but decide that he needs to fuck you right now.

“Spencer,” you mewl, feeling breathless as you watch him wrap a hand around himself, stroking his length. Concentration is written all over his face and it makes you want to kiss him.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all day,” Spencer says, pressing his cock forward until he’s lined up with your entrance. It’s so tantalising, the way the blunt head of his cock threatens to slip into you. You’re so wet and so loose for him, and you need him inside of you now.

You gasp when he finally pushes in, his thick cock splitting you in half as he slides into you. The pressure is so perfect, the slow draw of his hips as he takes care not to rush, wanting to take care of you. Even with all this still being new for Spencer, he still focuses on you, puts you first. You’re not sure if you’re swooning over him, or the way his cock fits inside you perfectly.

You don’t need to encourage him to start moving. He rocks his hips slowly, somehow already familiar with your body, and makes you feel like you could explode with pleasure.

He leans forward, pressing his body to yours as he kisses you. Like this, Spencer presses into you deeper, fucks you slow and deep and loving. The edge of the table is absolutely digging into your back, but you don’t care when every sense of yours is filled with Spencer, getting to taste and touch and hear him. You taste yourself on his tongue, hear the sloppy way he thrusts into you, your skin burning wherever he’s pressed up against you.

Burying his face in your neck, Spencer pants in your ear, hot and heavy as he fucks you, giving you everything you need. Your head is swimming with arousal, as Spencer presses you against the table and fucks you like his life depends on it. “You feel so good, fuck, so good–”

“I’m so close, baby,” you cry out, the pace absolutely ruthless as Spencer fucks you. You didn’t think his stamina would be this good, considering your boyfriend’s lanky stature and abhorrence towards exercise. You certainly wouldn’t mind doing this kind of cardio with him more often. “Please, Spence–”

“Let go, I– I’m here for you,” Spencer stumbles over his words, but he’s so sweet that you’re losing yourself, your orgasm crashing into you like a tidal wave. You scream as you reach your peak, your toes curling while Spencer fucks you through it, shaking as pleasure and arousal zips through your body. Spencer’s hips stutter as the tightness of your pussy has him reeling, too close too quickly.

While his hips keep a steady pace, you’re feeling loopy as Spencer continues to fuck you. You hold his head close to you, kissing his forehead as you murmur, “You’re so hot, Spence. Made me come so quickly, and you held out for me? So good for me, baby. Are you close?”

Spencer whines, a pitiful noise in the back of his throat. “Please, I’m so close, need you–”

“I’m right here, baby,” you coo, stroking his sweat-matted hair sweetly. You’re so enamoured with him. “Gonna cum inside me, Spence? Fill me up with your–”

You don’t even get to finish your dirty talk before Spencer is moaning, coming inside of you. It feels like he’s released so much inside of you, hot and messy as he fucks you through his own high. His chest heaves as he pants, trembling as he reels from the intensity of his orgasm. Spencer’s hips slow to a stop, and he mouths at your neck mindlessly until he seems to get his bearings back. You imagine you must look a mess, sweat and spit all over you, your makeup from a long day of work likely running by now.

Spencer gets up off of you, so both of you have space to catch your breaths. You feel Spencer slip out of you with a slick ‘pop’, and feel his release trickle out of you just moments after. You stifle a quiet moan, but when you look up at Spencer, his eyes couldn’t possibly leave the sight between your legs. His lips are parted slightly, pupils blown wide, as he watches you drip with his release. You feel Spencer’s cock, resting against your inner thigh, twitch slightly.

“Woah there, cowboy,” you chuckle, out of breath. “Give me a minute to recover.”

His eyes practically twinkle when they dart up to look at you. He’s like an excited puppy as he asks, “Again?”

You shake your head, laughing, and sit up to kiss Spencer again. “Maybe we could try something new?”

Spencer grins, nodding eagerly. It definitely seems like he’s down for whatever, as long as it’s with you.

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