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ohnobjyx · 4 years ago

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you answer about celebrities being prudent with dating got me curious as western boys in bands, especially in the rock/alternative/rap scene, seem to have a reputation for dating/sleeping around a lot, do asian idols just not date/sleep around a lot or are they just better at hiding it because they are expected to?

Hi, anon! I’m slowly working through all the asks, but I remembered yours when I was watching this week hotpot episode from SDoC S3 (I’m wondering if I should write a post compiling all the candies, but I have so many asks pending).

To start with the answer, let’s put the disclaimer first: I don’t know celebrities, I’m a simple fan just like all of us. Whatever they do in their private life it’s their own thing, and I just simply try to place an objective view of their situation here.

Just a clarification: when we talk about idol or celebrity, I’m talking about those that are pretty successful in the industry (with their number of fans ranking in the millions). These are the tip of the iceberg in the industry however. The bulk of them have less fans, but are also less subjected to scrutiny by the public.

1. First of all they are prudent because it isn’t widely accepted as “good” that people date/sleep around a lot, especially among the older generations. However, many young people also feel that it’s unacceptable, and their opinions may vary from “they must be very promiscuous or they flicker a lot” to “if they haven’t been able to keep a relationship for long, there must be a problem with this person”.

2. We’ve already talked about the fact that celebrities are expected to uphold a clear and good moral example for their fans. They’ll be heavily criticized if they do things that aren’t socially approved, and it’ll impact negatively on their work prospects. So, I suppose that in the case any celebrity did date/sleep around, they’d have to be masters at hiding their “affairs”.

Let’s just imagine how a male idol’s gf fans (the type of fans that fantasize being their idol’s gf) would react if their idol publicly dated around with many girls. I don’t think that would end well.

3. Like I said at the beginning, I’m going to talk about those idols and celebrities that have more success in the industry.

So, when we talk about dating/sleeping around, there’s something that we can’t ignore: time.

I don’t know about the workload of the boy bands (especially, as you said, in the rock/alternative/rap scene) but the workload of an Asian idol is terrifying.

Let me show you a few examples:

a. Even before he debuted in the boy band, dd spent almost everyday hours dancing, no free weekends and barely vacations, since he was 13 and entered the company. As a child, he got myocarditis when he was learning to dance. As soon as he got discharged, he went back to dancing, and spent his summer vacations (just a month in China, btw, August) dancing from 1 pm to 9 pm everyday, to recover the lost ground (this really was a test for his love for dancing, but just imagine it: he could do 8 hours a day just because he liked it, how many hours would he pull when pressed by the company?)

b. To anyone unfamiliar with Asian culture, the Lunar New Year’s Eve is the most important celebration in Asian culture, a night when family gathers together to celebrate the arrival of the new year. Asian idols usually are full of work, even that same night, so they almost never spend the New Year’s Eve with their families. A famed actress (in her fifties), once said in a program: “my father died last year... and one of the things I regret the most is that I haven’t spent a single New Year’s Eve with him in the last 20 years”.

c. In 2015, a year after his debut with Uniq, dd posted on w/ibo: “Just another year that I can’t be with my parents on New Year’s Eve... just a little sad” (and from what I know, he hadn’t spent a single New Year’s Eve at home since his debut).

d. I don’t know if any of you are familiar with Running Man, another c-variety show that’s very popular in China (I recommended it, btw). They did a night-life special last year, and when the director announced the theme (that they’d start filming by 4 pm and continue through the night), the host were like “just that?”:

“Then like our usual jobs”, “I can stay awake longer than an owl”, “I’m also good at spending all-nighters”.

One of them actually said: it seems that they don’t really get what an actor’s job is... everyone say how many days and nights have you gone by without sleeping in you busiest times? Angelababy (that’s her stage name, yes): “When I was a model... I really spent three days and three nights without a single moment of sleep.” Li Chen: “Before I came here to film yesterday, I spent 4 days filming night scenes for my drama, so 4 nights without sleep.”

Song Yuqi: “If we count sleeping an hour a day... I went a full week without a full night of sleep. Yesterday was the longest I’ve been sleeping in the last month”.

Their attitude is what surprises me the most, to be honest... It’s like, “of course we would spend a whole night awake, no problem!”

e. One of the previous hosts from this show once said that from his daughter’s birth to her first birthday the amount of time he spent with her totalled to three months.

4. I actually remembered your ask yesterday when I was watching the hotpot episode because of this:

The hosts mentioned getting back at their hotels after filming at 6 am (I think they had been filming the episode during the day and most of the night, and wanted to film a part of the dance using the first daylight). Actually, dd was talking about ZYX making noise in his room practicing dance moves at 6 am (wtf dude, you just pulled an all-nighter, please sleep).

There was a stalker photo of dd taken at 3 am when dd was coming out of the filming site for SDoC S3, one of the other day (just imagine it: you’re leaving the workplace, after a hard day of work, and instead of getting into the car peacefully you have to escape from these people).

This kind of workload is insane. When they aren’t filming, they are travelling to filming sites, filming tv shows episodes, filming commercials, doing interviews, photoshoots, practicing whatever show is coming up next, reading scripts, and a long list of things they do. Almost without a single moment to rest.

I remember an interview of another actor, in which he said that if he had a free moment in his schedule or a free day, he spent it sleeping and talking with his family.

I’m not saying that with this kind of schedule keeping a relationship is absolutely impossible, but it resembles greatly a long distance relationship, no matter where your home actually is. So dating around a lot is quite of... difficult? (at least in my opinion). And about sleeping around... maybe it’s just me, but if I had a free night with their workload... I’d pass out as soon as I was in my room, and that’s all the sleeping I can envision.

(Btw, this kind of work pace is a trend in China. I've been told that it’s actually common to have surgeons doing 36-hour shifts... here I was thinking that 24h shifts were outrageous).

5. However, it’s not impossible. It wasn’t so long ago that a scandal got out about an actor who was married and with an adult son AND still had time to keep a mistress.

I hope I haven’t rambled too much, anon, and that you find my answer useful!

Edit (thanks to @gremlin-02!): “you're missing the part about propaganda. chinese idols have to hold up "chinese culture/good morals/examples of good citizens" they are not gonna be promoting a play boy idol since it "corrupts" the family values and state system.”

You are absolutely right, and it’s also a point that supports the second part of this post. We tend to forget about it, but the national propaganda has shaped the country from its core. Without it, the country would be very different today. Not better or worse, just... different, since propaganda, for all its bad reputation, has played a large part in their economic growth and their position in the world economy today.

#ask #my post #I think I should create a tag for this kind of asks #c-culture #those who have questions (short or related to post) can leave a comment and I'll try to answer them when I can

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getreadytosmash · 4 years ago

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💍 + Samuel & Rhys ][normal or Leader-verse][

@blind-mutant

send me 💍 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they get married

By a lake in the countryside! Samuel loves the ocean but he knows Rhys hates it so a lake is their compromise (although Samuel would love to teach Rhys a bit about swimming tbh)

when they get married ( ie what time of day, what month and season etc. )

Late March since its early spring, the lake would be nice in midday and closer to home so it isn't too hot or cold around then.

what traditions they include ( do they get married under a chuppah and crush a glass, garter toss, ‘something borrowed, something blue,’ etc. )

Rick says that he's the something blue so Samuel rolls his eyes but ends up giving Rhys a seashell necklace that his mother used to make before she disappeared.

what their wedding cake looks like

They have a hazelnut, coffee and caramel cake! Their favourite flavours and something that looks really aesthetically pleasing to Samuel!

….who smashes cake into whose face

Rhys does because he's a gremlin who giggles too cutely when Samuel gasps and takes him into his arms to wreck offense.

who proposed to who first

Rhys did because I honestly dont think Samuel will ever wreck up the courage to propose. 100% Rhys did something super romantic and then whipped out the proposal so hard that Samuel snorted from purring.

who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar ( or neither )

Samuel suggests Jen doing it or Hulk but then Rhys just "no we're going tougher". No wait. Only walk.

what their wedding dresses / suits / other look like

Samuel goes for something a little lighter than his usual purple (orange and black are work schemes after all Rhys!) While Rhys practically sucker punches Samuel, looking so good in a suit and Samuel's weak for his hair done in different styles.

what their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have

Dark blue with the same shades of purple/brown that the boys have! Samuel gets full reign of anything that Rhys can't see so he takes advantage of it immediately.

what flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? )

Samuel gets a lot of pale flowers (to match his lover's beauty! - Samuel before being smooched to death by Rhys) like ranunculus and chrysanthemum and black roses because Rhys demanded them.

what their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. )

Samuel takes Rhys's hands and gives a small speech,using a poet's quote I imagine and how it's a good representation of how he feels for Rhys.

Rhys lists all the things he loves about Samuel, including the fact that he loves lists so much, and talks about how special he feels to be loved and that he's going to do his best to make Samuel feel the same way.

if anyone’s late to the wedding

Samuel almost is and that's due to him and Rick actually trying to find a four leafed clover as a little charm and piece of Ireland before Rhys rolls his eyes emotionally because what do you think Samuel is then???

who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other

Rick, Betty and Red are with Samuel while Rhys has Hulk, Jen and Skaar (and some of Leader's villain friends show up too.)

what their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing

Samuel and Rhys are bastards who wanted their guests to look like paddington.

who gives speeches at the reception ( bonus: what do they say? recount a sweet memory or two between them? tell an embarrassing story? )

Rick does as "Samuel's Brain Buddy" and so does Hulk and Betty, all of them are embarrassing stories.

who catches the bouquet( s )

Skaar,,,literally jumped in the air and caught it while the boys stared and flicked a look over at each other.

what their wedding photos are like ( are they sweet, with the couple holding hands or kissing or ~gazing into each others eyes~? are they silly, with a snapshot of the ‘cake-smash’ moment? or are they artistic, with one of them facing the sunset or holding their bouquets? )

Samuel definitely gets some beautiful shots of them over the lake and by the trees but there's also a lot of them of Samuel blushing and looking delighted as Rhys gives him longer (and dirtier) kisses throughout the day.

what sort of food they have at the reception

A lot of "snack" foods since Rhys and Samuel bond over those types of foods along with a lot of meats and fish dishes!

who cries first during the ceremony

Rhys does and then it quickly spreads over to Samuel who tears up not long.

how wild their reception gets ( who dances the best, who gets drunk first, etc. )

It definitely gets wild once everyone knows that they'll be fully safe and free to party. They get mead so suddenly you have a drunk Jen trying to cut her slice of the cake with Skaar's sword.

what their rings are like

Samuel wants to give Rhys a beautiful ring and he insists that his own should be small and simple since rings wouldn't be that good for him.

what sort of favours they have ( heart shaped sparklers, mini champagne bottles, personalised candy etc. )

They get special boxes of flavoured chocolates and Samuel definitely gets Red to "give a gift" of physical sparklers so Rhys can gets a sense of hearts in the air.

where they go for their honeymoon

Rhys gets to pick since Samuel's options always end up connecting to work in some way.

something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony ( do they run out of ice and someone goes to get it in full formal wear on foot, does anyone fall asleep in the middle of the party, etc. )

Rick gets thrown into the lake and while Samuel spends a good hour whining ag him for it, Rhys slips Red twenty bucks to Red.

who officiates the ceremony

Jen does!

what song their first dance is to

Don't pull your love.

who gives who away as they walk down the aisle

No one,,,or maybe they give each other to the other?

#ask #blind-mutant #he swims in a sea of regret (leader)#wedding meme #headcanon

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

https://ift.tt/3q2Rba0

So, maybe there isn’t enough Christmas and holiday programming on TV for your liking. We get it. You can’t be stuck at the mercy of broadcasters and cable networks all the time, not when there are so many Christmas movies to watch, right?

Christmas Movies and TV Specials: Full 2020 Schedule

By Den of Geek Staff

Movies

Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

Well, because we’re a little crazy, we’re working on an index of every Christmas movie and other piece of seasonally appropriate holiday-themed film available on various streaming services. Just bookmark this page, scroll on through the alphabetical list, hit the links, and it can be Christmas whenever you need it to be! And if you spot some stuff that we missed, just let us know in the comments and we’ll see about getting it all added for you.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Hulu

What is it about the holidays that makes it feel like we’re on the verge of the end of the world? Regardless, if you’re going to capture Christmas season ennui in a movie, you might as well go all out. That’s exactly what British holiday film Anna and the Apocalypse aims to do. Anna is a Christmas zombie musical comedy. Because why have one genre when you can have them all?

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Hulu

By Alec Bojalad

Movies

Run Review: Sarah Paulson Terrifies as Mommie Dearest in Hulu Movie

By Don Kaye

Ella Hunt stars as Anna Shepherd, a secondary school graduate who plans to embark on a grand travel tour before heading to university. Those plans come to a grinding halt, however, when a zombie infection starts to spread throughout her town. Anna gets together with some friends as they try to survive both the holidays and the encroaching zombie apocalypse.

Black Mirror: White Christmas (2014)

Netflix

Those looking for Christmas cheer won’t find it here. Black Mirror isn’t necessarily known for its happy endings and it’s 2014 Christmas special, “White Christmas” is no different.

Still, there is an audience out there that definitely wants this level of Scroogery. Plus it stars Jon Hamm! “White Christmas” follows three seemingly disparate stories. Jon Hamm is Matt, a mysterious man with a mysterious job who viewers watch in three different environments: once as a gross pick-up artist helper, once as a digital “cookie” salesman, and once as an occupant in a cozy cabin on Christmas Day.

What do all of these have to do with Christmas? Watch and find out. Then weep for the collapse of humanity.

A Charlie Brown Christmas Special (1965)

Apple TV+ – Arriving Dec. 4

“A Charlie Brown Christmas Special” is one of the most enduring holiday classics in the pop culture canon. Originally airing in 1965 on CBS, it was an experiment from The Coca-Cola Company to see if Charles M. Schulz’s beloved Peanuts characters could carry their charm over to a new medium…and boy could they.

The half-hour picks up with Charlie Brown down in the dumps and unable to capture the Christmas spirit. Thankfully, his friends know just what to do. Soon ol’ Chuck is directing the school Christmas play and nabbing a pitiful Christmas tree with Linus. This is “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special’s” first year as primarily a streaming entity, though Apple TV+ is allowing it to air on PBS on Dec. 13.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Netflix

If a Christmas movie is only as good as its Santa (surely someone out there abides by this rule), then Netflix’s The Christmas Chronicles is one heck of a Christmas movie. This family film produced by Chris Columbus features Kurt Russell ascending to his final form as Hot Santa Claus.

New on Netflix: November 2020 Releases

By Alec Bojalad

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Netflix

By Alec Bojalad

The plot follows two children who are struggling to believe in the magic of Christmas after the death of their firefighter father. But the spirit of the season seizes them when they encounter the ultimate stand-in father figure: Kurt Russell Santa. The Christmas Chronicles is your classic, by-the-book family holiday yarn with a fun actor at the center and elevated production quality. Its sequel is also available to stream on Netflix.

Doctor Who Christmas Specials

HBO Max

If the British know one thing, it’s tea. If they know two things, it’s tea and Christmas specials. Many big-time U.K. television shows have their own excellent holiday specials. Decades-old sci-fi institution Doctor Who, however, takes the cake when it comes to Christmas excellence.

HBO Max has 12 seasons worth of Doctor Who Christmas specials dating all the way back to the modern continuation’s first Doctor, Christopher Eccleston. Each episode is an hour-long treat of Doctor Who and Christmas goodies and should the joy of watching them ever peter out, there are plenty of bonus materials to watch as well.

Frozen (2013)

Disney+

Frozen, an animated movie you might have heard of, technically takes place during summer. But it sure doesn’t feel that way after Queen Elsa freezes the fjord and belts songs about the snowmen she and her sister want to build. Indeed, there is hardly a more festive film for the holidays than this celebration of self-love and familial love. Rather than being the story of a princess falling for a prince, Frozen is about the love between two sisters, Elsa (Idina Menzel) and Anna (Kristen Bell), and how that bond can transcend fear, isolation, and lifelong trauma like losing your parents at an early age.

Movies

Christmas Movies on Disney+ Streaming Guide

By David Crow

Movies

Frozen 2: ‘Show Yourself’ Song Was Almost Cut from Movie

By David Crow

Fairly sophisticated stuff for an animated movie, Frozen became a bona fide classic in large part due to its songbook by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, with “Let It Go” standing out as an anthem for self-empowerment and the realization of identity. And if you overlook the fact you heard that song probably five thousand times, it still has that same resonance, which is why children are drawn to its message, as well as Elsa’ irresistible ice powers brought to dazzling life. When you factor in Anna’s own awkward charm, the power the two radiate together is warming in any season.

Home Alone (1990)

Disney+

Another holiday classic from Fox, Home Alone remains a millennial touchstone for this time of year, and a gift that keeps on giving. Yes, everyone remembers the end where Macaulay Culkin tortures two bumbling goons (Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) as if they’re Elmer Fudd, but the movie has a lot more going for it than just slapstick sociopathy. Indeed, when Kevin McCallister isn’t being a sadist, this film has an earnest appeal about celebrating the fantasy of a kid living by himself at home.

When his parents leave Kevin McAllister home alone for Christmas—it was an accident!—he has a luxury house to himself that he lounges about as if it were a giant playground with free ice cream, pizza, and R-rated movie viewing parties. Things go a little pear-shaped though when crooks try to rob the joint, but he handles that in glib fashion, all while sweetly pining for his mother. In fact, as you get older, Catherine O’Hara’s trials and tribulations to get back home to her baby boy in time for Christmas are as amusing as Kevin’s hijinks. (John Candy! Polka music!! Polka Christmas music!?!) But probably the reason this is a real classic has a lot to do with John Williams’ eternally heartwarming score.

Into the Dark: Pooka! (2018)

Hulu

The concept of Hulu horror anthology series Into the Dark is a simple one. Starting in October, every month would see the release of a new horror movie, usually revolving around a theme or holiday within that month. So naturally December 2018’s entry, Pooka!, brings its chills to Christmas. Directed by Nacho Vigalondo from a script by Gerald Olson, Pooka! introduces one of the cutest creepiest critter since Gremlins.

Struggling actor Wilson Clowes (Nyasha Hatendi) takes on a job operating a giant fur suit of a toy company’s upcoming holiday season to, Pookah. Pookah has two modes, naughty or nice. Soon Wilson comes to find that the suit is starting to effect his overall mood and the naughty mode may last outside the confines of the suit.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Amazon

Now if you could only watch one Christmas movie every holiday season, it’s gotta be this one, right? It’s a Wonderful Life has been a winter staple ever since…shortly after its 1946 release. The film infamously took a little while for audiences to catch on they they were in the presence of a classic. And now it lives on Amazon for the time being as the go-to spot for holiday cheer.

If you haven’t watched this movie in a while, it can be surprising just how tenuously tied the whole thing is to Christmas. Though the story of George Bailey begins on Christmas Eve 1945, the movie takes audiences throughout the entirety of his life, Christmas Carol-style. But of course, in the end the angels have gotten their wings and Christmas is in full thrall. Certainly, It’s a Wonderful Life will be all over the traditional TV calendar, but it’s nice to know that it’s on streaming as well for those who just can’t wait.

Klaus (2019)

Netflix

Since the hallowed days of Rankin/Bass stop-motion animated Christmas specials, there hasn’t been much movement or innovation in the realm of animated Christmas movies. Klaus, written and directed by Sergio Pablos, seeks to change all that in Klaus.

This crisply animated feature serves as an alternative history version of the story of Santa Claus. Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) proves himself to be the worst student as a postal academy and is sent to the North Pole where his lack of letter-delivering abilities won’t do anyone any harm. There he discovers Klaus (J.K. Simmons), a mysterious carpenter who lives alone and likes to make handmade toys. Sounds pretty familiar.

Klaus is both a technical marvel and an effective little Christmas story.

Last Christmas (2019)

HBO Max

Shortly after taking in the cheerful trailer for Emma Thompson and Paul Feig’s 2019 holiday hit Last Christmas, the Internet stood up as one and agreed on an important point: there’s a twist in here, isn’t there? And of course, the Internet was right…as it so often is.

Last Christmas features a very prominent and important twist in its plot that you’ll have to watch the movie (or read Wikipedia) to figure out. But twist or no, this is a perfectly enjoyable entry into the modern Christmas canon. Emilia Clarke takes some time off from torching King’s Landing to star as Kate, an aspiring young singer going through hard times around Christmas. That all changes when she meets the alluring and devastatingly handsome Tom (Henry Golding). What follows is a minor Christmas miracle.

The Santa Clause (1994)

Disney+

Tim Allen really was on top of the world in the 1990s, wasn’t he? The star of ABC’s popular Home Improvement sitcom, and just a year away from becoming a Pixar legend in Toy Story, Allen could get any family entertainment greenlit. Thus enters Disney’s The Santa Clause, a movie that posits “what if Tim Allen became Santa?” That’s pretty much what happens when Allen’s schmo-y Scott Calvin inadvertently is responsible for the death of the previous Santa who slips off his roof.

The consequence of Scott’s mistake is he puts on the red and white outfit to finish Santa’s sleigh ride that night, much to the delight of his son Charlie (Eric Lloyd). Little does he know that by donning the suit, he has entered into a “Santa Clause” which means he becomes the big guy—literally so as he gains 100 pounds of weight and a white beard overnight. It’s still amusing now, but our favorite bit will always be David Krumholtz as the no-nonsense North Pole elf from Brooklyn.

Surviving Christmas (2004)

Amazon

One enduring hallmark of the Christmas movie genre is how bad many of its entries are. Of course, there are some well-executed classics that command one’s attention and respect, but for the most part they all blend together into a pleasant cheerful mush that can be on in the background while one decorates their tree.

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Amazon Prime

By Alec Bojalad

Amazon Prime Video New Releases: November 2020

By Alec Bojalad

But even by the dismal standards of Christmas movies, 2004’s Surviving Christmas is particularly dismal. This Ben Affleck/James Gandolfini starring vehicle very much earns its 7% Rotten Tomatoes score. In a way, however, that makes it a must-watch holiday classic. Affleck stars as a rich advertising executive looking to reconnect with his past. What better way to do so than to pay the current occupants of his childhood home to spend Christmas with them? Much James Gandolfini grumpiness ensues.

A Very Brady Christmas (1988)

Hulu

A Very Brady Christmas was a 1988 made-for-TV movie that brought together the entire original cast of The Brady Bunch save for Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady). Olsen was on her honeymoon at the time and I cant’ figure out if that’s a great reason or a weird reason to miss a once-in-a-generation TV event.

A Very Brady Christmas centers on a very simple and very relatable concept: getting the whole family back together for Christmas. This is a hard enough logistical challenge for a “normal” family, and a damn near impossible one for a family with six kids. Will the Bradys be able to pull it off? Watch and find out!

Yes Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus (1991)

HBO Max

“Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” is one of the most enduring sentences in Christmas history. It comes from an 1897 newspaper editorial in which The Sun (of New York) editor Francis Pharcellus Church responds affirmatively to young Virginia O’Hanlan’s question about the existence of Santa Claus.

Movies

Wonder Woman 1984: Does HBO Max Premiere End Theatrical Releases as We Know Them?

By David Crow

HBO Max New Releases: November 2020

By Alec Bojalad

This 1991 TV movie of the same name dramatizes the already-quite dramatic story. Charles Bronson, of all people, stars as Church, who is dealing with the death of his wife and the trauma he endured as a war correspondent during the Civil War. It turns out that one little girls credulous belief in the impossible is all that many adults need to get back into the spirit of the season.

And here’s the complete list, just in case you don’t like our choices!

5 Star Christmas (2018)

Netflix

12 Days of Christmas Eve (2004)

Peacock

12 Dog Days Till Christmas (2014)

Hulu

12 Pups Of Christmas (2019)

Hulu

Alien Xmas (2020)

Netflix

Alone for Christmas (2013)

Peacock

American Rodeo: A Cowboy Christmas (2016)

Amazon

Angela’s Christmas (2017)

Netflix

Angela’s Christmas Wish (2020)

Netflix

Angels in the Snow (2015)

Hulu

Anna and the Apocalypse (2018)

Hulu

Back to Christmas (2004)

Hulu

Barbie: A Christmas Carol (2008)

Hulu

Barbie: A Perfect Christmas (2011)

Hulu, Peacock

Beyond Christmas (1940)

Amazon

Black Christmas (2019)

HBO Max, Peacock

Black Mirror: White Christmas (2014)

Netflix

A Bell for Christmas (2014)

Peacock

Bob’s Broken Sleigh (2015)

Netflix

BoJack Horseman Christmas Special (2014)

Netflix

A Bride for Christmas (2012)

Amazon

Chico Bon Bon and the Very Berry Holiday (2020)

Netflix

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: A Mid-Winter’s Tale (2018)

Netflix

Christmas, Again (2014)

Amazon

Christmas with the Andersons (2016)

Hulu

Christmas Belle (2013)

Hulu

Christmas Break-In (2019)

Netflix

The Christmas Calendar (2017)

Hulu

A Christmas Carol (1938)

HBO Max

A Christmas Carol (2019)

Hulu

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

Netflix

The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two (2020)

Netflix

Christmas in Compton (2012)

Hulu

Christmas Crush (2019)

Hulu

Christmas Cruise (2017)

Peacock

The Christmas Dragon (2014)

Amazon

Christmas in the Heartland (2013)

Peacock

Christmas on Holly Lane (2019)

Amazon, Hulu

Christmas Inheritance (2017)

Netflix

A Christmas Kiss II (2015)

Hulu

The Christmas Lodge (2014)

Amazon

Christmas Matchmakers (2019)

Peacock

A Christmas Movie Christmas (2019)

Hulu

Christmas Mystery (2014)

Peacock

Christmas Perfection (2018)

Hulu

Christmas with a Prince (2018)

Amazon

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018)

Netflix

A Christmas Princess (2019)

Peacock

The Christmas Ride (2019)

Amazon

A Christmas in Royal Fashion (2018)

Peacock

A Christmas Solo (2019)

Hulu

A Christmas Snow (2011)

Amazon

A Christmas Tree Miracle (2015)

Amazon

Christmas Twister (2012)

Peacock

Christmas in Vermont (2016)

Hulu

Christmas in Wonderland (2007)

Amazon

A Cinderella Christmas (2016)

Hulu

Curious George: A Very Monkey Christmas (2009)

Hulu

Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker (2020)

Netflix

Dash & Lily (2020)

Netflix

Dear Santa (2011)

Amazon

Deck the Halls (2006)

Hulu

Disney Channel’s Epic Holiday (2020)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 11

Disney Channel Holiday House Party (2020)

Disney + – Arriving Dec. 18

Disney Holiday Magic Quest (2020)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 11

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020)

Netflix

A Doggone Christmas (2016)

Amazon

A Dogwalker’s Christmas Tale (2015)

Hulu

The Dog Who Saved Christmas (2009)

Hulu

The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation (2010)

Peacock

Dragons: Rescue Riders: Huttsgalor Holiday (2020)

Netflix

Dreamworks Happy Holidays from Madagascar (2005)

Netflix

Dreamworks Holiday Classics (2011)

Netflix

Dreamworks Home For the Holidays (2017)

Netflix

Elf: Buddy’s Musical Christmas (2014)

HBO Max

Elf-Man (2012)

Amazon

Elf Pets: Santa’s Reindeer Rescue (2020)

Netflix

Every Other Holiday (2018)

Hulu

Eve’s Christmas (2004)

Hulu

Free Rein: The Twelve Neighs of Christmas (2018)

Netflix

A Flintstone Christmas (1977)

HBO Max

A Flintstone Family Christmas (1993)

HBO Max

Get Santa (2014)

HBO Max

Girlfriends of Christmas Past (2016)

Hulu

A Go! Go! Cory Carson Christmas (2020)

Netflix

The Heart of Christmas (2011)

Hulu

High School Musical: The Musical: The Holiday Special (2020)

Disney + – Arriving Dec. 11

His and Her Christmas (2005)

Hulu

Holidate (2020)

Netflix

The Holiday Calendar (2018)

Netflix

Holiday Home Makeover with Mr. Christmas (2020)

Netflix

The Holiday Movies That Made Us (2020)

Netflix

Holiday Road Trip (2013)

Peacock

Holiday Rush (2019)

Netflix

Holiday in the Wild (2019)

Netflix

Holly’s Holiday (2013)

Hulu

Home Alone: The Holiday Heist (2012)

HBO Max

Home For Christmas (2019)

Netflix

How to Ruin Christmas (2020)

Netflix

Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (2011)

Hulu

Into the Dark: Pooka! (2018)

Hulu

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)

Netflix

Klaus (2019)

Netflix

The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Last Holiday (2006)

Peacock

Let it Snow (2019)

Netflix

Man Who Invented Christmas (2017)

Hulu

The March Sisters at Christmas (2012)

Hulu

Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special (2020)

Apple TV+ – Arriving Dec. 4

Married by Christmas (2016)

Hulu

Merry Happy Whatever (2019)

Netflix

Miracle on Christmas (2020)

Amazon

Mighty Express: A Mighty Christmas (2020)

Netflix

My Dad is Scrooge (2014)

Hulu

My Little Pony: A Very Minty Christmas (2005)

Hulu

My Santa (2013)

Hulu

Nailed It! Holiday! (2018)

Netflix

A Nanny for Christmas (2010)

Hulu

Naughty and Nice (2014)

Hulu

A Nasty Piece of Work (2019)

Hulu

Neo Yokio: Pink Christmas (2018)

Netflix

New Year, New You (2019)

Hulu

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020)

Netflix

A Norman Rockwell Christmas Story (1996)

Amazon

Nothing Like the Holidays (2008)

HBO Max

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

Disney+ – Arriving Dec. 4

The Oath (2018)

Hulu

Once Upon a Time for Christmas (2017)

Hulu

Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas (2016)

HBO Max

Operation Christmas Drop (2020)

Netflix

Pee-wee’s Playhouse: Christmas Special (1988)

Netflix

Power Rangers: Megaforce: The Robo Knight Before Christmas (2013)

Netflix

Power Rangers Super Samurai: Stuck on Christmas (2012)

Netflix

Prince of Peoria: A Christmas Moose Miracle (2018)

Netflix

A Prince for Christmas (2015)

Peacock

A Princess for Christmas (2012)

Amazon

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020)

Netflix

A Puppy for Christmas (2016)

Hulu, Peacock

Rare Exports (2010)

Amazon, Hulu

A Royal Christmas Ball (2017)

Peacock

Santa Buddies (2009)

HBO Max

Santa Pac’s Merry Berry Day (2016)

Netflix

Santa Girl (2019)

Netflix

Scooby-Doo! Haunted Holidays (2012)

HBO Max

The Search for Santa Paws (2010)

HBO Max

Second Chance Christmas (2017)

Hulu

The Secret of the Nutcracker (2007)

Hulu

The Smurfs Christmas (1982)

HBO Max

So This is Christmas (2012)

Hulu

The Spirit of Christmas (2015)

Hulu

A StoryBots Christmas (2017)

Netflix

Sugar Rush Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Super Monsters: Santa’s Super Monster Helpers (2020)

Netflix

Super Monsters Save Christmas (2019)

Netflix

Super Monsters and the Wish Star (2018)

Netflix

Surviving Family (2014)

Amazon

The Swan Christmas Princess (2012)

Hulu

This Christmas (2007)

Hulu

The Town Santa Forgot (1993)

HBO Max

True: Winter Wishes (2019)

Netflix

The Truth About Christmas (2018)

Hulu

A Very Country Christmas (2020)

Amazon

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011)

HBO Max

A Very Murray Christmas (2015)

Netflix

A Wedding for Christmas (2017)

Peacock

Wonderoos: Holiday Holiday! (2020)

Netflix

Yogi Bear’s All-Star Comedy Christmas (1982)

HBO Max

Yogi’s First Christmas (1980)

HBO Max

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thetravellingvagrant · 7 years ago

Text

Day 1: Glasgow to London to Chisinau – A taxi-ing experience

After spending all morning, and indeed the preceding three days getting thoroughly dicked around by plumbers, instead of actually preparing for my three week trek into the (mostly) unknown, I found myself, by some miracle, dressed, packed and fairly confident that I was ready to leave, in surprisingly good time. At least I thought I was. Somehow, in the intermittent time between thinking “yes, I am ready to go” and actually hoisting my bag onto my shoulders, fifteen entire minutes had cleanly vanished from my life. Be it through distraction, laziness or (most likely) a highly localised time vortex, “surprisingly good” time had all of a sudden become “...Maybe I'd better walk fairly quickly, indeed, to the bus stop” time. So I bade my cat a truncated farewell

She may look entirely disinterested, but inside, her heart is breaking.

Stopped only briefly for the customary “pre-three weeks of soul crushing exertion” selfie

Way haaaay!

and hobbled off with some haste to the airport link bus stop. Unsurprisingly, during the course of my ten minute walk, “I'd better walk fairly quickly” time, transformed again into “...Can I actually run with this bag on my back if I need to” time, followed shortly, as I watched the sea of grey, unhappy faces that populated the number 77 to Glasgow airport sail past me a mere twenty meters away from my arrival at the stop, by “...Ideally I need to go back in time” time.

“No matter”, thought past me, a renowned idiot and dawdler of the highest order, “I'll just get the next one. Good thing I planned to catch the bus BEFORE the one I absolutely needed to get or miss my flight entirely.”

Smugly, I sat down and waited, before noticing that I had rested my feet on a puddle of frozen puke, standing up and moving upwind. Quickly, and with no real concern, I checked the 77's timetable on my phone (which, incidentally, a few days prior, had given up with my dawdling on updating its operating system and decided to automatically do it, meaning that, while it has a nice new UI, it also eats through battery like a hot nickel ball through butter. Obviously perfect for anyone who, in the immediate future, has to entire several half day bus rides, and who will certainly get very lost or very dead, if he doesn't have use of his phone at the end of them).

Literally 2% of my battery later, I had my arrival time in hand. Fifteen minutes before the gate closes. That...isn't great. I considered a taxi, though wondered if it was strictly necessary- it's three times the cost of the bus, after all, and it was only fifteen minutes I had to spare before the gate closed, which, as a phrase, seems to actually signify nothing. I can't remember a single time in which I've been boarded or even begun boarding at the time when the gate had supposedly closed. Usually I find myself still boarding long past the flight departure time, so who the fuck knows what any of it even means. Maybe they tell you if you buy a priority pass.

I found myself walking as I thought this. My subconscious mind had apparently decided to walk my usually fairly conscious body to the Partick train station taxi rank.

“Alright, fuck it. Taxi it is” I decided, reasoning that spending £10 extra was probably worth not having to worry about missing my flight. That's what taxis are supposed to be, right? Worry eliminators? You get one if you're worried you won't make it somewhere on time, or if you're worried the bus will be full of smack-heads. Lovely worry-free taxis.

I arrived at Partick station, full of pith and vinegar, ready to talk to a stranger and everything, reasoning that it'll put me in good stead for my trip. I knocked on the window of the taxi and it was briskly rolled down.

“Yeah, how much to Glasgow Airport, mate?” I asked in my best 'dealing with taxi driver' voice.

“Twenty pounds”

“...What? Really?” Shit. My faux taxi driver confidence was cracking. I knew I had fifteen pounds exactly in my pocket, which I had, apparently foolishly, considered to be an ample amount for any route I had chosen to take to the airport.

“...Yes?” he replied, as if I was the one somehow being unreasonable.

“...Couldn't do it for fifteen, could you?” I asked, boldly, using up my remaining little pool of confidence.

“No.”

Of course. I wasn't in eastern Europe yet. I was still very much in Glasgow. You can't haggle in Glasgow. What a stupid idiot I obviously am.

“...I'll go and get some money out and be right back” I sheepishly informed him, before turning around and stumbling on the curb on my way into the train station. Looks like the curse of the first day was back in full effect.

My bank account £10 lighter and my pocket £10 heavier, I returned to the taxi rank, finally ready to actually, for the first time that day, move physically closer to my initial destination. As it turns out, I could have been as ready as I liked, it wouldn't have done me any good. In the three minutes it took me to get the cash, the taxi driver, whom I had told I was returning had apparently gleefully taken another fare and fucked entirely off. Super.

I looked at my phone. Another 1%. I had just missed the next, and final possible bus to the airport, during this debacle. Double super.

I glanced down the rank, entirely devoid of any other taxis. Triple super. And also duper. I had no choice; the only option left was to phone a private hire.

Grimacing and trying to ignore my crippling disdain for talking with people on the phone, I dialled the number I usually use for taxis (read: that my nice girlfriend usually uses for taxis for me). They had apparently implemented an automated service. I have a hard time believing a taxi will show up when I talk directly to a human operator, and honestly, introducing a robotic middleman to this process didn't do much for my confidence. Regardless, I persevered.

“If you need a pick up from...Tribecca cafe in Glasgow, West End...press 1 now.” the robot voice drawled into my ear.

“...Weirdly specific.” I thought, waiting for the next options to be read to me, losing more faith in this entire process with every passing second.

“If you need a pick up from... Glasgow Airport pick up and drop off...press 2”

“Ooh, that's handy!” I thought, jabbing at two with perhaps a shade too much enthusiasm.

“Thank you! A taxi is currently en route to Glasgow Airport and will be with you shortly.”

“Wait, no!” I actually blurted out loud, thinking this would stop anything, followed by a tentative “...cancel?”

“thank you for calling Hampden cabs. Goodbye!”

the conversation abruptly ends.

“Shit. Uh. I uh...Do not know how to fix that.” I decided ultimately to deal with it in the manner I deal with most problems I don't know how to fix and just ignore it. It's worked for me so far. Probably.

Already in the process of repressing the previous two taxi encounters, I phone a third one. This time a human woman answers. Human women are far less terrifying than robots. They've already had their uprising, after all. I deftly ordered a taxi to my exact location and going to the right place and everything and waited, noting that if he arrived soon, time wouldn't even be that short once I arrived at check-in.

Mercifully, he did arrive quickly and was actually a thoroughly pleasant chap. We shared a very friendly, sane and even borderline interesting conversation (a rarity, I find, when talking to taxi drivers, you usually get one of those three at best), which was marred only slightly by being interrupted by an angry phone call from the second driver, who had now arrived at Glasgow Airport and couldn't find me. Obviously.

We arrived at the airport promptly, and for only £13. I tipped him the extra two anyway, because a) It was nice to have at least one of my three (soon to be four) experiences with taxi drivers end well today and b) I'm just a bloody good bloke.

I speeded through security in well under fifteen minutes, because of course I fucking did and was summarily spat out into the gaudy discomfort of duty free shopping. Ignoring literally everything and everyone around me, I sat down and waited for about three and a half seconds before my gate was announced.

My first flight of the day, to London Luton was entirely palatable, despite being full of Londony business wankers, all dressed in what looked like the same exact suit and tie, all loudly having phone conversations with their colleagues seemingly consisting entirely of the word “Yah”. Not that I was actually sat near any of them, anyway. I was sat in the middle seat of my row, which, because I hate both leg-room and breathtaking aerial vistas, I found very pleasing, sandwiched in between a fat Glaswegian man with a poorly applied, badly faded rangers tattoo, who continuously complained about it being too hot and sweated visibly for the duration of the flight, and an equally fat, bug eyed little squirrel man who sucked down hard candies like they were saving his life, rather than prematurely ending it, and who would glance awkwardly at me, literally once every ten or so seconds. Sitting in front of me was a nervous flyer, who found it necessary to peer over his shoulder about three times a minute, presumably to make sure no one on the flight had noticed that an engine had burst into flames, or that there was a gremlin, outside, tearing holes in the chassis. What this meant, for me, was that I had two people staring directly into my face, multiple times a minute, and often at exactly the same time. Consequently, in an effort to stop myself developing a complex, I shut my eyes and listened to music until we landed.

I had several hours to kill, while in Luton and ended up, as I am wont to do in airports, in the Burger King, more out of boredom and a desire to sit down, rather than hunger. After finishing my sub-par meal which, due to my being unknowingly upsold to a large, or super, or morbid size or whatever it was, cost me an additional thee pounds on top of what I was expecting to spend, I effortlessly breezed through airport security and found myself in the familiarly depressing fluorescence of the duty free.

After a couple of hours reading a surprisingly good E-book, which I absolutely bought with real money and definitely didn't steal off of the internet and I joined the queue a full fifteen minutes before the gate closed, whatever that means. Simple.

A full hour and five minutes later, we were still waiting to board. We had missed our departure time for a clear half hour at this point. The queue was hot, sweaty, disgruntled and full of Moldovan people, who appear to be shockingly unfamiliar with concepts like “waiting your turn” and “personal space”. It was fucking horrible, though I had ended up with the good fortune to have been right near the service desk when the queue had ground to a wearying halt, meaning I got to overhear all the gossip as to why the flight was delayed.

A portly female baggage handler, with a speech impediment, who the more inept of the two ...check-in technicians (for lack of a better word) kept referring to as “that 'special' girl”, despite her mental shortcomings seemingly beginning and ending with an inability to confidently pronounce the letter S and the fact that she almost certainly actually had a name, waddled up to the desk to let the two simpletons know what was going on. Apparently, for some reason, catering had taken their sweet ass time to get the plane loaded with sickly, tasteless, overpriced sandwiches and god knows they couldn't take off without them. Why, that would be lunacy.

Eventually though, after an additional ten to fifteen minutes, the plane had apparently been adequately filled with what hilariously apparently passes for 'food' and we could board.

I was sat in the very back row, which would have been a delight, had they opted to use the rear doors for entry, however, for some unknowable reason, they did not. I had to grind the sides of my bag against the faces of literally every aisle seat passenger on my way to my seat, and once I had made it there, found there were no spaces available in the overhead storage. To Wizz's credit, a flight attendant spotted the bind I was in and kindly shifted a few things around for me to give me space. The Moldovan man behind me, however, decided this act of kindness was directed entirely towards him, despite there being literally no evidence to support that fact, and slotted his bag, quickly into the newly available space. Again, to Wizz's credit, the stewardess saved me an entire flight worth of silently seething, inwardly, and told the guy to move his bag elsewhere, because she had cleared the space for me. Not him. That's right, fuck off, mate.

As it turns out, the space-stealer, was seated directly in front of me and is the sort of person who violently pushes back into airplane seats, thinking they might recline, despite there being nothing in their design or construction that hints that they would, so I guess he got me in the end.

This flight was, to put it as kindly as I can, total dogshit. It was hot and uncomfortable and I was tired. My aisle seat meant that one of my legs, at least, had some space to move around, though obviously had to be tucked in every four seconds in order to make room for the stewardesses to wheel the same stale sandwiches past our face about fifty times an hour, in an almost pointed attempt to remind me what stupid shit had made us late in the first place. There was also a toddler, whom, the Moldovan mother of, allowed to wander up and down the aisle alone and with impunity. The toddler, naturally, became utterly transfixed upon me, despite, initially, my thorough disinterest and latterly my thorough disdain for, even at one point, slapping my phone, taking me out of the media player and losing my place in what I was watching. I did not enjoy this flight. Also, when the plane landed, the passengers applauded the pilot, which is irritating and stupid.

Mercifully, however, it did eventually end and I unfurled my body from the seat, almost every joint in my body popping as I did, and, owing to my positioning on the aisle seat at the very back of the plane, sped off of the plane, first, out of everyone. Result, right? Not result. Chisinau airport is apparently one of those ones that don't trust passengers to walk eight feet towards the terminal building without getting lost or falling under a moving baggage cart, and as such, we were instead ferried onto some shuttle busses. Of course, being first off the plane, means you're positioned right at the back of the bus, and as such, get off dead last. Finally though, after quite some time and an awful lot of shitty Moldovan people not understanding those two important concepts I mentioned earlier, again, I was through passport control, and had very, very nearly finished the airport portion of today's journey. Now, though, the scary part began.

My plan was as follows; first, I needed some Moldovan currency, which, I wasn't sure I'd be able to get from the ATMs there, due to tripadvisor's...trip...advice. Second, I needed to get a taxi, ideally without being ripped off. This was the only option to get into the city, other than walking, due to the frankly ludicrous arrival time of 3:00am, local time, then, after being hopefully dropped off in the right place, I needed to locate the AirBnB I was due to stay at, in the dark and finally, somehow get the attention of Maria, the owner's daughter, who would be staying inside, to wait for me (the owner- Serghei- apparently feeling that leaving his daughter alone at night to wait for a complete stranger was probably safer than just leaving a key out for me, somewhere...), by, and I quote “knocking on the door or window”.

First up, money. I strode manfully up to the first ATM I found, put my card in and...oh, ok. That just works, does it. Cool. Well, that was easy.

Money in hand and tentatively optimistic, I moved onto step two; my fourth taxi of the day. I was told by Serghei that if I just walked into a taxi, I'd probably be ripped off to the tune of three times the actual price for the journey. My best bet instead was to find a “table” as he put it, labelled “airport taxi”, where I would get a fair price. Obviously this table didn't exist, so I ended up just having to walk into a taxi.

“I knew it was too good to be true” I mused as I approached the taxi rank. A withered little man approached me

“...Texi?”

“Uh, yeah?” I replied. I gave him the address.

“Ah, ok! You come!”

“How much will it be?” I asked

“100 lei”

Hmm. That was the 'fair' price I was quoted. It seemed a little too good to be true, but having no genuine reason other than my own innate suspicion to doubt him, I decided to chance it.

As it turned out, I was actually sharing the taxi with a young Moldovan chap, who, as it also turned out, used to work in both Edinburgh and Avimore. We had a brief, but enjoyable conversation about living in Scotland and, before I knew it, had arrived on the right street.

“What number?” the taxi driver asked, through his erstwhile translator.

“12” I replied.

The driver seemed to apparently take pride in dropping people off directly at the door of their destination, no matter how dimly lit or difficult to find, which was lovely of him, though a little overconfident, as it turns out, as the door to my apartment was actually quite difficult to find. He asked if I had a phone number for the place. I told him I did. He took it off of me and called Maria, himself for directions. Jesus Christ. Even if I did get ripped off, I was beginning to feel like I'd be okay with it.

With Maria's help, we found the apartment with ease and I was quickly dropped off, 100 lei the poorer. Which, for those of you with keen little eagle eyes, will note is the price I was quoted when I first got in the taxi. I couldn't really tip the driver, as the smallest note I had was the exact cost of the entire fare, but he really did deserve one. He put two thirds of the Scottish taxi drivers I had dealt with, that day, to shame, and honestly, even the one who's company I enjoyed would have had to carry my bags through security for me to have caught up.

As he sped off into the night, the hero that Moldova deserves, Maria shepherded me inside. She told me that she hadn't slept, yet. I had assumed that she would just sleep in the apartment and so obviously felt terrible. She explained the workings of the flat in, frankly laborious and over elaborate detail. I wanted to tell her that this was all unnecessary and that she should just go to bed, but I let her continue explaining how radiators work (turns out they make things hot) for fear that my reassurance would come off as rudeness. Soon, though, she limped off home and left me alone in the, honestly very nice, very spacious flat.

With only mildly tasteless and inappropriate decoration

After the customary amount of phone bibblery and so on, clambered into bed (kingsize, by the way) and fell asleep before I really knew what had happened. My vagrancy had begun.

#glasgow #travelling #vagrant #moldova #scotland #chisinau #taxi #airport #easyjet #wizz air #lei #terrifying airport experience #night #hot #crowded #flight #flying #airplane

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punk-grandpa · 7 years ago

Text

Voltron Amusement Park AU

I got a job at an amusement park this summer so I felt obliged to make this. Shoutout to @squid-sama and @snowflake1342 for giving suggestions. Here it is hot and fresh out the kitchen:

Background:

The paladins (and company) are all employees at an amusement park.

Fun-Tron is an amusement park located just outside of Rachel, Nevada.

It’s small and run down, but trying to get back on its feet.

It’s owned by Alfor Ovaltea (Ov-ALL-tee-ah) it’s not a certain string of words what are you talking about

Not only is Fun-Tron Park home to Rachel’s only wooden roller coaster and the best cotton candy in town, it’s the only cotton candy in town,,, it’s home to a conspiracy theory revolving around the park’s “giant” slide, which is believed to be an alien portal/base, and anyone who goes inside it gets abducted and replaced by a clone.

One time some employees saw colored lights flickering inside it after hours and strange noises (There’s no lights or sounds or anything at the slide. The slide is the most boring ride at the park.)

When investigated, nothing was found inside the slide. The employees were fired for drug possession on the park’s premises.

Needless to say everyone avoids the slide, even the employees.

The park also had a water park at one point (called Dunk-Tron), but it got torn down due to it being unsanitary.

The park is actively trying to work with the town to plan events, etc., but the mayor keeps rejecting them.

Rides Department:

Pidge: Full Name: Katie “Pidge” Holt Age: 18 Position: Ride Operator

Hunk: Full Name: Hunk Garrett Age: 19 Position: Ride Operator

Hunk operates the park’s kiddie rides, “Mind Scrambler”, the park’s “wipeout” ride, and “Terraformer”, the park’s only roller coaster.

Pidge, on the other hand, operates the “Tilt-A-Whirl”, the swings and also operates Terraformer, normally alongside Hunk.

Pidge moved to Rachel with Matt when he found work at the park. The two used to live in Las Vegas.

The lore and conspiracies surrounding the town and park fascinated her geeky ass, so she got a job at the park as well and does her best to “investigate”.

She has yet to find anything. (She’s scared to go inside the slide)

Pidge is set to attend Cal Tech as a freshman. This is her first summer working rides. She worked in the ticket booth for two years.

Despite dealing with small children at amusement parks for three years of her life, Pidge can and will easily lose patience with them.

Pidge: *Pulls microphone closer to her mouth* “You gremlins better pick a seat in the next 30 seconds or I won’t tell you to enjoy the ride.” Hunk: “PIDGE”

Hunk has been working at the park for two years, as Lance convinced him to get a job here.

Can you say BEST RIDE OPERATOR???

Hunk makes sure the customers have the best ride experience, whether at one of the kiddie rides or Terraformer. He’s easily the friendliest face at Fun-Tron.

He even helps out the engineers with identifying problems in rides.

Hunk is a prized employee and has consecutive Ride Operator of the Month awards, which in return gets him many Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards for school.

Hunk attends University of Florida with Lance.

Hunk and Pidge met and bonded at the park. The two are inseparable.

The two keep a tally of how many kids puke on the roller coaster.

*Both on break* Hunk: “I think I broke Mind Scrambler” Pidge: “You didn’t break Mind Scrambler, Mind Scrambler is just...broken.” Hunk: So it’s Shiro in the office?

Both Pidge and Hunk are simultaneously afraid they’ll get put at the giant slide if they mess up. They cope with their fear of the giant slide by roasting it.

Games Department:

Keith: Full Name: Keith Kogane Age: 20 Position: “Dart Derby” Game Operator

Lance: Full Name: Lance McClain Age: 19 Position: “Water Wars” Game Operator

Lance and Keith work at gaming booths right next to each other.

Their booths are the most popular games at the park.

Keith, personally, likes seeing the kids suffer when they lose. It makes him feel better about losing at these games when he was little.

Keith is just trying to scrape up a few bucks during the summer. He’s lived in Rachel all his life, and is a college drop out so he spends his days working.

This is Keith’s forth year working at the park.

He’s very interested in the giant slide conspiracy, but also makes fun of the slide itself.

This is solely a summer job for Lance, as he attends University of Florida. He’s also a Nevada native.

Lance used to be a lifeguard at the water park, but he was relocated to games after the water park shut down. (Games is the next best thing obviously.)

Lance has been working at the park for two years now

Lance is salty about being relocated. He believes being a lifeguard is a much more “attractive” position.

Nevertheless, Lance is still enthusiastic about his job and gets himself involved in the kids’ competitions, and tries to make the best of his job.

Lance straight up roasts the giant slide, no mercy.

The two are in cahoots (Well, Lance thinks they are), and are competing to see who gets the most money and/or crying kids.

Keith couldn’t give less of a fuck about their competition, but he’s winning.

The two don’t necessarily hate each other, but Lance’s competition with Keith damaged any gateway to a friendship they could have.

One night after closing, Keith decided to investigate the slide for himself.

He dragged Lance and Pidge into it.

Lance caught him, as they both had to close that night.

Lance: “Pidge was too scared to investigate and she’s, like, a genius!” Keith: (Yelling across the park to her) “HEY PIDGE TIME TO FACE YOUR FEARS.”

Sure enough, they found nothing when they went inside.

It’s still suspicious.

Marketing Department:

Shiro: Full Name: Takashi Shirogane Age: 25 Position: Marketing Team

Matt: Full Name: Matt Holt Age: 24 Position: Marketing Team

Shiro and Matt are the Dysfunctional Marketing Team of Fun-Tron Amusement Park.

They do their job to a degree, but not without some bullshit first.

Matt literally didn’t print out some brochures until Shiro bought him lunch.

The two constantly argue over memes to tweet out on the park’s Twitter, which are out-dated on both ends.

“Here Come Dat Fun-Tron! Park opens on May 23rd!”

Sometimes it’s even top text bottom text memes.

Matt moved to Rachel with his sister Pidge from Vegas specifically for this job. He met and bonded with Shiro at the park.

He’s been working at the park for three years.

Matt controls the park’s social media pages and website.

When Matt first arrived the website looked like it was made in MS Paint. Needless to say he fixed the website significantly.

Shiro’s been working at the park since he was 16.

Shiro has lived in Rachel all of his life, and grew up coming to the park.

Shiro’s an old soul and can’t use the internet for the life of him. This is the source of the Marketing Department Shenanigans.

“Matt I just won a free iPad.”

Shiro mostly focuses on seeking out sponsorships and promotors, and specifically wants the town to work with them.

However, the town’s mayor isn’t on board with this idea.

Zarkon Vrepitsa (V-reh-PIT-suh) (this isn’t another certain string of words what are you talking about), the town of Rachel’s mayor, is opposed to the idea of the park being there in the first place, as he’s kind of a nature slut and believes the park is harmful to the environment.

Zarkon via email, essentially: “Fuck off with your tiny fluorescent rat infested capitalist city with one (1) run down roller coaster my dude”

Candy Shop:

Allura: Full Name: Allura “Princess” Ovaltea Age: 19 Position: Candy Shop Manager

Allura is the daughter of Alfor, so she got a job at the park almost instantly. She’s been working here for four years.

She’s the manager at the park’s candy shop, home to the best cotton candy in Rachel Nevada.

She’s asked to make too much cotton candy on a daily

She doesn’t know why she needs to make this much cotton candy

She drowns in it,,, help her

Allura’s in constant war with the other candy shop manager, Shay. Shay wants to keep the shop’s “extraterrestrial” theme, while Allura wants to change it to a 80s-esque theme (she thinks the alien theme is unoriginal).

“We get it, Shay, we live next to Area 51 and have a weird alien conspiracy regarding our sad slide.”

Allura really likes the 80s.

She amuses herself when she has to work at the cotton candy stand by looking at people’s reactions to prices and watching Keith and Lance bicker all day.

She’s attending University of Nevada.

Allura has befriended the park rats.

She really wants her father to get rid of the giant slide, but Alfor refuses.

Cash Office:

Lotor: Full Name: Lotor Vrepitsa Age: 20 Position: Cash Office Manager

Lotor works at the park despite his father’s warnings.

Got a job handling the fucking money who allowed this (me)

He works in the cash office with his girl squad from the show. (Acxa, Ezor, Narti, Zethrid)

They’re the scariest group of employees in the park.

The cash office has a camera set up. The cameras overlook the different booths and areas of the park.

Lotor very much takes advantage of the cameras.

When he’s not sorting money he’s roasting the paladins, also sabotaging them. (Making his father proud and shit.)

One time he told Ezor to check the register at Keith and Lance’s booths and drink/steal their slushies while she was at it.

And Lotor just sat and watched the look on their faces.

He has yet to lose his patience with certain customers he catches on camera.

Lotor: “Who puked next to the garbage can?”

He also has a golf cart because his dad is rich and insisted he have one.

Lotor likes driving the golf cart.

One time he accidentally ran into Keith’s booth with it when teasing him.

Lotor: “I’ll give you that one.”

There’s still a hole.

Other than the sabotages, he does his job surprisingly well.

He grew up in upstate New York and moved to Nevada with his father. He goes to an ivy league school on the East coast.

Wonders how he got stuck dealing with alien conspiracists on a daily during the summer for the past four years.

Bonus: Coran is a magician the park gets to do shows on occasion (when they can afford it.) It’s called “Coran, Coran, The Magic Man!”

That’s all I have as of now. Feel free to leave more suggestions if you have them.

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years ago

Text

Get Gobbled Up this Thanksgiving with THANKSKILLING

New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/get-gobbled-thanksgiving-thankskilling/

Get Gobbled Up this Thanksgiving with THANKSKILLING

November can be a tough month for horror fans. With the end of October meaning Halloween’s gone for another year, and slasher movies starring Santa Claus still a few weeks out, our watch lists can seem as dead as the brown leaves crunching underfoot.

So what’s a fiend to do? What seasonally appropriate fare bridges the gap between Michael Myers and Krampus, candy corn and candy canes? I can’t speak for the whole world, but in my neck of the woods (USA, baby) we celebrate Thanksgiving in November. It’s a joyous time of year, full of parades and extended family members saying horrifically racist things. We spend a couple hours ostensibly being thankful for what we have immediately before punching out a stranger in a Walmart because they got the last flatscreen on sale. But hey, there’s football.

Not everyone loves Thanksgiving as much as I do. If you can’t seem to get in the spirit for Thanksgiving, you can always try watching Thanksgiving movies. Admittedly, there aren’t a lot of them. Eli Roth’s Grindhouse trailer for Thanksgiving sadly never became a full feature-length film. There’s Blood Freak, a 70s sleaze film featuring a turkey-headed creature, but isn’t explicitly Thanksgiving-y. And then… there’s ThanksKilling.

ThanksKilling is a 2008 indie horror film about a killer turkey that pursues a group of college kids. It plays like your standard “coeds in the woods” movie, but with the addition of a turkey puppet with a taste for blood. Turkie, the film’s antagonist, is a foul-mouthed fowl (sorry) with a one-liner for every occasion. On a budget of about $3,500, bargain basement practical effects steal the show. There’s a lot of blood in this movie, and I’m just realizing that “there’s a lot of blood in this movie” is the only phrase I need to hear to watch a movie. I’m a man of simple tastes.

If you’ve seen ThanksKilling, or the trailer for it, or know a little about the movie, you might be a little surprised right now. “A $3,500 budget,” you’re hypothetically saying, “that much?” To that I’d respond, “that’s what IMDb said,” and then go on about how much it costs to make a movie even beyond pointing a camera and squeezing a bag of fake blood. There are a lot of moving parts on a film set, both literally and figuratively, and cameras aren’t free. Instead of using too many digital effects, and breaking the viewers’ immersion with Birdemic-level CGI, ThanksKilling revels in its low-budget charm. Where other films might risk trying to do too much with too little, ThanksKilling wears its limitations on its sleeve. I appreciate that.

ThanksKilling plays with the stock characters of a standard coeds-in-the-woods film. There’s the jock, the nerd, the ditzy girl, even an overweight comic relief character. In addition, there’s the town’s sheriff (who sets up one of my favorite gags in the movie) and an ill-fated motorist who takes a chance on a hitchhiker. Many of these characters meet their fates in suitably messy fashions. While the gore in this film isn’t particularly realistic, it’s not for everybody. The violence is played for laughs, but the super squeamish might not find it funny. If you’re reading this site, you’re probably in the clear. I don’t want to spoil anything about this fun little movie, though, so I won’t go in to any more plot details. In short, I’d recommend this movie to anyone who gets a kick out of Troma films.

youtube

ThanksKilling runs around twenty minutes shorter than most feature films, and I think it deserves recognition for that. A motivated viewer could watch the entire movie in the morning before going to work. More importantly, ThanksKilling doesn’t overstay its welcome. I’d rather watch a seventy minute movie than a seventy minute movie stretched to fit a hundred minutes.

Is ThanksKilling the greatest movie ever made? I don’t know. I’m not qualified to judge that. Film quality is a subjective thing. You could make an argument for why Wayne’s World 2 is the best movie ever made, and I wouldn’t agree with you, but if it works for you, I’m happy for you. I liked ThanksKilling a lot, and if you like low budget movies with cursing puppets, I think you’ll like this one, too! If you only like slow-burn art films with a message, maybe you can pass on this one. Everyone’s taste is different.

There’s also a sequel to ThanksKilling, titled ThanksKilling 3. You might be scratching your head, so I’ll fill you in: you can’t get ThanksKilling 2. It’s not real. A major plot point in ThanksKilling 3 revolves around the last remaining copy of ThanksKilling 2, a film so bad that almost all copies of it were destroyed. I won’t go too deep into ThanksKilling 3 because strictly speaking, it’s not a horror film. Instead, it’s a surreal fantasy sci-fi black comedy puppet show. I liked it, but of the film’s running time (half an hour longer than the original), only about twenty minutes of it could be considered horror.

Still from ThanksKilling 3

I know some horror fans are already diving head-first into Black Christmas, Christmas Evil, Jack Frost, and the Silent Night, Deadly Night films. I respect that. However, I can’t get started on Christmas movies until after Thanksgiving, or I’ll get burnt out by the actual day. Nobody wants to be burnt out before they get to Gremlins. If you’re like me, you might stare at the calendar and say, “Why? Why a whole month between Halloween and Christmas? Get out of here, November.” And then your boss comes along and tells you to get back to work instead of talking to the calendar, again. For people like us, there’s ThanksKilling. It’s not for everyone, and it doesn’t try to be anything other than what it is (a no-budget horror movie starring a puppet), but it’s Thanksgiving horror movie, and it deserves recognition for that.

Until Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving actually happens, I’ll watch ThanksKilling.

And then after that, too. I mean, the movie’s only an hour long.

#b movies #birdemic #christmas horror #fall horror #fall horror movies #holiday horror #holidays #horror comedies #horror-comedy #thanksgiving #thanksgiving horror #thanksgiving horror movies #thankskilling

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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years ago

Text

Get Gobbled Up this Thanksgiving with THANKSKILLING

New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/get-gobbled-thanksgiving-thankskilling/

Get Gobbled Up this Thanksgiving with THANKSKILLING

youtube

Still from ThanksKilling 3

Until Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving actually happens, I’ll watch ThanksKilling.

And then after that, too. I mean, the movie’s only an hour long.

0 notes