#just discomfort in my mouth
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(anyone before their period feel their gums swelling and get mouth sores and it makes you want to rip all your teeth out of your mouth once a month???
no? just me? cool cool.)
#sometimes the mouth sores are so bad i can't talk which is fun for me truly#but its the subtle swelling#not even pain#just discomfort in my mouth#for about two weeks and nothing helps#just take my teeth#i dont need them#tw: period talk
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Not made for casual intimacy at all bc why am I up waiting for sunrise and regretting every time I kissed someone who wasn’t deserving of it
#acutely feeling like I just wanna get a lip scrub and furiously scrape any memories of kissing anyone ever off my mouth#i don’t miss the people I’m thinking of btw and they’re not even bad people. like their arcs in my life were fine#I’m just realizing casual intimacy might not be my thing in live time but it’s not like I blame them for that#I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling at peace w my choices again but this momentary discomfort had to be documented I think#p
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Firmly Grasp It
#i love tutorial vids for handling cats. the demonstrations are so goofy bc these creatures are so stubborn they need to be manhandled#this one was for syringe feeding a senior cat#because my cat will not eat on her own and it really is that much easier to just deposit the food in her mouth (vet recommended)#shes been good about it but maybe thats just the discomfort of the constipation making her generally docile#i wish she was in a state to enjoy her new high calorie food but alas. she needs to get her weight up and will not do that herself
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Some nights I forget I have my retainer on and other nights it is like the most uninteresting yet excruciating form of torture invented.
#l33chsp34k#It's not pain exactly just extreme discomfort.#It makes me want to rip my teeth out of my mouth or chew my retainer to shreds.
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I need to be put in a waffle iron or something
#i am. really stressed!!#i hate being online i keep losing friends#Majority of them did shitty stuff to me and it makes me so sad#I already have trust problems so when people come and say theyll always be here for me and then the next thing i know im blocked because i#Expressed my discomfort about something shitty they did it makes those trust issues even worse#We were pretty close and now i regret telling him shit because he could use it against me#And im starting to fall out with my “best friend” irl. Everything is making me sick#I can’t do this anymore I really want to disappear#There has to be something about me so repulsive to people#That i just turn them away#its gonna be like that for the rest of my life isnt it? I probably wont even get a partner in the future#I just don’t know why I fuck up every friendship so bad even if it wasnt. My fault#I shouldve kept my mouth shut even if i was uncomfortable#my last friendships ended like this too#I caused a huge server fight by saying I was uncomfy and I’m pretty sure everyone hates me now because of it#even though some said they werent#I am just really lonely and feel like a piece of shit#Because I am one#I don’t really know if I want to keep being here anymore#I genuinely think nobody likes me#Even when I was in school nobody liked me#I was the “weird girl”#I just wish I was normal and likeable and then maybe I’d have friends irl#I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I’ve considered suicide over it multiple times#I ruin everything#My friendships. My life. My parents marriage. My art. Everything.#I doubt anyone will read this or gaf so just. ignore me
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I’ve started riding Fjara to help my dad with her tripping (read: he likes to ride with a long loose rein and Fjara ends up tipping forward).
The first two times we were still getting used to one another, she’s still trying to gauge why the heck I’m asking her for turns and to do a few steps backwards and walk sideways a little.
Today I decided to take a different path around the farm and Fjara was particularly high in her energy, so when we turned to go back her back curled a little and her tempo went up…
And I’m sitting on her all impressed at the energy but also please don’t do a happy buck, I’m still getting used to how different you are from my regular horse 😅
#she’s a fun one!#I know that from like…the ground#now I’m learning it in the saddle#really gotta find my ‘grip’ so to say bc where Lilja is short and slight Fjara is tall and broad#I can’t even get on her without a step 😅#Lilja? no problem. I’m still convincing her that steps aren’t evil so I can get on better but y know#if there’s a problem and I need to get off I know I can also climb back on sort of gracefully#Fjara is a damn mountain! and broad!#and her saddle gives a lot less grip so to say#you can do a happy buck after a few more rides miss missy#but she is very sensitive and polite. she might want to return to Lilja buuuut she’ll still listen to my directions#has a good stop#loves praise for doing a good job#my dad doesn’t utilise that enough#yet#and her tölt and walk are asdfghjkl right now but I can get that back to some decent gaits#some groundwork and some more time under the saddle and a bit more help for my dad and she’ll be a-okay 👌👌👌#*myhorses#Fjara frá Skjálg#oh! and I rode Lilja bitless#she seems to love it and I love that#just gotta find the middle bit where she doesn’t just go lalala when she wants to go fast and I don’t#it’s not out of control but more like … well….lalala can’t hear you wheeeer#it’s a test for us to see if it helps her with tension#Lilja shows her teeth when in a faster gait and I’ve tried many bits and different things with my hands#I still get a ‘smile’#I’m also going to see if I can find a soft bit#and ask a bitfitter for advice#if anything just to rule out any discomfort in her mouth#there’s no bruising or anything that I can find
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dude honestly I made a miraculous recovery since yesterday??? I barely feel any pain at all?
this is surreal
#yesterday the dengue was making every inch of muscle in my body ache#so holding my phone made my fingers really hurt#like a phone is kinda heavy???#we don't realise this because we can mostly hold them no problem#anyway#now all I feel is a kind of annoying taste of dipirona in my mouth#no more wrist pain neither#or back pain#just a general discomfort#👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 dope#I was able to freaking SHOWER today#🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#tmi yeah but I'm feeling great
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Hhhh I put effort into making sauce for pasta but it turned out kind of crap so now im sitting here trying to force myself to eat it anyway bc I have had one slice of pizza today and i do feel some amount of hunger but its. A fucking struggle and I'm trying REAL hard not to let possibly having to bin it ruin what's actually been a pretty good day for me
#i started tidying the kitchen a bit while it was cooking and feel really good abt that#but i think my battery just ran out which means im fighting more with sensory issues#in all honesty that might be related to the much more managable but still present lack of appetite lately#forgetting to eat to the point i dont have the energy to power through the sensory discomfort of Texture In Mouth#which is something i hadnt even clocked before but. yeah. think its a holdover from when id need to force myself to eat every meal at home#jesus christ that family fucked me up in ways im only starting to discover if im right
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im trying i swear im trying SO hard not to be bitchy about legends and lattes getting finalized for the hugo but . okay the hugo is a prize for science fiction/speculative fiction/fantasy fiction. and words mean things and essentially this is putting a very plot-lite romance novel with a fantasy setting up against political spec fic and like, books being entered in a contest that the left hand of darkness once won. which isn't to say that the contest itself is like, sacred ground - starship troopers, 1960 - basically heinlen's treatise on why the military is necessary to whip the youths into shape - like, it's a seventy-year-old science fiction prize, there's gonna be a lot of unlikeable books on there, actually. and its not to say that lighter books or books riding a wave of hype haven't won it before (harry potter won it in 2001)...it's just. it's a weird collection this year, is all, and the contest has skewed wider in its interpretation of spec fic in the past ten-twenty years, which i'm not upset about! words mean things but im also a huge proponent of thee two-time hugo winner UKLG's thoughts on genre. genre is as mutable as the clouds. we call things 'spec fic' often because they're difficult to categorize. but, and i'm saying this huge long preface because i genuinely don't want to seem like a wet blanket, but it's just...it's the wrong contest for the book. there's been a lot of good sff this year. but that's a romance novel. and also its not hugo levels of good
#like if you liked it. enjoy! do not read the rest of my tags lol#opinions below do not eat#.............................#okay i think this should be enough tags to hide the rest under the readmore but just in case ..........#...................#ok .#but it's entirely plotless and . just my onion. plotless does not equal cozy . and visa versa#cozy books can have very intricate and exciting plots! dozens upon thousands of lite mysteries prove this#plotless books can be as far from cozy as possible - my year of rest and relaxation has next to no driving force and#leaves the reader with a memorable discomforting taste in the mouth#but this book relies entirely on what Types its characters are to sell itself. they are gay and quirky fantasy creatures.#and books with gay and quirky fantasy creatures can also be very good!!! i have read these also!!!!#but this book's gay and quirky fantasy creatures dont even DO anything or have lasting interiority . in my onion#like it just needs MORE to be a hugo novel. it needs depth it needs something more than fleeting comfort and reader-relatability
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i just realized i’m only able to call my cats petnames
#which makes me appear cold to other people but like it’s fine it’s what it is#with my discomfort showing affection not ghosting people i care about is a huge step on it’s own<33#like there are some my friends from uni use in every sentence#and i thibk they’re sweet and i love and appreciate them and they make me smile#however they will never leave out of my mouth i think !#saying love you is the most i can do sadly#i like giving compliments though because they are just stating the obvious and like even if you hate me i’ll get no damage from that !#<-mentally ill
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whenever i think/talk abt a "you" it's at least 5 different people usually
#ive been thinking about how you separated the star of david into triangles and taught me about the equilibrium about as above so below#are we in equilibrium? ive been thinking about the star of david and the rest in peace beneath it#fuck the fascists and fuck how they took you and fuck how theyll take everyone. am i good at analysis?#it turns out weve all been lying a lot. it turns out the person weve all lied the most to was ourselves.#ive been thinking about your 5 journals and a whole week of crying just to realise our sin. you felt like a nucleus inside a fuzz of#electrons and i felt like the fuzz of electrons. we caught a ribbon and followed it past the point of discomfort#this is how you breathe so that you dont die and this is how you breathe so that you do. on your own terms.#i am going to be a good architect. i am going to be a good engineer. i am going to be a good neuroscientist. i am going to be good.#i reserve the label for being a let-go-of-labels person. i am going to be the one who lets go of identifiers#and make it my identity. how do you achieve constant bliss? separate the nucleus and the fuzz.#suffering from the impact of the self and the self-image، you told me about the bliss of separation.#okay. let them hate the cloud. youre inside of it all. i am nothing. this is not a label for the self. mereology is a lovely thing.#baby you are ripping through all these spiderwebs just to live. this is part of the normal developmental process. i am surrounded by people#who throw sums of millions out of their mouths like any other lovely word. i cant stand the thought of your loss#except only in theory. ive been thinking about the bird with the broken wing in florence and how we stood around it until#two friends picked it up and took it home in hopes of nursing him back to flight. ive been thinking about how we are designed to care#for each other. tomorrow you will have your dreams crushed. the day after you will keep going. we are sharing#in the wonders of being perceiving beings. isnt that enough? why do you need to perceive the monstrosity of your own soul? is it#because i love you? is it because you love yourself? you love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel the terrible corners of you.#you can finally stand on your own. you can only stumble forward until you walk for the first time.
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I'M TRYING TO APPRECIATE MY FAMILY AND IMPROVE MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEM BC THAT'S IMPORTANT IN LIFE AND IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A NETWORK LIKE THIS, BUT IF THEY COULD STOP BEING ISLAMOPHOBIC IT WOULD CERTAINLY HELP
#hi cousin something i haven't seen in two thirds of a decade it's good to talk again#sure hope you aren't gonna launch into the description of how you're such a good atheist who doesn't care about people's lives#but really your daughter's muslim husband with his dumb and negative ideas to get his kids in contact with religion!#they worn born here after all! and him too! they're romanticizing their country of origin!#our traditions aren't even religious really so why does he express mild discomfort? the kids love it!#and my aunt who doubles down by quoting a guy so right wing even the righties don't want him#saying he went too far but really he's not wrong#i always get blindsided because they're the fun side of the family#long hair and boho style and plays music etc etc#so i think they're chill people#BUT NO! THEY JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY'VE GOT YOU CONVINCED THEY'RE COOL AND KIND#AND THEN THEY START SPEWING THIS JUDGEMENTAL CONDESCENDING HATEFUL SHIT#i tried arguing a little just sideways you know#this motherfucker says THINGS about his own damn grandkids.....#he told them a name was too muslim and that'd bring problems lmao#there was a kid named exactly that in my elementary school class he didn't have any fucking problem#you're the one who has a problem my guy the kid is gonna turn out fine as long as you shut your fucking mouth around him and his siblings#it makes me so fucking mad#broadcasting my misery
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🦷❌ :(
#the bones in my mouth are being troublesome and I’m about to do some desperate amateur dentistry#but seriously my wisdom teeth are trying to force their way through again and#I have achey swelling in my chin/lower front teeth#and the discomfort is making me clench my jaw which just makes it all worse
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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Writing Intimacy
i often see writers sharing a sentiment of struggling with writing kiss scenes which honestly bleeds into other portrayals of physical intimacy. i see it a lot in modernized styles of writing popularized by the recent trend in publishing to encourage short, choppy sentences and few adverbs, even less descriptive language. this makes intimacy come across awkward, like someone writing a script or clumsy recounting of events rather than a beautiful paragraph of human connection.
or just plane horniness. but hey, horny doesn't have to be mutually exclusive with poetic or sensual.
shallow example: they kissed desperately, tongues swirling and she moaned. it made her feel warm inside.
in depth example: she reached for the other woman slowly and with a small measure of uncertainty. the moment her fingers brushed the sharp, soft jaw of her companion, eliza's hesitance slid away. the first kiss was gentle when she finally closed the distance between them. she pressed her lips lightly to gabriella's in silent exploration. a tender question. gabriella answered by meeting her kiss with a firmer one of her own. eliza felt the woman's fingers curling into her umber hair, fingernails scraping along her scalp. everything inside eliza relaxed and the nervousness uncoiled from her gut. a warm buzz of energy sunk through her flesh down to the very core of her soul. this was right. this was always where she needed to be.
the first complaint i see regards discomfort in writing a kiss, feeling like one is intruding on the characters. the only way to get around this is to practice. anything that makes you uncomfortable in writing is something you should explore. writing is at its best when we are pushing the envelope of our own comfort zones. if it feels cringy, if it feels too intimate, too weird, too intrusive, good. do it anyway! try different styles, practice it, think about which parts of it make you balk the most and then explore that, dissect it and dive into getting comfortable with the portrayal of human connection.
of course the biggest part comes to not knowing what to say other than "they kissed" or, of course, the tried and true "their lips crashed and their tongues battled for dominance" 😐. so this is my best advice: think beyond the mouth. okay, we know their mouths are mashing. but what are their hands doing? are they touching one another's hair? are they scratching or gripping desperately at one another? are they gliding their hands along each other's body or are they wrapping their arms tightly to hold each other close? do they sigh? do they groan? do they relax? do they tense? are they comfortable with each other or giddy and uncertain? is it a relief, or is it bringing more questions? is it building tension or finally breaking it?
get descriptive with the emotions. how is it making the main character/pov holder feel? how are they carrying those emotions in their body? how do they feel the desire in their body? desire is not just felt below the belt. it's in the gut, it's in the chest, it's in the flushing of cheeks, the chills beneath the skin, the goosebumps over the surface of the flesh. everyone has different pleasure zones. a kiss might not always lead desire for overtly sexual touches. a kiss might lead to the desire for an embrace. a kiss might lead to the impulse to bite or lick at other areas. a kiss could awaken desire to be caressed or caress the neck, the shoulder, the back, the arms etc. describe that desire, show those impulses of pleasure and affection.
of course there is the tactile. what does the love interest taste like? what do they smell like? how do they kiss? rough and greedy? slow and sensual? explorative and hesitant? expertly or clumsily? how does it feel to be kissed by them? how does it feel to kiss them?
i.e. examine who these individuals are, what their motives and feelings are within that moment, who they are together, what it looks like when these two individuals come together. a kiss is not about the mouth. it's about opening the door to vulnerability and desire in one's entire body and soul.
#writing help#writing tips#writing advice#how to write#on writing#fanfic advice#writing#creative writing#writing process#roleplay advice#rp advice#rp tips#*shrugs* twitter discourse brought me here
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Victoria Secret
A/n: For all my Geto lovers, i made sure the fucking was extra juicy. Enjoy!
Synopsis: Your secret indulgence? Buying lingerie. You've managed to keep this "hobby" under wraps until your worst nightmare, Geto Suguru, discovers your secret. Unexpectedly, he proposes a deal: he'll keep your secret, in exchange you help set up his friend Gojo with your roommate, and after that he will even buy you ten sets of your favorite lingerie. There’s just one catch—you have to model them for him. What could go wrong?
"W-what are you doing?" You manage to gasp but Geto just kisses the hollow of your throat. "Why? Do you want me to stop?" He murmurs against your skin. And you know you should say yes, but you shake your head. Like a fool. "Good girl."
Warnings: Teasing, praising, body worship, nipple play and sucking, soft-to-rough sex, unprotected sex, breeding
Word count: 5.5
Every Sunday, at precisely three in the afternoon, you sneak out of your apartment for what you call your "secret indulgence."
Your eyes gaze at the velvet-lined shelves, mentally dissecting the lace and silk items that sit on the red fabric. A familiar, gentle melody fills the boutique, playing overhead as soft light casts a warm glow on the meticulously displayed delicate fabrics. As you run your fingers over each fabric laid before you, you stop when you find one that feels like a whisper against your skin.
This one is perfect.
Carefully you hold the item up on either side, feeling the fabric between your index finger and thumb. Intricate floral patterns cover the lace material and you note the high-waisted cut and scalloped trim that would certainly flatter your figure. You hum in contentment. Yes, this piece of underwear will go perfectly with your collection.
Your "secret indulgence" you may ask? It is collecting lingerie.
Your indulgence was secret for a reason as well. Far too often people assumed that you collected lingerie for a boyfriend or even an audience, but it wasn't like that at all. In fact, it was the opposite, you collected lingerie for you. It wasn't like you never thought about trying it on for someone though, you just never seemed to have an opportunity too. Unlike many of your peers, you're not a social butterfly, never one to attend college parties or gatherings. Even your best friend Shoko has to drag you out of your room every once in a while. Yet, ever since you can remember, there's something about lingerie that captivates you—perhaps it's the delicate lace, the intricate patterns, or how damn good you looked in it. You were simply in love with it.
And up until now, you were pretty damn sure your indulgence was perfectly secret as well.
"Y/n! Just the person I needed to see."
Oh what the fuck.
Your steps halt instantly at the sound of the familiar voice, freezing you in place. You didn't want to look back, you didn't need to look back, you knew who was behind you. You purse your lips as a rush of thoughts floods your mind: Had he seen you leaving the boutique? He wasn't a fool; surely, he'd deduce that the two bags you were clutching came from somewhere significant nearby.
Shit shit shit. Fuck it.
With a nervous bite to the inside of your cheek, you slowly turned around, facing the tall man behind you.
"Geto." You dead pan. There’s a tightness around your mouth, the corners pulled down just enough to betray your displeasure. The usual spark in your eyes is conspicuously absent, replaced by a guarded, cool glare that clearly communicates your discomfort at this encounter.
Geto smiles and takes a few steps toward you. Your first instinct is to step back but you stay in place, taking in his appearance. He's wearing a black tank top today, one that clings to his well-defined muscles and shows off the tattoos covering his arms. He pairs this with casual grey sweatpants that hang loosely around his hips and of course, his long black hair is partially tied up in a man bun like it usually is, while the rest cascades down his back.
Of course he looks good.
Thin sharp black eyes scan you before landing on the two bags you are clutching. His smile grows. You know you're fucked. The last person you needed to uncover your secret.
"Enjoy your shopping?" He chuckles, nodding to the bags and you harshly bite your lip.
"Just some clothes for the summer" You respond dryly, making sure to be heard over the bustling people around you.
"Ah, you don't have to keep secrets from me." Geto chuckles and he gestures to the tattoo and piercing shop across the street. "You know I work there right? I see you go into the little shop every Sunday."
No. No, you did not know that.
You pause before speaking again. "Can I help you with something Geto?"
"Actually, yes you can. I need a favor."
"Favor?" Your eyebrows raise and you scoff. "What could I possibly help you with."
Geto smiles and takes another step forward. "I know we aren't friends, but Shoko is your best friend and she is also mine so I thought maybe we could benefit each other a bit."
You dont respond this time and he continues.
"My best friend, Gojo, im sure you know him."
You have to fight to hide the disgust on your face upon hearing the white-haired man's name. Of course, you knew Gojo, every one on campus knew Gojo, you specifically for the amount of girls he has "toyed" with.
"Yes, I know who the fuck Gojo is." You roll your eyes and you notice Geto has taken another step forward, effectively closing the distance between you two.
"Well, he is head over heels for your room mate-"
"Head over heels or just want to fuck her." You sarcastically snap back, cutting Geto off.
"Is there any difference these days?" he replies, a slight smirk playing at the edges of his lips, challenging the cynicism in your tone.
"And you want me to do what, exactly? Set her up with him? No way," you snap back, your voice rising slightly in indignation. "She's my friend, and I'm not some kind of matchmaker. Gojo can go screw himself."
"No, no, that's not what I'm saying at all," Geto quickly interjects, holding up his hands in a gesture of peace. "I'm just asking you to let her know that he's available, that he likes her. Just make him out to be an option, you know? Your roommate can do whatever she wants with that information."
"Still, why would I want to do that?" you question, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion and frustration. The warmth of the afternoon seems to intensify the tension between you as Geto steps closer, diminishing the gap until he's just inches away.
"Because in exchange, I'll buy you anything you want," he offers, his voice low and persuasive.
"Um, what?" Your response comes out more as a reflex than anything else.
"Let me rephrase that," he continues, nodding slightly towards the bag of lingerie you're holding, which causes your cheeks to flush with embarrassment. "I’ll buy you what you really want."
"No," you retort firmly, feeling the discomfort rise.
"No?" He echoes, his tone a mix of amusement and disbelief.
"Yes, no. Besides, I'm not strapped for cash. I can buy what I want whenever I want—"
"Didn't I tell you you don't have to lie to me?" Geto cuts in, his voice lowering a bit. "Please, I know how expensive that store is, and I'm not offering just one thing. Say, how about 10 sets from that store you love?" he declares, his eyes flashing with a mix of challenge and amusement.
"10? Can you even afford that?" you retort skeptically, your eyebrows arching in disbelief. This game of his was becoming more intriguing and absurd by the minute.
He leans back, a smug smile playing on his lips. "Oh, and I have to go shopping with you and see you try it on," he adds, as if the deal wasn’t provocative enough.
"Why the hell would you want to do that?" You feel the tips of your ears grow red and you scoff. The idea of Geto Suguru choosing lingerie for you sounds so personal sends a shiver down your spine.
"Because," he pauses, his gaze intense, "its not about buying you lingerie, Consider it… a test of trust, can't just give you hundred of my dollars and let you do whatever you want, I want to make sure you use the money the way our deal assures you will which is... buying lingerie."
You pause, absorbing his words, the heat of the afternoon sun pressing down on you, making the moment feel even more surreal. "Fine. We follow each other on Instagram, so I'll DM you when it's done. But like you said, it's up to her what she wants to do with that information."
"Alright by me. See you soon," he replies, his tone casual yet carrying an underlying note of finality.
As you turn away, walking down the busy street, your mind races with the absurdity of the conversation.
What the hell just happened?
Your fingers hesitated over the blue send button, poised to confirm the completion of your part of the unusual bargain.
Earlier, you had shared with your friend the prospect of a date with Gojo Satoru, carefully omitting the details of the deal behind it. As expected, she was ecstatic, thrilled by the idea despite Gojo's questionable reputation—a fact that gnawed at your conscience. But what could you do? The arrangement was already in motion. Now, it was time to let Geto know that you had held up your end of the agreement, and it was his turn to fulfill his promise.
You took a sharp breath through your nose and pressed down on the screen, watching as the word "delivered" appeared beneath your message in the chat. Just as you were about to set the phone aside and start getting ready for bed, it pinged with a new message. It was from Geto Suguru. Your heart raced as you read the simple words.
When do you want to meet?
The sun blazes down as you approach your favorite boutique, the heat making the pavement shimmer like a mirage. Despite the sweltering temperature, you've donned a big, baggy sweater over your shorts—a choice more about comfort and less about fashion, especially since you didn’t want this meeting to scream 'date'. It’s your casual armor, albeit a warm one on a day like today.
As you near the boutique, you spot Geto Suguru waiting by the entrance. He leans casually against the wall, dressed in some graphic t-shirt and black jeans, his eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. This time his hair is completely up in a man bun that shows off his black gauge earrings and hints of a tattoo on his back. The moment he sees you, his lips curve into a knowing smile, as if he can read your thoughts about the outfit.
"Hey," he greets, pushing off from the wall to stand upright. His voice is smooth, a calm contrast to the bustling street around you. "I was starting to think you were gonna bail."
"And miss a chance at free money? I think not." you quip. "Hope Gojo enjoyed his date by the way." Sarcasm drips from your words and Suguru chuckles.
"Probably not as much as I'm gonna enjoy this." he counters smoothly. "Come on," he says, gesturing towards the boutique's door. "We got some shopping to do."
The moment you walk through the boutique doors, cool air hits you in refreshing waves, making you sigh with relief. The boutique interior sparkles with delicate lighting and the gentle clinking of hangers, an ambiance you know and love all too well. You notice that the store is unusually quiet today, with no other customers around—just the shop owner standing by the cashier, who flashes you a small, welcoming smile as you enter. As you step further, your eyes lock onto a stunning pink lingerie set draped elegantly on a mannequin right by the entrance. Its intricate lace and delicate details shimmer under the boutique’s soft lighting, radiating an aura of both luxury and temptation. It's new, and most definitely pricy.
"You’re staring," Geto observes with a smirk, catching you in your admiring glance.
"I'm appreciating," you correct him, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. The price tag hanging from the mannequin does nothing to deter you; it's clearly on the pricier side, but today, Geto’s wallet is on the line. "And since you’re offering, I think I’ll indulge."
Geto's laughter fills the air, playful and unbothered. "I should’ve known you'd go for the gold. Well, it’s your day. Let’s make my pockets weep then," he says, gesturing grandly towards the set.
Who were you to deny him?
You dive into the racks, your fingers grazing over silks and satins, selecting the most exquisite pieces you lay your eyes on. One by one, you gather a collection of lingerie sets—each more lavish than the last. There’s a daring scarlet set that promises to captivate, a royal blue ensemble that speaks of deep oceans, and a classic black lace number that's timeless in its elegance. By the time you're done, nine luxurious sets accompany the initial pink one on the counter.
Geto watches with a mixture of admiration and apprehension as the pile grows, his eyebrows raising slightly at each new addition. But he doesn’t protest; instead, he engages in light banter with the shop owner, who carefully folds each set into sleek boutique bags.
As the total rings up—a sum that makes even the shop owner blink twice—you don’t look away from Geto's face, watching for any sign of regret or hesitation. None comes. He simply pulls out his black card, the smirk never leaving his lips as he hands it over.
The transaction goes through with a soft beep, and you can’t help but feel a thrill of victory as he signs the receipt. You reach out to grab the bags and head toward the door, already planning where each piece will go in your wardrobe, when Geto’s voice stops you.
"Where do you think you’re going? We still have the other part of the deal, remember?" he says with no attempt to hide the amusement in his voice.
Geto's reminder hangs in the air, the playful edge in his voice more pronounced now. As realization dawns on you, you let out a low groan, remembering the full scope of the deal. "Oh," you say, hesitance hanging from your voice. "Right, the 'trying on' part."
"Exactly," he grins broadly. "Come on, my car is parked outside."
"HAH! You think I'm going to your house?" you scoff, raising an eyebrow in mock disbelief.
"Why not? Or can we go to yours?" he counters quickly, his grin turning into a challenging smirk.
You bite the side of your cheek. Your place was an absolute mess right now and you don't think you can handle Geto Surguru in your room. "Fine, yours it is," you finally concede.
The drive to Geto's place unfolds in a tense silence, your gaze fixed on the cityscape sliding past the car window. Your heart pounds with a mix of dread and nerves, the quiet amplifying the whirlwind of thoughts in your head. There had to be a way to get out of this. The idea of layering your clothes under the lingerie flickers through your mind, but you dismiss it almost instantly—Geto would see right through that. The thought of making a daring escape through a bathroom window doesn't seem entirely out of the question, though it feels more like a scene from a comedy than a realistic plan.
As you mull over these scenarios, you wonder about Geto's intentions. Was this all just a game to him, a way to tease you? He'd watched you choose each piece with care, so there was no question of you running off with his money. Was this some weird way he got off?
Your so into your thoughts that you dont even realize your at Geto's door.
"Welcome to my humble abode," He says through a grin as he swings upon the door. Rolling your eyes at his grandeur, you step inside, instantly taken by the loft's undeniable charm. The space is open and airy, with high ceilings and large, sunlit windows that overlook the bustling city below. Exposed brick walls add a touch of urban cool, while modern art pieces dot the walls, giving the place a curated yet lived-in feel.
"The bathroom is over there," Geto points nonchalantly towards a sleek, sliding door on the far side of the room. His tone is casual, as if inviting you to try on clothes was an everyday occurrence. He saunters over to a plush couch, settling in comfortably. "You can start whenever you're ready."
Feeling a flutter of nerves, you clutch the bag of lingerie a bit tighter. "You want me to—to try on all of them?" Your voice barely hides your anxiety.
"Nah, just two or three," he responds, his voice calm and nonchalant as he picks up a magazine from the coffee table.
With your heart pounding so loudly you're sure he can hear it, you make your way to the bathroom. The cool, modern aesthetics of the loft seem to blur as your mind races. Was this just a fucking joke to him?
As the door closes behind you, you set your bags down on the bathroom floor.
Holy shit Holy shit Holy shit.
You were going to die, this was it. You were going to die out of embarrassment because of god damn Geto Suguru. Your face burns a deep shade of red, heart racing as you lean against the cool, marble sink. Fuck, you're overwhelmed, your thoughts a tumultuous whirl, but you know you need to pull yourself together. Yes, the task is simple: pick two sets of lingerie, try them on, and get this ordeal over with. Just two sets, then you can leave. That's all.
Peeking through a slight crack in the bathroom door, you see Geto lounging effortlessly on the couch, casually flipping through a magazine as if he hasn't a care in the world. A quiet curse escapes your lips at his composure— god you hated him.
Turning back to the task at hand, you rummage through the bag containing the 10 pieces of lingerie. Each piece is stunningly beautiful, making the choice unexpectedly difficult. The last thing you wanted was to make it seem like you where trying to impress him. After a moment's hesitation, your hands settle on a set of black lace lingerie—bold but the plainest out of all of them.
Slipping into the black lace, you feel the fabric glide smoothly over your skin. The lace is intricate, delicate yet firm, offering a sensation that is both luxurious and comforting. As it settles into place, you notice how perfectly it cups your breasts, enhancing your natural shape without discomfort. The fabric molds to your body, sculpting your curves in a way that boosts your confidence, even in such a vulnerable moment.
Turning to face the mirror, you take a moment to really look at yourself. The lingerie accentuates your figure beautifully—your waist appears slimmer, your hips more pronounced. Yes, this was exactly what you loved about lingerie, how it made you look and more importantly how it made you feel. Despite the situation, you can't help but feel a surge of self-assurance. It's a small victory, but in this moment, it's enough to steady your nerves.
Now was the hard part.
Slowly you step out of the bathroom, your heart pounds fiercely in your chest, echoing in your ears. The moment the door clicks shut behind you, Geto's attention shifts from his magazine to you. He lays the magazine aside, his gaze instantly locking onto you. His eyes rake up and down your figure, taking in every detail of the black lace lingerie that clings to your curves.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" Geto muses, a teasing grin playing on his lips. "If it isn't the bravest fashion model of our time."
"S-shut up," you stammer, trying to mask your discomfort with irritation. "Just remember, I'm only doing this because of the deal."
"Oh, and you're doing it magnificently, may I add. Who knew you hid such bold taste under that sweater."
"It's just underwear, don't read too much into it," you retort, your cheeks warming under his scrutiny.
"Turn for me," he commands softly. "I want to see the back."
"What?" you falter, caught off guard.
"Turn for me, I want to see behind," he repeats more firmly.
Fuck it.
Reluctantly, you turn, exposing the delicate lace detailing on the back.
"Beautiful," he murmurs, almost to himself, his gaze lingering appreciatively on the design.
"What?" you ask, your voice wavering slightly—unsure if you're more startled by the compliment or by the intimacy of his tone.
"Nothing, baby," he responds, his hand dismissively waving as he looks away, pretending to refocus on something else in the room. "Go try on the next one."
You dont say anything, instead slipping back into the bathroom and rummaging through the bag. Your heart still thumps audibly in your chest, but now there's an undercurrent of excitement mixed with the nerves. The flutter in your chest isn't just from anxiety though; it's also from a burgeoning sense of empowerment. You realize that you have control over how you present yourself, a certain power over Sugruru.
After discarding the set you were wearing, you reach into the bag and pull out the pink set you splurged on earlier. The fabric is luxurious, with a hint of sheerness to the bra that would no doubt show your nipples. The underwear is equally bold, designed as a thong with delicate straps that loop around each thigh, highlighting the curves of your hips and legs.
As you slip into the pink lingerie, the fabric settles against your skin like a whispered secret. The sheer material of the bra makes you acutely aware of your own body, and as you adjust the straps around your thighs, the ensemble frames your form in a way that feels almost artistically deliberate.
Yes, just after this you would be done. So why not go out with a bang?
As you step out of the bathroom, the transformation in your demeanor is palpable. The delicate pink lingerie accentuates your confidence, which resonates with each step you take towards Geto. His eyes lift to meet yours, and the moment they travel down to take in the full view, his expression shifts dramatically to one of... shock? His usual composure falters, and he lets out a low, incredulous whistle.
"Jesus Christ," he breathes out.
You shift in place, playing with the silk hem of your underwear.
After a moment, he composes himself slightly and gestures towards him with a slight tilt of his head. "Come here," he says softly, his voice low and inviting.
You pause, the hesitation clear in your stance. The intensity in his gaze and the palpable tension in the air make your heart race even faster.
Seeing your reluctance, Geto's expression softens. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes never leaving yours. "Please," he adds, a hint of something more vulnerable in his tone this time.
The room seems to pulse with the silent energy between you as you take a tentative step forward, then another, drawn by the magnetic pull of his gaze. The air thickens with a charged mix of anticipation and desire as you finally stop just a breath away from him.
He looks up at you, standing up from his seat, his gaze intense yet tender. "You look incredible," he murmurs. You flinch when you feel his hand his finger trace your jaw and his other hand play with the hem of your lace underwear. He bends down, his lips just grazing your cheek, a feather-light touch that sends shivers down your spine, making your entire body quiver. "If you want me to stop, say it now," he whispers. When you remain silent, he brushes his mouth against the hollow of your temple. "Or now." He traces the curve of your cheekbone. "Or now." His lips meet yours.
For a moment your so shocked that he kissed you, you don't do anything. It feels like you are having an out-of-body experience like you can't believe this as actually happening to you. Then in a matter of seconds, his lips move against yours and you melt. Suguru is gentle at first, then unyieldingly hard. You feel yourself falling —not just physically, but emotionally too. You open for him and his tongue snakes its way inside your mouth. His hands move from your face to your lower back as he pulls you toward him, closing whatever space was left between you. He pushes you against him as he deepens the kiss. One of his hands remains on your hip, while the other travels to cup your breasts.
"W-what are you doing?" You manage to gasp but Geto just kisses the hollow of your throat."
"Why? Do you want me to stop?" He mumbles against your skin. And you know you should say yes, but you shake your head. Like a fool.
"Good girl."
Without a warning, Geto sweeps you up in his arms with an ease that leaves you breathless, carrying you effortlessly across the room to his bed.
Geto stands over you, his eyes tracing the contours of your body splayed elegantly across his bed.
"Shit baby, you let anyone else see you like this?"
You thickly gulp and shake your head.
"Oh thank god." He murmurs, climbing over you to place light kisses along your neck, trailing down your chest. Each kiss is soft yet deliberate, sending a cascade of warmth through your entire body. You close your eyes, allowing yourself to be fully immersed in the sensation.
"Your skin feels like silk," he murmurs.
"Did you steal that line from a hallmark card?" You crack.
"Nope just stating a fact." He skims the underside of your bra with his fingers. "Always watched you come out of the store, always wanted to see how you'd look in what you bought." He lifts his head to give you a wry look "You're so smooth and perfect you know that right?"
You let out a soft gasp when his lips find your nipple, pulling your lacy bra down so soft lips can evoke your nub.
"Oh god sugu-" He doesn’t let you get to the last consonant, his eager, hot mouth enveloping one of your nipples and sucking. His tongue flattens, rolling your peak and swirling around your areola, fast and rough until you’re whining. His ears go hot at the sounds you’re making, all desperate and needy.
"So beautiful, fuck your tits are so beautiful" He groans into your skin like it was cocaine. He then switches to your other breast, sucking and licking until he knows you will be sore. Jesus, your breasts feel so good in his mouth, so soft and sweet, why didn't he do this sooner? How much longer did he think he could maintain this facade of being your 'enemy' when all he truly desired was to have you underneath him?
You are squirming underneath him now, the stimulation of his wet tongue on your nipple is becoming unbearable and so was the growing heat between your legs. Your tits feel so good in his mouth, supple, sweet, far better than his imagination could ever conjure
"God, sugu-"
"Love it when you say my name." Suguru breaths between licks and you feel your stomach twist with.
"Sugu please" you manage to gasp, "please touch me please anything please-"
"Fuck you?" Suguru coos, and the words make warmth blossom from your core.
"Please." You breath.
And who was he to deny you?
Without much of a word he pulls your lace panties down to your ankles, making you instinctively hide your bare cunt with your hands, but he clicks the roof of his mouth with his tongue and swats your fingers away. Then, as he stands over you, Suguru steps out of his black pants and pulls off his t-shirt. As you glimpse Suguru, you feel your breath get caught in your throat. His large, incredibly toned frame is a clear testament to rigorous workouts, and intricate tattoos weave across his skin, adding to the attraction.
You were no longer in the kiddie pool.
You are too immersed in his figure that you dont even notice he has lowered down his black boxers just enough so his long length springs out and slaps against his abdomen.
You thickly gulp.
"I dont think that will-" You stammer, the sheer size or his dick making your gut twist and turn. "I think it will hurt I dont think it will-" As you continue to stammer, searching for the right words, Geto cuts you off with a deep, consuming kiss that immediately shuts you up. When he finally pulls back, a confident smirk plays on his lips.
"It will, baby, it always does," he murmurs, his voice low and dark.
Geto positions himself atop you, his strong legs straddling either side of your body, anchoring him in place. He leans over you, the intensity of his gaze capturing yours as he methodically entwines his fingers with yours. With a firm but gentle grasp, he pins your hands down on either side of your body, his proximity reducing the world to the space between you. The warmth of his breath brushes against your face, his presence both overwhelming and exhilarating, as he holds you there under him, completely in control yet tender in his touch.
Before you can even get a word in, you gasp when you feel large pressure against your hole.
"Slowly baby," he hushes you before you can protest. "I'll go slowly."
Suguru's slow roll of hips hips into you is enough to make you scream. The way his dick parts your walls and fills every single inch of you makes your brain go hazy, especially when his tip smooshes against your cervix, sending blots of electricity throughout your body.
"Talk to me baby," Suguru murmurs, his voice cracking from the vice grip your cunt has on dick. "Want me to move?"
You're too lost in the hazy pleasure to form words, all you can do is nod, making Geto breathe out an air of what must be relief. His thrusts started out shallow and slow, testing the waters for how much he could get away with. What your limits were, and if you could fully take him for what he wanted.
You feel like you are going insane from the pleasure. Your cries came silent from your throat, eyes screwed shut in complete bliss. Your body adjusted rather quickly to him, Suguru coaxing you to relax as he peppers kisses along your neck, sucking and biting your sensitive skin. And as you adjusted, your hips began to buck against him at their own pace, beckoning him to move faster.
Of course, Suguru doesn't miss this, and without missing a beat he speads up his thrusts, the pap pap pap of his skin against your echoing in your ears
"Shit, you feel so good baby." Geto practically whines. You don't know it, but he's starting to lose his grip, the overwhelming pleasure beginning to unravel his usual composure.
The delicious friction of his dick scrapping your walls has your heart pounding in your ears and your breath close to hyperventilating. Everything is too much too good all at once. The proximity of Geto's body is overwhelming, his warm skin against yours, his ragged breath hot against your neck. When you gaze into his face, the sight nearly makes you faint—his eyes scrunched shut, lost in euphoria, beads of sweat lining his black hairline. His mouth is slightly open, panting, a sight that makes your cunt flutter from excitement.
"Su-Suguru, so good you're fucking me so good." you babble and he can only groan in response. Your toes curled and uncurled as he continued to wreck your body with his completely brutal thrusts. The pain of him hitting the tip of your cervix nearly every time mixed with the kisses he peppered on your neck and lips was all enough to end you to heaven.
He knows you're close. And you know it too. The way Suguru is fucking you is truly a primal display of affection; him rutting into your cunt like an animal in heat and you frantically scratching and clawing at his back.
Thats when an idea hits you, no, a need overcomes you, You need Suguru, you need all of him, all of him inside you filling you up and making you his.
"Sugu cum in me please," you beg through a hoarse voice. "Fill me up please please please."
He’s been pressing kisses and biting into your shoulder, but you don’t miss the way he practically whines at your words.
"Course baby, course I will."
As if on cue, you feel your seize up and your mind go blank. It feels like your body is free falling into a euphoric grave, electric arrows of pleasure coursing through your sin and directly to your core.
"Oh shit" Suguru curses at the way your cunt clamps down on him and it isnt to long before he follows you, shooting thick ropes of cum straight into your belly. In a fluid motion without leaving your insides once, he picks you up so you are straddling him, and his bare chest is pressed against yours.
“You’re so warm,” he murmurs into your ear. And you can only sigh in response.
'I'll buy you 1000 more lingerie sets if we can do this again."
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