#just cuz of how frustrating and distressing this all is

[nimoy]

today is the day i get surgery or dont. im so nervous lol

[sillyhahasilly]

bottom andre hcs :))

I do not see a universe where in caldres first penetrative sex andre bottomed. I think cal would be so eager to do either that when andre asked if he could fuck him he was for it. andres internalized homophobia and stigma around being the one to bottom would be too deep. he would consider it, but would push down his want to be taken like that by cal. still in a "I'm not really that gay" mindset. it was a reg first time. both enjoyed it endlessly

still, the next time they fucked, cal rode him. and andre LOVED it. he loved cal being in control like that, making him a grunty mess. at first he tried to act like he was the one in control, but it faded really quick. cal made him come twice in a row that night. the funny thing is, cal wasn't even trying to take over much anyway, but andre naturally fell into letting cal guide him. blind leading blind. their next time was like this too. and andre asked cal with embrassesment to "just do that thing u did before again, cal. dude I'm not gonna repeat it."

the forth time cal straight up asked to fuck andre. and andre was really reluctant but he had seen how much cal was enjoying himself, and ever since he fucked cal for the first time the majority of his fantasies had been about cal fucking him, so he said yes.

cal offered to finger him open like andre did their first, but andre was too proud. so he did it himself. but that kinda backfired cuz he ended up in a fetal position fingering himself, hissing and sighing. cal sat back and palmed himself over his boxers and he kept making comments like, "I can't wait to fuck you, andre. it will feel so good I promise." andre told him to stfu, but it got him going even more. cal knew that ofc.

when he was ready they went at it lol. andre faced the truth that he enjoys bottoming more then topping. hooray.

when he first started bottoming, he was mostly too blissed out to do much beside moan and swear in german and english.

as he got used to it, he dirty talked. like all the time. he met cal right back w it.

parking his car at the side of the woods at night and straddling cal in the passenger seat and riding him. yeah.

when he is mad at cal he doesn't bottom, kinda as a punishment of taking away something both prefer more in a way that allows him to overstim cal in a way he isn't used to. works for him, sex is sex.

still sometimes he takes out his frustration by forcing cal in w little prep, or fucking himself back onto him really rough, making cal come fast.

scratches cals back up a lot.

prefers positions where he can see cals face. he doesn't like to have his back and ass to cal bc it makes him feel too feminine and gay, but sometimes they do it anyway.

doesn't enjoy cal coming inside much.

gunplay andre gunplay andre he has had some of the best sex when cal points a gun at his head and tells him that he could kill him at any moment while he fucks him. andre uses the gun on cal sometimes too.

erm tw sh. back onto the sexually punishing cal things. we all know that hc cal self harms. sometimes andre rides cal and gives him swallow cuts. yea. (cal is so fucking into it)

andre is not a kisser while being fucked. he js kinda moans into open air or cals mouth.

he is actually good at keeping quiet. he is a grunter.

sometimes he bites himself on his wrist or shoulder or even cals body, too. he has made both of them bruise by that before.

I js think andre likes letting someone else, the only person in the world he trusts other than himself, take control so he can distress. we all know he is a control freak.

thank you the person who requested this!!!

[the-daiz]

Arachnophobia | One Punch Man

Synopsis; How One Punch Men would react to you calling them to get rid of a spider in your house.

Characters; Saitama, Genos, Zombieman, speed-o’-sound sonic, Flashy flash, Child emperor(platonic)

Genre; Crack, fluff

A/N: I was just daydreaming abt zombieman cuz I love him so much and thought of this scenario so why not have it with the rest of these guys (and boy)

this can be viewed both platonically and romantically, except child emperor, he’s purely platonic ofc

SAITAMA

When you first call him, and you hesitate a bit while trying to explain you situation since it’s slightly embarrassing for you, he rushes you then gets a bit worried thinking it might be something serious

he then proceeds to say “seriously…?” When you finally tell him why you’re calling: there was a spider in your house and you were too scared to do anything but stand on top of your table, keeping a wary eye out incase the soider tries to approach.

At first he was about to decline and tell you to just squish it with a shoe, or trap it under a cup and throw it out your window, but when he hears the actual fear in your voice, he sighs and puts on his slippers. He’s supposed to save people and stuff after all…

Surprisingly, when Saitama arrives to kill the creature… he sucks at it. It keeps just escaping from him, no matter how fast or strong he was.

Saitama started to grow mad with every passing second, trashing your house as he jumped from spot to spot trying to catch the thing, with you pointing and yelling frantically from your safe-zone on the table.

”IT’S RIGHT THERE, NO- NO- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AIMING AT, SAITAMA?! YOU SUCK AT THIS- OH MY- ITS RIGHT THERE, KILL IT!!!” -You “STOP YELLING YOU’RE MAKING ME LOSE FOCUS.” -Saitama

Your house quickly becomes almost like a war-zone with both of you yelling at eachother from the top of your lungs, you out of panic and him out of frustration.

Saitama eventually squishes the spider…. Then an army of tiny spiders erupts from it.

Saitama tries to deal with them quickly, throwing punches at all of them.

when he’s done, he turns to you with a fulfilled expression on his face but deadpans once he catches you lying passed out on the table and foaming at the mouth.

Ofc he takes you to the hospital though.

GENOS

Unlike Saitama, he takes it very seriously when you call him and tell him the predicament you're in.

He doesn’t quite understand the big issue, it's just a bug… but he can detect when someone is in distress, and either way, he would do anything you ask of him.

When he arrives at your home, he’s already gathered enough information on how to safely deal with spiders to take the best approach he can to this.

he grabs a glass container and a piece of paper, proceeds to efficiently trap the spider, and throws it outside.

He does listen to your instructions though and releases it at least a kilometer away from your home.

He then comes back to check on you and gives you a small, almost pitiful, pat on the back.

”Don’t worry about it, you did good.” -Genos, with his very stoic expression

ZOMBIEMAN

MY MUSEEEE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Sorry, anyhow, when you call him, your voice is obviously on edge, and you tell him what’s wrong. The first he does is reassure you over the phone, telling you everything will be fine and he’ll be right there.

And as he said, he was right there.

He checks up on you when he first enters the house, then goes to search for the spider.

When he finds it, he ALMOST stomps on it with his shoe out of surprise but quickly remembers how it’ll probably cause a bigger problem, and like genos he uses the good old glass container and paper method and throws it out.

After that, he helps you get down from the table, with his hands firmly holding you from your sides.

If you’re still uneasy even after he gets rid of the spider, he’ll give you a reassuring embrace, with his large build basically consuming you.

He then takes you out somewhere nice to eat.

SPEED-O’-SOUND SONIC

Ahhh, speed of the sounds

Calls you stupid at first, and tells you to just kill it or leave it be, its more scared of you than you are of it.

But not a second later he’s at your door and asking where the spider is.

He REALLY doesn’t get what the big deal is, it’s just a spider. Nonetheless, he doesn’t really question it much and helps out anyway.

He grabs the spider gently with his hands and throws it out the window, then flashes you an unamused look.

Again, he calls you weak but then tells you not to worry so much when you have someone like him around.

FLASHY FLASH

Sassy flash

He’s irked by your call, then hangs up on you

….

He then calls you again not a second later and asks if you’re actually panicking, and when you say yes, suddenly he busts down your door.

He HATES spiders. But that doesn’t mean he can’t deal with them

thanks to a previous encounter he had with the creature, he learned killing them is a bad idea.

So he hesitantly kept trying to get the spider under the damn cup, but every time he did and it would move, he’d dash to the other side of the room instinctively, releasing the spider once more.

It takes him about 10 tries to finally get the spider out of the house.

After making sure that you’re ok, he then tells you to never waste his time on such ridiculous things ever again

he doesn't mean it though, don’t worry, he’d do it again for you

CHILD EMPORER

He is scared of spiders too

Reluctantly he shows up at your house.

He tries to act tough but you can clearly see the sweat running down his face as he uses his robotic equipment to slowly look under the couch for the spider.

When he finally catches it, he screams, prompting you to scream, and blasts the area of the spider with a laser beam.

the both of you stare intently at the area of the blast and let out a sigh simultaneously as the ash clears and the arachnid has been successfully vaporized.

You both give each other a pat on the back for being so brave

Then you offer to take child emperor to a nearby store and get some ice cream together

he happily obliges and you both skip out of the destroyed apartment with your hands intertwined.

[hoeforhao]

🌙 Fated Under The Rain ☆ Wonwoo Oneshot ☆

↝ pairing: ex boyfriend! wonwoo × fem! reader

↝ genre: explicit language, smut with little plot, minors dni!!!!!! mutual pining but mainly from wonwoo, fluff, slight humor, overall nothing heavy just a small sensual drabble.

↝ warnings: unprotected sex(wrap it up kids), creampie, breast play, fingering, marking. Tell me if I missed any!

↝ summary: will offering lift to the man who left you in pieces amidst heavy rain lead to something your heart has been craving for months?

↝ word count: 2k(am sorry😭)

↝ author's note: was driving back home yesterday while it was literally pouring down outside, my favorite song playing on spotify and all i could think of instead focusing on the road was this plot!

Lemme know if you enjoyed the drabble! Feedbacks always make me feel warm♡

Permanent taglist : @feat-sun @joonsytip

Amidst the rain seeping it's path down the glass panels, the heaven clan's haze shielding your view from the mundane maneuver of the blurred out world, your glistening beads have found their long craved spot onto the tall, broad shouldered man standing by the signal, hair and shirt completely soaked up from the pouring skies, while his eyes were desperately searching for a way back - was it to his brick stoned house or his lost home?

"Going back home?" thrusting on the clutch and then the brake to bring your car to a halt at the blinking bloody lights, you roll down the passenger side's window as a way to offer some sort of help to the seemingly distressed man on top of the pavement.

A familiar voices grazes wonwoo's ears as his eyes shoot up in anticipation,looking for the owner of the claimed voice, only to land them on you. Did rain cloud his vision? Cuz there's no way that you were now parked beside him, asking whether he's struggling to get back home or not.

"Y-yes" the older nervously scratches the back of his head, not sure of what to say to the person he has pained so deep.

"I can drop you off, if you don't mind obviously" only you knew how hard it was for you to maintain an indifferent composure before the one man you've cared for and treasured so dearly, being fully aware of the fact that he's highly sensitive to rainwater; 'typical cat behavior' you laugh at yourself!

"No its fine. I'll find a cab soon" wonwoo tries to be as polite as possible, even though every vein of his body wants to jump into the car right now.

"I've been watching you clawing onto your scalp in frustration for the past 30 minutes and you think i'll still believe in your 'will find a cab soon'?" you genuinely didn't realise when the old habits took over the new persona and you started acting as the protective girlfriend you were, visualizing that one time he fell severely ill for days after getting poured onto on his way to the office; a memory you never wanna revisit ever again.

"Hop on quick if you don't wanna end up amongst the white walls for the second time!! Only 10 seconds are left to go" eyes quickly deviating towards the beeping timer of the signal, while you shift up the gear and slowly start bringing up your feet off the floor, ready to drive out as soon as the light turns green.

All of wonwoo's self control leave his body seeing the same old care flash by on his lost lover's face, as he swiftly pulls onto the door's latch, positioning his nearly drenched body onto the leather seats.

The defeaning silence between the two past kins were filled by wonwoo's occasional glances at the strong independent lady sitting beside him and the radio playing your favorite songs, those which you constantly looped onto spotify throughout the entire spell of your heart longing for wonwoo.

Looks like even the gods are against you today as a warm wet hand lands on yours that were stationed onto the gear beside. As much as you wanted to engulf those palms into yours instantly and never let them go, you knew quite well that he was now not yours, not your to claim, not your to hold onto. Thus the only thing you could do was keep your eyes fixed onto the slippery road infront and drive him home safe.

But the heavens knew better. Your plans were currently going for a battle with you as wonwoo kept on grazing his soft gentle digits onto the back of your hand, everytime you shifted them to change the gear, drawing small circles on them occasionally.

The sensation now reaching the threshold of your body, making your skin call for the touch of his lips and your insides craving the warmth of his body, it was time for you to slow down your car by a deserted road and park the black shiny carrier under the moonlight.

"What do you want wonwoo?" a stern yet begging pair of eyes turns towards the passenger seat, where the big man was resting his wet body on.

"I miss you y/n. I've always missed you" wonwoo now completely engulfs your palms into his, squeezing them hard from the anticipation of what's about to come his way. "Can...can i feel you for one last time, pls?"

You see the desperation behind those black boba balls, the way those droplets of tears are being held captive in the backroom; besides it was gradually getting hard to ignore the pained screams of your body to feel him beneath you. Abandoning all the huff,anger, hurt that made their home in you for so long, you fleetly jumped out from the driver's seat while pushing back wonwoo's to make enough space for you on his lap.

Startled by the sudden presence of your wet clothed cunt over the tent in his tight jeans, wonwoo's body jolts up in the heat flowing through him, dulling his morals and senses as he only wants to fuck the life out of you right now ; and he shows no delay in his endeavor as he clings his mouth onto your neck like a beast deprived of his meal for months, loitering the supple skin beneath with his marks.

"I missed you so fuckin much y/n" he whispers into your nape, hands roaming up your waist, under your satin shirt, caressing the soft pillowy tummy he has always preferred laying on, pawing onto your boobs over the black lacey bra you wore to work, for lord knows what reasons; while his lips now clutched themselves to your plumpy vanilla lips.

"May I, please?" there's literally not a single person on the earth who can say no to those pleasing kitty eyes. So you just hummed against the kiss - not a passionate one but a longing one; wonwoo's lips were moving on yours in such insatiable hunger that it seemed like he wanted to imprint the taste onto his mouth forever, who knows if he'll ever get to feel them again....as if his lips have finally found their twin flame they've been craving for months now!

One single go signal from you and wonwoo wasted no time in tugging onto the buttons of your flowy shirt, ripping them open in just a matter of seconds. His eyes lit up like an excited puppy upon seeing your bare skin, glowing under the moonlit rainy sky....oh how he has missed this sight of yours so much, you whimpering on him, all vulnerable and begging for his touch against your heated core.

"Fuck you're still so sweet my love" he moans into your jiggly soft boobs, mouth fixed onto one of your hardened nipples, while he pawed at the other one.

The words 'my love' from the mouth of the one your heart still belongs to, still craves for and still wants to be claimed by, does no good in controlling the dripping from your already soaked pussy, as you start roughly grinding against his clothed length.

"Hmmm so impatient for my cock, aren't you pretty baby" a wide smirk creeping it's way onto wonwoo's face as he notices you getting impatient to feel him inside you. Finding it exciting and a prideful moment for him, the hand that was kneading onto your doughy mounds now trails down to your panties under the very convenient skirt your were harboring ; drawing his cold fingers over your sensitive clothed clit sending your head thrown against the windshield of your car.

"Pls..pls stop teasing and fuck me already wonu" you were yourself amazed at how desperate you seemed for his cock in your throbbing pussy.

"But I don't have a condom sweetheart" wonwoo knew absolutely well that you didn't give a damn about having unprotected sex with him as he smirked onto the skin around your nipples, teasing your wet sticky fold with his free fingers ; pulling out a string of slick from your pussy infront of you, he proudly shows you how much of a slut you're for his touch.

"You..ahh...you think...I....shit...fuckin care about having a condom right now? Just go in raw please....haven't felt your cock in me....for so long....fuck" lord if anyone ever got near to the black beauty parked on the roadside and heard the lewd sounds escaping your lips, they would surely be traumatized for days, but that was the least of your concerns now.

"As my princess wishes" and with that wonwoo quickly moves his limbs towards his pants, shoving down the chain of his trousers in the flick of an eye, while he finally releases his strained hard cock from its restraints, precum leaking down its tip as he tries to slightly palm down the pain before sheathing them into your walls.

"Just as tight as I left it" he growls onto your neck as his cock now thrusts into your slick walls at a inhumane pace, as if he slowly down, he'll forever lose the warmth of this pussy. "Fitting me so well into the mould u created only for me to fill"

The rain outside and the haze of all the juices leaking from the two bodies inside the car, creates a mystical world bounded within the tinted glasses of the vehicle, while wonwoo keeps on fucking you dumb onto his lap.

"I...I'm near wonw-- ah fuck" you lose control over your core muscles at the sensation of wonwoo's tip hitting your womb, as your core's glistening cream paints his black jeans white ; not to mention you were now embarrassed at the fact that he has to go home with such stained pants....or maybe not-

"My pretty little whore, so glowy after ruining my new jeans huh" you can feel wonwoo's pace slowing down a bit, knowing quite well what's about to follow. "Lemme return the favor and ruin your insides, ruin your pussy so that no one can get to bury themselves in you, except me.....only my hole to fuck"

Wonwoo's body falls limp onto the headrest of the seat as he shoots his entire load into you, cock still moving amongst your walls, fucking his seeds deep inside you.

"Can i have another chance, please?" wonwoo finally looks you into your pleasure coated eyes while shifting you on his lap to wrap your arms around his neck, resting his sweat forehead onto yours.

"At what? Fucking me?" you were seemingly confused at his words as you didn't think he would be wanting anything else other than sex, after how he let go off your hand in the middle of you two's promised path, 8 months ago.

"No...no...at l-loving you, pls" his voice suddenly portrays a cast of regret and pain, "I know I fucked up, I hurt the one I've loved with all my might all this time. I...I could never get you out of my head y/n, my eyes and my heart kept looking for you at every corner of my messed up life. Pls, will you give your catto one last chance?" something unexpected rolled down wonwoo's cheeks and it was none other than tear drops. Was...was he really crying for you, begging you back into his arms again?

"This time if you leave, I'll make sure to castrate you, so that you can't ever get a girl around you after me" you laugh onto his skin while placing a gentle kiss on his forehead, your fingers wiping off the dried out tears on his cheeks.

"I'll happily place my dick under your guillotine, my highness" wonwoo hasn't felt this happy since months, heart fluttering at the thought of walking beside you again, fingers locked into one another's.

Your heart swells looking at the misty scene outside, remembering how the first time you two decided to date, it was raining cats and dogs as you were pulling him under a tree to sheath yourselves from the rain...and now when the skies decided to grant you another chance at healing your soul with the one you loved, it's raining heavily - again!!!

"Eh but what about your pants wonu, how will you go home with these...ummm...stains" a genuine question you've been dying to ask him, as you surely don't have a change for men's jeans in your car.

"Who said we are going home baby"

[doumadono]

Hi Luvs!! This is an emergency request and I would like to ask can you do Bakugou x Gn! Reader where Bakugou comfort Reader who has low confidence and insecure??I'm requesting this cuz lately I've been having no confidence especially in my body and I always find something that makes me insecure like how broad my shoulders are and stuffs. I hope this isn't alot to ask♡♡

A boy who believed - Bakugo x gn!Reader

A/N: remember, your body is unique and beautiful just as it is. Everyone has features that make them feel insecure, but those same features are what make us unique and special

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

The day had been relentlessly harsh, and as you sat in your dorm room at U.A. High School, the weight of your insecurities felt almost unbearable. You couldn’t escape the whirlwind of self-doubt that spiraled around your mind, attacking every aspect of your appearance and worth. The mirror seemed to taunt you, reflecting back the things you hated about yourself - your appearance, your perceived flaws, every detail that made you feel less than. "Why can't I just be confident?" you muttered to yourself, frustration and sadness mingling in your voice.

A sharp knock on your door snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. You wiped away a stray tear and called out, "Come in."

Bakugo entered. his sharp eyes immediately took in your distressed state. "Oi, what’s going on with you? You've been acting off all goddamn day."

You tried to shrug it off, but Bakugo's piercing gaze made it hard. Too hard. "It's nothing, Katsuki. Just… having one of those days."

He didn't buy it for a second. Instead, he sat down beside you on your bed. "Cut the crap. I know something’s up. Tell me."

Taking a shaky breath, you looked down at your hands. "I just… I don’t feel good about myself. I hate how I look, I hate my broad shoulders, body, everything. I feel so insecure."

Bakugo's eyes softened as he reached out and gently tilted your chin up so you were looking at him. "Listen to me, and you listen good, nerd. You're amazing just the way you are. You think I give a damn about how broad your shoulders are? Hell no. You're strong, you're capable, and you're perfect to me, just the way you are."

A tear slipped down your cheek, and Bakugo wiped it away with a tenderness that contrasted with his usual grumpy nature. "But it's hard not to compare myself to others. I just don’t feel like I measure up."

He sighed deeply, then pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "Screw what others think. You’re not here to measure up to anyone else. You’re here to be you, and that’s more than enough. I see you, all of you, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing."

You clung to him, feeling the tears flow freely now, a mixture of relief and lingering sadness. "But what if I can’t stop feeling this way?"

Katsuki pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes, his expression fierce with determination. "Then I’ll be here every damn day to remind you how incredible you are. You’re strong, and not just physically. You’ve got a heart that cares so much, and that’s something to be proud of."

You sniffled, a small smile breaking through your tears. "Thanks, Katsuki. I really needed to hear that."

After some time, Bakugo insisted on dragging you to the common area where some of the other students were hanging out. "C'mon, we're not gonna sit in that room all night. Let's go."

You hesitated but followed him, his hand firmly holding yours. As you entered the common room, you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you. It was hard to maintain your composure.

But Bakugou squeezed your hand reassuringly and leaned in to whisper, "Remember what I said. You’re amazing just as you are."

The rest of the evening was spent surrounded by friends, laughter, and a sense of belonging. For the first time in a long while, you felt a flicker of confidence begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth and strength of the boy who believed in you more than you have ever believed in yourself.

[livrere-green]

ATLA x Omegaverse AU

Part 1 | Part 2

I've been thinking about an omegaverse atla au a lot recently, so I'm gonna vent about it cuz it's getting tiring just to have it spiralling in my head ngl

So, the only thing that I need to mention now it's that the standard age at which someone presents is around 13 to 14 years old. Knowing that, lets talk about the main characters.

Aang (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. Also, I don't believe that being the avatar makes him an alpha perse. I mean, there's a possibility he presents as one (but he could also be a beta), and it wouldn't have anything to do with his avatar status (historically there could be a higher rate of avatars being alphas/betas, but there are some important exceptions... iykwim). Well, I think he'd present at age 13 almost 14.

Katara (14) is one of the characters that confuses me the most in this aspect, but just to add fuel to her fury and her personality, I'll make her an omega, not the kind that rejects her nature but the kind that embraces it and doesn't see it as something that makes her inferior or helpless. Katara would fight against the life society wants to impose on her in the same way she does in canon, maybe even more. She would resent the people who doesn't respect her because of her gender and at some point, she'd get frustrated about it, but she would think that hating herself would mean letting her oppressors win. About her presentation, there's two option: 1. She presented some months before they found Aang, 2. She presented during the first months they were traveling to the NWT (in this case, I think the ideal place would've been Kyoshi Island, because there's people able to take care of her there).

Sokka (15) would be an alpha, he probably presented after Hakoda left (14), he fits the type and the stereotypical personality at the beginning of the show. But I think he would get over it sooner rather than later, because the why he acts has to do more with his perception of himself and the expectations set upon his shoulders than with unshakeable beliefs about the ability of betas and omegas. He would learnt to respect and don't underestimate them quickly. Also, I think that Sokka would scent the Gaang to protect them and particularly to cover Katara's scent as they travel or run away from trouble.

Toph (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. She'd present as an alpha some time after the end of the war (13). There's not a lot to explain here (talking about her at that age, except for the fact that even during her time with the Gaang, she probably hated Sokka's essence, just as an early hint about her gender). I consider that there's a lot to discuss about her as an adult and how she managed her relationships, but that's a discussion for another time.

Zuko (16) would be an omega, and also a late bloomer, probably presented a couple of years after his banishment (15).. Zuko would be determined to hide his true nature under any circumstances, letting only his Uncle know about it. Ozai would've been informed that his son is a beta, which was already a disappointment for the Royal Family (historically alphas), but it wasn't nearly as negative as being reduced to be treated as an omega. Zuko would end up causing himself a lot of damage in order to disguise as a beta, either by using too many suppressants or other medications, or even hurting himself. He would stop hiding after joining the Gaang but It'll be complicated, since he'd be distressed all the time and even Aang and Toph would be able to notice (their senses are not totally develop, so it'll be kinda alarming).

Suki (15) would be a beta, presented at 14. In her case, the characteristics of its gender would be especially helpful to mediate conflict or get out of it. The scent of a beta has calming effects in both alphas and omegas, so she would use it with her friends, or even in battle, to make her opponents lose focus, particularly if they are driven by rage. The fans are particularly helpful for that.

Azula (14) would present early as an alpha (12/13). At that age, one of the traits she would manifest the most is assuming the position of head of the pact with her friends, she'd probably scent them with the intention of establishing superiority and control over them. In this context, Mai would be a beta and Ty Lee an omega or a beta as well.

That's all for now, I still have some things in mind for this, but I'll share that later, and if you have questions, I'll be happy to answer!

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

‼️[TW: slight gore; OCD intrusive thoughts mention]‼️

something that i am INCREDIBLY infuriated at is how OCD is presented and shown in media.

they will make people saying that they need to turn a light on and off 12 times to prevent their family from dying as a funny skit for people to laugh at, when in actuality that’s how it feels and seems to that person. it is so real to that person.

and also, they only seem to present OCD in an afraid of germs way, and the turning the light on and off way, when once again, in actuality, it is pretty damn common that OCD isn’t even obvious, and also looks much more like avoiding things in a very much less obvious way.

and like yes, OCD can also be being afraid of germs, and having obvious compulsions, but that’s not the only way it can be seen, and i don’t think i’ve ever seen representation of OCD that’s in another way, one that’s more like MY OCD.

i want more COMMON depictions of OCD that AREN’T used as FUNNY LITTLE SKITS.

and it’s infuriating and frustrating that how literally SO MANY PEOPLE don’t ACTUALLY know what OCD is! they think it’s liking things organized, liking things clean, and etc. and SIMPLY that.

they don’t realize it involves INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS that are unwanted and are highly distressful and don’t leave us alone most of the time/when severe.

and on top of that, they don’t fucking know the difference between intrusive thoughts and impulsive thoughts.

impulsive thoughts is “oh i just cut off all my hair cuz i felt like it” and intrusive thoughts is “i had the sudden image of jabbing these scissors into my skull”

intrusive thoughts are not fucking fun, and ALL those with OCD struggle have them, pretty much daily, and usually have a deep core belief that they are a bad person (depending on the intrusive thoughts) because of them their WHOLE LIVES, whether they know they have OCD or not, whether they’ve been in therapy for it or not.

i am fucking TIRED of people not knowing what OCD is, not knowing what intrusive thoughts are, and the misinterpretation/one interpretation of it in media.

every time i see a misinterpretation or misinformation about it, i become absolutely livid.

if i had clearer representation of OCD growing up, i honestly would’ve known that i didn’t have all these horrible subconscious wishes, and that i wasn’t the worst person on the planet for my intrusive thoughts.

we need better representation immediately, and for people to actually care to represent it and understand it.

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

Out of curiosity, who would you swap on a bodyswap/element swap?

And who’s the most likely to have an accidental elemental outburst because the element & emotions that respond strongest to that outburst is different than their usual outbursts?

I think swapping the opposites (Cole+Jay and Kai+Zane) would probably yield the most chaotic results. Jay just constantly causing earthquakes just cuz he’s happy, and Cole trying to bury all his emotions but they keep coming out in sharp crackles at even the smallest bit of provoking. Or Kai being the coldest he’s even been in his life but the Ice isn’t responding to his extreme distress because Ice thrives with less emotion. And then Zane being unable to keep still with the thrum of Fire constantly burning in him, always itching to do something, anything, and disagreeing with Zane’s natural instinct to wait and watch.

But, them swapping with an element more “adjacent” to them could be super fun too! And, honestly, in this very specific scenario they’d probably have more Outbursts from being out of tune with their newfound elements.

Kai with Lightning would be chaotic—while both Fire and Lightning can hit high intensities, Lightning is meant to be temporary while Fire is meant to persist. He’d get a rush on all that power and energy all at once (especially while flying/teleporting ahaha) but then he would not be able to handle the following crash. If he had an Outburst, regardless of emotion, he’d be in pain trying to push through it or tap out completely

With Earth, both thrive with endurance, but there’s the obvious difference in fluidity. Kai would feel powerful with Earth, sure, but it would also come off as suffocating. And he, quicker to get emotional than Cole, would never feel like he could get all his emotions out, further frustrating him (which in turn would also probably cause an agonizing outburst)

For Jay, having Fire would probably make him even more jittery, except he wouldn’t have a cap on his energy, so he’d be go-go-go and never stop (and he wouldn’t know how to regulate it, meaning he’d hit a point where he’d need a break eventually but the Fire in him would oppose that). Moreover, if Fire reacts with his feelings of Sadness, then all the stuff he tries to hide behind his jokes and smiles? Yeah that’d all get bumped right up to the surface.

And then, if Jay had Ice he’d feel like he’s been slowed down too much. Always trying to do more but he can’t (similar to Kai with Earth). Inversely, Jay’s tendency to constantly distance himself from his less pleasant emotions would make the Ice in him stronger, so the more he tries to play things off the further he’d push himself towards an Outburst (instead of it being the opposite way with his Lightning)

Cole with Fire would be fascinating, cuz all the things he normally keeps buried would have no cap/filter/limitation anymore, meaning he couldn’t hide how he really feels even if he tries catch him flaming up just trying to talk to Zane or dealing with his dad lol). He’d feel comfortable with the amount of power Fire gives him, just not super strength

Cole with Ice, though—similar to Jay, Cole distances himself from feelings he doesn’t want to feel (or thinks he doesn’t want to), so he too would probably push himself closer to an Outburst without actively trying. But otherwise I’d think Cole would find Ice as a refreshing change of pace; it’s still got some solidity of Earth, so that’s familiar, but he wouldn’t have to be as rigid with it either (he prefers the guarantee of support over the fragility of Ice, but it’s a little nice to let loose)

Same with Zane and Earth—Earth has the same semblance of structure that Ice does, so he can work with that, but he’d struggle with the permanence. He’s committed, but not necessarily stubborn, so having less room for some flexibility would come off as stifling to him. Plus, Earth can either be hot or cold, so Zane would probably hate the inconsistency of temperature

Zane with Lightning—here he can understand the “temporary” principles of Lightning easily enough and use it to his advantage, but with Lightning being so erratic and without consistent form, he’d struggle to manipulate it for himself. And with Lightning, he’d also be less able to hide what he’s feeling—even the slightest grievance or joy would be punctuated with sparks, haha

And now having written all of this out, Lloyd swapping with any of them wouldn’t be nearly as fun given that he’s already able to connect and/or use aspects of their Elements, so he wouldn’t struggle nearly as much—he just might feel limited but not like there’s a gaping hole of something missing either.

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

Omg, i've ben super quiet cuz this monday i got SUPER sick, im talking about fever, vomiting, coughing, etc- NOW THAT IM BETTER, i have to say that part of my way of coping was to imagine some of my faves taking care of me, and since i just love asking you about ganondorf... Could you do a "How would ganondorf take care of their sick SO?" It doesnt have to be all of them, just ur fave gan would do :3

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU WENT-

I am so glad you are doing better hun! Sounds like you had a rough go of it. TxT *strong hug* I do the same thing when Im sickly too! Just daydreaming of being taken care of by my favorites <3

I will be happy to do all of them! If you are curious who my favorites are, its all of them, but I do have a special place for Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf and Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf.

Demise bullied his way back into the asks again I'm sorry I couldnt stop him YOU try telling the original demon king no-

***********************************************************************

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Approach: Wind Waker Ganondorf would be deeply concerned but might struggle with expressing his compassion due to his pride and demeanor. He would try to take control of the situation, often in his own commanding way.

Care:

Commanding Efficiency: He’d immediately summon the best healers and medicinal experts available to tend to his SO.

Intense Focus: He’d be intensely focused on ensuring every possible remedy and treatment is utilized, leaving little to chance.

Pragmatic Comfort: Despite his often stoic demeanor, he’d offer practical comfort, like ensuring the room is at the right temperature and his SO has everything they need.

Stubborn Vigil: He’d likely stay by their side, albeit in a rather stiff manner, often pacing or checking in frequently.

Scene: Ganondorf stands by the bedside, watching as the healers administer treatments. His face is a mask of concern and frustration. "This fever must break soon. Ensure that everything is done to bring their temperature down."

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Approach: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf would be deeply distressed and might find it hard to mask his anxiety. He’d be fiercely protective and would insist on taking an active role in their care, driven by both love and a need to control the situation.

Care:

Intense Focus: He’d want to oversee every aspect of their care, from the medicine to the room environment.

Emotional Turmoil: His usually imposing demeanor would soften considerably, revealing his deep worry and vulnerability.

Protective Measures: He’d likely set up wards or magical barriers around the sickroom to prevent any additional disturbances.

Soothing Presence: While he might struggle to comfort them with words, he’d be there physically, often holding their hand or keeping vigil.

Scene: Ganondorf sits beside the bed, his face lined with concern. "Rest now. I will make sure nothing disturbs you. The healers have been instructed to do whatever it takes."

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Approach: Twilight Princess Ganondorf would approach their illness with a mix of determination and a softer side not often seen. He would be both practical and surprisingly gentle.

Care:

Gentle Attention: He would be attentive to their needs, showing a more nurturing side, ensuring they are comfortable and well taken care of.

Healing Focus: He’d utilize both traditional remedies and any dark magic that could help alleviate their symptoms.

Calm Presence: His usual intimidating presence would be replaced by a calm, reassuring demeanor, as he works to ease their discomfort.

Restful Environment: He’d ensure the room is as soothing as possible, perhaps with soft lighting and calming sounds.

Scene: Ganondorf carefully adjusts the blankets, his gaze soft as he looks at his sick partner. "You should rest. I’ll handle everything. Just focus on getting better."

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Approach: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf would handle their illness with a combination of efficiency and pragmatism, while also showing a genuine concern for their well-being.

Care:

Decisive Actions: He’d quickly implement a plan for their care, coordinating with healers and gathering any necessary supplies.

Strategic Comfort: He would ensure they have everything needed to be comfortable, from the right medications to a properly arranged room.

Occasional Softness: Despite his normally stern demeanor, he’d show occasional glimpses of worry and tenderness.

Organized Vigil: He’d likely keep a detailed log of their symptoms and treatments to monitor their progress.

Scene: Ganondorf paces the room, checking on the various treatments being administered. He stops beside the bed, looking at his partner with a rare, concerned expression. "You will get through this. I’ll make sure of it."

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Approach: Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf would be deeply invested in their recovery, driven by a mix of frustration and worry. His approach would be meticulous and attentive.

Care:

Detailed Care: He would ensure every possible remedy is used, from modern medicines to any ancient or magical treatments.

Intense Focus: His focus would be on their complete recovery, often obsessing over every detail of their care.

Compassionate Commands: While his manner might still be commanding, it would be clear he’s deeply concerned, often issuing orders with a softer edge.

Personal Attention: He’d personally attend to them as much as possible, offering both practical help and emotional support.

Scene: Ganondorf stands at the edge of the bed, his face showing rare vulnerability. "This illness will not defeat you. I will see to it personally that every measure is taken to ensure your recovery."

Demise

Approach: Demise would be highly focused on their well-being, though his approach would be driven by a mix of his intense personality and genuine concern. His manner would be a complex blend of harshness and care.

Care:

Diligent Care: He would seek out the most effective treatments, ensuring that his SO is given the best possible care.

Dominant Protection: While he might be overbearing, his actions would stem from a genuine desire to see them recover.

Dark Magic: He might use his dark powers to aid in their healing or to create a more comfortable environment, though this would be done carefully to avoid further harm.

Unwavering Vigil: He’d stay by their side, often watching over them with an intense, almost intimidating presence.

Scene: Demise stands close by the bed, his expression fierce yet concerned. "You will not succumb to this. I will see to it that you are healed, no matter the cost. Rest now; I will handle everything else."

In each case, their reactions and methods reflect their personalities, with a blend of their characteristic traits and their deep care for their significant other.

[ddlcpoly]

Dokis from most nerdy to lest nerdy

1- Yuri: Apart from being academically good, never having failed a grade and has had a very good to near perfect average. But what makes her the nerdiest is that fact that she so easily obsesses over pieces of media and how she hordes them like a dragon. Movies, TV shows, Music and obviously books take over the grand majority of her life.

2 - MC: Even though he’s an ok student, nothing extraordinary, he (ironically enough) has the second largest book collection out of all them, even if it’s at least 99% manga and light novels. He also is a massive weeb keeping up with the latest anime and heavily enjoying at lot of what the medium has to offer. He doesn’t play as much videogames as you’d think though.

3 - Natsuki: While MC and Yuri are people who are on the constant prowl for new media to consume, Natsuki has a few very important pieces of media that she loves and rereads/rewatches/relistens to constantly. Academically she could be doing better not only because she’s actually pretty smart and has an easy time simplifying ideas, but also her emotional distress and frustrations really affect her grades.

4 - Monika: She has the best grades out of all of them, but not really cuz she enjoys studying that much, but because of a feeling of obligation. Anyways, she does like learning and sharing fun facts with people, because she enjoys knowing things. She does read and watch tv shows as a pretty chill hobby. Although she has a really soft spot for anything romantic and eats it up like it’s candy.

5 - Sayori: She has had a hard time really finding passion for anything and her grades are undoubtedly the worst of all of them. She most of the time just spends her time on social media. Most of the shows she watched to completion were when she was a kid or with MC. Although, she is probably the person that likes music the most and listens to super niche indie singers that just speak to her. She’s also getting into the habit of reading thanks to the club and she’s generally getting better at feeling passionate about things thanks to a combination of therapy meds and her partners.

[hell-drabbles]

If Ra-on's already like this,do you think they'd be able to handle the concept of people not feeling sexual attraction, very little sexual attraction, or just not liking sex? Cuz it seems like sex is the only way they know how to love (just an assumption tho)

Hmm well, yeah they would not handle it all that well.

Initially it's very nice because Ra-on is so very deprived of emotional connection. However Ra-on has an extremely high libido that they let take control of their thought processes, so ultimately they'd fall under the mindset of "sex will come eventually," when in a relationship with someone who's a sex-repulsed ace or is a very low libido person initially. And when they're not getting the sex Ra-on craves, it leads to frustration on Ra-on's part and they go into this spiral of "am I not good enough," and "do they truly love me?" Sex and romantic attraction are basically the same thing in their head, so when one or the other are missing, Ra-on gets distressed. Which is also why Ra-on would not make for a good one-night-stand, because after the fucking, they'd try and keep in contact with said one-night-stand partner out a need for a deeper emotional connection.

Granted, the other person in question should have known what they were getting into and what needs Ra-on has. If they were expecting Ra-on to just, turn off their libido when in a relationship, then that's a whole other issue. It be an interesting toxic dynamic to explore, honestly. Two people who want to make this relationship work but are ultimately too stubborn to compromise.

[malu897]

Having fic Idea kinda inspired by @drownedinlavender fic "Be Nice To Me" (Great fic btw, i get giddy everytime theres an update)

Basecally Cartman is send to an alternative corretional facility where he is treated so bad they break him; when he comes back he holds an assembly in front of the whole school to apologize for everything he has done and later goes to speak to the boys and says they should stop hangin out bcuz their relationships arent healthy, they are all bewildered and Kyle thinks he is planing something and start playing more attention to him.

Now Cartman was acting like a completely diferent person, he starts taking his grades super seriously to the point he LITERALLY cries to retake a test he doesn't do well in the first time; but outside classes he barely talks to anyone and the only time he speaks loud enough for you(Kyle) to hear at a distance is when he is having Discord call during lunch( he eats all alone behind the bleachers).

Later the others discover that Eric has a new Youtube Channel where he is posting piano+singing covers for the most random songs (like the is Im Still Standing right beside Gloomy Sunday) and playing up little stories with his old plushies (some times he posts tutorials of him fixing them too), most of the boys find it weird and funny and think about trolling him but Kyle dissuades them, saying they should all just forget about Cartman, while he himself starts getting obsessed with the videos, trying to find a clue to what Cartman is planing or what happened to him, Kyle gets so distressed he goes back to old habits and tries to break in into Cartman's room at night only to be caugth by Kenny.

Kenny was the only one to bother with trying to reach out to Cartman outside of school, and with little time they started getting even closer than they are before, not just Cartman opening up about what happened to him but Kenny finally finding in him to let out all the frustrations in his life, how he hates how he is forgoten or used by others, How it seems like no-one in his life supports him and he has to keep a brave face to his sister so she doesn't feel the same, How he cant even get high anymore cuz all he gets are bad trips. And Cartman listen, without saying anything, just letting Kenny speak, and they hug and after that they start hangin out a lot, with Cartman some times going to Kenny's job to bring him something to eat( he been trying to get back at cooking and Kenny is a great 'test subject') and even helping a little during closing time. They are having a lot of sleepovers, one of witch is interupted by Kyle climbing on the window, with Kenny catching him before he wakes Eric up.

Kenny talks to Kyle outside, says that Cartman is going through a lot and even himself doesn't got all the story yet, and that he can try taking Eric into talking to Kyle again but that Kyle should also respect Cartman's space.

So far this is where i stop my pondering, i also thought up a scene where Cartman's "Doctor" from the facility comes to his house to "check up" basecally scare him into keeping being "good" regressin his progress from opening up to his friends, but Kenny & Kyle to the rescue! And in the end they report the "doctor" and burn the facility down, usually i dont think up my stories to have an ending so i forced my self to think one for this just to get the habit to it

[puppersfluid8xd]

I realized that I haven’t posted abt this yet therefore u wouldn’t know but

I 100,000% believe that near is an autistic agere

he’s like 17 when he’s taking down Kira I believe and this guy is playing w toys and making noises like “vrrrrooom!” while he plays

Although yes I do believe part of the toys were a visual representation for him, us, and the ppl around him, I also think that he truly did enjoy playing w his toys outside of that. and it would make sense! Near is sumone who’s constantly had to be mature and responsible, his whole life is and was “being the next L”, he basically never got that much of a childhood cuz of it.

I think most of his team knows, especially those whose been around for a while (I.e. anthony, halle, and gevanni) and he most likely has a “play room” in his offices and/or bases. I think he probably only uses the play room during and after he’s having a meltdown or sensory overload and stays there until he calms down, but most of the time if he’s having other issues he’ll go there too, I don’t think he goes there “just bc he wants to play” yk? The room is probably all neutrals like the rest of his lil gear bc he finds colors overstimulating or distracting and therefore distressing, and I think he prefers wooden toys the most. I’m assuming he regresses from abt 5 to maybe 12 ish?? It’s a very big age range and he prefers the “older” ages. I think he does get frustrated tho abt being infantalized obviously as an autistic person, so his team has gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s lil and when he’s not.

He’s been doing it since at least the first time we saw him, if not 11-12 or earlier. He told mello at sum point and mello didn’t rlly like it at first, but after seeing how much it helped him he became way more open to it and occasionally helped out regressed near. Matt didn’t get it at first either and would say lil things abt it, but mello sat him down and talked to him, and after a while he became even more caring n helpful around regressed near than mello was (which absolutely got on mellos nerves and Sumtimes Matt was doing it on purpose lol)

I’m sure other ppl have made other and better posts, but I haven’t thought to look around at/for them bc I figured there wasn’t many other agere death note fans and/or ppl who headcanon near as an agere until recent

ANYWAYS

we luv ageres and lil near and it also makes me very happy as a agere to see a character I relate to especially abt this <33

HAVE A GUD DAYS BABIES ILY BYEEE <33

(side note I have Deja vu typing this out?? N idk y??)

[ceeroosa]

i hate to be this guy

but i will, cuz i'm seeing it a lot a lot a lot lately:

i am begging people who have poor self-esteem and are extremely sensitive to external judgements (like, say, losing your absolute shit cuz someone made a mildly shitty comment in their public bookmark of your fic)

to work on that.

no, i'm not saying it was cool for them to say something mean about you in a public space where you could see it. i'm saying it's an extremely normal thing that you can't control, and you will be happier if you figure out how to focus on handling those things over trying to control other people

sure, make the PSA's reminding people that ficwriters have feelings too and demand that people stop making negative comments in public bookmarks because you're not wrong - it is a mean thing to do.

but it is also normal.

people talk about you. sometimes it's where you can see or hear it, and often it is "behind your back."

you cannot shame, demand, plead or tantrum your way out of the fact that people talk.

people talk about everything, and often in unfavourable terms. i have known people in my life who have torn themselves apart emotionally, have created such an obscene amount of stress in their lives, over the things people have or may be saying about them to other people.

"it's WRONG" they said

"let them be wrong" I said

because at some point you have to accept the way people can be. people can be cruel as much as they can be kind. they can be smart and thoughtful and insensitive and daft.

you, my little lovely darling, cannot control that and every attempt you make to try (and yes, I'm sorry, but the aforementioned PSA's absolutely count as an attempt to control)

the more stress and pain - disappointment, shame, righteousness, violation because i set a boundary why did they do the thing i asked them not to do why doesn't anyone ever respect me - you bring on yourself.

i don't want you to hurt yourself, i don't want you to suffer more than you have to. (unless you wanted to, i guess.) i don't want the things you enjoy and feel passion for to be tainted and ruined by other people.

i wasn't born thinking this way. i also went through stages (still do! often! recently!) of being frustrated that people can just go about life doing things wrong and being cruel and being stupid and i've experienced the way just thinking in that way increases my internal distress, it increases feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, of feeling like things happen to me instead of being an active participant in life.

the following skills have helped me greatly in managing these feelings:

radical acceptance: practicing accepting the unacceptable, letting it happen without fighting or bargaining or resisting, relinquishing all illusions of control over this, that, or the other thing while recognizing that the only thing we do have control over in this life is how we respond - and carefully choosing how to respond after allowing the reaction to pass.

distress tolerance: radical acceptance can be under the umbrella of distress tolerance, but this is basically anything that helps ease the sensations of a distressing experience; things that are comforting and soothing, distraction, and, yes, even avoidance can be a useful tactic in the right situation.

self-assurance: this one's pretty tough. you don't have to love yourself necessarily, but you do have to respect yourself because there will be moments in your life where it feels like nobody respects you and if you can't even retreat into the sureness of your Self...well, it's gonna be hard. humans are social creatures and reliance on others is not weakness, it is nature. however, we've constructed a society that does not serve us and hyper-individualism leaves people alone. regardless of whether or not it is fair or OK, we have to accept that possibility - and figure out how to be our own champions so when those moments happen, we can survive it by saying:

"I know who I am. I know that I am (a good writer, a kind person, capable, sexy, whatever). I do not need anyone to validate my identity as (a good writer, sexy, kind, etc) because I know that my actions align with my values as (a good writer, a kind person, a capable person). Even if someone else's idea of what is (a good writer, a kind person, sexy) does not align with mine, and they invalidate my identity based on their values, I still know who I am because of my values and actions."

or something of that nature.

AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT NEED EXTERNAL VALIDATION OR THAT YOU SHOULDN'T SEEK IT OUT! OR THAT YOU CAN ONLY RELY ON OR TRUST YOURSELF or anything else annoying and lone-wolf-y like that.

you deserve engagement - comments, likes, reblogs, general squee-ing over your work, being told that you are lovely and sexy and powerful - we all do!

give and receive as much validation as you can. pay it forward. but in those inevitable moments of lowness, of radio silence, of questioning if you really are who you think you are:

it pays to have your own back, to be able to focus on the steadiness of your feet and who you are rather than what other people have done, are doing, or refuse to do.

[cozymochi]

gonna dig up a toxic habit to kinda talk about a post i woke up to see on my dash that has me kinda side eyeing for a sec. And i don’t rly appreciate how the OP of said post unintentionally frames the artists as being in the wrong for wanting to get rid of their work because “b-but but think abt how others feel ☹️☹️ what about them i promise someone else likes it” “how are u not distressed etc etc” “Thats ur [insert simile here] how could u do that dont these artists think about how i feel”

homie, it’s not like artists dont think about that but maybe JUST MAYBE i value how I feel about my past work more now that actually exist than the hypothetical feelings of someone I don’t even know. Call me freaking callous I guess but gaaahhh something about the wording got me so miffed at 7 am. Im solely only speaking for myself cuz it struck a nerve. And that nerve has been strongly debating wiping certain stuff away for a while.

Like yeah, sure, i’ve also been in the position as the consumer who gets bummed if an OP purges their stuff but it happens. If i find something new only to learn OP is gone it happens!! Im bummed but it hAPPENS. If me an artist wants my stuff gone be it for some personal matter, lack of interest, or some such other thing then I shouldn’t have be seen as some awful unfeeling person because of that. It’s not like I know why they the hypothetical artist got rid of their stuff, and as much as I’d like to know why it’s not my business to know. And it’s the same vice versa. Or hey if i wanna be as melodramatic as OP i shouldn’t even call myself a person then, i’m just a content machine and god forbid the machine get sentience. I see this all the time from people even IF an artist announces they’re gonna purge their stuff and it’s so. Frustrating. It’s stressful enough posting so imagine the pressure of feeling like i HAVE to keep all of my work up regardless of how i feel about it personally because some subset of hypothetical people i dont know who MIGHT see it in the future would be upset if i did it.

Why do OTHER people have to dictate whether or not I can remove my work? Why do i have to consider every freaking hypothetical in the world first before my own feelings at present that are very very real. Even if my feelings shift somewhat purging isn’t exactly a light decision and i dont imagine it is for other folk like me.

As soon as something is posted that thing is already forever out of my control, and if me getting rid of art i no longer want strongly attached to me gives me some level of control back then i’m gonna take it. As futile as it is in the grand scheme.

To reiterate what i said first, im SURE this message was not intended by the OP (obviously it speaks mostly to a specific group of consumers) and if i can hazard a guess— probably written in a state of emotional stress but holy shit. The fact sooo many people are just…in silent agreement just speaks volumes to me

you can’t win anywhere, huh

[bombontheevilcat]

My Brain Soup Accidentally Turned Short Analysis on Naoto (and Gender Essentalism)

CW: P4 discourse; Naoto gender, mentions of gender essentialism

been thinking about it and the problem with Naoto's writing in P4 really isn't about whether or not they are trans in actuality (will use gender neutral pronouns here cuz it's skewy) but the fact that their character arc of "accepting the truth" conflates their desire to be recognized in a male dominated field despite being a young teenage woman/afab person with gender essentialist thinking in their declaration (social link) and "acceptance" (shadow) of the fact that they are a women.

The Shadows in p4 are vague beings but can be thought of as the parts a person cannot accept of themself morphed into a sort of deluded or extremist form. Take Chie and Yukiko's shadows for example. Yukiko's is a helpless damsel in distress who needs the help of someone else, a prince, to take her away form the "castle imprisoning" her while not wanting to do anything herself. Chie's is deeply jealous, exploiting and controlling her friends to "prop herself up" and feel good about herself. They aren't really like the person at all but represent bottled-up parts of their self, Chie IS jealous of Yukiko's ease in performing traditional femininity and does feel a sense of fulfillment in Yukiko's dependency on her. Yukiko is frustrated with what she feels is a lack of independency and insecure about reclaiming that and taking action herself. It's when they accept these aspect of their own self that they are rewarded with their true self, their persona (this "true" self also isn't stable but changes when the characters grow and develop as seen in their social link).

When looking at Naoto's Shadow there are two main characteristics to it. It's incredibly childish, both tonally and in its spite for not being seen and thus desires to hurry and become a "big boy" to be acknowledge. It also has a compulsion with Naoto's gender/sex (they use "sex" in english and 性別/seibetsu in Japanese in the game's text but today we would use more distinct language for an English equivalent) wanting to alter Naoto's body to that of a male after revealing their AGAB, mentioning how they'd admire strong and cool men in their detective fiction and tried to be them despite the truth of them just being a child and how manly and cool sounding Naoto's name is despite the truth of never being able to cross "the barrier between the sexes" and can never be an ideal man because they aren't one. The Shadow finally reveals that they are going to alter Naoto's body to "not suffer anymore" (guys, free top surgery just dropped, check out your tv on a rainy night and reach into it). A battle ensues and it ends with Naoto accepting their shadow. Naoto's conclusion is that they shouldn't strive to become an adult or a man (mentions both in JP but only man in EN probably because "term for adult and male" = man) but to accept themself for who they really are, declared a woman.

This acceptance of themself is later expanded on in their social link. The larger part of the social link is really about Naoto finding their inner child again but throughout the link there are moments where you can "affirm" Naoto's "womanhood" through dialogue options. The initial link you can choose "I gotta help. you're a girl", albeit Naoto doesn't take well to that but then you have "I'm glad you're a girl" which is a romance flag and later on you can choose to "Protect Naoto" which is the final romance flag to get to date them. There is also the heteronormative aspect to Naoto's romance route where you have to push them into "traditional feminine roles" in terms of gender dynamics. However outside of the romance these choices are inconsequential but being that the romance options are still "positive" choices I think it somewhat reveals how the writers sort of processed the idea behind Naoto's gender/sex (ofc there is also the wish fulfillment for the player's sake). It's in rank 9 where Naoto brings up their gender identity. To them putting the expectation that they have to be an adult or a man on themself was running away from the truth and that is that they are a woman and a detective.

To me the gender essentialist thinking in Naoto's affirmation in womanhood comes down to two things, conflating gender/sex (benefit of a doubt; signs of the time) but also conflating the idea of a "child forcing themselves to be an adult", wanting to have adult recognition and a "woman forcing themselves to be a man" due to external pressure. The way the word "truth" is used in Naoto's case is about something essential or fundamental to their self that Naoto rejects. Naoto is a kid, only 15 years old, who tries to act "grown-up" and fit in as a child prodigy, they are not an adult and thus can only try to imitate one. This is very much in line with any concept of adulthood and age so it's nothing controversial. But the game treats the rigid binary idea of "a child cannot be an adult" the same as that of "a woman cannot be a man".

There is never any thought about Naoto's gender other than the fact that it is their AGAB, their "sex". When Naoto accepts themselves it's treated as an intrinsic quality once the "truth" is revealed which shows a gender essentialist mindset. As is now I believe Naoto's storyline is on a messy line of trans-coding, gender essentalism and ignorant writing but with relevant themes (both in terms of gender identity and workplace sexism) and that is what makes it a very controversial and discourse-inducing topic.

Though outside of Naoto's gender I actually really enjoy their arc. I think that Naoto's struggle with their inner child, having been forced to sort of lock away their "childishness"; their passions, quirks and likes, is genuinely compelling. I liked how the social link expanded on that and how we got to learn about these smaller details they had suppressed from their childhood. Also very sweet how grampy shirogane decides to put up this mystery for Naoto to solve, to help them get in touch with their inner child again and smile and be happy. It's just very precious and gave me the big feels :tm:. I also like their contributions in the main story (despite my having grievances with the "mystery" aspect of it) and the dynamic they have with the cast (when the game isn't being that weird anime taste of misogyny, y'kno the type). They're allowed to be a teenager and have fun but they still carry a lot of the mysteries of the plot which compliments their arc well.