#just can't put it into better words :///
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Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*
#rottmnt#I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it...#No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay#I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly#but#you see#It's CAS#cass fanart tag#and it is commission#I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and#think “Can I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??” I“M SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING#ALL MY LIFE#okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it#You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it#*hides*
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I tried to give myself a little break from writing because I thought that's what I needed, but turns out the writing is load-bearing at this point. what I really needed was a break from writing stuff that I ever intend to polish up and show anyone. tapping out random comfort daydreams full of square brackets and 0 context is vitally necessary in fact
#talking#a while ago i was telling my therapist how i just can't do any kind of journaling even though i know it'd be good for me#and they were like hm but you've told me you feel like you understand yourself and what you're feeling better after you write fiction#so maybe that's your version of journaling#and I'm still very !! about this#I'm also mulling over a bunch of stuff idk how to put into words yet about like#the idea that writing should always be about Improvement#and that it's somehow a failure to have and start a bunch of ideas you never actually do anything with#vs that thing of like. creating as just a thing people do. like how birds sing#i have no coherent conclusions but the thoughts are sloshing around in my head like a washing machine you know
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im so sick of reading ooc dabihawks fics make them try and kill each other fr i have a GUN
#always written as lovesick morons. i can handle it better for dabi ironically like he is an emotional little asshole#i can see him obsessing over someone and accidentally falling in cringe gay love about it#but it can't be done in a way where he is anything but the specific brand of pathetic i have in myhead#like ooo make him insecure do u know how juicy it is that touya 'dont ever put me in second place or i'll set us both on fire' todoroki#is shipped with takami 'i am literally always gonna pick my job over you lol' keigo. and yet NO ONE UTILISES ITTTTTT#INCOMPETENT! that's the word im looking for omg. you can make him emotional and pathetic but do NAWT make him incompetent in front of ME#and hawks.. deep breath wtf is his fanon characterisation.... you made him a himbo....#like i complain about dabi characterisation bc that's my best friend and only i understand him but in general fanon is actually fine#BUT HAWKS???? WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO THAT MAN 😭#he needs to be an asshole im afraid. i loveeeeeeeeeeeee dabihawks fics where dabi is the villain for objective shit like murder and crime#but hawks is the one who is just so so much worse from a reader's pov like he needs to be kinda heartless#will always prioritise his duty over himself and certainly over any lover. dabi is just his target at the end of the day#and yeah obvs he needs to love him back AT SOME POINT im not a masochist im a sucker for the unrealistically fluffy ending#but they need to suffer for that shit!!!! and hawks has to betray dabi at least 4 times#and for fuck sake MAKE THEM TRY AND KILL EACH OTHER FR!!! I HAVE A GUN!!#stop depolluting my toxic yaoi. um. pretty baby. dont suck the rot right out of their bloodstream?#dabihawks#mha#this coming from ur local fujo who has beaten the dabihawks ao3 tag for all its worth. can anyone help me… a rec… pls….
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A–Aventio TGCF idea?? Wherein Civil God Veritas Ratio meets the infamous Ghost King Aventurine during his first mission cuz cuz like— The "live for me" paralels?!? The one who has all the luck partner as well?!? The villain who was actually not the Villain this whole time!?!? The loving humanity a little too much it causes their downfall !?!?!?
Rant AU in the tags proceed with caution
#Okay to put it into better words:#Veritas having once being a prince wanted to give everyone the prosperity of knowledge and became a civil god in the pursuit of it.#Sadly this backfires in people using that knowledge for their own greed and creating civil wars within it as well as unleashing far more#Destruction upon the land. And the other gods didn't help Veritas in stopping that bc see that's what happens when people overshare info!!#So the aftermath is just pure chaos plus banishment from being a civil god and thrown as this god of war and plague.#800 years passes and he is seen to just still be doing the same things but I a simple term. Teaching people to read and count.#Often times taking up mission and doing research on new pathogens to help cure the sick that can't afford and somehow during a reading#Lecture he gets ascended back to godhood and everyone is like ??? And even he is like ???#Well he doesn't care much about it and just continues to do what he's always done. Except that once in a while he has to take a detour#Mission to deal with ghosts and other malignant spirits. And upon one of those recurrences he finds himself aquaintanced with#The infamous Ghost King Aventurine. Who is mostly feared in heaven due to having beaten the strongest and wisest at their own games. Even#When the odds where fully against him.#As for Aventurine.#His life was harsh but as the prince had given a lot to the people#Not just education but also free them of diseases and sickness. One of which had struck his sister. He liked the prince and wanted to#Follow in giving and protecting the prosperity of the former kingdom. But the good things did not last and his family was struck in between#The many wars that took place. No matter how much refuge Kakavasha and his sister sought no place was ever#Safe enough for them.#He watched the entire world go up in flames yet somehow he could hate the prince-god for it. But rather the people who had started to#Create weapons in his name. The rest of his years he spent it as a warrior slave and then when death reached him he couldn't even go to#The afterlife since he still held so much vigor and wanted revenge to all the people who had turned his land into ashes and his family#Into bones. That is why he became a mourning ghost.#(I didn't want the kakavasha story to be so centered on ratio like it is in tgcf. Because I think it will be fun for the two of them to#Not recognize each other at first after 800 years and then when they do. Rather when aven does he's full on: oh shit it's the cute prince—#As for who was the cause of the upheaval in the kingdom and the maker of the weapons. Idk I was debating there being more than just one#Antagonist to have pulled their strings in verita's kingdom as well as be the reason Aven's sister died. So he's more revenge seeking for t#And the genius society as civil gods just spoke to me it for so perfectly. Ling wen as Ruan mei? Yeah exactly.#ratiorine#Aventio#Dr ratio
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me when I realize how willing Alicent was to die for her son (she stood between him and a dragon. what was she meant to do? she could do nothing against a dragon. even if she shielded him from the flames, it wouldn't be enough to save him. she stood there, knowing if Rhaenys was set out to kill her son she would go with him. she stood there accepting that if her son died she would go with him. she would protect her baby with her last breath. she would go out holding his hand, head held high, bathed in fire because there was nothing she wouldn't do for her children):
#every time I think about them I cry#that whole episode is worth crying over#the whole scene was beautiful and tragic and heartbreaking#but the love she has for her son in that moment is just....#there are no words#she was always less fond of dragons#bordering a fear of them#but that didnt stop her#she didnt even hesitate#better yet she ran to him#putting him behind her snd taking hold of his hand#she faced off to Meleys#that takes gaul#my women#she was Mother#mother was mothering#in such a tragic way#and I can't handle it#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#queen alicent#pro team green#hotd#house of the dragon#second post on this scene cause I need everyone to know how much it means to me
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I wanted to put these all together so I can look at them when I get sad. So my apologies for the disservice of not replying individually. For folks that missed it these wonderful people are referencing somebody who wanted to remind me that my writing isn't the strongest nor is my art and that I should stick with my attempts to be funny (which you know, fair) I haven't gotten this many asks (or replies to the initial one) about the same topic since MELE came out
Ironically you guys know I'm not good with words, the best I can think of is just to say thank you. Your encouragement and love means the world to me
#that was the only mean anon i've gotten in a super long time so i can't be too mad i guess and they had a point im a little annoying#rememeber#asks for bee#thoughts from the peanut gallery#sadie my oldest mutual thank you thank you so much#and Dot you've stayed with me even though i'm not focusing on ME rn im putting you through the ringger thank you#everyone thank you#thank you so so much#i wish i had better words#i woke up and thought somethign had happened happened when i saw my notifications#but no it was just acts of love
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I think of so many stupid shenanigans between Wriothesley and his daughters in the Addison Lee verse. They tell Wriothesley crazy shit all the time, their daddy-daughter secrets, and it drives Neuvillette nuts that Wriothesley won't snitch.
Sigewinne, whispering into his ear: Today at school I punched a boy because he was being mean. I waited until it was recess, and made sure that no one was watching, and I punched him. Everyone knows he is a liar, so noooo one believed him when he cried about it. And Sigewinne is aaaalways a superstar so Mr Vautrin didn't suspect a thing !
Wriothesley, mildly concerned: Uh huh.
Sigewinne: Papa would say Sigewinne has to be nice to everyone, but, Sigewinne thinks bullies need to get punched sometimes, b'cos, b'cos otherwise, they think everyone is just gonna let them be mean
Wriothesley: Y'know what. That's fair
#They tend to play with him more than Neuvillette because he can match their energies#but Neuvillette usually is who they'd run to when they#need calmness and comfort#at night. when they're all asleep. Neuv would pin his husband down and be like. Tell me. Tell me the secrets.#and Wriothesley is like Noooooooo snitches get stitches Neuv#obviously if it's serious he'd let him know. but. if Carole comes up to him and is like daddy I secretly put a roach in Mr Vautrin's lunch#he'd be like. Did he think it was yummy?#and Carole is like aheeheeehee noooo don't be silly !! It was a prank and the roach was plastic so he can't eat it anyway#ingital#also vautrin teaches all 3 of their kids#for like. first grade#so he's basically a family friend at this point#I also have this stupid#scene in my head. the Swear Jar. I imagine like swear words in the Wriollette household is a hotly debated topic. because Daddy say it#aaaaaall the time. And Wriothesley doesn't believe in banning words. He explains it to the kids when they ask but he's like. You can be#just as hurtful. if not more. with words that are not considered 'bad'. You can still be mean without saying fuck. The point is to be nice#and daddy is nice isn't he. even if he says bad words sometimes.#but neuvillette is like No. No Bad Words. It is considered socially inappropriate for your age group. When you are older#you can decide if you want to use them. however. there are some rules in the classroom and I do not want you girls to get into trouble.#if you get into the habit of cursing like your dad. it'd be hard to keep away from them when you are in class. and bad words frighten papa#so. I ask that you ladies do not use them.#but like I don't think. they'd Punish the kids. the swear jar isn't even like. a punishment. it is a swear tax. every time you say bad word#you have to pay the swear tax. and whatever's in the jar gets taken out for ice cream or whatever to make papa feel better#[ this is how wriothesley explain it ]#and it leads to stuff like. The girls being considerate to Neuvillette firstly (he isn't actually all that bothered he's more scared#of the social repercussions for the girls. But they think he's Scared Of All Bad Words)#so they'd be like. papa cover your ears. I am going to say frightening words. FUCK YOU TIMMY. and then they pay their swear tax#and when Wriothesley curse in front of Neuvillette. the girls are like stop it. you will frighten papa. pay the swear tax NOW#we must acquire the icecream for papa. lest he gets so frightened he runs away forever. and wriothesley is like oh shit yeah that'd be bad#and theyre like DADDY. STOP IT
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The Means to Make an Image
#digital art#digital illustration#illustration#art#my art#ocs#my ocs#cw eyestrain#cw suggestive#cw manipulation#cw abuse#? I guess? it's all thematic but. better to be safe than sorry I guess. this is after 24 hours and peer review#you ever just have something that spawns fully formed and you can't really put it to words. yea#oc: helvia#oc: aegis#oc: Vanessa#I hope the misery is adequately communicated 👍#for the bug nerds in the audience (me) their outfits are based on early life stages of the bugs they're based on :)#the caterpillar for the peacock butterfly and the first instar nymph for helvia respectively!!#click for higher quality and all that jazz. et cetera#(tossing it out into the void) please be normal please be normal please be normal pl
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The hair is hairing✨
#interview with the vampire#if evil why pretty#iwtv spoilers#(not really)#but#spoilers in tags#so. one thing I'm worried that's happening is that the show is trying to make it seem like lestat was sooo much better#(which I don't really think is happening but I can see how easy it would be to go in that direction)#(unfortunately Louis just seems to be a toxicity magnet 💀)#I did like how Armand didn't tell louis that lestat loves him#he DOES NOT need to hear that#gotta move on man#I feel like after every episode I'm like 'man 🐴'#I have more thoughts but I can't put them into words#at least not right now#assad zaman#the vampire armand
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I have developed a new litmus test for Media Literacy and People I Wanna Hang With
Do they hate Skylar White of Breaking Bad for being dramatic and unreasonable
Do they think Arlecchino from Genshin Impact is an abusive parent
Do they think Silco from Arcane made Zaun worse
Answering yes to any of these questions results in immediate disqualification for having respectable opinions. To me.
#daily life with mercy#I have arguments for all three of them adslfj#and I feel strongly enough about all three#and generally speaking!#disagreeing on these very sensitive topics IS a good indicator of whether we can have constructive conversation#Note the wording#It's not about “do you think Skylar is annoying”#...answering yes to that still puts you on my squinty eye list but it's more forgivable#you can think someone is annoying while still acknowledging they are in a lot of pain#“Abusive” is a very particular term highlighting a pattern of behavior#You do better for those kids than Arlecchino did while challenging the system you grew up in lmao#we can have a civil discussion about good vs bad parenting#but that's not abuse. That's a bad situation#and thinking Silco made Zaun worse is just. Not having eyes. Or a functioning brain#sorry man. It was an EVEN WORSE shitshow before he showed up and took over#we can have a civil discussion over whether his end justified his means but you can't deny that he improved the gang wars and pollution#as evident by: EVERYTHING GETTING WORSE WITH HIS DEATH
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ugh I reallllyyyyy didn’t want to get in on this but like
The assumption that all atheists are people who’ve “never touched a religious text in their life” basically says to me you have a specific view of atheists and have probably not known many.
Most of them grew up IN the system and DO know the text and THAT’S why they walk away.
If you’re gonna make a whole post on ppl not using nuance with CR stuff right now the least you can do is use nuance yourself and not paint an entire group of people with a brush that TV taught you, or a bunch of white men into power *cough* Dawkins *cough* coopted a movement in a society where to not believe in god is synonymous with being immoral.
So just keep in mind, the representation of people without faith that you see on TV or twitter isn’t the majority and 9 times out of 10 isn’t correct at all.
thanks ^_^
#I learned a new word the other day#apatheism or something#b/c there isn't a word for what I am#but like I know that people who don't know what I am will paint me with the nuance-less brush of#oh you're atheist or whatever#but yeah#maybe also pick up on the nuance that Matt's putting down#that not all the Prime deities are the saammmme#can't paint them all with a brush too#just funny that so many people saying I want to be free to not worship anything rn brings so much ridicule#I'm sad ppl are taking a really fascinating complicated take on gods and such is being turned into this stupid fight#just BREATHE please#yes I'm sub-blogging a little b/c I don't want to get into it#I just want ppl to keep in mind that some people out there are ppl too#sorry I don't mean to go off but it's a sensitive point for me#something I never talk about b/c of opinions like that out there#can't wait to see my follower count drop b/c this sorta thing always does T_T#I just wanna be me and make the world a better place isn't that enough#Tria rants
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You're a braver man than I am yet a coward just the same;
Oh, tell me, when the curtain falls, which one of us they'll blame?
Oh yes, I gave the order; oh yes, the blood is on my hands,
But you, who would refuse me, will be on that witness stand:
Mark my words, my bloody boy, you might have stood aside-
You stood aside and lifted not one finger to save their sorry hides.
It's not enough to drop the knife; you must also wield the shield;
Stand yourself between I and them, and then refuse to yield.
'Twas I who gave the order, yes; 'tis I who'll lose my head,
But you the one who stood and watched as the streets turned crimson red.
Don't play innocent, my boy; you always knew the stakes;
Don't think that merely standing by will be enough to earn escape.
It's do or die, so don't you try to wriggle out of this;
This time you have but two choices to pick out from the list.
There is no middle road. There is no merely standing back.
Either they'll believe that you were with me, or you'll defend from my attack.
#poetry#poem#my writing#writing#spilled words#ramblebrambleamble#poeticstories#spilled poetry#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#i am so goddamn sick of the news. there's a lot of nuance in the world but sometimes you have to pick. one or the other. no you can't choos#not to pick; if you choose not to pick then by default you are on the side of the worst option because you have failed to choose the option#that would have prevented it. stop being so fucking precious#it's not enough to drop the knife (not pick the bad option) you must also wield the shield (choose the better option#or the lesser of the two evils if that's how you want to put it.) by the wyde you people piss me off#if you do not wield the shield you will be obligated to explain to scribes of history why you just stood and watched while everything burne
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i would call my dad to apologise, but knowing him it would just hurt him unnecessarily to be reminded of that because he's not really good with bluntness which is what caused this whole thing and the other issue is that i know i will impulsively act like this many times in the future, so i guess the best thing i can do is continue to be as kind to him as i can be
#crying as i'm typing this :/#idk nino has every reason to act that way towards his dad but i literally had/have none so seeing that behaviour last night in that episode#displayed so plainly really made me hate myself. and my dad is the very opposite of donato my dad is actually the most like enzo#he's infinitely kind and caring but he's better with numbers than words and i always twist whatever he says to something#he absolutely didn't mean and sometimes i even do it knowingly. i know he didn't mean it but#when i get mean i don't have a pause button i just let it all out#and my mom is like that too so we don't really hurt each other when we do that#but my dad and my sister take this kind of thing super personally. and they just stay quiet about it while you're being a monster#so i don't really know. i've been thinking about this a lot this entire semester i just don't want him to get sick again#but then again i can't shake off the feeling that he's interpreting me being less sharp as pity#he's okay btw but the doctor wasn't sure about something a month ago so idk...#this year has been. terrible. all three of them back home aren't having a good time at all#and i literally process all of that as my own problems#needed to put this somewhere just ignore it#letters from stephanie*
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I've seen a few people talk about how much smoother things would have gone for the cast if they had A Mature Conversation about things, but like. they're teenagers. Not only that, they're all gifted kid teenagers who also have Issues (except Hajime who only has the Issues). How capable do you think they are of going 'alright now boys we need to talk about your misogyny' or somesuch
#I think a part of what COULD be the tragedy of it all is on fact that they're teenagers with even less#-of a standard for what's normal than regular teenagers.#16 year old kids seeing another 16 year old kid who clearly has a history of abuse but they're like#Damn that sucks... Uh... Should I tell a teacher or#Oh right wait killing game island. Welp.#Them as adults post game looking back like god DAMN if I could go back in time and respond better#But yknow no time like the present#The fact that people like heard a single word out of Mikans mouth and did not think to intervene says sth-#-about the school they went to methinks.#Anyway. This has been a Me Talking#Ps not saying teenagers aren't capable of being good people#But being in that situation on top of all their backstory baggage I can't blame them for putting certain things on the backburner#WAIT ALSO ALSO. Have YOU ever tried to talk to a mean teenager. Jesus christ#They do not take reason trying to argue just makes them stronger.
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(source)
#he is just sitting there creating shapes#being the shapes#the shape cryptid#don't mind me he is just so shapes i can't put it to words better#sleep token#sleep token iv#iv sleep token#ii sleep token#sleep token ii#vessel iv#vessel ii#iv#ii#sleep token band#sleeptoken
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Called the self-sacrifice. Feel proud of that.
Gonna sit on this ending for a bit longer because there was some very religious imagery in ep. 8 with Agatha that I caught.
....
Also don't mind me bring Nicky back for Finding Family stuff BECAUSE I CAN.
#musings#bandit liveblogs agatha#agatha all along#agatha spoilers#the pacing in the eighth episode and parts of the ninth felt rushed#the nicky stuff was fanTAStic#but the fight with rio and the last trial felt differently paced than the rest of the series up to that point#and billy trying to banish agatha also felt a bit rushed#and sometimes with commercials it felt like it jumped from one place to the next#when i expected it to linger somewhere#putting on the shoes and then commercial and then bam they're somewhere else#it felt...choppy is maybe a better way to put it#the scene changes in these last two episodes felt choppy#and agatha calls rio her love but we have no previous anything in those fifty years as a basis for it#and the idea that maybe agatha can't control her powers felt well established#and then that also was a fake fluke and actually she can now?#i'm...conflicted#the nicky stuff was great#but a lot of the rest of it felt#....#choppy#that's the best word i have for it#it felt choppy#...and kind of how i write endings if i'm honest because#there's a good chunk of#wanda america fic#in part five that probably feels A LOT like this#and when i clearly need to end a scene and just don't transition#that's it - there aren't transitions#that's why it feels choppy
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