#just also seeing someone spontaneously & organically being so Like That live & in person; that like truly within one minute Recognition

[yew-yew]

More Stardew valley au? 👉👈 (Could be art or rambles but I am INSANE about this concept and would love to hear/see more)

sure! here's a little bit, and both art and my verbal nonsense ahahah

little sorry for the anatomical mistakes, but it was drawn like... in summer and i'm just too lazy to change something now

speaking of art, law collects stones. that says it all. (this is a bit of a self-projection, but i have my whole house in stardew in chests full of beautiful stones-)

now let's move on to the rest, and i hope you don't mind that it would be just a pile of thoughts

• ahem, from what i have is that instead of an archaeologist (i don't remember the names of characters very well, especially from stardew), we have Robin. it's logical, isn't it ahaha? Law, helps in the hospital, because this is the only way and nothing else! the saloon keeps a Makino, and wow, it's probably a place where you can really eat, so i think Sanji works here in the kitchen. and forgive me, i can't help but add stupid foster parents to au, so Zeff is here too. i really liked someone's fan idea that the Penguin is the cook of heart crew, so he probably does something like moonlighting there?

• Franky and Ikkaku (omg this gorgeous woman) both are something like a carpenter and a blacksmith, although i think Franky is more of a blacksmith?? anyway!!! had idea that Shachi was moonlighting for them??? Maybe???

• Usopp works in Pierre's store, and i think this is not only a store mainly garden, but literally a place where you can buy almost everything? it sounded funny, so why not. Usopp sells some of his little things too!! stupid little fireworks i think are also among them? shop literally everything, wonderful

• i removed the fisherman and his shop (i sorry??), as a result, Nami lives somewhere on the beach, she is their personal meteorologist and the most accurate weather guide, no TV forecast will be as accurate as she is!!!

• ASL trio is a personal periodic spontaneous catastrophe of the whole town. in short, Ace is an eternal visitor to the mine (although many of them are like that ... but he is especially ...) who brings stone mining things. And monster stuff? Luffy for some reason became an absolute fisherman, idk why, but I liked it, huh. Sabo helps Robin i think? Also Luffy and Sabo guys who basically bring Robin different collecting things (Ace does not understand they collecting thing : (( ) all three of them bring Robin some artifacts or minerals. Sabo really interested in discussing all this with Robin, as well as books and the history of all sorts of artifacts and so on?? i had idea about Law in this "nerd" club. Ace... is not interested in these "nerd" clubs and just brings them everything he finds in the mine. Luffy brings Robin something that sometimes comes across on a fishing trip (i like the thing with chests in the stardew itself so much)

• there are also Mihawk, Zoro and Perona who live in a winery/vineyards outside the city. Gothic family is my undisputed love

• something about Bepo: i remember that somewhere at the beginning of the game at some point an animal comes to our farm, which we are offered to keep for ourselves. ahah, i can't choose between being a polar bear(lmao, it’s fun) or a samoyed dog, but in any case, i think he's just like in stardew....came and its just....adopted too

separate huge thanks for the help with the ideas of my beautiful lady @liquidsao

and for the help with the organization of my thoughts to this wonderful person @cal-cium-the-nerd

[darling-i-read-it]

Survivor's Guilt

Chris Redfield x fem!reader, Ethan Winters x fem!reader 

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: angst, breakup, lose ending because i cant make decisions, chris’s trauma^tm

Author’s Note: I would totally be down to do a part 2 to this if anyone wants ittttttt. Also I made Mia his sister because I hate her and need her to be so irrelevant lol. I wanted this to be better but alas we are here. I just needed to write something with my favorite resident evil characters. these two will always be it for me <3

Summary: Chris and you had been together for years and partners for longer. He broke up with you when he felt it getting too dangerous. Years later, when your boyfriend Ethan gets lost in Louisiana, you call him for backup. 

Genre: angst, yearning 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Survivor’s guilt is defined as a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress experienced by someone who has survived an incident in which others died. 

When you feel the pain in your chest when talking about an incident that you lived through that you shouldn’t have. When you feel like you are living for so many people that you have lost. When you imagine what it would be like for them if they had taken your place, if you had just been granted access to death. When you are not worthy of the life you are living and constantly being told you're the hero when all you were was the ending. 

Chris Redfield has survivor’s guilt. He could not tell you the amount of people he has known that are no longer walking around with him. He could not tell you the amount of funerals he had been in or been to. 

He knew grief like it was an old friend. He knew the inside of grief, the texture of the walls that caved in around him. He knew it like he was born alongside it. Grief was a twin to Chris Redfield. 

He couldn’t look in the mirror without seeing his companions. Grief and guilt. 

He’d like to think he knew the patterns better than anyone else. If someone were to know what it looked like right before he lost someone, it would be him. He wished death wasn’t so spontaneous. He hoped that one day he would save someone on purpose, save someone that he wanted within the world. 

The warmth in his chest when he saw you was an indicator. It was a warning sign. It was alarm bells. The taste of your lips was a familiar feeling of something he should not have. The feel of your skin was a promise from the world that it would be righted again. You would be taken away. You had to be, so the world could turn, so that he wouldn’t forget the lives he was living for. 

“You’ve been quiet,” you said, gently. You were sitting across from him, two dinner plates between you. His eyes flicked up to yours. You were so good at reading him. You were so concerned, like his personal welfare were your own responsibility. “How was your day?”

“Long,” he said, through a breath. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to scrounge up something else to say. 

“Hopefully they’ll be more bearable once we get jobs together again,” you suggested. The two of you were working for the BSAA and often were sent into the field together. It was helpful for missions if you were both with someone you knew. Usually the job didn’t care that much, knowing that their people were disposable. Warm bodies were not a luxury in a world with 7 billion of them. 

But recently you had a drought of time without each other. Different goals, same organization. You missed having him with you to help. You weren’t used to having to vocalize yourself because Chris could read you like a book. He liked to say it was a talent but you knew the truth. He had just learned you so well that he couldn’t know you any better.

“Yeah.” He swallowed hard. You met his gaze. 

“What is it?” You wanted to make a joke. Don’t like the Chinese take out? or Jeans too tight? but you refrained. Something had been eating at him for weeks it felt like. He didn’t hold you as close. He was a physical person and his bear hugs were like they’re own luxury. 

Chris liked to think of himself as a brave man. He was a lot of things, not a lot of them good, but he was at least brave. He took the steps that needed to be taken. He tried his best to save people for their best interests, not for him. So why was this so hard? 

“I think we should break up.” 

It was like he had broken the sound barrier. You looked around, searching for an indication that this was some sort of joke. Nothing came. 

“What? Why?” 

“I think it would be better for both of us.”

“You can’t speak for me.” 

“I can.” 

“No, no you can’t,” you argued. You were raising your voice now, anger that he was willing to let this go so quickly. “What happened? What did I do?” 

Your voice broke his heart. The desperation, the scrounging for something to blame. He was to blame. Didn’t you see that? 

“We can’t keep going like this.” 

“What?” 

“We can’t keep acting like this life is sustainable for either of us. It was nice while it lasted.” He swallowed hard. “Its’ what’s best.” 

“Is that what you want?” 

There was such a betrayal in your eyes. You had never looked at him like that. Not even when he fucked up on the job, when his mistakes could’ve cost him lives. You never looked at him like he was anything less than perfect. 

“Yes.” He couldn’t say anything else. You would see right through him if he spoke again. You would know why he was doing it, you would know that he wasn’t doing this because he wanted to but because he had to. You couldn’t live much longer. He knew how this went. 

Your breathing was ragged. The gravity sat in your chest like a weight. If you thought about this for one more second you would start to cry. 

“Okay.” 

He closed his eyes. Your voice was childlike. It was as though he had just chastised you for doing your favorite thing. You stood up slowly. Each sound was too loud. You tossed your food into the garbage, movements sluggish. 

You went through the kitchen door and you didn’t come back. 

He sat there until he heard your car start. 

-

You gazed down at your bullet proof vest. You felt it in your hands, the weight of it surprisingly familiar. It had seen action. There were scruffs on the sides from the elements and the relentless nights spent sleeping with it on. There was a sharpie marking at the bottom, messily placed there by Chris. You rubbed your finger along it. 

“What’s that?” 

You looked up. 

Ethan Winters stood in the doorway to the bedroom. He walked forward a bit, looking over you to the object in your hands. 

“Some stuff from when I worked with the BSAA,” you explained dryly. You handed it to him. He took it, assessing the weight. 

“Good thing you don’t have to wear this dumbbell all the time,” he muttered. You laughed gently, successfully being taken out of your nostalgia. 

“It’s like five pounds Ethan.” 

“That’s heavy.” You shook your head, taking it back. You place it into its box. “Ready to go?” 

“Almost,” you promised. 

You and your boyfriend Ethan were moving into a new house. He had insisted on living in this one ever since his sister Mia went missing, just in case she returned looking for him. But it had been three years and you had outgrown it. He finally caved, allowing you to go domestic house shopping together. 

It had been eight years since you left the BSAA. Eight years since you had seen Chris Redfield, eight years since he had broken up with you. Up until Ethan, you had only dated guys around you which was slim pickings. You thought you had a good one with Chris but that breakup wrecked you. 

Then there was Ethan. Then there didn’t need to be anything else. 

You had a new life, one that had nothing to do with bioweapons you had once been so accustomed to. You had one that was, as Chris would say, sustainable. You could grow old in your new house with Ethan. Get married. Maybe even have kids. You never would’ve been able to do that before. 

“The van’s ready when you are,” he said. “I’m gonna call for pizza.”

“Who said I wanted pizza?”

“When do you not want pizza?” 

He left the room. You were alone once again. You shut the box up and taped it. That was then and this is now. 

You carried the box downstairs and placed it among the others. Ethan swung by and got some food, then met you back at your new home. You had already started to unload boxes and by the time they were all inside the sun was down. You sat on a cardboard box, munching on cold pizza, as Ethan plugged in his laptop. 

“That was exhausting,” he muttered. He had shed his jacket and was now in just a tshirt and jeans that he had sweat through. 

“So you’re too tired to christen the house?” He gave you a look. “You wanna finish the pizza.” 

“Yes I wanna finish the pizza.” You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“I need to shower anyway.” You got up, swallowing the last of your food. You hummed under your breath as you dug around the boxes to find your clothes. Ethan scrolled through his computer wordlessly. You patted his shoulder as you passed him with your clothes. 

As you walked upstairs, Ethan opened up his email folders. To the sound of the bathroom door closing, he clicked on the newest one. It had been sent the night before, while he was sleeping. He had taken time off work to move in but this didn’t look like a work email. It didn’t have a title. 

He opened it up. 

Dulvey, Louisiana. 

Baker farm. 

Come get me. 

-

The conversation seemed too rushed. You got out of the shower and there was a bombardment of feelings that followed. Ethan wanted to leave immediately. She wanted him to come and get her, after all these years. He was already looking at flights, at a route that he could drive. The words and pleads came stumbling out of his mouth. 

She needs me. 

She’s stuck there, she needs me. 

The instinct that bubbled in your chest was one you were familiar with. The preparation for a place that no human should venture. You wanted to give him a gun and a vest and let him be. 

“I got out of that life so that you and I could be safe.”

“This isn’t like that.”

“You know it is.” 

You were sitting down to his standing. You looked up at him with real concern in your eyes. 

“What else could it be? That she’s been taken and then all of the sudden sends you a cryptic email instead of calling the police? How would she even know you hadn’t changed your email? Come on Ethan, think about this.” Silence hung in the air, fighting one anothers wills. You and Ethan rarely got into arguments and you still weren’t sure if you had the power in this conversation or not. It was his sister, sure, but something was wrong here. If anyone would know, you would. 

“I have to.” 

“Let me come with you.” Your mind flashed back to the unopened box of your old things. You could put that vest back on. Would there be any coming back from that? 

“No. No, I can’t let you. This isn’t your fight.”

“Your fight is my fight.”

“I can’t lose you both,” he said, voice low. There was an air of vulnerability about him that mixed with his natural headstrong nature. You knew that feeling, the pit in your chest of losing someone in the search for something else. 

“Let’s go to bed. Think on this. Okay? We can talk about it in the morning,” you pleaded. Maybe if he thought about it for longer than two seconds he could stay with you. You could have that sustainable life. 

It took him a moment of contemplation but he finally nodded. You breathed slowly as you stood up. You had nothing but the mattress on the floor. It wasn’t going to be comfortable but it wasn’t going to be awful. You had each other. 

He got his pajamas on slowly. You could practically see the cogs turning in his head. You wanted to argue about this more but you had already stopped the conversation. You had to stick to your guns. He would feel differently in the morning. 

He got under the comforter with you. There was a lone lamp beside his head, giving all the light in the room. He turned it off as he rested his head. 

“Ethan,” you mumbled. He turned his head back to you and for just a moment, his thoughts cleared. It was just the two of you again. It could be just the two of you forever. “I love you.” His smile softened. He moved towards you, throwing his arm around you. You nuzzled into his chest. 

“I love you too,” he promised but his heart didn’t seem in it like it usually did.

-

You woke up before the sun. Your eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the darkness that engulfed the room. You groaned involuntarily. Ethan’s arm was no longer around you. You turned around to face him, ready to make some complaint, when you were met with emptiness. You paused, starring, delirious. It took you far too long to catch up to the obvious reason he was no longer gone. 

Once it hit you, you started to move. 

You threw yourself out of the mattress, running to teh bathroom. The house was still a maze to you. It would be home soon but it wasn’t home yet. The familiarity of it was missing which made it more eerie. 

“Ethan!” you called, voice weak with sleep. You looked out the window, trying to find the shapes of the cars. One was missing. Your heart started to beat faster as you went into a panic. “Ethan!” you called again, louder now. You flung open every door desperately until you were back at the bedroom. Under the lamp there was a note. You rushed for it, almost ripping it while you snatched it. 

I’m sorry. I love you more than anything. 

I’ll be back soon, I swear.

E

You let out a shaky breath. You cursed, throwing the paper down weakly, kicking the wall. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whispered. You had to follow him. There was no other option. He had to know you would follow him. Despite it being 4 in the morning you turned all the lights in the house on. You searched for the box you had hoped to forget. 

Finally, at your feet, was the recently taped box. You tore it open and grabbed the vest out of it. There was no use in dwelling on the signature or the comfortableness of it. You needed to get ready to go. 

-

The Baker Farm was too far out of the way. You had started to lose cell service by the time you finally reached it. You had gone down the same dirt road Ethan had by the looks of his parked car. You wanted to slash the tires out of frustration. Knowing you were on the same insurance plan, you refrained. 

You followed the lightly treaded walkway to the gate of a large house. The gate was locked and too tall to climb. You went around the edge to what looked to be the guest house. 

You just had to hope you weren’t too far behind him. He had hours of a jump on you but you had seen his car. He was here. 

You checked your phone. Nothing. Would you even get any calls out here? 

You pushed forward through the guest house. It looked abandoned, like someone had just picked up and left dinner. The smell of mold traveled through the air. It almost felt like you could see the particles through the setting sun. Someone had left the door in the back open, leading to the long hallway. Something or someone had been pushed through a wall, resulting in debris flying everywhere. Someone had struggled here. Recently. 

You fought the pit in your stomach and forced yourself to think of the best. It was normal. There were no bioweapons all the way out in the middle of Louisiana somewhere. Why would there be? Ethan was fine. Ethan had to be fine. 

The tenseness of your shoulders was familiar. You did not miss the ache or the worry. You turned to go up the stairs. Deja Vu washed over you, brought on by archived feelings. 

Chris attempted to never leave your side but he too often did. You were both used to finding each other again, it was part of the job. You could get separated by a wall or a weapon and you would find each other again. 

It had been too long and the familiar fear creeped into your mind. He was here but you couldn’t hear him. He had to be here, his GPS assured you. The silence was deafening. You swore then to never yell at him again, if he could just emerge unscathed from the rubble of another fight. Could Chris Redfield go down like this? In the middle of some nameless mission, with just you to carry him back home? 

“Here!” 

Relief washed over you as you rushed back to him, moving aside the debris of a fight you had not been a witness too. Dirt covered his face. He was almost unrecognizable in the dried maroon blood that covered his body. 

“Are you okay? Oh God. Oh God Chris,” you whispered, holding him with your hands like he wasn’t real.

“I’m okay,” he breathed. “I’m okay.”

You ached for the relief you had felt then. Ethan wasn’t as capable as Chris had been. Where would you find him? The top of the guest house revealed a larger view of the house. At the bottom was a man, a large mallet over his shoulder, dragging someone away by their feet. 

Ethan. 

He was unconscious but even just seeing him made you feel better. 

Then you noticed the mold. 

Something was wrong with that man, with that house. It was covering the ground, pulsating like it was alive. Instinct kicked in before feelings. You grabbed your phone out of your pocket, watching keenly to see where they were taking Ethan. 

You glanced down at your phone, praying that his number hadn’t changed, and hovered over Chris’s name. You had never been able to do these things alone and you were no use to Ethan if you were dead. 

You closed your eyes so you wouldn’t see yourself click the button. You put the phone up to your ear, listening to it ring, hoping he wouldn’t pick up, hoping you wouldn't be able to make a phone call this far out. 

On the sixth ring you were beginning to lose whatever hope you had. Then he picked up. 

“Hello?” His voice was wary but familiar. It made you weak in the knees, just hearing him speak, his cadence the exact same. 

“I need you.” 

-

You didn’t want to wait but you had given Chris the directions to your car. You didn’t want him to have to play catch up for you the entire time so you waited outside the guest house, pacing. You didn’t know how long you had but he promised he would be there in under an hour. You weren’t sure how he would manage that but you trusted his word.

Sure enough, just about fifty minutes later, he emerged from the bushes. Older. Weathered. His eyes were harder than they had been, less emotion behind his gaze. You reminded yourself you were doing this for Ethan, even as the rush of emotions had returned. You hadn’t seen each other since you had moved out. 

“You came,” you breathed. 

“You called.” You pursed your lips, wanting to thank him, wanting to think about the elephant in the room, wanting to beg him for answers that had been plaguing you forever. Instead you were gentle with your words.

“Thank you Chris.” He nodded once. 

“We’ve been scoping this area. The disappearances here are akin to something consistent with bioweapons,” he said, walking past you. “Where’d you last see your friend?”

“Ethan was out towards the main house. I’ve spotted at least one bioweapon but the ground is covered in some sort of black mass. Do you know anything about that?” He handed you a gun without a word. You took it. It was yours. He had kept yours. It begged so many questions. Had he been using it? Did he even recognize it as yours anymore? Did he dig it out of the rubble, just like you did the vest you were wearing? 

“A bit.” 

“You’re being awfully cagey.”

“This is still work for me.” You nodded once. He was going to stay reserved. It didn’t matter what you two had, he was here for the job. This is exactly the reason you left without a fuss. It would always be the job and then you. 

“Alright. Welll follow me.” 

At the edge of the property was an older house, one that was falling apart at the seams. You managed to get around the bayou to enter it in an attempt to reach the main house, where you were sure they were keeping Ethan. 

“What’s he doing out here?” Chris questioned. You glanced at him. It was like seeing a ghost in his eyes. How could Chris have become a stranger to you? How had you gotten here? 

“Looking for his sister Mia. She went missing three years ago and yesterday he got an email from her with this location.” 

“Not exactly tangible evidence.”

“That’s what I said.” You kept in stride with him. He pushed through doors, turning around quickly to make sure there was no threat. He led. You watched his six. “I told him to sleep on it. When I woke up he was gone.” 

“You’re living together?” His voice showed no sign of emotion. He was asking as though you had never known each other. He was asking like you were a civilian and he was gathering all the useful information. 

“Yes. He’s my boyfriend.” A beat in his step was missed but it was hardly noticeable. You pushed past him. 

“And he didn’t feel the need to tell you he was leaving for Louisiana?” 

“He knew I disagreed with him.” 

“Sounds like someone else I knew.” The first allusion that you had ever once known each other. You walked in front of him as you crossed a bridge into the main yard. 

“I listened.”

“In one ear and out the other,” he argued. He was detached from his words. You wanted to ask him why he had even come. Why hadn’t he investigated this before you called if he knew it was here? What was his angle?

“It always ruminated in my head for a bit.” You reached the yard. The house was vast and unfamiliar. It loomed in the nighttime air. There were lights on upstairs and some lamps in the main room. You approached the front door and attempted to open it. It didn’t budge. You hit it, kicked it, cursed at it. 

“Move,” Chris demanded. He rammed his body against the door. You watched him, watched as he tensed his muscles through his tactical vest. The door remained intact but you didn't even notice after a minute. When were you going to allow yourself to admit that you missed him? 

You looked through the window, cupping your hands around your eyes. You jumped at a face emerging from the other side. 

“Y/N?” 

“Ethan!” You put your palms against the glass. He was on the other side. The window was murky and cloudy but you knew his face well enough to recognize it through the blur. From the faint look, he was okay. He was alive. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m okay,” he said, weakly. It sounded like a lie. You narrowed your eyes but he couldn’t tell. 

“I specifically told you not to come,” you said. 

“It’s too late now.” “Did you find Mia?” He took a deep breath. 

“Yeah. Listen, if you see her you have to be careful. All of the people here are normal one second and then they are something completely different.” You nodded. 

“Can you get through the door?” 

“No. I have to find three keys.” 

“Fuck,” you muttered. “Spencer Mansion all over again.” You glanced at Chris. “Listen, I brought a friend out here. We’re gonna try and get in.” You tried the door again to no avail. 

“I’m gonna try and find the keys,” Ethan said. You didn’t want him to go but realistically couldn’t have him stand there with you, not with the apparent threats roaming the house. You nodded. 

“Please be careful.” 

“You too.” He left then, hand lingering on the glass. You turned to Chris, embarrassed. His jaw was set. “I’m gonna clear the trailer.” You nodded once, watching him go. 

-

Chris tried to convince himself he was happy for you. You had made a life for yourself. That’s exactly what he wanted you to do. He left you so that you would make a life he could never give you. Granted, he never expected to see the fruits of his sacrifice. The longer he was with you the more it became evident to him that his emotions never faded. It was like nothing had changed but everything had. You were the same but different. You caused him to want to smile even at dumb things, like attempting to open a door you knew was locked. You were in love with someone else. He had never seen you in love with someone else. He didn’t like the feeling of watching you with Ethan. 

His sense of duty overrode his emotions but even that wasn’t enough to stop his lingering gazes. 

You adjusted your vest in the trailer mirror. There was a head in the fridge and a gun on the counter. You were glad you had called Chris. He reloaded his gun as he watched you out of the corner of his eye. 

“There can’t be much padding left in that,” he said gruffly. 

“Hm?”

“The vest.” You looked down at it, like you hadn’t even noticed you were adjusting it. Your finger brushed his signature.

“It still does its job,” you promised. “Why, you got an extra?” He shook his head. You turned back towards him. “That’s what I thought. I’d rather have this than nothing at all.”

You kept the vest he had signed. 

He kept the gun you had used. 

How long could you dance around this stupid confession? 

“I’m gonna try to break the window,” you said finally. “To the front house.” 

“You don’t think they have bullet proof windows?” 

“We’re in the middle of Dulvey.” You shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt to try.” Chris’s jaw set, nodding curtly. He followed you outside. He was weary of the ever growing black goop gathering outside. You tried to hit the window but nothing gave. You tried to hit it again, causing a more aggressive boom. “Shit. This gun was not made for this. Anything around I can use?” Chris started to look around his feet for something stronger. You moved along the deck. 

Abruptly, there was a squelching sound coming from the middle of the yard, near the trailer. Both you and Chris raised your gun, instinct taking over before the thought process. You watched as the black goop grew into some sort of figure, barely able to stand on its own two feet. You tried to force yourself to act surprised but nothing came. It was life like it used to be. 

Chris shot it first. It stumbled, just barely. You shot its head once and then twice. It came down only when the head was removed. 

“You ok-” you started and was suddenly cut off when something moved behind you. You turned but it was too late. There was something on your shoulder, something wet and cold and big. You had figured because your back was to the house, you didn’t need to watch it. You heard the gunshots but didn’t see them. You breathed deeply as the blackness dissipated. 

You stumbled backwards, hitting something else hard. You jumped, raising your gun, but Chris grabbed your wrist before you could even point it far. 

“Hey, hey.” 

It had been a minute since you were scared like that. You couldn't remember the last time your life was on the line. The shock must have shown in your eyes because Chris was holding your arms gently, looking at you with sympathy. “You’re okay,” he promised. You nodded. Your brain reverted back to where you knew that voice from and the comfort it brought. You cleared your throat, sitting up, swallowing hard. 

“I’m fine,” you promised. “I’m fine.” You stood up, wobbling on your feet. He held your elbow. “I’m just a bit rusty.” He scoffed. 

“Whatever you say.” He looked around. “They come out of the black mass. We watch that like it’s open space from now on,” he ordered. You nodded. 

“Okay. Yeah.” You cleared your throat. The coldness was gone. 

“What did I say?” 

“Black mass is bad.”

“Good girl.” You cleared your throat, flushing. “Now if you ever want your boyfriend out of that house, we have to keep moving.” He adjusted your vest with worry and then walked away like nothing had happened. You followed him with your eyes. 

-

You and Chris were outside debating if he could hoist you up onto the balcony of the second floor when the front door opened. You both looked down, eyes wide, as Ethan fell through the front door. He was clutching his side and a gun was in his hand. 

You ran up to him, almost dropping your gun yourself. 

“Oh God, Ethan? Ethan, are you okay?” He allowed himself to fall into your embrace, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You breathed evenly as you held him in your arms. You pulled away to see him, look him in the eyes. “What’s wrong? What’s hurt?” There was dried blood on his face. Was it his? 

“I’m fine. I’m okay.” You pursed your lips, backing up. You looked him up and down and grabbed his hand. 

“What is this? Are these staples? What is this?” 

“I’m okay.” You gave him a bewildered look, mouth agape. His hand was held together by staples now. 

“I told you not to come. I told you to wait for me.” If you thought he would live through you hitting him, you would. You were relieved he was okay but you were angry he had left without telling you, putting himself in danger. You had shared with him your stressors about past relationships and he had walked right into one of them. 

“Who’s this?” 

Speaking of past relationships. 

You had almost forgotten Chris was there. 

He stood behind you, eyes averted, chin up. 

“Ethan, this is Chris Redfield. He was my partner when I worked at Stars and the BSAA.” Ethan knew the name and he knew the reaction he should have to it. He had driven you to do something you never wanted to do again. Ethan’s actions hadn’t manifested in you calling the man that had broken your heart. And you didn’t look like your heart was shattered. 

“We need to leave,” Chris explained, not bothering with a hello. He was keenly aware of the situation you were all in. 

“I still have to find Mia,” Ethan explained. 

“Did she do that to your hand?” you questioned. 

“There’s something wrong with her. I know where the anecdote is, if I can find that and find her then we can all leave.” 

“She’s a lost cause,” Chris explained. “There’s no use in looking for her now. The BSAA is currently narrowing explosives on this area and we need to be gone before the sun comes up if we don't want to get caught up in his destruction.” 

“I’m not going to leave her here,” Ethan argued. “The family here are infected by something. I think it has to do with the child she was watching before she went missing. I’ve found some infor-”

“In this line of work, we shoot first and ask questions later. I don’t expect you to know that Ethan but we need to leave,” Chris said, cutting him off. Ethan’s face hardened. You could tell the change in his demeanor as he moved his shoulders back, eyes going dark. You had no way of telling what he had gone through in that house and you had a feeling it was going to take a while to get it all out of him. 

“Do you agree with him?” Ethan asked, looking at you. 

“Don’t put me in the mi-”

“You’re in the middle. I’m putting you there,” Ethan said. “Do you think we should leave her and this entire family to just die?” You looked at him with soft eyes. This was one of the hard decisions you and Chris had to make everyday. You missed the naiveness of his viewpoint immensely. You thought you were working back towards it but it seemed the hard work never let you be. 

“I won’t risk your life for hers.”

“I’m not asking you to risk my life.”

“Will you risk mine?” Ethan shook his head in disbelief. 

“We’re losing time being out here,” he said. “I’m going to the old house and looking for that cure. Come with me or don’t, I don’t care.”

“You don’t mean that,” you said, reaching to grab him before he left but he brushed you off. You looked at Chris with pleading eyes, eyes he knew well. “We can’t possibly leave civilians here and nuke the place Redfield.” 

“It’s their choice to leave.” 

“Mia doesn’t have a choice,” Ethan called. He was already walking away. Incredibly conflicted, you stared at Chris, hoping for some guidance. He had never been the one to give guidance in your relationship. 

“Chris.” 

He had only ever turned you down once in his life. The look in your eyes could make him weak in his knees anyday. You could get him to toss himself off a building with that look. His jaw hardened.

You could die without him. 

You could die with him, he thought. When had he ever been able to save others before?

“Chris,” you pleaded. 

“We have four hours till sunrise. You and I will be gone by then.” You nodded curtly. He approached you before you could walk away. “But you’re not going to run around in that vest,” he muttered. He unbuckled the one he was wearing, untightening it as he lifted it over his head. Your eyes softened. He was still trying to protect you. Maybe he had been trying to protect you all along. 

“Chris I won’t let you-”

“I’m stronger than you.” You smirked, looking up at him. He had a smug look in his eyes. 

“I don’t remember you being forceful.”

“I never had to be. You were always a willing participant,” his voice was soft but disregarding. You glanced at Ethan who you could barely see in the shrubbery as he walked away. He took off your vest and placed it on the ground as he put his own over your head. “You need it more than me.”

“I’m just a little rusty.”

“I can’t risk a little rusty.” He tightened it around your waist, the same way he would help you mid mission before. It was warm. Was it humid out here or was it just the way his fingers brushed your skin? 

“Thank you,” you breathed. He nodded. He put your old one over his head. He had left all the things in his tactical vest. “You want any of these?” 

“I could do with a knife what you can do with a bomb.” You raised an eyebrow. 

“You better watch out Redfield. I might show you up even with the rust.”

“I’d like to see you try.” You wrapped your hands around the straps and leaned back, tilting your head. 

“I missed you.” He tried not to show any emotion but the words seemed so magical he couldn’t help it. He took a deep breath. 

“You know I did it to protect you right?”

“I know now,” you said quietly. 

“You have a life.” 

“I have a life,” you repeated. It was like you were trying to convince yourself of it more than him. You looked at Ethan. In the moment nothing seemed more appealing than leaving with Chris and being safe somewhere other than here. You knew what you had to do regardless. “You know, in another life, I wouldn’t have minded dying in your arms,” you said quietly. He had that sad look in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t have lived through it,” he admitted. You gestured with your head. 

“Yes you would’ve. Come on. We have things to do.”

Part 2

[unproduciblesmackdown]

because i researched this via [9 trillion ppl saw these movies, Someone's made some like press interview compilation, right] the bolt of Bass Boosted Handshake Emoticon within like forty Seconds was basically my formal certified adhd diagnosis like. thee most Ha Ha I Do Thaaat in that express realm like uh huh yep Uh Huh Yeah Go Go Go

yo what the fuck lmfao not the tiny little actor kid playing eddie in the it movies voicing alberto a la luca. zero recognition like kind of could deepfake it in my head litchrelly i mean like those actor children being quite small & then even recording something a few years later like alright yeah voice just dropped a ways already but i definitely had to stare intently at the [looking that up] textual confirmation. absolutely zero resonance at the time a whole like month ago lol go figure. congrats on the bisexuality too he/they king

[ducktracy]

Have you ever wanted to join the writers room of SpongeBob and the Patrick star show?

THIS IS A TIMELY QUESTION! i was just discussing this with my director a few weeks ago. tldr before i even get to the long part: not necessarily, it's never really been something on my radar and so i don't feel as equipped for it but that could--and i hope it does--change!

LONGER EXPLANATION.. i was in a meeting with my director recently pitching my boards to him, and we got spitballing back and forth and we essentially just started joke pitching an idea for an episode. he was like "yknow that's pretty good, i could get you in touch with our script coordinators if you ever felt you wanted to take it further" and my response was like ahhhhhhh nah i could never write an episode i wouldn't know where to start blah blah blah, and we basically had a talk that amounted to "don't knock it 'til you'll try it" and so it's definitely been more on my mind lately

IT'S AN INTERESTING SITUATION. i'd consider myself a decent writer and i certainly enjoy doing it, most of my free time is spent writing my reviews! likewise, i LOVE breaking down and analyzing dialogue and coming up with random character conversations. talking to the person who typed the entire Hamlet soliloquy in Porky's stutter one time because ?. i think i'm more interested in writing than i think i really am

but something about writing for cartoons has always been very intimidating to me HAHA. i'm not really someone who is sitting on a wealth of episode ideas and dying going like "ahhh man i wish we could see SpongeBob and Patrick doing this", etc--if and when i have those moments it's usually very spontaneous and in the moment! like what i mentioned above when i'm spitfiring in a meeting. i think i get intimidated by the "where the hell do i start" and "how do i organize this" aspects, because i have had ideas for cartoons before and aim to act on some of them! i still haven't forgotten the "Porky and Daffy are competing salesmen" cartoon idea i thought up in 2020 which is also partially responsible for my job in the first place. but it's like a blip, a skip in a record in that i struggle untangling and organizing and really establishing a working structure. i am a VERY detail oriented person and so i think i like working smaller and more intimately, where i can add my own personal flair to something that someone who may be more proficient in establishing a foundation has done.

BUT! maybe i just say all this because i haven't done it yet!! don't know it unless i try! for my purposes as an artist now i enjoy drawing and embellishing pre-existing ideas and suggesting gags and getting into the nitty gritty of the details on a small scale, but i also don't wanna put myself in any boxes and restrain myself from trying, either. i don't talk about them as much on here just because they literally dominate every other aspect of my life (well that and NDAs forbid me from doing so!), but i love SB and Patrick and all the Bikini Bottomites deeply! i'm so lucky to get to document their lives. they really are like real friends to me and i hope i'm lucky enough to find more ways to fraternize with them and learn about them and bring out their tics and habits and traits and how they contrast and support one another. i do that best through drawing right now, but i'm excited for all the ways i'll be able to expand beyond that. and maybe one day that'll include writing!

ALSO KINDA FRAGMENTED I KNOW i just made my closing statements above. i apologize for my pedanticism. but TPSS doesn't have a writer's room to my knowledge because it's board driven! we get to sit in on storyboard pitches (just had a wonderful one this evening) and watch the artists pitch their boards and it's such a wonderful experience. i have thought "i wonder how it would go if i pitched to the network like that" in sitting in these meetings. BUT JUST WANTED TO CLARIFY i know writer's room is an all consuming term and i'm being pedantic. but it's very neat that we get to work on a board driven show to begin with and has made quite a difference and so i just like pointing it out :) i love what we're doing

[zodiactalks]

Most CHARITABLE Zodiac Signs Ranked

If you were asked whether you would like the world to be a better place, I am sure your answer would be yes.

None of us wish any harm to others and would gladly do our part to contribute to society (except, of course, the psychopathic or antisocial).

A charitable person is socially conscious, generous, kind, very sensitive, and eager to make a difference in the world.

They are less concerned about their not-so-important personal matters and always keep others in mind when making decisions.

However, some of us seem too wrapped up in our personal affairs and then don't have the slightest time left to do a little charity!

While others seem to devote all their energy and efforts to helping those in need.

Read on and find out which are the most charitable signs of the zodiac.

#1. Pisces

Pisces is the Zodiac’s last sign and can see themselves reflected in everyone else, so empathy is as natural to them as breathing. These signs thrive on helping others. They never look out for their own welfare without taking other people into account.

You can find these generous individuals doing charity work in hospitals, shelters, orphanages, and even prisons.

They also often lead fundraisers for abandoned animals and promote environmentalist habits. They just have a lot of love to give to the world, and they will go to great lengths to share it with those who need it the most.

#2. Cancer

Cancer is a water sign that knows very well how it feels to be vulnerable and search for comfort. That's why they tend to do charity work and help people in need of support.

At first, it is difficult for them to open up, as Cancer is shy around people they don't know and tends to be more reserved.

They usually look for organizations that remind them of their childhood and that are in their hometown.

#3. Aquarius

Aquarius, like Pisces, thinks of the common good before their own. These signs direct their actions towards a fairer humanity and won't rest until the most unfortunate people find peace.

Thus, it is common to find them doing charitable work, living in cooperatives, and working as a team for a common goal. This sign is not selfish and couldn't cares less about surpassing others in fame or profit. They honestly seek a more balanced and just world for all.

#4. Virgo

This earth sign is constantly looking for ways to help others and make things work better.

Although they are usually swamped, they find the time to help those in need in their neighborhood. Virgos make their food, clean where they stay and pass along a few bucks to ensure their well-being.

Virgo is not overtly demonstrative with their emotions, but they are very attentive to those who need help and don't think twice about lending a hand.

#5. Capricorn

Capricorns have often gone through tough challenges in their youth that have turned them into the firm and committed people they are today.

That's why they know all too well what it feels like to be helpless and endure the storms that a lonely and vulnerable home life brings.

So, they try to do charity work from time to time to avoid forgetting where they came from. This keeps them humble despite their current enormous success.

#6. Leo

Although they have a terrible reputation for being self-centered, Leo has a huge and generous heart! These signs can sometimes get lost in their little daily dramas, but that doesn't stop them from considering the less privileged.

The nice thing about Leo is that they don't plan their deeds. When they feel like giving something, they do it spontaneously, which often turns out to be very thoughtful gifts.

Leo has the spirit of a child who does what they feel and does not think too much about the motives. If at that moment, they feel like helping someone, they will unquestionably do it.

#7. Libra

Libra is a friendly and outgoing sign. It often hosts charity and fundraising events, which end up being the talk of the neighborhood.

They don't usually help those in need because they naturally want to, but because it's just another excuse to throw a party and show off their beautiful new outfits.

Even if the motives are not the best, the goal ends up being achieved and helps many people to improve their lives. In addition, Librans have a great sense of justice, and when they find that some people are living in unfavorable conditions for no particular reason, they can't help but pitch in to lend a hand.

#8. Sagittarius

Sagittarius is too busy enjoying thousands of adventures and basking in the blessings of life to think about people who are struggling.

Since these signs are so optimistic, they forget some people are going through tough times and need help to get by.

Of course, when they realize it, they give everything they have to support them, as these individuals are not stingy. They just need a little reminder from time to time to remember that some people are in a bad place.

#9. Scorpio

Scorpios do not like to be too exposed, especially with people they do not know. They prefer to remain in the dark, observing how society functions but avoiding too much involvement.

Besides, most of the time, they're caught up in their own struggles and don't have a very positive view of the world. So, there is not much point in trying to help.

When they decide to do charity work, they do it anonymously and do their best not to be seen.

#10. Taurus

Taurus invests too much in its luxuries and a comfortable lifestyle. They think that hard work is responsible for a good standard of living, and if we give away everything to people in need, they will never try to get back on their feet.

So, they spend their hard-earned money on their comfort and sharing with their loved ones. However, when a fellow friend needs assistance, they won't hesitate to lend a helping hand.

#11. Gemini

Gemini is somewhat oblivious to suffering in the world. They spend their time learning new skills, running all sorts of errands, and meeting new people.

These signs love to have fun, and when they have to face the harsh reality of some people, they don't know how to deal with it. So, they prefer to skip it and occupy their minds with other things to avoid getting depressed.

#12. Aries

Aries has an individualistic and assertive personality. These signs are constantly pursuing new goals, and the faster they can achieve them and move on to the next one, the better.

So, they don't have much time to do charity work, unless it is some kind of competition, they are participating in. If you challenge Aries to spend the most time doing charity work, they will do it just to show off their victory.

[utilitycaster]

one thing that confuses me about c3 is that if matt didn't give them clues about the subject of the campaign, is imogen just a lucky coincidence to him? because if she was a literally any other sorcerer there wouldn't be this connection. would the carrying of the plot then fall to orym? because I assume matt likely knew liam would be playing orym again quite early in c3 development? I feel like in other campaigns he managed to lead his players to his world-altering intrigues in more organic ways. managed to make enough personal connections that vm went after chroma, that the nein went after the nonagon and cognouza. (however that does make me wonder how the nonagon plot would feel if molly lived and if it would similarly feel that molly was the one dragging everyone into the plot)

(that also makes me salty how people say liam hogged the spotlight bc vax made a spontaneous decision that carried huge weight but wasn't something anyone could predict. I don't see nearly enough similar sentiment towards imogen who really feels favoured by the plot)

Hi anon! Again, this is all speculative (though we do know from 4SD that Laura didn't know the nature of the storm) but I suspect that either the party wouldn't have the same internal connection to Ruidusborn but would still be pushed towards this plot; for what it's worth, the Imogen connections very specifically start driving things in Bassuras; Orym's connections are sufficient to get to Heartmoor Hamlet, Fearne's are what drive the Calloway/Ira connections, and Chetney's issues with Ruidus would have added an extra dimension. Perhaps Fearne would have had some dreams; perhaps the nature of Ruidusborn would have been changed. I think he could have still woven many of their plots into Ruidus in some way and given the others sufficient reason to be interested; it's specifically that one person is so much more tied to it that unbalances it because the other connections are so strong, and it's also worth noting that the conclave and Cognouza came much later in their respective campaigns, after character motivations were much more solidified. This feels more railroaded because it's so early and there isn't the wandering about that the pre-stream of VM or the earlier parts of the Nein had. It's not that you can't do main character/skewed stuff in D&D; but it's really something you need to agree upon in advance (D20 does it all the time, but they workshop the characters beforehand) so that the player is prepared.

I will admit I've had similar questions about the nonagon plot had Molly lived; it might be that his death wiping out that plot, and the fact that the Nein categorically rejected the Empire early on, is why that plot is so strongly character-driven and gets so much room to breathe. I don't know if we'll ever know for sure! I do hope that these questions about Imogen come up at some point, even if it might not be until after the campaign.

I will say: I am frustrated by how much the plot hinges on Imogen, but there's also been a significant amount of hate and criticism towards her even before that was the case. People were livid at the 4 Sided Dive comment about Imogen being the protagonist among NPCs even though it was fully out of character and just discussing archetype; I received a lot of backlash for pointing out that Imogen was justified in being angry at Laudna when Laudna broke the gnarlrock even if Delilah was behind it; and I have serious trepidations about how she might be treated if ships don't go the way people like, even if Laudna is the one who initiates something else. In general, while I do think it can be helpful to compare the fandom responses to cast members (and uh, just did so) because they are wildly disparate, I also think most cast members receive hate from some quarter, especially if their character is in focus and someone is Big Mad that their favorite isn't in focus, and that is a whole other extensive discussion I am not qualified nor inclined to lead.

[paigelts05]

Does Gregory ever become "un-posessed" by Evan?

No. They co-exist just fine, and neither of them see a need to end this arrangement. But you have just unlocked the next Renegade AU Lore dump.

Renegade AU Lore Dump: Ghosts and Possession.

In the Renegade AU there are two types of ghosts: Electrical and Remnant.

Electrical ghosts are the normal ghost; the last electrical impulses of a persons nervous system that... sticks around somehow.

Remnant is... debatable. It's liquid ghost, but can be extracted from living hosts. The running theory is that it is emotion, but put into a liquid form. It's more of a small fraction of electrical ghost bound to a liquid, with the liquid usually being blood or metal as these are the most stable containment mediums. Other mediums can be used, but that runs the risk of the remnant becoming a biohazard. The existence of ghosts is secular in nature.

In fact, a disgraced former samurai only created his 'domain' because his wife, a wild west cowgirl, was sad that all organised religion (including the one she was a part of) was just incorrect; there was no gods or anything. So the disgraced samurai took the mask of an alligator and promised her that he would ensure those who were truly evil were punished in death, creating OMC.

Most research into ghosts is modern and spearheaded by Dr May Marion Schmidt. Most of her research was started after November 1987, when her brother strangely 'recovered' from neck injuries he'd sustained a month prior. (Mike didn't just spontaneously recover as the initial hypothesis was, Federico - a ghost - just begun to manage the symptoms and internal problems so Mike could ACTUALY recover but not have it absolutely suck in the process).

Someone injected with remnant will have Apparitions (Defined as a hallucination caused by a ghost or ghost related things) of the person or persons that the remnant came from. If the ghosts are nearby, the injected individual can see the ghosts and will still see them in the state that they were in when the remnant sample was taken, even if their appearance has changed since the (re: Gregory seeing Evan as a child despite Evan having survived the bite of 83 and becoming a solider).

It is easier for a ghost to possess someone injected with their remnant, and the person will only feel a portion of the pain of the ghosts death, making it harder to notice.

The specific act of possession is purely the ghosts choice. Unless external factors like another ghost, electric shocks, or possession resistance is at play, an ghost can possess anyone. This takes a lot of effort on the ghosts end, which is why William can't just possess anybody so easily.

Sometimes, a ghost can get bound to the thing they possess and cannot un-possess their host (such are the notable cases of Dunn and 'Miss', as well as Krasnyy and Philip, amongst others). It is theorised that a ghost possessing someone and that possession ensuring the hosts survival in an incident (anything that could have caused the hosts death without the ghost giving them an 'immunity') causes the ghost and host to be unable to separate. 'Immunity' is hardly a technical term and seems an almost foolish notion, but ghosts will always give their host an immunity of some kinds. Blood loss, asphyxiation, organ damage, falls, crushing, fire, and poisoning are the most common ones, but more niche cases have been reported. Newly possessed hosts will only receive one immunity, but as a ghost and host grow more acclimated to one another, a related immunity may arise as the ghost grows more skilled in preventing death by the immune cause (On the surface it looks like a person is immune to blood loss, in reality there's a ghost working overtime to micro-manage their hosts blood to make sure they don't die).

Hosts also sometimes gain a related ability from the ghost (again, it's the ghost doing stuff). Notable cases are Krasnyy's energy drain that he gets from Philip, PT's pyromancy that she gets from Blake, and and Gregory's event simulation that he gets from Evan.

Normally, most ghosts will not take over the hosts body unless the host asks them to, or the situation requires their specific expertise to survive. Some ghost/host duos seamlessly switch between who is in control to navigate dangerous situations. (notable cases being Krasnyy and Philip)

However, some ghosts (such as William, Adelaide, and Christie) who will take over a host and refuse to give the host control back, meaning that it has to be took back by force. Willpower means basically nothing, and means such as forcing the host to sustain injuries, delivering an electric shock, 'the flash-bang trick', or having another ghost try and take over are the main means of thwarting unwanted possession.

Multiple ghosts may exist in one body at a time (Carl Burke and 'Miss' are experts in this) but it requires immense amounts of co-operation from both the host and all ghosts, so a host and ghost can combine forces to force out an unwanted ghost from possessing the host. This could also be used for a host and ghost to trap another ghost within themselves to keep it from escaping.

[librarycard]

@shrimplysleepy Basically everything on the internet is NOT shelf stable and the older it gets the more it rots like actually rots (see data rot wikipedia page) in some way, especially if it’s not maintained, plus as the internet rapidly evolves and sheds its skin websites go down left and right, meaning we’re (depressingly) in the prime age of lost media. whether it’s games, movies, shows, videos, audio, web pages, informational sites (yahoo answers for ex.), etc. we are losing shit all the time.

think of it this way. whatever crazy shit You (royal you; plural) said about willem dafoes penis is straight up going to the void when tumblr kicks the bucket one day. Gone forever.

the only way to mitigate this is to archive web pages, which is why i always say to people if there’s something on the internet you love and never want to lose; save that shit on the way back machine or, if you’re more familiar with the process or want to be, even using a .warc file and emulator to maintain it in your personal storage. this, or pirate that shit. Save it on your computer, save it on drives, save multiple copies for christs sake and remember to keep an eye on these files for rot especially if it’s exclusively using external storage. hard drives as another ex. can sometimes literally melt your information if it has even a small bug!

here’s a quick breakdown of digital archival theory and what those in my field are thinking about all the time:

- how do we save shit from being spontaneously and sometimes quietly killed

- how do we recover shit we lost (usually we can’t if no one saved it somewhere privately)

- piracy is if not an already growing professional practice it is going to be. think of the shows that are being erased at the whim of streaming services or companies that acquired the rights to them. a serious example of this is rooster teeth, a 21 year old media production company responsible for popular media series such as red vs blue and rwby, as well as the first people to ever create (or rather refer to by title) what is now known as Let’s Plays, meaning being funny/silly/conversational on camera while you play a game. And they were put on the chopping block this year after being acquired by warner. after 21 years. and the only reason we still have some of their stuff is because someone went through and saved everything they could before the website disappeared and put it in a digital archive. but so much is gone that i loved and that innovated the gaming industry, just like that.

- This is something archivists are asking each other themselves. We are having to evolve quickly under extreme pressure to keep up with the changing internet and what it means to digitally preserve something. There are still people in my field who don’t even know that the internet isn’t permanent, and that’s why the society of american archivists and similar organizations are revising their expectations/code (think hippocratic oath; essentially, most librarians and archivists “take” one by getting their masters/etc) to include keeping up with new innovations in our field especially regarding the digital landscape.

- what you need to understand is that archivists will likely not think to save your favorite site, images, music because we don’t know about it. if you want to keep something, do it yourself (most easily done on wayback). if you think it is important in some way, get in contact with digital archivists and ask them what you can do to make sure something is preserved.

- another example of why this is so important is censorship. in the time of intense racial violence and genocide we are watching people’s documentation (videos/pictures/etc.) being taken down in real time. save this shit yourself. you never know what they decide should go next—but you can predict it by monitoring the ways that social movements such as the Black Lives Matter movement are going to be suppressed not just in our physical world, but also our digital one.

i’ll shut up now even though i could keep going. i hope you found this informative! i am not an expert in my field, just a grad student, and don’t know everything, but this is what i do know: so many things i love about the internet are gone. so many things i love about the internet are going to face the same fate. but i sure as shit will be ready.

every time someone makes a comment about a permanent digital footprint web devs and digital scholars take a shot and choke on it because they cant help from bursting into uproarious laughter

[utopians]

stop saying "cannibalism causes prion diseases" this is a common misconception

gonna preface this by saying I'm not trying to be weird or edgy here I just have an interest in diseases and find it frustrating to constantly see people spreading misinformation abt how they originate and spread

this misconception comes from an epidemic of kuru, a type of prion disease (you might also seem em referred to as TSEs) that broke out among the Fore people of Papau New Guinea in the 1950s. until colonial rule, the Fore people practiced a form of funerary cannibalism in which a loved one's flesh, including organs, would be consumed after they died. this practice isn't exclusive to the Fore, and has no profound inherent dangers; cooking and eating human flesh doesn't have any more health risks associated with it than eating the flesh of an animal. what started the epidemic wasn't the practice of cannibalism, but rather a stroke of incredibly, incredibly bad luck.

(more under the cut; there's cannibalism and disease talk, but nothing graphic.)

a prion disease is caused by infectious prions in the brain. this is a type of misfolded protein that can cause other proteins to become misfolded as well. the misfolding of these proteins results in a deadly neurodegenerative disease. CJD (creutzfeldt-jakob disease), one type of prion disease, is capable of spontaneously occuring in otherwise healthy individuals with no family history of the disease; this is likely what happened to one unfortunate member of the Fore community. most of the time, only contact with brain and spinal tissue transmit this prion disease, so the women and children who traditionally ate these tissues soon began to present symptoms of the disease. the rest is fairly self explanatory; the community has no experience whatsoever with the disease, so doesn't know how to stop the spread; the afflicted die, and when they are eaten, the disease spreads to a new set of people, they die, the disease spreads more, et cetera. this continues until the practice of funerary cannibalism is brought to an end, and the last known sufferer of the disease dies in 2009.

so there's a couple things to note here. firstly, CJD, the disease that likely struck the initial sufferer, is incredibly rare. it affects roughly one in a million people, and only 85% of these cases are the result of spontaneous generation. secondly, the only reason that it was able to spread to such a degree is because cannibalism was practiced regularly in this culture. to act as though any cannibalism (ESPECIALLY in a culture where cannibalism is not normal) will lead to prion disease is absolutely absurd. the likelihood of even encountering someone with a prion disease is wildly low, and even then, if the brain and spinal tissue are avoided, the disease most likely won't transmit between the consumer and the person being eaten.

ultimately, saying that cannibalism will give you a prion disease is as absurd as saying that going to the doctor for a blood transfusion is going to give you HIV. blood transfusion might be capable of spreading HIV, but in normal circumstances, this will not happen. there is nothing inherent to blood transfusion that causes HIV, just as there's nothing inherent to cannibalism that causes prion diseases. yes, cannibalism would most likely give you a prion disease; if you happened to live in a community that already regularly practiced cannibalism, where a prion disease was already running rampant. yes, cannibalism will give you a prion disease; if you happen to stumble into one of the one people per million who has one, fail to recognize a single symptom that might deter you, and then choose to eat brain or spinal tissue rather than meat.

once again, this isn't trying to be some weird edgy cannibalism joke, i just think it's important that people have an understanding of where diseases come from and how they spread. kudos if you read this whole tangent

[thegardenchronicles]

Astrology Observations 1

Disclaimer: All of these are only personal observations based on people I know in my life. It is not necessary for these to relate to you, they are mostly subjective. Also, the energy of all of the placements mentioned can change depending on their entire chart.

Please do not copy/plagiarize my work and do not repost without my permission.

💚 12th House placements/stellium are some of the most intuitive people I know and really have the ability to be psychic, but so many tend to be hesitant to tap into this side of themselves.

💚 Virgo moons are so organized and just hate disorder. Like they cannot think or function in chaos. Mess really stirs something up in their soul haha. You will also never find them looking crusty. Always neat and clean and tidy. May go for other virgo placements too, but I really feel like this may be enhanced in the moon.

💚 I really feel that Venus square Ascendant affects an individual no matter how tight the aspect is. I have seen so many with this placement who absolutely refuse to think that they are beautiful, and this thought actually occupies a lot of their mind. I really hope you guys see your true beauty one day. ❤️

💚 Why do I see so much about Venus in Aries being cheaters? What bs is that? Venus in Aries are some of the most charming, passionate and lovable people i know. They know their worth and I really admire their confidence. Yes they fall in love quickly, and tend to fall out of love quickly too, but they love so "wholly", like, completely, without suffocating others. They're amazing.

💚 This is common knowledge but Capricorn placements/Saturn dominants go through so much in their lives. They truly go through a lot of hard times. So many of my close friends are Capricorn placements and have been through so much, but they always come out so strong. They also never forget anyone who has wronged them. They're not really the active revenge type, they'll be successful leaving you wondering what happened.

💚 Sagittarius Risings are so funny, jovial and spontaneous. But a lot of people forget that they have Scorpio in their 12th house. What I've noticed is that they really don't like being by themselves, because they fear just being alone with their thoughts. They're really avoidant about their feelings. Go check up on your local Sagittarius rising.

💚 I absolutely love Pisces and Leo placements in a chart especially when they're both in personal placements. This energy is just so happy and caring and loyal. They really make everyone feel included.

💚 I've noticed that a lot of people attract the energies that they lack in their own chart. For example, I have a lot of fire and air in my chart, but almost no earth and water, yet my closest friends are water and earth placements. My mum has a lot of earth and fire in her chart, yet she attracts a lot of water placements. This may not resonate with everyone though.

💚 Capricorn and Aries in a chart makes someone a great leader. A risk taker, but makes calculated risks. But can also be super fun. Knows how to party.

💚 Sagittarius combined with Aquarius placements makes someone sooooo chill. They may also seem high? lmfao even when they're not. Especially if you add in some Pisces placements too. It takes a lot for them to get mad or angry. Also are down for anything. Skip school and drive to fucking Pasadena? They'll do it.

💚 Cancer and Capricorn placements are usually super close and sweet to their friends, but they're not the nicest to outsiders or people they don't know. I find this interesting because they're both opposite signs, but I think that's where they converge. The difference though is that Cancers tend to be, well, "crabby" to others while Capricorns are just cold to you in a subtle way, but still professional. Super sweet once you get to know them so don't judge a book by it's cover.

💚 I know a lot of people associate Scorpios with a dark aesthetic, but I really feel that they're "dark" only on the outside. Once you get to know them they're so cute and awkward hahah. I love them. Scorpio placements love being cuddled too but will never admit it. Go give your Scorpio friend a hug. (With consent of course.)

That's it for my first observations post! Sorry if it didn't resonate! Let me know what you think!

love, crystal 💮

GO TO MASTERLIST

picture sources: pinterest

1 2 3 4 5

[vinecine]

That's a man in the picture dressed up as a woman. If you don't know what "trans" mean then don't talk all big. Too many perverts and weirdo men use the trans community or whatever to wiggle their way into female spaces to commit crime. Many pedophiles have already been arested under the "trans" title. Many men identifying as trans (meaning they're fake trans) are being put in female prisons and there commit rape. IF you haven't heard about this or deny it then it's clear you're biased.

A lot of actual trans people have spoken about lgb drop the t, because being trans is not an identity, it's a mental disorder called gender dysphoria. "Lgb" stands for "lesbian, gay, bi" indicating that only 2genders exists. Being trans means you want to pass as either a man or a woman. Identifying as a dog or a cat is mental illness that should be treated as such and professional help should be sought instead of playing along and furthering a person down a hole they might not get out of. The "lgb" community want to drop the "t" because of you posers who think being trans is a cool identity and think there are trillions of genders. You make us lgb and real transexual people look bad and stupid.

And before you mention intersex people, educate yourself that the majority live as the gender they were "given" at birth and they're finw with that. Intersex people are not as many as the rest of the 2genders, it's relatively rare, that is the 2nd reason it's not seen as a third gender(bc it's not as common as the other 2genders).

And the whole thing is an agenda because you're pushing, brainwashing people with lies.

Neopronouns aren't real or a thing. They're made up by mentally ill people who hate and don't want to be themselves. And instead of taking care of their traumas and mental illnesses they live these stupidities. No sane person with eyes and ears will believe or give into your bullshit just to make you feel better about yourself. If this makes you sad or angry or whatever then you're not ready for the real world and reality. Trans women cannot give birth or menstruate because they're biological men and saying otherwise you're spitting in the faces of so many women. He/him and she/her are not made up pronouns, they're used since forever ago by people with common sense. If you use they/them then you normaly talk about someone you've never sen or heard of, meaning, don't know their gender, meaning, non-binary is not real or a thing. Also calling oneself "it" is just plain sad.

Even if you'd put a uterus in a man's body I don't think it would end well for the carrier's body and life. I can bet on money that the body would reject the organ. Also if the man would have a spontaneous abortion, how would he know? He's not going to bleed down there to know for sure. Pain? Pregnant women go through pain like tone pains and it can be either normal or threatening. So in conclusion a lot of men would die from something that they should have never been doing in the first place.

Real trans women will never go into women's spaces if they don't pass because they don't want to make women feel uncomfortable and bad. Those men who don't give two flying fucks are not trans but predators and mentally deranges individuals.

Bold of you to put homophobic words in my mouth, so I'm just gonna ignore that retarded statement. Going on, a lot of trans men in particular don't tell a man they date that they're trans and when they get "introduced" with the reaction seeing a dick on a "woman" they go make tiktoks how transphobic and wrong these straigth men are. It's almost like being straigth nowdays is a crime. Not everyone wants your dick, not everyone wants your pussy. Deal with it and move on and stop being an idiot. Attacksin these cases happen because your trying to trick or make a straigth person do things they don't want to ingage with which is, I'd say valid. If you don't want to be in a situation like this, be honest of what you are right from the beginning and you'll see how these attacks with fall in number. It's simple as that. If you purposely put yourself in these type of sexual situations just to be able to make stupid tiktoks about it after then you're the perpetrator in the end.

White racism is very real because random white people are being assaulted and murdered by others because, I don't know, to make a stupid point like "this is how we felt like in the history". Why would a white person who hasn't done anything wrong pay or be held accountable for something some white people in history did? How far back does your mentality live? Saying white racism doesn't exist is very racist. Every race in the past were enslaved. The very first slave owner in the US was a black man, just so you know. Idk in what kind of a magickal place you live in, but I live in a country where very minumum diversity exists and people here assume white people to be junkies, murderers and whatnot if they behave like it and give a vibe like such. So basically you're pulling these "facts" out of your ass. It's not right to assume all nation, race is [insert accusation] based on some or many individuals who do/are [insert accusation]. But recently many young kids are beaten up in schools by black people because they're white to the point of death.

I agree that there are many policemen out there who are shitty and not suitted for their jobs because they use their power for evil. But if you disobey a policeman..what else can you expect other than them using force. Policemen job, overall, is not easy and neither you or I know what they have to deal with or go through on daily basis. But the point is the if one black person get killed then they'll be all over the news and social media when so many whites are killed by black people, you won't hear anything because it doesn't fit a narrative for the media. I have so much proof of this, if you want I can always provide. All lives matter because a human life is precious and if you think the color of one's skin determines who is more valuable then you're the one who's super racist in the end.

It's not just the book so it's not one incident, it's also drag queens "reading" to kids (which is insane that a man dressed up as a woman who's job is doing sexual gestures/dances for money). Why not allow veterans and old people read to kids so they could earn some money? Why is everything sexual around kids? What kind of perversion is that? And these..people are put in kids' animation movies singing about drags which is sick. Kids shouldn't know anything about these things or what sexuality a teacher has or what they sleep with. But there's a golden saying for a reason "one life is too many" regardless of a situation.

I personally am not right or left because these weird "ideologies"(idek if that's the right word) don't work where I live. But if you support child abuse like transing minors then..what else can I say.

If you support all trans sisters then you say that you also support Maria Childers. I only support real trans people who are not huge in numbers and are not the wannabes and those who don't make a trend out of transness(like Aurora Bird does).

I don't remember stating that your, as a minor's, opinion isn't valid. There are a lot of flaws that you don't seem to see because your "facts" are based on feelings not science. I lived as a "trans person" for many years too till I grew out of it. And so many detransitioners nowdays do too but they have done such damage to themselves that they either off themselves or just..live on like that because what else option ia there. Gender dysphoria is a mental illness despite what the politicians and the false doctors, who use you as guinee pigs for their modern world Unit731 experiments, say. I know I'm using rough words, but there's no other way to explain it. It's all a huge medical experiment and money grab. Being trans is not an identity one can take on just like that. The whole point of being a transexual is to medically and surgicaly transition to appear as the opposite gender for yourself not the whole world. Ask any real trans person and they'll say the same. And I mean a real trans person like Buck Angel or Marcus Dibs or Scott Newgent or any other.

I want to add that calling biological people "cis" automatically puts a label on your forehead that you are not gonna be respected in the slightest. And no one cares about the stupid "history" of the word. If a person doesn't want to be called it, you don't call them that. Respect goes both ways, it's earned not demanded. So that's something for you to remember.

I already addressed intersex people.

Women who have hysterectomies have cancer, a life threatening situation, bro. So point invalid when it comes to this. Also women who cannot get pregnant have a medical condition therefor cannot get pregnant. It's not the same. I haven't heard of a situation of a woman being born without a womb. If you have proof, I'll gladly see it.

[aminiatureworld]

Opposites

Characters: Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 1,594

Warnings: Swearing

Premise: In which the reader is the brain and Xiao is the brawn

Author’s Note: I wasn’t sure what the general setting should be so I put it in a vaguely college/university setting. Prolly cause that’s around my age and also because I cordially dislike highschool AUs. Hopefully that works out alright!

I had to type out almost 2,000 words on my iphone. I never want to do that again.

Xiao

Honestly none of your friends are actually sure how you two got together.

After all, if someone were to take a picture of you and your partner side-by-side then show it to people not in the know, well the prevailing emotion would be something along the lines of: “Are they classmates or neighbors or something?”

To be fair, when the two of your first met even the idea that you would ever end up in love was something laughable. Having been pushed together for a project, your knee-jerk reaction had been: Oh I’m totally going to end up doing this all by myself.

Thankfully however you’d been quickly proven wrong. Although Xiao hadn’t necessarily been the best about planning and other such things, his work was organized and he always showed up to every meeting with his parts completed.

By the end of the project you never wanted to work with another person on a group project again.

And, to be completely honest, you’d definitely developed a crush on your slightly aloof group partner.

Xiao’s reaction was much harder to read.

At first he appeared to want nothing to do with you. Work was emailed to you with not so much as a subject line; meetups passed in awkward silence broken by tentative questions on your part. You’d sort of assumed that he saw you as annoying and the group work as useless - which to be fair it sort of was useless.

So when he emailed you a few weeks later asking for your number and if you wanted to do something, well, safe to say you almost fell out of your chair.

Though the start was a little awkward, Xiao’s conversational nature didn’t develop much in general, you two fell into a routine of sorts, a relationship of unspoken boundaries and spontaneous confidences.

During the first few weeks of you odd sort of relationship you’d come to the conclusion that, though not a talker, Xiao was ultimately quite apathetic in nature. Eventually however you realized apathetic wasn’t the right term.

Though he might’ve appeared sullen on the outside, Xiao never actually acted in a way that hinted at any resentment or irritation; he never dragged his feet about something or implied it was stupid that you should ask for help or for a favor.

His assertiveness, which might’ve been mistaken for aloofness, was endearing. Xiao never half-asses anything, even when if wasn’t doing something for another person, like you.

You appreciated this side of his personality, the fact that he was quick to act, admired if even. It certainly stood in stark contrast to your tendency to overthink things, something that could quickly end up kneecapping you depending on what decisions were being debated.

It was an alien concept to you, the sort of philosophy Xiao seemed to live by, and its novelty was refreshing.

As your thoughts slid more and more to focusing on Xiao you became more and more aware of the rumors that abounded about him.

He was a troubled youth, he was prone to fighting, he had been so uncontrollable in secondary school that only one teacher had been able to get him to do anything. The only times he spoke was to wound, and he never had a word to say that wasn’t angry.

Well, obviously that wasn’t the truth, but any attempt to clear up the situation was quickly met with odd stares and responses that all smacked of: “Oh you poor idiot, you just haven’t learned yet.”

You would’ve liked to think that you didn’t let it affect your relationship with him, but evidently the rumors had begun to catch up to you.

“Hey, you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Have I?” You shifted awkwardly in your seat. Xiao sighed, evidently aware of where this was going.

“It’s because of what people say about me, isn’t it?”

“Maybe.”

“I see.”

That had been the beginning and the end of the conversation for quite some time, almost as if Xiao had yet to decide whether or not you were one of the few in whom he could entrust the truth. Yet despite the rumors and the odd looks you still found yourself gravitating towards Xiao, and soon enough that initial pull turned into something much deeper.

The day that you two became “official” was the day Xiao told you the truth. He had been a delinquent as a teenager.

Born into a family full of troubles Xiao shouldered the circumstances as best he could.

However things cannot stay untouched forever; the distress that Xiao experienced only grew, the pressure ratcheting up with every incident, every item thrown to the ground, every fight that ended in humiliating pain.

Eventually it became too much, and when it did Xiao took his anger out not on his family, not on the people who had failed him, but on any classmate who antagonized the vulnerable child.

Fights became a regular part of Xiao’s life until university, and it was only in meeting his mentor, Zhongli, that the lost young man had managed to pull his life together.

Things made more sense after that, though one couldn’t say that everything was right with the world. Students, coworkers, the particularly idiotic TA, all of them still carried the sense that Xiao was not to be trusted. You could see how it upset your partner sometimes, when he was ignored at the coffeeshop or excluded from class group chars in the like.

Whenever he did that Xiao tended to retreat into himself, as if worried he might explode again. It took a lot of coaxing to get him out of such situations but it was always worth it to see your partner’s expression soften, to see his small smile once more.

What you didn’t tell him was that you were just as angry as he was, just as resentful at the people within your major which were hellbent on acting like they were still in high school.

Eventually however the trials of your early were utterly forgotten, the questions and the secrets replaced by a sense of slightly hilarious domestic bliss.

You were definitely the brains of the group, something Xiao didn’t seem to mind - though he probably would find that actual statement somewhat silly.

Xiao, on the other hand, held the esteemed position of Person Who Actually Got Stuff Done. You relied on him to get you out of your mental spirals, to pull you out of your room and out of your brain fog and to get you to do something; even if it wasn’t the thing you were thinking about.

In return it was your job to make sure Xiao didn’t get himself killed doing something stupid.

Xiao’s reticence masked an almost supernatural recklessness. Though your partner didn’t own a motorbike, if he had you were completely convinced he’d ride one without a helmet. His almost total disinterest in his own safety was something that you brain shrunk from, and more often than not a crazy plan of his would end with you listing the terrible things that might happen if something were to go wrong, even if those things weren’t always the most realistic.

There was a storm in twenty minutes? It was the perfect time for a walk! There was cavern nearby with tunnels were so tight you had to walk single file? Sure why not!

He would talk about such things as if there was nothing to it, as if it didn’t send your heart rate spiking. There wasn’t the slightest acknowledgment of danger. Even his tone was as gruff as usual, as if it was the most natural thing to want to go mountain climbing, not interesting enough to get even a little excited about.

It was probably good he did martial arts. You didn’t even want to think about where all that energy would go otherwise.

Xiao’s straightforward nature came out in softer ways too, ways that you envied much more than his full-steam-ahead recklessness.

He was never afraid to state what was on his mind. Whether it was correcting a waiter who got his order wrong or telling a rude doormats to fuck off, all these things were natural to him.

To be honest you completely envied that aspect of him, unable go replicate such a mindset in yourself.

When you’d commented on it once Xiao had stared oddly at you. After a moment he told you that he figured it came from his background. Sometimes you had to learn how to say “no” or “that’s wrong” or “you’re a shitty person.”

Just as you tried to curb the most extreme parts of Xiao’s recklessness, so too did Xiao work to bring you out of the spirals your mind went down sometimes, and so did he try to coax you out of the overthinking that kept you from asserting yourself in your life.

Saying you two were complete opposites wouldn’t really be accurate. You shared similar views, similar passions, similar opinions on what mattered. Yet it was true that, in some ways, you complemented one another. And when it came to those traits in which you differed, well you would like to think that your differences just made you stronger as a couple.

Maybe your friends couldn’t understand how you two got together, or why you were so deeply in love with the person you’d chosen to be your partner. But you didn’t care.

You loved Xiao with all your soul, and, at the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

[shurisneakers]

shut in [11]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, abuse

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: just to clarify, there are 14 chapters and an epilogue!! also you guys are so nice, thank you for letting me know what you think about this <333</p>

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The wait was taking a toll. It was clawing at you from the inside, and paired with the occasional flare your anxiety gave, everyday was like spending time in an hourglass that was steadily filling up. 

Sam helped; making sure the both of you ate after spending hours planning out and revising every detail, introducing you to the world when you spent too long indoors. 

The constant rap of your finger against the table and pen tucked behind your ear was the position you found yourself in more often than not. Different scenarios listed themselves on a sheet of paper so you could go through the process of elimination, sorting each loophole out with proper backup. 

Going to New York, 3rd floor of 32nd Street, only cash-

“I’m goin’ on a run.” Sam poked his head in from the doorway to the kitchen. “I’ll be back before Ransone calls.”

“What?” you mumble, not paying attention. You scratched out another implausible scenario, leaving you with many more to go. Everything had to be perfect.

“Going out. Be back soon,” he repeated. 

It still took a minute to register but you found yourself shaking your head once it did. “No, don’t.”

“Why?” he straightened up, no longer leaning on the wall. “Something wrong?”

“It’s not safe.” 

“I checked the cameras. No one’s out there,” he sounded confident but you couldn’t shake the feeling of skepticism around the situation that was beginning to return to you. “I’ll be careful.”

“You could be careful by not going.” You shouldn’t have to explain this to him. “It’s not safe.”

“Nothing’s changed yet-”

“They have.” You whip around to look at him. “Things are different now. We don’t know what’s out there.”

You both know that he had already been seen once. Who knew how many people were waiting forty feet away from the house? Risking his life for a jog was ridiculous.

“I can handle a 20 minute run,” he challenged. “I’m not even going that far.”

“You’re being reckless.” You could see the rebellious streak he had warned you of before making an entrance. Though you found his spontaneity endearing, the rashness that accompanied it you weren’t fond of.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It is, Sam,” you exclaimed. “We can’t fuck up the plan with you dying.”

He looks at you with his head tilted and annoyance on his face. A wave of tense silence washes over the both of you and only then do you realise it’s the closest thing you've had to an actual argument before.

“Is that really what this is about? The plan?” he questioned, arms crossed over his chest.

You hesitated.

“What else would it be about?” You know he saw it, the brief moment you took before you answered.

“I’m going for a run,” he said decisively. It stung more than it should have. “But I’m not going far. I’ll circle the house.”

That eased it, somewhat. You would prefer if he didn’t at all, but you were at peace with the compromise. A middle ground. 

You nodded, looking away from him. He left soon after, but seeing him run past the window every now and then made you feel better. 

Your mind replayed what he implied. You knew what he was saying, you weren’t completely dense. But you would never let emotions get in the way of work.

It had never worked out well for you before, not while you were still stuck with the organization. Like always, you could feel the familiar ache build in your chest, faces you prayed to forget flashing in your mind. 

You exhaled, forcing yourself to not relive it again. You were thinking an awful lot about it for someone who supposedly didn’t care about it.

Stupid Sam with his stupid cute face and stupid good heart. Fuck him.

____

“Y/N.”

“Ransone.” 

You nodded at Sam who was standing beside you with a glass of water in his hand, leaning his body weight on the table.

“Wilson there with you?”

“No, he isn’t.” Lying to him had become a habit by now, even though you were well acquainted with the consequences of doing so. “What’s the update?”

“We think we found them,” Ransone reported.

“Found who?”

“The people who shot at you.” 

Your body tensed.

“Who is it?” you asked slowly, peering at Sam through the corner of your eye.

“Serpentine,” he said coolly. Sam scoffed, taking a small walk in circles to calm himself down. “Trying to establish themselves at the top again. Went for one of you but we don’t know which, found both of ya instead. Killed Pierce then waited for you to show up.” 

Your eyebrows quirked up. You could see the muscles in Sam’s jaw tighten.

“How’d you find out?” You place your hand on his, urging him to calm down. He visibly softened, closing his eyes and letting out a silent exhale before nodding for you to continue.

“People talk. You know that Y/N,” Ransone sounded bitter.

“Not personally, no,” you mumbled. 

“Well, they do.” The way his tone shifted back to normal like the conversation you just shared didn’t happen almost gave you whiplash. “That’s all on our end. What’s happening there?”

“Nothing. No updates.”

“Y’know, I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet,” Ransone commented. “He tends to get… mouthy.”

“I don’t see him much,” you lied blatantly, ignoring the insult to Sam even though you wanted to retort. 

“That’s a good thing. Can’t have you getting attached now, can we?” 

You barely looked at Sam, only zeroed in on the fact that his thumb was absentmindedly tracing circles onto your skin while he paid attention to what Ransone was saying.

“I’m not.”

“I’m sure you’re getting sick of him,” Ransone chided, pushing this conversation far longer than you wanted him to. “After this I’ll make sure you never have to see him again, don’t worry.”

“Why?” Your eyebrows knitted together. You wondered if you responded too quickly.

“I’ll have him stationed somewhere else. Away from you at all times. Won’t have to interact with him again.” He was doing it again. Ruining any fucking form of a relationship you could have. “You can thank me later.”

“That won’t be necessary,” you bit back. He knew what he was doing. He was drawing it out of you.

“Well I thought you’d be more grateful consideri- oh,” he stopped abruptly. “Unless you’re already attached to him.”

You pulled your hand away from Sam who only looked concerned about where this conversation was heading. The sudden chill that took its place didn’t make you feel any better.

“Oh, Buttercup,” he laughed pitifully. “You know it would never work. Don’t you remember all the others?”

You didn’t say anything. Only folded your arms together and forced yourself not to go down the path he was trying to drag you to. If you hung up now he’d only take it as a confirmation. 

“You two shouldn’t have been friends in the first place. Your lives would have never intersected if this didn’t go wrong.” You hated how he was pointing out things you had overanalyzed time and time again. 

You hesitated for a second, forgetting the fact that you knew he was preying on you on purpose. 

Because these were thought you’d already had. Thoughts of whether you were growing on him only because you were stuck together. Of course if he was forced to co-inhabit a safehouse for this long with anyone he’d like them. 

And as much as you despised to even think it, Ransone was right. How would it even work once you got out? 

It couldn’t. 

And you wouldn’t let yourself even consider the possibility that it might because it was just wishful thinking at best. The line between friendship and something more were merging together so fast, you weren’t even sure they existed anymore. 

“He doesn’t care about you, Y/N. I’m sure he’s charmed his way into making you think you’re important to him, but you’re not,” he sounded sympathetic, almost like he was patronizing you. “You’re just his way out of there, honey.”

Sam opened his mouth, ready to launch into a tirade. You held up a finger to silence him, praying that he wouldn’t do something stupid. You couldn’t lose the only communication you had with Ransone over this.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way-” What a truckload of horseshit. 

“I’ll send you my location,” you broke in, words faltering. “Just have someone come get me.”

“If that’s what you want.” You could tell that he was barely hiding the joy he had gotten out of completely fucking with you.

“Don’t look for me directly. I’ll come to you. Just have someone ready to bring me back.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Sam. You had too much going through your head at the moment, things that had specifically to do with him.

“Are you sure? Someone can be at your doorstep within an hour, you know that.”

“I need time to sort some things out. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“As you wish.” You wanted to smack him.

“Bye,” you say shortly, trying to wrap it up.

“Y/N,” he cut in before you could end the conversation. You wait for him to continue, not saying a word. “I’m sorry you had to hear it from me. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

You roll your eyes and hang up, not letting him get another word in. The minute you got a second to breathe, everything he said began crawling its way back into your head. 

“What the hell was that?” Sam fumed.  

“I don’t know.” It was the truth.

“That wasn’t a part of the plan.” You want to tell him to calm down because you had never seen him this infuriated before. 

“I don’t know,” you repeated, feeling more drained by the second. You fucked up by talking to him for so long, you knew it. 

“That sick, abusive piece of shit,” he continued furiously, but you only looked down, tuning out his droning. 

It was fucking humiliating to think that you could have a normal life. It just wasn’t possible. You were in too deep. Staying here with Sam only confused you, made you long for things that weren’t attainable. 

“He’s right,” you utter quietly, effectively shutting him up.

He stared at you incredulously. “What?” 

“He’s right.” You pushed yourself away from where you’re leaning on the table.

“About what?” 

“You know what, Sam.” 

“No, I don’t,” he retorted, “He said a lot of shit so I’m going to need you to specify.” 

“I’m going to take a nap.” Your head was spinning; you didn't know how to tell him. “I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Don’t run away from this conversation,” he sounded annoyed, rightfully so. “Tell me what he’s right about so we can talk this out.”

“About this,” you relented, spinning around to look at him. “Us.”

“He was just trying to get into your head, Y/N, like he always does,” Sam exclaimed, letting his arms fall beside him.

“This could never work, Sam. We’re friends because we see each other every single day, constantly.” You gestured back and forth between the both of you. “What happens once we get out? When you’re not stuck with me twenty-four-seven?”

He knew what happens to people when they get too close within the organization; he had first hand experience with Riley. They never survived long enough to tell the story themselves. They were ripped away from you, time and time again. It was so tiring to start all over from the beginning, every single time and for nothing. 

You didn’t want it to happen again, not to him. You just wished he’d believe the other anxieties you deemed less important than this, and dropped the topic. Another death is not something you’d be able to handle. 

“We deserve a bit more credit than that, I think,” he said defensively, taking a step toward you. “If our relationship was built solely on proximity then it wouldn’t affect you this much. We’re beyond that.”

“Well, what if we’re not? What if we realise we only tolerated each other because we didn’t have a choice?” you fired back, crossing your arms. 

“Speak for yourself,” he huffed. “I would never let that dictate my choice.”

He sounded so confident, so assured that it wasn’t circumstantial. How could he be so sure?

“I don’t get you,” you whispered. “I can’t figure you out.”

“What don’t you get?” He looked like he was on the verge of pleading. He stopped right in front of you, a temporary barricade between you and the hallway. 

“Why you treat me the way you do.” 

He looks taken aback for a second. “Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you in any-”

“No,” you interrupt him, realising that it didn't sound the way you wanted it to. “Why you’re so… good. To me.”

He doesn’t say anything in return and you can’t even look at him, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

You had tried for so long to figure out what his motives were. Every time he did things that went beyond common courtesy, your gut would scream at you to find a hidden motive. No one was ever this nice to you unless they were put up to it. You’d had enough experience to realise this.

When you couldn’t find anything it only confused you more. You had shoved it away a while ago after he never displayed any other reason. You let yourself believe it for once.

But it was back; the incessant need to know everything. It was gnawing at you along with everything else because Ransone knew exactly what buttons to push. There had to be something. 

“Y/N,” he called out softly. You felt his hands on your shoulders, urging you to look at him. 

“It’s stupid,” you murmur, trying to ignore the fluttering in your heart. 

“It’s not. And I need you to look at me when I say this,” he says slowly, drawing your attention to his face. “I care about you. More than you think I do. You’re not some means to an end. He’s wrong and I need you to believe me on that.”

He waits for it to set in. You get why he wanted you to look at him now. There wasn’t an inkling of deceit in what he was saying. You had seen him lie, seen him try to bluff his way out of a petty situation. It wasn’t this. 

He cared about you because he wanted to. Not because he was forced to; whether it was because you lived together, or because of something else. 

There was so much more you wanted to ask him but nothing got past your throat. It was too heavy. You needed help.

There was barely any distance between the both of you. You could feel his breath, skin tingling from where he was holding you. 

You unconsciously move in, drifting towards the warmth he radiated. Your hands find a place on his sturdy chest, and you let his heartbeat tether you. 

His eyes close when you lean your forehead against his, forcing himself to control his breathing that was threatening to get away from him.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, forehead pressed against his, trying to make your peace with what he said. 

You want to kiss him, much stronger than the last time you had the same thought. Just to see what it’d be like. 

You instead pull away gently. Your hands still rest on his chest. You need time to figure out where your head's at.

“I trust you.” Is all you can say, not tearing your eyes away from him. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, letting it linger there for a second and you revel in the flips your stomach does. “I trust you.”

But for now, maybe you can be content with where you are.

Next part

[chasingpj]

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

pairing: leo valdez x gn reader

summary: five ways he says i love you through his actions

warnings: implied nudity and s*x, discusses food and eating and nothing else, i think. oh, and maybe some typos

category: headcanons

love letters/notes

leo is a busy boy

he's always picking up new projects so he can spend all day in his workshop or the forges with his siblings

when you guys live together, he leaves small notes on the refrigerator for you

they're always short, saying simple things like "i love you" and "i miss you already"

for the love letters, he'll leave them in random places for you to find

if you're a big reader, i can see him hiding it between the pages of your book

one day, you pick up your book to read, and the note falls on your lap

it's a love letter written on a piece of blueprint paper; there’s a little bit of oil smudged on the side of it

he got distracted while he was working on something because you were the only thing he could think about

his love letters never fail to make your heart flutter

sometimes they make you cry

he's quite sentimental

leo always tells you he does better writing down his feelings than he is saying it out loud because he can organize his thoughts better

you know that leo has a hard time with that because of how he grew up

when you guys have an argument, which isn't very often, he writes his feelings down on paper

he's always quick to apologize if he did something wrong, and the notes help him form the apology that you deserve, and you're quick to forgive him

once, you were super angry after an argument, so you locked yourself in your shared bedroom

you needed to calm yourself down

the both of you much too angry and stubborn to make a compromise

as your recollecting yourself, 40 minutes in, a folded piece of paper slips from under the door

the letter has teardrop stains, and the ink is slightly smudged

on the paper, it's all his thoughts written out in the best way he can explain them

after reading what he wrote, you quickly deemed that whatever you were fighting about was silly, and you guys made up

you love his spontaneous notes so much that you do them back

you guys have a game of who can find the most creative hiding spot for your notes

one time you found one tapped to the inside of the toilet cover

you found it hilarious

you throw folded post-its with messages in his tool belt

he finds them during the day while he's working on something

after you joined in on the fun, he scatters notes in random places, and every few days, you find a new message hidden somewhere randomly

they're just so sweet; there’s never a time where they don't make you smile

gifts

this is a given

it's not a leo headcanon if gift-giving isn't included

he would make you things like roses from scrap metal to literal furniture

if you have a lot of jewelry, he will make you a cute jewelry box

if you're a big book reader, he'll make you bookcases to support your book collection

he's always giving you little trinkets that he made with leftover materials from projects

he loves making things for you and gets upset when you decide to buy something from ikea instead of asking him

"babe, why would you buy that? I could have just made it for you!"

when he's on his way from returning on his quest, sometimes he'll find something that reminds him of you in a store, and he'll buy it

when he has the money for it, he'd buy you a star :(

says that he spent even more money to buy an extra bright star

because "you're the sun in my universe"

brb gonna cry

also, he'd gift you a bond bracelet

you know, those bracelets where every time you tap on it, it makes the other person's bracelet vibrate

the both of you get anxious when one of you goes on quests, so the bracelets bring the other person who's at home comfort

because when you tap back, at least he knows you're alive and vice versa

one of the best gifts you've ever received from him was your engagement ring

he made it himself

he took so much care and effort into making it

imagine leo forging your wedding ring himself??? i'm in spain with no s

he was so nervous that you wouldn't like the style, so he had piper casually bring it up to you

piper was so nonchalant about it that you didn't even think twice about the question

the ring has the prettiest gemstone or diamond (whatever you prefer)

you cried so hard when he told you he made it himself that you couldn't even say yes to his proposal clearly

he makes both of your wedding bands too

he carves a saying that's dear to the both of you on the inside

this is nothing to do with anything but imagine when you guys have kids, he makes animals out of pipe cleaners for them i'm gonna cry, brb pt 2

overall, whether he makes the present himself or not, he puts a lot of effort and care into it

every gift has a meaning and a place dear to your heart

cooking for you

leo is canoningly a good cook

he loves cooking for you

and you love eating what he makes

he's usually busy on the weekdays, so he cooks on the weekends

you guys always joke that he'd be the cutest househusband

you got him an apron for Christmas as a joke gift one year, and he wears it all the time

there's something so charming about him wearing an apron with a funny saying like "Mr. Good Lookin is Cookin" or with like a ripped out shirtless guy in front of it

you giggle every time you see him wearing it

oh, no matter how many times you've seen it, it's still so bizarre when he takes out hot trays from the oven with his BARE hands

everything he makes tastes amazing

he makes all kinds of food and is always trying something new

if you tell him what you’re craving, he’ll cook it for you

once he woke you up to ask if you wanted ribs… it was 3 am but like, of course, you wanted some

unless you're vegetarian or vegan, sorry, HAHA

often though, he does make Mexican food

it reminds him of when his mom was alive

he always has some story to share

every time he makes caldo de pollo (chicken soup), he always talks about how his mother would make it in the summer and that when he was little, he would always complain about eating hot soup in hot weather

you know he doesn't notice his constant telling of this story, but you don't mind

it's so bittersweet when he talks about his mom

through the cooking of his traditional food, you feel closer to him and his late mother

the memories he shares with you makes your eyes sting with tears

especially when leo says how much he wishes that esperanza could have met you

sorry, that was a little emo

also, leo usually wakes up earlier than you

he knows you're a sleepyhead, so he'll cook breakfast for you

so that when you're running around in the morning trying to get dressed and your things together

you never leave the house hungry because there's always a tupperware filled with breakfast, and if he has enough time, he'll fix you something to take for lunch too

if you come home late from work or school, he'll make dinner even if he's tired to surprise you

so many times you've come home from a shitty day at work or school, and the small table where you guys eat your meals is all set up with your favorite food

leo greets you by peeking his head into the hallway from the kitchen, tossed curls, cheerful brown eyes, and a bright grin

"I hope you're hungry," he says, despite knowing that you are hungry

and then you guys talk and laugh together over a delicious meal

compliments

leo's really observant

he notices when you’re in a bad mood, even if you try not to show it

he also notices when you change little things about your appearance

if you get a haircut or you get your nails done, he'll comment on it right away

especially outfits

if you buy something new, he'll complement it

imagine standing in front of the mirror, looking at yourself in your new outfit

leo comes behind you, his hands coming around your waist

he'll pepper kisses on your neck, a soft hum leaving his lips as he meets your eyes in the mirror

"is this new, mi amor?" he asks, hands running up your sides

once you affirm that it is a new dress or shirt, he'll smile and tell you how beautiful you look in it

maybe says he'd rather see it off of you wink wink

there's never a day where he doesn't compliment you

he thinks you're the prettiest person in the world

you've caught him staring at you lovingly plenty of times

he's just asking himself how did he manage to get someone as beautiful and amazing as you

you always squirm under his gaze and playfully ask what is he looking at

"you're so pretty, mi amor. I can't help it."

AHHH!!!!

alongside the endearment of mi amor, he'd always call you bonita and hermosa

you're so sweet to him, and he can't help but tell you how much you mean to him every chance he gets

surprises

leo is an acts of service kind of guy

i think he'll spontaneously do things to make you happy

if you've been busy studying for finals or just beat up from a day at work

he'll draw you a bath

or he'll cut up some fruit for you and leave it at your desk

he randomly buys you flowers

he never needs an occasion to buy your flowers

it'll be a regular tuesday, leo just happened to walk past a store with flowers displayed in the front, and he thought about how bright your smile would be if he showed up with a bouquet

I feel like he's pretty introverted, enjoys being at home with you

the both of you are pretty broke for a while, so a lot of dates were at home

leo made the most of it

you guys will have nice dinners at home

he'll set the table nicely, set the mood with candles

he'll redecorate the space so well you feel like you're at an actual restaurant

and of course, his food is amazing

breakfast in bed is another thing he'd do for you unsolicited

especially if you guys had a looong night wink wink

you're woken up by his still groggy voice, fluttering kisses on your cheeks

you open your eyes to see he's set a tray with your favorite breakfast on top of the bed

the two of you will eat breakfast together, which usually leads to you staying in bed for the rest of the day

just enjoying the warm cocoon your sheets create around the both of you

overall, he's super observant and caring, and he goes the extra mile to make sure you're happy because he knows you do the same

anyways, does anyone know where I can get a leo?

masterlists taglist: @nct127bee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @cartocns @Slytherclaw-kitten @idk-bye-no @percysbluehairbrush @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @drayshadow @ashookykooky

[yanderenightmare]

How would our yandere boys of BNHA react to their girlfriends telling them that they're pregnant?👀

yandere ! fluffy BNHA headcannons

TIP-JAR

goodiebag WARNING: heavy yandere-vibes, abduction, guilt, anxiety, profanity, drug mentions, Stockholm syndrome, pregnancy, implied DUBCON/NONCON

KATSUKI BAKUGO - KACHAN

Time to prepare for fucking Ragnarok. He’s writing lists, buying everything on the lists twice over, reading books on parenting and raising children and quirk development and everything and anything to satiate his gaining anxiety. He’s pushing his darling to do several different cardio exercises, either walking about inside the house with him or even letting her go outside for fresh air and sun, always assisted by him of course, putting aside his normal fear of her escaping as his newfound paranoia of the baby not being healthy threatens the foundations of his fragile composure. He hires a personal trainer to teach them what they’re supposed to be learning in baby class, if they could go outside. He’ll even be contemplating letting the media know as so to avoid hiccups later down the road. Testing his darling from time to time to see if she truly has come to terms with their arrangement, finding that he’ll probably never be satisfied, never feel comfortable enough to allow her back into the real world.

Other than that, he’ll be at his darling’s beck and call, so much so she doesn’t even have to ask for anything before he’s there with the exact thing she needs, even at times she doesn’t even know what she needs. And he’ll definitely be fidgeting when he’s not able to make her comfortable. Foot-rubs and messages are never ending, he’s cooking all the food from scratch with purely organic vegies and fruits and wheats and grains and strictly no candy or anything considered slightly unsafe for either her or the baby to consume, that also means no TV or screens of any kind. She’s never been allowed cigarettes or anything of the sorts, so that window has already been checked, but all alcohol is also stripped from the house now as well and of course those sleeping pills he would sometimes take advantage of when he had no other choice.

Katsuki is slightly freaking out on the inside, wanting to pull his hair out, pick at his scabs, bite his nails…. but, he’s keeping himself in check to support his darling. He’s adamant on the fact that nothing will go wrong with this pregnancy and he’ll soon have a little, squishy, bubbly, bundle of firecrackers running around the house. He can sense happiness just around the corner, but it’s a sharp turn, he’s afraid they might just skew off into some unknown territory where he has no chance of getting back on the road again.

DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA

Dabi is in full on freak-out, suddenly looking at his hands as though they are knives. How can he ever raise a child? Will the child be like him? Oh, how he hopes, prays, screams at whomever out there’s listening, that the child’s more like his darling than like him. That the child is feather-soft and pretty-eyed and has a heart of daisies and not made up of scars and callouses and bitterness like him. But… it’s really up to him what their child becomes. That’s his responsibility. His job to not allow the flames of childlike wonder to snuff out, his job to keep them alive.

What if they get hurt? What if his mishaps get them hurt? What if he hurts them? Besides… they cannot possibly live here, in this dump of a villain base. That’s no place to raise a child. A child needs friends, other children to play with. A child needs a garden, where they and their friends can play. A child needs to feel safe. A child needs to be able to look out a window at night and see the moon and stars and to see the sun wake up in the morning. A child needs to go to school. A child needs to run and bike and scrape their knees on the sidewalk only to come home and have their wounds cleaned and band-aided, only to go out and do it all over again. This is what a child needs to not end up like him.

He buys a house. A nice house, with a white picked-fence and a lawn and a cherry-tree where he hangs up a swing. His darling loves it, she spends most of her time out in the garden, in the sunlight, smiling, glowing. It feels nice. It feels harmonic. They have a kitchen now, but Dabi doesn’t know how to make any type of food sept for cup-noodles, but his darling is eager to teach him. She’s so sweet. She’s always been sweet and soft and too bright for the dusty room-complex he’d kept her locked up in for so long. But in this lighting, in this setting, in this life he’s finally decided upon, she looks like she belongs. He can’t say the same for himself. When he pictures the future, he sees his darling and their child out on that swing he put up, but he doesn’t see himself. He doesn’t deserve this, not when he’s so sure he’s going to have it all destroyed. His darling is a good but bittersweet reassurance, how she hugs him close, kisses him so softly he nearly forgets how many people the same hands wrapping around her small breakable body has killed.

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

Confusion. It’s strange but the whole affair leaves him feeling younger. Too young. The things he doesn’t know, the unprepared oblivious state leaving him at an utter loss. He’s just not ready for this, he’s unsure if he’ll ever be ready for this. He’s never pictured himself in the scenario. Never once humoring the idea, but now that it’s being shoved at him whether he wants it or not, he has to simply accept it. He barely knows up from down as time passes. Leaving him stating the obvious to thoroughly grasp the situation without letting it slip. His darling is pregnant. He’s going to be a father. A father. Dad. The word barely making sense to him as he rolls it around on his tongue.

He’s having a kid… half the time he still feels like a kid himself. Throwing fits, playing games, eating trash. But… maybe that can be a good thing. Maybe his fits will subside in the fresh light of an infant’s earth-shattering cries and wails and screams, his infant, his child. Maybe it’ll be good for him to finally learn a few things, maybe he’ll grow up just a little bit. But only a little, playing games is something he can do with a kid. Besides, kids eat trash too. He doesn’t have to give up everything, or… at least not forever. How long does it take before kids become mobile enough to hold a controller?

It’s going to be somewhat of an adventure. It’ll be somewhat pioneering in a sense. Not in the way of planning a new attack or kidnapping or planning someone’s death, but planning someone’s life instead. He’s created life as opposed to what he always does with those hands of his. He’s created life, he’ll have to take care of a life, care for a life, send that life into the world so that it’s not just alive but living. It’s humbling in the same way it’s glorified. So much responsibility. Life suddenly feels longer, eventful, important, dutiful and not just his playground, not just his blood-field, not just something to watch burn, but something to better.

SHINSO HITOSHI

Oh no. A baby? He’s not prepared for this. He’s so used to things being avoidable, or delayable at the least, this isn’t avoidable, this is happening whether he wants it or not, sooner than he can control. That stresses him out more than anything, the state of not having any control over the situation, leaving him frustrated, sporadic, afraid. He suddenly knows nothing about anything, his mouth is constantly dry, and he finds himself thinking of how strange and heavy the weight of his tongue feels to distract himself from the mess he’s created. And the only reason to it being a mess is because he has no idea how to protect everything from breaking into shambles. That’s more or less what breaks him the most, knowing how he’s most likely the one to ruin everything, that failure will probably be his fault.

He manages to calm down somewhat. His darling, in all her natural maternal feline instincts knows more or less what to do and how to do it, not really needing Hitoshi to provide her with anything on his own but what she tells him to do. And, despite needing to constantly hold the reigns, Hitoshi’s surprisingly glad or relieved more than anything, that his darling took the wheel so effortlessly. God knows he had no clue what to do. But, he has questions; bundles and mountains of inhuman questions. How many kids do Neko’s usually produce, when normal kitty litters sum up to nine kittens? Can he take care of nine kittens?! His darling doesn’t have nine nipples so he guesses that doesn’t make much biological sense. What else: how will a mini version of him look like? What more: what will a mini version of him with a cat’s features look like? Lastly: how does he feel about that?

He’ll help in the ways he still knows how. Cleaning makes up for most of it, since food has never been his specialty and now that food is significantly more important, he lets his darling control that too. Messaging and petting and cuddles making up for the rest of his helpfulness, which often gets frustrating for the both of them, given that they’re used to a certain spontaneous erotic lifestyle that now is out of reach.

TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS

Satisfaction. Finally, his little songbird needs him. Soon she’ll barely be able to walk on her own, she’ll need him for everything, be completely dependent on him, no longer in position to afford scowling at him or barking or biting or scratching or screaming. Knowing how something very soon will take her place in those extremities, and how they both will be exhausted and on the same side for once. He’s got it all figured out, he’s going to take a couple years off, to stay on with birdie number one and birdie number two. The days will be short but buzzing, between breakfast and collapsing into bed with his darling once the hours run to a close, waking up to screams that seem so welcoming and not at all like the onset of death as other parents make it out to be.

He can see it all so clearly. Soft-tinted days of baby-food and building-blocks and flying lessons, their baby with either his inherited crimson wings or his darling’s coat of pearl-white angel-feathers, perhaps a mix of both, how their little angel will fly from his arms to his darling’s arms, falling at times, but learning and prospering, becoming the embodiment of greatness. He can’t help but wonder how beautiful their child will become, being the product of himself and his darling, they’ll probably look godsend or like an actual god on earth. Wondering if they’ll have golden hair and golden eyes like him or satin hair and doe-eyes like his darling, how a mix of the two of them could be called perfection itself.

But, first things first. He doesn’t have time to humor his daydreams too much, never mind how tempting when they’re so close he can almost taste them. His darling needs him more than whatever imagines he conjures up. His instincts kick in, yet his humanity has last say in most of the decisions he has to make. The nest not being made up of sticks and mud like he was gravitating towards, but of pillows and blankets and plushies. Food not being made up of worms and insects but human cooking instead. Other than that he’ll stay in bed with his darling, stroking her feathers and feel her relax and stretch each time he hits a particular soft spot, listening to that special type of moan he’ll argue is the softest sound in the world.

MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

It’s cute of her to think its big news. It’s cute to watch her walk around pondering, wondering what’s wrong with her. Why her breasts are larger, sensitive, tender. Mistaking her morning sickness, rushing to the bathroom gulping, for being under the weather. Silly little thing, even more so with her pregnancy brain, walking around all cute and clueless. He enjoys the show, strokes her hair in a petting fashion, smirk irked in the corner of his lips and though it was small it spoke volumes, but what surprised her even more wasn’t the condescension she was met with but how relieved she felt upon understanding he had everything under control, something she used to hate, now feeling like a blessing, knowing how she was in… not exactly good hands… but something like it, something more capable than hers.

He is so prepared it borders on ridicules. It’s strange, for as long as she’s known him he’s always been so sure of himself, but now, glimpses from his youth shine through his composure of self-confidence. He’s nervous. The old rebellious her would poke fun at him, but she evolved, she’s survived, and she knows better. Besides, if he falls apart, what’s then left for her to do but follow suite? The new her comforts him with what she knows is true, having learnt that he doesn’t appreciate lies either. She tells him that he’s far away from his own father, because she knows that he will never leave her, soon to be them, as she stroked his unruly hair, kissed his forehead, squeezed his hand, smiled, told him that she loved him. And again, he knew before her that she meant it, she’d understand some time later that her dependence and his guidance created perfect symbiosis, equaled love, just like he had predicted.

The baby is the last of the puzzle-pieces, everything finally falling into place. She’s able to see him as more than something to fear like god, but as something human, as he rocks their baby in those massive scarred arms of his, his smile not nearly as unsettling as she once found it, but warm. And Izuku will finally see his darling as more than something to protect and to keep, something more than to love, as she bounces their child on her knee, that glow she used to have returning, he’ll not just see something to take, but something he already owns, as though some fog has lifted, he’ll feel proud, he’ll feel respect, he’ll feel happy, and he can say that it was all worth it and she can say that she forgives him.

CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL

Kai seems unfazed. It’s a lot to wrap one’s head around. He treats it awfully alike one would handle a business deal. Weighing the pros and cons and benefits and payments. Bringing a life into the world, a life that’s partly your own and partly the one you love. Does it mean he will love their spawn just as much as he loves his darling, that seems hard to believe. Does it mean he has to, that he’s expected to? Will his darling love the baby more than him? He heard that the love found between mothers and their children is insurmountable. Will he have to separate them to get the attention he needs? Will that make her hate him again? Will she perhaps love him more, now that the product of their love has come to fruition?

There are so many variables, so much to consider, and so painfully little time to get it all sorted out. He’s exhausted and on the border of grossed out. Between morning sickness and unpredictable mood-swings. He heard pregnant ladies are supposed to glow, he doesn’t see it. Don’t get him wrong, he thinks his darling is beautiful, but… she’s huge. He thought she was clumsy before, but damage was at a minimum when she was practically half his size, now she’s like a walking wreaking-ball. He can’t imagine how she will ever be able to… deliver something that seems to be taking half of the space inside her. He’s actually feeling anxious about the whole ordeal, trying to suffice his growing fears in a search for pregnant-aiding quirks.

And don’t get him started on the pregnancy brain. It’s not just her limbs that are everywhere at once, her brain is scattered like the aftermath of a shotgun, she barely pays him any mind anymore. All those hours spent teaching her proper manners, seems wasted and forgotten now, seeing how she eats like some animal then falls asleep, snoring with no thanks to spare him. He feels neglected to say the least and he can’t help but dread the time the baby actually comes around, knowing how the event will grant him no more attention than what he’s given now, probably robbing him of even more time with his precious darling.

TODOROKI SHOTO

He’s not leaving his darling’s side for a second. She’s holding his baby, possible babies, carrying them inside her belly, keeping them safe, so of course he needs to keep her safe too. Safe and comfortable and loved. He holds off on the unorthodox play until after the birth and probably sometime past it as well, no punishments than can cause stress, no fun and games and edge-play, nothing but soft touches, nothing but pillows and blankets and rosehip baths and soppy romantic films, cuddling, messages, words that are too sweet it almost becomes lifedraining. He’ll be so doting, so feather-light, she’ll nearly beg for him to give her just one measly frostbite burn, just one scorch-mark, but he won’t answer her prayers. They will be doing nothing that can cause duress, nothing at all.

He's in such mission-mode. More so than when he’s actually on a mission. This happening, this great chapter in their lives, this beginning of new life, seems so severely more important than anything else the world has to offer, nothing can distract him, no grade A villains, no threats to the world, no matter how much a friend or family member might need him, this pregnancy is paramount. He’s not going to put anything before his darling or their little bundle of joy happily coming to life inside her, blooming with potential. He’s not going to mess everything up like his father did, he’s adamant on not letting that happen. He’s going to be good. Everything’s going to be good. Happy. Perfect.

The only other thing he does, next to doting on his darling, is thinking and humoring what type of father he’s going to be, what type of father he should be, what type of father he has to be. Should he be strict, pushing his child to achieve greatness, milking their potential until they drain? Should he be liberal, letting his child run their own show, chase their own dreams no matter how wrong a path it seems? What did he want as a child?... Love. He wanted love. He wanted to be listened to, to be heard, to be helped. He wanted a friend, not just a teacher. He wanted to feel safe. He knows what type of father he wants to be, but… he knows it won’t be easy, it’s not meant to be easy, but he’s not one to back away from a challenge.

TIP-JAR

[saturnrevolution]

signs on houses cusps

ARIES

*note that any planets in these houses can affect the energies

1st house in Aries/rising 🐏

Aries is the traditional sign of the first house, so having Aries rising is a straightforward energy and it will be expressed easily here. You are someone that views the world just the way it is, with the good and the bad and you embrace this idea and work through it. People see you as a joyful presence that helps remind them of how important it is to enjoy everyday and not take it so seriously at all times. You might be expansive when you first meet someone and funny. Physically, you look youthful and you are full of energy. Jumping head first into anything that you do is your way of approaching projects or situations and this can sometimes give you a spontaneous, an action oriented personality and make you feel misunderstood by those that are more cautious and calculated. Relying on your instincts first is something you believe a lot in and any physical activity might help you to externalize the anger that you might have accumulated along the way. 

2nd house in Aries 🐏

The second house is the house of Taurus traditionally and having it in Aires might make the person impatient of the slow-moving second house energy. You are someone that is very driven by the idea of becoming independent financially to the point that you want to skip some steps in order to get where you wish. This is the reason why sometimes you might make hasty financial decisions and have the need to move around a lot. Learning how to be patient and understand that slowing down will help you achieve your goals faster is something you deal with. At the same time, learning from your mistakes is something you are not afraid of and your self worth is quite strong. You should not be afraid of showing who you really are due to the fear of coming off too strong. You might sometimes be aggressive and stubborn about the things that you own or believe in, but you are quite good with getting your way and achieving your goals at the end of the day.  

3rd house in Aries 🐏

The third house is in Gemini traditionally and having it in Aires means that self expression to you is a way to use up your energy. You are the type of person that needs communication in order to feel motivated. It can happen at times that your mind goes wild and that’s when you words can come off as harsh and direct, because you are not used to filtering the information before putting it out. However, balancing your freedom of speech with a diplomatic way of communication will get you far. Short trips help you manage your anger, as well as writing your thoughts. Whenever you feel like you need to communicate your anger, slow down first and try to understand the situation and then speak your mind about it, you can get quite stubborn in your ideas which will come in handy only as long as it’s used in a creative, productive matter. It’s mostly probable that you were quite social while growing up or in school and you carry this child-like way of communicating your emotions throughout your life. 

4th house in Aries 🐏

When you have Aries in the house of family and home, which is the house of Cancer, it can sometimes be overwhelming. You grew up in a family or setting that gave you the freedom to be the kid that you wanted to be, but at the same time you might have dealt with conflicts in your home life. Maybe the way you communicate with your family or the way you are when no one is watching is very expansive and reckless and being at home gives you energy and helps you feel youthful. Also, it might be that humor is an important part of your relationship with your family or with the people that know you best. At the same time, it might be harder for you to express your emotions towards your family and you’d rather show them your love through making them smile or have a good laugh or do something nice together. You’re the type of person to dance in your room when no one is watching and find coziness in disorder sometimes, as well as having a lot of energy when you’re around the people you care about. 

5th house in Aries 🐏

The fifth house is the house of Leo, so having Aries here can be a bit clashing, but it’s still a good combination. You are someone that’s driven by the idea of doing fun things - going out, meeting people, spending your time on any creative hobby or anything that helps you enjoy yourself. Paradoxically, you might sometimes feel as if these areas are also the ones that bring up most conflict in your life. Maybe you are the type of person that stands up for their hobbies a lot and you can get too fixated on an idea you have that can cause arguments or maybe you find out that dating brings out clashes in your life. Having fun is great, but sometimes assessing your decisions rather than jumping head first into them just because it’s fun would help you be more grounded and will prevent regrets. Be more gentle with the ones you love and practice active listening if you feel like that’s something that you should work on. You get an energy boost from any creative project as well. If you ever have kids, they will likely be as spontaneous as you are.  

6th house in Aries 🐏

The sixth house is the house of Virgo, so having Aries here can either be challenging or motivating, depending on how you use the energy. It’s likely that you are quite driven by the idea of having a stable routine, but somehow it happens that it’s difficult for you to stay organized. You are the type of person that likes going with the flow and most probably physical movement helps you eliminate any type of stuck energy or anger that you accumulate in you. You are have a lot of energy, especially when at home and need constant stimulation in order to get yourself tired. Finding your own way of organizing yourself is crucial here, so do not try to plan things if that doesn’t work for you and rather do things at your own pace, which is quick. Attention to details might be something you struggle with and you have to be careful not to mistakenly hurt yourself or get any injuries due to your rushing nature. If you were looking for a sign to get a pet, this is is, as it would brighten up your routine. 

7th house in Aries 🐏

The seventh house is standardly in Libra, which is the opposite sign of Aries so having Aries here can be a challenging placement. It’s likely that the close relationships you have with others and more specifically your romantic relationships bring out the angry side of you. Maybe you are not the person to get angry, but somehow in a relationship you do. In order to make this placement flow you need to accept this part of yourself and recognize how in your love life you need someone that you can be goofy around and do a lot of crazy things together and maybe someone that helps you get that careless side of yourself into the world in order to take off some of the pressure you tend to put on yourself at times. When it comes to people you are close with, you tend to be really outspoken and independent and a bit more different than how you show up to the rest of the world, where you feel like you are trying to be something you are not at times. Implement this 7th house careless energy in the way you view the world as well and you will find a much needed balance.   

8th house in Aries 🐏

The eight house is naturally in Scorpio, so having Aries here makes this house be expressed in a different way. It’s possible that whenever you get closer to someone, they start seeing your childish side, your wild side, your careless and sometimes impulsive self. You are driven by the darker things in life, no matter what that means for you. You might find yourself being into crime tv shows or the occult or any spiritual activity and feel very passionate about these subjects. One downside of this placement is that you tend to want to do everything by yourself and not let your partner or business partner or project partner to help you, you should let down your guard when it comes to this. Also, anger is something you know how to express, but it might come all of a sudden and out of nowhere, just because you kept it inside for too long without even realizing and then it just bursts.  

9th house in Aries 🐏

The night house is the house of Sagittarius originally, so having Aries here can create a positive blend. You are someone that’s driven by the idea of learning and expanding your mind. However, you might find yourself getting bored with it quite easily and you constantly need new information coming to you in order to keep your attention. Travelling and meeting other cultures gives you energy and makes you feel alive. You might be someone that shares their opinions and views on life wholeheartedly. Thinking about the big questions of life make you happy and you always feel like you are on a quest to find the truth. You are quite independent as well and you feel like you are most independent when travelling abroad or living abroad. If you haven’t done this step yet, any cultural experience of this sort or any learning experience such as academia or learning a new language will give you a great sense of freedom.   

10th house in Aries 🐏

The tenth house is usually the house of Capricorn, so having Aries here can give you some trouble. You are someone that is driven by the idea of having a successful career and working towards it, as well as someone that knows how to independently get where they wish. However, you feel like you want to reach your goals without actually doing the work and you might be restless when it comes to your career and get bored easily. Being more calculated will help you a lot with being on track and closer to your goals than acting without a plan sometimes. People likely see you as a free spirited person, a youthful soul that knows how to enjoy life, but can sometimes get stubborn in their ways of doing things and therefore get into conflict, especially at work. If you find a way to balance things, it’s most likely that you will have a leadership position later on or at least inspire some people with your crazy journey. 

11th house in Aries 🐏

The eleventh house is usually the house of Aquarius, so having Aries here is an energy that works for you. You feel very energized from your friendships and especially from settings when you are part of a community or a group of people and you enjoy standing out through your actions here. It’s possible that your friendships are the place you go to in order to let loose and go wild and you are quite impulsive when with your friends. The downside of this placement can be that you might sometimes snap at your friends group for no reason and that can be seen as ‘too much’. Trying to find a balance between being independent and being empathic with your surrounding group is something you learn in time. You might have a tendency to be impatient about the future and want to skip steps with this placement. Your child-like personality shows off in your friends group and that really inspires a lot of people to be more of a free spirit like you, you might be quite good at leading the way in a group and have a leadership personality. 

12th house in Aries 🐏

The twelfth house is usually the house of Pisces, so having Aries here can make its traits be a bit foreign to you and confusing. Sometimes it’s hard for you to see your childish side and to let loose. These traits are there, but they can sometimes be hidden in your subconscious. You can tap into this side of yourself through dreams, meditation or any other form of escaping, such as drinking wine with your friends on a Friday night. It’s possible that people might get angry with you for no reason or the people might not show you their anger. This trait can mirror some anger issues you might be dealing with. Working on expressing your anger can help you see it in other people. You might be the hyper energic person when drunk , but in everyday life it can be a bit hard for you to find your motivation and drive to work towards your goals. Check where mars is in your chart in order to see in which area of your life you can tap into this Aries energy more.