#just add things until it feels right
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Made a potion (cold brew coffee) and all the articles were like "you'll need twice as much grounds" but they were lying this stuff is strong enough to burn down the house
#they also said to use coarse ground beans which i didn't have so i just used the normal ones#i guess i can always add water to it but even the recipes that were for making the coffee not just the concentrate#were like you will need more beans#anyway. going back to measuring with my heart#no one needs specific measurements#just add things until it feels right
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.
#kazoo noises#charles leclerc#cl16#monaco gp 2024#zoomies posting#sports posting#like man. where to begin. one of your racecar children is back in town for the weekend. he has yet to have a truly good work#weekend it seems in town. now this year. we're feeling ourselves a bit. we're feeling optimistic even. and then ur son becomes talk of town#because he keeps doing fucking bits on twitter about adopting his coworker who is friends with your youngest son. this goes on long enough#for actual reporters to comment on it. no one is willing to blink first so by friday night we've yes-anded ourselves to a grandson#(congratulations mme leclerc)#things go well. and then at qualifying they go DAMN WELL#BETTER THAN EVER REALLY! but man. im superstitious. i dont trust shit until its over and the dust has cleared#(the adoption jokes have continued by the way) and MEANWHILE everyone is eyeing that starting grid. were humming. we're making vague hand#gestures when commenting. we're all thinking. Maybe? (the streets can hear u tho. keep it down)#race starts. lap one CHAOS. so many fucking crashes. i'd faint if i had a child even in karting honestly.#(every parent in this sport deserves a prescription for laudanum)#but he's not in it. hes at the front. and he. well. he just Stays There. Through It All. and the laps tick down. until the race is run. and#there he is. your middlest son. cross the line and into the books. first place. home town. what curse indeed. thats your boy!!!!!!!! THERE!#they play the radio of him winning and the audio is peaked because he screams out so loudly. you can hear the water in the laughter.#later theres gonna be videos and photos taken of him pushing his boss into the harbor and diving right in after the man. those photos are#gonna be fucking studied in photography classes one day. and STILL! everyone involved with that goofy joke about him adopting his coworker#(who. despite all the silliness of the race stayed second place and got a podium) is still carrying the bit like a baton relay. Do you have#him over for family dinner? might as well add a plate i guess! people are joking about your youngest son having two nephews? a dog born#maybe a month ago and a man born about... what twenty three years and about a month ago? fuck it! family dinner#sorry this bit got away from me but as someone who loves my homecity and my mom so much it might actually be like.#a visible growth inside my body if they do an autopsy on me at time of death or like. my love will eat me alive. sometimes the charratives#gets to me#anyway cheers mme leclerc i hope you party so fucking hard this week
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shoutout to my therapist for now ending sessions with "We out here sinning! We out here suffering!" as a weirdly hopeful affirmation for me
#'We walk by faith and not by sight' is OUT#'We out here sinning and suffering' is IN#His whole thing is suffering sucks bootyass so we gotta learn how to tolerate it#You can express how much suffering sucks bootyass#and eventually you feel better. the sucking ass eventually runs out#you just gotta tolerate it in the least dangerous way you can#ideally it's have a cry and take care of yourself and rest up and so on and so forth#if it's self harm and drugs then so be it cause harm reduction#you probably aren't gonna focus on not smoking cigarettes if you're homeless and hungry#cause cigarettes make you feel less hungry and agitated#so once you get housing then we can worry about the smoking#you're probably not gonna stop self harming while in an abusive household so let's work on tolerating that while finding a way to get out#Once youre out and safe we can focus on moving from self harm to self care#ya know?#he says it's a tool. it's not the most handy tool but it is A Tool in your toolbox#you wanna add tools to your toolbox so you have more options. having no tools at all is the worst outcome#a broken hammer is better than no hammer when you need to deal with a nail right?#anyways that's it I just love my therapist I was homeless for like 2 months but I'm housed now so it's all good#he constantly reminds me of this concept but even more so until I got my temporary dorm#anyways again fuck Jesus I just moved into this dorm and I already might have to evacuate for Milton#you'll make my uncle a prophet but can't save my new mini fridge from a flood for me? fuck off dude#ex christian#religious trauma
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.
#pet death tw#death mention#let me know if I need any other tags#I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods#since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name#and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt#res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank#account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc.#and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol#I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can#It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy#decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe#pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him.#anyway#of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh...#more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter#vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else#you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T#Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I#noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly)#but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely#not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc.#ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without#taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc.#cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Using this as an audio reference for the posts I'm making, but to summarize:
Yuri starts out mad.
Yuri tries to calm himself down with a deep breath to ask for details instead of going through it angry.
Flynn doesn't say "like a good knight" in the sense of putting himself down. He simply says "as a knight" (the tl here doesn't use that, but with that included it's basically along the lines of "even though I had doubts, as a knight, I was determined to follow my orders").
Once Yuri has answers he calms down significantly.
Yuri uses " 'ttaku", which is a shortened down version of "mattaku" (Yuri often shortens words and speaks very casually), which in this particular situation basically would mean "geez", or "good grief". In this manner, it's expressive of exasperation/frustration/etc.
Yuri never mentions that "Flynn told him what to do" like the dub does (because in fact Flynn did not ever tell Yuri what to do. He only gave Sodia and his other knights orders. He expressed his own desire to take responsibility, but never told Yuri and his friends what to do).
At this point you can tell the anger has gone out of him and that he's calmed down, now that Flynn is approaching this with admission and responsibility.
Sodia is asking that Flynn returns as soon as possible (I believe this was a general translation error).
Flynn's thank you to Yuri is tonally much more heartfelt.
Yuri's response and gratefulness at Flynn coming back to himself is tonally much more heartfelt, relieved and sincere.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#basically the dub version is littered with errors /and/ your regular resident angry dub Yuri#just to be clear on mattaku it can also mean ''completely'' ''totally'' ''seriously'' etc. it depends on the context#''yare yare'' is also used for ''geez'' and ''good grief'' but in a more sarcastic/casual way#''mattaku'' or in this case '' 'ttaku'' is more of a quiet expression of exasperation rather than smth you'd yell/shout when aggravated#it CAN sometimes be used like damn as a minor expletive but tbh I personally I wouldn't put it in this situation#bc his aggravation is lessening and they're getting to the point so I'd argue it's more just exhausted of the whole thing#but the dub took it a step further and used it as fuel against Flynn as they do mcfuckin' do#I'd say it's more ''damn it'' at the whole situation bc there's absolutely no reason at this point to say ''damn it Flynn''#esp bc that led into the dub having Yuri go at him accusing him of telling them what to do when he... literally did not#and did not even imply he was going to. it was just pulled from their asses and/bc Yuri never even said Flynn's name there#it's stuff like this where they add remove and change things always in stark opposite of Flynn's favor that riles me up :/#what I mean is that the dub changed Yuri's overall exasperation into smth accusatory when rly Yuri is like#stop trying to do this by yourself. it was never about oh woe is me how dare you tell us what to do#if he was directing a ''damn it'' at Flynn it STILL would not be bc ''he told them what to do''#it would STILL BE because Flynn was trying to take this responsibility fully onto himself#it's so irritating bc the dub will be spot on right on point with everything but then AS SOON as it's abt Flynn it's like#they start messing around with things and the tl is changed and yadda yadda until around late arc 2#it like lowkey comes across as enemy to ally instead of ally with a whole character arc#and the reason I legit feel like they did it on purpose is BECAUSE they can obviously tl correctly based on other areas of the game#but when Flynn is involved they tweak things if not just outright change the context (remember my Nordopolica post? yeahhhh)#how is that not on purpose? how is it that everything can be spot on for a chunk all at once#but then a certain char shows up and it's repeatedly inaccurate? repeatedly geared in a negative light that originally didn't even EXIST?#and then ofc they almost always use Yuri himself to reflect that negativity against Flynn which is a WHOLE other story/issue for me#it's like... say I wrote a neutral statement. someone comes along and tls with negative sounding additions. it's sort of like that#I'm not that good at explaining things/how I feel abt things but yeah I hope that makes sense#it's just like... I KNOW they can tl spot on so when I keep seeing them stick in all these things with/against Flynn it upsets me sm#it feels like they tl normally and then see Flynn and go oh hold on let's change that bc it's Flynn#and that's why it's so frustrating for me :/
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing I thought was missing from canon sk8 was the mine being haunted apparently. so we are bringing that into burnished house for absolutely no fucking reason
#sk8 the infinity#burnished house#(I am jokeing there is. in fact. a reason)#(you will not learn this until the divorce comes up)#(well the preliminary reason is I fucking love ghost stories and want to put them in everything)#(and that reki is afraid of scary things which makes him my favourite kind of victim. younger sibling coded for that only)#Im actually having a lot of fun alternating povs between reki and langa bc Ive like. accidentally grounded langa's in#very clear and present bodily sensations. straight up uncomplicated observations about materials in the world around him#while reki's gets all the hyperboles and pretty poetic stuff. I enjoy the idea of him being good at storytelling#ESPECIALLY bc him taking words to heart including scary stories. big deal to me ok?#love to write langa and going from things that clearly are present right there in the scene to the most insane thoughts a man can have#and then write reki and jump wildly between dork ass energetic shounen character speech and romanticizing the fuck out of concrete#weird thing to say after writing three fics of like 20K+ words in total about them granted lmao#but like. listen. I feel like burnished house is me going apeshit so far. this is truly my time to be the worst ever#same approach as I took with [REDACTED]. oh you think this is bad? just wait#I have already added TWO old people ghosts into this one. be in awe of my power#well. be in awe of it when I finish this chapter... I need to sleep rn dksdfhdskj#have a good nite lads. I cant wait to get to that one spot in this chapter where I go yess... YESS!!!! HAHAHA YESSSS#wish u the same for ur art endeavour. if ur art endeavour doesnt have something like that u should add it. my message to da world
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've seen yaevinn in therapy once and i need to see it again. go on king tell him about how despite the fact that your longing for connection has been fulfilled tenfold you still feel painfully alone for reasons you don't understand other than feeling like something is Inherently Wrong with you. tell him about how you thought you knew what love was until you met nithral and now it's this beautiful terrifying thing that you don't know what to do with because you're a little scared of how it can come out because of that one time you blew up at him as you were about to face death. tell him about the immense shame and fear you feel around openly expressing anger, which is why you try to apologize when you swear—because it comes off as angry. tell him about how it all intertwines with itself and feels confusing and frightening and yet you know you can't give it up. tell him about the colors thing, about how all of your emotions and expression thereof bring color to your life and you wouldn't give them up for anything but some of them are so bright and loud that it's overwhelming and you wish you could turn it off.
i think i also just need to see valentin be valentin about it tbh bc yaevinn is not kind to himself about these things and sees them as things to be ashamed of.
#the citrus speaks#this bard needs therapy#(so fucking badly)#healing hands#<- mentioned#fwiw... it's not that he thinks nithral doesn't forgive him or that he questions nithral's decision to do so#it's just. he hasn't forgiven himself. and i don't see him doing so for a while until he can work through the shame#because if/when we do win against hansell right#that's not gonna fix it#there's just a lot#anyway sorry i talk abt him a lot and i feel like it comes off...weird when i do#he's just. he's probably the character of mine nearest and dearest to my heart for a lot of reasons#also i'm gonna add this post to my list of things i wanna draw#for some things#ye
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do I have rampant untreated PTSD? Yes. But. But! I have a cozy nest full of baileys spiked hot cocoa and lots of blankets and a body pillow and a whole bookshelf so maybe that will convince my dumb brain I'm not actually gonna be hunted down and murdered under cover of a massive thunderstorm. Maybe.
#teddy talks#personal#to delete later#its cool its cool#nests/forts are like. essential ptsd treatment for sure#never gone to therapy for that particular issue but i gotta imagine question#number one has gotta be 'do u have a space u always feel safe in?' and my answer is yes i have a boozy book nook that i can turn into#a blanket fort at a moments notice and the therapist would be like 'dope my man thats like step one good job ur getting a good grade#in ptsd something thats both normal to want and possible to achieve'#only thing im missing is a phone charger tbh my phones at 3 whole %#but until it dies i also have sweet indigo girls tunes going so were good were good were chill#but yeah no dont mind me im just gonna cozy up here in. my comfortably claustrophobic boozy book nook tyvm#there is also. i should add. a rumbly cat here as well#which is scientifically proven to do Good Things to bad brains right? right
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
y'know i intended to draw a bunch of refs for some of my characters that i haven't posted a ton of art of for artfight this year but i think i'm literally just gonna make crunch and wesker's refs, re-do reverie's ref (it's been bugging me since last year), format and upload horatio's preexisting ref, and update some character descriptions. that might just be all i have the energy for regarding artfight prep, at least if i wanna have some energy going into artfight too
#i wanted to do refs for barnes charlotte lavish and kel. if i end up with a lot of spare time and energy after finishing everything else#i might still do a ref for one of them but no guarantees#but also y'all haven't even seen 2/4 of those characters so. aaaaaaaugh#i might also make one of those card things that i've seen people make but i can't do that until they announce the teams#i swear to fuck crunch and wesker WILL be on my artfight though i've drawn them too much to not have them there#in fact i just finished crunch's ref sheet a couple days ago actually. forgot i did that#wesker's hasn't even been started though.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH#may also add some extra images of certain characters to their profiles because#i think literally the only character of mine with more than one image is meenus#who has an alternate design and a little collage of in-game screenshots for the sky version#but i swear a friend of mine was going through her artfight prep on vc#and i saw that her characters all had multiple images even without alternate designs#and i went ''oh shit right i could do that''#(also to this friend if you're reading this hi :) i'm drawing at least one of your ocs this year >:) )#actually y'know what to anyone if you're reading these tags feel free to reply to this post with your artfight username#i already have a couple people i need to attack but i wanna do more >:)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmmm oh this is a debate now isn’t it
#i didn't realize until now how little time i have between some of the events in my story.....#i mean i can always add stuff#but#right now some things happen rather quickly#and it's a true debate bc i kinda want to make it longer but also idk if i DO since i want to get as much written as possible....#but also. im such a sucker for long fics... and i want it to be a longer story#hrhh#really though i think it NEEDS some stuff between to build it up ;;;#but im not yet quite sure WHAT i can put there#ugh#maybe i should plan some more stuff out before i continue trying to write it#but i wanna wriiiiiite#ughhh#writing is very much a love-hate relationship sometimes#just feeling my feelings rn don't mind me#shh ac#wip: dare(d) to do it
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I like to consider myself as someone who is pretty understanding but there is a limit and I just found it
#all throughout school and university I have been a fast learner with most things#and with things I’ve struggled I at least try#and I believe I have been patient with people who take more time with things#I have studied and tutor some of my peers in school and I like it bc it helps me understand things better#but something that just annoys me is when people are told repeatedly to do something and they still don’t do it#for work for example#my coworker and I were trained in these particular tasks at the same time#the training was very very clear. we were encouraged to take notes and the trainer gave us some of her notes#we have been doing these tasks for more than 6 months#and I am aware that he has a lot on his plate and usually he turns in things like we’re supposed to#but for the last couple of deliveries that I have to check before handoff he has made the same mistake over and over again#is not really a mistake but he just forgets to add some documents#and it’s annoying ok#also bc we have a calendar we have to adjust to and turn things on time#but bc he has a ton of other stuff to do he leaves it until a few days before so I also have to rush#it doesn’t help that im feeling very anxious right now#I just want it to be mid December so I can go home for a few weeks#im not doing well mentally tbh#mariana.txt
0 notes