#just a very specific kinda choice yaknow

[queenlua]

fascinated by the cab driver's choice of music (Prince of Egypt soundtrack blasted at 2x the sensible number of decibels)

[yongseungkim]

.

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol.15

You think you know someone, and then it turns out you really, really don't. At least, you know a very small portion of that person.

In a pretty hefty chunk of this book, we get a massive flashback into Yuki's childhood. As expected, it wasn't that great. What I didn't expect is how bad it was. It was,,, honestly a lot.

So, because he is the Rat Boy, and because I guess the rat is the closest to God in this whole situation, Yuki ended up being around Akito for most of his childhood. It wasn't ever really anything he wanted to do, it was just something he had to do. And from the short glimpse we get of Akito as a little kid, it seems like he didn't use to be anywhere near as bad as he is in the present (which makes sense). He seemed to have a short temper, but other than that, there wasn't anything unusual. Until one random day, that is. Akito kinda flipped his shit, and has been that way since. How nice.

As a result of always being close to Akito, no one else really wanted to be around Yuki. And after Akito cracked a bit, and started saying that Yuki wasn't wanted, that he was unnecessary, and that no one liked him, Yuki didn't much like being around Akito, but he didn't have any choice. Some time around then, Yuki's parents seem to have kinda sold Yuki to appease Akito, so he didn't even have his family to fall back on. Ayame, his older brother, ignored his existence as a whole. Have we even met Yuki's father in this entire series?

So when Yuki first heard of Kyo, how he was left outside, Yuki was pretty curious. He was alone, and so was this mysterious cat person. Maybe they could be friends? But, of course, the second that Kyo saw Yuki, he blamed Yuki for basically everything that went wrong in his life, just because Yuki was the rat, and he was the cat. Before this point, the whole Juunishi thing doesn't really seem to affect Yuki much, he doesn't seem to categorize people based on what animal spirit they have, but I imagine that after this incident, maybe that changed. After that initial interaction with Kyo, Yuki didn't immediately hate him, he was just sad and confused, but moving on, I bet it was excellent fuel to the fire.

(Oh hey I'll just put this here, that after Kyo yelled at him for "ruining everything" and that everyone would be happier if he just disappeared, he ran into his mom again. He was upset, and probably could've used some nice comfort. Instead of that, he got slapped in the face. So. -1 for Yuki's mom.)

Do you remember way back, probably around the first books, when Yuki brought up that time that he accidently turned into a rat while playing with some kids in elementary school? It went over that. It was already a sad scene, but now there's this additional context that when he was playing around with the other kids, that was basically one of the first times that he was truly happy. But after he changed into a rat, well obviously that had to be covered up, so all those kids that he was starting to make friends with were made to completely forget about him. He wasn't back to square one, he was at square zero, because now he had had a taste of friendship, just for it to be taken away and replaced with Akito (and probably other people) shaming him for having the audacity of being born as a Juunishi, because he totally chose to be like that, right?

Another slight detour, the hat. So the hat was originally Kyo's, but after he saw Yuki holding it, he just decided that it wasn't his anymore. And, oh my fucking god? The following panels are fucking heart wrenching, it's terrible. Did no one hear Yuki crying, or did they just ignore it? Like, I don't like kids, I can't handle them when they're screaming (why do they scream so much it's weird) or crying, but oh my god, that hurts me. That panel hurts me. He just wants a family that loves and cares for him, that doesn't avoid or ignore him. (Put a pin in this sentiment, because it pops up later.)

After a steady diet of this kinda thing, with Akito's acidic words, people's general distaste or indifference for him, he started being scared to reach out to others. (Personally, I kinda feel like screaming at these people, like wtf is wrong with all of them) It's here when he just seems to kinda shut off. All this time, he's still sickly, and feeling like your life is without worth (and having your world confirm it everyday) doesn't exactly make you fight to stay healthy, y'know?

And here's when Yuki kinda is given a purpose, because after Akito visited him when his cough was acting up, and basically asked him, "Are you going to die yet? If you're gonna do it, just do it already", he left the house, and ran out randomly out in town in the early morning, where he overheard Kyoko screaming to the police about how her adorable little daughter in her adorable little dress with her cute hair in adorable little pom-poms was missing and she was going to tear down the town to find her. He kept running down some roads, until he did actually find that adorable little daughter.

On his end, it seemed to be a series of "Well shit. What now?" after finding her, and only continued as Tohru saw him and started following after him until he led her back to her house. This whole thing, as has been explained in previous books, was basically the first time in his life where someone needed him, specifically him, to help them. And that feeling, of knowing that he was able to help someone, and that he was needed, even for a little bit, was enough to pull him through.

Then we're pulled back to present, shortly after Machi broke open the closet door with a chair where Yuki was stuck in, which was the main thing that even started this whole thing, where he's explaining kind of why he came to see and/or love Tohru in maternal way. Thing is, just like when that was revealed, I still don't blame him for it. She's very caring. I'll admit (like Kakeru, who has kinda been there sitting with Yuki this whole time, apparently in silence) that I don't wholly understand it, on a personal level, but I can see why he thinks that. It makes sense.

Now onto to wacky happenings and zany shenanigans! The school is making a play, and Kyo's one of the main characters (despite never really showing that he has literally any interest in acting or theater, but yaknow whatever) in a Cinderella play, with Cinderella herself being played as Hanajima! This has already been brought up in the last book, but I'm just reiterating for fun or something idk

Tohru's having a hard time fitting into the role of an evil stepsister, to the point that she's worried about slowing others down because she just,,, can't,,, make,, herself,,,,, be,, meannnnn omigod it's so hard ;-; Additionally, Kyo's just not showing up for rehearsals and stuff, he's not even bothering. Probably bc it's embarrassing for him. And with these two main problems (the show can't go on if Prince Charming doesn't know his lines, after all), the play is altered, ever so slightly, so that it becomes "Sorta Cinderella". What a marvelous title.

Let's go back to that pin I mentioned earlier, with Yuki wishing he could have had a family that loved and cared for him.

So, before some of this stuff with the play, Yuki brought up The Hat, of the "It was first owned by Kyo but he later abandoned it after seeing that Yuki picked it up, and later wore that hat when he led Tohru back to her mom" fame, in a very off-handed manner. I think he just said that Tohru still has the hat, in her room, that's she's kept it all this time. This throws some unpleasant memories for Kyo into the air, and leaves him rather bitter.

Leading back to the main scene at hand, Kyo kinda goes off on Yuki, saying that Yuki was lucky: he had a mom and dad, he was needed, he was involved in the family matters. He's had it easy, had the world handed to him on a silver platter, and that he'll never understand what it's like to hope for something despite knowing he'll never get it. (and both times i've read that so far, i just want to yoink kyo into the beginning of this book, like, no dude. your childhood was fucked up, but so was his.) He stops mid-rant, however, when he sees that Yuki is not fighting back, at all, and when he remembers something that (probably) Akito said, that Kyo just uses Yuki as something he can hate. Naturally, why would you ever want to feed into something that Akito would say, so he stops, but not before punching a hole in a window. Ow.

Finally, we've gotten to the play, the main event! Hiro, Kisa, Momiji, and Haru (among others) are there to witness the,, the sight? (Idk man it's 12:30am) Hiro is acting strangled, as per usual, trying to keep Kisa away from all the creeps, but also trying his small-child most to not Mess Things Up, as he has a slight history of doing throughout the series thus far.

The play in of itself is pretty funny, personally I think the narrator was doing the heavy lifting in this one. But more importantly, there's a point where "Cinderella" asks "Prince Charming" if all he ever wants out of life is to hide away from people, locked away in his own space, dying alone, (which I heavily doubt was part of the script, because,, whoa) and partway through telling her that he wouldn't affect anyone if he did do that, the "Stepsister" (Tohru) interrupts him, saying that would make her... she stops herself, but one can assume that the end of that statement would likely be that, if "Prince Charming" (psh nah this isn't about the play anymore) Kyo were to do that, she would get very upset, and generally not have a good time. And he had the audacity to be surprised about that like wtf man.

After the play, Yuki runs into a group of girls that are harrassing Machi, because she said that Yuki isn't like a prince. She didn't explain herself after saying it, and so I suppose the Yuki Fan Club (or whatever it's called idk I'd be surprised but also not if it wasn't called that) took offense to her disagreeing with her. After being pushed around (literally), Machi says that Yuki just seems too lonely of a person to be a prince, that despite being surrounded by people, he just kinda seems out of it most of the time. Now, is that true? It kinda seems so, so, props to Machi for seeing that, hopefully she's not going to be kidnapped and tortured (idk stuff happens). Hearing Machi say all that does kinda startle Yuki, but the fight itself stops after Kakeru makes a fake announcement about a photoshoot with Yuki that makes the bullies scatter away.

And that's basically the end of it. Although the flashback thing with Yuki probably didn't even take up a third of the book, it was still some pretty heavy stuff, so it's nice that it was offset slightly with the play. I don't really have much else to say about that.

[nonbinary-support]

hi i’m just wondering why you use the “q slur” tag? it’s a little upsetting seeing you refer to the word “queer” as a slur, as if it’s any more culturally charged than “gay” is. like maybe just tagging “queer” instead would be better? because it feels like a judgement of the word “queer” when you call it a slur, which is kinda reminiscent of a lot of TERF bs arguments and not much else. thanks for your time!

okay. listen. i actually made a post abt this on my personal blog recently so i still have a lot of thoughts abt it swimming around in my brain yaknow

there are two separate points i want to address in this ask

one: queer is a slur. period. it originated as a slur and is still used as a slur against many lgbt+ people in many areas of the world. you personally do not get to decide what is a slur or decide how other people identify, and there are a lot of people who are VERY uncomfortable with being called that word and can be triggered by it. comparing it to the “gay” label is just dishonest, gay started with a positive meaning (happy) and was chosen by the community, queer started with a negative connotation (weird and abnormal) and then was RECLAIMED by many many members of the community. gay may be used as an insult, because any word that refers to members of the lgbt community is gonna get used as an insult, but thats not its origin.

that said, just like you cant tell anyone else how to identify, no one can tell you either. no one is saying you cant id as queer, no one is saying you cant reclaim it, no one is saying youre not queer if you say you are (or if anyone is saying these things, they shouldnt and thats a dick move). i personally am gay and masc-aligned and i use the f slur to refer to myself CONSTANTLY. in fact if im in the right company and you asked me my gender id be more likely to say the f slur before i said man or nonbinary. this is my identity and thats how im comfortable. this does not mean i get to call other gay men the f slur or refer to the whole community by that slur, its my own personal choice that i cant make for other people.

so, yes, its a word a lot of people are uncomfortable with. its also a word a lot of other people ARE comfortable with. ive used it for myself!! im not gonna sit here and tell you not to use it for yourself and for people you know are comfortable with it. but why would you insist on calling other people something that hurts them? why would you insist on exposing them to it?

okay time for point two: acknowledging a slur as a slur is not and will never be TERF rhetoric. what does acknowledging a words history do to exclude trans women from feminism and perpetuate transmisogyny exactly? TERF doesnt just mean “person i disagree with” its a particular ideology that hinges entirely on harming trans women/transfeminine people. if something isnt specifically transmisogynist, its not TERF rhetoric. idk if you experience transmisogyny or not, but when you use TERF to describe things that are not specifically transmisogynist, youre taking words from trans women and transfeminine people that they use to address their experiences with a deeply harmful form of oppression that only they are subject to. its just not appropriate, even if you’re talking about something else that is also deeply harmful. watering down the TERF label directly contributes, however unwittingly, to transmisogyny.

honestly, feel free to ask any clarifying questions at my personal blog @gremlinfaggot. im open to genuine and frank discussions and helping people learn, and i dont want to make any lgbt person feel alienated. your identity is your identity and some people not having the same identity as you shouldnt invalidate you. its okay.

-mod basil

[ashmcgivern]

Hello! I’m a high school senior and is looking into going into lcad for animation? How is the program there and the school? Do you recommend it for people who are looking to enter the industry (Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks) especially for storyboarding? Thank you!

Hey there!!! I’ve had an overall very positive experience at LCAD as an animation student that has a lot to do with knowing what I wanted out of school and catering my experiences/choices to that. Like any school there are positives and negatives! 

LCAD’s emphasis and strength is in character animation specifically and bringing out a believable and lifelike performance in characters. The professors are also very obsessive in making sure your films/reels have a good resolution and that stories end on a satisfying note one way or another. They’ll push you to make characters that feel like they’re living and breathing and to uphold a very high quality of performance. All the animation professors were lead animators at Disney at some point and worked there for extended periods of time, so they have a TON of knowledge to pass down and a lot of very good insight. LCAD’s negatives… come from the fact that the school is very traditionally oriented. You’ll spend all 4 years doing your 2D animation-related classes on paper. Depending on who you are this can be great, for someone like me it’s been a huge source of frustration since I’m currently one of the only students who has a semi-broad knowledge of digital medium. We’re few and far between and if you’re looking for a school that’ll teach you the relevant industry tools of today LCAD is NOT the school for you. There’s no sign of it changing in the near future, either. I don’t think admissions knows that there’s not a single animation class where you touch a digital animation program that isn’t Maya. We have one really amazing CG animation professor, but since you don’t really get to pick an emphasis you spend a lot more time on paper and not very much time honing your CG skills. 

I guess that being said, if you want to be a storyboard artist specifically, you may want to look elsewhere? Boarding is very different now than it was back when our professors were working and you won’t get a lot of training in that area. What LCAD does do very well is push you to make the highest quality animation work you possibly can, so your boundaries are constantly tested and broadened. Being an animator can be a very important part of modern storyboarding since you’re essentially doing keyframes, but my friends who want to be storyboard artists find they spend more time doing animation than they do creating story reels which is very frustrating to them.

As far as getting into industry, I’m personally of the opinion that getting hired at Disney, Dreamworks, Pixar, etc, is not something that will happen to most students out of college and that you’re better off looking into skills and studios that’ll make you marketable out the gate. The big studios look for people with experience, they’re not going to take most people out of school. Television is a bit different, Nick and Cartoon Network and DisneyTV you’ll have a better chance at, but you want to broaden your horizons as much as possible. It isn’t to say you shouldn’t strive to work for these studios someday! Just know that it’s not likely to happen out of college no matter where you go to school.

I’m happy with my experience at LCAD because I want to be an animator, and I’m self-motivated enough to try and learn the software on the side. I really believe I’ve picked the right school for me and that I wouldn’t be as good an animator as I am now without the guidance I got from these professors specifically! I do feel that I’ve been held back a lot since I have digital knowledge and haven’t had the chance to practice what I know in a class setting. Kinda hard when you spend 30-50 hours a week doing paper animation, yaknow?I’m making this public and semi-long cuz I get these kinds of questions a lot! Feel free to drop me any more questions. I firmly believe research is the key to picking a school you’re satisfied with so I’d highly recommend messaging other people that went to other schools as well and see what they say! Also, you’ll get out of school what you put into it, there’s no substitute for hard work and investing yourself in learning as much as you can.tldr: LCAD’s Animation program is very good for character animation, but you spend your whole career there on paper, and they don’t give you the digital tools necessary to start up out of college. The 3D program is weak. The quality of animation you’re expected to produce is very high and prepares you for difficult animation jobs you’d find at big studios, but it lacks in other areas like pre and post production. 

[icharchivist]

Kanda and Lavi were the most antagonistic to Link back then. We already have Kanda and Link talking it out with Kanda seeing through Link like glass and threatening to kill him if he harms Allen. Link himself manages to prove he has some hope for Allen. At least enough for Kanda to let him go, for now (on that record, Kanda caring enough to not tell Allen Link alive but against him gives me complicated feelings. Oh Kanda letting Link's image remain untarnished for Allen's sake). I'm very -

2 if Lavi and Link will interact any as well? I'd be curious what they'd have to say to each other as both watchers of Allen/14th. Also with how their own duties might conflict with their feelings for Allen (Lavi at least has the higher ground of being more aware of himself and the choices he makes. Maybe they'd notice how much they are foils to each other?).

Aaah yees

tbh i love the development of specifically the Kanda/Link feud because ye, if at first it might just have been some... reject bc Link is a loyal member of the Order and a Crow and then friendly with people from the Third Exorcist Program (which. For Kanda, unwilling Second Exorcist Type, who had suffered from the Order and had bad experience with Crows.... This is like a Combo of how to have him on his bad side), then turning even sourer when Kanda gets officially on Allen’s side and sees right through Link’s attitude.

And it’s interesting that he can pick up what makes Link conflicted but still put Allen’s best interest first. Honestly no one can expect Allen’s reaction to learning Link is alive, and maybe it’s better to “not disturb his current statusquo” when it can be avoided, at least for the time of.. stabilizing him. (and I mean that’s a point, considering when Kanda came back from this encounter he met up with Nea instead of Allen when he came back. Which also seems like a good reason to not bring up “also that guy? alive. But against you so yaknow.”).

So i’m kinda curious how that might evolve would Link spend more time in the plot as well, especially since Link is supposed to protect the 14th and disappear when Allen takes over, while Kanda is there for Allen and will threaten Nea into hiding and kill him if not possible to get back to Allen. As long as Link keeps a low status (even more so since while his duty is to protect the 14th he does rather have Allen safe), we might just wait and see, but that conflict is just there ready to blow up. 

As for Lavi and Link while they thematically foil each other it is really to wonder if they would notice. If any would, I think it’d be Lavi first? first bc we didn’t see much of Lavi/Link since Link really developped an attachement to Allen and his duty got more complex than just watch for Central, so Lavi might notice the shift and think about “oh boy him too?”. And because Link remains more conflicted on his bias I think? Because Link is directly still in a situation with a conflict, for Lavi as long as he isn’t going to become a Bookman he could... ignore this conflict. 

Like idk, Link seems aware of his conflict but is still too tied to his duty to confront it, and his duty foil this conflict far far more. Lavi is aware of his conflict, he had addressed it in some more extreme way with his fight with Road, but as long as he can distach his conflict from his duty he has a upper hand of “well that’s here. And that’s a problem for future me.”. Link is like “It’s a present me problem and I don’t know what the hell to do.”

But I don’t know how they might bring it up next to each other. Like if they notice it... I mean we know how they feel about each others’s being watcher (Lavi disliking Link in general, Link keeping distance from Lavi when he can) but not how they would feel about their mutual appreciation of Allen. Maybe a begrundged admission that they are more alike than expected, or them being quite annoyed by it to start with

I guess it will also depend of how we’ll get Lavi back. If Lavi process the idea well, if the tortures made him reject Nea even more and get pissed at Link without knowing his conflict, who knows... I guess it’s still too much to wonder about? Kinda could see Lavi take badly that some side would encourage Nea to take over. But considering Link’s reasons (as in, it’s not his choice, and he’s conflicted) this could bring for more interesting conflict between the two of them. 

It kinda makes me realize that we’re kinda having all of those three (four counting even Allen) who are having... Post- "possible rebirth” experience I mean. Link “died”, Allen is being taken over and almost erased and just survived that. Kanda was definitly changed by Alma’s death, if only because suddenly he didn’t have his longlife goal left anymore and he sorted out part of his trauma (and I think it was implied he could have died with Alma but decided still to come back to help Allen, since he owes him and all), And Lavi, with Bookman’s possible death and the trauma experience from the torture, might change a lot. Hell if Bookman dies, he will likely become “Bookman”, no more “Lavi”. So that count as it in a thematical way.

That might fuel the idea of the four of them getting even more focus in future arc if only because of that, but i might be overthinking it.

That said it does make me want Lavi/Kanda to have their possibilities to face Link’s conflict and eventually help him through (whenever it’s active help or just by exemple).  They could make an amazing team out of that.

but who knows... depends i guess.

Take care!