#just a little bit of venting on main what else is new

[funnier-as-a-system]

hey sorry for adding to the number of vents in your inbox but we really need some advice and we’re too afraid to let our plural friends know abt this </3 dont feel pressured to answer if you dont know how or dont want to ^-^

i almost never hear other voices in my head(space?) & thats like. THE symptom of being a system. sometimes i’ll ask into the void if anyone is there or try to switch out of front and . nothing happens. for the past 6 months ive been heavily questioning whether or not im really plural or if i just dissociate and think im a different person sometimes and this is really the main reason why i think im probably not a system; the only times i have ever actually felt like there are other people in my head are when i was very badly dissociated (usually caused by extreme mental distress)

a little help would be truly appreciated but again, u dont need to answer ^^ either way if ur reading this, i hope you have a lovely day!! we love your blog 💖🙏

Hey, there!

I want to reassure you and let you know that it's perfectly fine and possible to be a system without hearing anything internally. Internal communication does get a lot of focus in the community, which is why it can be seen as "the symptom of being a system", but in truth, I don't think there's such thing as a defining symptom of being a system outside of the literal definition (which in itself can vary a bit from system to system). All of us are different; we all go through different things, have different experiences, live different lives. You don't have to be able to hear or even sense others inside your head to be a system.

If you say that you think you're a different person sometimes, well, that sounds pretty system-like to me! Besides, it's not unusual for things like this to only really be noticeable when you're Going Through It™. That's when a lot of symptoms tend to rear their heads the most, I'd say.

And ignoring all that, it took us years to become as skilled as we are with internal communication and switching on purpose. Six months can feel like a lot when you're questioning, but you're also trying to learn two completely new skills. You shouldn't expect yourself/ves to be perfect right off the bat, and you shouldn't judge yourself based on what others define their systemhood around. Again, you can be a system even if your brain is silent and you can't get anyone to switch with you. If you feel like you're a system, you're probably a system, regardless of whatever else is going on up there.

We hope you have a lovely day too, anon!

[car-bear]

i totally understand james potter and regulus black because i still long for that relationship i had at 15

everyone believes it meant nothing because we were young and it didn’t last as long as i would have wanted to but it still is and will probably always will be the deepest relationship i’ve ever had

no one has ever beaten the level of understanding we had, we were kids and didn’t understand love but it was all consuming it was everything, she was everything

and my chest gets tight and my heart still aches whenever i think about her and all the possibilities

we were young and we were scared but we were in love

[thelivingautomaton]

being married is fucking awesome. yesterday i was venting to my husband about a mutual friend of ours who i was annoyed with and he spent like twenty minutes just sitting there nodding and going "you're right, that guy IS being annoying" and generally reassuring me that i should be allowed to air my personal opinions/feelings/grievances. then once i'd worn myself out i was like. "ok rant over. you wanna watch some anime." and then we binged half of the first season of jujutsu kaisen

[quibbs126]

Okay, I think I’m FINALLY done with these designs. Well okay, I said Megatron might need some reworking, but shush, I’ll do that another time

I was not expecting this to take as long as it did. Apparently I started making this at 9 in the morning, and it is now 9:30 at night. Optimus, I am almost certain this is your fault

Anyways, as mentioned prior, the idea here was to give the Earthspark Cybertronians protoform designs like the Terrans, what they might look like when they were in this stage, because I haven’t seen anything to claim Cybertronians in this series don’t also have this stage, unless I’m wrong

I mean theoretically, Cybertronian protoforms could look entirely different from Terran protoforms, but we don’t know at this juncture, so I used the Terrans as my main references

Pretty much the main thing was trying to turn their blocky features smooth, while also taking out a bunch of their little details, like their antenna and horns

Honestly I still think Elita turned out the best, which is maybe a bit sad considering she was the first one I finished, but oh well. I don’t think everyone else was horrible, but I think she just looks best

I think Bee’s design is fine, and it was honestly refreshing after struggling so much with Optimus, but I can’t help but feel like his eyes are still wonky

Like I’ve said, by the end of things I think Megatron came out the worst. He was the second one I did, so I wasn’t sure, but by now I think he is. The real struggle with him is that his entire helmet is comprised of angles, when I need curves. And then there’s his side things, which I still do not know how to translate here. The idea I was trying to go for here is the top half goes around his head, while the bottom half is attached at the ends, but it’s the bottom half that looks weird. But ah well, hopefully I can fix it later

And then there’s Optimus. The majority of the time I’ve spent on this was him. It was mostly the struggle of his vents and trying to make them un-blocky. It was getting really frustrating particularly because I couldn’t think of anything new to do with them to change them, drawing the same thing over and over

But then I remembered, this Optimus was once Orion Pax, a fact I was planning to omit. But that meant I had something else to draw on

And it’s what finally got my brain to make his side things into the curves you see now. It’s also why his middle thing is solid black, like how it seems to be in the picture above

But yeah, I wouldn’t rate his design as the absolute best, but it’s serviceable and I’ll take what I can get

But aside from trying to change their designs, I think I had fun. I noticed by the end of it that they all have different face and eye shapes, and that’s pretty fun

Speaking of which, I notice with this how small Optimus’ eyes are here. They may not look it in my drawing but they’re a lot smaller than the others in the show. Is that one of the reasons his design looks so off? Like I know it looks weird, I just can’t place how exactly

But yeah, take these designs, the culmination of my drawing abilities for the day. I’d like to do more with them, I just don’t know what. Best I can think of is like, a fic premise where the Cybertronians somehow get reverted back to these protoform stages, and the Terrans now have to help them out

[deanstead]

Low Effort

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: no

Summary: Y/N gets a surprise visit, which triggers some unpleasant symptoms

Word Count: 1k+

Tags/Warnings: mentions of stomach cramps, slight allusion to anxiety, negative emotions

A/N: Long time no see! This is a thing I needed to get off my chest and needed to get the emotions out, so it’s just some Jay comfort/fluff. Also, a warning that I haven’t written in so long, this kind of feels a bit meh, so I hope I haven’t lost too much of my writing touch LOL

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

You closed your laptop shut, just as your phone lit up with a notification about a new message from Jay.

Sorry, got held up. 10 minutes. Tops.

You smiled, typing a quick response of acknowledgment to tell him not to hurry before you got up, grabbing your bag. You were too fried to continue anything else so you figured you would just go and wait for him. Fresh air was better than whatever was coming through the office vents.

As the glass doors of the main entrance on the first floor slid open and you felt the chill of the Chicago winds hit your face, you sighed. Fresh air was definitely better.

“Y/N.”

You glanced up, your eyebrows naturally bunching together at the sound of a woman’s voice.

As your eyes met hers, you froze for a moment, your brain still processing the fact that she was here.

“Amy?” Her name slipped past your lips before you could stop yourself, even though the only emotion you were feeling at this moment was surprise. There was nothing positive or negative about it.

Amy could feel it in your voice as well. “Can we talk? I’ve missed you.”

You frowned as a cramp shot through your lower abdomen.

“I thought we were better friends than this. Low-maintenance, remember?” Amy said, and you could hear the tone in her voice, the one she used when she was upset or disappointed.

The feeling of indignation shot through you once again.

“Yeah, low maintenance, not low effort.”

Your voice was low but you didn’t let the emotion sway it. You spent years telling yourself that it was just a low-maintenance friendship, that you were both just busy, but you couldn’t ignore the way she’d reappear in front of you only when she needed your support, or when the guy she was seeing was out of town.

You glanced up at the street but hadn’t seen Jay’s car yet.

You exhaled. “Look, Amy. You have your priorities, I get it. Just don’t expect me to drop mine when you blow back into town or when your boyfriend doesn’t have time for you. It doesn’t work that way.”

You felt the cramps intensify and knew what it was. You called it “emotional cramps” with Jay, joking that as long as he kept you happy you’d be fine. Yet, here they were again. Maybe it was because you hadn’t had them in a while, you felt them more intensely now.

You put a hand on your stomach as you looked up at Amy. As expected, she had an indignant look on her face.

“How could you say that, Y/N? I know the fact that I was seeing Trevor was a sore spot with you because you weren’t seeing anyone so I didn’t want to make things harder for you. But now…”

You couldn't even respond as the pain ripped through you once again and you bent forward slightly, your knees buckling a little. You braced yourself for the impact of your knees hitting the concrete sidewalk when you felt his arms around you.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

Jay.

Amy seemed stunned for a moment before she spoke again, “It must be her…”

“Why’s it acting up?” Jay asked, his entire focus on you as you glanced up at him and quietly shook your head.

Jay glanced up at Amy. They didn’t know each other since you’d met Jay sometime after contact between you and Amy had dwindled to almost nothing. By the time you and Jay had started dating, you’d made up your mind to let go of Amy and this friendship, and it had merely nagged at you a little at the back of your mind from time to time so you hadn’t brought her up.

“Come on, we’re going to Med,” Jay said quietly, pulling you upright.

You glanced at him. “Don’t you dare carry me,” You warned.

Despite the worried look in his eyes, Jay smiled. “We’re going to Will.” He repeated, almost like he was daring you to argue.

You didn’t argue. Partly because all you wanted to do was get out of there but partly because you knew it was useless. Besides, the pain was more intense than you remembered.

Without a second glance back, Jay helped you into the car and drove off, both of you leaving Amy still standing on the sidewalk.

You knew what had triggered the attack, so after getting medication for the pain and cramping, you’d been feeling much better.

“You know I’d be feeling even better if you would stop hovering, Detective.” You said, directing the comment at your boyfriend.

Will smiled as he tapped on the iPad in his hand and glanced at his brother. “She’s fine. Her tests are normal, and it was probably just a one-off stress-related attack.”

You nodded. “I’ll follow up with my therapist, I promise.”

Will ruffled your hair affectionately and you growled because he knew you hated it.

“I’ll get the discharge started.”

Jay was quiet as he leaned over you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, before you glanced back down.

“Amy’s an old friend.” You said, after a while. "At least, she was."

Jay didn’t say anything, so you continued, telling him about how Amy was when she started dating anyone, and it only progressively got worse. “And it’s not about seeing her often, you know? It’s just…”

Jay nodded. “You didn’t feel like she cared.”

You sighed quietly. “I just… it got to a point where I realized she didn’t care. I was a friend when she needed me, and when she didn’t, I just… didn’t exist. And apparently, to her, that’s me being sore.”

Jay just took your hand in his, gently stroking your fingers.

“But I just realized it was better to have no one than to be treated that way, so I just…”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Jay said quietly. “Listen, someone who gives you low effort doesn’t deserve you. I don’t care who they are. Anyone who makes you feel this way doesn’t deserve even one percent of you.”

You looked up at him and smiled, a little sadness hidden behind it.

“I guess seeing her today just brought it all back, you know? And then it triggered all those emotions and then my stomach cramps decided to join the party.” You made a face.

Jay smiled quietly back at you. “But you know what? You’re not alone. At least not anymore.”

You smiled and leaned forward for a hug. Jay perched by the edge of the bed, pulling you gently into his arms and you buried your face into his shoulders, feeling his arms encircle your entire body.

“I know.” You whispered.

Jay kissed the top of your head. “Good.”

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[alizalayne]

Whats the ventilation and heat like in the suit head? I can't tell if it would be warmer or more cool to wear in compaison to a faux fur fursuit head. The only thing I worry abt is how durable needlefelting is and if it can be cleaned like a traditional fursuit head. That being said I really hope you continue making these, they're cool as hell 👍🔥👍

Okay first of all I'm super jazzed to be able to talk about this with people, and I kind of went overboard answering this, but thanks for asking! Putting this up in case anyone else is curious.

The main answers to your questions are 1: wool is cooler than acrylic fur and less stinky

2: A fursuit head is a swamp and i am snorkling in it.

I mentioned this in my behind the scenes post and there are pictures there but I literally just made a snorkel out of a snorkel mouthpiece and two collapsible automotive funnels, the kind that you can bend into a shape so that you can get goo into a weird part of your car.

that snorkel piece goes straight out of a vent hole in the inside of the ear and I felted a pink skin flap in front of it and then felted white fiber into that so it just looked like a tuft. it worked perfectly, it's just that I couldn't talk in it that well. But I'm definitely going to keep using it if I can't think of a better mouthpiece for it because as SOON as I breathed inside the head instead of through the snorkel I was like oh my god everyone is living in hell.

You can see it in this picture a little bit. nobody noticed it at all!

My friend had made a much more traditional head with a bigass electric fan in it and he was having more heat issues than I was, because I cannot stress enough that acrylic fur is like, one of the most horrifically hot fabrics you can wear. I don't know how everybody is even alive!! and there's a layer of ACRYLIC BACKING on it! Also check out how "short-pile" my fur is, most of the head is only an inch thick, it's a half-inch bucket head made out of foam covered in maybe 1/3 of an inch of wool? the less space you have between the fibers the less heat gets trapped. I was shocked by how comfortable I was, and I was having migraine symptoms that day and was extra sensitive to heat. The con where we were had the air turned down and it was chilly outside, but I was shocked when I took the head off and shook my hair out and I wasn't even sweating. I had long hair in a wig cap under that thing and I wasn't sweating. It was crazy.

As for cleaning the wool, I cannot find anyone else who has done this who has cleaning tips for me, but the foam is what I'm worried about. After a few hours of wear there's nothing wrong with the wool at all, but i can TELL the foam is ever so slightly nasty, because the foam is polyurethane and wool is what you make hiking socks out of. I have some wool cleaner coming in the mail that's made for delicate needlefelted items like scarves and deposits lanolin, which is what keeps wool "alive" kind of like how you have to care for leather. It's definitely an experiment! Nothing ventured nothing gained!

I don't have an idea in mind for a second head right now and the next thing I want to make is a cowl so I can wear lower-cut tops with this head, but I might try something else if I think of an idea! I'm probably never gonna sell these because I'm weird about selling sculptures for whatever reason. They're like my living beasts.

But I definitely hope this encourages other people who might be interested in bringing needlefelt or other fiber art sensibilities to this space, that would be a massive complement and a high honor to give people a new way to enjoy a hobby that I know means a ton to a lot of people.

[theflowerrooms]

To Request • Miguel’s Masterlist • Main Masterlist

Running Red

Miguel O’Hara x spider-person!reader (gender neutral)

Summary; Miguel was a fair leader and a fair lover, never did he blend the two titles, never had he taken his anger from work on you, until now.

wordcount: 1.8k

Warnings: angst, arguing, Miguel is a bit aggressive, insults, hurt/comfort, very slight ATSV spoilers

Miguel had three different modes. The silent, brooding kind, seemingly displeased at all moments. That was his default mode, the one most everyone saw, the one most often associated with his name. And then there was his stressed mode, where he would rant, and rant. A loud string of blurred Spanglish that was intelligible to anyone but himself as he paced back and forth anxiously. That wasn’t seen by too many, mostly yourself, Jess and sometimes Peter. Finally, there was the gentle touches that would lead to more, soft smiles and sweet words. Intimate kisses, goosebumps, and whispered ‘I love you’s’. That was reserved for you

This was new, whatever this was. Silent for a while, and then loud venting, eyes glowing scarlet, slight lisping because he was so angry he couldn’t retract his fangs. It wasn’t like you didn’t understand, he was carrying the entire world on his shoulders. But then again, that wasn’t something you could ever fully understand. You’d been by Miguel’s side for nearly all of it, but you’d never been in his place.

“Miguel, baby, please try to calm down-” “No!” He snapped loudly, cutting you off faster than you could process it. That only made it worse. Miguel was a pessimist, and you were a mediator. You’d defended Gwen- and Miles, every chance you could. You didn’t think they were entirely in the wrong.

You reached a hand out to him and he only jerked away from it, that felt like a blow to the chest. He was acting like you were against him, like you were the opposing force and you weren’t, it was stressing you out.

You sighed and chewed your lip. “None of this is Gwen’s fault, you know this.” You pulled your arms closer to body, making yourself seem smaller, but still not backing down from the conversation-turned-argument.

He dragged a palm down his face and turned slightly to look away from you. “I was an idiot. I took a chance on her. I was an idiot for taking a chance on her.” He growled, fingers twitching at his sides.

“You took a chance on all of us- You took a chance on me-” your voice shook slightly and he cut you off quickly. “I wouldn’t have if I’d known you would turn out like this, so stupid.” He spat, voice laced with venom and resentment.

Your arms dropped to your sides and your lip wobbled. You wanted to yell and fight, you wanted to be angry. But you were only sad, hurt, more insecure than you’d ever been in front of Miguel.

The features of his face, aged with stress, softened just slightly, his tense shoulders sloped as he realized what he’d said, how it affected you.

The image of your partner in front of you blurred as your eyes welled with tears. He had yet to say anything else and you weren’t going to stand there and wait, so you turned on your heel. You wouldn’t let him see you cry.

He watched you walk away and you could feel his eyes on your back. Part of you was grateful he didn’t put up a fight against you walking away but a bigger part of you wished he’d apologized immediately, or begged you to stay there with him and explain that he didn’t really think you’re stupid. He watched you walk away instead. Did he really think you were stupid?

✽-

You had no interest in staying in his universe, and your own universe wasn’t quite an option. That’s how you found yourself sitting on the floor of Mayday’s nursery in Peter’s world. She squished her little head against yours, wild hair tickling your cheeks which were soft from crying. ‘Baby-love. Cures all types of sad.’ Peter had said. You had to admit he wasn’t all that wrong.

“Do you feel like talkin’ yet? Or…” Peter offered, leaning against the doorframe with two cups of coffee in his hands.

You smiled weakly. “Thank you for letting me borrow your baby.” You squeezed Mayday in a gentle hug. He took it as permission to hand you a coffee and sit on the floor with you, which you were entirely fine with.

It was quiet for a bit. You sipped your coffee and pulled your knees to your chest as Peter’s baby clumsily made her way over to him. He stared at you, his eyes kind and inviting. “Peter we’ve known each other for a good while, worked together a ton. Have you ever thought of me as stupid?” Your voice wavered toward the end of the question.

Peter tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Of course not. Why would you even ask that? It’s been an honour to fight alongside you. You’re so intelligent, you’re a wonderful teammate and a wonderful person. You’re far from stupid. I mean- Obviously. Miguel wouldn’t give you that much responsibility if he thought you were stupid.” He laughed softly, but the mood shifted and his demanour had entirely changed. He must've sense of change in your expression when he said Miguel's name. "Did Miguel say something to make you think that? Did he call you stupid?" He looked mad, and although it rose your anxiety, you knew none of it was directed at you.

“He said he wouldn’t have taken a chance on me if he’d known I turned out this way. ‘So stupid’ he said. I’m not sure if he meant taking a chance on me was stupid or I’m stupid but-”

“Either way.” Peter cut you off, finishing your sentence. He shook his head. “He shouldn’t have said that, Miguel doesn’t think you’re stupid.” He scoffed and you only shrugged. “Don’t let what he said make you think that. He doesn’t think you’re stupid- and even if he does, you aren’t. Understand?” He rose his eyebrows and you nodded with a sympathetic smile. While you loved Peter, and valued his opinion, you weren’t worried about what he thought right now. Miguel’s words were replaying in your head.

‘I wouldn’t have if I’d known you would turn out like this, so stupid.’

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

✽-

You’d spend the night at Peter and MJ’s that night, in their world. Alone in their guest bed rather than wrapped safely in Miguel’s arms like you were used to.

You were mostly over it now, having gone over everything in your head again and again, with each word Miguel said repeating in your mind. You’d mentally given him a million excuses, just desperate to be over it so you could forgive him and then everything would be fine.

Of course you had yet to forgive him, and nothing was fine. You weren’t sure if you could sleep in a bed so cold and lonely.

“Amor?” Miguel’s voice startled you and you scrambled, sitting up in the bed. You hadn’t heard or sensed him anywhere nearby. Did Peter let him in? “Can we talk? Please?” He spoke monotone, straight faced. This was the cold, emotionless Miguel that others were used to seeing. For a moment you worried he was still angry with you, that this front was to hide emotions he was feeling because he was about to break up with you- for being so stupid. Though, would he have addressed you that way if that was the case?

You nodded and chewed your lip. “We can talk.” You wanted to return the straight, monotone voice he'd given you, but you stumbled over your words. You wondered if your eyes were still puffy from crying- and that's when you noticed his were too. He’d clearly been crying. You’d never seen Miguel cry before, you were witnessing entirely new parts of him today.

He sat on the side of the bed and rested a large palm on your shin through the blanket. “I am so- I shouldn’t have- I’m so sorry. I do not think you’re stupid.” He kept eye contact with you. It was important to him that you understood how serious this was to him. “I didn’t mean to say it like that. I’m so grateful to have you by my side- and I- you’re not stupid-”

“Miguel- I’m not mad at you, you have so much on your plate, it’s okay-”

“It is not. I should not have said that to you- I didn’t mean to say it like that. I don’t think you’re stupid, I think I have been stupid, I could have prevented all this and I didn’t.” His voice shook. He was showing you insecurity and vulnerability; two things he’d made you feel already. You appreciated what he was doing for you right now and you understood how hard it was for Miguel to give himself to you like this.

You moved to your knees and took his face in your hands, smoothing your thumb over the worry lines between his eyebrows. “It’s not your job to save the world Miguel. I think it’s incredible that you’ve made it your job, but still it doesn’t have to be. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you haven’t been stupid.” You pouted slightly and let him kiss the pout off of you. One kiss releasing all the tension and stress from you both.

You rested your forehead against his and then two of you stayed like that for a while; breathing each other in, basking in the closeness. “You really don’t think I’m stupid?” You asked, the corner of your mouth quirking up into a smirk.

“No, no, lo siento carino, lo siento- te amo, mucho mucho mucho-” He rambled in a tone similar to baby-talk, peppering kisses all over your face until you were giggling and pushing his big head away.

“Te amo! I love you too!” You laughed, leaning against him. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again.” You still had a soft smile on your face, but you were being serious and he knew.

A kiss to the top of your head “Never.” He replied. You hummed, head against his chest and palm against his lean torso.

“Good. Because if you do, I’ll turn evil and start causing problems by tearing holes in all kinds of universes. And Jess and Peter won’t help you stop me because they think I’m cooler than you.” You joked and he fake laughed.

Gently, with faux annoyance, he pushed you away from him. “Is there anything I can do now to persuade you not to do that in the future?” He inquired, leaning toward you.

“Hold me?”

You weren’t doomed to sleep in the cold, desolate bed all on your own anymore. Gifted with Miguel’s arm thrown over your body and holding you tightly, he pressed his nose lightly into your hair and his heart beating against your back. You hoped Peter wouldn’t mind Miguel having a surprise sleepover.

He didn’t mind at all.

[izumkay]

~KNOTTED DESIRES~ |Ch-1|

—SATORU GOJO

♡Pairing- SatoruGojo×TeacherFem!Reader(main), Reader×Nanami.

♡Summary- As a new teacher, you step into the prestigious halls of a modern high school, ready to guide and inspire your students. But your plans take an unexpected turn when Satoru Gojo, a charismatic and self-assured senior, makes a move on you, challenging your boundaries and professional. What starts as a clash of personalities quickly evolves into a forbidden connection, leaving you both caught in a whirlwind of desires.

Gerne/Tags- Age difference(8 years), Student-Teacher relationship, Satoru is obsessed over you, high school setting, Love triangle, complicated relationship, happy ending.

Warnings!- MDNI. Explicit sexual content, angst, mentions of death, blood, fluff, strong language, hurt/comfort.

Wc- 2.5k

Next chapter!

The classroom was buzzing with the usual first-day energy as students chatted among themselves, settling into their seats. The door creaked open, and in stepped the new math teacher. You were young—maybe too young to be teaching a senior class—but there was an air of confidence about you that made the room fall silent. You smiled warmly, setting your briefcase down on the desk before turning to face the class.

"Good morning, everyone," you said, your voice clear and calm. "I’ll be your math teacher this semester, and I’m also your class teacher, so feel free to reach out if you need anything." Your gaze swept over the students, making brief eye contact with a few, before resting on one student in particular. You quickly looked away, but something about the way his eyes lingered made your heart skip. "Let’s make this a productive year, shall we?"

From the back of the room, you heard a voice break the silence. A boy leaned back in his chair, looking at his friend seated next to him. "That’s our math teacher this semester... isn’t she a bit too young to be a teacher?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Another voice followed, smooth and confident. "She’s hot."

You felt a small blush creep up your neck, but you kept your expression neutral, focusing on the lesson you had prepared. Meanwhile, the two boys exchanged amused glances, and the class murmured with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. You couldn't help but feel a sense of tension in the air as you prepared to begin the first lesson of the semester, you were fucking nervous.

During the whole lecture, you could feel the eyes of that certain student, could feel him staring right into your soul. Every time you glanced in his direction, he was watching you with an almost unsettling intensity, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. You couldn’t tell if it was just the playful teasing of a senior or something else entirely, but it was hard to shake the feeling that he was sizing you up.

♪°.•——✧——•.°♪

After the bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson, the students began to shuffle out of the room. You quickly gathered your materials, trying to ignore the lingering tension in the air. That one student—him—hadn't taken his eyes off you the entire class, and you couldn't shake the feeling that his gaze was more than just curiosity. But you had no time to dwell on it now.

By the time you made it to the staff room for lunch, your nerves were still a little on edge. You sat down across from Utahime, your colleague, and took a deep breath.

"So, how was your first day?" Utahime asked, her voice light but laced with knowing amusement.It was lunch break, and you sat across from your colleague, Utahime, in the staff room, picking at your food as you vented about your first day.

"I was so freaking nervous!" you said, chewing on your sandwich. "The whole class was just staring at me, like for what? And then, there’s this student who literally called me hot—like, everyone could hear it!" You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "Is it weird to teach while being young, Hime?"

Utahime chuckled softly, her eyes glinting with amusement. "It’s not weird, but I can see how it might throw you off. You’re still getting used to being the authority figure in the room, huh?"

You frowned, frustrated but also a little embarrassed. "It just feels... different, you know? Like, I’m still getting used to this whole ‘teacher’ thing. And then he just blurts that out. How am I supposed to take that seriously?"

Utahime's laughter echoed again, more knowing this time. "You’re just too easy to tease, that’s all. Don’t let it get to you."

You groaned, sinking back in your chair. "I just want to teach, Hime. I don’t need them calling me things like that for fun."

She gave you a teasing look. "Well, you can’t deny that you’re easy on the eyes."

You shot her a look, half-amused and half-exasperated. "You’re no help."

Utahime smirked, clearly enjoying teasing you. "You’ll get used to it. Students are just... well, they’re students. They’re gonna push your buttons and see what they can get away with."

You sighed, pushing your food around on your plate. "I know, but it’s just the way they look at me. That one kid, especially... I swear he was staring at me like he could see right through me. It’s hard to focus when you can feel someone’s eyes on you the entire time."

Utahime raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "A certain student, huh? Which one?"

You hesitated for a moment, trying to keep your composure. "The one with the white hair. He’s the one who called me hot. I swear, he wasn’t even trying to hide it."

Utahime’s grin widened. "Gojo, huh? He’s a handful, but you’ll learn to handle him. Trust me, he’s not the type to back down easily. And if he’s got his sights on you, well... you’ve got a bit of a challenge ahead."

You rolled your eyes, a small chuckle escaping. "I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of challenge. I just wanted to get through the first day without making a fool of myself."

"Well, you didn’t," Utahime said, her tone light but reassuring. "You’re doing fine. But if Gojo’s giving you trouble, don’t be afraid to put your foot down. He respects strength."

You leaned back in your chair, sighing deeply. "I just need to figure out how to handle him... and the rest of the class, for that matter. It’s only the first day, but it already feels like I’m swimming in deep water."

Utahime leaned forward, her eyes softening with understanding. "You’ll be fine. You’re stronger than you think. Just keep your head up and remember—you're in charge in that classroom."

Utahime leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she thought for a moment. "Gojo's a handful, no doubt about it," she said, her voice tinged with frustration. "He’s one of those students who thinks he can get away with anything because he’s charming or... whatever. Honestly, I can’t stand him sometimes. He’s cocky, disruptive, and always testing boundaries."

You blinked, surprised by her bluntness. "I didn’t realize he was that bad. He seemed like the type who liked to joke around, but—"

"Oh, he does," Utahime interrupted with a sigh. "But it’s not just jokes. He’ll push you to your limit, see how far he can go before you snap. And if you show any weakness, he’ll keep going. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to call him out in front of the class just to remind him who’s in charge." Her tone softened slightly. "But you can’t let him rattle you. Trust me, I’ve been there."

You nodded, processing her words. "So, what did you do when you first became a teacher? How did you handle... all of this?"

Utahime chuckled dryly, shaking her head. "When I first started, I was just as nervous as you. I didn’t know how to keep the class under control, especially with students like Gojo. But you learn quickly that you have to be firm. I made mistakes, of course—let a few things slide that I shouldn’t have, and it came back to bite me. But over time, I learned to set clear boundaries and hold my ground. If they know you won’t back down, they’ll respect you. Gojo included."

You looked at her thoughtfully, taking in her words. "So, it’s all about setting boundaries... and not letting them walk all over you?"

"Exactly," Utahime said, her voice more serious now. "They’ll test you, especially the ones like Gojo. But you have to show them you’re not there to be their friend—you’re there to teach them. If you don’t make that clear from the start, they’ll walk all over you. And trust me, it’s a slippery slope once they realize they can get away with things."

You sat back in your chair, feeling a bit more confident now. "Okay, I think I get it. It’s just... a lot to handle at once."

Utahime smiled warmly. "It is. But you’ll figure it out. You’ve got the right mindset. Just stay strong, and don’t let them see you sweat."

You sighed, thinking about spending this whole semester with such a student, especially Gojo. The thought of dealing with his constant teasing and playful challenges made your head spin. Could you really maintain control over the class with someone like him around?

"I just hope I can keep my composure," you muttered, half to yourself. "I can already tell he’s going to be trouble. I’m not sure I’m ready for this."

Utahime gave you a knowing look. "He’s a lot, but you’ll manage. Don’t let him get under your skin too much. Just remember, you’re the teacher. You’re in charge."

You nodded slowly, trying to convince yourself. "I just need to get through the first week... and then maybe things will settle."

"First week?" Utahime raised an eyebrow. "No, you’ll be fine long before that. It’s just about establishing boundaries. Trust me, once you show him you’re not someone he can push around, he’ll back off."

You hoped she was right, but the thought of Gojo’s gaze—so intense, so unwavering—still made you uneasy. He wasn’t just a student. There was something about him that felt different, like he wasn’t just testing your authority but also you.

You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. "I’ll try to keep that in mind. I just need to focus on teaching... and not get distracted."

Utahime chuckled, clearly sensing your growing frustration. "Don’t worry, you’ll find your balance. Just take it one step at a time."

♪°.•——✧——•.°♪

A week had passed, and you had started to settle into the rhythm of your class. The nerves that once gripped you had loosened, and you were beginning to feel more confident in your role as their teacher. The students were, for the most part, well-behaved—except for one persistent problem.

Gojo.

He hadn’t stopped pushing your buttons, testing your limits in every possible way. And it wasn’t just him—his best friend, Geto, was always by his side, offering quiet encouragement or a knowing smirk whenever Gojo decided to stir the pot. You couldn’t help but notice how often those two were together, always in sync, always a step ahead of you in their playful mischief.

During lessons, Gojo would drop a comment or two, usually something to make the class laugh, but always timed perfectly to disrupt the flow. He’d casually lean back in his chair, hands behind his head, looking at you like he was waiting for you to crack. Geto, ever the quiet accomplice, would throw in a sarcastic remark or an exaggerated eye-roll, just enough to keep things interesting for Gojo.

It wasn’t that they were openly disrespectful—at least, not entirely. But it was clear they didn’t take you as seriously as the others. And no matter how many times you asked them to focus or reminded them to be quiet, they always seemed to slip through the cracks.

You had been handling it better than you expected, but deep down, you knew this was only the beginning. The real challenge was just getting started.

Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lecture. The students filed out of the room, eager to get to lunch or their next class. You were gathering your notes when you noticed Gojo standing near the door, leaning against the frame with a casual smirk on his face.

He hadn’t left with the others. Of course, you should have expected that.

"You know," Gojo started, his voice playful, but there was a hint of something more behind it, "you really should relax more. You're too tense." His eyes twinkled as he pushed off the doorframe and slowly made his way toward your desk, still looking far too confident for your liking.

You couldn’t help but sigh inwardly. "Gojo," you said, trying to keep your tone professional, "you should be getting to your next class."

"Eh, I’m good," he replied nonchalantly, leaning over your desk to get a closer look at the papers in front of you. "I was just thinking... you could lighten up a bit, you know? It’s not like you need to be all serious all the time. We’re not going to bite."

You narrowed your eyes, trying to ignore the fact that he was getting uncomfortably close. "I’m not here to be your friend, Gojo," you said, your voice steady despite the way your pulse quickened. "I’m here to teach."

He straightened up, a teasing grin spreading across his face. "Oh, I know. But I think you're doing a great job so far. Still... a little more fun wouldn’t hurt, right?"

You couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or if he was just trying to get a rise out of you, but either way, you weren’t about to let him get under your skin. "You can go ahead and tell that to your friend," you said, pointing toward Geto, who was waiting by the door with his arms crossed, watching the exchange with an amused expression.

Gojo chuckled and winked at you. "Maybe I will. But, hey, I’m just looking out for you." He straightened up, taking a step back. "I’ll let you get back to your papers. But don’t think I’ll stop giving you a hard time. It’s more fun that way."

With that, he gave you a quick salute before turning and walking out, leaving you standing at your desk, unsure whether you were more frustrated or intrigued.

"Ugh, what's his problem?!" you thought to yourself, feeling a headache begin to form. The interaction with Gojo had left you more rattled than you'd like to admit. You tried to shake it off, but his cocky grin and the way he seemed to know exactly how to get under your skin lingered in your mind.

You leaned back in your chair, rubbing your temples as you glanced at the clock. The day wasn’t over yet, and you still had a pile of work waiting for you, but it was hard to focus when all you could think about was Gojo’s words—and the strange, unsettling feeling they left behind.

It seemed like no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, he was always there, testing your patience. And you had a feeling this was just the beginning.

With a frustrated sigh, you pushed the thought aside and focused on your papers, trying to block out the headache—and the thought of what the rest of the semester with Gojo might bring.

Next chapter!

A/n- I hope you liked this chapter! Feel free to drop your thoughts!♡

[levithestripper]

Misc. Peeta Mellark Headcanons

warnings: fluff, gender-neutral reader.

length: 1k || read on ao3 || join my taglist

notes: just a lil something to help me get back into the swing of things after not writing for a while! hope you enjoy ’em, even though it’s a bit short.

Never hesitates to give you his jacket or sweater if he sees you’re cold. He pretends not to notice that the clothes he gives you never return to his closet.

When he kisses you, he always cups your face in his hands, thumbs stroking your cheekbones.

You had no idea just how much one person could bake before you met him. It seems like you get a new baked good every other day. Cupcakes, themed cakes, loaves of sourdough bread, muffins, pasta, you name it, and it’s probably on his list to bake for you.

Peeta loves teaching you how to draw/paint!! He’ll sit outside with you on a nice day and walk you through how to draw a frog or something else simple. By sunset, both papers are filled edge to edge with stick frogs, flowers, hearts, and sad-looking deer. Peeta dates both sheets and leaves cute little notes next to some of your drawings for you to find later.

Most of his own paintings are of you. Some are posed, and some are candid. The candid ones are Peeta’s favorite. You get his favorite portrait framed as a birthday present, and he nearly cries when he opens it. Before you could ask if he liked it, he kissed you, then kissed all over your face, where you both erupted with giggles.

This boy is so stupidly adorable it has to be some form of disease. You’ll catch him sitting across from you with a lovesick smile, his blond hair illuminated by the setting sun he loves so much. You tease him about it, making him blush, which only makes him all the cuter.

At the start of your relationship, Peeta had little self-worth/confidence in himself. He didn’t have much to offer you in terms of money or pretty clothes, but he soon realized you didn’t care about any of that. You like him for him, not for what you could gain from him.

If he’s forced to pick just one thing, Peeta’s favorite part about your body is your hands. Why’re they his favorite? Because that’s one of the main ways you show your love for him. Holding his hands, cupping his face, cooking meals, smoothing them across his chest, that kinda stuff.

He would hug you all day, every day, if he could. This man is a hugger to beat all huggers.

Peeta wants to start a family with you, whatever that family ends up looking like. Just you, him, and a few pets? A-okay with him. A child or two? Count him in! As long as Peeta gets to spend the rest of his life with you, he’s happy, no matter what it looks like.

Definitely uses pet names like “honey,” “sweetheart,” and “my love.”

This man never not has a smile on his face. You’ll catch him staring at you from his seat in the living room with the stupidest, lovesick grin spread across his features as he watches you do whatever it is you’re doing.

When Peeta plans on proposing, he organizes an entire day of fun activities for both of you. He knows exactly how he wants to propose: in a gazebo, hidden by the blanket of night, illuminated only by the mood lighting he set up the day before. But it never ends up happening. The two of you were dancing in the living room to your record player, nose to nose, pressed so close to one another he couldn’t tell where he ended and where you began. As he swayed, Peeta whispered, “will you marry me?” It wasn’t what he had planned, but the outcome was exactly what he had hoped.

He’s not the biggest partaker of PDA, but he’s not averse to it. He’ll hold your hand, kiss your cheek, that kinda stuff, but he won’t make it obvious or rub it in other people’s faces.

Peeta’s very hard to anger, so he’s great to vent to. He’ll always be up for listening to your problems and helping you fix them if that’s what you want. If you just need someone to listen and not try to resolve whatever you’re upset about, he’s perfect for that too.

Peeta starts a garden full of your favorite flowers. Once they grow tall and bloom, he picks them to make a bouquet for you.

At night, he has to be touching you in some way or form to be able to fall asleep. Holding hands, you sleeping on his chest, spooning, you name it. He needs to know you’re still there so he can allow himself to relax enough.

Peeta gets up before you, so he loves to wake you up with kisses. Rapid fire against your cheeks, forehead, nose, the palm of your hand, up your arm, basically anywhere he can reach.

When it comes to Valentine’s Day (objectively his favorite day, minus your anniversary), he surprises you with breakfast in bed and fresh homemade muffins. There are fresh-cut roses in a new vase on the dining room table, and the entire house is deep-cleaned from top to bottom. Lunch is a picnic under an old weeping willow tree, followed by cloud gazing. He cooked you your favorite meal, making enough for leftovers. Later, he gifts you a portrait he painted of you in secret. It showed you, facing away from the viewer, sitting on the porch swing, watching the sun set below the rolling hills of District 12. When it’s time for dinner, Peeta cooks a classic romantic meal: spaghetti with meatballs by candlelight. The day was the definition of perfect; everything he surprised you with made you fall in love with him all over again.

Throughout Valentine’s Day, Peeta kisses you almost every chance he can get. You look too damn beautiful not to kiss. You don’t look any different than yesterday, and you won’t look any different in the days to come, but none of that matters to him. Your beauty never fails to floor him, and today was no exception.

[sweetspidergirl]

A Tangled Web (Spider HRT Story)

Chapter 1

“This is stupid. Why am I doing this?”

This question echoed in my head as I sat in the sterile waiting room of the doctor's office, accompanied by the sound of the clock ticking away in the background. Besides me and the receptionist behind the counter, there was no one else in the room. That made sense. With it being a few days before Christmas, who would willingly want to spend any amount of that time in such a depressing location?

A twenty-five year old woman dissatisfied with her life and seeking a new one, apparently.

As I sat there waiting for permission to see the doctor, my mind drifted back to how I got here. It was half a year ago where I first vented frustration over my life to my best friend Elisa, and she mentioned how I might be going through species dysphoria. She then sent me some articles and links and suggested I look into humanity removal therapy, or HRT.

I had been vaguely aware of humanity removal therapy, often referred to as therian HRT, for a few months by that point. It functioned mostly like hormone replacement therapy, only it would gradually change the patient into a human/animal hybrid, or therian. It was a recent development, only having been available to the public for a little over five years, and still had quite a bit of controversy associated with it from various political groups. Despite that, based on the testimonials I read and the various pictures I saw, the people who have gone through therian HRT seemed to be happier now than they ever had as humans. Maybe it would be worth it if I gave the whole thing a shot. Maybe being in another body might help me be happy again.

I glanced down at the blank screen of my phone, looking over myself in annoyance. I noted the long, messy brown hair that I barely made look presentable. I noted the pale skin caused by a lack of social interaction and preferring the light of a screen over the sun. I noted the oval-shaped glasses and casual hoodie and sweatpants that hid as much of me as possible. I was another drop of water in the ocean that was humanity. Even my blue eyes, once bright and full of hope, had started to appear dim and non-descript as of late.

“Taylor Thompson?”

I snapped out of my thoughts as the doctor called my name. Turning my head in his direction, I got a good look at the man who would be deciding my future. He was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s or 60s, with a grey receding hairline and mustache. His thick, round glasses made it hard for me to see his eyes. Grabbing my belongings, I quietly followed the doctor as he guided me to his office. The office was what I expected to see: a small, plain white room with a desk, degrees on the wall, and bookshelves full of books that I would be too dumb to properly understand. On the desk was a small nameplate that read “Dr. T. H. Erian, Species Dysphoria Specialist” in large, clean letters. I set my bag beside me and took my seat, my heart beating like a drum in my chest. I swallowed the lump of anxiety that was forming in my throat. There was no turning back now.

“So, Miss Thompson, what brings you here today?” Dr. Erian asked in a stern voice. One sentence in and I was already having flashbacks to my high school principal. The main difference here, however, was that my answers actually mattered for more than avoiding detention.

“I, um, was hoping to be prescribed therian HRT. Specifically spider HRT.” I answered, trying to remain calm and collected.

“I see… and why a spider, if I may ask?” The doctor questioned as he began writing something on a piece of paper in front of him.

“Well, I think spiders are a lot like me. Most people are scared of them, but in reality they’re mostly just nervous, adorable little beans.” I explained with a bit of blush on my face.

“Any preferred species of spiders?”

“I was hoping to be a tarantula. They're cute and fluffy, and I think I'd look just as good as one.”

“May I ask why you wish to undergo humanity removal therapy?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I've been unhappy with myself lately. My diet's been awful, I rarely go outside and interact, and in general I just hate everything about myself. My best friend, Elisa Andrews, thinks I might be going through species dysphoria. She works with therians and otherkin daily, so I assume she's right.” I explained to Dr. Erian. I then handed him a folder that contained the paperwork Elisa told me I'd need before being prescribed therian HRT: a medical examination, two psychological evaluations, written support from her and my father. I even spiced the folder up with doodles of webs and cartoon spiders in hopes that it would help my case.

Dr. Erian looked through the paperwork I gave him. I was unable to get a good idea of what he was thinking. His flat, emotionless voice was hard to read, and thanks to those glasses I couldn't tell whether he was impressed by work or annoyed at me wasting his time. I was hoping it was the former.

“Miss Thompson, before we continue, I'd like to ask an important question.” Dr. Erian spoke as he set the folder down in front of him on the desk. “How much do you know about therians?”

“How much do I know?” I asked curiously. “I mean, my best friend’s a physical therapist that works with therians, and I'm kinda aware of some of the legislature that's been passed recently-”

“That's not what I am referring to.” Dr. Erian interrupted. “I want to know if you understand what therians go through, what the process of going through humanity removal therapy is like and how you'll have to adapt. You are aware that I recommend patients spend some time living as their desired species before I prescribe them HRT, correct?”

“I-I mean… if it helps I have a few spider plushies.” I said sheepishly. I could already feel my luck running out.

Dr. Erian sighed and gently rubbed at his forehead before speaking again. “Miss Thompson, this is a serious life-changing procedure. Once you start therian HRT, your DNA will be rewritten to match your chosen species. You'll never be human again, even if you stop early into your therapy. I cannot prescribe it to just anyone who steps foot into my office.”

I sunk into my seat slightly, bringing my knees just under my chin as I almost curled up to feel safe and protected. “B-but… I was told you can help people with this kind of stuff.”

“I can, and I do. However, not everyone needs HRT. What you may think is species dysphoria could very well just be depression, and what you may need is something far simpler than a complete genetic rewrite.” The doctor explained.

I sat there in silence, barely listening to the doctor's words. He was saying so much when it all boiled down to one word: “no.” No, I couldn't get humanity removal treatment. No, I couldn't have happiness. No, I was doomed to hate myself for the rest of my miserable life. Tears started to creep their way out of my eyes, stinging slightly as they worked their way down my cheeks.

Just as I was about ready to give up and head home, I glanced up and noticed Dr. Erian looking through my papers once more. I was expecting him to scold me again. I hid my face against my knees and closed my eyes, bracing myself for his harsh words to wound my heart further.

“...are you sure becoming a tarantula will make you happy?”

I slowly brought my eyes up to look at Dr. Erian, not fully emerging from my self-made cocoon as I processed his question. What was making him change his mind? Did he believe that I'm suffering from species dysphoria after all, or was he simply taking pity on me? Regardless of the answer, I couldn't let this opportunity slip by my fingers.

“Y-yes… yes it will, doctor.” I responded, almost forcing myself to do so. A tense silence hung in the air for what felt like hours as Dr. Erian stared at me, almost examining me. I gripped the sides of my legs, waiting anxiously for either him to continue lecturing me or for me to have the courage to speak again.

“Well, if that is your answer, then I will approve you for tarantula HRT.” Dr. Erian said, writing on the piece of paper some more. “Considering it's the holiday season, it's likely your pharmacy won't receive your first dosage until after the new year, though.”

My heart almost skipped a beat at the news. I was… actually going to be a tarantula?! “Wait, really? You're… approving me for the HRT?” I asked, nearly jumping out of my seat. “Oh thank you Doc! Thank you very, very much!”

Dr. Erian sighed, writing some more information down on the paper. “As I explained, transitioning to a different species won't be easy. There will be some side effects to expect as your body changes.” He explained, making sure I had calmed down a bit before he continued. “Not all therians will experience the same side effects. Not all side effects will be present at once. Some will show up at different stages of your transition. At the earliest stages of spider HRT, I would primarily expect to see itchy skin as your hair grows in, as well as weight gain to provide material for your additional body parts to develop. Beyond that, you may experience headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and possible body pain.”

After making sure I understood the side effects I might encounter during my transition, Dr. Erian started digging through a drawer in his desk, and from there pulled out two items. The first was a pamphlet that had “Welcome to your Humanity Removal Therapy” written on the cover, alongside “Species: Spider” and a minimalist illustration of him. “This pamphlet will help guide you through your transition, Miss Thompson. It provides details on a recommended meal plan, the type of environment you should live in, a rough timeline of what changes you should expect and when you should expect them, a full list of potential side effects, and more.” The doctor explained. “I would make sure to give this a thorough read if I were you. I'll also be sending you a digital copy after our meeting. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me and I will provide an answer at the earliest convenience.”

I took the pamphlet in my hands, almost crushing it in excitement. “Of course Doc. I'll definitely give it a read once I get home.”

Just as I was about to get up and leave, Dr. Erian cleared his throat. “There is one other thing I must discuss with you before we conclude here, Miss Thompson.” He said, causing me to sit back down in my seat. “I still disapprove of you not doing any research on therian culture prior to our meeting. So… I'd like for you to interact with other therians while you're taking HRT. It's not mandatory, but I do feel it will not only help you learn about your new lifestyle but also potentially help with your mood.”

As Dr. Erian said that, he handed another item. I took it in my hands and looked it over. Instead of another pamphlet, it was a flyer detailing a therian support group that was close to where I lived. It detailed that it was bi-weekly, and that it was open to those on HRT, regardless of stage, as well as those questioning.

“I'll keep that all in mind. Thank you so much for all of this, Doc.” I said, stuffing the papers in my bag. After discussing insurance and other important information to get my prescription set in stone, I left the office and gave a heavy exhale as soon as I was outside. That was probably the most stressful talk I've ever had, but it was done and over with. While I stood outside and caught my breath, my phone started buzzing. Pulling it out, I saw that I was getting a call from Elisa.

“So, how'd it go?” Elisa asked, sounding exceedingly curious. Looking at the time on my phone, I hadn't realized she had just finished with work by the time I finished my meeting.

“Well, I managed to get the prescription, so that's good. You didn't tell me he was gonna be so scary though.” I answered back with a tiny bit of irritation in my voice.

“Hey I never met the guy personally. Besides, you still got the HRT in the end, so it all worked out.” Elisa answered back. “So how long before you start spinning webs and crawling up walls?”

“Well, my first dosage won't arrive until after the new year. Beyond that, well…” I trailed off a bit, glancing back at my bag and the papers inside of it. “I have some homework to do.”

---

NEXT:

Welcome everyone! This is the start of a (hopefully) long-term project I intend to work on. This is the story of Taylor Thompson, a 25-year-old woman seeking a change in life through humanity removal therapy. In the process of transitioning from human to spider, she'll learn more about the world of therians, as well as learn more about herself and what she wants out of life.

I want to thank @ayviedoesthings, @welldrawnfish, @entroart, @bubbleverseart, @nyxisart, @prettiestplatypus, @deadeyedfae, @kaylasartwork, and anyone else I may have forgotten (there's a lot of people I'm so sorry ><) for creating the world of therian HRT and creating such a community, as well as my fiancé for showing them to me and for inspiring me to give my own version a try. I can't say when the second chapter will be done, so just keep your eyes open, and I hope you all will join me on this long, wild ride.

Thank you so much in advance.

[lover-of-mine]

so I saw your earlier post about how Tommy is getting Ali’ed, and I wanted to ask about who you think is the most developed and likeable out of Buck’s love interests? (except Eddie ofc, he’s the best and I can feel it in my bones that he will become endgame.) I’m still in s3, so I’m kinda a new watcher you could say. (I’ve read too many tumblr spoilers and copius amounts of fanfics though, so I’m able to keep up with and watch season 8 live).

I wanted to ask this because I’ve seen so much Tommy hype and promotion on here that I really thought that he was developed as a character and a main. But from what I’ve heard, he’s only worse than Buck’s and Eddie’s actually developed love interests. Before I actually started watching the show, I’ve only heard bits and pieces here and there about 911 and the “gay” firefighters, but that’s about it. I only started watching seriously during season 7, and I’m a pretty slow binge-watcher (hence why I’m only 3x12 lmao). When I went back to season 1, I fully expected to see Tommy (bc honestly, I thought Tommy and Eddie were the same person for a while lmaooo), but then I got to season 2 and saw the begin episodes and I was like wtf? How do people actually like this man? Eddie is literally RIGHT there. Even if Eddie wasn’t endgame or a romantic interest, he’s still a better compliment to Buck platonically than Tommy is romantically. So then I thought “oh maybe he had a redemption arc or like changed for the better like Buck did,” but from what I’ve seen on s8 and on here, it seemed like he didn’t? So that only makes me more confused on why a majority of the fandom seems to love his character. Personally, I don’t really see anything, but I guess everyone has their own opinions 🤷🏻 . Though, I’m scared that I’m basing this on too little info and I missed something because I haven’t watch seasons 4–7.

(this got so long I’m so sorry. it kinda ran away from me a little bit 🫡. Lowkey needed to vent my thoughts)

Hi, darling! I'm gonna ignore Abby, because in the context of season 1, Buck is her love interest, not the other way around, since she is the main character. So most developed is hands down Taylor. Ali was barely there, and Natalia didn't fulfill what they wanted to do with her since the actress couldn't come back to s7. Likable is complicated because Ali and Natalia aren't around enough for you to get attached and, Taylor and Tommy have a past of hurting the 118, so it's hard to be sympathetic at times. Taylor gets a lot of background information, they live together, even though the relationship is clearly wrong, both of them are trying to make it work as best as they can, so it makes sense for Taylor to be around. She tries to love Buck as best as she can, it's just not enough, they are incompatible. And, well, Tommy. Imma be honest, the only thing Tommy has going for him is the fact that he is a man. The bt fandom took that and ran. Basically, they decided that since he is a man and a first responder that meant that the relationship would be super developed and they built it UP based on nothing really (actually based on Lou having a cameo and people paying him to headcanon with them, but that's a whole another you just had to be there), not on the show at least. I don't believe he had a redemption arc, the show kinda makes it seem like being queer excuses his behavior and just doesn't address it. In my opinion, when I try my best to be unbiased and ignore the way I deeply hate the character because of the fandom, I think Tommy is pointedly being written as a bad fit in Buck's life and the relationship will run its course once Buck wakes up and stop just accepting whatever.

And if you think Eddie is the better compliment to Buck and you're still in 312, just wait, they get more intense. It's madness. They are soulmates, I don't care about anything else.

[crow-hoards-things]

The Bad Batch Series Finale

FULL DISCLOSURE: This is a vent post. I’m angry and hurt. After I get this out of my system I’ll be more open to discussing the positives of the episode.

Warnings: Ranting, Spoilers

Hooo boy. Okay. I am… less than satisfied?

Quick rundown since I haven’t posted much of anything Bad Batch related: Tech is my favorite Batch member, immediately followed by Crosshair. I’m also a HUGE Republic Commando Nerd (read all the books, played the game, despised Bad Batch as a whole initially because I felt the commandos were being unfairly ignored, can sing + translate Vode An, etc.) and Scorch was my favorite Delta. The Bad Batch grew on me shortly after Season 1 finished up, and I immediately latched onto Tech when I began watching. He’s the reason I watched the first two seasons. (Crosshair + delusions about Tech were the combined force behind watching the final season)

NOW, onto my actual thoughts on the episode, in no semblance of order because my brain is still trying to process, Ft. Cry count:

• Wish Tech was here. He would’ve loved the Zillo being freed.

• “‘Cause I’d do the same thing” no you wouldn’t. Fives would’ve. The you I fell in love with would’ve yelled at Fives about it being a terrible idea and then promptly gone along with it anyway. That said it was a really cute moment and I loved his nonchalant little “come on” afterwards.

• C: “Echo or Omega?” W&H: “Omega” THEY KNOW THEIR GIRL SO WELL

• When Hemlock went to get the operatives I got excited thinking maybe, just maybe we’d get Tech back.

• CROSSHAIR LOST HIS FREAKING HAND!?!? WHAT THE HECK!?! I will never stop being salty about this. He’s been through enough. [Near Tears]

• Rampart sucks

• Nala Se got to blow stuff up and I appreciate that even if I don’t really like her

• I’m glad Wrecker’s okay. He had me scared for a bit. Hunter, conversely, never really did? He’s Omega’s Dad, he had to survive.

• Did anybody else see that one operative whose helmet seemingly had goggles built into it? We had a lingering shot on his helmet for a few seconds and they looked like a red version of Tech’s goggles.

• SCORCH IS DEAD AND YOU’D BETTER BELIEVE I’M MAD ABOUT IT! [First shedding of tears]

• HECK YEAH, HEMLOCK IS DEAD!!! [Tears of relief combined with grief over Scorch]

• I’m so glad Omega hugged Crosshair first. I fully expected her to just run to Hunter, and Crosshair needed that hug.

• Echo’s goodbye was disrespectful. 0/10. He’s family and they don’t even care that he’s leaving???

• SOMEONE IS MISSING FROM OUR NICE LITTLE GROUP SHOT!

• I never really got super invested in the dynamic between Omega and Hunter, but the ending between them was cute I guess.

• We were robbed. We could’ve gotten Crosshair and Wrecker as old men and we were robbed.

• Tech is dead. Like, seriously, really and truly, dead. As a delusional “Tech’s alive guys, trust me” fan, it feels like he just died all over again. I’ll talk more about this later because I’m not over it. [Que sob-fest]

alright, circling back around to my main gripes, in order of appearance:

#1. Scorch.

I hate how they handled him. At first when he showed up I got super excited. That was my boy! In the Bad Batch show!! He’s making an appearance!!! Maybe they’ll do something with the Delta boys!!

Even as the episodes went on and I started to suspect where his path was leading, I consistently would go “Scorch!!! <3” every episode, because that is my boy and I love him dearly.

The levels of offended I am on Scorch’s behalf are not within my ability to express with words. The complete and utter disrespect he was shown over his time on the show is appalling. Why bring him in if you’re going to drain him of all his personality, make him have zero plot relevance, and then murder him?! They could easily have made a new clone for that, as seen by the number of operatives who exist and got 0.5 minutes of screen time.

But no. They brought in a beloved character with 10 seconds of canonical screen time prior, stripped him of everything that made him lovable, didn’t even have him DO ANYTHING, and then murdered him. It feels like a spit in the face and a kick to the gut all at once.

I will mourn. I’ve already cried and I’ll probably cry again. But right now I’m angry and I think Scorch deserves to have people be angry about how he was treated.

#2. Tech

Yes. I admit to having been a “trust me guys, Tech’s alive” person. I will also admit that at the end of episode 13 I wanted him to stay dead because I had zero faith they could satisfactorily bring him back.

My gripe is not with him staying dead. Yes, it feels like losing him all over again. Yes, I will mourn him again. Yes. That sucks. It’s not what’s making me mad.

What makes me mad is how his death was handled.

• It served ZERO purpose narratively other than to up the stakes and make us worry about whether anyone else would die (Spoiler alert: They didn’t. Tech was the only one who died) • Nobody mourned him. No one seemed affected by his death at all. No one cared. I don’t care what anyone says, that will NEVER be okay. • The first actual mention of Tech *dying* was in the finale. Sure, we’ve had name drops and goggle appearances, but actually talking about what happened? One line. One. Freaking. Line.

I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face, you know? He deserved better and so did we. He was a part of that family and they couldn’t even be bothered to address the responses to his death. He was beloved by many of us and they couldn’t even respect him or his fans enough to treat his death like something to be mourned.

That’s wrong, no matter how you look at it.

[onlyymirknows]

What are your headcanons for Reiner coping with Bertholdt’s death? Do you think he actually has the time to grieve during the timeskip or is it only post-Rumbling that he allows himself to fully embrace what happened?

Hello! Thanks for the ask, this is my first on this blog 💖

I think he theoretically has the time to grieve Bertholdt during the time skip but I don’t think he actually does. Reiner’s main methods of dealing with emotional stress are repression and distraction. He basically ignores his problems by occupying his mind with something else.

And Reiner is presented with a really compelling distraction when he returns to Marley:

Fighting for his life and reputation in a brand new war is the perfect distraction from what happened on Paradis. Not just the presumed deaths of Bertholdt and Annie but also his immense guilt over the things he did.

I think the fact that he resorts to suicide the moment he’s confronted with the idea of going back to Paradis is a good indication of how little he’s processed his emotions.

That said, he doesn’t react strongly when people mention Bertholdt which tells me that he’s accepted it factually. But in my head, Reiner hasn’t bothered to confront the emotional reality of the loss (among a ton of other things) because he’s got his finish line.

In addition to that, there’s nobody for him to talk to about Bertholdt in Marley. Everyone back home only knew 11 y/o Bert, not the 16 y/o he developed into. Reiner also can’t admit to the fact that the two experienced a big shift in their worldview together (eg- island devils don’t exist.)

So it wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling that he has to contend with a lot of his unresolved trauma, including the grief of losing his best friend. (And potentially his love interest/boyfriend depending on who you ask.)

Best case scenario is his friends/family proactively encourage his healing and don’t let him run away. Worst case scenario, he goes full distraction mode (my HC is workaholism) and won’t admit there’s a problem until he falls apart.

Some talk about my relevant long fic below the cut

My fic is gonna be about the worst case scenario because I want to dig into the emotional aspects of his character. Namely his unresolved grief, childhood emotional trauma, and queerness.

Plus I want to write about how trauma feels, having been on my own healing journey. It’s kind of a vent fic that spun out into a full narrative that I really need to write an outline for lol.

It’s gotten a bit complicated with multiple POV’s/plot threads so I’m taking my time. I watched a video recently talking about the pitfalls of serialized fiction. I’d like to avoid some of the bigger ones, namely putting in scenes/details with no narrative purpose.

Not everything needs to be Chekov’s gun but I’m sure you know how it is 🤭 so an outline is gonna help a lot. But I feel pretty good about the main story beats! I could talk about my fic a lot more but I’ll leave it here.

[dr-lurker]

Also, if we have to address ships, I wonder how the present love triangle will be solved this time around... last time we had one, I really appreciated that the Jackson/Brenda/Exer one was subverted (in quite the creative way, might I add! I'm not sure i can recall a love triangle resulting in one guy ending up with the girl's friend, the other guy ending up with the girl's BROTHER, and the girl staying good friends with both of them). But idk how this will play out.

I honestly think the webcomic's creator might break it up by having kenda as endgame and setting jolie and elijah up, because when her and timothy are introduced to the new entry in chapter 126 she is kinda drawn with blushing cheeks, but it looks more like out of awe of meeting ken's new neighbor (in fact there is no trace of anything like that except jolie's usual sunny disposition). Also, we have 10 characters in the main ensemble, it wouldn't be news for a series to pair each character with someone in the main cast so that they are not left hanging, but I feel like that's kind of overdone. I also really like the idea of Jolie taking a break from boys after her shitty ex whose name I can't remember for the life of me and keep girlbossing. And maaaaaybe find herself a girl on the way. /hj

Somebody else, either in webtoon's comment section or instagram's, i can't really remember, suggested that the way the love triangle trope might be flipped over its head might be with polyamory. Honestly, I think that would be cute and interesting, and I see it a lot in that "my favorite ship dynamics" memes/sketches, but I never really see it in media, so that would also be a play upon expectations, that are in line with the comic's history.

If we go we this idea you could also argue that Brenda and Elijah kind of share a motif/parallel: on one hand we have Brenda, who started off s1 with a friend group of "cool kids" that are actually mean-spirited and, as told by Pamela, she has a record of liking the effortlessly cool BUT nice guy, and now she has an albeit messy, but well-meaning friendgroup, and she is seen falling in love with Ken, who is not really somebody's ideal of coolness, but he also has plenty of kindness to give; on the other hand, just like her, Elijah has a record of these "plastic" people throwing themeselves at him, but it seems like he's sort of quietly making an effort to breach out to ken, who he quite evidently finds weird in an entertaining way and with whom he goes out of his way to interact with, and his friend group- and of course, on a lesser scale, to Brenda, who is nothing but honestly nice, supportive and earnest.

Moreover, back in s2 I think, or at least back when dexer weren't an item yet, there was this cute little scene in which Ken greets Brenda in some sort of flirty/overtly nice manner in front of David, so David calls him out for doing that "in front of her brother" (I'm paraphrasing but I SWEAR something like this happened and I'm not crazy), so Ken just goes straight up "oh okay" and does it (what was it??? I. Don't. Remember. Desperation is a real thing) to him instead, causing him to blush. This, of course, couldn't mean much and it probably doesn't mean much, for it only kind of confirms that sometimes Ken doesn't have the best nose for social clues and his role as comic relief, while still being overall a good dude who notices stuff much quicker than some other people in the comic (as I realized tonight when reading a twitter/x thread that was written back in april by @/arthurium_key, they were live reacting to a bunch of chapters), but if you have delusional/overthinking goggles like me, you might as well take as him not caring about being ambiguosly affectionate with a dude in broad daylight, in the late 80s/early 90s, and consequentially, MAYBE not caring about being involved with a guy. But honestly? I don't this is likely, so I'll guess we find out.

But I'll use this post to vent for a bit: I really don't like how people in webtoon comments talk to people about shipping, especially rarepairs/non-canon ships, ESPECIALLY when they're gay. They're all so mean and loud about it. What do you mean "oh artists are run off the internet because of shipping"??? What do you mean "oh this is not going to be a comic where everybody is gay"??? That's... kinda... petty and targeted. To me, at least.

And by the way, i can't get a read on elijah for the life of me. He looks so cute and he seems soo polite, but I wonder what he brings to the plot other than being part of the love triangle and Jackson's past best friend. I'm pretty sure someone in the comic lampshaded them being the same person? So is he magic-related, someone else jackson might be able to control, is the love triangle a red herring is he trust-worthy, does he know something...? Everytime he arrives in a scene I feel so uneasy about him. But eh.

Just wanted to ramble btw, nothing serious, but I may have some words about Other Jackson by the comic's next update

[caw4brandon]

The City of Durarara!!

Imagine, you are a newbie who just got an opportunity to attend a new school in a new city. A fresh start in a new chapter of your life but, you are still the same old you.

There are no familiar faces here. You just showed up via the bus or the train, carrying your heavy suitcase. Stumbling about and trying your best to follow the flow of the crowd to your new home. You live in an age where yes, you have a phone to check everything but the place is much more complex than you thought.

Hence, you are very, very, lost.

That is Mikado Ryūgamine's first day in the bustling city of Ikebukuro and the subject for today. The show famously known to have 15 (give or take) main characters co-existing in a space. Developing their own stories while another story unfolds in the back.

- I Love Humans! -

< Durarara!!/ DRRR!! > by Ryōgo Narita; Follows a cast of ordinary characters who reside in Ikebukuro. A lively city known for its nightlife and as a hub for all things Otaku-related. The city is currently a home for our main character; Mikado who just moved in and is about to attend a new school with his childhood best friend; Masaomi Kida.

Elsewhere, we follow a mysterious and non-verbal biker lady who just rescued Rio Kamichika from a kidnapping. Taking her to a secluded building rooftop to "end things".

Somewhere else, Shizuo Heiwajima is throwing a fit at a random man who owes him money. Causing a scene by throwing a venting machine into the sky. Scaring the pedestrians. This, is < DRRR > in just a few minutes. A large mix of events happening all at once at separate parts of the city.

As Kida guides Mikado, he provides some exposition of what's been going on in Ikebukuro. Mentioning that there has been a new gang in town right after the city survived another previously. Kida runs into some of his friends; Kyouhei Kadota, Walker Yumasaki, Erika Karisawa, and Saburo Togusa.

Meanwhile, Rio got to the roof and encountered her online friend; Nakura whom she contacted to make a suicide pact. But it was revealed that her kidnaping was a ploy by Izaya Orihara who wanted nothing more but to mess with her. Rounding up, Kida and Mikado witnessed a famous city urban legend. The mysterious biker lady called; The Headless Rider.

-We are...Dollars! -

Several key pieces are driving the plot for < Durarara > forward. Firstly, we have the everyday life of Kida and Mikado. School students in Raira Academy with their new best friend; Anri Sonohara who has secrets of her own.

Next, we have the questionable love story of the Headless Rider; Celty Sturluson. An odd-job transporter with her partner; Shinra Kishitani an underground doctor. Both are on a quest to find Celty's missing head.

Then, we have the ongoing gang wars that Kida mentioned. Since a new gang; The Dollars started showing up. The further we follow our characters, the deeper the relations go to the point where you need a chart for who is who. Yet, the show is rather comprehensive.

< DRRR > is actually a story about no one and everyone. It takes place in a location where everyone has a story. No matter if you are interested in the gang war, a twisted love story between certain characters or the simpleton life of the Van gang.

Perhaps you like a good ole beatdown action, or maybe. You like something a little bit supernatural regarding several slasher cases. There is something for everyone and while some of the parts may not interest you as much. The threads eventually cross paths. Leading to a big Crescendo~

- The World isn't as Cruel -

One of the most consistent themes seen in all of < Durarara > is the theme of making connections. As the audience, we get to see the characters being much closer than they make it out to be.

In a chatgroup. The characters take on differing identities and exchange information to help one another. Not realizing that they chatted about it a while ago. Perhaps the most encouraging thing about the show is how it uses the word "gang".

To join a gang often comes from a desire to find a sense of belonging. As mentioned, The Dollars are a new gang but the peculiar fact is, they are a colourless and leaderless gang. Sure, factions among them can exist. But no one has the power to control each other. Anyways, the gang is often seen to have done both good and bad to their respective communities.

Ikebukuro is crowded with countless activities going on in the light and in the dark. How our characters react to it determines the outcome. Despite the show has already declared itself as ended.

I personally think it's not a definitive end. Because the ending is not the point. < Durarara > is a show about people and how people deal with complex situations in their daily lives both personally and externally as a community. Perhaps its also a good display of how we are more interested the lives of someone else rather than our own.

To wrap this up, I just want to say that this show displayed the true power of an online community. It's a stroke of genius on the power we have as a collective to make change to our communities. That is what < Durarara > is about!

[problematicfactive]

New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

-

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)