#just a little bastard
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Aw what the heck I’ll post my pfp and header
He’s a canonical boss battle that requires at least three friends to fight because he cheats/j
#not a young wizard#just a little bastard#if y’all send me asks I’ll implode fr fr#wizard101#w101 oc#wizard 101#w101 fandom#w101 art#w101#wizzy art#wizzy fandom#wizzy101#my art
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Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.
They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.
So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.
#We will fight them on the shores in the trenches etc etc etc#I know it's been said before but the people who said it were right to beat back fash for whatever else they weren't right about#Fuck these fucking little bastards who want to rule our fucking lives and destroy our communities#They've got too much power as is and right now is our moment to crush them and take it back#If you're not into Harris fine work to kick the GOP off your city council they're shitty little gremlins there too I guarantee it#(Hell if you're in LA there's two good chances to swap a shitty Dem for a good dem on the council)#But it's time to fucking break their necks and if we do it here the worldwide movement of these fuckers is gonna follow#Not because we're particularly special but because our fascists are pretty large exporters of the stuff#A loss for them is going to shred their party this unholy alliance is already fraying between the fundamentalists and the tech ghouls#Let's magnify that shit for them by making them eat it.#Don't mind me I'm just sick of these fucking ghouls and ready to make them suffer for what they've tried to do#All implied violence in this post is metaphorical ;)
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i wanted to show them the stars.
#fanart#draws#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#gfalls#illustration#digital art#watercolor#me: oh man art fight is over i'm probably going to lose my art motivation now :/#the triangle bastard bursting into my room at mach speed:#also translation for the ciphers in the bg are as follows:#repeating ones that fade out are just ''why did you do it'' over and over to ref the video of him w scalene and euclid on the website#and the verse next to him reads ''oh little billy / what have you done / mama's little boy / you've flown too close / to the sun''#can you tell i feel insane about the new lore
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Me: I appreciate that you keep bringing me tupperware leftovers but you really really shouldn't, you're going to lose a lot of containers
My brother, handing me the 10 thousandth container of leftovers: Oh yeah I forgot to ask when are you bringing those back
Me: You don't want them back.
My brother: What did you do
Me: Better question: what did I NOT do
Him: ...
Me:
Him: Oh my god
Me: Yeah
Him: You haven't been WASHING THEM?
Me: Bruh I'll be honest I haven't even been eating most of them
Him: Oh my god
Him: I have been bringing you lunch since-
Me: Halloween
Him: OH MY GOD
Me: Yeah
Him: It's been- we JUST bought those containers
Me: I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO STOP
Him: WHAT THE HELL
Me: I HAVE TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES TO STOP
Him: IF I DONT FEED YOU, YOU DONT EAT
Me: I AM AN ADULT I PACK FOOD
Him: WHAT FOOD
Me: I DONT KNOW, FUCKING. SPAGHETTI
Him: IN WHAT? IN WHAT? YOU DONT WASH YOUR FUCKING TUPPERWARE
Me: I DON'T *BUY* TUPPERWARE CAUSE I KNOW I WONT WASH IT
Him: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARRY THE SPAGHETTI IN
Me: Bags
Him: What
Me: Ziplock fucking bags
Him: YOU'RE EATING SPAGETTI OUT OF BAGS
Me: IT'S LESS WASTEFUL
Him: HOW is it less wasteful? HOW?? You're throwing out a plastic bag every single day!
Me: It's better than throwing out tupperware!
Him: TUPPERWARE IS REUSABLE
Me: NOT IF YOU DONT WASH IT
Him: WHY THE FUCK NOT
Me: I DONT DO DISHES
Him: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU DONT DO DISHES.
Me: I hate doing dishes. You KNOW I hate doing dishes. I have ALWAYS HATED DOING DISHES you KNOW this
Him: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN EATING OFF OF
Me: PLASTIC BAGS
Him:
Him: You're a fucking trash monster
Me: You wore the same pair of Shrek pants every day for two years
Him: When will you let that go
Me: I will never let it go
Me:
Me: ...thank you for the lasagna
#This little bastard is kind and thoughtful to the point that it is almost dumb#STOP TAKING CARE OF ME I HAVE A SYSTEM#It's not that I NEVER do dishes#I just hate it so much its maybe an every 17 days thing#I just refuse to dirty them when possible#Like literally I will straight up skip a meal before I touch the sink#I am aware it's stupid#Just as I am aware of the reasons#But because I KNOW MYSELF I will not buy tupperware#At least glass will wait for me#....this is always why I eat so many sandwiches tbh#The bagged spaghetti post#Teaboot
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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I made this AAAAGES ago and forgot to post it and now I'm annoyed by how it's rotting away on my phone so here. Bratty teen Thancred being a menace to Fourchenault (and a bad influence on Urianger lol)
#we never see fourchenault & thancred interact in any meaningful way (outside of Group Interaction) and i like to imaginr#its bc fourchenault Did Not Like thancred when they were kids and has resolved to just ignore him now#and thancred-the little bastard that he is-wouldve 100% messed with him on purpose if he had the chance#bc i just KNOW he pulled stunts like this to annoy fourchenault all the time#fourchenault tells him to eat more orderly and thancred gets more messy on purpose yk. he is wired to be petty against stuffy rich kids#also urianger isnt actually being influenced much he has always been down to break the rules if he wants to#hes taught by louisiox thats like a requirement. him & his group of unconventional little smartypants#only reason he went to thancred specifically for help here is bc 1) he knows thancred knows how to easily get onto the roof and#2) hes like idk 13 here so hes still a tiny baby size. hes too short to reach up lol#anyway thats enough silly kid rambling time to tag#fourchenault leveilleur#thancred waters#urianger augurelt#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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Dead Man's Diner pt 7
Hearing the chime of rhe bell above the door, Danny mentally prepared himself before poking his head around the corner "Heya! I will be with you in one hot sec!"
Rushing around the kitchen, Danny set the chili to simmer and quickly cleaned himself up before coming back to greet his newest customer.
Stepping upt to the bar, Danny put his best customer service smile on and opened his mouth to speak, but the words that came out were not in English.
"Hey there! Welcome to Big C's diner what can i..." Blinking a bit before frowning, Danny looked closer at his customer, his eyes flickering a bright green as he squinted at the man.
Because either this man was the very strong revenant that had claimed Crime alley as his huant, or there some how was a 4th Halfa in the world.
---
Jason found the little diner comfortable, more up to date than the typical dive that was in the Alley, there wasn't even any blood splatter in the back booths!
He kinda didn't like how there was only a single person working there at night, being so close to the Alley and all, but that was easily fixed if he just happened to come around in his Red Hood outfit.
Sending a smirk like smile to the teen that came out from the kitchen, who had the fakest smile that Jason had ever seen outside of a gala.
But his smirk slowly slipped as the kid spoke, his words both sounding clear and distorted at the same time, he could make out words but it was very clearly not words at the same time.
Then, the kid's eyes flashed, and Jason had seen those eyes before, he had seen them in the mirror more times than he was willing to admit.
(Holy shit this kid is about to have a Pit episode in front of me...how the fuck did this kid get in the pits?) Jason thought as he leaned back into his seat, his hand instantly going to where his guns usually were, but only grasped at air.
(Right...forgot those at home...) He thought, settling instead to set his hands on the counter, Jason narrowed his eyes at the teen
But just like that, the green was gone, and the teen cleared his throat, "Sorry about that, um, welcome to Big C's, what can I get ya?"
---
Danny gave a weak smile, he didn't exactly want to throw down with this potential halfa, sure he liked a good ghostly welcome every now and again, but he just cleaned up and he would like his diner to stay that way thank you!
The man across from him glared for amoment longer before shaking his head, "Shit, ugh...gimme a coffee and...what's your special today?"
Reaching for the coffee pot, Danny felt a rumble in the diner cart, and there was suddenly a chalk board on the wall behind him.
Pouring his customer a mug, his brain paused for a moment, translating the ghost script before he spoke "Cadavers chili hotdogs, made with 100% not person meat...I promise neither are made out of people, definitely didnt seen any bodies when I made it my guy."
---
Staring at the blackboard that Jason was very much sure wasn't there a moment ago, he felt his chest tighten and ache as he read the...sigils? Words? They were definitely something and he totally shouldn't know what they mean.
Biting back a snort at the dry comment, Jason focused on him "I will take two...Danny? That your name or just the name on the aprin you got?"
Jason was totally not digging for information, because he totally wasn't a Bat or a Bird, and he totally didn't have an urge to know everything about the person across from him.
Getting a dry chuckle from the guy on the other side of the counter, who could only shake his head, "Sadly, that's my name, I will be back in a sec with your food, no running off tho' ya hear? Already dealt with dine and dashers once this week."
Letting out a chuff, Jason kept his eyes around the room, he knew logically he should be more freaked out by this whole experience, but he couldn't help but feel his body relax and his mind comfortable slow.
Holding the cup of coffee in both hands, he took a long sip and memories hit him harder than a crowbar.
It was his mother's coffee, not the bitch that sold him out but his mama, Catherine, the woman that struggled to keep him happy and fed.
It was the watered down brew, stretched to make it last longer.
It was milky and sweet with sugar packets pilfered form diners such as this and powdered milk he used to steal from the grocery store just for her.
His mama gave up so much for him, why couldn't he just do one little petty theft for her?
His heart aches again, and the intense feel of the pits roar in his ears, but they weren't calling for blood, the pits crooned in nostalgic heart break.
Usually remembering before his death was a trigger, was something that made him rage, but right now? He could only mourn for the mother and son that used to cuddle up together under a ratty blanket, of the mother that whispered stories to him during long quiet nights, of the woman that he had found dead on one such quiet night.
---
Tossing on the last bit of fresh diced onions, Danny had a cheesy grin on his face as he brought the plate to the front, mouth opening to speak before noticing his customers disposition.
He was hunched over on himself, looking small (which was impressive for a man thst looked twice his size and 4 times more muscular)
Tears were streaming down his face as he stared at the now half full mug, for some reason it felt heart breaking to see.
Setting the plate down carefully in front of the man, Danny placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay man...your okay bud." Awkwardly Patting his customers shoulder, Danny felt a bit of panic, he wasn't Jazz he didn't know how to like, console people!
It took a few minutes for the man to calm, and Danny handed him a few paper towels to clean himself up, patting him on the back one last time, Danny let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Well...um, hope that the coffee is so bad that it made you cry, I-uhh, could comp it if you want?"
The man just shook his head, "Fuckin' hell, ain't bad, just...God damn it..."
---
Rubbing at his eyes Jason huffed, "Sorry for, um....blubbering on ya like that..
don't usually get teary at coffee, that's more of Timmer's shtick, just tastes...tastes like my mom's coffee when I was a kid..." shaking his head, Jason looked at the chili dogs, they still steamed, the cheese now melted on nicely.
Danny just nodded, "Yeah, some reason i have gotten a few comments on that" shrugging his shoulders, he started to figgle with a cloth, wipping down the counter as he spoke "Meh, Gotham is fucked up and I don't want to even begin to try and figure out."
Croaking out a laugh Jason dragged the plate of food closer, "Fucking right about that...though if you keep making it like that you got yourself a regular customer."
Reaching a hand across the counter, Jason gave Danny a weak smile, "Names Jason, nice to meet ya."
Taking the hand, Danny gave a smirk back, "Got it, one sad cup of coffee for you then-" Snapping his head over as he heard a beeping sound, Danny got a panicked look on his face "Oh shit! My cookies!"
---
Storming to the back, Danny ran to the oven, throwing it open, scrambling for the oven mits, he phased a hand through them instead of tugging them on, and quickly pulls the smoaking batch of sweets from the rack.
Plopping them on the counter, he hears the oven snap shut as he sighs, turning to thank the diner, he pauses to see the sight of a man he was hoping that he would never have to see again.
"Oh little Bager, King of the Realms making food for the common folk? How the great have fallen.." Vald said with a viscous grin, his hand reaching up to flip off the oven, "Did you think I wouldn't find you? Thought you could rum off and not tell dear old Uncle? Don't worry Bager, while old Vlad might not come around to vist much..."
There was a flash of black light and where a man once stood was a ghost, his grin pulled back devilishly "I am sure Plasmius will make up for it very...very well."
---
Laughing a bit as he watched Danny scramble inot the back, Jason stared at the food, he was still hungry but...he held an apprehension of sorts, was this going to bring back memories? Would they be good like the coffee or...
His thoughts were cut off as a body was through through the deviding wall from the front of the house to the kitchen.
Bolting up out of his seat, he watched as Danny stepped out of the hole in the wall, shaking out his fist as he did, "I really don't have the fucking time for you Plasmius, don't you see I have a customer?"
Jason stared as the body that was punched through the wall, that looked mangled, twisted and broken start to twitch and crack back into place, limbs bending back from positions they should never be, and then the man sat up, a feral grin on his lips.
(Really fucking bad day for not having my God damn guns.)
#batman#batfam#dc x dp#dpxdc#dead man's diner#danny is a little shit#danny phantom#ectoplasim in food makes it nostalgic#ghost king danny#vlad plasmius#Vlad is a bastard man#jason todd having ghostly shit happening#Jason is having a loy of big feelings#ectoplasm in food makes it nostalgic#No jason you dont bring guns to a ghost fight#think ghost thoughts and punch Vlad in the dick#bruce in the batcave looks up at nothing: one of my children just got into some bullshit#tim: damnit B stop being weird
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Swimsuit season is well over now. Maybe it's for the best.
#ambroys#special guest star hyden#my draws#as always i just like drawing them hanging out together and being shameless silly gaudy bastards#ambroys can be a judgy little bitch all he likes - hyden's ego defenses are impenetrable#sfkkf standing next to hyden always makes ambroys look like such a manlet. i swear he's well over 6 feet tall#even if i draw ambroys as a totally normal (...relatively normal) non-magic human i still want to put his sun-shaped tummy birthmark on him#it stretches credulity but i think it's cute (said like a man in a confession both)#ummm tags i guess#swimsuit#beach#cartoon art#artists on tumblr#oc#human oc
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When you think about it, it was pretty on brand for Elias to start the apocalypse by giving Jon Evil Paperwork.
#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#jonah magnus#i’m sure someone else has probably said this already#he’s such an insufferable little bureaucrat. i want him dead (affectionate)#stupid bastard of a man. melanie wanting to stab him was actually unrelated to the bullet i think. eLIEas just has that effect on people#he has such stabbable vibes
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Ramon: So opinions on [Bagi]?
Fit: She's legit, we can trust her. We can trust her.
Ramon: Would you rather a dad or a mom [for me?]
Fit: Uh- I- no one! No one. Let's- let's get over to Felps' Square, Ramon. [They head to the warp at Spawn, then Fit hesitates] Um, wait- Ramon. [He pauses, briefly looks at the camera, then says in a rush] If I had to choose between the two, it'd be a dad. Alright, let's go. Let's go, let's go.
#FitPac#Hideduo#Ramon#FitMC#QSMP#Ramon driving the Hideduo bus today and frickin FLOORING it#I'm a slowburn enjoyer but I do love it when the Eggs are little bastards and tease their parents like this LMAO#If I have time maybe I can compile some of the Fit/Pac moments from today#Ok but this out of everything that's happened lately re: Hideduo stuff; this really warmed my heart#idk it just felt so... realistic? I dunno how to phrase it but something about it really made me go :')#''if I had to choose between the two it'd be a dad''#man idk maybe this is just because that's how I write characters but that really spoke to me#both as a slowburn writer and as a demi-leaning person
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Ok we all know the idea that billy Batson gets discovered as just a little boy by the Justice League, and don't get me wrong I also love that, but imagine if they never find out...
Billy continues to hide his secret identity, and the JL makes peace with it, sure they don't know what their colleague does in his off time or if he has a family, but that's for the best I guess, he has his reasons to not say it to us right.
And it's eating poor Billy inside! He's a grown up! He should be able to tell his friends about himself! So after thinking for a very long time, he just agrees to do stuff he usually created excuses not to do.
Like "Yeah Arthur! I would like a drink with you! First round is on me!" or "Hahaha! That reminds me of my sister Mary!" and everyone is so weirded out! It's been 10+ years and Cap is finally letting us in!?!? Sure the league is happy, Captain Marvel the heart of the League it's a good thing that he's finally open up a little bit!
But some Bat is not that convinced. Why the suden change in behavior? Is something going on? Is Marvel ok? So he decides to have some alone time with Marvel. And he finds the results 'inconclusive'.
So he just point blank asks "Who are you?"
"Oh! me? I'm Billy Batson! I though that you already knew that, old friend!"
And Batman just nods, like he already knew that (he doesn't know, he'll run to the Batcomputer to look it up!!) and leaves.
The next day a emergency meeting is called.
#billy batson#captain marvel dc#bruce wayne#batman#justice league#arthur curry#mary batson#he is just so tired of lying to his friends!#That doesn't mean that he's not gonna be a little bastard about it
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Been thinking about that yellow goat a whole lot lately.
#all of the horns are based of diffrent breeds of goats#because I’m insane like that#anyway he’s just a little guy#no need to talk about the torture maze#everyone needs a hobby 💛🐐#tinky#t’noy karaxis#the lords in black#lords in black#starkid#team starkid#starkid productions#starkid musical#starkid musicals#time bastard#starkid time bastard#time bastard nightmare time#nightmare time#hatchetfield nightmare time#starkid nightmare time#nmt#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield universe#fanart#my art
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Ogata refusing to sit still compilation except it's just one single five minute conversation
#ogata hyakunosuke#golden kamuy#fidgety little bastard man i love him#the fact that he can go like 24 hours unmoving and simply chooses not to exercise that restraint if he's not hunting#also love how he just adopts himself into the Old Clown Brigade as resident goblin with an increasing number of grandpas
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ms jay herself (and apple)
#ive been grappling with her design the most i feel.... i need it to be good enough for her 😭😭😭 ily jay ilysm wehhghghhhh#dude drawing the pin i realized just how much circles dont exist to me. theyve disappeared from my art completely. fuck you circles. fuck y#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#jrwi apple#i will tag every little critter ok it just feels right#my art#ok theres one bastard left i will deal with him.. later. maybe tmrw#fuck i got to the part where he gets some tats hhhgotta figure out how i wanna draw those#jay bad posture while tinkering is real to me. shes all hunched. shes shrimping.#she tinkers at night while the others r sleeping n she stretches n yells n wakes them up#guys i love drunk jay so much.... when her and lizzie got plastered... so good...........
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Don’t You Want Me (Baby?) Pt 3
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Steve and Eddie are either hooking up or dating - and are about as bad at keeping a secret as they are dealing with their feelings. (Dustin POV)
1 / 2 / 3
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“I’ll be there in thirty!” Dustin said. He slammed the phone down and dashed to his room to round up his notes.
“Bye mom love you gotta go!” He shouted as he hustled out the door and jumped on his bike. Dustin had just made it out of the suburbs and into town when he spotted a familiar Maroon Beemer in the lot by the Quickie Mart.
Steve was standing beside his car in a fluorescent windbreaker, leaning on the open driver’s side door. He was staring at the bouquet of flowers in his hands like his nose was about to start bleeding.
Dustin slowed.
….He could probably spare a few minutes to see what the hell that was about.
Really, it’s been a while since Dustin made peace with the fact his curiosity would almost invariably get the best of him.
“Hey Steve!” Dustin hollared, dinging his bike bell a few times.
Steve startled, comically jerking to attention. As a thoroughbred jock, Steve could be ever so slightly air-headed at times. But that usually didn’t extend to a total lack of situational awareness.
Steve waved at Dustin as he approached.
“Why are you angry at those flowers?”
“What? I’m not - “ Steve cut himself off with a sigh. He shot the flowers another grimace. “I’m just trying to decide if I’m being a total idiot right now…”
Ah, Dustin realized. Must have pissed off Robin.
“What happened?”
“I fucked up, I think. And flowers, that’s my go-to right? That’s the move. But…” he tapped above his temple with the side of his fist - as if to dislodge the stupid. He rested it there for a second. “I can’t help but think I’m becoming totally neurotic.” He said, vaguely concerned.
“Girls like flowers.” Dustin offered a simple shrug.
“Yeah, girls do.” Steve agreed. Then sighed again, shaking his head.
Jesus, he must be gone bad.
And Dustin likes Robin. More importantly, he liked her for Steve, they were a perfect match. But most importantly of all - if Steve fucks this up, Dustin spends the next who knows how long listening to him complain about his endless strings of unfulfilling dates.
“And red roses? Can’t get more romantic than that, right?” He said, trying to sound encouraging.
“You don’t think they’re… I don’t know. Lame? Christ, what the hell am I even - I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing here.” Steve said, sounding totally defeated. He dragged a hand through his hair, displacing his artfully styled do. And too distracted to even notice? Dustin was very nearly starting to get worried. “Never mind forget it. Just, forget I said anything…”
“Who even is this guy? Your Steve.” Dustin scoffed. “Legendary lady killer of Hawkins High. Remember? You’re great at this.”
““Yeah, that’s different though. I guess... I don’t know.”
“Different how?” Dustin demanded.
“How about because this is important. That’s how!” He said.
“Ok? That’s a good thing, Steve.” Dustin said, which even to his own ears sounded just a little bit demeaning. Maybe he did need to work on his tone…
“Is it? The last time I really thought there might be something there, it was Nancy. So of course, I manage to fuck the whole thing up. Because that’s my thing I guess.” He deflated. Then quietly, as though speaking to himself, he said. “Things were going so good too… I just had to start a stupid - “
He finally looked back up at Dustin. He closed his mouth and the far away look cleared. He shook his head, like was done thinking about it right now. Or at least done talking about it because he said,
“Henderson, what are you doing running around this early anyways?”
“Pft, what are you doing running around this early? You and Eddie. I’m surprised you’re not sleeping off your… illicit activities.”
Steve made a face. “No. Don’t call it that. I - we… called it an early night last night.”
“Figures. I’m headed to Eddie’s right now.”
“Ah...” He muttered to himself. He looked down at the flowers again and his shoulders wilted. Then he chucked them into the the passenger seat.
“Woah, man, careful with those.” Dustin scolded him.
“No, it’s fine. Look, I gotta go pick up Robin soon. We have a shift together later. See you around, man.”
Dustin frowned. Why were adults so goddamn weird? Is Dustin gonna start acting like this in a few years.
“Good luck.” Dustin offered, tilting his head optimistically. Steve just waved him off, still very obviously distracted.
“Yeah, I’ll figure something out.”
Dustin watched him climb into his car. Steve would figure it out. Dustin had faith in that, at least. He could have a thick skull, but give him enough time and eventually he got it together.
Steve drove off and Dustin started pedaling again, in the opposite direction, towards the Forest Hills trailer park.
Dustin was at the trailer almost till dinner time, fine tuning what will soon be the very first one shot, nay the very first D&D session Dustin will ever orchestrate. He can’t help violently oscillating between excited and nauseous, but Eddie’s advice genuinely did provide a solid foundation to work with.
Eddie even assured Dustin he’d act just as shocked as the rest of the party, gasping during the big moments. Stuff like that - even though he knew pretty much every story beat he had planned just from helping Dustin sort it all together.
They were just packing up to leave when the phone rang.
“Shit. Give me a sec. That’s probably Wayne.”
“He’s not at work?”
“A buddie’s house. He got the weekend off.” Eddie said, picking up the receiver.
“Munson’s Mortuary Services. You got the purse, we got the hearse. Are we picking up or dropping off, cause - ” Eddie cut out mid bit. He grimaced, looking back at Dustin. “I - uh, hey. Look this really isn’t a good - “
Dustin was only really half ease dropping as he tried to order his session notes correctly. Eddie was talking quietly for the first time in his life, holding the receiving close to his mouth, which was making it kind of difficult.
“No, it’s fine… I’m serious, it’s fine. Yeah, I’m sorry too…. Well, I was being an asshole. Look this really isn’t a good time…” Eddie glanced back over his shoulder at Dustin. Dustin tried to look busy. “Just, don’t worry about it, seriously…. Yeah. Sure, talk to you later, ok?” Eddie started to move the phone away before bringing it back to his ear.
“This week? I’m not sure… Maybe. I’ve just - I got a lot of stuff going on… I’ll call you… Yeah, bye.”
Eddie hung up, hand lingering on the phone for a long moment.
“Who was that?” Dustin asked, so casually it was probably immediately suspicious.
“Funny how you think I won’t make you walk home.” Eddie said, a bone dry threat. That roughly translated to, it was definitely totally my secret girlfriend. “Pack your shit, dude. I’m calling Wayne so you better be ready to go by the time I’m done.”
It seemed like Eddie took it to heart what Dustin said about them never hanging out anymore. That week, Eddie really seemed to be making an effort to start making time for him again.
And the rest of the party of course.
On Monday, Eddie suggested Hellfire (plus Max!) hit the arcade after school. He didn’t give them any quarters, but that was fine, they had enough loose change to have a good time. They’d just need to plan ahead and bring Steve next time.
After school on Tuesday, Dustin called to see if Eddie wanted to keep working on the one shot. Which he couldn’t cause Corroded Coffin had band practice.
So instead, he invited Dustin tag along. It came with the strict stipulation he kept his mouth shut, his ass glued to the couch, and he not try to touch anything, on pain of a swift and merciless death. But Dustin’s come to understand Eddie’s threats have a lot more to do with his penchant for dramatics than any honest hostility.
Eddie was just heading out the door when Dustin called so he said he’d come grab him from his place on the way to Jeff’s.
Dustin thought for a moment about changing out of his pun-derful shirt but ended up scrapping the idea for time.
He kind of regretted it when Eddie rolled up. Music loud and looking, as always, too cool for school. Summer was still fading, so he was wearing a loose, faded Cult shirt with the sleeves cut off. He had more tattoos than Dustin realized (all of them ugly.). There was a red flannel tied round his waist and he was wearing a thin leather bracelet.
Dustin couldn’t pull off a leather bracelet in a million billion years probably.
“Little mans sitting in on practice tonight.” Eddie announced as they walked into Jared’s garage. He got a scatter of hey’s and what’s up’s.
Dutifully, Dustin belined it for the couch. He sat next to the plastic Halloween skeleton that was already sitting there posed to watch (Dustin was introduced to him as Manny).
Eddie seemed to switch into DM mode, someone had to keep the boys focused and on track.
Dustin sat still and didn’t touch anything, which was easy enough.
But come on, their music was way too awesome for a passive listening experience.
Gareth, Jared, and Jeff seemed to appreciate his enthusiasm. Still, Dustin made sure to keep distractions to a minimum. A reasonable minimum, at least.
“God, you guys are just so - “ Dustin rambled. It had gotten dark outside and they were started to pack up their gear.
“Metal?” Eddie said, winding up his guitar chord with a smile.
“Metal as hell.” Dustin agreed, standing and walking over.
“We’ll make a public menace outta you yet.” Eddie said proudly.
“You can always bring the kid around more during practice.” Jeff said to Eddie. The rest of the band nodded around and shrugged.
“Actually having a live audience every once in a while couldn’t hurt.” Gareth said, nodding his head at Manny. Him and Jeff were dragging his drum kit back into the corner of the room.
“Yeah?” Dustin asked, grinning.
“Maybe you’ll pick up a thing or two.” Eddie grinned back, shoving at him a bit and fucking up Dustin’s hair.
“You’d teach me?” Dustin asked, swatting him away. Eddie shrugged easily.
“Oh man. That’d be so cool!” He said. “Maybe next time I could bring some of the other guys? Oh, and Steve could come too!”
Jared practically choked on his instant laughter.
“The King?” He said sarcastically. “Yeah, sure - you wanna bring King Steve here, to sit on the ratty couch in my garage and listen to us thrash around and scream for a few hours?”
“I dunno, could be pretty entertaining.” Gareth elbowed Jeff, nodding down towards Eddie. He was on his knees, focusing intently on tucking his Warlock away in its hardcase. Gareth leaned in closer and whispered. “He’s getting a little too cocky with those guitar solos, don’t you think? Could use a chance to play under pressure.”
“Oh, that does sound entertaining.” Jeff snickered, just as amused by the prospect.
“Can it.” Eddie said, without looking up.
“Eddie?” Dustin insisted, looking to his DM for backup. They were talking like Steve was gonna march in here and just start heckling. Or throwing tomatoes at them or something.
“Sorry kid, they’re right. He’d probably hate it.” Eddie shrugged.
“Come on, it’ll be cool! I could at least ask? You don’t know he’ll hate it.”
“Yeah, I’m sure Steve Harrington would think our heavy metal band is so totally cool.” Jared said flatly, as he leaned over to grab the handle on his bass amp.
“Hey. I saw a Metallica tape in his car the other day!” Dustin said to Jared. Jared’s eyebrows climbed, surprised. Maybe even a little impressed, though clearly too stubborn to admit it.
Dustin turned back to Eddie. He was still expecting him to come to Steve’s defense. But he stayed quiet, barely a part of the conversation. “Come on, I thought you two were friends now.” He accused.
“Sure, Harrington’s fine.” Eddie shrugged.
“Yeah he is.” Jeff muttered under his breath. Gareth puffed up with a badly contained laugh.
Eddie rolled his eyes.
“Right, you blow us all off to go to go smoke weed with him at the drive through, but he’s just fine.”
Jared, who had been bending over to put his amp against the wall, froze in place.
“No fucking way.” Gareth’s head shot up, his eyes blown wide. But it didn’t sound like he was pissed at Eddie for crossing party lines. Not with the massive, disbelieving grin on his face. “You and Harrington? You fucking took him to a drive through?”
“What movie was it?” Jeff shot out, equally delighted.
“Was it a scary movie?” Gareth said. They both scrambled out from behind the drum set, their task wholly forgotten.
“Guys.” Eddie huffed. “Fine. Yeah, ok, we went to go see a movie - So what?”
“And you just, what!? Forgot to mention it?”
“Sure!” Eddie grimaced. He shrugged defensively. “We just - caught a movie. It’s not a big deal.”
Gareth barked out a laugh. Like that, that right there, is the funniest thing Eddie’s ever said.
“Guys.” Jared looked at Jeff and Gareth pointedly, before glancing at Dustin.
“Sorry it’s just…” Jeff paused with his mouth open, incredulous. “Didn’t know you guys hang out now.” He finished. “Ya know, outside the whole - coparenting.”
“We don’t.” Eddie said, tensely.
Dustin frowned as he watched the guys continue to stow their shit. Gareth and Jeff went back to sorting out the drums. “Not a big - “ Gareth scoffed under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief.
The rest of the boys were struggling to contain shiteating grins and Eddie was just pretending not to notice.
Dustin had never known these guys to be such… jerks. Why would it be such a big deal if Eddie and Steve were friends?
Could it really be all because they’re just so - different? The idea of hard rocker Eddie kicking back with a jock even once was just patently absurd? Ridiculous enough they jump straight to teasing him for it?
Dustin’s frown deepened. For a bunch of freaks, that all seemed pretty judgmental.
These guys would come around on Steve. Seems like Dustin would just have to make sure of it.
On Thursday Eddie agreed to pick him up from school.
He was late of course, so Will, Mike, Lucas, and Max had all started towards home by then.
When he did roll into the parking lot, it was in a sweeping wave of orchestral heavy metal.
“Pick it up.” He said impatiently, as Dustin opened the door. Eddie evil eyed the school building while he turned down the music. “Don’t like being here any longer than I need to be outside D&D hours.”
Dustin hopped in. He had a VHS copy of Jaws in his hands. He had left it behind at Lucas’ like two weeks ago and promptly forgot about it. A week later Lucas brought it to school and Dustin had only just re-unearthed it from his locker today. It was daunting just thinking of the fees that were sure to be stacking up by now.
His only salvation was Steve. Who’s thankfully working today.
“I need to drop this off at the movie store and before you say no - “
“Sure.” Eddie said, already starting the van.
“I - that was easy.” Dustin sat back and relaxed against the seat.
Eddie kept his eyes on the road and shrugged.
“I was thinking about renting something anyways.”
They drove straight to Family Video. The door dinged as they walked in.
Robin was sitting behind the counter. Still focused on her crossword she said, “Hi, welcome to Family Video, can I help you find - Oh, hey guys.”
“Hi Robin!” Dustin said, walking up to the counter.
Eddie lingered by the displays. He traced a finger over one of the tapes on the shelf. “Harrington, here?” Eddie asked, inspecting the cover.
Robin rolled her eyes but she was smiling. “You just missed him. It was seriously slow today and he won rock/paper/scissors so - he clocked out early for the day.” Eddie hummed and put his hands in his jean pockets.
Dustin handed Robin his VHS tape.
“This is eight days late.” She frowned at the computer.
“So - “ Dustin said, thinking fast to distract her from errant thoughts of late fees. “how’d you like the flowers?”
“Flowers?” Robin scrunched up her nose at him.
“The flowers Steve got you?” Dustin blurted out before he clamped his mouth shut again. She squinted at him. Suspicious.
“What are you on about?”
Shit. Steve hadn’t got those for Robin had he?
“Nevermind.” Mayday-mayday. Pull up!
Hopefully Steve wasn’t too pissed at Dustin for letting that little detail slip. And Dustin could barely feel bad for blowing Steve’s cover because, what the hell Steve?
Robin’s lip twisted. She looked down her nose at him, regarding him uncharitably. He forced a smile as she stared him down for a moment longer. Then her face cleared. Raising her eyebrows innocently she turned back to the monitor.
“So about that fee. That’ll be five fourty-“
“Ok! I - “ Dustin hesitated. Sorry Steve - that was five dollars he really did not have. “I don’t know. I ran into him a few days ago. And he’d just bought a big thing of roses.” Dustin caved, shrugging and holding his palms up defensively.
“Ooooh.” Robin’s eyes crinkled with a warm smile and her gaze slid somewhere behind Dustin shoulder. Then quickly snapped back into place.
“Oh.” Robin said again. She looked baffled, like the implications of that just hit her and clearly didn’t sit with her right.
“Maybe they were for his mom? His parents are in town aren’t they.” Dustin offered.
“You know what? Yeah, that’s probably it.” Robin nodded vigorously. The poor, love struck girl just immediately latching onto the explanation.
“Nah.” Dustin turned around to look at Eddie. He was still feigning intense interest in that copy of An American Werewolf in London. “His mom is allergic to roses.”
“That doesn’t mean he - ” Robin scrambled. “Maybe he just… forgot, or something. I mean, you know Steve. Total ditz.”
He shrugged. “That’s fine isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I mean, yeah.” Robin said cautiously. She seemed confused more than anything.
Eddie said cooly, hands still in his pockets. A perfectly neutral smile on his face. “Steve’s a free agent, right? He’s free to play the field.”
Jeez, did Eddie have to be so blunt? What ever happened to letting a girl down easy?
“Uh…” Robin said, looking between the two of them uncomfortably. Like maybe she didn’t quite know the answer to that anymore but it was also something she really didn’t want to sort out in public.
Dustin honestly felt a little bit bad for her. Sure they both always say they’re not dating, but clearly she seemed none too thrilled at the idea of Steve going around giving another girl flowers.
Dustin had hoped with the way Steve was talking the other day, he had finally got his head out of his ass and was ready to go public and make them official.
“Hey, man, I’ll meet you in the car, yeah?”
“Sure.” Dustin said.
“Eddie - “ Robin said. Eddie looked over his shoulder, lingering half way out the door. Robin glanced at Dustin. “Uh. Bye.” She finished lamely.
He smiled at her. She didn’t smile back.
Robin went back to the computer. She worked in complete silence. Suddenly the thick clack of the keyboard and the low murmur of the movie on the screen in the corner were way louder. Her brow was set like it gets when she’s stuck on a troublesome crossword.
“Sorry.” Dustin said, his face twisting up with guilt.
Robin glanced side long at him.
“I can talk to him you know.” He said.
“Huh?”
“I can talk to Steve. He shouldn’t do that to you.”
“Jesus, for the last time. We - are not - dating.” Robin said through gritted teeth. She made a frustrated noise. “Do you have to be so… ergh, meddlesome.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” He lied, taking a step back.
“You need to stay out of your friends love lives.”
Yeah well, how about Dustin stops meddling when his friends stop being so dumb about everything. Till then they’ll just have Dustin to thank for sorting out their messes.
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#steddie#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#steddie ficlet#stranger things#dustin henderson#god I love Dustin. what a troublesome bastard#just bamboozled it all up huh?#also just like for clarity. No i Do Not think Steve is dumb#unfortunately Dustin’s fatal flaw he much learn to overcome in this story is#much like Odysseus before him#hubris. so he thinks literally everyone is a little bit dumb it’s called characterization look it up sweaty#also pls accept my humble offering of Personal Corroded Coffin Group Dynamic Headcanon#because I’m friend w a bunch of boys Eddie’s age and whenever I read stories w/ CC they’re not loud enough#and like. of course. of course their gonna tease Eddie about his dumb hate crush on Steve he’s had since literally forever#my headcanon is Steve was regularly brought up by the CC boys because it was the ONE THINGs#like since waaay before Eddie started hanging around the party#and it’s only gotten 10000009% worse since him and Steve started coparenting#god they’re so annoying#and I love them so much 😭
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okay okay okay but possessive-protective Tsukishima in their third year over all friends, not just Yamaguchi anymore. He's too cool. He's aloof. He's a smartass. He hears a rival team talking shit about Hinata's height and goes the fuck OFF on them. Kids start mocking Kageyama and trying to rile him up for his past shit and Tsukishima appears like a wraith to tear them apart. Are Hinata and Kageyama capable of taking care of themselves? honestly, probably. Will that stop Tsukki from literally standing between them and whatever is threatening them? absolutely not. Tsukki doesn't spare kind words for them, he doesnt invite them over and he doesn't call them his friends but the first and and only time a new-to-town bully tries to flip up Yachi's skirt he turns around and punches him so hard he hits the ground. None of them had ever seen him use anything except for his wit and tongue to attack before but when asked about it he just scoffs and rolls his eyes at them and tells them to leave him alone. They all start to understand Yamaguchi a little bit better.
#its with complete conviction that I say tsukishima is an aggressively protective type#he learns that from his brother#let the bastard go a little feral in the name of people he absolutely doesnt consider his friends dont be stupid#Yamaguchi is just proudly watching from the side like “thats my boy”#he's been getting this treatment since middle school and has watched tsukki master his craft#haikyuu#haikyuu first years#karasuno first years#tsukishima kei#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#yachi hitoka
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