#just a lil something i was thinking about the other day

[itneverendshere]

hi! For the bartender!Universe would u mind writing a pregnancy scare? It brings a lot of mixed emotions when they find out she wasn’t pregnant and it ends up a really deep talk about what they want with their future? Thank you so much 💕💕

i got a similiar ask at the exact same time so i decided to combine aspects of both!!! the other request: "this one’s a lil angsty. maybe you have a pregnancy scare and while rafes like super excited for the potential baby, you’re not, the stress of keeping rafe clean and not heading back to rehab lingers your mind".

hope you both enjoy!!!!❤️🫂🤭

 just want you in my life keep you warm at nights - r.c

pairing: rafe x pogue!reader (bartender!reader universe) warnings: pregnancy scare; insecurities

Rafe was sprawled out beside you, his arm draped lazily across your stomach as he scrolled through his phone. You could feel the pressure of his hand pressing gently on your skin, but your mind was a million miles away, your gaze stuck on the ceiling fan.

It felt like everything had been on autopilot for the past few days, your mind preoccupied with one thing—late. Not like a few days late.

More like over a week late.

It wasn’t the first time your period had been irregular, but you couldn’t help but spiral immediately. Rafe and you had been together for three and a half years, living together for a while now and he’d proposed last autumn. But this? This wasn’t part of the plan.

Not yet.

“Hey,” His voice snapped you back to the present, his brows furrowed as he looked at you, concern evident in his blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”

You blinked, trying to force a smile. “Nothing... just thinking.”

He shifted, propping himself up on his elbow to look at you more closely. “Thinkin’ about what?”

You stomach dropped. You hadn’t told him yet. You weren’t sure if there was anything to tell because you hadn’t even taken the test. You weren’t sure if you wanted to. Saying it out loud would make it real. And that terrified you.

Rafe, on the other hand, would probably be thrilled. He’d always talked about kids like they were a given, like it was part of some unspoken future you were destined for. You wanted them too, but the truth? The truth was, the idea of being responsible for another human being when you were still trying to recover from Rafe's scare last year and keeping your shit together now that you’d gotten a promotion at the club—well, it felt like too much.

You couldn’t say that, though. Not to him. So you kept quiet. 

The next day, you stared at the small plastic stick in your hand, heart hammering in your chest as you waited for the result to appear. The bathroom was dead silent, save for the faint drip of the sink, but your mind was anything but quiet.

This one stupid piece of plastic was going to dictate the rest of your life. It could change everything in the blink of an eye. Three minutes. That’s how long it would take to find out if your entire world was about to be turned upside down.

You still hadn’t told Rafe. You didn’t even know how to. His mind was in a good place lately, and you weren’t about to ruin that. After everything we’d been through—the relapse, the rehab, the nights where you weren’t sure if he’d make it out—this was not something you were ready to throw on both of you.

You hadn’t even wrapped your head around it yet. Shit, you could barely breathe just thinking about the possibility. You glanced at your phone, biting your lip as the seconds ticked by.

Almost time. Your stomach twisted into endless knots. He was in the living room, blissfully unaware of the panic attack you were on the verge of having just a few feet away. You could hear him flipping through channels on the TV, probably looking for some show to watch. Part of you felt guilty for not telling him, but how were you supposed to tell him when you didn’t even know what you wanted?

The idea of being pregnant had scared you more than you expected.

Not because you hated kids or anything, you grew up rising Milo for fuck’s sake—it was just the timing. Or maybe it was more than that.

Your mom died shortly after you were born and your dad…well, a drunk piece of shit was hardly a good parental figure. You’d never let yourself think about it before, Rafe had told you how good you were with kids a million times over the years, but you didn’t know how you’d turn out with your own kids. You didn’t want to be anything like them, ever. 

Taking a deep breath, you finally glanced down at the test.

Negative.

Relief took over you so fast it made you feel lightheaded. You hadn’t realized just how much pressure you’d been carrying on your shoulders until it was gone in an instant. Thank God.

Your shoulders slumped as you exhaled, leaning against the sink for support. You felt like you finally could breathe again, like you could relax for the first time in what felt like weeks. There was no baby. No life-altering change. No new responsibility that you didn’t know how to handle.

You closed your eyes. This was good. This was the outcome you needed. No baby, no stress, just… back to normal.

But then, life had a twisted sense of humor and the door creaked open. “Hey, baby, you—”

Your eyes flew open, heart dropping in your chest as you quickly shoved the pregnancy test behind your back. Rafe stood in the doorway, looking at you with his signature confused look—one eyebrow cocked, lips slightly parted, like he’d walked in on something he wasn’t supposed to.

You forced a smile, too wide and too fake, and took a step back, trying to act casual. “Oh, uh, hey! What’s up?” Your voice cracked on the last word, and you internally winced. Smooth.

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “What are you hiding behind your back?”

Shit.

You tried to laugh it off, shaking your head like it was no big deal. “Hiding? Me? I’m not hiding anything.”

His eyes moved to the hand behind your back. “Really? Because it sure looks like you are.”

You swallowed hard, your brain rushing to come up with some excuse, any excuse. 

But the longer you stood there, the more suspicious you looked. And Rafe was nothing if not persistent when he thought something was up. Before you could stop him, he pushed off the doorframe and closed the distance between you two, his hand reaching behind your back in one smooth motion. Your stomach dropped as he grabbed the test from your hand, pulling it out in front of both of us.

He stared at the pregnancy test in his hand, his eyes widening with realization as he slowly processed what he was seeing. What he was holding. His mouth opened slightly, but no words came out at first. He just stood there. 

“Y-You thought you were pregnant?”

The heat rose to your cheeks, and the anxiety that had been building in your stomach for days came back at full force. You were still reeling from the relief of the negative result, but now that relief was giving up space for guilt. You hadn’t meant for him to find out like this, or maybe not even at all. You didn’t want to drag him into the spiral you’d been caught in, not when things had been going so well lately.

“I... I wasn’t sure,” you stammered, looking down at the floor because it was easier than meeting his eyes. “I mean, I was late, and I just…I didn’t know.”

Rafe’s face softened, the confusion in his eyes giving way to concern as he took a step toward you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You swallowed hard, your heart racing again, this time for a different reason. The last thing you wanted to do was lie but telling him the truth felt impossible.

“I didn’t want to stress you out,” you admitted, “I wasn’t even sure if I was, and I didn’t want to freak you out for no reason.”

Rafe’s hand was still holding the test, but now he was looking at you with that intensity he always had when he knew you were telling the entire truth. He wasn’t mad—he never got mad, not anymore—but you could tell he was hurt that you hadn’t let him in. You felt awful about it.

“I wouldn’t have freaked out,” he said gently, stepping even closer until he was right in front of you. “You know that, right? You don’t have to do this alone.”

That was the thing, though. Over the past year you’d spent so long worrying about him, making sure he was healthy, that the idea of burdening him again with your own fears had become...strange.

You didn’t want to be another weight on his shoulders.

“I know, I just…” You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I didn’t know how to feel about it. And I didn’t want you to—”

“To what?” he pressed softly, his voice so calm and reassuring that it made the stress loosen just a little.

You took a deep breath, “I didn’t want you to get your hopes up, I guess. Or feel disappointed if it was negative.”

He set the test down on the counter beside him, reaching out to cup your face in his hands. “Baby, I wouldn’t be disappointed,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “If it had been positive, great. If it’s not, that’s fine too. We’ve got time. It’s not like we have to figure this out right now.”

The lump in your throat made it hard to speak. “You’re really not mad?”

Rafe shook his head, “I wish you would’ve told me what you were going through. I don’t want you to carry that by yourself.”

You closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. There was so much you wanted to say, so many fears you’d been holding onto—not just about the possibility of being pregnant, but about everything. About whether you were even ready for kids at all, about what kind of parent you’d be, about whether you could handle the responsibility when your past still haunted you in ways you hadn’t recovered from.

“It’s not just that,” you whispered, “I don’t know if I’m ready, Rafe. And it scares the shit out of me.”

He was silent for a moment, and when you finally opened your eyes to look at him, his expression was so gentle, so understanding, that it almost broke you.

“Hey,” he pulled you into his arms. “We don’t have to be ready right now. There’s no rush. When you’re ready, we’ll talk about it."

You buried your face in his chest, letting him heartbeat calm you. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and for the first time in what felt like days, you allowed yourself to relax.

“I-I know you want a baby. But—”

He sighed against your hair, lips brushing your temple, “What I want is for you to be happy. And if this doesn’t make you happy right now, I don’t mind waiting. We got forever, remember?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want kids—it was that right now, everything already felt like too much. Planning a wedding, keeping up with work, holding your relationship together after what you both had been through, it was all overwhelming. And then the idea of a baby on top of that? You’d grow crazy.

Rafe’s fingers brushed through your hair, and you just let yourself be in his comfort. But the guilt was still there, eating you whole from the inside. You should’ve told him from the start, not carried it all on your own like you always do.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered into his chest, voice muffled. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you. I just didn’t know what to do. It’s been a lot lately.”

He kissed the top of your head, his hands gentle as they held you. “You don’t have to apologize, baby. You’re dealing with enough already.”

You let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, I think I’m losing my mind.”

The wedding. God, the wedding. You hadn’t even let yourself fully acknowledge how much that had been stressing you out too. You’d dreamed about this day since you were a kid, but now, between caterers, guest lists, dress fittings, and everything else, it felt like a full-time job. And the worst part was, the more overwhelmed you got, the more guilty you felt for not being excited enough about it.

“I just want everything to be perfect,” you admitted, biting your lip. “I want it to be special, but it’s starting to feel like a chore. Like I’m supposed to care more about seating charts and floral arrangements than... than actually enjoying the fact that we’re getting married.”

 “Then let’s cut back. We don’t need some huge, over-the-top thing if it’s stressing you out. I just want to marry you, that’s all that matters to me.”

He always knew exactly how to calm you down, how to remind you what was important when everything else felt a little too crazy.

“But what about your family?” you asked, wiping at the corner of your eyes. “They’re expecting this big thing.”

He shrugged, “They’ll get over it. This is about us, not them. If you want something smaller, we can do that. Hell, we can get married in the backyard for all I care, as long as it’s what you want.”

The sincerity in his voice almost made you want to bawl your eyes out. You took a deep breath, nodding slowly. “I think I’d like that. Something smaller. More us.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he nodded. You let out a sigh of relief, the knot in your chest loosening more. Maybe this was what you needed—to let go of the pressure to have it all figured out. To accept that it was okay to not be ready for everything.

“I love you,” you whispered, leaning into his touch.

“I love you too,” he replied, his forehead resting against yours. “But baby, you have to stop worrying so much about me. I’m okay. I’m doing good, and I’m not going back there. But you’re gonna drive yourself crazy if you keep putting me first and ignoring what you need.”

You blinked, your breath catching slightly. “I’m not ignoring what I need—”

“You are,” he cut in gently, but firmly. “You’ve been doing it for months now. Since the relapse, since rehab. You’ve been carrying all this, stressing about keeping everything together. And I love you for wanting to take care of me, but you can’t keep putting yourself second. It’s not fair to you.”

You wanted to argue, to say you were fine, that it was just what you had to do to keep everything from falling apart. But deep down, you knew he was right. You’d been holding on so tight, so terrified that if you let go, if you stopped worrying about him for even a second, you’d lose him again. 

“I’m just scared,” you whispered, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” Rafe said softly, pulling you closer. “But if you keep this up, you’re gonna lose yourself.”

You closed your eyes, pressing your face into his chest as the tears you’d been holding back finally started to fall. Rafe held you tighter, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back. He didn’t try to hush you or tell you to stop. He just let you cry, let you get it all out, like he knew you’d needed this release for a long time. You couldn’t stop. Everything you’d been bottling up for months was spilling out at once.

Rafe held you tighter, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back. He didn’t try to hush you or tell you to stop. He just let you cry, let you get it all out, like he knew you’d needed this for a long time.

You pulled back slightly, sniffling as you wiped at your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Stop apologizing,” Rafe shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize for feeling what you’re feeling. But you’ve gotta start trusting that I’m okay."

You nodded, swallowing hard. “I know.”

"You’re allowed to let me take care of you too, you know?”

You let out a small laugh, wiping the last of the tears from your face. “I’m not great at that.”

“Meh, you used to be a lot worse.”

“Yeah?” you asked, raising an eyebrow, leaning into his familiar warmth.

“Oh yeah,” he smirked, his hand brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “You used to keep everything so locked up, I’d have to pry things out of you.

His words made you chuckle, despite yourself. It was true. You had gotten better at letting him in—at least compared to before.

“You’ve always been so good at taking care of me,” you whispered, your hand tracing soft patterns across his chest. “But I guess sometimes I still forget that I don’t have to be strong all the time.”

 “You don’t. I’ve got you, baby. I’ve always got you.”

He meant it—every word. This was Rafe at his best, the man who had fought his way back from the darkness, who had become the partner you always knew he could be. The boy you fell in love with, the man you were going to marry and grow old with.

“I’m really trying,” you murmured, blinking back the last of your tears. “I don’t want to keep worrying about everything or trying to control what’s out of my hands. I just want us to be happy.”

“You make me happier than I’ve ever been, and I don’t want you to ever doubt that.”

You hesitated for a second, biting your lip before finally speaking up.

"Rafe?" you said softly, looking up at him. He hummed in response, his hand still tracing slow, comforting circles on your back.

"Are you… are you sure you're not sad about the, uh, not pregnant thing?" Your voice was quiet, unsure. You didn’t know why you felt the need to ask again. Even with all his reassurances, a part of you couldn’t ignore the worry that he might feel disappointed deep down.

He sighed gently, his lips quirking into a soft, understanding smile. "Baby, no," he said firmly, shaking his head as if to emphasize his point. "I promise you, I’m not sad. It doesn’t change anything between us. I told you before—we’ve got time. I’m happy with where we are right now. I don’t need a baby to make me feel complete. You already do that."

You couldn't help but ask again, just to be sure. "Really? You’re not disappointed?"

Rafe sighed softly, moving his hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he looked at you with those steady blue eyes. "Not disappointed. Not sad. I’m just glad you’re here. That’s all I care about. I’m fine with whatever the outcome is as long as I have you.”

"You’re really okay with this?" 

He frowned slightly, his hand coming up to gently tilt your chin so you were looking directly at him. "Listen to me. You could never disappoint me. Okay?"

You still had questions, still had insecurities about the future, but for the first time in days, you weren’t consumed by them and allowed yourself to believe that everything really was going to be good.

"Okay."

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

Forever

@loose1cannon Thank you so much for your request! I was so hyped with the Ace one, but I need to apologise because my angsty wired brain might have made a poo-poo. I'm so sorry if it's too sad! 😫 I promise that the other part of your request will be happy, okay?? I hope you still enjoy it! ❤️

Source for pic

Forever

Word Count: 1270

Tags: fem!reader; angst, so much angst; NSFW; feelings; hurt; sorrow; grief; spoilers for what happens at Marineford; slightly NSFW

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: It has been a year since Marineford and you still can't cope with the loss.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555 @hopelesslover06 @mars-mizuko @sleepykittycx @nerium-lil (guys if you only want to be tagged for specific characters, please send me a message! I don't want to bother you with excessive tagging!!🙏)

|Masterlist|

Rain poured down from the skies mirroring your inner turmoil exactly. The steady downpour cast a sort of halo over your figure. It felt like a shroud. The site was eerily quiet aside from the sounds of the heavy drops crashing against the stone graves. 

And for the thrumming of your heart. 

An unsteady rhythm beating out of sync, skipping a beat now and then, as if it were missing something to make it whole. And it was.

Ace.

One year had passed since he left you, or since you lost him. Honestly, it felt like the world itself had lost him, since he belonged to everyone. He was life itself. And without him, there was only demise. 

“Did you miss me, baby?” His tongue swiped against yours in desperation while his scalding hands roamed your clothed body. “I missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. All day, every day.”

Ace was always so eager for you that his touch singed your clothes, leaving small burn marks on the hem of your shirts or on your jeans. It used to piss you off. You’d scold him saying you didn’t have berries lying around just to buy new clothes and that he should be more careful. He laughed it off, or kissed it off, murmuring that he could buy or steal all the clothes you wanted, or better yet, you could just walk naked.

A sob clawed its way up your throat and scratched it, yearning to get out, needing to be free, but you clamped it down and pushed it back into your insides to fester and rot like all the other feelings of grief, sorrow and despair. 

No more crying. No more sadness. Ace wouldn’t want that. Ace loved your laugh.

“Laugh for me, Sunbeam!” You were both lying on his bed, sheets tangled on naked limbs and sweaty bodies, heaving from exhaustion and pleasure. 

“No. I’m mad at you.” But you weren’t, you were just downcast.

“It’s just a month. I’ll be back before you know it.”

No, no. You can’t go there, this one is too painful. If only you insisted, if only you had pushed further. He wouldn’t have gone after Blackbeard and he would still be here with you. 

Your knees hit the muddied floor with a soft thud as your hands clutched your chest. Slim fingers crumpled the drenched fabric as your breath left your lips in shallow, ragged heaves. “You weren’t supposed to leave me, Ace! Not like this!”

Your arms circled your torso in the only hug you allowed yourself these days: your own. It was nowhere near enough, but then again, there would never be another hug like Ace’s. 

It was crushing, bone-breaking, suffocating. It was home. 

“Ace!”

“I’m back, baby. Missed me, Sunbeam?” With a little jump you were straddling his lap, legs wrapped securely around his waist as his hands rested on your ass. Your mouth devoured him while your fingers tangled in his unkempt greasy hair. “I guess that’s a yes.” 

That smirk. Those freckles. The mischievous glint in his eyes. 

Gone. All gone. Buried in front of you, six feet under and beneath layers of cold, unforgiving dirt. 

Alongside your heart.

You tried to stifle your moans against the pillow, but he would have none of that. Stopping that sinful lapping of his tongue and removing his fingers from inside you, he lifted himself onto his knees and threw the pillow to the other side of the cabin. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

“Ace!” You whisper with a groan of frustration. You were just about to unravel when he left you feeling empty.

“Yes, sweetheart, just like that.” He aligned his leaking tip with your wet entrance and teased, pulling a little mewl from your lips. “But way louder.”

And you did what he told you to.

Was that the last time?

There’s no stopping the tears. You tried, you really did. But they were relentless. You have a million memories from the past and a million and one memories of Ace. You can’t afford to lose any of them.

"God, Ace, why?” The clenching in your chest expands and swells, taking up all the space inside. Filling you like a balloon and you feel ready to pop. How are you supposed to survive without him? One year was already hell, how can you survive another one?

And another one…

And another one…

“Smile, Sunbeam!”

“You’re shining, love!”

“Ah, that laugh right there, I could die a happy man.”

“You make me feel worthy.”

“I can’t live without you, baby.”

“Don’t ever leave me. I wouldn’t make it.”

You didn’t leave him. You kept your promise. He was the one who left. And now how are you supposed to move on with your life as if what made you live wasn’t ripped apart from you? How is a sunbeam supposed to shine when there is no reflective surface?

How can you be light, when all you feel is darkness?

“Ace… This was never supposed to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to break me…"

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you.”

“You’re my life.”

“My happy, little Sunbeam.”

“My love.”

Getting up on wobbly legs you took another two steps forward. Your tears mixed with the rain, salt and water. Pain and grief. Hurt and sorrow. Reaching with trembling, frail fingers, you grabbed the remnants of Ace’s hat. It was torn and tattered, the beads were barely hanging on, but it was still there.

A desperate wail left your lips as you fell back down, your legs no longer supporting the weight of your misery. This time, you let the sobs climb all the way out. And you cried as you had never cried before. Sobs, hiccups and ragged breaths mingled with the sound of approaching thunder.

But none of that compared to the tempest inside. It roared, raged and crashed, drowning you in its violence, dragging you to the pits of sorrow and darkness and you had no idea how to climb out of there anymore. Not without him. 

But then there was a sudden calmness. A break amidst the most violent of storms and then the echo of a whisper, soft and unmistakable. 

“You’ll be okay, Sunbeam.”

Ace’s voice. A gentle murmur in your soul. Perhaps a conjured thought your troubled mind had made up, but you’d take it.

You clutched his worn-out hat against your chest, wishing there was still a lingering scent of him anywhere, but he had disappeared so long ago. The rain slowed down and was now just a gentle pitter-patter against the leaves and the graves. 

A sunbeam peeked from behind a dark cloud and landed on your lap, near Ace’s hat and for the first time in a year you felt a sliver of hope on the horizon. You didn’t have Ace anymore, but your love for him would never fade or wane.

Your memories together would still be a part of you.

You would carry him inside you and remember him in those missing, uneven beats of your heart. 

Maybe… just maybe, that would be enough to carry you through. 

“I’ll be okay, love.” You forced a laugh. A bright smile like the ones he used to love. “For you, Ace. I’ll fight for you.”

The sunbeam on your lap flickered, faded behind a cloud and reappeared on Ace’s grave. Hope filled you and took back some of the space that grief and sorrow had claimed as territory. You’d learn to shine again, someday…

For him. 

For Ace.

For your love.

[https-murdock]

Void - Matt Murdock

summary: Matt leaves a void behind him, that you wish he would fill

word count: 427 is a lil baby

warnings: angst

note: felt like writing a lil angstyyy one unlike me!

Life felt like a big, empty hole everytime he left. It was like there was nothing in your peripheral that mattered if he wasn’t present.

You watched him in his red suit, leaving to protect everyone like he always did. Matt pours his heart into protecting others but it always leaves you wondering - who protects Matt?

You’d give everything for him, just to see a gentle smile in the mornings. Only to make him realise that the most simple actions from him are what saves you. From the way he says, “Good morning, sweetheart.” when you first wake up, to the way you follow his breathing pattern after he finally falls into a peaceful sleep.

“Stay with me.” You whisper, his lift has fallen into darkness, bar the blinding lights of the blue billboard outside. “I can’t.” He says back, yet there’s not much conviction behind it this time.

Usually Matt knows how to say no, how to convince people of things - that’s his job after all - but with you, it’s different. He can never give a definite no.

“You can. Stay, we’ll fall asleep together, like normal people.” You speak, and it’s almost a question the way your voice leaves your month.

Matt would give anything for normalcy. A life of just being at home, coming back from work to seeing your face, being able to hold you. Yet, he somehow feels as if he is still dragging you down to hell with him each time you ask him to stay.

There’s something about a normal life he wishes he could have - and yet a normal life would’ve never brought him you, his most prized possession. He could never turn back time if you weren’t there to welcome him.

“Sweetheart, i’d love to but you know i can’t.” He’s opposing, but you can somehow see it in his body language amongst the darkness that all he wants is to fill the void you both feel when he isn’t around.

You don’t speak now, you wish the darkness that’s fallen over everything would swallow you up in its wake, dreading the moment you see his red suit step out of the door again. You never know if he’s coming back, mind unable to sleep, unable to think about anything else apart from the state he’ll come back in.

But this time, when he leaves, he turns and says, “i love you.” before closing the door behind him, and you often wonder if, one day, you’ll be enough to make him stay the night.

—

tags

@lambmurdock @parker-murdock @silas-aeiou @blushingrn @audreyclimbs

[icarusredwings]

would you recommend takin' over the asylum

Yes! And not only because of David but also the other charater's arcs are very intresting too!

It's on youtube for free and is only about 7 episodes.

TOTA discusses topics that were seen as very taboo at the time it was produced/written.

While we as mature veiwers can watch this and say "Okay yes there is misinformation" we have to remember that this was made before even going to a therapist was something people did regularly and openly admited it. If you went to a phycologist back then or even a therapist you were looked down opon.

This show shows and talks about things so subtly that you won't pick them up unless you've been there, OR you pay attention well. For example, one of the things with Campbell is that he is very "ego" driven, and Eddie has to learn how to balance him to keep him from toppling over and becoming manic. For example you'll see a lot of episodes Eddie will praise Bain and then scold him afterwards because in the begining episodes he gives Campbell too much praise/trust and it makes him have a break down because as I explain it to some "Once you get to the top of that cliff, you fall off"

At the very begining the viewer and Eddie are mislead to assume Campbell is a staffmember or a volunteer because of how open of arms he has, hes so eager to help and be useful, hes kind, and as eddie says "He dosn't *seem* looney?" And this is because he's very managable but his parents couldn't so sent him away.

Another reason I recommend it is the diversity of the acting and patiants. People often pin him as the silly side kick charater but Davids acting brings his story to a whole new level.

Campbell is also very energetic compared to most patients, and I think he's one of the youngest ones they have so he gets excited about things VERY quickly. He's jumping all over the place. Lil manic puppy. He always gets so happy to Eddie too, its very clear hes attached to him which (if you know) its very common for bipolar/ manic deapressivss to have that *one* person. This is what I mean by subtleness.

This show also includes topics such as (count this as a trigger warning too)

Giving up your boring job to follow your dreams (which was just ridiculous back then)

Immigration

Unfair justice system

Adhd

Ocd (id say her charater is most likely the worst portrayed but when you realize why it breaks your heart)

Abusive relationships

The taboo idea of dating a 'looney'

Quiting smoking for the better

Bipolar /Manic depressive disorder

Child loss

Self harm

Self ending

Grief

Mutism

Autism

Medical abuse of patiants/manipulation

Substance abuse

Different coping mechanisms

Homelessness

Another thing about this show I like is Eddie is very open to them, he treats them like people, he gets nervous and worried they wont enjoy his company even which means he cares enough about them to think their opinions matter whilst another worker states that they're loonies, no one cares what they want.

He takes care of Campbell a lot as well because- well.. He's a bit of trouble. A little scamp he is. But hes so cute tho. And YES David Tennant's accent IS in this one. It's SO much more thicker then say Crowley or the Doctor.

SPOILERS

Hell there's a woman who they claim is speaking in tounges but she's just speaking a foreign language in which Eddie only takes like 2 days to figure out because he had the nerve to LITSEN to her and try to see what she was saying instead of telling her to speak english and to take pills. The sad bit about this, though, is she becomes homeless because of getting kicked out of the mental hospital.

Yet another theme I like about this show is that A. The colors are just bright enough to keep attention but not get a head ache, B. Bain behaves exactly the way you would expect a teen experiancing issues would, happy, snappy, sad, overly confident all at once, in a blink. C. Eddie meets this woman with a mean dog and yet Eddie forgives this dog many times despite it tried to bite him.

The woman was older and was testing eddie to see if he's a good person or not, no matter how annoying she was to him, he treats her with upmost respect and kindness. She ends up paying him a lot to fix the windows, which gives him extra cash to spend on one of the girls he was intresting seeing as hes very respectful to her despite her depression and I want to almost guess Post Partum but I actually don't know,

ANYWAY He even takes her to see his grandparents and adopts kittens just for her because she loves kittens and some delinquents killed her other kittens.

In most stories, the doctor or patiant is odd and tries to manipulate the other into going out with them, but whenever she declines, he only nods and goes away. It doesn't feel forced either. It's very sweet.

Anyway YES. Please watch it like holy shit I don't have anyone to talk to about it!! The lady who wrote it was actually bummed it flopped because of how progressive it was but is happy its becoming popular now! Love you Donna Franceschild!

[giggly-squiggily]

Hiiii! I hope you're doing well. This is my first time requesting so I'm a lil scared. I request Lee Megumi and Ler Itadori. Megumi was looking a little down and our precious pink head wanted to cheer him up.

*dances after reading this prompt cause it's utterly perfect* YES! Good gracious how I love some Lee!Megumi! He's my favorite JJK character! :D I've gotcha covered, anon! Some Ler!Yuji coming your way!

CW: Swearing

Cloud 9 (Taglist Peeps):

@thatbigbisexual29 @duckymcdoorknob @gladdygirl18 @baby-tickles2022 @cupcake-spice13 @rachi-roo @mystwrites @chibisstuff @imjusthere07 @sevenincubistolemyheart @riisada @sp1racle @happy-trenchcoated-impala @r-ine_lovesu

Yuji walked right past his room, only to stop- backtrack, and stare at him. Eyes wide and brows quirked, he took in the slump in his shoulders, the frown on his lips, the redness lining his wet lashes. “‘Gumi?”

No response. The other boy merely looked at him. It was enough for Yuji to come in fully, shut the door behind him and crawl into bed. “What’s going on, Gumi? Talk to me.”

“...” Megumi looked like he wanted to, but the words weren’t coming. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, averting his gaze before finally settling on: “I’m just not okay right now.”

Yuji’s brow furrowed even more, then he quickly gathered up Megumi in his arms, pressing Megumi’s face into his chest and squeezing him gently. “I’m here. It’s gonna be okay now.”

Muffled sounds came, but Yuji just petted his head. “Shhhh. I got you. I got you.”

“Yuji- too tight!” Megumi gasped out. The pink haired boy yelped and released him some, giving him the room to lean back and breath. “Gah! Ugh..I thought I was gonna die!”

“Pfft- like I’d ever let that happen!” Yuji snickered. “At least you’d die smelling something nice, right?”

Megumi stared at him. Yuji blinked, then he reached out and sniffed down his shirt. “Oo! Yeah- no. Definitely need to shower.”

Megumi made a small noise, biting his twitching lips. Yuji saw an opportunity and ran with it.

“Oh, so you agree?” Yuji pretended to grow upset, the hands around Megumi curling into claws. “You think I stink like the bathroom after Tempura Tuesday. You think I smell god awful like that one perfume Nobara bought, don’t ya?”

“Y-Yuji!” Megumi shivered when those claws began to move, twitching along the backs of his ribs as he squirmed. “K-Knock it off! I d-didn’t say an-ny of thahaht!”

“You were thinking about it!” Yuji pointed out, unable to keep his facade as he watched Megumi start to giggle. “I could see it in your eyes! You can’t tell me any lies!”

“Gaha! Geahahhahaha, Yuhuhuhuji! Cohohome on, dohohohon’t!” Megumi reached up to shove him away, but his push had no strength. Whether it was from his earlier misery or Yuji’s otherworldly muscle, he didn’t know. What he did know however was Yuji had him trapped. “Gehehhehet ohohohoff!”

“No way! This is the first time I’ve seen you smile all day!” Yuji rolled them over so he was on top, putting his weight to use as he danced his fingers up and down the brunette’s sides. “I’m not stopping until I’m sure that smile of yours stays on!”

“Ahh! Aheahhahahahhaa shihhihihi-” Megumi thrashed more at the pressure Yuji was putting on him- the fact he was properly stuck worsened the ticklish feeling. He flailed his hands about trying to grab anything on the other boy- his hair, his hoodie- even a tickle spot. Alas, his efforts were for none. “Yuhuhuhuhuji yohohohou soohohohn of a bihihihihihitch!”

“Ooo, Gumi said a bad word! Gumi said a bad word!” The pink haired teen cackled in delight. He dragged his fingers up to Megumi’s armpits, all but squealing in glee when the other boy slammed his arms down with a shout. “Bad spot? I thought mine were terrible! Hehehehe!”

“YUHUHUJI!” Megumi barked out a laugh, grabbing at his shoulders and digging his fingers in. It did nothing to stop him, but Yuji did take the hint with a wince. His hands moved back down to his waist, a bad spot but not nearly as ticklish. “Aheahhahahaha, shihihihihit! Yohoohhoohu gohohohohoohd?”

“Yeah, nothing too bad. Nobara bit me once when I tickled her.” Yuji snickered at the giggly snorts and wheezes Megumi let out. “I think I still have the teeth marks! She’s like a cat when you get her. You however- you’re more like a dog!”

“Oohohohoh woohohohohow! Hohohow orihihihginal-AH FUHUUHUHUHUCK!” Megumi practically shrieked when his hips were squeezed, another spot proven to be rather deadly. Yuji gleamed like the morning sun. “NOHOHOHOO DOHOHOHOOHOHN’T!”

“Awww, does it tickle, Gumi? Huh? Does it?” Yuji cooed at him, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together as he carried on digging his thumbs in. “Is the sad whittle Gum-Gum finally starting to feel better-”

Given past experiences tickling his friends, you’d think Yuji would have learned by now how things usually end.

A press into a particular sensitive bundle of nerves. A lurch. Seconds later- Yuji was seeing stars, Megumi’s face colliding into his own. He flopped over and off the shadow teen with a low groan, rubbing at his face. “Oww..”

“Ugh, damn..” Megumi groaned as he did the same, eyes wet with new tears from the pain. “Sorry. How’s your head?”

“No complaints.” Yuji responded automatically. He froze, as did Megumi.

Then…

“Pfft- gehahahhahahahaha!” Megumi cackled, wincing some with one hand still on his forehead. “Gohoohohd, that was stuhuhuhpid!”

Yuji was laughing just as hard, his headache residing as he watched Megumi choke on his mirth. “It’s your fault for showing me that movie! Seriously though- are you okay? I know I have a thick skull.”

“Heh, yeah- I’ll live.” Megumi adjusted in bed, turning onto his side so he could face him. “Erm…sorry, about your head. And erm…thanks.”

“Oh?” Yuji asked, grinning at Megumi’s blush.

“Shut up. I’m trying to have feelings. Gross.” The brunette scrunched up his nose before looking at him again. “Seriously. Today was…I don’t know. I just woke up depressed and stayed that way. I didn’t know it at the time, but I really needed a friend. So…thanks.”

Yuji’s teasing grin faded into a look of genuine awe. He started to smile too, if not a little wobbly. “Heh…yeah, well that's what friends are for. If you’re sad, I want to fix it.” He reached out, lightly shoving Megumi’s shoulder. “Though I’m still kinda mad you think I smell!”

“You’re the one comparing yourself to a toilet.” Megumi reminded, leaning in and taking a small sniff. “Now that you say it though…I can smell it now.”

“Oh you son of a- Get over here!” Yuji threw himself onto a grinning Megumi, going for his hips once more. Just as he got it going, the door flew open.

“What the hell is going on-” Nobara yelled out, pausing seeing the antics before her. “Oh, it’s tickle Megumi time?”

“No! No, it’s nohohohot! Noba-RAHHH!” Megumi shrieked as she threw herself into the fray, joining in with a sinister giggle. Soon the room was filled with laughter once more- a mix of all three of them.

Just outside the door, Gojo watched on with a soft expression. Nodding, he turned and left, the sound of his students lightening his steps.

Thanks for reading!

[isa-ghost]

*breaks down ur door* ramon n phil hcs perhaps?

YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Phil headcanons masterlist

If Ramon knew where Phil was from, he'd desperately want to see the Hardcore World builds (not that Phil canonically built them), and all of Phil's farms (now those he DID build).

If Phil knew Create it'd be fucking OVER for the Federation, with his and Ramon's powers combined and the additional insanity that Tubbo and Pierre can bring? SHEESH.

Of the OG eggs that aren't his own, Ramon is Phil's favorite, but he'll never say that.

Hot take but (before Fitpac was anywhere near close to being a thing), Phil was the one standing in Spreen's place. At least early on, with how often he & Chayanne would join Ramon & Fit on adventures.

Ramon's death on that airship was the first moment it REALLY struck Phil that the eggs can die. Like that's a reality, not just a scary unlikelihood or something. It can and will happen in the blink of an eye.

Phil absolutely adores the way Ramon became such a fierce protector of the other eggs, especially his sisters. It's always touched him how adamantly Ramon fights to give his siblings the most normal childhood they can. He just wishes the lil guy would acknowledge he deserves that too.

Actually on that note I could write a whole ass analysis of how Phil and Ramon can sometimes think/operate similarly, but I'd have to binge a bunch of Ramon moments to get enough material. But like. Do you see my vision? With the way they're both self-sacrificial to sometimes detrimental degrees?

Present day, one of the memories that gives Phil the most bittersweet nostalgia for the "good days" on the Island are the ones where he & Chayanne and Fit & Ramon would be wandering the savannas just exploring and looting random shit. It was nerve-wracking, yeah. Every adventure with the eggs was, this is Mr. Hardcore we're talking about here. But there's something so special about the banter with Fit while they watched Chayanne & Ramon demolish whatever mobs they encountered.

Speaking of demolishing mobs, there is something so inexplicably and unreasonably funny to Phil about watching Ramon (or Dapper or Pomme for that matter) absolutely STACKED in a suit of armor or carrying some massive fuckoff weapon when he is just the littlest guy 🤏🏻🤏🏻 Like the absurdity of this funky lil orb creature with obnoxiously chunky armor and the world's bulkiest weapon is just Comedy Gold to Phil.

Although Phil only ever knew surface level stuff (if that), if he ever heard the extent of how ride or die Ramon was with Fit & his secrets about Whatever (data collection, Madagio, etc), it'd give Phil a whole new level of admiration for him.

Bird brain mimicry sometimes made Phil say "Ramon" with a (badly, Britishly) rolled R the way Fit always would.

He wishes the eggs were around for the whole Maze thing because he guarantees Ramon would've found some kinda way to either Create his way to a solution or brute forced it. That kid would've 100% cracked the code to that stupid fucking Maze.

Phil always loved the way Ramon was so observant. That kid would notice details of things or traits of certain people that nobody else would. Not only did it give him a special layer of thoughtfulness to put into the things he did for & gave to other people, but it's a valuable skill to have as a survivalist.

I can't believe I only just now thought if this one but Phil absolutely fucking TREASURES the way Ramon softened Fit up. He's always known Fit as this rugged, mysterious wild card with a dangerous streak, which– Don't get Phil wrong, he was & is down bad for it. But to see something finally put some long-term genuine warmth in those eyes and a smile lacking malice on that face? And for that something to be a brilliant, silly little kid that radiates the same kind of energy as Fit himself? Priceless.

If there was any egg Phil would consider capable of fending for themselves, it'd be Ramon. Ideally, no egg would ever have to. At least not forever. But if he had to name one he thinks could survive alone? Yeah, Ramon. And not just because he's the son of a 2B2T veteran.

[peachyfnaf]

I'm sorry but "MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER<3" really made my day and I needed you to know

🤣🤣🤣

I can't believe Nexus is bullying peepaw war criminal.

Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?

(Please talk about baby cringe Lord Nexus, I want to hear about your blorbo 🙏)

That's because Nexus IS my beautiful princess with a disorder, I'll have you know <3 they're diseased but it's okay I can give them their tetanus and flu shots and it'll all be better I GOT THIS

But. ahem, okay, blorbo yapping time. I'm not even gonna say "I'll try to keep this short" because I know it wont end up that way HAHAHAHAHA

"Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?"

I... have absolutely no idea!!!1! (and also it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize peepaw war criminal was Ruin KJDFHSDF)

The most frustrating thing about canon Nexus is how his morals, motivations, and goals seem to see-saw back and forth all the time. at first, he became how he is now due to Solar's death. he spiraled in his grief, identity-issues, and abandonment. but... now his motivation is to become an all powerful god??? while it's most likely that NSP is at play and affecting his thought process, it's... well, it's really hard to take him seriously as a villain because of it, lol. for an audience to enjoy, and even sympathize in some cases, with a villain, their goals and motivations have to be concrete. they have to be relatable, or at least understandable, but Nexus' whole thing is... not, Imho. and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way!!!

I see a lot of people calling Nexus "cringe", and the thing is, when it comes to canon Nexus, they're not really... wrong??? The worst thing Nexus has done so far is make Old Moon see his past victims, which is fucked up of him to do, but.. so far, that's kind of it??? other than that, his "villainy" consists of saying empty threats and cheesy evil one-liners. hell, he was supposed to kidnap Sun yesterday but instead spent the whole episode yapping and venting to him, chasing Sun around in the worlds darkest game of tag before getting some lead right in the face dkfjhsdfsd

Also, notice how he's only targeted Old Moon when it comes to actual physical violence? not Lunar, Earth, Solar, or Sun, but Old Moon? yeah, I did too. we already know that Nexus does everything because he's lashing out, but as of rn the only target he's gotten his hands on physically being O.M...? well. I think it says a lot. cause' yeah, he sure as shit scared the life out of the other Celestials, but he's never put his hands on them!! the only other one of them he harmed physically was Earth- and not only was he not aiming for her, she was just in the way- he felt immediate regret for his actions once in space, and has yet to even see Earth ever since that day.

So, I really have no idea if he's going to be "redeemed" or not. one second he's showing signs he might be, and the next he's falling further down the "pretty badly written villain" rabbit-hole. if he does get something akin to a redemption arc, he'll prolly mostly be accepted in the eyes of the viewers, considering a lot of peeps sympathize or at least understand where he's coming from, but I seriously doubt the other Celestials would take him back. the only one's who might see him as family/a close friend again are Sun and Solar, but even then, nothing would ever be the same.

I hope he gets redeemed, or at least freed from the hold Dark Sun has on him and he's able to live his own life, I really do. at his core, Nexus is a good person. a good person who was crushed under the weight of the shadow of the man he was born under. and we know this because he used to be New Moon. sweet, dorky New Moon.

New Moon, who made inventions like sentient knives and whoopee cushions. New Moon, who had matching My Little Pony stickers with his best friend. New Moon, who bought a whole ass island-luxury-house for Sun because he wanted to make him feel better and give him the proper space to heal. and New Moon- the poor freshly-baked A.I who gave his all to make sure he could do everything that Old Moon could, but it just wasn't enough. he tried and tried and tried, but it wasn't enough.

So yeah, idk if he's getting one in canon, but to me, he more than deserves a good ending, for the life he was given. let him be at peace.

[pumpkinsy0]

Hcs for curly missing pony in reform👀

i have a slur just for them

•it happens more times than curly would rlly like to ever admit

•in reform they cut his hair and one of the things hes thinking is if his hair will grow back good enough for him to immediately see pony after hes out, sometimes they fuck his shit UP and he wants to look good for his man who r we to hate

•other frequenters of the reform notice when curlys head is in the clouds a bit and they clown him for it

•hes TRYING to b on his best behavior to get off easy and maybe get let out early, he does that lil tally mark thing to count to the days till he gets out

•tims pretty much his messenger bird and updates him on whats going on on the outside worlds and curly tells him what to say to pony since yknow, he cant

•tim can basically tell that curlys bursting out the seams to ask about pony, so sometimes tim purposely doesnt bring pony up to see how long it would take before curly just straight up asks, he thinks its a lil funny to mess w curly that way

•”pony asked about u” and curly perks up and says “what did he say” so fast, like calm down????omg????

•IF we r letting pony see curly off before he leaves, curly will always replay that moment, hes a desperate guy what can u say

•there r some things curlys allowed to take w him to the reformatory and curly always makes sure to take something curlys given him

•ok look, in the reform, its not uncommon for quick flings to form out of just like general desperation, and curly USED to do it, but now he wants nothing to do w it, he rlly just cant pretend hes not w pony

•curly aint no artist, but if hes REALLY desperate, he draws pony, but those drawings rarely if ever leave the reformatory, its either this or he gets one of the more artistic guys to draw pony (unknowingly)

•curly is so fidgety when its time to go home, if he thinks he doesnt look good, he gives himself a few hours or a day before he goes to see pony again, he wants a good impression!!!

•speaking of his excitement, sometimes curly tries to come off as #cool and nonchalant, so he tries to get his excitement all sorted out first as well, before pony sees him, he NEEDS to control how pony perceives him☝🏽☝🏽

•when they meet up again, their convo is just one long beat around the bush of ”i missed u so bad omfg, i needed u badly”

[iniqiiiluvs]

In class right now and I don’t understand the assignment like at all soooo…

JJK TEACHERS AT AN AMERICAN (predominantly black) SCHOOL

Note:there’s only one mention of Hispanic kids in Nanami I had to add Hispanic people cause they got some fire music too ‼️🔥

Gojo

It’s 50/50 with him

Some kids love him and others not so much

Isn’t hated at all tho

Has a candy stash

Some kids come in at random times to get candy

Some kid would be arguing with him and they would start laughing randomly

Then the kid would get mad again cause he laughed but they’re just like fuck it and forget why they were ever mad in the first place

Got so happy when a kid dressed up as him for “dress up as a teacher day”

(I think that’s what it’s called )

He don’t take phones he just lets them and if they miss the lesson…Oh well 🤷🏾‍♀️

Nanami

Is so so so loved by the girls

With the boys..it’s 60/40

Some dude dapped him up and he was SOOOOOO Awkward

Will not stand for misogyny or racism (he would stand for anything discriminatory but as a teenage girl these are the things I hear the most)

A lil boy saying something about a girl in the class calling her a bop,bitch,or just being mean in general is a instant write up

Some edgy non black boys calling a black person the n word or making slave “jokes” is another write up

He don’t play about that shit

Loves the music the black and Hispanic kids put him on

Someone recommended “boogie wonderland” and he loves it sm

Is good with the kids with anger issues

Principal Yaga

Nope I’d say only 20% of students would like him and that’s being generous 💀

He’s funny sometimes

You’ll always hear a student talking shit about him

Yeah

Utahime

70/30

Also more popular with the girls

she’s unintentionally funny

Also one of those teachers who you would hear her name everywhere but you wouldn’t see her until later in the year lol

Always has music playing in her class

Strict but nice

Let’s students touch up their makeup

SHOKO

Let’s students with bad mental health stay at her office

Cares about all kinds of health fr

Never smokes on school grounds one cause it’s illegal and two she doesn’t wanna hurt her patients

Low key gets scared when kids come in from a fight

Not of them but fights be getting serious and she doesn’t want anything life threatening to happen

[astorytotellyourfriends]

Eddie installs the Ring doorbell when Chrissy asks him to.

Well, he says he will when Chrissy asks him. She brings it home one day and waxes poetic about how it'll make her feel safer on the nights he has to work late and she's all alone at home. He kind of thinks it's a waste of money but if it makes Chrissy feel better, then he'll agree to it.

It still takes a little over a week for Eddie to actually install it, and if not for Chrissy reminding him to turn off the breaker for that part of the house, he probably would've gotten electrocuted.

He downright refuses to download the app to his phone, saying it's overkill to have it on both of their phones especially when Chrissy's the one who wanted it in the first place. He's rarely home without her, so what good would it be?

Not to mention Eddie threatens to smash his phone several times a week when Robin starts quadruple texting their group chat, so random notifications from their doorbell would probably result in Eddie having to shell out cash for another brand new phone.

It's a little weird to see himself on the grainy video when Chrissy makes him test it out. She scolds him for giving the camera the finger, but she still gives him a kiss in thanks for doing the thing.

(One kiss is never enough, but that's a whole other story.)

He doesn't really think much of the camera after it's installed. It's not like he rings the doorbell when he comes home, so he doesn't even think about the fact that it's motion activated.

Chrissy also doesn't remind him of that until one morning where he wakes up to Chrissy giggling to herself. She hides her phone screen when he rolls over, sleepy and sort of hungover from his night out with Billy. He tries to pry her phone out of her hand so he can toss it aside and cuddle up with her for another couple hours of sleep, but she refuses to give it up.

"What's so funny?" he asks in a low rumble as he makes himself comfortable curled into her side, his cheek on her shoulder.

"You," she says as she finally shows him her screen.

The timestamp reads just before two in the morning, and the video starts with Eddie trudging up the stairs to their front door. He's a little wobbly but he doesn't trip, though he does lean heavily against the door once he reaches it.

Eddie has zero memory of this. It's sort of like having an out-of-body experience, watching his past self huff and grumble as he pats himself down in search of his keys.

But what Chrissy was giggling about was the fact that the Eddie on video is talking about her the whole time.

"...bet you're all cozy and cute in our bed, lookin' like a goddamn doll while you dream. Soft and pretty and perfect just like the first day I met-- godDAMMIT where are my fuckin' keys Jesus Christ I just fuckin' had them I swear to god-- YES finally okay Chrissy baby I'm coming for youuu!"

Chrissy bursts into giggles again as Eddie groans into her shoulder. He tries to grab her phone but she squeals as she keeps it out of his reach, shrieking his name when he abandons the endeavor and opts for tickling her instead.

He finally relents when she tosses her phone onto the nightstand and grabs both of his hands, twisting around to press Eddie onto his back and pin his arms down against the bed.

"You love me," she teases as she pecks a kiss to the tip of his nose and then his lips. Eddie hums against her mouth and makes a face when she pulls away.

"Can't prove it," he teases right back.

"Yuh-huh. I've got it on video."

"That was clearly doctored. Won't hold up in court."

"No?" Eddie shakes his head and Chrissy hums. "Good thing I've got plenty more evidence, your honor."

Eddie grins. "Is that right?"

"Mhmm."

"What kinda evidence?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"Pretty sure that's a violation of--"

Chrissy rolls her eyes and covers Eddie's mouth with her own again, kissing him harder this time. When she pulls back, Eddie's completely forgotten his argument. She releases her hold on his arms and he takes her face in his hands, chuckling softly when he hears her breath catch.

"I love you," he murmurs, watching as Chrissy's mouth breaks into a wide smile.

"I knew it."

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

[moeblob]

Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF MASS EFFECT: VIRMIRE

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard and Cmdr. Dominik Shepard With: Lt. Kaidan Alenko, Gun. Chief Ashley Williams, Urdnot Wrex, and Tali'Zorah nar Rayya Ft. Special Guest Appearances by: Spec. Saren Arterius and Sovereign There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it... Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)

[megumi-fm]

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[risingsunresistance]

my bag may not be as ✨aesthetic✨ as some people's but IDC IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!! all my little things on display yayyyyy

wouldnt be complete without my "nether star" on the side :3c