#just a fun little fact apparently he was I guess pretty fond of the series

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

we discussed why Ridley Scott's film is unlikely to be the way we would like it to be

so I have a question: what films/series about Napoleon more or less correctly represent real history? or just good in your opinion

oh man, I'm a bit of a picky person when it comes to Napoleonic films/series, but not in a logically consistent manner so people get a little confused sometimes. Which is fair.

I'll give you two rec's:

My favourite Napoleon movie is Monsieur N. I think what makes it work is that it's a historical AU, basically, and fills all my favourite tropes. Premise is that Napoleon, through a weird magic (?) thing, switches fates with his valet/spy Cipriani and manages to escape St. Helena.

As one can guess, it's only loosely, loosely based in history. The ages of some people are altered (Betsy Balcombe is aged up significantly so she can be an appropriate love interest for Napoleon; Barry O'Meara is in his late thirties/early forties for no apparent reason etc.). I feel like Albine got shafted in being cast as a bit of the Conniving Courtesan. Montholon is positioned as a poisoner, even though by the time the film was made that theory/story had been pretty heavily debunked. They omit Napoleon's crap treatment of Fanny Bertrand after she rebuffed his advances. Napoleon's still played too seriously - but that's a fault in literally almost every production ever.

That said, I love Bertrand in this. Gourgaud makes a rogue appearance and is suitably chaotic. I like Sir Hudson Lowe as well - I feel that Richard Grant was cast perfectly. The visuals are beautiful. It's just gorgeously filmed (I love the first confrontation/meet scene between Napoleon and Lowe - the playing with light, the choice of clothes, the switching through languages etc. it's masterful).

The historical inaccuracy aside, I actually liked the relationship between Napoleon and Betsy. I'm just like "clearly it's another Betsy Balcombe. Funny that two people have the same name on this small island!"

(Obviously, in reality, she was a literal child when she knew Napoleon. He was an uncle/older brother figure to her and she was clearly a surrogate daughter/niece to him. They pranked each other and teamed up to prank Lowe on the regular alongside playing silly games and mucking about.)

I love that it's a multi-lingual production so you have English, French and Corsican being spoken, as appropriate for the characters/people. The sound track is fitting. It's appropriately atmospheric.

So yeah, I am very fond of the film. But it's just a fun, stupid romp.

You can't go in expecting a Real Historical And/Or Accurate Account of Napoleon on St. Helena. Thankfully, the film never positions itself as such a thing. It's very clearly a What If + Fanfiction. I recommend going in and treating it like a slightly more serious Knight's Tale in its approach to history (vibes & essence over facts). If you do that, you'll have a blast. If you go in looking for Historical Napoleon or whatever, you'll hate it.

I also may or may not have a Thing for Philippe Torreton (who plays Napoleon). So. That might also inform my affection for this dumb film.

-----

I remember enjoying the 2002 French miniseries Napoleon (with Christian Clavier and Isabella Rossellini). As with all series and films, it has its issues (there are definite inaccuracies), but I liked it overall. I feel they hit the emotional beats between Napoleon and Josephine really well.

(While she's not older than him in it, at least the actors the same age and she's not like 16 years younger than Napoleon /eye roll.)

The scene when she reams him out during their divorce is powerful (she does this great thing about how he always wanted to make it clear that he's separate from the ancien regime and Not Like Those People but what is he doing now? He's marrying one of Marie Antoinette's relatives. And like, she is calling him out for his political inconsistency, and making the point that it's a bad decision in terms of Optics, but it's also so clearly much more than that. It's well done). Napoleon's reaction when he learns that she's died is heart breaking and well rendered/believable.

There is also humour and convivial moments that are often lacking in historical biopics with him, which I appreciate (love the "you need to take the Austrian uniform off the scarecrow or we'll have an International Incident on our hands" scene).

There's a rogue Coulaincourt who makes an appearance! Nice to see him. Same with Lannes - glad he makes an appearance. Though there's no Duroc or Junot, unfortunately. (Granted, I understand the need to keep the cast to a reasonable amount of people.)

So yeah, it's an entertaining series. It's a bit of a "classic" in the sense that I feel like anyone who has gone through a Napoleon Phase watches it.

----

Truly, the best representation of Napoleon is in Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure. You're welcome.

----

I hope this helps!

[firebirdsdaughter]

What toku shows have you watched?

Uh. Hm. Let me see what I can remember, assuming we’re defining ‘watched’ by ‘seen at least ninety percent of the episodes’:

GoGoV

Boukenger

Gekiranger

Gokaiger

Shinkenger

Kamen Rider OOO

Kamen Rider W

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid

Dairanger

Go-Onger

Kamen Rider Fourze

Kamen Rider Build

Kamen Rider Zi-O

Ryusoulger

Kyuranger

Zyuranger

Abaranger

Zyuohoger

Magiranger

Hurricanger

Gaoranger

Dekaranger

Sun Vulcan

Megaranger

Kamen Rider Wizard

Timeranger

I wasn’t kidding about there being more Sentai than KR… ^^;

And then there’s a few like Gingaman, Ryuki, and Kakuranger where I’ve watched a decent amount of eps, but maybe not enough to consider it as being ‘watched.’ I can sometimes have troubles w/ focusing on one show at a time.

If we’re not limiting ourselves to Toei Toku, though, there’s also: 

Satria Garuda BIMA

Rescue Force

Gransazer

Justirisers

Giant Saver

[shihalyfie]

The relationship between the Yagami siblings

The above line is possibly one of the most vital lines in contextualizing the relationship between the Yagami siblings, but is all too often omitted, and so it can lead to a lot of other questions about whether Hikari has dependency problems or whether Taichi has a natural tendency to be overprotective (also not helped by the fact that Hikari’s own voice actress, Araki Kae, was very fond of joking about Hikari having a brother complex). Once the proper context is applied, however, the relationship between the two ends up saying a lot about both individually!

That's the kind of girl she is! She's always thinking about other people before herself, and she'll never tell anyone that she's in pain or having a hard time, even if it kills her! The thing is, she might not have even wanted to come to this stupid world at all...But when people tell her that the fate of the world is in her hands or something, she could never refuse!... ...That's why...That's why I'm supposed to look after her and protect her...

The summary of everything going on between the two siblings at the time of Adventure has to do with the following:

Hikari is “always thinking of other people before herself” (i.e. she “doesn’t want to be a burden”, a very common sentiment among these very selfless kids in Adventure and 02), and therefore will accept massive burdens or pain on herself because she doesn’t want to trouble others. Because of that, she also will not speak out about her pain, simply suppressing it and pretending that everything is fine, while working for others’ sake.

Even Taichi has no idea what she’s thinking, because she’s so bad at vocalizing what she wants or is actually feeling that he has to guess. While he’s obviously emotionally compromised and thinking the worst of everything at the time of the above incident in Adventure episode 48, he also states that “that’s the kind of girl she is,” which implies that the above incident where Hikari got pneumonia was not an isolated incident, and therefore that Hikari has a repeated pattern of behaving like this. Hence, why Taichi has to keep stepping in -- he has to constantly assume the worst and go overboard, because Hikari will not do anything for herself if left to her own devices.

Both siblings are characterized as “dangerously self-sacrificial”; Taichi will recklessly risk his own welfare if it’s for the sake of others not getting hurt, whereas, as just indicated here, Hikari will refuse to burden other people even if it leads to her own personal destruction. This is not the only time Adventure has portrayed the negative aspects of being too selfless (it’s also a huge theme of Sora’s character arc), and it’s also why Hikari so easily offers herself up at the end of Adventure episode 36; it’s not just about Taichi! Hikari just puts others before herself by default to the extent that, while doing something for herself is hard to do, doing things for others is a no-brainer.

This is also why Hikari’s actions of “clinging” to Taichi in Adventure episode 21 shouldn’t be contextualized as her being clingy to him and wanting him there for her own sake -- remember, the point that was made is that Hikari thinks so little about what she wants that she doesn’t even consider her own wishes as an object, so the reason she bids for them to “stay” in this episode is because she knows he’s been in another world, a potentially dangerous one, and is about to go back and risk his own welfare for it. Since her attitude revolves around “other people’s sake”, it’s natural that she’s not going to be very enthusiastic about her brother and their new friend heading back to the unknown like that. (Remember, she seemed to be fine with him being out at camp and being away from her for prolonged periods of time in general.)

Which is especially enhanced when we see the context of why Taichi has his massive freakout in Adventure episode 48, and the way Hikari behaves in both the episode and the flashback:

The conflict in the episode was kicked off by, once again, Taichi being unable to tell what Hikari was thinking or feeling, and underestimating how much pain she was in, while Hikari had been suppressing it because of her selflessness. As Taichi says, he can’t tell if Hikari had wanted to come, or if she had simply come out of “obligation” regardless of how she’d felt.

And, in the flashback depicted, again: Taichi hadn’t insensitively dragged Hikari out, he had legitimately thought she was fine and misjudged her condition, and Hikari had agreed to go out without protest, only for that to be very much not the case. And when Hikari returned, she had no blame for him and only continued to blame herself for ruining his fun. So, again: Hikari doesn’t even think of herself, and only thinks about how much of a burden she’s being on others, and the incident (and presumably others) had brought Taichi into the understanding that he cannot use what Hikari says about herself as an accurate bar for how she’s doing.

The Character Complete File gives us a bit of an interesting tidbit about Taichi and Hikari’s home lives, in that, if you pay attention, you’ll notice that the Yagami siblings don’t share a room anymore by the time of 02. According to both Taichi and Hikari’s testimonies, Hikari had “constructively” kicked him out by hint-hinting that she was actually not very fond of sharing a room with him and was embarrassed by it! She does eventually admit that it’s a bit lonely without the second person around, but she’s very happy to claim her room as “my own little castle”, and, moreover, with the above context, you can imagine that she, once again, might have been self-conscious about being a “burden” on him due to both of their spaces intersecting too much.

So when we do get to 02...

The line from the second screenshot is the most commonly cited line about Hikari’s attitude regarding her brother in 02, but recall that this is from Hikari basically doing her own version of rambling incoherently. The actual context clue required to decipher this comes from earlier in the episode, when, drowning in the negative atmosphere and impact the Dark Ocean is having on her, Hikari has a vision/flashback of saying “I’m sorry” to her brother. Remembering that the Dark Ocean is heavily associated with “negative emotions”: what does “I’m sorry” mean? “I’m sorry” -- or, in other words, “I caused you more trouble again.” So when Hikari says that “my brother always protected me”, she’s basically saying “I’ve been burdening my brother by making him protect me all of the time,” and the fact that she pairs this with a statement “the next time they call me, I may end up there” is one about inevitability -- she does not like the idea of continuing to burden him, and is letting horrible things happen to her because she would rather not keep doing this to him.

This is what threads the apparent “contradiction” between Hikari supposedly being so “quiet” about certain things yet so assertive about others -- Hikari has never shown any hesitation about putting her foot down assertively when it’s about other people’s sake, but it’s always about her own sake and her own feelings when she suddenly clams up. Tailmon even alludes to it herself in the episode:

Hikari is “strong”, and she’s shown it many times -- she’s assertive, brave, and heck, in this very same episode, the moment she realizes the “Hangyomon” need help, she doesn’t even hesitate to do her best to help them even at the risk of pain to herself! But she’s not going to make it until she can accept the help of others instead of denying everything out of worry for being a burden, which is why the issue starts to resolve a little when Hikari finally breaks down and admits that she wants others to help her, including Takeru, whom she had spurned earlier during the episode.

Hence, this is why the “follow-up” to this episode, 02 episode 31, doesn’t involve Taichi at all -- but it does involve a continuation of the same thing about Hikari’s problem, and she even confirms what Taichi had said about her back in Adventure episode 48, that she won’t vocalize her own problems. On top of that, she adds another layer to it: Hikari compulsively suppresses her own problems to the point she’s outright jealous of Miyako for being able to vocalize them. Hikari’s “selflessness” problem is so bad and self-destructive that even she realizes it’s a problem and wants to do something about it, but literally cannot. This is how bad her problem is, and why none of her actions to this point can really accurately be read as her being clingy or wanting to do anything for truly selfish reasons; this problem of “self-destructive selflessness” was so bad that even she didn’t like this about herself. And, hence, why she felt like she was “burdening” her own brother while she was at it -- it was a problem she did with everyone, but since he was one of the people she knew and trusted the most (having literally grown up with him, and all), it had been the worst with him.

Therefore, Miyako is able to address this issue even without Taichi being involved at all, because the problem wasn’t really about Taichi -- but 02 is a series about the importance of relationships and accepting a need to grow with the help of other people, and therefore, Miyako addressing Hikari’s issue of being so closed-in, and encouraging her to seek help and stop accepting her own destruction just to not “burden” others, is likely to help her have a better relationship with her brother in the future.

...although, by this point in 02, this really was more of Hikari’s own issue than it was Taichi’s by this point, because Taichi treats his sister pretty “neutrally” over the course of the series -- when Hikari’s stranded in the Digital World in 02 episode 7, Iori’s the one more panicked than he is, and he’s mostly just concentrated on having an alibi for her to come back with. And he has zero problem with her flinging herself into dangerous situations over the course of the year, including the stakeout trip started in 02 episode 18 (and for what it’s worth, Hikari herself clearly had no issue flinging herself into such a situation). And when he discusses the issue of the new kids in the 02 group having to accept that killing an enemy will soon become an inevitability in 02 episode 43, it’s a pretty serious conversation with him advising her the way he would have advised any of his other juniors.

This is why context is so important! Taichi had said, back in Adventure episode 48, that he’d hovered over her because he’d had no clue what she was thinking, and would have to take extra precautions because she could easily get herself killed like that. But in 02, it’s not like she was constantly suffering a cold, and it’s a lot more obvious that her actions throughout the series were because it was what she wanted to do, regardless of the risks, so it’s her right to do whatever she wants, and therefore he leaves her to it; she’s clearly doing a much better job taking care of herself, so there’s no reason for him to step in.

Hikari also takes his advice at face value and doesn’t have any particular weirdness about it; she’d never put him on a pedestal or anything, she just still happened to have very self-destructive tendencies that were ultimately resolved with the help of the rest of the 02 group. Often submitted as Hikari having proof of putting him on some kind of weird pedestal is her reaction in 02 episode 4, when she gets angry at Daisuke for being disrespectful about an older sibling, but this omits the fact that Yamato (being a very offended older sibling) got in on it too; the point was more about the disparity between Daisuke and Jun’s more vitriolic relationship compared to the more mutual-esteem relationships between the Ishida-Takaishi and Yagami siblings, plus the fact that, even if the perspective was different, Daisuke was being pretty harsh about his wording (he outright says he hates his sister...).

This is also presumably why, when everyone is presented with illusions regarding their personal worries in 02 episode 49, Hikari’s is the only one that has no relation to her family or home life whatsoever. She has nothing to really worry about with her home life, and Taichi seems to be fine and she has no particular interest in what he does as long as she’s not burdening him further. Rather, again, her character was largely about “doing more for other people than doing anything for herself,” so of course, her “dream” ends up being about everyone else in the world being happy.

In the end, it was more about her larger issues of her relationship to “other people” versus her relationship to “herself” than anything else -- it was just impacting the siblings the most since they were, well, siblings.

[tarantulas4davey]

Youtuber!Ralbert Au

originally done by the lovely @we-are-inevitable you can find the original concept here

part two to this series can be found here

and my valentine’s hcs can be found here

ok so let’s set up the basics first

albert is a faceless gaming youtuber known for his voice (thing corpse husband but instead of how deep it is it’s cause of his distinct accent)

race is a vlogger/lifestyle youtuber who makes chaotic content that shows off his bubbly personality p e r f e c t l y

they also happen to be roommates (and boyfriends, but that’s not public just yet)

at first, their fan bases were pretty separate, as their content didn’t really mix

until one day race posts a video of him trying on outfits picked by his subscribers through twitter (video inspo by phil lester here)

and he brings in his vague, never-shown-on-camera roommate that he mentions occasionally in vlogs to help him

enter, albert dasilva (aka chaotic red on twitch/youtube)

now albert’s voice is distinct, especially to his fans considering it’s the only thing about him that’s consistently in videos

so IMMEDIATELY the comments are full of “holy shit is chaotic red race’s mysterious roommate omg-��

the whole video is full of playful banter and fond looks from race to behind the camera, and waY MORE LAUGHTER FROM RED THAN ANY OF HIS SUBS ARE USED TO

it’s basically a goldmine for albert’s fans cause it’s the first time he’s out of his usual element of video games

and about 2 days after the video drops, albert tags race on his public twitter saying their going live on twitch to play among us with their friends

(friends meaning all of the other newsies, who in this au are also youtubers)

THIS TURNS OUT TO BE ANOTHER ABSOLUTE GOLDMINE FOR THE FANS

apparently, the thing about al’s laughter in race’s video wasn’t “red being out of his element,” it was the fact race was there making him laugh

cause this stream is the happiest they’ve EVER heard red be (albert usually plays horror games and among us, there’s just a lot of yelling and swearing and a bit of banter in usual gameplays)

he’s joking with everyone more than normal, you can practically HEAR him smiling, and race is making him genuinely laugh every couple minutes with his stupid one liners and general confusion at “how to video game”

albert is really lucky his alias comes from the face race nicknamed him “red” in middle school, cause race manages not to accidentally call him by his real name at any point during the stream

it’s actually al who makes a mistake

now it’s not an “i accidentally revealed my secret identity mistake live on stream” mistake-

no, it’s almost w o r s e

he calls race babe, live on stream to thousands of people, more than once

twitter absolutely looses its shit, as expected

race may or may not have sat on their living room floor laughing his ass off at what he can see of albert’s distressed expression as he lays face down on their couch

yeah let’s just say the next week he’s in race’s vlog again (kinda? like his voice is in it but he’s still not ready for his face to be all over everywhere just yet)

now albert’s fans have a vague description of him, the basics of sorts, and the voice to guess his general region of origin

they know he’s stockier and muscly, got red hair and hazel eyes, covered in freckles (he may or may not get compared to a weasley or two on twitter more consistently then he cares to admit)

but racer’s fans know A LOT about him, he’s a lifestyle vlogger ffs, it’s his j o b to share his life

so long story short there’s a segment in race’s vlog where they’re just like “yeah we’re dating and have been since junior year of highschool it be like that lmao”

and the rest of the vlog is just them doing domestic shit? like albert’s face is off camera but for the first time you can s e e him on camera

they bake cookies at one point and you can see his trademark necklace race got him for graduation when he was 18, his troye sivan concert tee that he’s cut the sleeves off of, the freckles all over and the fact he wears stacks of bracelets on both wrists and his hands are covered in rings

you can see the scar on his shoulder from when he jumped the fence sneaking out to hang with race freshman year, and the semicolon tattoo on the side of his right hand

you can see his personality, not just hear it, and believe me he’s got SO MUCH OF IT

he’s funny and witty and he teases race like nobody else does and his fans can finally see the way he leans back and laughs with his whole body when race does something stupid

all of their fans are slowly combining, cause race shows up on the chaotic red gaming channel more often from dramatically popular request (and the fact albert loves making fun of him for having no idea what he’s doing

and albert is in almost all of race’s vlogs at least once, because he’s a massive part of race’s life and he’s finally allowed to share that piece that was missing

the amount of fan content made for the two of them is ASTRONOMICAL (think jenna marbles and julien solomita levels of fan content, it’s two massive fanbases combining and theyre so hyped up)

they’re just happy vibing together on youtube once they finally start posting together, and absolutely nobody’s complaining about it

and if they have to do a little extra editing cause of kisses on camera or impromptu slow dances in the kitchen or race accidentally saying albie, then it’s worth the extra work for how happy everyone is

lmk if i should do more of this cause i love this au more than anything

also seriously go follow jac their blog is one of my favorites and everything they write is pure gold

fín :)

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan in 2020

I've sort of dropped doing detailed chapter posts on the series because that type of writing wasn't very fun for me anymore and I have taken a liking to a bullet point kind of approach where I list the elements that stood out for me in the chapter or make a separate post for some specific topic I'd like to talk about in it.

I've started like 10 different posts to attempt to talk about AoT this year and I always end up with incoherent rambling because of all of the elements I'd love to to talk about.

This year's chapters were 125-135 and this year's episodes episodes 1-4 of season 4.

The anime episodes in particular have given me a lot of food for thought, so I'm just saying fuck it.

I think the biggest misstep of the story for me will forever be the fact that it decided to use fairly specific historical imagery.

The Eldians are clearly supposed to have allegorical equivalency with Jewish people, but the Jewish people were never the oppressors. There weren't any Jewish empires. That's conspiracy theory bullshit.

But on the other hand, the series clearly takes great effort to not stereotype any of the groups it's portraying and gives complex reasons for what both sides do. It's one of the few Japanese series that I've seen not stereotype Middle Eastern-coded people (Ramzi and Halil) or black people (Onyakapon). Everyone are people, it says. It even champions diversity:

(Chapter 118)

It is also very much true that a bunch of fascist states use long-term history as an excuse for their actions:

(Chapter 127)

Nation did X 2000 years ago therefore our conquest of them is justified.

This makes discussion about the series' themes like a minefield.

The people who are very critical about its imagery are right, but the people defending the series aren't wrong, either because it condemns all of those nasty ideas of conquest and hurting innocent people.

You can't have a more clear-cut condemnation of genocide:

(Chapter 127)

If you combine all of these details instead of zoning in on them one by one, to me what the story is saying is that *even if* all of that conspiracy bullshit is true, innocent people don't deserve to be slaughtered no matter the reason because they are still people who have their own feelings, thoughts and wishes.

The story clearly gets the baseline, but fumbles the details. I decided to look up some more discussion surrounding this these past few days and I just wish there was more good faith discussion about it. A lot of it feels like a moral superiority contest.

I think it's these kind of flawed stories that actually deserve detailed scruitiny over stories that are rotten to the core because they are *almost there*. Talking about them is a good topic starter in what to do and not to do in a story like this.

Speaking of rotten to the core, I think the absolute highlight of the chapters this year is Eren and some of the chapters this year finally gave me a pretty clear picture of what is going on with him.

Context from 123 certainly helps, though:

(Chapter 131)

This is about Eren's perspective. He can't accept the destruction of Paradis.

It's not that this solution was inevitable looking in from the outside (which is one of the interpretations I see around for Eren's actions), it's that *Eren* can't see any other way out of this except the most extreme because of all of the horrible things he has seen from the outside world. It is very similar to the way suicidal people can only focus on the negative.

You can tell them everything is going to be okay, but those words won't reach them because their mind won't let them and loops them back to those negative thoughts.

Eren can't see the ice cream or silly clowns. But he can see how the other Eldians in the league of Eldians are willing to push Paradis under the bus. He can see how Grisha's sister was killed. He can see how racist and cruel Marley is towards the Eldians in Liberio (and how the people have racist leanings towards other nations, too).

He can only see those bad things. But he also understands how everyone outside of the walls are human just as the people inside of the walls are.

So he is torn to pieces by guilt.

He doesn't want to do this, but he can't see any other solution.

This is why I also think he can't rob his friends of their agency. He is fighting for them to have a good future:

(Chapter 133)

(Chapter 131)

What really stood out to me on a revisit is that Eren considers himself much worse than Reiner.

I've seen criticism on how the story pushes the narrative of both sides being the same and this detail is really important to me because this is the story acknowledging that what Eren is doing is worse and gives all of the following exchanges about this the context of it being a similarity in principle.

Both sides have killed for what they think is right and have to deal with how they have killed people. This is such an important detail in the Uprising arc, too, where Erwin firmly acknowledged that overthrowing the government might not actually be the right choice by him. It was simply what he saw as right. On a narrative level this avoids absolute truths and preference of one character perspective over the other and once again makes it about individual perspectives.

The theme of individual perspectives is so ingrained in this story at this point in my eyes that it's another cornerstone in understanding what is going on with Eren to me.

I think it's great.

I also really appreciate Annie and what was done with her in this chunk of chapters.

(Chapter 127)

There has been this narrative going around that proposes that the story is in Eren's corner too much. But these chapters are nothing but questioning Eren and Annie is one of the main voices in this. It's the Marleyan girls, really and I think this is a very necessary part of making the narrative work. Once again, it separates the narrative and character perspective.

It says that the Paradis side caring is about character perspective, not what the narrative sides with and Annie is even sympathetic to Mikasa in that instance.

She gets it. Unexpectedly, I think Annie might play a bigger role in taking down Eren than expected. Her character arc about deciding to no longer go with the flow because she doesn't want any more tragedy to happen is basically calling for it.

(Chapter 128)

Another element I've seen brought up is the fact that nobody seems to address the Bert-sized elephant in the room, but some of our characters are certainly thinking about him.

This is such a thematically strong element and really interesting because Connie joined the military to make his mom proud and be a good soldier. This is the motivation behind his claim when he says they are going to save the world. But what does becoming a good soldier mean, exactly?

Well, apparently possibly gunning down people you care about.

This moment is so good because it's another moment where the idea of glory in war is taken down a peg.

The moment with Connie declaring they're going to save the world is so often criticised, but it is actually turned on its head in 128. There is no heroics in this. This is actually Connie's big "killing a person" moment because it strips away the final bit of comfort in killing in war, the excuse of killing for good moral reasons.

It is also a wonderful complex evolution of the series' themes. Trost was about fighting monsters. In the Female Titan and Clash of Titan arcs some of those monsters turned out to be human. In the Uprising, Return to Shiganshina and Marley arcs all of those monsters turned out to be human and here in the War of Paradis arc, everyone is human and the only separating system is what everyone views as right.

I really hope the anime will let this chapter breathe a little bit more.

Moving on, I guess it is time to address the rumbling.

I love it as a horror spectacle.

(Chapter 130)

And I really I think it needs to be non-CG when animated. CG is fine in spectacle battles, but not in horror settings because it is too clean.

The rumbling needs to be disgusting and dirty.

Chapter 132 gave me one of the few moments in which I truly cared about Levi. I think him telling Hange to dedicate her heart was a very good moment to cap off their relationship. He sent another SL commander to fulfill their duty.

The speech about hatred in chapter 134 also stood out to me. I think it definitely should be fitted in there somewhere in this, but I also see a bunch of criticism for it.

I want to point out that this is the side of present Marley talking here. It's the military dictatorship.

It's the Nazis. I think the Nazis should feel regret for exploiting innocent people and admit they're wrong.

I also like how the horrors here are undoing the brainwashing and showing the truth to the citizens.

I guess you could read it as heavy-handed, but it is also something that needs to be addressed and in principle, it's not wrong.

I'm also going to put a mention of Historia here. I've talked about how this is my biggest and most glaring problem with the series because of how thematically unfitting it feels, but I've also talked about it in many posts. I wanted to focus more on other stuff in this post.

So now, we make it back to chapter 135.

I think having stewed on it for a month now, I like the element of mindscrewing our cast with the Titans of the people they love is the strongest element of it. It's making them face their personal traumas and we also get some great character moments and payoffs from it.

Mikasa ended off the year in a very good note in my eyes.

Even this deep in the story, this chapter left me in a situation where I have no idea how things might turn out.

I might have rough ideas, but not anything specific and that's fun.

Well, this is it on my retrospective.

2021 is confirmed to be AoT's final year of publication as volume 34 is set to be the story's final volume.

Those who hate the story can finally be free of it and those who care for it, can look back on it with fondness and sadness and many other emotions and evaluate.

It's been 7 years for me. What a wild ride.

So, I'm asking everyone, what are some of your observations on AoT in 2020?

Is there anything you'd like to add or do you have any observations or counterarguments for anything I've said?

I'd be curious to see what everyone else thought of AoT in 2020!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Characters in ANF Who Would’ve Made Better Love Interests Than Kate

There are a lot of mixed opinions on TWDG: A New Frontier. Some people like it, some don’t, and some people hate it so much that they refuse to accept as canon in the series. Extreme? Yeah, but hey, to each their own. 

One thing that always bothers me when I do my replay of the series and this game is how much Kate is forced on us and even kinda punishes us for not romancing her. Like, no offense, but I’m not really interested in dating my sister-in-law, especially when her husband is actually alive, and even if she wasn’t my brother’s wife, she’s still not a character I have chemistry with, y’know? 

And every time I play, I can’t help but think that almost anyone else in ANF would’ve been a better romantic interest for Javi over Kate, so I decided to make that the list for this week. 

I would’ve loved more choices and for the game to actually show Javi’s canon bisexuality outside of a flirty line with Jesus that most players didn’t even pick. Just sayin’.

I do want to note that if you enjoy the romance with Kate and the relationship between her and Javi, that’s totally cool. Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t ship them, y’know? I’m not here to try to change your mind or tell you you’re bad for shipping something I don’t because I’m not a dingus. You do what makes you happy, friend. :)

Besides, going off the stats, a majority of players romanced her so if anything, I’m the weirdo. This list is just for fun! 

Before we start, just wanna say a big thank you to @pi-creates​ for helping out with this one! Really appreciate it! Now, here are my top 5 characters who, in my opinion, would’ve made better love interests for Javier than Kate.

5. Jane if the writers didn’t turn her into a dead potato

Oh man, you should see your face right now. 

Wait, wait, stop! Before you click outta here in a huff with your “Kenny good Jane bad” grunts and come yell at me, just hear me out-- this entry is mostly a joke and the other four on this list are serious, okay? 

I needed someone to put at #5 and after talking over some options and going back and forth.... Jane came up as a joke and then kind of made the list. Because really, I thought about it. I was like, “Would I really rather have dingdong “whatever happens stay out of it” potato face Jane as a love interest over Kate? Do I dislike Kate as an option that much?” and Pi and I talked about this for a while and yeah.... yeah I would actually. 

When I said anyone but Kate, I guess I really meant anyone. 

Trust me, I know, I’m just as surprised. I guess this really says a lot about my feelings for Kate. I didn’t know I disliked her this much either.

But for fun, let’s entertain this idea of the writers NOT pulling the ol’ character assassination on Jane and she made it to Richmond with Clementine and AJ because--

Jane: "One time I ate glass because I was drunk and thought it was sugar."

Javier: "I gambled on my own baseball matches and disgraced myself for money."

Jane: “Well, I dragged my little sister around with me after everything went to shit until I finally gave her what she wanted and left her to die.”

Javier: “I wasn’t there when my dad was fighting cancer and when I finally showed up, I was too late and he was already dead, then he turned and I bashed his skull in with a piece of wood.” 

Jane: “I shot a dude’s dick off once.”

Javier: “Oof. I insulted an old lady’s cake and then shot her eye out.”

Jane: “I screwed a guy when I was supposed to be securing a place for some lady to have her baby and it resulted in the death of a teenage girl.”

Javier: “I screwed my brother’s wife.” 

Jane: “...”

Javier: “In my defense, I thought he was dead.” 

Jane: “That’s fair.”

Clementine, exasperated and emo: “Oh my god.” 

....I mean... we might be onto something here, c’mon--

Okay, now onto the more legit entries. 

4. Conrad

Now listen... I know, okay? I know. I know this one can be seen as a bit problematic considering the fact that Conrad, in his grief and anger over Francine’s death, held a gun to Gabe’s head and threatened Javi and Clementine.... plus Javi can literally murder him.

...and if you don’t do anything, Conrad with murder both Gabe and Javi and you’ll get a “YOU ARE DEAD” screen...

But we don’t talk about that because it’s not canon.

I know, but listen... I’m allowed to have ships that are difficult, as are you, and this is my list so... there.

If Conrad was a love interest that’s the route I’d take because I love him and I think a relationship between him and Javi could’ve been so damn good if properly done.

I just find Conrad to be an interesting character with a great arc that you only get to see if you don’t shoot him... which is what most people did, so they missed out. And like, I get it, I get why y’all shot him but maybe next time you play, you could consider not doing that?

So here’s the thing, Javi and Conrad share something-- they both lost loved ones because of shithead Badger. Javi is heartbroken after Mariana’s death, Conrad is devastated after Francine’s death, and they both handle that in different ways. Conrad becomes so focused on revenge and getting into Richmond, that he’s willing to threaten two kids in order to get what he wants but the thing is... that’s not him.

He even says so himself when you keep him alive-- he genuinely apologizes for what happened and will end up coming back to save Javi’s life in ep4. The potential for this to work as a relationship? It’s there... the only problem is that my confidence in the writers handling something like this is low, but let’s pretend they used their time and brains wisely-- ya got yourself a classic slow-burn friends to enemies to friends again to lovers romance and I’m here for it. 

3. Paul “Jesus” Monroe

A lot of people really like the idea of Javi and Jesus and wanted him to be a romantic option, and I don’t blame them. They have chemistry in the scenes they share, and Javi can straight up flirt with him at the end of the season, and it’s super cute... of course, I wish we had more but Telltale was too scared to actually show Javi’s bisexuality outside of that one line, I guess.

But, anyway, this ship has a lot of sweet fanart that we love to see.

The only real reason he isn’t higher on the list is that Jesus is apparently already in a relationship at this point? I guess? From what I’ve been told? Listen, I don’t read the comics, I don’t watch the show, I just go off what y’all tell me. Plus, I believe Kent joked about Jesus having someone in each community during the commentaries so like... that’s a thing?

But let’s pretend that we throw that all out and Jesus is single and ready to be in a committed relationship with our boy Javier here. Like I mentioned above, these characters have a believable chemistry from the moment they meet and I think that has a lot to do with how charming they are by themselves. Those different charms work well together.

I also enjoy how much of a badass Jesus is when it comes to fighting off walkers. Javi has a lot of force that you feel with each hit, while Jesus almost has a lighter but just as impactful hit? I dunno if I’m explaining that well-- basically, Javi strong but Jesus can bounce off walls and do cool shit with weapons that feels effortless.

It’s a combo of fighting styles that I love, so these two fighting together? *chef kiss*

There’s also Jesus’ morality and how he wants to see Javier make “good” decisions, y’know? Sure, he gets pissy if you murder the shit outta Badger, which is mostly just Telltale showing you consequences, but I get it. He sees a lot of potential in Javi, more than Javi himself sees. And unlike certain characters, Jesus doesn’t completely hate you for doing something he doesn’t agree with to a frustrating degree.

If the game gave us the option to pursue Jesus as a love interest, he and Javier would’ve been such a badass couple with a sweet romance.

2. Eleanor

This one might come as a surprise to those of you who know my feelings about Eleanor... as in, I don’t like her. I never forgave her for the shit she pulled in ep4/ep5, and now every time I replay ANF and she shows up? Well, all I really hear is the hissing of a snake.

But, putting those feelings aside and looking at her from a different perspective, I do believe that she would’ve made for a better love interest than Kate assuming that if you romanced her, she wouldn’t rat everyone out to Joan, y’know?

Hell, most people believed that Eleanor was going to be the second option with Kate back when the episodes were coming out, and for good reason. The chemistry is there in the flirting, and their relationship could’ve been super cute.

Of course, Eleanor being a love interest also comes with things becoming awkward with Tripp, but c’mon-- as awkward as pursuing a relationship with your sister-in-law and never telling your brother after finding out he’s alive? Nah, I don’t think so.

Plus, for the first three episodes, Eleanor’s not a bad character. In fact, she’s pretty damn likable, she deeply cares for the group and wants to use her medical skills for good.

And you can tell through the dialogue that she and Javi are fond of one another... well, I guess until they shove the Kate thing in our faces and suddenly Eleanor’s like “oh, I thought you two were a thing??” like... Eleanor, we were flirting and I totally rejected all of Kate’s advances last episode I mean??

If she were a love interest, instead of turning on us, she would... y’know, not do that and instead help us out. We have a couple cute moments like back in ep1 where she’s patching Javi up but this time with a smooch? Super cute.

1. Tripp

Okay but seriously, why wasn’t Tripp a love interest? 

He’s the perfect option. I just-- uuuughhhhh. 

They already have a great believable bromance, so why not take it a step further and make it an official romance? Oh wait, that’s right, ya gotta kill off 95% of your determinant characters, I forgot. Sorry Tripp. 

Well, fuck that. Out of all the other adult characters, Javi has the most chemistry with this man. I believe them more than I believe him and Kate. Sure, they got off to a rocky start the progression of their relationship felt natural with every episode. 

That scene where Tripp is confiding in Javi about his feelings for Eleanor? And in turn, Javi can confide in him about Kate? One of my favorite scenes. I only wish there was an option to tell Tripp he can do much better and set the path for the romance. 

Seriously, I’d probably feel more okay about the romance with Kate if Tripp were the second option. That way, Kate wouldn’t be so forced onto the player, the writers confirming Javi’s bisexuality on Twitter or whatever wouldn’t feel like they were trying to earn points without actually showing representation, and we would’ve gotten the beauty that is Javier and Tripp. 

Also, then Tripp could make it to the end without dying that dumb death of his that no one likes. 

And if I haven’t convinced you yet, then look at these swaps Pi did--

--and tell me they aren’t fucking perfect?? You can’t, because look at them. 

Where’s my Tripp route, Telltale??

---

Honorable Mentions

-If I wasn’t sticking to just ANF characters, Luke probably would’ve made the list because that’s apparently a popular combo and I dig it.  -Pudding... because Javi fucking loves pudding.  -Honestly Max probably would’ve been a better love interest than Kate oof--

---

So, whattya think? Do you agree with this top 5 or nah? Do you have a favorite Javi ship? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you. :D

Next week’s T5F Top 5 Times Lee was the Absolute Best

[entracteofevil]

Round Table Discussion with the Cover Illustrators

Entr’acte of Evil, page 142-145

--First, everyone please introduce yourselves.

Ichika: I’ve been responsible for the first cover and the illustrations for the series. My name is Ichika.

Suzunosuke: I am Suzunosuke. I normally just draw what I want to. I was able to make the cover for the second book.

You: I am You, and I was charged with the cover for this book. I’m really nervous, but I look forward to being able to do this interview with you.

--When did you all first start making illustrations?

Ichika: Since I could first remember. I don’t recall it all that clearly, but by the time I was in first year I was already drawing.

Suzunosuke: I think it was about middleschool. Apparently when I was a kid my parents were consulted by my teachers on the fact that I couldn’t actually draw pictures.

--You couldn’t draw pictures?

Suzunosuke: Even when I was made to stay behind by myself in kindergarten, the only things I drew were like little pictures of flowers on my drawing paper. It wasn’t that I was sick or anything like that, I was just a normal kid who couldn’t draw.

--I see, that’s very unexpected. What about you, You-san?

You: I don’t clearly remember when I first started drawing as a hobby, but my first picture was when I was three years old, and was a portrait of my caregiver in nursery. Back then I always wanted to use every color of crayon I had, and I guess the fact that I’m still always using rainbow colors even now just goes to show that what you learn in the cradle you carry to the grave.

Suzunosuke: I think that’s cool.

--Incidentally, when did you start making pictures related to VOCALOID?

Ichika: I think around 2007…maybe? I remember the first time I drew Miku was after listening to Yuuyu-P’s “White Season”.

Suzunosuke: I don’t remember how many years ago it was, but I feel like the first thing I drew was Kurousa-P’s “Cantarella”.

You: I listened to VOCALOID the first time in the winter of 2007, so I think it was probably around that time.

--So then, when was the first time you encountered AkunoP’s work?

Ichika: It was right after “Daughter of Evil” was posted on Piapro. I had just finished up making a PV, and when I was looking for new content on Piapro I got drawn in by the title and started listening to it.

Suzunosuke: The “Servant of Evil” was on NicoNico Douga’s rankings, and when I opened up the PV it had a tag saying to watch it after “Daughter of Evil”, so I watched them in order of “Daughter of Evil” and “Servant of Evil” for the first time.

You: Like Suzunosuke-san, probably in the autumn of 2008. The “Daughter of Evil” had a lot of buzz when it was first uploaded! I saw it in so many places with Ichika-san’s illustrations~ It feels so strange to see it having taken this form so many years later.

--Suzunosuke-san and You-san, this was the first time you’d seen a song that used Ichika-san’s illustrations, wasn’t it?

Ichika: I’m sorry for being alive…

Suzunosuke: Sorry, haha

You: Hey, hahaha

Ichika: I’m honestly really shaking here, haha

Suzunosuke: Maybe we should reply with “You’re a very wonderful person” ha ha.

-(Laughs) So what was everyone’s thoughts on the work when they saw “Daughter of Evil” and “Servant of Evil”?

Ichika: I think the imagery in it was really easy to get emotional about. I also thought it was a really interesting concept that although “Daughter of Evil” and “Servant of Evil” had a really different feel to them, they still felt like part of the same story.

Suzunosuke: All else aside I thought it was really sad, and I kept getting stuck on the fact that Allen couldn’t be saved. Still, it was because it was such a sad story that I was captivated by it. It also really made me feel the potential of the VOCALOID genre. It’s a derivative work, but also original content.

You: At the time I had thought it was really interesting and unusual to make a work with such dark fantasy elements using VOCALOID. I also really liked how catchy the tune was. It was also really impressive with all the derivative songs and fanart that got uploaded as things went on. I think it’s a work that shouldered a main pillar of the VOCALOID community in its heyday. And it’s really cool that it’s continuing to spread around the world even now.

--What image do you get of its creator, AkunoP?

Suzunosuke: Given he’s got “Akuno” (of evil) in his name, I thought he might be a scary person.

Ichika: Generally the people who do DTM have a kind of science-y image, so there’s that. And when we actually met, I remember he was a lot like that image. Though he was a bit thinner than I had imagined. Maybe if Akuno-san had shown up to our first meeting with his sunglasses look I’d answer that his image was different, haha.

You: Before I met him offline…He made a lot of romantic-type works, so I actually wondered if maybe he was a woman. When we actually met, it was apparently right after he’d changed his look, so I was a little amused to see him wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses.

--Have you all met AkunoP-san wearing sunglasses?

Suzunosuke: I actually just brushed him off because I didn’t know who he was for a second. As a fan the way he is now is probably close to his image as AkunoP, I would think.

Ichika: I also brushed him off.

You: Everybody brushed him off!

--Well that was an unexpected outcome, haha. Next, do you have a favorite AkunoP work?

Ichika: I actually really like “Clockwork Lullaby”. I prefer the quietly compelling melody and lyrics. Aside from that, I remember when I listened to “Daughter of Evil” I was really drawn to it, wondering what other kind of work he’d done, so that left a significant impression.

Suzunosuke: I think that might be “Re_Birthday”. The flow of sin and rebirth is so painfully beautiful, and I always get misty-eyed no matter how many times I listen to it.

You: Like Suzunosuke-san, I like “Re_Birthday”. I really love the music, and as for the story of it I think it’s really great it has that theme of salvation.

--I see. I had thought that Suzunosuke-san might say “Lunacy of Duke Venomania”, so that was surprising.

Suzunosuke: I could also say “Lunacy of Duke Venomania”, but I don’t want people to think I’m someone who likes erotic content, haha. But that’s also another song that I really like.

.

About the Novel Illustrations

.

--How did you feel when you heard about the “Daughter of Evil” becoming a novel?

Ichika: I was simply surprised.

Suzunosuke: I thought it was awesome.

You: I thought it was awesome for Akuno-san. I thought there must have been so many fan’s voices there, and that kind of invisible strength was deeply moving.

--Ichika-san, in the first book you did the cover illustration as well as the ones in the book itself—What was something that was hard about that?

Ichika: I’d have to say highlights.

--Highlights…! Certainly you had to do quite the interaction there… Honestly, was there any point where you were like, “I hope these editors step in dog crap”? haha

Ichika: Nah, ‘cause ever since I’ve become able to put in highlights more seriously, so I’d say it was good practice, haha.

--Suzunosuke-san, you were asked to do the cover for the second book; how was it when they approached you for that?

Suzunosuke: I had thought for sure that they were going to have me just do a pinup on the inside of the book, so then I was kind of like, “Now what?” The others who’ve been involved in it are such amazing illustrators, so I wondered if I’d be good enough for it.

--Was there anything you had trouble with?

Suzunosuke: Drawing the two of them to be just adorable was a little hard.

--I understand you had a bit of revision going on…?

Suzunosuke: Oh no, I saw that as being good training in a lot of ways, so even now it’s a good memory for me.

--You-san, you’ve been asked to do a lot of color illustrations each time, and in this guidebook you were entrusted with the cover illustration. How did you feel after finishing your work?

You: I really like doing the pinups, and I’ll generally paint them as I like, but I dealt with the cover with some different feelings in mind. As a fan I thought that Ichika-san would be given preference for sure. And I’ve refined on my composition a bit looking over past work. I wanted to emulate the flow of things up to now, so like Suzunosuke-san’s work I made it very horizontal.

--Who are some characters that were fun for you to draw in this novel series?

Ichika: All the characters are fun to draw, but if you’re gonna make me choose I’d say Elluka…I had this sense of security while drawing her, like it wasn’t an issue if I made her look a little bit like a villain.

Suzunosuke: I’ve only drawn two characters, so that would be the harmonius Clarith and Michaela. That pair so really cute, so I like them a lot.

--Suzunosuke-san, are there any characters that you would like to draw?

Suzunosuke: I love old man figures, so I’m a bit intrigued by Leonhart. Though I know that’s probably not what you were looking for, haha.

Ichika: (after half a second) It is!

Suzunosuke: Yay, haha

--You-san, you’ve probably drawn all of the main characters at this point; are there any that you’re fond of?

You: Everyone’s fun with how cute they are. I think Riliane-chan is really precious with how her hair is done up. And then there’s the princely Kyle-san—for some reason I’m always grinning when I draw him.

--Please tell us the impressions you were left with as the story has developed.

Ichika: I wasn’t expecting the romantic love between Michaela and Clarith, so that surprised me a bit.

Suzunosuke: I was actually really surprised that the base for Michaela and Gumillia’s appearances were those characters in those other songs.

You: I was also surprised at Michaela and Clarith. I felt the books complemented the content that wasn’t expanded on in the songs, which made them have a lot of interesting points. I think it’s also pretty great that I can now listen to the songs with a fresh perspective.

--Conclusively, how do you think the story will develop in the third book?

Ichika: I think Kyle’s mom is gonna be the final boss.

Suzunosuke: Hmm, I think all of the countries might get wrapped up in the fires of war. All the preliminary announcements have a pretty foreboding feeling to them.

You: All will go according to the will of god (AkunoP).

--Please let us know any final thoughts you have.

Ichika: Thanks for having me here. I don’t know yet how the third book is going to go, but I look forward to being able to go through the novels again with you.

Suzunosuke: I’d be really happy if I could be with you on the sidelines. This interview has been great!

You: I’m really happy to be linked to this series and involved in the work in this way. Thank you very much!

--Thank you very much for joining us everyone!

directory

[wrenhyperfixates]

Of All the Places

Chapter 8

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: Washing up in a small town in Oklahoma was definitely not part of Loki’s plan when he came to conquer Midgard. There is one good thing about it, though: No one recognizes him as the one who just wreaked havoc in New York. So, Loki plans to recover from the battle and move on with his life. The only problem? He’s not sure he can leave you. Chapter Summary: The town comes together to help a family hit particularly bad by the tornado. A conversation with you helps Loki come to a decision. Chapter Warnings: a lot of mutual pining A/N: I’m really excited about this story now. There’s some great things coming up! Any predictions about where I’m going with this? I’d love to hear them! Updates every Friday. Enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @marvelousdaydreams​ @parkastoria​ @lokistan​

✥ Start at Beginning ✥ | ← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

You and your family had been pretty lucky in the aftermath of the tornado, but unfortunately the same could not be said for your neighbors. The family at the next farm over, the Campbells, whole barn had been blown away. Thankfully, they didn’t suffer any physical injuries, but the wound to their bank account had been decent. That’s why a bunch of people from town were pitching in to help them. In fact, they were preparing for a barn raising at the very minute, something Loki had never even imagined existed before. Actually, the whole idea of a close-knit community like this had never really occurred to him. When he was young, he wasn’t really allowed out into the streets of Asgard, and when he was old enough to decide that for himself, he’d lost his interest.

“You ready, son?” Papa asked, clapping Loki on the back.

“Indeed,” he replied, putting his hair in a low bun to keep it out of his face during the work. “Would it be odd if I said I was a little excited?”

“It is surprisingly fun,” John laughed. “But we’re actually supposed to be trying to talk you out this. You still need to take it easy. ‘Doctor’s orders.’”

He nodded in your direction where you were talking with your friends. Even though you seemed happy, you kept throwing little worried glances at Loki. The whole ordeal with tornado was nearly a week ago, but it seemed to have made you nervous for Loki’s health again. He would have thought that his agility and speed would have reassured you, but it actually did the opposite. You kept insisting that he may have re-injured something and not even noticed. You sent another nervous look his way, but your gaze lingered a little longer, noticing his hairstyle. Half the reason he ever wore it this way was because of how much you obviously liked it.

Mr. and Mrs. Campbell made a little speech thanking everyone for coming out, and then the work began. It was slow moving at first, what with having to get the main supports up soundly and all, but soon the pace picked up. By the time they were working on the roof, Loki could feel the energy of the mortals around him had dropped considerably. Being the god that he was, though, he was tireless enough to finish the barn on his own. Of course, he couldn’t tell anyone that, especially when Papa kept insisting he take a break.

All the girls, and a few guys too, were marveling over Loki’s uncanny strength. He was by no means the most ripped man there, but he was certainly the strongest. Everyone was impressed by just how much he could lift, and he delighted in the general shock the crowd had. And now that he’d shown just how strong he was, people had certainly started paying attention to his muscles, which were there, mind you, but just too lean to notice at first glance. He didn’t much care for any of those stares, though, unless they coming from you. Alas, you’d left a little while ago to help Ana with Matt. Now, however, you were coming back, and Loki redoubled his efforts to show off. Especially because it seemed that Denzel had the same idea. Loki couldn’t even think that man’s name without rolling his eyes.

“Hey,” you said, walking up to Loki and offering him some trail mix, a Midgardian snack he was surprisingly fond of. “I thought you might need some refreshments. Have you eaten anything all day?”

“Do not worry. I have been taking care of myself,” he replied, setting down a pile of wood. “Still, you have my thanks, darling.”

“No problem.” You looked down at your feet as you kicked a rock, building up the confidence to say your next sentence. “I, uh, I really like your hair like that, by the way. It looks good.”

Loki’s face took a crimson shade yet again, and he couldn’t help but smile. The effect you had on him always made him feel a wild mix of emotions. On the one hand, the reaction bothered him to no end. On the other, he was just used to it at his point.

“Is that so,” he said as if he hadn’t already figured it out. “Perhaps I should wear it this way more often then.”

“Oh! You don’t have to. I mean, of course you can if you want to. But I didn’t mean that you had to or anything. Wear it how you like it.” He smirked at your flustered babbling. “Ana, Matt! Can we have some of that water?”

He chuckled at how you had to call them over to save you from your embarrassment, something he found rather adorable. Now that he’d admitted his feelings to himself, he kept finding little things about you to obsess over. Today, it was apparently how cute you are when you’re nervous.

“You really should drink more, being out in the heat all day like this,” you told him, going back into doctor mode.

“What would I do without you,” he teased.

“Loki!” Matt cheered upon reaching him. “I wanna help build too!”

“Now, now Matt. What did mommy say?” Ana asked the boy.

“Mommy said no,” he replied with a little frown. “But Loki didn’t say no!”

“I am sorry, little one. You must listen to your mother,” Loki said, picking the child up. “One day when you are bigger and stronger you will get to help.”

“But will you still be here, Loki?”

The boy’s question gave him a pause. Would he still be there? Did he want to be? It was impossible to answer that first question, considering he couldn’t see the future. Plus, he was in constant danger of being found out and having to run. But that second question he knew the answer to. Something about this small town had charmed him, and being asked right now, he would say he never wanted to leave. He wondered if he would always feel that way, though. Looking into your eyes, he was pretty sure he would.

“I truly do not know, but I would very much like to be.”

“Yay!” Matt exclaimed, throwing his tiny arms around Loki.

Ana chuckled at the child’s excitement while you smiled warmly at Loki. Even though he’d already told you how he felt about this place, your eyes went wide at the fact he’d so boldly declare it to everyone. He only wished he could be so bold when it came to declaring his feelings for you.

Soon, he was back at work helping to build the barn. Unfortunately, John and Papa were up on the roof, and Loki knew very few other people there. So, when Denzel struck up a conversation with him, there was nothing he could do to avoid it.

“So,” Denzel said, “You been seeing a doctor about this memory loss of yours. ‘Cause, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but I’m a-”

“Doctor,” Loki cut him off, gritting his teeth. “Yes, I know. It has been mentioned. Several times. But what kind of doctor, may I ask?”

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, “I’m a pediatrician.”

“I see. A noble profession, indeed. Though I am guessing you are not the best equipped to handle my amnesia, hmm?”

“No, I guess not. But I could definitely recommend someone.”

“I do appreciate it,” Loki confessed, though he suspected there were underlying reasons for Denzel’s concern. Namely, having Loki out of the way so he could get to you easier. “But everything is alright for now. I shall let you know if the situation changes.”

“Ok then.”

They lapsed into silence as they picked up more wood for construction, Denzel seeming a little shocked by just how much Loki was able to carry. Which definitely wasn’t even more than he had previously been taking just to intimidate the man.

“Hey, listen,” Denzel said while they helped work to make the walls, nodding in your direction. “Guy to guy, have they mentioned me at all?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact they have. I do not think you will like it, though.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I am afraid so.”

“Well, I guess that just means I’ve gotta work twice as hard to show them how serious I am about wanting them back.”

“Yes, I do suppose- Wait! No,” Loki said, not having expected that to be his answer. “I do not think that is in your best interest.”

“Oh, really? Are you sure you don’t think it’s in your best interest?”

“I do not know what you are talking about.”

“So then you’re fine with me asking them out?”

“Only if you are fine with being rejected.”

They stood glaring at each other until they were able to move to work on separate sections. Loki was desperately trying to not feel so jealous and anxious. After all, you’d explicitly said that you did not want to be with Denzel, but there was still that little bit of uncertainty. Perhaps you’d changed your mind and decided to give him a second chance.

“You alright there, son?” Papa asked, coming down from the roof.

“You better not pass out,” John added, following close behind. “You know we’re going to be the ones who get in trouble if you do.”

“I assure you, I am fine,” Loki replied, trying not to sound too sad. He was failing. “You need not worry.”

“Oh, I bet I know what this is about. I saw you talking with Denzel.”

“No, nope,” Loki shushed, putting up a finger. “Go no further, please.”

“Ok, fine, whatever you say. Just thought you might want to know that the Campbell’s are planning a little thank you party tonight. It would be the perfect chance to tell a certain someone how you feel.”

“Reckon you ever went to a barn dance in your past life?” Papa asked.

Loki’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. He’d never heard of anything like it on Asgard, though he could fathom what it was due to the rather self-explanatory name. It was a thrilling prospect to go to it, considering he’d only ever been to uptight, boring balls. As a child, he’d stir up some mischief to make things more interesting, but he’d always get a serious scolding from his father. Not to mention Thor was the center of attention more often than not.

“I do not believe I would have, though I am looking forward to the opportunity now,” Loki shared as they set back work again.

The rest of the day went much the same, and though he didn’t get to spend as much time with you as he would have liked, Loki had quite a bit of fun with John and Papa. His attachment to you all was rather dangerous, as was the fact that he cared it was. At least he was able to mask his emotions, much like he was so adept at doing before this whole ordeal.

By dinnertime, the barn was completed and only a select few remained to help set up for the party. Your family, however, went the short distance back home to freshen up after helping out all day. Well, Matt didn’t help much. Instead he just romped and played, though it could be argued he helped by brightening everyone’s day. Regardless, after changing your clothes you were all ready to set out again. Loki did a double take as he walked out onto the porch; you looked more beautiful than ever before. He always thought you looked amazing, but standing there in the fading light of day, it struck him anew.

“You know, Loki,” John said, putting his hands on the god’s shoulders and speaking low enough that you couldn’t hear him. “A friendly word of advice, you should just go for it.”

“But-”

“No more ‘buts’ mister,” Ana reprimanded as she walked up and passed her son to her husband. “I don’t know who you think you’re fooling, but you two need to stop being oblivious dorks and make a move already. No offense.”

“None taken, I suppose,” he said, though it wasn’t wholly true. Him an oblivious dork? Nonsense, not the God of Mischief. “Though I still must insist that I do not know to what any of you are referring. Hypothetically, if I did, do you really believe I have a chance?”

“Yes. And a very good one at that.”

They left Loki mull over his thoughts. When they passed you, you finally turned around and saw Loki standing there, his now loose hair slightly wavy from having been up all day. He was frozen like stone under your tender gaze, afraid of his emotions and unable to take what Ana and John had said to heart. It wasn’t until your smile faltered a little at his expressionless trance that he was able to move out of the doorway.

“My darling, I hope you know how radiant you look this evening,” he told you, a light blush coating his cheeks, still so pale even after so many days out in the sun.

“It’s nothing special, really,” you said with a nervous laugh. “But thank you all the same.”

“My pleasure.”

His fingers brushed against yours and on instinct you intertwined them. He brought your hand to his mouth, lips ghosting over your knuckles, reminding him of that day when he apologized to you. He’d performed the same action back then. With time and perspective, he realized that was the day he was pushed completely off the edge and into love with you. You took a step closer, your bodies nearly pressed against each other. The warmth radiating off of you gave the frost giant a pause, your hands still clasped together, now semi-awkwardly hovering near his head.

“Hey Loki,” you began as he quirked an eyebrow to urge you on. You took a deep breath, gathering your courage and leaning in. “I... I... I-”

“I suppose we should be on our way now,” Mama announced, coming out of the house.

You sheepishly broke apart and agreed with her, your small group heading over to your neighbor’s. Upon arrival, Loki noted how it was even more lively than earlier, which was really saying something. It seemed that everyone who came by during the day to help with the build was back now, and the whole place was a hubbub of activity. Your friends were quick to whisk you away into the thick of it, and seeing as how everyone else had left before you, Loki was now left alone with Mama.

“You can go if you want,” she said. “I’m not much for crowds.”

“I must confess, I am not either.”

“I see.”

Despite having come to some kind of agreement, the air between them was still tense. The past week had been filled with a lot of throat clearing and stiff conversation. Somehow, he preferred the snippy and snide remarks from the woman. They were, at least, a lot less gawky than what their interactions were now. Thankfully, they were saved from the stilted small talk by food. As it turned out, they were both quite a fan of apple pie, and Mrs. Campbell made a mighty good one.

Eventually, Papa sought them out in the crowd and did a bit of a double take to see them amicably chatting. He ushered them inside to where you and the rest of your family were standing just as the dancing was about to begin.

“Pardon me, darlin’,” Denzel said, tapping you on the shoulder. He bowed down a little and put out his hand as Loki rolled his eyes. “May I have this dance?”

“Oh! I would love to, really, but I already promised Loki,” you said turning to him. “Shall we then?”

“We shall,” Loki replied, beaming.

Of course, the two of you had not planned on dancing together, but he was preening under the lie you’d told to your ex. The fact that you chose him completely unprompted made his heart grow wings and soar above the clouds. As for the dance, it was easy enough to follow the caller’s directions. This was the first time Loki had ever danced so causally, but his nimble feet, which were much more accustomed to waltzes and other Asgardian dances, were able to catch on rather quickly. It didn’t take him long to determine the square dance was his favorite one of the night.

After a couple more hours of dancing and avoiding Denzel, you and Loki snuck off, not before making a quick stop to thank your hosts, of course. The two of you went to your own family’s barn and climbed up to the loft, settling down in the plushy blankets and pillows you kept up there for chilly nights such as this. The conversation stayed light for a while, but it inevitably took a turn toward more serious topics.

“I was asking around today,” you said. “I’m so sorry, Loki, but no one had any clue who you were.”

“It is ok, do not concern yourself with this. If I did not know any better, I would say you were trying to get rid of me.”

“I’m really not, I swear,” you said, chewing your bottom lip, though Loki had been fully teasing. “No one is anymore, really.”

“Are you sure about that?” he inquired, thinking of Denzel.

“Why did someone say something to you?”

“No. It is like I said, do not worry.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you snuggled further into his side, desperate to keep the cold away. He put his arms around you and squeezed you tighter, saying a little heating enchantment in his head.

“You know, I think James would’ve liked you,” you decided, eyelids beginning to droop.

“Perhaps. But...”

“Yes?”

“But there is still so much we do not know about me. What if have done something terrible?”

“While I’m sure you haven’t, let’s say you did do something you’re not proud of,” you indulged him. “The only thing stopping us from having a present we can enjoy and a future we can love, is a past we can’t forget.”

“Well, I do not remember, anyway. But what if it is really bad?”

“All I mean is, you have to be able to forgive. To let go.”

He could hear in your tone that you were thinking of your brother. As much as he did not want to admit it, Loki would have been upset had Thor died. He could only imagine the pain you felt when you’d heard the news. But he supposed you were able to forgive whoever it was whose irresponsibility had led to James’s death. It was yet another thing to admire about you, for sure.

“I suppose you are right.”

“Yeah, I am,” you agreed, finally letting your tired head drop and nuzzling into his shoulder.

He brought you down to a more comfortable position, laying down with your head on his chest, letting his heart beat wildly in your ear. Lying awake, he thought back to what he’d said earlier about wanting to stay forever. Lingering in the back of his mind was always the knowledge that he most likely would not be able to. If he were, though, would he still want to? A large part of himself still wanted to loathe the domestic simplicity of this life. In a way, being so far removed from everything, living high up in palace towers, was easier. Still, he could not find it in himself to dislike this quaint town with charming people. Plus, there was you.

The little sigh of contentment that you made as he hugged you closer let him completely make up his mind. This was where he wanted to stay, this is what he wanted, and he’d do everything he could to make sure he got to keep it.

“Sleep well, my darling,” he whispered, placing a small kiss to your forehead. “Sleep well.”

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Back again, with my opinions that no one asked for.  This time, it’s my takes on the animated versions of Pyro.

1. X-Men: The Animated Series Pyro

This, this is my boy right here.  Look at this dork with his terrible 70′s fluffy hair, hanging out at the bar with his not-so-hetero life-partner Avalanche.  This was my first introduction to the character (in fact, the cartoon was my first introduction to X-Men in general, and sent me down the path of reading comics). 

This version of Pyro is an established career criminal and professional lackey, usually working for Mystique but not above a bit of robbery or kidnapping on the side if he’s bored.  He and Avalanche are presented as buddies who have probably been working together for awhile.  They first show up in the episode “The Cure,” hanging out on Muir Island waiting for Mystique to give  them orders, then completely screwing up Mystique’s plans when they decide to kidnap the scientist Dr. Adler for extra cash . Apparently Mystique can’t leave them to their own devices for even a day.  

Pyro also hilariously tries to flirt with Rogue by setting a chair on fire and making a bad pun.  It goes about as well as you’d expect:

Get your hands off of her, Pyro, she is too good for you.  (The best part about this is, I don’t think he even used his powers here?  He just tried to impress Rogue as “guy with a flamethrower,” rather than “fire-controlling mutant.”  No wonder she throws his dumb ass through the wall.)

Pyro and Avalanche both show up again later, alongside Blob, creating a distraction so that Mystique can try to assassinate Senator Kelly in the animated series version of the Days of Future Past storyline.  In a much later episode, the same trio cause trouble again to lure the X-Men out so that Mystique can try to win Rogue back to their side.  That episode feels out of continuity to the rest of the series, since a flashback shows Rogue previously working with the Brotherhood (alongside Pyro and Avalanche), but none of them recognize each other when they “first meet” in “The Cure.”  I can assume that maybe Rogue lost her memories in the trauma of absorbing Ms. Marvel, but I don’t know what Pyro and Avalanche’s excuse is.  Frequent head injuries?  Maybe they’re both just really dumb? 

I am fond of TAS Pyro, and he’s probably the closest to comics Pyro out of the animated adaptations, despite being portrayed as British rather than Australian.  He looks fairly similar to his comics counterpart, and fulfills the same role of being a hired pain-in-the-ass that annoys the X-Men, mostly for money, as well as being Avalanche’s BFF.  He’s also clearly a full-grown, experienced adult who’s probably somewhere in his thirties at least, which is about the age I estimate for comics Pyro.  He’s kinda dumb, but practical.  He just wants to commit crimes with Avalanche, get paid, and run away before the X-Men can beat him up.  That’s a reasonable dream, right? 

X-Men Evolution Pyro:

Well, at least the guy loves his work.  I give him an “A” for enthusiasm.

I have mixed feelings about this Pyro.  He’s a lot of fun, but not really the Pyro I know and love from the comics.  This Pyro is one of Magneto’s Acolytes rather than a member of the Brotherhood, working alongside Gambit, Colossus and Sabretooth.  He really, REALLY enjoys setting things on fire, and doesn’t seem to care who gets hurt in the process.  Or rather, he seems to also enjoy people getting hurt, and tends to laugh maniacally while torching things, to the point of seeming really unbalanced.  I can’t tell if he’s completely detached from reality and is viewing things like a video game, without a real understanding of consequences, or if he knows exactly what he’s doing, and just likes to hurt people.  Either way, Evo Pyro seems much less stable than comic book Pyro, who can also be pretty wild and over-the-top in his fights and probably enjoys fire a little too much, but still acts an an overall rational person. 

Meanwhile, Evo Pyro repeatedly watches a video of Magneto seeming to die and laughs hysterically at it:

He is delighted when Wolverine shows up looking for a fight (because he was “bored out of his skull,”), and seems disappointed when Wolverine leaves abruptly afterwards.  It’s interesting that, after Magneto’s apparent death (not really) in Evolution, the other Acolytes all go off on their own, but Pyro hangs out alone in their base, as if he doesn’t really have a life to go back to, or any real identity outside of being “Pyro.”  When the series ends, he is shown in the future as having joined the Brotherhood (with Toad, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Blob and Avalanche), apparently working for SHIELD in some kind of Freedom Force style team.  I’d like to imagine that he’s super cheerful and friendly when he first joins up, and they are all a little bit terrified of him. 

The character design is different, but looks pretty good for a re-imagining of the character.  They’ve remembered the most important aspects of Pryo, namely “scrawny,” “fire colors,” and “crazy blond hair all over the place.”  He also seems to be actually Australian, judging by him using the term “down under” at one point.  In fitting with the “teen X-Men” theme of Evolution, this Pyro looks very young.  If the Brotherhood are all in high school, Pyro looks like he’s college age, like a couple of years older at most.

Like I said, Evo Pyro is fun, and surprisingly popular (I find a lot of Evo Pyro fan-stuff when I’m looking for comics Pyro), but it kinda feels like he got shafted, story-wise.  In both this series and Wolverine and the X-Men, cartoons where the Brotherhood got a bigger role and more development, Pyro didn’t make the cut as a Brotherhood member and wound up in a minor role as an Acolyte.  He feels kind of under-developed, and is mostly there to either be menacing or comic relief. 

Wait a minute....menacing....comic-relief....under-developed.......laughs hysterically at violence......

Maybe Duggan has actually been writing Evolution Pyro in Marauders this whole time?

I don’t want to take anything away from fans of Evo Pyro, but I kinda wonder what we could have gotten if he’d been a Bayville high school student and part of the more sympathetic teen Brotherhood.  Would he have a better developed character?  Would they have made him an annoying twerp like Toad (I say that with great affection, Toad is probably my favorite Evo character) or a smug secretly-insecure hot-shot like Quicksilver?  Or anger issues like Evo Avalanche?  Would they let him keep his original name and nationality, or would he be an American teen with a cutesy on-the-nose name like Ash Embers or Flameo Hotman?    We’ll never know!

Wolverine and the X-Men Pyro:

Again an Acolyte rather than a Brotherhood member, this Pyro has even less development than Evo Pyro.  He shows up in the first episode being rescued from the Mutant Response Division (along with Boom Boom, Dust, and others).  In that scene, he’s clearly meant to be Australian (saying “mate,”), and appears to be on friendly terms with Boom Boom and Dust.  Later on Genosha, he seems to be one of Magneto’s guards/lackeys, and doesn’t appear to mind Dust being thrown in prison.  He’s either a true believer, or is mercenary and practical-minded like comics Pyro, and has decided that following Magneto is his best chance for survival,  Pyro does apologize to Nightcrawler and offer a quick “Nothing personal,” when Magneto sends the Acolytes after him, so maybe he doesn’t revel in his work the same way Evo Pyro does.  The only other notable thing he does is get in trouble for telling Lorna news about Wanda going missing (Magneto is pissed enough to throw him into a cell for that), so I assume that this Pyro is also a massive gossip.  It’s the best I can do with what very little we get of him.  The X-Men don’t seem to have any issue with Pyro (or even recognize him) when they first rescue him, so I’m guessing that he didn’t have any criminal history before joining Magneto in Genosha?  Unlike TAS series Pyro, who’s overall attitude is, “Be gay, do crimes!  And by crimes, I mean arson and kidnapping!” 

I’m not fond of this design.  It’s a nice updated look, and really more stylish than what he’s worn in the comics, but the hair is too douche-bag frat-boy for me, and I can’t get past the little soul-patch on his chin.  Shave that nonsense, Pyro, you can’t pull off facial hair.  He looks older than Evo Pyro but younger than comics Pyro - maybe mid-to-late 20′s? 

This Pyro is sadly kinda forgettable.  I’m not sure why Pyro got largely skipped over as a Brotherhood member in later X-Men cartoons, but the fact that the character was long dead in the comics by the time the cartoons aired probably had something to do with it.  Kinda sad that they wasted the potential they could have gotten out of teen Bobby vs. teen Pyro in Evolution, though. 

(Come to think of it, Gambit got similarly shafted in Evolution and Wolverine and the X-Men, since they pushed him into a minor recurring side-character role.  At least in the original X-Men TAS, Gambit actually got to be an X-Man and main character.)  

Obviously, TAS Pyro is my favorite out of these, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.  Nothing wrong with being a fan of Evo Pyro or even the barely there WatXM Pyro, they’re all good!

[hamaon]

JGY or WWX?

I feel like a fair disclaimer to give before getting to Wei Wuxian is that I watched the Untamed despite, not because of, wangxian! I originally checked out the beginning of the animated series because someone I followed was getting into it, but I already had an inkling that the main romantic relationship in this romance wouldn’t be my cup of tea. The Untamed followed, more than half a year later, really only because I had hit the gorgeous soundtrack on youtube.

How I feel about this character Part of the reason I presumed I wouldn’t be into wangxian was because neither of the main players really spoke to me, and on this account I am happy to have been proven wrong! When I finished the show, Wei Wuxian was probably my favorite character. There's something very satisfying about a surface-level heroic main character hitting his absolute lowest points and starting to be actively harmful to himself and others. “This is all I’ve ever wanted for the class clown type of character”, I think I said at some point. Let it all burn.

I go back and forth on whether I find the flightier parts of his personality charming or annoying, but it’s a spectrum. The Untamed version is my favorite, character-wise.

All the people I ship romantically with this character Nie Huaisang, in the sense that, what with their roles in the plot, it would be fascinating to see how things would play out if this was the main romance, instead. Especially because romance would not be Nie Huaisang’s priority. What would the relationship trajectory even be, teenage sweethearts, ending with a definitive breakup by the finale? I've never sat down with the idea long enough to do anything with it, but sometimes it comes back to me. The main reason I'm into it is because hey, it's the main character & the main driving force behind the story! this is an intellectual puzzle to work out!, but they also had nice, easy chemistry when they were young and seemed to enjoy each other's company, which was something that was... not present in the actual main ship as far as I could see, and apparently my only kink is obvious mutual interest and stability in a relationship. I don't think they really had romantic/sexual chemistry in particular, but hey.

Wen Ning. I just think ningxian is cute. Also has lots of potential for difficult and uncomfortable exploration re: consent and autonomy.

But I think at the end of the day, the only relationship he has that just by the actual shape of it would be something I'd be interested in seeing turn into a romantic and/or sexual relationship is with Wen Qing, which, uh. Yeah. The fond push-and-pull, the two leaders, it’s good stuff. Just a physical relationship during their hunkering together time would be fun, too.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Jiang Cheng. I remember originally being pretty peeved about the fact that the romance (censored or not) is treated as the main focus when the Yunmeng duo is, to me, the real heart of the story. Let Lan Wangji be a supporting character.

I'm not sure if I really want a reconciliation between them, personally, but I want to note that it’s not because I think it would be fundamentally impossible, or because one or both of the characters is genuinely better off without the other. I think it would be very good for them if they managed some sort of genuine healing together!

I don’t want a reconciliation because thinking about their complete and total failure to communicate and consequently never making up makes me experience genuine agony in a very satisfying way. I have in the past gone into people's tags for the two of them and managed to work myself into a sobbing mess within five minutes. It is extremely cathartic.

My unpopular opinion about this character That time when he walks into a Jin party and starts throwing threats 3-2-1, part of me is going “fuck yeah” and part of me is looking at all the collateral damage servants trying to stay out of the way in the background, who never asked to be terrorized by this very powerful man. It’s not something that makes me dislike the character in any way or form, as stated before if anything it just makes him more interesting to me, I just don’t think that it was an uncomplicatedly ‘cool’ moment.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon The man should be actually responsible for his own misdeeds. I’ve heard people say that this was a censorship thing, but I have no sources on that.

And A-Yao gets to go under a read more.

How I feel about this character Continuing down the nostalgia lane, my initial reactions were “this man smiles very deliberately” and, towards the end, “man, fuck the gentry, you should get to win”.

I, hm. It feels sometimes like there are two kinds of opinions that fans have, and I don’t connect with either of them! There’s the “this character is an unrepentant asshole and I’m proud of that, you don’t need to make up sympathetic motivations for villains” which, while I agree that he can justify a lot to himself, just doesn’t ring true to me. I think that many of his actions were either forced by the circumstances, or understandable, or sympathetic and made with decent intentions, or not particularly bad compared to shit that other characters and their society as a whole gets to.

Obviously there are all these breakdowns about the specific acts of altruism that he does that in-universe are rare from someone that high up in power, and those are great, but even without all of that, he was a stable, peaceful, competent ruler who wasn’t doing any large-scale nasty shit after a series of complete nightmares on the throne, and upsetting that long-standing balance should bring about repercussions for several social classes that does more harm than anything he was individually doing at any point.

As for the other take, there’s the “oh no he’s so small and so cute and should be pampered so much” which I don’t... get, emotionally, and additionally it is reaaal hard for me to see the character as someone who either wants or would even particularly enjoy being the one being taken care of. Usually my response is-

There’s that part during Nie Mingjue’s capture in Empathy where he’s just, running the whole show? Like, on one hand it is very important that he’s probably the weakest person in the room, and might lose in a direct confrontation against even the random soldiers standing to the sides, and if he plays his cards wrong or even sub-optimally one of the two big strong cultivators in his vicinity is going to pulverize him, and also aware of all of this at all times and living in low-key terror. But also -- he pulled it off.

If I’m working myself toward some emotional response with “A-Yao small” it doesn’t end with “someone should hold him 🥺” but with “and doesn’t that just make it all the sweeter that he sat on that throne”. (I have two kinks, and the other one is power reversal.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character Only Lan Xichen, really, but there are some tentative side paths to take!

Qin Su, in that the initial attraction would be fun to explore, and then it becomes less about the relationship dynamic and more about the underlying horror.

Nie Huaisang, in a not-particularly-serious, one-sided, never-happened-and-now-it-never-will kind of way. The ideal would be Jin Guangyao thinking of Nie Huaisang as a tiring but cute little brother figure (he doesn't have those, all of his family relationships sans mom take a weird turn at some point! this one sure is about to!), while Nie Huaisang has a lil crush, and then it goes all the way to hell. ...And I know that I set “won’t happen” as a precondition, but I guess if there was a character who keeps the (fierce or not) corpse of the late Chief Cultivator close in an effort to feel alive post-canon, Nie Huaisang is the one I’d want for that role.

Jiang Cheng, because that family unit is so under-explored in canon, and because out of a handful of favorite characters these two are usually my number one, so watching them interact with each other can be fun just because of that. But in my heart of hearts I want Jiang Cheng to stay forever single by choice, and really I'm just here for platonic family shenanigans with Jin Ling. (I've written some of this, but out of everything it's probably the least likely to ever see the light of day.)

But really only Lan Xichen. When I was watching the early episodes and didn't remember the characters well and in my head these two were only “the disturbingly handsome older brother” and “a bit part soldier (lol) from some other sect” I really imprinted on that goodbye scene, like damn, look at these characters who are friendly with each other and showing obvious interest. It's only the circumstances that are getting in the way! If I were to ever read fic from this show, it would be these two. (This was all a counter-reaction to early wangxian haha.) But increasingly it goes to show that what I'm really into is people having mutual and mutually recognized affection for each other, the negotiated part in the relationship being less about whether it'll happen and more about how to go about it. More romances that start with getting together instead of ending there.

I am laughing at my past self here though, after actually finishing the show my thoughts on xiyao were that it was nice that it was both there and stable (until, you know) and unknowable, whatever the shape of their relationship in private they are aware of it and have made their peace with it, and that's all I need to know, and now I'm sitting here with several WIPs, wondering if this is what finally pushes me to start publishing fanfiction.

My non-romantic OTP for this character Lan Xichen. No, I’m not interested in a non-romantic* read on their relationship, yes, I just want him here, too.

Also, the only other relationships of note here are with Meng Shi, Jin Ling and Qin Su, and using ‘non-romantic OTP’ for any of those feels off to me. Meng Shi and Jin Ling are at too much of an uneven level, Qin Su doesn’t reach OTP levels even if the romantic filter is off. Su Minshan and Xue Yang might be a better fit, but again, OTP level is too high. Early-canon Nie Huaisang... maybe.

*non-sexual is fine. never officially getting together w/mutual acknowledgement is fine.

My unpopular opinion about this character I think I already went off, so. The hat is fine, and the hate sounds performative and weirdly ignorant at times. I don't love the Untamed version, but it’s fine and the ones in other adaptations are fantastic, even. The warm yellow-brown combination looks really nice. More of the characters should wear hats, actually! Which I realize is an opinion influenced by historical Japanese and Korean dramas, which are of a different genre altogether (also not Chinese, but hats in official settings are a constant in all of these cultures). Nevertheless.

I wish it was used only post-timeskip in the Untamed, too, though, for more variety in costuming and to further differentiate the pre- and post-timeskip versions of the character.

...................................and a specific xiyao pet peeve also: I am becoming increasingly wary of the... either super common or I just happen to keep finding these, take where he’s some sort of unwilling/particularly hesitant participant in this relationship. Like I went back to watch parts of episode 4 (to figure out why it was that I was so sure Meng Yao would be swinging a sword around in future episodes and my conclusion is: because everyone else was swinging theirs) and even the initial interactions in the goodbye scene are like-

Meng Yao literally runs up to a guy waaay out of his league like “Hello I am bringing myself Forth because I have the audacity to assume you might Personally Want to Know that I am leaving and here are some pretty personal reasons why (gosh you really are lovely)”

Reactions I’ve seen to this: look at the little dude running away from his emotions

Me: w h a t

And then the natural conclusion here is that Lan Xichen is there to love him (with his dick and/or sunny personality) until he’s forced to accept it [serene face emoji] and it makes me. Not enjoy it much.

Ofc this doesn’t include normal human hesitations one might have about... anything and everything in life, really, but when it’s treated like this automatic character/relationship hurdle I’m just hhhh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon I'm pretty satisfied with things as they stand? Just like the relationship between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian makes me feel cathartic agony, Jin Guangyao's fate makes me feel cathartic rage. Look at the low-born bastard child go down the stairs of life, one last time!

......Sometimes I have my weak moments and do wish he had gotten away in the end, though.

[gavillain]

Thoughts on the Loki tv show then?

Short version: I'm liking it! I fully expected to hate the show given that I hated almost everything they did with Loki in the MCU after Dark World. However, they're doing a pretty good job. I think overall, it's a mixed bag for me, but a mixed bag is so much better than I was expecting that I'm very happy with it. Episode 3 really was a big step up after the first two eps and I hope future episodes continue.

Now if you want the long version, I've been writing up my thoughts after each episode to share on a private forum, so I'll copy and paste under the cut. Also spoilers galore past this point:

Ep.1 "Glorious Purpose" Loki himself is the big important thing so I'm gonna talk about him first, and I was both happy and disappointed with his characterization here. Let me explain. Tom Hiddleston obviously plays everything perfectly, and he did a great job on every moment. But the writing on Loki's character is pretty inconsistent. There were a LOT of moments that genuinely felt like they were right out of the golden era of MCU Loki that captured his speech patterns perfectly, his mannerisms, his world view, his humor. Those moments were legitimately there, and they were there more often than I was expecting. Ragnarok had Loki written wrong down to the dialogue and his manner of speaking, and so it was actually very refreshing to see him written generally well, particularly in his conversations with Agent Mobius. However there were multiple moments where he was blatantly written out of character to pander to jokes or to dip into that Ragnarok jokey joke tone. I audibly groaned at the "Am I robot" bit, which was SUCH low brow human and so not in line with the fact that Loki literally knows exactly what he is and had a "species reveal" that was very important to his character. I also would have liked him to be a little more violent. This man came out of a portal, saw SHIELD agents threatening him and immediately went into kill mode in Avengers. Yet this guy stands around and lets himself be taken and forced into situations a lot. But overall, I was happy with his general characterization because I expected the bad stuff to be much worse and it wasn't and the good stuff was more plentiful than I expected. I wasn't fond of the "I don't enjoy hurting people" bit because it's weepy and wrong, but it also was an expected development and I do appreciate that they're at least delving deep into his character on an intellectual level and playing off that "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself" line of Frigga's. There's potential to do something interesting with him here, so I'm intrigued if not convinced. The Time Keepers concept I hate, but I think I hate it because Loki ALSO hates it and we're a bit too alike in a few regards even here XD I just kind of wish it was less bureaucratic and "we're a joke about corporate offices" and was something more mystical and other worldly. I feel like if it was more science fantasy and ethereal feeling, I would probably be a lot more down for it. But I guess you gotta save money somehow. Agent Mobius is likable, and I like how he can go toe to toe with Loki and how he's kind of morally neutral. I called that Loki was the dangerous time variant disrupting the timeline before it was revealed, but I have to wonder why in the final scene they kept his face hidden. That would have been a great opportunity to show Hiddles hamming up the evil bloodlust, and I am HUNGRY for that. But they kept that Loki hidden in shadows for a reason, and I have two theories regarding why: 1. It actually ISN'T Loki and Agent Mobius is wrong and our villain is someone else. 2. Our villain is LADY Loki and they're saving the reveal that villain Loki is a woman for a later episode. We'll see if I'm right. I HOPE it's number 2 if they kept him in shadow for a reason. So yeah. Not exactly what I wanted but we're on the right track at least for now. I hope this track leads somewhere interesting.

Ep.2 "The Variant" So, first things first, this episode had "I Need a Hero" during a fight scene and TOTALLY botched it. It was way too early to play that card, the action didn't sync with the battle, and it was between a few nameless TVA agents and the evil Loki with the evil Loki still masked in shadow and not really doing much. It just lacked the OOMPH that I felt was necessary for it to be satisfying. This should have been done better. Loki characterization update: less good and less bad than episode one at the same time. There was no "Am I a robot?" cringe, but there was a lot less of the really good Loki dialogue that caught my attention in episode 1. His seemed to have kinda settled back to the mediocrity of Ragnarok Loki with occasional moments of intrigue such as his whole bit about a wolf's ears and teeth. Loki's obviously planning to overthrow the time keepers and to become the new master of time, and he even says as much to his alternate counterpart this episode. I have a sick feeling they're going to have him grow to like the TVA and to save the time stream, but I really want him to follow through with his plans because I think that's much more interesting than the alternative. Will they do it? Time will tell. I also like how much he utterly does not give a shit about Mobius's condolences about Ragnarok happening. That was a good touch. Speaking of Mobius, I still don't care for him or the TVA. They're all just very boring to me, and I don't like Loki being caged to follow their bidding. It's restraining a hurricane of excitement by forcing it to play within this very structured framework instead of burning through freely. With Loki escaping into the timestream to chase after the other Loki, hopefully that will change for the better next episode. Mobius himself gets his character expanded a bit, but his expansion is literally that he is just a cog who doesn't question his purpose and does what he does because it's what he's told to do. And that's just not compelling to me. Sidebar: Ravona, Kang the Conqueror's lover, is the head of the TVA. A fun tidbit but where's Kang? I like the way the episode explored how time variants can't happen during massive catastrophes and apocalypses because everyone dies and everything gets destroyed, so they're safe places for time variants to hide and interact with history. I enjoyed Loki and Mobius going back and messing with Pompeii right before Vesuvius erupts to test that theory. That was fun (though I wish Loki would have, instead of just acting silly and making a scene, would have done his "Kneel before me" bit on the Pompeiians or something more villainous). And I liked the whole aesthetic of them exploring a massive hurricane in Alabama in 2050 and the whole aesthetic going on there. It gave the episode an epic quality. The evil Loki was revealed in this episode, and the twist is that she's Lady Loki. Yeah, I called it. She hasn't done much herself yet and we haven't seen her do much except posses the bodies of various others and then break the timeline with multiple sprawling timeline variants, both of which is very cool. I'm excited for her, though my biggest complaint is that she has blonde hair. No. Lady Loki has BLACK hair. Why didn't they stick her in a black wig or have the actress dye her hair??? AMORA is the blonde Asgardian villainess. Lady Loki has the same hair color as Loki. And... look, I know it's a dumb detail to get hung up on, but the black hair matters to me because Loki has black hair and his beautiful female form does too and I always liked that for personal reasons. Also, she doesn't want to be called "Loki" apparently which is weird but okay, so what DOES she want to be called? I swear if they name her Amora or Sigyn, I'm gonna throw something.

But yeah, the next episode I think promises to be a change of pace, and we can see if Loki can truly spread his wings free of the TVA. I hope he does.

Ep.3 "Lamentis" This was the best episode yet! And for MULTIPLE reasons. This episode sees Loki and Lady Loki Sylvie stranded together in time. It was away from the TVA and it's boring qualities, which was great, and it put two very interesting characters in a situation where they had to rely on each other. This is more of what I was HOPING we'd get from the show. It's a lot more engaging and fun. The TVA always feel like they have their boot on our necks, and having that boot gone, it's amazing how much easier it is to breathe. And I honestly think that was intentional too with regards to how Sylvie outright calls them tyrannical fascist time police. The whole thing with Loki and Sylvie being stranded on the planet Lamentis during its apocalypse is super cool too. First of all, Lamentis is BEAUTIFULLY designed. I can tell they relied on desert locales to save on the budget, but the purple sky, the colorful train, and the neon alien city are all really pleasing to look at. And with the sky literally falling around them, it looks even cooler and the stakes feel cosmic and intense because they ARE. A very good setting that felt refreshing after the very mundane TVA headquarters and Earth scenes. Loki continues to be a sort of mixed bag with weird moments of humor that feel like they were written by someone else for another character, but those moments were a lot more sparse this time around too. Tom is still unmatched in the role, and I love the way he got to be serious, smug, manipulative, and sincere in this episode. I've kinda accepted and settled into anti-hero Loki for this series, and I'm honestly pretty okay with it here. See, I think my issues with Loki being "good" is that it comes with making amends with Thor or working for the TVA. Seeing him pursuing his own agenda on his own terms and collaborating with a kindred spirit who he seems to genuinely like is a lot easier to stomach because it feels a lot more true to the freedom that is so potent about his villainy. I loved him talking about Frigga and how she taught him her magic. That was a genuinely powerful moment. Also even though his dagger metaphor for love got kinda undercut by a joke, I think it was quite good writing and really cut to the point of what makes Loki tic. Also this episode marks a VERY important moment: Loki was canonized on screen as being bisexual in the MCU. He is the FIRST queer main character in the MCU and the first queer main protagonist of a Disney show. And I like the way they did it too! The way Sylvie asked about if he had any dalliances with princesses and then adds "or princes" and Loki says "a bit of both." It was simple and direct and unambiguous, and I love it because Loki has always BEEN queer in the MCU and the writing for him has been very queercoded. Even if that little moment is all it amounts to, it really matters and means a lot to me that they did it and I'm so happy for it. I hope they give him a boyfriend though. Like PLEEEEASE Marvel. Sylvie I'm more okay with this time around. She IS established as Sylvie and not really identifying as Loki anymore, so I can separate her from my preconception of Lady Loki and not mind the BLONDE so much. Sylvie is the name of the second Enchantress in the comics, an Enchantress that Loki himself created. I'm interested to see where they go with her backstory and who she is and what her deal is because they've been implying that she differs from the main Loki quite a lot to the point where she barely even remembers who Frigga was. I also like that Loki's response to the bisexual question implies that Sylvie is bi too. Get that MLM/WLW solidarity. I hope they don't ship them, but I hope they DO stay friends and allies because I'm loving their friendship chemistry. Also, a minor thing in the grand scheme of this episode, but Loki SINGS in this one! And I love it! Tom's always had a very pretty voice that he's gotten to show off in other roles so I'm glad he got to show off his singing in this role too. The Norse folk song he sings was both jovial and somber all at once, and I

loved it. We deserved this Minor nitpick: please give Loki his Asgardian clothes back or something. Because this TVA suit is fucking ugly and I hate it. Sylvie looks so good next to him, and he deserves to be just as stylish. This was a GREAT turning point. PLEEEEEASE keep it up. F&WS failed to. But I genuinely believe that Loki can do it.

[mst3kproject]

Light Blast

What’s this?  A death ray movie in which we actually see stuff get death rayed?  Aw, man, that might disqualify it for MST3K right there!  Fortunately for us, however, Light Blast was directed by Enzo Castellari, who brought us Escape 2000, and it stars Erik Estrada. Estrada was never on MST3K but he was on pretty much all the 70’s cop shows they kept referencing, including Mannix and Police Woman, and Mike and the bots would never have let him forget it.

So what do we want out of a death ray movie?  I dunno, some faces melting like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark would be cool, and Light Blast apparently read my mind on that count because we get the first melting face action before the ten minute mark! A couple of young people go to have sex in a boxcar (this scene includes a real classy upskirt shot, just three minutes in) while the bad guy tests his death ray, and in the fine tradition of kids just trying to bone at the beginning of movies, they get zapped.  Meanwhile, somewhere else, Erik Estrada in a speedo takes down a couple of bank robbers by hiding a gun inside a roast turkey.

This is gonna be a weird movie, isn’t it?

Sadly, Light Blast never again rises to that height of absurdity.  Evil Professor Yuri Svoboda has a death ray, and has decided to hold the city of San Francisco hostage for the princely sum of:

Was that even a lot of money in 1985?  According to dollartimes the conversion rate is about 2.5, so that would be $12.5 million today... still seems a little low for a major city.  Anyway.

To show he means business, Svoboda death rays the announcer’s box at a demolition derby.  Thence ensues a series of extremely uninspired car chases and a scene in which Estrada is repeatedly kicked in the avocados by a woman dressed as a nurse (I liked that bit).  Eventually he puts the pieces of the puzzle together, and never even bothers to tell us what the finished picture looks like before running off to what looks like it’ll be the final Power Plant Confrontation.  No such luck.  Svoboda escapes again, and Estrada has to chase him down to the final final confrontation.

There are two things here Castellari seems to really like. One is digital clocks, which are frequently the focus of the death ray for some reason.  The other is men staggering around on fire, filmed in the type of loving slow motion that turns this agonizing death into a moment of over-dramatic hilarity.  Remember in the Making Of Documentary for Return of the King, when Peter Jackson acknowledges that Denethor falling off the top of Minas Tirith while on fire is ridiculous?  Enzo Castellari is definitely not that self-aware.

He is also fond of car chases.  There are three or four of them in Light Blast and they’re competent, I guess.  They’re definitely better than the budget version you sometimes see in really cheap movies, in which the camera turns to watch one vehicle pass by, then repeats the shot with another.  There was probably a storyboard and so forth.  But they’re still pretty monotonous and mostly just look like people driving around with no sense of a destination or a narrative.  Instead, the movie tries to add interest by giving them ‘gimmicks’.

In one of the chases, Estrada doesn’t want the villain to know he’s being followed, so rather than using his own vehicle, he just hops into random people’s cars and makes them do the following.  In one he shows his badge and tells the driver he’s a cop. In another he tells the woman driving that he’s playing a practical joke on a friend from college.  Astonishingly, he never gets slapped or shot.

In another, he steals a race car in order to chase down Svoboda, who is fleeing to a boat from which he plans to death ray the entire city or something.  This chase includes two separate shots in which Estrada jumps the race car over some obstacle in his way, again filmed in slow motion.  In neither was there any sort of ramp to get the car off the ground. It’s like that scene in Speed where the fucking bus somehow jumps over a gap in the highway except they did it twice and slowly to give the audience time to think about how stupid it is. Then Estrada jumps the car again onto Svoboda’s boat, which has already left the dock, and somehow manages to stop on a dime rather than falling into the water.

I recognize that movies are not bound by the laws of physics, but those that get away with breaking them do so by walking a fine line. Things have to look possible. People running away from explosions looks like it should work, and very few of us have ever been in a position to find out what it’s actually like first-hand (partly because those of us who have probably didn’t live to tell about it).  The car jumps?  Nah.

Wikipedia includes a couple of reviews of this film that have been translated, not very well, from Italian.  They’re kind of hard to understand but they do seem to fixate on the preponderance of car chases.  They also reference another staple of 80’s action movies, which is excessive police brutality.  Estrada shoots a whole bunch of people, breaks into a power plant and a funeral home, steals cars, causes a dozen accidents and untold property damage, and bullies his girlfriend into risking her job in order to get him the information he needs.  Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

Other clichés drift by.  The villain gives a pretty classic monologue all about how he Showed Those Fools At The Academy and how his death ray will make him supreme ruler of the world and he’ll bring about a new age of peace.  There’s a bit where Estrada and his partner, the Tall Guy (these characters do have names, I just don’t care) sit down at the kitchen table and put together what they’ve learned… but instead of some exposition to tell us, the audience, what that is, we get a Ryan And Shane Look For Forrest Fenn’s Treasure montage but without the irony.  We can just barely hear fragments of voices through this, as the characters talk about it… enough to tease us with what they know and we don’t.

I dunno, it’s possible the audience is supposed to have already figured this stuff out and I just wasn’t paying attention.  I was pretty bored during most of this movie.

During the montage, the bad guys sneak up outside Estrada’s house (which is on a boat?  I think?) and open fire, basically shooting everybody but Estrada himself, who escapes completely unharmed.  His personality-deficient girlfriend isn’t so lucky… but she was only in this movie so it would have a part for Estrada’s real-life girlfriend Peggy Rowe. This bit is right up there with The Phantom Creeps as a perfect example of why Women In Fridges is screenwriting for hacks.  Estrada is already determined to get these guys.  He already cares about the people they’ve killed in the past and the ones they plan to kill in the future!  He is already frustrated by his failures to catch them!  ‘Making it personal’ is completely unnecessary!  Did the writers really think her death would add anything, or were they just trying to fill up their Action Movie Cliché Bingo card?

In the villain’s evil monologue, Svoboda reveals that apparently Estrada killed his wife?  I guess she was the mortician?  This doesn’t help, because I don’t think Svoboda actually knows that Estrada’s girlfriend is dead and even if he does, she wasn’t his target. His henchmen were after Estrada and Tall Guy.

Then there’s the ending, which is in no way a ‘climax’ and barely even counts as an ‘end’.  Remember I said Estrada jumps his racecar onto Svoboda’s boat?  This knocks the death ray over and it melts Svoboda himself.  Estrada watches this, then basically just shrugs and walks the fuck away.  So… that was it?  No confrontation?  No fight? Just a failure to properly secure the superweapon?

Isn’t the rest of the boat gonna melt now, too?  In previous uses the death ray seemed to melt things over a fairly wide area.  Isn’t anyone worried about that?  No, we’re just rolling the credits?  Okay, fine. At least the movie’s over.

Is there anything nice I can say about Light Blast? Well… I guess it passes the Bechdel Test.  There’s a bit, completely irrelevant to the plot, where two women who work at the police station discuss perfume.  It’s as if one of the writers had read about the Bechdel Test and shoved that in there just to pass it, without bothering to think about what the point of the ‘test’ is.

For all I’ve bitched about it, Light Blast isn’t a full on disaster.  It’s merely a mediocre 80’s action movie.  What makes it so damn disappointing is the wackiness of that early scene with Estrada in his underwear and the gun in the turkey.  That bit has the same effect as naming your movie Hercules Against the Moon Men – it gives the audience the impression that you have a sense of humour, and then the rest of the film can be nothing but the slow downward spiral of realizing that you were, in fact, serious.  Even then, it still could have been fun if the writers and director had kept up that kind of cheese throughout but no… Light Blast couldn’t even be bad enough to be good.

If any of you MSTies reading this are aspiring film-makers, let this be the lesson for you: the introduction of your main character sets the tone.  Do that wrong, or in a way that doesn’t match the rest of your movie, and you’re sunk. And if you only have one interesting or funny idea, for love of Apearlo put that at the end of the movie, not the beginning!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really THAT Bad?

I’m going to warn you all now. This one is going to get a bit angry at the end. Normally I would try and remain as professional as possible, but in this case, I don’t feel like I would be able to.

Batman & Robin is a film that has lived in infamy since its release in 1997. Upon release, it was critically reviled, and this hatred of the film continued long into the modern day, where it frequently tops “worst films of all time lists” to the point where it actually is listed on the Wikipedia page for “List of films considered the worst.” It was nominated for at least 11 Razzies but only won a single one, and it went on to be a frequent punching bag on the {REDACTED] Critic’s web show, where he would get irrationally angry at the mere mention of the Bat Credit Card. In contemporary reviews, Mick LaSalle of The San Francisco Chronicle stated “"George Clooney is the big zero of the film, and should go down in history as the George Lazenby of the series,” which is less of a criticism and more of a compliment, if I’m being totally honest.

Most of the stars would take a negative stance towards it as well, with legend stating that if you tell George Clooney that you saw the film in theaters, he will refund you for your ticket out of his own pocket. Chris O’Donnell likewise is not particularly fond of the film, stating "It just felt like everything got a little soft the second time. On Batman Forever, I felt like I was making a movie. The second time, I felt like I was making a kid's toy commercial." And, perhaps most depressingly, Joel Schumacher himself was apparently very apologetic for the film, though this may or may not have come about because of years and years of vitriol being directed at him for making this film.

In the wake of Mr. Schumacher’s passing, I decided to re-watch the film, as I am famously rather fond of it, and I am going to tell you all why the answer to the question “Is it really THAT bad?” is a loud, resounding, NO.

THE GOOD

There’s honestly quite a lot to like here, more than you might think. I think first and foremost what you need to understand going in is that this is a silly, cartoonish take on the Burton style, blending the silliness and camp of the West series with the drama and aesthetics of the Burton films, all while adding some over-the-top, colorful flair. John Glover, who appears in the film as a cartoonish mad scientist, even has gone on record as saying "Joel would sit on a crane with a megaphone and yell before each take, 'Remember, everyone, this is a cartoon'. It was hard to act because that kind of set the tone for the film”… the last sentence makes the statement very baffling, but at least even the actors were aware of what they were doing. If this doesn’t sound appealing, well, the opening is sure to warn you off, as it is a suiting up montage with various shots of the firm butts, large codpieces, and stiff batnipples of the Dynamic Duo. The movie is very upfront about what you’re in for.

On the subject of the infamous batnipples, Schumacher stated "I had no idea that putting nipples on the Batsuit and Robin suit were going to spark international headlines. The bodies of the suits come from Ancient Greek statues, which display perfect bodies. They are anatomically correct." It seems a very odd choice, but it’s pretty clear that he meant it as an amusing little design choice and nothing more. Of course, this hasn’t stopped everyone and their mother from spewing homophobic comments about how he was purposefully making the film gayer, even from star George Clooney, who has said that he played Batman as a gay man and was told by Schumacher Batman is gay. It’s so disgusting that people did and continue to do this, because honestly, the costumes are fine, and even if they are meant to be fanservice… so what? O’Donell and Clooney’s asses look nice, as does Alicia Silverstone’s when she dons a suit. The fact hers is just as form-fitting as the other two really shows that the whole idea Schumacher did it because he was gay is ridiculous; the man was very egalitarian about the fanservice in the movie.

Whatever else Clooney says, he does a pretty great job as Batman and Bruce Wayne. His speech at the end of the film where he talks to Mr. Freeze and reminds him that he is a good man and offers to help him is honestly one of the few moments in any Batman film where Batman actually feels like the one from the animated series, a man who fights crime but also wants to help the people he’s trying to stop. Clooney just has a very natural charisma that lends himself to playing a hero, and while there are a few awkward moments in the performance, he captures the fun and charm a more lighthearted Batman should. Michael Gough’s last turn as Alfred is also surprisingly poignant, and a lot of mileage is gotten out of his genuinely tearjerking subplot.

Of course, the very best part of the film is the villains. Uma Thurman is clearly having a ball as Poison Ivy, and she gets to have a ludicrous amount of costumes as well as numerous moments of fanservice. She also has the power to turn every man around her into a simp, which is absolutely amazing and leads to quite a few scenes of Batman and Robin slapping each other over her. But f course, there’s really no doubt that the best part of the film is Mr. Freeze. He’s a combination of the sillier Mr. Freeze from the West days and the more modern take of the character most are familiar with, the tragic anti-villain who wants to save his wife; such a character would take a talented man capable of comedy and drama in equal measure. And who better than Arnold Schwarzenegger? Joel Schumacher wanted a man who looked like he was chiseled from a glacier, and Arnold certainly fits that description. He spends the movie juggling some of the most corny puns you can imagine and a lot of truly powerful, understated drama, and it really does work. You honestly get the sense that Arnold really gets Mr. Freeze and what makes him a great character. Also, that suit he has is amazing.

As a final note: the Bat Credit Card is absolutely not stupid. Linkara has defended it in the past, giving reasons why and how it could actually work, but really, all that needs to be said is… is this any more ridiculous than Shark Repellent Bat Spray?

THE BAD

So don’t get the wrong idea here; this film is far from perfect. As is the case with any comedy, the humor can be hit or miss; not all of the puns land, not all of the jokes are great. You’re never going to get a perfect comedy no matter how hard you try, and this is no exception.

As for performances, I think O’Donnell’s Robin and Silverstone’s Batgirl are a bit wonky. O'Donnell has long been a source of derision for his whining, and while I think the hate is a bit overblown, he does spend a ludicrous amount of time in this film being snippy, miserable, and arrogant. I think he actually fights with Batman more than any of the villains! Still, his performance isn’t horrible, he just gets a bit too whiny at a few points.

Silverstone is a bit of a bigger problem, but she’s not quite as bad as even I remembered. She’s pretty much Batgirl in name only, since she’s related to Alfred in this, but she’s mostly okay. The issue really is that her arc in the film is relatively bland and feels a bit shoehorned, which comes to a head where she fights Poison Ivy in a designated catfight, obviously because they didn’t want Batman to punch a woman in the face I guess. There’s just one issue with that:

On the subject of Ivy, while she definitely does have plant powers here, they’re strangely underplayed. She rarely uses them even when it would probably be beneficial, instead relying on Bane to do most of the fighting for her. Ah, Bane… Bane is one of the few things about this film I can’t really muster up any sort of defense for. While his creation scene is rather cool, it doesn’t lead to much of interest, as this version of Bane is pretty much a mindless supersoldier lackey who serves Poison Ivy. Now, this was still relatively early in Bane’s existence, as he had only debuted in 1993 and was really most famous for his signature “breaking the Bat” move, but it still is baffling why, with that famous thing fresh in everyone’s minds, that they would just choose to go and basically make Bane into Evil Diet Captain America. Surely they could have either saved him for a sequel or utilized him in a way more befitting of the character? I think this Bane is kind of responsible for the negative perception of Bane as this big, dumb bruiser, something that works like The Dark Knight Rises and Arkham Origins have thankfully gone a long way to rectifying. Bane is at his best when he’s a cunning genius bruiser; here, he’s nothing but a glorified prop.

Is It Really THAT Bad?

The answer is no. No it isn’t. AT ALL.

I’ve always felt this film came out at the wrong time. It was towards the end of the 90s, during the Dark Age of Comics when everything was dark, gritty, and edgy. The world didn’t want a movie like this back then; they wanted stuff like Blade, who would come in shortly after this film and show us how to make that aesthetic work. I guess in terms of Batman they wanted something more like Dawn of Justice, which really speaks volumes to how awful the 90s were for superheroes. 

Look, I’m not trying to convince anyone this is the greatest Batman film ever. Even I don’t think that; Batman Returns, The Dark Knight, and Under the Red Hood are all much better films. But is this really the worst Batman film now that we have the deeply misogynistic and disgusting The Killing Joke and the relentlessly bleak and unpleasant Batman v Superman? Hell, it’s not even worse than Batman Forever! At least the Batman in this film has some kind of emotional range beyond “plank of wood!” And even calling it the worst sequel ever is just… so baffling. Again, this is definitely better than Batman Forever, lack of Jim Carrey notwithstanding. And can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this is worse than any of the Terminator sequels after the second film? Worse than Iron Man 2 or Thor: The Dark World? The almost half dozen Alvin and the Chipmunk sequels? This is only the worst sequel or even a bad sequel if it is the only sequel you’ve ever seen in your life.

A lot of the hate for it from back in the day carries a strong undercurrent of homophobia. Much like the infamous backlash against disco, it’s seriously uncomfortable, and it definitely is cruel how accusatory people were towards Schumacher’s intentions for the suits of the heroes in the film. The fact that even the two main stars have gotten in on it is a bit disgusting, though O’Donnell questioning why there needed to be a codpiece is certainly less offensive than George Clooney saying he played Batman as a gay man for… whatever reason. Was he implying that Batman being gay made the movie worse? I’m not sure what he’s on about there. Even The New Batman Adventures made a cruel dig at the film; notice the sign and the effeminate-looking boy. You could only get homophobia this good in the 90s!

The hatred of this film is absolutely overblown. It’s so ridiculous. #70 on the bottom rated movies of IMDB? #1 on the 50 worst films of all time list from Empire? Doug Walker’s personal punching bag whenever he needs to talk about a bad sequel, to the point where he literally said no one wanted a comedic take on Batman in his worst sequels video? Come the fuck on.

Joel Schumacher may or may not have ended up hating this film, but he certainly was made to feel like shit for making it… and it is honest to god not that bad! But he was just absolutely eviscerated, to the point where this was a fucking headline when he died:

Literally fuck all of these people. Fuck io9 for their insensitive headline. Fuck Empire for rating this as the worst film ever. Fuck Doug Walker for his constant bashing and his shitty old “chimp out over the Bat Credit Card” gag. Double fuck Mick LaSalle for shitting on George Clooney’s performance while also trying to say George Lazenby’s Bond was bad. In fact, fuck George Clooney for his weird idea that playing Batman as gay is a bad thing (sorry George, but I can’t defend this). Fuck the Razzies. Yes, it was nominated, but I just feel it’s always a good time to say “Fuck the Razzies.”

I will never say you have to love or even like this film, but the sheer amount of vitriol and hatred for it is absolutely beyond me. At worst, this film is just a bit too goofy, and at best, it is a fun tribute to the campy days when Batman just couldn’t get rid of a bomb. I didn’t take off my score this time. I’m proud to say I gave this an 8/10, personally. If I’m being honest, a 6.6 – 6.9 is more appropriate, because it does have quite a few issues, but god, this film is not bad at all. It’s silly, goofy, campy, and fun… but bad? Not by any stretch of my imagination. And fuck the critics for convincing an entire generation that this is Batman at his worst, when we have Batman fucking slaughtering his ways through criminals and fucking Barbara Gordon on rooftops these days. I will always take stupid ice puns over misery, murder and creepy intergenerational sex, thank you very much.

I hope you can rest easy, Mr. Schumacher. Maybe you didn’t love your film in the end but, wherever you are, I hope you know I loved it.

[recentanimenews]

Random Reads 2/18/21

Are You in the House Alone? by Richard Peck Are You in the House Alone? came out in 1976 and though I totally could’ve read it when I was a teen—and thus still a member of its target audience—I never did.

Gail Osburne is a sixteen-year-old high school junior and native New Yorker who’s not at home in the quaint Connecticut village her family relocated to several years back. I knew that the plot involved Gail receiving menacing anonymous notes and phone calls, and I was expecting these events to get started quickly and the suspense to remain high throughout. But that doesn’t happen.

Instead, the story is told retroactively, so we know Gail survives. Also, obvious culprit is obvious. (I hope the reveal wasn’t intended to be a surprise, but perhaps readers were less savvy about such things in 1976.) Initially, much more of the focus is on Gail’s relationships with her parents, boyfriend, and best friend, and in particular how the latter two are in the slow process of dissolution. Eventually she receives some threatening notes and creepy phone calls, gets scared, is let down by people in positions of authority, and comes face-to-face with said obvious culprit. That happens halfway through this slim novel. The rest of the book is about Gail’s recovery from her ordeal.

I thought Are You in the House Alone? was going to be fun, suspenseful fluff, but it turned out to be fairly serious and occasionally (intentionally) infuriating. I really appreciated how Peck was able to weave in a couple of threads that seemed very random at first and make them integral to the denouement, too. Ultimately, I didn’t love the book, but I kind of… respect it, if that makes sense. It didn’t go the cheap route.

The Automatic Detective by A. Lee Martinez Mack Megaton is a hulking robot who was created to destroy. He developed self-determination, however, and went against his programming. Now, he’s a probationary citizen of Empire City, where mutagens and pollution have created a very diverse population. While some “biologicals” are still “norms,” others have been physically transformed (like rat-like Detective Alfredo Sanchez) and others have been changed in not-so-visible ways (like Mack’s friend, Jung, a talking gorilla with refined literary taste). Mack works as a cab driver and is trying to keep a low profile, but when his neighbors are abducted, he can’t help but try to rescue them. This gets him into all sorts of trouble, of course.

Despite its name, The Automatic Detective isn’t really much of a mystery. I suppose it’s more… sci-fi noir. Mack meets various thugs, beats some of them up, gets beat up himself, etc. Slowly, he makes progress on uncovering a huge conspiracy. At times, I felt like Martinez was a little too enamored of the gimmick he created, and places in the middle dragged a bit as a result, but the ending is pretty satisfying and overall the book was enjoyable enough, even though it’s quite far from the sort of thing I usually read.

As a final note: I really liked that Martinez limited himself when it came time to invent universe-specific profanity. Instead of the text being liberally sprinkled with words like “frell” or “frak,” the phrase “Oh, flurb” appears but once (during a moment where the meaning is 100% apparent) and made me laugh out loud.

I don’t know if I’m necessarily eager to read more by Martinez, but I’m glad I read this one.

The Inimitable Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse When I read My Man Jeeves back in 2010, I was somewhat disappointed because so much of it was repetitive. While there are some common elements that recur within the eleven stories that comprise The Inimitable Jeeves, it is still so very much superior that I’d now say… forget about that first book. Start here. Go back and read My Man Jeeves for completist purposes, if that’s your inclination, but start here for the best introduction to these characters and Wodehouse’s uniquely charming and amusing writing.

First published in 1923, The Inimitable Jeeves contains a linked set of stories that typically involve affable Bertie Wooster being imposed upon by either his eternally lovesick friend Bingo Little (who is “always waylaying one and decanting his anguished soul”) or his mischief-making younger cousins, Claude and Eustace. One plot thread involves convincing Bingo’s uncle (who provides him with an allowance) to agree to Bingo marrying a waitress. Jeeves comes up with the idea to ply the uncle with romance novels featuring class differences to soften his heart, and it ends up that Bertie is compelled to go visit the old fellow and claim to be the author. In addition to containing the most elegant description of sweat I’ve ever seen—“The good old persp was bedewing my forehead by this time in a pretty lavish manner.”—this situation is referenced a few times in subsequent stories until Bingo succeeds in getting married to a different waitress who really is the author of those romance novels.

So, even though you’ve got episodic happenings, it’s rather a satisfactory conclusion. Bertie is endearing, Jeeves is competent, the writing is excellent, and it made me laugh. (I especially liked when a character was described as resembling “a sheep with a secret sorrow.”) I’m so glad that I didn’t give up on the series after the first book; now I feel as though I finally see what the fuss is all about. I’d also like to give credit to the fabulous narration by Jonathan Cecil. I’m not sure if it’s deliberate, but I hear echoes of Fry and Laurie in his performance, and I heartily approve. I will certainly seek out more unabridged versions read by him.

The Murders of Richard III by Elizabeth Peters This is the second in the Jacqueline Kirby series of mysteries. I haven’t read the first, and wouldn’t normally begin with the second, but the book promised an English country mansion plus “fanatic devotees of King Richard III” so my usual routine flew right out the window.

Even before university lecturer Thomas Carter likened himself unto Watson, I’d noticed the similarities between how this tale is told and the Sherlock Holmes stories. We are never permitted inside Jacqueline’s head. Instead, we see her how Thomas, hopeful of one day securing her romantic affections, views her. It’s fairly interesting, actually, because Thomas’ opinion of her fluctuates, sometimes peevishly. “You drive me crazy with your arrogance and your sarcasm and your know-it-all airs,” he says at one point. And though he soon after claims “I’m no male chauvinist; I don’t mind you showing off,” the fact is that earlier he was grumbling inwardly about her feigning “girlish ignorance” to reel in mansplainers and then walloping the “unwitting victim” with a cartload of knowledge. It’s true that Jacqueline isn’t especially likeable sometimes, but for remorselessly trouncing the sexist louts she encounters throughout the book, I must commend her!

The mystery itself is somewhat bland, unfortunately. The leader of a Ricardian society has received a letter purportedly written by Elizabeth of York, which would exonerate Richard of the deaths of her brothers, the “princes in the tower.” He calls a meeting of the society, with each attendee costumed as one of the historical personages involved, and summons the press, planning to unveil his find with much fanfare. But someone begins playing practical jokes on the Ricardians reminiscent of the fates of the people they are pretending to be. The book isn’t a long one, and soon the pranks start coming right on the heels of one another. Because of the swift pace—and some shallow characterization—the solution is rather anti-climactic.

Still, while I’m not sure I’ll seek out any more Jacqueline Kirby mysteries, this was overall a decent read.

A Perfect Match by Jill McGown The series of books featuring Detective Inspector Lloyd (whose first name is a secret for now) and Detective Sergeant Judy Hill begins with a short yet enjoyable mystery in which a wealthy young widow is found dead in a small English town on property she’d just inherited from her recently deceased husband. Unlike some mysteries of which I am fond, there’s no preamble where readers get to know the victim or the circumstances of their life. Instead, immediately there’s a policeman discovering the body and then Lloyd turns up to question the victim’s next of kin. This same lack of character development hampers the romantic tension between Lloyd and Hill, leaving me with no idea what motivated Hill to finally decide to act on her feelings for him, betraying her marriage vows in the process.

The mystery itself is interesting enough, however, involving long-married Helen and Donald Mitchell who have ties to both the victim, Julia—her late husband was Donald’s older brother and Helen thinks they were having an affair—and chief suspect, Chris, originally a friend of Donald’s who has fallen in love with Helen. I can’t claim to have mustered anything more than a mild curiosity as to what the outcome would be, but neither did I guess the specifics, so that was good. I liked the interrogation scenes, too.

McGown’s writing had some fun moments. I loved the super-evocative imagery of Lloyd telling Hill that her new perm makes her look like Kevin Keegan. I also really appreciated a recurring bit where each chapter ends with the point of view of wildlife. When Chris is eventually brought in by the police, his arrest is depicted from a bird’s perspective, for example. There are also ducks, a moth, a fly, a cat… I don’t know if this device recurs in later books in the series, but I look forward to finding out.

Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight This is the second mystery/thriller I’ve read in which a single mom who is a lawyer with a cold and unfeeling mother of her own attempts to work out the mystery of what happened to a family member (the other being Girl in the Dark by Marion Pauw). Is that some kind of trend these days?

Kate Baron has a demanding job at a swanky firm, but she’s trying her best to be a good mom to her fifteen-year-old bookworm daughter, Amelia. She’s shocked to get a call from Grace Hall, the prestigious private school Amelia attends, saying that her daughter has been accused of cheating, and by the time she makes her way to the school, Amelia has evidently jumped to her death from the school roof. The police are only too happy to classify her death as a suicide, but when Kate gets a text that says “Amelia didn’t jump,” she starts trying to put together the pieces of what happened.

Reconstructing Amelia has quite a few problems. Despite her better judgment (and a promise to her best friend), Amelia joins a clique of bitchy girls at school who end up publicly humiliating her and trying to get her expelled when she falls in love with someone deemed off-limits. It’s hard to muster sympathy for what she ends up going through when one remembers the cruel prank she was willing to pull on someone else as part of the initiation process (largely kept off-camera to keep us from disliking her too much, I guess). We’re repeatedly told about the great relationship Amelia and her mom share, but never shown it. The subplot about Amelia’s dad is the literary equivalent of wilted lettuce. And the fact that the new detective who gets assigned to the case allows Kate to question suspects is absolutely ludicrous.

And yet, I couldn’t hate the book, largely because of Amelia’s friend, Sylvia. For much of the book she comes across as shallow and self-absorbed, but when Amelia really needs her, she’s there. She gives Amelia this tour of “great moments at Grace Hall” to cheer up her impressive pal, right before breaking down about her own legitimate pain. I never would’ve thought at the outset that I would have such immense sympathy for Sylvia, but I do. I find myself hoping that she’ll be okay.

Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane It sure is nice going into a book unspoiled, particularly one as twisty as Shutter Island. I was quite happy with the book as it began, with U.S. Marshals Teddy Daniels and Chuck Aule taking the ferry to Shutter Island to track down a patient missing from Ashcliffe Hospital for the Criminally Insane. It’s late summer 1954, and these guys are manly but accessible, and surprisingly funny. Consider this relatiely early exchange that cracked me up:

Pretentious Doctor: *makes remarks on the lives of violence the marshals must lead* Chuck: Wasn’t raised to run, Doc. Pretentious Doctor: Ah, yes. Raised. And who did raise you? Teddy: Bears.

For a while, all seems straightforward. Then Teddy confides to Chuck that he’s actually come there looking for a patient named Andrew Laediss, who was responsible for setting the fire that killed Teddy’s wife two years before. Gradually, one starts to doubt everything (and there was a point where all of the uncertainty got to be a little much for me) but the ultimate conclusion is a very satisfactory one.

Why Did You Lie? by Yrsa Sigurdardottir Set in Iceland, Why Did You Lie? starts out with three different storylines taking place a few days apart. The first involves a photographer on a helicopter journey to take pictures of a lighthouse on a rock in the middle of the ocean, the second is about a policewoman whose journalist husband has recently attempted suicide, and the third is about a family who returns from a house swap with an American couple to find some of their stuff missing and weird footage on the security camera. Of course, as the book progresses, these storylines converge, and it’s pretty neat when the police activity the helicopter flew over in chapter one turns out to be almost the culmination of the policewoman’s plot thread.

For some reason, I can’t help wondering how Ruth Rendell might’ve written this book. I think Rendell would’ve done a lot more with characterization, for one thing. There’s certainly some here, especially for the anxious husband who struggles to make his wife admit something really has gone wrong with their houseguests, but the primary concern seems to be getting on with the suspenseful action. Quickly, each plot features some kind of creepy lurker and then ominous notes (variations on the “why did you lie?” theme) figure in to all three, as well. Nina, the policewoman, digs around and talks to people and works out that everything connects to a supposed suicide from thirty years ago.

The result is certainly an entertaining book, but not one I could really love. One major issue I had is being able to predict something very significant. The number of characters who could’ve been angry enough about the 30-year-old lies in question to terrorize people in the present is very small. And once the existence of a certain person is oh-so-casually mentioned two-thirds through the book, I thought, “Oh, well, it’s them, then.” And then a little later, I figured out which of the characters it must be and I was right. This made for an anticlimactic ending that was clearly meant to be a shocking one. Also, I would’ve liked to have cared more that one character ends the novel poised to move on with life but, in reality, still in jeopardy.

I still would read more by this author, though.

By: Michelle Smith

[scones-and-texting-and-murder]

Finders Keepers

Written for the @deancas-smolthings 2019 challenge

2596 words, rated G (ao3 link)

Dean huffed a sigh as the motorcycle roared past him. “Very impressive,” he said with an eye roll to no one. Dean could appreciate the bike’s sleek form and the impressive power of acceleration, but still. Nothing could take the place of his Baby. The rider was clad all in black leather, his face obscured by the visor of a shiny helmet. “It’s not a race,” Dean muttered, even as he wondered if he could beat him on a long straightaway.

Today, though, he was on a rural two-lane road, which meant meandering through hills and turns. He’d done some shopping in the city and was taking the long way home for the pure joy of driving. The sun had worked its way partially out of the stranglehold of clouds, but it wasn’t enough to take away the chill of the fall afternoon. With each gusty breeze, colorful leaves lost their purchase and danced across his field of vision, drifting in orange and gold and crimson.

He gained some ground on the motorcycle as the road began a series of wide turns, watching as the rider leaned into each one. Dean couldn’t deny it looked fun, just you and the road, the wind slicing around the bike like a rock in a stream. Despite that, he could think of no circumstance in which he would willingly put on leather pants. Not that he didn’t appreciate the look, but it just wasn’t him.

“I’ll never leave you,” he promised, patting the dash affectionately even as he rolled down the window to give himself a taste of the breeze in his face. It did feel nice, but when the rain began he happily rolled up the window again. “Ha,” he said, as if the motorcycle rider could hear him. “Not so clever now, are you?”

Ahead of him, although the stretch of road was straight and flat, the motorcycle swerved. It was quick and violent, sudden enough that Dean worried he would lose his balance and tip over. He stepped on his own brake pedal in response, watching as the motorcycle slowed down. Confused, Dean searched the road ahead of him for some sort of debris. He could see something up ahead, small and light against the rain-soaked pavement. Nonetheless, he continued to slow, keeping one eye on the motorcycle which had turned around and was heading back.

That’s when he saw it. That light colored patch was moving. It was a kitten, wet and bedraggled and creeping toward the yellow center line. Pulling to the side of the road, Dean checked the rearview mirror. There was a truck approaching, growing bigger every moment. He put on his hazards and stepped out of the car, holding up an arm in hopes that the driver would see him in time to stop. The motorcycle moved past him, pulling across the lane at an angle, effectively putting up a barrier for the truck. With the bike’s engine, the truck’s brakes, and his own heartbeat all roaring in his ears, Dean scooped up the kitten. Confused by the sudden change, it squirmed and flailed, tiny claws digging into his hands, but Dean barely felt it, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he tucked it to his chest and carried it to safety.

“You got it?” The voice was deep and rough.

“Yeah,” Dean yelled back, cradling it close.

“See any more?”

More? Dean hadn’t expected to even see one, but it made sense that a single kitten wouldn’t be out here on its own. He stepped back onto the road to take another look before checking the shoulder and the edge of the woods.

“Nothing,” he called.

The motorcycle pulled off the road and parked behind Dean’s car. The truck continued on, blaring its horn as it passed. The kitten was small enough that Dean could keep it safely contained in one hand while freeing the other to flip off the truck driver.

The rain was streaming down now and Dean took a few steps off the side of the road to stand under a tree. The kitten had curled up in his hands and was blinking up at him with big solemn eyes.

He heard footsteps as the motorcycle rider approached him, pushing up the visor of his helmet. “Is it hurt?”

Dean gave the kitten a quick once over. It seemed alright from what he could tell. “I don’t think--” he looked up and was met with the bluest eyes he’d ever seen. “So,” he finished lamely.

“May I?” The man stood close to him so that he could see the kitten. While he was studying the tiny furball, Dean took a moment to study him. The black leather clung to him like a glove, showcasing broad shoulders and thick, powerful thighs.

“How did you even see it?”

“Just happened to be looking in the right place at the right time. If you hadn’t stopped…”

Dean held the kitten a little tighter. “Well, I’d been following you awhile.” He nodded toward the bike. “I knew you knew what you were doing on that thing, so when you swerved, I figured something was up.”

At that, the man pulled off his helmet completely. The only word Dean could come up with was breathtaking . He ran a gloved hand through his mashed down hair, leaving it standing on end and Dean transfixed.

“That’s a pretty sweet ride you’ve got as well. I admired it as I passed you.”

“Oh, you had to go there, huh?” Dean shook his head in mock disgust, but he was smiling.

“I’m Cas,” the man said, tucking the helmet under one arm and extending his hand.

Dean cupped the kitten to his chest and shook the offered hand. “Dean.”

Cas smiled at him, white teeth shining, before looking again at the kitten.

Dean uncurled his fingers. “Did you want to hold it?”

Immediately, Cas put down his helmet, peeling off his gloves and dropping them inside of it. Carefully, Dean transferred the kitten into his waiting hands. “Looks like it got you.”

Only then did Dean notice the scratches on his fingers from when the kitten had struggled. “It’s nothing,” he said, even though they did sting a little. “I’m sure I scared it half to death.”

Dean watched as he held the kitten, his eyes soft and fond as he stroked its head. “Hey there, little one.” He deftly but gently turned it in his hands. “Little girl, to be precise.” The kitten was still shivering, but whether from fear or cold, Dean didn’t know. She seemed comfortable in Cas’s hands, though, pressing her little face up so he could continue to pet her. Reluctantly, he tore his gaze from the kitten. “You saved her so if you wanted to keep her, I understand.”

Dean’s eyes went wide at the thought. He’d never had a pet in his life and his building didn’t allow them anyhow. “I can’t have pets where I live.”

“Oh,” Cas said, brightening. “I’m happy to take her, then.”

Dean hadn’t really thought about anything past getting the kitten safely off the road, but now he found himself relieved that she would be going home with Cas. “That’s great.”

They smiled at each other until the kitten made a soft mewling sound.

“Ok, sweetheart,” Cas said. Then he chewed his lip for a moment. “Can I ask you a favor?”

Dean didn’t realize he was still looking at Cas’s mouth until he had to look up to meet his eyes. “Sure.”

“Obviously I can’t take her with me on the bike. Would you be able to drive her to my place? It’s not that far from here.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, nodding his head more times than was necessary. “Yeah, sure I can do that.”

He took the kitten back, pretending not to notice the warm touch of Cas’s hands as he passed her over. When Cas had retrieved his gloves and helmet, they walked back through the rain to the Impala.

“I wish I had a box or something,” Dean mused as he opened the trunk and pulled out a blanket. “I guess this will have to do.” He passed the kitten back to Cas so that he could use both hands to fold the blanket into a smaller rectangle. Laying it on the front seat, he straightened up again, looking between the kitten and the blanket. “Honestly, I’ve never had a pet before. Think that’ll work?”

Cas stepped forward and set the kitten down in the middle of the blanket, scrunching up the edges a bit to form a nest. It gave Dean an excellent look at his excellent ass. “I think so. She seems pretty worn out and it’s not far.”

He closed the car door gently and they both peered through the window for a moment. When the kitten took a few tentative steps then lay down in the middle of the blanket, they beamed at each other like proud parents. In fact, they stood there so long that Dean had to wipe the rain out of his eyes.

Cas shook the rain from his own hair and then pulled on his helmet. “Okay, follow me.”

Anywhere, Dean thought but he made his mouth say, “Cool.”

He got into the Impala and rested his hand on the sleeping kitten. She was damp, but seemed to be drying out fast. In the rearview mirror he watched as Cas straddled the bike and got the engine started. Dean’s mouth went dry. “Hot damn,” he said to the kitten.

He was so distracted that it took him a moment to start the car so that he could pull out onto the road behind him. Cas drove a little more slowly this time. Maybe it was an abundance of caution, maybe he just thought he needed to so Dean could keep up, but either way, he felt a grin spread across his face. Truthfully, he didn’t mind going a little more slowly because instead of lulling the kitten to sleep the motion of the car seemed to concern her. She stood on wobbly legs and let out a tiny mew.

“It’s ok,” Dean assured her, reaching a hand over to pat her. Apparently that wasn’t good enough because she made her way off the blanket and onto the leather seat. “Hey, no claws,” he reminded her, and she meowed again, then tried and failed to climb up his leg. “Uhhhh,” Dean said, helplessly, trying to keep his eyes on the road while this tiny creature treated his thigh like it was Mount Everest. “Fine, but I didn’t do all this just so we could crash.”

He scooped her up and placed her in his lap. Even with the engine’s vibration, he could feel her purring.

Before long, Cas signaled a turn into a neighborhood that Dean had passed plenty of times before. He kept driving, finally pulling into the driveway of a small house on a quiet street. Dean wasn’t sure what he expected, but the beautifully tended flower gardens out front weren’t it. With a sinking feeling, he considered that, despite whatever chemistry he was feeling, it was entirely possible that Cas had a wife and a family.

“Maybe got a little ahead of myself there,” he told the kitten, but she didn’t respond.

While Cas parked the motorcycle in the garage, Dean sat in the car, telling himself he was only staying out of the rain. He could roll the window down enough to pass the kitten to Cas and then be on his way. He sighed, thinking of his empty apartment. Work days weren’t so bad, but the shopping, the long drive, they’d both been ways to kill some extra weekend time, quiet endless hours that seemed to stretch forever. But hey, this had been a diversion in and of itself, an adventure of sorts and a story he could tell Sam the next time he called. He’d be thrilled to hear Dean had been out and about.

Cas strode back over to the car, leather gleaming with rain, and Dean rolled down the window.

Cas leaned into it, smiling when he saw the kitten on Dean’s lap. “I don’t mean to take up any more of your time, but I could really use an extra pair of hands getting her settled.” His face was close to Dean’s and Dean had to stop himself from petting the stubbled jaw.

He should tell Cas he needed to go. Make a break for it before he had to go smile and meet the family. Instead he said, “Sure, happy to.”

The kitten got to her feet, looking at Cas and taking an uneven step across Dean’s lap in his direction. There was a flurry of hands as Dean picked her up while Cas reached for her, and Dean was far too aware of his crotch being the center of attention.

Cas carried the kitten to the garage, standing with her out of the rain while Dean got out of the car and joined them. He passed her back yet again so he could unlock the door to the house. “I want to get my other cat closed off in my bedroom before we bring her in.”

“Sounds good,” Dean agreed, trying not to focus on his use of my and not our.

“Wait here, please,” Cas said as they stepped into a small laundry room. Dean tried to be inconspicuous as he looked around to see if there were women’s or children’s clothing visible, but there was nothing to give him any clues as to who else might live here with Cas.

A few minutes later, Cas was back. He’d taken off the black leather and was now in a t-shirt and comfortably worn jeans. He smiled a little self-consciously. “My brother always makes fun of me for wearing them, but they’re good protection.”

“Your brother?”

“This is his house. I’ve been staying here while I look for my own place. He travels a lot, though, so he appreciates the housesitting.”

Dean had to stop himself from laughing in relief. “Does he know you’re filling his house with cats?”

“There’s no way he can resist this cute thing.” Cas reached out for the kitten, but this time after he tucked her against his chest with one hand, he held on to Dean’s wrist. “You should really wash these,” he said, running a thumb lightly over the scratches on Dean’s fingers. Dean didn’t pull away and Cas didn’t let go.

“Yeah,” Dean said, stopping to clear his throat. “I’ll do that.”

“Sink’s there,” Cas said. “Why don’t you take off your coat and give it a chance to dry?”

Confident that they were on the same page, Dean couldn’t resist his best smolder. ”So, I’m hanging out, then?”

Cas raised an eyebrow. “Unless you’ve got someplace else to be.”

In what felt like the blink of an eye, the entire afternoon was gone, the hours spent sitting together on the floor talking and watching the kitten investigate her new surroundings.

“How do you think she ended up out there?” Dean said, as the kitten stepped both front paws into her bowl of food.

“It’s hard to know. I’m just glad we found her when we did.” Cas sat close enough to him that their shoulders touched.

“Not exactly how I thought my Saturday was gonna play out,” Dean admitted.

Cas turned to him. “I’m glad I found you when I did, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

With that, Dean leaned in and kissed him.

[benisasoftboi]

Gushing time.

Rune Factory 4 Special arrived a day early, so my entire day has been consumed in nostalgia. The original Rune Factory 4 was the first video game I ever bought on release day - I remember saving up all my money and making my mum drive me to like three different shops trying to find one that had it. I was already a fan of the franchise - before then, Rune Factory 3 had been my favourite video game, across the board. Aside from a playthrough of the first game last year, I haven’t played a Rune Factory game in a long time, certainly not RF4. But just starting up the game and hearing the music again, it was like it was suddenly seven years ago. Running around Selphia and seeing all the characters again - I love JRPGs, have played a lot of them, and I can think of very few that have characters that have stuck with me this long. And the aesthetics - the best thing about the Rune Factory franchise has always been the aesthetics, the music, the scenic and character design, just the general world. It’s a beautifully whimsical balance of urban and fantasy, and it’s the only JRPG world I think I’ve ever come across that I would genuinely want to live in. Rune Factory may no longer be my favourite game franchise - but I don’t think there has ever been another series that has felt so much like home to me.

Here’s a very long selection of personal highlights from the art book (by which I mean photos of the art followed by my rambling opinions):

Yeah, see, here’s the thing - Rune Factory 1 is not a good game. I could write an entire essay on why it’s bad (I actually started and got pretty damn far before realising no one’s interested in my two thousand word review of a game that came out over a decade ago - the short version is ‘Misty Bloom-fucking-Cave’. Anyone who’s played RF1 knows exactly what I mean). Don’t get me wrong, it has good qualities - excellent boss fights, for one, and also, as with the rest of the franchise, it is aesthetically wonderful. But ultimately, it feels less like playing a video game, and more like playing a proof of concept for a game. Which I guess it kind of was - and I can’t hate it because we wouldn’t have the rest of the series without it.

But it literally ends with a dragon spewing plant breath on a tank to make a turnip grow out of the gun. ‘Profound’, my arse. 

It’s Raguna! The “master sowrdsman!” (that is not a typo on my part that is a direct quote from the ending of Rune Factory 1 this game’s script had so many issues-). And Mist! My favourite of the ‘canon’ love interests!

Best girl! When I was a kid, my favourite love interest in RF1 was Rosetta. As an adult, it is Tabatha. I don’t know what it is about her that I find so likeable (she’s as lacking in personality as any other RF1 character), but... idk, I just like her a lot.

Camus’s big ambition is to leave town like even once. He will never achieve it

Fun fact about Melody is that she’s extremely depressed, a fact that comes up once in an optional side quest and is never addressed again. It’s incredibly dark for an RF game

Fun fact about Lukas is that he sucks (he’s one of those ‘obsessed with talking about how hot all the girls are’ characters, an archetype that thankfully doesn’t show up again in these games). But also, interestingly enough, thanks to one of RF1′s many, many script errors, if you marry Rosetta (the girl Lukas is the most obsessed with), he’s supposed to express disappointment that he lost her to Raguna - but instead, he implies that he’s disappointed to have lost Raguna to her. The translators typoed their way into giving him a sexuality change. Which is honestly kind of amazing.

LOOK AT THIS SLIME THIS IS SUCH A COOL SLIME LITERALLY EVERY OTHER JPRG SLIME GO HOME DRAGON QUEST GET FUCKED (jk I like Dragon Quest a lot and its slimes are cool too). Wish you could see in-game that this is what they’re meant to be like.

I just generally love the monster designs, they’re really charming

Rune Factory 2! The RF game with the most weirdly mundane protagonist name (Kyle. In the main four games of this franchise we’ve got Raguna, Micah, Lest, Frey... and Kyle). The two generations thing was actually very cool, but when they say ‘each chapter captures a different lifestyle’, what they really mean is ‘the first half is a weak Harvest Moon I’m sorry, STORY OF SEASONS game, and the second half is a pretty good Rune Factory game’  

lookit this little fuck

Yue Yue Yue! I love Yue so much, she’s great. She’s kind of like a much chiller version of Anna from Fire Emblem.

It’s really cool that we got to see grown up Cecilia (she was in RF1). I have this silly headcanon that if Kyle doesn’t marry Mana, Nicholas (her friend in 1) comes to visit Cecilia one day in the hazy-post game future, and meets Mana, and they get together. While Yue is my favourite, I do genuinely like Mana a lot, and I just want her to find love, I guess.  

Here’s original Barrett! There’s a reason he was popular enough to make a reappearance (well, aside from the whole grumpy pretty boy thing he’s got going on) - he was a great character in this game. His and Dorothy’s relationship is also definitely the most compelling of the rival romances. Bonus Max, who also has a little shout-out in RF4 (check the diary in what will become Dylas’s bedroom at the start of the game)

Ray is male, but apparently he was originally going to be a female character, as he has an unused portrait in a wedding dress. My friend and I agree that this makes him a Trans Icon

Monster designs remain excellent. Especially the goblins

Skipping over Frontier (and also Oceans later), as I never got to play it growing up due to not having a console, and still haven’t got around to it - might try this summer. Except I do need to point out that these guys should be memes. I don’t know in what way. But they should.  

Rune Factory 3! My first RF game. The transformation thing was very cool, even if it was basically useless outside the main story. My friend and I spent hours mucking about in the WiFi dungeon. I loved the desert settlement and all of the dungeon designs in general, and man, RF3 is just great. I hope it gets a remake one day.

Raven Raven Raven! I LOVE Raven (as do most). Her story with Micah is the first time I can remember getting genuinely invested in a video game romance. I’m so glad she cameos in RF4. I love her. She’s wonderful.

I have an odd fondness for Marian. When I was about twelve, I decided to do a playthrough where I deliberately romanced the least popular bachelorette. After poking around on forums, I determined that character to be Marian, and did a run with her. And... I actually came to really like her. I find her endearing. I get that people find her annoying and don’t like her... unethical medical practices, but doing that run has still made me a pretty protective of her. It’s been a long time since I played RF3, so maybe I’d change my mind if I replayed now, but currently, as far as I’m concerned,  Marian’s a good’un.

I think I also used to low key ship her with Collette lol 

Pia’s official art has always been super weird to me because it’s so not what her character is like in-game. She’s a ditzy airhead. This makes her look so serious

RAINBOW! Another character whose art makes them look way more serious than they actually are. Daria is great and would be a meme if this game was more popular. I think she’s also implied to be a relative of Margaret. 

I’ve always been super confused about what Kuruna’s skirt is meant to be. Is it fur? Is it part of her shirt? Is it even a skirt at all?

Check it out, it’s the guy everyone would ship Micah with if this game was more popular

I want Zaid to make a reappearance and interact with Doug. Pretty sure it’s canon that they’re from the same clan? Think it would be very interesting.

RF3 definitely had the coolest farm. Also, still love the desert settlement.

This is from Oceans, so I have no context, but it’s just so cool that I had to share

Rune Factory 4. Culmination of the series is right - when I was playing it for the first time, I remember being blown away by just how much it is a true love letter to the franchise. I have never come across another game series that so consistently grew and improved from entry to entry. RF4 was a perfect ending.

Not that I’m complaining about getting RF5. Quite the opposite.

But if it had been the end (as we all thought it was until about a year ago), well, like I say. Perfect. 

Well. Aside from soda can nipples. Can’t believe they didn’t fix those. Though in some ways, that would have made me sad too

Dolce has such a cool design, in both human and monster form. I’ve always kind of crack-shipped her with Margaret, for no real reason at all

Vishnal! I love Vishnal. Vishnal is pure as heck. Marrying him this time around.

Doug! My choice from last time around. Another character who looks more serious in his official art than he is in-game (well... most of the time)

And then there’s Dylas, who looks much happier here than he does most of the time. Kind of looks like he and Doug swapped bodies, actually. There’s a fanfic prompt for you.

Their ship name is Dyldo. I love them

Leon is nostalgic for me mostly because my friend and I used to get into a lot of arguments about whether or not he’s the hottest character in the game. She maintains that he is, because muscles. I maintain that muscles aren’t actually that attractive. It is a rift that divides us to this day

(He looks oddly... younger in this art though? Weird)

Sechs Empire is such an unfortunate name. Seriously. How rushed was RF1′s localisation team? All those script errors, and then this (the Sechs were the antagonists in the first game, and were only referenced in passing in the rest until RF4 - so it was a bit of a ‘sins of the father’ situation by then).

Seriously, try saying ‘Sechs Emperor’ out loud and tell me you can take this man seriously 

I??? Love??? Them???

I??? LOVE??? THEM???

Still confused as to why Kiel, Xiao Pai, Arthur and Margaret are on the cover now. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but... Amber, Dylas, Dolce and Leon made way more sense? Even the Archival Cover makes more sense (Vishnal, Clorica, Forte), as those three are all kind of Lest/Frey’s servants (well, Forte for the whole town, but still). Of those first four, all but Arthur basically lift right out of the game with little-to-no impact on the story

NO HAT TABATHA NO HAT TABATHA

I’ve always really loved this Raven picture

And I am thankful for you <3