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mrworldwideshoulders · 2 years

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The Way You Look Tonight || reader x KNJ

Pairing: reader x KNJ Word count: 2.5k Rating: M / R Genre: married life au, maybe a little bit of angst, fluff, slice of life Summary: You’re feeling self-conscious about the way you look after years of being married and having kids, so your husband takes it upon himself to reassure you that you’re still the most beautiful woman in his life. Inspired by Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars (among many similar others). Warnings: don’t get squarshed by the large quantities of fluff; also strong language, discussion of the postpartum body. T/N: aegiya = a Korean term of endearment meaning baby. A/N: I am truly so soft for husband Joon fluff T_T I could write these married life aus alllll day for real. once again beta’d and bannered by my best pal @onmypillow-onmytable :D hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! ly - robyn P.S. As always I do not own BTS or their likenesses, nor do I own the music of Bruno Mars, lol, they simply inspire me.

inspo playlist here

You stare at yourself in the mirror, sucking your bottom lip in and out. You can’t quite put your finger on why, but this dress doesn’t look right, not even with your doughy stomach crammed into the shaper underneath. Neither did the last one. Or the one before that. Or the first one you tried on, about six dresses ago. Who knew every single cocktail dress you owned looked awful on you? Or that every little black dress in your closet was suddenly so…little? You’re practically falling out of all of them. It’s almost indecent how much cleavage is showing with this one, especially since it’s strapless. You’d forgotten how small they’d used to be before you had kids. This one is tight everywhere else too - really tight - but not so tight that it’s unbearable. It’s not so bad…but it’s just not right. You feel overexposed, like it barely covers anything.

The corners of your eyes prickle and you let out a sigh of frustration. Right. It's probably because you haven’t gone shopping for dresses since before you got pregnant - for the first time. You curse yourself silently for not making time to go shopping before today, but Namjoon had only sprung this cocktail party on you a week in advance, and you had meant to, but there had been one thing or another that had kept you from going, what with being the stay-at-home mom of a four and two year old. Junseok had started on his “getting into everything” phase, while Miyoung, of course, was in the midst of her terrible twos, which you’d barely survived with Junseok the first time around, and per her usual, Miyoung just had to one-up her brother by being even worse. You’d barely had a free moment to yourself since before you’d had kids, and that was probably the reason you hadn’t realized just how much you’d let yourself go in the last year or two. You almost don’t even recognize yourself. The woman in the mirror looks old, worn out, tired - nothing like you. You conclude that she’s not actually you, but a clone, and the younger, prettier version of yourself is out there somewhere, walking around and living her best life. If only that were true.

You glance at the clock. 6:30. You’re supposed to be there by 7, and you haven’t even started your makeup yet, or done anything to your hair. Not that it would matter. Your hair doesn't hold a curl, never has, not even on your wedding day. And not even the thickest concealer could cover up the bags under your eyes, or make you look any less tired than you do now, without really caking it on. The eyeliner will probably get caught in the creases and smudge all over the place, and make you look like you’re still in your emo phase, the lipstick will probably either get on your teeth or wear off, and what the hell, what’s the point anymore? You might as well just not go anywhere when you look this bad. No use in embarrassing the both of you, especially not in front of your husband’s colleagues, and the tenure committee, and whoever else has to lay eyes on you at this thing.

There’s a knock on the door, and you jump at the sudden noise. “Y/n?” It’s Namjoon. “The sitter’s here. Are you going to be ready soon? We should really get going.”

You hesitate, staring at the unattractive stranger in the mirror, and reply, “Um…I think maybe you should just go without me.”

“What?” he says through the door. “Why would I go without you?”

“No reason,” you say. “I, um, just don't feel good all of a sudden."

"Huh?" He sounds confused. "You were fine just a little while ago. Are you sick? What can I do? Do you need anything?"

A time machine, you think, biting the inside of your cheek, so I can go back to when I was pretty. And worthy of being seen in public. "No," you say. "I'm fine. Just go without me, okay?”

"Well, if you're not going then I'm not going either," he says. "It's just a dumb cocktail party. There will be plenty of others. And I shouldn't be going anywhere if you're sick, either. What about the kids? Who’ll take care of you?"

Damn your husband for being so thoughtful. That man has been worrying about you since you started dating, more than you ever even worried about yourself. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Joonie. What do you think I did before I met you? The sitter can watch the kids. This is a big deal; I know how much you want this. You should go. Schmooze. Impress the tenure committee with all those impressive accomplishments of yours."

"I don’t want to schmooze, not without you. I'm terrible at this kind of thing. I need you there to keep me from putting my foot in my mouth. I mean, we used to go to parties all the time. What’s different about this one?" Namjoon pauses. You picture him outside the door, big brain at work, trying to figure out what's going on. "Aegiya…is something wrong?"

"Try everything," you say under your breath. "Nothing's wrong," you add aloud. "I don't feel well. End of story."

"You're acting weird," he says. "I'm coming in." He lets himself into the room before you can grab your bathrobe to cover up, and stops cold when he sees you, standing there, in that stupid strapless dress, jaw falling open. “Y/n…wow. You look…hot. Have I ever told you how much I love you in all black? All white is one thing, but…damn. It really suits you.”

Maybe it's the fact that you've been trying on dresses for the past hour or so with no luck, or the fact that you haven't eaten enough today, or that the exertion of wrangling yourself in and out of all of these dresses has left you overheated and sweaty, but a feeling of anger bubbles up in your chest. “You gotta be kidding me,” you snap and stomp into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. “'Hot?' Are you serious? That’s not fucking funny, Namjoon.” You lean against the counter, arms crossed, on the verge of tears. He has to be joking, you think. That’s ridiculous. No way in hell.

“Wait, what did I do?” he says. “You’re upset…because I said you looked nice?"

“Of course I’m upset, are you blind?” you practically shout.

“No?” He chuckles uneasily. “I’m not blind. I wouldn’t have said it if it weren’t true.” A knock comes on the bathroom door. “Come on, y/n.”

“No!” you snap. “Leave me alone. Just go without me. You’re going to be late.” You let yourself slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest and burying your face in your arms.

He knocks again. “I’m not leaving until you open the door and talk to me, y/n. Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t help.” Tears start to form in the corners of your eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.” Of course he wouldn’t. He still looks the same as he did on the day you met him. It’s like he hasn’t aged at all. It’s not fair.

“Then explain it to me,” he says patiently. “I’m a quick study. Will you please come out? Or let me in? I don’t like talking to you through the door.”

You don’t say anything. How do you explain this? “Okay,” you say, almost inaudibly. “I guess you can come in.” You look up as he opens the door, the visible concern on his face enough to turn the prickles in the corners of your eyes into full-fledged tears. Your face crumples, and before you know it, you’re sobbing.

“Hey. Come here.” Namjoon sits down on the floor next to you and pulls you close, folding you into his warm embrace and letting your tears soak into the front of his charcoal-colored blazer. He presses a kiss to your forehead and touches your chin, coaxing you into looking at him. “Tell me, aegiya. What’s wrong?”

“Everything. Nothing,” you say, hiccuping. “It’s stupid. Really.”

“It can’t be nothing if it’s making you this upset,” he says.

Of course he’s right. You draw in a shaking breath. “Nothing looks right on me!” you wail. “I went through my whole closet before I got to this dress, and I still hate the way it looks. I hate the way everything looks, myself included. My boobs used to be a normal size, and everyone said they’d go back to normal once I stopped breastfeeding, but they haven’t, and they’re still huge, and they don’t fit anywhere, not to mention the stretch marks. Do you remember when I bought this dress?”

“Not really,” he says.

“Before I had Junseok, Joon. When I was still small, and pretty, and everything was the right size, and my stomach didn’t look like it had a watermelon crammed inside of it for nine months. There’s more stretch marks than skin, my arms are flabby, my face looks old and tired, my ass is huge, and nothing fits.” The words spill out, and you’re rambling, not sure if you’re making any sense. “I don’t recognize the person in the mirror anymore, and I hate it. I have this image of myself, and what I used to be and what I am now, and none of it lines up. I used to be pretty and now I’m just a fat, ugly mom, while you still look the same as you always have, and I don’t know how you’re even still attracted to me, if you are, because I’m definitely not much to look at anymore.” Tears run down your face, and you burrow further into his chest.

He rubs a hand up and down your arm. “That’s what’s upsetting you so much?”

You nod, sniffling.

“Well, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, aegiya. You’re right, I can’t even begin to understand. But let me be the first to tell you that I’m not going anywhere.” He kisses you on the forehead. “It would make me a pretty terrible person and that much less of a man if I left you because I didn't like the way your body changed while you were having my children. Your body is amazing, y/n. That body grew and nurtured two little humans. It took care of them until they were ready to come into the world, and kept them fed and nourished once they did. I can’t do any of that. That body gave me two wonderful gifts I could only ever dream of reciprocating, and it hurts me to see you feeling like this.” He plants another kiss on your cheek. “I’ve never stopped being attracted to you, aegiya. Not once since the day I first laid eyes on you. I know you don’t think so so but you're still the same stunner I fell in love with back then. You're still the beautiful girl I married. You’re not a, what was it, ‘a fat, ugly mom?’ If anything, becoming a mother has only made you even prettier.”

"Bullshit," you mutter, scowling. “Motherhood has made me look like death warmed over, 24/7. I don’t know how you could love that.”

"Y/n, it's not bullshit." He touches his hand to your cheek. "I love every single thing about you. That goofy laugh you hate, the way your whole face crinkles when you smile, the way you sing to the kids when they’re sick, or they can’t sleep, even though you’re way off-key, and yes, each and every individual stretch mark on that beautiful body of yours. I love all of it. So if looks are what you’re worried about, then don’t, because you’re perfect, the way you look right now, and the way you looked yesterday, and the way you looked five years ago.” He wipes at the tears still on your cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “Does that make you feel any better?”

“Well…no.” Your lower lip trembles. “You don’t really mean that, do you? You’re just saying that to make me feel better. There has to be at least one thing you’d change about me if you could, isn’t there? I know there’s a few things I’d like to change about you, if I had the chance. Your snoring, for one. I definitely don't love that."

“Maybe I would,” he says. “Maybe I wouldn’t. It wouldn’t change the way I feel about you. You’re the person I chose to share my life with. Which means I accept you for you, all of your perceived flaws and supposed blemishes. So no, I wouldn’t change a thing. Those are all the things that make you you. And you are special. To me, and to Miyoung, and Junseok, your friends, your family, and everyone else who has the privilege of having you in their life. You’re a beautiful woman and an amazing mother, and I’m proud to call you my wife.” He strokes your hair. “How about now? Better?”

“I guess so,” you say slowly, your head still resting against his chest. You listen to his heartbeat thumping. “What did I ever do to deserve a husband as kind and as patient as you? You know? How did I get so lucky?”

“You chose me, remember? And I chose you right back.” He smiles gently, wiping away the last few remaining tears. “We’re both pretty lucky, don't you think?”

"The luckiest." You allow a tiny smile to creep onto your face. "I'm sorry for being so insecure."

"You don't ever have to apologize for having feelings,” he says, giving you a squeeze.

"Thank you.” You meet his gaze. “For listening. For being patient with me."

"I'll always be here to listen," he says. "No matter what. And life is a learning curve for all of us. Myself included."

"And thank you for not leaving me," you add.

"I'll never leave you, y/n. Not now, not ever. I promised you for better or for worse, and I plan on keeping that promise," he says.

You reach up and tousle his hair, managing a teary smile. “Me too. I promise.”

Namjoon tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Well, what do you say? Are you still not feeling up to coming out with me? I think we could still make it on time if we hurry, but we don’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want to." He looks at you, smiling tentatively.

"No, I think I'm okay now. God, I'm probably a mess. All puffy and red." As you're rubbing your eyes, you notice the big wet spot on the front of Namjoon's jacket and part of the white shirt he’s wearing underneath. "Oh, damn. I ruined your jacket, didn't I? You’ll have to change."

"Don't even worry about it, aegiya." He pulls you in for a kiss, plush lips intertwining with yours. "I have plenty of other jackets. But I only have one wife, and she comes first. Always."

––––

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts angst #bts fluff #reader x namjoon #reader x rm #reader x kim namjoon #namjoon fluff #namjoon angst #bts au #bts series #bts x you #bts slice of life #bts married life #doo-wops & hooligans #mrworldwideshoulders #robyn writes

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dis-easedfairy · 5 years

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Oink The Stuffed Pig

WARNINGS: Swearing | Mentions of Sex (a dirty joke or two) |

Pairings: Kim Seokjin x Single Dad!Male Reader

Genre: Parent!au, neighbor!au, some angst (just a lil), fluff, humor

Word Count: 11,838

Summary: Due to complications, M/n moves to a new city with his son. Though struggling, the two grow to like their new lives and new neighborhood, especially Kim Seokjin, their neighbor across the hall who is more than kind.

A/n: IM ALIVEEEE! I suck at endings so like... my bad. I tried to get this out because I know a few of you were excited for this. Turned out a little more angst than I plan but uh... surprise? Again sorry it took me so long to finish it! 💙☀

I sighed and looked out the window as the train I was in, drove down the tracks. I looked at my watch it was around 7 pm and I knew it was going to be a long night. I looked over to my son, he was happily playing a game on an old phone of mine. I let out a sigh as my eyes trailed down to look at our backpacks on the floor.

I’m sorry we have to go this far.

I leaned forward, opening the side pouch of my backpack to take out my phone. I had muted it days ago and didn’t bother to look at it.

I unlocked it and looked through my messages.

Mom: Okay, just be safe, okay? The both of you.

Dad: remember to secure the new home. it will give everyone a piece of mind

Unknown Number: you cant just take him! I said I wanted to work this out!

I rolled my eyes at the last one, deciding just to message my parents since we were more within the city.

M/n to Mom: I found a nice little neighborhood, close to his school and there are some good jobs I can get for the time being, just until I save up a bit. We’ll be safe. Don’t worry too much.

M/n to Dad: I had a security system kit sent with some of our stuff. I’m going to go to the store tomorrow to look for tougher screws for the doors. We have a balcony so I have to figure something out! Safety is my second priority!

“Who are you talking to?” I heard my son’s small voice ask.

I looked over to him, his eyes were big, full of curiosity as he lifted himself up in order to look at the screen. I only smiled.

“Your grandparents.” He gave me a small pout.

“Why the pout?” I asked with a sad chuckle, “…Expecting someone else?” I asked dejectedly.

I swore I saw his eyes twinkle, “Aunt Hyejin!” My heart dropped to my stomach.

I tore my eyes away from his, prepping myself to lie, “Ha… Aunt Hyejin… she…” Oh god, what would be a good lie to tell him?

I glanced back at his perfect brown orbs, stabbing into me for an answer.

“A… Aunt Hyejin is not herself right now. So… I can’t talk to her right now, okay?” I wasn’t lying, but it sure in the hell felt like I was.

I could see the sadness enter his eyes, as well as those same eyes water. My eyes widened as I quickly held my hands up as if he were now holding a weapon to me.

“But why?” He asked, his voice sounding very upset.

“Junseok-ah, it’s complicated. BUT you’re going to make new friends and have your own room!” I tried to sway my son.

“I don’t want new friends I want Aunt Hyejin!” He was now crying, I grimaced.

I looked around the empty train car almost frantically, as to search for something to get my son to stop crying. I let out a heavy sigh.

“Listen, Junseok-ah, stop crying. Some people aren’t going to be in your life for the rest of your life. Some people have their own lives to live, some care dearly about you, and some will care only for themselves. It has nothing to do with your personality or who you are as a person. Aunt Hyejin… I have a feeling she only cares for herself right now. And right now, I have to care about you, and you have to care about yourself right now too.” That probably made no sense to him.

Oddly enough my son only nodded his head, using his sleeve to wipe his tears, I offered him a small smile.

“Don’t worry, I got us a place to stay and you have your own room!” Which I have no Idea how I’m going to pay for it.

“We live near a school you’ll be going too!” Some of your new teachers think I’m irresponsible for moving so late in the year and hate me already.

“I’m getting a new job, so new cool things!” You might not get anything good for your birthday if it's a low-paying job.

“Our new home is in a nice neighborhood with lots of kids so you’ll make friends.” You’re more extroverted than me and the families will more than likely hate me.

“It’s a little far from grandpa and grandma, but this is a better life!” I’m scared.

“…Okay. Can we get something to eat before we go to our new house?” He asked softly.

I nodded, not wiping the smile off my face, “We’ll get whatever you want. Just don’t be sad or scared. Just know that I love you with all my heart. Forever.”

Junseok sniffled a bit and moved closer to wrap his arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him onto my lap to keep him closer. I could feel him relax in my hold as I moved my hand to rub his back.

“We have reached Hoehyeon Station.”

“So how have you settled in?” My friend Jeongguk asked, he was the one who convinced me to move to Seoul.

I could hear my son let out a scream as he ran around with a plushie pig toy and a Spider-Man toy, a throw blanket tied around his neck as a makeshift cape. I soon then heard a bump and something clatter to the floor. I was unpacking a box on the kitchen counter, taking out glasses and plates.

I let out a heavy sigh, “As settled as we can be I gue-,”

“NO! NO! NO! NO!” I could hear my son shout, making me snap into action as I threw everything I was holding down and ran to his voice.

He was in my bedroom, the window open and him half hanging out.

“Junseok! What are you doing!?” I demanded, running over to yank him away from the open window.

“I dropped Oink! I have to get him!” My son protested as I threw him over my shoulder to stop him from squirming out my grip.

“You won’t get anything besides a trip to the hospital hanging out the window like that!” I scolded, sitting him on my bed.

I pulled back to see his tear-filled eyes. I let out a deep sigh, “If I tell a friend of mine to look after you, will you behave while I look for Oink?” I can’t believe I was going to search in an ally for a stuffed pig.

Junseok quickly nodded his head, almost desperate to get his oldest friend back.

“Fineeee.” I groaned, walking back to the kitchen to get my phone.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumbled, moving a trash bag out the way as I tried to look for a bright pink stuffed pig.

I let out a growl of frustration, “Where are you, you little bitch?” I grumbled, trying to think of new places to look.

I looked at my watch and sighed, I was in a hoodie and jeans but it was only getting colder as the sun was no longer in the sky. It was close to 11 pm and I didn’t want to spend all night looking for a stuffed animal. My son cherished that stuffed pig since it was his first stuffed animal but was it really worth it?

Yes, it was. My son loved it so I will find it.

I groaned at myself, kicking a trash bag and going back to looking for the lost pig.

I was ready to give up thirty minutes later until I saw pink fuzz that looked familiar. I quickly moved whatever was in the way and yanked the pig up into my view.

“Fuck yesss!” I chuckled in satisfaction as I began to dust off and examine the pig.

I frowned when I noticed how flat and lumpy it was, it was less to it being dropped out a window, and more about the years of washing, drying and laying on it.

“Mmm, you need a good stuffing, huh?” I asked the pig, examining it more for rips or stains.

“…Uhhh…” I heard a voice draw out behind me.

I immediately spun around to face the person. A man, he was a little taller than me, wearing a white sweater, dark sweatpants, and white shoes. He had broad shoulders and had the most handsome face I’ve ever been blessed with ever seeing. His eyes were wide as he held onto a trash bag, his eyes dropped to see the flattened stuffed pig and he let out a breath of relief with a chuckle.

“I…” He let out a very unique laugh that tumbled from his rose-colored plush lips, bending over, “I thought… Oh my god…” He tried to speak but only laughter came out.

He looked fairly young but I had no idea how I was supposed to address him, “S-Sir? Is something funny?” I asked, praying he wasn’t some guy who lost his mind and planned to murder me in an ally after I spent an hour and a half looking for a stupid stuffed pig.

He held up one finger as he continued to laugh. I assumed it was to give him a minute so I did.

“You have to understand,” He began, trying to catch his breath, “I just heard your words and saw your back and nothing more!” I saw red begin to bloom in his cheeks.

I tilted my head slightly in confusion. He took my confusion as the go-ahead to explain which he only did in few words, with a smirk.

“Fuck yes? You need a good stuffing?”

It slowly clicked together as heat began to rush to my face and embarrassment washed through me.

“I-I was just talking about a stuffed animal!” I raced to explain, which only made him cackle more.

“Wait! No! I’m not fucking the stuffed animal! That sounded wrong!” The man was now leaning against the building, trying not to fall to the ground from laughing so hard.

“M-My son dropped this out the window, he can’t sleep without it.” I explained nervously.

The man straightened up, trying to gain his composure, “You’re a dad?” He asked breathlessly.

I know I’m ‘too young’.

“Yeah. He’s four… This is an awkward way to meet… We just moved in today.” I gave the man a small smile.

He looked surprised, “Really? Nice to meet you! I’m Kim Seokjin!” He introduced himself happily, moving to shake my hand.

“L/n M/n.” I informed, shaking his hand.

“Welcome to the neighborhood, hopefully, there are no more… misunderstandings.” He joked.

I felt a wave of heat travel to my face again, “I hope not.” I agreed with a nervous giggle.

Seokjin opened his mouth as if he was going to say more but as interrupted by my screeching friend.

“M/N! WHAT IS OUR SON’S FIXATION WITH THE TOILET!? HE TRIED TO FLUSH MY PHONE!” Jeongguk shouted out the window.

Well, that was a nice moment…

I let out a deep sigh, “Sorry, I have to head back up. I’ll talk to you soon, Seokjin?” I questioned.

He nodded, seeming at a lost for words. I frowned a bit. He was so open a few moments ago. I walked past him, giving him a small wave as I began to jog back into the building.

I ran to one of the two elevators and pushed my floor number. Using the time to think of what jobs I could apply to and how to make sure ‘Aunt Hyejin’ didn’t come to visit my son while he was in school.

The ding of the elevator broke me from my thoughts and I went to my apartment door. Before I could dig in my back pocket for my keys, my door flung open to reveal my friend Jeongguk.

“He keeps flushing things in the toilet. You lost a roll of toilet paper. ” My friend informed me, crossing his arms, looking upon me in judgment.

“He’s acting out because he wasn’t very excited about coming here…” I notified, rubbing the back of my neck with the hand that wasn’t gripping the stuffed animal.

Jeongguk sighed. I could hear another ‘ding’ but took it as the elevator I got off of closing it’s doors and going back down.

“I know he’ll like it here, you will too. Did…” Jeongguk looked down, biting his bottom lip as he chose his next words carefully.

“Did Hyejin know where you were going? I don’t think it’s a good idea if she knew where we live.” Jeongguk voiced apprehensively.

“Don’t worry about her. I just told her I was leaving town. She tried to tell Junseok that he could stay at her place if he didn’t want to go.” I stated bitterly.

“Are you fucking with me? She literally doesn’t quit does she!?” Jeongguk scoffed, anger beginning to radiate off of him.

I shook my head, “I was just wondering how we would get him to school without her finding him.”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened, “Do you think she’d go school hunting!?”

“I wouldn’t put it past her.” I grunted bitterly.

Jeongguk let out a frustrated sigh, leaning on the doorframe and pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. After a few moments, Jeongguk looked up, sadness and sympathy in his eyes. He reached out, grabbing the collar of my hoodie and pulled me into a hug. He wrapped one arm around my waist and his other hand was in the middle of my back. He let out a long exhale as he began to rub my back. I wrapped my arms around him, fully accepting the comfort in my friend’s embrace, even going as far as to bury my face in his shoulder.

“We’ll figure this out together, M/n. I’ll introduce you to some friends of mine, we’ll settle you in, get you a job and support you for as long as you need, okay?” Jeongguk promised.

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, knowing I wouldn’t do this alone. I was prepared to do it alone, but I knew Jeongguk wouldn’t let me. He was my best friend. I really counted on him and he counted on me.

The comforting resolve was disrupted by the sound of a flushing toilet.

Jeongguk let out an irritated growl. Jeongguk yanked away to turn to look into the apartment.

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE TOILET!?” Jeon demanded, grabbing my arm and dragging me into the apartment with him.

I made a wild grab to close the door behind us, trying to fight Jeongguk’s tight grip. I pushed the door closed and Jeongguk let me go, deeming me as the reason he couldn’t move fast enough to scold my son. I only chuckled, moving to the kitchen to throw the stuffed animal in the washing machine.

“YAH! NO SON OF MINE WILL FLUSH IRON MAN DOWN THE TOILET!” I rolled my eyes at Jeongguk’s words.

I could hear my son whine a response as I set the washer to quick wash. I heard footsteps and turned to see Jeongguk holding an armful of toys.

“Uncle Gukkie!” My son whined, trailing after him.

“No! You can’t have these back until you learn how to treat them right.” Jeongguk huffed, dropping the toys in an empty box and swiftly picking it up so Junseok couldn’t snag a toy back.

“Why all his toys?” I chortled.

They both looked over at me, my son with pleading eyes and my friend with the eyes of determination.

“Because our son needs to know what ‘stop’ and ‘don’t do that’ means.” He asserted.

“Stop calling him ‘our son’, people will get the wrong idea.” I giggled, moving to get the detergent.

“No! I’m helping you raise this brat, so he’s my son too!” I shrugged my shoulders. Fair enough.

“Any ideas for dinner?” I asked, starting the washer.

“Daddd!” Junseok whined in complaint of me not defending his toys.

I just knew Jeongguk made up his mind and I mostly agreed with him.

“We’ll order take out for now. Tomorrow we’ll have a better plan, we might be a little too busy for a sit-down meal though.” Jeongguk smiled, happy I wasn’t fighting him.

I nodded in understanding, “We’ll have to get some kind of ‘we are new to the neighborhood, don’t mind the screaming’ gift.”

“I think we’ll be fi-” Junseok cut Jeongguk off by jumping up and grabbing the edge of the box.

Junseok yanked down, causing the box to rip and toys spill out.

“JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? I said you don’t get these back until you learn how to treat them!!” Jeongguk began and ‘our son’ began to argue back.

“I’m thinking baked goods.” I sighed.

“Jeongguk, you…” I growled, holding one end of the entertainment center as Jeongguk held the other.

“You what!? Finish your sentence!” Jeongguk challenged, stopping in the middle of the entrance.

“You soggy piece of toast! Stop pushing me! You’re making me lose balance!” I snapped.

“You’re so fucking slow!” He clapped back.

“You’re so fucking impatient!” Thus the best friend bicker began.

Soon it wasn’t even about the stupid entertainment center, it wasn’t anything too harmful, just us venting out the stress of the day, per usual. We even set down the entertainment center to argue better.

“NO ONE EVEN LIKES THAT RAMEN SO WHY WAS THAT ONE ON SALE?”

“MAYBE BECAUSE NO ONE GOT IT SO IT WAS GOING TO EXPIRE!”

“THAT MUST HAVE BEEN IT!” After a few minutes of this, we finally drew some breath.

“Okay, now we can get back to work.” Jeongguk exhaled.

I have a quick glance around, “Uh… where is Junseok?” I asked blankly.

Jeongguk quickly spun around to face the living room, “He WAS on the couch!??”

Jeongguk and I slowly met eyes as the realization dawned on us. My best friend and I jumped into action.

“CALL THE POLICE!” Jeongguk shouted as he ran at the door.

As soon as the door opened I could see the door across the hall slightly ajar. This led me to think that my son got curious as to what the door was because he’s never lived in an apartment before.

I tried to grab onto my best friend’s shirt to stop him but he was already out the door and down the hall to the stairs before I could say anything. I heard him shove the door open to the stairway and take off. I sighed, wishing he would’ve saved me the effort of having to call him.

I hesitantly closed my apartment door and made my way to the door across the hall. I lightly pushed open the door, caution pulsing through my veins. I could hear bad playing of a guitar flood the nice-lit, comfy apartment.

“Don’t go too hard on the strings or they will break.” I heard a familiar male voice softly instruct.

The air smelled like muffins and I could hear the sound of a tv. I entered the apartment as quiet as I could, taking off my shoes and taking a deep breath. I raised my hand up and tapped my knuckles on the wall beside me.

“Come in!” A cheerful voice chimed, making the place seem even more inviting.

I stepped forward out the entryway to round the corner. My son was sitting on the floor, holding a guitar WAY too big for his body. His tongue was sticking out, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to focus on the cords he was strumming.

The man I met in the ally, Seokjin, was sitting on the chair with the stuffed pig on his lap. The pig was plushier than before. I assumed Seokjin restuffed the animal since he had a sewing needle in hand, mid-tug of the thread. Seokjin’s eyes seemed to widen at my arrival.

“I’m sorry if he interrupted your afternoon. He was on the couch one moment then he was gone the next.” I apologized, bowing my head in remorse.

“That’s okay! He hasn’t caused me any trouble.” Seokjin assured me.

I lifted my head up, “Really!? He’s been bratty since we arrived.” I was dismayed. My son listened to a complete stranger more than me!?

Seokjin’s plush lips pulled into a smile, “Yes. Your son has been well behaved!” Seokjin grabbed the scissors and snipped off the extra thread from the pig. Seokjin stood up, a new aura around him that was ignored by my son as Seokjin seemed to strut up to me.

“If you feel that bad about interrupting my afternoon, you can treat me to a better one this week?” Seokjin implied, his eyes whirling with confidence.

I almost choked on air. Did my attractive neighbor just ask me out?

“I… Well…” I was at a loss for words.

Seokjin’s small smile turned into a bigger one, almost cocky, “How about tomorrow? Here. At six.” He tempted, one of his hands moving up to fix my shirt. I’m pretty sure he could feel my heart going faster than it’s ever gone before.

Seokjin’s eyes playfully cast up, awaiting my response.

“So what did you tell him?” Jeongguk asked, getting himself a glass of lemonade and leaning against the kitchen island I was currently sitting at. Head in my hands as my body burned with humiliation. Junseok was on the couch, too emersed in his game to understand how badly I ruined myself.

“I shouted ‘I’m gay’ and ran out.” I grumbled.

Lemonade shot out from Jeongguk’s nose, spraying out onto the countertop. My eyes widened and I jumped up to get him some paper towels, grabbing a few myself to catch the liquid that threatened to ruin the floor. Jeongguk grabbed the paper towels and held them up to his face as he began to cough and sputter. I swore I heard slight chuckling in the distress.

“I-I don’t… I don’t think that line works in THIS scenario…” Jeongguk coughed as he moved his cup to the sink, having no desire to have lemonade again any time soon.

“I panicked!” I tried to defend myself.

“Do you want to go on a date with him?” He inquired.

I threw my hands up, “I don’t know! I hardly even know the guy!”

My best friend rolled his eyes, “Well, you won’t know him anytime soon with you shouting ‘I’m gay’ while running out his apartment like he was asking you if you knew his lord and savior Jesus Christ.” Jeongguk smirked.

“I didn’t say ‘I’m gay’ while running out! I said it then ran out. Get your shit straight, Jeon.” I dropped back down to my seat with a pout. I leaned forward, dropping my head so my face was against the cold countertop, groaning in defeat and embarrassment.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Jeon tried to refrain from smiling, but was failing horribly, “I shouldn’t tease you about this. Maybe go over, see if the offer stands and if he was serious. He came on a little strong. You never know, he might be as freaked out as you.”

My head lifted up and my eyes filled with hope. “Will it be that easy? You think so?” I asked in ease.

“No. He definitely thinks you’re weird and probably has another date set up in your spot. When you get there tomorrow, you’ll be interrupting his date.”

There were a few moments of silence as my expression fell and his lifted.

“I hope that lemonade burned your nose.” I muttered, laying my head back on the island.

"But Uncle Jeonnnn." My son whined from the kitchen island the next day, after a busy morning.

"No. I said we'd get ice cream AFTER you put away all your toys." Jeongguk asserted, lightly kicking the large box of toys that had been taped up from being ripped.

I only shook my head as I loaded the fridge with groceries.

"But I already cleaned my room, helped dad in the kitchen and helped you!" My son bargained.

"He has been helping a lot today, Jeon," I informed with a small smile.

Jeongguk's head snapped to face me, betrayal written in his eyes, "Who's side are you on!?"

I let out a sigh. I had two toddlers now.

"I'm not picking a side. Junseok, he said after you put your toys away. But Jeongguk, you can't discredit the work he's put in today without being a brat or complaining once. " I resolved.

My best friend pouted, deep in thought. He then turned to my son.

"How about we get junk food and play video games for an hour as your reward?" Jeon suggested, making my son's eyes light up.

"Good, because I don't want to go back on my word. You only get ice cream when you put away your toys. Go get ready." Jeon chuckled.

My son jumped up and rushed to his room quickly as if Jeon would change his mind in under thirty seconds. Jeongguk stood next to me to open the fridge for a bottle of soda.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I know you said you wanted to help, but I don't want you to be doing all this because you feel obligated to." I frowned.

Jeongguk raised his eyebrow and swallowed, "M/n? I'm only taking him to the convenience store and back?"

"That's not it, " I rolled my eyes, "You've helped me mostly unpack, arrange the apartment and even took a week off from work to get us settled in. You've given a lot in the past few days."

It was then my best friend's turn to roll his eyes, "Seriously? Friends help friends move. And BEST friends arrange your fucking apartment for you because you don't have your shit together. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't show up. You and your son deserve some happiness right now, so if I have to call another customer service line to help me set up a shelf, I fucking will."

I smiled at how much determination filled his eyes. "You didn't have the right tool, like a dumbass," I recalled, trying not to cackle.

"The manual said I didn't need a hammer!" He snapped.

"Your voice got a little offended there. Did I hit a nerve?" I teased.

"Know what? Fuck you, " Jeongguk stated dramatically as he put down his soda and began to stride out the kitchen, "I'm leaving you! I'm going to stay with my parents and I'm taking our son with me!" He ranted as he walked into the hall.

I chuckled, shaking my head as I moved back to stock up the kitchen. After I loaded the pantry I looked around for the box with the plates. I walked more into the living room to examine the stacked boxes by the door but didn't find any more boxes for the kitchen. I frowned.

"Hey, Jeongguk?" I called rotating boxes, hoping I read them wrong.

"Yes?" He called back from my room.

"Do you know where the last box for the kitchen is?"

"Check the hall! There are a few boxes out there that just got delivered!" In the hall!?

I shook my head in judgment and walked to the front door and out into the hall. Sure enough, to the left of my door were two stacks of boxes, four boxes high. I jogged back into the apartment to get my box cutter off the kitchen counter and ran back out to get to work on opening the last kitchen box that conveniently sat on the top of the first stack.

After I cut the tape open, I retract the blade in the box cutter and shoved it in my front hoodie pocket for easy access. I opened the box and took out a plate to examine it for any damages.

I could hear Jeongguk and my son talking as they entered the living room, then the entryway to pull on their shoes.

"Off to get junk?" I asked, checking other plates.

"Yes! He even dressed himself." My eyes widened at my best friend's words, making me spin around to face my mismatched son.

He had on red pants, a white T-shirt, green converse, a pink hat, and a yellow zip-up hoodie.

"...Junseok...Why?" I wasn't disappointed or judging, just confused.

Junseok shrugged, "It's comfortable."

"I mean, at least that's what matters." I gave him a warm smile.

Jeongguk reached in his back pocket, "He's adorable, I should take a picture." Jeon froze.

"Fuck! I forgot my phone. Wait here, Seok." Jeon gave my son two quick pats on the head and dashed inside.

My son and I gave each other and look then shifted our gazes to the apartment to give my best friend a judgemental look he couldn't see. Once Jeongguk came back, he took my son's hand and gave us both a big bunny smile.

"We're off!" He announced, puffing out his chest.

"To see the wizard?" I teased.

"Off what?" My son questioned.

Jeongguk deflated, "Let's just go." He grumbled as I held back a chuckle.

"Bye, Dad!" Junseok happily waved and began to drag my best friend down the hall.

"I'll grab you the usual!" Jeon quickly told me as my son dragged him to the elevators.

I giggled, shaking my head. I turned back to the boxes and lifted up the kitchen one. I took the box into the kitchen, setting it down on the island and made my way back out to the hall. I grabbed the top box on the second stack, turning it to get a better look at what I had written on the side of it.

As I was checking I could hear footsteps behind me. I smirked, figuring it was my friend forgetting something, "Forgot your wallet now, Jeon?" I teased, turning around.

I was met with someone who wasn't Jeongguk.

Seokjin was looking down at the floor. It looked like he had been biting at his lips and his hands were shoved in his pocket.

"Hello, M/n..." His voice was awkward and I didn't expect it from the man who was so confident and straightforward yesterday.

"Seokjin! Hi! How is your day so far?" I asked just as awkwardly.

There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence. Seokjin let out a groan of frustration as he pulled his hands out his pockets and lifted his gaze.

"I wanted to apologize!" He stated, his chest seeming to puff up.

I pressed my lips together in an effort to not smile, "Apologize for what?"

"I came on too strong yesterday." -Seokjin looked down at the floor again- "You had barely met me and I thought if I made an impression, you'd be as interested as me. I talked to my friend about it and he called me a dumbass. I understand why though. You and your boyfriend seem to be happy together and have a son an-" I raised one finger up as I let out a small giggle of disbelief.

I knew it was rude to interrupt but I just had to.

"Y-You... You think Jeongguk and I are boyfriends?" I held back laughter.

His eyes widened slightly, seeming even more embarrassed, "Are you not??"

"Jeongguk is my best friend, he has a habit of calling my son 'our son' because he's been around him since birth and helped me a lot with raising him. I feel nothing but platonic feelings for Jeongguk and he feels the same. We're like brothers." I explained, a smile on my face.

So Seokjin was a softie. I should've guessed.

"I... I could've sworn... Well, that makes sense!" Seokjin threw his hands up and groaned, turning around so his back was to me and put his face in his hands.

"Seokjin? If the offer still stands I would love to go on a date with you. I just don't know if I can do it tonight." I smirked, feeling bolder now that I knew he was as awkward as me.

"I'll admit you DID make an impression. You made me so flustered I told you I was gay and ran." I added light-heartedly.

I heard Seokjin let out a small laugh and saw his shoulders shake a bit.

I pressed my lips together, thinking of how to make this situation less awkward.

“Would you like to have a drink with me? I’m kinda tired and need a break.” I smiled.

Seokjin nodded, only moving when I began to walk into my apartment.

“Woww!” He exclaimed in awe.

“What is it?” I asked, spinning around, full of fear.

“Your apartment looks so clean!” I let out a breath of relief.

I thought he found something bad. Like my son leaving a half-eaten sandwich on the floor or even Jeongguk forgetting my underwear on the couch because he insisted that he do laundry today.

Glad it wasn’t anything bad, I strolled to the kitchen to serve us glasses of lemonade. Seokjin looked around a bit before making his way into the kitchen.

“So, who’s your friend with the blunt advice?” I giggled, lifting my glass to my lips.

Seokjin smiled, “Yoongi. He goes back and forth between staying at my apartment and our friend Hoseok’s apartment. The day I did that was the day he was at Hoseok’s. He said I was like a toddler who he couldn’t leave alone.”

“Jeongguk says the same thing. He teased me endlessly for what I did,” I chuckled.

“Well, now we’re having a conversation like adults.”

“More like teenagers, because we’re having lemonade awkwardly.”

“Adults awkwardly drink lemonade too!” I laughed, only shaking my head.

“How old are you anyway? I want to say you’re my hyung, but the way you act contradicts that.” Seokjin pressed his hand to his chest in fake offense.

“I’m 26!”

“So you’re a goofy hyung.”

“And you’re a rude dongsaeng!” Now it was my turn to be offended.

“How so!?”

“You should’ve asked my age when we met!”

“Well, I’m sorry I was distracted!”

“I know I’m handsome but please have manners!” My face pretty much heated up the whole room.

“It’s because Jeongguk shouted out the window! Then the second time you cornered me!” I defended my honor as best as I could.

“Ahh, I knew my handsome face affected you.” He smiled playfully, shifting his hand to blow me a kiss.

“…I will kick you out of my apartment.”

Seokjin let out a laugh, “Why?”

“Because you’re backing me into a corner!”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’re handsome too.”

“…Where is Yoongi-hyung when you need him.”

“Yah! Why do you automatically call him hyung and not me!?”

“Because I learned my lesson!”

“Why didn’t you learn it before me!?”

“…I’m sorry, Hyung. I’ll do better next time.”

Seokjin smiled bigger, “Ah,” He clutched his chest, his face scrunching a bit like he was touched and proud, “what a respectful young man I’m raising you to be.”

“…I’m kicking you out.”

Over the next few days, Seokjin and I would wave to each other and sometimes he would knock at my door just to hang out. Jeongguk and Junseok seemed to really like him. It wasn’t long before I gave him my number so he could just text me when he would come over so I could just leave the door unlocked and so we could talk more.

If he wasn’t complimenting himself or me over text he would be giving me horribly good dad jokes.

I settled in easily and got a job working at Jeongguk’s ‘assistant’ since he worked as a camera operator. I was supposed to be as qualified as him, but what ends up happening is him teaching me how to work the camera and then him judging me when I fuck up. I am getting better, and I’m happy to have my best friend working with me.

After work is usually when Seokjin invites himself over. Since Jungkook and I are mostly attached to the hip, we pick up Junseok and all go home to my apartment together, so we make a ton of noise.

I needed to clean my apartment and go shopping one day, so Seokjin agreed to watch Junseok. I thought he would mind at first but he said he ‘would be honored to teach this young man his ways’ if I just promised that I would feed him dinner too… I wasn’t sure if I should’ve left him with Seokjin…

I had Seokjin stay at my now clean apartment while he watched Junseok since it would be easier. It was just Seokjin and Junseok since Jungkook had to go back to his own apartment to clean up.

I looked at the two bags of chips, one was ‘original’, meaning salt and a ton of grease and other one was octopus flavored. Since I haven’t tried the octopus flavored chip, I figured ‘what the hell’ and dropped them both in my basket.

“Old habits never die huh?” I heard making me freeze.

Please don’t be her.

I spun around and felt my blood boil, “Hyejin, what the actual fuck are you doing here?”

She gave me an awkward smile, “It’s nice to see you too.”

“Drop the crap, what do you want.”

“You just leaving was cruel. He’s my son too.” I narrowed my eyes at her, fighting every urge not to explode in a semi-busy store.

“You wanted nothing to do with him because it inconvenienced your ‘perfect life’. So you can fuck off with that. You literally delivered him, then handed him to me and never even visited until a few months ago. ”

“Because I regretted my decision.”

“Because the party was over. The people who ‘knew you better than me’ decided you were expendable.”

She sighed, “Stop being so mean!”

“Stop pretending like you came to this decision yourself and like you actually give a fuck.”

“What makes you think that I don’t!?”

“What’s the name of Junseok’s pig?”

There was silence. I sighed at her look of panic. Maybe I was too harsh, but I didn’t want MY son to be hurt by an unreliable person who only cared about themselves.

“Listen,” I began, looking down at my hands, trying to think over my words, “We used to have something and I didn’t plan on having a son so soon. You basically took matters into your own hands and forced this on the both of us. You had him, then handed him to me and never even looked his direction. I moved here to start over with him. So he wouldn’t hear stories of his mother at least for now. You left us both. You can see where I’m coming from can’t you?”

I looked up at the end of my rant to see her fuming.

I guess she couldn’t see where I was coming from.

“You can’t just pick up and start over without me! I’m his mother!”

“A mother doesn’t give her child up for partying and people who don’t care about anyone or anything.”

“Stop bringing my friends into this! It’s YOUR fault!”

I let out an annoyed sigh. This was going nowhere.

“You’re obviously not mature yet. Please leave me and MY son alone. I would consider you visiting my son if you grew up a little bit because you obviously haven’t learned anything. He starts school soon, and if I see or hear of you stalking him there or waiting at the fucking gates, so help me I will get every lawyer I can get my hands on to MAKE you stay away. So I’m politely telling you to go fuck yourself.” I grabbed another bag of chips and began to push past her.

“You can’t take my son from me!” She yelled as I walked away.

“I didn’t! You handed him over!” I called back, trying to walk away in fucking style.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Hyejin on the elevator ride up to my apartment.

Maybe I WAS too harsh.

Or maybe she was too stubborn to take a fucking hint.

I kept wondering if there was a compromise we could come to or if something was wrong with my logic.

I was afraid she’d get bored like before then leave again. Play nice for a few weeks then leave.

I didn’t want someone like that in my son’s life but she was right, she was his mother and she had rights.

What if I DID have to involve the law?

What if they decided that I shouldn’t get my son?

What if it all went downhill because I was too stubborn to just let her see him??

What if I DID let her see him and she took him from me??

I was so stuck in my thoughts that I didn’t notice that I got out the elevator and shoved open my front door.

I didn’t snap out of it until I heard a male scream. My head snapped up to see Seokjin leap from the couch and frantically look around for something to defend himself. After finding nothing he, for some reason, settled on Oink who was laying on the couch, cocking his arm back like he was going to throw it at me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa it's just me!" I held my hands up in front of me- "Put. The. Pig. Down!"

"You don't just walk into a man's home!" Seokjin scolded, shaking the pink stuffed pig at me in a demonstration of dominance.

“It’s MY apartment!”

“It was MY territory before you entered!”

“Like hell it is! I pay the bills!”

“I babysit and grace this place with my looks! Now tell me who REALLY provides for this family!”

As much as I tried to fight it, that made me smile. Despite me being too stressed and worked up to focus when I walked in, Seokjin made it all melt away in a matter of moments.

It was like 10 tons was lifted from my shoulders.

I sighed, letting my body relax, “You, Seokjin.” I smiled tiredly as I walked over to him.

He looked a little shocked at my words, still holding his guard up as I threw my arms around him to pull him into a thankful hug.

“You provide for this family more than you know.” I spoke, letting the silence hang in the air.

Then too much silence. It was only a few seconds of silence but it seemed like minutes. I was considering apologizing and pulling away, but I felt Jin wrap his arms around my waist and pull me closer.

It was now peaceful, comfortable, and reassuring silence.

It wasn’t like a hug with Jeongukk. Though it was filled with love and comfort, it felt like that but so much more.

I could feel my emotions pool in my chest and threaten to spill out. All from a simple hug.

“…I’m lost.” I admitted, hiding my face into his well-built shoulder.

Seokjin let out a small sigh, his arms tightening around me, “I’ll always be here to guide you.” He seemed to promise in a soft tone.

Maybe I could be willing to let Seokjin into my life more than I already had.

It really wouldn’t be so bad to let Seokjin be the person he wanted to be to me… Would it?

“So…about that date.” I began.

“Remember not to put the glass pitcher in the front of the fridge!” I called to Jeongguk as he was sat on the floor with my son.

I could hear their loud game continue, letting me know that they were far from listening. Their bowls of noodles sat behind them on the coffee table, untouched as they numbed themselves to the gaming world,

“Yah! Eat your food!” I snapped, making Jeongguk roll his eyes with an annoyed groan.

“Fine, MOM. We’ll eat.” He sassed, tapping my son’s side to get him to turn to the table.

I could hear a soft knock on the door that made me rush over to it. I pulled open my door, ready to tell Jin to just come in because I needed to wait for my socks to get out the drawer but my jaw dropped at the sight of him.

Black leather jacket, black shirt, dark jeans, and dark boots. A beautiful earring dangled from one of his ears, giving just the right amount of flash to draw attention.

I couldn’t help but stare in awe of the man I happened to snatch up by chance. I was taken by surprise by the outfit. He usually went for a more softer look. So my dumbass was wearing an oversized sweater and jeans to match his soft look but now that wasn’t happening.

Seokjin began to smirk at my obvious staring but just like that, it was over. The moment ruined with a noodle flying across the room, sauce splattering a bit on his face and my son cackling like the tyrant he was growing up to be.

My eyes widened and I quickly ran to get paper towels as Jeongguk began to scold my son about wasting noodles.

I made a mental note to scold my son for not only wasting noodles but ruining a perfectly good leather jacket.

“Sorry, Hyung! I should’ve warned you not to wear anything nice.” I let out a small awkward laugh.

“After all I’ve done to save Oink and THIS is how I’m treated!?” Seokjin mocked offense, a smile blessing his face, making me let out a breath of relief.

Seokjin the ran over to my son to ‘tackle’ him to the floor and wiggle his finger’s against my son’s side, causing my son to squeal with laughter. Jeongguk quickly picked a side as he jumped on Seokjin’s back to annoy him, causing Seokjin to yell at Jeongguk, but not causing him to stop tickling my son.

I smiled as warmth spread throughout my chest. Despite Seokjin’s attire, he was too soft for his own good and I loved that about him. He didn’t prod at my personal life, he didn’t push his boundaries, or judge how young I was with a son. Or even judge my relationship with Jeongguk. He just took it as it was and didn’t try to change it, he just wanted to be involved. He wanted to know me. He wanted to be a part of my life and take care of us.

“Yah! You’re ruining my date!” I complained, causing Jeongguk to blow into Seokjin’s ear as a form of rebellion.

“Stop giving foreplay!” I snapped at Jeongguk, causing his eyes to widen and for him to freeze in place.

Seokjin used Jeongguk’s pause to his advantage, grabbing Jeongguk to have him on his back so Seokjin could tickle him relentlessly too. Jeongguk let out a loud laugh as he tried to squirm out of Seokjin’s grasp.

“M/N! GET YOUR BOYFRIEND!”

“I don’t know, man. The way you were teasing him makes me think he’s YOUR boyfriend…”

“LESS SHIT TALK, MORE HELP!”

The date was not what I expected, but in a good way. Seokjin said he had a reservation somewhere and I thought it was a restaurant but after a few minutes of walking, he bought two bags of chips and some drinks as we casually strolled, which was gradually making my sanity decrease.

“So… Is this the date?” I asked as Seokjin’s eyes were trained on looking in his bag for the perfect chip.

“Would it be terrible if it was?” He asked, not bothering to look up.

“Not really, I just don’t really understand why we took an hour train ride to walk around.”

Seokjin only smirked. A moment of silence.

“So what do you think of koalas?” He tested.

“WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!?”

Seokjin let out a laugh and kept walking. I glared at the back of his head, wondering if it would be too cruel to trip him.

Words can never explain how much I felt like a child as I hastily pulled off my shoes and put them away. I practically vibrated with excitement as Seokjin led me into the empty place.

A trampoline park.

No one else but us and staff.

I was frozen in place, taken by surprise at just how huge this place was, “How did you manage to do this!? Are you rich or something!?” I gasped, “Am I your sugar baby now?” I asked as Seokjin un-glued me from my spot by pulling me by the hand.

“As much as I want you to think I’m perfect, my friend Taehyung works here. He offered the night to us.” He explained, stepping on the boarders of the trampolines on the floor so he could walk easily.

“…Are all your friends cool?” I asked, causing Seokjin to stop in his tracks and whip his head around to face me.

“Yah! Why do you want to know? I’m the coolest out of them! I’m the only 10!” I pressed my lips together in attempts to not burst out laughing.

Seokjin shook his head, “Let’s play a game! There are a few balls around, I go on one side and you go on the other, it hits the wall behind me, you get a point, I hit it behind you, you get a point.”

I could feel my competitive spirit spur in my chest, “Oh you’re fucking on!” I smirked, playfully pushing him to the side and rushing to get to the other side of the room.

“WHY DID YOU PUSH ME!?”

“PLAY THE GAME HYUNG!”

Seokjin decided to set a timer, 20 minutes, whoever got the most points in those 20 minutes was the winner. The loser had to buy dinner and the tickets back home. A few minutes into the game and I was only pulling 2 points ahead.

Seokjin was more athletic then I gave him credit for. Soon it got way too hot in the sweater I decided to wear. I was so used to playing these kinds of games with Jeongguk that I didn’t question it when I yanked off my sweater and threw it to the side to quickly get back into the game before Seokjin attempted to score.

However, that didn’t happen. Seokjin was walking with the ball, eyes too focused on me to the point where he stepped wrong between two trampolines, causing him to slip and the brightly colored borders to go directly into his groin. My hand flew up to my mouth as I heard the wind get knocked out of him painfully. I could feel second-hand pain in my stomach as he fell to the side, his hands cupping the now extremely sensitive area, his eyes watered.

“Holy shit! Hyung!? Are you okay!?” I asked, trying to run over but ended up losing my balance. Which ended in me doing a useless belly flop in his direction.

Seokjin let out a pain-filled chuckle, “Stop being cute I’m dying!”

“I’m sorry, Hyung!” I apologized quickly, getting up as fast as I could and stepping on the border so I wouldn’t lose balance again.

Before I could race to him Seokjin’s words stopped me, “YAH! Put on your shirt first!!”

I nodded rapidly and rushed over to grab my sweater, yanking it on and turning to sprint to Jin. Which made my impatient ass slip.

Again.

I let out a frustrated groan as I belly-flopped again.

“Oh just fucking forget it!” Seokjin murmured breathlessly, rolling onto his back.

“How about I just walk?” I suggested.

“That would be best considering this place is a death trap.”

I stood again, moving to walk carefully on the borders until I got to Seokjin. I kneeled down beside him, petting his head in attempts to comfort him.

“…Thank you.” He muttered, staring at the ceiling, looking like he was questioning every choice he’s ever made.

“…This means I win right?”

“Gloat all you want but I’m never bringing you here ever again and I’m telling Taehyung that he tried to kill me.”

“…No one had you staring.” I tried to hold back the laughter that was bubbling in my chest.

“SO NOW IT’S MY FAULT THAT YOU GOT NAKED IN FRONT OF ME!?” Seokjin suddenly popped off.

“I just took off my shirt. It was too hot.” I defended.

“TOO HOT IS RIGHT! YOU CHEATED! YOU KNEW THAT WOULD MAKE ME FLUSTERED! I WANT A REMATCH WHEN I CAN FEEL MY LEFT LEG AGAIN!” Seokjin ranted.

I giggled, “Hyung, just admit that you like my body and you lost.”

“I didn’t lose! You cheated! How would you feel if I took off my shirt during a game?”

“I would like it very much.” I teased.

I could see color bloom in Seokjin’s cheeks and ears.

I could feel adoration fill my chest, “You’re so cute.”

“I’m a 26-year-old man. I’m not cute.”

“If I get you dinner can I call you cute?”

“You get me dinner and I charge you for getting to have a meal with me.”

“You called me cute, this isn’t fair.”

“Don’t talk back to your hyung.”

“…My hyung just broke his balls…”

“And it demands respect!”

I half expected Seokjin to take me to a cafe or something, but instead, he was arguing on the phone as I‌ grabbed chips out of a vending machine.

“I set up that reservation three hours ago!”‌ My eyebrows shot up.

“How the fuck did you even do that in the first place??”‌ Seokjin pressed his hand to the phone as if to completely keep the person on the other line from hearing.

“Someone canceled and I booked it.”‌ He responded in a hushed tone.

The other person seemed to say something because Seokjin quickly removed his hand and snapped, “They DID cancel!”‌

I only shook my head as I looked around. There were a few small restaurants. One looked like it had some good looking noodles. Another one had shrimp wrapped in something that I first thought was noodles. It was more like a batter of sorts, it was all dipped in the deep fryer. I was more curious about what the hell that dough was than hungry for it.

I‌ did see one stall that stood out though. An older woman was making knife-cut noodles. She didn’t have many people since there was a constant battle of everyone one-upping each other.

I turned to Seokjin, who was still arguing with this person who wasn’t budging. I grabbed his hand and began to pull him towards the stall. He was too focused on bickering that he just let me drag him along. I pushed down on his shoulders to make him sit then turned to the surprised woman.

“Two bowls please!”‌ I‌ eagerly asked.

“Would you like chicken or pork in your bowl?”‌ She asked, mirroring my smile.

I frowned a bit looking over at Seokjin, still arguing. I wasn’t really sure what he would prefer.

“One bowl of each? He’s a little stubborn.”‌ I chuckled awkwardly.

She only nodded in understanding as she began to cook the noodles. I was excited, getting chopsticks and looking over the add-in options.

“Hyung, she has soybean paste!”‌ I exclaimed.

I didn’t hear a break in his stupid dispute.

“WHY TELL ME THERE WAS A CANCELLATION IF THERE WASNT!? THEY CALLED TO CANCEL THEY CAN'T JUST TAKE IT BACK!”

I let out a huff. Well at least I know he’s passionate about what he believes in.

I reached up and grabbed his phone, ignoring his appalled face as I ended the call.

“Yah!‌ I was winning! That was rude!” He scolded me.

“You weren’t winning!‌ You were arguing with a wall! Pay attention to me.”‌ I grumbled, moving to shove his phone in my pocket.

“Hey! Give me my phone!”‌ He tried to lunge for it but I held my arm out to just keep it out his reach.

“We came out to have a nice time!”‌ I whined.

“We are having a nice time!”‌

“You arguing about a table is not a nice time!”‌

Seokjin was about to retaliate but was cut off by the woman setting the bowls in front of us.

“Thank you!”‌ I smiled at her, successfully pocketing the phone.

“Pork or chicken?”‌ I asked, handing him chopsticks.

Seokjin wordlessly grabbed the chopsticks from me and slid the bowl with chicken closer to himself. A pout rested on his rose lips.

I‌ groaned, “Hyung, the reservation wasn’t THAT important to argue for twenty minutes.”‌

More silence.

I let out a sigh and pulled the pork bowl closer, mixing the noodles and beginning to eat. I looked over to the add-in options and got the hot pepper paste. I put a decent sized dab in my bowl and offered it to Seokjin, who just took it in more muteness. I only rolled my eyes and went back to eating. Who knew an argument could mean so much to him.

After about half a bowl of noodles, he finally spoke.

“I‌ wanted tonight to be perfect.”‌

I raised an eyebrow at him. He was only staring at his noodles in defeat.

“And it is so far… except for you arguing for twenty minutes then ignoring me for ten.”

Seokjin turned to me, sadness in his eyes, “But you finally said yes!‌”

His words slowly sunk in as he continued, “I didn’t get a lot of time to set this up, but I still wanted to blow you away.”‌ Oh great now I felt like a dick for not planning the date at a later time.

“I said yes because I wanted to know you more, not what you could offer me. I understand you want it to be perfect but I honestly feel more comfortable eating noodles at a stall than in a fancy restaurant that I have to get glares every time I laugh too loud. This IS perfect, Hyung.”‌

Seokjin looked back down at his bowl, “…If I would’ve known you were this cheap I would’ve had a picnic at the park.”‌ He grumbled.

“CAN WE!?”‌

Seokjin shook his head at me, a disapproving look on his face.

"I make a KILLER lemonade!"‌ I added with a proud smile.

I‌ saw Seokjin try to hold back a smile, "We'll have a picnic date next time."‌ He confirmed, lifting up a bundle of noodles.

We heard a clatter to the side of us. We whipped our heads to look towards the woman. She had dropped a spoon and looked a little... surprised?

"Ma'am, are you okay?"‌ I asked softly.

Seokjin only frowned, "Yes, we're on a date. I've even seen him without a shirt and I liked it."‌

My head snapped over to look at Seokjin, "Hyung!"

"We're planning on going home together,"‌ Seokjin added to my horror.

"OKAY!THANKYOUSOMUCHFORTHEMEALWE'REGOINGTOGONOW!" I yelled in one breath, frantically trying to pull my wallet out of my pocket.

"He even has a son so we don't need to adopt. We're going to raise a CHILD. TWO MEN."

"HYUNGSTOPTALKING!" I slammed the money on the table, just knowing I gave more money than was needed.

My face was way too hot and my brain was far too scattered to deal with what Seokjin just did.

I grabbed his hand and began to try to yank him away. It was useless. The man didn't budge.

"I'm going to use the belt tonight because he made me lose an argument."‌

World.

Just open up and take me now.

It wasn't just the woman who was staring now, it was others around the small market as well. I‌ wanted to melt into the floor.

“Hyung…”‌I‌ whispered, “If we leave now I’ll buy you cake.”

The ride and stroll home was by far my favorite part of the date. Even though I had to buy Seokjin a pretty expensive slice of cake –I’ve never seen someone shove a whole slice of strawberry cake in their mouth– we still talked the whole way home. Embarrassing stories of our childhoods, who our friends were and everything in between. It was amazing until the dreaded topic was brought up.

“What about Junseok? Does he talk to his mother?”‌

Fuck.

I looked down at my feet as we walked, thinking over my works. I tried to figure out how I was going to tell this story without being biased or have Seokjin thing badly of Hyejin.

Seokjin must have thought I didn’t want to tell him, “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too sore of a subject…”‌ He added, a little disappointed.

“It’s not that!”‌ I‌ quickly said, looking up as fast as I spoke.

I let out an awkward laugh from my outburst, “It’s just that I‌ don’t know how to really tell the story in a neutral or fair way. I only know one side of the story so it’s a little complicated.”‌

Seokjin let out a sigh. He reached over to grab my hand and dragged me over to some stairs close by. He sat down and patted beside him, “This sounds like it will take a while, so start from the beginning. We have the time.”‌

I looked down at him, shaking my head, “You just want to torture my best friend.”‌

“Looking after that well-behaved, future child of mine, is not torture.”‌ I raised an eyebrow.

“Future child of yours?”‌

“Just sit down and spill.”‌

I sighed, and plopped down next to him, this was going to be hard explaining this to someone who didn’t know Hyejin.

“I used to have two best friends. Jeongguk, and Hyejin. Hyejin was a girl and she kinda stuck around us,” I‌ began, trying to keep my eyes dead ahead so I wouldn’t have to look into his eyes. I‌ was almost afraid he would judge me.

“Jeongguk was in sports and had two other friends, Jimin and Taehyung. So sometimes Jeongguk and I couldn’t hang out. I‌ wasn’t mad about it, I mean I‌ didn’t expect him to not have other friends. But Hyejin made it seem like it was like he committed treason,”‌ I‌ scoffed at the ridiculousness, “She kept saying ‘if he’s having fun so should we’.”‌ I‌ mocked her stupid voice.

I could see Seokjin press his lips together to hold back laughter. I‌ sighed and began to rub my hands on my thighs nervously.

“I‌ was an art student. I‌ was trying to keep my grades above average and I didn’t care about having fun. But Hyejin kept going on and on and I knew that she wouldn’t stop until I gave in and went with her at least once. So I did. ” I‌ could feel my heart speed up at the thought of finishing the stupid story that seemed to affect me years later.

“Jimin had told me once that Hyejin was giving me heart eyes. I‌ told him she was our childhood friend, so he was wrong. Jeongguk and I talked about how she seemed to be the most unconvinced when I‌ came out, but I was too idiotic to think she would just let it go.”‌ I could feel anger begin to build and sting the back of my eyes.

“So sure enough, I‌ got black-out drunk and wandered upstairs. I just wanted to pass out and have someone drag me home in the morning. I‌ remember diving onto the bed and texting Jeongguk. I‌ remember Hyejin coming into the room and asking if I was plastered. I‌ remember saying something stupid like ‘I’m not plaster, I’m a person.’. I‌ remember her flipping me over and complaining about taking me home. I just remember her hovering over me. I‌ thought she was just going to complain more and take me home like a decent fucking human being would.”‌I nearly growled.

Seokjin scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close but said nothing, allowing me to continue.

“The last thing I‌ remember was her stupid fucking face hovering over me. I‌ woke up next to her. Being the idiot I was, I‌ woke her up and told her we would keep it a secret. I‌ dumbly thought she was as wasted as me and we just happened to hook up. We didn’t talk about it and I told her that if she brought it up, we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”‌ Even the summarized version made my blood boil.

“A few weeks later, she called in sick to school. When Jeongguk and I called in to check up on her, we were yelled at by her mom. Well… I‌ was yelled at by her mom. I‌ was called a low-life player and a bunch of other stupid shit. When I asked her what the hell her problem was, she told me Hyejin was pregnant.”‌

“I had to explain to Jeongguk what happened. Of course, Jeongguk was pissed. My family wasn’t very stable financially. But Hyejin’s family was. I had to explain to my parents. They weren’t as hard on me as they could’ve been, but they were disappointed. Jeongguk was the first to say she did it on purpose.”

“I believe him.”‌ Seokjin’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“I‌ do too. I tried to get a job, I‌ mean I was going to have a kid. So I stopped taking school as seriously. I figured if I‌ passed just above the bar it would be enough for art school. Hyejin kept telling me that being a parent was a full-time thing. She wasn’t going to let me go to art school. I told her that I WAS going. There were plenty of fathers in college! I‌ tried damn hard to get above the bar while working. It’s was 8 months of hell with Hyejin. Jeongguk would invite me to hang out with him and his friends, only for Hyejin to somehow find us and tell off Jimin like he was trying to steal me away. I‌ told her to cut it out, only for her to tell me I was hers until the baby was born. Jeong–”‌

“Bitch.”‌ I choked on air.

Seokjin patted my back as I coughed and sputtered, “Are you okay!?”‌ He questioned, worry written all over his face. My choking turned into laughter as I leaned onto Seokjin’s lap.

“What!? I’m sorry, but that’s crazy stalker level bitchery!”‌ He defended, only causing me to laugh more. Literal tears.

I felt Seokjin’s fingers comb through my hair as he let out small laughs of his own, waiting for me to calm down.

It wasn’t so bad in Seokjin’s lap. It was warm and comforting. Just what I needed for the finale of the horror story. My laughter died down. He didn’t stop playing with my hair as my breath evened out.

“Jeongguk was going to move here. But he stayed until Junseok was born.” I‌ said softly.

I rubbed my face more against his thigh, “That was nice of him.”‌Seokjin’s voice was feather-light.

“She left us.”‌ I‌ stated.

Seokjin’s fingers froze.

“Her parents were insisting I should marry her. My parents would fight back. A few weeks before Junseok was born, her parents put us in an apartment to live together. My mother hated it. It was pretty high-end. A few days before Junseok was born, Hyejin and I got into a fight about us getting married. I wasn’t going to do it. I would support her and my child. I‌ would make sure he grew up right, but I wasn’t going to trap myself in a loveless marriage. So when Junseok was born. She ignored me almost the whole time. Only waking up to feed him then going back to bed. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk were more excited to see him than she was. It was no surprise that as soon as she was able to walk around, she packed her things, handed me Junseok and left everything to me.”‌

I felt wet hit my cheek.

After a moment of confusion, I looked up at Seokjin. His eyes were red, tears beginning to streak down his cheeks.

I‌ quickly sat up to cup his face, “Why are you crying?”‌ I asked, trying to wipe away as many tears as I would.

“He’s such a great son. Why wouldn’t she just give him a chance?‌!” I’ve never seen him so hurt and angry.

I let out a sigh, “She came back last year. She tried to act like nothing happened. She just kept coming over and saying I was the problem for not giving her a chance. He knows her as his aunt, which creeps me out. So I moved so she would leave us alone. She just knows I’m in Seoul.”‌ I sagged my shoulders and dropped my hands to his thighs.

“Well she can suck my ass he’s my son now.”‌

“WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO CLAIM MY SON??” I‌ demanded.

Seokjin chuckled, “I’m telling you, he’s a great boy. You did perfect.”‌ His voice was soft and comforting.

He placed his hand in my hair to ruffle it, “You and your son are perfect for me.”‌

He’s face was still blotched red. His eyes shined with the light and his nose was as red as his ears. He was beautiful. It hurt to see him cry, but I couldn’t help the fondness that built in my chest.

“You’re perfect for us too.”‌ I‌ whispered.

His eyes turned into crescents as his smile grew.

“You’re even handsome when you cry.”‌ I‌ smirked.

“Yah!”‌ The switch flipped.

Seokjin drew back to smack the back of my head, “I’m starting to think you only want me around for my looks!”‌

“That’s not true!” I rubbed the back of my head with a pout, “I keep you around because you cook and make dad jokes.”‌

“…Do you appreciate them?”‌

“Very much so.”‌

“…Then I will continue to stay.”‌

Seokjin and I walked into the apartment building hand-in-hand. I would occasionally swing our hands, being the idiot I‌ was. Seokjin had a thing for winking at people who stared, which I had to scold him for.

Upon exiting the elevator, Seokjin turned to me, “How about I hang out at your apar-”‌

A‌ loud shriek cut Seokjin off. Making us both jump and look down the hall.

“JUNSEOK GIVE ME THE BASKET OF TOWELS!!!”‌ I could hear Jeongguk’s muffled yelling from in the apartment.

“SECRET AGENT SEOK WILL USE THEM TO ESCAPE THE EVIL VILLAIN!”‌

“YOU USE THEM TO CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW AND I WILL GRAB SCIS- STOP TYING THEM TOGETHER YOUR FATHER WILL KILL ME!”‌

I let out a deep sigh, turning to Seokjin, “You still sure he’s a good son?”‌

Seokjin gave me a big smile, “He’s tormenting Jeongguk. He’s the best son.”‌

I‌ could hear Junseok scream.

“SCREAM ALL YOU WANT! YOU CAN’T GO OUT THE WINDOW!!!”‌

Seokjin let out a sigh of his own, his hand tightened around mine, “Let’s go handle our son, shall we?”‌

#bts x male reader #kim seokjin x reader #bts one shot #bts fanfic #kpop x male reader

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kaffeinic · 5 years

Text

Caffeinic | Bang Chan

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Epilogue

Pairing: Reader x Barista!Bang Chan

Genre: Neutral // Angst Maybe? // Romance

Warnings: None

Preamble: You’ve been going to the same coffee shop for the past four years. You’ve ordered the same thing almost every single day, and you never, ever skip on that part of your morning. So, when Mrs. Park hired a new barista and the once serene café was suddenly flooded with people every second of the day, you were less than thrilled.

You stood outside of the cafe’s entrance, debating whether or not to enter. It has been two days since the date, and you had been actively avoiding the building. Unfortunately, you just ran out of coffee and really, really wanted the coffee that’s made here. You crossed your fingers, hoping that Mrs. Park was manning the floor this evening.

You flinched when the bell above the door trilled as you entered, hoping it didn’t draw any unwanted attention. You peeked at the work station, checking for any signs that Chan was in today. You cursed yourself for never having asked what his schedule was. You only saw Mrs. Park, who frowned when she saw you.

“Y/n, it’s been a while. Are you alright?” She asked, placing a mug on the counter. You nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, of course.” You replied. She cocked an eyebrow, scoffing.

“You are most definitely not fine, and I don’t appreciate being lied to.” She said, wagging a finger in your direction. Your eyes widened as you stopped in your tracks. “You haven’t been in for days and Chan has never looked more depressed.” Mrs. Park said. You looked down.

“It’s fine, I just didn’t want to come in.” You said. You weren’t lying.

“Then tell me why.” She said. You placed your bag on the bar counter, sliding into a seat.

“I really don’t think it’s my place to say.” You said. She looked down and laughed a little.

“That’s exactly what Chan told me.” She explained. “Tell me what happened.” You hung your head low.

“We just fought.” You finally said. She squinted at you, trying to find any indication whether what you said was true or not.

“Ah, I see.” She said, turning. She had grabbed the mug and hung it up behind her. “I was afraid this would happen.” She mumbled.

“Afraid what would happen?”

“That girl would do something to you two.” She said. “She seemed like trouble.” You let out a sigh.

“It wasn’t her. Chan lied to me.” You said. “Or, at least he broke a promise, which is kind of like lying.” You corrected yourself. Mrs. Park frowned.

“What did he promise you?” She asked.

“I really shouldn’t get into it.” You said. “It’s not fair for me to tell everyone about something like this.” You explained. She hummed and nodded, looking down.

“I had such high hopes for you two.” She said. “What would you like to order today, dear?” She asked. You told her your order, pulling out your textbook. You flipped through the pages, not really paying much attention to what they said. You heard the bell ring, signaling you that there was a new customer. You looked up to see Junseok.

“Hey, Y/n~!” He said, waving. He made his way over to you, smiling. “How’ve you been feeling?”

“So-so. What about you?” You said. He frowned, but understood.

“I’m doing alright, thanks. Can I sit here?” He pointed to the stool next to you. You hummed and smiled.

“Of course.”

He took his seat, placing his book bag on the counter next to yours. “I have a lot of studying to do.” He said. You could see three textbooks protruding from the open end of his bag. He wasn’t exaggerating.

“I felt that.” You said, laughing a little. “Which classes?” You asked.

“Anatomy, calculus, and biology.” He said. You raised a brow.

“Are you a medical major?” You asked. He nodded.

“Yeah. It’s always been a passion for me. What about you?” He asked.

“I haven’t decided yet.” You explained, sighing. “I really should, though.” Junseok chuckled at your exasperation.

“Take your time.” He said. You smiled at his kindness, nodding.

“Alright.” You heard footsteps coming from the employee room, looking up to see a very tired-looking Chan. He ran a hand through his locks, frowning.

“I’m ready to take over. You can go now, Mrs. Par-” He stopped in his tracks when he saw you.

“Thank you, Chan. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Mrs. Park briskly walked past all of you and to the stairs, smiling devilishly. Chan slowly walked over to the both of you, looking at Junseok.

“Would you like something to drink?” He asked. You could faintly see his teeth grit while he spoke. Junseok shook his head.

“I think I’m good for now, thanks bro.” He said.

“You can’t be here if you don’t order anything.” Chan’s voice had become lower, as if he was warning Junseok about something. It took a moment, but then the situation hit you; He was jealous. You rolled your eyes.

“I’ve been here a lot without ordering anything, and the café is pretty much empty. I think he’s fine, Chan.” You said, looking back down at your textbook. You scribbled a note and looked over to Junseok, smiling. He returned the gesture.

“I can order something if you want. It’s not a big deal.” He said. Chan huffed, whipping out a notepad.

“What can I get you?” He asked.

“I think I’ll get a macchiato.” Junseok said. “It’s been a while.” Chan nodded and scribbled the order down, turning away to brew Junseok’s coffee. You glanced between the two boys and sighed softly. It was going to be a long day.

The next few minutes passed peacefully, you and Junseok reading your textbooks and discussing, while Chan prepared the macchiato. The café received no new customers in that time, which you were thankful for. You sighed softly and closed your book.

“I think I need a break.” You admitted. Junseok looked up at you from his textbook, which had a large picture of what you could only imagine was some part of the human body. He nodded.

“I could use one, too.” He said. “Do you want me to take you home?” He asked. You shook your head.

“I’m fine. I think I can get there myself. It’s nice out.” You said. “I might want some more coffee before I leave. You can go if you want.” He hummed.

“Alright. Shoot me a text if you change your mind about that ride.” He said, gathering his things. You nodded and watched him exit the café.

“He didn’t even drink his coffee...” Chan muttered to himself as he took the half-full mug. You pursed your lips.

“I don’t always drink my coffee.” You said. “Just because he’s my friend doesn’t mean he can’t be yours.” Chan scoffed.

“He’s made it very clear he wants to be more than friends with you.” He said.

“I’ve made it clear that I don’t.” You retorted. Chan’s gaze never found yours throughout the entire conversation. “You-” You stuttered. “You don’t get to be mad at me.” You said. This time, he looked at you.

“I’m not mad at you.”

“You also don’t get to dictate who I spend my time with. Treating Junseok like crap isn’t going to help you.”

“I’m-” He said. “I’m not trying to.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Is now a good time for you to let me explain?” He asked. You shook your head.

“You admitted to kissing someone after you told me you wouldn’t do anything like that with other people. I don’t want to hear it. No explanation is going to help you.” You said. He frowned and nodded.

“I’ll try again later.”

Most of the next twenty minutes were spent with the occasional customer coming in, the sound of the coffee grinder going off every few minutes, and the smell of mixed colognes and perfumes irritating your senses. You began get up after your umpteenth cup of coffee, but stopped.

“Chan?” You said. He perked up and looked in your direction. “I’ll let you try to explain.” You couldn’t leave what both of you had without at least letting him try to explain the situation. He smiled weakly and nodded.

“I had gone back to the party after bringing you home, mostly to hang out with Junseok.” He began. “We were messing around, watching all of the drunk people being idiots. One of them came up to me - I don’t even know her name - and just laid one on me. Apparently, they were playing some hybrid of spin the bottle and truth or dare, and she was dared to kiss someone in the room.” He looked at you and frowned. “That person was me. I pushed her away the second it happened, I swear.” He said. You looked at him, contemplating how to feel.

If he was telling the truth, then it’s more than likely that Seoyeon used the incident to split you two up. If he’s lying, which people aren’t unknown to do, then you’d just be falling into the arms of a playboy. You hummed, and nodded.

“Thanks for telling me, but I need to just think about it for a while.” You said. Chan nodded in understanding.

“Take all the time you need.” He said. “In the meantime, I’ll try to find a way to prove it.” He paused. “Why didn’t Junseok tell you?” He asked.

“I never told him about it.” You admitted. Chan raised a brow.

“I thought for sure that you would have told him.”

“It’s not my place to tell everyone about things that happen between us.” You explained. “Even if I’m hurting.” Chan’s gaze softened.

“I get it.” He said. “Will I see you tomorrow?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You told him. He looked at his hands and grabbed a wet mug.

“Alright.” He said.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I’ve been getting lots of positive feedback for Caffeinic and it truly makes me so happy to see how much you all enjoy this! Also, wow, we just hit double digits for the chapter count! Let’s have a party! 😂 Let me know if you would like to be put on my Taglist. As always, if you enjoyed, please drop a like and reblog for your friends to read! Have a nice day~~

* DISCLAIMER: I do not own any gifs/photos used in this post. I do own the written content. Do NOT repost/edit. *

🏷 @a-toxic-galaxy • @hoshithehamster • @woo-for-woojin • @lovely-little-lesbib • @ethereal-chanracha • @midnatwlp • @joohowdy • @ckyunwon • @yeollliee • @aquietkerfuffle

#kpop #fanfictions #headcannons #reactions #stray kids #stray kids bang chan #bang chan #imagines #chan #ships #skz #stray kids chan #christopher bang #skz bang chan #skz chan #caffeinic #barista #au #boyfriend

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sanfrancisco101-rp · 4 years

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MEET YOUR NEIGHBOUR @sfc_junseok!

NOME: Kim Junseok Andy. DATA DE NASCIMENTO/IDADE: 15 de Setembro de 1993 / 27 anos. NACIONALIDADE: Estados Unidos. ETNIA: Coreano. GÊNERO: Masculino. ORIENTAÇÃO SEXUAL: Bissexual. OCUPAÇÃO: Vendedor na Pink Bunny House. APARTAMENTO: Apartamento 502. USER NO TWITTER: @sfc_junseok CARRD: https://0365247.carrd.co/

Morador do San Francisco 101 desde 2015.

PERSONALIDADE: Costuma sempre procurar explicações lógicas para qualquer coisa que lhe envolve ou que o interesse. Seja pela criação ou pelo fato de sua personalidade ser genuinamente assim, por vezes tende a analisar demais e precisa se conter para não ser tão crítico. Entretanto, Junseok ainda é uma pessoa flexível e adaptável — desde que a situação faça algum sentido. Longe de ser uma borboleta social, mas ainda faz o seu melhor para lidar com as pessoas ou, ao menos, não deixar visível o quão introvertido ele realmente é. Não durante o expediente, ao menos.

HISTÓRIA: A história de Junseok começa como a história de qualquer outro coreano-americano. De fato, nada sobre o começo de sua vida destoava significativamente dos demais — a começar pela imigração de seus pais da Coreia do Sul até os Estados Unidos em busca de melhores condições de vida e parando em uma cidadezinha chamada Cerritos, qual começava a se tornar uma escolha popular entre os asiáticos que desejavam correr atrás do famoso sonho americano. Foi ali que fizeram uma renda com uma papelaria comum e tiveram seus três filhos, sendo Andy o caçula da família.

Sua infância e adolescência não foi muito diferente dos outros descendentes que conhecia. Como era de se esperar, havia toda aquela pressão consequente de uma educação rígida. E com seus irmãos mais velhos caminhando na exata direção que seus pais tanto desejavam, a única maneira de ser perdoado por não escolher cursar direito ou medicina seria apenas se ele decidisse estudar administração ou economia. E em Harvard ou Yale, lógico, porque a filha do primo que é cunhado da vizinha conseguiu uma vaga, então por que ele não conseguiria também? Era simples assim. Bastava tirar a nota máxima em todos os SATs e ter um currículo tão impecável de modo que a sua ficha fosse praticamente irrecusável. Fácil.

Foi mais ou menos na metade de um curso de engenharia de uma outra faculdade que a estafa atingiu o seu limite e Junseok abandonou completamente todas as expectativas que tinham sobre si, junto de vários planos que nunca foram realmente seus. Uma atitude meio tardia, talvez, mas tudo valeria a pena se isso significasse poder tomar as rédeas da própria vida. … Valeria a pena em partes, no caso. E talvez fosse seguro dizer que não é muito recomendável tomar grandes decisões assim quando se está de cabeça quente e frustrado — ou ao menos era isso o que se passava em sua mente quando o rapaz decidiu trancar a faculdade e mudar-se de súbito para a casa de um amigo em uma outra cidade a horas de distância, em São Francisco, carregando nada além de uma mala com suas roupas e documentos.

E também era isso o que havia pensado quando escolheu o seu primeiro emprego, seja para comprovar a sua rebeldia, por ser próximo de seu novo lar, ou por simplesmente não ter pesquisado outros lugares antes disso devido a pressa.

Todas as pessoas que viam Andy parado atrás da caixa registradora ou nos corredores da Pink Bunny House tinham uma opinião unânime: ele não parecia se encaixar ali. E, de fato, era visível em seu rosto pelo menos durante os primeiros meses o quão perdido ele se sentia naquele ambiente. Após tanto tempo com o rosto afundado em livros e com uma vida social limitada, era de se esperar que ele não tivesse tantas experiências quanto um jovem adulto comum, ainda mais na área sexual. O que o havia ajudado durante o processo era a sua facilidade em memorizar (provavelmente uma habilidade adquirida devida à educação desde muito novo); e desde que encarasse as descrições de cada item e os relatos desnecessariamente detalhados como apenas uma matéria a ser estudada, não era tão absurda assim a ideia de analisar as informações e assim decidir como aplicá-las na forma de diferentes conselhos ou sugestões para os diversos visitantes da loja. Um perfeito “nerd” até mesmo nas mais estranhas das situações.

Apesar de toda a confusão no início de seu emprego, o trabalho não era de todo tão mau. Os clientes que costumavam ir a loja com frequência tinham a cabeça mais aberta que a maioria e o ambiente não abria espaço para julgamentos, salvo pelos comentários humorados de alguns visitantes sobre como Andy não possuía a típica aparência ou até mesmo presença de um funcionário do ramo. E ainda que sua experiência naquela área tivesse aumentado aos pouquinhos, principalmente após ter se mudado para o seu próprio apartamento; todos ali acreditavam que nada no mundo o faria parar de gaguejar ou balbuciar algo ininteligível toda vez que alguém insistisse em questionar a sua opinião pessoal sobre algo. Mas também deveria ser aquela característica, talvez, que pela primeira vez na vida o tornava diferente das outras pessoas ao seu redor.

PLOTS DE INTERESSE: Angst; Fluff; General; Crack; Romance; Smut; Squick. FACECLAIM: Jae.

#jae #kim juseok andy

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mgnifiqueyoo · 1 month

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Book: "Vessel." Pairing: Oh Junseok (ATBO) x Reader 1.1 - "MIA NEA APXH." Word Count: 2,050

(m.list | next.)

───── ❝ a new start. ❞ ─────

The sun shone nicely within the blue skies as I breathed deeply, knowing that today would be a lot different than before. I hugged my backpack closer to my chest while I watched how the tall buildings of the city passed by.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” My uncle asked from the front seat of the car, snapping me out of my attention as I nodded quickly even if it wasn’t the way I felt. Every single day felt as if nothing was new even if I knew to myself that I would be having a new start here.

Here in Seoul.

“You know, you seem a bit timid for someone who got accepted in IST,” he added, resulting in me chuckling. Well, I don’t know either why I still felt this way but I knew the exact reason why I never smiled that much anymore. Nonetheless, my uncle was right. How could I not be excited? Scholarship at IST University is everything I’ve wanted, right? I guess that wasn’t the case for me anymore.

Maybe soon it’ll sink into me deeper and I just hope that maybe I could smile about it, too. I was one of the few students who passed both exams for IST University. Well, one test was for the general audience who would also pay their way in but the other test was what I’m focused on. It’s not more of a want but it’s more of a need for me to be qualified for the scholarship program.

Why? Because my parents wouldn’t have to pay for my tuition. I always knew that I was made for something that wasn’t in Jeju.

Often, I was criticized for my passion in literature and I don’t know why they acted that way towards me. Maybe they were uneducated? I think that wouldn’t be that much of a possibility.

And within the top half of the takers, I managed to be at a bit of a higher rank, which was shocking. I wasn’t an honor student but somehow, I happened to be there and not even my parents expected that. But even after I saw the exam results, I remained kept together – maybe a bit more blunt than I should’ve reacted.

But why? What could be the reason behind that melancholic expression?

“I’m not. I’m just tired.” I quickly formed an excuse, which made him let out a scoff. Despite not being around him for a few years since he moved from Jeju to Seoul, he always knew whenever something was up with me.

“... Still thinking about him?”, he asked as I cleared my throat, gulping as I rested my back against the cushion of the car seat.

Never did I skip one day not thinking about him.

But before I could even give him an answer, we finally reached the university’s dormitory and he first got out of the car to take my luggage with him. I never really brought most of my belongings because not a lot of them were necessary enough.

But maybe I’ve bought something that would remind me of home and the reason why I’m here now. Who knew Jeju could be such a pain in my chest?

As I made my way out of the car, I tightened the straps of my backpack to lessen the uncomfortable feeling of carrying something heavy over my back. It seemed as if everything around me was bronzed in a way. From the leaves to the exterior design of IST’s dormitory, it never failed to tell me that autumn had just arrived. It was beautiful.

I wonder how he would’ve reacted if he'd seen this.

Grasping the straps of my backpack tighter, my uncle gave me a single nod as the two of us made our way in. First, we were greeted by the dormitory’s guards; I even smiled at them, later scanning my I.D. card over to confirm if I was indeed a student. As my face was shown on the screen, my uncle and I were finally able to walk the halls.

“Well, Room 333 is your stop, right?” he asked as I nodded, still thinking about how I was supposed to move here without struggling too much. “I’d have to go, then. You take care of yourself, okay?”

I nodded yet again, waving my hand at him as I watched him walk away. Yet before I could even twist the doorknob of my room, I heard someone from across the hall breathing heavily, causing me to turn to the right.

There, two rooms away from mine was a boy who wore a blue sweatshirt and a pair of black slacks, struggling with his heavy luggage, which made me feel concerned for him.

“Hey!” I called him, failing to fight the urge to stay quiet as he looked over to my side, his eyes widening as he grinned right after.

“Do you need help?” I questioned, which caused him to nod and wipe his sweat off of his face as I walked towards him, carrying my backpack and strolling my luggage across the tiles at once. This is the reason why I didn’t want to bring too much.

“Can you help me get these inside? I’m sorry for bothering you,” he apologized as I shook my head, reassuring him that it was alright as I opened the door, later helping him push what seemed like an extra desk for him inside the room. It’s one of the heaviest things I’ve ever pushed in my entire life.

“Ah! That was too heavy!” The boy kept catching his breath as I took a look around the room. Well, even if it wasn’t mine, every room in the dormitory probably looked like this.

“Hey,” He uttered as I turned around to look at him, smiling as I didn’t want him to think that I was just a dull student overall. “... Your name?” He asked, his shoulder raising at the same time before crossing his arms, still having a bright smile on his face.

“Oh? I’m Y/N L/N. I’m from Jeju,” I answered, snickering in awkwardness.

“I’m Seunghwan Jeong! From Busan,” he said back, maintaining his cheeky smile.

Well, to be honest, I’d think he’s the complete opposite of me for today. His eyes were glimmering under the sunlight that passed through the windows while he rambled about how far Jeju was from Seoul.

“Actually, I just came here from a really chaotic flight and… I guess I’m supposed to live here for the rest of the year.” Seunghwan breathed out with an overwhelmed look on his face, later looking around the room while I took note of how enthusiastic he was. “Oh, by the way! What course are you?” He quickly came up with a question, causing me to let out a few giggles.

He’s so bubbly. I wish to be like that someday.

“Literature, you?” I asked back as his eyes widened even more.

“Me, too! Oh, we definitely need to hang out more,” he commented, winking an eye at me as I was a bit taken aback.

At the same time, he didn’t seem like he was flirting with me either. Of course, everything fell silent. I just didn’t know how to make the conversation longer. I was just used to how it was back in Jeju, where I enjoyed spending my time alone. Sure, there were a few people who watched me scribble through my notepad as I let my emotions and the atmosphere create something out of it but I wasn’t close to anyone… Well, anyone except for one person.

“Um… Do you want me to help you out in your room?” Seunghwan came up with yet another question to lessen the tension as I was snapped out of my trance once more.

“Sure!” I smiled, later heading out of the room along with him as he volunteered to carry my backpack.

Once I pushed the door open, I was met with a different scenery. Everything was just like Seunghwan’s room from the cupboards to the small bed at the side yet something still sparked within me.

I guess this was what Seunghwan felt earlier.

I’d be living here all by myself for the whole year.

Taking my backpack from his arms, I pulled out the framed picture that I once placed in my bedroom back in Jeju. The frame was wooden and the glass was a bit dusty due to how it was from three years ago but the picture that lies beneath its wooden base and the glass still felt new.

My uncle was right. I still thought of him.

“I think I’m fine. You can go now,” I told the boy, which made him form a confused look on his face as I could see how my blank face reflected on the glass over his necklace that seemed like a chained compass.

“Call me if you need anything!” He cheerfully reminded, later waving his hand as he made his way out of the room, closing the door shut.

And I found myself still staring back at the picture, later deciding that maybe it would be best for me to just place it over my desk. The only one who ever understood the person behind the writings couldn’t even be here for me because of that one night.

Oh, how I miss you, Junseok.

Obviously, I couldn’t get my mind off of what happened. When I was still in eighth grade, everyone looked up to him. Why? He was never the type to start fights yet he was also the best in the sports team, mainly Taekwondo. Whenever things would go wrong, he’d always find a way to fix it and maybe laugh at the situation once it’s done.

He was my best friend.

I didn’t know if he counted me as the same but it felt like he did.

The moment he read one of the things I’ve written before, his curiosity grew and he would always take the chance to sit right next to me, even if we were already seatmates in class. I didn’t know what part of what I wrote made him feel so interested in getting to know me but I remembered how nice it felt to be around someone so… awesome, maybe?

“Let me be the water that embraces you, a beautiful flower. A water lily. So that no storm can ever hurt you as it isn’t my heart’s choice.”

I remembered how he was standing still, reading the written words over the lost page of my notebook aloud as I immediately turned around, attempting to take it away from his hand but he refused.

“You wrote this, right?” Junseok had a teasing grin, which made me expect that he’d make fun of how I loved to write such things that I still haven’t experienced.

“... Um, yeah. Why?” I stayed still as he handed the sheet willingly to me.

“It’s beautiful… I don’t understand why my friends think you’re weird,” He mumbled, sitting down on the chair next to mine as I kept my head down, not knowing what I should say back.

“They do?” I pretended not to know just to keep the conversation going as he nodded, his lips forming into a pout as he knitted his brows in confusion.

“Yeah? Honestly, I just think they just want to be as creative as you." Junseok's eyes acted as windows to his emotions, his head tilting quickly as if he never liked the things his friends said about me.

And that small interest he had was the beginning of everything I never thought I'd lose.

I couldn't take my eyes off of the picture, knowing that it was taken during the time I won a poem writing contest at school as I was holding the certificate with a bright smile on my face – something that I wasn't that able to do anymore. Next to me stood Junseok, who still wore his Taekwondo uniform as he had also smiled widely just like I did. And I thought that maybe if I had just come with him on that trip, then I wouldn't be left with nothing but pain right now.

He died alone on that ship.

Because I wasn’t there.

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mgnifiqueyoo · 11 days

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Book: "Vessel." Pairing: Oh Junseok (ATBO) x Reader 1.5 - "ΤΟ ΑΠΡΟΣΜΕΝΟ." Word Count: 2,986

(prev. | next.)

disclaimer: this was written before rakwon's departure so he will be mentioned throughout the story. just a heads up!

───── ❝ the unexpected. ❞ ─────

I thought of what he told me over and over again until I came up with something; just anything.

If someone who hasn’t even met me until now thinks that I don’t deserve Junseok’s treatment towards me, then maybe that meant I needed to leave him but there was still something stopping me from doing just that. I mean, I couldn’t just forget that he existed. No matter how rude he is now, he’s still a huge part of my past.

If I hadn’t met him, then high school would’ve felt shittier than before.

But because he was there, always ready to open a discussion whenever I was left all alone, those days didn’t feel as bad as they should’ve been. I couldn’t even remember how many rumors were passed around the neighborhood I used to live in but there were a lot… How could I forget about him when he’s done a lot for me? Well, maybe this is also a part of the reason why he treats me like trash.

I couldn’t do anything in return.

And of course, our seats stayed away from each other as I could still feel him glaring back at me while I chose to ignore it. “Are you okay, Y/N?”, Seunghwan asked with a lighthearted, genuine tone from behind, tapping my shoulder at the same time as I turned my head to look at him, giving him a thumbs-up, which made him smile wider. For some reason, I didn’t understand why he’d treat me differently since we didn’t even know each other at all.

He just happened to see me in the dormitory’s halls.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. Nice people are great to bond with, unlike others who’d act like a different version of themselves just for the fun of revenge… I feel like I’m talking about a specific person now. Should I stop thinking about him? Maybe I should.

Yet his side-glares still lingered over me and whenever my eyes would go around every corner of the room sneakily, not wanting to be too obvious that I knew he was watching my every move. During the first two classes, I was forced to do two things at once. One is listening to the second lecture about introductions for certain topics and the other one is watching my back, not having a single clue of what his next move would be.

It was exhausting but kind of fun at some point.

“Everyone, I want this to be submitted from Friday to Sunday evening, okay? So start working…” Mr. Lim announced, taking a moment to check the time on his wristwatch as his eyebrows raised in interest. “... And I guess that’s all for now. Good luck!” He was charming and gentle despite how some of my classmates took note of how intimidating his features were as he left the classroom with a smile on his face.

I guess they’ve never really come across Junseok’s recent persona.

A huge, 5’8 son of a bitch, maybe.

And just like the unreliable Literature student I was, I had written down the things I was supposed to do for the rest of the day. Obviously, I’ll do my chores first… but maybe just a few of them because I wanted to spend more time studying and figuring out things with the recent lessons rather than wasting my time on other things like that boy who always had to dress in either so much color or so little.

He’s a confusing person.

And I don’t like the fact that I find him confusing.

As I was still listing down the due dates of the requirements, I felt something press against the top of the chair’s back rails. I turned around to look at the person behind me, assuming that it was Seunghwan or even Hyunjun but I was met with that glare again.

The only glare which never failed to give me a headache.

“What are you doing? Don’t deny that you’ve been staring at me for three and a half hours.” Junseok pointed out, smirking as I turned away from him, rolling my eyes as I continued to write a few more of the due dates down. This time, however, I wrote them down slowly and carefully, trying to kill some time so I wouldn’t have to talk to him even if it meant that he was going to pester me for the entire break.

“Listing down duties? I always knew you were somewhat responsible.”

And so I suddenly stopped, the memory from last night’s argument rising above the surface like a boat saved by a miracle in the middle of a stormy night.

“You know? I’m not as mean as you think I am,” he said with a tone that was surprisingly less tense as I heard how he pulled the chair next to me towards himself, later sitting down as I still decided that it’d be best for me not to mind him.

He’s probably just playing jokes again.

“You’re not as bad as I thought after all.” Junseok lets out a chuckle – one that sounded a bit unsure, lowering his pride for once as I look back at him, catching him off his guard. I didn’t know what I felt in that moment but the emotion was something like the freedom I’d feel during a golden hour.

“You should’ve thought a little earlier than before, then.” I maintained to calm my loud thoughts down, not wanting him to freak out because of me one more time as he laughed back, making me remember how pretty his smile was.

I didn’t know how I should react to it.

This was the Junseok I grew to love. Still a sarcastic, leading type of person but definitely, the type to do it out of care.

“Maybe I should’ve but I couldn’t read you that well, to be honest,” he answered truthfully, which was something I understood ever since I was younger. Not a lot of people could describe the way I was as a person but for sure, they’d always say that I was creative, and maybe that’s because that was the only thing remarkable about me.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” I mumbled under my breath, closing my notebook before shoving it inside my backpack, which turned his gaze into a puzzled one.

When I got up from my seat, I returned the gaze he gave me, cocking my head to the side slightly just so he could snap out of whatever he was thinking. “... Are we done talking?” He asked cluelessly, causing me to look up at the ceiling to think if our small talk was now over, later shrugging as I didn’t want to offend him. “Well, I want to eat something before classes start again.”

“But I need to ask you something.” He fought back quickly, almost not letting me finish.

“... Well? What is it?” I asked once more, a little unsettled by how sharp his tone was.

He looks at me for a while, a smile slowly forming within his naturally plump lips as his eyes sparkle once more.

"Rakwon's party will be on Friday night and I want you to be my plus-one,” he said with a persuasion, his tone a little deep and his way of speaking pausing between the two pieces of information.

He wants me to be his what now? Does his mind change this quickly? Oh my god.

"Come on… Maybe I'll just remember you if you come with me.” He dragged his words sweetly as if he were just a child pleading with his parents politely. It doesn't take him long to even lightly pinch the end of my cardigan's sleeve, gently pulling it towards himself.

But I've never gone to any party before. What the hell am I gonna do there? Stand still until the party ends? And just like how I thought, I was standing still, not even realizing that Junseok was still there staring back at me.

“... Don’t you want me to remember you?”

I could feel my heart sink in deeper when he finally let go of the sleeve, obviously taking advantage of the way I needed him to remember what we had. Yet I couldn’t let my guard down, knowing that this was a public place and it would also scare him off.

He tells me that he can’t read the way I am but he’s the one I can’t understand. What are his motives? Why does he keep on doing this to me?

“You told me we were best friends… So make me feel as if we were that close.” Junseok continued, almost forcing me to just agree with him as his playful gaze turned serious, which made me take a few steps back. I didn’t know how to answer him because it was showing on his face again… The person I lost is there staring back at me with a gaze filled with expectations. “Make me feel as if I was that important to you.”

He was.

He’s always been that important to me.

“Sure… I’ll try,” I replied sternly, wanting all of the torment to stop as he breathed through a big smile. Does it look like I can handle those memories coming back all at once? His smile doesn’t help either.

No matter what the context was, whenever he had that smile, I’d always come back to the start of our friendship.

Well, a forgotten one. “Alright, then! We finally have a deal,” he uttered in relief, awkwardly turning away before heading downstairs as I was left standing there. But then, he turned around to look back at me once again, pausing as his lips slowly curled into a smaller grin.

Does this usually happen with people who have amnesia? Because everything’s just confusing and I feel stupid because I don’t know what to do.

Since when did I even have an idea of what I should do?

And so I huffed, trying to let out some of the tension as I held my backpack close to my chest before marching down the stairs as quickly as I could. At the doorway, he stood next to the outside frame, waiting for me as I told myself not to look at him ever again.

Maybe I should even avoid him for the rest of the day so that I’d have enough time to rethink my decisions… Well, sadly, that’s just for today since he has a habit of getting into my business.

“I forgot to tell you earlier but wear something cute.” Junseok casually reminded me as I looked back at him, raising an eyebrow at what he just told me. — Wear something cute? He didn’t have to diss my nonexistent fashion sense like that.

“Are you saying that I don’t dress well?” I questioned, raising my voice as he only took a moment to take a closer look at what I was wearing, later nodding.

“Yeah… That’s not my problem.” He teased, later leaving me to myself when his group of friends called him.

There was just something about him that didn’t feel right. Well, certainly, I’m not one to judge his whole personality when I was the one who talked to him about his past out of impulse. None of it was planned and he even treated me like garbage for days because of that but now, he wants me to be his plus-one for his friend’s party...

It just doesn’t add up.

Weirdly, none of his actions are making sense and I don’t think that’s a good sign for me.

“So, you guys are finally talking!” Seunghwan’s voice was loud as usual as he rested both of his arms on top of my shoulders, which I thought were heavy. Next to him was Hyunjun, who was also still wearing a laboratory gown that reached his knees.

“Oh? No, we weren’t. You’re just seeing things.” I quickly denied it, faking a laugh right after as I sped up my pace, not wanting to be in the same space as Junseok and his friends.

He may be acting all nice now but I’ll never know when he’ll break that character. “Oh, come on, Y/N. Can’t you look at the bright side for once?” The boy who never seemed to have experienced a bad day once asked, trying to convince me that things would get better for Junseok and me.

Isn’t he the person who told me to let go of my past and move forward? Ugh. Sometimes, I don’t really know if I should follow whatever piece of advice Seunghwan is giving me.

"I mean, at least the tension's died down!" He tried his best to persuade me into thinking everything was fine between Junseok and me as Hyunjun, on the other hand, looked confused.

"... What tension? Did something happen?" The softer boy then followed with a question, causing me to facepalm – both mentally and physically – as I realized that Seunghwan didn't tell him anything about my issues with Junseok's contradicting attitude.

Because of the sudden awkward atmosphere, Seunghwan giggled nervously, placing both of his hands on Hyunjun's shoulders, which lifted the heaviness over mine. "Ah… so that's what I forgot to tell you,” he said to him, which made me snicker. It's kind of automatic for the three of us to have no idea what we're talking about.

Well, what do you expect from me when all I think about is Junseok? What do you expect from Hyunjun who's from a different course?

Oh, and Seunghwan's just…

He's just like that but at least he's all happy and giddy.

"Basically, they're the enemies-to-lovers trope-,” I cut him off by only furrowing my brows. If Junseok is already thinking about what goes on in my head, then how would he even react to Seunghwan? God, the possibilities are endless and I'm sure in all of them, Junseok would end up being annoyed.

"We're not lovers. We're just batchmates." I retaliated as he stuck his tongue out, not believing what I said while Hyunjun scrunched his nose before rolling his eyes at us.

"Anyways, how did you guys get along, then?"

For a long moment, I let out a hum to not make the ambiance too silent as I thought of it. Oh, right. The two of us had gotten along over one thing and that's the party on Friday.

"Actually… We had a deal." I didn't know how to lie my way out of it as the two immediately looked interested with their widened eyes, swallowed by the topic of me having an agreement with Junseok.

"Really? What did you guys agree on?" Hyunjun was curious, always finding a way to ask questions whenever something new was up.

He rarely ever talks about his day but with that satisfied look on his face, Seunghwan and I would always conclude that he had a great day. "Junseok asked me to be his plus-one for Rakwon's party on Friday."

And with just that, the two let out a surprised noise that sounded like a dramatic gasp as if they didn't see it coming, and honestly, I also didn't expect Junseok to ask me something like that.

Apparently, that same loud reaction caught a lot of attention from everyone in the cafeteria, which caused me to keep my head down, using my own hair to cover my face.

"Oh, god. I'm sorry." Seunghwan apologized immediately, fully aware that he was the louder one out of the two.

"I'm used to it. Don't worry,” Hyunjun replied, words flowing out of his mouth as if it were faster than the speed of light as the other boy frowned.

"Excuse me? I wasn't apologizing to you," he whispered back as the cloud-looking boy only raised an eyebrow, not believing his response as I shook my head. I guess it's better to be stuck with these two rather than figure out how university life works on my own.

Although I still don't know how Seunghwan met Hyunjun, either way, it was nice to meet them at a time like this.

At a time when my supposed dead best friend is actually alive and well.

As we spotted an empty table, the three of us finally settled down and began to plan what we'd eat for lunch. Thankfully, all of us still had an extra hour to talk about whatever got into Junseok's head.

"I don't know but to me, it feels like they're setting me up." I had to get my doubts out of my head and since I don't know much about guys – and people in general – I needed their opinions on this.

"Like what he said, look at the bright side!" Hyunjun exclaimed with confidence, wanting me to feel the same way as Seunghwan only nodded, agreeing with the boy. "Just think of it as a way for you to connect with him since you guys don't know each other well." He continued to make me feel a lot more optimistic.

Ah, if only not knowing well was the case.

If only I could tell them what really bothered me about meeting him again but I'm afraid that they'd only think of me as someone delusional, which is why it's better for them to know that Junseok is just this "crush".

It wouldn't be too bad if I let myself in Rakwon's party, right? God, I wish.

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mgnifiqueyoo · 18 days

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Book: "Vessel." Pairing: Oh Junseok (ATBO) x Reader 1.4 - "ΚΟΡΟΪΔΙΑ" Word Count: 2,746

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───── ❝ mockery. ❞ ─────

Days passed, which almost made us forget about the last conversation we had.

Well, almost. "Oh, sorry- I'm sorry,” I stammered, stumbling until I found out that I'd carelessly bumped into him again.

Isn't this just the best thing that has ever happened to me? No, not at all. I hate this and I hate that I have to deal with this rather than ignoring it because someone just had to pay attention.

But could I blame him? I couldn't do it wholeheartedly either. He may act like such a prick towards me now but I can't stop seeing the person that he once was. "Oh? So, you do know how to apologize? Congratulations." He was sarcastic, rolling his eyes afterward as I chose to ignore him yet helping him pick up the stack of notebooks he had been carrying. "You don't have to help me. I could do it myself,” He grumbled as I took a pause, later deciding to just let him be.

It wasn't that important for him to remember anyway and I didn't want to be the cause of his annoyance… again. As both of us got up from the floor, I walked away without saying a word, which made him call my name.

Not in the way he used to, however.

"Hey, Y/N!" I could still hear how irritated he was by just saying my name as I turned around, looking back at him. Junseok walked closer to me, handing me a folder that I apparently owned.

Huh? I don't even remember buying this from the store. "Are you stupid? Don't leave your stuff behind.” He was still smug about it but for some reason, there was still a glimpse of concern on his face but maybe I was just imagining things.

Looking back at the folder, I turned away from Junseok and made my way in the opposite direction. Well, originally, I was planning to head back to the library to take some extra notes from the presentations earlier. Honestly, it was a bit of an inconvenience that all of us had to do this because we weren't allowed to take photos during classes but whatever IST prohibits, we just had no choice but to avoid it.

But as I was walking my way back to the library with my head facing down because of how I decided to read out the contents of the folder, I bumped into someone once again, which just caused all of what I'd been carrying to fall on the ground again for the second fucking time.

"Oh… Sorry,” I spoke out awkwardly but the guy seemed to not care, taking my belongings into his hands as he gave them back to me once again.

"It's okay! I don't mind it… Y/N?" His shoulders were soon raised up as he read my name on the ID card I wore like a long necklace. "That's a pretty name." He complimented me, which only made me smile back. It was the only response I knew to do whenever situations like this happened.

"I'm Yeonjun Choi. Third year." He later introduced himself with an even wider grin, shaking my hand willingly before heading somewhere else as my gaze followed him, intrigued.

"Yeonjun!"

A voice erupted from the end of the hall as I flinched in shock. Facing the other side, I saw a bunch of students, both girls and boys, standing next to each other like a colony of ants as they all rushed immediately toward the third-year university student, leaving me on my own once again.

Huh? That's weird. Why does it feel like this is high school all over again?

"Is it just me or do I find it weird that they're thirsting over the mayor's son?" A familiar voice asked as I turned my head to the side, feeling relieved when I recognized Hyunjun's face. "I mean, am I wrong? I'm pretty sure he's tired of these people following him." He added, squinting his eyes at the view of Yeonjun's little fanclub trying to get a picture of him and honestly, I couldn't agree more with him. Yeonjun must be tired of all the attention he's been getting even if I didn't know him.

As the two of us continued to look for Seunghwan in every hall, we finally saw him come out of the university's gym, still exhausted from all of the recent training.

Well, it turns out he's interested in getting himself on the varsity team, which unfortunately reminds me of that one person that I never thought could break me.

Junseok Oh.

I thought I was finally free of him since he wasn't around the library until he walked into the room confidently as he seemed to be searching for someone.

"Hey, Y/N. Isn't that Junseok?" Seunghwan whispered to my ear with his finger subtly pointing towards the boy he asked about as I shushed him, causing him to look a bit puzzled at what I did. Oh, right. They never knew about the issue between the two of us.

Isn't that just great? No, it isn't.

"Don't be obvious." I panicked, still whispering as I watched how Junseok had already walked around the space below. Thankfully, Hyunjun, Seunghwan, and I were staying on the second floor.

"Oh, are you hiding from him?" The clueless one asked another question once again as I only hummed back, holding my breath in nervousness. I know that this is another consequence of what I did but I just don't want to keep on hearing how much he hates me now. I don't know what made him this way but I have no choice but to accept it.

It's been three years.

I have to move forward.

I felt more terrified to watch the boy climb the stairs, heading towards the second floor as I kept my head down, scribbling on the page of my notebook as fast as I could so that I could leave in no time.

He's going to make me feel miserable and stupid again if he ever sees me.

"Hey," Junseok spoke quietly yet it was loud enough for me to hear him.

"Yes?" Seunghwan unfortunately answered, probably forgetting that I was hiding from the boy.

"Can I borrow her for a bit?"

At that moment, I almost forgot the reason why I was here and my mind began to circle around the desire to leave this goddamn place. "Hey." Even if he said the same word, his tone was a lot different towards me. Still deep yet no hint of interest.

"Come with me,” He continued to speak in that low tone as I looked up from the scribble-filled page of my notebook to see him standing next to me.

"And what do you need me for?" I was both clueless and doubtful of the reason behind his sudden approach since he wanted me out of his sight earlier. But all that he could do in return was cross his arms again just like how he did before, his lips puckered sideways as if he found me disappointing.

"I don't need anyone. I want you to help me out,” Junseok answered truthfully, his snappy attitude finally colliding with his voice and actions.

And honestly, I was going to ask him why I should help him but I think that's just going to let him state a threat in return.

"For what?" I asked another question, wanting to know about his motives.

"My stuff since you like bumping into me that much." Junseok was cruel with his words, taking note of every single stupid thing I did around him as I breathed deeply. I then kept my head up and straightened my posture, nodding once and faking a smile.

"Sure, why not?"

That was my go-to line whenever I knew I had no choice but to agree.

And of course, he didn't even hesitate to head downstairs, expecting me to follow him right away as he turned around and gave me a fiery glare, which was enough for me to understand that I needed to be there… instantly.

So I hugged my notebooks close to me once more, waving my hand at the two boys I sat with before making my way downstairs. It was surprising to see Junseok wait as he always sounded a bit impatient… or maybe he was just like that towards me. I don't know and I probably shouldn't care.

Like, how feelings reciprocate like that, you know? Yeah, that's what I'm doing but I have no idea if I'm doing it right.

"Can you carry heavy things?" Junseok's eyes sparkled as he spoke, looking up at the ceiling while he probably tried figuring it out himself. He's not so far from his past self after all.

"Well, I can but not a lot,” I said back, shrugging as he nodded to himself, still looking somewhere else.

"Cool… Carry this, then,” He replied, later placing a heavy backpack over me and I was forced to hug it tightly.

Expectedly, Junseok started to walk his way out of the library, leaving the door open for me. Thankfully, I was able to fit through the slim doorway, balancing myself in between steps as I followed him. And for a moment, I thought that he genuinely needed me for actual help but that was until he had a chat with his group of friends while I stood there, waiting with an unbelievably heavy backpack in my hands as I could feel how my arms trembled weakly.

"Is that Y/N?" The one who went with the name Rakwon asked as I faked another smile, concealing my growing temper.

I didn’t expect to feel that way; To feel as if I was being pricked by a bunch of toothpicks that failed to draw blood. To feel as if I was stuck in the middle of a lonely road only to find out that I was only five minutes away from my destination. To feel as if I wanted to yell in a silent library.

I was irritated over what he was doing to me right now.

“Hey, Y/N!” Rakwon was completely oblivious to it as I did the same in return, taking a deep breath to contain my anger while I watched how Junseok laughed along with them. He’s no longer himself anymore and to me, it seemed like he enjoyed acting this way. And so, I decided to walk up to them, not distancing myself away anymore as I wanted to make it clear to them that this wasn’t funny.

“... What are you looking at?”

Junseok absolutely knew why I was staring at all of them blankly and I knew he was doing this because of whatever the hell I did last time.

I caused him to freak out but that wasn’t a valid reason for him to treat me like this – like shit. “Next time, don’t fucking bring bricks to class... Thanks.” It was a first for me to make myself sound bitter and cold, which was something that I never thought I’d do towards him.

But I’m sure that won’t do anything. He’s just cruel enough to not care. “Huh? You actually pissed her off,” One of them – well, the pale, short one, whom I didn’t know of – commented right away with sass as I reminded myself not to look back. Why? Because it’d seem as if I just did this to get a reaction just like how Junseok does most of the time.

“I’ll talk her out of it.” He was still as confident as he was, which was unsurprising anymore as I could hear his footsteps following me from behind.

“Do you even know where my room is?” Junseok asked, catching up as I shook my head.

“No, of course. You hadn’t told me.” I still had the same blunt and cold tone in my voice.

I could hear how his regret had gotten to him, which should’ve been there ever since we started “talking”. Does his past self deserve this treatment? No because he had actually shown care before and knew to do what’s right for those who were treated as outcasts but now? That’s all gone. I still don’t know why or how it happened but I guess things really did change since three years ago.

“I live in Room 727- Can you look at me for a bit?” He sounded as if he lacked some patience again, which caused me to take a pause from heading to the dorms as I turned around and faced him just like how he wanted. “Look, Y/N. I guess I’m sorry for how heavy my backpack is but you were willing to help me earlier, weren’t you?”

“You guess you’re sorry? God, you don’t feel real at all.” I chuckled, the bitterness that was once in my voice slowly getting into my head as even the guard who stood before us felt the tension.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you chose to help me… Someone who treats you like shit.” Junseok knew his way with words, wanting to hurt me over a thing I did on the first day of classes.

Maybe this really was his form of revenge. Repetitively hurting me over what I couldn’t do.

As we both noticed how the guard still watched and listened to us, the two of us chose to ignore his perplexed reaction and headed upstairs until we were facing the door of his room.

I angrily pushed his backpack against his chest, seeing how he took it without his overflowing bitchy attitude faltering once. “If you think that you’re worth something, then don’t waste your time around someone like me,” Junseok said before taking a few steps back, clutching his heavy backpack before opening the door behind him. “Again, my apologies.”

He shut the door closed and all I could do was return to my room, blankly staring at the window as I kept the picture of us facing down the desk. Ever since I’ve seen him again, I have been met with two emotions. One is relief because I realized how I was right all along since I’ve been doubtful that he was completely gone.

The second one, however, was regret because now that he’s alive, I must’ve broken him when I didn’t try to find him. Everything felt like a dream that I wanted yet the consequences came with it, too.

And it somehow made me feel as if I deserved to be found lifeless on a random shore.

Maybe I had some importance to him because he felt disappointed in me.

As I spent the rest of the afternoon silently letting my tears fall like the seas that killed the beautiful part of himself, my phone buzzed from the table, which made me turn away from the window view. At first, I wasn’t confident enough to check who could’ve messaged me but after all, I still needed to check messages in case my parents were worrying about how I was doing here.

So I read the text anyway, sighing in relief to find out that it was just Seunghwan – the nice one and of course, Hyunjun’s the other nice one too but this time, it was just him… and he also knew about what happened. He admitted that he watched me struggle to be around Junseok and that he expected that he’d help me out since he concluded that the guy must’ve been also interested in me.

It didn’t take him long enough to know that he wasn’t and that there was more to it, which was the reason why he ended up sitting on the chair next to my desk inside my room.

“I don’t know how to deal with this.” I was frustrated, aware that his old self was just an illusion for me to treasure – a memory for me to love as the boy nodded eagerly, listening closely to every word I said.

“Look, maybe it’s best for you to just let him go and just move forward.”

Was it?

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mgnifiqueyoo · 25 days

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Book: "Vessel." Pairing: Oh Junseok (ATBO) x Reader 1.3 - "ΕΝΑΣ ΞΕΝΟΣ." Word Count: 2,500

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───── ❝ a stranger.❞ ─────

But he's dead.

He shouldn't be here.

All I could do was stare at the boy who sat next to me with an unexplainable feeling that made me hold my breath. It was that same feeling I felt when I saw the flowers placed around his locker while a framed picture of him was hung on the front, smiling back at me while tears quietly streamed down my face.

Everyone mourned for him loudly yet once the bell rang, they were nowhere to be seen. But I was still there, standing still as what he told me before he went on that trip was still stuck in my head.

"Oh, you're really not allowed to go?"

I should've known he was wishing for me to come with him. I could've been there with him but what can I do? My parents wouldn't say yes.

"Dear, are you alright?" I remembered how one of the teachers asked while I sat on the floor, still staring at the locker. That time, everyone had made their way home already while I was still there, trying to accept what had happened but until now, it's still in my head.

"But his body wasn't found, right?" I asked her back.

"Yes, but he is… gone.” Mrs. Lee already sounded as if she regretted asking me.

I could remember that exact moment I was finally on my feet, crossing my arms as my eyes chose to look everywhere but that locker. "You can't change what the police stated. He's gone, Dear." She shook her head right after, later caressing the top of my head as she turned away, already on her way out.

But then, she turned around once more, facing my eighth-grader self as she seemed to have noticed that it was already late in the afternoon. "Be careful, hm?"

I don't know if I ever was careful.

And today, I kept on staring at him as he minded his own business, even putting his legs on top of his desks as his pen was in between his lips.

He was almost unrecognizable but I knew that it was him. I couldn't even pay attention to the first two classes because of the way I always found myself looking back at him as if I had expected something from him.

But who was I to expect something from a dead person? Was he even real?

"So, why were you staring at him?" Seunghwan was apparently quick to notice everything I've done since the start of the day as I looked back at Hyunjun, noticing how he also seemed interested to know the reason behind it.

"It was nothing!" I excused myself, taking a bite from the fried chicken I ordered for lunch while they both raised their eyebrows at me in doubt.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't look like it was nothing at all,” Hyunjun muttered between gritted teeth and a slight smile as I breathed out, choosing not to mind whatever he said.

Should they know? I'm sure that they shouldn't know anything about it. From a few steps away, I could hear him laughing with his friends, causing me to turn around and watch him enjoy his time alongside different students that I didn't know either. Turning back to them, Seunghwan tilted his head to the side, not buying the excuse I made earlier.

"Honestly, that doesn't seem like it was nothing…" His tone was somewhat filled with a melody as he hummed, which made the boy beside him chuckle.

Does it look like I can escape this damn situation? No.

Great.

How do I explain to two people that my dead best friend is actually alive and doing well? I'm not even sure if he even remembers me. It's been a long time since his death was announced. "... I just thought he was someone I knew." I snickered, playing it off as if it wasn't so serious but Hyunjun still looked skeptical about it.

He wasn't going to let this pass. I just know it.

As soon as he grabbed his phone, he began to surf the internet for answers as I tried not to roll my eyes yet still failed despite my attempts. "What's his name again?" He asked the boy next to him as the other one looked up at the ceiling for a while.

"I think his name is… it's Junseok Oh, right?" Seunghwan questioned, looking into my eyes as I faked a smile, nodding slowly.

"Look, guys, it's nothing. I just found him cute and all."

I excused myself yet again but this time, they were both convinced that it was why I was staring at him. Well, at least, they wouldn't have to know that Junseok has been pronounced dead for the past three years.

But I never realized how that alibi would backfire immediately. “Really? Then, why don’t you go talk to him? You were literally sitting next to him earlier.” Seunghwan teased as I squinted my eyes at him, both jokingly and nervously as I looked behind to see him talking about something with his friends.

How could I talk to him? He’s already so different yet so the same from three years ago.

“He’s probably not interested in me.” I made up another excuse, causing Hyunjun to let out a whine, disagreeing with what I told them as he shook his head furiously.

“You two don’t even know each other yet! What if he changes his mind in the long run?” He immediately showed me the bright side of it but sadly, it wasn’t just because I thought that he wouldn’t be interested in me… God, it feels like I’m seeing a ghost.

But how?

How did he survive?

How is he still alive after all those years?

I shuddered, gulping at how much he’d changed as I wasn’t sure if he’d even be happy to see me.

“Come on, Y/N! You can do it!” Seunghwan cheered from the other side of the table as I gave myself a nod, taking a deep breath before deciding that it wouldn’t probably end up as bad as I thought. Getting up from my seat, I heard the two boys from behind faintly cheer – because they probably didn’t want to be too loud – while I headed towards Junseok’s table, my shoulders slouched as I bit my bottom lip, keeping my head down.

“Is this seat taken?”

It took me a moment to finally lift my head from the sight of the tiles, facing Junseok straightforwardly as his lips were suddenly sealed shut as well as the other boys who sat with him.

“Hello, there? Do you need something? My name’s Rakwon by the way. You?” The blonde one extended his arm towards me, his eyebrows slightly raised as he had somewhat of a confident look on his face.

“Oh, uh… Hi, there. My name’s Y/N-”

And then, I was interrupted by another friend of theirs. “So, Y/N, do you like parties?” The other one beside him asked. Honestly, the first thing I noticed about him was how plump his lips were.

“Parties? I’ve never been into one so I don’t know,” I replied, reading the tiny pin he had. I’m guessing his name is Junmin Ryu.

But I guess that’s not much of an important thing since Junseok chuckled at how I wasn’t invited to parties. Great.

“So, not a party girl, huh? Why are you here, then?”

Everyone in Junseok’s circle has already asked me too many questions when all I wanted was to talk to him – not the others. “I just want to talk to him,” I quietly answered, the words coming out of my mouth almost as silent as a whisper as I was weakly pointing toward him. His expressive eyes widened as his finger pointed at himself in surprise. I mean, I can’t blame him.

To be called by a stranger on your first day in university is overwhelming. “Me? What did I do?” The boy in the all-black outfit and the brown cap asked, later letting out a chuckle as he hesitantly got up from his seat. “What do you need me for?”

I needed an explanation, Junseok… I have so many questions. How could he act like he never knew me?

“A minute,” I coldly requested, which made his other friends react as if they were poking fun at him while finding me odd at the same time. In their minds, they think that I’m just a complete stranger but in mine? I knew him before they did.

Junseok sighed, taking my wrist in his grasp as he quickly led me to a space a few steps away from his table. “Okay, can you make this quick? We’ve been trying to plan Rakwon’s party out, you know?” He was irritated, crossing his arms at me as he even rolled his eyes, making me understand that I was wasting his time. And all I could do in response was hum, not wanting to piss him off even more.

“Why are you here? How did you survive?” I questioned bluntly as he stared at me, confused. Junseok leans in closer to my face, still looking into my eyes as he raises an eyebrow.

“Excuse me but what the fuck are you talking about?” He asked back, cursing in the process as he backed away right after.

Does he not know? How does he not know what happened before? How does he not remember how that ship sank?

“You were on a trip to Crete three years ago with your family… How could you not know what I’m talking about?” I tried to keep myself calm but the laugh that Junseok let out was too heartbreaking for me to handle. It hurt. Getting that out of my chest hurt and now, he’s laughing at me like I was a complete maniac.

“Look, I’m sorry if you’re offended but I don’t know you… and I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.”

And maybe the waters embraced him so much that he forgot about the storm. “But Junseok, I’m not just anyone you know… We were best friends. Do you not remember me?” I still kept trying to hold onto what I knew about him, walking a few steps closer to him as he backed away once more, maintaining his distance.

Why can’t he just tell me he had amnesia or something? Why does he keep on insisting we never knew each other?

“Me and you? Best friends? Trust me, I have never met anyone named Y/N…” He trailed off, his brows furrowing even more as he took another deep breath, scratching the back of his head afterward. “... Also, what do you mean by survive?” Junseok added yet another question with an agitated tone, which caused me to be frozen in place as that picture on top of his old locker washed over my mind again like it was waves from the sea that would meet the shore. But then, his present self waved his hand over my sight, returning me to the real world.

“Can you answer me? I’m politely asking you a question.” He was impatient, clicking his tongue after asking me as his face expressed nothing but annoyance.

I have no idea what to tell him. He’s never raised his voice at me until now and I was way too startled to even answer him.

Oh, and he was never polite with that question.

“Are you just gonna stand there and not say anything after telling me those things?” He pointed out as I took another step back, choosing to keep myself silent instead of fueling the obvious flame he had. I didn’t know if he truly didn’t remember me but seeing him acting like this is continuing to break me. “Fine, then.” Junseok shrugged without any hint of insecurity, turning away from me as he took his cap off, fixing his hair for a bit before looking back at me once more. “Just don’t talk to me like this again, idiot.”

And he left me there, standing all by myself.

He left me again.

When the day ended, I couldn’t even bring myself to look at that picture on top of my desk. I didn’t know what I was actually feeling towards him. Should I feel angry? Should I feel ashamed of myself for walking up to him? I wasn’t sure of it one bit because he had every right to question me if he really had no memory of who he once was.

Was it my fault? I don’t know.

“Junseok… Why are you like this?” I asked, speaking into thin air as if he was really there, later deciding that it would be best for me to flip the framed picture down, its glass touching the wooden surface of the desk. Even if no one heard our conversation, I felt humiliated over it.

“Do you really not remember me? Or do you hate me for not saving you?” The words that came out of my mouth were all out of anger.

I’m so angry at myself. Why should I call him my best friend when I couldn’t even save him? Why should he care about me when I couldn’t even bring him back? Why should he remember me when all I could do was stare at his emptied locker for days? Weeks? Months?

Three years and all I’ve done was that. I don’t deserve anything from him.

It should’ve been me.

But then, I heard several knocks on the door, causing me to take my attention away from what happened earlier. I thought for a moment if I should even answer the door since everyone who studied Literature stayed there, which meant that I could see Junseok again even if I didn’t choose to.

But because I’ve had enough of myself being a coward, I decided that maybe it was better for me to just walk up there and talk to the person no matter who it was.

Behind that door was Seunghwan, who had a few snacks in both of his hands as he seemed to be with the boy who weirdly looked like a living cloud.

“Want to join us? We’re watching a movie together in my room!” He invited me with a cheeky smile, which also never failed to persuade me to do the same in return if you haven’t noticed that yet.

“Sure, why not? Just make sure you still have enough snacks left for me!” I joked, changing my mood to cover up what happened earlier as the two were at least glad to know that I was joining their movie night.

I guess it’s time for me to forget about my pain for a bit.

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