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libraford · 2 months ago

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Multi-paper junk mini journal tutorial (low spoons version)

Last night, I mentioned that I like my blank books to have a combination of different papers: colored paper for sketching, blank paper for writing, dotted paper for lists, graph paper for schematics and maps, but there arent many manufacturers that make this. So I just make them myself.

And yall wanna know how to do that.

GREAT!

Here's the easy version. This is for:

-I want this for me, NOW, and I don't care what it looks like because I'm gonna cover it in stickers, and it's only going to be a few pages long. If it lasts a week, I'm happy.

You will need:

- desired papers, 8.5x11 inch regular ass sizes

- a piece of card stock or a thicker paper.

- stapler

- washi tape (optional)

- probably scissors

STEP 1

Take a piece of paper. Fold it in half. Tear or cut the paper along the fold line so you have two half sheets of paper.

If you want a larger book, you can just fold it in half and the book will be 8.5×5 instead of 5x3.25.

STEP 2

Fold the half sheets in half and crease them. Repeat this for every sheet you intend on using for the inside of your journal.* Try not to do more than 8 papers because it'll put stress on the stapler. The papers should now fit inside of each other.

*you could, if pressed, fold them all together in one big group. This is faster, however- if you've ever had a handmade zine that doesn't close cleanly it's likely that they stapled it together without creasing. To each their own. I don't run your life.

If there is excess on the ends that makes the book uneven, feel free to chop it off at this point.

STEP 3

Repeat step 2, but with the thicker paper, which is now your book cover.

STEP 4

Find the centerfold- which is the middle piece of paper. Lay it flat and make sure all the papers and the cover line up.

TIME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH STAPLER!

Ah, yes- the zine-stitch. Three staples to hold it all together, one in the center and 2 an inch from the top and bottom. If you are doing a larger size, you may need more staples.

You can staple from the inside or you can flip it over and staple it from the spine. Stapling from the spine will make it smoother on the outside so if you're carrying it in your pocket it won't catch threads.

But sometimes stapling from the inside is the only method that works. I've got a fix for you at the end.

Stapling is easy because it's a fast fix, but you may find yourself wasting staples because they don't go all the way through. This can be that the paper is too thick or that there's too many papers. I have a more complicated version of this that's suited to this situation, which I'll write later.

Other, more obvious solution: better staples, better stapler. But I don't have that.

You can call yourself done now, or...

OPTIONAL STEP 5

If you stapled from the centerfold or if you plain don't like the way your spine looks, we're gonna use some washi tape.**

Gently find an unstapled flap in the cover and separate it so you can get some washing tape to adhere to the inside.

Run it along the spine with the book flattened.

Adhere it to the inside of the cover at the bottom and then fold.

**an advanced technique for this when you don't have washi tape: cut a strip of contrasting paper at least 1 inch thick and 2 inches longer than the spine (so in this case it would be 1 inch by 7 inches.) Coat the back of this paper with glue and then use in the same way the washi is shown. This will require extra curing time and you will want to put something heavy on top as it dries. Washi is just easier.

Now slap a sticker on it.

Nice!

And now you've got a little journal. Does it look great? Who cares? You don't have to look all over for a piece of graph paper when you wanna draw a map of something while you're out doing stuff.

It took me longer to write the tutorial than it did to make the thing. The hardest part was getting the staples to behave.

I have a higher spoons version that I will write up later, but this is the punkass way of doing something for yourself.

UPDATE: The tutorial for the nicer version is available here!

#DIY #bookbinding #zine making #journaling

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deminetly · 2 months ago

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୨A THOUGHT DAUGHTERS GUIDE TO ESCAPING BOREDOM୧

……………………………………………………………

make posters for fake events and leave them around town

buy a cake, some balloons and a present for yourself, pretending like its your birthday

go for a run through the forest in a flowy white dress

tape googly eyes on trees

read a book and highlight every word you find beautiful

start a new religion

thrift old electronic items and take them apart

world build a fantasy universe

melt an ice cube in your hands

go to an art museum and try to guess the meaning behind pieces

lay down in a field and try to find shapes and clouds

unlock new locations to yearn in

stare at a candlelight for hours and just think

enter imaginary portals through woods

befriend a crow

follow a cat or a bird around to see where you end up

lie in your journal

thrift or make small dollhouse furniture

start collecting something (stamps, buttons, stickers, or trinkets)

make a trinket dish from clay

watch a YouTube video or listen to a podcast about a topic that interests you and take notes in your journal

go to places alone until you meet somebody naturally

make clay houses for fairies

make charms from clay

go to a graveyard and find your birthday

make ocs, their lore, relationships to each other and personality

ask your classmates for homework answers and analyse handwriting

design emojis for emotions you’ve felt but couldn’t explain

start a philosophy club with your imaginary friends

learn or make a new language

find an unpopular band and research fun facts about it

go out and collect junk for junk journaling

go out and find a place that you would like to live in if you were a fairy

solve/make sudokus

find your old journals and read through them

build or plan out a treehouse

make specific and really random playlists

meditate

make your own paints from natural ingredients

draw your childhood plushie as a person

buy an old painting from a thrift store and restore it/add your own touches

grab a couple of things from around your house, pose them together and draw or paint them

try to capture an emotion by painting or drawing it or make up a totally new emotion

do a study or research project on another artist

draw something that challenges you until you’re fine with the end result

re-create an old painting

write your own fairytale

draw carpets

design movie posters

personalise everything you own

go to an antique store and contemplate the forgotten history behind every object

try to capture a scene from your dream

watch I believe in unicorns (movie)

try shifting

make an altoid wallet room for your calico critter

make a pinterest board for your future home inspo

paint squidward

write a poem about pomegranate

thrift old magazines, cut out letters as well as cute pictures and make a collage

rank studio ghibli worlds you would live in

make statues from foil or clay

mini research projects

thrift flip ties

freeze random things

draw your non dominant hand from different angles

do makeup inspired by random pictures

write an essay about why fairies and unicorns are real

have a deep conversation with your mom

make up a movie plot, design posters and print them out then leave them around town

watch “poor little rich girl”

world build your own planet with all kinds of different creatures and lore

have a pinterest board called “pinterest bag” and save anything you want in there

make ocs (find pictures/draw them, make their personality and lore)

make a trinket box from a matchbox

write an assay about a life lesson

go for a walk with a mug of tea or a bowl of cereal

create new words for emotions or feelings you’ve felt but couldn’t explain

learn to insult people poetically

research black holes

guided meditations

go to an amusement park just to scream

make up your own typology system

attempt to break a random world record

pierce your house plants

search up philosophical questions and answer them or even make up your own

draw yourself as an angel

make nature potions with lake water sand grass rocks etc

find a secret hangout

get into spirituality

try to lucid dream or research other peoples lucid dreaming stories

go for a walk after rain and collect snails

manifest

make a new mythical creature

worldbuild an imaginary universe/planet

organise beads

try to draw scenes from your dreams

watch old disney movies

start a new religion

find shapes in clouds

build a hangout for fairies

make a trinket shelf from clay

glass art

paint on spoons and forks

make duct tape wallets

decorate your wired headphones

make a becklace from rings

newspaper art

make stamps from erasers

make clay picture frames

make earrings from random items (q-tips)

make a fabric sketchbook

make keychains from bottle caps

make 3D collages from paper

make an altoid wallet candle

make a mini version of your room

recycle your old clothes

make paper stars

research paradoxes

try lucid dreaming meditations

argue with your plushies about the philosophical takes/views you gave them

like a candle and stare at it until you get an idea

fake journaling (make up a persona and journal as if you wear them, make up situations that happened)

buy cat food to hold in your purse at all times in case you see a stray cat

make jam and decorate the jars (bonus points if you gift it to your grandma)

research the deeper meaning behind childrens cartoons

craft a doll, take it to cute places and have photoshoots

write down the longest midwest emo song titles you can find

watch or make a video essay

thrift old magazines, cut out the coolest things and make collages

stare at your own reflection for hours

go for a walk but you can only go back once you’ve complimented five people

decorate your bag with diy patches

try something you think you’re not gonna like and write about whether you liked it or not in your journal

make a spacehey profile

design new posters for your favourite movies

nap on a med of moss and be observed back into earth

sing your favourite songs to your cat in cat langauge

telepathically send people dreams

walk around town and perform fake plays in front of security cameras

create fake evidence suggesting you went on an adventure that you never really went on

paint all of your toe nails different colours

open your window and breathe in the fresh air, absorbing the world around you

shower without any lights or music

design and build a new musical instrument

when out of inspiration, take your journal and a camera, go on a walk and take pictures/write down anything that inspires you

stick quotes/poems around town

drink tea outside after it rained

play a movie on mute and improvise the dialogue

with a camera and a pair of boots, make a photo log of a day in the life of an invisible man

learn morse code

make a “my five stages of grief” playlist

write a love letter to your favourite season, seal it in an envelope and tuck it into a book you only read during that season

as you go for a walk discreetly scatter wildflower seeds along your path. imagine how in the future a small patch of flowers might bloom unexpectedly because of you

build a tiny altar to your daydreams. find a small shelf or corner, decorate it with objects that represent your wildest dreams and fantasies (crystals, feathers, dried flowers, trinkets)

have an indoor picnic. lay out a blanket in your living room at midnight, make yourself a snack and read poetry by the candlelight

use your feelings as inspiration to draw a whimsical map, labelling places like “the valley of nostalgia” or “the Hills of quiet contentment”

have a tiny art show at home, create a few tiny pieces of art like drawings, sculptures or crafts (no bigger than a coin) set them up in a small display area

host a tiny funeral for a habit you’re ready to let go off. write a short eulogy, light a candle, say your goodbyes and thank it for serving you in the past before letting it go

get a jar and each day add a small object or note that represents your mood (like a shiny bead for happiness and a cloudy pebble for sadness) watch your jar change as your life does

write a letter, seal it in a glass bottle and send it into the ocean

write a poem with words found in your junk drawer. dig through your junk drawer, pull out random items and let each object serve as a prompt

leave a small secret gift for a stranger. wrap a tiny object (like a pressed flower, a kind note or a little charm) and leave it somewhere in public for someone to find (a park bench, a library book, a bus seat)

find a beautiful rock, paint a face on it, carry it around for a week, taking pictures of the adventures you went on together

bake a single cupcake or tiny cake just for yourself, decorate it, light a candle and make a wish

go for a walk and pretend you’re on a quest. imagine you’re searching for a magical object or solving a mystical riddle as you wonder, narrate your journey

make a playlist for an imaginary creature

write a thank you note to an inanimate object (like your favourite mug or pen)

put together a time capsule for a fairy (add buttons, crystals, dried flowers, pearls, trinkets, glitter, a poem) and bury it or hide it in a nook of a tree

go for a walk with a glass jar and fill it with tiny magical items you find along the way, go every day until it’s full

invent something absurd and useless, like an umbrella warmer or a toast unbutterer

take a colouring book and break the “rules” (colour outside of the lines, make the sky green)

create a tiny world in a jar (put in moss, stones, crystals, water etc)

make and decorate a dollhouse to leave it in your garden for a fairy

craft a magic wand

make a trinket necklace

make a memory box

start collecting dead bugs

make drinks that look like potions and have a stargazing picnic while drinking them

write postcards to imaginary places like a floating city or a forest made of glass

build a bug hotel or bird house

try stole balancing

carve a candle

create your own tea blend using herbs, flowers and spices

write penpal letters to an imaginary friend (a fairy, mermaid or unicorn) make up an ongoing story thats happening across multiple letters

try to mix a new colour and name it

instead of walking or running, go skipping

research ways the world could end

look for bones in a forest, near a road or river

write a fake history for a mundane object like a spoon

invent new words for oddly specific feelings you’ve felt

create a tiny menu for an imaginary restaurant

attempt to do something so random that it might be the first time someone ever did it

make an all about me page (include style, hobbies, kins, pride flag, pronouns, age, a quote)

make a pinterest board for your younger self. pin things that they would have liked

make snow animals on trees

play dress up while watching a dress up video on YouTube

research where random memes started and where they came from

think of whimsical questions to debate (are clouds better than pillows? are sandwiches tiny beds for ingredients?)

decorate your shoes

gather old hats, decorate them wildly and exchange them with your friends. invent backstories for their previous owners

paint rocks with faces, name them and set up an adoption agency for friends to adopt

decide on your halloween costume and start collecting everything you need for it already

turn a corner in your room into a museum with weird exhibits like hair from a unicorn or a rock that can talk

rewatch your childhood favourite movies and cartoons

try a new hobby every day for a week straight and vlog it

create a secret handshake for yourself

invent a new holiday and celebrate it

have a secret handshake with the moon and do it every time you spot her

write your favourite word in your journal in as many fonts as you can invent

set reminders for random times, writing down little rewards that future you can give herself

make a “this reminds me of me” pinterest board or journal page

make your own tarot cards

write a love letter to yourself

go on a winter run (run through the snow, throw snowballs at trees, make snowangels, dance around the dark streets)

write an essay or journal page about why you would choose happiness over money or money over happiness

ask the universe a question and shuffle your playlist to see what it has to say

listen to every song called sleep walk and rank them

instead of bedrotting try treerotting

draw other people artworks in your style

try to create an organism inside of a bottle or bowl

make a music video (lizzy grant style)

try to create a new dimention or perspective by drawing it

start writing down if you notice any changes in your life or other people around full moons

start taking dice with you everywhere to help you make decisions (even numbers mean yes and uneven numbers mean no)

make your own eyeshadow palette (with pictures from pinterest) and name the eyeshadows

try to think of a feeling youve felt but couldnt explain then give it a name, make a playlist specific to that feeling and write a poem about it

make a playlist just for staring at the moon at night and make it a routine to listen to it everyday

try to remember things you used to enjoy as a child to experience them again (movies, songs, hobbies, toys, etc)

watch a video on a topic of your choice and take notes while drawing the person in the video

stare at an empty journal page until you get an idea. dont stop until its filled

make an intro for yourself (a minute long clip introducing you, add a song you like behind it)

make a pocket shrine

deeply analyse and overexplain something in your journal

go to a bookstore and let your intuition guide you to a book/ask a cool-looking person for a recommendation

grow plants in tea cups

start a tumblr blog

#thought daughter #hobbies #activity #outdoor activities #whimsy #whimsical

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biblicallyaccuratebrainrot · 3 months ago

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Genuine

Gravity Falls x Male!Reader (platonic)

You opened up shop in Gravity Falls to sell your assortment of odd and strange items! It seems your genuine items of weird are overshadowed by the fake and plastic items of The Mystery Shack, sparking a competition between you and old man Stan Pines.

CW: Bickering, name-calling, not proof-read

"This is a hack!" "What a sham!" "It doesn't even look real!"

These words had an impact when you first opened up shop. Now, those words were the norm. You scoffed and rolled your eyes as the people insulted you, your products, and then left. You had the occasional pleasant interaction.

The occasional purchase. Those few times a regular supernatural believer came in to buy something were enough for you to want to keep the shop open. You didn't have employees, you didn't have a mortgage, and you didn't have a lot of expenses.

Most of all, there was one man you stayed open for. Mostly out of spite. "Stan Pines," you grumble at the old man in front of you in line. "Buying more glue and tape to put your fake product together?"

Stan turned around and stared with a blank look. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Seriously?" You scoff. "We've met several times over the past 30 years-- stop pretending you don't know me,"

"Oh!" Stan laughed. "You're the weirdo with the weirdo shop down weirdo lane,"

"Real mature," you comment sarcastically. "With a personality like that, it's no wonder people flock to your Mystery Hack,"

"Yeah, maybe you should take some notes," Stan taunted. "I could show you how to get actual customers-- but it'll cost ya... five-- no, ten bucks,"

"I may be the weirdo but you're demented,"

"Demented and making money,"

You nod. "I hate you,"

"Get in line," Stan chuckled. "You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last,"

"Can you say the same about making friends?"

Stan opened his mouth and furrowed his brows aggressively. "Next!" The cashier interrupted.

Stan grumbled and placed his items on the belt. You smirk and place your items behind his. Another battle won.

It wasn't a goal to put the Man of Mystery out of business. All you wanted was to do better than him, really. It didn't start out that way, though.

The door to your shop rung-- causing you to shoot up from your seat and crash into your counter to face the doors. You furrowed your brows and your eyes slowly looked down at the short figures that had entered.

"Uh? Are you kids lost? This isn't an arcade," you explain to the two.

"This is Mr. [Y/LN]'s Occult Shop, right?" The boy asked, looking around nervously.

You nod. "Yeah," you respond. "You two new? I never seen you around,"

"We're here for the summer!" The girl excitedly explained, a wild smile on her face. "Your shop is so cool!"

You chuckle. "Thanks,"

"We aren't really here to buy anything." The boy approached the counter, holding a tattered book. "We were wondering if you knew anything about this journal? I-- I found it in the woods and it's got a lot of weird stuff,"

He set the book on the counter. You stare at the emblem on the cover-- a six-fingered hand with a large '3' drawn in the centre. You hum and gently pick it up and examine it.

"I've never seen anything like it," you say. "It does document a lot of truth, it seems,"

You flipped through the pages, noting the familiar creatures. "You know about the weirdness in Gravity Falls?" The boy stared, wide-eyed.

You set the book down and laugh. "Look around, kid." You motion around your shop. "I sell most of the weirdness. And it's real! Unlike that junk at The Mystery Hack,"

"Hey!" The girl pulled herself up to the counter, a frown and furrowed brows now plastered to her face instead. "Our Grunkle runs that place!"

You squint. "Pines," you seethe. "Did your 'Grunkle' Stan Pines send you here? What is this, then, huh? You mockin' me?"

"No! No, no, no!" The boy waved his hands around. "I-I'm Dipper-- this is my sister, Mabel. Our Grunkle doesn't believe in any of this and I was really hoping you'd have answers,"

You continued your squinted stare. You placed your palms on the counter and released a deep sigh. "I'll lift the Pines Ban just for you two-- just this once!" You announced, holding a defiant finger up. "I can't tell you much about this journal. Dunno who wrote it or why-- I can tell you that most of the information in there is accurate,"

"We sort'a already found that out," Dipper explained.

"We fought gnomes!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Wow! You found out the hard way," you chuckled. "How did you find out about my shop? It's not really as grand as Stan's Mystery Shack,"

"Funny enough, it was Grunkle Stan who mentioned it," Dipper responded. "When we mentioned gnomes and weird Gravity Falls stuff, he told us we sounded as crazy as 'the weirdo who owns the weirdo shop down weirdo lane,'"

You groan. "That sounds about right,"

"How do you know our Grunkle Stan?" Mabel tilted her head as she asked.

You grumble. "It's a bit of a... story..."

○●○

I was fresh outta high school when I began collecting strange stuff. I hitched rides around the entire U.S., taking what I could find.

At first; it was just collecting-- no intention to sell at all. Then, I began trading. I had strange things that others wanted-- and, wouldn't you know it, they had something stranger I wanted.

I made all sorts of deals and trades. Finally, though, all my bags had been filled. I couldn't travel anymore with all that junk! So, I set up a small shop where I was; here! Gravity Falls, 1980. I believe I was... 20, at the time. It wasn't anything official-- I just needed to get rid of some of my things and make some money while I was at it. I fully intended on getting out the moment I could!

But then, I discovered the weirdness of Gravity Falls. It was everything someone like me could wish for! Not just strange items-- but strange beings as well! Strange places and strange people! I continued my trading within Gravity Falls and two years later, I officially opened up my shop!

That's when... Stanford Pines opened up his Murder Hut, or whatever he called it. He opened up his shop at the same time as mine! And he was getting more business than me! Oh! I was fuming! I-- I was, more rational back then, though.

Maybe, I was jumping to conclusions. Don't knock it till you try it! I went on over to that Shack and took a tour.

When I saw what he had, I couldn't help but ask; "Oh, you're running a tourist trap?"

He didn't let his facade drop for a second. "What? No! This is all real freaky stuff!" He responded joyfully. "I mean, just take a look at this!"

He held up a taxidermied badger body with a taxidermied mouse head sewn onto it. "Oh, right," I knew he didn't believe himself-- he knew I didn't believe him, either. "I-- I run my own shop about two miles from here. It's crazy, actually, we opened up on the same day!"

That's when he dropped his smile and the taxidermy amalgamation. "That occult shop? Here scopin' out the competition?" His cheer was gone from his voice. "Look, bub, I got important stuff to deal with. I don't need no occult freak here debunking all my work and takin' me outta business when I jus' got started,"

"I-- Oh, I don't intend on--,"

"--Get out,"

●○●

"And that's how I met Stan," you finished. "For the past 30 years, we've been competitors,"

"Wow," Dipper breathed out. "That... sounds exactly like how Grunkle Stan would react to your shop,"

"He's very unpleasant," you comment. "You guys aren't, though. Maybe there's hope for that old man if you guys stick around long enough,"

Mabel gave you a curious look when your words "that old man," came out of your mouth. "Well, how old are you?"

"Mabel!" Dipper harshly whispered.

"What! I'm just curious!"

You laugh. "You're bold, kid," you say, "I like it. I'm 52 this year,"

"Wow!" Mabel stared with wide eyes and mouth agape. "You look really young!"

"Kid, if you're trying get something free from me," you began, "it's working. You two are a pleasant change from ol' Gravity Falls. If you ever need anything for your weird adventures, you know where my shop is,"

"What sort of weird stuff do you sell here?" Dipper asked, peering around the shelves.

"Most of anything weird you can think of," you explain. "Live butterflies, demonic daggers, bidding boxes-- even got Dybbuk boxes,"

As Dipper and Mabel began to look around the shop, curious at the weird wonders your shelves held, the bell rang again at your door.

"Kids!" An unpleasant voice called out to the two. "What're ya doin' at this place?" Stan placed his hands on his hips while he stared down the kids.

"Ugh," you groan. "Mr. Pines, you know well enough you're not allowed within 100 feet of my shop!"

"My niece and nephew should know well enough they shouldn't be within 300 feet of this nut house!" Stan ushered the kids out before turning back to you. "Don't get these kids believin' a word of your nonsense! They shouldn't be anywhere near this,"

As he exited, you shouted. "It's not nonsense, Stan! I sell the real deals--!" The doors shut and you could now only watch the back of Stan lead Dipper and Mabel away from the shop. You clenched your fist and gritted your teeth. "He doesn't have a clue what he's saying,"

With their exit and your current frustrastions, you walked to your doors and locked them. You flipped your 'OPEN,' sign to instead display "CLOSED,' before pulling down your shutters and blocking the view of your shop.

"I liked him better when he acted sophisticated and smarter than everyone else,"

___

》 END

#gravity falls #fanfic #stanley pines #x reader #writing #dipper pines #mabel pines #x m!reader #x male!reader #the intricate #platonic

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kinardsevan · 7 months ago

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scribbles and snippets

There was something about it all that he didn’t have words to piece together to explain it yet.

Something about that first morning, flying back to the boat, sitting next to each other in the helicopter. The glances that had been exchanged, that he hadn’t pieced together yet. And the moment—because it was a moment—that had passed between them when he’d put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder on the boat. A shared glance with no words that also held a mountain of subtext inside of it.

The way Tommy had looked at him at Harbor during that afternoon tour, both of them searching a minefield, not knowing what they’d find on the other side, or what any of it meant. The way he’d been open to sharing his own jealousies when Evan admitted his own issues when feeling left out. And then oh god, the way it felt when Tommy had taken the leap and kissed him. It was both the way he hadn’t expected it at all, and yet the way he had so desperately needed it without ever knowing it.

It was the “so that was okay?” and the “so I guess it’s just me that makes you nervous”. It was the second kiss—the one that happened inside his apartment before the first date had fallen on it’s face, because he’d spent days thinking about what it would be like to kiss Tommy again.

It was the need to make that happen again, no matter the cost. The fact that when he told Tommy he wanted to leap hurdles into a relationship with him, Tommy didn’t even blink. The way he showed up to Maddie and Chimney’s wedding after coming off a nearly 24-hour shift fighting a forest fire and, still in his turnouts, and not only had a good time but didn’t complain about it, didn’t make it a hardship.

It was the first time he answered the phone at three AM when Evan woke up from a thunderstorm and he was on shift, but he still talked him down from the anxiety attack.

It was how, two weeks later during a date night when another storm hit, he’d stood in the kitchen and just hugged Evan as he trembled with each crack of lightning until the worst of the storm had passed.

It was the way Tommy had made their first time together a safe place, constantly checking in and making sure that it was okay to continue, that Evan felt safe. The way he consistently told Evan there was no pressure for things to happen one way or another.

It was every single kiss hello and goodbye, and the way Tommy’s fingers always found him in the dark, pulled him in and kept him safe. It was the love that still hadn’t been acknowledged out loud but was still always present in Tommy’s eyes.

The truth was, Evan wasn’t sure he would ever have the words to piece together what all of that meant to him. He could try, might even find some semblance of a version that could get close, but he was also pretty positive that part of the issue was that the words he needed didn’t actually exist. Still, that wouldn’t stop him from trying to find them.

. . .

“What’s this?”

It’s not an anniversary. They don’t have any special plans. It wasn’t even intended to be a major thing. And yet.

Tommy looks over at him quizzically as he reaches into the gift bag, pulls out a leather-bound book that’s been art and junk journaled through already. Still, as he opens it up, there’s more than just scraps, washi tape, and things of the like inside it. As he flips further through, he realizes there are writings inside the book. Some handwritten, some printed.

“Just something I’ve been working on,” Evan tells him, watching apprehensively as Tommy flips through the pages. He pauses on one of the pages covered in handwritten scrawl, inhales a stuttered breath at the words.

i saw you across a room. i saw you you in the dark. fathomed a world in which our atoms met underneath the same stars.

Tommy looks up at him for a moment, words lost in his throat before his focus is back on the book. He thumbs through a few more pages, lands on another one with handwritten words. Evan gulps as his eyes fall onto the page. It’s his handwriting, his words.

somewhere in between stars and galaxies you saw the forest from the trees and understood things I couldn’t even see

like twinkling lights in the midnight sky every time you laugh, that look in your eyes somehow you managed to take me by surprise

you’ve seen places I haven’t been and can soften the edges defined by darkness with the asteroids in your eyes

I tried to lose my demons in Jupiter’s hurricane but you stood right there telling me to fight for more

and you felt like Halle’s comet one in a million, don’t fit into anything but I’d tell you, you definitely fit here even if it’s just with me

and comets crash all the time that’s what you said one night they burn out in ash and lose their light but I told you, you’d never be out of sight

whether you’re in Jupiter’s hurricane or out on Saturn’s rings zooming through the night on Halle’s comet or sitting here talking to me

I can see the galaxies in your eyes and I promise, they’re not lost on me

“I um…I kept trying to figure out how-how to put it into words,” Evan stammers. “And nothing ever felt right. So I kinda started looking at other people’s, and writing things down.”

Tommy shakes his head, still wordless as he looks back and forth between Evan and the words on the page. He keeps opening and closing his mouth like he might have the words, only to lose them before they actually make it out.

He sets the book down after a moment and turns fully to face Evan, hands sliding up the blonde’s face before he pulls him in to an open-mouthed kiss, his tongue finding Evan’s instantly. Evan leans into him, hands roaming the expanse of Tommy’s chest until oxygen forces them to break apart.

Tommy inhales a few deep breaths, pressing his forehead into the younger man’s.

“The amount of thought, and attention put into that book,” Tommy rasps. He squeezes a fistful of Evan’s hair, lets out a long breath. “It’s more than anyone has ever taken the time to do.” He leans back then so that they can see each other clearly. “You don’t have to find perfect words, Evan. You already have them.”

#bucktommy #mini fic #original poetry #my writing #tevan #kinley #firepilot #firebeast

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paperw0rmz · 2 years ago

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Old journal pages Ft old watch that broke :’(

#journal #journal spread #journal page #junk journal #journal pages #journaling #journal addicted #physical journal #journal flip through #scrapbook journal #grunge journal

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kiacreates · 2 months ago

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Christmas journal flip through! Nostalgic inspo from my first ever Winter Journal Challenge ❄

I've never shared a flip through of my winter journals before and it's time to change that! We're kicking off five years' worth of festive flip throughs with an exploration of this; my first ever Winter Journal Challenge journal - a cute, handmade little creation from back in 2019🎄

I hope it brings you nostalgia and some Christmassy journaling inspiration, there's plenty more to come, so watch this space! ✨

#christmas journal #junk journal #flip through #journals #journaling #art journal #journal #creative journaling #winter journal challenge #winter journal

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absolutewhore101 · 1 year ago

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Better Man - Chapter 5

A/N: here's chapter 5! taglist is being updated with every post, so lmk if you want to be added/removed. i'm looking to do updates every monday, so stay tuned :)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Summary: Listen to 'Better Man' by Taylor Swift; Stage 3 - bargaining (kind of)

Warnings: swearing, Joel

Word Count: 1.4K

Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

This is a journal entry.

MINORS DNI

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The stairs leading up to your bedroom had never felt so tiresome, but you were dragging yourself up by the time you reached the top.

That fight never should have happened. Carly never should’ve happened. Joel never should have happened. All you needed was the reassurance that you did the right thing, but who could you even go to?

You were sure that the people you’d come to call friends almost certainly knew about Joel, and none of them had told you.

You couldn’t talk to Tommy, that much was obvious. You thought about talking to Ellie, but even if she did know, this wasn’t her problem.

Was it only you? Were you truly the last person to know?

You sat down on the edge of your bed, staring at the wall in front of you. Your thoughts were running a mile a minute, all of them focused on Joel.

How could he have done this? There was nothing you could’ve done to stop him once he started, but wasn’t there something you could’ve done to prevent it?

Why weren’t you enough?

A tear dropped off the bottom of your chin, landing delicately on your hand.

You reached into your nightstand, pulling out the notebook you’d had for a few months. That journal was the only thing you felt truly comfortable sharing everything with after you found out about Joel.

You fished around for a pen, but came up empty. Walking past Ellie’s room, you peeked in, finding her gone.

You shook your head, assuming she had never come home in the first place, as you made your way downstairs.

Walking into the kitchen felt more painful than it should’ve - Joel’s coffee mug was on the counter, rings stained around the inside of it. The book he’d been reading left on the table, bookmarked to the page he'd left off on.

You walked past all of it and went to the junk drawer, grabbing a pen and heading into the living room.

You sat down on the couch, pulling your feet up underneath you, and started writing.

I know…

You paused.

What did you know?

I know that I’m probably better off on my own. Better off than loving a man who didn’t know what he had when he had it.

You wiped your face, willing your bottom lip to stop trembling.

You flipped back through the pages you’d already written in, rereading the words you’d spilled when you started to suspect Joel was cheating on you.

It was easy to see the permanent damage that he’d done to you. You weren’t sure you’d ever find love in the world after it ended, and you were certain you’d never find it again.

And then you flipped back even further, back to the hearts and doodles and the love you’d needed so badly to get out.

Why couldn’t you just forget when it was magic? When everything was okay?

There were so many thoughts swirling around in your mind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to put them on paper. Instead, you placed your journal on the coffee table and went back upstairs, heading straight to the bathroom.

You splashed some water on your face, hoping to rid yourself of the redness that occupied your cheeks.

“You know you had to do it.” You muttered.

God, why did it have to be like this? You used to be curled up in bed with Joel by this point, whispering sweet words to each other until you fell asleep.

Now, it was the middle of the night, and you were trying to convince yourself that the bravest thing you’ve ever done in this fucked up world was run.

From Joel and everything he signified now. From Tommy and the sympathy that could only go so far. From all of Jackson, and the inevitable stares that you were expecting.

You walked back into your bedroom, pulling back the covers and laying down.

“I just miss you.” You whispered into the dark. “But I just wish you were a better man.”

—---------

When you woke up, you found yourself reaching for his side of the bed, only to find it empty.

The events of last night came rushing back to you, and you couldn’t stop the tears that welled in your eyes.

You got out of bed, trudging down the hallway and back downstairs. You didn’t have the appetite for breakfast, but you suddenly found the inspiration to write.

Your journal felt heavier than it ever had before, and you knew it was the weight of the words you’d written last night. You couldn’t help but wonder how much heavier it’d feel in a few days, and if it would ever feel so light again.

I know that I’m probably better off all alone. I don’t need a man who can change his mind at any given minute.

And suddenly, the sadness you had felt just last night had morphed into anger.

And it was always on his terms! I waited on every word that came out of his mouth, hoping they’d turn sweet again… like they were in the beginning.

The jealousy that he had for you that you were never able to place popped into your mind.

He’d always been jealous of the love you were able to so freely give - he’d said so himself one night. He didn’t understand how you could love him so unconditionally, could love the world so openly.

Was that when he started talking down to you? When he realized that he’d never be good enough for you?

He talked to you like he knew you’d always be around, and maybe you would’ve. Maybe you would’ve stayed with him if he talked to you like that - pushing your love away like it was some kind of loaded gun.

But you couldn’t be the third person in your relationship. You should’ve been the first, and Joel just didn’t seem to get that.

And he never thought you’d run.

You looked out the window, seeing a crowd of people gathering in the middle of town. You stood up, trying to get a better view of what was happening.

All of a sudden, laughter sounded, loud enough that you could hear it inside your house.

Curiosity got the best of you, so you opened your door, walking out onto your porch.

You could finally see what everyone was crowded around - Joel.

“I’m shocked you survived!” Someone yelled.

“Yeah, looks like it did a number on you!”

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out what they were talking about. Had he gone on a run this morning? Had an infected gotten too close?

Tommy walked around the crowd, eyes locked on you. You wanted to turn around and go back inside, locking the door behind you, but something kept you rooted in your spot.

“What’s going on?” You asked him once he was close enough to hear you.

Tommy shook his head, gesturing you to go back inside.

You were ready to protest, to tell him he had no right to step foot in your house, but he spoke before you could.

“Please. They don’t need to see this.”

You followed him inside, shutting the door behind you as Tommy turned to face you.

“What were they talking about?” You said, anxiety creeping into you.

Tommy hesitated before he answered.

“You.”

“Me?” You asked.

He nodded. “You, Joel… last night. Word got around pretty fast that he’d moved in with Carly and people came knocking.”

You felt nauseous. The town you lived in, the people you once called friends, were celebrating that Joel was finally free of you. And he was loving it.

Your knees buckled, but Tommy caught you before you could hit the floor, helping you walk over to the couch.

“This can’t be real.” You muttered, looking up at him.

His lips drew into a thin line. “I’m afraid it is.”

Your eyes closed, head tipping back to rest against the back of the couch.

If Joel was a better man, this wouldn’t be happening.

If Joel was a better man, you’d still be in love.

“Tommy?” You said.

“Yeah.” He responded.

“I know why I had to say goodbye to Joel like the back of my hand, but why couldn’t he just be a better man?”

Tommy’s jaw clenched, head swimming as he thought about what Joel had put you through, and how he hadn’t done anything to stop it.

“I don’t know.”

That was the last thing he said before he walked out of your house, gently closing the door behind him.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there on the couch, tears falling down your cheeks, before you picked your journal back up.

He would’ve been the one if he was a better man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tell me your thoughts! Thank you for reading :)

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#joel miller #pedro pascal #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x reader #x reader #tlou x reader #tommy miller #ellie williams #pedro pascal x reader #taylor swift title series #Spotify

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