#juni speech

[zroteen]

Objectified is all i think about besides bfdi help

[junipaca]

Staring at Pokémon kieran in wonder this is the first power hungry kid I’ve seen since a long time . Anime hair tie and everything

[luveline]

Mothers day lil fic with eddie x reader from june baby? 👉🏻👈🏻

mom!reader, 1.5k “Big stretch!”

You hold your arms above your head, stretching as tall as you can go. Your t-shirt rises and exposes the soft stretch of your tummy, stretch marks decorating your skin and lightened in the sun as you lean to your left side.

“Okay, now we count. One, two…”

“Three,” Junie says. “Five, six, seven.”

“You forgot four, babe. Let’s try again, okay?” You stretch to your right side. “One, two, three…”

“Five, six, four–”

You giggle. Junie, who wasn’t doing a very good job at copying your yoga poses to begin with, hears you laughing and drops her short arms to her sides. “Tummy!” she says, jumping forward to push her hand into your stomach.

“I’m telling Eddie you did that. So nasty.” You drop your arms.

“Tummy,” she says again, poking at your belly button.

You catch her hands in yours and level her with a feigned glare. “What are you trying to say about my tummy?”

She beams. It’s lovely to have a little baby that looks like you. Her joy is yours, her smile made up of your lips and teeth. She’s a mirror, and you could never not think she was gorgeous —it makes you gorgeous too.

“Guess we’re done stretching?” you ask.

She lifts her hands to your sides, a gesture to be grabbed. You lean down to collect her and drag her up for a hug, holding her low at the back to encourage face to face time. “What, you’re not talking to me?” you ask warmly.

She touches your neck.

“I know,” you say. You’re pretty sure you get it.

Outside, tires roll across grass and road alike. You listen for the whine of Eddie’s van as it parks, grinning all over again when it comes. He’s not supposed to see you today, it’s Sunday, he has too much stuff to do.

If he’s outside, it means he swapped his shifts again or called out, which means he’s gonna give you one of his speeches about being sickly sweet in love with you. You can pretend you don’t like them as much as you want, but there’s no better feeling than being loved like you’re something special.

You open the door before he can, and he needs it, anyhow. To your confusion, he’s carrying a cellophane wrapped bouquet made up of a hundred different colours and a white box in the other, arms full and naked, no jacket to hide from the early summer sun. Your eyes widen as he gets to the steps. He looks like he made an effort to see you (and it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t always, you love him as he is, but you can’t help asking yourself why).

“What’s going on?” you ask.

Eddie smiles. “What do you mean?”

“What’s the stuff for?” There’s a bag hanging from his elbow.

“This stuff?” he asks, cresting the last step.

“Hi,” Junie says.

“Hi, babe.”

“Hi.” She reaches for the flowers. “Pretty.”

“You think so? I got them for your mommy but I’m sure she’ll share them with you.”

You’re nonplussed as he moves in to kiss your cheek and skirt around you. “Come on. This stuff’s heavy,” he says, the cellophane crunching against his chest as he squeezes past you into your home.

“Eddie, what is that stuff?”

“You don’t know what day it is today?”

You think about it for a second at least. “No?”

It’s not your birthday, not Junie’s. You and Eddie can’t have made it to your first anniversary already, but perhaps six months? You try to do the maths in your head. Eddie puts the white box on your kitchen table, the bag on Junie’s high chair, and the flowers by the sink.

“You really don’t know, do you?” he asks, some sympathy in play.

“Eddie, we did stretches!” Junie says from your arms.

You offer her to him. He wraps her up and makes it look easy, baby on his hip. Quick kiss pressed to her cheek. “Yeah? Mom’s got you doing yoga again?”

You’re drawn to the box like a magnet.

“What is it?” you ask.

“It’s for you, babe,” he says easily, smiling as Junie tucks a curl behind his ear. “It’s all for you. You can open it.”

“You sure?”

“Of course I am. Open it up.”

You take the box’s lid off, lips parting in surprise. Happy Mother’s Day has been written in white writing against a baby pink cake. It’s simple, without frills, but it’s sweet and it looks soft to the touch.

“Is it today?” you ask.

“Yeah, babe. I can’t believe you didn’t know.” Eddie shifts Junie forward to stop her from tangling his hair. “That’s a lie, I totally can. Quick, come here.”

You slot into his side, expecting the kiss, but not the second one against the apple of your cheek. “Happy Mother’s Day. I would’ve been here sooner, but I had to make sure my mom knew I was thinking about her first.” He taps your noses together before pulling away. “You’re the best mom ever, so. Me and June got you some presents. No biggie.”

“Junie got me this?”

“Who do you think wrote on the cake?”

Eddie pretends to eat Junie’s hand, to her delight. You feel the cardboard of your box between your fingers, no attempt made to hide the achingly huge smile that’s taking shape. “And the bags for me too?” you ask.

Eddie can hear it in your voice. “The bag’s for you too, of course. You're the mother.” He snarfs against Junie’s wrist. “Um-num-num.”

You drag the bag from Junie’s blue and orange high chair across the table to peek inside. It’s a flat, paper bag from a clothing store, so the contents surprise you for being much more than clothes. Your smile gets worse with each item unveiled from its tissue paper depths: a humble box of fancy chocolates, a bag of your favourite chips, a small black box and a pair of pyjamas wrapped together with a ribbon.

You hesitate with the box, hand atop it, head tilting toward your shoulder. Eddie doesn’t notice your hesitation, or at least he’s pretending not to, pretending to nibble Junie’s sleeve where she’s laughing it up in his arms.

“What’s in the box?”

He looks up quickly. Not pretending. “Oh, that’s– If you don’t like it, I can take it back. It’s nothing crazy.”

“You’re proposing.” The box is shaped for a bracelet or necklace rather than a ring.

He nods severely. “Will you do me the honour?”

You laugh softly and line your thumb to the box’s seam. It opens on a tense hinge, clicking into place.

It’s a bracelet made up of silver beads. There’s a small flat-circle charm between the beads, that, upon closer inspection, harbours two hearts, one bigger than the other.

“It’s nothing fancy, okay? So if it breaks you won’t feel bad. It’s real silver though, you don’t have to take it off much if you don’t want to. I don’t know. I think it’s, like, a reminder of her when you’re not together.” Junie whines, encouraging Eddie to press another peck to her cheek as he hugs her tighter, and takes a step closer to you. “If you don’t like it, it’s really fine.”

You slip the bracelet onto your wrist. It goes without saying you’ve never had much jewellery.

Taking his face into your hands is easy. Holding him tenderly is second nature. “Thank you,” you say, eye to eye, willing it to sink in deeply. “I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you, too. And Junie loves you more than anybody. You deserve to know that.”

“I do,” you say, glad when he puckers up for a kiss. You kiss his pouting lips misaligned to nobody’s worry, adding another for thankfulness, and a third just because. He’s smirking before you’ve so much as pulled away.

“And thank you!” you add saccharinely, stroking Junie’s cheek, though the idea that she had anything to do with your gifts is funny. “I wouldn’t get to be a mommy if it wasn’t for you. I love you.”

“Love you,” Junie says distractedly, more interested by the stud earring in Eddie’s lobe.

He gives you both a soft, soft look, startlingly yards away from his previous smirking. “You’re the best girls in the world.”

“You're the best boyfriend.” You curve an arm around him to steal him and press your face into his arm. “I love you,” you say, smushed. “Thank you so much for everything. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he says.

“I really love you.”

“Yeah,” he says, his nose touching your head as he cranes his head down to you. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I love you too. You deserve it, alright?”

Junie pats your head. “Love love love you. Kiss?”

She almost blinds you trying to kiss you in the eye as you turn your face toward her, but it’s nice.

[silcoitus]

How did I end up with such amazing friends through mutual brainrot of one fictional man? I had started the process of commissioning @eriochromatic for art of a scene from the last chapter of TMSA, but unfortunately had to back out of it for personal reasons.

Then @juniper-sunny swooped in, paid for it, and had it finished for me!!!???!?!! I cannot thank you enough, Juni! You are one of the kindest souls I have had the pleasure to come to know. I hope one day I can hang out with you irl. And Erio, as always, you blew this out of the park. Look at how regal and victorious my man is 🥺🥺🥺

Children of Zaun!

By now, word has spread of the events of tonight. I am here to say—definitively, without question—you are free!

They did not give you your freedom! You! You, brothers and sisters, you took your freedom! You fought and slaved over it. Through blood, sweat, and tears, you lifted Piltover’s boot off your face and said in one unified voice ‘No! We will not take this anymore!’

All those years—those decades—of waiting, and planning, and hoping. It all came to this.

Let us take a moment to reflect on those who could not be with us tonight in our journey, but whose shoulders we proudly stand on.

Revel in the victory. It is your victory. But come tomorrow, the real work begins. Let us show all of Runeterra who we are. Show them all…

The Nation of Zaun!

— Silco's victory speech on the bridge, The Mad Scientist's Assistant, chapter 29

[acid-ixx]

helloo i was just wondering which comic the jason u write in a&a is based off of 🫰love your works so much 😛

answering this to also promote this hehe

basically, i've read utrh (under the read hood) but didn't finish it by the end, and a lot of robin! jason comics (that i couldn't really list them all down, sorry 😭 but it was his pre-death panels because he's real precious). i'm also fond of the movie version more than the comics (i find him having a relationship with talia absolutely repulsive) especially the speech with bruce.

i also deeply recommend juni ba's run where his relationship with damian was expounded, and how he'd cope with the trauma post-death is just chef's kiss. otherwise, lots of comics i've read with jason just don't hit right w/ me ngl. i mostly do my own interpretations so there's parts where it may seem ooc since i focus primarily on yandere tropes, but i also love reading au's where he's lived with the al ghul's long enough to help raise damian hehe

[theswordwrites]

PART THREE (the alchemy)

Juniper Greyson signs a contract, putting her into a PR relationship with Aemond Targaryen.

tw: nothing crazy, lowkey power imbalance, my sweet junie girl :(

word count: 2.4k

PART THREE

Juniper Greyson considered herself a rational person. She loved to make lists: pros and cons, to-do’s, her favorite things. But as she walked up the steps to Aemond Targaryen’s townhouse, she felt anything but.

She hadn’t told her friends—hadn’t told anyone—what Aemond had offered her. Edith and Arianne believed that he would simply deny the rumors, and the media storm would blow over as quickly as it had begun. June figured there’d be a nondisclosure agreement buried somewhere in the contract, so she hadn’t yet thought much about how she would explain things to them when more photos, more headlines, and more attention inevitably followed. Her borrowed time of anonymity wouldn’t last long.

Aemond, ever calculated and cunning, would surely coach her on what to say when that moment came.

The night before, she’d done her research. It was only smart to be prepared, though clearly, Aemond had one-upped her on that front from the start. She’d spent hours scrolling through his campaign footage, galvanizing speeches, and a mountain of articles on the infamous rift between his family.

When his father was ousted from his seat as Prime Minister, Viserys urged his advisors to consider his daughter as the next face of the party. Westerosi men being… well, men denied his wishes. Claiming that Rhaenrya, despite her law degree and experience as a legal aid, was too inexperienced to run for office. She was cast aside for her uncle, Daemon Targaryen. While he had the experience and the prowess, his ideology created a rift between within the Black party. Viserys’ closest aides left in protest, throwing their support behind the emerging Green party—promising fresh ideas and a better future for Westeros.

By then, Aemond had already earned two PhDs, completed a clerkship with the Westerosi courts, and championed multiple activism organizations across various causes. Politically, he was the perfect candidate. He was progressive enough to win over younger voters with promises of change but aristocratic enough to appeal to the establishment that was disillusioned with the Blacks.

Personally, though, he had an image problem. Or rather, a lack of image issues. In every article, every video, every think piece, there was nothing about his personal life. No wife, no scandals, no hobbies—just politics. His brother Aegon, on the other hand, was a walking headline with a string of scandals, a modeling contract, and a very active Instagram page. His sister Helaena kept out of the limelight for the most part, choosing to advocate for environmental conservation and animal welfare on the coast.

June even tried to find out how he’d gotten the scar over his right eye but came up with nothing beyond a Reddit page full of wild theories. A boating accident, a fight with his cousin, a jilted lover.

The door opened, snapping her out of her thoughts. Aemond stood there, dressed in a knit sweater and jeans. It was the most relaxed she had ever seen him—normal, or at least as close to normal as the silver-haired, one-eyed Targaryen could be. In the daylight, she noticed the slight difference between his natural eye and the artificial one. The glass eye was a pale blue, missing the subtle violet undertone of the other. Again, she wondered what had happened to him.

“Hello, June,” he greeted her, his voice soft but focused. He gave her a once-over, a near-imperceptible smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Her pulse quickened. She had spent an hour hidden away from Arianne, agonizing over her outfit and rehearsing what to say. What does one wear to sign a contract for a fake relationship with one of the most well known men in Westeros?

She hadn’t the faintest idea, so she settled on a simple dress with a sweater layered over it. It seemed to pass his inspection as he nodded and stepped aside to let her in.

The last time she’d been here, she’d been too inebriated to appreciate the decor. But now, in the late afternoon light, she noticed the understated elegance of the townhouse—the art on the walls seemed more vibrant, the details more intentional. She chalked it up to her sobriety.

“Your home is beautiful," she managed, fingers fidgeting with the hem of her dress as she glanced around.

“Thank you,” Aemond replied, a hint of pride in his voice. “I’d like to take the credit, but my mother had a hand in it. I’m not one for all the pomp and frills.”

He walked ahead, leading her through the house with the grace that seemed intrinsic to him. In the kitchen, her eyes landed on a neat stack of papers on the pristine marble countertop—the contract, no doubt. Her stomach lurched at the sight of it.

Gods, am I really doing this? She thought to herself.

“Coffee?” Aemond asked, already reaching for two mugs.

“Yes, please.” She nodded, her words clipped and polite.

“You were much more talkative the night we met.” he remarked, a playful ghost of a smile tugging at his lips as he poured the coffee.

“Apologies,” she replied, mirroring his smile. “I couldn’t find an etiquette manual for how to interact with your fake-boyfriend whom you know nothing about.”

Aemond laughed, a soft, brief sound that broke through his usually stoic demeanor. She found she liked the sound of it.

“That’s fair,” he conceded, his tone losing some of its edge. “I know this must be—” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “—challenging and overwhelming. But I think we could be friends. Or at least come to some sort of understanding.”

“I would hope so, since we’ll be contractually obligated to spend time together.” Her tone was wry, but she softened slightly. “I think we could be friends. I could teach you about some of the art in the foyer. You have no idea the significance of the water lilies piece. It’s probably worth more than this house.”

“I’d like that,” he said, his gaze lingering on her. “I don’t have many friends—well, I have some. But I’ve always been the type to keep to myself.”

Aemond’s admission caught her by surprise, and she saw the slight tension in his posture. She felt a small pang of empathy for him, but that didn’t stop her curiosity from getting the better of her.

“Is that why there's nothing about your personal life? Anywhere?” The question left her mouth before she could stop it and she tugged her lip in between her teeth in embarrassment of her brashness.

He only raised an eyebrow at her, “Stalking me?”

“Please,” she quipped back with a grin. “I didn't tell you my name before you showed up at my apartment. How’d you manage that?”

“Aegon told me.” he admitted casually.

She nodded and he slid the contract towards her, along with the mug. Her nimble fingers thumbed through the pages, the headings leaping out at her.

I. DURATION

II. RULES

III. CONFIDENTIALITY

IV. COMPENSATION AND BENEFITS

V. TERMINATION

Each word seemed heavier than the last.

He began, “Duration-wise, I’d suggest at least until the election in four months. If we find the arrangement works, we could extend longer into the first part of my term. The termination clause allows us to end it whenever we see fit, with some stipulations, of course.”

June’s eyebrows arched slightly. “Stipulations?”

“If you decide to terminate,” Aemond explained, “you’d have to sign another confidentiality agreement stating that you won’t speak to the press. The benefits change with each month—my lawyer calls it an incentive to continue, but I think it’s fair for the time commitment.”

She only nodded, “And the rules?”

“We’d need to be seen together, obviously, sparingly and privately at first. But you’d be expected to attend campaign events, galas, public events eventually. We’d have to be seen on dates and with friends. Like a normal couple would. My publicist has worked out a schedule that will intensify as the months go on. Leading people to believe things are getting more and more serious.”

He continued, “We won’t be seen with other people. No secret hookups or affairs. No real intimacy between the two of us outside of the public eye. Hand holding, small touches would be appropriate but I’m not expecting you to snog me on the street.”

June’s eyes skimmed over the section marked RULES, but her focus stalled on a single phrase: intimacy in public. Her stomach twisted. She was expected to hold his hand, look at him like he was her boyfriend, touch him like it meant something.

Her breath hitched slightly, the pen momentarily forgotten in her hand. Could she even do that? Fake a relationship so convincingly that people wouldn’t see through it? The very idea of pretending to care—of pretending to feel something for someone she barely knew—made her chest tighten. And the idea of physical closeness… holding hands, even the suggestion of small touches, left her feeling exposed, like her skin was too thin. It wasn’t that she was completely inexperienced with relationships, but she wasn’t someone who offered affection easily. Intimacy wasn’t just about the physical act; it was the vulnerability it demanded.

She stared at the page, her heart hammering as a thousand doubts rushed in all at once. What if I can’t pull this off?

Aemond spoke about public appearances like they were part of a play, something to be rehearsed and executed. But June didn’t know if she could act. Would she be able to hold his hand, let alone lean into him for a picture, while pretending to be someone she wasn’t?

Her fingers traced the edge of the contract again. No real intimacy outside the public eye, it said. But even in public, the thought of being close to him—this man who seemed all edges and secrets—made her pulse quicken with a different kind of fear. Wouldn’t her body betray her, show the awkwardness, the discomfort? How could she look at Aemond like he was hers, when the very idea of such closeness made her stomach twist into knots?

She had spent years building walls around herself, carefully keeping others at a distance. Now, she was being asked to tear them down for the world to see, even if it was only pretend. She swallowed, the dread thick in her throat.

June’s eyes flickered down to the compensation section, and she paled at the figures listed. The sum was staggering, more than she had ever dreamed of. For that amount of money, she would hold his hand, touch him and let everyone think it was real.

Who would turn down that offer? An idiot. She thought. With that, her decision was finalized in her mind.

“This is really happening,” she said, her voice soft.

Then, she leaned against the counter, signing in swooping, cursive letters.

Juniper Greyson

“So, what’s next?” She slid the contract back to him, watching him repeat her motions and ink her name next to his.

“I’ll have my publicist send you our calendar. Any time there’s an outing, a car will pick you up or I will. I have a guest bedroom here, when it’s necessary and I can have my assistant buy any essentials you need while you’re here. Send him a list.” He pushed a business card toward her, their fingers brushing briefly. “We’ll start with something casual—a private dinner. The restaurant will leak photos afterward. Are you free tomorrow evening?”

She nodded.

“Any dietary restrictions?”

“No.”

“Well then, Juniper Greyson,” he said, a playful glint in his eye as he leaned forward slightly, “would you like to go on a date with me?”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The rest of June’s day and the next felt like a blur under the weight of what she had agreed to. A date. A full-blown fake relationship. A chance at a prestigious career. She hadn’t told anyone that she had seen Aemond, much less about their arrangement. The non disclosure agreement she signed was airtight, with a list of consequences so long she didn’t even think about breaking it.

She figured that she would tell Arianne, and the rest of her friends, before the date. June would play the coy, crushing fool and gush how Aemond had apologized for the photos and invited her to dinner as an apology. “He’s actually… sweet, you guys. More normal than I ever thought.” Practicing in the mirror felt stupid, laughable even, yet she found herself doing it anyway. It made the guilt creep in faster, overtaking the excitement she would never admit to feeling. She hadn’t been on a date in ages and as she put on a pop playlist and sipped her wine, she decided she felt happy. Happy to dress up and feel pretty, happy with the deposit in her bank account that hit earlier in the evening and happy to make a new friend, strange as the circumstances may be. Arianne still wasn’t home from work. so she sent a text to their group chat.

JUNIPER: I have something to share with the group

Her phone dinged once. Then twice. Then a third time.

EDITH: SPILL!!!!!

SERAPHINA: if it’s about the guy from the library I totally saw him snogging a guy yesterday

ARIANNE: Does it have anything to do with your disappearing act yesterday?

Her heart beat faster at the last text. Of course Arianne, of all people, would have noticed her avoidance the day before.

JUNIPER: Well kind of. Aemond invited me over for coffee to apologize about the photos.

They released a statement this morning, he explained that the press has been hounding him about his dating life and they’ll bite at anything

But… he may of invited me to dinner because he felt so bad

And I might have said yes

SERAPHINA: oh i was not expecting that

EDITH: Omg

JUNIPER: He promised his security would take care of any paps and the restaurant would be super private.

He was really sweet and more normal than I expected.

Doesn’t hurt to have friends in high places right?

ARIANNE: I’m not sure if getting involved with him is a good idea.

June let out a breath. Arianne had no clue exactly how involved she was about to get. She quickly responded.

JUNIPER: I wouldn’t say we’re involved!

She put her phone on do not disturb after that and took a large gulp of her wine. Although she felt a bit of relief that they knew something, the guilt of lying quickly washed over her.

They would do it too, she told herself as she finished her makeup.

It will be worth it, she told herself as she slipped on her coat.

I’ll be fine, she told herself as she got into the sleek, black SUV Aemond sent her

an: okay now we’re getting into the good stuff!!! i hope junes indecision comes across as genuine; she knows that the benefits of agreeing to help aemond would greatly improve her quality of life, her career, her status etc. but she is also very aware of it being a bad idea. like there’s no universe where it just goes well but a girl cannot turn down a dollar sign and a pretty man. im excited to play around with the friendship dynamics, and i hope you got a little peek of that in this chapter :) thank you for reading!!!

[https-mi1zu]

The Peacock and The Crow

(Chapters 9 & 10)

Word count: 5,898

TAGS:

Reyno - @radkatzzstuff

Elaine (character who finds june in forest) - @lordofthefrogs11

Author's note: chat I forgor it was the 25th today lmao anyways (UPDATE LIKE 5 MINUTES LATER AFTER POSTING THIS I JS REALIZED THAT CHP TEN IS KINDA DONE SO I DECIDED TO ADD IT HERE)

CHAPTER NINE: Can't wait to tell this story to my grandchildren.

The next day was the same as yesterday, a horn woke us half bloods up and everyone headed out. I yawned and stretched, hearing the loud cracks coming from my joints and my back, sleeping on the floor wasn't ideal, it was stiff but at least I had somewhere to sleep. I saw Rey already at the hermes table, talking with some other camper who looked to be the same age as him.

“morning Junie!” Rey got up from his seat after giving the camper he was talking to a small goodbye wave. “morning.” I grumbled, rubbing my eyes as he went up to me. Its energy like this that I wonder if he photosynthesizes this energy. We sat back down at the table, waiting for the food to be served. Rey went to talk about more on his life, the wolf house, Lupa, and other stuff until Keaton came by and did the same thing as yesterday. Make some big speech on how he was gonna save us all.

”I have a question, what is this prophecy Keaton’s talking about?” I looked to Rey, already tuning out Keaton in the background. “oh, it goes like this!” Rey let out a cough before speaking out this prophecy. “A child, one feared but one most cheered. Be the one, the prophecy neared.” Rey continued, this seems interesting. “through the deepest depth, lay a great name, find the one who attains this fame.” Rey ended with that, the breakfast soon came. Reyno had gotten eggs and bacon, I got a grilled cheese sandwich. “so thats what Keaton’s been on and on about? never really did get that ‘most feared’ part from him.” I told Rey, he was already shoveling the bacon into his mouth as if it was the last meal he’s ever gonna have. “Same here but the moment Keaton heard of this, he immediately started acting all special.” 

“Well, I guess whatever happens, we’ll find out soon enough, huh?” I said, taking another bite of my grilled cheese. It was comfort food, and right now, I needed that.

Rey nodded, his mouth still full of food. “Yep. Whatever the prophecy means, it’s probably going to make things interesting around here. Hopefully, we don’t all get dragged into whatever chaos Keaton’s convinced we’re about to face.”

“Let’s just hope that ‘great name’ in the prophecy isn’t referring to him,” I muttered under my breath. 

Me and Rey finished breakfast, after that he took me to do the camp activities. The first thing he wanted to do was fighting so we went to the arena. “here! I’ll teach you how to wield a sword!” As we walked in, there were already people sword fighting, some in the actual arena itself and others off to the side. I followed Rey to the rack of wooden swords, he tossed me one. It felt light in my hands, I held it on my right hand. Rey stood across from me, grinning widely. He wasn’t holding a sword, though. Instead, his eyes twinkled with mischief, and I noticed his hands were flexing, his nails beginning to elongate, sharp and claw-like.

“Ready for this?” he asked, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

I blinked, taken aback. “Uh, you’re not using a sword?”

Rey laughed, a deep, easy sound. “Nah, I’m good without one! Watch this!” His hands fully morphed, the claws extending from his fingertips in a smooth, almost graceful movement. “I’ve got my own weapons.”

I swallowed hard as he flexed his claws, giving me a wink. “No need to worry. I’m not gonna bite... unless you really deserve it.” He gave an exaggerated growl, showing off his teeth.

I chuckled nervously. “Right... okay, let's do this.”

With a sudden burst of energy, Rey lunged, his claws swiping through the air faster than I could react. I raised the wooden sword in front of me just in time to block the strike, the sound of wood meeting claw ringing through the air. The force sent me stumbling back a step, my arms buzzing from the impact.

Rey straightened up, grinning ear to ear. “Whoa! Nice block! You’ve got some good reflexes! But you gotta think quicker, yeah? You can’t just wait for me to come at you.”

I tightened my grip on the sword, trying to shake off the initial shock. “Right, thinking. Got it.”

He bounced on his toes again, clearly enjoying himself. “Good! ‘Cause I’m gonna come at you fast. Don’t blink!” Without another word, Rey darted forward, claws slashing at my side. I tried to dodge, but I wasn’t fast enough—his claws grazed my arm, a sharp sting that made me grit my teeth. Everything seemed to just stop for a moment, I could hear my heartbeat louder then Rey’s voice. The blood from the slash on my arm only seemed to grow bigger as I stared at it, the metallic blood now filling my nostrils. My breath grew deeper while I felt the heat from my blood drip. I could only stand there, and hold my stance, sword still in hand. Last thing I saw before passing out was Rey lunging towards me, concerned.

It had probably been hours since I passed out, now I was in the infirmary. It was quiet in the room where I stayed, too quiet for my liking. My arm was not wrapped up in a bandage, there was a slight brown stain on it. I could still recall the smell of blood, metallic. That was the first real time where I felt just, scared? It really wasn't fear that I felt, I didn’t know what to feel. Looking around the room, Rey wasn't there. He probably felt bad for attacking me by accident.

”oh, your awake.” I heard a voice enter the room. It sounded calming. The first thing I saw was a tray of food, then I knew exactly who it was. “Keith?” I mumbled out, he must've heard it “how do you know who I am?” Shoot, I probably sounded like a creep “Uhm, a friend told me? Reyno. I don’t know his last nam-“

 “wolf guy? I saw him rush you here in a hurry, after that he left” I watched as Keith placed the tray of food down by the table to my right. As he got closer to me, I started to notice things I didn't yesterday: he had a mole on his upper cheek, right underneath his left eye, Keith also had an earring, it looked like a peacock feather. “how are your bandages, not to tight?” He snapped me back to reality as he touched my arm.

”Oh! yeah yeah, not too tight” I sat up while Keith was making sure my bandages were just right. Keith finished adjusting the bandage on my arm, his touch gentle but precise. I could feel the warmth of his hand linger for a moment, and I couldn't help but notice the careful attention he gave to making sure I was comfortable. 

Keith then turned around to place the tray of food on my lap. It was bread, some fruits and soup.”You should eat something. It's not much, but it's better than nothing.” “thank you” I mumbled, picking up the bread to eat.

Keith nodded before heading toward the door. "Take care of yourself, June. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask." He left, I was alone again. As I picked at the food, my mind drifted back to Rey. I wondered if he felt guilty about what happened—he must’ve been worried. I couldn’t blame him. It was my fault for freezing up like that. I should’ve reacted faster. 

I stayed in the infirmary, it had probably been a few hours since Keith had left me alone. I wonder how Rey’s doing, I should apologize to him, I should've been faster, should have countered his attacks. 

Then I spent the rest of my afternoon just at the infirmary, soon will came in and checked up on my arm before telling me that I could go back to cabin 11. He gave me the same yellow liquid from when I first arrived. It still tasted like mango pudding cubes. Leaving the infirmary with a new scar, the first person to run up to me was Rey.

He hugged me so hard I swear to you he would have broken my ribs. He was saying sorry a thousand times for his earlier actions, saying that he should have just used a wooden weapon rather then his claws. I just said that I forgive him and that it was my fault for not reacting faster. “WHAT?? but it was my fault that I slashed you an- and you didn't even know how to fight!” He rambled into my shirt, the anxiety prominent in his voice. “I know I know but, I should've dodged your attack. Reflexes, am I right?” I tried to lighten up the mood by smiling in the way that Will does, but Reyno just looked at me worried. I knew that look too well. 

We continued training, but Reyno was a lot more cautious than before. He watched me carefully as we fought, moving a lot slower. Reyno flexed and unflexed his claws, gripping the wooden sword he grabbed from the rack beside the training dummies. The scar on my arm stung a little, not fully but just a little. It felt like an ant bite, or a jellyfish one.

Reyno and I trained for awhile, we trained until it was dinner time. Same routine as yesterday, except Keaton walked up to me.

 “Hey, you! You’re the other new camper  that arrived here, right?” He gave me a look, the same look that one gives you before they start being mean for no reason at all. “Yeah…?” I mumbled, Reyno had left me by myself because he needed to talk to some other friends, maybe something important. I fidgeted, averting my eyes uncomfortably from his gaze.

 “What? You think you’re too  good to look me directly in the eyes?” I looked at them, just for a second. They pierced into mine like bright rubies, the moonlight reflecting off them menacingly. The effect made him look more threatening than how he really was. I winced, turning my head away. “Ha! So you do, huh?” He slowly stepped forwards, which a “Well, listen up, okay? I’m not gonna let you upstage me just because you’re also new. If you do anything remotely fancy like become some child of the big three!” He exclaimed, almost as if he was saying that I was gonna upstage him. “Stay in your lane, four eyes.” Keaton turned away right after flicking my forehead, it didn't hurt really. It felt like a fly just flew right into my forehead. That was a weird interaction, thankfully Rey came back and sat next to me. “Sooo, what did I miss?” “nothing really, Keaton just told me to stay in the background.” I shrugged, not really knowing what to say. 

The next day came by faster than I expected and Rey was called to go on a quest with some other campers. I recognized one of them as the camper I saw at the arena, the one who was practically beating the hell out of that training dummy. I wanted to go with him of course, but…

“It's better if you stay here at camp, Junie.” Rey put his hand on my shoulder, looking at me with a serious expression rather than his silly sunshine one. “But why?” I asked him, a bit confused. I know I didn’t know how to wield a sword or a bow but. I didn’t want to be alone. “You need some more training, but don’t worry! I’ll try and finish this quest as fast as I can!” He soon slung his bag over his shoulder, walking away after he ruffled my hair. I watched him leave with the others, he disappeared into the foliage of the trees, walking farther and farther away from where I stood.

This felt familiar somehow. 

“You look lonely” I hear someone remark from behind me, I quickly fixed my hair as I turned to see who it was, it was Keith. “Don't worry, I've seen Reyno finish a quest as fast as hermes, he’ll be fine.” I nodded, not really wanting to speak after Rey had left. The next day felt short, it passed, one blink and it was gone. All I could remember from that day was…Keith?

I woke up early, before everyone else. Shuffling through the covers of my sleeping bag, I found my glasses and stared at the small clock the person beside me had, 6:30 am. I got up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. It was extra cold that morning, almost freezing. I pulled the covers of my sleeping bag off my legs, the cold hitting them. I shivered, even with socks on it still was cold for me. Honestly I don’t get how the campers here can wear shorts in the morning. 

The only and last clothes I had left that I had found in the lost and found were just some plaid white and blue pants and a black and red nirvana shirt. I wanted to go back to bed but my mind was telling me to take a walk outside. Quickly and quietly I left the cabin, looking around the place. It was plain, no campers running around or training. The slight sound of the trees and the wind whistling felt calming.

My eyes scanned the area, looking left and then right. Something, more specifically someone caught my eye, I saw a camper sitting by the campfire, wrapped in a blanket. It took me a second to realize who it was, Keith. I wondered why he was awake at this ungodly hour of the morning. There was something about him that felt somehow mysterious? I couldn't explain it but it was drawing me in.

Before I knew it, I was standing right behind him, Keith must've heard my footsteps. “I see i'm not the only one who wakes up this early” Keith looked at me, turning his head. 

He looked tired, almost like he’s never slept a day in his life, “what time did you wake up?” I asked, sitting next to him. 

“around 5? 5 or 5:20” I nodded, “I woke up at 6:30” 

We sat there in silence, just enjoying the warmth of the fire, Keith broke the silence “is your arm okay? you should probably change the bandages soon.” He said, looking down at my arm. It still stung a little, felt a bit numb, “oh, okay.” I replied, looking at my arm too.

“not much of a talker, are you?” He commented, “Your name's June right? June Manalo was it?” 

“yeah, how'd you know?” I was a bit surprised at that. I mean sure a few days before when Rey rushed me to the infirmary he would've said my first name but even I haven't told him my last name… 

Keith looked at me with a small smirk. "Rey mentioned it, when he was panicking about you getting hurt. It wasn’t exactly hard to piece together." He stretched, adjusting his blanket around him. “He talks about you a lot, you know. How you’re quick to forgive him and all that. Kind of cute, actually.” I let out a small chuckle “did he ask you to watch over me while he was gone?”

 Keith chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Nah. I just like the quiet. It’s peaceful, you know? I don’t get much of that during the day. And I’m used to being awake when everyone else is still asleep.” His eyes flickered toward me for a moment before he added, “I’ve seen you around camp. You don’t look like you fit in, not yet anyway.”

I frowned, not really sure how to take that. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, his expression unreadable. “You’re different. You haven’t really found your place here, have you?” His gaze softened as he looked at me. “But you will. It takes time.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I didn’t know Keith had this way of seeing through people, like he understood something deep down that no one else did. And honestly, it kind of scared me.

“So, what about you?” I finally asked, breaking the silence again. “Do you feel like you belong here?”

Keith looked at me for a long moment, his expression blank. Then he exhaled slowly, pulling the blanket tighter around him. "Not really," he said, his voice quieter than usual. "I’m just here because I have to be. But I don’t really fit in with anyone either." He glanced at me, as if deciding whether or not to say more, but then shrugged it off. “It’s complicated.”

I didn’t push him for more, though I was curious. There was a lot about Keith that I didn’t understand, and something told me that if I kept digging, I might end up finding more than I bargained for. But for now, I was content with the quiet.

The fire crackled between us, and the silence felt less oppressive as the minutes ticked by. It was strangely peaceful, being with someone who didn’t feel the need to fill every moment with words.

Soon the breakfast sound rung, all the campers now leaving their cabins to eat food. 

Keith stood up, wrapping the blanket around him like a cloak, and stretched his arms above his head. "Guess it’s time for breakfast," he muttered, I started to follow him as he walked to the pavilion. It was the same old crowd, one I've gotten used to over the past few weeks. Separating from Keith, I felt his hand catch my wrist “Why don't you come sit with me at the hera table, June?” 

“...okay” I said, letting Keith pull on my wrist to his table. I watched him sit down and pat the seat next to him, I just kept my silence and followed. 

I followed Keith that day, wherever he went I went too, whatever he did I did too. I followed him like a lost cat or his shadow, Keith would pop in from time to time, saying something about the activity we were doing. He was pretty good at a lot of camp things, archery, arts and crafts and sword fighting. I sat off to the side most of the time since my arm still had to heal. I was able to do some camp activities though, like arts and crafts.

There was still that same feeling that someone was just watching me, my every breath, move, and speech. Looking around, nothing was out of the ordinary. That apollo camper and nico were hanging out, probably just chatting, younger campers were running around and playing some game, and others just doing what they wanted to. I shook my head, must be paranoia, but the moment I looked back to nico and that camper to check again, nico was staring at me as if I had some answer to a question he was burning to ask. 

Before I could even get up to ask nico to stop staring, keith tapped me on the shoulder. “do you want to head to the pavilion early?” I nodded, I'll just ignore nico. Maybe he’ll stop.

Dinner was just the same routine, except I had keith to sit and talk with me. We chatted about today’s activities or just some campers, “did you hear that demeter kid’s on her fourth boyfriend this week?” Keith whispered to me, I looked in the direction he was pointing at and saw a curly haired brunette hugging a dude’s arm “oh damn…how old is she?” I asked, she didn't look older than 13. “somewhere around…14 or 13 I think, her boyfriend is like 17”  I was surprised that a thirteen year old had a boyfriend who was 4 years older than her, was that not reverse pedophilia? 

Soon after dinner ended, keith walked me to go get more sleeping clothes in the lost and found. I didn't find much except for long baggy pants with stars on them and a t-shirt with a cat. He waved me good night after He walked me to the shower rooms.

I prayed to whoever and whatever gods that the shower rooms where empty, surprisingly they were. Turning on the shower valve, the water came out hot. The hot water felt good against my skin, its warm enveloping me like a warm hug I'd get from my friends. Showering was quick, I wanted to get out and onto my bed immediately. 

I was in and out of the shower rooms quick, putting on the clothes as fast as I can before bee lining to the cabin. The door was closed as I reached the foot steps of the cabin. “damnit!” I semi shouted to myself as I tried knocking, no answer. It was freezing outside and my sleeping bag was in there. Not wanting to cause a whole scene, I just laid down on the ground and curled up like a cat would. I pulled my arms into my shirt, crossing them for warmth. Why was it always so cold during the nights?

I felt sleep soon take me over, my eye lids getting heavier and heavier by the second. The last thing I saw before succumbing to the slumber was the moon…

CHAPTER TEN: The calm before the storm

The sound of laughter rang through my ears, eyes staring at me in every direction. I felt the void around me close in, taking every breath I had. When I looked up, I saw Keaton laughing at me, pointing to my shoes and my outfit. He laughed like a hyena, being joined by his group of friends. All of them surrounded me, predator and prey, pointing and whispering stuff unintelligible, their eyes were pure white with a black dot. 

I couldn't think, couldn't breathe out a word to say something. My mouth was covered with a piece of red tape. Their voices became louder and louder, filling up my ears. I tried running away, to find anyone or anything besides them. It was a dark and empty void that followed me with every step I took. I covered my ears to block out the sound of their laughing but it was no use. I soon stopped as a hooded figure, boney in structure appeared in front of me. He held his staff and lifted his hand up to point at me…

“your next, little crow.” His voice was raspy and hagarred, sounding like nails on a chalkboard. I stared at him and before I knew it, I was being dragged down into the depths of where I stood. It was red, blood red, I looked down to see what was pulling me and it was a white string that burned like a thousand fires. I tried to swim up but the surface only seemed to get farther and farther away. I just gave up, letting the blood red liquids seep into my lungs, the laughing stopped.

Is this what death felt like? Was this the freedom I needed? Death isn't something to be afraid of, it happens once and once only. Death is a beautiful thing, for it lets you be released from all the sins you have committed.

But soon, I woke up to a sharp pain to my stomach. “wake up four eyes!” I heard a familiar voice say, I jolted awake to see Keaton kicking my stomach as hard as he could. I winced but didn't do anything about it, “I said get up!” He yelled at me, I flinched. I got up as fast as I could, dusting myself off of the dirt Keaton had kicked onto me. “Sorry” I looked down to my shoes, feeling embarrassed that someone saw me sleeping outside on the ground like some dog. “Next time at least find a tree to sleep in, little bird.” Keaton scoffed and walked away, his entourage following him behind. My stomach hurt like hell after Keaton kicked it, all I could do was clutch my stomach with my bandaged arm as I walked to the pavilion for breakfast. I didn't want keith to see me right now, I looked pathetic, I looked like a homeless man. 

I headed straight to the hermes table, sitting beside two tall campers to avoid Keith seeing me. They didn't notice me sitting in between them, maybe it was because I was short. 

The two campers beside me were talking about something—probably the latest prank that had gone down—but I wasn’t really paying attention. I grabbed a piece of toast from the tray in front of me, the crunch almost too loud in my ears, and forced myself to take a bite.  The bread was dry, barely tasting of anything as I chewed. My mind kept drifting back to the nightmare, the feeling of suffocation, of being dragged deeper into that suffocating red abyss. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, trying to push it out of my head. I wasn’t sure if the pain in my stomach or the memories from the dream were worse. Maybe they were both a sign that I wasn’t really awake yet. 

"Hey, you alright?" A voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turned to see one of the campers beside me looking at me with mild concern, her dark eyes studying my face. I hadn't even noticed her sitting there until now. I blinked, caught off guard. "Huh? Oh, I’m fine."

She gave me a skeptical look, clearly not buying it. "You sure? You look... off."

I forced a smile, though it felt more like a grimace. "Just tired. Bad night."

She nodded slowly, her expression softening a little. "Yeah, I get that. The camp can mess with your head sometimes. Just don’t let it drag you down."

Her words hung in the air like a distant echo, and for a moment, I couldn’t decide if they were comforting or just another reminder that I wasn’t really fitting in here at all. Still, I appreciated the gesture. She wasn’t Keaton, who seemed to take pleasure in making my life more difficult.

"Thanks," I muttered, trying to sound more at ease than I felt. 

As I finished the last of my toast, I forced myself to stand and blend into the crowd, pretending to be like everyone else. My eyes wandered for a moment, and that was when I saw Keith—his usual calm demeanor as he sat by the fire, chatting with a few campers. He didn’t seem to notice me right away, and for a second, I almost let the chance slip away.

She gave me a small smile before turning her attention back to her own breakfast, and I did the same. But my mind didn’t settle. It never did anymore. Every second was a battle between the familiar chaos of camp life and the unsettling thoughts that kept creeping in.

I didn't realize it at the time, but the more I looked at the campers around me, the more I felt like I was on the outside looking in—again. No one knew what I was really going through. No one understood. Not even Rey. The day continued on as normal, like everyday but I tried my hardest to hide away from keith. Every activity I did I made sure keith wasn't there or looking my way.

The activities were a blur, each one slipping by faster than the last, but the weight in my chest never quite lifted. Every time I thought about Keith, I felt a knot twist tighter. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was watching me, even when he wasn’t. That constant, gnawing sense that I was always on the edge of something terrible, something I couldn’t control.

I still followed the same routine, after dinner I showered and got a new set of clothes. The sun was starting to dip low in the sky, casting long shadows over the campgrounds, but I hardly noticed the change. The unease gnawed at me, crawling beneath my skin like a bug that wouldn't leave. I couldn't escape the feeling that someone was always lurking just out of sight, waiting for me to slip up. My thoughts kept drifting back to Keith. He was there—somewhere in the back of my mind—like a shadow, just out of reach but always there, like the echo of a bad memory. 

The sun sank lower, painting the sky with streaks of orange and pink, I found myself walking toward the edge of camp, away from the laughter and the noise. I needed to breathe, to get away from everyone and everything. I felt bad, not more or so depressed but bad, I didn’t do anything wrong though? Why am I feeling this way if all I did was wake up? Maybe that was the problem, maybe me just being here was the problem all along. I didn’t even notice when I walked up to a tree somewhere on the outskirts of camp. 

I let out a long breath, hoping the air would clear my mind, but it didn’t. It never did. My eyes shifted to the campfire, far off into the distance. It was cold. I missed the warmth from the campfire, the heat from the flame warm against my skin.  There had to be something else, something I could focus on that didn’t tie me to this dark place. But every time I tried, my mind circled back to the same fears, the same dread. It was like a storm inside me, relentless and impossible to ignore. The feeling of the shadows wrap around me, covering me like some shield. I pulled my knees up to my chest, hiding my face in my arms.

I want to disappear.

“Hey is anyone over there?” I looked up to see a camper, she had blunt bangs and glasses. Her hands were cupped against her mouth, making whatever she was shouting louder for me to hear. I immediately got up from my spot, brushing myself off as I walked over. “oh hey, just uh…needed some air to breathe?” I said, my voice a little higher pitched then normal.

The camper blinked at me, clearly not expecting that response. “Yeah? Well, you might want to breathe a little quieter next time, or someone’s going to think you’re dying out here.” Her voice was sharp but oddly casual, like she wasn’t fully invested in the idea of small talk. I had expected her to keep walking, maybe even roll her eyes at my awkwardness, but she just stood there, watching me with a raised brow.

“Not dying, just... drowning in my own thoughts,” I muttered, quickly regretting it. "But hey uhm…I mean, it's not like anyone cares about that anyway, right?"

She raised an eyebrow, her lips curling slightly, but she didn’t shoot back some snarky remark like I expected. Instead, she just gave me a look that said she wasn’t entirely convinced, but also not entirely interested in making me feel worse. Right, 'cause it's totally normal to just let your brain run wild like that. Must be so easy to ignore the chaos," she said, with a sardonic edge. There was a moment of silence, before she sighed dramatically, almost like she was annoyed with herself. “Look, I'm not here to lecture you, but whatever mess you're swimming in, don't think you're the only one who’s drowning.”

She paused, and for the first time, her gaze softened, if only just a little. “But hey, everyone needs air sometimes. Just... don't stay out here too long, or you might catch a cold. And then you’d really be miserable.” Her voice was still blunt, but it didn’t feel quite so harsh anymore. I walked with her back to the campfire, she waved me off before going to sit somewhere else. I didn't see Keith, surprisingly.  I sat back down by the fire, I tried to push the feeling of unease away, but it lingered, like a shadow I couldn’t shake. The embers crackled in front of me, casting flickering orange light over the ground, but even their warmth didn’t seem to reach the cold that had settled in my chest. I glanced around the fire, noting the others talking and laughing, the familiar sound of camp chatter that I’d been trying to avoid all day. But nothing felt normal anymore, not even the crackle of the fire.

I wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point, my mind slipped back to the events of earlier that morning. The sharp pain in my stomach still throbbed, a reminder of Keaton’s kick. The way he’d smiled, how his laugh felt like a weight sinking into my chest. And then there was the red tape. I could almost feel it pressing against my mouth again, suffocating me, as if I could never speak, never escape. I could still hear his voice echoing in my mind, mocking, taunting.

I swallowed hard, trying to push the thoughts away, but they clung to me, like dirt on my skin I couldn’t wash off. Maybe if I hadn’t been sleeping outside like that, maybe if I hadn’t looked so... weak, he wouldn’t have done it. Was it my fault? The fear of being seen as less than, as not enough, gnawed at me. But what did Keaton see when he looked at me? Weakness, probably. An easy target.

I rubbed my stomach absentmindedly, feeling the bruise there, trying to ignore the shame creeping up. I shouldn’t have let him get to me. I shouldn’t have let him laugh. But I hadn’t been able to stop myself. I hadn’t been able to do anything.

It didn’t matter. He was gone now, and I was here, still stuck in my own head. I could almost hear the laughter again, reverberating in the back of my mind, like an echo that wouldn’t fade. The shadows of the fire flickered, and for a moment, it felt like I was sinking again—like I was drowning in the feeling of it all. That same helplessness. I didn’t even know if I wanted to fit in here. I didn’t know if I ever had. All I knew was that I couldn’t keep pretending it didn’t matter. That maybe it didn’t hurt.

But even though I knew I wasn’t the only one drowning, I couldn’t help but feel that my weight was heavier than anyone else’s. Everyone else seemed so sure of their place, so sure of who they were. And here I was, stuck in this endless loop of self-doubt, of fear, of wanting to disappear.

The fire flickered one last time, the warmth barely brushing my skin, and I found myself standing up, walking away from it all, needing space, needing air. Away from the noise. Away from everything.

I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew I needed to go. To find something, anything, that would take away the feeling of suffocation, even if it was just for a moment.

And maybe that was all I could ask for. Just a moment. A moment where I didn’t feel like I was always drowning.

[therapy-gems]

30 Flavours of Autism: Grab a Spoon and Help Yourself

Welcome to part one of my series, Flavours of Autism, and my big, feisty feelings around the gatekeeping of autism diagnoses.

Depending on where you live, you’re forced to pay an inordinate sum for a private assessment, wait years for a publicly funded one, or worse, both. Some adults, like me, get lucky and skip the line due to a preexisting relationship with a qualified diagnostician. Unlike most kids, some get lucky and skip the line because their school already has one.

But what breaks my heart entirely is when autistic folks arrive for their assessment and fail to receive diagnoses due to a lack of knowledge and language to describe their lived experience. Not to mention that many symptoms of autism can interfere with the assessment process — and don’t get me started on how gender influences the likelihood of receiving a diagnosis and accurate assessment.

In my most professional, clinical opinion, I consider the process an absolutely abysmal bunch of rotten bananas — and sadly, my hands are mostly tied as a Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC, Canada. RCCs cannot diagnose, but we can provide specialized therapy and recognize, refer, and support clients throughout their journey. Not-so-recently, I realized this isn’t enough to bridge the gap, but through the wise words of the millennial icon, Junie B. Jones, I can assure you “that didn’t even faze me.”

I remain unphased because it is within my scope to disseminate and share what I know and continue to learn. I hope anyone encountering my content can use it to support themselves or others in preparing for their autism assessment. It’s overflowing with all the psychobabble and clinical jargon that might stand between them and an accurate assessment. Education is power, baby.

My words, this article, and the Flavours of Autism series are not a substitute for professional mental health advice or support, such as connecting directly with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Moreover, while it’s important to honour and explore your lived experience, reading and resonating with this article does not diagnose you or anyone else with autism, nor mean you or anyone else is autistic.

1. Monotropism

Monotropism refers to an intense focus on one interest or task at a time. Autistic individuals with monotropism may find it difficult to switch their attention between tasks. This deep, single-minded concentration can lead to exceptional expertise in their area of interest. However, it can also cause challenges when adapting to new activities or demands. Understanding monotropism can help create supportive environments that honour their focus while gently encouraging flexibility.

2. Echolalia

Echolalia involves the repetition of words or phrases spoken by others. This can be immediate, where the repetition happens right after hearing the words, or delayed, occurring hours or even days later. Echolalia is often a way for autistic individuals to process language, learn speech patterns, or communicate their needs. Recognizing echolalia as a meaningful communication attempt rather than mere imitation is important.

3. Idiosyncratic Phrases

Autistic individuals might use unique or unconventional phrases that hold personal meaning. These idiosyncratic phrases can confuse others but are significant to the individual. They may stem from specific interests, favourite media, or personal experiences. Understanding these phrases requires patience and a willingness to learn their context and significance.

4. Issues with Interoception

Interoception is the ability to sense internal bodily states like hunger, thirst, or temperature. Autistic individuals might struggle with interoception, making it hard to recognize and respond to their bodily needs. Interception issues can also lead to increased sensitivity to bodily states. This can lead to challenges in maintaining regular eating, drinking, and temperature regulation. Awareness and support in recognizing these internal cues are crucial for well-being.

5. Issues with the Vestibular System

The vestibular system, responsible for balance and spatial orientation, can be problematic for some autistic individuals. Difficulties with the vestibular system may result in coordination, balance, and movement challenges. This can affect daily activities like walking, running, or participating in sports. Occupational therapy and other supportive measures can help improve vestibular function and coordination.

6. Motor Tics

Motor tics are involuntary, repetitive movements such as blinking, twitching, or jerking. These tics can vary in intensity and frequency, sometimes becoming more noticeable during periods of stress or excitement. While motor tics are generally harmless, they can be distracting or socially stigmatizing. Understanding and accommodating these tics can help create a supportive environment.

7. Vocal Tics

Like motor tics, vocal tics involve involuntary sounds or noises like grunting, coughing, or throat clearing. These tics can be frequent and disruptive, affecting communication and social interactions. Recognizing vocal tics as involuntary behaviours and providing supportive responses can help reduce the individual’s anxiety and stress.

8. Repetitive Motor Movements

Repetitive motor movements, often called “stimming,” include hand-flapping, rocking, or spinning. These self-stimulatory behaviours are used to self-soothe, manage sensory input, or express excitement. While stimming is a natural and important behaviour for many autistic individuals, it might need to be managed in certain settings to ensure safety and social comfort.

9. Masking

Masking involves suppressing or hiding autistic traits to fit in socially. This can be exhausting and lead to significant stress or burnout over time. Masking often requires constant monitoring of one’s behaviour to meet social expectations, which can be mentally draining. Recognizing and validating the effort behind masking can lead to better support and understanding.

10. Camouflaging

11. Sensory Sensitivities

Sensory sensitivities refer to over- or under-reactivity to sensory input such as lights, sounds, textures, or smells. Autistic individuals may experience sensory overload or actively seek certain sensory experiences to regulate their sensory input. Understanding these sensitivities and creating accommodating environments can significantly improve comfort and functionality.

12. Executive Function Challenges

Executive function challenges include difficulties with planning, organizing, and completing tasks. These challenges can impact daily activities, academic performance, and time management. Supportive strategies, such as breaking tasks into smaller steps and using visual schedules, can help improve executive function skills.

13. Social Communication Differences

Social communication differences involve challenges with understanding and using verbal and nonverbal communication. This may include difficulties with eye contact, interpreting body language, or understanding social cues. Providing clear, direct communication and allowing extra time for processing can enhance social interactions.

14. Issues with Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotions appropriately. Autistic individuals might experience intense emotional reactions and find it hard to calm down. Developing coping strategies and providing a supportive environment can aid in better emotional regulation.

15. Aphantasia

Aphantasia is the inability to visualize images in the mind. People with aphantasia do not create mental pictures and may rely on other senses to process information. This condition can affect memory and imagination but also encourages unique ways of thinking and problem-solving.

16. Hyperlexia

Hyperlexia is characterized by advanced reading ability at a young age, often coupled with difficulties understanding spoken language. Autistic individuals with hyperlexia might have a strong interest in letters and numbers. Recognizing and supporting this unique learning style can help harness their reading skills effectively.

17. Alexithymia

Alexithymia involves difficulty in identifying and describing one’s own emotions. This can lead to challenges in emotional expression and understanding others’ emotions. Providing tools and strategies for emotional awareness and expression can improve communication and emotional health.

18. Dyspraxia

Dyspraxia, also known as Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), affects motor skill development. This can lead to clumsiness and difficulties with tasks requiring coordination. Occupational therapy and targeted exercises can help improve motor skills and daily functioning.

19. Hyperfocus

Hyperfocus is the intense concentration on a task or interest to the exclusion of everything else. While this can be highly productive, it may cause neglect of other responsibilities. Balancing hyperfocus with scheduled breaks and reminders can enhance productivity and overall well-being.

20. Synesthesia

21. Issues with Proprioception

Proprioception refers to the sense of body position and movement. Issues with proprioception often arise as an increased or decreased sensitivity in specific situations. These challenges typically affect coordination and spatial awareness. Exercises and physical therapies that enhance proprioceptive feedback can improve movement and balance.

22. Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) involves difficulty processing and interpreting auditory information. Individuals with APD may struggle to distinguish similar sounds or understand spoken language in noisy environments. Supportive strategies include using visual aids and ensuring a quiet learning environment.

23. Tactile Defensiveness

Tactile defensiveness is a strong negative reaction to touch or certain textures. This can lead to discomfort with certain fabrics, foods, or physical contact. Gradual exposure and sensory integration therapies can help reduce tactile defensiveness and improve comfort.

24. Selective Mutism

Selective mutism is the inability to speak in certain social situations despite being able to speak in others. Often linked to anxiety, it can be seen in social or unfamiliar settings. Creating a supportive and low-pressure environment can encourage communication.

25. Rigid Thinking

Rigid thinking involves difficulty in adapting to changes or seeing different perspectives. Autistic individuals may prefer routines and struggle with unexpected events or new ideas. Encouraging flexibility and gradual exposure to change can help ease rigid thinking patterns.

26. Sleep Difficulties and Disorders

Sleep disorders include difficulty falling, staying, or maintaining a regular sleep schedule. Common in autistic individuals, these disorders can impact daily functioning. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine and creating a calming sleep environment can improve sleep quality.

27. Anxiety Issues and Disorders

Anxiety disorders involve high levels of anxiety that can interfere with daily life. This may include social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or specific phobias. Counselling, coaching, psychotherapy, and other anxiety management strategies can provide relief and improve quality of life.

28. Depression

Depression involves persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or loss of interest. It can affect mood, energy levels, and overall well-being. Seeking professional help and building a supportive network are crucial steps in managing depression.

29. Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

ARFID involves extreme avoidance of certain foods, leading to nutritional deficiencies and weight issues. It is not driven by body image concerns but by sensory sensitivities, which are common in autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Autistic individuals may avoid foods based on texture, colour, or smell. Understanding ARFID involves recognizing these sensory challenges. Supportive strategies include working with dietitians or therapists to expand food choices and address anxieties. Providing a supportive environment can help improve nutrition and reduce food-related stress.

30. Twice-Exceptional (2e)

Here’s hoping this was helpful and that you’re satiated for now. Learning more about autism, the autistic experience, its nuances, and controversies is a labyrinth. However, I’ll always argue that it’s a worthwhile journey. Plus, aren’t we autistic folk notoriously partial to puzzles and deep dives?

For more hot takes and free education on autism, adhd, and neurodivergence, check out therapy-gems.medium.com <3

[eadekki]

intro & commission info

hi there! welcome to my blog! my name is junie.

this page is a place for me to post art, post ocs, make friends, answer questions, and take art requests!

if you're new here, here's some information about me!

i am autistic and my special interest is mlp g4! I also have really strong interests in character design and digital art, which is what you'll see a lot of on this blog!

i am a speech-language pathologist!

i'm a huge foodie! I cook a LOT and i really enjoy going to restaurants I've never tired before (and restaurants i've been to a million times lol)

i'm a big theme park enthusiast! I also love festivals!

I have a pet goldfish that I have had since freshman year of college and his name is blannibal!

some of my other big interests include: sweeney todd, elton john, fantasy/medieval-related things, victorian fashion and history, collecting plushies, collecting house plants, and getting tattoos!

below is my updated commission info! please reach out if you are interested or if you have questions!

[kidlit-queen-competition]

Round 3 poll 6: Amelia Bedelia vs Junie B. Jones

Propaganda:

Amelia Bedelia:

The whole series is about her taking figures of speech literally. Relatable because she shows the English language is confusing as fu-

she's very silly, and her books were among my favorites as a kid. her whole deal is that she takes metaphors very literally, which results in lots of shenanigans when someone asks her to do something. i still think about her "dusting the furniture" (covering it with dust) and "drawing the drapes" (drawing a picture of them on a piece of paper) when i clean anything.

queen of literal interpretation!

She's just a silly goofy type

absent-minded/processing issues queen

Well meaning and kind hearted but bumbling maid who’s made generations of kids laugh with her literalist antics

Junie B. Jones:

She's a total icon for weird little girls everywhere. She has a peep in her pocket. She's a party animal. She's a beauty shop guy. She's captain field day. She only likes B and that's all. She's everything.

[zroteen]

Do you guys fw my discord

[the-spaced-out-ace]

i can't believe i forgot junie b on my meme about nd coded girls i grew up with,,,,,she was so me and influenced my kindergarten speech patterns a lot, i fear

[junipaca]

rare crossover, tma in rtgame stream

[the-light-of-stars]

President of Israel announces "strong presence" Israel's in Gaza even after the end of the current attacks, likely involving the US, while Israel's military now also calls for evacuation of the south of Gaza and israeli Minister of Defence announces the ultimate expansion of ground operations into both north and south. Also: israeli Minister of Finance calls for "voluntary emigration" of all specifically 'arab' palestinians into other countries as "a humanitarian solution to end arab and jewish suffering"

"Herzog: Must not accept a vacuum in the Gaza strip. According to President Isaac Herzog's assessment Israel has to show a strong presence in the Gaza strip for the time being, even after the war, to prevent a renewed strenghthening of the radical islamist Hamas. "If we draw back then who is going to take over? We can't leave a vacuum behind. We have to think about what the mechanism is going to look like." said Herzog in an interview by the "Financial Times". Currently many ideas for this are going around.

"But no one is going to want to turn this place, Gaza, into a terror base again." The Israeli Government is currently discussing many ideas about how a post-war order is going to look like. But it can be assumed that the USA and Israel's "neighbors in the region" are going to be involved in some way."

_

"Israel's military calls on people in the south of Gaza to flee as well. The israeli military has called on palestinian civilians in some regions of the southern Gaza strip to flee as well. To the east of the city Chan Junis fliers with the order to vacate the region have been spread. Everyone who lingers near militant palestinians or their bases "risks their life" so it says.

Observers consider the newest flier actions a hint for a possible expansion of the israeli military operations into the south of the territory, where hundreds of thousands of people already fled after the last evacuation order. Just on Wednesday israeli Minister of Defence Joav Galant noted, that the ground operations will ultimately "include both the North and the South.""

_

Additionally to this according to the UN Emergency Relief Office (OCHA) the last remaining functioning flour mill has been destroyed by an israeli attack now.

And the far right israeli Minister of Finance has been calling for a "voluntary emigration" of all specifivally "arab" palestinians, which according to him is "a humanitarian solution to end both arab and jewish suffering"

And yet the German Government still calls definitions of this as ethnic cleansing, genocide, apartheid or colonialist occupation "absurd accusations" and considers them antisemitic hate speech.

[coolskeleton59]

Oh my gosh, Is that Junie talking? They grow up so fast...

[* KEVIN turns around, nodding. If he had a mouth on his face, it'd be smiling.]

"MMHM! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO WIRE THEIR VOICE OUT TO THE SPEAKERS PROPERLY."

[* JUNIE speaks, their voice stilted and bitcrushed, like an old text to speech program.]

"It's a whole lot of fun! Did you know the office has paper clips, potted plants, and rubber bands?"

[charleslee-valentine]

Junebug.

Word Count: ~1,300

Chapters: 1 of ??

Ship(s): Radiohead (Brocktop/Vietnita/Stretch x Chop Top)

Warnings: Trans male pregnancy (past), mild panic attack, a baby almost gets injured.

also on ao3!

_______

The empty house next door to the Sawyers, not the old Franklin house, but the one Aunt Nancy was living in before she run off from the law, has found new residence.

Nobody else wanted it. The family themselves had avoided taking the blame for Nancy and her boy getting caught, successfully hiding their own misdeeds as the police uncovered body after body from the tailored house just a ways down the street.

They let it sit empty for a couple months, years, eventually considering selling it off to avoid the heat. There was, after all, no use for it. Let it rot, forget the blemish on the family name.

‘Til a bouncing baby come along.

Once upon a time, Drayton had been grateful when Bobby brought home a girl. That would mean no extra mouths to feed. Only, this girl wasn’t no typical girl. She was like Bobby, only the opposite way.

She had him knocked up by a couple months into their relationship.

Out popped a baby with a couple red hairs, the brightest of blue eyes, and a giggle like an ornery little grinny.

They called the baby Junebug.

Bobby had insisted they name the kid Bumble Bee, but Stretch thought it might be worth giving their child a /relatively/ normal legal name. Junebug could work as Junie or Junior when need be, and Bug could work at home.

Junebug Cassiopeia Major Sawyer.

It was better than Sugar Snap, or Sasafrass, or Moonlight, though it wouldn’t have been Stretch’s first choice. Then again, her fiancé calls her by her old dj name, so maybe she has no place to mention that.

Baby Junebug is an explorer, first and foremost.

All the stars shine in those striking blue eyes when an opportunity to get into some trouble arises. Looking to Bobby himself, it’s not much mystery where that streak of mischief comes from.

Out in the tailored front lawn of their new home, where the rows and rows of flowers used to be, they built a little rocking bench out of scrap wood from the old shack that got torn down.

When they’re letting baby roam and adventure, the backyard is better for that, but Stretch is off work today to help watch the kid, and Bobby is always free to play around. So out front to appreciate the sun and the pretty garden it is.

It seems to always get Bobby, now that he’s all recovered postpartum, damn hyper.

“H-Hey, mama! W-Watch me. L-Look, Stretch, c’mon!”

Somehow, the man got it in his head that he could do a cartwheel. Probably because Nubbins could and he wanted to be identical to his twin, even if they looked not much alike.

Now Stretch is forced to watch his attempts.

Really, he’s just kind of flipping around in the dirt, ruining the one nice pair of pants he has, but she’s polite enough, giving tiny applause when he sort of almost gets it. It’s his spontaneity that had her enamored with him in the first place, after all.

Junebug, on the other hand, isn’t /pretending/ to be absolutely fascinated.

Only a little less than two now, Bug has mastered walking and crawling and a little bit of climbing, but still struggles with speech. And with growing hair apparently, the poor thing only adorned with light little wisps, enough to just barely curl around their little ears.

That doesn’t dampen an adventurous spirit one bit.

One minute, Stretch is holding her pride and joy in her lap, guiding tiny hands to applaud Bobby’s job almost well done. The next, she’s watching horrified as her baby decides she’s a diving board to free fall towards the dirt.

Now, the bench isn’t very high, but a skinny little 22 month old doesn’t have a snowball's chance in hell of getting out of that fall without at least minor injuries.

They’re lucky Bobby’s already on the ground, he dives and catches their Junebug like a football, grinning up at Stretch victoriously. Stretch herself, on the other hand, kind of freaks out.

For a moment, she’s sort of frozen, but once sense comes back into her, it’s panic time.

“Robert did you- Our /baby/ could’ve- Holy mother of-“

Maybe she’s a stammering mess. So what if she wants to be the one in the family to assume that mantel for once? Sue her.

“I-I got it, mama.”

Bobby isn’t trying to be dismissive. He caught the baby! It’s no big deal now.

Except that this was very, very big. Stretch should’ve held on better, should’ve been paying more attention, shouldn’t be raising her baby on this death trap of a farm-

“Shush.” Stretch says out-loud to silence her Bobby, for one, but to silence her thoughts too.

No need to bring up all that shit she’d worked through a thousand times already. She’s a good mother goddammit. And her Bobby ain’t a half bad papa either.

Pacing helps her burn off some of the tension. Shaking her bangle bracelets too. Maybe she’s learned a thing or two from watching them Sawyer boys. Nothing bad about physically expressing big feelings.

Junebug watches her with fascination in those big blue eyes. From the waist up, in time with Stretch’s pacing, a rhythm is set. Wiggling like a snake would.

Bobby notices first, probably because he’s still holding the wiggly little Bug. Of course he’s going to encourage fun when he sees it.

“A-Are ya daaaancin’? Wanna, d-dance with mam? G-Go on, get her.”

With little assistance, (“Don’t you go doin’ everythin’ for that baby now, Robert! The kid has got to learn!”) Junebug rises first to hands and knees, and then to standing. A few clunky, toddling steps is all it takes to reach Stretch, who notices right away and reaches down to take the little one’s reaching-up hands.

“Hi, my baby. You want up?”

Words or no words, she knows her baby enough to know that wasn’t the right answer. A little scrunched up nose gives it away.

“I think J-Junebug wanna dance!” Bobby clarifies, hauling ass to get to his feet.

The cartwheels weren’t enough to burn the fuel off the hyperactive well, apparently, because then he’s weaseling his way into the circle, one hand holding little Junebugs carefully, while the other wraps around Stretch’s waist, demanding more motion.

It’s not even a dance. It’s aggressively spinning in a circle to the tune of whatever made up bullshit song her Bobby makes up on the spot, ‘til one of them falls on their ass.

That honor goes to miss Vanita herself. She can’t up and goes down.

Totally unconcerned for her well being, the baby she’s put buckets of love and dedication into raising up, laughs at her until those chubby little cheeks turn bright pink.

At least it’s charming when the baby does it. Her Bobby would laugh in her damn face too if he wasn’t busy spinning like a Tasmanian devil.

He doesn’t slow down at all and subsequently trips over her legs and falls onto his ass next, dramatically hauling Bug in the air to keep fragile baby bones out of harm's way.

Not even a second passes to make sure things are settled before he’s buzzing and swooping the two year old around, imitating an attack helicopter he claims, (“Bubble gum, i-if it was a p-plane, i-it’d sound like th-this… Not-Not this...“)

He’s less charming, when he turns the tot around and declares that the diapered bottom now right in Stretch's face is where the attack missiles launch from. She slaps the back of his head for that one. He knew it was gross and just giggles about it, which of course, makes Junebug imitate that signature laugh. Had to learn it from somewhere.

Stretch, even if her favorite dress is dirty, and her baby gave her a little heart attack, /and/ her future husband is a little bit less than a gentleman, well she wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, she signed up for this when she agreed to a second date with Bobby after the first took them on a trek through the woods and they got helplessly lost in knee-high crick water.

That’s a story for another time. Maybe when Junebug gets a little older and starts wondering about mama and papa.

(Junebug Sawyer was co-created with @maskemasker)